movie night

Movie Night [Godzilla Day]: Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

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Toho’s famous kaiju, Gojira, first appeared on this day back in 1954. In 2016, the day was declared “Godzilla Day” and, as a result, I am also appropriating November 3rd to shine a spotlight on the undisputed King of the Monsters.

Released: 10 December 1994
Director: Kensho Yamashita
Distributor: Toho

Budget: ¥1 billion
Box Office: ¥1.65 billion (Japanese rentals)
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 57% / 79%

Quick Facts:
Continuing Godzilla’s revival in the “Heisei Era”, director Kensho Yamashita and screenwriter Hiroshi Kashiwabara sought to craft a more light-hearted outing. They revisited similar ideas from 1978 and retooled them into the semi-crystalline SpaceGodzilla (Ryō Haritani), which initially more like a western dragon. Though reviews were somewhat mixed, SpaceGodzilla is generally regarded as one of Godzilla’s most fearsome enemies.

The Review:
One thing I’ve always liked about Godzilla’s “Heisei Era” is the continuity between each film. this wasn’t uncommon in the “Showa Era” but I always felt it was more prominent in the 1990s Godzilla films. Accordingly, Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla’s plot only occurs as a direct result of the previous two films. As explained by Professor Chinatsu Gondo (Towako Yoshikawa), Godzilla’s (Kenpachiro Satsuma) “G-Cells” were carried into space either after his battle against Biollante or Mothra and exposed to cosmic radiation…and sucked into a black hole…birthing a new creature, the titular SpaceGodzilla (Ryō Haritani), a far more demonic and aggressive lookalike sporting crystalline formations on its back! This creature lives only to destroy Godzilla and immediately flies to Earth to fulfil this goal, destroying a National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) space station and causing much concern amongst the United Nations Godzilla Countermeasures Center (UNGCC). Sensing the pending danger, the fairy-like Cosmos twins (Sayako Osawa and Keiko Imamura) alert psychic Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) and beg her to help defend the Earth from the extraterrestrial destroyer. Miki, having already encountered Godzilla in previous “Heisei” films, has developed a kinship with the creature and advocates to protect him rather than destroy him, heading up Project Telepathy/Project-T to find ways to telepathically control Godzilla. While she also objects to this, feeling it removes Godzilla’s purpose and self, she’s convinced to attempt to process, which involves attaching a special device to Godzilla’s head and Miki donning a helmet to influence his thoughts and behaviour and ensure he’ll defend the Earth when his alien doppelgänger arrives.

When SpaceGodzilla arrives, Miki and Major Yuki must set aside their personal objections to defend the Earth.

This leads Miki to Birth Island, where Godzilla frequents and where his son, Little Godzilla (Little Frankie), resides. Lieutenant Koji Shinjo (Jun Hashizume) and Lieutenant Kiyoshi Sato (Zenkichi Yoneyama) are also dispatched to Birth Island to assist and find Major Akira Yuki (Akira Emoto) laying tear gas traps for Godzilla in hopes of killing him. Major Yuki holds a personal grudge against Godzilla for killing his best friend in Godzilla vs. Biollante (Ōmori, 1989) and is instead obsessed with delivering the final shot on the King of the Monsters with a special bullet filled with blood coagulant. Despite his hatred for Godzilla, Major Yuki develops a begrudging bond with Little Godzilla and sets aside his vendetta when the runt is attacked by SpaceGodzilla and imprisoned within its crystalline constructs. While Major Yuki also briefly defies orders to rescue Miki when she’s kidnapped by the Yakuza, he returns to his fixation with Godzilla after being given command of the Mobile Operations G-Force Universal Expert Robot: Aero-type (M.O.G.U.E.R.A.), a kaiju-sized mech (Wataru Fukuda) built specifically to destroy Godzilla. While M.O.G.U.E.R.A. failed to slow or even damage SpaceGodzilla as it flew towards Earth, Major Yuki endangers everyone by turning its incredible weapons against Godzilla, leading the somewhat bumbling Lieutenant Shinjo and Lieutenant Sato to finally oppose his mania and knock him out, tying him to a chair to focus on the bigger picture of assisting Godzilla against his alien counterpart. The Yakuza get to Miki thanks to Doctor Susumu Okubo (Yôsuke Saitô) selling her out to their boss, McKay (Tom Durran), with Dr. Okubo planning to forcibly gain control of Godzilla though Miki for the Japanese mafia. Motivated by his love for her, Lieutenant Shinjo leads the rescue effort, which is greatly aided by Miki’s mysterious (and somewhat mediocre) telekinetic powers, which allow her to levitate people and objects and communicate telepathically with others (and, with some limited success, control minds).

M.O.G.U.E.R.A. allows Major Yuki to realise his dreams of killing Godzilla.

It’s nice to see the likes of General Iyao Hyodo (Koichi Ueda), Commander Takaaki Aso (Akira Nakao), and Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) exploring different strategies against Godzilla, such as experimenting with psychic powers and mind control and deploying M.O.G.U.E.R.A., which is similar to Mechagodzilla and can separate into different forms, allowing it to burrow underground and fly. Yet M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is little more than annoyance to Godzilla and SpaceGodzilla, who shrug off the mech’s spectacular and varied attacks time and again. Still, M.O.G.U.E.R.A. plays a pivotal role in defeating SpaceGodzilla when Major Yuki is convinced to destroy Fukuoka Tower, which SpaceGodzilla perverts into a crystalline fortress to feed it cosmic energy. SpaceGodzilla is every bit as fearsome and unstoppable as its Earth-bound progenitor, but even more aggressive and powerful. Bigger, bulkier, and sporting crystalline appendages, SpaceGodzilla is a demonic entity that can hover and fly, blast enemies with its lightning-like Corona Beam, and even fling Godzilla around using telekinesis. SpaceGodzilla’s crystalline formations spread across the land, its approach interferes with electronics, and it even erects a crystal energy shield to stave off Godzilla’s patented Atomic Breath! It can also control its crystals and rain them down on Godzilla but has two very obvious weak points: the crystals on its shoulders and the Fukuoka Tower, which feeds it energy. Damaging and destroying them causes the monster incredible pain and weakens it, leaving it vulnerable to Godzilla’s heavy-duty “Spiral Heat-Ray”. Sadly, SpaceGodzilla comes across as all bark and now bite as it doesn’t cause much destruction and is easily dispatched once its weaknesses are exploited, making it largely inferior to the original as Godzilla has no such weaknesses (despite Major Yuki’s theories).

As fearsome as SpaceGodzilla is, its glaring weaknesses see it easily dispatched by the King of the Monsters.

Godzilla is portrayed as an unpredictable force of nature here, which is fitting. By this point, he doesn’t actively attack humans or cities and instead lingers around Birth Island watching over his son, rising from the depths only to rest or meet a new challenge. He’s portrayed as grumpy and prideful, quick to defend Little Godzilla and test his mettle against his new foe but having little time for humanity’s attempts to destroy or control him. While Miki’s attempts to physically influence him have promising results, the connection is broken before it can be fully tested and the mind control device is detached in the finale, which Godzilla appears grateful for. Godzilla is largely outmatched by his extraterrestrial clone, which is bigger and far stronger and has more weapons in its arsenal. Godzilla struggles to get close to SpaceGodzilla, or overcome its telekinesis, and faces a cunning foe that seeks to conquer the world through sheer force rather than mindless destruction. Indeed, SpaceGodzilla is savvy enough to kidnap and imprison Little Godzilla to lure Godzilla into a one-sided confrontation, where Godzilla is left struggling to do more than destroy some of its crystals. Thanks to M.O.G.U.E.R.A., SpaceGodzilla is weakened and sent into meltdown by Major Yuki’s near-fatal actions, which threatens to destroy the world. Luckily, Godzilla channels the lifeforce of Rodan to power his Spiral Heat-Ray, which vaporises the abomination (and much of Fukuoka). Although the survivors consider the possibility for more SpaceGodzillas threatening Earth, Major Yuki gains a begrudging respect for Godzilla and the Cossmos thank Miki for her efforts. The victorious Godzilla returns to Birth Island, where his son celebrates by trying out his Atomic Breath, with adorable results.

Final Thoughts:
I’ve always been a fan of SpaceGodzilla’s design. It’s a chonky, demonic perversion of Godzilla sporting horn-like fangs, an array of incredible powers, and bizarre crystalline formations from its flesh. It cuts an intimidating figure and appears to be one of Godzilla’s more intelligent and ruthless foes but is ultimately another rival that looks more fearsome than it actually is. SpaceGodzilla’s threat is nullified with uncharacteristic ease thanks to its obvious weak spots, which lessen its menace considerably and reduce it to a fearsome kaiju that hides behind defensive measures. Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla would’ve greatly benefited from scenes of SpaceGodzilla ransacking cities, transforming them into crystalline hellholes to empower itself. Without this, the film is strangely limited, which goes against the creature’s bizarre cosmic origins. While I liked Major Yuki’s obsession with killing Godzilla, this wasn’t as developed as it could’ve been and was oddly counterbalanced by Lieutenant Shinjo and Lieutenant Sato being somewhat comedic characters. Cutting Lieutenant Sato would’ve helped with this, as would developing Miki’s telepathic powers and empathy with Godzilla more. The film makes a big deal about her telepathy, but this barely factors into the finale, which is odd considering SpaceGodzilla also uses telepathy. M.O.G.U.E.R.A. was a clunky, ridiculous mech who probably should’ve been destroyed in space since Miki could’ve just telepathically helped Godzilla to target SpaceGodzilla’s weak points, and the alien abomination was ultimately destroyed far too easily for my tastes. The battle between it, Godzilla, and M.O.G.U.E.R.A. is technically impressive but I don’t think Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla lives up to its full potential, in the end.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What did you think to Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla? Were you a face of SpaceGodzilla and its outrageous origin? Did you find the psychic sub-plot and Major Yuki’s character arc half-baked? Were you also disappointed that M.O.G.U.E.R.A. was just an also-ran? What is your favourite Godzilla movie and why? How are you celebrating Godzilla Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla, or Godzilla in general, leave them below and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Godzilla films for me to review.

Movie Night [Day of the Dead]: The Return of the Living Dead

Dr. K1 Comment

The Day of the Dead (or Dia de los Muertos) is a traditional Latin American holiday on which, every November 1st, deceased loved ones are celebrated. This is also the perfect excuse to spotlight the long-running and ever-changing zombie genre largely popularised by director George A. Romero, which has often paralleled various aspects of society and which I devoted a great deal of my PhD thesis towards.  

Released: 16 August 1985
Director: Dan O’Bannon
Distributor: Orion Pictures

Budget: $3 to 4 million
Box Office: $14.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 71% / 80%

Quick Facts:
Though dismissed at the time, Night of the Living Dead (Romero, 1968) was a surprise hit and is now regarded as a horror classic. Though it spawned equally regarded sequels, the initial follow-up was a novel co-scripted by Romero and his writer friend, John Russo. When Romero and Russo parted ways, Russo took the “Living Dead” title with him, resulting in this radically different take on the zombie sub-genre. Though widely regarded as a cult classic, The Return of the Living Dead spawned its own questionable sequels,

The Review:
You’d be forgiven for thinking The Return of the Living Dead is a sequel to Night of the Living Dead, judging by its title. In a way, it kind of is but only in a metatextual sense. The Return of the Living Dead takes place in a world where Romero’s zombie classic is a movie, just like ours, a dramatisation of a bizarre incident involving Trioxin. At the Uneeda medical supply warehouse in Louisville, Kentucky, veteran foreman Frank Johnson (James Karen) shows young newcomer Freddy Hanscom (Thom Mathews) the ropes and, seeing how impressed the youth is by the various skeletons and bodies stored there, tells the true tale that inspired Romero’s movie. Developed by the United States military, Trioxin had the unique an unexpected side effect of partially reanimated corpses. The bodies sprung to life and were shipped off to be destroyed, but a mix up saw some delivered to Uneeda, where they’ve been stored in the basement for years. Frank says that Romero got wind of this and wanted to tell the story, but was coerced into exaggerating the facts, creating flesh eating zombies. To impress Freddy, Frank shows him the rusted canisters that contain the corpses, arrogantly delivering a swift kick to one to prove its sturdiness and accidentally flooding the warehouse with Trioxin gas. The two collapse, choking, as the corpse (later dubbed the “Tarman” (Allan Trautman)) seemingly melts in its canister. When they awaken, sickened by the stench and panicked by the incident, they’re horrified when the various cadavers (even those split in half!) shudder to life and one (Terrence Houlihan) desperately tries to break out of the meat locker. Horrified and aghast, Frank and Freddy desperately try to think of a solution: Frank doesn’t want to call the cops and risk the company’s (and his) reputation, so he calls his boss, Burt Wilson (Clu Gulager), instead to think of a plan.

A stupid mistake unleashes a toxic gas that reanimates the dead and turns those exposed into zombies.

Initially incensed that the two messed with the canisters, Burt is just as clueless as to how to deal with the incident as they are. However, he cuts through Frank’s abject fear to recall that the zombies in Night of the Living Dead were put down by destroying the brain. Although he’s nearly throttled by the yellow-tinted zombie, Burt and the others overpower it and drive a pickaxe through its head, only for it to continue thrashing. Even sawing its head off doesn’t do the trick as the headless body goes on a rampage before they manage to tie it down and dismember it. Realising that the movie lied to them, Burt quickly hits upon the idea of taking the still moving body parts to Ernie Kaltenbrunner’s (Don Calfa) crematorium to incinerate all traces of their blunder. When Ernie finds Burt’s cockamamie story about rabid pests unconvincing, Burt shows him the body parts to earn his trust and assistance and is relieved when they reduce the zombie to ash. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to them, this spews toxic gas into the night sky that triggers semi-caustic rain, which reanimates the corpses in a nearby cemetery! Burt and the others are ignorant of this for a time as their elation soon turns to concern when Frank and Freddy become violently sick. Ernie calls for some paramedics (Drew Deighan and James Dalesandro) to come check them out as they are too sick to be driven to the hospital, and they’re alarmed to find their vital signs are so low that they’re essentially dead. This only exacerbates Frank’s despair and, upon seeing how voracious and monstrous the living dead are, he ultimately climbs into the incinerator and end things before he loses himself completely to the undead’s insatiable hunger for “Braiins!”

Sadly, the colourful punk-rock “kids” don’t factor into the plot or themes as much as I’d like.

Freddy eventually gets some support from his girlfriend, Tina (Beverly Randolph), who rushes over to find him when he’s late meeting her and their punk-rock friends – Casey (Jewel Shepard), Chuck (John Philbin), “Scuz” (Brian Peck), “Spider” (Miguel A. Núñez Jr), “Suicide” (Mark Venturini), and “Trash” (Linnea Quigley) – in the cemetery. This is a colourful and eclectic bunch of misfits who I struggle to believe would ever hang out together! Chuck stands out from the other alternative punkers with his floppy hair and pressed suit, while Suicide is trying a little too hard to be a bad ass with his leather jacket and chains. The promiscuous Trash sure makes an impression, swooning over Spider and Suicide alike and entertaining her friends with a striptease, though the entire group is caught completely off-guard when the toxic rain causes the dead to burst from their graves. All of them are killed except Tina and Spider, who safely get into the mortuary and help barricade it against the undead, alarmed and confused, Casey and Chuck who shelter in the warehouse. This causes some tension between Spider and Burt, who suggests they flee in an abandoned police car to call for help. This separates them from Tina and Ernie, who are forced to hide in the attic when Freddy inevitably turns and attacks them, leading to them blinding him with sulphuric acid. The punkers are an unusual bunch of delinquents who are sadly underutilised here. Their outrageous lifestyles and belligerent attitudes could’ve made a nice contrast between the older, wiser Burt and Ernie and offered a commentary of the punk-rock youth of the time. Instead, they’re presented as loud but largely harmless twenty-somethings teenagers whose anarchist beliefs are as inconsequential to the living dead as older, more traditional values. Unlike in Night of the Living Dead, there’s no class, social, or racial conflict here even when there should be. Spider could’ve made more rash, impulsive decisions, for example, and challenged Burt’s authority more directly. Instead, the survivors largely work together to find a solution to their problem.

These colourful, durable, surprisingly smart zombies have long impacted the genre.

Unlike in Romero’s films, the living dead are given a definitive origin in The Return of the Living Dead, directly attributing their creation to man, the military, and, by extension, warfare. Trioxin instantly reanimates any dead body, no matter what state its in, and slowly poisons and turns anyone who breathes it. Even the mud, showered by the toxic rain, is enough to turn an individual, though bites don’t appear to transmit the disease. It’s difficult to tell, to be honest, as these zombies don’t bite in the same way as Romero’s. Instead, they overwhelm their prey and feast upon their brains. These zombies also retain a modicum of intelligence; they can talk and co-ordinate far better than traditional zombies. Even when reduced to a rotting torso (Cherry Davis), the zombies articulate their voracious hunger for brains, the only thing that eases the agony of being dead (“I can feel myself rot!”) These zombies are also far more durable, shrugging off blows and bullets and continuing to attack even with their heads and limbs cut off. They swarm in a ravenous hoard and then impersonate their prey to lure in additional victims for them to feast upon, which was incredibly amusing. While The Return of the Living Dead is surprisingly light on gore, the Tarman (courtesy of Kenny Myers) cuts a memorable and disturbing figure. Little more than a shambling skeleton oozing in black oil, his eyes bugging out as he cries for “Braaains!”, the Tarman is a triumph of practical effects that’s sadly not seen enough as it would’ve made for a great recurring central antagonist or figurehead for the undead. The visual depiction and behaviour of these zombies would be just as influential as Romero’s efforts, with the two often being mixed up in popular media, and gives the living dead an extra edge, in my opinion, as they’re practically unstoppable here. Even when you immolate their bodies, you risk further infection by producing toxic, Trioxin-laced gas, which only reinforces the zombies as a metaphor for the inevitability of death.

Though the survivors try to call for help, the US nukes the town, which naturally only makes things worse…

The locals are completely unprepared for the voracious zombies and are easily swarmed, their heads split open and their brains devoured. Freddy’s condition worsens at an alarming rate, with the only cure being total immolation, and the others are forced to isolate him before he becomes a threat. While Tina is vehemently against this, she’s horrified when he finally turns and starts lurching around the mortuary looking to eat her brains, leaving Tina huddled helplessly in Ernie’s arms in the attic. Burt and Spider meet Casey and Chuck at the warehouse and incapacitate the Tarman, lopping off his head and finally calling the emergency number on the Trioxin canisters as the zombies have devoured all the paramedics and cops! This eventually puts Burt through to the exasperated Colonel Horace Glover (Jonathan Terry), who’s been searching for the missing Trioxin containers for about twenty years and been frustrated by failure. Eager to finally tie up this annoying loose end, Colonel Glover diligently takes down all the information Burt has on the outbreak and promises to extract them as soon as possible. Amusingly, this turns out to be a blatant lie as Colonel Glover immediately orders Gunnery Sergeant Jefferson (Derrick Brice) to fire a nuclear missile at the town, using the July 4th celebrations as cover, and obliterates all the survivors alongside the infected area. This by itself would’ve made for a fantastically bleak ending, one made darkly amusing by Burt and the others hearing the incoming missile and Freddy inches away from Tina, but the film then doubles down with a brief coda before the end credits. Here, Colonel Glover is pleased with the results and satisfied that their efforts have eradicated the zombie outbreak. However, unbeknownst to him, the raging fires and spewed more Trioxin gas into the air and caused heavier rainfall, reanimating more corpses and promising a far greater outbreak of ravenous corpses.

Final Thoughts:
It’s been about fifteen years since I last saw The Return of the Living Dead, and this is only my second time watching it. I’ve always found its visual style very appealing. The Tarman, especially, and the punk-rock cast really capture the imagination, and Matt Clifford’s synth-rock score (alongside the punk-rock soundtrack) elevates the film into cult classic territory. The Return of the Living Dead is also as influential on the zombie genre as Romero’s movies, with many depictions of zombies in pop culture having them yearning for “Braaiins!” or utilising chemical agents for their origins. The film also has its tongue firmly planted in its cheek. It’s not a comedy by any means, but it’s certainly more outrageous than Romero’s films, using zombies for distinctive dark comedy rather than social commentary. Unfortunately, something about this one just doesn’t stick with me as much as I’d like. The performances are decent enough, but I don’t think the film did enough with the rebellious youths who made up a sizeable portion of the cast. There was no class or social tension between the survivors, and no commentary on the anarchistic kids paralleling the zombies or the zombies tearing down traditional values. The zombies were simply a common enemy for these disparate groups to unite against, only to be betrayed by their government in the end. Perhaps that’s the point, that all our differences are nothing compared to the unbearable weight of government and military oppression, but this wasn’t as explicit as it could’ve been. This could’ve been a great excuse for some fun social satire; instead, it’s just a pretty enjoyable zombie romp. There’s not much variety to it considering its scope (we’re stuck in the mortuary or the cemetery for most of the film) and the gore was depressingly absent, meaning the film only remains memorable because of the zombies’ gruesome designs and quirky lines. Ultimately, while I think The Return of the Living Dead is an influential classic and a must-see for zombie fans, I remain disappointed in it for not truly living up to its full potential as a splatterific, bonkers dark comedy horror counterpart to Romero’s more cerebral offerings.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you consider The Return of the Living Dead a zombie classic? Were you also disappointed by the lack of gore? Did you like that the zombies had a definitive origin and that they could talk? Were you impressed by the Tarman and the other practical effects? Do you also think there should’ve been a bigger emphasis on the punk-rock youths? Which of the film’s sequels is your favourite? How are you celebrating the Day of the Dead today? Whatever your thoughts on The Return of the Living Dead, and zombie films in general, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi if you’d like to see me cover the sequels.

Movie Night [Halloween]: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers: The Unrated Producer’s Cut

Dr. K1 Comment

Starting as the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, Halloween is also a long-running series of horror movies. Beginning with John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978), largely credited with birthing the “slasher” sub-genre and one of the most influential films in all of horror.

Released: 27 September 2014
Director: Joe Chappelle
Distributor: Dimension Films

Budget: Unknown (originally $5 million)
Box Office: Unknown (originally $15.1 million)
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: None (originally 8% / 36%)

Quick Facts:
Universally panned as one of the worst of the franchise, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (Chappelle, 1995) was almost the death knell of the series, notable only for its troubled production. For decades, the original workprint was available only as poor quality bootlegs that hinted at the differences between the two versions. After a brief theatrical release, this superior version of the film was finally released on home media…for a short time.

The Review:
Essentially, this Producer’s Cut of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers is the same basic film as the theatrical version, with basically the same plot but with additional scenes added in, extra context behind the “Curse of Thorn” and its cult, and an alternative ending. Therefore, much of the same framework remains: it’s been six years since Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (Othenin-Girard, 1989) and Haddonfield, Illinois has largely moved on from Michael Myers/The Shape (George P. Wilbur/A. Michael Lerner/Brad Hardin) by downplaying the Halloween season. This year, frustrated teens like Beth (Mariah O’Brien) are eager to reclaim the holiday, rallying around shock DJ Barry Simms (Leo Geter) as he aims to expose the urban legend of Michael Myers. Houses are still decorated for the season, though, and kids still use the Shape’s iconography to rile up abuse realtor John Strode (Bradford English), and sadly even this version of the film doesn’t dwell on this presumed (but barely enforced) anti-Halloween mindset of Haddonfield. Michael is still considered long dead, Doctor Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence) has long since retired (though now explains to his old friend and colleague, Doctor Terence Wynn (Mitch Ryan), that he largely fixed his burns with expensive skin grafts), and Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan) still endures her father’s harsh criticism while dealing with her son, Danny Strode’s (Devin Gardner), nightmares of an intimidating “Man in Black”. The Producer’s Cut slightly expands on John with a short, additional scene where he denounces Kara to his long-suffering wife, Debra Strode (Kim Darby). We still don’t find out what Kara did five years ago, but whatever it was pissed John off so badly that he not only dismisses Danny as a “bastard” and strikes his daughter but washes his hands of Kara entirely.

Dr. Loomis greatly benefits from the increased screen time, where he’s desperate to protect people from Michael.

Dr. Loomis greatly benefits from the additional screen time and even replaces Tommy Doyle (Paul Rudd) in delivering the opening narration. It’s revealed that Dr. Loomis suffered a stroke six years ago and this version places more emphasis on him having buried his past and found a sense of peace. However, he immediately switches back to his old ways after hearing Jamie Lloyd (J. C. Brandy) on the radio. Dr. Loomis returns to Smith’s Grove and delivers more of his soliloquies about Michael and the nature of his evil, even arguing with the police, who don’t want him around like in previous films. Dr. Loomis is again desperate to warn others of Michael’s pending threat but also devastated when Jamie’s grievously injured body is recovered, heartbroken at having failed her and therefore much more determined to help Tommy protect Jamie’s newborn, Steven (Emily Haterson), from the cult. Danny also benefits from this version of the film. We see more of his hallucinations of the Man in Black, get a better idea of how close he is to his older brother, Tim (Keith Bogart), and this version actually delivers on the plot point of Danny hearing “the voice” as it’s revealed that the Cult of Thorn want Michael to kill Steven and end his bloodline to pass his curse on to Danny. John striking Kara triggers Danny to hear the Man in Black’s voice, showing that violence is a catalyst for his hallucinations, though this version still doesn’t dwell much on that. Danny is framed as an unsuspecting and unwilling victim, one often enthralled and helpless and fearful of the quasi-supernatural influences around him, but at least there’s a payoff in the sense that we see why he’s having those visions. It’s still not clear why the Cult of Thorn didn’t just have Michael kill Jamie, especially as they had her in captivity, however, and this plot hole is made even stranger by perhaps this version’s most disturbing addition.

Michael’s more his usual, chilling self and Danny’s subplot with the Cult of Thorn gets a far better payoff.

In the Producer’s Cut, Jamie is left in a coma. Right before she’s executed by the Man in Black, we see a flashback of her time in captivity, which shows Michael nearby and watching as she’s tormented by the cult. The implications of this are then made explicit in the finale, where the cult leader, Dr. Wynn, urges Michael to kill Kara and Steven. Yes, for some reason, the original intention was that Michael raped or was used to impregnate his niece! Again, I don’t understand why as killing Jamie would’ve ended his bloodline, but it’s certainly an unsettling addition. Otherwise, Michael is depicted as less of a lapdog and more like his usual self in this version. The camera follows his point of view or is placed over his shoulder as he stalks his prey, reflecting his portrayal in the original film, and he’s much more in the bogeyman role than in the last two movies. He’s still under the thrall of the Curse of Thorn, however. When it’s not Halloween or he’s at the Cult of Thorn’s facility, he’s largely docile, as if waiting to be “activated”. Additional dialogue from Tommy also explains that the Curse of Thorn saw a child from a tribe possessed by a demon to increase bounty for the tribe, that Michael views anyone living in his house as his “family”, and that he’s driven to kill and appear on Halloween because that’s when the stars are aligned into the Thorn symbol. Tommy also theorises that Michael’s threat would end once his bloodline is ended and his curse would pass onto another child, which he turns out to be Dr. Wynn’s intention for Danny and the cult’s objective. Dr. Wynn believes that the world is suffering and that the Cult of Thorn are trying to restore “balance” through Michael, supporting Dr. Loomis’s claims that Dr. Wynn is a “madman” as it’s ridiculous to think a serial killer driven to murder his family could end poverty, war, or famine!

This version relies more on atmosphere and offers more details on the Curse of Thorn.

This version of the film ditches the synth-style remix of the classic Halloween film in favour of a more traditional Halloween score, which strengthens its ties to John Carpenter’s original movie. In fact, many elements echo the first film: Michael stalks Haddonfield and is therefore scarier, and the Producer’s Cut features far less gore and is less reliant on jump scares, favouring tense atmosphere and grounded kills like the first film. When Michael snaps a guy’s neck, the effect is much less gruesome, for example. Rather than being minced on farm equipment, Jamie collapses from her wounds and is stabbed and finally executed via gunshot offscreen. John’s head also doesn’t comically explode in this version, which is so much more effective as a chilling and brutal kill. The “raining red” scene is also altered so the little girl (Raquelle Anderson) is singing, rather than just calling for her mother, which makes it a bit more whimsical. We also get a flashback to Halloween 5 featuring archival footage of Danielle Harris and a few additional scenes, mostly just slightly extended dialogue or a few seconds to let things breathe a bit, which don’t add all that much to the plot but help make things a bit more coherent. It’s still weird that Dr. Wynn wants Dr. Loomis to succeed him at Smith’s Grove, and as Michael’s protector, as Dr. Loomis is older than him and some of the worst elements of the theatrical version remain in this version. Kara still foolishly throws herself out a window to escape the cult, for example, and Dr. Loomis and Tommy are still “drugged” offscreen after discovering Dr. Wynn’s true nature.

For all it’s flaws, the Producer’s Cut delivers a far more coherent and intriguing ending.

Tommy’s research into the Curse of Thorn also plays a greater role in this version, especially in the end, when he and Dr. Loomis venture into Smith’s Grove Sanatorium to rescue Kara and Steven. Tommy suggests that “Runes of Light” may hold Michael at bay, if not destroy him, upping the supernatural focus of this version and almost tying it into the third film. The Man in Black is noticeably more prominent in the Producer’s Cut: he takes baby Steven at start, we see how he abducted Jamie in Halloween 5, he appears a bit more in Danny’s nightmares, we see him execute Jamie at the hospital, and the scene of him (as Dr. Wynn) visiting Dr. Loomis is thankfully extended to better establish their friendship and therefore make his reveal as the big bad more impactful. Rather than randomly performing some unexplained surgery as in the theatrical film or the vague implication that the Cult of Thorn are performing genetic experiments, Dr. Wynn rallies his robed followers in witnessing a ritual that would have Michael kill Kara and baby Steven to transfer his curse onto Danny, a plot thread left dangling in the theatrical version. Tommy easily infiltrates the ritual and saves them, holding Dr. Wynn at knifepoint and then uses a combination of runes, his blood, and the word “Samhain” to stop Michael in his tracks. Tommy doesn’t go all twitchy and weird around Michael, but it is bizarre to see the Shape frozen in place by a few stones. However, although Michael’s bloody rampage throughout Smith’s Grove is missing, the ending is also much more coherent as we see Dr. Loomis return to the sanatorium to weep over Michael’s downed form, clearly still pained at failing his patient, only to be stunned when it turns out to be Dr. Wynn in the mask! Dr. Wynn then grabs Dr. Loomis and passes the Mark of Thorn to him, explaining his agonised screams as he realises he’s doomed to watch over Michael, who escapes into the night in the guise of the Man in Black.

Final Thoughts:
Let’s not mince words: the Producer’s Cut of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers isn’t exactly a “better” film, it’s just more tolerable. Everything I disliked about the theatrical version is still here, it’s just that the ending is far more coherent and sets up an interesting next chapter for Michael and Dr. Loomis that we sadly (I guess…?) never got to see. The pacing and overall atmosphere are much improved, however, channelling the quiet dread of the original film and returning Michael to his roots as a fearsome, silent stalker. The added lore around the Curse of Thorn was appreciated; however, while I find the semi-supernatural explanation of Michael’s motives interesting, it still feels tacked on and clumsily executed. The additional screen time for Dr. Loomis elevated the weak-ass material and really makes me mad that his scenes were cut in the theatrical version as he’s the heart and soul of these movies. The kills surprisingly benefited from being less gory and the film tries for a more cerebral approach, which is largely hit and miss. I liked that Danny’s subplot got more focus and a better payoff, but the ending felt a little rushed and anti-climactic, especially with how easily Michael is stopped. I think this version would’ve benefited from a slightly longer and more thrilling conclusion, but it’s still a better ending than the theatrical version as it’s not a mangled mishmash of random scenes! Ultimately, this is the version of the film you should watch between the two, but it’s still one of the weakest entries in the Halloween franchise and a poor tribute to the late, great Donald Pleasence.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Do you prefer the Producer’s Cut of Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers? Were you glad to see more of Dr. Loomis and Danny’s subplot? What’s your opinion on the Curse of Thorn as an explanation for Michael’s motives? Did you prefer the cliff-hanger ending and would you like to see a return to this timeline? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, and the Halloween franchise, drop a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and have a spook-tacular Halloween!

Movie Night: Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Dr. K3 Comments

Released: 29 September 1995
Director: Joe Chappelle
Distributor: Dimension Films

Budget: $5 million
Box Office: $15.1 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 8% / 36%

Quick Facts:
After the negative reception to Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (Othenin-Girard, 1989), producer Moustapha Akkad sought to retool the franchise, forming a partnership with Dimension Films and rejecting many pitches. The final product was heavily butchered following test screenings, reducing Donald Pleasance’s role in favour of more gore and a confusing ending that made marginally more sense in the Producer’s Cut (2014) and resulting in one of the most infamous entries in the franchise.

The Review:
Six years after Halloween 5, Haddonfield, Illinois has tried to bury the memory of Michael Myers/The Shape (George P. Wilbur/A. Michael Lerner/Brad Hardin) by banning Halloween. Michael, and his long-suffering former doctor, Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasence), are presumed dead, as is the Shape’s niece, Jamie Lloyd (J. C. Brandy), who all disappeared in some form after the fifth movie. Dr. Loomis retired from his obsession and the spotlight and apparently found some peace that’s reflected in his healed scars. Everyone was happy to let the past die except horny, excitable Haddonfield teens like Beth (Mariah O’Brien), who want to bring Halloween back to Haddonfield. Oddly, despite the ban, the town still celebrates harvest festival and houses are still decorated for trick-or-treaters, much to the anger of the abusive and volatile John Strode (Bradford English), who’s incensed that local kids keep associated his family with Michael. Of course, it doesn’t help that realtor John moved his family into the old Myers house, where young Michael murdered his sister as a child, a fact unknown to his meek and mistreated wife, Debra Strode (Kim Darby), and their kids, Kara Strode (Marianne Hagan) and Tim Strode (Keith Bogart). Additionally, Haddonfield seems happy to bring Halloween back as there is no police interference in the youngsters’ public gatherings and no objections to shock radio DJ Barry Simms (Leo Geter) capitalising on Michael’s notoriety. Whatever passes as peace for Haddonfield is doomed, however, as Michael and Jamie aren’t as dead as people would like to think. Instead, they were spirited away by the mysterious “Man in Black” and held captive during the interim under the care of doctors and the druid-like “Cult of Thorn”.

When Jamie’s unceremoniously offed, we’re left following bland Kara and her largely irrelevant son.

While it initially seemed like Jamie had inherited her uncle’s curse to become a psychopathic killer, she was then seen to share a prominent psychic link to her uncle. The Curse of Michael Myers reduces her to a mewling victim. Held captive by the Cult of Thorn for six years, Jamie was presumably raped or possibly artificially inseminated during that time to birth Michael’s replacement, a force of pure evil the cult could control. After giving birth, Jamie escapes with the aid of a sympathetic nurse (Susan Swift) and promptly flees into the rain with her child, relentlessly pursued by Michael, now driven by the “Curse of Thorn” to murder his bloodline (and anyone in his way). Unfortunately, Jamie’s presence is very brief; she gets scant moments to bond with her baby, desperately calls for help, and is then promptly butchered by Michael. It’s a pretty shitty end for her, especially as they could’ve ditched her being held captive and simply transplanted Jamie’s story onto Kara. Laurie Strode’s (Jamie Lee Curtis) adopted cousin, Kara is having a tough time here. After getting pregnant in her teens and birthing Danny Strode (Devin Gardner), Kara was forced to move back after some incident, angering her father and causing him to lash out at her as much as Debra and Kara’s little “bastard”. As if clashing with her asshole father isn’t bad enough, Kara must deal with Danny being tormented by nightmares where the Man in Black calls to him. Danny constantly sees and hears the Man in Black, who encourages him to kill his family, just as Michael apparently heard a similar voice in the same house as a child. Although this drives Danny to hold a knife up to John when he hits Kara, it largely just leaves him an emotional wreck who’s either spaced out or wailing, meaning he lacks the nuance and appeal of young Jamie Lloyd (Danielle Harris) from the previous films.

A half-crazed grown-up Tommy is aided by the frustratingly absent and ineffectual Dr. Loomis.

Tommy Doyle, a young boy who encountered Michael in the first film, has grown up into “Paul Stephen Rudd”, a damaged and traumatised youth living in Mrs. Blankenship’s (Janice Knickrehm) boarding house across the road from (and obsessed with) the Strodes. Tommy has been obsessed with Michael since 1978 and has researched the Curse of Thorn, convinced that Michael will return to finish off loose ends (the Strodes). His odd nature initially unnerves Kara and sees him largely shunned by Haddonfield, but Tommy’s the only one who recognises Jamie’s frantic call and locates her abandoned baby, Steven Lloyd (Emily Haterson), whom he’s compelled to protect. Luckily, Tommy quickly runs into the aged and hobbled Dr. Loomis, who’s pulled out of retirement after a visit from an old friend, Doctor Terence Wynn (Mitch Ryan), and news of Michael’s pending return. Sadly, Dr. Loomis doesn’t get much to do here, or much of the spotlight. His manic demeanour is considerably toned down and he mostly appears confused and exhausted, to the point where he barely reacts upon learning that Michael’s loose. He’s pretty ineffectual at helping Tommy protect baby Steven, easily being “drugged” off-camera and completely blindsided when Dr. Wynn turns out to be the Man in Black. Dr. Loomis tries to kill his colleague to stop the madness and is promptly jumped and vanishes for most of the finale, returning only to seemingly be killed offscreen. It’s a shame as I would’ve liked to see Tommy bring Steven to Dr. Loomis and for Dr. Loomis to know of the Cult of Thorn, having researched them under the guise of retirement. Instead, the filmmakers went out of their way to cut Dr. Loomis and Tommy is left to wander around acting all twitchy and weird, almost having a psychotic break when confronted by Michael.

Michael loses all terror and allure thanks to being Dr. Wynn’s lapdog and a slave to his “curse”.

As bad as Dr. Loomis’s characterisation is, Michael’s is just as bad. Rather than being this mysterious, unknowable force of evil, Michael is little more than a lap dog here. The Curse of Thorn compels him to murder his bloodline but apparently means Dr. Wynn and his pseudo-druids can control Michael, to some degree. Or at least subdue him. It’s really unclear, to be honest. Michael spends most of the film wandering the cult’s facility, killing anyone who interferes with their plans, and then going after Jamie before returning to Haddonfield. His target is Danny (which is weird as Dr. Wynn also tries to corrupt him into a new Michael, like with Jamie), but he also makes the effort to kill Debra and John. He also randomly attacks Barry before killing Beth, Tim, and, bizarrely, all the doctors and cultists at the cult facility in the finale (presumably including Dr. Wynn). The film states that young Michael “heard a voice” that drove him to kill his family and that Dr. Wynn has always protected Michael, allowing him to terrorise Haddonfield as part of a bizarre ritual. From what I can gather, the cult wants to create a replacement Michael, either through science or genetics, one that they can properly control for some unexplained endgame. Dr. Wynn wants Dr. Loomis to join their efforts, but he adamantly refuses, and the idea seems to be that Michael’s pure evil cannot be controlled, which is why he goes on a rampage, but it’s all very sloppily executed. Michael seems to be going through the motions, barely being a terrifying figure as he wanders about and catches surprises his unsuspecting prey. Instead of a dramatic showdown between him and Dr. Loomis, we get Tommy damn near going crazy upon seeing Michael and frantically beating him with a lead pipe, which shows just how far the franchise has fallen.

The focus on gore and upping Michael’s body count doesn’t equate to a fun or interesting film.

While the first movie was a masterpieceof suspense and atmosphere, The Curse of Michael Myers was the goriest Halloween film to date. Michael rams a cult nurse against a convenient spike on a wall and then tosses poor Jamie onto farming equipment, impaling her through the belly and then mulching her by activating the machine. A random trucker (Tom Proctor) gets his neck violently snapped and Barry gets brutally gutted in his van and left strung up in a tree to “[rain] red” on an unsuspecting little girl (Raquelle Anderson), but it’s the Strodes who get the worst treatment. After being visited by Dr. Loomis and warned of Michael, Debra finally stands up to John and prepares to leave with the kids, only for Michael to hack her head off with a hatchet (off-screen, of course). When John stumbles home drunk, demanding his dinner and genuinely surprised to see Debra’s finally had enough of him, he’s jumped by the Shape he so openly mocked and stabbed in the gut. Michael then hauls John’s gurgling, dying ass into the fuse box, violently electrocuting him to the point where froth and blood bursts from his orifices and his head inexplicably explodes! When Beth and Tim return to the Strode house to wait for Barry, who decides it’d make for better ratings to have his Halloween special at the notorious Myers house, they have a bit off off-screen sexy time (in Kara’s bed, no less!) before Michael attacks them. He gets Tim after his post-sex shower, duping him with a towel and cutting his throat, then Kara’s forced to watch from Tommy’s creepy telescope as Michael repeatedly stabs Beth. Michael also slaughters the cultists in the finale, randomly cutting through them as they’re performing some vague operation for equally vague reasons, leaving a pile of bloody bodies before bashing some surgeon’s head in against some steel bars.

This mess of a film becomes nigh-incomprehensible in the finale.

It’s weird, really. You’d think added blood and bodies would make this one more enjoyable, but it really doesn’t. All it does is turn the once nuanced and genuinely terrifying Michael Myers into a poor man’s Jason Voorhees (Various), which is ridiculously ironic considering their origins. At first, The Curse of Michael Myers seems like it’s retreading ground from the previous films, with a child being targeted by the “curse” and Michael hunting down his remaining family. While redundant, this makes some sense (though the whole “impregnating Jamie” doesn’t. Why not just kill her and end the Myers bloodline?) I don’t even mind the Cult of Thorn as it ties into themes hinted at in previous Halloween movies and adds a supernatural wrinkle to Michael. However, none of it is developed much beyond a few random images on Tommy’s computer and some half-baked exposition. Dr. Wynn’s dramatic reveal leads to nothing as he simply vanishes from the finale. We never explicitly get told what his plan is or what’s going on, so the finale boils down to Tommy and Kara trying to rescue baby Steven. They easily infiltrate Smith’s Grove Sanatorium to do this and evade Michael, despite Tommy’s fear of the Shape. Kara and Tommy take turns bashing Michael with a metal pipe in the basement after tricking him with baby Steven, and then they just flee after beating him up. Dr. Loomis randomly returns only to say he has unfinished business, and then the film ends with the vague suggestion that Michael survived and has killed Dr. Loomis offscreen. The film even has the audacity to end with a tribute to Donald Pleasence, as though it was a fitting swansong for his iconic character!

Final Thoughts:
I often hear about bad movies and wonder if they’re really as bad as people claim. Sadly, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers isn’t just as bad as you’ve heard, it’s worse! It takes everything that was bad about the previous films (derivative retellings of the original film, uninspired kills, unnecessary lore, etc) and dials them up to eleven, desperately trying to explain the notoriously unexplainable Michael Myers and failing miserably. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes that this film has been hacked to pieces. Characters come and go, scenes jump about, and it’s full of sub-plots and moments that either go nowhere or make no sense. This is most noticeable in the criminally reduced screen time for Dr. Loomis, who jumps in and out of the film so sporadically that at times I wondered if he was a figment of Tommy’s imagination. Paul Rudd fails to impress as the older Tommy, being a creep at best and a nut case at worse, but at least he tries to do the right thing and recognises Michael on sight. Kara was ridiculously bland and Danny may as well have been excised from the film since his plot fizzled out without any payoff. All the outrageous, gory deaths in the world can’t keep Michael from being at his most pathetic here. He’s just not scary and is largely treated as a lap dog. I’ve always believed there was some potential in the Cult/Curse of Thorn but it’s so poorly executed that it makes little sense. It’s lazily crammed in to explain Michael’s motivations, poorly explained, and has no payoff in the end since it’s never really clear what Dr. Wynn’s trying to do. This is a travesty of a film, one as hacked up by editors and studio interference as Michael’s victims, and an insult to the Halloween franchise. Don’t even watch it out of morbid curiosity: just avoid it and watch the original again.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

You know you didn’t enjoy Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers so don’t pretend like you did. You agree that this is clearly the worst in the series, yes? That the film was hacked apart and full of nonsensical nonsense? Tell me how much this annoyed you, how frustrating it was to see the series fall from grace. While you’re at it, tell me how are you’re celebrating Halloween this year in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to ease my pain at enduring this shit again!

Movie Night: Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Dr. K3 Comments

Released: 11 July 2008
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $82.5 to 85 million
Box Office: $168.3 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 86% / 71%

Quick Facts:
Despite Hellboy (del Toro, 2004) being an instant cult classic, development of a sequel stalled due to distributor issues. Working alongside Hellboy creator Mike Mignola, director Guillermo del Toro crafted an original story based more on folklore than the source material and utilised intricate practical effects, puppetry, and make-up courtesy of Spectral Motion and Filmefex. Accompanied by various tie-in media, Hellboy II was widely praised but hopes for a spin-off and a third film were ultimately dashed in favour of a reboot.

The Review:
Set about a year after Hellboy/Anung Un Rama (Ron Perlman) and his fellow monsters and humans at the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (B.P.R.D.) stopped a Lovecraftian threat from destroying the world, things have changed slightly in Hellboy’s life. He’s now in a relationship with fellow B.P.R.D. agent and pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman (Selma Blair) and overseen by the fastidious Doctor Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor), who’s exhausted with Hellboy’s belligerent attitude and disrespect for authority. Yes, all that time the previous film spent setting up Agent John Myers (Rupert Evans) as Hellboy’s new carer is thrown out the window for a throwaway gag and Hellboy’s relationship with Manning is antagonistic again, with Manning exasperated at constantly having to cover up news reports and sightings of Hellboy. Hellboy still keeps his late adopted father, Professor Trevor Bruttenholm/Professor Broom (John Hurt), close to heart, fondly remembering childhood stories of King Balor (Roy Dotrice), king of the elves, his legendary, indestructible Golden Army, and the shaky truce King Balor forged between mythical creatures and humanity, which drove his son, Prince Nuada Silverlance (Luke Goss), into exile in disgust. Hellboy also still opposes the forces of darkness but continues to long for the spotlight, frustrated at being cooped up at B.R.P.D. headquarters and longing to be among the people he’s pledged to protect. While Manning generally placates Hellboy with treats like Cuban cigars, Hellboy openly mocks Manning’s orders and takes little heed in staying hidden, resulting in him dramatically revealing himself while he, Liz, and psychic Ichthyo sapien Abraham “Abe” Sapien (Doug Jones) investigate a mysterious massacre at an auction house, one that saw ravenous tooth fairies devour everyone present so Prince Nuada could retrieve part of his father’s lost golden crown.

When Hellboy’s longing for the spotlight backfires, he finds himself torn between two worlds.

Hellboy’s just as arrogant, irresponsible, and childish as ever, despite now being with Liz. She despairs of his cats, his oafish ways, and his longing to be liked and accepted by all, resulting in some tension between them as Hellboy can’t figure out what he’s done wrong. Unaware that Liz’s emotions are all over the place due to her being pregnant, Hellboy tries to win her over with his wit and recklessness, coming up short each time and leading to a drunken heart-to-heart between him and Abe after Abe falls for Prince Nuada’s sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton), and experiences his own troubles with emotion. Although Hellboy gets his wish to be in the spotlight and is initially elated to be exposed, Liz is uncomfortable with being gawked at and even Hellboy is disturbed by how the public reacts to him as they later openly hate and fear him even when he’s doing good. Hellboy feels far more comfortable in the hidden troll market, a bizarre underworld inhabited by all manner of creatures, and finds himself conflicted when Prince Nuada sics the gargantuan forest god upon him and tempts Hellboy with abandoning humanity in favour of monsters. Thanks to Professor Broom’s teachings, Hellboy stays the course, which leads to greater physical and emotional pain when the public angrily reject him and Prince Nuada mortally wounds him, forcing Liz to condemn the world to an eventual fiery end at Hellboy’s hands to save him. Hellboy is amazed to learn that he’s to “become father”, having clearly never expected that he would fulfil his beloved adopted father’s role, but is so eager to embrace the task that he quits the B.R.P.D. once the threat to the world has ended. As ever, Ron Perlman is a joy in this role, portraying Hellboy as a lovable goof who’s a little too full of himself at times, and who’s trying to do his best. He doesn’t necessarily like taking out his “own kind”, however, and is sympathetic to both sides as he walks both worlds, but always defends what is morally right for the majority in the end.

While Liz is as bland as ever, Abe shines in the spotlight faces his own romantic crisis.

Although she clearly has far better control of her powers (and better fire CGI to boot), Liz is still the weak link thanks to Selma Blair’s awkwardly wooden and vapid performance. She has no chemistry with Hellboy, or anyone for that matter, and it’s easy to forget about her or dislike her due to her temper tantrums. Despite being pregnant, she doesn’t have much to do and only really comes to the forefront when bringing the injured Hellboy to the Angel of Death (Doug Jones) to barter for his life, reversing their positions from the last film as she’s the one condemning the Earth to an apocalypse by saving her lover. On the plus side, Abe has a much larger role this time, first in accidentally discovering Liz’s pregnancy and then in how he instantly falls for Princess Nuala. While his psychic abilities, intuition, maturity, and intellect make Abe a far less volatile character than Hellboy, he’s still bashful about his feelings and struggles to express them. Hellboy tries to help him with beer and love songs, but Abe’s connection to Princess Nuala is mainly realised through their shared psychic powers. Abe is fiercely protective of Princess Nuala, despite being outmatched by Prince Nuada and his troll-like henchman, Mister Wink (Brian Steele), and somewhat compromises Hellboy’s ability to fight as any damage done to Prince Nuada is mirrored on Princess Nuala (and vice versa). This comes to a head when Prince Nuada effectively takes his sister hostage and threatens to harm her in return for the final piece of the golden crown, something Abe willingly hands over despite it meaning Prince Nuada will be able to send the Golden Army against humanity. Abe reasons that Hellboy made a similar decision to forsake the world for love in the last movie but is noticeably more naïve regarding his intentions and the trustworthiness of Prince Nuada, who never considered peace between the worlds an option.

Johann’s officious nature sees him clash with Hellboy, who struggles with the morality of his job.

Thanks to Hellboy’s recklessness, the B.R.P.D. are joined by the officious Doctor Johann Krauss (James Dodd, John Alexander, and Seth MacFarlane), a German spectre housed in a special containment suit who’s brought in to bring some order to the team. While Manning is impressed by Johann and takes every opportunity to kiss his ass, Hellboy is apathetic towards his new superior, who regards him as insubordinate, brutish, and boorish. Despite being little more than mist, Johann is more than just an intellectual as he can possess inanimate objects and even the legendary Golden Army to overwhelm foes, with this ability giving the team the leads they need to track down Prince Nuada. While we only get a vague hint towards his backstory, Johann is seen to be a very by-the-book official with little sentiment towards endangered creatures like the forest god. His concern is to the mission and the safety of humanity, though his conduct and appearance mean few give him the respect he feels he deserves. An emotional outburst from Liz triggers a core memory in Johann that sees him willingly defy orders and accompany the others to the Giant’s Causeway to save Hellboy and find Prince Nuada, and he also quits the B.R.P.D. alongside Hellboy, Abe, and Liz after rediscovering his humanity and compassion. Johann seems nonplussed at the public’s reaction towards him but is equally out of his element in the troll market, where he’s explicitly ignored by the locals. Few of these colourful creatures are forthcoming with aid towards Hellboy and the others, however, requiring physical coercion to give up clues or, in the case of the legless Bethmoora Goblin (John Alexander), a trinket to offer help.

A complex villain, Prince Nuada desperately wants to reclaim a world who beauty has been ruined by humanity.

Returning from a self-imposed exile, Prince Nuada has only grown more disgusted with humanity, whom he sees as weak, violent, and ignorant to the fantastical nature of the world. While he loves his father, Prince Nuada is repulsed by the old elf clinging to ways long forgotten by mankind and seeks to remind them of what dwells in the shadows and beneath their feet, regretfully murdering King Balor to kick-start his search for the golden crown. Despite his convictions, Prince Nuada is deeply devoted to his sister, with the two of them sharing a psychic bond and feeling each other’s pain. Even his love for Princess Nuala isn’t enough to keep Prince Nuada from slaughtering those in his way using either henchmen like Mr. Wink or creatures like the tooth fairies, or his own adept skills with a sword or spear. While Hellboy is brutish and undisciplined, Prince Nuada moves like the wind, deftly defying gravity and moving with a grace and speed that is as deadly as it is beautiful. Crucially, Prince Nuada isn’t some cackling villain; he’s deeply offended that his kind have been forgotten and wishes only for his people to rise from the shadows once more. He genuinely offers Hellboy and Abe a place in his new kingdom and is dismayed when they reject him, kill his underlings, and side with the humans, who he feels are dishonourable and unworthy of the world. Prince Nuada’s link with his sister gives him an edge, allowing him to track her, uncover the golden crown, and use her as leverage to hold off Hellboy’s attacks, but he’s more than capable of defending himself, refusing to yield even in defeat. His goal is the Golden Army, “70×70” mechanical warriors that near-instantly repair any damage and form the most formidable army ever conceived, one so awesome that it terrified even King Balor and saw him repent his destructive crusade, one that Prince Nuada seeks to resume.

A fantastic emphasis on practical effects and puppets makes this world more vibrant and tangible than ever.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army is a triumph of practical effects and puppetry. Hellboy looks as great as ever lumbering about in his big trenchcoat and exuded a surprising amount of humanity behind the demonic make-up, and Abe remains disturbingly beautiful with his fish-like appearance. I liked the steampunk vibes of Johann’s containment suit, which also cropped up in the troll market and in Mr. Wink, a hulking brute who sports a detachable mechanical fist. Mr. Wink is almost a dark mirror of Hellboy, being brutish and stubborn and attacking first rather than thinking things through, which leads to his undoing. The movie places far more emphasis on the fantastical nature of Hellboy’s world, spotlighting trolls, goblins, and other forgotten mythical creatures that lurk beneath the city streets. Each is brought to life using intricate and impressive practical effects and animatronics, with Doug Jones lending his unique physicality to roles like the slender Chamberlain and the disturbing, gaunt Angel of Death, a skeletal figure with tattered dark wings sporting eyeballs! Brian Steele should also be commended for his work as the Fragglewump and other roles, while the forest elemental brought the fantasy world into the city streets with a beautiful, tragic appearance that sees Hellboy forced to blow its “brains” out, its carcass growing grass and wildflowers across the concrete jungle. Hellboy busts out a massive hand cannon to begrudgingly do this, though has surprisingly few other new toys. Hellboy still largely relies on his sidearm, massive stone fist, and a bit of luck and adaptability to get through most fights. He’s overpowered by Mr. Wink, for example, but smartly tricks the troll into getting his chain-fist stuck in a grinder. However, Hellboy’s tendency to hit first and think or ask questions later is easily exploited by Johann, who amusingly possesses some lockers to humble Hellboy, and sees him outclassed by the far more skilled Prince Nuada.

Though Hellboy stops Prince Nuada, the cost is high and he decides to rethink his priorites.

Thanks to his psychic bond with his sister, Prince Nuada infiltrates the B.R.P.D. and critically wounds Hellboy, taking Princess Nuala hostage to force them to bring him the last crown piece. An unexpected assist from Johann sees Hellboy saved and he, Liz, Abe, and Johann defy Manning’s orders and travel to the Giant’s Causeway, where the Angel of Death heals Hellboy ahead of them being led to the abandoned resting place of the Golden Army. Though shocked when Abe willingly hands over the crown piece, Hellboy and the others quickly focus on fending off the reactivated mechanical warriors, initially seeming to have a chance against the Golden Army before the group sees the robots piece themselves back together. As the only way to stop the Golden Army is for a suitable challenger to dispute Prince Nuada’s claim to them, Hellboy flaunts his status as Anung Un Rama to challenge Prince Nuada, promising Abe to leave the disgruntled elf alive to safeguard Princess Nuala. The two battle atop an elaborate clockwork set, hopping to giant moving cogs that threaten to crush them, with Hellboy being clearly outclassed by the agile prince, who bests him at every turn. However, Hellboy’s craftiness sees him catch Prince Nuada from behind and overpower him, bringing him to his knees. Though Prince Nuada demands to be executed and promises to never stop his quest to destroy the human world, Hellboy retrieves the crown and is happy to leave him alive but defeated, only for the prince to try stabbing Hellboy in the back. Thus, Princess Nuala’s forced to kill herself to stop her brother, the two dying regretfully and somewhat emotionally in Hellboy and Abe’s arms, respectively. After Liz melts the crown and the group returns to the surface, they make a point to resign from the B.P.R.D., sick of the conflict between man and monster, and Hellboy prepares to start a new life with Liz and their forthcoming twins.

Final Thoughts:
Hellboy II: The Golden Army is an absolutely gorgeous movie. Guillermo del Toro’s focus on practical effects and puppets gives every character, no matter how abnormal, a real weight and believability that is often missing from modern Hollywood. This also allows the CGI to blend far better and to make everything feel very tactile and real, increasing the stakes for the protagonists and presenting a rich world hidden behind modern society. While my experience with Hellboy’s comics is very limited, Hellboy II feels much more like a Guillermo del Toro film with its focus on the fantastical and mythological, weaving them into Hellboy’s world in a way that makes perfect sense and tests the unlikely hero as he must choose between saving a world that hates and despises him or embracing a world where he can freely be a monster. Hellboy remains one of Ron Perlman’s greatest roles and I really liked how the character struggled with the moral ambiguity of his mission, and with trying to figure out his woman and embrace a new, unexpected destiny as a father. Selma Blair remains as bland and uninteresting as ever, but I liked the extra focus on Abe and his own difficulties with emotion, and the fun antagonism between Johann and other others, which led to some amusing moments. Luke Goss was mesmerising as the tragic Prince Nuada, a villain whose motivations are entirely justified and who presents a significant challenge for Hellboy by simply being a better fighter. He’s also got a great deal of depth, truly loving his sister and their kind and regretful that it’s come to war, and convincingly tests Hellboy’s convictions. It still annoys me that we never got a conclusion for these characters and this world as I would’ve loved to see where Guillermo del Toro took them next, but I’m forever grateful that we got Hellboy II, which showcases just how creative and awe-inspiring cinema can be.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Hellboy II: The Golden Army? Did you like that Abe got more of the spotlight? Were you also amazed by the practical effects and animatronics? Do you think Prince Nuada had a point? Were you also disappointed we never got a third film? What are some of your favourite Hellboy stories? Share your thoughts on Hellboy II in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night [Bat-Month]: Batman (1966)

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Since his first appearance in the pages of Detective Comics, Bruce Wayne/Batman has become a pop culture icon. September celebrates “Batman Day”, the perfect excuse to celebrate this grim and broody vigilante.

Released: 30 July 1966
Director: Leslie H. Martinson
Distributor: 20th Century Fox

Budget: $1.378 million
Box Office: $3.9 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 80% / 62%

Quick Facts:
Between 1966 and 1968, Batman took audiences by storm with its sardonic wit and camp action, cementing star Adam West as one of the most iconic versions of the character. Executive producer William Dozier wanted a feature film to hype the first season, using the increased budget to debut some fun new Bat-vehicles. Though Julie Newmar was replaced by Lee Meriwether and the show’s popularity eventually declined, this surprisingly faithful adaptation of the comics remains a celebrated cult classic.

The Review:
Released a mere two months into the first series, Batman (or Batman: The Movie) is a gloriously camp, ridiculously colourful and bonkers action/adventure that, rather than provide a definitive origin for Bruce Wayne/Batman (Adam West) and his youthful ward, Richard “Dick” Grayson/Robin (Burt Ward), is largely an excuse to use the heightened budget to film a bunch of stock footage for the television show. Although the classic Batman theme song is absent in the strictest sense, recycled for a traditional film score, and Catwoman (who takes the alias Kitanya “Kitka” Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff/Miss Kitka) is portrayed by Lee Meriwether, Batman’s most colourful rogues are represented in all their madcap glory for easily their most ludicrous and ambitious plan yet. The Joker (Cesar Romero), Oswald Cobblepott/The Penguin (Burgess Meredith), Edward Nygma/The Riddler (Frank Gorshin), and Catwoman form the “United Underworld” of super criminals. Despite often bickering, jostling for authority, and seeking to one-up each other’s wacky schemes, they unite with two mutual goals: destroy Batman and Robin (preferably using one of the Penguin’s many exploding marine animals) and kidnap delegates from the United World Organization’s Security Council (including Albert Carrier, Gregory Gaye, Maurice Dallimore, and Teru Shimada) in a bid for world domination. Their plot to carry out this dastardly act is ridiculously simple: fool the Dynamic Duo with an elaborate holographic projection and kidnap Commodore Schmidlapp (Reginald Denny), keeping him placated so they can steal and repurpose his genius “Total Dehydrator”, a device which removes all moisture from a victim’s body, reducing them to dust and storing them as “light water” to be rehydrated later.

Death traps, nonsensical riddles, and mid-day traffic are easily overcome by the highly capable Dynamic Duo.

Initially, Batman, Robin, Commissioner James “Jim” Gordon (Neil Hamilton), and Police Chief O’Hara (Stafford Repp) are baffled by the methods used by the villains. Eventually, however, their worst fears come true when they realise that the four supervillains have joined forces. Yet, while Batman easily solves the the Riddler’s absurdly convoluted riddles, our heroes are often stumped by the quadruple threat. Rather than cause mass panic, Batman downplays the incident to the Gotham City press and investigates further, using outrageous leaps in logic to figure out how the villains fooled them and who their next target is. Batman is comically capable here, easily the smartest person in the room and yet continually encouraging others (especially Robin) to figure out clues for themselves to reach his bonkers conclusions. Batman and Robin are said to be “fully deputised members of the police” and regularly operate in the daytime and with the full cooperation of the police and the public, who regard them with reverence that borders on awe. Thus, Vice Admiral Fangschleister (Milton Frome) is initially elated to receive a phone call from Batman regarding the sale of a nuclear submarine and then disheartened to learn he was duped into selling it to “P. N. Guin”. Batman also has a bat-branded gadget or device for every occasion, easily fending off exploding sharks, deflecting missiles, and traversing the city by car, helicopter, or boat. In a world full of vibrant pantomime villains, Batman and Commissioner Gordon play things deathly straight. Adam West delivers every line with a grave undertone or exaggerated exuberance, chewing the scenery at every opportunity and helping the comedy to land even harder because he and Neil Hamilton take it so seriously. Even when Robin’s solving riddles with suggestions like “a sparrow with a machine gun”, they just nod along in complete agreement as if there was no other solution, and it’s a joy to see.

While Bruce is besotted by Miss Kitka, he’s supported by Alfred and the ever-enthusiastic Robin.

Interestingly, Bruce Wayne gets a fair bit of screen time here. While he’s mostly just running to and from the Batcave, he takes centre stage when the United Underground plot to kidnap the millionaire and hold him hostage, sure that Batman and Robin would race head-first into their death trap to rescue him. Thus, Miss Kitka (having already caught Batman’s eye at the press conference) easily bewitches Bruce with concerns of a threat from the villains, causing him to hatch an elaborate scheme to take Miss Kitka on a date and have Robin and their loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth (Alan Napier), follow in the Batmobile to intervene when the villains strike. However, Robin gets a bit uncomfortable watching Bruce and Miss Kitka play tonsil hockey and tunes out, meaning he’s too late to save Bruce from being kidnapped. Unaware that the beautiful Soviet reporter he’s falling for is secretly Catwoman, Bruce rages at the villains, threatening to kill them if they harm Miss Kitka, and giving them a beating before doing what he does best and outsmarting the evildoers and escaping. Robin is generally Batman’s echo chamber, there to enthusiastically shout encouragement or hit upon comical solutions, but he’s fiercely loyal to Batman and always has his back. He’s dismayed when it appears Batman’s been blown up by an absurdly oversized bomb, takes it for granted that the Batcopter would safely land on a convenient pile of foam, and is always on hand to offer suggestions, like commandeering a taxi, even if he often defers to Batman’s age and experience. There’s not much for Commissioner Gordon or Chief O’Hara to do except be Batman’s cheerleaders, but it was amusing seeing Alfred don a domino mask and drive Robin around as part of their scheme.

The bickering, colourful, outrageous villains steal every scene with their madcap personalities and plot.

As amazing as Batman is, however, even he’s intimidated at the thought of his greatest villains forming a cabal. Although the villains squabble, with each thinking they’re the leader and have the best goons or plans, they begrudgingly get on the same page to work towards a common goal. The goons are holed up in a seedy bar and utilise the Penguin’s repurposed nuclear submarine to plan and execute their scheme, which involves building a makeshift cabin to dupe Commodore Schmidlapp and boobytrap their headquarters with hopes to flinging Batman and Robin into an unseen exploding octopus. The villains eventually realise their best chance of success is to incorporate all their individual gimmicks and ideas, though the Riddler’s obsessive compulsion with bamboozling Batman with obtuse riddles often annoys his cohorts. Similarly, the Joker is initially annoyed at how bossy the Penguin is on his submarine and Catwoman is constantly berating the others for bungling their plot. When infiltrating the United World Headquarters, the Riddle is equally nonplussed about whether the Penguin succeeded in his separate ploy to infiltrate the Batcave in the guise of Commodore Schmidlapp. While Batman and Robin aren’t fooled by this in the slightest, they go along with the ruse to get an idea of the villain’s plot, only to be aghast when the Penguin’s rehydrated goons vanish into “antimatter” due to being reconstituted with “hard water”. As great as Batman and Robin are, the villains steal the show. The Joker is a cackling, moustachioed maniac, Catwoman is a sultry temptress, the Riddler is absolutely off his rocker, and the Penguin waddles about with manic glee. Romero and Gorshin are practically bouncing off the walls at times, while Meredith quacks through gritted teeth and postures with delusions of grandeur. Catwoman is easily the most level-headed, often cutting through their nonsense to get them on track, while the Penguin has all the fancy gadgets and goons, though the Joker and the Riddler’s machination see the Dynamic Duo faced with numerous hilarious near-death experiences.

The ridiculous camp is married with some impressive vehicles and interior sets in this colourful adventure.

You can definitely see the money on the screen in Batman. The show was famous for its elaborate and expensive sets and they really shine on the big screen, with the Batcave standing out as a fully stocked laboratory with every bat-themed device the plot requires. The villains’ skewed lair is a fun mirror of the Batcave, being much more lowkey but still filled with personalised areas and their individual gimmicks. They later transition to the Penguin’s submarine, which isn’t as interesting an interior, but I did like that each had a personalised station on the periscope and that every control console was clearly and obnoxiously labelled. As ever, the costumes are colourful and ripped right from the comic books. Batman and Robin are especially impressive, with both men filling out their spandex admirably, but the outrageous villains give them more than a run for their money. The Penguin stood out for me thanks to his hilariously mad impersonation of Commodore Schmidlapp, the cigarette holder permanently clamped between his teeth, and his ridiculous gas-filled umbrella. Most notably, Batman spends a lot of time having the Dynamic Duo hop between the Batmobile, Batcopter, Batcycle, and Batboat. Though obvious stunt doubles and rear projection are used in these sequences, it’s always a thrill seeing the 1960s Batmobile roar to life. I really enjoyed the Batcopter scenes, especially with Robin unnecessarily hanging upside down on the Batrope to deliver the Shark Repellent Batspray, and the Batboat scenes, both of which include some cinematic wide shots through the city and over the ocean. The Penguin’s personalised submarine was also a fun model, and I really enjoyed the big fight scene on the submarine (surprisingly the only use of the comic book sound effects in the film), which was shot on an elaborate water set.

After a bombastic submarine brawl, the Dynamic Duo (mostly) restore the World Security Council…

Despite all the comical nonsense, such as the villains being aggravated when Batman doesn’t come to rescue Bruce Wayne, Batman racing around the pier desperately trying to get rid of a bomb (one of the most amusing sequences of the film!), and the Riddler’s ridiculous riddles, the United Underworld successfully dehydrate and abduct the World Security Council. Hot on their trail, desperate the rescue the delegates and Miss Kitka, Batman and Robin force the Penguin’s submarine to surface after bombarding it was “Batcharges” and a furious fistfight breaks out on the deck that sees the Dynamic Duo tangle up the Penguin, the Joker, and Riddler and all their henchmen. When Catwoman flees into the sub, she trips and loses her disguise, leaving Batman briefly devastated when he realises she was Miss Kitka all along. Quickly shrugging off his heartbreak and returning to duty, Batman secures the dehydrated World Security Council, only for the confounded Commodore Schmidlapp to accidentally break the vials and scatter their powdered remains. Luckily, the Batcave has a “Super Molecular Dust Separator” that the Dynamic Dup use to filter the mingled dust particles. Though Robin suggests they “shuffle” the delegates’ personalities to encourage world peace, Batman advises against playing God lest they cause a catastrophe like the Penguin’s hard water minions. Thus, with Commissioner Gordon, President Lyndon B. Johnson (Van Williams), and the world watching, Batman and Robin successfully rehydrate the World Security Council. Amusingly, despite Batman’s meticulous efforts, the delegates have their personalities mixed up, leaving him to hope that the “strange mixing of minds” could benefit humanity. The Dynamic Duo then “discreetly” exit via a nearby window using their Batropes and dump the problem on someone else!

Final Thoughts:
This is my first time watching Batman in years, maybe even over a decade, and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I watched it a lot as a kid and was really into it then, but I was glad to find my enjoyment wasn’t stifled despite me preferring a dark, gritter Batman. There’s an infectious charm to this interpretation of the Caped Crusader (which was actually far more comic accurate than people think) and I really liked that the show and its movie weren’t afraid of the ludicrous nature of the source material. Everyone is decked out in colourful costumes and giving it their all, with Batman playing things straight as an arrow and his villains chewing the scenery with their pantomime-like behaviour. I love how tongue-in-cheek everything is, from the ridiculous solutions to the Riddler’s puzzles to that damn bomb scene (!) and the villains’ outrageous plot. Adam West remains one of the quintessential benchmarks for Batman. I love how intelligent and capable his Batman is, and that he’s constantly mentoring and encouraging those around him. Robin is full of enthusiasm and energy and throws himself into everything, and I really liked how the city was so enamoured by the duo. The villains steal the show, however, with their rambunctious performances. There’s such manic energy to the men and a tangible sexuality to Catwoman that’s appealing even today. I really enjoyed how elaborate and overblown everything was and the fun vehicles and sight gags used throughout the film. My only complaints are that the Batman theme wasn’t used more and that the “Pow!”, “Biff!” sound effects only appear in the finale. Otherwise, Batman remains a rollicking good time. If you only like dark, moody, super serious Batman then you might dislike this film but you’d honestly be missing out as it’s a fantastic, vibrant piece of camp fun that’s as enjoyable to me now as it was thirty-odd years ago.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Do you also have a soft spot for the 1966 Batman movie? Were you a fan of the show back in the day or were you turned off by the camp nonsense? Which of the outrageous villains featured here was your favourite? Did you correctly guess the answers to the Riddler’s riddles? Would you have liked to see another feature film spin-off of the show? How are you celebrating Batman this month and which Batman movie is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on this version of Batman, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to support the site.

Movie Night [MK Day]: Mortal Kombat II

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To celebrate the simultaneous worldwide release of Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992) on home consoles, 13 September 1993 was dubbed “Mortal Monday”. Thus, it’s only fitting that to celebrate this influential fighting series every September 13th.

Released: 8 May 2026
Director: Simon McQuoid
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures

Budget: $80 million
Box Office: $75.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 65% / 89%

Quick Facts:
The success and controversy of Mortal Kombat saw producer Lawrence Kasanoff produce both cult hits and disappointing lows. After years in limbo, Mortal Kombat returned to the big screen with a lukewarm reboot that nonetheless saw cast and crew up for a sequel. Determined to address fan feedback, the filmmakers opted for a more faithful adaptation, though reviews remained mixed.

The Review:
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m biased towards the 1995 Mortal Kombat film (I did write about it for my PhD thesis, after all). However, I’m a big Mortal Kombat fan and was excited to see a new version of it after years of stop/start projects and small screen ventures. Unfortunately, I wasn’t very impressed with the 2021 reboot, mainly because the story was so choppy, the tournament was absent, and the characters weren’t as appealing as the 1995 version. To make matters worse, despite the franchise’s massive roster and already painting fan favourite Johnny Cage as the “Everyman” outsider in 1995, the 2021 film chose to craft a brand-new audience surrogate, Cole Young (Lewis Tan), an athletic but sadly bland character who could’ve easily been Johnny Cage with just a few script tweaks. Mortal Kombat II aimed to address these issues, and more, and you can tell it’s aiming to be closer to the source material right from the start as the intro and titles mimic the opening of its videogame namesake. More areas from the games are also recreated (though through jarringly obvious green screen), fights are occasionally presented in a way that apes the videogames, and series co-creator Ed Boon makes a gratuitous cameo as a bartender. Having stifled manipulative Outworld sorcerer Shang Tsung’s (Chin Han) attempts to sabotage Earthrealm’s warriors in the last film, Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) has moved his chosen fighters to his sky temple to prepare for the generational Mortal Kombat tournament that will determine the fate of humanity. However, also thanks to Shang Tsung, Raiden is one fighter down as Shaolin monk Kung Lao (Max Huang) died in the last film, so he and Lieutenant Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) head to Hollywood to recruit a new fighter.

Despite overshadowing all the returning fighters, even Cage is side-lined in favour of Kitana.

So, right away there’s some issues. Mortal Kombat ’21 ended with Cole heading to Hollywood to recruit Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), but this film opens with the tournament mere hours away and the washed-up action star still attending conventions rather than fighting. This means we must suffer through a janky, rushed, and frankly insulting first twenty minutes or so as Cage is brought up to speed with the plot. Considering Raiden and the others gave Sonya and Cole such a hard time in the last movie for not carrying the Elder God’s mark or being unprepared for the tournament, they’re oddly far more lenient on Cage, who’s wracked with self-doubt as his glory days are behind him and hilariously incredulous to Earthrealm’s plight. Once he learns that Mortal Kombat is a fight to the death, Cage bows out, only to be forced into fighting anyway because that’s apparently what happens now. While Karl Urban seems a better fight for Kano, he’s one of the few highlights of this film and perfectly captures Cage’s snarky attitude, prima donna arrogance, and bombastic scepticism. It was odd, however, seeing him go from reluctantly fighting Princess Kitana (Adeline Rudolph) to literally running in fear of Baraka (CJ Bloomfield) and suddenly shift from being incapable of fighting to being very competent sometimes in the same fight. Despite being the focal point of the film’s marketing, Cage shares the main character role with Kitana, an Edenina princess forced to serve as tyrannical emperor Shao Kahn’s (Martyn Ford) daughter/assassin who has secretly been conspiring with Raiden to defat Outworld. Having witnessed her father, King Jerrod’s (Desmond Chiam) brutal slaughter and her mother, Queen Sindel’s (Ana Thu Nguyen) enslavement by Shao Kahn, Kitana has every reason to oppose the emperor, not least to liberate her people, which causes conflict between her and her loyal bodyguard, Jade (Tati Gabrielle). Between the two of them, Cage and Kitana present narrative arcs far more compelling than anyone else’s though it is strange that these new films shift the focus away from long-time franchise protagonist Liu Kang (Ludi Lin).

Sadly, returning characters aren’t given much screen time or depth and are killed for shock value.

Indeed, we’re two films in and we know very little about Liu Kang other than he was raised/trained by Raiden and is desperate to save his brother, Kung Lao’s corrupted soul. He’s a pure-hearted fighter and said to be the best of Earthrealm’s warriors, but he has no interaction with Kitana beyond a few respectful bows and glances, meaning his entire arc is centred on trying to help Kung Lao. Liu Kang has little personal rivalry with Shang Tsung or Shao Kahn beyond him wanting to save his realm and few meaningful interactions with Cage either, which is also true of Major Jackson “Jax” Briggs (Mehcad Brooks), Sonya, and Cole. These four only have superficial depth thanks to the previous film; we learn nothing new about them, and they accept Cage so easily that it makes the entire previous film’s plot redundant. Jax and Sonya remain fiercely loyal to each other and are even willing to spare Jade to maintain Raiden’s relationship with Kitana, but there’s no romantic sub-plot between Sonya and Cage. In fact, Liu Kang, Jax, and Sonya are more apt to mock Cage and his fighting skills, which amusingly bites them when Baraka is won over by Cage’s theatrical and unorthodox fighting style. Despite his role in the last movie and being the ancestor of legendary fighter Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion (Hiroyuki Sanada), tough-skinned cage fighter Cole is pushed far into the background here. There’s a passing mention of his wife and daughter and he’s seen to be as committed to defending Earthrealm as the others, but the spotlight is so far off him it’s almost insulting. With him largely absent from the marketing and so reviled by fans, it’s no surprise that Cole is offed in the tournament, but the execution left a bitter taste in my mouth. For starters, Cole is matched up against the newly invincible Shao Kahn (who really shouldn’t be fighting in the tournament if you ask me). Cole’s unceremonious death is thus a foregone conclusion, but his so-called friends barely react to their loss and are laughing and joking about Cage soon after, with Cole quickly forgotten. And like yeah, I wasn’t a fan of his, but I think he deserved better than that!

Fan favourite characters steal the film but are also frustratingly side-lined.

Despite his garb being closer to his videogame counterpart, Tadanobu Asano continues to disappoint as Raiden. He lacks the stature, gravitas, and charisma of Christopher Lambert and feels like a very weak and ineffectual Thunder God. His character is noticeably and jarringly softened here, with him being much more amicable towards Cage than he was to Cole or Sonya, and the film adds a fatherly slant to his relationship with Liu Kang and Kung Lao. Raiden’s placed in mortal danger here as Shao Kahn has necromancer Quan Chi (Damon Herriman) resurrect foul-mouthed mercenary Kano (Josh Lawson) to acquire the amulet of the fallen Elder God, Shinnok. The corrupted Kung Lao then slices Raiden’s throat to empower the amulet, which gifts Shao Kahn near-immortality and ties Earthrealm’s fate directly to Raiden’s. Although he still doesn’t sport his bionic eye (despite Quan Chi saying they’ll “build him a new one”), Kano remains a highlight. As crude and quick-witted as ever, Kano relishes the chance to get back in the fight but quickly grows tired of Outworld’s desolate offerings and double-crosses the evildoers. Once Kano’s teamed with Johhny Cage, the fil really hits its stride (which sadly come sin the third act) as the two make for a fun duo, scouring the hellish Netherreealm in search of Hasashi and the resurrected Bi-Han (Joe Taslim), formally Sub-Zero (and never referred to as Noob Saibot despite obviously being him) who safeguards Shinnok’s amulet. Sadly, Kano comes in far too late to help with the film’s paper-thin plot or the elevate the frustratingly one-dimensional characters. Equally, the film decides to sideline Sindel, who starts as an avid defender of Edenia and is then seemingly corrupted (presumably by Quan Chi’s dark magic) into Shao Kahn’s bride before being abruptly killed by Sonya and then randomly reappearing so Shao Kahn can interrogate Kitana. Considering how important Sindel usually is to Shao Kahn’s plots and Kitana’s character, it’s bizarre to see her be an afterthought. Jade gets more screen time and relevance as she’s torn between her friendship with Kitana and her loyalty to Shao Kahn!

As unnecessary and underutilised as Shang Tsung and Quan Chi are, Shao Kahn is a force to be reckoned with!

While I wasn’t a fan of Chin Han’s Shang Tsung in the last film (he’s not even comparable to Bruce Locke, let alone the immortal Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), I was equally frustrated and disappointed to see him side-lined in the sequel. Shang Tsung faces no repercussions for his defeat and loses with little authority and menace he had as he’s reduced to the emperor’s underling. It doesn’t help that the movie brings in Quan Chi to resurrect and corrupt fallen fighters, a role that Shang Tsung probably could’ve filled without much issue. On the plus side, Shao Kahn is presented as a monstrous, intimidating figure of unimaginable power even before he gains Raiden’s God-like power. Constantly garbed in intimidating armour, a skull-like helmet, and wielding a devastating battle axe, Shao Kahn is a brutal and menacing villain made even more threatening by his loquacious demeanour. He’s not some mindless despot or a mewling man-child with daddy issues; he’s a cold, calculating villain who isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. Crucially, Shao Kahn is seen to be vulnerable despite his stature. He looks like he could easily crush anyone in his path but every fight he’s in is framed in a way that gives his opponent a chance to win as they score glancing blows or even kill shots, only for the emperor to either shrug it off or instantly heal thanks to Shinnok’s amulet. Sure, we don’t get any depth to him or backstory and he’s as simple a character as “big evil bad guy who wants to conquer everything”, but I liked that he wasn’t needlessly killing off his underlings, that he gave his opponents a fighting chance, and that he embodied the character so appropriately. Any time Shao Kahn appeared, you knew some shit was gonna go down and it was very effective seeing people cower and bow to his sheer might, while also sowing the seeds of dissension as Sahng Tsung clearly covets the emperor’s throne and power.

While the fights, gore, and fan service are top notch, they come at the expense of characters and story.

In keeping with the previous film, Mortal Kombat II places a greater focus on its fights and gore than the plot of the characters. On paper, this makes sense and is fine enough for certain audiences, but I miss the heart and the characters of the 1995 film, which also boasted some impressive martial arts. We get a sense of the kind of action star Cage was thanks to some footage of his dreadful action movies, which is fun, but again this is oddly translated into his fights as Cage is just as likely to cry foul and ask for a stunt man despite being a legitimate fighter. The tournament finally features here, with characters being teleported to recognisable locations like the spike-ladened bottom of the pit, the ominous portal bridge, and the acid pits for their fights. Weirdly, the film insults our intelligence by having magic flames go out when fighters are defeated and recycles many of the same locations (the ransacked Edenian town square, for example), but it makes up for this by going all-in with the characters’ special moves. Liu Kang’s tossing fireballs and flaming kicks, Sonya fires her rings, Jax is fully comfortable with his bionic arms, and Kano relishes blasting fools with his eye laser. Naturally, given her prominence, a lot of focus is placed on Kitana’s razor-sharp fans but Jade’s staff gets a lot of time in the spotlight, too. Since Cage repeats Cole’s arc from the last movie, he doesn’t gain his green aura until the finale, but he still punches Baraka in the dick and impresses with his unorthodox fighting. Sindel represents every pre-teen gamer by spamming her banshee scream, leading to Sonya impaling her on the pit’s spikes, and Shao Khan even darts in with his patented shoulder charge. Without a doubt, the film’s best fight sequence is the throwdown between Liu Kang and his revenant brother, with Kung Lao now tossing a gnarly buzzsaw hat that ultimately proves his bloody undoing. Still, before that, the two put on a hell of a physical spectacle as Li Kang desperately tries to reason with his brother before vowing to find a way to free him.

Thanks to a little help and a lot of sacrifices, Kitana avenges her father and ends Shao Kahn’s threat.

This fight’s closest competition come sin the finale, when Cage and Kano recruit Scorpion’s help and battle Bi-Han and his gooey double alongside the ninja-like spectre. It’s always great seeing Scorpion and Sub-Zero clash, though Bi-Han was given even less characterisation than before, sported all new shadow-based powers, and appeared far too late to be as relevant as he could be. While that fight’s going on, Liu Kang and Sonya fight Shao Kahn to rescue the strung-up Kitana, since Jax was also killed by the emperor. This fight also goes a bit south as Liu kang is surprisingly killed, though he accepts his fate as he realises his true destiny was to reunite with Kung Lao in the afterlife. With Sonya down and clearly no match for Shao Kahn, it’s left up to Kitana to oppose the emperor and avenge her father. Unfortunately, despite her obvious fighting talent, Kitana’s hindered by Shao Kahn’s newfound immortality, thus linking her fight to the Netherrealm clash. Luckily, with Scorpion and Jade’s help, Cage and Kano overcome Bi-Han and his double and destroy Shinnok’s amulet, right as Shang Tsung (who randomly pops up after a lengthy absence) is poised to killed Raiden. With the amulet destroyed, Raiden’s returned to full power and Shao Kahn is made mortal, allowing Kitana to disarm and subdue Shao Kahn, unmasking him before her subjugated people and ending him by slicing his head into pieces with her fans. Immediately hailed as Edenia’s queen, Kitana encourages her people to stand and relish their newfound freedom, with Cage later embellishes to impress Baraka and his clan. Having found a new purpose in life, Cage not only follows through on his promise to tutor the Tarkartans but joins Raiden and the others in beginning a new quest. With the captured Quan Chi in tow, Cage and the others set out to rescue their deceased friends, though Sonya vows to kill Kano (again…) once this goal is achieved.

Final Thoughts:
I went into Mortal Kombat II with low expectations. I recently rewatched the 2021 reboot before it and was surprised by how annoyed by it I was, with it’s awful pacing, poor character development, and focus on gore over story. Mortal Kombat II was always going to have an uphill battle because of that, and I really felt like it was weighed down by the reboot’s decisions. Unfortunately, rather than address these in a meaningful way, Mortal Kombat II throws Johnny Cage in our face like a play toy and shunts everyone, not just Cole, to the background, making the last film feel even more redundant as this is the movie that one should’ve been! Luckily, Karl Urban is great as the conceited Cage and I really enjoyed the focus on Kitana, who carried the emotional weight of the barebones plot. Kano also helped with this, but he appears far too late to help as much as he could, same with Scorpion (who I would’ve thought would’ve appeared after Cole’s death…) and Bi-Han. It was great to see Shao Kahn done justice on the big screen, and I did like seeing Quan Chi come back, as overused and unnecessary as he was, and of course the fights and gore were great…when they appeared. I honestly felt like the gore and Fatalities were underplayed this time, and that the tournament again felt very secondary. It lacked the scale seen in the 1995 movie, for one thing, even with the game-accurate locations, and the plot was more focused on Shinnok’s amulet (which Shao Kahn rally didn’t need as he was already unstoppable) rather than more interesting elements, like Sindel and her relationship with Kitana, or Shang Tsung’s aspirations, or the feud between Scorpion and Bi-Han. Ultimately, I give this film the edge over the last one as this is what I wanted to see from the 2021 reboot, but Mortal Kombat II was disappointing to me. it was far too rushed at the start, retread a lot of the same ground, side-lined or underdeveloped returning characters, and was so obviously trying to placate us with fan service that it became insulting.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Mortal Kombat II? Were you also annoyed that Cole Young and the other fighters were side-lined? Did you enjoy Karl Urban’s performance as Johnny Cage? Were you surprised to see Kitana take the spotlight? Which of the fights was your favourite? Did you also find the film rushed and messy Wat are your hopes for a third film? How are you celebrating Mortal Kombat today? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Mortal Kombat content on the site.

Movie Night [Star Trek Day]: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

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8 September 1966 saw the debut of Star Trek (1966 to 1969), “The Man Trap” (Daniels, 1966), beginning a massive cultural phenomenon and perhaps the most influential science-fiction franchise of all time. Accordingly designated “Star Trek Day”, the September 8 is the perfect excuse to celebrate this enduring sci-fi franchise.

Released: 6 December 1991
Director: Nicholas Meyer
Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $96.8 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 83% / 84%

Quick Facts:
Following Star Trek V: The Final Frontier’s (Shatner, 1989) critical and commercial failure, Paramount Pictures initially planned to recover with a prequel set at Starfleet Academy before star Leonard Nimoy assisted with writing a swan song for the original cast that doubled as an allegory for the “Cold War”. Sets and models were again re-used to save money, the Klingons were redesigned by Dodie Shepard, and Industrial Light & Magic produced the many visual and practical effects that co-existed with political and Shakespearean intrigue.

The Review:
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is essentially about finality. It’s the last film for the Original Series crew, the last time all the Original Series actors appeared in a film together, the Enterprise-A is a few months from being decommissioned, the main characters are set to be retired, and the plot concerns the end of decades of hostility with the war-like Klingon Empire. This doesn’t come about naturally, however, but is forced upon the aggressive race when one of their moons explodes and devastates Qo’noS, threatening to render the planet inhospitable (and potentially make the Klingons extinct) within fifty Earth years. Out of desperation, Klingon Chancellor Gorkon (David Warner) offers an olive branch to the United Federation of Planets, promising to end hostilities and broker peace if the Federation assists with evacuating Qo’noS and sheltering the Klingons, who can no longer afford to go to war since their resources are so tight. Captain Spock (Leonard Nimoy) spearheads the negotiations with Chancellor Gorkon, seeing a historic chance to foster true galactic peace, but faces opposition from bigoted Federation Admiral Cartwright (Brock Peters) and Spock’s long-time friend and crewmate, Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner). Indeed, Kirk is outraged to learn that Spock personally vouched for him to take the Enterprise-A to escort Chancellor Gorkon to Earth for peace talks. Considering Kirk has been at war with the Klingons for most of his life and harbours a personal grudge against them for the death of his son, the legendary captain is adamant that the barbaric race cannot be trusted and should be left to perish for their crimes. However, despite his personal feelings, Kirk is duty-bound to adhere to his orders and reluctantly meets with Chancellor Gorkon, even inviting him and his detachment – including daughter Azetbur (Rosanna DeSoto) and veteran General Chang (Christopher Plummer) – to dinner.

On the eve of unprecedented peace, Kirk and Bones are framed for assassinated a Klingon chancellor.

Although Chancellor Gorkon is immediately seen to be unlike his more brutish comrades, Kirk remains apprehensive, at best, and disgusted at worst, and sceptical of the entire situation in general. Kirk immediately gets a bad vibe from General Chang, who spends the entire evening quoting the “original Klingon” of William Shakespeare and banging on about how the two are kindred warrior spirits, and Kirk’s crew struggle to stomach the Klingons’ bad table manners. While Kirk is mature enough to recognise that he conducted himself poorly, he refuses to trust Chancellor Gorkon and grapples with the idea that such a huge part of his life, hostilities with Klingons, could be ending. Kirk is aghast, however, when the Enterprise-A suddenly fires upon the chancellor’s unsuspecting Bird-of-Prey, sending the bridge crew into a mad panic to discover how they’ve fired when their torpedo stock is accounted for. While Captain Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (James Doohan), Commander Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig), and newcomer Lieutenant Valeris (Kim Cattrall) scramble for answers, two unknown assailants in Federation spacesuits board the Bird-of-Prey and gun down Chancellor Gorkon and some of his crew. When the rightly incensed General Chang assumes Kirk has launched an unprovoked attack and moves to respond, Kirk orders the Enterprise-A to surrender and he and Doctor Leonard “Bones” McCoy (DeForest Kelley) desperately try to save Chancellor Gorkon, only for Bones to be strangely baffled by Klingon anatomy and meet with failure. Blamed for the attack and the assassination, Kirk and Bones are arrested and forced to stand trial in what’s little more than a kangaroo court, where Kirk’s prior prejudices and even his private log are used against him as evidence, alongside McCoy’s age and perceived incompetence. Kirk and Bones are thus convicted as the perpetrators of a devious attempt to upend peace talks and sentenced to life imprisonment on the harsh world of Rura Penthe, a frozen planetoid where prisoners work themselves to death digging for dilthium. Meanwhile, Azetbur succeeds her father and agrees to continue his efforts for a truce with the understandably flustered Federation President (Kurtwood Smith).

The Enterprise-A crew come together to find the true culprit behind the assassination.

While imprisoned on Rura Penthe, Kirk and Bones discuss their aging relevancy to the universe while fending off the aggressive inmates, finding an ally in sultry shapeshifter Martia (Iman) and eventually learning that they’ve been set up by persons unknown to impede the peace talks. Meanwhile, Spock, Valeris, Chekov, and Scotty turn the Enterprise-A upside down in search of clues to the perpetrator’s identities, correctly assuming that a revolutionary new Bird-of-Prey (which can fire while cloaked) was responsible and that the assassins are onboard the Enterprise-A. While Commander Nyota Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) stalls the Federation and the Klingons static and Captain Hikaru Sulu (George Takei) of the Excelsior rushes to assist while also denying knowledge of the Enterprise-A’s location, the search initially turns fruitless when their assumed suspect is physically incapable of wearing the anti-gravity boots used in the assassination. Thanks to Spock’s foresight, Kirk’s wiles, and Martia’s assistance, Kirk and Bones are rescued but not before Martia turns on them, having been in on the scheme all along. Once aboard the Enterprise-A, with the offending spacesuits randomly recovered by Scotty, Kirk’s hunch about their assassin is proven when he and Spock lay a trap for the culprit. Spock is uncharacteristically enraged to learn that Valeris was one of the perpetrators, admonishing her betrayal and forcibly drawing the names of her co-conspirators from her with a mind meld. Kirk and Spock ruminate of their prejudices and bias together, in quiet solitude, realising that they were both blinded by these emotions. Kirk fully admits to being scared to face the “undiscovered country” of peace with the Klingons, while Spock admits to placing all his faith in his young protégé out of a need to continue their legacy. 

Racial tensions are explored as Kirk and Spock wrestle with their prejudices.

This discussion of bigotry is rife throughout The Undiscovered Country. The Klingons are seen as an aggressive, barbaric race who cannot be trusted, are uncivilised and war-like, and who must be always treated with contempt and hostility. To be fair, Kirk is right to suspect them after everything he’s been through, but the circumstances clearly depict the Klingons as desperate to ensure their survival. For Spock and Chancellor Gorgon, the historic chance for peace is worth setting aside the decades of bloodshed and hatred, especially as it would mean the Klingons’ survival, but the prospect of “tearing down the wall” is terrifying for the likes of Kirk and General Chang, who instigates the assassination to ensure that things stay “as they should”. The Klingons are equally distrustful of humans and amusingly shown to be poor guests, despite their appreciation for Shakespeare, but racial undertones are prevalent in their depiction, with Chekov even muttering “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” and Azetbur criticising the Federation for being an “all-humans” club. Kirk’s prejudices are naturally the most obvious and emotional, given a Klingon killed his son, and it leaves him standoffish with Chancellor Gorgon, who truly wanted peace, and easily setup by General Chang and Valeris. Ironically, Valeris conspires with the Klingons, whom she distrusts so much, to assassinate Chancellor Gorgon to show how untrustworthy the Klingons are. She has a similar mindset to Admiral Cartwright that inviting the Klingons into Federation space is foolish and believes the Federation is betraying their core principles by negotiating with the hostile species, something Spock chastises her for while grilling her as Valeris has also betrayed the Federation’s principles by sowing discord. Naturally, General Chang is all for this as he relishes combat, testing his mettle against a worthy opponent like Kirk and indulging his war lust.

Space battles take a backseat to a more grounded, introspective narrative focused on sabotage.

Unfortunately, we don’t get many space battles here as The Undiscovered Country is more focused on the tensions between the Enterprise-A crew and the Klingons, figured out who was behind the attack, and Kirk and Spock’s detour to Rura Penthe. There is a cool sequence where the crippled Bird-of-Prey’s gravity field is damaged, leaving Chancellor Gorgon and his crew floating helplessly as the assassins strike, and a decent battle pitting the Enterprise-A and the Excelsior against General Chang’s special Bird-of-Prey in the finale. However, as we’ve seen a few times before, the Federation ships strangely struggle to locate the cloaked ship. Luckily, Spock and Bones modify a torpedo to home in on the plasma emissions from the invisible craft, allowing Kirk and Sulu to attack and the filmmakers to once again recycle to same Bird-of-Prey explosion from previous films. Rura Penthe was an interesting location and scenario. I was surprised to see Bones imprisoned alongside Kirk as the movies generally team Kirk with Spock, so it was a nice change of pace to let the disgruntled doctor take some of the spotlight. Naturally, he laments their situation, especially at their age, meaning it’s up to the aged Kirk to fend off any physical challenges and have a brief fling with the alluring Martia to facilitate their escape. There are a couple of moments for the other main characters to shine as well, such as Chekov amusingly offering excuses to Starfleet and confronting their assumed culprit, Uhura struggling to pronounce Klingon, and Scotty aiding in finding the suits. Although largely separate from the plot, Sulu finally gets his own command and aids in his own way, but it was a bit of a shame to not have him aboard the Enterprise-A and to be denied his full kudos from the egotistical Shatner.

The old guard triumph once more and pave the way for their successors in this largely bland send-off.

Thanks to Spock tracing a tracker onto him before his trial, Kirk and Bones and rescued by the Enterprise-A and Spock angrily confronts Valeris, learning that she, General Chang, Admiral Cartwright, and Romulan ambassador Nanclus (Darryl Henriques) conspired to sabotage peace talks between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. Realising that the saboteurs plan to assassinate the Federation President and Chancellor Azetbur at the peace conference, the Enterprise-A races to intervene, with Kirk and his crew beaming down to save the president and Scotty offing would-be assassin Colonel West (René Auberjonois). Thanks to a full confession from Valeris, who remains somewhat conflicted due to her admiration and respect for Spock, all the remaining conspirators are arrested, clearing Kirk, Bones, and the Enterprise-A of all charges. Despite this, the legendary ship is still ordered to return to Starbase for decommissioning so, in one last act of defiance, Kirk orders the ship to take a final jaunt to the stars before a new generation continue their journey. Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of The Undiscovered Country, preferring the much maligned fifth entry over this one, mainly because it’s got so much posturing and is stuffed with ham-fisted allegories. I like that it tells a more personal and grounded story for the aged Enterprise-A crew, one that’s clearly an allegory for the Cold War and allows Kirk to revisit his hatred of the Klingons from the third movie. The performances are all really strong throughout, though I could’ve done without General Chang constantly quoting Shakespeare, but I’ve never felt it was a great swansong for the Original Series crew to literally sign out on. People aways say the even-numbered Star Trek movies are the best ones, but I always point to this movie as evidence that’s not true as it meanders a bit in the middle and I find the decision to give Spock a new protégé rather than revisit or recast Lieutenant Saavik hurts the movie. Her connection to David Marcus (Merritt Butrick), Kirk, Spock, and familiarity with the audience would’ve made for a much more impactful reveal, I think.

Final Thoughts:
So yeah, full disclosure: I’m not a big fan of this one. It was a bit better this time around than I remember, mainly because I haven’t watched it in a while and I guess I’ve got a whimsical nostalgia for these Original Series movies. I really enjoyed the exploration of Kirk’s hatred and prejudice against the Klingons; his outburst of “Let them die!” is one of his strongest moments and I liked seeing Kirk grapple with his emotions and sense of worth in a universe on the cusp of change. The narrative idea of the future being difficult for veterans like Kirk and General Chang is intriguing as all they’ve known is war with each other, so it’s natural there would be some tension and resentment. I liked seeing Bones take some of the spotlight for a change, how distraught he is at failing to save Chancellor Gorgon, and how out of his depth he is on Rura Penthe. Some of the moments with Chekov and Uhura were pretty amusing, and I guess the investigation into the assassination was interesting (even if Chang and Valeris are obvious candidates), though the racial undertones are a touch questionable. I think they’re definitely apt and perfectly valid, but I always saw the differences between Starfleet and the Klingons to be more ideological, with one valuing strength and power and the other harmony and knowledge. I would’ve liked to see this clash brought to life in a more thrilling way than just the Enterprise-A and the Excelsior dominating Chang’s Bird-of-Prey, but it’s nicely conveyed through the tense dialogue and the body language of all involved in the unprecedented peace talks. Ironically, though, for a movie so focused on finality, I’ve always found The Undiscovered Country lacking as a swansong for the Original Series crew. It would arguably be tough for any movie to do this justice, but I still think The Undiscovered Country is largely lacking in its execution and could’ve been a far better send-off for these characters.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you also a fan of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? Do you consider it a suitable send-off for the Original Series crew or do you also find it lacking? Did you guess who was behind the assassination? Were you intrigued by the racial and societal undertones of the film? Which Star Trek captain, crew, show, or movie is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating Star Trek Day today? No matter what you think, leave your thoughts down below, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Star Trek content.

Movie Night: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

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Released: 17 February 1989
Director: Stephen Herek
Distributor: Orion Pictures / De Laurentiis Entertainment Group

Budget: $10 million
Box Office: $40.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 83% / 75%

Quick Facts:
Born on this day in 1964, the beloved Keanu Reeves got his big break with this quirky time travel romp that began as a stand-up routine writers Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson performed in college and originally involved a time travelling van. Keanu’s rapport with co-star Alex Winter won them the largely interchangeable leads and they endured many equipment and prop failures. The film’s surprising success led to sequels, a cartoon and comic book, videogames, and action figures, though typecast Keanu for many years.

The Review:
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is a wacky time travel comedy starring two “surfer dude” metal heads with aspirations of becoming a “triumphant band” (with or without Eddie Van Halen). Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) and Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves) pour their hearts into their band, Wyld Stallyns, despite neither of them being able to play, though their lackadaisical attitudes see them in danger of flunking History (and high school) and their parents – particularly stern police captain John Logan (Hal Landon Jr.) – are largely dismissive or disapproving of their musical aspirations. Bill and Ted’s joyful, infectious optimism and enthusiasm get a heavy dose of reality when they’re warned that failing a History presentation will spell the end of the band as they’ll fail high school and Ted will be shipped off to an Alaskan military school. Though they largely have their heads in the clouds and are thinking only of music, babes, or their band, the duo desperately try to scrape together some rudimentary understanding of prominent historical figures like the philosopher Socrates and Joan of Arc and come up short, believing the latter to be “Noah’s wife” and imagining that Julius Ceaser is a “salad dressing, dude”. In fact, you couldn’t pick a more unlikely duo to become the saviours of humanity and yet, as told by cordial time traveller Rufus (George Carlin), Wyld Stallyns’ music is destined to bring about world peace and universal harmony, ushering in a golden age that sees 2688 become a utopia where everyone adopts the duo’s laidback attitude and simple, carefree statement: “Be excellent to each other. Party on, dude”. Their music also assumedly paves the way for the mastery of time travel, with Rufus being charged by the Three Most Important People in the World (Clarence Clemons, Fee Waybill, and Martha Davis) to travel 700 years into the past in a time travelling phone booth to help the duo and avert disaster to the timeline.

Two loveable goofs are swept up in a time travel adventure to ensure a utopian future for humankind (and beyond).

Your affinity for Bill and Ted will depend entirely on your tolerance for their buffoonery and surfer dude speech. While both are essentially the same character, Bill tends to be brighter and more emotional while Ted is more of a doofus, with the duo also separated by Ted’s fear of his strict father and Bill’s amusing lust for his father’s (J. Patrick McNamara) much-younger wife, Missy (Amy Stock-Poynton). Both are equally clueless about history, chirpy and friendly, and make friends easily, trusting Rufus when he comes to aid them based on the recommendation of their future selves and befriending even volatile historical figures like Henry McCarty/William H. Bonney/Billy the Kid (Dan Shor) and Temüjin/Genghis Khan (Al Leong) with their cheerful nature. Despite being unable to communicate with the likes of Socrates (Tony Steedman) and Ludwig van Beethoven (Clifford David), Bill and Ted win them over by ad-libbing lyrics to heavy metal songs and introducing them to then-modern technology like keyboard synthesisers. The duo are surprisingly adaptable and well aware of their limitations, begging off when caught in a barroom brawl and fixing the time travelling phone booth on the fly with junk and gum. Though playful and carefree, they also know when things have turned “heinous” and are well aware of how “non-triumphant” their situation is. Bill is distraught when it appears Ted has been killed in 15th century England and are stunned when Rufus reveals they’re short on time due to Ted forgetting to wind his watch, though they’re surprisingly non-plussed when faced with beheading. The duo also win the eye of princesses Joanna (Diane Franklin) and Elizabeth (Kimberley LaBelle) simply by being their lovably, goofy selves and prove surprisingly resourceful, brave, and to adapt to the confusing nature of time travel well. When Ted’s dad arrests their historical figures, the duo scheme to manipulate time to acquire his keys and set up traps once they’ve completed their History report, showing that they’re not as dim-witted as they appear.

Bill and Ted’s friendly nature sees them recruit various historical figures to assist with their big project.

Indeed, 700 years into the future, Wyld Stallyns are revered and worshipped by all as the saviours of mankind. They experience a taste of this when they accidentally dial in to 2688 and see how worshipped they are, which understandably blows their minds as they don’t see themselves as being universally important despite their lofty aspirations. Their ability to bring together cultures and worlds is echoed in their time travel jaunt, which starts with them accidentally bringing Napoleon Bonaparte (Terry Camilleri) to 1988 San Dimas, California and leaving him with Ted’s little brother, Deacon (Frazier Bain), while they collect other historical figures to speak about the then-modern world. Mistakenly believing that time is on their side, the duo go a bit overboard with this, bouncing around history and overfilling the phone booth with Sigmund Freud (Rod Loomis), Joan of Arc (Jane Wiedlin), and even President Abraham Lincoln (Robert V. Barron), all of whom are confused and amazed to be caught up in a time travel adventure. Billy the Kid notably adapts to the strangeness very quickly, helping to guard the phone booth and acclimatise the others, who soon follow suit. When brought to 1988, the time displaced figures are astonished by modern technology and society and cannot help but explore the mall and get into various scrapes. This adds some additional comedy and tension as Bill and Ted must manipulate time to rescue their newfound friends and we get to see Joan of Arc developing a love for aerobics, Genghis Khan outfit himself with hockey pads and sticks, and Napoleon experiencing the thrills of a water park despite his initial confusion and being ditched by Deacon. While Bill and Ted may not seem like the most capable and knowledgeable representatives of their time, they teach the historical figures a fair bit about 1988 and learn from them in return, making new friends from their shared adventure.

While history says the duo succeed, they still have to charm and think their way out of some scrapes.

Time travel is presented as a closed loop in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Everything that has or will ever happen has already happened, hence the phone booth having a comprehensive directory for every time period. Thus, when Ted’s dad searches for his keys, it’s because Ted was fated to steal them for his future self, which he was always destined to do as the duo were fated to ace their History presentation thanks to Rufus’ intervention. Therefore, Rufus’ mission to go back in time to help the two stay together isn’t really to preserve the utopian future, but more to meet the conditions of history. It’s all played very fun and simple, with Bill and Ted meeting their future selves and experiencing both sides of that conversation and plucking figures from the past without unravelling the timeline, yet there are still some stakes present. Most notably, despite having a time machine, the duo are still against the clock as the present is constantly happening no matter where they are. Ted forgetting to wind his watch places a further time crunch on the duo when they must rescue their historical figures and obviously they’re desperate to do this as they don’t want to be separated. It’s all pretty low stakes and played for laughs, but it’s still entertaining seeing the duo bungle their way across time and through the various hiccups they experience along the way. These are surprisingly dangerous: the two almost get pummelled in a bar fight when Billy cheats at poker and would’ve been beheaded if Billy and Socrates hadn’t rescued them at the last minute. Luckily, they patch together the phone booth and retrieve Napoleon without much difficulty, but Ted’s dad is a constant thorn in their sides, leading them to distract and delay him with fun time travel shenanigans.

Thanks to their time-displaced friends, Bill and Ted ace History and take their first step towards their destiny.

While music is a huge part of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, it’s not as prominent as you might think. The only music featured in the duo’s big presentation comes from the strangely not-deaf Beethoven and the subject is mainly relegated to references by the two (they’re initially excited about being put in the “Iron Maiden”) and the idea that their music will eventually change the universe. Much of the film’s comedy is based on the duo’s pratfalls and goofy nature, which may be grating to some, but I find endlessly charming. They’re always so upbeat and constantly playing air guitar and shouting “Excellent!” and that positive energy is infectious. It certainly wins over their historical figures and even Ted’s dad and their History teacher (Bernie Casey) begrudgingly give the guys their props for delivering an entertaining presentation. Obviously, I’m not American so I don’t know how common it is for high school students to perform their subject presentations in front of their school but Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure gives the duo the stage they long for to do just that (despite us never seeing them preparing for the presentation during their time travel jaunt). Bill and Ted bring out their historical figures and introduce them, giving their peers a rundown on their history and accomplishments and their opinions on 1988. Interestingly, Ted has spent enough time with Socrates by the end to translate for him, again speaking to their unexpected intelligence. Freud also gives Ted the chance to work through some of his issues with his dad, the duo question Napoleon’s tactics, and Bill demonstrates his surprising skill at sword fighting against Koan of Arc, all to the amazement of the students (who probably assumed it was all an elaborate performance). After a ringing endorsement from Lincoln, the duo successfully pass History, sparing Ted from military school, and realise that they’re going to have to work at their craft to meet their full potential. Luckily, Rufus returns with the princesses, new guitars, and another pep talk to renew their enthusiasm, reassuring the audience that the seemingly talentless duo “do get better”.

Final Thoughts:
As much as I enjoy Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, I’ve always been more of a fan of the sequel, if I’m honest. While this first film is fun enough, I always feel like it drags a little in the middle and lacks a certain x-factor to really hook my interest. Perhaps if Napoleon had posed some kind of threat they’d need to address, that might’ve helped as the film is noticeably lacking in stakes and an antagonist. Still, the clue’s in the title: this is supposed to be a fun time travel adventure, not some cataclysmic drama about the end of the world. Bill and Ted are ridiculously loveable characters with unexpectedly distinct personalities, great taste in music, and jovial demeanours that make them a joy to watch. I love how they’re so friendly to everyone and instantly befriend all the historical figures, whose bemusement at the strange situation is equally enjoyable. I would’ve liked to see more scenes of the two touring 1988 with their time displaced friends just to see what hijinks they could get up to, but the last-minute drama of having to rescue them from Ted’s dad was still fun. If you find Bill and Ted annoying, you’re probably going to hate this film, but you’d be missing out, honestly. It’s not a film I throw on all the time and I do think the sequel is superior, but it’s a lot of fun, with some daft comedy moments and an entertaining depiction of time travel and alluring premise of utopia blossoming from the unlikeliest of characters. There’s a heartfelt message here about being carefree, friendly, and being “excellent to each other” that hits harder as I grow older and more cynical and the world becomes more tumultuous, so I’d definitely say this one is worth your time if you fancy an enjoyable romp through time.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you enjoy Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure? Did you like the duo’s laid-back demeanours or did you find their surfer talk grating? Were you a fan of the depiction of time travel and the way they manipulated time to their advantage? Which of the historical figures was your favourite? Can you foresee a time when all of humanity is united in harmony? What’s your favourite Keanu Reeves movie? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and become a member on my Ko-Fi if you want me to cover more Bill & Ted content on the site.

Movie Night [K-DAY]: Reign of Fire

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In the absolutely bonkers Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity between 10 and 15 August 2013, making 10 August “K-DAY” and providing a fantastic excuse to talk about giant monsters!

Released: 12 July 2002
Director: Rob Bowman
Distributor: Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Budget: $60 million
Box Office: $82.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 41% / 49%

Quick Facts:
Originally written in 1996, filmed at the Glendasan Valley Lead Mines in Ireland, and threatened by a foot-and-mouth outbreak, Reign of Fire’s dragons posed an anatomical challenge for visual effects studio Secret Lab. Christian Bale also suffered a minor head injury when co-star Matthew McConaughey (who insisted on staying in-character) accidentally headbutted him for real. Though accompanied by a lacklustre videogame, a poor box office and mixed reviews meant this under-rated film never got a sequel.

The Review:
Reign of Fire presents what, on paper, sounds like an exciting premise: dragons (well, wyverns, more accurately…) suddenly appear after millions of years in hibernation and go all scorched earth on humanity! The film even gets off to a strong start when young Quinn Abercromby (Ben Thornton) witnesses the awakening of the male dragon (“The Bull”) while visiting his mother (Alice Krige) while she’s working as a construction supervisor in London. It was her team’s digging that woke the ancient beats, which scrambled to the surface, killing Quinn’s mother and kick-starting a one-sided conflict with millions of dragons. Somewhat unfortunately, the entirety of humanity’s battle against the dragons is reduced to a series of photographs, snippets, and newspaper articles collected by the elder Quinn (Christian Bale), who delivers some exposition about how scientists discovered all-too late that the dragons destroyed the dinosaurs and became myth. Somehow, the Bull spawns millions of smaller (but still gigantic and no less deadly) females that decimate mankind’s cities and defences, leaving Paris and other landmarks burning, their relentless hunger for ash only encouraged when Earth’s military unleash nuclear weapons against the hoard, further devastating the world and all-but driving humanity to the brink of extinction. After eighteen years of off-camera strife and hardship, Quinn has established a close-knit community of stragglers, survivors, and (crucially) children, whom he leads alongside his best friend, Creedy (Gerard Butler), putting everyone to work digging deeper, building basic sanitary and living quarters, and establishing crops in and around Bamburgh Castle in Northumberland. Believing the dragons are unbeatable, since hundreds rise when one falls and he’s witnessed the extent of their wrath, Quinn plans to outlast the increasingly volatile and starving remnants rather than fight back, fully intending on handing leadership over to Jared Wilke (Scott Moutter), a boy Quinn begrudgingly adopted during the time skip, once he’s old enough.

Quinn’s number one priority is keeping his people safe to outlast the dragons.

Quinn’s plan is solid and his community is fairly well maintained under his leadership. They had rudimentary electricity, plumbing, an early warning system consisting of a scout and morse code, and follow a strict, almost religious routine of indoctrinating the children to “keep one eye on the sky” and flee for shelter rather than fight the dragons. Quinn and Creedy entertain the youngsters, who idolise them, with nightly reenactments of popular movies (which Quinn amusingly claims to have written) and don’t stand for any slacking, needing everyone to pitch in to the daily grind. For Eddie Stax (David Kennedy), this has become unbearable. After losing his wife and two kids on the road, and fearing starvation for his remaining brood, he regularly challenges Quinn’s authority, eager to ransack their harvest to feed his kids despite the danger that could attract and the long-term ramifications of picking the crops too early. Though Quinn talks him down, Eddie steals the keys to the castle jeep and takes his kids harvesting, attracting a dragon and losing two children, and leading to half the crop being destroyed before Quinn, Creedy, and Jared rescue them in fireproof outfits and using water hoses. While Quinn is sympathetic towards Eddie’s losses, he’s shaken by the man’s foolishness and almost loses hope for their situation but, as ever, Creedy gets him back on track and he redoubles his efforts to feed and care for his people. The friendship between Quinn and Creedy is a highlight, as is Quinn’s desperate desire to shelter the children. Clearly traumatised by his mother’s death and the flaming end of humanity, Quinn believes it’s foolish to fight or antagonise the dragons, especially as he’s seen the Bull backtrack to outposts and obliterate them. While I would’ve loved to see a more action-packed film focusing on the doomed campaign against the dragons and humanity’s downfall, focusing on Quinn, a desperate man trying to protect his community, makes the film much more relatable and intense, especially during Quinn’s emotional outbursts.

Van Zan’s crazed intensity clashes with Quinn and leads to a conflict of ideologies and masculinity.

Quinn’s relative peace is further disrupted by the second most dangerous and despicable creature on the planet: Americans. Soldiers, led by the physically imposing and unnervingly intense Denton Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey), roll into Bamburgh Castle looking to replenish their supplies and immediately clash with Quinn, who suspects them of being marauders. Though sceptical, Quinn’s won over by Van Zan’s talk of slaying dragons alongside Alex Jensen (Izabella Scorupco), a helicopter pilot who co-ordinates a death-defying team who sky dive to ensnare and kill dragons. Van Zan immediately captivates Quinn’s community, especially Eddie and Jared, with his enigmatic stature and persona. This is only exacerbated when Alex and her team successfully take down a passing dragon, only for Van Zan to chastise the celebrating community since the operation cost him two men. When confronted by Quinn, Van Zan immediately asserts his authority and recruits his people for an assault on the Bull in London. Thanks to Alex, the Americans have discovered that all dragons but the Bull are female and that the male flies over and fertilises thousands of eggs at a time. Therefore, Van Zan believes humanity’s only hope is to kill the Bull and therefore render the dragons extinct, a plan Quinn violently opposes since no one’s returned from London alive in years and the Bull is known to enact revenge. Despite his best efforts, Quinn is no match for the physically imposing and clearly insane Van Zan, who beats Quinn before his people and takes some of them for his plan. While Jared decides to bow out at the last minute, Eddie and the others aren’t so lucky, and Van Zan is left distraught when the Bull wipes his team out in a single pass. With only Alex left, he returns to the ransacked Bamburgh Castle in shame, deferring to Quinn’s authority and convincing Quinn to join them in bringing down the Bull. I’m no fan of Matthew McConaughey but he is excellent and almost unrecognisable in this role, depicted as a burly, surly, intimidating dragon slayer who wields an axe and has personal experience fighting dragons. Though he clearly has a death wish and a suicidal obsession with bringing the Bull down, Van Zan is framed as an honourable and formidable fighter, even if many of his methods and his gruff demeanour are questionable.

The ferocious and impressive dragons have all-but eradicated mankind.

Thanks to appearing sparingly, the dragons are pretty impressive when they appear, depicted as gigantic, winged terrors who swoop in and ignite people and the land with their saliva and feed on the ash left behind. Fast and massive, the dragons quickly dominate the skies and easily shrug off small-arms fire and, apparently, heavier ordinance. According to Van Zan, the dragons have excellent vision at all times except during “magic hour”, when the Sun is setting, though this doesn’t really factor into fighting them in a meaningful way. Van Zan prefers to risk his soldier’s lives by setting up three triangulation devices and having Alex air-drop men from a helicopter with a bola net to ensnare the beasts, a tactic that gives these “Archangels” a seventeen second life expectancy, but which has led to many dragon deaths. It’s not clear how there were any eggs for the Bull to fertilise when he first emerged, but it’s possible the previous generation laid eggs that went dormant over the years. Apparently, these eggs numbered in the millions as dragons quickly overwhelm humanity and appear endless, hinting towards an accelerated growth cycle or perhaps other dragons being in hibernation. Unfortunately for the dragons, they are far too efficient for their own good and, after eradicating most of humanity, turn to cannibalism to survive, their numbers severely dwindling, suggesting they have an overall short lifespan as they seem engineered only to wipe out populaces and then hibernate (a fact Quinn is counting on). While I can just about understand the biology and mechanics of the dragons, however, I still struggle to explain the Americans. Somehow, the Americans travelled across the Atlantic Ocean, travelled from God-knows where to Bamburgh Castle, then went from the castle to London (a 350-ish mile trip) and back again and the made the trip again all without encountering any significant dragon resistance and somehow finding enough supplies, fuel, and helicopter fuel up and down the fire-ravaged English countryside? Even worse, the trip from Bamburgh Castle to London seemingly takes no time at all, rather than the near six hours it would realistically take.

Quinn and Van Zan ultimately set aside their quarrel to bring down the alpha dragon.

Full of piss and vinegar, Van Zan openly defies Quinn and first asks for and then forcibly recruits volunteers for his London campaign. Despite his hands-on experience with dragons, Van Zan is completely unprepared for the Bull, which decimates his team and then attacks Bamburgh Castle, killing Creedy and many others. When Alex and Van Zan return, humbled and desperate, Quinn leaves Jared in charge and agrees to help the Americans using his knowledge of the city (despite it being in ruins). Although they’re outnumbered hundreds to three, the trio’s luck somewhat improves when the Bull feeds upon its smaller brethren to survive. While Van Zan defers to Quinn’s leadership, he outlines the general plan for the three to split up and bait the Bull then fire an explosive arrow down its throat right as it prepares to breathe fire. This gives Van Zan the opportunity to realise his suicidal dream of confronting the Bull head-on as he scales a tower and takes a shot, only for the Bull to detonate the arrow in mid-air. Thus, to buy Alex and Quinn time, Zan Van makes a desperate a dramatic lead towards the Bull and is snatched out of the air and eaten, allowing Alex and Quinn to regroup. Thanks to Alex providing cover fire, Quinn recovers his dropped explosive and takes the shot, ending the Bull in one swift move without even utilising the blinding sunset. In the aftermath, Quinn and Alex return to Bamburgh Castle and continue to sow crops, with Quinn handing leadership over to Jared as talks of additional survivors coming in from across the globe. Having taken up Van Zan’s axe and developed a more optimistic outlook, Quinn focuses on building and sowing crops and preparing to tackle any remaining dragons should they show up, with the film ending on the uplifting hope that humanity can recover from the devastation they’ve suffered.

Final Thoughts:
I’ve always been a fan of this one, though even I must admit that Reign of Fire drags a bit in the middle and isn’t all it could be. On the one hand, the dragons look great. They’re very serpentine and ferocious and it’s clear a lot of work went into making them biologically possible. I also really like how grounded and gritty the story is, with Reign of Fire focusing on survival, desperation, obsession, and human nature rather than big, bombastic action. Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey deliver some of their best work here, being natural opposites who are constantly on the brink of tearing each other apart and yet finding common ground against a mutual enemy. Part of me is disappointed that all the best parts of the dragon uprising are reduced to that opening montage; this is a film that really needed a prequel to show humanity’s war with and decimation by the dragons. I also cannot get over how the Americans managed to drive and fly around England without any issue, especially in this world, and occasionally wonder if the finale isn’t a little anti-climactic. Yet, I like the visual of the Bull being brought down by a smaller projectile; it’s very thematically powerful. While this isn’t a film I watch all that often, I do believe Reign of Fire is unfairly forgotten and dismissed and deserves a bit more time in the spotlight. It’s certainly one of the best dragon-orientated movies out there and also works as a decent post-apocalypse story, despite some questionable flaws and plot holes.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Reign of Fire? Were you also disappointed that we didn’t get to see how the dragons decimated humanity or did you prefer the more grounded story? Do you agree that was better to outlast the dragons or would you have joined Van Zan’s crusade? Can you explain how the Americans had enough fuel to travel up and down England? Would you have liked to see a sequel or prequel? What’s your favourite kaiju movie, and how are you celebrating K-Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Reign of Fire, kaiju, or monster movies in general, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more giant monster content!