horror

Game Corner: Hellboy: The Science of Evil (Xbox 360)

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 24 June 2008
Developer: Krome Studios

Metacritic Scores: 44 /2.8
Also Available For: PlayStation 3 and PlayStation Portable (PSP)

Quick Facts:
Having brought his trademark gothic art style to both independent and mainstream comics, monster-loving artist and comic creator Mike Mignola got his big break in 1993 with the distinctively Lovecraftian Hellboy, whose first live-action venture became an instant cult classic. Hellboy’s first jump to videogames was a poorly reviewed bomb and, despite roping in the creative forces behind the first feature films, The Science of Evil didn’t fare much better and was almost universally lambasted for its poor graphics and gameplay.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Hellboy: The Science of Evil is a third-person hack-and-slash (more of a “bash-and-smash” thanks to Hellboy’s signature Right Hand of Doom) that primarily follows Hellboy’s quest to track down a malicious witch but which features flashbacks to his earlier cases and run-ins with Nazi forces and ends with him confronting crazed Nazi commandant Herman von Klempt at his gothic castle. While the developers may have hoped to make something akin to the Devil May Cry (Capcom/Ninja Theory, 2001 to present) and God of War franchises (Various, 2005 to 2024), they instead lumbered players with a repetitive brawler that features no skill tree to expand upon, few collectibles, and a far too short campaign mode that drags out its runtime with mindless brawling and dodgy platforming. Players make Hellboy (or his allies, fishman Abraham “Abe” Sapien and pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman in the co-op multiplayer mode) jump with A (holding it to jump higher and tapping it to clamber over ledges) and attack with X (for quick, light strikes) and Y (for heavier strikes or hold it for charged “Boom” attacks that stun enemies). You can dive roll by pressing A and X together (though its use as a dodge is negligible), perform a jumping strike or ground pound (at the cost of some energy), and grapple with the Right Trigger. You can then pummel and toss enemies or instantly kill them with B if you have enough energy. If knocked down, you must tap Y to recover and you must also do this if you respawn after a death. There are no lives here and plenty of checkpoints, and Hellboy’s health automatically refills after a short time (or if you perform a jumping ground slam). Smashing enemies or the environment sees you collecting blue energy to fill your meter, which lets you instantly kill enemies and perform some moves, and you’ll extend this meter by finding artefacts in each area.

Whether playing alone or in co-op, the action quickly becomes tedious and repetitive.

You shoot Hellboy’s versatile handgun, the Samaritan, with the Left Trigger. Although you can freely aim with the right stick, I wouldn’t recommend this as the aiming reticle is as tricky and unreliable as the grapple, which often failed to register my inputs. Hellboy can shoot lots of ammo types, with some being more effective against certain enemies, from regular rounds and the shotgun-like shots to grenades, flame rounds, and magic crystals. You cycle between these with the Left Bumper and collect ammo from crates dotted (or hidden) about, repeatedly tapping RT until your ammo is full. When your energy is full, you can enter “Hellmode” by pressing in both control sticks. This temporarily boosts your speed and attack power or unleashes a flaming shockwave, though I found this to be relatively useless as it doesn’t last long. Hellboy can also grab various weapons (barrels, stone slabs, massive warhammers, drainpipes, swords, and such) to use or throw at enemies. Though these are great for crowd control, can light lanterns or defeat certain foes, and will stun larger enemies, they break pretty quickly. Performing your grapple finish on certain enemies disarms them, gifting you a unique weapon like a machine gun or an exploding round, and you can execute a few basic combos by mashing different combinations of X and Y. However, most enemies take a hell of a beating and continuously swarm the area, to the point where I often felt like the game was glitching. Different enemy types attack each other, which is helpful, and a friend can help you out in the co-op mode, but combat becomes very tedious very quickly as it’s primarily slow, uninteresting punching. It might’ve been nice if you gained experience points to trade in for some fun new moves, like spewing hellfire or some kind of spinning attack, or could upgrade Hellboy’s Hellfire mode to see him go on a rampage as Anung Un Rama. Instead, you’re left with the same moveset for the whole game, with Hellboy acquiring new ammo and little else.

Puzzles and combat often boil down to mashing the same buttons or performing the same actions.

There are no difficulty modes here, though you can enable “friendly fire” to make co-op more frustrating interesting. The game is divided into six chapters, each containing a handful of sub-chapters and asking you to follow a fairly linear path. Along the way, you’re beset by enemies you can largely ignore unless a “ghost barrier” blocks your way. In these instances, you must defeat all nearby enemies to dispel the barrier. Other times, you must cut through ghost tentacles with a special crystalline sword or blast them with your crystal rounds. Occasionally, you activate levers to open gates, stop toxic gas spewing into the arena, or create new walkways. You do this by holding RT and tapping X, which is the go-to method for every “puzzle”. Spot a glowing wall? RT+X to smash through it. Path blocked by fallen trees, rocks, or stalled vehicles? RT+X to clear them. Need to ring a giant bell or push over a column to make a path? RT+X. You get the picture, I’m sure. The game gives the illusion of offering side quests by having Hellboy interact with corpses who ask him to do a task for them to open gates or doors. These generally amount to smashing up some enemies and, you guessed it, holding RT and tapping X. Cursed graves endlessly spawn enemies in the first chapter, but they’re easily destroyed with exploding Bambini heads. Enchanted coffins also appear here, though your “release” ammo will remove their threat and allow you to RT+X to open them for such rewards as…nothing or some ammo. While platforming challenges are light, they’re annoying due to the useless camera, which often switches to different perspectives and angles to screw up your controls. Chapter two introduces the lantern mechanic, where you must light torches and get rid of gnarled roots blocking your path, but this is more aggravating than fun as you must often backtrack for torches. Chapter four also sees you hurling frog monsters down pits to light torches and open gates.

Presentation:
I was somewhat optimistic about Hellboy: The Science of Evil when I heard Marco Beltrami’s Hellboy (Del Toro, 2004) theme on the main menu and saw that Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, and Doug Jones were reprising their film roles. However, the game has a very confused identity and isn’t sure if it’s a movie tie-in, a spin-off from the comics, or something else entirely. While Hellboy looks and sounds like he does in the film, this world seems very different and closer to the comic books, being full of witches, ghosts, zombies, and other supernatural threats. While Hellboy’s stone arm lights up and even bursts into flame, and he adopts different outfits for each chapter, he has no idle poses and repeats the same one-liners and nonsensical statements throughout the game. There are no pre-rendered cutscenes and, strangely, barely any story. There’s some text between chapters and a handful of cutscenes that use the in-game models, but I was very confused about what was happening as there’s no real introduction, chapters abruptly end and jump to the past with little explanation, and the game essentially has no ending, either, as Hellboy’s just blasted into the water after defeating the final boss and the credits roll! I didn’t play in co-op so I have no idea if Abe and Liz appear in cutscenes, but it seems like they don’t, which is weird, and the story felt very disconnected and slapped together to me. This was a shame as it could’ve taken more inspiration from the source material or even retold key moments from the first movie to better tie things together. While the game performs relatively well, I did have some odd moments where the camera got stuck, Hellboy wouldn’t build energy, and the music cut out or oddly looped.

The visual style is somewhere between the comics and the first film, making for a confused game.

While you visit various locations and time periods in Hellboy: The Science of Evil, they’re all very drab and repetitive but I give the game kudos for evoking the dark, gothic aesthetic of the comics over the slightly more polished and sci-fi-esque presentation of the first film. You begin in the Carpathian Mountains of 2007 Romania, smashing your way through a mausoleum and emerging in a crooked, foreboding graveyard full of crypts, gravestones, gnarled trees, and dishevelled woods. A cauldron of bats often swarms in doorways or as you enter new areas, which serve as the calling card of the crazed witch Hellboy’s pursuing, and you’ll find crypts home to loquacious skeletons, a sentient gate who demands a password, and flame pits in dank caverns. Chapter two flashes back twenty-three years to a misty forest in Japan, where Hellboy follows a magical kitsune, encounters a mysterious, isolated monk who offers some exposition, and follows snaking cobblestone paths and fights through a bamboo forest. Pagodas are dotted about and this is where you experience how destructible much of the environment is, though it largely amounts to building your energy meter and discovering the odd collectible. Chapter three returns you to Romania, depositing you in an abandoned village beset by a thunderstorm. I liked the rain effect and lightning flashes and fighting in the narrow streets and on the precarious rooftops in this area. You also detour through a house to encounter a tortured suicide victim and eventually land in some dank catacombs home to disgusting frog monsters. This sewer-like area is alive with slimy egg sacs and razor-sharp tentacles (which helpfully target enemies), scurrying rats, and vaguely Lovecraftian statues. Chapter five flashes back to 1967 Tunisia, where you battle Nazi zombies in the ruins of an archaeological dig, smashing apart their camps, odd crystalline growths, and crashing through ruins. You end up in von Klempt’s gothic castle, a distinctly Mignolaian setting full of 1930s style laboratory equipment, Nazi paraphernalia, and the leftovers of their atrocious experiments with the occult.

Enemies and Bosses:
While there are only a handful of enemy types in Hellboy: The Science of Evil and the game is more likely to toss mini bosses at you and quickly make them regular enemies than wow you with big, action-packed boss battles, most enemies are somewhat unique to their chapter to give each setting a distinct personality (though they all show up in chapter six). At first, you’re beset by pigmy-like Bambinis, mischievous little imps who toss their explosive heads and scamper all over you. They’re relatively harmless unless they clamber onto your back; I had trouble working out how to throw them off before they drained my health. A slightly bigger variant wielding a chain also shows up and the Bambinis chip away at you as you face a pack of werewolves (though these guys look more fearsome than they are and simply swipe, howl, and bite). In Japan, you battle spear-carrying kabuki warriors (whose weapons can be stolen to light lanterns) and encounter troll-like oni, who guard against your attacks, bash your head in with their large metal clubs., and push you back with a sonic blast. You also battle katana carrying demons who swipe and charge with their blades. These guys introduce a mechanic where you must stun them, grapple them, and hit Y to counter their attacks, mash X to pummel, and finish them off with B when prompted. This strategy works on the giant Bambinis (who tackle you, toss exploding Bambini heads, and grab you and throw you into walls), the horned frog monsters, and the cybernetically enhanced apes you later encounter. You fight frog monsters in the sewers (through they’re easily tossed onto spikes) and various Nazi zombies. These guys can take a hell of a beating in chapter five and wield machine guns, electrifying blade arms, grenade launchers, and even these weird, steampunk-esque buzzsaw weapons!

Bosses are as disappointing as the gameplay and lack the visual spectacle I’d expect from the license.

Hellboy constantly encounters a witch in Romania. Each encounter takes place in a different arena but is essentially the same, with her always teleporting as a cloud of bats and tossing exploding Bambini heads. You must throw these (or other objects) back to send her packing and, in the final battle with the witch, you chase her to the rafters and finally corner her in the church attic, where you can get close enough to hit her. Hellboy’s hounded by a volatile cyborg ape…thing in chapter two and is trapped inside a pagoda with it at the chapter’s end. The large ape is deceptively fast with its leap and charge and has a hell of a reach thanks to its mechanical arms (which it fires and swings on chains). If you get too close, it grabs you and throws you about and, instead of fighting it, you attack pillars to drop down a few floors and eventually bring the whole structure down on it. Variations on this enemy appear in chapter six, with one surprising you on a narrow castle wall (however, I fled back and it seemed to despawn!) Chapter four ends with you dispatching some frog monsters and their horned giants, eventually destroying the central chamber of their lair, while chapter five culminates in a more aggravating boss battle against a large, Lovecraftian worm-thing. In the first phase, you must avoid the Nazis swarming the chamber and toss crystals at its mouth when it roars, then use RT+X on the nearby pillars to blast it with lasers. In the second phase, ignore the Nazis and attack with your unbreakable flaming sword, dodging its whipping tentacles to put it down. The game’s final boss is a demon unleashed by von Klempt that’s essentially fought like other giant enemies. You must stay away to avoid being pounded or eaten and dodge its erratic mouth laser, using any nearby debris to stun it or unloading with combos and your gun. Eventually, it’s joined by frog monsters and toxic gas and you must grab von Klempt’s floating cybernetic torso to finish it off, but this was a lacklustre end to a disappointingly mediocre game.

Additional Features:
There are twenty-seven Achievements in Hellboy: The Science of Evil, with one awarded each time you complete a chapter. You can also kill twenty-five enemies with different weapons for some more, kick fifty Bambini heads for another, and toss fifty enemies onto spikes for another. Every chapter hides a hidden artifact and finding each nets you another six Achievements (then a seventh for finding them all). Fall off a cliff twenty times for an Achievement and invent time travel to go back to when Xbox Live was a thing to snag two more for finishing a multiplayer chapter with Ape and Liz. Artifacts and lore that boost your energy gauge are hidden in each chapter  and playing through the game unlocks behind the scenes extras, interviews, and artwork. Completing each chapter unlocks it for you to replay from the main menu and finishing the game allows you to replay the main campaign with all the extra energy and ammo you’ve found. Although there was downloadable content planned where you’d play as Lobster Johnson and Achievements were programmed for this, it never released (not that you’d be able to get it now, or that I imagine it would’ve been that good!)

Final Thoughts:
I’m a big fan of the Hellboy movies, and the character (despite not having read many of his adventures) so I was excited to get into Hellboy: The Science of Evil. Since it’s only tangentially related to the films and released soon after the first movie, I had high hopes it’d avoid the stigma of movie tie-in games. Unfortunately, this really was one of the most disappointing, barebones, cash grab licensed games I’ve ever played. There’s barely any story here and no effort put into any of the cutscenes or even the script, with Ron Perlman muttering statements that seem strangely disconnected to what’s happening and the game seemingly failing to tie into the films or the comics. While Hellboy looks great and the environments are okay, evoking both the movie and Mike Mignola’s distinctive art style, nothing interesting happens with the character or where he goes and the game just feels like a series of events loosely tied together. The combat is so boring and gets old super fast. With no skill tree or additional combos or attacks to learn, Hellboy feels underpowered and frustratingly limited. If the developers were aiming for something akin to a Devil May Cry or God of War title then they missed the mark by a wide margin with the slow, lumbering combat and unsatisfying gunplay. The puzzles were a joke, with every solution to any problem simply being to hold RT and tap X until you win. The quick-time-event-like moments with bigger enemies and bosses were as finnicky as the camera angles and the grab, leading to some frustrating moments. The bosses were laughable as well, with only one offering something more than what you’d get from a larger enemy, and the collectibles and replay value were sub-standard, at best. I’d say this one’s only worth playing if you can get it cheap (a tall order these days) but you’re better off sticking to the Devil May Cry or God of War games for a satisfying hack-and-slash adventure.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Are you a fan of Hellboy: The Science of Evil? If so…why? Were you disappointed that the game didn’t have more to do with the movies and comics? Would you have liked to see more unlockable combos and attacks? Which of the bosses and ammo types as your favourite? Did you ever play the game in co-op? Which Hellboy videogame is your favourite? Leave me a like and drop a comment below, then donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Dr. K3 Comments

Released: 11 July 2008
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $82.5 to 85 million
Box Office: $168.3 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 86% / 71%

Quick Facts:
Despite Hellboy (del Toro, 2004) being an instant cult classic, development of a sequel stalled due to distributor issues. Working alongside Hellboy creator Mike Mignola, director Guillermo del Toro crafted an original story based more on folklore than the source material and utilised intricate practical effects, puppetry, and make-up courtesy of Spectral Motion and Filmefex. Accompanied by various tie-in media, Hellboy II was widely praised but hopes for a spin-off and a third film were ultimately dashed in favour of a reboot.

The Review:
Set about a year after Hellboy/Anung Un Rama (Ron Perlman) and his fellow monsters and humans at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (B.P.R.D.) stopped a Lovecraftian threat from destroying the world, things have changed slightly in Hellboy’s life. He’s now in a relationship with fellow B.P.R.D. agent and pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman (Selma Blair) and overseen by the fastidious Doctor Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), who’s exhausted with Hellboy’s belligerent attitude and disrespect for authority. Yes, all that time the previous film spent setting up Agent John Myers (Rupert Evans) as Hellboy’s new carer is thrown out the window for a throwaway gag and Hellboy’s relationship with Manning is antagonistic again, with Manning exasperated at constantly having to cover up news reports and sightings of Hellboy. Hellboy still keeps his late adopted father, Professor Trevor Bruttenholm/Professor Broom (John Hurt), close to heart, fondly remembering childhood stories of King Balor (Roy Dotrice), king of the elves, his legendary, indestructible Golden Army, and the shaky truce King Balor forged between mythical creatures and humanity, which drove his son, Prince Nuada Silverlance (Luke Goss), into exile in disgust. Hellboy also still opposes the forces of darkness but continues to long for the spotlight, frustrated at being cooped up at B.R.P.D. headquarters and longing to be among the people he’s pledged to protect. While Manning generally placates Hellboy with treats like Cuban cigars, Hellboy openly mocks Manning’s orders and takes little heed in staying hidden, resulting in him dramatically revealing himself while he, Liz, and psychic Ichthyo sapien Abraham “Abe” Sapien (Doug Jones) investigate a mysterious massacre at an auction house, one that saw ravenous tooth fairies devour everyone present so Prince Nuada could retrieve part of his father’s lost golden crown.

When Hellboy’s longing for the spotlight backfires, he finds himself torn between two worlds.

Hellboy’s just as arrogant, irresponsible, and childish as ever, despite now being with Liz. She despairs of his cats, his oafish ways, and his longing to be liked and accepted by all, resulting in some tension between them as Hellboy can’t figure out what he’s done wrong. Unaware that Liz’s emotions are all over the place due to her being pregnant, Hellboy tries to win her over with his wit and recklessness, coming up short each time and leading to a drunken heart-to-heart between him and Abe after Abe falls for Prince Nuada’s sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton), and experiences his own troubles with emotion. Although Hellboy gets his wish to be in the spotlight and is initially elated to be exposed, Liz is uncomfortable with being gawked at and even Hellboy is disturbed by how the public reacts to him as they later openly hate and fear him even when he’s doing good. Hellboy feels far more comfortable in the hidden troll market, a bizarre underworld inhabited by all manner of creatures, and finds himself conflicted when Prince Nuada sics the gargantuan forest god upon him and tempts Hellboy with abandoning humanity in favour of monsters. Thanks to Professor Broom’s teachings, Hellboy stays the course, which leads to greater physical and emotional pain when the public angrily reject him and Prince Nuada mortally wounds him, forcing Liz to condemn the world to an eventual fiery end at Hellboy’s hands to save him. Hellboy is amazed to learn that he’s to “become father”, having clearly never expected that he would fulfil his beloved adopted father’s role, but is so eager to embrace the task that he quits the B.R.P.D. once the threat to the world has ended. As ever, Ron Perlman is a joy in this role, portraying Hellboy as a lovable goof who’s a little too full of himself at times, and who’s trying to do his best. He doesn’t necessarily like taking out his “own kind”, however, and is sympathetic to both sides as he walks both worlds, but always defends what is morally right for the majority in the end.

While Liz is as bland as ever, Abe shines in the spotlight faces his own romantic crisis.

Although she clearly has far better control of her powers (and better fire CGI to boot), Liz is still the weak link thanks to Selma Blair’s awkwardly wooden and vapid performance. She has no chemistry with Hellboy, or anyone for that matter, and it’s easy to forget about her or dislike her due to her temper tantrums. Despite being pregnant, she doesn’t have much to do and only really comes to the forefront when bringing the injured Hellboy to the Angel of Death (Doug Jones) to barter for his life, reversing their positions from the last film as she’s the one condemning the Earth to an apocalypse by saving her lover. On the plus side, Abe has a much larger role this time, first in accidentally discovering Liz’s pregnancy and then in how he instantly falls for Princess Nuala. While his psychic abilities, intuition, maturity, and intellect make Abe a far less volatile character than Hellboy, he’s still bashful about his feelings and struggles to express them. Hellboy tries to help him with beer and love songs, but Abe’s connection to Princess Nuala is mainly realised through their shared psychic powers. Abe is fiercely protective of Princess Nuala, despite being outmatched by Prince Nuada and his troll-like henchman, Mister Wink (Brian Steele), and somewhat compromises Hellboy’s ability to fight as any damage done to Prince Nuada is mirrored on Princess Nuala (and vice versa). This comes to a head when Prince Nuada effectively takes his sister hostage and threatens to harm her in return for the final piece of the golden crown, something Abe willingly hands over despite it meaning Prince Nuada will be able to send the Golden Army against humanity. Abe reasons that Hellboy made a similar decision to forsake the world for love in the last movie but is noticeably more naïve regarding his intentions and the trustworthiness of Prince Nuada, who never considered peace between the worlds an option.

Johann’s officious nature sees him clash with Hellboy, who struggles with the morality of his job.

Thanks to Hellboy’s recklessness, the B.R.P.D. are joined by the officious Doctor Johann Krauss (James Dodd, John Alexander, and Seth MacFarlane), a German spectre housed in a special containment suit who’s brought in to bring some order to the team. While Manning is impressed by Johann and takes every opportunity to kiss his ass, Hellboy is apathetic towards his new superior, who regards him as insubordinate, brutish, and boorish. Despite being little more than mist, Johann is more than just an intellectual as he can possess inanimate objects and even the legendary Golden Army to overwhelm foes, with this ability giving the team the leads they need to track down Prince Nuada. While we only get a vague hint towards his backstory, Johann is seen to be a very by-the-book official with little sentiment towards endangered creatures like the forest god. His concern is to the mission and the safety of humanity, though his conduct and appearance mean few give him the respect he feels he deserves. An emotional outburst from Liz triggers a core memory in Johann that sees him willingly defy orders and accompany the others to the Giant’s Causeway to save Hellboy and find Prince Nuada, and he also quits the B.R.P.D. alongside Hellboy, Abe, and Liz after rediscovering his humanity and compassion. Johann seems nonplussed at the public’s reaction towards him but is equally out of his element in the troll market, where he’s explicitly ignored by the locals. Few of these colourful creatures are forthcoming with aid towards Hellboy and the others, however, requiring physical coercion to give up clues or, in the case of the legless Bethmoora Goblin (John Alexander), a trinket to offer help.

A complex villain, Prince Nuada desperately wants to reclaim a world who beauty has been ruined by humanity.

Returning from a self-imposed exile, Prince Nuada has only grown more disgusted with humanity, whom he sees as weak, violent, and ignorant to the fantastical nature of the world. While he loves his father, Prince Nuada is repulsed by the old elf clinging to ways long forgotten by mankind and seeks to remind them of what dwells in the shadows and beneath their feet, regretfully murdering King Balor to kick-start his search for the golden crown. Despite his convictions, Prince Nuada is deeply devoted to his sister, with the two of them sharing a psychic bond and feeling each other’s pain. Even his love for Princess Nuala isn’t enough to keep Prince Nuada from slaughtering those in his way using either henchmen like Mr. Wink or creatures like the tooth fairies, or his own adept skills with a sword or spear. While Hellboy is brutish and undisciplined, Prince Nuada moves like the wind, deftly defying gravity and moving with a grace and speed that is as deadly as it is beautiful. Crucially, Prince Nuada isn’t some cackling villain; he’s deeply offended that his kind have been forgotten and wishes only for his people to rise from the shadows once more. He genuinely offers Hellboy and Abe a place in his new kingdom and is dismayed when they reject him, kill his underlings, and side with the humans, who he feels are dishonourable and unworthy of the world. Prince Nuada’s link with his sister gives him an edge, allowing him to track her, uncover the golden crown, and use her as leverage to hold off Hellboy’s attacks, but he’s more than capable of defending himself, refusing to yield even in defeat. His goal is the Golden Army, “70×70” mechanical warriors that near-instantly repair any damage and form the most formidable army ever conceived, one so awesome that it terrified even King Balor and saw him repent his destructive crusade, one that Prince Nuada seeks to resume.

A fantastic emphasis on practical effects and puppets makes this world more vibrant and tangible than ever.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is a triumph of practical effects and puppetry. Hellboy looks as great as ever lumbering about in his big trenchcoat and exuded a surprising amount of humanity behind the demonic make-up, and Abe remains disturbingly beautiful with his fish-like appearance. I liked the steampunk vibes of Johann’s containment suit, which also cropped up in the troll market and in Mr. Wink, a hulking brute who sports a detachable mechanical fist. Mr. Wink is almost a dark mirror of Hellboy, being brutish and stubborn and attacking first rather than thinking things through, which leads to his undoing. The movie places far more emphasis on the fantastical nature of Hellboy’s world, spotlighting trolls, goblins, and other forgotten mythical creatures that lurk beneath the city streets. Each is brought to life using intricate and impressive practical effects and animatronics, with Doug Jones lending his unique physicality to roles like the slender Chamberlain and the disturbing, gaunt Angel of Death, a skeletal figure with tattered dark wings sporting eyeballs! Brian Steele should also be commended for his work as the Fragglewump and other roles, while the forest elemental brought the fantasy world into the city streets with a beautiful, tragic appearance that sees Hellboy forced to blow its “brains” out, its carcass growing grass and wildflowers across the concrete jungle. Hellboy busts out a massive hand cannon to begrudgingly do this, though has surprisingly few other new toys. Hellboy still largely relies on his sidearm, massive stone fist, and a bit of luck and adaptability to get through most fights. He’s overpowered by Mr. Wink, for example, but smartly tricks the troll into getting his chain-fist stuck in a grinder. However, Hellboy’s tendency to hit first and think or ask questions later is easily exploited by Johann, who amusingly possesses some lockers to humble Hellboy, and sees him outclassed by the far more skilled Prince Nuada.

Though Hellboy stops Prince Nuada, the cost is high and he decides to rethink his priorites.

Thanks to his psychic bond with his sister, Prince Nuada infiltrates the B.R.P.D. and critically wounds Hellboy, taking Princess Nuala hostage to force them to bring him the last crown piece. An unexpected assist from Johann sees Hellboy saved and he, Liz, Abe, and Johann defy Manning’s orders and travel to the Giant’s Causeway, where the Angel of Death heals Hellboy ahead of them being led to the abandoned resting place of the Golden Army. Though shocked when Abe willingly hands over the crown piece, Hellboy and the others quickly focus on fending off the reactivated mechanical warriors, initially seeming to have a chance against the Golden Army before the group sees the robots piece themselves back together. As the only way to stop the Golden Army is for a suitable challenger to dispute Prince Nuada’s claim to them, Hellboy flaunts his status as Anung Un Rama to challenge Prince Nuada, promising Abe to leave the disgruntled elf alive to safeguard Princess Nuala. The two battle atop an elaborate clockwork set, hopping to giant moving cogs that threaten to crush them, with Hellboy being clearly outclassed by the agile prince, who bests him at every turn. However, Hellboy’s craftiness sees him catch Prince Nuada from behind and overpower him, bringing him to his knees. Though Prince Nuada demands to be executed and promises to never stop his quest to destroy the human world, Hellboy retrieves the crown and is happy to leave him alive but defeated, only for the prince to try stabbing Hellboy in the back. Thus, Princess Nuala’s forced to kill herself to stop her brother, the two dying regretfully and somewhat emotionally in Hellboy and Abe’s arms, respectively. After Liz melts the crown and the group returns to the surface, they make a point to resign from the B.P.R.D., sick of the conflict between man and monster, and Hellboy prepares to start a new life with Liz and their forthcoming twins.

Final Thoughts:
Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an absolutely gorgeous movie. Guillermo del Toro’s focus on practical effects and puppets gives every character, no matter how abnormal, a real weight and believability that is often missing from modern Hollywood. This also allows the CGI to blend far better and to make everything feel very tactile and real, increasing the stakes for the protagonists and presenting a rich world hidden behind modern society. While my experience with Hellboy’s comics is very limited, Hellboy II feels much more like a Guillermo del Toro film with its focus on the fantastical and mythological, weaving them into Hellboy’s world in a way that makes perfect sense and tests the unlikely hero as he must choose between saving a world that hates and despises him or embracing a world where he can freely be a monster. Hellboy remains one of Ron Perlman’s greatest roles and I really liked how the character struggled with the moral ambiguity of his mission, and with trying to figure out his woman and embrace a new, unexpected destiny as a father. Selma Blair remains as bland and uninteresting as ever, but I liked the extra focus on Abe and his own difficulties with emotion, and the fun antagonism between Johann and other others, which led to some amusing moments. Luke Goss was mesmerising as the tragic Prince Nuada, a villain whose motivations are entirely justified and who presents a significant challenge for Hellboy by simply being a better fighter. He’s also got a great deal of depth, truly loving his sister and their kind and regretful that it’s come to war, and convincingly tests Hellboy’s convictions. It still annoys me that we never got a conclusion for these characters and this world as I would’ve loved to see where Guillermo del Toro took them next, but I’m forever grateful that we got Hellboy II, which showcases just how creative and awe-inspiring cinema can be.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Hellboy II: The Golden Army? Did you like that Abe got more of the spotlight? Were you also amazed by the practical effects and animatronics? Do you think Prince Nuada had a point? Were you also disappointed we never got a third film? What are some of your favourite Hellboy stories? Share your thoughts on Hellboy II in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night [Friday the 13th]: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Dr. K3 Comments

Long considered an unlucky day due to superstitions involving the number thirteen and religious connotations, Friday the 13th is equally well-known as a long-running series of slasher movies. As a result, this is clearly the best opportunity to take a look at the Friday the 13th (Various, 1980 to 2009) horror series and to commemorate this unlucky and dreaded date.

Released: 13 August 1993
Director: Adam Marcus
Distributor: New Line Cinema

Budget: $3 million
Box Office: $15.9 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 15% / 23%

Quick Facts:
After years of distancing himself from his slasher franchise, Sean Cunningham returned in hopes of a crossover with the Nightmare on Elm Street series (Various, 1984 to 2010). Though it would take about ten years to see this and Paramount Pictures sold New Line Cinema everything but the franchise title, Cunningham was adamant about taking the series in a new direction after a deliberately stereotypical opening. The film was also filled with references to other horror franchises and featured a startling new look for Jason Voorhees (fan favourite Kane Hodder) courtesy of Al Magliochetti.

The Review:
Things start out very familiar in this second attempt at a “final” entry in the long-running slasher franchise. Jason Goes to Hell opens some twenty years after Jason Voorhees was believed drowned as a child in Crystal Lake. After two decades of characters either warning that Jason is alive or mocking the idea that Jason is alive, Jason’s legend has become public, with scheming news reporter Robert Campbell (Steven Culp) openly discussing Jason on his show and Crystal Lake residents like rambunctious diner owner Joey B. (Rusty Schwimmer) shamelessly profiting from Jason’s myth. This predictability and familiarity are all the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) need to trap the monstrous killer, as Agent Elizabeth Marcus (Julie Michaels) wanders about an abandoned cabin at Crystal Lake to lure Jason out. Looking more hideous and ridiculous than ever, with his mask fused to his tumour-ridden head (though with no explanation of how he returned to Crystal Lake from Manhattan), Jason is lured into an ambush. A crack squad of FBI agents pump Jason full of assault rifle fire and reduce him to flaming body parts with a mortar, seemingly ending his reign of terror and causing Crystal Lake to celebrate accordingly. This makes for a very surprising opening but it also a bad omen for things to come, as Jason Goes to Hell deviates so wildly from the formula and lore of the franchise that it’s essentially unrecognisable as a Friday the 13th film. While Campbell interviews infamous bounty hunter Creighton Duke (Steven Williams), who coyly alludes to Jason being beyond death and offers to finish the job for $500,000, Jason’s remains are taken to coroner Phil Hant (Richard Gant) at the local morgue.

Enigmatic bounty hunter Duke is the best and most wasted part of this bizarre entry in the slasher franchise.

Hant is suddenly mesmerised by Jason’s black, still-beating heart, which compels him to consume it and, in doing so, the coroner is possessed by Jason’s evil spirit! Acting through Hant, Jason immediately returns to his killing spree, offing assistant coroner Eric Pope (Dean Lorey) and two FBI guards (Tony Ervolina and Kane Hodder) before returning to Crystal Lake. Since he has foreknowledge of Jason’s abilities and knows the terrifying secret behind his curse, Duke journeys to Crystal Lake and accosts waitress Diana Kimble (Erin Gray), demanding her help in defeating Jason since she’s secretly Jason’s hitherto unknown sister! Duke’s lewd ways and notoriety see him upset Diana and anger her man, Sheriff Ed Landis (Billy Green Bush), who arrests Duke for his insolence. Undeterred, Duke patiently waits for a chance to escape and is provided one when down on his luck Steven Freeman (John D. LeMay) is brought in later in the film, having been accused of killing Diana. Desperate to protect his ex and the mother of his baby, Jessica Kimble (Kari Keegan), Stephen rises to Duke’s bait and demands answers about Jason, sacrificing two of his fingers to learn that Jason has been wearing bodies this whole time, jumping to new hosts when he wears them out, and can only be killed or reborn through his bloodline. Stephen’s exploration of the newly revealed “Vorhees” mansion suggests that Jason’s mother (or father) dabbled with the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, suggesting Jason was cursed from birth to be some kind of human/Deadite hybrid. Duke also alludes to a history with Jason, though we only get scant details of this, which is a shame as Steven Williams is easily the best part of this car crash of a movie. Charismatic and eye-catching, Duke makes a hell of an impression in double denim, long black trenchcoat, and cowboy hat, to say nothing of his knowing smirk and silky-smooth voice. While it would’ve made way more sense to bring back Tommy Jarvis (Various) or rewrite the film to focus on Duke defending Jessica and her baby, Duke is one of the franchise’s more memorable characters and it’s a pity to see him wasted and offed so unceremoniously.

The film’s crippled by uninteresting leads and a complete rewrite of the series lore.

Instead of following a self-righteous Duke on a quest for revenge, we’re left with Steven, a weedy nerd who apparently skipped town or disappeared after getting Jessica pregnant and has been trying to make amends since. While Diana wants to help the kids repair their relationship and Jessica constantly asks after him, Jessica has shacked up with Campbell and joins Sheriff Landis in condemning Steven when he’s found cradling Diana’s dead body. In fact, save for a horny hitchhiker (Kathryn Atwood), Officer Randy Parker (Kipp Marcus), and Ward B. (Adam Cranner), the entire community turns on Steven and hounds, attacks, or berates him. Having witnessed Jason murder Diana while possessing Deputy Josh Burton (Andrew Bloch) and then jump from Josh into Campbell, leaving Josh to dissolve into a gloopy mess, Steven’s desperate to protect Jessica, having learned that she’s Jason’s niece, and stunned to finally meet his daughter, baby Stephanie (Brooke Scher). Though physically no match for Jason (or anyone, for that matter), Steven constantly surprises with his quick reflexes and guts, offering his fingers to Duke in return for information, brawling with Randy, and gunning down Jason’s possessed bodies to protect his estranged family. Unfortunately for him, Jessica is not interested in associating with him, despite asking after him a few times. She refuses to see him (though is happy for him to meet Stephanie) and constantly ditches and even attacks him, despite him saving her from the possessed Campbell and desperately getting her to safety. Jessica seems to be in denial, despite witnessing horrific and unexplainable events, even when confronted by Duke at the Voorhees house and told her destiny. It’s only when Jason is horrifically reborn through her mother’s corpse that Jessica finally gets a clue and takes up the Kandarian dagger to fight off the undead menace, and only after Steven has almost been dragged to Hell that she finally shows him some affection (though I don’t blame her for shunning him as he’s a complete dweeb).

Jason’s now a demonic, body hopping force hell-bent on possessing his last family members.

Everything you know about Jason is completely turned on its head or thrown out the window in this bizarre entry, which has only superficial connections to the previous films and goes out of its way to rewrite the long-standing lore. Though still a hulking, rotting, undead killer, Jason is far more vocal than ever, grunting and even moaning constantly as he stomps about. Jason’s also now inarguably a demonic figure and his superhuman durability, strength, and regenerative powers are made explicitly supernatural, potentially due to the “Book of the Dead” (though this may have been a prop planted by Campbell…) Jason also now has an extended family, with his sister, Diana, laughably working in Crystal Lake as a waitress rather than fleeing to avoid her family name. Aside from a handful of victims who get in his way or act as hosts, Diana is Jason’s primary target as he can only be reborn through his bloodline. Otherwise, Jason jumps from bodies as a squealing, demonic slug-thing that squirms from his mouth and rapidly deteriorates any non-Voorhees. This means Kane Hodder only appears very briefly as Jason, with others assuming his mannerism as Jason hunts down his family and Jason’s true self only appearing in reflections (…for some unexplained reason). Those possessed by Jason exhibit the same supernatural strength and durability, essentially becoming zombies who shrug off bullets and bash people’s teeth down their throat and easily recover from being run over. This bizarre new ability also gives Jason some anonymity as nobody suspects his presence even when Campbell is suddenly stalking around covering blood and tossing fools aside, and Jason even inexplicably talks while possessing Randy to fool Jessica into killing Sherriff Landis, potentially suggesting the possessed have some awareness of what’s going on. Still, while the idea of a body-hopping, demonic Jason is interesting, it doesn’t align with the previous films and makes this more of a generic, slightly bonkers horror film as it lacks Jason’s iconography and depicts him so differently that he’s essentially completely different character.

Despite some gruesome gore and interesting kills, this is just another generic horror offering.

Although cut to pieces by censorship like its predecessors, the unrated/director’s cut adds a bit more blood and gore to the black sheep of the franchise. Sadly, many kills lack the same visceral appeal as others in the series simply because Jason isn’t physically onscreen doing the deed. While making his way into town, Hant-Jason detours to murder three hitchhikers picked up by Steven who camp at the remains of Camp Crystal Lake. This delivers not only one of the best sex scenes in the franchise but also one of the best deaths, as Deborah Caldwell (Michelle Clunie) is skewered through the back with a tent pole and torn in half right at the point of orgasm! Diana’s simply stabbed in the back to meet her end, but this is the catalyst for all the animosity that follows Steven, and Josh’s gruesome end more than make sup for this. His body rapidly deteriorating from Jason’s presence, Josh passes Jason’s demonic slug into Campbell and then melts from the inside out, leaving his jaw on the floorboards and reducing him to a bubbling mess of melting flesh. Campbell’s body shows signs of distress much faster than Josh’s but also goes on a far more public rampage, crashing through the police station in search of Jessica and bashing two officers’ heads in before being briefly gunned down. Campbell-Jason pursues Steven and Jessica to Joey’s diner, where he snaps Wade’s arm, smashes Joey’s face, and mutilates Shelby B. (Leslie Jordan) with the deep fat fryer before tossing him into a wall. Waitress Vicky Sanders (Allison Smith) tries to fight back with a spear, only for Campbell-Jason to impale her on it before crushing her head. Despite being positioned as the one most capable of battling Jason, Duke is disappointingly ineffectual, succeeding only in distracting Jason as he lunges for Jessica. Handicapped by a leg injury, Duke can only spit his defiance in Jason’s scabby mask and get his back broken.

A simple stab with a magic dagger and Jason is dragged to Hell forever…or for almost ten years.

Now awkwardly positioned as a quasi-Deadite, Jason’s goal here is to return to his more familiar (if more ungainly and monstrous) form, taking out anyone in his way and possessing new bodies to get close to his remaining bloodline. It’s bloody convenient that he magically has other family members to hunt down as no mention was ever officially made of there being anyone other than Jason and his mother, not to mention how convenient it is that Diana and Jessica stuck around Crystal Lake. Despite his broken fingers and being battered by former friends and Jason’s avatars, and constantly being ditched by Jessica, Steven races to the Voorhees mansion to help Jessica, who’s presented with a magical dagger by Duke and torn between who to trust when Sheriff Landis and Randy both show up claiming to help her. Unfortunately, Jessica choses poorly and Randy-Jason tries to possess Stephanie, only to be beheaded by Steven. Undeterred, Jason’s demonic slug-thing crawls out and possess Diana’s dead body (which Campbell stuffed in the basement for ratings), inexplicably returning Jason to his familiar, hockey-masked self rather than being reborn in a new body. After killing Duke, Jason targets Jessica so Steven steps in again, tackling Jason through a window and somehow going toe-to-toe with him thanks to Jason choosing to simply toss him around rather than rip his heart out. This distraction leaves Jason wide open for Jessica to stab him with the dagger, triggering an unearthly storm and ethereal light and demonic hands to pop from the ground to drag Jason to Hell. Amazingly, Jessica hesitates to help Steven when the demons grab him by proxy but eventually gets her shit together, drags him to safety, and finishes the job, watching as Jason’s dragged into the ground. While Steven and Jessica walk away, shell-shocked but having rekindled their romance, Jason’s dishevelled mask is claimed by the clawed hand of Freddy Krueger (Kane Hodder), completing Jason’s descent into the netherworld.

Final Thoughts:
A common criticism about the Friday the 13th franchise is often that it’s very predictable and rarely deviates from a set formula. While there’s something to be said about taking comfort in the familiar, it’s true that the formula got stale and tiresome over time. Ever since Jason become a zombie, the franchise has tried new gimmicks to put a spin on things, but Jason Goes to Hell goes above and beyond that by largely discarding everything that’s recognisably Friday the 13th, robbing it of the visual iconography of Jason and his tropes and presenting a far less interesting, much more generic horror film. It would’ve been so much better and made way more sense to have Jason’s mask possess others, perhaps even transform them into a version of his misshapen form, rather than have him be this weird, demon slug-thing that may or may not be a Deadite. To make matters worse, Jason Goes to Hell suddenly introduces an extended family for Jason rather than finally shedding some light on his father, forces us to follow boring-ass Steven and flaky Jessica, and completely wastes the charisma and allure of Creighton Duke by merely making him a supporting character. There was so much potential in opening some years prior with a young Duke, having him survive an encounter with Jason, and then pursue Jason’s return (through his mask), tracking down Jason’s absent father to keep him from rebirthing Jason and perhaps defending Stephanie from Jason’s ire. Or, you know, bring someone back as Tommy Jarvis instead of creating Duke so you have that in-built history. While some of the kills are nice and gruesome, Jason’s descent into Hell was absurd, resulting in a lacklustre and nonsensical “end” for the iconic slasher, who barely appeared in the movie. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday is a terrible send-off for the titular killer and seems embarrassed by the franchise, going out of its way to strip away everything that makes Friday the 13th fun and replacing it with Easter Eggs and so much nonsense that I doubt even avid fans of the franchise find much to like (and I should know!)

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Were you disappointed by Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday? What did you think of Jason’s bizarre new look and new supernatural abilities? Were you frustrated by the body-hopping gimmick or did you find it an intriguing wrinkle in the lore? Do you agree that Creighton Duke should’ve been the main protagonist? Did you buy that Jason was dead for reals this time? Which Friday the 13th movie is your favourite? Let me know your thoughts on Friday the 13th (the movie, franchise, and day), support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror content.

Movie Night [Friday the 13th]: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Dr. K3 Comments

Long considered an unlucky day due to superstitions involving the number thirteen and religious connotations, Friday the 13th is equally well-known as a long-running series of slasher movies. As a result, this is clearly the best opportunity to take a look at the Friday the 13th (Various, 1980 to 2009) horror series and to commemorate this unlucky and dreaded date.

Released: 28 July 1989
Director: Rob Hedden
Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Budget: $5.1 to 5.5 million
Box Office: $14.3 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 11% / 26%

Quick Facts:
The sequel to fan favourite entry Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (Buechler, 1988), Jason Takes Manhattan was originally conceived to return Lar Park Lincoln to the franchise before director Rob Hedden pushed to get series killer Jason Voorhees (Kane Hodder) out of his comfort zone. Budgetary concerns scuppered Hedden’s ambitious ideas and forced him to film mostly in Vancouver, meaning the film failed to deliver on its title and is largely seen as one of the worst in the franchise.

The Review:
After being trapped beneath Crystal Lake at the end of The New Blood, undead maniac Jason Voorhees has again passed into legend, spoken of as a bogeyman to locals like Jim Miller (Todd Shaffer) and Suzy Donaldson (Tiffany Paulsen). As the high school seniors canoodle on a small yacht on the clearly freezing cold lake, they have no idea that Jason’s rotting corpse is trapped below. After giving Suzy a scare with a heavily truncated version of Jason’s backstory and donning an incredibly faithful replica of the killer’s mask, Jim nonchalantly drops anchor, snagging an underwater power line and resurrected Jason through the power of electricity. Pissed after having his nap disturbed, Jason climbs aboard and slaughters the two, disconnecting the anchor and accidentally drifting away from Crystal Lake and to the Big Apple! Oh no, wait, that doesn’t happen as that would actually make sense and deliver on the title! Instead, Jason sneaks onto the nearby SS Lazarus, a steamship chartered to take Jim and Suzy’s fellow graduates to New York City. Unseen by all except a crazed deck hand (Alex Diakun), whose warnings naturally go unheeded, Jason picks off a new batch of unsuspecting and largely horny twenty-somethings teenagers. While the ship is populated by colourful, if painfully one-dimensional characters, our main protagonist and ultimate “Final Girl” is Rennie Wickham (Jensen Daggett), a somewhat withdrawn and quiet girl with a crippling fear of water. After losing her parents as a child, Rennie was raised by her uncle, Doctor Charles McCulloch (Peter Mark Richman), an uptight and demanding authoritarian who doubles as the school’s Biology teacher and is aghast when Rennie’s English teacher, Colleen Van Deusen (Barbara Bingham), encourages Rennie to make the trip to face her fears alongside her dog, Toby (Ace).

Haunted by a past encounter with Jason, Rennie struggles with her fears and overprotective uncle.

Charles is extremely overprotective of Rennie, aggressively dismissing Sean Robertson (Scott Reeves) from pursuing Rennie and shielding her at all times, often to Rennie’s detriment. Charles is so focused on laying down the law he completely misses that Rennie has a psychic connection to Jason, whom Chrles regards as a long dead superstition. It’s later revealed that young Rennie (Amber Pawlick) had a particularly harrowing experience when her uncle pushed her into Crystal Lake to force her to learn how to swim. Scared by her uncle’s warnings that young Jason (Tim Mirkovich) would drag her under, young Rennie encountered (or possibly imagined) the mongoloid grabbing her leg, leaving her deathly afraid of water and haunted by visions of the drowning Jason begging for help. This aspect isn’t explored much and seems to be a manifestation of Rennie’s fear of water rather than a true connection to Jason. It’s a bit of a shame as it might’ve been a nice twist for Jason to pursue Rennie either to silence the voices in his head or to finish the job he started as a boy, though this latter idea is equally perplexing as Jason was never trapped in the lake as a child so I assume the lake is haunted by his spirit? It’s quite muddy and open to interpretation, but also barely utilised, which is a shame as Rennie could’ve used the character development. Sean is similarly uncharismatic, simply being a handsome young man to protect and worry about Rennie. He gets some wrinkles thanks to the pressure put upon him by his father, Admiral John Robertson (Warren Munson), which sees Sean reject his father’s expectations and then unconvincingly try to maintain order once Jason’s rampage is discovered. I quite liked the close relationship Rennie shared with Coleen, who encourages her passion for writing and stands up to Charles, but none of these aspects are as entertaining or as interesting as they could be as they’re just window-dressing to the carnage.

In a boat load of one-dimensional victims, Julius shines as a charismatic stand out.

Unsurprisingly, the kids aboard the SS Lazarus are largely there to look good and die in creative (if severely butchered) ways. There are some clichés, of course, such as bitchy Tamara Mason (Sharlene Martin), who uses film nerd Wayne Webber (Martin Cummins) to blackmail Charles, purposely shoves Rennie overboard out of spite, and flaunts her sexuality in front of any good-looking guy she sees. Tamara is joined by Eva Watanabe (Kelly Hu), who initially tries to emulate her but cuts ties with her after the Rennie incident but doesn’t really do anything else. They perv on boxers Jason Newston (David Jacox) and standout character Julius Gaw (V.C. Dupree), whose whole thing is…well, boxing. Yet, Julius stands out as he defies Charles’s attempts to take control when the bodies pile up, grabs a shotgun to chase Jason, and is eager to confront two street punks (Sam Sarkar and Michael Benyaer) when they abduct Rennie in New York. Julius has far more charisma than bland-ass Sean, stealing every scene with his easy-going, snarky attitude and even daring to go one-on-one with Jason, despite being outmatched. Jason’s victims are rounded out by rocker J.J. Jarrett (Saffron Henderson), who could’ve been a cool, colourful addition but is instead reduced to being his incredibly underdeveloped first victim, and a bunch of forgettable, interchangeable students and ship workers who are either taken out by Jason or left to drown when he scuppers the Lazarus. It’s crazy that the film not only drops the ball on its title but also does nothing interesting with a boat full of horny, drunken, stoned students. We barely see them interacting in a social setting, there is no sex and barely any sexual activity between them beyond Tamara’s unsuccessful seduction of Charles, and all we ever see them do is wander the ship or react to whatever new problem Jason’s caused.

Sadly, Jason’s hampered by some butchered kills, an awful look, and by barely being in New York.

By this point, this is largely to be expected as Jason was the established star by this eighth movie. There’s no sense of dread or suspense to Jason as we clearly see him enter scenes or follow him as he stalks his prey with a hulking menace, sadly all while sporting an obvious visual downgrade from the last film. Depicted as strangely white and constantly wet and slimy, Jason sloshes his way though the ship seemingly at random, bashing J.J.’s head in with her guitar, thrusting a steaming hot sauna rock into Jason’s stomach, slitting Admiral Robertson’s throat (and leaving him propped up against the wheel for Sean to find), and stabbing Tamara with a mirror shard. Very few of these deaths are shown, of course, leaving us with a glimpse of the bloody aftermath. Much of Jason’s terror relies on jump scares as he now blatantly teleports from scene to scene to ambush his victims or get ahead of them, even when clearly seen to be some distance away seconds before. This ability is kind of fun and speaks to Jason’s unstoppable nature, but also inconsistent as he choses to pursue Rennie and Sean through New York rather than simply teleporting ahead. There are some interesting changes to Jason’s character, though, such as his legend evolving into a warning for inexperience swimmers and him apparently being both a physical force and a grotesque apparition that lurks under Crystal Lake and haunts Rennie. This child-like form constantly changes in every appearance, becoming more monstrous as the film goes on, and is always begging for help, tying into Jason as a tragic horror villain. However, this plot thread goes nowhere and means nothing. There’s no sense that Jason is trying to reunite with or destroy his boyish spirit, or that his child self is trying to help Rennie. Her psychic connection to Jason seems to lure him to her and even has him accidentally saving her from being raped, but that’s about it, making it a bizarre inclusion.

Jason meets a lacklustre end in the sewers courtesy of a flood of toxic waste.

Indeed, we’re almost encouraged to celebrate Jason’s actions, especially once the survivors reach Vancouver New York and it’s revealed just how much of a bastard Charles is. Sure, it’s sad to see Jason smash Julius’s head off and how casually he throttles Eva and shockingly (pun intended) seeing him toss Wayne’s body into the ship’s electricals, but he also murders the gang bangers who dose Rennie with…something (I assume it’s heroin?) and threaten to rape her. It takes a good hour or so for Jason to reach New York, and then another ten to fifteen minutes for him to escape the dingy docks and back alleys and stalk through Times Square. These were some great shots and it’s fun seeing Jason walk the streets, smash through a diner, and ride the subway all while barely attracting a glance from the disinterested New Yorkers. Sadly, as many have stated, Jason doesn’t “take” Manhattan in the slightest and is barely seen in the iconic city as the film spends more time pissing away the boat premise and having the survivors flee through alleys and sewers. Desperate to escape Jason, Rennie and Sean head into the surprisingly spacious sewer tunnels, only to learn that they flood with toxic waste every midnight (because…of course they do!) Since Jason decides not to employ his teleporting powers, this leads to a somewhat tense chase and a somewhat horrifying moment when Rennie tosses toxic waste into Jason’s face and leaves him a mewling, semi-skeletal wreck that’s somehow his worst unmasked appearance. As Sean and Rennie struggle with a sewer grate, Jason staggers after them, only to be swamped by the toxic waste, him somehow spewing up vile liquid and crying for his mother as he’s hit. The toxic waste melts Jason and washes his remains away, leaving Rennie with a vision of his unconscious child form to symbolise her overcoming her fears (I guess?) Rennie and Sean then reunite with Toby and are left wandering New York, apparently having defeated Jason in the most mediocre way possible.

Final Thoughts:
Fun fact: This was the second Friday the 13th film I ever saw, after Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (McLoughlin, 1986), so I’ve always had a touch of nostalgia for it. However, even I cannot defend this one. The franchise had well and truly run out of steam and ideas by this point and that’s reflected in the desperate decision to try something new. Ironically, placing Jason on a ship or in a big city could’ve been really good ideas if the film had committed to them and done them in interesting ways. I almost understand how restrictive it would be having Jason wander around New York without much purpose but promising that and then confining him to a boat was a ridiculous decision. The main portion of the film might’ve been fun if they boat had been livelier, full of sex and drink and over the top characters doing horny teenage things, all while Charles scowls in the background and Jason brutalises the kids one by one. Instead, the setting is as wasted as the city scenes, which are so obviously not in New York that it makes you wonder why the filmmakers bothered. It’s such a shame as there are some good ideas here, such as Jason’s legend having different layers, Rennie’s connection to him, and the suggestion that there’s some kind of bond between them. However, none of that is developed in a meaningful way so it feels like a waste of time, especially as Rennie is such a boring character despite her past trauma. While Kane Hodder physically embodies the role like no other, Jason looks awful here, especially when unmasked, and the kills are completely forgettable save for Julius having his head knocked off. I imagine even die-hard Friday the 13th fans struggle to defend this one, which is such a let-down in every sense of the word that you’re better off skipping it and watching any of the previous entries instead.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Do you agree that Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan is one of the worst in the franchise? If you consider it a guilty pleasure…why? Were you disappointed that Rennie’s past/psychic connection with Jason wasn’t explored more? Which of kills was your favourite and what did you think to Jason’s demise? How annoyed were you to find that Jason barely spends any time in New York? Which Friday the 13th film are you watching today? Use the comments below to tell me what you thought of Jason Takes Manhattan, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror content.

Back Issues [Sci-Fanuary]: The Fly: Outbreak #1-5

Dr. K1 Comment

January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Writers: Brandon Seifert and Denton J. Tipton – Artists: mention3 and David Stoupakis

Story Title: “The Book of Transgenesis”
Published: March 2015

Story Title: “Quarantine”
Published: April 2015

Story Title: “Metamorphosis”
Published: May 2015

Story Title: “All Hell Breaks Loose”
Published: June 2015

Story Title: “The Book of Revelation”
Published: July 2015

Quick Facts:
Published by IDW Comics, this five-issue miniseries does what director David Cronenberg and star Jeff Goldblum could not by continuing the lauded world of The Fly (1986) and its under-rated sequel, and impressed with its respect to the source material and atmospheric artwork.

The Review:
The Fly: Outbreak picks up some years after The Fly II (Walas, 1989) to find Martin Brundle now a certified PhD and still working on his father’s Telepods. Specifically, Martin has been trying to cure (or at least regress) the fly genes he transferred into his devious adopted father, Doctor Anton Bartok. Despite his genius, Martin is frustrated by failure and intimate probing from his assistant, Noelani Tanaka, who questions why he doesn’t want to have children. This sore subject rears its head later that night while Martin’s celebrating his anniversary with his wife, Beth Logan, who attempts to spice things up with sadomasochistic sex toys. Martin angrily stops this bizarre sexy time when Beth refuses to use protection but, while he insists he’s trying to protect her from his “buggy genes”, Beth takes this as a rejection and bitterly criticises him for putting barriers between them. To make things worse, Martin’s experiments “upregulated” Bartok’s insect genes, transforming him into a monstrous (if strangely beautiful) winged man-bug that rampages through the facility. Though he rejects Bartok as his father, Martin insists on confronting him, using a handy-dandy translator pad to communicate with the mutated industrialist. When Martin’s efforts to reason with the Bartockfly fail and result in bystanders being either melted by its “vomit drop” or sprayed with strange spores, Martin flees, resulting in Bartock being gunned down and Martin being covered in spores. Exposed to an unknown transgenic disease, the Army places Martin, Noelani, and the others under quarantine on North Brother Island for observation. Though Doctor Mayweather and Major Vurvin allow Martin to research the disease, the whole thing is classified so he must hack the computer system to give Beth an update.

When Bartock infects a bunch of people, a guilt-ridden Martin desperately searches for a cure.

Although Martin could reproduce the gene swapping solution from The Fly II, he refuses to sacrifice another healthy soul and largely blames himself for the infection (as do the other patients). After nine days processing everything, Noelani finally confronts Martin and he explains that he assumes the disease will manifest similar to how his father mutated. Indeed, over several days, the infected sprout coarse hairs and become euphoric, manic, and increasingly sexual alongside developing superhuman strength, stamina, and an inflated, erratic self-esteem. When Noelani interrupts Martin’s latest call to Beth (where she whips out a vibrator and starts making a show of herself!), Martin is horrified when she comes on to him and reveals she’s been infected. When he rejects her, Noelani spitefully manhandles him, berating Martin for ignoring her, forcing him to subdue her with an electric shock. Beth keeps her libido in check long enough to be devastated when a guilt-ridden Martin tells her he must focus on finding a viable cure, eventually administrating lithium pills to Noelani to calm her “unipolar mania”. Haunted by dreams of his failure, the city being overrun by Brundleflys, and the personification of his guilt and inner demons (the “Martinfly”), Martin works tirelessly, berating himself for his lack of answers and the rapidly degenerating infected. Martin’s horrified to witness this as an outsider, seeing the likes of Doctor Ross brutalise themselves rather than transform into an inhuman fly-thing, and begrudgingly taking them off their medication so the infected won’t be rational enough to take such drastic measures. When Martin refuses to use the gene swap cure or let the infected commit suicide, the increasingly spiteful Noelani gives him a first-hand instruction on fly anatomy and mating rituals and…somehow…inadvertently gives Martin the solution he’s been searching for.

When the fly-things go on a rampage, Beth tries to help but Noelani has other ideas.

However, when Martin advises using the bodies of organ donors as donor material, Dr. Mayweather and Major Vurvin immediately shoot the suggestion down since thousands of people are waiting for those healthy organs. They also angrily chastise Martin and his father for being irresponsible mad scientists who tainted science with their reckless, crackpot ideas. Although it goes against their every instinct, Dr. Mayweather and Major Vurvin order the infected to be destroyed before they can reach their final forms, only for them to hatch from their cocoons. Drinking himself into a stupor, a depressed and remorseful Martin watches as soldiers are attacked by the fly-things, which resemble the Bartockfly and easily dispose of the troops with their superior strength, wings, and acidic spit. Martin’s stunned when Beth arrives to help disguised herself as a solder, only for Martin’s nightmare to become reality as the fly-things escape the facility. Although Martin begs Beth not to shoot the fly-things (reasoning that they’ll eventually die anyway) as they were once human, she ignores him since she was the one who activated Martin’s gene swap programme and is just as guilty of mutating Bartock as he is. When they reach the dock, Martin refuses to leave and their argument about this exacerbates when Noelani (now a surprisingly loquacious and attractive alien-like humanoid) asks them to get her to the mainland. When Martin convinces her that she could be “patient zero” of a wider fly epidemic, Noelani threatens to first shoot and then melt Martin if he doesn’t perform the gene swap on her. When Martin refuses, Noelani threatens Beth and, consumed by guilt for ignoring his wife and causing Noelani’s condition, Martin acts as her donor and fires up the Telepods.

Noelani manipulates Martin and Beth to finally be recognised for her genius.

Noelani emerges whole and human while Martin regresses to the monstrous Martinfly, now psychotic and intelligent enough to speak. Martinfly immediately scoops up Noelani and considers ripping her limb from limb or digesting her a piece at a time. Amazed to find he can fly, Martinfly soars into the sky and sees the chaos he’s causes. Noelani successfully appeals to Martin’s humanity and he lets her go to help, ripping apart the fly-things and even saving Dr. Maywather. However, his animalistic side soon takes hold, pushing Noelani to encourage Beth to destroy him before it’s too late since Martin “likes being a monster” and no one would ever volunteer to restore him. Martinfly returns to the Teleport lab with one of the fly-things, now determined to perfect the breed, much like his father tried to do, by splicing Noelani and the creature into one. Beth saves Noelani and traps Martinfly in a Telepod before freeing the fly-thing, gunning it down and trusting Noelani to do the same for her after she voluntarily enters the other Telepod. Emerging as a glorious Fly Queen, Beth is horrified to find the restored Martin fatally impaled in the Telepod. Beth realises all-too late that Noelani was somehow responsible for this and takes a shot to the head. As he apparently dies, Martin provides Noelani with the key to solving the outbreak (“[using] fresh organs in place of living people”), finally acknowledging her as he passes. Several years later, Noelani has earned her doctorate and apparently become a principal figurehead of Bartock Industries, twisting Martin’s creed (“Words are just words. Actions are what count”) into her mission statement. It’s also shown that she has one of the fly-things in captivity, though there’s no hint as to why.

Final Thoughts: 
Considering how big a fan I am of the entire Fly concept, especially the remake and its sequel, I was massively disappointed by The Fly: Outbreak. On paper, the idea has a lot of promise, especially as the films never delivered on the idea of a fully grown, human/fly hybrid with wings and all that. To be fair, this was never the intention as the creatures were grotesque abominations, but there’s still an appeal in seeing a more fully formed hybrid. I also liked the idea of Martin being wracked by guilt for the state he left Bartock in and wishing to cure his surrogate father, despite his monstrous actions, without sacrificing another healthy life. This guilt consumes Martin as he knows that Bartock is suffering because of his genes, the same warped DNA that keeps him from impregnating his wife and spawning another genetic anomaly. This could’ve been a very harrowing character arc for Martin as he embraces his monstrous side once more and finally purges himself of his curse, and his guilt, to lead a normal, happy life and the ghost of this idea is peppered throughout the story, but it takes a backseat to Martin’s marital issues. While Martin and Beth had a very passionate relationship in The Fly II, I (like Noelani) never pegged her for a closeted sexual predator! Beth is so fucking horny that she disregards Martin’s concerns about contraceptives, decides the best way to take her husband’s mind off his guilt and the rapidly declining state of the infected is to play with herself over a video call, and routinely snaps at him for caring more about her safety (and his work) than her libido. It’s a very strange decision to characterise Beth this way and I’m not sure I like it as she wasn’t this sexually aggressive in The Fly II, so it feels odd. I think it would’ve been far more fitting to have her be upset because she wants children and Martin’s reluctant rather than having her strap him down and stuff a ball gag in his mouth!

Some bizarre characterisations and atrocious artwork make this an incoherent and ugly read.

This might not have been so bad if the artwork was coherent. While “mention3” and David Stoupakis do an excellent job capturing the likenesses of Eric Stoltz, Daphne Zuniga, and Lee Richardson, most other characters are hidden behind ironically bug-like gas masks and others appear like lifeless marionettes. Again, this might’ve been acceptable if either artist could draw a background! Almost every panel is framed against indistinct darkness or a murky mess of blacks, greys, and greens, making it very difficult to decipher where the characters are. The Telepod lab, for example, appears to exist in a misty void, the facility is a foggy mess, and the grounds look like they’re in the midst of an atomic explosion! It’s truly a horrendous comic to look at and I really struggled to get a sense of the space and time passing, especially in “Metamorphosis”, where the story bounces from place to place and apparently ahead in time without warning. The art is much better when depicting the fly-things but even they are a mess at times, often appearing blurred and warped so it’s hard to make out individual features. Oddly, despite Martin comparing the infected to his father, these fly-things are strong, healthy, and far more beautiful than Brundlefly and Martinfly. They can think and talk with far more logic and intelligence than they displayed during their metamorphosis, fly, and rip limbs and heads off with ease. The fly-things appears more like aliens, depicted as beautiful, elegant humanoid creatures rather than misshapen atrocities, assumedly because the disease somehow improved the mutation process (though it’s hard to tell as Martin offhandedly suggests the fly-things have a short lifespan). The image of a swarm of fly-things descending on the military should have been a powerful and horrifying visual but, instead, it’s a nightmarish blur of colours and nonsense and barely a footnote in the story since it’s more concerned with the quarantine procedure and Noelani’s ambitions.

It’s honestly difficult to tell what’s happening in this disappointing mess of a story.

I could forgive all of this if The Fly: Outbreak stuck the landing, but it really doesn’t. Things made a twisted sense right up to “The Book of Revelation”, where it all goes downhill. Noelani threatening Martin and Beth eats a lot of panels and Martin’s transformation back into Martinfly isn’t as exciting as it could’ve been as, for some inexplicably reason, he can talk but loses his humanity and compassion. While I liked the call-back to Brundlefly’s insane plot to create the “ultimate family”, it wasn’t worth tarnishing Martin’s characterisation, especially as he was seen as virtuous (if more aggressive) when he first became Martinfly. Again, maybe I could forgive this is the rest of the finale made sense, but it really doesn’t. Beth becomes a gorgeous Fly Queen (despite Bartock being horrifically mutated by the same gene swap process) only to immediately be executed by Noelani. Martin returns to normal but is somehow impaled on…something…inside the Telepod. Beth accuses Noelani of this but it’s not clear how she would’ve done it, or even why. Martin apparently dies and gives Noelani to chance to cure the others, but it’s implied she imprisoned the fly-things instead? It’s a really confusing and messy end that drags the entire story down and I still don’t understand why the fly-things turned out how they did or what the hell was going on with the ending, or Noelani. Sadly, The Fly: Outbreak is not a story I’d recommend unless you really hated Martin and Beth and want to see them bastardised and tarnished by this incoherent, ugly mess. This could’ve been a fun story of a Brundlefly outbreak and Martin having to reconcile his guilt and his mutation to get some closure. But, instead, it’s a confusing, hideously realised story that disappointed me in basically every aspect.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Do you think I was too harsh on The Fly: Outbreak or do you agree that it’s an ugly, incoherent mess? Were you also disturbed by Martin and Beth’s relationship woes? Did you also find the fly-things oddly designed or did you like seeing them flying about? Can you explain to me what the hell happened in the ending? Would you like to see more comic books continuing the Fly story? How are you celebrating sci-fi this month? Like the review and leave a comment below, check out my other sci-fi content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to support more reviews like this.

Movie Night [Sci-Fanuary]: The Thing

Dr. K2 Comments

January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Released: 14 October 2011
Director: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $38 million
Box Office: $31.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 34% / 43%

Quick Facts:
Despite being a critical and commercial failure at the time, John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) became a sci-fi/horror classic but spawned only comic books and videogames rather than a sequel. Universal Pictures eventually revisited the iconic Who Goes There? (Campbell, 1928) with a prequel to both expand upon and pay homage to John Carpenter’s classic. Despite the filmmakers utilising traditional practical effects by Amalgamated Dynamics, the studio demanded they be replaced with digital effects, dramatically changing the ending and leading to much unfair critical backlash and the cancellation of a follow-up.

The Review:
Nonsensical title aside (The Thing: Zero or The Thing: Origin might’ve worked better), The Thing is a rare example of a clever way to do a remake, even if the execution isn’t as memorable as John Carpenter’s film. The Thing is set in 1982, just like Carpenter’s movie, and follows the crew of Norwegian research station “Thule” in Antarctica, making it a direct prelude to John Carpenter’s movie. We saw glimpses of the Norwegian’s discovery and their gruesome fate in 1982 film, but The Thing expands upon what happened at Thule and even incorporates some elements from The Thing from Another World (Nyby, 1951). The film opens with the Norwegians randomly discovering a vast and ancient alien spacecraft buried deep under the ice, estimated to have been there for over 100,000 years. Though Thule houses a few scientific minds, Doctor Sander Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen) and his assistant, Adam Finch (Eric Christian Olsen), assemble a team to investigate the crash and its ejected pilot. Adam suggests recruiting beautiful palaeontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and, despite the lack of details, she eagerly agrees and is as amazed as the others are by the discovery. Although they question why the pilot would’ve ejected, geologist Edvard Wolner (Trond Espen Seim) enthusiastically organises his men to help Kate excavate the creature, which they bring to Thule in a massive block of ice. Against Kate’s warnings, Dr. Halvorson orders a tissue sample to be taken from the entombed creature, chastising her for contradicting him and arrogantly wishing to be at the forefront of the find of the century. To be fair, Dr. Halvorson does promise to credit everyone with the discovery, which he verifies is the first recorded example of an extraterrestrial visitor to Earth. Despite her unease, Kate celebrates the reveal alongside the others, including pilots Sam Carter (Joel Edgerton) and Derek Jameson (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje).

Norwegians and Americans alike are stunned to excavate an aggressive alien predator.

While inspecting the thawing ice block, Jameson is horrified when the titular “Thing” bursts free and, after a moment’s disbelief, convinces the others to search for it. When Henrik (Jo Adrian Haavind) and Olav (Jan Gunnar Røise) find the vaguely insectile creature under a building, Henrik is ensnared and seemingly devoured, splattering Olav with blood and leading the others to burn the Thing alive. The shell shocked team barely hold it together as Dr. Halvorson conducts an autopsy and finds a disturbing copy of Henrick within the mangled corpse. Against Dr. Halvorson’s wishes, Kate reviews the Thing’s tissue and is horrified to discover that the alien cells are attacking, absorbing, and replicating living tissue. Her warnings fall on deaf ears, however, as even Adam is in denial despite witnessing it for himself, meaning Kate’s powerless to stop Derek, Griggs (Paul Braunstein), and Sam from taking Olav to a medical facility (and, as Sam promises, getting military aid). However, after discovering bloody dental fillings in the bathroom, Kate rushes to flag down the helicopter, sure that someone onboard is the Thing. Turns out it was Griggs, who violently splits apart and crashes the chopper, though the others are still sceptical about Kate’s warnings, especially as the evidence has been cleaned up. Juliette (Kim Bubbs) offers to help Kate get the keys to Thule’s vehicles to keep Edvard and the others from leaving and potentially spreading the Thing’s reach, only for her to also be revealed as a Thing and kill Karl (Carsten Bjørnlund) before being immolated by the surly Lars (Jørgen Langhelle) and his flamethrower. Echoing a similar scene from the 1982 film, the survivors dig a ditch in the snow and burn all the bodies, agreeing to quarantine themselves until they can figure out who’s who using a blood test devised by Dr. Halvorson and Adam, just like in Carpenter’s film. Similarly, this test is sabotaged when the laboratory goes up in flames, which also raises tensions in the group.

While the execution is somewhat flawed, the film works as a decent prelude to the 1982 movie.

I like that The Thing largely commits to having the Norwegian characters speak in Norwegian and that it closely emulates the aesthetic of John Carpenter’s film, with Marco Beltrami’s foreboding score reminiscent of Ennio Morricone’s work in 1982. The film quality is noticeably better but the set design seems to perfectly match with what we saw in 1982, and The Thing goes to great lengths to explain how Thule ended up in the state it’s found in the previous film. Although the survivors briefly turn on and suspect each other, with Adam, Sam, and Jameson prime suspects since the former was the last person in the lab before it burned up and the latter two inexplicably survived the helicopter crash. Although the test is ruined, Kate checks everyone for fillings, leaving Adam, Colin (Jonathan Lloyd Walker), Edvard, and Dr. Halvorson suspects as they claim to have porcelain fillings. This scene isn’t as tense as the 1982 blood test but it’s a great way to show that the Thing cannot replicate inorganic material, meaning fillings and other metal implants are rejected during the absorption process. While fetching the isolated Sam and Jameson to check them, the Thing attacks and, in a bout of paranoia, Peder (Stig Henrik Hoff) is shot dead and Edvard is injured by an explosion. He’s dramatically revealed to be the Thing and goes on a rampage, infecting Jonas (Kristofer Hivju) and Dr. Halvorson killing Jameson, and gruesomely crawling over Adam to partially merge with him and create the abhorrent two-headed Thing discovered in John Carpenter’s film. After finally destroying this creature, Kate and Sam spot Dr. Halvorson fleeing in a snowcat. While Sam’s happy to let him drive off and freeze to death, Kate realises the Thing would benefit from that and that it’s heading back to the space craft, so she encourages them to pursue, relieved to find that Sam still has his ear piercing and is thus human.

While CGI isn’t as impressive as practical effects, it’s not as bad as many  would have you believe.

While there are moments of tension and suspense in The Thing, this is far more akin to a monster movie than John Carptener’s film, focusing more on large, ungainly alien abominations and giving us a bigger body count. The Thing is still an unknowable, shapeless creature that’s cunning, patient, and extremely volatile, happy to imitate a victim and bide its time. While hidden as Griggs, the Thing almost escapes and, much like in the 1982 film, many characters are infected offscreen to keep the audience guessing. The Thing is noticeably more insectile at times and far more bloodthirsty, skewering and impaling prey with its razor-sharp tentacles and devouring them afterwards rather than immediately trying to absorb them. It still detaches parts of itself, notably its hands, to attack and is particularly vulnerable to fire, especially when in the middle of imitating someone. It cannot replicate inorganic material, though, raising some questions about how it has time to get dressed after imitating someone. It still imitates people flawlessly despite this, even attacking other parts of itself to maintain the ruse and being smart enough to lure others to a quiet area to attack, though Thule is well stocked with flamethrowers and grenades. Unfortunately, as many have said, The Thing ditches traditional practical effects for CGI visuals, and the results are noticeably mixed. When I first saw it, I didn’t think it was all that bad and thought it did a decent job of capturing the same vibe as Carpenter’s film but being just different enough in fun and clever ways to be enjoyable. I still think this, and this extends to the visuals, which are still disturbingly gruesome even if the CGI can be quite dodgy and cartoony. It does mean The Thing is a little less gory at times, especially when the alien is revealing itself or attacking someone, which is a bizarre choice considering how ghastly the effects are when it splits apart and erupts into a mess of tentacles, teeth, and moaning humanoid faces.

Despite the bizarre ending, the film segues nicely into the beginning of Carpenter’s cult classic.

Kate and Sam follow the Halvorson-Thing back to the spaceship, which it activates in a bid to either return to the stars or infect larger civilised areas. The commotion separates Kate and Sam, leaving Kate to wander the highly advanced alien craft and stumble upon a glowing, geometric hologram that leaves her mesmerised for some time. This was initially a biomechanical alien pilot, not unlike the “Space Jockey”, that was originally planned to have been collecting alien samples before being attacked by the Thing. Other versions of the film had an animatronic version of this pilot (or a horrendous amalgamation of Dr. Halvorson, the pilot, and the Thing) attacking Kate for the finale. Instead, Kate stares at this weird lightshow before the disappointingly cartoonish, CGI Halvorson-Thing attacks, forcing her to find space to toss a grenade into its gaping, teeth-riddled maw. Luckily, Sam appears just in time to unload with a flamethrower, destroying the grotesque creature and shutting down the ship’s engines. Though exhausted and battered, Kate still has the wherewithal to notice that Sam is now missing his earring and burns him alive without hesitation, reducing him to a squealing mess of alien meat as the Thing is finally destroyed. While Kate heads towards a nearby Soviet base in the snowcat, pilot Matias (Ole Martin Aune Nilsen) returns to Thule from a refuelling mission and finds it in ruins, Colin having slit his wrists out of fear of being assimilated, and is confronted by a paranoid, trigger-happy Lars. After verifying that Matias is human, Largs desperately urges Matias into the chopper to pursue his fleeing snow dog, which was discovered brutally killed soon after the Thing first awoke, perfectly tying the end of this film into the beginning of John Carpenter’s The Thing…

Final Thoughts:
I’ve always been a big fan of John Carpenter’s The Thing, even if it can drag a bit in the middle. It’s a fantastic example of horror, paranoia, and gruesome practical effects that would be difficult for any film to emulate. Rather than try to remake John Carpenter’s cult classic, The Thing opts to act as a companion piece, a prequel to show what happened at Thule before the 1982 film. In that respect, I maintain that The Thing does a decent job. The attention to detail in the set design and the fates of Thule’s residents is admirable, revealing that these twisted, mangled corpses were once people driven to desperation and paranoia or overtaken by a violent alien organism. I really liked the abundance of subtitles and Norwegian being spoken and it made sense to bring in some Americans as Thule wasn’t equipped to properly excavate or study the Thing. I adore Mary Elizabeth Winstead and won’t hear anything against here. Kate was a forthright and level-headed character who kept her cool, even when being attacked by the Thing, and came up with practical solutions. Joel Edgerton is no Kurt Russell, though, and most of the other characters are interchangeable and forgettable compared to those in Carpenter’s film, but I liked the smarmy, arrogant Dr. Halvorson, who seemed to be channelling the equally egotistical Doctor Arthur Carrington (Robert Cornthwaite) from The Thing from Another World. While I don’t think the CGI is that bad, it’s true that it’s not as impactful as practical effects and appears very slap-dash, lacking the visceral horror of animatronics and puppets. The weird hologram-thing in the spaceship was a strange decision (it might’ve been better to just cut that scene) and the Halvorson-Thing wasn’t as grotesquely disturbing as the monstrous Blair-Thing, despite being more mobile thanks to CGI. I truly think The Thing is better than a lot of people think and is worthy of re-evaluation. It works really well as a double feature with John Carpenter’s The Thing and has some good moments, but even I must admit that it’s lacking compared to its predecessor and sadly missed the mark with its overall execution.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you agree that The Thing is better than most people think? Did you like that it aligned well as a prequel? Were you disappointed that much of the suspense was downplayed in favour of monster horror? Did you find the CGI disappointing and what did you think to that hologram thing? Would you like to see a new version of Who Goes There? on the big screen? How are you celebrating sci-fi this month? Whatever you thought to The Thing, comment down below and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other sci-fi films for me to review.

Back Issues [Sci-Fanuary]: The Thing from Another World #1-2

Dr. K1 Comment

January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Story Title: “The Thing (from Another World)”
Published: 1991 to 1992

Writer: Chuck Pfarrer
Artist: John B. Higgins

Quick Facts:
Published by Dark Horse Comics, known for creator-owned stories and licensed adaptations of horror and science-fiction films, The Thing from Another World continued where John Carpenter’s sci-fi classic left off but utilised the title of the celebrated 1951 adaptation of John W. Campbell’s influential 1938 novella to avoid legal issues with Marvel Comics.

The Review:
The Thing from Another World is set twenty-four hours after the team at United States Antarctic Research Outpost #31 discovered an aggressive, parasitic alien organism (the titular “Thing”) that drove them to paranoia and violence through its ability to gruesomely mimic living creatures. The comic immediately answers the question about whether or not the final survivors from Outpost #13 lived or died by showing that Childs carried the unconscious R.J. “Mac” MacReady through a bitter snowstorm and out onto the ice fields and left him to be rescued by the Misaki Maru, a passing whaling vessel. The confused and disoriented Mac is horrified to learn that Childs returned to Outpost #13 to look for more survivors, leading to him being sedated to keep him calm. When he awakens again, Mac quickly cuts himself free and dresses, pondering why Childs would save him if he (as in Childs) was infected by the Thing. Suddenly paranoid that he may be the one that’s infected, Mac quickly replicates the blood test depicted in John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982) and is relieved when he gets the all-clear, lending some credibility to the notion that the infected don’t know they’re a Thing until they’re threatened. Easily snaking around the ship, Mac (being a fully qualified pilot) commandeers their helicopter and quickly picks up Childs’ trail, which heads East rather than North towards Outpost #13. Although Mac’s forced to ditch the helicopter when he runs out of fuel, he successfully makes it back to the remains of Outpost #13, where he quickly gets to work burning the brutalised remains of his former friends.

The paranoid Mac is so determined to eradicate the Thing that he seems willing to die to do it!

Mac discovers the mangled, monstrous hibernating form of another mishmash of lifeforms and promptly blows it to pieces. However, he’s stopped from destroying the separate chunks by United States Sea, Air, and Land troops (SEALs). The SEALs were dispatched to investigate Outpost #13 but appear to have no idea of what really happened there and believe Mac murdered everyone and destroyed the base. Despite being cuffed, Mac leashes out when one of the SEALs, Pybus, curiously touches a piece of the Thing, leading to him taking a rifle butt to the head and the oblivious Lieutenant Commander Les Erskine to order that the mutilated remains be left for the bio-team. Just as the SEALs are boarding their evacuation helicopter, Pybus sprouts tentacles and mutates, firing on his stunned teammates, gunning most of them down and destroying the helicopter. Freed from his cuffs, Mac blasts the Pybus-Thing with a pistol, only for its corpse to birth a bizarre, tentacled alien that finally makes a believer out of Erskine before Mac blows it up with a grenade. After tending to their wounded, Mac and Erskine explore their options, only to find they’re out of fuel and with no hope of rescue. Erskine’s aghast when Mac reveals his plan to eradicate all traces of the Thing, including the both of them, to ensure there’s no chance of even a small part of it reaching civilisation. Erskine offers an alternative solution by holding Mac at gunpoint and ordering him to help get the wounded soldiers to a nearby research station, though they continue to clash regarding their chances and one man dies from his wounds (or the severe cold) on the way. Erskine is livid when he discovers Mac intentionally led them in the wrong direction, leading to another brief scuffle in which Erskine suspects Mac wants them to freeze to death because he’s the Thing!

Mac and Childs must set aside their differences to stop the Thing from reaching civilisation.

Their scuffle is interrupted by Childs and some Argentinians from the base, though the paranoid Mac immediately attacks Childs. After Mac is subdued, Childs confirms that he left Mac to be rescued and went back to destroy the others, though Mac remains suspicious. Mac’s horror only increases when they reach Campo Del Sur and see how many people could get infected, though Childs assures him that the Argentinians are conducting routine blood tests to stay safe. While Mac’s still hostile even after he and Childs are tested negative, he’s startled when Erskine’s unconscious trooper bursts into a bloody mass of tentacles and teeth! Though injured, the Thing quickly escapes, forcing the others to pursue and discover the gruesome remains of its latest victim. Despite Mac’s protests, Childs insists on proceeding further before the Thing can freeze and ends up almost devoured by the gigantic, cephalopod-like Thing before it’s destroyed with a grenade. Erskine urges them to return to Campo Del Sur so he can radio for assistance, leaving Mac to share his concerns about the commander to Childs. While Childs has his doubts since Erskine was so “gung-ho” about destroying the Thing, Mac’s fears are soon proven when they find three men dead in the trashed radio room. Realising that the Erskine-Thing radioed for a submarine, Mac and Childs race to intercept it, riddling the Erskine-Thing with bullets and causing it to wildly mutate. The Thing slaughters its way onto the submarine and goes on a rampage, with the sub performing an emergency dive and eventually crashing after the Thing wrecks the controls. With the submarine quickly flooding and the Thing heading for the escape capsule, Mac quickly catches the survivors up to speed and forms a hunting party and finds it in the torpedo bay. Despite Mac being ready to die to end the Thing’s threat, he objects when Childs goes to blow the hatch and end the nightmare once and for all. Childs thus destroys the submarine and all onboard except Mac, who’s inexplicably blasted from the wreckage and emerges on the frigid surface, passing out on an ice float despite his determination to stay alive…

Final Thoughts: 
John Carpenter’s The Thing ends with perhaps one of the greatest cliff-hangers in all of cinema and fans have debated for years about whether Mac or Childs have been infected or not. One of the reasons it’s such an intriguing debate is that it’s presented as a stalemate between the two. Both are equally suspicious of each other and likely to be either human or the Thing, but both are too exhausted and paranoid to do much about it but “wait and see” what happens. The Thing from Another World isn’t the only piece of ancillary media to provide a definitive answer to this long-debated cliff-hanger, but it’s equally questionable about whether these answers work or not and may come down to personal preference. On the one hand, it’s cool to continue Mac’s nightmare and to see him hunt down and destroy the Thing, and to see how he and Childs react to each other when reunited. On the other hand, it feels like a disservice to the film to provide a definitive answer and it’s possible this story could’ve been just as effective if it followed a researcher or soldier investigating Outpost #13 and perhaps working from the remains of Blair’s notes. The fact that subsequent issues double-down and continue Mac’s story only compounds the issue, though I liked that Mac was even more proactive than ever and used his traumatic experiences and first-hand knowledge of the Thing to his advantage against the shape-shifting alien. I was also intrigued by the twist that he was ready to die to ensure the alien is destroyed. However, it’s bizarre that he so vehemently objects when Childs sacrifices himself and the others on the submarine at the end, especially as Mac was ready to sacrifice Erskine in the mountains. At the same time, Mac was hesitant to murder Erskine so maybe this is just a poorly executed expansion of the fear and paranoia that have so tightly gripped Mac’s heart.

If nothing else, the comic perfectly captures the paranoia and horror of John Carpenter’s movie.

Overall, I’d have to say the artwork was very impressive, perfectly capturing the dark, desolate atmosphere of Antarctica and bringing the gore to life with intricate brushwork. It was a little difficult to make out what was going on at times, especially when the Thing reveals itself, but this may have been intentional to replicate the “less is more” approach of the movie and emphasise how chaotic it is when the infected suddenly sprout tentacles and gnashing teeth. Indeed, the art is at its best when depicting the Thing and its victims, recreating the memorable special effects of the movie and playing upon the reader’s familiarity with the film to depict the remains of Outpost #13 and the mangled corpses of its inhabitants. Mac blows up a hibernating mass of flesh and teeth that closely resembles the Thing’s final form in the film, the defibrillator scene is evoked when Erskine’s soldier suddenly explodes with tentacles and dangerous alien appendages, and we get a better idea of how capable the infected are as we see them using rifles and having the wherewithal to signal for help. The Thing from Another World also introduces a couple of additional forms for the Thing, ones possibly too outrageous and ambitious to be brought to life by John Carpenter’s paltry budget. These include a bug-like Thing, a larger one out in the snow, and the strange, bipedal mess of meat that Erskine devolves into to tear through the submarine. The only real downside is that the Things are dispatched quite easily each time, with a single grenade being enough to destroy or at least subdue them long enough for their pieces to be incinerated. The Thing still slaughters a bunch of people, to be fair, but they’re largely nameless, faceless SEALs whose deaths mean little compared to those of Outpost #13. Ultimately, this was a decent enough epilogue to The Thing, but I think it would’ve been better, overall, to avoid answering what happened to Mac and/or Childs and instead follow wholly original characters as they encounter the Thing.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever read The Thing from Another World? Were you happy to see the film’s cliff-hanger answered here or would you have preferred the story to focus on original characters? What did you think of the art work and the call-backs to John Carpenter’s movie? Did you guess that Erskine was infected? Can you explain why Mac suddenly abandoned his suicidal crusade at the end? How are you celebrating the sci-fi genre this month? Whatever your thoughts on The Thing from Another World, drop a comment down below and send me some love on Ko-Fi if you want me to review more Thing comic books.

Movie Night [Sci-Fanuary]: John Carpenter’s The Thing

Dr. K5 Comments

January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Released: 25 June 1982
Director: John Carpenter
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $15 million
Box Office: $20,847,529
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 85% / 92%

Quick Facts:
The second big screen adaptation of John W. Campbell’s iconic 1928 novella Who Goes There?, The Thing was almost helmed by horror maestro Tobe Hooper before John Carpenter got involved and pushed for a story closer to the source material. Bill Lancaster modernised the story to focus on paranoia and fear while Rob Bottin delivered the gruesome practical effects to meld numerous bizarre and horrific alien aspects into the titular “Thing”. A critical and commercial failure at the time, John Carpenter’s The Thing is now widely regarded as a sci-fi/horror classic and spawned comic books, videogames, and a divisive 2011 prequel.

The Review:
Life within the remote, frigid United States Outpost 31 is suddenly turned upside down when a couple of Norwegian researchers suddenly circle their snowed-in facility, where the isolated inhabitants wile away in the rec room or, in pilot R. J. “Mac” MacReady’s (Kurt Russell) case, swigging whiskey and being beaten at computer chess. The Norwegians are chasing a sled dog (Jed) through the snow and, when they fail to shoot it, land to try explosives. The commotion alerts Mac and his cohorts, who rush into the snow to see what’s up and unknowingly shield the dog, leading to the desperate and ranting Norwegian (Norbert Weisser) to threaten them at gunpoint after accidentally blowing up his helicopter and co-pilot. Startled, the Americans open fire, with station commander M. T. Garry (Donald Moffat) executing the Norwegian with his prized revolver. Confused by all this, Mac takes station physician Doctor Copper (Richard Dysart) to the Norwegian base, despite the inclement weather, and finds it a burned out, frozen wreck full of gruesome bodies. While Dr. Copper gathers the Norwegians’ notes to try and understand what happened, Mac discovers the frozen remains of a mysterious ice-like tomb and a charred, inhuman corpse that’s hideously malformed. They transport the remains back to base for analysis, only for microbiologist Doctor Blair (A. Wilford Brimley) to be bemused by the Thing’s malformed, misshapen biology. Still puzzled by whatever fate befell the Norwegians and the bizarre, steaming corpse sitting in their medical room, the team return to their games, pondering the day’s events and niggling each other, unaware that the sled dog has snuck into one of their rooms.

Mac and the others discover a horrifying alien parasite that assimilates anything it touches.

Sombre dog handler Clark (Richard Masur) later takes the adopted dog to the kennels, where it suddenly and violently erupts into a writhing, thrashing, screaming alien creature! Ensnaring the other dogs and spraying them with goop, it assaults the panicked dogs, drawing Clark and the others. Horrified, Mac and Garry blast the Dog-Thing and the other dogs, much to Clark’s dismay, and surly mechanic Childs (Keith David) incinerates the creature with a flamethrower. Dr. Blair’s subsequent autopsy reveals that the burned corpse isn’t a dog, but an “imitation” of one that was attempting to absorb and imitate the other dogs. Reviewing the Norwegians’ data, which includes video footage similar to the 1951 film, the crew discovers that the Norwegians discovered an alien space craft buried deep in the ice. They risk another helicopter ride to the site and find the craft, which is estimated to have crashed thousands of years ago and which was uncovered when the Norwegians used explosives, leading them to recover a frozen occupant who subsequently overran their base. Shaken by the implications, Dr. Blair runs some tests and determines that the parasitic organism aggressively latches onto and absorbs living cells, perfectly imitating any living creature it samples and sprouting teeth, tentacles, and other appendages from potentially thousands of other worlds. Realising that the Thing could overtake the entire world within three years if it reaches civilisation, Dr. Blair snaps and wrecks the outpost’s communications array and much of their equipment before he’s subdued and isolated. This leaves out of his depth assistant biologist Fuchs (Joel Polis) to pour over Dr. Blair’s mad ramblings for a solution and Garry shell-shocked when the Dog-Thing’s remains slither to life and absorb his friend, meteorologist George Bennings (Peter Maloney), forcing the others to set his half-transformed form alive and burn every trace of the alien from the outpost.

Paranoia and fear run rampant as the Thing assimilates those around it and feeds their distrust.

With radio operator Windows (Thomas Waites) unable to call for help and their vehicles trashed during Dr. Blair’s breakdown, the survivors prepare to weather an incoming storm, tensions flare when soiled long johns appear in cook Nauls’ (T. K. Carter) kitchen and the shredded remains of Mac’s clothing are found out in the snow. Dr. Copper suggests they use the blood bank to test who’s human and who’s the Thing, but this is scuppered when someone destroys the blood bank and they descend into arguments and finger pointing when this is discovered, accusing Garry since he’s the only one with the keys and Dr. Copper since he regularly accesses the blood. The distrust being thrown around knocks Garry’s confidence and, after a tense showdown with Windows when he frantically grabs a shotgun, Garry relinquishes his revolver and command to Mac. While Mac tries to hold the group together, being the coolest and most logical head despite his growing fear and paranoia, the others descend into anger and distrust after Fuchs is mysteriously burned alive and any chance of employing Dr. Copper’s blood test. However, but soon decide Mac is the most untrustworthy  and strand him in the blizzard. They’re even more convinced he’s the Thing when he stumbles back to base without a guideline and, enraged by their betrayal and wracked by the cold, Mac threatens to blow them all up with dynamite if they don’t listen to reason. The tense standoff sees Mac and Childs clash and Clark, also a chief suspect due to his close proximity to the dogs, ready to shank Mac at the first opportunity. During the scuffle to disarm Mac, terrified geologist Norris (Charles Hallahan) is tossed aside and seemingly dies from a heart attack, only to be shockingly revealed to be the Thing! This revelation does little to allay Mac’s suspicions and, after the ghastly Norris-Thing and its offspring are incinerated, Mac forces those he begrudgingly trusts to tie up those he doesn’t and ventures that their blood with violently react to a hit needle if they’ve been assimilated.

Recovered from a crashed ship, the Thing is a hideous amalgamation of various organisms.

Rather than being a strange vegetable creature, the titular Thing is a parasitic organism like in the book. Although we see its flying saucer crash to Earth in the pre-title sequence, there’s no way of knowing if the Thing was the pilot or was simply held captive on the ship (though I’d venture to say the ship crash-landed after the Thing broke out). The Thing has no true form and instead hides behind imitation, perfectly replicating living creatures and even mirroring their personalities, to the point where the assimilated seem unaware that they’re the Thing until they’re threatened. Assistant mechanic Palmer (David Clennon), for example, appears completely human until Mac performs his blood test, whereupon Palmer violently explodes into bloody, gnashing jaws. Norris also appears normal, even tackling Mac alongside the others, until he appears to die and Dr. Copper performs CPR and Norris’s chest splits open and rips his arms off! The Thing’s only goal is to assimilate and procreate everything it can, picking off potential threats and fighting to survive when threatened. Although it appears inhumanly strong and durable, shrugging off shotgun blasts and easily manhandling Windows, it’s not invulnerable. Fire is especially effective, as is dynamite, with the creature being most vulnerable mid-transformation, as seen with the Bennings-Thing. Rather than being a singular organism, every cell of the Thing is alive and thinking, allowing it to disgustingly detach part of itself when the main “body” is destroyed and meaning it can infect multiple targets at once. The Thing is also seen to be very shrewd and intelligent, allowing the survivors to waste their energies on paranoia and accusations rather than formulating strategies, and having intelligence enough to cobble together a miniature flying saucer in the case of the Blair-Thing. The Thing is also incredibly patient, happy to let the humans destroy themselves and hibernate in the snow until the rescue team arrives and then assimilate them…and the rest of the world, in short order.

Although Mac destroys the Blair-Thing, there are lingering questions about who can be trusted. 

When Mac’s blood test outs Palmers and leads to him and Windows dying, a slither of trust is reignited as the cleared survivors go to test Dr. Blair. However, they find he’s built a small flying saucer and tunnelled his way out, revealing himself to also be a Thing. After the Blair-Thing destroys the outpost’s power generator, Mac realises it’s willing to outlast them in the cold to escape and that they’re unlikely to make it out alive without any heat and rescue far away. Resolving to keep the Thing from reaching civilisation, Mac and the others prepare to bring the whole outpost down by setting dynamite charges. However, paranoia rears its ugly head as Nauls and Childs go missing; the Blair-Thing also ambushes Garry in the tunnels, leaving Mac alone. The Blair-Thing then spectacularly erupts from the floor as a massive, mewling amalgamation of repulsive alien and vaguely animal parts in a fantastic combination of practical effects, stop motion techniques, and puppetry. While the monstrous Blair-Thing is quite lumbering and mainly just stands there roaring, its tentacles whipping about as it emits that disturbing hissing, it devours Mac’s detonator and seems poised to take him. Defiant until the end, the rugged, exhausted Mac tosses a stick of dynamite at the creature and destroys it, along with the entire outpost. Barely escaping the blast, Mac stumbles through the burning debris and finally collapses from fatigue, whiskey in hand. Childs emerges from the blizzard, claiming to have gotten lost while pursuing Dr. Blair, and sits with him, both too tired to argue or to fight. Realising the flames will die out soon and they’re likely to perish from the cold, the two acknowledge the futility of their situation and their mutual distrust and resolve to simple share a drink and wait to see what happens, leaving their ultimate fate up to the audience…

Final Thoughts:
John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the quintessential remakes of all time. While the original film was an ambitious B-movie that took huge liberties with the source material, The Thing stays very close to Who Goes There? in its interpretation of the titular alien parasite and the destructive paranoia that tears the humans apart. There’s a sense that many of the characters barely tolerated each other to begin with, meaning tensions fray very quickly once they realise the Thing can perfectly imitate them down to their memories and behaviour. The film perfectly conveys this by rarely, if ever, showing who’s been assimilated and when, meaning we never really know who to trust as everyone – even rugged protagonist Mac – is a suspect. It’s thus shocking when characters turn out to be human or suddenly explode into a thrashing, shrieking mess of flesh and teeth and even destroying the Thing and performing tests doesn’t stamp out the unease felt by the survivors. Kurt Russell did a great job as reluctant leader Mac, who seems ready to pack it all in at a moment’s notice. I liked his heated rivalry with the immortal Keith David and how easily he took charge, and how physically and emotionally exhausted he was by the whole ordeal. Some aspects, like Dr. Blair’s computer simulation, are rather quaint but they get the job done and the gruesome special effects more than make up for them. The Thing is constantly sprouting new appendages and forms and surprising audiences by springing to the ceiling, becoming a scurrying spider-like head, or clamping down on its prey with its massive teeth. It’s a spectacularly ghastly creature that’s nauseating to look at as you never know what it’s going to do next as it clearly retains knowledge of other alien creatures and is a highly adaptable and versatile parasite. The ending may be one of cinema’s greatest cliff-hangers and the simple story of distrust and desperation remains as palpable as ever, making John Carpenter’s The Thing a timeless sci-fi/horror classic that’s difficult to beat.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Do you agree that John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the greatest remakes of all time? How do you feel it works as an adaptation? Which character were you most surprised to find out was human (or the Thing)? Did you enjoy Kurt Russell’s performance and his rivalry with Keith David? How amazing were those gruesome special effects? How did you interpret the ending and what sci-fi films are you watching this month? Use the comments below to hap some praise on John Carpenter’s The Thing and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other sci-fi films you’d like to see me cover.

Movie Night [Sci-Fanuary]: The Thing from Another World

Dr. K4 Comments

January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Released: 27 April 1951
Director: Christian Nyby
Distributor: RKO Radio Pictures

Budget: $9 to 15 million
Box Office: $1.1 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 87% / 73%

Quick Facts:
Based on celebrated, influential novella, Who Goes There? (Campbell, 1938), The Thing from Another World was loosely adapted by Charles Lederer, Howard Hawks, and Ben Hecht. The titular “Thing” (James Arness) became a plant-like humanoid thanks to extensive make-up later replaced with an asbestos suit for an ambitious fire stunt. Though very different from the novella, The Thing from Another World is considered one of the best movies of the 1950s and inspired one of the greatest remakes ever made in 1982.

The Review:
While searching for his next big story in Anchorage, Alaska, “newspaper man” Ned “Scotty” Scott (Douglas Spencer) bumps into old friend, pilot Lieutenant Eddie Dykes (James Young) of a United States Air Force re-supply crew, at an officers’ club and meets his cohorts: gruff Captain Patrick Hendry (Kenneth Tobey) and flight navigator Ken “Mac” MacPherson (Robert Nichols). When noted scientist and Nobel laureate Doctor Arthur Carrington (Robert Cornthwaite) radios in a vague call for aid at a North Pole research camp, Captain Hendry and his jovial crew are ordered to assist, flying some hands, sled dogs, and the eager Scott out to investigate Dr. Carrington’s ambiguous concerns about a mysterious aircraft. Upon arriving at the Polar Expedition Six outpost, the stern but amicable Captain Hendry bristles to reunite with the gorgeous and playful Nikki Nicholson (Margaret Sheridan), who’d previously humiliated him in a drinking game and turned down his handsy advances. Though flustered by her mischievous nature, Captain Hendry is obviously as attracted to her as she is to him and they enjoy a fun back-and-forth throughout the film that’s as entertaining as the banter between Captain Hendry, Lieutenant Dykes, Mac, and Scotty. The crew are clearly friends as much as co-workers and express their affection through light-hearted banter, teasing Captain Hendry for his drinking habits and past blunders, only for him to jokingly threaten them with guard duty and other empty threats. There’s a unique approach to dialogue and interactions here as characters talk over each other and converse very bluntly, making every scene feel ad-libbed (except for Dr. Carrington, who expresses himself with a theatrical guile) and the relationships between the characters feel far more personable and natural as a result.

A remote outpost discovers a humanoid alien that goes on a rampage once accidentally dethawed.

After meeting with the other scientists and civilians stationed at the outpost, Captain Hendry flies his crew, Dr. Carrington, and others to the crash site, only to discover a genuine flying saucer buried under the ice! Rather than wait for approval from his commanding officer, Captain Hendry orders thermite charges to be placed around the site to melt the ice, accidentally destroying the craft when the explosives react violently to the hull. Though Dr. Carrington is aghast by this, his excitement soon reignites when they discover a large humanoid “Thing” buried nearby. This time, the team dig it out and take it to the outpost, though Dr. Carrington’s frustrated by Captain Hendry’s insistence that they await further orders before defrosting or investigating their strange guest. Scotty is similarly irritated to be barred from reporting what they’ve found, seeing the discovery as the story of the century and eager to share it, as Captain Hendry is anxious to avoid another blunder. As the team hunker down against a blistering storm and take shifts watching the creature, Corporal Barnes (William Self) becomes unnerved by the Thing’s gaze and accidentally thaws it out after covering it with an electric blanket he didn’t realise was plugged in. The Thing awakens, briefly runs amok through the outpost, and flees into the storm, attacking the sled dogs and losing some of its arm before disappearing. Upon investigating the severed limb, the resident scientists conclude that the creature is a bizarre humanoid plant that feeds on blood; the hand even reanimates after absorbing some of the dog’s blood staining it. Dr. Carrington slowly becomes obsessed with the creature, believing it to be intellectually and physically superior to man and wishing to learn its secrets, only for Captain Hendry to repeatedly shoot down his insane requests and prioritise saving lives over reasoning with a mindless creature.

Captain Hendry and Dr. Carrington disagree on how best to handle the bloodthirsty Thing.

The titular “Thing” is seen sparingly, which I was surprised by. After its initial awakening, the creature vanishes and the film focuses on the research into its nature, barricading the outpost against further attacks, and searching for the creature before it can strike again. It’s still active in the background, but we only hear about it from shellshocked survivors and through dialogue. Unlike the shapeshifting, nebulous alien Thing from the book and subsequent outings, the Thing is a towering, humanoid “Martian” more like a vampire than a voracious extraterrestrial. The survivors discover a sled dog drained of its blood and hear from the traumatised Doctor Stern (Eduard Franz) that the creature attacked the outpost greenhouse, killing everyone and hanging them from the rafters to drain their blood, which would’ve been gnarly to see. Captain Hendry is surprisingly calm about the entire situation and there are no instances of paranoia or cabin fever among the survivors. The only conflict comes from the scientists who wish to defend and study the creature and the military who wish to kill it. Captain Hendry is horrified to learn from Nikki that Dr. Carrington, who’s been going without rest since the Thing was discovered, has been feeding blood samples to seeds from the creature’s arm, producing alien plants that has the airmen speculating that the Thing came to conquer the world. Thanks to the storm, communicating with Brigadier General Fogerty (David McMahon) and the outside world is spotty, at best, resulting in Captain Hendry receiving a bunch of one-way messages and orders to fortify the outpost and survive but leave the creature unharmed. Seeing the threat the Thing poses, Captain Hendry naturally disregards these orders, and Dr. Carrington’s mad objections, and has the Thing doused with kerosene and set alight when it next attacks. Despite the Thing going up in flames, it wildly lashes out and almost burns the outpost down before escaping into the snowstorm.

Despite Dr. Carrington’s objections, the Thing is destroyed and Scotty submits a dire warning to the world.

While recovering, the survivors are horrified to learn that Dr. Carrington’s musings about the creature’s intelligence are at least partially true as the Thing sabotages the outpost’s heating system, threatening to freeze them to death within hours. Surmising that the Thing will target the electricity next, Captain Hendry corrals all the survivors into the generator room and the airmen take an offhand suggestion from Nikki (“Boil it, bake it, stew it, fry it”) to heart, rigging a high voltage “fly trap” to electrocute the creature in a narrow corridor. Seemingly sensing their blood, the Thing crashes through their makeshift barricade and stalks its way towards them, noticeably avoiding the wires hidden beneath the pallets on the floor. Although Dr. Carrington attempts to sabotage the plan by shutting the generator off at a crucial moment, he’s easily disarmed and briefly subdued, but Captain Hendry’s forced to wait for the hulking Thing to position itself correctly on their trap. Dr. Carrington rushes to it, pleading for reason and to begin a dialogue, only to be roughly shoved aside and left with a broken collarbone. Despite its immense size, strength, and durability, the Thing blunders into position and is zapped by a few thousand volts in a surprisingly ambitious light show. Captain Hendry keeps the juice poured on until the Thing is reduced to a smouldering pile of ash, though Scotty faints before he can get a clear shot of the creature. The survivors round up all remains of the Thing and burn those, too, before treating their wounds and decompressing as the storm dies down. While Captain Hendry and Nikki tease taking their relationship to the next level, Scotty finally gets to call in his story, eagerly painting a dramatic picture of the pitched battle fought at the outpost and warning his listeners to “Watch the skies everywhere. Keep looking. Keep watching the skies…”

Final Thoughts:
Although I’m a big fan of John Carpenter’s 1982 remake of Who Goes There?, I’ve never read the book or watched this original adaptation, though I gather it’s a very loose one with only the basic elements of the story being represented. Most notably, the titular Thing is very different from the source material and subsequent adaptations, being more akin to Frankenstein’s Monster than a shape-changing organism. I’m not surprised by this as I doubt the technology existed to bring the creature to life in a more faithful way and it makes sense to reimagine it as a hulking, humanoid alien given where sci-fi was at the time. I liked the twist that it was essentially a walking vegetable and like a vampire, feeding on blood and growing alien plants from its seeds, potentially to overrun the world. I would’ve liked to see this emphasised more, perhaps to see the Thing’s spores spread throughout the outpost and maybe infect those within to bring in some of the paranoia from the book and definitely would’ve liked to see more death and destruction from the disappointingly absent creature. Luckily, the relationships and banter between the characters is more than enough to sustain the film in the Thing’s absence, with Captain Hendry and his men having very enjoyable and realistic interactions. I really liked that the actors kept talking over each other and the banter between the characters, which was nicely contrasted with Dr. Carrington’s objections. He was a very theatrical character but, again, felt somewhat underutilised and I would’ve liked to see him sabotaging their efforts more. Despite all this, and the film being oddly paced and lacking in urgency, The Thing from Another World was still quite enjoyable and somewhat ambitious at times. It’s a great example of a classic, 1950s sci-fi flick that is perhaps a little dated these days, far surpassed by its remake, and arguably lacking compared to some of its peers, but it still has a charm and appeal that make it an entertaining watch.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Did you enjoy this first adaptation of Who Goes There? If you’ve read the book, what did you think to the changes made to the story? Did you enjoy the banter and interactions between the characters? Do you agree that the Thing should’ve featured a lot more? Do you think Dr. Carrington was right to want to communicate with the Thing? How are you celebrating sci-fi this month? Whatever you thought to The Thing from Another World, comment down below and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other sci-fi films for me to review.

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Terrifier 3

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 11 October 2024
Director: Damien Leone
Distributor: Cineverse / Iconic Events Releasing
Budget: $2 million
Stars: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Antonella Rose, Samantha Scaffidi, and Elliott Fullam

The Plot:
Supernaturally reborn Art the Clown (Thornton) and his demonic cohort, Victoria Heyes (Scaffidi), torment traumatised Sienna Shaw (LaVera) and her family at Christmas.

The Background:
The fear of clowns (or “Coulrophobia”) crops up a lot in horror and reality, largely thanks to fictional “Evil Clowns” like Stephen King’s Pennywise and twisted psychos like John Wayne Gacy. Though I’ve never found clowns particularly scary, writer and director Damien Leone touched upon Coulrophobia with The 9th Circle (2008), a short film that featured a prototype of Art the Clown (Mike Giannelli). Though merely a supporting character, Art was popular enough for Leone to bring him back in Terrifier (2011) and All Hallows’ Eve (2013), and to expand the character into a modern-day slasher icon in Terrifier (2016). Though a modest success met with largely positive reviews (especially for David Howard Thornton’s performance and the sickening gore), Leone was dissatisfied with some his characterisations of the protagonists and sought to address this in the 2022 sequel. Weathering criticisms about its brutal content, Terrifier 2 was a critical and commercial success and Leone was excited to add additional nuance to Samantha Scaffidi’s returning character. Leone also gave wrestler Chris Jericho additional screen time, reaped the benefit of a vastly increased budget, and sought to emulate John Carpenter by shooting the film with Panavision anamorphic lenses. With a $90 million box office, Terrifier 3 was the most successful of the franchise at the time, and the reviews mirrored this. While the narrative and extreme content continued to be criticised, critics praised the ever-expanding lore and characters, with many reviews lauding the various complex and captivating performances, and this success all-but ensured the continuation of the controversial slasher franchise.

The Review:
Terrifier 3 opens with pure, unadulterated shock value: a home invasion around the festive season where Art’s dressed as Santa Claus and which establishes the slightly different direction of the film. Namely, Leone relies far more on long, lingering shots and a tense build-up to the brutal gore. Thus, we follow cute youngster Juliet Thomas (Luciana VanDette), who’s awakened by the sounds of commotion on the roof she adorably believes is Santa. While her mother, Jennifer (Krsy Fox), encourages her imagination to get her back to sleep, neither her father or brother (Mark (Alex Ross) and Timmy (Kellen Raffaelo), respectively) have any time for her wild claims. Juliet’s ecstatic when she creeps downstairs and sees Santa lingering near the family tree, but enters a state of awestruck shock when Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick pulls out a fire axe and tip-toes upstairs to hack Timmy to death (off camera, but still rather shocking) and brutalise Mark. Yes, it’s Art the Clown in his newest festive guise, as spiteful as ever. He relishes Jennifer’s screams as he bludgeons Mark and gleefully chases her downstairs before caving in the distraught mother’s head. Art then helps himself to milk and cookies and even does the dishes. Art spies Juliet hiding in a kitchen cupboard, though her fate’s ultimately left ambiguous and I wouldn’t be against seeing her return in a future film. This opening is extremely unsettling, mainly because it’s easy to imagine it happening. Mark tends to leave the front door unlocked and ajar and he and his son are slaughtered before they even knew what hit them. To say nothing of Jennifer’s horrified reaction to her son’s body parts strewn around his bloodstained room and the trauma Juliet suffered as she tries to comprehend the horror happening before her eyes. It’s extremely effective, mainly because of the time Leone takes to build anticipation and the way he teases us with bits and pieces of the kills. I am surprised that Terrifier 3 didn’t go the whole hog and show Art hacking a child to death, considering the franchise isn’t exactly known for pulling its punches.

Traumatised by her encounter with Art, Sienna struggles to realise her seemingly divine destiny.

A security guard (Chris Jericho) at the mental hospital where the horrifically disfigured Victoria Heyes has been incarcerated since the first movie then stumbles open the scarified wretch consuming a nurse, Art’s disembodied head joining in and connected to Victoria by a ghastly umbilical cord! Victoria lets out a plea for help that appears to be her last gasp of sanity and humanity before the demonic force (the “Little Pale Girl” (Amelie McLain) from the last film) possesses her. The demonic Victoria then cheerfully joins Art in tearing the guard’s head to pieces, Art’s headless body having sprung to life and travelled across town after ripping off a cop’s (Stephen Cofield Jr.) head. This reanimation and possession seems to exhaust them as they travel to an abandoned house and enter a strange hibernation, Art reclining in a rocking chair and Victoria slitting her wrists in a bathtub, where they wait for five years. It’s not entirely clear why: potentially exhaustion, as I said (Art seems visibly annoyed with Victoria’s antics, as though cranky and needing a nap) or possibly because the dark power of the Halloween season is leaving them. Regardless, they lie dormant and the “Miles County Clown” becomes a modern-day myth discussed on true crime podcasts like Mia’s (Alexa Blair Robertson), a fangirl who’s hooking up with Jonathan’s (Fullam) roommate, Cole (Mason Mecartea). We catch up with Sienna as she’s being discharged from five years in therapy following her bizarre and brutal encounter with Art. Jonathan, however, is in college and seemingly happy to survive on a diet of denial, pills, and isolation, despite initially being so obsessed with demonology and possession that he wrote Sienna letters about his wild theories regarding Art, the demonic forces behind him, and the strange, seemingly angelic destiny bestowed upon Sienna by their father, artist Michael Shaw (Jason Patric). With her mother dead, Sienna stays with her aunt and uncle, Jess (Margaret Anne Florence) and Greg Shaw (Bryce Johnson), though their compassion wanes as Sienna becomes agitated and aggressive after first sensing Art’s presence and then receiving conformation that her tormentor is still alive.

Though Sienna tries to find peace with her extended family, Jonathan remains in denial.

Sienna is very different from the last movie but is initially determined to get back on track and rediscover herself by rekindling her sisterly relationship with her cousin, Gabbie (Rose). Gabbie is in awe of Sienna and looks up to her as an idol and older sister, admiring Sienna’s scars and reading her journal, a private musing of the nightmares that still haunt our traumatised heroine. Sienna tries to rebuild bridges with Jonathan using the festive season and is dismayed to find her little brother deep in denial and refusing to believe that Art is still alive. Despite her years of therapy, Sienna is still very fragile; she relies on medication to sleep and is shaunted by screams and visions from her experiences. She’s either hearing the dreaded “Clown Café” jingle or seeing delusions of her brutalised best friend, Brooke (Kailey Hyman), feeding her survivor’s guilt and leaving her a neurotic mess. However, as good as LaVera continues to be, I would’ve liked to see more emphasis placed on Sienna’s fractured mental state. Brooke could’ve shown up more, for example, and Sienna’s scars could’ve been more prominent. Her relationship with Gabbie was adorable, though, and there’s a sense that Sienna relies on this normalcy to move on from her past, but Sienna is quick to anger when Mia badgers her and erratically lashes out at Jonathan when he seemingly turns his back on her, unaware that he’s hiding his panic attacks. Terrifier 3 delves a little more into Sienna’s past where, as a child (Luciana Elisa Quiñonez), she was doted on by her father, who depicted her as an angelic warrior. Jonathan also claims Sienna was “chosen”, presumably by angelic forces seeking to counterbalance the demon that possessed Art and Victoria, and the film teasing with a bizarre nightmare depicting the statuesque Virgin Mary (Juliana Lamia) forcing a bound demon (Michel Vidal) to forge Sienna’s magical sword.

Joined by the demonic Victoria, Art’s more supernatural and malicious than ever.

Though he may have started as a theatrical, but still mortal, serial killer, Art has become something far worse. He was essentially supernatural in Terrifier 2, but it’s taken up a notch here, with his headless body lumbering about and killing and his disembodied head being reborn through Victoria. Yet, though Art can reattach his head, shrug off bullets, and hibernate for years, he still feels pain when attacked by Sienna and her sword, and his abilities remain rooted in his bag of tricks (now given a festive makeover). Art cobbles together a liquid nitrogen spray device and later boobytraps gifts with a homemade bomb, and cosplays as Santa seemingly on a whim. He spots Charles Johnson (Daniel Roebuck) drinking in a bar and excitedly accosts him, believing he’s the real Santa, only to steal his outfit and leave Johnson a frigid, bloody mess. Art delights in luring victims with his festive guise, enjoying the same degree of anonymity his clown outfit gave him at Halloween, making his horror even more visceral since he targets children. Art’s joined by Victoria, a demonic presence who literally (and gruesomely) gets off on Art’s antics. Although Victoria’s very loquacious, she’s very aloof about who and what they are. Jonathan’s theory that the demonic force possessed the worst person imaginable (a serial killer) and is seeking to inhabit another, stronger body seems as true as his belief that Sienna’s been “chosen” to oppose these forces. Victoria first mocks Sienna’s status as a saviour then compliments her strength, and then literally tries to break Sienna by murdering what little family she has left so she (as in Victoria) can forcibly possess her. Unfortunately, this finale kind of relegates Art to Victoria’s henchman as she dictates the torture and is presented as something of a puppet master. It’s only a fleeting suggestion and the two are depicted more as equals when they do appear onscreen, but I would prefer Leone steer away from diminishing Art like that in future instalments.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’m not going to get into a debate about whether or not Terrifier 3 is a Christmas movie. It’s set during the festive season, there are Christmas trees, mall Santas, presents, and trappings everywhere, and Art’s going around dressed as Santa, which is enough for me! I will, however, debate the evolving lore. While it seems like Leone is simply making up the story as he goes, suggesting things that may or may not be relevant in the future, there’s a strong suggestion of biblical forces at work. Jonathan believed the Little Pale Girl was the key to it all the film suggests that Art was once a serial killer who, upon his death (either in Terrifier or before), was possessed by a demonic force like the demon in Victoria. Someone, presumably angels or another divine presence, then seemingly chose Sienna to counter these forces and worked through her father to prepare her for this destiny, bestowing her with a magical sword forged by a captive demon. However, while this is said to be the only weapon capable of stopping Art and Victoria, Art still recovered after being beheaded by it and he survives another stabbing from the blade here, though the sword does heal Sienna’s wounds. Sienna previously fell down some kind of Hell hole in Terrifier 2 and another pops up here to swallow Gabbie and the sword, and Sienna’s haunted by memories of the Clown Café, an unsettling upbeat corner of whatever Hell these demons are from that seemingly relishes the suffering of others. It’s intriguing and there are some interesting visuals and suggestions here, though Terrifier 3 stubbornly refuses to provide any explicit details, perhaps to maintain a sense of mystery or perhaps because Leone hasn’t figured out how it all fits together yet. Instead, the film uses it as a backdrop to Sienna’s fractured mental state, which leaves her on edge and tormented by nightmares, though I would’ve liked to see more of these so we could get a better sense of how much she’s struggling with her guilt.

The film certainly delivers the brutal kills you’d expect, though with more suspense than before.

Terrifier 3 had an uphill battle trying to top the last film’s gruesome kills and, perhaps in recognition of this, puts more effort into building tension before Art strikes. Naturally, there are exceptions: Art’s headless body pounces upon the cop that discovers it, for example, Victoria viciously stabs an unassuming exterminator (Michael Genet) through the neck with a shard of glass, and Art opts to simply gun down the bar patrons before torturing Charles. Interestingly, some kills are kept off-screen: we never see what Art and Victoria do to the Art cosplayer (Peter Mitchell), for instance, and both Greg and even Jonathan die off camera. This was an odd choice for me, and it felt like some scenes were cut from the movie, so jarring was their end, to the point where I’m assuming Jonathan is either still alive or we’ll get a flashback in Terrifier 4. Of course, there’s plenty of onscreen brutality and it’s just as macabrely fascinating and disturbing. While Art starts rather pedestrian with a fire axe, he and Victoria are soon ripping Chris Jericho’s jaw off and it’s not long before demented clown is slicing through another exterminator’s (Jon Abrahams) head with a Stanley knife and ripping his skin down his skull! Art’s particularly proud of his liquid nitrogen contraption, which he uses to flash-freeze Charles’ leg, hand, and face before bashing the limbs with a hammer and ripping his beard off. The film’s standout kill sequence sees Art attack Cole and Mia in the college showers with a chainsaw, cutting through bone and muscle and leaving Mia a gibbering mess of sliced meat as he grants her wish to be face-to-face with pure evil. Cole gets the worst of it, having half a hand chopped off, then his leg severed in sickening fashion, before being sliced up the rear and then from the groin to his belly, leaving him little more than steaming meat on the tiles. While it’s truly bizarre that Jonathan’s supposed death happens offscreen, it leads to a particularly ghastly end for Jess as she gets a plastic tube hammered down her throat and is forced to swallow rats before having her throat cut. It’s a scene eerily similar to a sequence form American Psycho (Ellis, 1991) and one that, again, I feel could’ve been even more extreme, like the rats could’ve come clawing out her nether regions or something!

Although Sienna dispatches Victoria, Gabbie falls to Hell and Art escapes into the night…

Perhaps the most distressing kills, however, are those that befall the unsuspecting children fooled by Art’s disguise. After posing as Santa at the mall, Art leaves a bunch of kids and their parents splattered across the festive scenery with a bomb, which deeply unsettles Sienna to the point where she starts screaming for Jonathan to be brought to them so they can get to safety. Although Greg begrudgingly goes to get him, Sienna wakes from a disturbing dream to find her uncle beheaded and nailed to the lounge wall and Art and Victoria in her home. Bound and gagged and beaten with a mallet, Sienna’s forced to watch her aunt’s horrific death. Her relief at finding Gabbie alive is short-lived since the girl’s held at knife point by Art and Victoria triumphantly presents Jonathan’s gory skull to her captive. When her first attempt to possess Sienna fails, Victoria prepares to kill Gabbie to finally break Sienna’s spirit but decides it’d be amusing to watch Sienna open Gabbie’s Christmas present first. After Art bashes Sienna’s hands to a pulp, Victoria demands she open the gift but she and her mute cohort are horrified when it turns out to be the magic sword (which Sienna recovered from the Terrifier funhouse, though I’ve no idea why she left it there or why we never see her get it…) Empowered by the sword, Sienna stabs and beheads Victoria and then jousts with Art, who attacks with his chainsaw. Although Sienna pins Art to the wall, she’s forced to abandon him when Victoria’s remains rot away and open a portal to Hell right under Gabbie! Despite Sienna’s best efforts, she fails to save her cousin, who’s sucked into the void alongside the sword. Although Sienna’s wounds heal and she’s determined to save her surrogate sister, Art escapes into the night to continue unsettling the populace, ending the festive slasher on a cliff-hanger…

The Summary:
I had high hopes heading into Terrifier 3. The first one might’ve been a bit rough around the edges, but the sequel was such a vast improvement, with memorable gore and a relatable and adorable main character to root for. Terrifier 3 seems to struggle with its momentum right from the start, substituting gruesome kills for suspense, which would be fine if this wasn’t a series known for its in-your-face splatter gore. While there are some standout kills and many of the dismemberments and torture sequences are as brutal as you’d expect, it’s jarring when the camera cuts away or significant characters like Jonathan are seemingly killed onscreen. If Leone is going for pure shock value by killing kids, the least he can do is follow through and present some nightmarishly unsettling deaths rather than merely showing us the bloody aftermath. It doesn’t help that Terrifier 3 feels like it’s making the story up as it goes along, clumsily suggesting a coherent narrative through exposition and teases but potentially setting up for an underwhelming payoff. Art’s still very mysterious but the supernatural, demonic context takes some of the allure off him, as does relegating him to Victoria’s henchman in the finale. It’s a fleeting moment and one that’s inconsequential compared to the carnage Art unleashes throughout the film, but I wonder if it might’ve been just as good, if not better, if Victoria had accompanied him throughout and joined in with the kills, if only to cement them as equals. Similarly, while I enjoyed Sienna’s struggles with her trauma and her desperate attempts to continue on after everything she went through, I don’t think the film focused on her delusions and nightmares enough. It could’ve been so much more harrowing if she was having visions of her loved ones so that she (and we) question her sanity. Instead, it’s kind of swept under the rug near the end. It feels like some of this (like other sequences and deaths) were cut to save time, resulting in an uneven narrative that left me unsatisfied at times. David Howard Thornton and Lauren LaVera still give excellent performances, newcomer Antonella Rose is everything Elliott Fullam isn’t, and I did like seeing Victoria depicted as a cackling witch and the hints towards some greater biblical endgame…I just hope the payoff is satisfying and it all fits together in the end.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Terrifier 3? What did you think to Victoria joining Art as a demonic partner? Do you agree that more focus should’ve been placed on Sienna’s fractured mental state? Which of the kills was your favourite and what did you think to the greater emphasis on tension? Did you also feel like key moments were cut from the film? What’s your favourite Christmas-themed scary movie and which Terrifier film is your favourite? Let me know your thoughts about Terrifier 3 in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror and Christmas content!