Back Issues: Halloween #1-3

Story Title: “Halloween”
Published: November 2000
Writers: Phil Nutman and Daniel Farrands
Artist: David Brewer

Story Title: “Halloween II: The Blackest Eyes”
Published: April 2001
Writers: Phil Nutman and Mickey Yablans
Artist: Jerry Beck

Story Title: “Halloween III: The Devil’s Eyes”
Published: November 2001
Writer: Phil Nutman
Artist: Justiniano

Quick Facts:
One of the most influential horror films ever made, John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) inspired a handful of comic book continuations and spin-offs over the years. Published by Chaos! Comics, these three issues bridged the gap between Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (Chappelle, 1995) and Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (Miner, 1998) and provided additional insight into Michael Myers/The Shape and expanding the series mythology in interesting ways.

The Review:
Like Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, Chaos! Comics’ Halloween continuation begins (and focuses on) a grown-up Thomas “Tommy” Doyle. Tommy contacts Michael Cyphers at Smith’s Grove Sanatorium in hopes of getting Doctor Samuel Loomis’s notes on Michael Myers to use in a book about the famed serial killer. Cyphers is so distracted by the grisly photos of Michael’s murders that he doesn’t notice the masked killer looming and gets impaled through the neck with a kitchen knife. Michael’s then briefly transfixed by a photo of his older sister, Judith, whom he killed on Halloween night in 1963. Lurking in the shadows, reliving that fateful night, Michael goes unseen by Tommy when he comes by for Dr. Loomis’s notes, and by the security guard who ushers Tommy out. When Tommy returns to Haddonfield to read the documents, the story flashes back to when the stoic, remorseless seven-year-old Michael first came to the sanatorium and was placed under the doctor’s care. Immediately troubled by the boy’s disturbing nature, Dr. Loomis recommends that Michael be moved to a private room rather than be amongst the other violent juvenile inmates, only to be categorically shot down even after Dr. Loomis is backed up by his colleague, Doctor Jennifer Hill. Michael immediately catches the ire of Tony O’Malley, a violent teenage psychopath who becomes fixated on making the “dummy” talk…or cry…and pays for it by taking a crayon to the eye (though God-fearing self-harmer Roger takes the credit). During therapy, the mute Myers disturbs and delights the naïve Dr. Loomis by drawing his crimes, giving Dr. Loomis pause to think the boy wasn’t insane. Dr. Loomis makes Michael his top priority (alongside romancing Dr. Hill, of course) and notes that the other boys seem placated by fear after O’Malley’s “accident”.

While reading about Michael’s background, Tommy is attacked by the Shape himself!

No other incidents followed until a year later, on Michael’s eighth birthday (the day after the one-year anniversary of Judith’s murder), when Michael punished gluttonous Wade/Donut for ruining his birthday cake by causing him second-degree shower burns that lead to his death. Over the next few years, Michael was so docile and placid that many forgot why he was even there. By age fourteen, Michael was the “model inmate” but his fellow inmates either died horribly or went hopelessly insane for seemingly no reason. Dr. Loomis is incensed when his superior, Doctor Carpenter, insists on throwing a Halloween party, convinced that it’s too great a risk despite how placid Michael appears. Dr. Loomis gets distracted by his wedding plans with Dr. Hill, expressing regret for not trying harder to stop the party, which sees Nancy drowned during a convenient power cut while bobbing for apples. Although Michael was nowhere near when it happened, she had taunted him right before it and Dr. Loomis is so convinced that Michael is behind it (or “the Devil”) that he nearly lays hands on the boy. Dr. Hill stops him, insisting that he’s better off distancing himself from Michael and starting a private practice, only for Jennifer to get tossed from the hospital roof one night. Heartbroken, Dr. Loomis dedicated his life to proving that Michael was evil incarnate and doing everything in his power to keep the boy from being transferred to an open facility to avoid giving him the chance to escape. Though disturbed by Dr. Loomis’s writing, Tommy pushes on and is thus caught completely off-guard when Michael breaks into his house brandishing a kitchen knife. Amazed and horrified to see Myers still alive, Tommy unloads with a pistol, getting a bitch slap for his efforts, and then ignites a bottle of Jack Daniels in Michael’s masked face. Tommy follows up by smashing a chair across Michael’s back and the Shape, his face aflame, tumbles from Tommy’s first-floor window, disappearing soon after and leaving Tommy vowing to destroy him once and for all.

Brackett reveals key insights into Michael’s cursed past before being murdered by Myers,

Relieved to find Dr. Loomis’s notes undamaged from the fight, Tommy reloads and heads to the old Myers house, where Richie Castle (one of the boys who bullied Tommy as a kid) is currently sitting outside and thinking about his run-in with Michael, an encounter that has haunted him for twenty-four years. Bitter, the inebriated Richie decides to “burn down the past” only to be accidentally gunned down by Sheriff Leigh Brackett, who’s also skulking around the house looking for revenge and closure after Myers murdered his daughter, Annie, in 1978. After stealing a car from his other childhood bullies, Tommy spots Brackett and follows him to a pumpkin field outside town, where he buries Richie and tells Tommy of Haddonfield’s sordid past. It turns out the town’s name is derived from “Hayden” (or “cursed”) and that fanatical druids (the Cult of Thorn), led by Murphey Myers, fled there to escape the New England witch hunts. Murphey carried the “curse of Samhain”, which led to the women of his bloodline to be “touched” by visions and some telepathic ability and the men to carry the “seed of Samhain’s evil”. Unlike most of the townsfolk, who were descended from those druids, Brackett’s family moved to Haddonfield in 1901, but he still knows (thanks to Dr. Loomis’s private diaries) that the druids regularly sacrificed people to their dark Gods. Although the Myers family knew peace for three generations, that changed when Audrey Myers gave birth to Michael at 23:57, Halloween night, 1957. Fated to be the “vessel to carry the ultimate evil”, Michael jerked to life at 12:06 after being stillborn, apparently possessed by a dark entity. Although Michael was a normal little boy for most of his life, his evil unleashed itself when he was compelled to murder Judith, Brackett’s ex (who was a bit of a slapper, it turns out).

Framed for murder, Tommy reunites with Lindsey to discuss Michael’s evil.

While Michael murders Richie’s friends after they trespass in his home, Tommy and Brackett are jumped by the Cult of Thorn (led by Mrs. Blankenship) and tied up in the church basement. While Mrs. Blankenship debates what to do with the two with the local priest, Michael freely walks the night-time streets amidst the trick-or-treaters, murdering some random girl while being drawn to the church, where he butchers the priest just as he’s freeing Tommy and Brackett. Tommy stuns Michael with another chair shot and Brackett gathers his courage to toss a lantern at the Shape’s head, being stabbed in the heart for his trouble. However, Tommy fights Michael with a fire extinguisher and knocks him into an electrical box, electrocuting Myers and causing the church to dramatically explode. Discovered by the Cult of Thorn, Tommy is framed from Brackett’s murder and tossed into Smith’s Grove Sanatorium. Two years later, in 2001, Tommy (still haunted by Halloween 1978) is scheduled for execution by Doctor Terence Wynn (somehow still alive after Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers). Determined to finish Michael, Tommy fights off Dr. Wynn and his bulbous henchman and briefly encounters Myers (despite him having been beheaded a couple of years prior) while escaping the hospital. Meanwhile, Lindsey Wallace, Tommy’s childhood friend who was also there on Halloween 1978, returns to Haddonfield as a reporter to expose Michael’s evil and search for Laurie Strode, who vanished after Halloween H20. Naturally, Lindsey is suspicious when Tommy approaches her as he’s been accused of all sorts of awful stuff, but he protests his innocence and uses Dr. Loomis’s diary as proof that Michael has inexplicably survived. The diary details an incident in 1970, where Dr. Loomis met with the aged Hattie Bartok and learned of Michael’s chilling birth, which saw his stillborn body possessed by an evil spirt and that Michael had another sister: Laurie Strode.

Laurie takes up her brother’s mantle, indicating that the Myers curse is never-ending.

Startled by a noise, Lindsey and Tommy head upstairs to find a severed head hacked up like a jack-o’-lantern and three desiccated corpses arranged on a bed before their tombstones. Michael then gets the drop on Tommy and stabs him in the shoulder. Lindsey flees in terror, injuring her leg after a tumble down the stairs but disarming Michael by trapping his wrist in a door. Fleeing into the deserted streets, Lindsey barely avoids being run down and finds herself running right to the deserted Myers house. Against her better judgement, Lindsey enters and heads to Judith’s old room, where she lures Michael in by posing as his sister. Although he briefly hesitates, Michael reacts violently when Lindsey tries to take his knife, smashing her through the dress mirror and leading Lindsey to stab him in the eye with a shard of glass. This allows Tommy to shoot Michael, unmasking him to find their attacker is Laurie! Overcome with a mindless, murderous rage, her one good eye as black as Michael’s, Laurie lunges at Tommy and the two take a spill to the outside with a fall that apparently breaks Tommy’s neck, judging by the art. Four weeks later, the injured Laurie is in a padded cell in Smith’s Grove Sanatorium under the care of Doctor Block. Lindsey visits and learns that Laurie has regressed into a docile state, apparently having undergone a “textbook case” of “psychotic personality transference”. After beheading Michael, Laurie took his head as a “trophy” but, as she couldn’t survive without Michael, she effectively “became him” to give her life purpose. Dr. Bloch believes the Myers family is “cursed” by mental illness caused by generations of alcohol and incest, believing Dr. Loomis became so obsessed by Michael’s evil that it skewed his perception. Unconvinced, Lindsey gazes upon the stoic, apathetic Laurie and ponders just how deep the madness runs in the Myers bloodline and its ties to whatever ancient evil tainted the family all those years ago.

Final Thoughts: 
The Halloween franchise has always been a mess. While I can just about give Halloween II (Rosenthal, 1981) a pass as it desperately tried to end the story, it destroyed the mystique surrounding Michael Myers by making Laurie his sister. Ironically, I don’t mind this twist (mainly because it was a cohesive glue through four of the original sequels), but every sequel since has tried to explain more about Michael’s past and his motivations. This culminated in Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers, which delivered on the “Samhain” tease from Halloween II by tying Michael to the ancient Cult of Thorn and making his actions explicitly supernatural. This was messy no matter which version of the film you watch and thankfully never revisited, and it was the popular canon before Halloween H20 ignored all the sequels but Halloween 2. Chaos! Comics made a valiant attempt to recanonise those sequels, however, starting soon after the end of whatever version of Halloween 6 you prefer and seemingly leading into (or providing an alternative version of) Halloween: Resurrection (Rosenthal, 2002). Although Michael is said to be explicitly supernatural here, he is inarguably dead in “The Devil’s Eyes” and Lindsey ponders if his madness or curse has spread to Laurie, an interesting development that echoes when the franchise teased replacing Michael with his niece, Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris) in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Little, 1988). Considering I was all for that idea, I wouldn’t have minded if these comics had been tweaked slightly to all take place after Halloween H20 and had the “Michael” stalking Tommy always be Laurie. We still could’ve had the flashbacks to Michael’s past and such and this would’ve tied closer to the themes of the nature of evil and the cursed Myers bloodline.

An interesting take on Halloween‘s messy lore that doesn’t quite live up to its potential.

Tommy was oddly characterised here. He doesn’t seem to fit with either version of Halloween 6 and the art constantly depicts him in different ways, with him starting off as a fairly unassuming guy, appearing much older in “The Blackest Eyes” and looking completely different in “The Devil’s Eyes”. I think it might’ve been better to follow Lindsey as she works to discover Michael’s background for a story. She could’ve liaised with Tommy after he was committed following Halloween 6 and he still could’ve escaped in “The Blackest Eyes” for the final showdown with “Michael”. I quite liked seeing Michael’s childhood in Smith’s Grove Sanatorium and the twist that Dr. Loomis’s vendetta against him was made personal when Myers murdered his fiancée (as odd and ill-fitting it was to see Dr. Loomis in love). It was interesting seeing the supernatural creep into Michael’s time in the hospital, how his actions were framed as accidents and fuelling the scepticism regarding Dr. Loomis’s wild claims about the otherwise docile patient. I was also glad to see Sheriff Brackett return, but he’s basically here to dump exposition that could’ve easily been related in Dr. Loomis’s otherwise pointless meeting with Hattie Bartok. It might’ve been cool for Tommy and Brackett to team up, dealing with Richie and the others as they try to intercept Michael at his house and the Cult of Thorn try to regain control of him. It was weird featuring Dr. Wynn, especially considering the ends of Halloween 6 and that there’s no explanation of what happened to Dr. Loomis. Michael is basically the saving grace of these issues, appearing as a silent, unstoppable wraith who mercilessly stabs and manhandles anyone in his way. There’s a fair bit of gore here (I especially liked the depiction of Michael and his flaming head in “The Blackest Eyes”) and a decent attempt to make sense of Halloween’s messy lore. This story isn’t perfect and it’s definitely better than either Halloween 6 and Halloween: Resurrection, but I couldn’t help but think something was lacking. The focus on exposition and backstory bogged it down and robbed us of either more Myers action or placing Laurie as his successor, meaning it’s an interesting curio in the wider Halloween mythos that doesn’t quite live up to its full potential.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever read Chaos! Comics’ Halloween? Did you appreciate the attempt to make sense of the nonsense Halloween lore? Do you think it would’ve been better if Laurie had been the killer in this story? Were you a fan of the Cult of Thorn or do you prefer Michael’s backstory to be more mysterious? Do you agree that Lindsey should’ve been the main character here? Would you like to see this era of Halloween make a comeback? What horror-themed comics are you reading this Halloween? Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, comment below, check out my other horror content, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want me to review more Halloween comics.

Game Corner: Quantum of Solace (Xbox 360)

Released: 31 October 2008
Developer: Treyarch

Also Available For: Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii, PC, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3

Quick Facts:
When Activision secured the rights to the James Bond franchise, they immediately developed a videogame tie-in to the largely divisive Quantum of Solace (Forster, 2008), handing the project to Treyarch. Their Call of Duty (Various, 2003 to present) game engine provided a basis for enemy behaviours and gameplay mechanics. Though reluctant, star Daniel Craig also appeared in and offered feedback on the game, though Quantum of Solace released to mixed reviews that criticised the rushed narrative and repetitive gameplay.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Quantum of Solace is a first-person shooter (FPS) that retells key events of the movie of the same name, while also featuring a massive interlude that recaps Casino Royale (Campbell, 2006). For anyone hoping for a classic FPS 007 experience, you may be disappointed to learn that Quantum of Solace has more in common with the Call of Duty games, setting a precedent for Activision’s subsequent 007 titles in the process. Accordingly, players fire with the Right Trigger, reload with X, toss grenades and flashbangs and such with the Right Bumper, and press the left stick to briefly sprint. You use the Left Trigger to “aim down the sights”, using this alongside a mild auto aim to quickly target enemies even when they’re behind cover, while the Left Bumper switches weapons (of which you can carry only three). Bond vaults over obstacles and gaps with Y, crouches with B to either sneak up on enemies or use cover, and “snaps to” cover with A. While under cover, players can either pop up to return fire, shoot around whatever they’re hiding behind, or use A to quickly dash to alternative cover, with the game adopting a third-person perspective for these moments. The directional pad (D-pad) alters your weapon’s fire rate and equips a silencer (if possible) and cycles through your different grenades. Bond can bring up his hand-dandy smart phone with the “View” button, receiving an overview of his objectives, cycling through any security cameras he’s hacked, reading data files, and consulting a pretty substandard map as a compass guides you towards your objectives. By default, Bond automatically regains health when taking cover or staying out of harm’s way, though Quantum of Solace is pretty generous with its checkpoints so it’s hardly an inconvenience when you die.

Take cover in firefights, hack locks, and shimmy past guards in this substandard COD clone.

When sneaking up on enemies, players can press in the right stick to perform a silent “takedown”. This initiates a quick-time event (QTE) where you must hit the right button to subdue your target, though enemies will be alerted if they spot the body, if you make too much noise, or if you’re spotted by cameras. Thus, it’s better to disable these by holding X when prompted rather than shooting them. Bond also shimmies along balconies to bypass guards, with the game often employing a picture-in-picture perspective to make it easier to time when to hop past windows and such. Occasionally, players must maintain their balance on beams using a pendulum mechanic, jump larger gaps with Y when prompted, and use a mounted turret to mow down enemies with no danger of it overheating. X interacts with the environment, retrieves phones for data files, activates switches, opens gates, and hacks PCs. When used on certain locks, a hacking mini game is initiated where you must press a direction on the D-pad when the number appears in green. Naturally, Bond has a small arsenal of weapons to choose from, either by grabbing guns dropped by enemies or opening special crates. You’ve got his standard-issue Walther PP9, of course, and similar variants alongside the high-impact Super Magnum, two heavy-duty shotguns, and a super fun grenade launcher. There are a couple of sniper rifles, with Bond able to hold his breath for a short time to steady his shot, and a whole bunch of machine and submachine guns. Some come with silencers and special scopes, some burn through ammo faster than others, and some are pretty weak and inaccurate or take longer to reload. I quite enjoyed the Uzi-like Mantis, the hefty TLD22, and the heavy-duty 8-CAT, but the M14 can go die in a ditch. You won’t have to worry about buying upgrades or add-ons or anything so just grab your favourite weapon and go for it.

It’s rare, but some missions offer unique objectives and mechanics to mix up the tedious gameplay.

While some sections promote stealth, being spotted usually just raises an alarm and sees more enemies swarm in, which can end your run pretty quickly so it’s better to pick enemies off with your silenced PP9 or sniper rifle. When stealth is necessary, you must crouch-walk around deactivating cameras and subduing enemies, though this can be tricky if you’re impatient like me. Other times, you’re forced to “survive” against waves of enemies who dive and crouch behind cover or toss grenades if they see you camping. You can shoot electrical boxes and explosive targets to thin out their numbers or occasionally shoot specific targets to drop boats onto them or collapse their rickety platforms. When Dominic Greene’s elaborate estate catches fire in the finale, you must shoot fire extinguishers to dose the flames, crawl though vents in the science centre, and quickly take out enemies before they separate your speeding train from Vesper Lynd’s. You get thirty seconds to do this and there are other similarly timed challenges to contend with, like when you’re given twenty seconds to run, crouch, and escape the tunnels before turncoat Craig Mitchell sets off his explosives or forty-five seconds to kill Greene. There are a couple of chase sequences, with the game (mostly) recreating the famous parkour chase from Casino Royale, forcing players to take alternative paths when the way is blocked or the ground gives beneath them, or when you chase Mitchell across the rooftops and through the houses of Siena. To infiltrate the opera house, players must sneak around disabling cameras and putting down enemies, heading under the docks and manipulating the gantries with switches, and finally sidling along on precarious ledges to avoid being spotted by snipers. The train missions see you taking ladders to the roof to take out and get the drop on enemies, you must snipe the guards outside the science centre, and stumble across a busy road to cure Bond of his poisoning in Casino Royale.

Presentation:
Quantum of Solace does a fairly decent job of bringing the movie’s locations and major action sequences to life, with environments showing a lot of life and detail if not really rewarding or promoting exploration. It tells an extremely truncated version of one of the weaker Bond stories, jumping from place to place and moment to moment and assuming the player is familiar with the film before derailing things to flashback to Casino Royale. When Bond and his MI6 cohorts do appear, they all reflect the likenesses of their actors but are little more than emotionless marionettes, quickly running through key moments of the plot to get back to the action. To make matters worse, most cutscenes are simply voiceovers placed over animated menus as MI6 and Mister White review or listen in on Bond’s actions. As ever, this remains a disappointingly cheap way to advance the plot, so I generally just skipped these when allowed. On the plus side, the movie’s awful theme song is replaced by a far less grating alternative from Kerli, the classic Bond themes punctuate the action, and Bond’s death animation is delivered through the classic gun barrel sequence. Enemies are quite lively, wandering around without a care in the world and leaping into action when they spot you, diving to and shooting around cover and even climbing ladders after you. They occasionally ragdoll about, comically toppling over balconies and such, which is always fun to see. Two of my favourite moments were when the drugged Bond stumbles through Casino Royale, his vision blurred and his body woozy, and your desperate climb up a sinking building in Venice. You also Vesper through the streets, automatically alternating between armed and unarmed if civilians are about, and I was very impressed with the opera house sequence. The environment is large and ominous, with opera music echoing in the background, and Bond must carefully sneak about behind the scenes to progress.

While character models are soulless puppets, the environments are surprisingly faithful to the movies.

After recreating the ending of Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace opens with an all-out firefight at Mr. White’s luxurious estate. You start in the gardens, blasting baddies between flowerbeds, through the greenhouse, and through Mr. White’s fully stocked wine cellar. A new version of the film’s title sequence follows this and then you’re chasing Mitchell through claustrophobic caverns and across rooftops in a pretty impressive sequence as the environment is full of market stalls, drying clothes, and the sounds of football from televisions. The sinkhole mission is unremarkable by comparison though there is a section where you briefly protect Camille Montes from Greene’s goons and it leads to a Casino Royale flashback that starts with an exciting and fairly accurate recreation of the parkour sequence, with you crashing, jumping, and balancing about a construction site, and leads you into the visually unique science centre. The airport sequence is a stealth mission in the first half and a firefight in the second, with you frantically clambering up stairs to take out the would-be suicide pilot. The train mission was once of the most visually impressive as you start in the passenger carriages with Vesper and venture onto the roof during a torrential downpour, hopping to a cargo train and picking off goons as you go. While we never see the poker game, players do sneak Bond into Casino Royale, pushing laundry carts, shimmying across ledges, and using the vents to reach the spa for a firefight. The visuals take a bit of a hit on the barge, though it does add to the tension as you race to find Vesper and the Venice mission makes up for it by being in broad daylight. Like the movie, the game culminates with Bond and Camille infiltrating Greene’s impressive, ring-shaped Eco Hotel lair, which both catches fire and is rocked by explosions that force you to find alternative paths to avoid being roasted.

Enemies and Bosses:
As one of the duller James Bond movies to adapt to a videogame, Quantum of Solace features a forgettable slew of goons to mow down. While they will take cover, hunt you down, and toss grenades and their gunfire can ignite explosive barrels, their behaviour is generally predictable, and most can be put down with a few well-placed shots. If you’re spotted, they will shout for backup, generally bringing in better armed goons or perhaps guys in body armour, so it’s usually advised that you use stealth. At first, you’re just gunning down Mr. White’s bodyguards, but you do attack his helicopter to keep him from escaping, at least, and Bond can be easily put down if he runs head-first into an ambush. As you pursue Mitchell, he plants explosives and calls in goons to hold you off, with the game occasionally enforcing a “bullet time” sequence or rattling your senses when they use flash grenades. As ever, snipers can be the bane of your existence, especially at the opera house and science centre, so you’ll want to master the shimmying mini games and the sniper rifle to even the odds there. The science centre, especially, can swarm with machine gun-wielding guards if you’re not careful and the level layouts don’t always make it easy to spot who’s shooting you or from where. Even regular enemies can be troublesome on the train mission as you’re facing a strict timer to reach Vesper and they’re firing from all sides, making it easy to get caught in a crossfire. When infiltrating Greene’s Eco Hotel, you’ll encounter more of his “elite” guards (heavily-armed, armoured military types) who take a few more shots to put down. When pursuing Vesper through Venice, you’ll often get caught in a kill box as enemies bustle around courtyards and stick to the upper levels.

When you’re not taking out choppers and completing QTEs, you’re left to just gun foes down.

Sadly, boss battles are few in Quantum of Solace, with the game generally tossing in a timed challenge, a QTE, or forcing you to fend off waves of enemies either with your equipped weapons or, one time, a mounted turret. Helicopters crop up a couple of times, with you easily downing Mr. White’s chopper by blindly blasting at the cockpit and later using a convenient grenade launcher to take out another chopper at the science centre. This is a tougher objective, however, as the available cover doesn’t help much against the chopper’s guns and enemies drop in to cause you more grief. Another one pops up in the sinkhole mission, though there’s more cover and you can use a sniper rifle to target the pilot. Other bosses are reduced to simple QTE sequences that somewhat mirror the fight scenes from both movies. You battle Mitchell in a crumbling tower, for example, and machete-wielding Steven Obanno in a staircase at the Casino Royale. Naturally, you’ll want to pay attention to what’s happening as you’ll fail if you press the wrong button and you’re sometimes asked to mash a button. While Vesper’s busying drowning, Bond is jumped by Adolph Gettler, who stands there and unloads with his pistol. Since Bond is so desperate and grief-stricken, you’re only option is to take aim and fire with a nearby nail gun before you’re killed. As in the movie, Camille finishes off the depraved General Luiz Medrano, but you must shoot an explosive target to give her the chance. These same targets appear when you finally have your showdown with Greene, who wisely takes the high ground and calls in his elite guards to bombard you with gunfire. Since there’s plenty of cover and your objective is to kill Greene, and you only have forty-five seconds before the Eco Hotel explodes, you can just shoot the explosive targets to put him down and then make a break for it with Camille for a different, but equally unsatisfying ending.

Additional Features:
There are fifty Achievements in Quantum of Solace. While many are now unobtainable as the Xbox Live network is down, these are still the only reason to sit through his forgettable game as they’re pretty simple. You get Achievements for completing each chapter and four for beating each difficulty mode. You’ll get an Achievement for finding some and all cell phones, hacking every lock, scoring fifty headshots, and executing fifty takedowns. Best of all, every level features a unique Achievement tied to it to encourage a replay (easily done after clearing the game and unlocking the chapter select). These require you to use only the P99 on the train, reach the Casino Royale spa and airport server room without being spotted, destroy every overhead light in the science centre, shoot down seven satellite dishes on the rooftops of Siena, and rescue Vesper in less than two minutes on the barge. The multiplayer mode offered standard options like free-for-all-team-based combat, and capture the flag. You could pick different maps based on the game’s missions, customise weapon loadouts, choose to play as either Bond/MI6 or the mysterious “Organisation”, and fight for control of the legendary Golden Gun or to disarm bombs. You would also earn points by playing the multiplayer mode, which could be spent on weapons, gadgets, and attachments, all for additional Achievements and to add a bit more spice to your deathmatches.  

Final Thoughts:
I first played Quantum of Solace years ago as part of my research for my Master’s degree (I did an essay about James Bond videogames). The experience was so shallow and by-the-numbers that I shied away from modern James Bond videogames for many years, only playing them out of sheer morbid curiosity or content for the website. Going back to it now, it’s not as bad as some later games (mainly because Bond isn’t using his damn cell phone for everything), but it’s still a dull and ultimately forgettable experience. It’s telling that so much of the game is based around Casino Royale as Quantum of Solace just isn’t interesting enough to carry the action. The gunplay and basic mechanics are serviceable, but the weapon selection is largely uninspired and there’s not a lot of meat on its bones as it’s simply another hastily thrown together cash-in title that ends up being a poor man’s Call of Duty. I could forgive the lifeless character models if Quantum of Solace didn’t cheap out with its fancy PowerPoint cutscenes, which are just so cheap and insulting that there’s little point in paying attention to the story. There’s little incentive to explore unless you’re desperate to find all those cell phones, what few “bosses” there are are just bog standard QTEs, and you’re barely encouraged to do more than just barge through all guns blazing. It’s a shame as the environments are pretty good, especially for the time, and there’s the ghost of some decent mechanics here. Sadly, knowing these would be both convoluted and driven into the ground by subsequent Bond games only drags Quantum of Solace down further as it set a bad standard for the franchise. As ever, you’re better off sticking to the classics rather than wasting time on this one, unless you fancy boosting your Gamer Score for an affordable price.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Were you also disappointed by Quantum of Solace? Did you enjoy the Call of Duty-inspired gameplay or do you agree that it set a bad precedent for the franchise? What did you think to the stealth mechanics and gimmicks like the hacking mini game and balance beams? Did you also find the Casino Royale missions the most enjoyable? Did you ever play the multiplayer mode and, if so, how was it? Which James Bond videogame is your favourite? How are you celebrating 007 this month? Share your thoughts down below, check out my other James Bond content, and go suggest anther Bond videogame for me to review by donating to my Ko-Fi.

Game Corner: RetroRealms: Ash vs. Evil Dead & Halloween

Released: 13 September 2024
Developer: Wayforward
Metacritic Scores: 78 / 6.5; 78 / 6.4

Also Available For: Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Switch 2, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Steam, Xbox One, Xbox Series S

Quick Facts:
Despite being one of the most influential horror films of all time, John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978) has seen surprisingly little representation in videogames. Conversely, Sam Raimi’s controversial Evil Dead films (1981 to present) spawned ten videogames before the acclaimed television series merged with the Halloween franchise in this throwback release. Produced in tandem and designed to pay homage to both franchises and seemingly as a platform to showcase future works, both games were bolstered by additional downloadable content (DLC) and largely impressed.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
RetroRealms is a throwback to the classic 8- and 16-bit era, bringing two of horror’s unlikeliest franchises together for the first time. It’s certainly an odd fit, placing elements from the Evil Dead franchise into the largely grounded Halloween series rather than, say, Friday the 13th (Various, 1980 to present), but it works surprisingly well. It probably helps that both franchises are technically separated, with the collection presenting them as two cabinets in a long-abandoned arcade, though they share enemies, playable characters, and controls. No matter which game you play, you can pick between two characters (Michael Myers/The Shape and Ashley “Ash” Williams), with two more available via DLC. Non-intrusive in-game tutorials and signposts explain the mechanics and controls, which you can review from the pause menu. Every character shares the same controls, though they have different attributes and abilities to help them stand out. So, while every character attacks with X, charges a strong attack by holding X, and jumps with A, their charged move differs. Ash, for example, unloads with his “boomstick” while Myers performs a dashing stab with his trademark kitchen knife. Characters automatically clamber over ledges and can hop down by pressing down and A on certain flooring, and all progress upwards with a wall jump. You can attack upwards and in mid-air, even bouncing off them similar to the 8-bit classic DuckTales (Capcom, 1989). As you dispatch enemies, you’ll grab collectibles for cash. After clearing a World, you visit the shop to purchase upgrades and additional moves, allowing you to boost your maximum health, add combos to your attacks, and unlock fancier attacks. This adds a spinning slash to Ash’s arsenal to send heads rolling, sees him crash down on enemies with his robotic hand by pressing the Left Bumper in mid-air, and flinging his chainsaw arm upwards to extend his jump.

Hack-and-slash your way through two realms teeming with demons and Deadites alike!

Similarly, Myers unlocks a standing spin to decapitate enemies, slams on them from above with LB, or performs an upwards slash with the Right Bumper to reach higher ground escape bottomless pits. Pressing down and A when stationary performs a dash to fit in narrow vents, with characters becoming temporarily invincible as a bonus. Players also press B to enter the “Shadow Realm”, a Hellish dimension where Deadites roam, lava burns, and monstrous boils cover every surface. This lasts as long as your meter, which automatically refills, and you must switch between the two realms to reach hidden areas or progress further as some walls and platforms are intangible in different realms. You must be careful, though, as shifting realms can place you inside walls, which sets you back and costs you some health. Defeated enemies may drop partial or full refills for your health or meter and you’re granted unlimited lives, but only a single checkpoint per stage as each stage is split into two levels. You’ll also come across non-playable characters who gift you a sub-weapon, thrown with Y (though you can only hold one at a time). Ash attacks with his chainsaw and shotgun, gaining extra weapons by smashing coloured crates. These see him hurl the Kandarian dagger, toss a flaming lantern to set enemies and vicious roots alight, fire a nail gun to stun enemies, or chuck an axe. Killing innocent bystanders grants Myers similar sub-weapons, with him tossing a pitchfork or a hammer, though he also utilises a boomerang-like sickle and bolas. Each sub-weapon costs a different amount of ammo to use, which you find in crates or by slaughtering enemies, and the axe and hammer even bounce to hit multiple enemies. Both games include propane tanks to hit to take out groups of enemies and weighted pallets to release, which crush those beneath, and fire hydrants to blast enemies with a water jet. Some enemy attacks, particularly exploding gas canisters, also kill enemies and you instantly explode them into a shower of gore if you realm shift where they’re standing.

Use wind currents, avoid spikes and flaming oil, and move between realms to progress in both games.

While you mostly slaughter Deadites and escaped mental patients (and random bystanders as Myers), you’ll switch between realms more as each game progresses. This largely comes to an apex in the final World, where players wander the Deadite dimension, with previous stages mostly offering some tricky platforming challenges. Both Ash and Myers must jump to moving and temporary platforms, with some exploding beneath you and others carrying you across spike pits or bottomless drops. Vertical and horizontal wind currents push you to higher ground or carry you across larger gaps, though they also hinder you if you push against them. You’ll crash through windows, cutting through trailer homes and dilapidated cabins, leap to rickety towers, floodlights, and construction towers to progress, and uncover hidden paths by realm shifting to snag hidden goodies. Ash fights through an S-Mart Value Store, Myers clears out his family home, and both dodge and jump to falling chandeliers. Ash fights through the haunted forest, avoiding acidic water and being set upon by redneck zombies, while Myers cuts through Haddonfield, crossing huge bottomless pits caused by roadworks. Toxic gunk, acidic water, and fireballs are regular hazards but seem more prominent in Ash vs. Evil Dead, where fireballs often mess up your jumps. While rampaging through Phelps Garage, Myers slips about on oily ground that bursts into flames when enemies toss petrol canisters from the background, hazards that dog Ash as he fights through Elks Grove. Players also jump to conveyor belts, either being carried along by them, gingerly wall jumping or being carried up vertical belts, or even using them as moving platforms. Crushing hazards spell instant death in the Overlord’s castle, and you’ll be dodging spike pits and spiked walls, either by using platforms or riding wind currents, gnashing your teeth when your jumps are a single pixel off and drop you down a pit.

Presentation:
RetroRealms offers a fun, if somewhat sparse, hub world that expands as you clear Worlds. It’s a fun little 3D background to the retro stylings of both games. Neither game includes voice acting beyond anguished screams or monstrous roars, so dialogue is conveyed entirely through text. The story changes depending on who you play as, with Myers being comically silent and Ash providing snappy retorts. Ash vs. Evil Dead mostly pulls from the show’s first season, with him battling through Mossy Haven Trailer Park and even encountering Vivian Johnson, tangling with Eligos in Books from Beyond, and returning to the haunted cabin to confront Ruby Knowby, all while hacking and slashing through hordes of Deadites. Likewise, Halloween is a purely sprite-based, arcade-style adventure, featuring a chip tune rendition of the iconic theme tune and minor idle poses for the Shape, where he yanks down his mask, breathes deeply, and cocks his head inquisitively. While Myers has a larger hit box than Ash and is noticeably slower and clunkier, it’s to be expected of the Shape, who lumbers about slaughtering orderlies and Deadites alike. Blood splatters, heads roll, and bodies litter the backgrounds, with many enemies respawning once you move slightly off camera to either hinder you by sapping your health and knocking you down pits or help you by allowing you to “farm” resources. The realm gimmick is fun, essentially giving every World two skins, with the Nightmare Realm being a dimension of pure suffering and chaos. While you only spend a brief time here, it’s enough to see gaping maws, pillars of viscera and blood, rivers of lava, and hordes of Deadites lurking in the background. The Deadites are much stronger and more aggressive here, with the standard enemies constantly resurrecting, and it can be tricky discerning where you can go since everything’s so twisted and awful. It’s impressive, however, especially in the Overlord’s challenging castle. While the games run smoothly for the most part, I did experience some odd moments where the music cut out and an annoying glitch where Ruby stopped summoning demons, so I had to reset the game.

Pick your game and enter a bloody, action-packed throwback to the games of yesteryear.

After crashing through trailer park homes in Mossy Haven, splattering blood over the gaudy garden furniture and flamingo ornaments, Ash returns to the creepy woods, with the bridge, crooked trees, and even skewered bodies visible in the raging background. While his time in the iconic cabin is brief, all the weird, haunted furnishings appear and Ash’s severed hand crawls in the foreground. Deadites also tear apart military personnel and vehicles on the streets of Elks Grove. Players venture into the rusted, dilapidated Sunny Meadows Asylum, where scrawled renditions of the Necronomicon line the walls, before fighting through the wrecked laundry room and fending off vicious little Mini Ash’s. Similarly, Halloween begins in Smith’s Grove Sanatorium and sees Michael hack through guards and inmates as patients flee across the rainswept fields. Myers then rampages through a garage and junkyard before terrorising Haddonfield. A storm rages in most backgrounds, trick-or-treaters can be seen in the streets, and you’ll cut down the trespassers in Michael’s childhood home. Myers then ventures into a creepy cemetery and crematorium, passing crypts and catacombs, and wades through disgusting sewers and dilapidated tunnels. It perfectly captures the visual aesthetic of the original movie, right down to including sprite recreations of Michael’s first kill and his sister’s tombstone. When each character reaches the Overload’s castle, they’re greeted by a desolate, gothic, Hellish landscape and battle through a fully stocked dungeon, including Iron Maidens, chains, and propane tanks to clear out Deadite hordes. Huge, ominous structures, hooked chains, and gruesome bloody imagery are everywhere in this hellscape, which includes basically every previous hazard and stage gimmick. This means you’ll ride conveyor belts past crushing hazards, wall jump between and precariously hop to those same hazards, and dodge flames, acid water, and fireballs galore to reach the Overlord’s throne room.

Enemies and Bosses:
Ash’s primary enemy are those possessed by the Necronomicon, meaning he must cut down zombified trailer park trash, civilians, and lumberjacks. Most just wander about, but the ghoulish females and other variants spit phlegm and some of the possessed Value Store employees take a couple of hits to put down. Others, like the red-clothed employees and mad scientists carrying Ash puppets, explode after you deal damage, flinging you across the screen if you’re close. Ravenous little Mini Ash’s and killer dolls cling to you, stunting your jump and keeping you from attacking unless you shake them off. Michael Myers, meanwhile, cuts down guards, crazed inmates, construction workers, cops, and groundskeepers. While the inmates simply run around, security guards and other enemies toss projectiles that leave a flaming hazard on the ground, which can be aggravating. Mechanics and vagrants burst from doors and the background to charge you (which I found surprisingly difficult), gravediggers shovel up dirt, and injured bystanders crawl along the ground to whittle down your health. Naturally, players must also tangle with a host of monstrous Deadites, with projectile-firing eyeballs being a constant headache, respawing flying eyeballs screwing up your jumps, and zombie-like Deadite grunts springing to life after being put down. While the more troublesome Deadite variants are limited to the Nightmare Realm for most of the game, they do seep into the main game as you progress, with vicious spider-like Deadites charging across the ground, weird little cherubs screwing up your controls, bulbous mounds of fatty flesh sending you flying, and these weird phallic monsters spitting acid. You must also avoid flaming hazards, spike pits and walls, fireballs, acidic water, and bottomless pits, which become doubly troubling when platforms explode beneath you…or you forget to keep an eye on your meter.

Ash must put some of his old enemies back into the dirt to reach the monstrous Overlord.

At the end of each World, Ash battles a demonic entity conjured by the malicious Deadite Overlord. First, Ash’s neighbour Vivian is transformed into a gangly grotesque that scuttles about, leaving herself wide open to your pogo attack, before tricking you by hiding behind hanging sheets. When back in the cabin, players battle not Ruby Knowby, but the swarms of ghoulish Deadites she summons into the basement. Clear out each wave to damage her, taking advantage of the restorative cocktails when they appear, if necessary. After battling through Elks Grove, Ash faces a rematch against Eligos, a terrifying little demon who constantly teleports about the bookstore and tosses energy orbs. After a few hits, it returns to the store’s inner sanctum, speeding up and keeping you on your toes with spiralling lightning bolts. In the asylum, players face Evil Ash, an exact duplicate of Ash who uses the same moves and sub-weapons alongside a ground pound that can be tough to avoid. Though Evil Ash stops to laugh at you, he’s fast and hits hard, so it can be tricky to put him down. Similarly, the surprise battle against Ash’s possessed 973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale can be challenging as there’s no checkpoint before it and it takes up a lot of screen space. The axe is essential here, as is your dodge roll, and memorising the pattern of the tyres it fires. The Overlord forces you to battle the gigantic demon Kandar, who fills the background, spews fire, and slams the ground with its massive fists, causing flaming debris to fall. You must toss axes or use Ash’s chainsaw uppercut to hit the demon’s giant face, taking care to avoid as much damage as possible as the Overlord interrupts halfway through to finish the job! This sees you hopping to moving platforms over a giant pit, slashing and striking the grotesque eyeballs on the Overlord’s Kaiju-sized body and avoiding the orbs he fires, which can be tricky if you miss-time your jumps or enter the fight with low health.

Myers battles some familiar, if demonic faces, before cutting through the Overlord.

The Overlord also conjures a few fitting challenges for the maniacal Michael Myers. First, he pits Myers against the hulking Mister F, a deranged mental patient who stamps around outside the asylum, headbutting you, stomping the pavement tiles in a shockwave, and calling in the crazies to rush the screen. It’s best to keep your distance with your sub-weapons, then dash in with Myers’ charge attack, as Mister F has a large hit box. Next, the Overlord furnishes Phelps Junior with a demonic vehicle that switches between firing spikes, drilling into the ground to lure you in, rolling along with a giant wheel, and producing a shockwave with a huge weight. Regardless of the configuration, the charged jumping strike is your best bet as the vehicle can only be damaged by hitting the main cab. World 3 offers a battle against Michael’s archenemies, Doctor Samuel Loomis and Laurie Strode, with both throwing Molotov cocktails and a spread of knitting needles, respectively. While it can be tough avoiding these as Myers is so big, it’s best to focus on one enemy at a time, launching your projectile to stun or attack the other when you can. After fighting through World 4’s cemetery, Myers is finally reunited with his sister, Judith, now a gigantic, monstrous Deadite banshee who’s a fun homage to Mega Man 2 (Capcom, 1988). Accordingly, you hop to platforms as she chases you, avoiding dropping down the pit and her flame pillars, then use platforms to toss projectiles and slash at the ghoul, switching to different platforms when she sets them alight and avoiding her large flame attack. Before you battle the Overlord, he forces Myers to face a shadowy reflection of himself. Shadow Myers teleports, slashes, tosses pitchforks, and proves a troublesome foe, doubly so as you’re left to face the Overlord with whatever health you have left and must fight Shadow Myers again if you die. However, if you simply stand still, Shadow Myers will explode, making the Overlord much easier. The demonic entity floats about raining fireballs, conjuring pillars of energy, swirling fireballs about the screen, and disappearing into the darkness, but your Darkness Rising and hammer sub-weapon will make short work of him.

Additional Features:
There are fourteen Achievements in the base game for RetroRealms, twenty-three in both Ash vs. Evil Dead and Halloween, and a further seven in each game’s DLC, for a total of seventy-four Achievements! You’ll get Achievements for simply loading the game, trying to exit the arcade, viewing the credits, watching the developer videos, buying a souvenir, or viewing a diorama. Achievements pop when you clear each World, use each character’s charge attack 100 times, using each sub-weapon in different ways, pogo off enemies, and kill a certain number of enemies, or visit the Nightmare Realm 300 times. Additional Achievements pop if you finish a stage without your weapons in any way, quickly defeating bosses or Worlds, and for finding every collectible. Each World has three pages of the Necronomicon or three jack-o’-lanterns to find that are tallied for this Achievement, though you’ll also find tickets to purchase souvenirs in the hub world. You can compare your times and scores against others using the online leaderboards (though there’s no online play here) and get some fun collector’s cards and all the DLC if you buy the physical version, which adds Laurie and Kelly Maxwell as playable characters. Each has similar Achievements tied to them (use sub-weapons, clear Worlds, be active for 300 minutes, etc), alters the dialogue and the story (Laurie’s trying to rescue Tommy Doyle from the Overlord, for example), and has different attributes and sub-weapons. Kelly attacks with a meat cleaver, giving her a shorter reach than Ash, but makes up for it with a machine gun as her charged move, which can be fired in multiple directions, and using a rocket launcher in place of an uppercut. Laurie attacks with knitting needles, firing them in a spread as her charged attack, has a handy double jump and a ground dash, and is smaller, faster, but weaker than Myers. Both have similar sub-weapons to each other and compared to the main game, though they have unique items that let them slow down enemies for a short time and Kelly gets a flaming shield to protect her.

Final Thoughts:
I was excited for RetroRealms when I first heard of it as I’m a sucker for retro throwback titles, especially hack-and-slash games, and a big fan of both franchises. While it is really weird seeing these two worlds collide, I got over it pretty quickly and found it amusing seeing Michael Myers basically ignore everything the Overlord says and go on a rampage! It was super fun revisiting locations from Ash vs. Evil Dead but, as I haven’t watched the show for a while, it was World 2 that stuck with me the most as you return to the infamous forest and enter the iconic haunted cabin, a location sadly underutilised here. The star of the show, for me, was Halloween, since the franchise has far less videogame adaptations compared to Evil Dead. Halloween does a fantastic job of adapting the first film into this surreal narrative, recreating key locations and even splicing in elements from other films, such as a mechanic resembling “Big Joe” Grizzly from the 2007 remake (though there’s sadly no reality TV stars in the Myers house). While platforming can be clunky and challenging due to Myers’ size, it was extremely satisfying hacking heads off and slicing through innocents and Deadites alike. The bosses were very fun, particularly the battle against Dr. Loomis and Laurie and Shadow Myers, being just the right level of challenge. While it’s frustrating taking damage, being knocked down a pit, or trapping yourself in a wall, it’s all very much in the spirit of old school games like the Castlevania (Konami/Various, 1986 to present), Mega Man (Capcom/Various, 1987 to present), and Metroid (Various, 1986 to present) videogames. I really enjoyed the realm-shifting gimmick, to the point where I kind of wish the games included a hard or alternative mode where you primarily play in the Nightmare Realm, and the gruesome imagery and bloody effects. The sprite work and environments are all fantastically well realised, especially in Halloween, and the gameplay was tight and responsive, with the games providing just enough challenge to keep you going without being too frustrating. I’d love to see more franchises added to the RetroRealms arcade but, as is, these were really fun, bite-sized offerings that brought a smile to my face.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Which of the two games included in the RetroRealms arcade was your favourite? Were you surprised to see these two franchises mashed together like this? Did you enjoy cutting Deadites up as Ash? Did you also struggle to fight his Oldsmobile? What did you think to the sprite reaction of Halloween? Did you enjoy the fight against Dr. Loomis and Laurie? Did you ever find all the collectibles and purchase every souvenir? Which horror franchise would you like to see remade in this way? What horror-theme videogames are you playing this Halloween? Whatever your thoughts on these games, drop a comment below, check out my other horror content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Evil Dead and Halloween reviews.

Game Corner: Hellboy: The Science of Evil (Xbox 360)

Released: 24 June 2008
Developer: Krome Studios

Metacritic Scores: 44 /2.8
Also Available For: PlayStation 3 and PlayStation Portable (PSP)

Quick Facts:
Having brought his trademark gothic art style to both independent and mainstream comics, monster-loving artist and comic creator Mike Mignola got his big break in 1993 with the distinctively Lovecraftian Hellboy, whose first live-action venture became an instant cult classic. Hellboy’s first jump to videogames was a poorly reviewed bomb and, despite roping in the creative forces behind the first feature films, The Science of Evil didn’t fare much better and was almost universally lambasted for its poor graphics and gameplay.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Hellboy: The Science of Evil is a third-person hack-and-slash (more of a “bash-and-smash” thanks to Hellboy’s signature Right Hand of Doom) that primarily follows Hellboy’s quest to track down a malicious witch but which features flashbacks to his earlier cases and run-ins with Nazi forces and ends with him confronting crazed Nazi commandant Herman von Klempt at his gothic castle. While the developers may have hoped to make something akin to the Devil May Cry (Capcom/Ninja Theory, 2001 to present) and God of War franchises (Various, 2005 to 2024), they instead lumbered players with a repetitive brawler that features no skill tree to expand upon, few collectibles, and a far too short campaign mode that drags out its runtime with mindless brawling and dodgy platforming. Players make Hellboy (or his allies, fishman Abraham “Abe” Sapien and pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman in the co-op multiplayer mode) jump with A (holding it to jump higher and tapping it to clamber over ledges) and attack with X (for quick, light strikes) and Y (for heavier strikes or hold it for charged “Boom” attacks that stun enemies). You can dive roll by pressing A and X together (though its use as a dodge is negligible), perform a jumping strike or ground pound (at the cost of some energy), and grapple with the Right Trigger. You can then pummel and toss enemies or instantly kill them with B if you have enough energy. If knocked down, you must tap Y to recover and you must also do this if you respawn after a death. There are no lives here and plenty of checkpoints, and Hellboy’s health automatically refills after a short time (or if you perform a jumping ground slam). Smashing enemies or the environment sees you collecting blue energy to fill your meter, which lets you instantly kill enemies and perform some moves, and you’ll extend this meter by finding artefacts in each area.

Whether playing alone or in co-op, the action quickly becomes tedious and repetitive.

You shoot Hellboy’s versatile handgun, the Samaritan, with the Left Trigger. Although you can freely aim with the right stick, I wouldn’t recommend this as the aiming reticle is as tricky and unreliable as the grapple, which often failed to register my inputs. Hellboy can shoot lots of ammo types, with some being more effective against certain enemies, from regular rounds and the shotgun-like shots to grenades, flame rounds, and magic crystals. You cycle between these with the Left Bumper and collect ammo from crates dotted (or hidden) about, repeatedly tapping RT until your ammo is full. When your energy is full, you can enter “Hellmode” by pressing in both control sticks. This temporarily boosts your speed and attack power or unleashes a flaming shockwave, though I found this to be relatively useless as it doesn’t last long. Hellboy can also grab various weapons (barrels, stone slabs, massive warhammers, drainpipes, swords, and such) to use or throw at enemies. Though these are great for crowd control, can light lanterns or defeat certain foes, and will stun larger enemies, they break pretty quickly. Performing your grapple finish on certain enemies disarms them, gifting you a unique weapon like a machine gun or an exploding round, and you can execute a few basic combos by mashing different combinations of X and Y. However, most enemies take a hell of a beating and continuously swarm the area, to the point where I often felt like the game was glitching. Different enemy types attack each other, which is helpful, and a friend can help you out in the co-op mode, but combat becomes very tedious very quickly as it’s primarily slow, uninteresting punching. It might’ve been nice if you gained experience points to trade in for some fun new moves, like spewing hellfire or some kind of spinning attack, or could upgrade Hellboy’s Hellfire mode to see him go on a rampage as Anung Un Rama. Instead, you’re left with the same moveset for the whole game, with Hellboy acquiring new ammo and little else.

Puzzles and combat often boil down to mashing the same buttons or performing the same actions.

There are no difficulty modes here, though you can enable “friendly fire” to make co-op more frustrating interesting. The game is divided into six chapters, each containing a handful of sub-chapters and asking you to follow a fairly linear path. Along the way, you’re beset by enemies you can largely ignore unless a “ghost barrier” blocks your way. In these instances, you must defeat all nearby enemies to dispel the barrier. Other times, you must cut through ghost tentacles with a special crystalline sword or blast them with your crystal rounds. Occasionally, you activate levers to open gates, stop toxic gas spewing into the arena, or create new walkways. You do this by holding RT and tapping X, which is the go-to method for every “puzzle”. Spot a glowing wall? RT+X to smash through it. Path blocked by fallen trees, rocks, or stalled vehicles? RT+X to clear them. Need to ring a giant bell or push over a column to make a path? RT+X. You get the picture, I’m sure. The game gives the illusion of offering side quests by having Hellboy interact with corpses who ask him to do a task for them to open gates or doors. These generally amount to smashing up some enemies and, you guessed it, holding RT and tapping X. Cursed graves endlessly spawn enemies in the first chapter, but they’re easily destroyed with exploding Bambini heads. Enchanted coffins also appear here, though your “release” ammo will remove their threat and allow you to RT+X to open them for such rewards as…nothing or some ammo. While platforming challenges are light, they’re annoying due to the useless camera, which often switches to different perspectives and angles to screw up your controls. Chapter two introduces the lantern mechanic, where you must light torches and get rid of gnarled roots blocking your path, but this is more aggravating than fun as you must often backtrack for torches. Chapter four also sees you hurling frog monsters down pits to light torches and open gates.

Presentation:
I was somewhat optimistic about Hellboy: The Science of Evil when I heard Marco Beltrami’s Hellboy (Del Toro, 2004) theme on the main menu and saw that Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, and Doug Jones were reprising their film roles. However, the game has a very confused identity and isn’t sure if it’s a movie tie-in, a spin-off from the comics, or something else entirely. While Hellboy looks and sounds like he does in the film, this world seems very different and closer to the comic books, being full of witches, ghosts, zombies, and other supernatural threats. While Hellboy’s stone arm lights up and even bursts into flame, and he adopts different outfits for each chapter, he has no idle poses and repeats the same one-liners and nonsensical statements throughout the game. There are no pre-rendered cutscenes and, strangely, barely any story. There’s some text between chapters and a handful of cutscenes that use the in-game models, but I was very confused about what was happening as there’s no real introduction, chapters abruptly end and jump to the past with little explanation, and the game essentially has no ending, either, as Hellboy’s just blasted into the water after defeating the final boss and the credits roll! I didn’t play in co-op so I have no idea if Abe and Liz appear in cutscenes, but it seems like they don’t, which is weird, and the story felt very disconnected and slapped together to me. This was a shame as it could’ve taken more inspiration from the source material or even retold key moments from the first movie to better tie things together. While the game performs relatively well, I did have some odd moments where the camera got stuck, Hellboy wouldn’t build energy, and the music cut out or oddly looped.

The visual style is somewhere between the comics and the first film, making for a confused game.

While you visit various locations and time periods in Hellboy: The Science of Evil, they’re all very drab and repetitive but I give the game kudos for evoking the dark, gothic aesthetic of the comics over the slightly more polished and sci-fi-esque presentation of the first film. You begin in the Carpathian Mountains of 2007 Romania, smashing your way through a mausoleum and emerging in a crooked, foreboding graveyard full of crypts, gravestones, gnarled trees, and dishevelled woods. A cauldron of bats often swarms in doorways or as you enter new areas, which serve as the calling card of the crazed witch Hellboy’s pursuing, and you’ll find crypts home to loquacious skeletons, a sentient gate who demands a password, and flame pits in dank caverns. Chapter two flashes back twenty-three years to a misty forest in Japan, where Hellboy follows a magical kitsune, encounters a mysterious, isolated monk who offers some exposition, and follows snaking cobblestone paths and fights through a bamboo forest. Pagodas are dotted about and this is where you experience how destructible much of the environment is, though it largely amounts to building your energy meter and discovering the odd collectible. Chapter three returns you to Romania, depositing you in an abandoned village beset by a thunderstorm. I liked the rain effect and lightning flashes and fighting in the narrow streets and on the precarious rooftops in this area. You also detour through a house to encounter a tortured suicide victim and eventually land in some dank catacombs home to disgusting frog monsters. This sewer-like area is alive with slimy egg sacs and razor-sharp tentacles (which helpfully target enemies), scurrying rats, and vaguely Lovecraftian statues. Chapter five flashes back to 1967 Tunisia, where you battle Nazi zombies in the ruins of an archaeological dig, smashing apart their camps, odd crystalline growths, and crashing through ruins. You end up in von Klempt’s gothic castle, a distinctly Mignolaian setting full of 1930s style laboratory equipment, Nazi paraphernalia, and the leftovers of their atrocious experiments with the occult.

Enemies and Bosses:
While there are only a handful of enemy types in Hellboy: The Science of Evil and the game is more likely to toss mini bosses at you and quickly make them regular enemies than wow you with big, action-packed boss battles, most enemies are somewhat unique to their chapter to give each setting a distinct personality (though they all show up in chapter six). At first, you’re beset by pigmy-like Bambinis, mischievous little imps who toss their explosive heads and scamper all over you. They’re relatively harmless unless they clamber onto your back; I had trouble working out how to throw them off before they drained my health. A slightly bigger variant wielding a chain also shows up and the Bambinis chip away at you as you face a pack of werewolves (though these guys look more fearsome than they are and simply swipe, howl, and bite). In Japan, you battle spear-carrying kabuki warriors (whose weapons can be stolen to light lanterns) and encounter troll-like oni, who guard against your attacks, bash your head in with their large metal clubs., and push you back with a sonic blast. You also battle katana carrying demons who swipe and charge with their blades. These guys introduce a mechanic where you must stun them, grapple them, and hit Y to counter their attacks, mash X to pummel, and finish them off with B when prompted. This strategy works on the giant Bambinis (who tackle you, toss exploding Bambini heads, and grab you and throw you into walls), the horned frog monsters, and the cybernetically enhanced apes you later encounter. You fight frog monsters in the sewers (through they’re easily tossed onto spikes) and various Nazi zombies. These guys can take a hell of a beating in chapter five and wield machine guns, electrifying blade arms, grenade launchers, and even these weird, steampunk-esque buzzsaw weapons!

Bosses are as disappointing as the gameplay and lack the visual spectacle I’d expect from the license.

Hellboy constantly encounters a witch in Romania. Each encounter takes place in a different arena but is essentially the same, with her always teleporting as a cloud of bats and tossing exploding Bambini heads. You must throw these (or other objects) back to send her packing and, in the final battle with the witch, you chase her to the rafters and finally corner her in the church attic, where you can get close enough to hit her. Hellboy’s hounded by a volatile cyborg ape…thing in chapter two and is trapped inside a pagoda with it at the chapter’s end. The large ape is deceptively fast with its leap and charge and has a hell of a reach thanks to its mechanical arms (which it fires and swings on chains). If you get too close, it grabs you and throws you about and, instead of fighting it, you attack pillars to drop down a few floors and eventually bring the whole structure down on it. Variations on this enemy appear in chapter six, with one surprising you on a narrow castle wall (however, I fled back and it seemed to despawn!) Chapter four ends with you dispatching some frog monsters and their horned giants, eventually destroying the central chamber of their lair, while chapter five culminates in a more aggravating boss battle against a large, Lovecraftian worm-thing. In the first phase, you must avoid the Nazis swarming the chamber and toss crystals at its mouth when it roars, then use RT+X on the nearby pillars to blast it with lasers. In the second phase, ignore the Nazis and attack with your unbreakable flaming sword, dodging its whipping tentacles to put it down. The game’s final boss is a demon unleashed by von Klempt that’s essentially fought like other giant enemies. You must stay away to avoid being pounded or eaten and dodge its erratic mouth laser, using any nearby debris to stun it or unloading with combos and your gun. Eventually, it’s joined by frog monsters and toxic gas and you must grab von Klempt’s floating cybernetic torso to finish it off, but this was a lacklustre end to a disappointingly mediocre game.

Additional Features:
There are twenty-seven Achievements in Hellboy: The Science of Evil, with one awarded each time you complete a chapter. You can also kill twenty-five enemies with different weapons for some more, kick fifty Bambini heads for another, and toss fifty enemies onto spikes for another. Every chapter hides a hidden artifact and finding each nets you another six Achievements (then a seventh for finding them all). Fall off a cliff twenty times for an Achievement and invent time travel to go back to when Xbox Live was a thing to snag two more for finishing a multiplayer chapter with Ape and Liz. Artifacts and lore that boost your energy gauge are hidden in each chapter  and playing through the game unlocks behind the scenes extras, interviews, and artwork. Completing each chapter unlocks it for you to replay from the main menu and finishing the game allows you to replay the main campaign with all the extra energy and ammo you’ve found. Although there was downloadable content planned where you’d play as Lobster Johnson and Achievements were programmed for this, it never released (not that you’d be able to get it now, or that I imagine it would’ve been that good!)

Final Thoughts:
I’m a big fan of the Hellboy movies, and the character (despite not having read many of his adventures) so I was excited to get into Hellboy: The Science of Evil. Since it’s only tangentially related to the films and released soon after the first movie, I had high hopes it’d avoid the stigma of movie tie-in games. Unfortunately, this really was one of the most disappointing, barebones, cash grab licensed games I’ve ever played. There’s barely any story here and no effort put into any of the cutscenes or even the script, with Ron Perlman muttering statements that seem strangely disconnected to what’s happening and the game seemingly failing to tie into the films or the comics. While Hellboy looks great and the environments are okay, evoking both the movie and Mike Mignola’s distinctive art style, nothing interesting happens with the character or where he goes and the game just feels like a series of events loosely tied together. The combat is so boring and gets old super fast. With no skill tree or additional combos or attacks to learn, Hellboy feels underpowered and frustratingly limited. If the developers were aiming for something akin to a Devil May Cry or God of War title then they missed the mark by a wide margin with the slow, lumbering combat and unsatisfying gunplay. The puzzles were a joke, with every solution to any problem simply being to hold RT and tap X until you win. The quick-time-event-like moments with bigger enemies and bosses were as finnicky as the camera angles and the grab, leading to some frustrating moments. The bosses were laughable as well, with only one offering something more than what you’d get from a larger enemy, and the collectibles and replay value were sub-standard, at best. I’d say this one’s only worth playing if you can get it cheap (a tall order these days) but you’re better off sticking to the Devil May Cry or God of War games for a satisfying hack-and-slash adventure.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Are you a fan of Hellboy: The Science of Evil? If so…why? Were you disappointed that the game didn’t have more to do with the movies and comics? Would you have liked to see more unlockable combos and attacks? Which of the bosses and ammo types as your favourite? Did you ever play the game in co-op? Which Hellboy videogame is your favourite? Leave me a like and drop a comment below, then donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Released: 11 July 2008
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $82.5 to 85 million
Box Office: $168.3 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 86% / 71%

Quick Facts:
Despite Hellboy (del Toro, 2004) being an instant cult classic, development of a sequel stalled due to distributor issues. Working alongside Hellboy creator Mike Mignola, director Guillermo del Toro crafted an original story based more on folklore than the source material and utilised intricate practical effects, puppetry, and make-up courtesy of Spectral Motion and Filmefex. Accompanied by various tie-in media, Hellboy II was widely praised but hopes for a spin-off and a third film were ultimately dashed in favour of a reboot.

The Review:
Set about a year after Hellboy/Anung Un Rama (Ron Perlman) and his fellow monsters and humans at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (B.P.R.D.) stopped a Lovecraftian threat from destroying the world, things have changed slightly in Hellboy’s life. He’s now in a relationship with fellow B.P.R.D. agent and pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman (Selma Blair) and overseen by the fastidious Doctor Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), who’s exhausted with Hellboy’s belligerent attitude and disrespect for authority. Yes, all that time the previous film spent setting up Agent John Myers (Rupert Evans) as Hellboy’s new carer is thrown out the window for a throwaway gag and Hellboy’s relationship with Manning is antagonistic again, with Manning exasperated at constantly having to cover up news reports and sightings of Hellboy. Hellboy still keeps his late adopted father, Professor Trevor Bruttenholm/Professor Broom (John Hurt), close to heart, fondly remembering childhood stories of King Balor (Roy Dotrice), king of the elves, his legendary, indestructible Golden Army, and the shaky truce King Balor forged between mythical creatures and humanity, which drove his son, Prince Nuada Silverlance (Luke Goss), into exile in disgust. Hellboy also still opposes the forces of darkness but continues to long for the spotlight, frustrated at being cooped up at B.R.P.D. headquarters and longing to be among the people he’s pledged to protect. While Manning generally placates Hellboy with treats like Cuban cigars, Hellboy openly mocks Manning’s orders and takes little heed in staying hidden, resulting in him dramatically revealing himself while he, Liz, and psychic Ichthyo sapien Abraham “Abe” Sapien (Doug Jones) investigate a mysterious massacre at an auction house, one that saw ravenous tooth fairies devour everyone present so Prince Nuada could retrieve part of his father’s lost golden crown.

When Hellboy’s longing for the spotlight backfires, he finds himself torn between two worlds.

Hellboy’s just as arrogant, irresponsible, and childish as ever, despite now being with Liz. She despairs of his cats, his oafish ways, and his longing to be liked and accepted by all, resulting in some tension between them as Hellboy can’t figure out what he’s done wrong. Unaware that Liz’s emotions are all over the place due to her being pregnant, Hellboy tries to win her over with his wit and recklessness, coming up short each time and leading to a drunken heart-to-heart between him and Abe after Abe falls for Prince Nuada’s sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton), and experiences his own troubles with emotion. Although Hellboy gets his wish to be in the spotlight and is initially elated to be exposed, Liz is uncomfortable with being gawked at and even Hellboy is disturbed by how the public reacts to him as they later openly hate and fear him even when he’s doing good. Hellboy feels far more comfortable in the hidden troll market, a bizarre underworld inhabited by all manner of creatures, and finds himself conflicted when Prince Nuada sics the gargantuan forest god upon him and tempts Hellboy with abandoning humanity in favour of monsters. Thanks to Professor Broom’s teachings, Hellboy stays the course, which leads to greater physical and emotional pain when the public angrily reject him and Prince Nuada mortally wounds him, forcing Liz to condemn the world to an eventual fiery end at Hellboy’s hands to save him. Hellboy is amazed to learn that he’s to “become father”, having clearly never expected that he would fulfil his beloved adopted father’s role, but is so eager to embrace the task that he quits the B.R.P.D. once the threat to the world has ended. As ever, Ron Perlman is a joy in this role, portraying Hellboy as a lovable goof who’s a little too full of himself at times, and who’s trying to do his best. He doesn’t necessarily like taking out his “own kind”, however, and is sympathetic to both sides as he walks both worlds, but always defends what is morally right for the majority in the end.

While Liz is as bland as ever, Abe shines in the spotlight faces his own romantic crisis.

Although she clearly has far better control of her powers (and better fire CGI to boot), Liz is still the weak link thanks to Selma Blair’s awkwardly wooden and vapid performance. She has no chemistry with Hellboy, or anyone for that matter, and it’s easy to forget about her or dislike her due to her temper tantrums. Despite being pregnant, she doesn’t have much to do and only really comes to the forefront when bringing the injured Hellboy to the Angel of Death (Doug Jones) to barter for his life, reversing their positions from the last film as she’s the one condemning the Earth to an apocalypse by saving her lover. On the plus side, Abe has a much larger role this time, first in accidentally discovering Liz’s pregnancy and then in how he instantly falls for Princess Nuala. While his psychic abilities, intuition, maturity, and intellect make Abe a far less volatile character than Hellboy, he’s still bashful about his feelings and struggles to express them. Hellboy tries to help him with beer and love songs, but Abe’s connection to Princess Nuala is mainly realised through their shared psychic powers. Abe is fiercely protective of Princess Nuala, despite being outmatched by Prince Nuada and his troll-like henchman, Mister Wink (Brian Steele), and somewhat compromises Hellboy’s ability to fight as any damage done to Prince Nuada is mirrored on Princess Nuala (and vice versa). This comes to a head when Prince Nuada effectively takes his sister hostage and threatens to harm her in return for the final piece of the golden crown, something Abe willingly hands over despite it meaning Prince Nuada will be able to send the Golden Army against humanity. Abe reasons that Hellboy made a similar decision to forsake the world for love in the last movie but is noticeably more naïve regarding his intentions and the trustworthiness of Prince Nuada, who never considered peace between the worlds an option.

Johann’s officious nature sees him clash with Hellboy, who struggles with the morality of his job.

Thanks to Hellboy’s recklessness, the B.R.P.D. are joined by the officious Doctor Johann Krauss (James Dodd, John Alexander, and Seth MacFarlane), a German spectre housed in a special containment suit who’s brought in to bring some order to the team. While Manning is impressed by Johann and takes every opportunity to kiss his ass, Hellboy is apathetic towards his new superior, who regards him as insubordinate, brutish, and boorish. Despite being little more than mist, Johann is more than just an intellectual as he can possess inanimate objects and even the legendary Golden Army to overwhelm foes, with this ability giving the team the leads they need to track down Prince Nuada. While we only get a vague hint towards his backstory, Johann is seen to be a very by-the-book official with little sentiment towards endangered creatures like the forest god. His concern is to the mission and the safety of humanity, though his conduct and appearance mean few give him the respect he feels he deserves. An emotional outburst from Liz triggers a core memory in Johann that sees him willingly defy orders and accompany the others to the Giant’s Causeway to save Hellboy and find Prince Nuada, and he also quits the B.R.P.D. alongside Hellboy, Abe, and Liz after rediscovering his humanity and compassion. Johann seems nonplussed at the public’s reaction towards him but is equally out of his element in the troll market, where he’s explicitly ignored by the locals. Few of these colourful creatures are forthcoming with aid towards Hellboy and the others, however, requiring physical coercion to give up clues or, in the case of the legless Bethmoora Goblin (John Alexander), a trinket to offer help.

A complex villain, Prince Nuada desperately wants to reclaim a world who beauty has been ruined by humanity.

Returning from a self-imposed exile, Prince Nuada has only grown more disgusted with humanity, whom he sees as weak, violent, and ignorant to the fantastical nature of the world. While he loves his father, Prince Nuada is repulsed by the old elf clinging to ways long forgotten by mankind and seeks to remind them of what dwells in the shadows and beneath their feet, regretfully murdering King Balor to kick-start his search for the golden crown. Despite his convictions, Prince Nuada is deeply devoted to his sister, with the two of them sharing a psychic bond and feeling each other’s pain. Even his love for Princess Nuala isn’t enough to keep Prince Nuada from slaughtering those in his way using either henchmen like Mr. Wink or creatures like the tooth fairies, or his own adept skills with a sword or spear. While Hellboy is brutish and undisciplined, Prince Nuada moves like the wind, deftly defying gravity and moving with a grace and speed that is as deadly as it is beautiful. Crucially, Prince Nuada isn’t some cackling villain; he’s deeply offended that his kind have been forgotten and wishes only for his people to rise from the shadows once more. He genuinely offers Hellboy and Abe a place in his new kingdom and is dismayed when they reject him, kill his underlings, and side with the humans, who he feels are dishonourable and unworthy of the world. Prince Nuada’s link with his sister gives him an edge, allowing him to track her, uncover the golden crown, and use her as leverage to hold off Hellboy’s attacks, but he’s more than capable of defending himself, refusing to yield even in defeat. His goal is the Golden Army, “70×70” mechanical warriors that near-instantly repair any damage and form the most formidable army ever conceived, one so awesome that it terrified even King Balor and saw him repent his destructive crusade, one that Prince Nuada seeks to resume.

A fantastic emphasis on practical effects and puppets makes this world more vibrant and tangible than ever.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is a triumph of practical effects and puppetry. Hellboy looks as great as ever lumbering about in his big trenchcoat and exuded a surprising amount of humanity behind the demonic make-up, and Abe remains disturbingly beautiful with his fish-like appearance. I liked the steampunk vibes of Johann’s containment suit, which also cropped up in the troll market and in Mr. Wink, a hulking brute who sports a detachable mechanical fist. Mr. Wink is almost a dark mirror of Hellboy, being brutish and stubborn and attacking first rather than thinking things through, which leads to his undoing. The movie places far more emphasis on the fantastical nature of Hellboy’s world, spotlighting trolls, goblins, and other forgotten mythical creatures that lurk beneath the city streets. Each is brought to life using intricate and impressive practical effects and animatronics, with Doug Jones lending his unique physicality to roles like the slender Chamberlain and the disturbing, gaunt Angel of Death, a skeletal figure with tattered dark wings sporting eyeballs! Brian Steele should also be commended for his work as the Fragglewump and other roles, while the forest elemental brought the fantasy world into the city streets with a beautiful, tragic appearance that sees Hellboy forced to blow its “brains” out, its carcass growing grass and wildflowers across the concrete jungle. Hellboy busts out a massive hand cannon to begrudgingly do this, though has surprisingly few other new toys. Hellboy still largely relies on his sidearm, massive stone fist, and a bit of luck and adaptability to get through most fights. He’s overpowered by Mr. Wink, for example, but smartly tricks the troll into getting his chain-fist stuck in a grinder. However, Hellboy’s tendency to hit first and think or ask questions later is easily exploited by Johann, who amusingly possesses some lockers to humble Hellboy, and sees him outclassed by the far more skilled Prince Nuada.

Though Hellboy stops Prince Nuada, the cost is high and he decides to rethink his priorites.

Thanks to his psychic bond with his sister, Prince Nuada infiltrates the B.R.P.D. and critically wounds Hellboy, taking Princess Nuala hostage to force them to bring him the last crown piece. An unexpected assist from Johann sees Hellboy saved and he, Liz, Abe, and Johann defy Manning’s orders and travel to the Giant’s Causeway, where the Angel of Death heals Hellboy ahead of them being led to the abandoned resting place of the Golden Army. Though shocked when Abe willingly hands over the crown piece, Hellboy and the others quickly focus on fending off the reactivated mechanical warriors, initially seeming to have a chance against the Golden Army before the group sees the robots piece themselves back together. As the only way to stop the Golden Army is for a suitable challenger to dispute Prince Nuada’s claim to them, Hellboy flaunts his status as Anung Un Rama to challenge Prince Nuada, promising Abe to leave the disgruntled elf alive to safeguard Princess Nuala. The two battle atop an elaborate clockwork set, hopping to giant moving cogs that threaten to crush them, with Hellboy being clearly outclassed by the agile prince, who bests him at every turn. However, Hellboy’s craftiness sees him catch Prince Nuada from behind and overpower him, bringing him to his knees. Though Prince Nuada demands to be executed and promises to never stop his quest to destroy the human world, Hellboy retrieves the crown and is happy to leave him alive but defeated, only for the prince to try stabbing Hellboy in the back. Thus, Princess Nuala’s forced to kill herself to stop her brother, the two dying regretfully and somewhat emotionally in Hellboy and Abe’s arms, respectively. After Liz melts the crown and the group returns to the surface, they make a point to resign from the B.P.R.D., sick of the conflict between man and monster, and Hellboy prepares to start a new life with Liz and their forthcoming twins.

Final Thoughts:
Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an absolutely gorgeous movie. Guillermo del Toro’s focus on practical effects and puppets gives every character, no matter how abnormal, a real weight and believability that is often missing from modern Hollywood. This also allows the CGI to blend far better and to make everything feel very tactile and real, increasing the stakes for the protagonists and presenting a rich world hidden behind modern society. While my experience with Hellboy’s comics is very limited, Hellboy II feels much more like a Guillermo del Toro film with its focus on the fantastical and mythological, weaving them into Hellboy’s world in a way that makes perfect sense and tests the unlikely hero as he must choose between saving a world that hates and despises him or embracing a world where he can freely be a monster. Hellboy remains one of Ron Perlman’s greatest roles and I really liked how the character struggled with the moral ambiguity of his mission, and with trying to figure out his woman and embrace a new, unexpected destiny as a father. Selma Blair remains as bland and uninteresting as ever, but I liked the extra focus on Abe and his own difficulties with emotion, and the fun antagonism between Johann and other others, which led to some amusing moments. Luke Goss was mesmerising as the tragic Prince Nuada, a villain whose motivations are entirely justified and who presents a significant challenge for Hellboy by simply being a better fighter. He’s also got a great deal of depth, truly loving his sister and their kind and regretful that it’s come to war, and convincingly tests Hellboy’s convictions. It still annoys me that we never got a conclusion for these characters and this world as I would’ve loved to see where Guillermo del Toro took them next, but I’m forever grateful that we got Hellboy II, which showcases just how creative and awe-inspiring cinema can be.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Hellboy II: The Golden Army? Did you like that Abe got more of the spotlight? Were you also amazed by the practical effects and animatronics? Do you think Prince Nuada had a point? Were you also disappointed we never got a third film? What are some of your favourite Hellboy stories? Share your thoughts on Hellboy II in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night [Bat-Month]: Batman (1966)


Since his first appearance in the pages of Detective Comics, Bruce Wayne/Batman has become a pop culture icon. September celebrates “Batman Day”, the perfect excuse to celebrate this grim and broody vigilante.


Released: 30 July 1966
Director: Leslie H. Martinson
Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Budget: $1.378 million
Box Office: $3.9 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 80% / 62%

Quick Facts:
Between 1966 and 1968, Batman took audiences by storm with its sardonic wit and camp action, cementing star Adam West as one of the most iconic versions of the character. Executive producer William Dozier wanted a feature film to hype the first season, using the increased budget to debut some fun new Bat-vehicles. Though Julie Newmar was replaced by Lee Meriwether and the show’s popularity eventually declined, this surprisingly faithful adaptation of the comics remains a celebrated cult classic.

The Review:
Released a mere two months into the first series, Batman (or Batman: The Movie) is a gloriously camp, ridiculously colourful and bonkers action/adventure that, rather than provide a definitive origin for Bruce Wayne/Batman (Adam West) and his youthful ward, Richard “Dick” Grayson/Robin (Burt Ward), is largely an excuse to use the heightened budget to film a bunch of stock footage for the television show. Although the classic Batman theme song is absent in the strictest sense, recycled for a traditional film score, and Catwoman (who takes the alias Kitanya “Kitka” Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff/Miss Kitka) is portrayed by Lee Meriwether, Batman’s most colourful rogues are represented in all their madcap glory for easily their most ludicrous and ambitious plan yet. The Joker (Cesar Romero), Oswald Cobblepott/The Penguin (Burgess Meredith), Edward Nygma/The Riddler (Frank Gorshin), and Catwoman form the “United Underworld” of super criminals. Despite often bickering, jostling for authority, and seeking to one-up each other’s wacky schemes, they unite with two mutual goals: destroy Batman and Robin (preferably using one of the Penguin’s many exploding marine animals) and kidnap delegates from the United World Organization’s Security Council (including Albert Carrier, Gregory Gaye, Maurice Dallimore, and Teru Shimada) in a bid for world domination. Their plot to carry out this dastardly act is ridiculously simple: fool the Dynamic Duo with an elaborate holographic projection and kidnap Commodore Schmidlapp (Reginald Denny), keeping him placated so they can steal and repurpose his genius “Total Dehydrator”, a device which removes all moisture from a victim’s body, reducing them to dust and storing them as “light water” to be rehydrated later.

Death traps, nonsensical riddles, and mid-day traffic are easily overcome by the highly capable Dynamic Duo.

Initially, Batman, Robin, Commissioner James “Jim” Gordon (Neil Hamilton), and Police Chief O’Hara (Stafford Repp) are baffled by the methods used by the villains. Eventually, however, their worst fears come true when they realise that the four supervillains have joined forces. Yet, while Batman easily solves the the Riddler’s absurdly convoluted riddles, our heroes are often stumped by the quadruple threat. Rather than cause mass panic, Batman downplays the incident to the Gotham City press and investigates further, using outrageous leaps in logic to figure out how the villains fooled them and who their next target is. Batman is comically capable here, easily the smartest person in the room and yet continually encouraging others (especially Robin) to figure out clues for themselves to reach his bonkers conclusions. Batman and Robin are said to be “fully deputised members of the police” and regularly operate in the daytime and with the full cooperation of the police and the public, who regard them with reverence that borders on awe. Thus, Vice Admiral Fangschleister (Milton Frome) is initially elated to receive a phone call from Batman regarding the sale of a nuclear submarine and then disheartened to learn he was duped into selling it to “P. N. Guin”. Batman also has a bat-branded gadget or device for every occasion, easily fending off exploding sharks, deflecting missiles, and traversing the city by car, helicopter, or boat. In a world full of vibrant pantomime villains, Batman and Commissioner Gordon play things deathly straight. Adam West delivers every line with a grave undertone or exaggerated exuberance, chewing the scenery at every opportunity and helping the comedy to land even harder because he and Neil Hamilton take it so seriously. Even when Robin’s solving riddles with suggestions like “a sparrow with a machine gun”, they just nod along in complete agreement as if there was no other solution, and it’s a joy to see.

While Bruce is besotted by Miss Kitka, he’s supported by Alfred and the ever-enthusiastic Robin.

Interestingly, Bruce Wayne gets a fair bit of screen time here. While he’s mostly just running to and from the Batcave, he takes centre stage when the United Underground plot to kidnap the millionaire and hold him hostage, sure that Batman and Robin would race head-first into their death trap to rescue him. Thus, Miss Kitka (having already caught Batman’s eye at the press conference) easily bewitches Bruce with concerns of a threat from the villains, causing him to hatch an elaborate scheme to take Miss Kitka on a date and have Robin and their loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth (Alan Napier), follow in the Batmobile to intervene when the villains strike. However, Robin gets a bit uncomfortable watching Bruce and Miss Kitka play tonsil hockey and tunes out, meaning he’s too late to save Bruce from being kidnapped. Unaware that the beautiful Soviet reporter he’s falling for is secretly Catwoman, Bruce rages at the villains, threatening to kill them if they harm Miss Kitka, and giving them a beating before doing what he does best and outsmarting the evildoers and escaping. Robin is generally Batman’s echo chamber, there to enthusiastically shout encouragement or hit upon comical solutions, but he’s fiercely loyal to Batman and always has his back. He’s dismayed when it appears Batman’s been blown up by an absurdly oversized bomb, takes it for granted that the Batcopter would safely land on a convenient pile of foam, and is always on hand to offer suggestions, like commandeering a taxi, even if he often defers to Batman’s age and experience. There’s not much for Commissioner Gordon or Chief O’Hara to do except be Batman’s cheerleaders, but it was amusing seeing Alfred don a domino mask and drive Robin around as part of their scheme.

The bickering, colourful, outrageous villains steal every scene with their madcap personalities and plot.

As amazing as Batman is, however, even he’s intimidated at the thought of his greatest villains forming a cabal. Although the villains squabble, with each thinking they’re the leader and have the best goons or plans, they begrudgingly get on the same page to work towards a common goal. The goons are holed up in a seedy bar and utilise the Penguin’s repurposed nuclear submarine to plan and execute their scheme, which involves building a makeshift cabin to dupe Commodore Schmidlapp and boobytrap their headquarters with hopes to flinging Batman and Robin into an unseen exploding octopus. The villains eventually realise their best chance of success is to incorporate all their individual gimmicks and ideas, though the Riddler’s obsessive compulsion with bamboozling Batman with obtuse riddles often annoys his cohorts. Similarly, the Joker is initially annoyed at how bossy the Penguin is on his submarine and Catwoman is constantly berating the others for bungling their plot. When infiltrating the United World Headquarters, the Riddle is equally nonplussed about whether the Penguin succeeded in his separate ploy to infiltrate the Batcave in the guise of Commodore Schmidlapp. While Batman and Robin aren’t fooled by this in the slightest, they go along with the ruse to get an idea of the villain’s plot, only to be aghast when the Penguin’s rehydrated goons vanish into “antimatter” due to being reconstituted with “hard water”. As great as Batman and Robin are, the villains steal the show. The Joker is a cackling, moustachioed maniac, Catwoman is a sultry temptress, the Riddler is absolutely off his rocker, and the Penguin waddles about with manic glee. Romero and Gorshin are practically bouncing off the walls at times, while Meredith quacks through gritted teeth and postures with delusions of grandeur. Catwoman is easily the most level-headed, often cutting through their nonsense to get them on track, while the Penguin has all the fancy gadgets and goons, though the Joker and the Riddler’s machination see the Dynamic Duo faced with numerous hilarious near-death experiences.

The ridiculous camp is married with some impressive vehicles and interior sets in this colourful adventure.

You can definitely see the money on the screen in Batman. The show was famous for its elaborate and expensive sets and they really shine on the big screen, with the Batcave standing out as a fully stocked laboratory with every bat-themed device the plot requires. The villains’ skewed lair is a fun mirror of the Batcave, being much more lowkey but still filled with personalised areas and their individual gimmicks. They later transition to the Penguin’s submarine, which isn’t as interesting an interior, but I did like that each had a personalised station on the periscope and that every control console was clearly and obnoxiously labelled. As ever, the costumes are colourful and ripped right from the comic books. Batman and Robin are especially impressive, with both men filling out their spandex admirably, but the outrageous villains give them more than a run for their money. The Penguin stood out for me thanks to his hilariously mad impersonation of Commodore Schmidlapp, the cigarette holder permanently clamped between his teeth, and his ridiculous gas-filled umbrella. Most notably, Batman spends a lot of time having the Dynamic Duo hop between the Batmobile, Batcopter, Batcycle, and Batboat. Though obvious stunt doubles and rear projection are used in these sequences, it’s always a thrill seeing the 1960s Batmobile roar to life. I really enjoyed the Batcopter scenes, especially with Robin unnecessarily hanging upside down on the Batrope to deliver the Shark Repellent Batspray, and the Batboat scenes, both of which include some cinematic wide shots through the city and over the ocean. The Penguin’s personalised submarine was also a fun model, and I really enjoyed the big fight scene on the submarine (surprisingly the only use of the comic book sound effects in the film), which was shot on an elaborate water set.

After a bombastic submarine brawl, the Dynamic Duo (mostly) restore the World Security Council…

Despite all the comical nonsense, such as the villains being aggravated when Batman doesn’t come to rescue Bruce Wayne, Batman racing around the pier desperately trying to get rid of a bomb (one of the most amusing sequences of the film!), and the Riddler’s ridiculous riddles, the United Underworld successfully dehydrate and abduct the World Security Council. Hot on their trail, desperate the rescue the delegates and Miss Kitka, Batman and Robin force the Penguin’s submarine to surface after bombarding it was “Batcharges” and a furious fistfight breaks out on the deck that sees the Dynamic Duo tangle up the Penguin, the Joker, and Riddler and all their henchmen. When Catwoman flees into the sub, she trips and loses her disguise, leaving Batman briefly devastated when he realises she was Miss Kitka all along. Quickly shrugging off his heartbreak and returning to duty, Batman secures the dehydrated World Security Council, only for the confounded Commodore Schmidlapp to accidentally break the vials and scatter their powdered remains. Luckily, the Batcave has a “Super Molecular Dust Separator” that the Dynamic Dup use to filter the mingled dust particles. Though Robin suggests they “shuffle” the delegates’ personalities to encourage world peace, Batman advises against playing God lest they cause a catastrophe like the Penguin’s hard water minions. Thus, with Commissioner Gordon, President Lyndon B. Johnson (Van Williams), and the world watching, Batman and Robin successfully rehydrate the World Security Council. Amusingly, despite Batman’s meticulous efforts, the delegates have their personalities mixed up, leaving him to hope that the “strange mixing of minds” could benefit humanity. The Dynamic Duo then “discreetly” exit via a nearby window using their Batropes and dump the problem on someone else!

Final Thoughts:
This is my first time watching Batman in years, maybe even over a decade, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I watched it a lot as a kid and was really into it then, but I was glad to find my enjoyment wasn’t stifled despite me preferring a dark, gritter Batman. There’s an infectious charm to this interpretation of the Caped Crusader (which was actually far more comic accurate than people think) and I really liked that the show and its movie weren’t afraid of the ludicrous nature of the source material. Everyone is decked out in colourful costumes and giving it their all, with Batman playing things straight as an arrow and his villains chewing the scenery with their pantomime-like behaviour. I love how tongue-in-cheek everything is, from the ridiculous solutions to the Riddler’s puzzles to that damn bomb scene (!) and the villains’ outrageous plot. Adam West remains one of the quintessential benchmarks for Batman. I love how intelligent and capable his Batman is, and that he’s constantly mentoring and encouraging those around him. Robin is full of enthusiasm and energy and throws himself into everything, and I really liked how the city was so enamoured by the duo. The villains steal the show, however, with their rambunctious performances. There’s such manic energy to the men and a tangible sexuality to Catwoman that’s appealing even today. I really enjoyed how elaborate and overblown everything was and the fun vehicles and sight gags used throughout the film. My only complaints are that the Batman theme wasn’t used more and that the “Pow!”, “Biff!” sound effects only appear in the finale. Otherwise, Batman remains a rollicking good time. If you only like dark, moody, super serious Batman then you might dislike this film but you’d honestly be missing out as it’s a fantastic, vibrant piece of camp fun that’s as enjoyable to me now as it was thirty-odd years ago.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Do you also have a soft spot for the 1966 Batman movie? Were you a fan of the show back in the day or were you turned off by the camp nonsense? Which of the outrageous villains featured here was your favourite? Did you correctly guess the answers to the Riddler’s riddles? Would you have liked to see another feature film spin-off of the show? How are you celebrating Batman this month and which Batman movie is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on this version of Batman, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to support the site.

Movie Night [MK Day]: Mortal Kombat II


This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is mortalmonday.png

To celebrate the simultaneous worldwide release of Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992) on home consoles, 13 September 1993 was dubbed “Mortal Monday”. Thus, it’s only fitting that to celebrate this influential fighting series every September 13th.


Released: 8 May 2026
Director:
Simon McQuoid
Distributor:
Warner Bros. Pictures

Budget: $80 million
Box Office: $75.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 65% / 89%

Quick Facts:
The success and controversy of Mortal Kombat saw producer Lawrence Kasanoff produce both cult hits and disappointing lows. After years in limbo, Mortal Kombat returned to the big screen with a lukewarm reboot that nonetheless saw cast and crew up for a sequel. Determined to address fan feedback, the filmmakers opted for a more faithful adaptation, though reviews remained mixed.

The Review:
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m biased towards the 1995 Mortal Kombat film (I did write about it for my PhD thesis, after all). However, I’m a big Mortal Kombat fan and was excited to see a new version of it after years of stop/start projects and small screen ventures. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very impressed with the 2021 reboot, mainly because the story was so choppy, the tournament was absent, and the characters weren’t as appealing as the 1995 version. To make matters worse, despite the franchise’s massive roster and already painting fan favourite Johnny Cage as the “Everyman” outsider in 1995, the 2021 film chose to craft a brand-new audience surrogate, Cole Young (Lewis Tan), an athletic but sadly bland character who could’ve easily been Johnny Cage with just a few script tweaks. Mortal Kombat II aimed to address these issues, and more, and you can tell it’s aiming to be closer to the source material right from the start as the intro and titles mimic the opening of its videogame namesake. More areas from the games are also recreated (though through jarringly obvious green screen), fights are occasionally presented in a way that apes the videogames, and series co-creator Ed Boon makes a gratuitous cameo as a bartender. Having stifled manipulative Outworld sorcerer Shang Tsung’s (Chin Han) attempts to sabotage Earthrealm’s warriors in the last film, Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) has moved his chosen fighters to his sky temple to prepare for the generational Mortal Kombat tournament that will determine the fate of humanity. However, also thanks to Shang Tsung, Raiden is one fighter down as Shaolin monk Kung Lao (Max Huang) died in the last film, so he and Lieutenant Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) head to Hollywood to recruit a new fighter.

Despite overshadowing all the returning fighters, even Cage is side-lined in favour of Kitana.

So, right away there’s some issues. Mortal Kombat ’21 ended with Cole heading to Hollywood to recruit Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), but this film opens with the tournament mere hours away and the washed-up action star still attending conventions rather than fighting. This means we must suffer through a janky, rushed, and frankly insulting first twenty minutes or so as Cage is brought up to speed with the plot. Considering Raiden and the others gave Sonya and Cole such a hard time in the last movie for not carrying the Elder God’s mark or being unprepared for the tournament, they’re oddly far more lenient on Cage, who’s wracked with self-doubt as his glory days are behind him and hilariously incredulous to Earthrealm’s plight. Once he learns that Mortal Kombat is a fight to the death, Cage bows out, only to be forced into fighting anyway because that’s apparently what happens now. While Karl Urban seems a better fight for Kano, he’s one of the few highlights of this film and perfectly captures Cage’s snarky attitude, prima donna arrogance, and bombastic scepticism. It was odd, however, seeing him go from reluctantly fighting Princess Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) to literally running in fear of Baraka (CJ Bloomfield) and suddenly shift from being incapable of fighting to being very competent sometimes in the same fight. Despite being the focal point of the film’s marketing, Cage shares the main character role with Kitana, an Edenina princess forced to serve as tyrannical emperor Shao Kahn’s (Martyn Ford) daughter/assassin who has secretly been conspiring with Raiden to defat Outworld. Having witnessed her father, King Jerrod’s (Desmond Chiam) brutal slaughter and her mother, Queen Sindel’s (Ana Thu Nguyen) enslavement by Shao Kahn, Kitana has every reason to oppose the emperor, not least to liberate her people, which causes conflict between her and her loyal bodyguard, Jade (Tati Gabrielle). Between the two of them, Cage and Kitana present narrative arcs far more compelling than anyone else’s though it is strange that these new films shift the focus away from long-time franchise protagonist Liu Kang (Ludi Lin).

Sadly, returning characters aren’t given much screen time or depth and are killed for shock value.

Indeed, we’re two films in and we know very little about Liu Kang other than he was raised/trained by Raiden and is desperate to save his brother, Kung Lao’s corrupted soul. He’s a pure-hearted fighter and said to be the best of Earthrealm’s warriors, but he has no interaction with Kitana beyond a few respectful bows and glances, meaning his entire arc is centred on trying to help Kung Lao. Liu Kang has little personal rivalry with Shang Tsung or Shao Kahn beyond him wanting to save his realm and few meaningful interactions with Cage either, which is also true of Major Jackson “Jax” Briggs (Mehcad Brooks), Sonya, and Cole. These four only have superficial depth thanks to the previous film; we learn nothing new about them, and they accept Cage so easily that it makes the entire previous film’s plot redundant. Jax and Sonya remain fiercely loyal to each other and are even willing to spare Jade to maintain Raiden’s relationship with Kitana, but there’s no romantic sub-plot between Sonya and Cage. In fact, Liu Kang, Jax, and Sonya are more apt to mock Cage and his fighting skills, which amusingly bites them when Baraka is won over by Cage’s theatrical and unorthodox fighting style. Despite his role in the last movie and being the ancestor of legendary fighter Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion (Hiroyuki Sanada), tough-skinned cage fighter Cole is pushed far into the background here. There’s a passing mention of his wife and daughter and he’s seen to be as committed to defending Earthrealm as the others, but the spotlight is so far off him it’s almost insulting. With him largely absent from the marketing and so reviled by fans, it’s no surprise that Cole is offed in the tournament, but the execution left a bitter taste in my mouth. For starters, Cole is matched up against the newly invincible Shao Kahn (who really shouldn’t be fighting in the tournament if you ask me). Cole’s unceremonious death is thus a foregone conclusion, but his so-called friends barely react to their loss and are laughing and joking about Cage soon after, with Cole quickly forgotten. And like yeah, I wasn’t a fan of his, but I think he deserved better than that!

Fan favourite characters steal the film but are also frustratingly side-lined.

Despite his garb being closer to his videogame counterpart, Tadanobu Asano continues to disappoint as Raiden. He lacks the stature, gravitas, and charisma of Christopher Lambert and feels like a very weak and ineffectual Thunder God. His character is noticeably and jarringly softened here, with him being much more amicable towards Cage than he was to Cole or Sonya, and the film adds a fatherly slant to his relationship with Liu Kang and Kung Lao. Raiden’s placed in mortal danger here as Shao Kahn has necromancer Quan Chi (Damon Herriman) resurrect foul-mouthed mercenary Kano (Josh Lawson) to acquire the amulet of the fallen Elder God, Shinnok. The corrupted Kung Lao then slices Raiden’s throat to empower the amulet, which gifts Shao Kahn near-immortality and ties Earthrealm’s fate directly to Raiden’s. Although he still doesn’t sport his bionic eye (despite Quan Chi saying they’ll “build him a new one”), Kano remains a highlight. As crude and quick-witted as ever, Kano relishes the chance to get back in the fight but quickly grows tired of Outworld’s desolate offerings and double-crosses the evildoers. Once Kano’s teamed with Johhny Cage, the fil really hits its stride (which sadly come sin the third act) as the two make for a fun duo, scouring the hellish Netherreealm in search of Hasashi and the resurrected Bi-Han (Joe Taslim), formally Sub-Zero (and never referred to as Noob Saibot despite obviously being him) who safeguards Shinnok’s amulet. Sadly, Kano comes in far too late to help with the film’s paper-thin plot or the elevate the frustratingly one-dimensional characters. Equally, the film decides to sideline Sindel, who starts as an avid defender of Edenia and is then seemingly corrupted (presumably by Quan Chi’s dark magic) into Shao Kahn’s bride before being abruptly killed by Sonya and then randomly reappearing so Shao Kahn can interrogate Kitana. Considering how important Sindel usually is to Shao Kahn’s plots and Kitana’s character, it’s bizarre to see her be an afterthought. Jade gets more screen time and relevance as she’s torn between her friendship with Kitana and her loyalty to Shao Kahn!

As unnecessary and underutilised as Shang Tsung and Quan Chi are, Shao Kahn is a force to be reckoned with!

While I wasn’t a fan of Chin Han’s Shang Tsung in the last film (he’s not even comparable to Bruce Locke, let alone the immortal Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), I was equally frustrated and disappointed to see him side-lined in the sequel. Shang Tsung faces no repercussions for his defeat and loses with little authority and menace he had as he’s reduced to the emperor’s underling. It doesn’t help that the movie brings in Quan Chi to resurrect and corrupt fallen fighters, a role that Shang Tsung probably could’ve filled without much issue. On the plus side, Shao Kahn is presented as a monstrous, intimidating figure of unimaginable power even before he gains Raiden’s God-like power. Constantly garbed in intimidating armour, a skull-like helmet, and wielding a devastating battle axe, Shao Kahn is a brutal and menacing villain made even more threatening by his loquacious demeanour. He’s not some mindless despot or a mewling man-child with daddy issues; he’s a cold, calculating villain who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. Crucially, Shao Kahn is seen to be vulnerable despite his stature. He looks like he could easily crush anyone in his path but every fight he’s in is framed in a way that gives his opponent a chance to win as they score glancing blows or even kill shots, only for the emperor to either shrug it off or instantly heal thanks to Shinnok’s amulet. Sure, we don’t get any depth to him or backstory and he’s as simple a character as “big evil bad guy who wants to conquer everything”, but I liked that he wasn’t needlessly killing off his underlings, that he gave his opponents a fighting chance, and that he embodied the character so appropriately. Any time Shao Kahn appeared, you knew some shit was gonna go down and it was very effective seeing people cower and bow to his sheer might, while also sowing the seeds of dissension as Sahng Tsung clearly covets the emperor’s throne and power.

While the fights, gore, and fan service are top notch, they come at the expense of characters and story.

In keeping with the previous film, Mortal Kombat II places a greater focus on its fights and gore than the plot of the characters. On paper, this makes sense and is fine enough for certain audiences, but I miss the heart and the characters of the 1995 film, which also boasted some impressive martial arts. We get a sense of the kind of action star Cage was thanks to some footage of his dreadful action movies, which is fun, but again this is oddly translated into his fights as Cage is just as likely to cry foul and ask for a stunt man despite being a legitimate fighter. The tournament finally features here, with characters being teleported to recognisable locations like the spike-ladened bottom of the pit, the ominous portal bridge, and the acid pits for their fights. Weirdly, the film insults our intelligence by having magic flames go out when fighters are defeated and recycles many of the same locations (the ransacked Edenian town square, for example), but it makes up for this by going all-in with the characters’ special moves. Liu Kang’s tossing fireballs and flaming kicks, Sonya fires her rings, Jax is fully comfortable with his bionic arms, and Kano relishes blasting fools with his eye laser. Naturally, given her prominence, a lot of focus is placed on Kitana’s razor-sharp fans but Jade’s staff gets a lot of time in the spotlight, too. Since Cage repeats Cole’s arc from the last movie, he doesn’t gain his green aura until the finale, but he still punches Baraka in the dick and impresses with his unorthodox fighting. Sindel represents every pre-teen gamer by spamming her banshee scream, leading to Sonya impaling her on the pit’s spikes, and Shao Khan even darts in with his patented shoulder charge. Without a doubt, the film’s best fight sequence is the throwdown between Liu Kang and his revenant brother, with Kung Lao now tossing a gnarly buzzsaw hat that ultimately proves his bloody undoing. Still, before that, the two put on a hell of a physical spectacle as Li Kang desperately tries to reason with his brother before vowing to find a way to free him.

Thanks to a little help and a lot of sacrifices, Kitana avenges her father and ends Shao Kahn’s threat.

This fight’s closest competition come sin the finale, when Cage and Kano recruit Scorpion’s help and battle Bi-Han and his gooey double alongside the ninja-like spectre. It’s always great seeing Scorpion and Sub-Zero clash, though Bi-Han was given even less characterisation than before, sported all new shadow-based powers, and appeared far too late to be as relevant as he could be. While that fight’s going on, Liu Kang and Sonya fight Shao Kahn to rescue the strung-up Kitana, since Jax was also killed by the emperor. This fight also goes a bit south as Liu kang is surprisingly killed, though he accepts his fate as he realises his true destiny was to reunite with Kung Lao in the afterlife. With Sonya down and clearly no match for Shao Kahn, it’s left up to Kitana to oppose the emperor and avenge her father. Unfortunately, despite her obvious fighting talent, Kitana’s hindered by Shao Kahn’s newfound immortality, thus linking her fight to the Netherrealm clash. Luckily, with Scorpion and Jade’s help, Cage and Kano overcome Bi-Han and his double and destroy Shinnok’s amulet, right as Shang Tsung (who randomly pops up after a lengthy absence) is poised to killed Raiden. With the amulet destroyed, Raiden’s returned to full power and Shao Kahn is made mortal, allowing Kitana to disarm and subdue Shao Kahn, unmasking him before her subjugated people and ending him by slicing his head into pieces with her fans. Immediately hailed as Edenia’s queen, Kitana encourages her people to stand and relish their newfound freedom, with Cage later embellishes to impress Baraka and his clan. Having found a new purpose in life, Cage not only follows through on his promise to tutor the Tarkartans but joins Raiden and the others in beginning a new quest. With the captured Quan Chi in tow, Cage and the others set out to rescue their deceased friends, though Sonya vows to kill Kano (again…) once this goal is achieved.

Final Thoughts:
I went into Mortal Kombat II with low expectations. I recently rewatched the 2021 reboot before it and was surprised by how annoyed by it I was, with it’s awful pacing, poor character development, and focus on gore over story. Mortal Kombat II was always going to have an uphill battle because of that, and I really felt like it was weighed down by the reboot’s decisions. Unfortunately, rather than address these in a meaningful way, Mortal Kombat II throws Johnny Cage in our face like a play toy and shunts everyone, not just Cole, to the background, making the last film feel even more redundant as this is the movie that one should’ve been! Luckily, Karl Urban is great as the conceited Cage and I really enjoyed the focus on Kitana, who carried the emotional weight of the barebones plot. Kano also helped with this, but he appears far too late to help as much as he could, same with Scorpion (who I would’ve thought would’ve appeared after Cole’s death…) and Bi-Han. It was great to see Shao Kahn done justice on the big screen, and I did like seeing Quan Chi come back, as overused and unnecessary as he was, and of course the fights and gore were great…when they appeared. I honestly felt like the gore and Fatalities were underplayed this time, and that the tournament again felt very secondary. It lacked the scale seen in the 1995 movie, for one thing, even with the game-accurate locations, and the plot was more focused on Shinnok’s amulet (which Shao Kahn rally didn’t need as he was already unstoppable) rather than more interesting elements, like Sindel and her relationship with Kitana, or Shang Tsung’s aspirations, or the feud between Scorpion and Bi-Han. Ultimately, I give this film the edge over the last one as this is what I wanted to see from the 2021 reboot, but Mortal Kombat II was disappointing to me. it was far too rushed at the start, retread a lot of the same ground, side-lined or underdeveloped returning characters, and was so obviously trying to placate us with fan service that it became insulting.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Mortal Kombat II? Were you also annoyed that Cole Young and the other fighters were side-lined? Did you enjoy Karl Urban’s performance as Johnny Cage? Were you surprised to see Kitana take the spotlight? Which of the fights was your favourite? Did you also find the film rushed and messy Wat are your hopes for a third film? How are you celebrating Mortal Kombat today? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Mortal Kombat content on the site.

Back Issues [Sonic CDay]: The Return of Chaotix / Return to the Miracle Planet


Developed alongside the blockbuster Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Technical Institute, 1992), Sonic the Hedgehog CD (Sonic Team, 1993) released on this day back in 1993 and introduced Metal Sonic (one of Sonic’s most popular and enduring rivals).


Story Title: “The Return of Chaotix” (Part 1 to 6)
Published: 9 December 1995 (cover-dated: 22 December 1995) to 17 of February 1996 (cover-dated: 1 March 1996)
Writer: Nigel Kitching
Artist: Richard Elson

Story Title: “Return to the Miracle Planet”
Published: 25 May 1996 (cover-dated: 7 June 1996)
Writer: Nigel Kitching
Artist: Roberto Corona

Quick Facts:
After Sonic the Hedgehog became a mainstream success, SEGA quickly capitalised with a slew of ancillary merchandise, like “Britain’s Official SEGA Comic”, Sonic the Comic (StC). StC quickly veered from the source material while still featuring loose adaptations of the videogames. When StC adapted Sonic CD, they reimagined Metal Sonic as “Metallix”, a robotic doppelgänger who reappeared alongside a “brotherhood” of the Badniks and tangled with the likes of Sonic, Knuckles, and the Chaotix in numerous time travel plots.

The Review:
Although Sonic has every reason to frequently return to Never Lake since the last time he was there, his childhood friend and fellow Freedom Fighter, Porker Lewis, was trapped on the tiny planetoid known as the Miracle Planet when it disappeared from Mobius as it does every month. Instead, Sonic seems surprised when the Miracle Planet reappears, anchored to Mobius by a giant chain, and wary when some “dude” comes down that same chain. It’s an odd start considering I would’ve expected Sonic to be eagerly waiting the Miracle Planet’s return since Porker’s was trapped there after helping defeat the Brotherhood of Metallix and their gigantic emperor, though that’s largely inconsequential compared to Porker’s odd demeanour when Sonic rushes to meet him. Nearby, the Chaotix Crew – leader Vector the Crocodile, muscle Mighty the Armadillo, stealthy Espio the Chameleon, and aggravating Charmy Bee – make a rough landing at Never Lake courtesy of the Omni-Viewer, a sentient computer monitor capable of travelling across dimensions. As soon as they recover, the Chaotix Crew are attacked by Doctor Ivo Robotnik’s Troopers, including a formidable tank-like variant from the Special Badnik Service (SBS). Although the tank shrugs off Mighty’s hefty haymaker, Espio trashes a Trooper with his patented spinning top attack. Mighty then reduces the tank to scrap metal and the remaining Troopers are trashed by Sonic, whom the Chaotix Crew highly regard after hearing tales of him from the Omni-Viewer. Vector reveals that they’ve travelled from the Special Zone under the belief that the Brotherhood of Metallix are up to no good on the Miracle Planet, a suspicion the Omni-Viewer soon proves to be true, despite Sonic’s claims, when he reveals the usually lush and fertile planetoid has been conquered by the Metallix!

Sonic and the Chaotix Crew are horrified when the Metallix alter the past to conquer the present!

Although Porker claims ignorance of this drastic transformation, Sonic eagerly leads the Chaotix Crew to investigate, dismissing Mighty’s hopes for a plan. However, Sonic’s stunned when Porker turns out to be a Metallix variant! The Porkertallix knocks Sonic from the chain with its piston-like arm (though he’s saved by Charmy Bee), headbutts Mighty when he tries to wrestle with it, and gets a kick in the head when Espio sneaks up behind it. Taking to the sky, the Porkertallix charges a “death ray” only to be damaged by Sonic’s Spin Attack. With only seconds to spare before the robot blows up, Mighty and Vector bust out their “Link-Rings” and knock the Porkertallix away so it can explode harmlessly in the sky. Though aggravated by Sonic’s ego, the Chaotix Crew venture onto the polluted, mechanised hellscape of the Miracle Planet and discover the real Porker tied up as bait. While saving his friend, Sonic is confronted by the Emperor Metallix, its army, and its corrupted version of the Omni-Viewer and is horrified to see that the Metallix have travelled into the past and turned Mobius into an equally mechanical hellhole! Realising they’re outnumbered and outgunned, Vector urges the Chaotix Crew to escape via the Omni-Viewer with a reluctant Sonic, who’s so mad he initially tries to take on the entire Metallix army by himself. Teleporting to “Planet Metallix”, the team arrives in a world overrun by machinery and Metallixes, one very unlikely to have any organic life. Once again, Vector must stop Sonic when he tries to take his anger out on an army of nearby Metallix, though they’re led straight into a dead end by the foolish Charmy Bee. Luckily, a mysterious, hooded individual urges them to follow them into the sewers, fooling the Metallix with a holographic projection and then blowing them to smithereens with a bomb. Though grateful, Sonic’s eager to know who’s saved them and discovers that Mobius’s few survivors have taken refuge in the sewers under the leadership of Doctor Ovi Kintobor, the kindly scientist who was transformed into Dr. Robotnik by a laboratory accident!

Sonic’s distraught when he’s forced to create his most hated enemy!

Although Sonic’s overwhelmed at the state of the survivors and at seeing his old friend again, Vector boots up the Omni-Viewer to track the “chronotron trails” left behind by the Metallix’s time travelling and they hop into the screen for a jaunt to the past, taking Dr. Kintobor’s “Anti-Metallix” device with them. This comes in handy when the heroes are jumped by a group of Metallix guarding the timeline as even the combined abilities of Sonic and the Chaotix Crew struggle against the hedgehog’s dangerous doubles. Instead, Sonic slaps the device onto a Metallix and sends it haywire, causing it to attack its “brothers” and allowing our heroes to jump back into the Omni-Viewer, but not before Sonic finds that one of the Metallix was holding a strangely familiar rotten egg. Naturally, this means that the chronotron trail ends in a place Sonic’s all-to familiar with: Dr. Kintobor’s underground lab, back when he was helping a distinctly brown and far less cool-looking Sonic master his super speed. Watching from a doorway, the group witnesses past Sonic breaking the sound barrier, destroying the kinetic gyratoscope used to measure his speed and turning him into his cool, blue self. After reliving this literal blast from the past, Sonic realises with dread how the Metallix changed the past. Sure enough, Dr. Kintobor’s fridge is empty, meaning the rotten egg he found was taken by the robots. Although the Chaotix Crew are baffled as to why this is so important or why Sonic’s so reluctant to put a rotten egg into a fridge, a quick jump to twenty-four hours later clues them in as they watch Dr. Kintobor retrieve the egg for a light snack. Wanting to be absolutely sure, Sonic yanks on a nearby cable and forces his kindly friend to trip into the Retro-Orbital Chaos Compressor (R.O.C.C.), thus causing the accident that birthed Dr. Robotnik! Although devastated at having created the world’s most ruthless dictator, Sonic takes some comfort in Porker’s belief that Dr. Robotnik is obviously important to the Metallix’s survival.

Though the Metallix come close to victory, a last-second save by Sonic finally ends their threat.

When the Omni-Viewer returns them to the present, they’re relieved to see the Mobius has been restored. However, since the Miracle Planet is still corrupted by his robotic doppelgängers, Sonic has the Omni-Viewer transport them to Citadel Robotnik, though Dr. Robotnik dismisses their story as hogwash. Porker rightly questions why the Metallix would want to erase Dr. Robotnik from history as this would surely destroy them, since he created them. However, it turns out they were the brainchild of Dr. Robotnik’s long-suffering assistant, Grimer (though it’s not clear why he would create them without Dr. Robotnik’s influence…) When Grimer reveals that Dr. Robotnik installed a self-destruct mechanism into the machines, Sonic is livid since the tyrant risked his life sending him after the Metallixes about ten issues ago in the hopes the two would destroy each other. Sonic’s only stopped from bashing Dr. Robotnik by the fact that they need that self-destruct device to win and the approach of a swarm of Metallix so vast that they block out the sky! The Emperor Metallix and its thousand-strong hoard crash into the citadel and wreak havoc, easily overwhelming the heroes and leaving Porker a distraught, cowering mess from all the violence and stress. Just as Dr. Robotnik retrieves the self-destruct device, he’s snagged by the Emperor Metallix, who begins to crush it ahead of doing the same to its former master’s neck! Luckily, Sonic swipes the self-destruct device, deactivating the Metallix army. Sonic’s somewhat perplexed by this anti-climactic end, though Vector’s just grateful for it to be over since they barely survived the onslaught. Although Sonic tries to lecture Dr. Robotnik on his heinous actions, he gives up and leaves, clearly still rattled by the adventure. Still, Dr. Robotnik is left ruminating on how close they all came to death, but Grimer gleefully lifts his spirits by unveiling his plans for a new, more stable Metallix…one based on Knuckles the Echidna!

A brief rematch with a Metallix isn’t all it seems in this largely forgettable epilogue.

Although this Metallix variant and the original machine did appear again in StC, “The Return of Chaotix” effectively ended the comic’s ongoing adaptation of Sonic CD and Knuckles’ Chaotix (SEGA, 1995) save for one final epilogue a couple of months later, which I may as well include here. “Return to the Miracle Planet” sees Sonic and fellow Freedom Fighters Amy Rose and Johnny Lightfoot…return to the Miracle Planet (shocker!) in its first reappearance since “The Return of Chaotix”. Despite toppling the Brotherhood of Metallix, the Miracle Planet still bares their visage and is still a mechanised hellscape thanks to the Alpha Device, now a gigantic mechanical tower rather than a simple staff. Guided by the Kintobor Computer (a sentient artificial intelligence that’s essentially a copy of Dr. Kintobor’s personality), Johnny Lightfoot scales the Alpha Device tower looking for a port to plug in a cable, with the hope being that the Kintobor Computer can reverse the damage caused by the Alpha Device. Frustrated by the “techno babble”, Sonic races off to investigate some nearby movement, scrambling through the mechanised landscape until spotting the source of the movement: a red-tinted Metallix! Amazed that one of his robotic doppelgänger’s survived, Sonic immediately attacks, surprised when the machine flees rather than fighting. Naturally, Sonic quickly catches up to it and knocks it down, ready to impale the robot with a piece of scrap metal. However, Amy’s horrified when the Metallix blasts Sonic with its chest ray, only for Sonic to be relatively unscathed since the machine had its weapon on the lowest setting. The Metallix then reveals that it was a bird-like Mobian in disguise all along, a captive of the Brotherhood who disguised himself as one of them after escaping his cell and has been searching for a way home ever since. After quickly snatching Amy’s misguided crossbow bolt from the air, Sonic taunts his friend’s aim and offers to take the Mobian home, confident that the Miracle Planet will be back to normal when it returns in a month.

Final Thoughts: 
Although I naturally have more bias towards Sonic the Comic since I grew up reading it, I generally find that their art and storytelling was overall much better than those in the Archie Comics in the United States. Sonic the Comic had more variety and personality, being fun but also quite dark right from the start, whereas Archie’s Sonic comics took a while to drop the inane slapstick. Neither of them have a great track record when it comes to adapting specific videogames, however, and these two stories continue that trend as, rather than using this opportunity to showcase new areas of the Miracle Planet, both limit the planetoid-based action to a single, indistinct, mechanical area. This would’ve been a great opportunity to bring the Bad Futures of Stardust Speedway or Metallic Madness to life but, instead, there’s little to distinguish the mechanised Miracle Planet from any of Dr. Robotnik’s other facilities. Similarly, “The Return of Chaotix” features the only adaptation of Knuckles’ Chaotix’s “Combine Ring” mechanic and, like in Archie’s Sonic comics, it’s simply used to swing a character into a robot and never used again. On the plus side, “The Return of Chaotix” boasts gorgeous artwork from the unmatched Richard Elson, who masterfully renders Sonic and the Chaotix Crew in ways Archie’s Art Mawhinney and Ken Penders can only dream of. The Metallix especially benefits from this, with the story giving a few subtle background variants (which recall Silver Sonic and the Mecha-Metallix) and an all-new Porkertallix that’s both fearsome and formidable. I liked how rattled Sonic was by this robot and how dangerous a single Metallix was to the combined force of Sonic and the Chaotix Crew. Since his emotions are so high in this story, Sonic almost blunders into an unwinnable situation more than once, forcing Vector to restrain him and pull him away from getting himself killed, which leads to some interesting interactions between Sonic and the team.

Sonic’s time travel journey tests his mettle as his worst nightmares come to life.

Naturally, Sonic’s used to getting his own way with the Freedom Fighters and bossing them around, but the Chaotix Crew are a well-honed team who analyse situations and attack as a cohesive unit. This means they clash with Sonic’s more impulsive attitude but, ultimately, he begrudgingly agrees that discretion is better when faced with such a formidable foe. “The Return of Chaotix” largely re-treads much of and undoes the “Brotherhood of Metallix” story (Kitching, et al, 1995), with the Metallix dominating the Miracle Planet and Mobius thanks to time travel shenanigans. The sight of the Miracle Planet transformed into a giant Metallix head is harrowing, to say the least, but outdone when they do the same to Mobius and essentially turn it into Apokalips! It might’ve been fun to stretch this story out over a few more issues and backup stories, maybe spend a few weeks living on Planet Metallix and having Sonic reconnect with Dr. Kintobor, thereby making his decision to restore the timeline even more difficult. Instead, the story shifts to revisiting “The Origin of Sonic” (ibid, 1993) in the style of Back to the Future Part II (Zemeckis, 1989), with Sonic witnessing his origin as a bystander and manipulating events to cause Dr. Robotnik’s creation. As far as I remember, the guilt and self-loathing he feels about this are limited to this story, which is a shame as it adds an interesting dramatic wrinkle and extra personal beef to Sonic’s war against Dr. Robotnik. The time travel stuff does get a bit wonky here, though, as I alluded to. I guess we have to assume that Grimer was always destined to be a bad guy and create Metallix, which seems unlikely given his attitude towards Dr. Robotnik. Still, it’s fun revisiting Sonic’s past and seeing him so angered at having to birth his greatest enemy, and knowing that Dr. Robotnik could’ve stopped the Metallix at any time. However, it is also kind of strange that the Metallix never removed their self-destruct device, especially as they became autonomous and improved upon their original design.

The Metallix have never looked stronger ore deadlier than in their final, epic appearance.

“Return to the Miracle Planet” isn’t much of a coda to this story. It might’ve been better if we’d seen Sonic return alone to find the Miracle Planet restored, allowing him to explore somewhere like Tidal Tempest of Quartz Quadrant, or if the Metallix he encountered was the real deal, allowing for a recreation of their iconic Stardust Speedway race. Instead, it largely serves to tie up the loose end of returning the Miracle Planet to normal and leaves me wondering why the Metallix kidnapped and experimented on Mobians when they just wanted to exterminate all life in the most efficient (if convoluted) way possible (i.e. time travel). Still, “The Return of Chaotix” was an enjoyable end to this sprawling Metallix saga. I was disappointed that the Emperor Metallix didn’t do much, but it was shocking seeing it threaten to crush Dr. Robotnik’s neck and seeing how close its Brotherhood came to ultimate victory. I also liked how dangerous the Metallix were, with them easily holding their own against the Chaotix Crew, who were unexpectedly outmatched by the faster, deadlier machines. I love the idea of the Metallix being stationed across the timelines and manipulating the timestream to cheat their way to victory, so much so that I do think it would’ve been fun to marinate on this idea for a few weeks. “The Return of Chaotix” also led to a pivotal status quo change as Porker suffered a nervous breakdown and left the team, something Sonic initially struggled to deal with, and led to the creation of the Knuckles Metallix (though this wouldn’t be anywhere near as prevalent as its Sonic variants). While it is disappointing that StC never gave us a true Sonic CD adaptation or made the most of the source material and “Return to the Miracle Planet” is a largely forgettable coda, I really enjoyed the time travel plot in “The Return of Chaotix” and how it changes the perception of Sonic’s relationship with Dr. Robotnik.

“The Return of Chaotix” Rating:

“Return to the Miracle Planet” Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Could Be Better

Do you think “The Return of Chaotix” was a fitting end to StC’s loose adaptation of Sonic CD? How do you think StC’s Chaotix Crew compare to their Archie Comics counterparts? Did you enjoy the twist that Sonic created Dr. Robotnik? Were you also disappointed that we didn’t spend more time on Planet Metallix or see more areas from the game? Did you think “Return to the Miracle Planet” was a worthwhile story to tell? How are you celebrating Sonic CD’s anniversary today? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic CD, or StC in general, feel free to leave a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Sonic content.

Screen Time [Kirby Month]: Kirby: Right Back at Ya! (S1: E: 1-3)


Created by Masahiro Sakurai, the disgustingly cute, ever-ravenous Kirby is one of Nintendo’s most popular characters. Accordingly, I’m dedicating most of July to celebrating the pink puff-ball.


Season One, Episodes One to Three

Directors: Mitsuo Kusakabe (1/2), Hiroyuki Yokoyama (3)

Air Dates: 6 October 2001 (Japan)/14 September 2002 (USA) to 20 October 2001 (Japan)/21 September 2002

Networks: CBC TV (Japan), Fox Box (USA), Pop (UK)

Quick Facts:
After spearheading Kirby’s illustrious videogame career, Masahiro Sakurai supervised this anime adaptation of the franchise, which aimed to appeal to viewers of all ages. Supervising director Sōji Yoshikawa faced challenges dealing with a mute protagonist in a fantasy world but believed in the concept, which was purposely edited for Western audiences and has a mixed reputation amongst critics.

The Review:
While the amusing earworm that accompanies the colourful, action-packed open titles helps set the scene for Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, the basic standard of the anime is established in “Kirby Comes to Cappy Town” (Kusakabe, 2001), which depicts Kirby (Amy Birnbaum) as a young “Star Warrior” sleeping soundly in his (literal) starship before being awakened when his ship detects a giant monster on Planet Popstar. I’ve played many Kirby videogames, and they pretty much never have a deeper plot than “Dream Land/Planet Popstar threatened by evil”, so it’s interesting to see the additional lore is tacked onto Kirby here. For example, Kirby isn’t from Planet Popstar; he’s a fledgling Star Warrior who crash lands and is stranded there in the first episode. Dream Land (if not the entire planet) is ruled by the bombastic King Dedede (Ted Lewis), a greedy, selfish monarch who craves power. He’s not an anti-hero or even a reluctant ally of Kirby’s here; he’s a bumbling bad guy, no question. However, while King Dedede is aided by underlings, his right-hand snail, Escargoon (Ted Lewis), and enjoys the loyalty and protection of the mysterious Meta Knight (Eric Stuart), he orders monsters from the shady N.M.E. organisation. When King Dedede wants to cause a ruckus or spawn an enemy to destroy Kirby, he calls N.M.E.’s customer services representative (Dan Green) and orders a familiar mini boss or big boss from the games to be the “Monster of the Week”, racking up quite a debt that N.M.E’s head (Andrew Rannells) is sure to want to cash in later. This quickly becomes the formulaic premise for the show: King Dedede orders a monster, the monster challenges Kirby, Kirby learns how to beat it (usually with a new copy ability), and everyone laughs about it afterwards.

Angered at Kirby’s presence, King Dedede conspires to destroy him to secure his rule over Dream Land.

Although there appears to be no organised resistance against King Dedede, the residents of Cappy Town – including Mayor Len Blustergas (Mike Pollock) and siblings Tiff (Kerry Williams) and Tuff (Kayzie Rogers) – strongly dislike the king. For one thing, they’re forced to work in his palace and cater to him; for another, King Dedede and Escargoon are notorious liars and manipulators. King Dedede swears blind that he’s not sending monsters into the neighbourhood to devour sheep or kill Kirby, yet he’s constantly rolling around in his tank and observing and commenting upon these events, barely even pretending to not be the cause. Cappy Town’s prayers for a hero are seemingly answered when the wise old Kabu (Jim Napolitano) foretells the arrival of a mighty Star Warrior, only for Tiff and Tuff to be disappointed that Kirby is little more than a “baby” barely capable of speech. Young and naïve, Kirby is an inquisitive and enthusiastic little puffball, but the Cappies are unconvinced of his abilities, especially after witnessing his incredible “inhale” power, voracious appetite, and when King Dedede sabotages his efforts to assist Chef Kawasaki (Maddie Blaustein) in “A Blockbuster Battle” (Kusakabe, 2001). While he’s untested and still has much to learn, Kirby is extremely formidable. His rubbery body helps make him durable (though his powers wane when separated from his “Warp Star”), he can puff himself up to float, he exhibits incredible strength, and he can copy the abilities of his enemies to change form. This occurs after being humbled by King Dedede’s latest monster or minion and Kirby undergoing training, either from Tiff and Tuff or receiving cryptic instructions from Meta Knight. While Cappy Town applauds his efforts and rallies behind him, they prefer Kirby to stay out of town due to his appetite and clumsy nature, eventually building him a house (one promptly claimed by Tokkori (Kevin Kolack), who trades Kirby his nest).

Kirby masters various copy abilities to defeat King Dedede’s rented monsters and prove himself a Star Warrior.

Although he’s also dismissive of Kirby, King Dedede immediately attacks and hates Kirby on sight, worried that even an immature Star Warrior threatens him. King Dedede initially sics Octagon on Kirby, surprised to find what was initially a small and unimpressive monster becomes a mindless kaiju that wrecks his castle. Thanks to Meta Knight, Tiff, and Tuff, Kirby recovers and becomes Fire Kirby, destroying the beast and causing King Dedede to total his starship and vow to destroy Kirby. He then ruins Kirby’s reputation in Cappy Town and orders a new monster from N.M.E. This turns out to be Blocky, a massive sumo wrestler-esque stone so dense that it’s immune to Kirby’s inhale ability. Blocky destroys Kirby’s treehouse home and seems unstoppable, until Meta Knight suggests using its weight and power against it. Thus, Kirby lures Blocky to an incline, turning into smaller duplicates that he promptly crushes with his Stone ability foiling King Dedede once more. In “Kirby’s Duel Role” (Yokoyama, 2001), King Dedede orders Meta Knight to challenge Kirby to a duel, something the mysterious conquistador is reluctant to pursue. However, he’s duty bound to follow the king’s orders and quickly proves Kirby’s superior. Meta Knight turns the duel into a training exercise, however, mentoring Kirby on finding his inner calm and strength and mastering the Sword ability, surreptitiously obeying his master while also aiding Kirby. This training comes in handy when King Dedede unleashes an expert swordsman, Bugzzy, to finish the job, only for it to be sliced in two by Kirby’s Sword Beam. Enraged, King Dedede tries to take matters into his own hands only to be toppled by Meta Knight, who refuses to elaborate on his true allegiance and seems destined to walk the line between enemy and ally.

This colourful, fun-packed show challenges Kirby to showcase the full extent of his potential.

I felt a little bad for Kirby, here. It’s interesting that the anime depicts him as immature when he’s always so forthright and proactive in the games. He still is here, to be fair, never backing down from a fight or a challenge, and he always triumphs thanks to encouragement, training, perseverance, and his copy abilities. It’s strange, then, that he’s depicted as a clumsy, disruptive child who Cappy Town finds annoying yet inspirational. I feel it might’ve been just the same, if not better, to depict him as childish and simple but still formidable and reliable, since he is all those things anyway. It’s a strange dichotomy as Kirby naturally rises to the occasion and isn’t really hampered by being awoken two-hundred years too early. It does create a bit of drama, though, as Kirby’s often on the backfoot or must use more than brute strength to win. “Kirby’s Duel Role” excellently shows that Kirby is outclassed against Meta Knight’s swordplay and it’s therefore more meaningful when he masters the Sword ability. Still, it was weird seeing people shun and doubt Kirby, especially as he’s always so friendly and so damn cute. While the episodes quickly adopt a recognisable formula, I never found myself bored, mainly because the animation is so good and it was fun seeing Kirby get into scrapes and learn new powers. N.M.E’s monsters are presented as intimidating obstacles for Kirby to overcome and I got a real sense that Dream Land has suffered under the whims of King Dedede, who seemed to previously unleash monsters just for a lark.

Final Thoughts:
The anime really captures the vibrant and surreal nature of the videogames, mixing traditional animation with CGI to bring Kirby and King Dedede to life. While it was a strange decision to have Kirby be an alien visitor and these episodes don’t pull any locations from the games except King Dedede’s castle and Planet Popstar, the visual appeal is undeniable as characters are very expressive. The CGI elements added a cinematic quality and emphasised how goofy Kirby and King Dedede are, which only made the cartoonish fun more enjoyable. I loved how the amine incorporates Kirby’s inhale and copy abilities, translating the former into his insatiable appetite and the latter into one-time power-ups that show his growth as a character. Kirby is adorable here, mimicking voices and taking pleasure in the simple things and always happy to help and stand against any enemy, no matter how big or skilled they are. I enjoyed the mystery surrounding him as a Star Warrior, which was only exacerbated by Meta Knight, who constantly talks in riddles, aura farms, and is presented as an elusive (and incredibly powerful) warrior. I loved Meta Knight’s Spanish accent and accompanying theme, elements I never imagined for him, but which really worked to give him some spice. Similarly, it was strange hearing King Dedede using a Southern accent, but it quickly grew on me and surprisingly suited his pompous character.

A couple of standout characters and vibrant, enjoyable visuals make this a fun time all around.

I loved how Kirby’s mere presence upset King Dedede, like he knows his rule is threatened by this seemingly harmless pink marshmallow and it’s driving him mad (and into debt) ordering monsters to get rid of him. I thought it was pretty funny how King Dedede is seen as a liar and a dick, yet people begrudgingly tolerated him because he’s their ruler. The Cappies seemed unable to do anything but complain about him before Kirby showed up and hardly rally behind him once he’s there due to his age. Tiff and Tuff were okay supporting characters but it’s Escargoon who stood out amongst the new characters. Unlike other animated underlings, he’s not an abused, spineless lackey. He offers his opinion, enforces King Dedede’s will, and even questions his king, being fiercely loyal while also recognising when things aren’t going there way. I’m biased but Meta Knight stole the show for me with his mysterious demeanour and undeniable screen presence, which are both backed up by his reputation as a master swordsman. I also enjoyed that the episodes used enemies from the videogames. That may sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how often adaptations don’t use characters and elements from the videogames. It was admittedly odd to have them teleported to King Dedede from N.M.E. but that aspect was a fun way to build that shadowy organisation up as a greater threat than King Dedede. Ultimately, I had a lot of fun with these episodes. They’ve bright, colourful, harmless fun that tweak the lore in interesting ways, depict Kirby’s abilities and enemies in entertaining ways, and the animation and visuals were top notch. I would definite be happy to watch more of this anime and would recommend it to fans of the character, or anyone needing a quirky anime to pass the time with.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of Kirby: Right Back at Ya!? What did you think to these first three episodes and the way the anime depicted Kirby? Did you like the formula of the anime or would you have preferred to see King Dedede be more proactive? Were you also a fan of Meta Knight’s portrayal? Which episodes were your favourite? Let me know your thoughts on Kirby: Right Back at Ya! in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want me to review more episodes of the anime.

Back Issues [Sonic Month]: Doomsday / The Final Victory


Sonic the Hedgehog was first introduced to gamers worldwide on June 23 1991 and, since then, has become not only SEGA’s most enduring and popular character but also a beloved videogame icon. Thus, in keeping with tradition, I’m dedicating some time to celebrate SEGA’s supersonic mascot.


Story Title: “Doomsday” (Part 1 to 3)
Published: 5 February 1997 (cover dated: 18 February 1997) to 5 March 1997 (18 March 1997)
Writer: Nigel Kitching
Artist: Richard Elson

Story Title: “The Final Victory” (Part 1 to 4)
Published: 18 March 1997 (cover-dated: 1 April 1997)
Writers: Nigel Kitching and Lew Stringer,
Artists: Richard Elson, Nigel Dobbyn, Roberto Corona, and Nigel Kitching

Quick Facts:
Thanks to an aggressive marketing campaign, Sonic briefly usurped Super Mario and his mainstream popularity saw him expand into comics. Sonic the Comic (StC) was published fortnightly in the United Kingdom, based its lore from the now defunct Mobius storyline, and boldly portrayed Sonic as an egotistical narcissist. Though eventually cancelled and survived by an online continuation, these four issues spelled the end of both an ongoing story arc and Doctor Ivo Robotnik’s dictatorship over planet Mobius.

The Review:
“Doomsday” and “The Final Victory” marked not just the historic 100th issue of StC, but also the culmination of a months-long story arc that saw pig-headed freedom fighter Sonic the Hedgehog trapped in the Special Zone. This happened after he went on a rampage as Super Sonic, his demonic, Chaos-powered alter ego. Using a Star Post, Sonic’s allies – namely Miles “Tails” Prower and Amy Rose – separated Sonic and Super Sonic into separate beings. Sonic then ventured into the Special Zone (a chaotic alternate dimension guarded by the Chaotix Crew) to keep his destructive alter ego from hurting anyone, eventually being stranded when Super Sonic was time locked within the Omni-Viewer, a benevolent, sentient television screen that was Sonic’s only way home. This meant Tails, Amy, and the other Freedom Fighters faced an uphill battle against Doctor Ivo Robotnik, who had conquered Mobius some years prior, without their point man and Sonic embarked on many strange adventures in the Special Zone trying to find a way home. This brought him into conflict with devious crime boss Lord Sidewinder and his gang, who seek to harness Super Sonic’s power for their own nefarious ends in part one of “Doomsday”. This story also sees Sonic and the Chaotix Crew (fresh off being framed as criminals) stopping Doctor Plague from unleashing a deadly virus upon New Tek City. Even when Dr. Plague launches a bunch of vials into the air, Sonic quickly retrieves them with a flourish. His gloating is interrupted by a desperate call from Porker Lewis, his neurotic childhood friend, and the sudden appearance of two suns in the sky. Super strong Mighty the Armadillo states such an occurrence is said to herald the end of the world, an event more likely than ever as the damaged and panicked Omni-Viewer soon appears.

Sonic is torn between battling his demonic double in the Special Zone or helping his friends on Mobius.

The Omni-Viewer reveals that he was unable to trap Super Sonic within his interdimensional vortex since the demon was far too powerful. Instead, he slowed time to a crawl, meaning it should’ve taken years for Super Sonic to escape. Instead, he somehow retained his consciousness and slowly built his power, turning the Black Asteroid he was imprisoned in into an electron bomb, hence the “second sun”. Although Sonic demands that the Omni-Viewer transport him back to Mobius to help Porker, team leader Vector the Crocodile begs him to stay to combat Super Sonic. It’s all moot anyway, though, as the Omni-Viewer is too weak to help and Lord Sidewinder’s mage, Lightmare, suddenly appears. Naturally, Sonic and the Chaotix Crew attack Lightmare before she can explain, forcing her to trap them in living nightmares using her Pandora’s box. After being surprised by Espio the Chameleon’s invisibility, Lightmare reveals she’s Lord Sidewinder’s daughter and begs them to stop to her father’s plot before it kills him and their gang. While Sonic and the others go to stop Lord Sidewinder, who loads himself and his gang into a rocket to head to the Black Asteroid, Vector stays behind to help the Omni-Viewer think up a plan to deal with Super Sonic. Vector restores the Omni-Viewer at the Equinox laboratory, where a scientist also reveals that an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) will be generated when the Black Asteroid explodes, causing chaos as every computerised system will immediately fail. Apparently driven mad by his ambition, Lord Sidewinder scoffs at any danger posed by the Black Asteroid, causing the oafish Bio-Hazard and Mister Fry to question his sanity and logic. This, as much as the pressing threat, allows Sonic and Mighty to easily rough up Lord Sidewinder’s goons, though Sonic remains conflicted between his duty to protect Mobius and the imminent destruction of the Black Asteroid.

An EMP knocks out Dr. Robotnik’s machines, finally ending his rule over Mobius.

However, upon learning of the EMP, Sonic has a genius brainwave and demands that the Omni-Viewer transport the Black Asteroid into the skies above Mobius, where it promptly explodes. As Dr. Robotnik’s entire army and operation consists of or is run by machines, this effectively disables all his Badniks and systems, releasing all the woodland critters from their mechanical prisons, shutting down the biological computer Dr. Robontik hooked the Emerald Hill residents up to on the Floating Island, and disabling Vermin the Cybernik, thus saving Sonic’s allies and allowing Knuckles the Echidna to rescue the Emerald Hill folk. Naturally, the demonic Super Sonic immediately goes on a warpath, desperate to destroy Metropolis City and attacking Sonic right as he reunites with Tails, Amy, and Johnny Lightfoot. Initially toying with his prey, Super Sonic unleashes a barrage of energy beams, cackling maniacally and overwhelming his more benevolent doppelgänger. However, right as Super Sonic is poised to deliver the killing blow, his energy suddenly drains and he’s forced to flee, with the Omni-Viewer revealing that the explosion somehow changed Super Sonic’s biology. With no time to ponder this or celebrate, Sonic has the Omni-Viewer transport him to the Floating Island, where a confused and troubled Dr. Robotnik orders his ally, turncoat, semi-cybernetic echidna Doctor Zachary, to destroy Knuckles. Although Dr. Zachary can’t use the ancient Guardian robots due to the EMP, he’s somehow still able to use his cybernetic weapons, though he’s quickly blasted by Sonic right as Knuckles was playing possum and summarily trapped in a gorge courtesy of the super strong echidna. Despite the two realising they’ve been so distracted with their rivalry and battling Dr. Zachary that they’ve forgotten about Dr. Robotnik, they’re amazed to find Porker has apprehended the tyrant.

Sonic stops Dr. Robotnik’s attempts to get back online and finally liberates the planet from his rule.

While a confused, powerless, and amnesiac Super Sonic wanders Metropolis City and is taken in by a kindly resident, Sonic wastes no time in parading the fallen despot through the city, gleefully proclaiming the end of his rule to the cheering masses and delivering him to the city courthouse so he can be locked up and eventually tried for his crimes. Though humiliated, Dr. Robotnik remains defiant, even more so when his long-abused assistant, Grimer, suddenly shows up riding an antique, steam-powered robot and promptly rescues his master. Although Sonic easily smashes the machine, the confusion allows Grimer to get Dr. Robotnik to safety. As they know every inch of the city, the two promptly vanish, frustrating Sonic so much that he chastises Tails for distracting himself with Vermin. Prompted by Johnny, Sonic realises that Dr. Robotnik and Grimer must’ve fled back to their ominous citadel using the city’s sewer system and promptly gives chase, crashing in right as Dr. Robotnik is ordering Grimer to start up the clunky emergency generator. Desperate to keep Dr. Robotnik from getting his machines back online, Sonic knocks Grimer aside and speeds around the generator, which overloads the power core and causes the ostentatious citadel to dramatically explode. With the immediate threat ended and the symbol of Dr. Robotnik’s rule in flames, Sonic finally celebrates their victory alongside his friends and the liberated inhabitants of Metropolis City. However, Dr. Robotnik and Grimer escaped the explosion using the sewers and retreat to the outskirts of the city. Although Grimer wallows in despair, Dr. Robotnik is practically frothing at the mouth at the indignity and vows to take a terrible revenge upon his enemies for ousting him from power.

Final Thoughts: 
As an avid collector of Sonic the Comic back in the day, I was beyond hyped for these four issues and StC’s big 100th issue release. The months leading up to “Doomsday” had seen all the Sonic-related back-up stories deal with his exile to the Special Zone and Dr. Robotnik’s plot to use the Emerald Hill folk to power his giant supercomputer, meaning “The Final Victory” was the culmination of not just years of the dictator’s stranglehold over Mobius but months of semi-connected storytelling. It’s therefore fitting that “The Final Victory” takes up the entirety of issue 100 and showcases many of StC’s artists, though Richard Elson remains the gold standard and I do wish he’d illustrated the entire story as it’s very jarring to go from his beautiful, epic artwork to the comparatively basic and cartoonish illustrations of Nigel Kitching. Although you could argue that using an EMP was a contrived and convenient way to defeat Dr. Robotnik in one fell swoop, it was also the best and most efficient way. For years, Sonic and his friends settled for scoring minor victories, liberating the odd Zone or taking out garrisons, battleships, or Dr. Robotnik’s commanders, but were unable to strike a decisive blow against the tyrant. As Dr. Robotnik is all about machines and robots, an EMP is the perfect way to knock out his army and end his rule, ushering in a new age of StC as Sonic struggles to define his role in a world without war and conflict and Dr. Robotnik schemes to return to power. This story also saw the Emerald Hill folk return home after being given sanctuary on the Floating Island, Super Sonic have a few side adventures as a distinct character, and marked the beginning of Amy’s journey into an independent character.

A cathartic end and start of a new era that would’ve been made even better by Richard Elson.

The timeline of events are a bit strange, however. Super Sonic apparently frees himself, or the Omni-Viewer decides to abandon him to get help for the impending explosion, and is seemingly unable or unwilling to stop charging his power for his dramatic escape. Given how powerful Super Sonic is, it’s strange that he wouldn’t just burst free of the Black Asteroid as soon as possible. This threat is also subdued very quickly, which is a shame as it might’ve been fun to somehow involve him in Dr. Robotnik’s scheme to restart his systems (perhaps he could’ve taken Super Sonic’s unconscious body and used it as a battery?) Knuckles also gets a bit side-lined, though it’s clear his focus is on helping the Emerald Hill folk since Dr. Zachary’s been taken care of and Dr. Robotnik’s in custody. I liked that Sonic never broke character here: he still gives Tails shit, mocks Knuckles, and acts like a jackass even though he’s won the day. I also liked how conflicted he was between helping the Special Zone and getting back to Mobius. StC-Sonic might be an insufferable prick most of the time, but he’s dedication to defeating Dr. Robotnik and saving lives is never in question, even if he does alienate those closest to him. I also enjoyed seeing Dr. Robotnik humiliated and aggravated by Sonic’s taunting and the cheers of the Mobians, and that he still had a few tricks up his sleeve despite his machines being knocked out. I’m not sure why Dr. Zachary’s weapons were unaffected by the EMP, but the steam powered robot was a nice touch, so much so that I kind of wish Dr. Robotnik had hopped in a steam-powered mech for one more brutal fight with Sonic. Still, this as a satisfying conclusion to years and months of storylines. It was great to finally have Sonic back home and to see Dr. Robotnik so utterly defeated so quickly, and to finally give the good guys a decisive victory after years of simply chipping away at Dr. Robotnik’s rule.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Were you impressed by Sonic’s final victory over Dr. Robotnik? Were you a little confused about how Super Sonic escaped from the Omni-Viewer? Would you have liked to see Super Sonic play a greater role as a villain in the end? Do you agree that Richard Elson should’ve illustrated the entire final story? What are some of your favourite StC stories and how are you celebrating Sonic the Hedgehog this year? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic the Comic, or Sonic in general, drop a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Sonic comic stories for me to review.