Talking Movies [Superman Month]: Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’m spending every Monday of June celebrating the Man of Steel as I expand Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


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Released: 28 November 2006
Originally Released: 9 April 1981
Director: Richard Donner
Distributor:
Warner Bros.
Budget:
$54 million
Stars:
Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas, Jack O’Halloran, and Gene Hackman

The Plot:
Having thwarted Lex Luthor’s (Hackman) maniacal plans, Clark Kent/Superman (Reeve) faces a new challenge when intrepid reporter Lois Lane (Kidder) deduces his secret identity. While Clark prepares to give up his incredible powers to be with Lois, General Zod (Stamp) and his cohorts escape from the Phantom Zone and terrorise the planet, forcing Clark to choose between his happiness and his responsibilities to mankind.

The Background:
As detailed previously, producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind and Pierre Spengler convinced Warner Bros. to produce a two-part Superman adaptation back in the late seventies. However, the production of Superman (Donner, 1978) was fraught with financial and creative issues; director Richard Donner frequently clashed with the producers and Richard Lester was brought in as a mediator to allow the filmmakers to focus on the first film, which was a financial and critical success. Despite having shot 75% of the sequel, Donner was ultimately replaced by Richard Lester, a decision that irked star Gene Hackman so much that he refused to return for the necessary reshoots; Lester shot an entirely new opening for Superman II in addition to making numerous changes to emphasise slapstick silliness. Star Christopher Reeve returned after negotiating a better deal for himself but Marlon Brando was excised completely due to his unrealistic financial demands. Despite all the behind the scenes turmoil, Superman II was a critical and commercial success but fans campaigned for years to see Donner’s original vision restored. Donner was understandably reluctant to return to the film but came onboard after Warner Bros’ reached a deal with Brando’s estate as part of the production for Superman Returns (Singer, 2008). Working from the original negatives, Donner oversaw the assembly of a version that best represented his original vision for the film, and even incorporated screen test footage for additional scenes to fundamentally alter the tone and context of the theatrical cut. Following a limited theatrical release, Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut released on home media and was received far better than its theatrical counterpart; the film was praised as a love-letter to the fans and a superior version of the film, while some found the re-cut jarring and little more than a curio.

The Review:
As a kid, Superman II was easily my favourite of the original four Superman movies; it was far more of a spectacle than its slower, more deliberate predecessor and hadn’t yet devolved into outright buffoonery or ridiculousness like its successors. However, I don’t recall having any knowledge that so much material had been cut from the film until around about the time that Superman Returns released; suddenly, some of the odd decisions in Superman II made a bit more sense, though I was actually fine with the first film’s focus being on Jor-El (Marlon Brando) and the second one having more emphasis on Lara (Susannah York) and, as we’ve seen countless times, Superman exhibited loads of bizarre additional superpowers back in the Golden and Silver Age so why not a memory wiping kiss? Still, my philosophy is generally that a great film can only be made better by an extended or director’s cut (usually…) so I was eager to see what the original version of Superman II would turn out like. After a disclaimer alerting viewers that the film contains test footage, and a touching dedication to Christopher Reeve, The Richard Donner Cut opens very similarly to the theatrical cut; however, the scene of General Zod, Ursa (Douglas), and Non (O’Halloran) breaking into one of the Kryptonian council’s crystal chambers and destroying one of their crystals has been excised and we’re instead treated to a reused scene from Superman that re-establishes that Jor-El acted as the trio’s chief prosecutor. Because of this, Zod holds Jor-El directly responsible for their imprisonment in the Phantom Zone and swears that the Kryptonian scientist, and his heirs, will bow down before him.

Lois is so sure that Clark is Superman that she puts her, and his, life at risk to force him to reveal the truth.

After Superman diverted Luthor’s missiles and put an end to his maniacal plot to set off the San Andreas Fault, daring reporter Lois Lane receives the front-page exclusive on the story and is praised by her boss, Perry White (Jackie Cooper). When budding Daily Planet photographer Jimmy Olsen (Marc McClure) offhandedly points out that Clark Kent and Superman are never around at the same time, the gears start turning in Lois’s head and, after crudely drawing a pair of spectacles and a hat on a picture of Superman, she begins to suspect that her timid co-worker isn’t all that he seems. Similar to the theatrical cut, Lois is so sure that she’s figured out Superman’s true identity that she literally puts her life on the line; however, rather than leaping into Niagara Falls, she takes the much more sensible option of leaping out the window of a high-rise office building to force Clark into action, though he’s again able to subtlety use his powers to slow and cushion her fall, thus throwing her off the scent. Interestingly, in this version of the film, it’s made much more explicit that Clark is trying to romance Lois; I honestly never really got the impression that he was actively pursuing her in the original film or its sequel, but here he gives an impassioned, stammering plea that she stop comparing him to Superman and accept him for who he really is, but she’s so adamant that her theory is correct that she fires a gun at Clark to force him to reveal his true self to her. Just like in the Richard Lester version, Superman wastes no time in spiriting Lois off to the Fortress of Solitude so that they can have some privacy; this time, though, they consummate their relationship before Clark decides to give up his powers. Much to the despair of his father’s holographic spirit, Clark chooses his love for Lois over his duties to humankind, and the new footage of Brando really emphasises that Clark’s calling is to serve a higher purpose, one far beyond any one person, even himself. Jor-El even goes so far as to call Clark selfish, and shoot a glaring condemnation at Lois as Clark bathes in the red sunlight that renders him human, and vulnerable. The context of this narrative element remains largely the same, and just as confusing; for me, it always seemed to exist simply as a dramatic device to add additional grief to Clark, and was mostly lost on me since Clark and Lois were a married couple in DC Comics in the mid-nineties when I was watching the theatrical cut so it never made much sense to me that Clark would have to pick one life or the other.

Backed by his loyal followers, General Zod is hungry to rule, and avenge himself on Jor-El and his progeny.

Like before, Clark almost immediately comes to regret this decision not just when he has the crap kicked out of him by abrasive trucker Rocky (Pepper Martin) but when Zod calls out Superman on live television from the White House, forcing the depowered Kryptonian to make the dangerous trek back to the Fortress of Solitude and humbly beg his father for forgiveness. Having been condemned to a lifetime of imprisonment in the Phantom Zone, Zod has sworn vengeance against Jor-El and his bloodline; a megalomaniacal despot who feels it’s his birthright to rule over others, Zod stewed in the Phantom Zone, alongside his followers, for the better part of thirty years, his anger and lust for power and revenge only growing more potent as they drifted the endless void of space. Luckily for them, the Phantom Zone spirals towards Earth and the three are freed from an explosion caused by one of Luthor’s missiles, which Superman diverted to save countless lives on Earth. Upon release, the three are immediately bestowed with the same powers as Superman since, in this original film continuity, Kryptonians require no time at all to gain the superhuman befits of Earth’s yellow sun. The three explore their powers, maliciously killing three astronauts without a second’s thought, with Zod’s followers unquestionably following his enigmatic leadership and every command; Ursa remains fixated by patches, badges, and symbols and a loyal advocate of her General, while Non is still little more than a childish brute easily distracted by flashing lights. Just as Zod quickly tires of the ease with which he destroys a small town in Houston, Texas, the renegade Kryptonian grows equally bored after assuming control of the United States, and the entire world, following his attack on the White House; he is reinvigorated, however, when Lex Luthor tells him that Kal-El, the son of his hated jailer, is on Earth and finds new motivation in breaking his hated enemy’s progeny to prove, once and for all, his physical and mental superiority of his long-dead foe.

Luthor schemes to avenge himself on Superman by manipulating the Kryptonian villains.

As in the theatrical cut, Lex Luthor (finally sporting his signature bald head) is locked up in a common prison with his bungling henchman, Otis (Ned Beatty), who indirectly assists Luthor in realising that Superman has a secret up north. Despite the fact that Luthor’s previous plot threatened to kill her beloved mother, Eve Teschmacher (Valerie Perrine) returns to assist Luthor’s escape from prison with a hot-air balloon (though Otis is left behind in the attempt), and the two again discover the Fortress of Solitude amidst the frozen wastes. There, the irritable and self-conceited criminal mastermind communicates with a holographic representation of Jor-El and learns about the three Kryptonian criminals and is immediately giddy at the prospect of adding their might and lust for chaos to his own devious ends. Although Zod and the others are already master of all they survey, Luthor is able to win them over with his knowledge of Jor-El and the revelation that the mysterious “Superman” who they’ve heard of is actually their foe’s son, and the criminal mastermind is quickly able to earn their trust in return for sovereignty over Australia (and, later, Cuba). Luthor is so consumed with avenging his loss to Superman in the first film that he manipulates the Kryptonians into attacking the Daily Planet and threatening Lois in order to draw Superman out, but quickly comes to realise that the three are far too dangerous and violent to be properly trusted, much less controlled. Superman is, of course, able to exploit Luthor’s deceptive nature to get the better of his superpowered foes and, in this version of the film, makes the odd decision to destroy the Fortress of Solitude to keep Luthor from invading his privacy again…despite the fact that he turns back time and thus undoes this act.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Although John Williams was unable to return to work on this new cut, Donner reused much of his work on Superman to largely replace Ken Thorne’s original score. Some characters also lose their original dubbing (notably Luthor, since Hackman’s original lines and scenes have been restored, and Non, who’s childish squeals are replaced by more monstrous roars). It’s interesting to learn that Richard Donner wasn’t responsible for so many of the scenes that I consider to be integral to the narrative of Superman II. Without actually witnessing a sample of what made three antagonists so reprehensible on their native Krypton, we’re left simply with Jor-El’s vague descriptions of their heinous ways and acts. Simplicity such as this is rife in The Richard Donner Cut, which shows that the three saw Krypton’s destruction from their prison and even spotted the infant Kal-El’s birthing chamber as they spiralled throughout the galaxy; furthermore, the entirely new opening sequence of Lois’s escapades in Paris is completely replaced with footage from Superman’s efforts to stop Luthor’s missiles intercut with scenes of the three tumbling towards Earth. Similar to the theatrical cut, this makes Superman the unwitting saviour of the criminals but directly ties their accidental escape from the Phantom Zone into the events of the first film, thus indirectly making Luthor responsible for their freedom as well.

Jor-El disapproves of Clark’s decision, and then sacrifices himself to re-power his son to full strength.

Conspicuous in their inclusion is the use of test footage of Reeves and Kidder for scenes in Niagara Falls where Lois tries to help Clark be more assertive and self-confident and then shoots at Clark to prove he’s Superman! While the revelation that she was firing blanks makes this a little less disturbing, and it’s a little jarring that Reeves’ hair and glasses change throughout, it’s a much more effective way to force his dramatic unmasking than him simply tripping on a bear-skin rug. Naturally, it’s Brando who’s the most notable reinsertion into the film. Oddly, Brando’s restored footage is rendered in wildly inconsistent ways, appearing both translucent and in an odd, distorted, holographic effect, and his presence completely removes Lara from the film’s narrative to continue the father/son themes and relationship from the first film. While I liked that Superman II gave Lara the chance to be there for her son, here it’s Jor-El who Clark again turns to regarding his love for Lois and the conflict he faces between choosing her or his responsibilities to the world. Jor-El pleads (with about as much enthusiasm as Brando can muster, which is to say not much at all) with Clark to reconsider giving up his destiny, and grieves at having to forever disappear in order to restore Clark’s powers. Although Clark is obviously devastated at having let down his father, and the thought of losing his last remaining link to a family and people he never knew, Jor-El’s sacrifice allows Superman to return to the service of truth, justice, and the American Way and this sequence also gives us the only physical onscreen interaction between Reeves and Brando, fulfilling the Kryptonian prophecy that “The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son”. Although General Zod still displays the odd ability to levitate objects, many of the bizarre superpowers showcased by the Kryptonians are thankfully missing from this version of the film, meaning we don’t have to suffer through Superman’s weird plastic S-shield attack he did in the theatrical cut or the characters randomly duplicating and teleporting throughout the Fortress of Solitude. On the downside, this means we miss out on the scene of the three rapidly defacing Mount Rushmore, which is replaced by a brief shot of them destroying the Washington Monument, but the trio’s assault on the White House is far more violent and brutal, and even includes an amusing scene where Zod gleefully fires an assault rifle.

The ending is wildly different, with Superman again reversing time to undo Zod’s destruction.

Following their attack on the Daily Planet (which is far less impactful without Thorne’s score, and even replaces the iconic “General, would you care to step outside?” line), Superman again battles his three foes in the skies and streets of Metropolis. You’ll notice a few additional shots here, which are sadly let down by the fact that this project clearly didn’t have much of a budget as the shot composition is even more obviously dodgy than it was in the original film, which was already extremely ambitious in its superpowered brawl. All of the slapstick nonsense is missing from this scene, replaced with a foreboding menace as Superman matches his foes blow for blow until he’s forced to flee to the Fortress of Solitude to keep the three from causing further damage and harm to the city and its inhabitants. Rather than engaging in a battle of strength and skill in the Fortress, Superman uses his wits to outsmart the maniacal Zod; Zod demands that Superman submits to him, becoming his slave for eternity, in exchange for the lives of others and, thanks to Luthor’s deceitful nature, Superman is again able to turn Luthor’s edict of “mind over muscle” against his enemies to render them powerless using the Fortress’s red sunlight. Superman and Lois dispose of the three using lethal means, but the moral quandary of these actions is arguably rendered mute when Superman once again reverses the rotation of the planet to turn back time. This returns Luthor to prison, and the three Kryptonians to the Phantom Zone, but also undoes the relationship he forged with Lois over the course of the film; ultimately, the result is the same, that Superman couldn’t bring himself to put Lois through the pain of knowing the truth and chose to continue living a lie. As I understand it, the original idea was to have the time travel element only in this film, which really makes you wonder how Superman would have undone Lois’s death in the last film, but either way it’s just as much of a cheap trick as the memory-wiping kiss and kind of shows Superman to be a bit of a hypocrite as he takes these extreme actions but doesn’t really learn anything from it as he goes right back to awkwardly flirting with Lois as the bungling Clark Kent (and even pays Rocky back for the beating he gave him earlier, despite the fact that this didn’t actually happen).

The Summary:
I think the main question anyone wants to know about Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut is: is it better than the theatrical version? And, I guess, it technically is; the removal of the more slapstick scenes and continuing the themes from the first movie makes it more cohesive and helps it to act as a more fitting follow-up, but I can’t honestly say that it really trumps the original in a fundamental way. This isn’t an extended version of the film, but rather an alternative cut, one that is the closest we’ll ever get to what Donner originally intended and, had we seen this (or something very much like it), we probably would have had a better overall experience that felt likes two parts of a greater whole but I really can’t say that there’s any scenes or inclusions here that make the film objectively better. A lot of this is due to my nostalgia for the original, which I’m very fond of, and my bias against Brando and his abrasive, difficult attitude which impacted his performance as Jor-El and tainted my perception of him. It’s definitely very poignant to see Jor-El reinserted into the film, and his inclusion offers a little more explanation about how Superman regains his powers, but I liked seeing Lara comfort her son in the sequel and was happy with the implication that the green crystal simply restored Superman offscreen. I’m glad that some of the weirder elements are gone, but there isn’t too much in their place to make up for their removal. I enjoy the extra scenes involving Zod and his crew, but the ending is just as head-scratching as in the theatrical cut (seriously, why destroy the Fortress if you’re going to turn back time?!), so, for me, you can just kind of flip a coin and watch either version and pretty much get the same story, just with a few different scenes and contexts between the two.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What are your thoughts on Richard Donner’s version of Superman II? Did you feel like it’s superior to the theatrical cut or were you put off by the newly inserted scenes? What did you think to the alterations made by re-inserting Marlon Brando’s lost footage? Were you a fan of the altered ending? What is your favourite Superman story, character, or piece of media? How are you planning to celebrate Superman Day this month? Whatever you think, feel free to sign up to share your opinion below or leave a comment on my social media.

Talking Movies [Robin Month]: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies


In April of 1940, about a year after the debut of arguably their most popular character, Bruce Wayne/Batman, DC Comics debuted “the sensational find of [that year]”, Dick Grayson/Robin. Since then, Batman’s pixie-boots-wearing partner has changed outfits and a number of different characters have assumed the mantle as the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin have become an iconic staple of DC Comics. Considering my fondness for the character and those who assumed the mantle over the years, what better way to celebrate this dynamic debut than to dedicate every Thursday of April to celebrating the character?


Released: 27 July 2018
Director: Peter Rida Michail and Aaron Horvath
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget: $10 million
Stars: Scott Menville, Hynden Walch, Khary Payton, Tara Strong, Greg Cipes, Will Arnett, Kristen Bell, and Nicolas Cage

The Plot:
Determined to be a Hollywood star, Dick Grayson/Robin (Menville) will go to any lengths to impress director Jade Wilson (Bell) to notice him and his team! With a few madcap ideas and musical numbers, the Teen Titans try to take the limelight, but when Slade Wilson/Deathstroke the Terminator (Arnett) messes with their plans, the Teen Titans will have to become true superheroes to save the world!

The Background:
About four years after the debut of the Justice League of America (JLA), their teen sidekicks came together to form the Teen Titans, presumably to appeal to younger readers. The team were a relatively consistent presence throughout the 1960s and 1970s but writer Marv Wolfman and George Pérez breathed new life into the concept with characters like Victor Stone/Cyborg and Princess Koriand’r/Starfire, who became synonymous with the team. No strangers to adaptation, the Teen Titans have seen some success in animated ventures; Teen Titans (2003 to 2006) was widely regarded as a popular spin-off of the incredibly well-regarded animated series pioneered by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini. Many long-term fans were therefore put off when the show was retooled into a more kid-friendly aesthetic with the slapstick Teen Titans Go! (2013 to 2022), though many praised the show for its bizarre nature and light-hearted humour. Additionally, the show was popular enough to spawn this feature-length production; universally praised for its metatextual comedy, its gleeful destruction of superhero tropes, and its unhinged comedy, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies also gave finally star Nicolas Cage the chance to portray Clark Kent/Superman after missing out on a live-action appearance in the nineties. With a box office gross of $52.1 million, the film was followed by a reasonably well received straight-to-DVD crossover between the Go! Titans and their more serious predecessors, as well as a couple of other similar features of varying quality.

The Review:
So, like a lot of kids my age, I watched a fair amount of Bruce Timm and Paul Dini’s DC cartoons back in the day; even into my late teenage years, I was enjoying Justice League Unlimited (2004 to 2006), and I really enjoyed the original Teen Titans cartoon. Although never explicitly stated to be a part of the same fictional universe, I always liked to think that Teen Titans was a spin-off from the main DC Animated Universe and I loved how it gave a bit of a gritty edge and a commanding presence to one of my favourite characters, Robin, and allowed him to be in the spotlight in a world where he’s often given the shaft in live-action movies. I’d be lying if seeing Teen Titans Go! for the first time wasn’t a little off-putting for me in this regard; however, it was clearly aimed at a younger audience and I found it to be quite funny the few times I did watch it, the same as Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008 to 2011), which showcased a more light-hearted version of the Dark Knight but in a fun and action-packed way. There is room for both interpretations of these characters, as much as I prefer the darker interpretations as they’re truer to the original spirit of Batman and his world, and it’s not as if there weren’t other animated ventures that showcased this side of the likes of Batman and Robin, so it was still pretty exciting when a feature-length presentation was announced, especially as it aimed to poke fun at Warner Bros.’ tumultuous history with cashing in on their DC Comics franchises.

The happy-go-lucky Titans are distraught to learn the public and their peers see them as bumbling fools.

Things get off to a loud and action-packed start as Jump City is attacked by the megalomaniacal supervillain known as Balloon Man (Greg Davies), a ludicrous character who is quite literally a gigantic, anthropomorphic balloon who can easily smash his way into a bank and squeeze through small gaps by expanding and contracting his bulbous body. Although Jump City’s police are no match for the inflated villain, the Teen Titans soon arrive to help out; what follows is a fight scene, set to an electric guitar remix of the Teen Titans Go! main theme, that helps to establish the characters and abilities of the titular team for those who are unfamiliar. Robin is the leader, jumping head-first into the fight and partially tearing Balloon Man’s hide with his shuriken; Cyborg (Payton) is the enthusiastic muscle, able to transform his body into all kinds of heavy ordinance; Starfire (Walch) is a naïve, childlike misfit from another world who wields incredible cosmic power but is easily distracted by cute things; Rachel Roth/Raven (Strong) is the dark, stoic enchantress capable of manipulating others and creating constructs out of a black magical energy; and Garfield “Gar” Logan/Beast Boy (Cipes) is the team’s goofball shape-shifter, who delights in monkeying around and transforming into a range of green-hued animals (including becoming a porcupine to pierce Balloon Man’s butt for an extended fart gag). So consumed by their own hype are the team that they completely miss that the Justice League – Superman (Cage), Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Halsey), and Jon Stewart/Green Lantern (Lil Yachty) – take out Balloon Man and are saddened to learn that both the public, and the superhero community, see them as a team of goofballs rather than “real” superheroes worthy of their own movies. Despite the fact that people “don’t talk” about Green Lantern’s movie, Superman advises the team that they’ll never be seen as anything other than a joke unless they shape up and start acting like real heroes rather than goofing off for food and dance numbers. Despite the evidence lobbied against them, Robin is adamant that he and his friends are not only world-renowned heroes but worthy of their own movie; it’s been his lifelong dream to have his own movie franchise, after all, and he’s determined to prove that he’s worthy of this accolade.

Robin’s so determined to get his own movie that he briefly messes up with the timeline.

Unfortunately, he and his friends are aghast to learn that they’re not on the list to attend the premiere of Batman’s (Jimmy Kimmel) newest film, and even more insulted when the Challengers of the Unknown, of all people, are more known than they are. Thanks to Raven’s ability to teleport them using her extradimensional portals, the team are able to gate crash the screening and steal the Challengers’ seats, introducing them to beloved superhero movie director Jade Wilson. Robin is dejected to see first-hand that he’s not only not slated to appear in a movie, but that the entire superhero community laughs him off as simply a sidekick and a nobody. After dispelling Robin’s depression with a musical number, the team head to Warner Bros. Studios in Hollywood, determined to demand that they get their own movie from Jade. Unfortunately, she’s not interested in the prospect of a solo Robin movie and states that she would only consider it if there were no other superheroes in the world, a dismissive comment that gives him the outrageous idea to travel through time to prevent the world’s superheroes from ever coming into being using their time cycles (because their regular time machine is too “boring”). Thus, the team prevents Krypton’s destruction (using disco-synth, no less), stealing Wonder Woman’s magical lasso when she’s just a girl, cause Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Eric Bauza) to get caught up in trash and drown as a baby, prevent four turtles from coming into contact with radioactive ooze, and redirect Thomas, Martha, and young Bruce Wayne (Kal-El Cage) from going down Crime Alley. As you might expect, this results in the world being overrun by supervillains in the present day and therefore no superhero movies being produced, so the Teen Titans immediately travel back to undo their efforts…resulting in them being directly responsible for Krypton’s destruction and gleefully pushing Thomas and Martha Wayne to their deaths with a smile and a thumbs-up!

Slade’s master plan to control the world brings him into conflict with the Teen Titans.

Since rewriting the space/time continuum did nothing to improve their standing in the superhero community, the Teen Titans resolve to prove themselves the old-fashioned way. Earlier, the others suggested to Robin that they’re not taken seriously because they lack a cool archnemesis with an ominous name and they attempt to address this by confronting Deathstroke (as ever referred to simply as “Slade”) as he steals “the perfect plot device”, the Ditronium Crystal, from Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (S.T.A.R. Labs). A bombastic villain who mocks the Teen Titans pose and easily tricks them with simple illusions and distractions, Slade is nonetheless fully capable of holding the team off using only his skill, weapons, and vast array of gadgets. Still, by taking themselves seriously, the team is able to retrieve the crystal on their second encounter, but Slade easily escapes by preying on Robin’s ego and painting himself as his archnemesis. Incensed at their interference, Slade vows to divide the team to take away their greatest advantage, something made considerably easier when jade summons the team to Warner Bros. Studios, impressed by their fight, to start shooting their movie. However, when the others embarrass him by repeatedly pooping in a prop toilet, attacking their co-star and subduing Superman with Kryptonite, causing havoc, and almost destroying her Digitally Ordering Online Movies Streaming Directly At You (D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y.) Device (Phil Morris), Robin angrily ditches his friends in order to have his own solo movie and shake the stigma of their idiocy from his character. Heartbroken at his decision, especially after they supported his dream all throughout the movie, the team leave him to indulge his greatest fantasies on the set of his very own movie, finally bringing him the adulation he has craved for so long, though all the digital enhancements and action sequences in the world can’t make up for the loss of his friends.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I gather there are a lot of people who dislike the art and animation style of shows like Teen Titans Go!; many comparisons are made to the likes of Steven Universe (2013 to 2019), though I’m not sure why that’s a bad thing as, while I’ve never watched it, I always thought the show was quite popular. Again, it’s potentially because of the nostalgia and love for Timm and Dini’s traditionally dark and moody visual style, and the anime influences seen in the original Teen Titans, but I thought the change in visual direction was a great way to immediately show that Teen Titans Go! is aimed at a completely different audience to its predecessor, and enjoyed the presentation because it, like some of the line-towing humour, reminded me of The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991 to 1996; 2003). Jump City is a bright maze of skyscrapers and beaches, its inhabitants all sport comically oversized heads and cartoonish proportions, and much of the allure of the movie’s visual style comes from the short, sharp movements characters make that remind me of traditional animation techniques such those using construction paper. The movie’s tongue-in-cheek approach is also evident right from the start, as DC’s heroes are chibi-fied in the opening credits to fit with the show’s more exaggerated art style; the movie even appears to ape the traditional Marvel Studios opening by rapidly flicking through pages of Teen Titans comics, only to subvert expectations and show that it’s simply a seagull flicking through a comic book! In this cartoonish world, the DC superheroes are such huge celebrities that they have their own merchandise and movie franchises, just like in the real world, with even the grim Dark Knight playing up to the paparazzi at the premiere of his new film, Batman Again, and heroes like Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Meredith Salenger) and even Doctor Raymond “Ray” Palmer/The Atom (Patton Oswold) being treated as Hollywood starlets.

The movie is jam packed with references, cameos, and fun musical numbers.

This is taken to the nth level when we see just how many superheroes are being given feature-films and the lengths to which Hollywood is going to milk Batman’s popularity with movies about his loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth, his high-tech vehicle, the Batmobile, and even his utility belt! Although a hilarious gag at the time, and with some basis in truth given how much Batman content had been produced by 2018, this lands even harder now considering Alfred received his own live-action television series and we even got a Cars-like (Various, 2006 to 2022) Batmobile cartoon! Even the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device is a precursor to the stranglehold over the genre that Marvel Studios would get with the onset of Disney+, making the film scarily ahead of its time in its metacommentary. The film also stands out with its fourth-wall-breaking humour; this includes jabs not only at existing DC properties, but also gags like the Teen Titans mistaken Slade for Wade W. Wilson/Deadpool, a parody of the iconic opening of The Lion King (Allers and Minkoff, 1994), references to one of my favourite cartoons, Animaniacs (1993 to 1998; 2020 to present), Superman (Donner, 1978) and the Tim Burton Batman movies (1989; 1992), and the Back to the Future trilogy (Zemeckis, 1985 to 1990), a gratuitous and self-referential cameo by Stan Lee himself, a fantastic jab at the whole “Martha!” debacle during the filming of Batman vs. Superman: Part II by having the two come to blows because their fathers have different names, and having Robin’s team mates embarrass him when they kick the crap out of Shia LaBeouf (James Arnold Taylor). Musical numbers also play a huge role here; we get our first taste of this when Balloon Man insults and shocks the group by claiming not to know who they are (he thinks they’re “lesser members” of the Justice League of the Guardians of the Galaxy), leading to them performing a rap number running down their names, powers, and a bit of their background (“GO!”). Unfortunately, they get so wrapped up in their singing and dancing that they’re completely upstaged by the Justice League. Struggling with his sense of self-worth and disheartened at being mocked by everyone, even the team’s adorable hand-crafted movie fails to cheer Robin up; it takes an amusingly generic “upbeat, inspirational song” to reignite Robin’s spark and renew his enthusiasm (“Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life”). Additionally, Robin’s able to describe his perfect solo superhero through song, resulting in a montage and homages to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Miller, et al, 1986),  Batman: The Animated Series (1992 to 1995) specifically designed to emphasise Robin’s competency, cute butt, and totally adult hands (“My Superhero Movie”). When the Teen Titans travel through time to take out their competition, the sequence is brilliantly set to A-ha’s “Take On Me” and Huey Lewis and the News’s “Back in Time”, they play Krypton’s crystals like a DJ deck to prevent the decidedly Donner-esque planet from exploding, and Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy get themselves kicked out of their own movie by pulling pranks all over the Warner Bros. Studio (“Shenanigans”).

In the end, the Titans come together to defeat Slade and earn the respect of their superhero peers.

Robin is so caught up in finally getting his time in the spotlight, away from the shadow of the Batman and the goofiness of his teammates, that he doesn’t even question Jade’s motivations or inputting the code to the vault as part of his movie’s finale. All too late, he realises that he’s been tricked into opening the actual vault and that Jade has been Slade in disguise all along in a surprising, and amusing, twist. Thanks to his manipulations as Jade, Slade has effectively subdued the Justice League by distracting them with their movies, leaving him free to steal the Ditronium Crystal, insert it into the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device, and control the minds of the world’s populace as part of a diabolical scheme for world domination. Thanks to his baby hands and Bat-gadgets, Robin is able to escape the exploding Titans Tower; seeing his home and his friends’ possessions go up in smoke makes him realise how selfish and foolish he’s been but his friends enthusiastically return to his side to aid him in stopping the broadcast of Robin: The Movie to prevent Slade’s plans from coming to fruition. After unmasking Slade before their superhero peers, the Teen Titans are forced to battle the Justice League when Slade uses the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device to turn them into his mindless slaves; thanks to a golf cart and Raven’s portal abilities, they’re able to take the Justice League out of the equation but, when Robin engages Slade in a one-on-one fight, Robin’s unable to resist watching footage of his film and is compelled to attack his friends. Robin’s brought to his senses when forced to watch the remainder of the homemade film the Titans made for him, reuniting the team in friendship just in time to battle Slade’s ridiculously oversized robot! Although Slade mocks them and boasts at his invincibility, Robin realises that their greatest asset is their goofball antics and they’re able to take out Slade’s robot using another of their dope songs (“GO! (Battle Remix)”) and an overwhelming combination of their unique powers and abilities. With the world freed from Slade’s control, the Ditronium Crystal destroyed, and Slade defeated, the Teen Titans finally earn the approval and respect of their peers, though Robin’s denied the chance to deliver a meaningful speech as everyone else insists that the movie’s over.

The Summary:
Teen Titans Go! To the Movies is a ridiculously over the top, slapstick romp in this exaggerated and cartoonish spin-off of the darker DC Animated Universe. Everything from the visuals, the gags, and the action is designed to appeal to younger audiences, ones who will delight at the instances of toilet humour and the fun music numbers, yet there’s a fair amount here for older audiences to enjoy as well. From cameos, references to other movies and DC properties, and some surprisingly dark inclusions that might go over the heads of little kids but had my spitting out my drink at times. The overriding narrative of the Teen Titans trying to earn respect for being superheroes is done pretty well, and wisely focuses on Robin’s obsession with being seen as more than a sidekick and worthy of his own movie, though the film doesn’t dwell too much on the wedge this causes between him and his friends. Similarly, the time travel side plot was primarily there as a gag, a funny one to be sure but one immediately undone to focus on the campaign against Slade. I would’ve liked to see the Teen Titans realise their worth in a world without the other superheroes, but it was fun seeing Slade mock them and wipe the floor with them and be revealed to have been disguised as Jade all along. While there isn’t much here for the other Teen Titans to do beyond be goofy, say their catchphrases, and sing and fight alongside Robin, the metacommentary on the influx of superhero movies was amusing and I found myself thoroughgoingly entertained through the film. I always enjoy it when animated movies sprinkle their narratives with little Easter Eggs for adults to enjoy and Teen Titans Go! To the Movies certainly succeeds in this regard, and with including some genuinely funny gags that keep the energy high, resulting in a very enjoyable animated romp.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Teen Titans Go! To the Movies? Were you a fan of the cartoon or did the move towards slapstick put you off? Which member of the team was your favourite and what did you think to Robin’s desire to be taken seriously as a superhero? Did you enjoy the musical numbers and the sprinklings of dark humour laced throughout? What s your favourite incarnation of the Teen Titans? Who is your favourite Robin and how are you celebrating the Boy Wonder’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on this film, Teen Titans, and Robin, leave a comment either below or on my social media.

Game Corner [Crossover Crisis]: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (Xbox 360)


In April of 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking, twelve issue Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1986) was published. This event, which was easily the biggest in DC Comics at that point (and for many years), saw the destruction of the “Multiverse”, an infinite number of parallel worlds, and the awkward establishing of one unified DC canon. Over the years, DC have returned to this concept again and again, retconning it, expanding upon it, and milking it to the point of excess but that doesn’t change how influential this massive crossover was. To celebrate this momentous event, I’ll be taking a look at multiversal crossovers every Tuesday in April in an event I call “Crossover Crisis”.


Released: 16 November 2008
Developer: Midway Games
Also Available For: PlayStation 3

The Background:
Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992) stood out from the competition at the time with its focus on gore and violence and unique digitised graphics; the game was a massive success for Midway and the first real competition for Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Capcom, 1991) in arcades and on home consoles. However, while the franchise went from strength to strength during the 2D era of gaming, Mortal Kombat struggled to find a footing in the emerging 3D fighter arena, leading to the developers desperately trying to be innovative and appealing in an increasingly competitive business. Since Capcom had seen some success with crossovers with Marvel Comics and other fighting game developers, Mortal Kombat co-developer Ed Boon scrapped plans for a back-to-basics reboot of his violent fighting series in favour of a crossover with DC Comics. While incorporating popular DC characters like Bruce Wayne/Batman and Clark Kent/Superman had the potential to broaden Mortal Kombat’s mainstream appeal, the license carried many restrictions for the developers; Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe was hampered by a “Teen” rating, which substantially neutered the series’ trademark violence. This, as much as anything, greatly contributed to the game’s mediocre reception; while some found the title surprisingly enjoyable, despite its bonkers premise, others found the gameplay and variety frustratingly tedious. Although the game received a “Kollector’s Edition” release, this was Midway Games’ last project before they went bankrupt and plans for downloadable content were subsequently scrapped. Thankfully, this wasn’t the final nail in the coffin for the franchise; the association with DC’ s parent company, Warner Bros, saw Midway being purchased by Warner and restructured into NetherRealm Studios, and the ultra violent was not only soon back on track but the new studio also eventually found success with the DC license in a separate series of fighting games.

The Plot:
After Raiden and Superman repel invasions from both their worlds simultaneously in their separate universes, villains, Shao Kahn and Darkseid are unexpectedly merged into “Dark Kahn” and the two universes to begin merging, with catastrophic events. With characters from both universes wildly fluctuating in power, representatives from both worlds come together to stop the merger by any means necessary.

Gameplay:
Mirroring the style and presentation of its mainline series, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is a 2.5D fighting game in which players pick from a roster initially comprised of twenty fighters of iconic characters from both franchise’s and battle through the game’s single-player story mode, fight one-on-one against another player or computer-controlled opponent, battle their way through an arcade ladder, or take on a series of increasingly difficult combo challenges. By default, fights take place in a best-of-three format and against a time limit but you can alter these settings (and many others, including the game’s difficulty and the use of blood) in the game’s main options menu to speed up gameplay or make it more accessible to you. Rather than employing different fighting styles and weapon combat like its predecessors, or properly incorporate different variations like in the later games, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe takes a very barebones approach to combat and gameplay options: controls are fully customisable but, by default, you can throw with X or Y, kicks with A or B, toss them aside with a generic throw with Left Bumper, block incoming attacks by holding the Right Trigger, dash towards (but not away from) your opponent, jump in or crouch down to attack or avoid incoming attacks, and string together combos by quickly pressing the attack buttons alongside directional inputs. The game includes a practice mode to help you get to grips with this, and a “Kombo Challenge” feature that helps you practice the game’s tricky combo system, but you can bring up your fighter’s moves at any time by pausing the game. It has to be said that combat is quite a hurdle here; you’ll sometimes jump or dash when you don’t mean to, even when using the directional pad, jumping punches can be very floaty and often miss, and the game seems weighted in the CPU’s favour even when playing on the easiest setting as they have no difficulty pulling off some of the ridiculous combos on offer here.

Unleash your Rage, pummel opponents in Free-Fall, or smash them through walls.

Each fighter can pull off a number of unique special moves with simple button and directional inputs (back, back, X, for example, or left, down, B); while these can be stringed together with combos, they can’t be enhanced like in subsequent games as your “Rage Meter” only allows you to pull of the ever-annoying breakers to interrupt combos and attacks when filled to the first tier and activate the game’s “Rage Mode” by pressing RT and LT at the same time. This will put you into “Rage” mode, which powers up your attacks and coats you in a glowing armour that weakens the damage you receive, shrugs off projectiles, and keeps you from being stunned or knocked over. This doesn’t last for very long but it can easily make short work of your opponent, and activating it will even see you unleash a burst of energy that knocks your foe away, so properly timing the burning of your Rage Meter can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. The game also features a few unique gameplay mechanics: if you grab your opponent with the Right Bumper , you’ll activate “Klose Combat” mode, which sees you pummelling or breaking your opponent’s limbs with successive presses of the face buttons. They (and you) can counter these attacks by pressing the right button at the right time, and these quasi-quick-time events (QTEs) also crop up in the “Free-Fall Kombat” and stage transition moments. In some stages, you can send your opponent plummeting down to a new part of the arena; while in free fall, you can mash different face buttons to deal damage and finish them off with RB, but they’ll turn the tide against you if they hit the right buttons. Similarly, some stages allow you to charge your opponent through a way, whereupon you’re asked to “Test Your Might!” in a tug-of-way style button mashing sequence that inflicts more damage the more of the bar you manage to fill. These mechanics can be fun ways to spice up the somewhat lacklustre in-game combat and definitely open up the otherwise bland and empty arenas a bit more since you can literally smash your opponent to new areas, but they’re a far cry from the stage transitions seen in the Injustice series (NetherRealm Studios, 2013 to present).

While you can get up close and personal with foes, the dull finishing moves will leave you disappointed.

Sadly, that’s about it for in-game options; some stages very destructible elements you can smash into, and all of the game’s characters sport special moves befitting of them (Sub-Zero’s ice blast, for example, and Bruce Wayne/Batman’s Batarangs) but, since the game is hampered by a lower rating, there is very little blood and none of the gore you’d expect from a Mortal Kombat. That’s not to say that Fatalities aren’t present, however, they’re just…what’s the word..?…oh yes! Shit. Unlike in subsequent games, you can’t view your character’s finisher inputs from the pause screen, which makes finishing your opponent a real chore, but very few of these moves are even worth your time pulling off. All of the Mortal Kombat characters can execute two Fatalities that will see them murder their opponent in the most PG way imaginable; while some leave the opponent an exceptionally dry and clean skeleton, most boil down to you simply stabbing, shooting, or crushing them with very little bloodshed. The more morally pure DC superheroes will opt to finish their opponent with one of two “Heroic Brutalities”, though many of these would no doubt leave the foe severely crippled or dead since we see the likes of Clark Kent/Superman driving them into the ground and Barry Allen/The Flash pummelling them at superspeed. Unlike in previous (and subsequent) Mortal Kombat videogames, there are no mini games to distract you and is no in-game currency to earn, no player profile or fighter card to customise, and no Krypt to explore to send your coins. There aren’t even alternate skins for the fighters beyond a very minor palette swap when choosing the same character, and the best the game offers is allowing you to view bios, character models, and endings in the “Extras” menu, all of which makes for a very stripped down title even compared to its predecessor, Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (Midway Games, 2006).

While there’s not much to the arcade mode, the story mode is decent enough, if limited and tedious.

This also means that there are no challenge towers or option combat modes like “Test Your Luck” or tag-team combat to spice up multi-player gameplay; you can play locally or online (well, I assume you can’t do this latter any more) in ranked and “King of the Hill” style matches but the arcade ladder is a standard, ten-fight challenge where the extent of the game’s variety is offering you the choice between facing all Mortal Kombat or all DC Universe opponents or a mixture of the two. Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe does, however, feature a single-player story mode but, strangely, it only allows you to play as up to eight characters from either side. After picking either the Mortal Kombat or DC Universe story, you’ll take control of a specific character and battle anywhere from three to five opponents as part of the campaign. This remains a great way to familiarise players with the vast majority of the game’s fighters and their unique combos and special moves, but you cannot perform finishing moves when playing the story mode. Although you can’t skip any of the cutscenes, or jump to specific chapters and fights after completion, you can save and quit…which is definitely something, though the game’s difficulty can become frustrating as the computer-controlled characters love to block your attacks, uppercut you out of nowhere, and jump-kick you out of the air, and can seemingly juggle you in an inescapable combo at will! Unlike in later NetherRealm Studios games, the story mode is as basic as it gets; the only time it actually tries anything remotely different is during Major Jackson “Jax” Briggs’ chapter as you’re forced to battle Diana Prince/Wonder Woman without your machine gun, which means you’re robbed of on of your ranged attacks. If you’re defeated, you have ten in-game seconds to choose between continuing and quitting, which is true of the arcade and two-player bouts as well. Unfortunately, winning or losing in two-player mode simply dumps you back to the fighter select screen and, as far as I could tell, there isn’t even a way to select your stage let alone input Kombat Kodes or activate anything interesting to make the fights less of a chore.

Graphics and Sound:
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe looks pretty good, for the most part; the character models are very similar to those seen in Mortal Kombat (NetherRealm Studios, 2011), meaning they hold up about as well, but some suffer more than others. Women, for example, look particularly off; sure, it’s great seeing Selina Kyle/Catwoman’s amply cleavage and Lieutenant Sonya Blade’s nipples poking through her top, but they’re all impossibly sexualised and their hair is very blocky and static. Unlike later NetherRealm Studios offerings, character’s don’t have unique intros or dialogue with each other before a fight; the camera simply pans the arena and zooms in to find the combatants ready to go and, while they do have little animations between rounds, these don’t seem particularly unique to any fighter. Post-fight animations are a little more unique, but there’s a definite lack of variety and character in each fighter which reminds me of the cut-and-paste job seen in Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (with the exception of the Joker, who dances and prances all over the place at every opportunity). On the plus side, characters do take battle damage; you’ll see their clothes rip, blood and bruises form on skin, and even uncover Scorpion’s skull as inflict damage on your opponent, which is fun, but the lack of any alternate attires or skins is a major tick in the “Con” column for this barebones title.

Stages are quite bland, but character models and cutscenes are okay, save for the poor endings.

There are some other notable little details on offer, however; when you toss Kano’s dagger at an opponent, it’ll stay stuck in their chest for a bit, you can sheath and unsheathe Baraka’s arm-claws with a press of B, you’ll see Sub-Zero’s icy breath, and there’s even a reference to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Meyer, 1982) thrown in for good measure. Another thing in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe’s favour, however, is that the CGI cutscenes are basically indistinguishable from the in-fight graphics; while the character models might be a little less detailed than in later games and have that action figure sheen that is common in this generation of games, it’s still impressive that there’s little distinction between the two, though the voice acting leaves a lot to be desired (the DC Animated Universe this is not!) and there’s very little to inspire you in the soundtrack, either. Similarly, stages are quite a let-down; the majority of them have this half-and-half theme going on where the DC Universe is split or merging with that of Outworld, NetherRealm, or Earthrealm but, even with that, there’s hardly anything to see or do and the stages are disappointingly bland and empty considering how big they are and the fat that you can navigate them in a 3D space. The likes of Oa, Themyscira, and the Fortress of Solitude probably stand out the most and have a few things to see in the background, but there’s a distinct and disappointing lack of Easter Eggs and visually interesting stages. Probably the most interesting one is the asteroid stage that sees you transitioning above and below thanks to the messed up gravity, but the game continues to bug me with presenting all these passable CGI cutscenes and relegating the arcade mode endings to a series of still pictures with narration.

Enemies and Bosses:
Since this is a fighting game, every character will inevitably be your enemy at some point so it can be useful to get an idea of what each one is capable of by playing through the story mode and completing their arcade ladders. However, there isn’t really too much to distinguish each character; you’ think the Flash would be faster and slippery to control compared to Liu Kang but he really isn’t and, while Jax and Billy Batson/Captain Marvel may utilise powerful grabs, they don’t feel any slower than someone like Kano or Hal Jordan/Green Lantern. Every character has a few simple combos that it’s best to learn so you can leap in, mash X three times or X, X, Y and then hit a special move or a throw to deal some decent damage, and they’re obviously made a bit more unique by their individual special moves. Characters will invariably have a projectile or some kind of range attack, a rush or grapple of some kind, and sometimes even disorientating gadgets like flash or smoke grenades. Some have more special moves on offer than others; Shang Tsung, for example, can toss flaming skulls across the screen and from above, suck his opponent’s health to fill his own, swap places (but not bodies) with them, and pull off a slide while other characters, like Batman, Sub-Zero, and the Joker, have parry moves in their arsenal that can interrupt attacks. Some characters are also a little more versatile than others; Superman can suck enemies in for a big punch, rush at them and smack them out of the air, fry them with his heat vision, freeze them with his breath, and perform flying attacks while Lex Luthor relies on his mech suit to fire missiles and blast away from danger. It’s when playing or fighting against the Mortal Kombat characters that long-time series fans will be at their most familiar: Liu Kang tosses his trademark fireballs and flying kicks, Jax grabs his foe and causes shockwaves, Kane launches himself like a cannonball, Scorpion throws his trademark spear, and Kitana uses her fans and dashes about in the air to be her usual annoying self.

Overcome the largely interchangeable fighters to chip away at the monstrous despots.

The lack of powered-up attacks, unique throws, and the generic effects of Rage Mode mean that you really don’t have to tailor your fighting style all that much against different opponents; Raiden’s abilities don’t really make him all that different from Slade Wilson/Deathstroke as both can be jumped over, ducked under, and attacked even if one has a dash and teleport and the other relies more on ranged attacks. You also won’t have to worry about any secret fighters cropping up in the arcade ladder; what you see is basically what you get but you do have to watch for characters like Sonya stringing together their multi-kick attacks in a cheap-ass combo. The exception to this comes in the form of the game’s big bad, Dark Kahn, who basically just looks like a slightly tweaked version of Blaze from Mortal Kombat: Armageddon and fights with a combination of moves from Shao Kahn and Darkseid. Dark Kahn awaits at the end of the story mode and arcade tower and is easily the biggest challenge you’ll face outside of the harder difficulties and opponents getting cheaper and more aggressive. A lumbering, monstrous foe, Dark Kahn can absorb a great deal of damage, gains armour and invincibility frames, and can drain your health bar to nothing in just a few basic swipes to say nothing of his energy barrier, shoulder charge, rising knee, and Warhammer attacks. Your best bet against him is to soften him up with ranged attacks and projectiles and stay moving; hop in, land a combo, and follow it up with a jump kick and then back away to avoid him stringing together his devastating moves in an inescapable barrage. The same is true of Shao Kahn and Darkseid, who act as sub-bosses in the arcade ladder; individually, they’re almost as formidable as their merged form, with both able to stun you with their hammer, fry you with their eye lasers, and smash you into the ground with a leaping attack. While you can’t play as Dark Kahn or perform your finishing moves on him, you can perform your finishing moves against Shao Kahn and Darkseid but, while both of these characters are unlocked after finishing the story mode (and, confusingly, pressing RB on the character select screen rather than adding them to the roster), neither of them have Fatalities of their own. Ultimately, while these three aren’t as impossible or as cheap as other Mortal Kombat bosses and sub-bosses, none of them really challenge your combat skills beyond relying on hit-and-run and spam tactics much like the previous two Mortal Kombat videogames that just ended with this hulking beast that could wreck you if given a chance rather than something that actually requires a bit more skill.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
There’s absolutely nothing on offer in this regard in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe beyond the individual character’s special moves; this game is severely lacking even for a one-on-one fighter as there are no codes or options to spice up gameplay, no weapons to grab, barely anything to interact with in stages, and characters don’t even get buffs or anything with their special moves the closest they get is teleporting, surrounding themselves in a damaging aura for a bit, or tossing bombs or grenades either close, mid-range, or far away.

Additional Features:
There are fifty Achievements on offer in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe; many of these are obtained simply by playing through the story mode, with Achievements popping after certain chapters and completing each (and both) stories. Simpler ones are acquired by performing a ten-hit combat, initiating Klose- and Free-Fall Kombat, and performing one Fatality or Heroic Brutality. Things get a little more complicated and frustrating when you try to perform all of these moments as a handful of them require you to press up, which makes you jump and interrupts the sequence, and in trying to get the 5G Achievements from completing each character’s Kombo Challenge otherwise, you’ll get Achievements for finishing the arcade ladder with all characters and competing in online fights, which are probably impossible to get these days. These involved standard fare that you might expect, as mentioned, and you can fight locally, but beyond unlocking every character’s ending and trying to finish their Kombo Challenges, there really isn’t anything else on offer here once you’ve finished the story mode and a few arcade ladders. There’s no concept art, character models, or extras to unlock, no gear or skins or arenas to unlock, and no downloadable fighters on offer, making for an extremely barebones and lacklustre fighting title that struggles to compete against others in the genre or even its predecessors.

The Summary:  
There was a lot of promise in the concept of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe; after the success that Capcom had with their ventures with Marvel Comics, this could’ve been a great springboard to a more mainstream audience. Sadly the game is let-down at almost every turn: everything from the music to the visuals and the depths of the combat is just lacking, to say nothing of the additional features and options for replayability. It’s interesting revisiting this after playing Mortal Kombat ’11 since that game was supposed to be the franchise’s back-to-basics approach but it’s hard to get more barebones than Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Even some of the 2D games had little extras, mini games or cheats or options to tweak the gameplay, but there’s absolutely nothing here, not even alternate skins for the fighters! The story mode is okay; it’s a paper thin excuse to mash these worlds together but it works, but I have no idea why it’s not a twenty-chapter mode that lets you play as each character from both sides. I’m actually a bit lenient on the lacklustre finishing moves; I get that the game couldn’t show spines being ripped out and flash being melted, but I think a little more effort could’ve gone into these and I really don’t like the term “Heroic Brutality”. The Free-Fall Kombat, Klose Kombat, and stage transitions are somewhat interesting, but the stages are so bland and empty that they’re completely wasted here. similarly, the lack of individuality to these colourful characters and the generic nature of their special moves and the Rage Mode really make this probably the most mediocre game in the entire franchise. Ultimately, this feels like a rushed, budget title that was hampered by pressing deadlines and financial pressure and a complete waste of the DC license. If you can get it cheap, give it a try and nab some easy Achievements, but otherwise you’re better off playing NetherRealm’s later games as this is just such a throwaway disappointment of a game.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

What did you think to Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe? Were you disappointed by its use of the DC license? What were your thoughts on the game’s story and its depiction of these worlds merging? Which of the game’s fighters was your favourite and why? What did you think to the Free-Fall and Klose Kombat features? Were you disappointed by the lack of special features and the Rage Mode mechanic? Which characters or features would you have liked to see added to the game? Which Mortal Kombat and/or DC Comics videogame, movie, comic, or other piece of media is your favourite? Are you a fan of multiverse stories and crossovers? Whatever you think about Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe, sign up to leave a comment down below or leave your thoughts on my social media and be sure to check back in next Tuesday for more Crossover Crisis content!

Game Corner [JLA Day]: Justice League Heroes (PlayStation 2)


To celebrate the release of Justice League (Snyder/Whedon, 2017), DC Comics named November 18 “Justice League Day”. Sadly, this clashes with something else I have planned for that date this year but, setting aside all the drama surrounding that movie, this still provides a perfect excuse to dedicating some time to talking about DC’s premier superhero team, which set the standard for super teams in comics by bringing together DC’s most powerful heroes.


Released: 22 November 2006
Developer: Snowblind Studios
Also Available For: Nintendo DS, PlayStation Portable, and Xbox

The Background:
After coming together in November 1959, the Justice League of America (JLA) quickly became one of DC Comic’s best-selling titles. This shouldn’t be entirely surprising considering the team came to be comprised of DC’s most popular characters: Clark Kent/Superman, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Hal Jordan/Green Lantern, Arthur Curry/Aquaman, Barry Allan/The Flash, and J’onn J’onzz (also known as “John Jones”)/Martian Manhunter. The team saw many members come and go over the years but was a constant staple of DC’s library of comic books and soon expanded into other media. Interestingly, the Justice League’s success hasn’t always resulted in the best videogames, though, meaning developers Snowblind Studios faced a bit of an uphill battle right from the start when creating Justice League Heroes. Built out of a modified engine of their critically acclaimed title Baldur’s Gate: Dark Alliance (ibid, 2001), the developers ending up removing features from that game and engine to focus on extending the length of Justice League Heroes, which has more than a few similarities to Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (Raven Software/Barking Lizards Technologies, 2006), which released about a month earlier. Reviews of the game were mixed across platforms, though, and the game was generally regarded as a bit of a mediocre and mindless beat-‘em-up.

The Plot:
The Earth is under attack from the robot forces of Brainiac, who has coerced many of the world’s most notorious supervillains into helping him consolidate the power afforded to him by a mysterious box from the stars. In response, the world’s greatest heroes, the Justice League, leap into action and team up to oppose Brainiac’s plot in a globe-trotting adventure that requires all of their individual abilities and skills.

Gameplay:
Justice League Heroes is a top-down action brawler in which you (and either another player or a computer-controlled partner) battle through a number of recognisable locations from the DC universe as various members of the Justice League. The game’s story is split into a number of missions that see two members of the Justice League teaming up at any one time; a second, human player can join the game at any point from the pause menu, a solo player can freely switch between the two heroes at will by pressing up on the directional pad (D-pad), and you’ll also be tasked with assembling one or more custom teams of two characters later in the story but you’ll never get the opportunity to switch out characters completely or replay missions with different characters. Gameplay in Justice League Heroes revolves almost entirely around beating up endless hoards of robots and aliens and solving some very light puzzles; characters can jump with a press of the Triangle button (and double jump or fly/glide with subsequent presses depending on who you’re playing as), attack with strong and fast attacks with Circle and X, respectively, and can grab enemies or objects with Square and block incoming attacks by holding R1. By entering different button presses (X, X, O, for example), players can pull off simple combo attacks to take out enemies but there are, sadly, no team up attacks to be found here.

The Justice League’s various superpowers are at your disposal and can be upgraded to be more effective.

While every character controls the same except for their ability to fly or glide, each one is made slightly different from the other through their individual superpowers. By pressing L1 and either Triangle, Square, Circle, or X, players can pull off their character’s signature super moves as long as they have enough energy stored up. This allows you to blast enemies with Superman’s heat vision, for example, or turn them into rabbits with Zatanna Zatara’s magic, or smash them with John Stewart/Green Lantern’s massive sledgehammer. Pressing L1 and R1 will see each character (with some exceptions) pull off a more powerful  super special attack which, again, varies per character; Superman, for example, will become stronger while Batman unleashes a swarm of bats to damage foes and Martian Manhunter briefly becomes intangible and invisible. They’re all pretty useful and different enough in their own way, with most characters having a projectile of some sort, a move to boost their attack or speed, or being able to stun or otherwise incapacitate enemies and you’ll sometimes (very rarely) need to use a specific character’s superpowers to bypass obstacles in order to progress. When playing alone, you can also issue simple commands to your partner using the D-pad; this allows you to increase the aggressiveness of their attack or have them focus on defence, which can be useful when teamed with Zatanna as she’s able to heal all team members.

Rescue civilians, activate consoles, and destroy certain targets to progress amidst the mindless brawling.

Overall, I found the computer to be surprisingly useful and competent; if your partner gets downed, however, you’ll have to rush in to revive them but the game automatically revives any downed characters when you reach one of its numerous checkpoints and enemies will often drop health-restoring orbs to keep you ticking over. Furthermore, if you’re able to attack enemies without taking damage, you’ll build up your “Heroic Meter”, which will increase your damage output until you get hit, and you can alter the difficulty of the game and its enemies by selecting different difficulty settings from the main menu. Despite the game being extremely linear, the developers included a helpful mini map, which you can expand by pressing in the right analogue stick. This isn’t always necessary but, as many of the environments are rather drab, grey, similar, and somewhat labyrinthine at times, it’s a welcome addition to keep you on track even during the game’s shorter and more straightforward missions. Unfortunately, the top-down view can be rather restrictive at times; many areas are filled with debris or obstructions and it always seems like you can only see just enough of the area, which can lead to enemies catching you off guard or hiding behind parts of the environment with no way to see them as they don’t show up on the map. It’s not all mindless brawling, either; occasionally, you’ll be tasked with rescuing a number of civilians or hostages, faced with a time limit, or directed to activate consoles to lower barriers in order to progress. As alluded to earlier, these very rarely require you to use the Flash’s superspeed or the Martian Manhunter’s intangibility to get past obstacles and stop fans, lower energy barriers, or deactivate Kryptonite hazards so that you can progress further. Sometimes you’ll also need to destroy a wall or use a character’s flight to progress across rooftops and, in the final portion of the game, you’ll not only have to protect Superman as he smashes through Darkseid’s fortress but you’ll also be faced with an extremely frustrating and confusing teleport puzzle that was the only time I had to actively look up a solution online.

Graphics and Sound:
Thanks to its zoomed out, top-down perspective, Justice League Heroes is, largely, able to get away with hiding any inconsistencies and defects in its in-game character models. Since you never really see your characters up close, the developers can have them talk and drop hints and quips without really needing to animate their mouths and the simple beat-‘em-up action of the game means that characters just need to look somewhat decent when they throw punches, grab cars, or blast out energy beams. And, for the most part, they do; there’s some neat little touches here and there (like Martian Manhunter being able to transform into his true, more monstrous form and the Flash being accompanied by a speed force double and lightning) and characters are always talking so you know when you need to drop or combine Boosts or have a vague idea of how the story is progressing.

Sadly, the game’s environments and enemies tend to be quite dark, bland, and boring.

Sadly, enemies and environments don’t always live up to the colourful and eye-catching depiction of the titular Justice League. It takes a long time for you to battle anything other than Brainiac’s generic robots or explore areas beyond the wrecked streets of Metropolis or the cold, grey corridors of Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (S.T.A.R. Labs) and the like. Eventually, though, you do venture into more visually unique environments like the subways, a honeycomb and sap-encrusted hive, the ruins of J’onn’s civilisation on Mars, Gorilla City, a Lovecraftian dimension populated by strange rock creatures and living tentacles, and a version of Apokolips created on Earth but there’s very little variety offered in terms of the enemies or puzzles and hazards you face as you progress. No matter where you are, it’s the same thing every time: defeat all enemies, maybe activate a console, and reach the end of the stage.

Even Ron Perlman can’t salvage the blurry, rubbery graphics of the game’s cinematics.

The bulk of the game’s story (which is about as generic as you can get for a Justice League videogame) is conveyed through CG cutscenes featuring the traditional rubbery-looking graphics you’d expect from a PlayStation 2 game. I did notice some slowdown when there was a lot happening onscreen and, in terms of music and sound, the game is very unimpressive; the voice cast isn’t even the same one as in the popular Justice League animated series (2001 to 2006) and, while I love me some Ron Perlman, he just sounds bored whenever his Batman speaks (I’m also not really a fan of how often Batman is shown in broad daylight).

Enemies and Bosses:
As I’ve mentioned a bit already, you’ll wade through numerous disposable enemies in your mission to stop Brainiac and his lieutenants but none of them are particularly interesting. You’ll battle robots of varying sizes, humanoid wasps, White Martians on the surface of Mars, Gorilla Grodd’s gorilla forces, and Parademons but, once you’ve fought one lot of enemies, you’ve fought them all as they all feature regular foot soldiers who shoot at you and both flying and bigger variants that can take a bit more punishment. Honestly, the only enemies I even remotely found interesting were the weird crab and toad-like enemies you face later in the game and the instances where you battle Brainiac’s skull robots and failed clones of Doomsday because they at least looked a little different.

Many of the game’s bosses require you to fend off minions or destroy or activate consoles to attack them.

Before you can defeat Brainiac, you’ll have to battle a number of bosses; some of these are simply bigger, more dangerous versions of enemies you’ve already fought or Brainiac’s more deadly robots and duplicates. You’ll battle a Brainiac duplicate in S.T.A.R. Labs, for example, but this fight isn’t just about throwing punches. Instead, you have to activate consoles to lower barriers and rescue the scientists against a time limit all while “Brainiac” fires lasers and energy blasts at you. You’ll also encounter some of the more obscure villains from DC Comics’ gallery; Queen Bee has established a hive in the Metropolis subway and is transforming civilians into monstrous insect hybrids and, when you confront her in her throne room, she shields herself from your attacks and rains missiles into the arena that make the floor sticky. She’s only vulnerable when she leaves her throne but your window of opportunity to attack her is hampered somewhat by her minions, her energy blasts, and her tendency to dart across the screen like a madwoman. You’ll also butt heads with the Key, of all people. Like with Brainiac’s duplicate, you have to rescue some scientists against a time limit during this battle but the Key proves to be a particularly elusive and versatile enemy as he teleports around the place and causes hazards to blast out from his dimensional portals.

Grodd and Brainiac use their powers, technology, and minions to keep you at bay.

Similarly, when fighting Doctor Louise Lincoln/Killer Frost, you’re given one minute and forty seconds to destroy three missiles (and five seconds to get away from each before they explode) in addition to battling her and her icy minions. Killer Frost can conjure grunts, form ice shields, and blast at you with ice and icicles, all of which can make battling her quite tricky and annoying as your attentions are constantly divided. After reaching the core of a pyramid-like structure on Mars, Superman and the Martian Manhunter have to battle the White Martian leader; this guy is also accompanied by disposable White Martian grunts and you’re tasked with activating four nearby power nodes to defeat him. Things get noticeably more interesting when the Justice League splits into teams; while one team flies through the upper atmosphere destroying generators on invading spacecraft, another destroys power turbines in Gorilla City and gets into a confrontation with Gorilla Grodd. Grodd primarily uses his staff to attack and is joined not only by an inexhaustible supply of gorilla minions but also a series of energy-firing turrets so it’s probably best to try and keep your distance and stay on the move to emerge victorious in this fight. After battling their own security system in their Watchtower space station, the Justice League then faces off with a larger, more powerful Doomsday clone that, unlike pretty much every other boss in the game, boils down to a question of who can attack hardest and fastest rather than distracting you with tricks and puzzles.

Of course Darkseid turns out to be the true final boss of the game!

Eventually, you’ll breach Brainiac’s main base and be forced to battle his three robot guardians before you confront him; Brainiac is completely protected by an energy shield and is only vulnerable when he rises from his throne and only for a brief window of time. He also likes to teleport you to the far end of the arena, where you’re forced to destroy the generators that power his barriers and take out some minions just to get back up to him, so it’s more a question of patience than anything. As you might have guessed, the moment you defeat Brainiac he is immediately usurped by Darkseid, who teleports you away to a hellish dimension and then converts Earth into a new Apokolips. You’ll need to assemble two teams of four to confront Darkseid, who stomps around his throne room creating shockwaves and plumes of fire along the ground and blasting at you with his powerful Omega Beams. Being an all-powerful New God, his health also regenerates over time, meaning you’ll have to keep pummelling him again and again in order to keep him down. This was, honestly, a bit of a confusing fight; you can grab the “Apokolips Hypercube” nearby, which seems to weaken him and make him vulnerable to your attacks but I also found myself running around with it in my hands and not doing any damage to Darkseid at all and then he just suddenly succumbed to my attacks and was defeated.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
In almost every area in the game, you’ll find objects that you can grab and use as weapons; some of these are limited to the specifics of your character, though, meaning that you won’t be lifting cars over your head as, say, Oliver Queen/Green Arrow, for example. Still, you can grab post boxes and parking meters and cars and such to bash over enemy’s heads, which adds a bit of variety to the otherwise relentless combat. You can also pick up temporary power-ups throughout each environment to give yourself and your team mate a bit of a power boost so it can be worth exploring a little bit and smashing destructible objects wherever you see them.

Level-up to increase your stats power-up your attacks with Skill Points and Boosts.

The game also features some light role-playing elements; as you defeat enemies, you’ll gain experience points (EXP) and level-up once you’ve earned enough EXP. This will increase your stats and abilities but you also earn Skill Points that you can spend upgrading your character’s superpowers up to five different ranks to increase their effectiveness and duration. Additionally, enemies will also drop various “Boosts” that you can equip at any time; you can also combine Boosts together to create new, more powerful Boosts and equipping these will also boost your superpowers, increase your damage output or defence, or increase the range and duration of your attacks.

Additional Features:
Although the game is extremely linear, there are often some rewards to be found through exploration; generally, these will just be stockpiles of health, energy, or Boosts but you’ll also find be civilians in danger who need rescuing who will drop “Justice League Shields”. Shields can also be found by destroying parts of the environment and you can spend these on skins and additional characters. While you can select any of the unlockable costumes at any time, they won’t actually load until you reach the next checkpoint/area and you can only select to play as the unlocked characters when the game allows you to pick a team of your own. The skins available are quite impressive, though; while not every character gets a skin, some offer bonus boosts to your stats and there’s some fan favourites available here, like Superman’s black suit, Batman’s traditional blue and grey suit, and the Jay Garrick version of the Flash. You can also unlock the likes of Green Arrow, Aquaman (sporting his water hand), Helena Bertinelli/The Huntress, and what I assume is the Kendra Saunders version of Hawkgirl.

Unlock additional characters, costumes, and modes by finding Shields and completing the game.

You’ll notice, however, that neither Huntress, Aquaman, or Hawkgirl have an L1+R1 special move, though I’m not entirely sure why. You can also unlock Hal Jordan and Kyle Rayner but, despite these two being separate characters, they control exactly the same as John Stewart, which is a little disappointing; none of the unlockable characters have alternate costumes either, which is a bit of a missed opportunity in my book. Initially, you can select from Easy, Normal, or Hard difficulties but you’ll unlock two more difficulty levels (Elite and Superhero, on which most enemies will kill you in one hit) and be given the option of starting the game over from the beginning with all of the upgrades and EXP you amassed during your run upon completing the game. Sadly, there’s no option to free play any mission with any character, no versus mode, and no option to play online or with more than one other player but there are a number of cheats that you can activate from the pause menu to give yourself invincibility, infinite energy, all upgrades, and a bunch of Shields to quickly unlock all of the game’s skins and characters.

The Summary:
Justice League Heroes isn’t going to really offer you anything you can’t get from any other mindless beat-‘em-up; the stages and enemy designs can be very bland and boring and there really isn’t much asked of you other than to mash the same buttons over and over and activate a few consoles. Still, as a fan of beat-‘em-ups and brawlers, I found Justice League Heroes to be a pretty decent way of spending an afternoon; there’s a lot of characters available to you and I like that the story mixes the teams up quite often and allows you to put together your own teams, and the game is probably even more enjoyable with a friend to play with. There could have been more options and unlockables available (such as free play mode, maybe some challenges, and a boss rush), the music and graphics can stutter a bit, and the game is awash with dark, boring, grey locations, but, as a repetitive brawler featuring the Justice League, it’s decent enough, though probably not very appealing to those that aren’t fans of the source material and characters.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever played Justice League Heroes? If so, what did you think to it? Were you disappointed by the game’s presentation, selection of villains, and the inability to freely pick characters on the go? Which of the available characters was your favourite and preferred duo? What genre do you think would work for a future Justice League videogame? What version of the Justice League is your favourite and are there any DC superheroes you’d like to see added to the team someday? How are you celebrating Justice League Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Justice League Heroes, and the Justice League in general, feel free to drop a comment below.

Talking Movies [Superman Month]: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’ve been spending every Sunday of June celebrating the Man of Steel by expanding Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


Released: 24 July 1987
Director: Sidney J. Furie
Distributor:
Warner Bros. / Columbia-Cannon-Warner-EMI Distributors
Budget:
$17 million
Stars:
Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Mariel Hemingway, Jon Cryer, and Mark Pillow

The Plot:
When criminal mastermind Lex Luthor’s (Hackman) nephew, Lenny (Cryer), breaks him out of prison, he enacts a diabolic scheme to destroy Superman (Reeve) by creating his own super-powered minion, “Nuclear Man” (Pillow/Hackman). As if this threat wasn’t bad enough, Superman (and his alter ego, Clark Kent) is suffering a crisis of conscience and the heart as he struggles to keep the world from nuclear destruction and to balance his love life.

The Background:
Superman III ( Lester, 1983) might have been a critical disappointment but producers Alexander and Ilya Salkind were happy to produce a fourth film if its predecessor made over $40 million at the box office. Somehow, it did, but the duo’s financial concerns and Reeve’s reluctance to return to the franchise ultimately saw them selling the Superman rights to the Cannon Group for $5 million in June 1985. Cannon managed to entice Reeve back with a $6 million payday, additional creative control (the anti-nuclear angle of the film was his idea), and financing for another project. However, the production was off to a rocky start almost immediately; Richard Donner turned down the director’s chair, Reeve clashed with Wes Craven and was unable to convince the studio to hire Ron Howard, and co-star Jon Cryer described the entire film as a “nightmare” to shoot. Thanks to Cannon’s ongoing legal issues, the film’s budget was routinely slashed, an entire sub-plot was cut, and the once-vaulted special effects took a dramatic decline in quality. Unsurprisingly, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was a dismal box office bomb; the film fell short of $40 million, which is frankly pathetic after the success of the first film, and has been repeatedly touted as not only the death knell of the franchise but one of the worst movies ever made.

The Review:
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is another difficult one for me to revisit; as a kid, I remember being entertained by the film, which was full of bright colours, action, and another physical confrontation for the Man of Steel but, as many have stated in the years since, it can’t be denied that the series had taken a massive and unexpected dip in quality since the ground-breaking original and its influential sequel. The film opens with a poignant scene at the Kent farm where, following the offscreen death of his mother, Clark is preparing to sell his childhood home. Before doing so, he retrieves a glowing Kryptonian energy module from the remains of his ship, which is rendered forever cold and silent as a result, and Clark’s day-to-day life is made all the more complicated by the interference of David Warfield (Sam Wanamaker) and his daughter Lacy (Hemingway) in the running of the Daily Planet; annoyed at the Planet’s lack of profitability, the Warfield’s put pressure on editor-in-chief Perry White (Jackie Cooper) to sex-up the traditional publication and the elder Warfield is so full of himself that he makes his daughter’s promotion front page news!

An odd three/four-way love triangle develops between Clark, his alter ego, and his leading ladies.

Although Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole) is sadly missing from the film and no mention is made of her, an awkward love triangle (more like a love square, I guess) does become a sub-plot of the film when newcomer Lacy takes a shine to Clark Kent. This leads to such “hilarious” moments as Clark visiting a gym with Lacy and feigning difficulty with the machines, and a laughable sequence where Clark and Lacy double date with Lois Lane (Kidder) and Superman, forcing Clark to dive in and out of costume to keep both women happy before thankfully being called away by a greater threat. The film even unashamedly rips off the Superman/Lois romance from the first two films; having a crisis of conscience regarding the world’s nuclear crisis, Clark reveals his identity to Lois, takes her on a terribly composited flight around the world, and asks for her advice before wiping her memory once again. While there is a poignant moment to be found here when Clark laments how unfair it is that he is forced to share himself with the entire world rather than the woman he loves, this largely amounts to an uncomfortable bit of selfishness on Superman’s part since he freely toys with Lois’s emotions and her memory rather than finding a less invasive way of decided what he should do about the looming threat of nuclear war.

After a moral debate, Superman ultimately decides to rid the Earth of all nuclear weapons.

Indeed, perhaps the film’s most promising and appealing element is the question of worldwide nuclear destruction; I know a lingering fear I’ve always had about our world is the presence of nuclear weapons, just one of which could cause a cataclysmic disaster that could end all life on the planet, and tackling this issue with Superman has a lot of potential that really deserves to be in a better movie. When begged to intervene in the nuclear arms race, Superman finds himself torn between his morals since the ghosts of the Kryptonian council vehemently forbid him from interfering in human history. Ultimately, however, Superman decides that he loves the Earth too much to see it go the same way as Krypton and announces to the world’s governments that he is going to rid the planet of all nuclear weapons. He does this by, of course, having them all shot into space so he can gather them up in a giant net and hurl them into the Sun, an ingenious solution that potentially means the world should calm down into a semi-utopia but actually gives birth to a supervillain whose powers match (and, in many ways, surpass) Superman’s.

Using Superman’s DNA, Luthor births Nuclear Man, a ridiculous supervillain capable of crippling the Man of Steel.

This Nuclear Man is the latest brainchild of criminal genius Lex Luthor; easily freed from his imprisonment by his loud-mouthy, goofball nephew Lenny, Luthor (now completely disregarding both bald caps and wigs for Hackman’s natural hair) hatches a plot to take advantage of Superman’s deeds and birth a superpowered minion of his own using a strand of Superman’s hair (also acquired with a ridiculous amount of ease) and some ill-defined genetic tissue attached to one of the nukes. The result is the violent but child-like Nuclear Man, a being born of both Superman and Luthor who exhibits incredible superhuman powers when exposed to sunlight but becomes useless and dormant when bathed in the slightest of shadows. Still, Nuclear Man proves to be a formidable threat; not only does he cause all kinds of chaos and destruction across the globe with his powers but he is also able to cripple Superman with radiation sickness using his talons. However, thanks to the energy module from his ship, Superman is able to recover and ultimately defeat Nuclear Man by shifting the orbit of the Moon and dropping his inert form into a nuclear power plant.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I find Superman IV incredibly fascinating in a lot of ways; considering both Margot Kidder and Gene Hackman were pissed at the treatment of Richard Donner, I find it mind-boggling that the two (especially Hackman) agreed to be in this absolute mess of a movie. While the film doesn’t have to worry about being dominated by the buffoonery of Richard Pryor, any drama and tension that might be felt by Nuclear Man is completely negated by the presence of Lenny. Thankfully, he’s nowhere near as prominent as Gus Gorman but he’s basically Otis (Ned Beatty) dialled up to eleven and infused with a lazy, surfer-dude persona and I never quite understood why these films felt compelled to lumber Luthor with halfwit accomplices (though I actually probably would have preferred to see Otis take Lenny’s place).

The special effects and film logic have taken a massive hit thanks to the miniscule budget.

Of course, one of the first things you’ll notice about Superman IV is that the once-lauded special effects have taken a massive hit; the budget cuts are apparent right from the off as the opening titles pale in comparison to the first film, John Williams’ score seems devoid of all its usual enthusiasm, and even Superman’s rescue of a runaway subway train is lacklustre. Rather than film dynamic and unique flying sequences, the film simply reuses the same shot of Reeve flying at the camera over and over again and, unlike in the previous films, it’s pretty much impossible not to spot that this is a poorly-composited effect. The film’s wirework is equally sloppy and embarrassing compared to the last three films; the fight between Nuclear Man and Superman on the Moon is a plodding affair the lacks any of the intensity seen in Superman’s battles in the second and third movies. Add to that the frankly ludicrous depiction of Superman’s powers (he can now rebuild the Great Wall of China using just his eyes) and concepts as simple as outer space (not only do Nuclear Man and Superman move around freely on the Moon but Lacy is somehow able to breathe in the great void, despite astronauts and space-faring equipment being seen in the opening sequence!), and it’s frankly humiliating to see just how far the series has fallen since the first movie.

Superman IV‘s few good moments would shine all the brighter in a film that was actually good…

Superman comes under fire when he initially turns down the heartfelt plea from schoolboy Jeremy (Damian McLawhorn) to step in and help with the nuclear crisis, something he feels compelled to do despite the urgings of the long-dead Kryptonian council. Feeling a deepfelt love for his adopted world, he feels morally obligated to step in but only does so after confiding in Lois once more. Truthfully, the nuclear plotline is something I’d love to see addressed in the comics some time; I get that it’d be “too easy” to have Superman simply solve the world’s problems but I feel like getting rid of the world’s nuclear weapons deserves a bit of a pass. Clearly attempting to leech off what worked in the first movie, Superman IV’s various call-backs (Superman and Lois go for a fly, Luthor impersonates a military officer and communicates with Superman on a special frequency, Lois gets flustered interviewing Superman, and his abilities are restored using Kryptonian technology, to name just a few) just paint it as a pale, low-budget imitation of better movies. While there are a few decent moments in the film (Superman addressing the United Nations and being accepted by the world’s different representatives is pretty inspiring, and Reeve and Hackman continue to elevate even the weakest of scripts), all of them belong in a far better film. As a kid, I was enthralled by the battle between Superman and Nuclear Man but as intimidating as Nuclear Man with his demonic voice (his declaration of “I am the father now” hints at the potential of him to be a significant threat) and own array of terrible superpowers, but he looks absolutely ridiculous in his little black-and-cold outfit and his menace is ultimately neutered with ludicrous ease (though I guess this makes sense and goes a long way to show how Luthor prepared for his “son’s” hostile impulses).

The Summary:
I mean…what can you say about Superman IV: The Quest for Peace that numerous others haven’t already said? The film’s been picked and critiqued and criticised to death and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone say a good thing about it beyond praising Reeve for maintaining a consistent portrayal of the Man of Steel. I think the one thing you can say about the film is that it’s probably a decent amount of fun for little kids who, if they’re anything like I was as a child, will be easily pleased by the bright colours, daft comedy, and fight scenes between Superman and Nuclear Man. Once you grow a old enough to recognise how cheap and lazy the film is, though, it’s hard to look past Superman IV’s glaring flaws. If there’s any concept that can’t be done on the cheap, it’s Superman, because the result is this; a whole mess of recycled, low-quality shots, poor special effects, and a lame rehash of concepts realised far better in even the third film. Ultimately, there’s a reason people avoid this film as it’s a pretty sad state of affairs to find the once-lucrative and ground-breaking franchise in and you should only check it out if you have kids to entertain or if you’ve got nothing better to watch and want to get drunk to a bunch of ridiculous nonsense.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

I don’t suppose you’re a fan of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace? I mean, probably not but it’s worth asking the question, right? What did you think to the focus on nuclear weapons and do you think Superman should tackle this issue more directly? Were you a fan of Nuclear Man and his ability to injure Superman? What did you think to the romantic sub-plot and the return of Gene Hackman to the franchise? How influential was Christopher Reeve’s turn as Superman on your perception of the character? Whatever your thoughts on Superman IV, and Superman in general, drop a comment below.

Talking Movies [Superman Month]: Superman III


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’m spending every Sunday of June celebrating the Man of Steel as I expand Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


Released: 17 June 1983
Director: Richard Lester
Distributor:
Warner Bros. / Columbia–EMI–Warner Distributors
Budget:
$39 million
Stars:
Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Robert Vaughn, Pamela Stephenson, and Annette O’Toole

The Plot:
Clark Kent (Reeve) returns to his hometown of Smallville and reunites with his old flame, Lana Lane (O’Toole). However, conniving industrialist Ross “Bubba” Webster (Vaughn) hatches a devious plot to control the world’s oil supply by corrupting Kent’s alter ego, Supermen, using the computer genius of bungling programmer Gus Gorman (Pryor).

The Background:
Although, as I mentioned in my reviews, both Superman (Donner, 1978) and Superman II (Lester, 1981) were critically and financially successful, their production had been not only expensive but also tumultuous; behind the scenes tensions between director Richard Donner and the film’s producers saw him replaced by Richard Lester despite having plans for a third film in the series. Development of a third film continued regardless, with both Vril Dox/Brainiac and Kara Zor-El/Supergirl considered as inclusions; elements of this story, which also featured Mister Mxyzptlk (as played by Dudley Moore) corrupting Superman, remained prevalent throughout the long scriptwriting process. By the time filming began, the production continued to be fraught with bad blood; both Margot Kidder and Gene Hackman had publicly opposed the treatment of Donner and were removed or significantly downgraded for the third film, which was much more focused on slapstick shenanigans. Nowhere was this emphasised more than in the casting of comedian Richard Pryor, who was paid $5 million for his substantial role after declaring his affection for the previous films. With a worldwide gross of barely over $80 million, Superman III was the least financially successful of the series at that point; the reviews were even worse, especially regarding Pryor’s tomfooleries (though Reeve’s consistent portrayal of the Man of Steel (and his turn as the corrupted Superman) continued to be praised).

The Review:
Despite the fact that I had some issues with the first two films, there’s no denying the quality on display in Superman and Superman II; even with all the behind-the-scenes shenanigans, both films have pretty much the perfect balance of action, romance, intrigue, and humour and never veer too far into one element or the other. This means that they both manage to deliver perhaps the most influential portrayal of the Man of Steel while also including just the right level of camp, with both of these aspects being bolstered by some truly impressive and ambitious special effects. Here, things largely proceed as you might expect; with the status quo restored following the memory-wiping kiss of the last film, Clark continues to pose as an awkward, mild-mannered reporter while exuding confidence and reliability as the charismatic Superman.

Clark returns to his home town, reconnects with old friends and earns the town’s adulation as Superman.

However, in a change from the last two films, Superman III sees Clark return to his hometown of Smallville for a high school reunion; there, he reconnects with old friend Lana Lang but continues to right wrongs with his superpowers. Crucially, this includes preventing a nearby chemical plant from a potentially disastrous meltdown, which earns the Man of Steel the adulation of the entire town. One aspect about the film that I really enjoy is seeing Superman interacting with ordinary civilians and emergency services more often; when approaching an emergency situation, Superman always defers to whoever is in charge before offering his assistance, which goes a long way to showing how polite and willing to collaborate with others he is and is a great parallel to his later turn towards the dark side. With Lois Lane (Margot Kidder) absent for the vast majority of the film thanks to an assignment in Bermuda, Lana fittingly takes over as Clark’s new love interest. A childhood friend and former flame of Clark’s, Lana is a struggling single mother to young Ricky (Paul Kaethler) who is constantly fending off the unwanted advances of the bullish borderline alcoholic Brad Wilson (Gavan O’Herlihy) and dreams of escaping the suffocating confines of Smallville. Though she’s maybe not quite as loud and feisty as Lois, Lana is a capable enough woman in her own right but still laments that she’s stuck without a husband since all the “good” men in Smallville are taken. Crucially, unlike her Metropolis counterpart, Lana’s far less besotted by Superman and is more appreciative and interested in Clark, whom she sees as a kind and caring alternative to the likes of Brad. Lana admires that Clark has made a life for himself out of Smallville and is grateful for his positive influence on Ricky, who is often shunned for being the only kid in town to not have a father, but there’s really not a whole much for her to do in terms of the film’s overall plot beyond be a pretty face for Clark to converse with and to ponder Superman’s later change of character.    

Webster is willing to do anything to add more power and wealth to his already-vast empire.

Also absent from the film is Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman); in his place is Ross Webster, a wealthy philanthropist who is, basically, a poorly veiled stand-in for Superman’s traditional archnemesis. Alongside his spiteful and cruel sister, Vera (Annie Ross), and the voluptuous Lorelei Ambrosia (Pamela Stephenson), Webster initially plots to avenge himself on the nation of Columbia after they refuse to do business with him but soon turns his attention towards the more profitable hording of oil, and makes destroying Superman his top priority after the Man of Steel interferes with his coffee plot. While Vera enables Webster’s ambitions and craves the acquisition of further power and influence (it’s her idea to target the oil, for example), Lorelei plays the part of an airheaded bimbo but is actually much smarter than she appears (it’s her idea to use Kryptonite against Superman). Unlike Luthor, who saw pitting his criminal genius against Superman as the ultimate challenge, Webster is largely dismissive of the Man of Steel and believes destroying him should be a simple task since they’re well aware of his weakness to Kryptonite. It can’t be understated how much Vaughn’s presence and allure elevates this film ever so slightly above mediocrity; thanks to him, Webster makes for a charismatic and manipulative villain. Webster is far more approachable and fair-minded than Luthor but no less dangerous and authoritative; he doesn’t care a lick for the lives he endangers with his schemes and is easily able to threaten and coerce the likes of Gus Gorman into doing his bidding thanks to the power and breadth of his wealth.

Sadly, the film is far too focused on Richard Pryor’s bombastic attempts at comedy.

That, of course, brings us to the ultimate underdog, Gus Gorman, who begins the film as an out-of-work buffoon who finds that he has a talent for computer programming when he lands a job at Webscoe. Gus is a greedy, bumbling fool who believes that the world owes him more than it’s given and who wants to enjoy life now, while he’s young. While it’s child’s play for him to embezzle Webscoe’s funds into his mediocre pay cheque, Gus immediately regrets this decision when he is brought before Webster; however, Webster is as impressed by Gus’s capabilities as he is despondent by the man’s foolishness. To get out of being locked up for this crimes, Gus agrees to redirect space satellites and oil tankers for the industrialist but soon comes to realise that his talents make Webster’s threats obsolete and thus demands that the villain fund and construct a giant super computer of Gus’ own design. A selfish and outlandish figure, Gus only realises the error of his ways when his supercomputer is perverted by Webster into a tool for killing Superman but, sadly, Gus mainly exists to flood the film with all kinds of ridiculous pratfalls; providing both physical comedy and outlandish, energetic rants that appear to be ad-libs on Pryor’s part, Gorman is like a living cartoon and sticks out like a sore thumb as the one buffoon in a film full of mostly straight men.  

Synthetic Kryptonite alters Superman’s demeanour and splits him into two beings!

When Webster orders that Superman be killed, he has Gus synthesise a chunk of Kryptonite but Gus is forced to make some compromises in the element’s construction due to its alien nature. The result is a green hunk of rock that, rather than weaken and kill Superman, affects him more like the red variant from the comics. Initially, Superman becomes distracted and disinterested in his usual duties, which causes him to arrive too late to help out in a minor disaster on a Smallville bridge. Pretty soon, though, he’s flying all over the world and causing all kinds of nuisances, such as straightening the Leaning Tower of Pisa (brought to life through the finest green screens money can buy…), blowing out the Olympic Flame, and gulping shots at the bar. Soon, his costume and demeanour noticeably change for the worst; he wears a constant scowl, sports dark stubble and darker eyes, and his suit takes on a muddier, subdued hue. After being sexually manipulated by Lorelei to cause an environmental crisis with one of Webster’s oil tankers, Superman has a violent breakdown in a junk yard and literally splits into two beings! This leads to a violent brawl between the virtuous Clark Kent and his aggressive doppelgänger that ultimately results in Clark emerging victorious and returning as the one, true Superman. It’s quite a bizarre sequence, to be sure, and is mostly hand-waved away but I can’t deny that the fight between the two is a real highlight of the film.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Right off the bat, Superman III shows us exactly what it’s all about: slapstick, goofball attempts at comedy. Skipping the traditional title sequence (though I swear this was included when I first saw the film on television…), the film opens with this convoluted series of pratfalls and accidents as the people of Metropolis get into all kinds of madcap hijinx. These elements are only exacerbated every time Pryor is onscreen and we’re treated to such delights as him acting out Superman’s impressive feats; rather than spending the money on showing Superman stopping a tornado, we get to hear Gus tell us about it while wearing a makeshift cape which, as entertaining as Pryor can be, is never going to be as enjoyable as actually watching these events happen onscreen. Instead, we get to see Gus flailing around like a fool, falling from the roof of Webster’s skyscraper without injury simply because he’s wearing skis, and him getting into all kinds of scrapes such as impersonating a military officer, jumping at his own reflection, going off on wild tangents in an attempt at humour, and drinking Brad into a stupor to access his company’s computer.

The effects are surprisingly decent and the evil Superman gives Reeve more chances to shine.

These comedic elements are a stark parallel to the film’s darker elements; seeing Superman go from a virtuous paragon of truth, justice, and the American Way to an apathetic and mean-spirited villain is perhaps the best element in this otherwise ludicrous film and really belongs in a far better Superman movie. The dark Superman really gives Christopher Reeve a chance to show his range as an actor and he spits his lines with a real venom and spite and seeing him relish in causing trouble and indulging in his vilest whims really helps the film to keep its head above water. While Superman’s rescue of the trapped chemical plant workers and his solution to freeze a nearby lake and drop it on the inferno is ambitious and impressive, other special effects don’t hold up so well, especially the rendition of technology. Overall, though, the film’s special effects remain largely consistent with those from the previous two films; there’s far more in-camera shots of Reeve being propelled across through the air on wires (though there are some instances where the wires are a little too visible…) and the flying effects, in general, actually hold up a little better than in Superman II, potentially because the film’s budget is being used to slightly better effect or not being stretched across two films that are spiralling out of control.

Despite the awesome power of Webster’s supercomputer, Superman is able to triumph through his wits.

One of the main themes of the film is that of the growing reliance on computers and technology, which is depicted as being both mysterious and capable of almost anything. With just a few taps of a keyboard and a swipe of a screen pen, Gus is able to make all kinds of ludicrous stuff happen, and the depiction of computer “hacking” horribly dates the film since we know that there’s no way that he’d be able to issue the commands he’s making without utilising proper code. Later, Gus is able to manually reprogram everything from traffic lights to cash machines to send the city into a frenzy, the severity of which is, again, played to cringeworthy comedic effect (the traffic light men even inexplicably get into a fist fight!) Finally, when Superman heads off to confront the villains, Webster manually sends a number of rockets and a large ballistic missile his way using a crude videogame-like interface. While Webster is, in many ways, exactly the same as Luthor except without the same level of personal animosity towards Superman, what helps bolster him and make him slightly more distinct are his sister and lover and his commission of Gus’s supercomputer. Just as the dark Superman is basically a version of Bizarro, this supercomputer is kind of like a dumbed-down interpretation of Brainiac; sure, it doesn’t speak, or look or act anything like Brainiac, but it’s clear that the finale has some roots in the popular villain. The machine is capable of analysing and counteracting with a person’s weaknesses when it feels threatened and is constantly adapting to combat threats; this includes trapping Superman in an odd plastic bubble (that, somehow, manages to choke him even though he doesn’t need to breathe…) and bombard him with pure Kryptonite. Seemingly gaining sentience through its battle with Superman, the computer turns on its creators and even transforms Vera into a cybernetic avatar in a truly horrific scene. Ultimately, Superman takes a page out of Luthor’s playbook and opts for mind over muscle by utilising a highly corrosive acidic substance to fool the machine into destroying itself. Since Gus tried, in his own way, to help Superman in the finale, Superman spares him imprisonment (a favour that Gus immediately squanders) and Kent sets Lana up at the Daily Planet, ending the film with a hint towards a rivalry between her and Lois over Clark’s affections that, sadly, would be completely ignored in the sequel.

The Summary:
Honestly, this is a hard one for me. I remember really enjoying this film as a kid because it’s not like we had superhero films coming out of our asses like we do these days; however, as so many have said on many occasions, Superman III can’t be seen as anything other than a massive disappointment. There are some positives to be found here, though: Robert Vaughn adds a great deal of gravitas to the film and Christopher Reeve continues to be excellent in the title role and Superman III gives him some fantastic moments to show new sides of his personality; the fight between him and his dark self remains a highlight of the film, it’s just a shame that it’s wedged into this unfortunate mess of a film. There’s so much potential in Superman III that is sadly never fully realised because it’s more focused on giving the late, great Richard Pryor a chance to practise his stand-up routine; had the filmmakers exercised some restraint and pulled back on some of Pryor’s more outlandish outbursts and scaled back the slapstick comedy, and maybe even gone all-in with the supercomputer to bring Brainiac to the screen then there might have been something here. As it is though, what we’re left with is a film that’s probably enjoyable enough for little kids but is a bit of a slog to sit through unless you’re a big Richard Pryor fan.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Superman III? What did you think to Richard Pryor’s inclusion in the film and his attempts at comedy? Did you enjoy the switch from Metropolis to Smallville and what did you think to Ross Webster as the film’s replacement for Lex Luthor? Were you a fan of the dark Superman sub-plot and the fight between him and Clark Kent or would you have preferred a more direct interpretation of Bizarro? What did you think to the themes of computer technology spiralling out of control? Where would you rank this film against Superman’s other live-action adaptations and how have you been celebrating the Man of Steel this month? Whatever your thoughts on Superman III, drop them down below and check out my review of the much-maligned fourth entry in the franchise.

Talking Movies [Superman Month]: Superman II


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’m spending every Sunday of June celebrating the Man of Steel as I expand Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


Released: 9 April 1981
Director: Richard Lester
Distributor:
Warner Bros. / Columbia–EMI–Warner Distributors
Budget:
$54 million
Stars:
Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Terence Stamp, Sarah Douglas, Jack O’Halloran, and Gene Hackman

The Plot:
Having thwarted Lex Luthor’s (Hackman) maniacal plans, Clark Kent/Superman (Reeve) faces a new challenge when intrepid reporter Lois Lane (Kidder) manages to deduce his secret identity. While Clark prepares to give up his incredible powers to be with Lois, General Zod (Stamp) and his two followers escape from the Phantom Zone and begin terrorising the planet, leading Clark to choose between his happiness and his responsibilities to mankind.

The Background:
As I detailed in my review of Superman (Donner, 1978), producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind and Pierre Spengler convinced Warner Bros. to produce a two-film adaptation of the character back in the late seventies. However, the production was fraught with issues, both financially and creatively; director Richard Donner frequently clashed with the producers and Richard Lester was brought in as a mediator to allow the filmmakers to focus on the first film, which was a financial and critical success. Despite having shot 75% of the sequel, Donner was replaced as director with Richard Lester, a decision that irked star Gene Hackman so much that he refused to return for the necessary reshoots. Lester shot an entirely new opening for Superman II in addition to making numerous changes to the tone of Donner’s original version to place more emphasis on slapstick silliness. Star Christopher Reeve returned to the project after negotiating a better deal with more artistic control for himself but Marlon Brando was excised completely from the film due to his unrealistic financial demands. Despite all the behind the scenes turmoil, Superman II was still a financial success; its worldwide box office gross of just over $190 million might’ve been less than its predecessor but it was still highly praised, with Stamp’s turn as Zod drawing particular acclaim. Many years later, of course, in the build-up to Superman Returns (Singer, 2008), Donner would finally return to the film to assemble a version that closely resembled his original vision of the film.

The Review:
As far as I can remember, Superman II is another of those instances where I actually saw the sequel before the original; consequently, the film had much more of an impact on my childhood and I remember being more entertained by it thanks to it having a far brisker, more action-orientated flow and featuring villains who could actually match Superman in combat rather than simply just outwitting him. Not that I have a problem with the “mind over muscle” concept, it’s just far more gratifying to me to see Superman getting into a superpowered scrap as Superman II definitely delivers in that regard. Thankfully, for those who haven’t seen the first film, the movie opens with both a quick recap of the first movie over the opening credits and a return to Krypton to show exactly how General Zod, Ursa (Douglas), and Non (O’Halloran) got themselves banished to the mysterious “Phantom Zone”. Basically, they broke into one of the Kryptonian council’s crystal chambers and destroyed one of their fancy little crystals; since Jor-El (Marlon Brando) is entirely absent from this film, the three are sentenced and imprisoned by the nameless Kryptonian council yet, as they’re being thrust into the void of space in their mirror prison, Zod vows revenge upon Superman’s birth father regardless.

Lois begins to suspect that mild-mannered Clark Kent isn’t all that he seems…

The film then picks up shortly after the events of the last film to find the Eiffel Tower overtaken by terrorists who are holding a bunch of people hostage and threatening to detonate a hydrogen bomb if their demands aren’t met. Being the feisty, fearless reporter that she is, obviously Lois Lane is right in the middle of the story and her boldness leaves her in danger of being killed; thankfully, Superman is again on hand to save her and disposes of the bomb-filled elevator by tossing it into space and unknowingly releasing the three Kryptonian criminals form their prison. Still playing the part of the lovable, bumbling goofball, Clark stumbles his way through his assignment with Lois in Niagara Falls but, after springing into action to save a young boy from a fatal fall into the waters, Lois’ suspicions are raised to the point where she willingly puts herself in danger in order to prove that the two are one and the same.

Luthor escapes from prisons, learns Superman’s secrets, and forges a fragile alliance with Zod.

Despite being arrested and locked up at the end of the first film, Lex Luthor (Hackman), the self-proclaimed greatest criminal mind of all time, quickly breaks his way out of prison with the help of a holographic projector of his own making and the assistance of Eve Teschmacher (Valerie Perrine), thankfully leaving the bumbling Otis (Ned Beatty) behind. Not only does Luthor now largely sport his traditional bald head, he also has a far better plan than simple real estate; having deduced that Superman has a tendency to travel north, he tracks the Man of Steel and discovers his Fortress of Solitude, boning up on the three Kryptonian criminals and using this knowledge to charm his way into General Zod’s good graces. There’s something disconcerting about seeing Luthor in the Fortress of Solitude and poking around in his private archives and materials; although Luthor doesn’t learn that Clark Kent is Superman from this excursion, he learns more than enough to be able to barter with General Zod and spare him from the Kryptonian’s unending wrath in exchange for being able to rule over Australia after the three Kryptonians consolidate their control over the entire world.

Led by power-hungry Zod, the Kryptonian criminals quickly claim dominion over the world.

Still, even Luthor is fearful of his new tentative allies; Zod, a verbose egomaniac who craves power and acknowledgement, strikes fear into the hearts of those around him with not only his sadistic and cold-hearted demeanour but also his inclination to fly into an intense rage when his power is defied. The alluring and callous Ursa revels in causing destruction and acquiring new badges and trinkets for her uniform, while the imposing brute Non is as childlike as he is silent and literally follows his General’s orders without question. The three quickly discover and reveal in the superhuman powers afforded by the Earth’s yellow sun, which immediately grants them all of Superman’s powers but with none of his moral compass. They start small, toying with a group of astronauts on the Moon and terrorising a small town in the United States before identifying where the true power of the U.S. lies and laying seize on the White House in a harrowing scene where he forces the President of the United States (E.G. Marshall) to transfer all control to their General.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Of course, it’s difficult to talk about Superman II without addressing some of the film’s more ridiculous aspects; Otis might not be around but his status as the comic relief is usurped by Non’s infantile nature. While things quickly take a turn for the dramatic when Zod steps in out of boredom, it’s initially played for laughs when the three are causing trouble in Houston; similarly, when the three are terrorising Metropolis to goad Superman into a conflict, there’s an awful lot of slapstick and tomfoolery for what is meant to be an imposing scene. And let’s not forget the outrageous superpowers introduced in the film; while traditional Kryptonian powers like heat vision, super breath, and freeze breath are all on display to great effect when the three are causing destruction and fighting with Superman, there’s all kinds of crazy stuff added to the film. Zod is somehow able to levitate objects with a point of his finger, the three of them deface Mount Rushmore by simply blasting it, all four Kryptonians are all able to duplicate themselves in the finale (which I can only assume was originally supposed to be some kind of depiction of superspeed that was limited by the technology of the time), and don’t even get me started on Superman’s weird s-shield attack-thing! Yet, as mental as all of this, it’s actually nowhere near as insane as some of the stuff Superman was doing in the comic books at the time!

Superman willing gives up his powers to be with Lois.

While a romantic element was present in the first film (and gave us the God awful cringey scene of Superman and Lois flying together), it’s far more prominent here. Although Clark is able to momentarily quash Lois’s suspicions about him, his dual nature is ultimately revealed after an accidental stumble. Of course, bearing in mind that Clark is clearly besotted with Lois and was tempted to reveal himself to her in the first film, both Clark and Lois suggest that this was anything but an accident and that Clark subconsciously wanted Lois to learn the truth and made sure that it happened. Regardless, the two embark on a romantic tryst that sees Clark focus on her above all other concerns. Busy wooing her with flowers and food from the far corners of the world at his Fortress, Superman ignores the chaos caused by General Zod and his subordinates and makes the ultimate sacrifice when the consciousness/artificial intelligence of is mother, Lara (Susannah York), dictates that to live with a mortal, he must live as a mortal.

Superman immediately has to reclaim his powers to stop the Kryptonian criminals.

This wrinkle, which results in the destruction of the main control console in the Fortress, goes a long way to showing just how serious Clark is about his love for Lois; indeed, he willingly gives up all of his superpowers just to be with her despite the fact he can hear that people are pleading for his intervention. Clark’s adjustment to mortal life is a tough one; almost immediately, he feels the fatigue and pains of us normal folk and runs afoul of mouthy trucker Rocky (Pepper Martin). Humbled and humiliated, Clark is horrified to find that Zod has taken control of the world and immediately journeys back to the Fortress (from what looks like Canada…because I guess there’s a direct road from Canada to the Arctic now?) in a desperate bid to regain his powers. Although the Fortress appears dead and his father Jor-El doesn’t answer his son’s desperate plea, Clark finds the green crystal that birthed the Fortress and this, somehow, restores his powers. Although this whole sequence is a little sloppy, mainly thanks to the way the film was cut up and re-edited from Donner’s original version, I can’t say that I was ever really a fan of it; we’ve seen in the comics, and other adaptations, that Superman is fully capable of being in a relationship with Lois without having to give up his powers and it seems like this aspect was only included to give some humanity to the all-power Man of Steel. One part of it that does work for me was the emphasis on Lara; since Jor-El is entirely absent, Lara’s importance is greatly increased and makes Superman II an interesting companion piece to the first film by placing the focus on his mother rather than his father.

It’s clear the budget was stretched to its limit to depict a brawl between the four superpowered characters.

Armed with Luthor’s knowledge of Superman’s true heritage and affinity for Lois Lane, Zod, who quickly grows bored of having absolute power, relishes the opportunity to exact his revenge upon Jor-El’s progeny. To this end, the three ransack the Daily Planet and then cause destruction in downtown Metropolis in entertaining scenes of devastation that were certainly ambitious and in stark contrast to the first film’s slower, more subdued tone. It’s clear that the budget is being pushed to its limits to show all four characters flying and fighting in the skies and streets of Metropolis and, while the special effects and the quality of the fight does suffer a bit as a result (there’s a lot of awkward standing around, posturing, and slow, easily telegraphed attacks on show), it’s still a commendable effort for the time. Crucially, Superman goes out of his way to draw the fight away from the city and to save lives rather than mindlessly ploughing his opponents through buildings and causing as much damage as the film’s villains, which goes a long way to emphasising Superman’s selfless and heroic nature (something that arguably needed to be reinforced after he seemed to abandon his responsibilities in favour of getting laid).

Superman turns the tide on his foes but is forced to erased Lois’s memory of his dual nature.

Although the three have the numbers advantage, and are clearly better fighters than he, Superman manages to hold his own but, realising that continuing the fight would only endanger further lives (despite the commendable spirit of the Metropolis citizens in their willingness to stand up to the three after Superman appears to be killed), he flees from the city and lures them to his Fortress for a final showdown. The three are led their by Luthor with Lois as their hostage; when Zod declares that Luthor has outlived his usefulness, the criminal mastermind attempts to double-cross Superman in order to regain favour with the General and, in the process, unwittingly plays right into Superman’s plan. Having reversed the molecule chamber so that Krypton’s red sun rays erase the three’s powers, Superman and Lois are easily able to best their foes and send them hurtling to their deaths. However, in the aftermath, Clark and Lois split up since Superman can’t prioritise one life over the lives of the world and, to spare his love further pain from the burden of knowledge, Superman busts out another new power: the ability to erase minds with a kiss. With Luthor back in prison, the Earth saved, and the status quo restored, Superman promises the President that he’ll never abandon his responsibilities again and heads off for his victory lap.

The Summary:
When I was a kid, I absolutely loved this film; it was probably the closest and most accurate depiction of a live-action Superman I had seen and definitely set a high standard for superhero movies in general for its mixture of heart, action, and comedy. Even now, thanks to the ambitious and impressive special effects, the film holds up surprisingly well; once again, it’s the performances that help bolster the film, with Terrence Stamp putting in a scene-stealing turn as General Zod. The inclusion of three evil Kryptonians to match Superman blow-for-blow was a great way to raise the stakes from the first film and Superman II definitely builds upon the themes and standards of the first film. While I still have a lot of affection for Superman II and definitely prefer it to the first movie, it’s difficult for me to rate it much higher as there are a number of aspects of Superman II that don’t sit too well with me. The same can be said of the first film, and the rest in the series, but I’m still a little baffled by the idea of stripping Superman of his powers and then immediately restoring them and the absurd memory erasing kiss that is almost as preposterous as Superman turning back time at the finale of the first film. Still, it’s easily the best film out of the original four for me and, crazy superpowers aside, deserves to be rated as being at least on par with the influential original and is well worth a watch of only for Stamp’s iconic performance and the battle between Superman and his Kryptonian adversaries.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What are your thoughts on Superman II? Did you feel like it measured up to the first film or do you perhaps consider it to be superior, or inferior? What did you think to the introduction of more physically capable villains for Superman to fight and were you a fan of Terrence Stamp’s performance as General Zod? What did you think to Superman sacrificing his powers for Lois and then erasing her mind with a kiss? Do you prefer the theatrical cut of the film or do you think the Donner Cut is the superior version? What is your favourite Superman story, character, or piece of media? How are you planning to celebrate Superman Day today? Whatever you think, feel free to share your opinion and thoughts on Superman in the comments below.

Talking Movies [Superman Month]: Superman


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’ll be spending every Sunday of June celebrating the Man of Steel as I expand Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


Released: 14 December 1978
Director: Richard Donner
Distributor:
Warner Bros. / Columbia–EMI–Warner Distributors
Budget:
$55 million
Stars:
Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder, Valerie Perrine, and Marlon Brando

The Plot:
In the dying moments of the planet Krypton, scientist Jor-El (Brando) rockets his son away to Earth. After learning of his alien origins and discovering the limits of the fantastic superhuman powers afforded him by Earth’s yellow sun, the now-adult Clark Kent (Reeve) assumes the costume identity of “Superman” while disguising himself as a mild-mannered reporter. However, he faces his greatest test when genius criminal mastermind Lex Luthor (Hackman) hatches a plot to cause devastating earthquakes west of the San Andreas Fault.

The Background:
In the years since his dramatic debut, Superman quickly became the subject of numerous adaptations and his 1940 radio drama even introduced many aspects that became synonymous with the character. The idea of a feature-length Superman film was first conceived of by producer Ilya Salkind in 1973; entering into a partnership with his father, Alexander, and Pierre Spengler, the filmmakers were able to convince Warner Bros. to produce a two-film adaptation of the character and paid screenwriter Mario Puzo (of Godfather (ibid, 1969/Coppola, 1972) fame) $600,000 to write the screenplay. Steven Spielberg was courted to direct but was unable to commit and, while Guy Hamilton was attached to the project, the producers eventually settled on Richard Donner, who immediately ditched the campy tone of Puzo’s 400-plus-page script. The first actor signed to the film was Marlon Brando (who had some pretty funny ideas about Jor-El’s appearance and characterisation and had a lackadaisical attitude towards the film) and Oscar winner Gene Hackman soon followed, with the two receiving top billing.

Superman’s early adaptations had a profound influence on the character for decades.

Many notable names were considered for the title role before relative-unknown Christopher Reeve was cast after a laborious casting process. Having bulked up for the role, Reeve’s experience as a pilot paid off when performing the film’s complex flying sequences, which were achieved through a combination of green screens, wire work, and other camera tricks while the striking Kryptonian suits were the result of a happy accident with a reflective material. Very quickly, the film’s budget ballooned and filming began to over-run, causing tensions between Donner and the producers; Richard Lester was brought on board as a mediator and work on the sequel halted to concentrate on the first film. After several delays, Superman (also marketed as Superman: The Movie) released to rave reviews and was an incredible financial success, making over $300 million. Although the producers continued production of the sequel immediately, the damage was done and Donner did not return, necessitating a series of expensive reshoots and raising the ire of many of the film’s actors. Still, the first film was an incredible achievement, massively influential on Superman’s comic books, and was eventually preserved in the United States Library of Congress National Film Registry.

The Review:
Superman begins, as most Superman origin stories do, on the far away world of Krypton (or “Krypt’n”, if you’re Marlon Brando), a technologically advanced civilisation that inhabits a largely barren, crystalline world. In a fantastic seed for the sequel, Jor-El sentences three seditious criminals – Non (Jack O’Halloran), Ursa (Sarah Douglas), and their leader, General Zod (Terence Stamp) – to the mysterious “Phantom Zone” for their treasonous and destructive efforts to usurp the Kryptonian council and subjugate the world to Zod’s will. Defiant to the last, Zod vows to avenge himself upon Jor-El and his heirs, no matter how long it takes and against all odds, before the three are cast into the strange mirror prison. Following this, Jor-El is unable to convince the council that Krypton is doomed to be destroyed by its red giant sun within thirty days; indeed, despite being a highly respected and rational member of the council, Jor-El’s claims are so adamantly refuted that he is threatened with being labelled a terrorist himself.

Unable to save his planet, Jor-El sends his infant son to Earth, where he gains awesome powers.

Apparently despondent (it’s hard to tell with Brando…), Jor-El resigns himself to ensuring the survival of his young son, Kal-El; his wife, Lara (Susannah York), laments that their son will forever be an outcast amongst the “primitives” of Earth but Jor-El remains confident that the powers bestowed upon Kal-El by Earth’s yellow sun will make him a symbol of hope and afford him physical advantages beyond all known understanding. As Krypton shatters around them, the baby is rocketed away and, guided by his father’s voice, slowly grows into an infant within his escape craft; Jor-El, who encoded all of his knowledge and wisdom into the crystalline form of the ship, stresses that his son is “forbidden” to interfere in Earth’s history and instead let his example inspire others. In time, many thousands of years after Krypton’s destruction, the ship crash lands on Earth and is stumbled upon by kindly, elderly couple Jonathan (Glenn Ford) and Martha Kent (Phyllis Thaxter) who are awestruck by the child’s super strength and, despite Jonathan’s concerns, take him in as their own.

After losing his adopted father, Clark learns the extent of his powers and reveals himself to the world.

About fifteen years later, the boy has grown into well-meaning teenager Clark Kent (Jeff East, with Christopher Reeve dubbing his voice); though Clark is frustrated that he has to hide his physical capabilities from the world, Jonathan stresses that the boy was sent to them (and the world) for a greater reason than to simply score touchdowns or show off to the other kids. As he just wants to make his parents proud, Clark takes his father’s advice to heart but is left utterly heartbroken when Jonathan suffers a fatal heart attack. At his graveside, a devastated Clark laments that his awesome powers were ultimately useless in saving his father and thus learns a valuable lesson about the limits of his superhuman abilities. Drawn to the remains of his ship (which the Kents kept hidden in their barn), Clark discovers a glowing green crystal that leads him far north, all the way to the Arctic, where the crystal births a piece of his home planet on Earth. In this Fortress of Solitude, Clark communes with the spirit of his father, who lives on as a glorified artificial intelligence, and spends a further twelve years absorbing all of Jor-El’s knowledge and teachings of his newfound abilities. After his training is completed, Clark emerges as Christopher Reeve and garbed in a bright Kryptonian costume and ready to share his abilities with the world as Superman.

Clark poses as a mild-mannered reporter, which allows Superman to captivate Lois.

Clark sets himself up as a reporter at the Daily Planet (apparently it’s as easy as being able to type incredibly fast and being overly polite), meeting hot-tempered editor-in-chief Perry White (Jackie Cooper), enthusiastic young photographer Jimmy Olsen (Marc McClure), and feisty reporter Lois Lane (Kidder). Despite her inability to spell, Lois is a lively and fearless journalist and, consequently, she both despairs of Clark’s overly friendly nature and sees him as a bit of a dorky milksop and finds her curiosity sparked by some of his oddities. In comparison, Lois is immediately captivated by Superman when he not only catches her in mid-air as she’s plummeting to her death but also snags the helicopter she was falling from. Enamoured by his mystery, confidence, and the seemingly limitless superhuman abilities he possesses, her normally controlled and forthright demeanour is shattered and she’s left absolutely awestruck during (and following) her exclusive interview with the Man of Steel (where she names him and he also, curiously, divulges a number of secrets about himself that later come back to bite him in the ass).  

The maniacal Lex Luthor plots to destroy Superman in his quest to profit from real estate.

The villain of the piece, the enthralling Lex Luthor, has set up an impressive hideout beneath the city streets; there, protected by a series of cameras and deadly booby traps, he surrounds himself with the dim-witted Otis (Ned Beatty) and sexy but cynical Eve Teschmacher (Valerie Perrine). Egotistical and arrogant in his intellect, Luthor sees himself as the world’s greatest criminal mind and is busy planning the crime of the century, which involves the acquisition of seemingly worthless land and profiting from it by causing a cataclysmic flood, endangering and ending countless lives in the process. Luthor immediately surmises that Superman is not of this Earth and relishes the opportunity to pit himself against the Man of Steel, and to both prove his intellectual superiority over him and destroy the very virtues that Superman stands for, seeing the Man of Steel as the ultimate challenge for his self-proclaimed criminal genius.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Of course, you can’t really talk about Superman without mentioning John Williams’ bombastic and immediately iconic “Superman” theme that is rendered in full glory over the opening credits. While this theme has become so synonymous with the character that no composer or filmmaker since has come close to crafting a more suitable melody for the Man of Steel, I continue to be baffled by the absolutely cringe-worthy “Can You Read my Mind?” sequence. Like, I get it; it’s supposed to be this big romantic moment between the Lois and Superman and to showcase the film’s wirework, but it stands out like a sore thumb and is all kinds of different flavours of cheese.

While Reeve set the standard for Clark/Superman some of the other performances are a bit hit and miss.

If I’m being brutally honest, the film’s performances are a bit hit and miss; despite being a relative unknown, Reeve provides the quintessential portrayal of Superman and simply exudes confidence and sociability as Superman while masking his true nature as loveable, bumbling fool. Indeed, by simply straightening his posture and slightly altering his voice, Reeve effortlessly depicts the simple differences between his two persona and his performance so explicitly set the standard for the character that it continues to be emulated to this day. Once the story shifts to Metropolis, the film becomes a much more vivid and over-the-top production that emphasises buffoonery and comic book camp; nobody embodies this more than the bumbling Otis, who is mostly here for comic relief, but there’s also the suggestion that Luthor socialises with cretins simply to have someone to lord over. While Beatty and Cooper seem to have stepped out of a pantomime for their roles as the goofy Otis and bombastic Mr. White, respectively, Hackman brings a certain gravitas to the film that perfectly walks a fine line between camp and severe. Hackman seems to be enjoying himself in the role and commands every scene and room that he’s in; though he lacks Luthor’s bald head, he sports a variety of wigs and exudes a sadistic menace in his willingness to kill millions of innocent people in his quest for power, profit, and to have his matchless intelligence recognised by the world.

While some effects don’t hold up well, they’re all very ambitious and impressive for the time.

Obviously, you have to expect that some of the effects aren’t as impressive and haven’t aged as well as others, as ambitious as they are; the Arctic is clearly a set like something out of Star Trek (1966 to 1969) and I can only assume that Krypton is so barren and lifeless because it was cheaper and easier (though it also makes it cold and alien and a stark contrast to our lush world). The young Clark’s running effect and a number of the rear-projection and miniature shots leave a lot to be desired and almost every skyline appears to simply be a gigantic matte painting as the film is heavily reliant upon impressive sets the likes of which are akin to a James Bond film. While Clark’s super fast changes to Superman and his little spin down into Luthor’s lair aren’t that great, easily the weakest effects come in the conclusion as the San Andreas Fault is ruptured and painstakingly crafted models are washed away by water and dirt before Superman circles the globe at superspeed. To be fair, though, the film’s effects are still incredibly impressive; the helicopter sequence is an ambitious and remarkable composite of miniatures, rear-projection, and live-action wire work that makes for a suitable debut for the Man of Steel and, overall, the film has largely stood the test of time thanks to its practical effects and undeniable charm. As you might expect, Superman’s powers and abilities are the highlight of the film; Superman’s invulnerability, super strength, and superspeed are all accounted for and realised well enough and Superman’s first night on duty provides a great showcase of what he is capable of. No job is too big or too small for Superman, who does everything from rescuing a cat from a tree to apprehending jewel thieves as they clamber up the outside of buildings using sucker pads.

Superman comes up with a unique solution to save the day.

Naturally, it’s the flying sequences that are the true spectacle of the film; even now, the rear-projection holds up pretty well in these scenes but what really sells it is Reeve’s dynamic and believably movements. Reeve banks and turns with an elegant grace and really sells the illusion that we’re seeing a man fly and makes even the most ridiculous aspects of the film (from the 100% comic-accurate suit to using his own body to repair a broken train track to repairing the San Andreas Fault by ploughing through questionable-looking magma) seem entirely plausible thanks to his charming smile and undeniable charisma. Of course, when talking about Superman, you have address the ending. Thanks to acquiring a chunk of Kryptonite, Luthor is able to weaken and cause incredible agony to Superman and it is only thanks to Ms. Teschmacher’s change of heart that he’s able to recoup his strength and intercept Luthor’s missiles. However, while he’s able to stop one, he’s unable to keep the other from striking the San Andreas Fault and is so busy repairing the damage it causes that he’s unable to save Lois from being crushed to death by debris. Devastated and overcome with grief, Superman flies into the upper atmosphere and defies his birth father’s warnings of interfering in human history to favour his adopted father’s advice and is able to literally turn back time by reversing the rotation of the planet. This undoes all of the damage caused by Luthor’s missiles and prevents Lois’s death but remains the most ludicrous aspect of the entire movie and just ends up raising all kinds of questions like…wouldn’t there be two Superman? Why doesn’t he just turn back time all the time? Ultimately, it’s just one of those crazy, over-powered feats that we’ve come to expect from older versions of Superman and I guess it works to show that Superman is capable of overcoming even his limits by pushing hard enough (plus, Reeve’s anguished cry does make for an incredibly intense scene).

The Summary:
I honestly went into Superman ready to give it a lower score of two stars; it’s never really been my favourite superhero, or Superman, film as it’s just got a little too much cheese and cringe in it for my tastes. There’s an undeniable level of camp at work in the film that makes it very cartoony and over-the-top in places, to say nothing of long, oddly paced inclusions that seem decidedly at odds with the rest of the film. However, all of these elements are in perfect balance with the film’s more dramatic and spectacular sequences; this is a film that is, primarily, a showcase of ambitious and trend-setting cinematic techniques as much as it is perhaps the most influential interpretation of Superman ever seen outside of the comic books. While not every effect has aged too well, the majority have stood the test of time remarkably well and there’s just the right balance of goofy comedy, heart-warming charm, and exciting spectacle that simply scream “Superman”, a character who is often characterised as being the world’s biggest Boy Scout and embodying timeless (if slightly antiquated) ideals. There’s no denying that Superman is an absolute classic; while I cannot sanction Marlon Brando’s attitude and I may not be a fan of some of Donner’s choices (Luthor being a real estate maniac, the barren depiction of Krypton, and the time travel ending are all cons of the film for me), Superman remains a delightful and enjoyable little slice of camp goodness that is worth it for Reeve’s incredible and career-making turn in the title role if nothing else.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Superman? What did you think to Christopher Reeve’s portrayal of the character and were you a fan of Lex Luthor’s interpretation in the film? How influential was Donner’s film on your perception of Superman and are there any aspects you would prefer to see films and media move away from? What did you think to the film’s campier elements and were you a fan of the ending? What is your favourite Superman story, character, or piece of media? How are you planning to celebrate Superman Day next week? Whatever you think, feel free to share your opinion and thoughts on Superman in the comments below.

Game Corner [Crossover Crisis]: Injustice: Gods Among Us (Xbox 360)


In April of 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking, twelve issue Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1986) was published. This event, which was easily the biggest in DC Comics at that point (and for many years), saw the destruction of the “Multiverse”, an infinite number of parallel worlds, and the awkward establishing of one unified DC canon. Over the years, DC have returned to this concept again and again, retconning it, expanding upon it, and milking it to the point of excess but that doesn’t change how influential this massive crossover was. To celebrate this momentous event, I’ll be taking a look at multiversal crossovers every Wednesday in April in an event I’m calling “Crossover Crisis”.


Released: 16 April 2013
Developer: NetherRealm Studios
Also Available For: Arcade, Mobile, PC, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, PlayStation Vita, Xbox One and Xbox Series One X/S (Backwards Compatible), Wii U

The Background:
When it was first released, Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992) was a phenomenal success for Midway because of its focus on gore and violence, and it offered some real competition for Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Capcom, 1991) in arcades and on home consoles. For a time, the series seemed unstoppable during the 2D era of gaming but struggled to find a footing in the emerging 3D fighter arena and Mortal Kombat seemed to be in jeopardy after Midway went bankrupt in 2010. The main reason for this was the poor reception of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (Midway Games, 2008), the first collaboration between Midway’s Mortal Kombat and the DC Comics characters owned by Warner Bros. Interactive, which was hampered by age-related restrictions. Luckily, Warner Bros. Interactive stepped in and the team, now rebranded to NetherRealm Studios, immediately set about getting their violent franchise back on track; Mortal Kombat (NetherRealm Studios, 2011) was subsequently very well-received for its “back to basics” approach and, bolstered by the reboot’s success and eager to take advantage of the vast library of characters of their parent company, NetherRealm Studios sought to expand upon the game’s mechanics with a new, all-DC brawler. Although the game wasn’t as bloody and violent as its sister series, Injustice: Gods Among Us was a massive critical and commercial success that was followed up by not only a bunch of additional fighters and skins added as downloadable content (DLC) but also a sequel in 2017 and a critically-acclaimed comic book series.

The Plot:
In an alternate reality, Clark Kent/Superman has become a tyrant and established a new world order after the Joker tricked him into killing Lois Lane before destroying Metropolis with a nuclear bomb. In an effort to stop him, Bruce Wayne/Batman summons counterparts of the Justice League’s members from another universe to join his insurgency and end the totalitarian regime that threatens to subjugate the entire world.

Gameplay:
Just like Mortal Kombat, Injustice: Gods Among Us is a 2.5D fighting game; however, this time you’re able to select one of twenty-four characters from the DC Universe and battle it out in the game’s single-player story mode, one-on-one against another player or computer-controlled opponent (both on- and offline), tackle numerous arcade-style ladders, or take on character-specific missions in Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (S.T.A.R. Labs) training scenarios. Just as you’d expect from a Mortal Kombat videogame, Injustice’s fights take place in a best-of-three format (although there are no longer announcements or screen text between each round) and against a time limit, though you can alter these settings (and many others, such as the game’s difficulty) to your heart’s desire in the game’s options to suit your playstyle.

Attack with strikes, grapples, and combos to pummel a number of DC’s most recognisable characters.

If you’ve played the Mortal Kombat reboot then you’ll be immediately familiar with this game’s fighting mechanics and controls, although there are subtle differences: X, Y, and A are assigned to light, medium, and heavy strikes, for example, and may be either punches, kicks, or weapon-based melee attacks depending on which character you’re playing as. You can still grapple and throw your opponent with the Left Bumper (or X and Y and a directional input), dash towards or away from the opponent with a double tap of the directional pad (D-Pad), but now you must hold back on the D-Pad while standing or crouching to block, which can make blocking a bit trickier as sometimes you’ll simply walk or dash backwards when trying to block. If your opponent is crouch-blocking, you can land an attack by pressing towards and A for an Overhead Attack, and string together light, medium, and heavy attacks with directional inputs and your various special moves to pull off quick and easy combos. As is the standard for NetherRealm Studios’ releases these days, you can practise the game’s controls and mechanics as often as you like and take part in a very user-friendly tutorial to learn the basics of the game’s simple, but increasingly complex, fighting mechanics. You can also view your character’s moves, combos, special attacks, and “Character Power” from the pause menu at any time, allowing you to also see a range of information (such as where and how to pull of certain moves, the damage they inflict, and frame data).

Utilise Character Powers and the always-annoying Clash Breakers to whittle down your foe.

Each character has a range of special attacks that are unique to them; these mostly consist of certain projectiles or grapples and strikes but can also include various buffs for your character or to slow down your opponent. Each character also has a specific Character Power that is performed by pressing B; this sees Batman summon and attack with a swarm of bats, Oliver Queen/Green Arrow fire different trick arrows at his opponent, Doctor Harleen Quinzel/Harley Quinn gain various random buffs, and allows characters like Diana Prince/Wonder Woman and Rachel Roth/Raven to switch between different fighting styles and thus access different special attacks. While some Character Powers have a cool-down period, others don’t, but they can also be detrimental to you; for example, Slade Wilson/Deathstroke can briefly give his shots perfect aim but, once the Character Power is expended, he’ll miss every shot until it refills. Another new addition to the game is the annoying “Wager” system; when the Super Meter is filled up by two bars, you can press towards and RT when blocking an attack to play a quick mini game where you and your opponent select how much of your Super Meter to gamble. If you win, you’ll regain some health; if you lose, the opponent regains health; and if you tie then you both lose. Personally, if find these “Clash Breakers” even more annoying than the usual “Breakers” seen in the modern Mortal Kombat games as I never win them and they generally just unnecessarily prolong a fight (and, even worse, there’s no option to turn them off).

Different characters attack and interact in different ways according to their strengths.

In a bridge between the differing character movesets of Mortal Kombat and the “Variation” mechanic seen in Mortal Kombat X (NetherRealm Studios, 2013), Injustice features a limited “Class” system whereby characters are split into two camps: Gadget- or Power-class characters. Gadget characters are generally smaller, faster, and rely on various tricks and weapons in fights while Power-class characters are typically bigger, often slower, and rely more on brute strength. One of the main ways you’ll notice the difference between playing as, say, Barry Allen/The Flash and Cyrus Gold/Solomon Grundy is that they interact with the game’s fighting stages in different ways. As in Mortal Kombat X, you can press the Right Bumper when indicated to use (or attack your opponent with) various environmental hazards, such as firing missiles at them or knocking them into the background. But, whereas Superman will wrench a car out of the air and slam it on his opponent, someone like Dick Grayson/Nightwing will rig the same car to explode or somersault off the environment to get behind their foe rather than try to crush them with a wall.

In addition to powerful Super moves, you can bash your foe into new areas using stage transitions.

As you might naturally expect, there are no Fatalities or gruesome finishing moves in Injustice (not even “Heroic Brutalities”). However, when your Super Meter is full, you can still press LT and RT together to pull off a devastating Super Move; while you won’t see bones breaking and organs shattering like in Mortal Kombat’s X-Ray Moves, it’s still pretty fun to see Hal Jordan/Green Lantern transport his opponent to Oa to pummel them with his constructs, Ares shower his foe with arrows and stamp on them while grown to gigantic proportions, Arthur Curry/Aquaman force his enemy into the jaws of a ferocious shark, and Bane demolish his opposition with a series of throws and grapples, culminating in his iconic backbreaker. Another way the game separates itself from Mortal Kombat is stage transitions; when near the far edge of certain stages, you can hold back and A to wallop your opponent through the wall or off into the background where they’ll be smashed up, down, or across to an entirely new area of the stage which often allows more stage interactions and new stage transitions available for your use.

The story involves multiverse shenanigans against corrupted heroes and features some QTEs.

You might wonder exactly how someone like Louise Lincoln/Killer Frost can survive being blasting through the brick walls of Wayne Manor or go toe-to-toe with the likes of Doomsday but the game’s entertaining story mode explains that, on this alternative world, the tyrant-like Superman has developed special pills that bestow superhuman strength and dexterity to his generals. As is also the standard in NetherRealm’s titles, the story mode is broken down into twelve character-specific chapters, which is again a great way to experience a wide variety of the game’s roster (though Batman does feature as a playable character in two chapters, which seems a bit lazy). You can replay any chapter and fight you’ve cleared at any time, which is great, and skip through the cutscenes after they’ve loaded a bit, and the story mode isn’t all constant fighting either as you’re asked to pull off a handful of quick-time events (QTEs) at various points, such as blasting cars with Superman’s heat vision. The story is a fairly standard multiverse tale of the main canon heroes fighting against their corrupted or misled counterparts but it’s pretty fun and easy to blast through in no time at all.

Fight to earn XP and level-up, unlock additional perks and modes, and take on a series of challenges.

Every time you win a fight, you’ll earn experience points (XP) that will eventually level-up your character profile. This, and performing a certain number of specific attacks, playing through the story mode, and tackling the game’s other modes and mechanics, unlocks icons and backgrounds for your profile card as well as additional skins in certain circumstances. You’ll also be awarded “Armour Keys” and “Access Cards” to spend in the “Archives”, which allows you to unlock concept art, music, more skins, and certain boosts that will increase how much XP you earn, to name just one example. Like in Mortal Kombat, you can also take on ten opponents in arcade ladders in the “Battle” mode; these range from the basic tournament-style ladder to specific challenges against heroes, villains, or battling while poisoned, injured, or with certain buffs (such as a constantly full Super Meter or health falling from the sky). We’d see a similar system be incorporated into the “Towers” modes in later Mortal Kombat games and similar scenarios exist here, such as a survival mode, battling two opponents, or being forced to fight against the computer set to the hardest difficulty.

Graphics and Sound:
Like its violent sister-series, Injustice looks fantastic; there’s almost no difference between the high-quality story mode cutscenes and the in-fight graphics (which, again, makes it all the more frustrating that NetherRealm Studios insist on having character’s endings represented by partially-animated artwork and voiceovers), though it has to be said that the graphics are much more palatable when in a violent fight. I say this purely because I am not a big fan of some of Injustice’s character designs: The Flash looks a bit too “busy”, for example, and Batman’s suit (and cowl, especially) look really janky to me, though I love the representation of Green Lantern and Thaal Sinestro.

In addition to various intros, outros, and Wager dialogue, characters also take on battle damage.

Each character gets a nice little fitting intro and outro for each fight and, between rounds, will perform and quip a variety of taunts to the opponent. In a nice little touch, different character skins get different intros and outros; when playing as the evil Superman, for example, he enters and exits the fight differently to his more heroic counterpart. When playing as different skins, like John Stewart or Hank Henshaw/Cyborg Superman, you’ll also be treated to slightly different dialogue and animations, which is a much-appreciated touch on the developer’s part. Although there aren’t any character-specific interactions in the intros, there are during the Wager cutscenes and, even better, both characters and the arenas will accrue battle damage as the fight progresses! This means that you’ll not only see Selina Kyle/Catwoman’s cat suit rip and her skin be blemished by bruises and blood but arenas will degenerate or change around you the more damage you dish out, which can also allow different intractable options to become available to you.

Stages include a range of recognisable DC locations and take damage as you fight.

Speaking of the stages, Injustice really goes above and beyond to make the best use of the DC license; while it’s a little disappointing to see Arkham Asylum and Wayne Manor feature twice in the game, they are made distinctive by having Joker-ised and night-time variants, respectively (and also being clearly modelled after, and featuring cameos by, the Batman: Arkham (Rocksteady Studios/Various, 2009 to 2015) videogames and villains). Additionally, the use of stage transitions really helps to add a whole new dimension to combat, with some stages featuring more than others (or even none at all), to help ensure that every fight can be a little different. Stages also feature a bevy of other little cameos and DC references, such as the Fortress of Solitude being clearly modelled after Superman (Donner, 1978) while also featuring a portal to the Phantom Zone and a cameo from Starro the Conqueror. Similarly, J’onn J’onnz/Martian Manhunter floats in the background of the Watchtower space station, Floyd Lawton/Deadshot is just hanging out at Stryker’s prison, and Amazons are preparing a boat to launch on Themyscira. Every single stage has a number of intractable elements and changes as you fight, cause damage, or smash foes around, with Gotham City being my favourite as you can battle on the roof with the Bat-Signal and then down to the grimy streets below and then blast your foe back up to the roof using a nearby truck!

Enemies and Bosses:
Injustice helpfully separates its character-selection screen into heroes (on the left) and villains (on the right) but, despite their different alignments (and that their loyalties change due to the multiverse shenanigans of the story), every single one of them will be an enemy of yours at some point as you play through the story, Battles, S.T.A.R. Labs missions, and on- or offline. Consequently, it’s worth keeping track of which character suits your playstyle as some have easier combos and special moves to pull off compared to others, or more useful Super Moves and Character Powers.

Play as, and against, the game’s characters to learn their strengths, weaknesses, and skills.

Additionally, the Class system should also be factored in; Lex Luthor, Doomsday, and Solomon Gundy may be powerful and capable of gaining armour to tank through attacks but they’re also a lot slower on their feet and with their jumps. Superman and Shiera Hall/Hawkgirl are much faster Power-class characters but can also have their own drawbacks at times depending on your playstyle (Superman’s Character Power, for example, simply powers up his attacks rather than being a more offensive move like, say, Areas being able to conjure massive magical weapons). Personally, I tend to lean more towards Gadget-based characters, like Nightwing (who can switch between using quick batons or a longer bo staff to attack) or Green Arrow (whose arrows and bow allow for both ranged attacks and blindingly fast melee attacks).

Take on the corrupted Superman and banish him to the Phantom Zone for his crimes!

Unlike Mortal Kombat, Injustice doesn’t really feature any secret or hidden fights or unplayable sub-bosses or boss characters; the story mode and basic arcade ladder culminates in a battle against the corrupted Superman that is a far fairer and more competitive fight compared to the finales of NetherRealm’s recent Mortal Kombat games. While Superman is definitely a bit more of an aggressive foe, even on the game’s easiest difficulty, he doesn’t gain inexplicable armour, can be stunned, and doesn’t deal ungodly amounts of damage or spam his attacks like a cheap bitch. Additionally, he doesn’t transform into some monstrous final form and, instead, the final battle is a far better use of the skills you’ve built up through regular gameplay rather than forcing you to resort to cheap tactics and tricks.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Because it lacks a “Test Your Luck” mode and “Kombat Kodes” for multiplayer fights, there aren’t really any in-game power-ups available to you outside of the various status effects seen in the Battle mode. As before, though, some characters can gain in-game buffs with their special attacks and Character Powers: Lex Luthor, for example, can erect a shield, Doomsday can cover himself in impenetrable armour for a brief period, and Solomon Grundy slows time down and drains his opponent’s health with his swamp gas. However, you’ll earn yourself additional XP if you mix up your fighting style and take advantage of stage interactions and transitions, which will allow you to unlock further customisation options for your profile card, and you can also earn additional skins and rewards by playing and linking up to the mobile version of the game.

Additional Features:
There are fifty Achievements up for grabs in Injustice, with three of which being directly tied to the story mode (50- and 100% completion and succeeding at all of the QTE mini games). Others are tied to the game’s online modes, levelling-up to specific levels, customising your profile card, and finishing Classic Battle with one (and every) character. There are also some character-specific Achievements on offer, including performing every character’s Super Move or a ten-hit combat and winning a fight using only arrows as Green Arrow, or landing at least twelve shots without missing as Deathstroke. Batman is the only character to have two specific Achievements tied to him, though, as you’ll get some G for winning a match using all of his special moves and his Super Moves and for defeating every villain as him.

Injustice included some surprising DLC fighters; even Scorpion showed up!

Another standard of NetherRealm Studios is their addition of further skins and characters through DLC; you can get skins to play as John Stewart, Cyborg Superman, and the Flashpoint (Johns, et al, 2011) Batman, among others, and they’re all easily applicable when selecting a character (no need for extraneous “Gear” here). While the game’s DLC characters have no additional Achievements tied to them, Injustice included some fun and interesting extra fighters; Lobo, General Dru-Zod (who also sports his Man of Steel (Snyder, 2013) look as a skin), Barbara Gordon/Batgirl, Zatanna Zatara, and the Martian Manhunter were all great choices to add to the roster and it was nice to see NetherRealm Studios exercise a little restraint and not overload the DLC with additional Batman characters. By far the most exciting DLC fighter was the inclusion of Scorpion, who sports a Jim Lee redesign and began a trend of DC and Mortal Kombat characters appearing in each other’s games.

Take your fight online or complete a series of increasingly tricky S.T.AR. Labs challenges.

When you’ve had enough of the story mode and regular battle options, you can take the fight online in a series of matches; here; you can participate in ranked and unranked fights and “King of the Hill” tournaments where you watch other players fight until it’s your turn and bet on who’s going to win. The S.T.A.R. Labs missions will also keep us offline, solo players occupied for some time; these are expanded upon when you download the DLC fighters, which is much appreciated and, similar to Mortal Kombat’s “Challenge Tower” mode, basically serve as extended tutorials for each of the game’s characters. You’ll take on ten character-specific missions, with each one getting a little bit of text and maybe a picture to set the context of the mission, and these range from performing certain combos or attacks, winning fights, or completing tricky challenges (such as guiding Catwoman’s cat through laser trip wires, avoiding damage or debris, or racing against Superman).

The Summary:
Injustice: Gods Among Us is a far better marriage of Mortal Kombat and DC Comics than Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe and a fantastic expansion of the gameplay mechanics and features NetherRealm Studios revitalised their violent fighting game series with in Mortal Kombat (2009). While Injustice is obviously not as gory or violent as its sister-series, that doesn’t make it any less fun and it’s still a very brutal fighter; the Super Moves, especially, and certain character’s outros (such as the Joker’s) are definitely in the Mortal Kombat mould. With gorgeous in-game graphics, a fantastic amount of variety thanks to all of the character’s different special attacks and gameplay mechanics and the stage transitions, and a simple to learn, easy to master fighting system, Injustice is an extremely enjoyable game for anyone who’s a fan of either franchise or fighting games in general. The story is a breeze to get through (thought it is essentially every basic multiverse story ever told in comics) and nicely varied with some QTE sequences; the S.T.A.R. Labs missions and different arcade ladders are much more enjoyable and challenging than in its sister-series and there are plenty of character options, variety, and unlockables to keep you busy. Best of all, the game isn’t bogged down by endless grinding to unlock Gear, skins, or other perks and is a much more user-friendly and accessible fighting game, and overall experience, than its sequel.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Were you a fan of Injustice: Gods Among Us? What did you think to it as a blend of Mortal Kombat and DC Comics? What were your thoughts on the game’s story and its depiction of a parallel world terrorised by a corrupted Superman? Which of the game’s fighters was your favourite and why? Did you buy the base game and all the DLC packs separately or did you pick up the Ultimate Edition when it released later? What did you think to the additional DLC characters and skins? Were there any characters or features missing from the game for you? Which DC Comics videogame, movie, comic, or other piece of media is your favourite? Are you a fan of multiverse stories and crossovers? Whatever you think about Injustice, leave a comment down below and be sure to check back in next Wednesday for more Crossover Crisis content!

Back Issues [JLA Day]: The Brave and the Bold #28


To celebrate the release of Justice League (Snyder/Whedon, 2017), DC Comics named November 18 “Justice League Day”. Sadly, this clashes with another pop culture holiday but, setting aside all the drama surrounding that movie, this still provides a perfect excuse to dedication some time to talking about DC’s premier superhero team, which set the standard for super teams in comics by bringing together DC’s most powerful heroes.


Story Title: “Starro the Conqueror!”
Published: 29 December 1959 (cover-dated March 1960)
Writer: Gardner Fox
Artist: Mike Sekowsky

The Background:
All Star Comics (1940/1941), brought together eight superheroes from a number of different publishers for the first time as the Justice Society of America (JSA). This not only heralded the birth of the first ever superhero team in comics but also allowed readers to see their favourite characters interacting all for the same price as reading any one comic. The JSA’s roster expanded and changed over the years but the team underwent their most significant change when, in the late 1950s, then-editor Julius Schwartz asked writer Gardner Fox to reintroduce and rebrand the team as the Justice League of America (JLA) to capitalise on the popularity of the American Football League and Major League Baseball’s National League.

Taking over from the JSA, the JLA became one of the most versatile and powerful super teams.

Though the team debuted in The Brave and the Bold #28, a title famous for featuring team-ups between various fictional and superheroic characters, the team’s actual origin wasn’t revealed until the ninth issue of their self-titled series, which became one of DC Comic’s best-selling titles. As with the JSA and other super teams, the JLA’s roster has changed over the years and many splinter groups and spin-offs have been introduced but perhaps there is no more iconic line-up than the JLA’s original roster that was comprised of DC’s heavy-hitters: Clark Kent/Superman, Bruce Wayne/Batman, Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Hal Jordan/Green Lantern, Arthur Curry/Aquaman, Barry Allan/The Flash, and J’onn J’onzz (referred to here as “John Jones”)/Martian Manhunter.

The Review:
“Starro the Conqueror!” begins with the odd choice to not detail the first time these superheroes joined forces and, instead, starts off with the seven heroes already having agreed to come together in times of crisis (they each have a signalling device to summon the others). I kind of like this on the one hand as it suggests that DC’s top superheroes already set aside their differences for the greater good without any real fuss and it helps speed things up but, on the other hand, it feels a bit out of place to not detail the first meeting of these heroes. Anyway, the first member of the team to become aware of an impending threat is Aquaman who, thanks to information provided to him by a puffer fish, is learns of the arrival of the gigantic extraterrestrial starfish known as Starro.

Aquaman’s summons is answered by some of DC’s greatest superheroes.

This monstrous being has travelled across the depths of space to Earth with one goal in mind: conquest. To that end, Starro…somehow…transforms three of Earth’s starfish into replicas of itself and spreads them across the world to begin its mad scheme. Aquaman’s summons are immediately picked up and answered by Wonder Woman (who is in the middle of an awkward conversation with her beau, Steve Trevor, regarding marriage), Green Lantern (who, as Hal Jordan, was in the middle of a test flight), the Flash (who quickly disperses of a potentially life-threatening tornado), and the Martian Manhunter (who was simply about to start his vacation…). Each of these introductory panels immediately gives the reader and idea of what each character is capable of: Aquaman can breath underwater and talk to fish, Wonder Woman has an invisible jet, Green Lantern’s ring allows him to perform virtually any task, the Flash is super fast, and the Martian Manhunter can shape-shift. Aquaman’s signal also reaches Superman and Batman but the two are unable to respond right away since Superman is busy taking care of a potentially dangerous meteor shower and Batman is in the middle of stopping a crime spree. You might think that Superman would have spotted Starro’s arrival from space but he was dealing with a great deal of meteors (it’s also entirely possible that Starro caused the meteor shower specifically to distract Superman) and I guess it’s in character for Batman to prioritise Gotham City’s safety over a JLA summons (though a JLA-level peril is surely more threatening for Gotham than a crime spree…)

Green Lantern is able to defeat the Starro duplicate with relative ease.

Regardless, the five heroes meet at the “modernistically outfitted cavern” that serves as the JLA’s headquarters. Having been informed of Starro’s threat and where it intends to strike, the Flash, as the JLA’s chairman, orders the team to split up and it is at this point that the story diverges from the team-based format and instead switches to cover each individual mission. The first sees Green Lantern battling one of Starro’s deputies in the skies above Rocky Mountain National Park; Hal arrives in time to see the gigantic creature but is too late to stop it from attacking a passing air force jet-bomber and relieving it of its payload: nothing less than an atom bomb! Green Lantern is able to save the aircraft when it goes into a deadly freefall but is unable to keep the Starro duplicate from detonating the atom bomb! Thankfully, Hal’s energy shield protects him from the blast and he watches in horror as the creature absorbs the energy released from the bomb. Hal pursues and is nearly blasted from the sky by a scorching beam fired from the creature’s tentacle. However, Green Lantern is easily able to avoid the creature’s thrashing limbs and attacks and reduce it down to a regular starfish by scoring a direct hit on its massive eye.

Starro’s duplicate falls before the might of Wonder Woman and the Martian Manhunter.

Next, the story switches to “Science City” where Wonder Woman and Martian Manhunter (why Diana has to team up with another hero is beyond me…) find another of Starro’s deputies abducting the “Hall of Science”, where the greatest scientific minds of the United States are gathered. The creature intends to bring the scientists into the upper atmosphere so it can absorb their brainpower and knowledge; Wonder Woman attempts to use her magical lasso to prise the creature’s tentacles from the building but ends up being yanked off of her invisible jet and onto the Hall of Science thanks to the giant starfish’s incredible strength. Meanwhile, J’onn uses his super-breath to bombard the creature with fragments of the meteors Superman is destroying and uses the same technique to cause a torrential rainfall when flames from the building threaten his life. Starro’s deputy then attempts to destroy them both by firing bolts of nuclear energy their way but Wonder Woman is, of course, able to deflect them with her magical bracelets and J’onn shields himself using the building’s conveniently lead-lined roof. Diana then whips her lasso around her jet and uses the momentum to forcibly drag the building out of the sky. The effort of battling both heroes at once soon takes its toll on the creature, which plummets from the sky and begins to revert back into a regular starfish.

The Flash makes short work of the final Starro duplicate.

When then join the Flash as he confronts another of Starro’s deputies at Happy Harbour; this part of the story is easily the worst simply because it introduces one of the most annoying and aggravating characters ever conceived: the JLA’s “mascot”, Snapper Carr. Snapper is a hip, super cool teenager with the annoying habit of constantly snapping his fingers all the God-damn time who is shocking to find his family, and the entire town, enthralled by Starro’s trance. For whatever reason (possibly due to being high, judging by the way he speaks!), Snapper is immune to Starro’s influence so he needs to be saved from certain death by the Flash. Despite Starro’s best efforts to vaporise the Scarlet Speedster, the Flash (literally) runs rings around the creature and ultimately defeats it when it tries to hide in the sea. In the process, the townsfolk are freed from their trance and Snapper’s family are able to tell Flash where they were ordered by the creature to head to: Turkey Hollow.

The JLA defeat Starro with ridiculous ease and make Snapper an honorary member!

The final part of the story sees the team reunite to take on the real Starro at Turkey Hollow; despite the defeat of its deputies, Starro remains confident since it was still able to absorb the power of that atomic bomb, the knowledge of Earth’s scientists, and…whatever it is the townsfolk of Happy Harbour contributed to its mind (local Earth knowledge, I guess?) Starro plans to use all that it has learned to force humanity into destroying the world with nuclear weapons and then use the influx of nuclear energy would then allow it to conquer other worlds across the universe. When the JLA arrive, Starro immediately puts its abilities to good use by reading Hal’s mind and turning itself yellow to render itself immune to his power ring but the Flash notices that Starro’s awesome energy ray has absolutely no effect on Snapper (who he, of course, brought along for the ride!) Flash orders Wonder Woman and the Martian Manhunter to distract Starro while Hal uses his power ring as a spectroscope to discover that Snapper is covered in lime from when he was mowing the lawn earlier. Apparently, lime is deadly to starfish so Hal dumps a whole bunch of it onto Starro to weaken it. Martian Manhunter then uses his super-breath to blow a load of calcium oxide (which is, apparently, also lime) onto the creature and thus imprison it within an unbreakable shell of lime. With Starro’s threat ended, Superman and Batman return just in time to see the Flash making Snapper an honorary member of the JLA and…boy, do they look thrilled to be there!

The Summary:
I don’t mind telling you that I am a bit disappointed by “Starro the Conqueror!”; the story started pretty strong but fell off a cliff pretty quickly at the end, becoming little more than a science class rather than a big old fight between Earth’s greatest heroes and an alien menace. I suppose it speaks to the intelligence of the JLA (specifically Barry) to come up with a way to outwit, rather than outfight, the creature and the sudden introduction of lime as the might Starro’s one weakness is arguably no less lame than fire being J’onn’s weakness and yellow being Hal’s and there is a lot of action prior to the finale but still…the entire point of the comic is to see these heroes joining forces and we don’t really get that.

Aquaman is unfairly side-lined and does nothing except alert the JLA to Starro’s presence.

You might be wondering where the hell Aquaman was during this story; despite appearing to be a pivotal member of the team in the early panels, Arthur is little more than an early warning system to alert the team to Starro’s threat. Hell, when Barry is divvying out the JLA’s individual missions, Aquaman doesn’t even get to fight one of the creatures as he’s sent back to the ocean to watch out for any more of the duplicates and, when he does return to the story for the finale, he does absolutely nothing. It’s pretty sad considering the JLA were light on power with Superman out of the equation and when you consider that Arthur might have actually been really useful at Happy Harbour so could have easily teamed up with the Flash for that mission…but then we might never have gotten Snapper-fuckin’-Carr now, would we!?

Hal and J’onn are severely underutilised, with their powers reduced to the bare minimum.

Honestly, Snapper could have been dropped entirely from the story; he’s only there so the teenager readers can act like they’re fighting alongside their favourite heroes, after all, and it’s legitimately sad that he’s more important to the story than Aquaman! Seriously, drop Snapper, have Aquaman and the Flash go to Happy Harbour, and have Arthur get covered in lime while battling the creature in the water and reveal the key to Starro’s defeat. Seems like a pretty simple solution to me. Similarly, it’s pretty disappointing that Superman and Batman don’t play any part in the story at all. I can understand why as Superman’s power alone would probably be able to end Starro’s threat but it’s a bit of a let down that they don’t even join the team for the big climactic battle. Instead, we’re left with the likes of the Martian Manhunter, who is probably just as powerful as Superman if not more so and yet is reduced to simply puffing away with his super-breath. Similarly, Hal’s potential and power is also significantly reduced; his ring allows him to do virtually anything but, in the end, all he really uses it for is to fly about, rescue a falling plane, and zap at Starro with energy blasts.

Starro seems like a threatening villain but end sup being a massive disappointment.

Still, at least Wonder Woman gets a lot to do; she basically does all the work in her team-up with J’onn which, again, makes me question why she has to have a partner and no one else does. The implication may be that it’s because she’s a woman but she’s easily the most dependable and capable superheroine I’ve seen all year; she doesn’t even get bound or anything, which is refreshing. The Flash also gets far more chances to show off his abilities and competence; beyond his super speed allowing him to easily best one of Starro’s duplicates, Barry is portrayed as a decisive team leader and his intelligence is what ultimately wins the day over brute strength. Overall, Starro is just another in a long line of potentially dangerous foes that really don’t amount to a whole hell of a lot. It openly admits that its plot to conquer Earth is the first time it’s ever tried anything like that, exposing its naivety and inexperience in world conquest and battle. Its scheme seems pretty good to start with as it creates duplicates of itself and absorbs power and knowledge but it fails to really do anything with this beyond making itself yellow; it could have spewed flames at J’onn, bound Wonder Woman’s wrists, subjected Aquaman to intense heat, or slowed the Flash down with quicksand but it never does any of that. For all the power and knowledge it has, Starro ends up just being a giant alien punching bag that, arguably, the Flash alone could have defeated and, because of that, it’s simply a piss-poor excuse to see all these heroes band together and even then they spend the majority of the story working separately!

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to the JLA’s debut appearance? Were you happy to see five out of the seven joining forces for the first time or would you have liked to see all seven of them getting in on the action? What did you think of Starro as the principal villain and the introduction of Snapper Carr? Which era or incarnation of the JLA is your favourite and what are some of your favourite JLA stories? Who would you like to see in the JLA some day? How are you celebrating Justice League Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on the JLA, feel free to leave a comment below.