Back Issues [Deadpool Day]: Cable & Deadpool #1-6


February 1991 marked the debut of Wade W. Wilson, the wise-cracking, fourth-wall-breaking Merc With a Mouth, one of Marvel’s most popular anti-heroes. Sideshow even rechristened April 1st as “Deadpool Day” to give fans an excuse to celebrate all things Deadpool.


Story Title: “If Looks Could Kill” (Part 1 to 6)

Published: 19 May 2004 (cover-dated: July 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Mark Brooks

Published: 21 April 2004 (cover-dated: June 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Mark Brooks

Published: 19 May 2004 (cover-dated: July 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Patrick Zircher

Published: 16 June 2004 (cover-dated: August 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Patrick Zircher

Published: 21 July 2004 (cover-dated: September 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Patrick Zircher

Published: 18 August 2004 (cover-dated: October 2004)
Writer: Fabian Nicieza
Artist: Patrick Zircher

Quick Facts:
As instructed by then-chief editor Jim Shooter, Chris Claremont and Bob McLeod create the New Mutants, Mutant youngsters tutored by time travelling Mutant Nathan Summers/Cable as (eventually) X-Force. This also saw the debut of Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld’s Deadpool, a composite of James “Logan” Howlett/Wolverine, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, and (most infamously) DC Comics’ Slade Wilson/Deathstroke the Terminator. Years after establishing himself, Deadpool famously partnered with his frenemy, Cable, in team-ups that would define them as one of Marvel’s most entertaining and chaotic duos.

The Review:
Our story begins with Wade lounging around his apartment, aimlessly flicking through channels until called about a job. Although Wade’s initially reluctant as his client, the One World Church, is based in France as he mistakenly believes the United States is at war with France, he soon dons some synthetic skin and jets over there with the promise of a big payday. He’s met by the less-than-inconspicuous robed representatives of the church, who accept Wade’s gruesome, scarified visage as they’ve been “cleansed” of their identities and rendered androgynous, blue-skinned monks by their order. Though Wade warns them about preaching to him, he meets with their Prime Minister, Anton Kruch, at their colony and, though dubious, learns that the order has purged themselves of all material goods and societal boundaries. Inside the church’s high-tech mansion, Deadpool learns that Sunic Pharmacopoeia created a synthetic virus that could destroy or greatly benefit mankind, and that his mission is to retrieve the “Façade Virus” from their German facility. The toxin was created by Hans Beimer, a scientist currently being mind scanned by Cable. After advising a Mutant bellboy to reach out to Professor Charles Xavier/Professor X, Cable asks Irene Merryweather at the Daily Bugle to fill him in on Sunic, whom he suspects are up to no good. However, he finds the facility in chaos as Deadpool is cutting, shooting, and blasting through the security. Disturbed to find his old nemesis ransacking the place, Cable takes Wade’s advice and “[blows his] mind” with his telekinetic powers but is concerned to find the Façade Virus has been stolen and Beimer has been exposed to it, rendering him a blubbering mess of tumours, and realising too late that the fear he detected in three of the staff was actually guilt from the thieves. These “Spammers” experience different side effects from the virus, with Gunther Herschein/Sour Kraut being violently sick, Asahiri Aoki/Go-Go finding her skin extremely malleable, and Tuatola T’Tuana Timōn/T-5 seemingly unaffected.

Cable and Deadpool clash when it comes to a potentially dangerous man-made virus.

When his telepathic, city-wave search for the three proves futile, Cable calls Irene to learn their real names before running into Deadpool again. As Wade’s been contracted to steal the virus and hopefully help disfigured people like himself and Cable’s made it his mission to destroy it, the two seem destined for a conflict, only for Cable to blow Deadpool’s brains out again. By the time Cable reaches Sour Kraut, he’s literally melting from the virus after using it to masquerade as a movie star in a misguided attempt to cause anarchy. Despite his dismissive attitude towards Sour Kraut, Cable permits him a swift death and then confronts T-5 as he’s gunning down civilians and shouting about government hypocrisy. Chastising T-5’s hypocrisy, Cable easily brings him down and then evaporates Go-Go’s bazooka before extracting the virus from her as she did the others. The effort leaves Cable physically and mentally drained, allowing Deadpool to get the drop on him and bring the sample back to the church so its disciples can forgo the agony associated with their physical transformation. However, the church betrays him and harvests his unique accelerated healing factor to stabilise the virus, allowing them to quickly and efficiently transform everyone into their followers with a simple injection. Luckily, Cable’s ridiculously overpowered telekinetic abilities kept him from being killed and he takes some time to heal from the mental strain in Switzerland with a fully healed Professor X. Since Cable has purged his body of the “techno-organic virus” that held back his powers, Professor X worries that he’s overexerting himself, especially as he’s easily able to hold the returning virus at bay and push himself beyond his previous limits. Brushing these concerns aide, Cable asks for advice about how to best utilise his incredible powers while he still has control and Professor X warns him against employing them in a God-like manner to “fix” society’s ills.

Deadpool seemingly becomes transformed into the church’s loyal acolyte.

While infiltrating the church, Cable reluctantly apologies for the position the delirious and helpless Deadpool has found himself in and the two bury the hatchet through a psychic rapport, though Cable postpones rescuing him to scope out Kruch’s operation while functionally invisible. Kruch preaches of eliminating strife and bigotry by remaking everyone in their image and presents a fully transformed and brainwashed Deadpool to his congregation, who immediately exposes Cable, though Kruch insists that the church is no threat. Cable is amazed to see that Deadpool’s been cured of his mania and anger, though he’s sceptical about Kruch’s vision of world peace. Invited to witness the first test of the “Deliverance”, Cable and Deadpool witness Kruch’s plan to “infect” the world using electrical transmissions beamed into the eyes, afflicting Cable with the Façade Virus. When Cable decides to use it for himself, he unwittingly allows the virus to run rampant within him, sending his Mutant and technological abilities haywire and leaving him wide open for Deadpool’s sudden attack. After fending Wade off, Cable threatens Kruch was castration if he doesn’t tell him how to stop the virus. When Deadpool redoubles his attack, he ends up tossed into his dorm room, his healing factor struggling with the virus as he struggles with his sanity, slipping back into his costume to attack Cable. Stunned to learn that there is no cure for the Façade Virus, Cable’s easily overwhelmed by Deadpool since the infection is causing his techno-organic virus to spread like wildfire. Conveniently, Cable crash-lands into the church’s armoury, allowing him to blast his way into the facility, only for Deadpool to attack again, convinced that Cable’s become the very thing he claimed to fight against.

Tensions between Cable and Deadpool remain high after Cable takes Kruch’s plan for his own.

Upon seeing Cable transformed into a bizarre, tentacled grotesque as the combined Façade and the techno-organic virus partially melts and ruins his body and his cyborg parts, Deadpool briefly takes pity on him but refuses to use his blood to cure Cable. Although Deadpool believes that Kruch can eliminate xenophobia, which justifies taking away people’s opinions, he’s stopped in his tracks when his body also begins to melt from the Façade Virus. Though he keeps talking nonsense even as he melts into a pile of goop, Deadpool cannot drag himself to Cable’s paralysed form to cure them both. Luckily, Cable uses his telekinetic powers to draw Deadpool’s liquified remains to him, restoring him and literally puking up the restored Deadpool. Pissed at being deceived by Kruch, Deadpool insists on accompanying Cable to Sunic’s Singapore office, where Merryweather tells him the church has fled, though Cable leaves the visibly cured Wade to find his own way there. Although Cable arrives first, he’s intercepted by Doctor Edward Lansky/Lightmaster, who attacks with blades at blinding speed and ends up teleported into the Moon’s orbit. While Cable agrees with Kruch’s philosophy for world peace and anticipated that he planned to spread the Façade Virus through Lightmaster, he redirects Dr. Lansky’s counterattack into the Singapore Deliverance Device, spreading a modified version of the virus across the world and turning them pink instead of blue. Cable then flies over the world reassembling his old space station and worrying Merryweather so much that she asks him to visit her in person. Knowing he’d use his teleporter, and that the incident has genetically bonded Cable with Deadpool, Merryweather leads Cable into a confrontation with Wade, one Cable easily ends by repeatedly tearing Deadpool apart with teleporters. Cable then restores everyone to normal and proclaims himself a saviour, unwittingly restoring Deadpool’s gruesome visage. Deadpool then vows to abuse their biological link to keep tabs on Cable and ensure he doesn’t let his God complex go to his head, a sentiment shared by the X-Men.

Final Thoughts: 
I was expecting a lot more from Cable and Deadpool’s first team-up. On the plus side, the art is pretty much flawless. While I prefer Cable as a man-mountain and it was jarring to see him so trim, lacking in ostentatious accessories, and relying on his awesome psychic powers, the art had a very kinetic and colourful style to it. The few fight and action scenes we get are frantic and detailed and I particularly enjoyed how expressive Mark Brooks and Patrick Zircher make Deadpool, despite his disappointing lack of time in his costume. This is Deadpool at his most self-referential and wacky, with him constantly chattering nonsense and making timely pop culture references to Dennis the Menace and Brigitte Nielsen. I liked that Deadpool is haunted by his ghastly appearance, which leaves him a cross between “Ryan Renolds [sic] and a shar-pei”, and that this seems to inform his defence of the One World Church. Sadly, this isn’t as developed as I’d like. Indeed, when Deadpool hears Kruch’s pitch, he’s sceptical and only in it for the money, then he’s suddenly fighting Cable to the death over the Façade Virus even before he’s pumped full of it and seemingly indoctrinated into the order. It seems Deadpool is only half-heartedly on Kruch’s side, with him finally achieving inner peace thanks to his restored visage (even if he is blue) and believing there’s a small chance the church can end conflict and bigotry. However, this isn’t as explicit as I would’ve liked. It seems Deadpool’s been brainwashed, then he seemingly denies that. Then, he makes amends with Cable a couple of times and then turns on him, suddenly convinced Cable wants to conquer the world by perverting the Façade Virus, which kind of comes out of nowhere, and Wade turns against Kruch when he suffers the horrendous side effects of the virus.

While the art is great, the plot and characterisations are distractingly haphazard.

This is much more of a Cable story, one centred on his conflicting morality regarding his incredible powers, which are stronger than ever. Having witnessed apocalyptic futures and a lifetime of conflict and suffering, Cable is obsessed with saving the world and is tempted to use his almost God-like powers for the greater good even if it means putting himself on a pedestal. Indeed, Cable is ridiculously powerful here, forgoing any weapons but his telekinetic abilities and easily rendering himself invisible or having psychic conversations from half a world away. Cable sees a logic in Kruch’s twisted vision for the world, which would make “all as one” as a homogenised, placid species. Although Cable believes Kruch is taking away people’s opinions, it’s not clear to me how Cable’s plan for the Façade Virus is any different beyond making people pink instead of blue. He spreads the virus and worries friends and foes alike by reconstructing his space station, but seemingly does nothing despite claiming to have full control of the virus. He then restores everyone and is apparently heralded as a hero, though I’m not sure how or why, inspiring Deadpool, the X-Men, and others to believe he’s gone “too far”. I can just about understand Deadpool’s behaviour being all over the place as he’s nuts, but I don’t get why Cable’s characterisation is so radically different panel to panel and issue to issue. I can only assume it was part of an ongoing story arc, but it made this first six-part story unnecessarily difficult to read. The dialogue bounces around so much I had trouble keeping track of what was going on or why the two were fighting and I was left disappointed that this wasn’t a more action-packed, unhinged team-up between the titular Mutants.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Did you enjoy the first story arc of Cable and Deadpool’s team-up comic? Were you also disappointed that it wasn’t a more action-packed story? Can you explain why Deadpool was so devoted to the One World Church and what the hell was going on with Cable? What are some of your favourite moments between Cable and Deadpool and how are you celebrating Deadpool Day today? Let me know what you thought down in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other, better Cable and/or Deadpool content for the site.

Game Corner [Mario Month]: Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury (Nintendo Switch)


So, for no better reason than “Mar.10” resembling Mario’s name, March 10th is widely regarded as being “Mario Day”, a day to celebrate Nintendo’s portly plumber, an overalls-wearing mascot who literally changed the videogame industry forever and shaped the home console market of the nineties.


Released: 12 February 2021
Originally Released: 21 November 2013
Developer: Nintendo EPD

Original Developer: Nintendo EAD Tokyo
Also Available For: Nintendo Wii U (Original Release)
Metacritic Scores: 89 / 8.6

Quick Facts:
Following the critical acclaim of Super Mario 3D Land (Nintendo EAD Tokyo, 2011), a blending of Mario’s 2D and 3D mechanics, the developers explored ideas for a follow-up for Nintendo’s ill-fated Wii U console. Desiring intuitive controls and unique movement in a 3D space, the team developed a new cat suit to enable players to climb walls and producer Yoshiaki Koizumi lobbied to make Princess “Peach” Toadstool a playable character. The game was met with universal acclaim and inspired a spin-off series based on its diorama-like minigames and this enhanced port. Despite high sales and reviews praising Bowser’s Fury’s experimental, open-world mechanics, reviewers were frustrated by the game’s inconsistent performance, uninspired challenges, and its more chaotic presentation.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Super Mario 3D World is a 3D/2.5D hybrid action platformer that mixes gameplay elements from the New Super Mario Bros. series (Nintendo EAD, 2006 to 2019) with his 3D adventures, allowing for a limited degree of movement on the whimsical Sprixie Kingdom overworld and in certain stages (referred to as “Courses”) while also offering traditional, sidescrolling platforming. The game supports up to four players in simultaneous co-op, with players initially picking between the classic Super Mario Bros. 2 (Nintendo R&D4, 1988) line up of Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad (though a blue-coloured version). While each character shares the same controls and many basic abilities, they all play a little differently: Mario is the all-rounder, Luigi is faster can extend his jump by kicking his legs but is very slippery, Peach is slower but can float for short periods, and Toad is the fastest but has a stunted jump. As ever, players collect yellow Coins (with 100 granting an extra life, also gifted by 1-Up Mushrooms or defeating multiple enemies in a row), play against a timer (extended by collecting +Clocks), and must reach a flagpole to finish each Course. Players can hop to platforms and bop on heads using A or B, holding it to jump higher and tapping it to swim, and run by holding X or Y. ZL or ZR see you crouch to fit through narrow gaps and you press B to jump, or press a trigger in mid-air for a ground pound (performing a boosted jump if you hit B as you land). Rotate the left stick and hit B to perform a spinning jump, hold a trigger and press Y to roll or press B for a long jump, and press Y in mid-air for a jumping roll. Characters perform a wall jump by jumping against walls, perform a side flip with a flick of the left stick and a press of A/B, and spawn a reserve power-up by pressing up on the directional pad (D-pad), with left allowing you to scan an Amiibo and down activating snapshot mode. You can also hold Y to grab and throw items (like Koopa shells and snowballs), with the projectile collecting Green Stars and Stamps, and you can bash blocks for Coins and power-ups or hit POW Blocks to wipe out all onscreen enemies.

Your platforming abilities are bolstered by a new cat suit, team up moves, and a dino surfing.

When hit, your character loses their power-up and/or reverts to a “small” form, though you can power back up with any item and will return to your base “super” form by passing a checkpoint. The classic Super Mushroom grows you to normal size, the Fire Flower lets you toss bouncy fireballs with Y to light torches and defeat enemies, the Super Stars turns you invincible for a short period, and the Super Leaf garbs you in a Tanooki suit to whip enemies with your tail or flutter jump. Super Mario 3D Land’s Boomerang Flower and the Double Cherry let you toss boomerangs with Y or produce up to four duplicates to activate weighted platforms. The returning Mega Mushroom grows you to gigantic sizes to smash through the environment, and the Super Leaf spawns an invincible Tanooki suit if you struggle to clear a Course. The game’s big gimmick is the Super Bell, which puts you in a cat costume and lets you scramble up walls, swipe with your claws with Y, and perform a claw dive by pressing Y in mid-air. The game greatly emphasises this, with special ramps and goodies purposely hidden unless you have the power-up, and you can even grab a Lucky Bell to become a golden statue off a ground pound for extra Coins. You can hop into ice skates to better cross slippery ice, and grab a Goomba Mask to stop Goombas attacking you, the Cannon Box to fire cannon balls to blow up weak walls or hit far away switches, the Light Box to light up dark areas and dispels ghosts, and the Propeller Box to fly and hover for short periods. You’ll also jump on Plessie to careen down rapids, flying off ramps, bopping on enemies, and passing through rings for extra Coins. Captain Toad also transports you to a diorama-like world that limits your movements since the explorer can’t jump. In these fun little side sections, you must rotate the diorama with the right stick and hit switches to rotate the environment, move platforms, or use pipes to collect five Green Stars all while avoiding enemies and hazards since Captain Toad cannot attack.

Explore as Captain Toad, hop to platforms, and brave haunted mansions in search of Green Stars.

When exploring the overworld, you’ll find Toad Houses to grab random power-ups, slot machines to gain extra Coins, and find hidden areas in each Course that lead to more goodies. While your main goal is the end flagpole, each Course hides three Green Stars needed to unlock additional Courses and boss castles. Some Green Stars are in plain sight, others require power-ups to reach, and others are hidden in alcoves or out of the way areas, so it pays to explore. You can use pipes to warp across stages, hop to moving and temporary platforms, and must avoid spikes, fire bars, fireballs, and crushing Thwomps (though these can also boost you to higher ground). Some Courses have a strict time limit; some contain clouds the blast you above the clouds for a quick run through the sky; and some contain blocks that extend horizontally or vertically to cross gaps. Some Courses contain deadly lava or toxic gunk, others see you swimming through water and avoiding vortexes and spiked hazards, while haunted mansions contain door mazes and Boos masquerading as flagpoles and items. You’ll clamber to moving and flipping fences, race across conveyer-like platforms, explore behind waterfalls, and navigate tricky platforming sections where every jump flips coloured platforms. You’ll also have to light up tiles to progress, use spring pads, hit switches to generate tracks to keep from falling, and even tap the screen in some Courses to open doors. Mystery Boxes on the overworld warp you to timed platforming and combat challenges to earn additional Green Stars, Bullet Bills must be tricked into destroying certain blocks (or bombs must be tossed), and you’ll race through autoscroller sections to hop across a speeding train, avoid blasts from tanks, or to keep from being devoured by ravenous Fuzzies! You’ll also be avoiding searchlights, hopping to turning platforms and jumping between cogs, swinging from trapezes, chasing panicked rabbits, being blasted along by dash panels, gingerly hopping to seesaw platforms, and traversing invisible platforms to snag goodies and reach the flagpole.

Your open-world adventure is continually interrupted by bad camera angles and Bowser’s attacks.

In Bowser’s Fury, you only play as Mario (with all the same abilities and power-ups as in the main game), though a second player can jump in as Bowser Jr. If you don’t have a friend, Bowser Jr. will still automatically help out, attacking enemies and grabbing items and interacting with the environment when you touch the screen, and you can customise how much he aids you from the settings. This game is akin to Super Mario Odyssey (Nintendo EPD, 2017), with Mario tracking down Cat Shines like Power Moons. Each area has four islands or sub-areas that hide five Cat Shines and a bunch of additional ones. The easiest Cat Shines are at the foot of lighthouses, which will clear the goop covering them to offer tips and additional power-ups (with multiples of each held in reserve), though you’ll also be collecting Blue Coins and five Shine Shards to earn additional Cat Shines. Others are earned by fending off enemies in an enclosed arena, racing across the water on Plessie, running to a specific point against a time limit, finding a key to unlock a cage, chasing a suspiciously familiar “Fury Shadow”, and defeating mini bosses. You’ll be clambering up walls, desperately running around rotating blocks and cylinders, avoiding lava pits, dealing with switch switches, and hopping to moving and temporary platforms and blocks, tapping the screen to reveal invisible areas and blasting across gaps with cannon-like pipes. Wearing the cat suit lets you spin special wheels or fling yourself about using special coils, and you’ll again need bombs and ice skates to progress. The purpose of the Cat Shines is to clear up the goop, uncover the “Giga Bell”, and access new areas, but you’re constantly under threat from the Kaiju-like “Fury Bowser”. After a short time, Fury Bowser rises from the oil and bombards the island with falling spikes and unleashes his devastating fire breath, though these can be used as temporary platforms and will shatter “Fury Blocks” to uncover additional Cat Shines. Fury Bowser’s rampage ends after a short time but can be dispelled by collecting Cat Shines and using the lighthouses. You can also engage him directly by activating the Giga Bell, though the mechanic does quickly grow tiresome despite how epic and ominous hiss appearance is.

Presentation:
Super Mario 3D World is as gorgeous and colourful as you’d expect from a Mario title. All the usual tropes and mechanics are here, from vivid overworlds, warp pipes, an abundance of mushrooms and various platforms, to quirky moments like Goombas panicking when they spot you and Boos going shy when you make eye contact. Each character plays differently, which I very much appreciated, and is accompanied by gibberish sound bites and cries of enthusiasm or pain, celebrating with a victory pose at the end of each Course. Mario and Luigi even lose their hats when in their “small” forms and characters scamper about with meows when wearing a cat suit, a gimmick also adopted by the game’s title screen and many enemies. Similarly, translucent pipes are everywhere in Super Mario 3D World, with the Fire Flower and Fire Bros. even shooting down them, alongside new gimmicks like the ice skates and 2.5D reimagining of the tank stages from Super Mario Bros. 3 (Nintendo EAD, 1988). Courses and Worlds adopt recognisable aesthetics such as sunny hills, dark underground passages, deserts full of quicksand, and ominous castles full of lava. The game’s jaunty soundtrack features remixes of returning themes and enjoyable beats, though nothing really stood out to me as all that memorable. There aren’t too many cutscenes here save for the intro and outro, though there’s often a little cutaway when you enter a castle or confront a boss. Similarly, the story is mostly conveyed through an omniscient narrator and pantomime, with both being employed to amusing effect in Bowser’s Fury, where Bowser Jr. conveys his thoughts and concerns through crude paintings. The overworld is quite lively at times, with new areas and shortcuts popping up as you progress and collect Green Stars, and it’s fun seeing the captive Sprixies both crying for help on the overworld and waiting at the flagpole after you defeat the boss guarding them.

Some impressive, colourful visuals and a large sandbox make this a visual treat, even by Mario’s standards.

Unfortunately, the Courses aren’t all that inventive in Super Mario 3D World. While not surprising as Mario games always stick to a well-crafted formula, it is a bit disappointing seeing the game rely on the same gimmicks and aesthetics as previous titles. While each World’s overworld has a theme, Courses don’t always reflect that: you’ll explore rolling hills, haunted mansions, and toxic swamps whether the overworld is a desert, in the clouds, or at the beach. Some Courses are pitch black, requiring the Fire Flower or Light Box to illuminate the way; other times, you run around in silhouette, pushing over Bowser standees and hopping to blocks. Sometimes, you jump into paintings or use mirrors to see goodies hidden behind you; other times, the game pays homage to Super Mario Galaxy (Nintendo EAD Tokyo, 2007) or features Easter Eggs celebrating the “Year of Luigi”. Some Courses adopt a quasi-third-person perspective and are pure 3D platformers, while others incorporate 2.5D sidescrolling, with the perspective often shifting mid-Course, especially if you’re in water or riding platforms. Some Courses are autoscrollers, forcing you to race away on a 2.5D plane or desperate jump as Fuzzies consume the ground. Panels shift and move, the ground and cog-like platforms turn over bottomless pits, and you’ll hop across and racing down lit-up blocks to avoid plunging to your doom. The Courses are all very colourful and have a fair bit going on, with hidden areas access by pipes or hopping to suspicious out of the way alcoves, and a fair bit of depth in the background, though I did sometimes struggle with the camera perspective, which led to me repeating certain jumps or get confused about where I was. This is even worse in Bowser’s Fury, where the camera is a constant headache, sticking either too close to Mario or being obscured by the environment. I enjoyed the quasi open-world nature of this mode, which basically acts as a scaled down version of Super Mario Odyssey, and the additional rain and ominous storm effects really added to the ambiance and panic when Fury Bowser awoke. However, it can be difficult to navigate the islands as the map isn’t much help and you’re not given much indication on where to go or when the areas have spawned new Cat Shines.  

Enemies and Bosses:
Hordes of Goombas, Koopa Troopers, Boos, Cheep-Cheeps, Spinys, and Piranha Plants all return and many are bolstered by their own cat power-ups. Goombas also slide around in ice skates or attack in totems, sometimes with Fire or Hammer Bros. atop them, and Piranha Creepers stretch out from pipes and walls to make hopping across lily pads even trickier in the swamp stages. Boos disguise themselves as items and flagpoles and Big Boos loom out of walls and chase you through shifting mansions, Parabones constantly rebuild themselves, Stingbys incessantly pursue you, and Conkdors try to crush you with their beaks. You can hop to higher areas or goodies using bouncy Biddybuds, uncover frog-like Coin Coffers hiding in bushes and topple bigger, meaner Galoombas, and will find mouse-like Skipsqueaks running on rolling platforms and adorable Blocksteppers marching to the game’s soundtrack. Bullet and Banzai Bills fire from cannons, often homing in on you, different bro variants Boomerang, Fire, and Hammer) and teleporting Magikoopas act as mini bosses and you’ll be precariously hopping onto giant Ant Troopers to cross spike beds. Spikes toss pointed logs to upset your jumps, Brolders pop from the ground in lava Courses but can be thrown as projectiles, Bullies try to push you to your doom, and Charvaarghs and Fuzzies instantly kill you if touched. Walleyes try to block you, Ty-foos can blow you off the Course, you must plan your jumps and positioning to avoid being hurt by flipping spiked squares, jump over flaming shockwaves emitted by Ring Burners, and avoid Rammerheads when swimming through tight underwater passages. Cat variants of many of these enemies also pop up in Bowser’s Fury, alongside the fleet-footed Fury Shadow and kittens corrupted by Fury Bowser’s goop, though they otherwise function exactly the same, despite their cuter appearance.

Some unique and lively bosses add a surprising level of challenge to the game.

The brutish Boom Boom and the more effeminate Pom Pom regularly appear as boss battles in enclosed arenas, with Boom Boom whirling his stumpy arms like a dervish, temporarily turning invisible, and ricocheting off the walls as a spinning shell. Pom Pom prefers to throw shurikens and spawn duplicates to disorientate you, though bouncing on each of their heads three times will do them in. Cat variants of both also appear in Bowser’s Fury, though the strategy remains the same. This is true of the Cat Prince Bully, a variation on the armoured Prince Bully from World 6. When first encountered, you must force the Prince Bully into one of the pipes lodged into the arena walls to compress him and attack and, in both encounters, players must watch for his charged fireball. The regal Hisstocrat also pops up twice, first in World 2 and then in World Bowser, with subtle differences between them (their gender, for one thing, and raining either boulders or fireballs). In both encounters, players must avoid the falling hazards and scamper up snakes to attack Hisstocrat’s weak spot, being careful not to linger as the snake columns will bite and Hisstocrat will destroy them. Players will also battle Boss Brolder in a sweltering volcano, avoiding his lava trails and hitting the Brolders he spawns to toss them at him. This can be a gruelling fight in World Castle as flaming Splorches also patrol the small platform and King Brolder’s attacks are far more aggressive. The jester-like Motley Bossblob is also fought several times, with this trickster transforming into a bulbous form that bounces around, producing shockwaves, and splitting into gelatinous orbs that scatter across the circus-like arena. Finally, there’s King Ka-thunk, a giant Ka-thunk who flips about the arena and tries to skewer you with his spikes. To beat him, simply stand in the middle to avoid being hit and jump or butt stomp onto his backside, though be wary as his movements speed up. All these bosses return in “Boss Blitz”, the final Course in World Flower, where you must run the gauntlet against them all with no power-ups and no checkpoints.

While pretty simple in his base form, Bowser becomes a menace when powered up or on a rampage!

In addition to hopping along his trains and tackling his tank brigade, players will naturally battle Bowser on numerous occasions. The first time is at the end of World 1, where he awaits atop his keep and drives his bitchin’ muscle car. Bowser accelerates away from you, forcing you to chase, dodging pools of lava left behind by his fireballs. Bowser tosses bombs that you must kick back to deal damage to his car and eventually send him packing. This fight is revisited in World Castle, though made much more gruelling as the “road” is littered with hazards such as spikes, gaps, and flame bursts, alongside Bowser’s usual and much more lingering fireball attacks. Bowser’s bombs can also have a short fuse this time, or are thrown at odd angles, or you’ll have a hard time hitting them due to the obstacles, though projectile-based power-ups help chip away at his car. In the finale of World Bowser, Bowser grabs a Super Bell and transforms into “Meowser”, a gigantic, cat-like form that scampers up and down a tower, bursts from walls to swipe at you with his huge claws or his Tanooki-like tail, and breathes fire. You can scare him off by hitting POW Blocks but cannot attack him directly, and Meowser even duplicates himself with a Double Cherry to make the frantic climb even more tense. This is actually a fun platforming challenge, however, and an incredibly simple boss. Once you reach the roof, you must hit a Super POW Block four times before the duplicated Meowsers finish you off, sending him into the gloop-infested islands of Bowser’s Fury. Here, Fury Bowser awakens and causes havoc, prompting you to activate the Giga Bell and transform into Giga Cat Mario to fend him off. In this titanic fight, you can melee attack Bowser but mainly attack by butt stomping his exposed belly after dodging his shell slam. Bowser charges at you, leaving a trail of goop that slows you down, spits fire, rains spikes across the environment, produces shockwaves, and spawns bombs and pillars you can use against him. After the fifth encounter, players battle Giant Bowser, riding around on Plessie to dodge his projectiles and ramming a crystal to damage his vulnerable belly.

Additional Features:
There are a whopping 380 Green Stars to find in Super Mario 3D World, many hidden out in the open, spawning after collecting eight Green Coins, or hidden behind platforming or combat challenges or in obscure areas. You can earn additional Green Stars in the Captain Toad and Mystery Box challenges, which test your puzzle solving, platforming, and combat prowess, and earn others for battling mini bosses like Boom Boom when they appear on the overworld. Green Stars unlock additional Courses and adds a special stamp to your save file, with another awarded after beating the game. There are also 85 Stamps to find across each World and in Sprixie houses, with players earning a piece of character art for each one, and players can track their progress regarding these collectibles by pressing the – button on the overworld. Courses and Worlds also contain hidden exits and optional routes, hidden areas where you can stock up on Coins and extra lives, and even Luigi cameos to celebrate Mario’s brother. Clearing the main game unlocks Luigi Bros., a modified version of the original arcade Mario Bros. (Nintendo R&D1, 1983), and opens World Star, World Mushroom, World Flower, and World Crown. These Worlds feature much tougher, remixed Courses with tighter time limits, tougher enemies and challenges, and rematches against previous bosses. Clearing the “Super Galaxy” Course unlocks Rosalina, a slow character with a spinning attack, as a playable character, and you’ll also be encouraged to replay previous Courses to set new times and high scores. There are 100 Cat Shines to collect in Bowser’s Fury, with additional ones appearing after you clear the game alongside a useful quick travel feature. Grabbing all the Cat Shines alters the final battle with Giant Bowser and also awards an alternative ending and grants Mario and Bowser Jr. some new cat duds.

Final Thoughts:
You can never really go wrong with a bit of Super Mario. The franchise excels by taking what should be a repetitive and tired formula and presenting it with colourful visuals and crisp controls, constantly delivering top-notch titles despite recycling the same gimmicks. Super Mario 3D World doesn’t stray far from this formula, presenting fun, varied 2D and 2.5D worlds that get progressively more challenging and reward exploration, skill, and trial and error. The game heavily relies on the Super Bell power-up and constantly reminds you of the cat suit by dressing enemies up as kitties but, while the suit is fun to play as, it’s not really doing much new and its abilities are somewhat limited. I liked seeing the Tanooki Suit return and useful power-ups like the Boomerang Flower, though the Mega Mushroom was similarly wasted and the Double Cherry was more of a hindrance. While I had fun with the Courses and the different gimmicks, it was a bit disappointing seeing the same assets recycled and not tying each World to a specific theme. The Captain Toad sections were a fun distraction, and it was enjoyable hunting down Green Stars, though having to backtrack to collect more to unlock new areas can be a pain. The bosses were all visually interesting and generally unique, save for the repetitive battles with Boom Boom and Pom Pom, though the final battle with Meowser was a bit simple. Bowser’s Fury makes up for it with its epic depiction of Fury Bowser and open-world aesthetic. However, the camera ruins the immersion, it was a bit confusing figuring out where to go, and Fury Bowser’s repeated attacks quickly become more aggravating than entertaining. Still, I had a lot of fun with Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury and there’s a lot to see and collect, and a decent challenge on offer. Super Mario 3D World features everything you could want from a 3D/2.5D hybrid Mario title and constantly rewards you with collectibles and power-ups. While Bowser’s Fury feels a bit tacked on, limited, and a like a poor man’s Super Mario Odyssey, I liked how it offered a different twist on the main game’s mechanics and challenged the player in different ways that leaned into open-world exploration.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury? How do you feel it compares other Mario titles, specifically the New Super Mario Bros. games? Which of the playable characters was your favourite and what did you think to the Super Bell power-up? Were you disappointed that each World didn’t stick to a set theme? What did you think to the Captain Toad challenges and the boss battles? Did Fury Bowser also annoy you, and did you enjoy the open-world aspects of Bowser’s Fury? Did you ever collect all the Green Stars and Stamps and best the additional Worlds? Which of Mario’s Switch games was your favourite and how are you celebrating Mario’s birthday this year? Whatever your thoughts on Super Mario 3D World + Bowser’s Fury, feel free to share them below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Mario content!

Game Corner [Mario Month]: Paper Mario (Nintendo Switch)


So, for no better reason than “Mar.10” resembling Mario’s name, March 10th is widely regarded as being “Mario Day”, a day to celebrate Nintendo’s portly plumber, an overalls-wearing mascot who literally changed the videogame industry forever and shaped the home console market of the nineties.


Released: 10 December 2021
Originally Released: 11 August 2000
Developer: Intelligent Systems

Also Available For: Nintendo 64, Nintendo Switch 2, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo Wii U, iQue Player
Metacritic Scores: 93 / 8.8

Quick Facts:
Though Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars (Square, 1996) enjoyed rave reviews, it took nearly five years to get this spiritual successor. When Square bowed out due to other commitments, Nintendo turned to HAL Laboratory and Intelligent Systems, with art director Naohiko Aoyama crafting Paper Mario’s distinctive mixture of 2D and 3D graphics. Originally conceived as Super Mario RPG 2 and produced for the ill-fated Nintendo 64DD add-on, the game aimed to be a cute, kid-friendly adventure. Paper Mario has been met with critical acclaim and is widely considered one of the role-playing games (RPG) of its era.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Paper Mario is a 2D/3D hybrid RPG in which players guide a craft paper version of Mario (and his new allies) through a diorama-like version of the Mushroom Kingdom across nine chapters (including the prologue), assisting non-playable characters (NPCs), becoming stronger through battling, and liberating the captive Star Spirits from Bowser’s minions. Players are given four save files and no difficulty options or settings before venturing into this quasi-cel-shaded adventure. Helpful signposts and some NPCs provide gameplay hints (sometimes for a small fee), and the game’s menus do a decent job of telling you what does what and when. Like in Super Mario RPG and most RPGs from this era, the controls are pretty simple, with players using A to jump, interact with the environment, confirm selections, and talk to other characters, B to speed up onscreen text and exit menus, and performing a spin with ZL to cover more ground. Outside of battles, the right stick toggles the heads-up display, opens the partner and item menus, and allows some partners to perform actions, like Kooper flying at enemies in his shell to initiate battles or Mario holding Watt to light up dark areas. As you progress and locate treasure chests, you acquire battle items for Mario that can be used on the overworld, allowing you to strike enemies or hit switches with Mario’s hammer with B or perform a ground pound or spin jump by pressing A in mid-air. These either initiate battles, activate switches, or uncover hidden Star Pieces, which you trade for Badges. In battle, you select attacks with A and switch characters with ZL, tapping A as enemies attack to reduce damage or ward of status effects like poisoning or dizzying.

Mario has a few fun attacks and special abilities up his sleeve.

Unlike other RPGs, Mario’s stats don’t increase from levelling-up and he doesn’t earn experience points. Instead, most battles award “Star Points”, with players earning more depending on how long the fight goes and how many enemies are defeated. Once you earn 100 Star Points, Mario levels up and you can increase either his maximum Health Points (HP), Flower Points (FP), or Badge Points (BP). As you explore, you’ll find or purchase Badges to equip; each one costs BP to equip, so you may need to shuffle them about or upgrade your BP to hold more. These add additional attacks and buffs to Mario, such as allowing him to strike multiple enemies, shrink them, or knock them into each other. Performing these actions costs FP, with both HP and FP being restored at Toad houses, by hitting Heart Blocks, or by collecting or using items. Your partner’s special attacks also cost FP, so you must be mindful of your attacks or risk running out. When performing special attacks, you must complete various actions, such as holding or tapping A at the right time, moving the left stick, or matching button presses. Success increases the power and effectiveness of your attack, though you must be aware of what Badges you have equipped and which enemies you’re facing as some attacks won’t harm armoured foes or you take damage if your enemy has a spiked head. Badges also increase your maximum HP and FP, trade attack power for defence (and vice versa), and allow you to use more items in battle. Defeating enemies and smashing blocks also awards Coins, which you can spend on items and Badges. Mario’s inventory is painfully limited but you can store items at various shops and use them to restore HP and/or FP, heal status effects, attack all enemies, knock them over, and increase your attack or defence. Upon rescuing each Star Spirit, Mario also gains a Spirit Power, which drains his Star Energy (though this refills automatically, and manually, over time). This allows him to restore some HP and/or MP, put enemies to sleep, temporarily immobilise enemies, attack them all at once, or potentially instantly defeat any non-boss enemy. Unfortunately, only Mario can use Star Spirits and items, which can make battles needlessly tedious when you’re low on HP, FP, or Star Energy.

Mario’s new partners offer some fun abilities and even Peach gets a chance to be useful.

Mario is joined by friendly versions of his most recognisable foes, with each offering different special abilities in and out of battle. Mario superfan Goombario offers hints about each location and attacks with a headbutt, Kooper (my go-to partner) attacks multiple enemies and hits switches from afar with his shell, Bombette destroys cracked walls, Parakarry carries you across small gaps and is great for targeting flying enemies, Lady Bow turns you invisible and intangible (as long as you stay still) to sneak past enemies or pass through objects and attacks, Watt lights up dark areas and boosts Mario’s attacks or paralyses enemies, Sushie can be ridden across water, and Lakilester floats you over spike pits and lava while tossing multiple spike balls at enemies. You can only have one partner at a time and it’ll cost you a turn to switch to them in battle, and you share your HP and FP with them (though enemies rarely attack them), though you can freely switch on the overworld. Each can be upgraded using hidden Super Blocks, adding additional attacks to their repertoire, though I rarely used Goombario or Parakarry in battle. As you clear chapters, you’re treated to an interlude where you control Princess “Peach” Toadstool as she sneaks about and spies upon Bowser and his minions, learning key information to relate to Mario using her tiny star companion, Twink. These are essentially stealth missions, with players avoiding detection and later utilising a magical parasol to transform into one of Bowser’s guards. Peach must also whip up a cake using specific instructions to woo Gourmet Guy and even participates in the game’s final battle by powering Twink up with her enthusiasm. Mario’s also aided (though mostly forced to rescue) Kolorado, a Koopa archaeologist, is carried to the Yoshi-filled Lavalava Island by a friendly whale, and sporadically aided by the wizard Merlee, who buffs your attack, defence, or rewards at random depending on how much you pay. Chet Rippo also doubles your HP, FP, or BP at the cost of decreasing one of the other stats, though I saw little overall benefit to wasting money on this.

Puzzles, platforming, fetch quests, and tasks are abundant in this colourful adventure.

Things start off pretty simple in Paper Mario, with it being obvious where you need to go and the limited map being quite useful. As the game progresses, the map becomes less useful, and you must chat with more NPCs and use your partners to visit new areas. Warp pipes take you to the sewers for additional goodies or fast travel you to previous areas, there’s a train you must get moving to progress, and a haunted forest to traverse by paying attention to the background. While Toad Town acts as your central hub, each location includes an item shop and Toad house and other NPCs who aid you if you speak to them or help them out. At Dry Dry Outpost, you must go back and forth chatting with NPCs to track down head thief Moustafa and acquire a key item to get through the looping desert. When in Lavalava Island, you must search all around, crossing water on Sushie, to find the mischievous Yoshi kids, you’ll gather various items to use in Boo’s Mansion to access the throne room and recruit Lady Bow, and you’ll be hopping in and out of the Shy Guy’s Toy Box to retrieve the items the Shy Guys stole from Toad Town and get the model train within moving to new platforms. Like Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario marries some traditional platforming and puzzle solving with RPG gameplay, with you jumping to platforms, finding keys to open doors and free Toads, and using blocks or stairs to explore. You must hit various switches to uncover hidden paths or activate bridges, plug up magma to avoid being roasted, dive under bridges, smash through wooden panels, and even shift the environment to take alternative paths. Even dead ends can lead to goodies or hidden areas if you send Bombette out or light them up with Watt. When you reach the Shiver Region, Mario’s comically accused of killing the mayor and players must prove his innocence, only for the mayor to simply have been in shock! Players must sneak past (then frantically run from) Tubba Glubba, venture down the different paths of Flower Fields doing glorified fetch quests to plant a beanstalk up to the clouds, smash giant blocks, and raise or lower staircases to progress.

Presentation:
Paper Mario takes a page out of Yoshi’s solo ventures to present a colourful mishmash of traditional 2D sprites and 3D graphics, with the game’s locations all being rendered with a 3D pop-up book aesthetic. This certainly adds some fun character and depth to each location as the camera pans and moves in interesting ways, with buildings often collapsing like cardboard as you enter and exit and Mario flattening down to take a nap. When in battle, the backgrounds maintain the pop-up book aesthetic but with a 2.5D bent, making them (and the entire game) appear to be an elaborate stage play. Despite being a flat, 2D sprite, Mario and his companions showcase a great deal of charm and character in their victory poses and their fun, whimsical dialogue (although Mario never speaks). I especially liked the outrage Mario’s partners voice when he’s amusingly accused of murder and the sass Peach shows when constantly discovered by Bowser, who’s as childish as ever despite having unlimited power. Ironically, however, Mario’s animations are surprisingly limited, which speaks to the simplistic gameplay of the game’s battles. This is true of his partners and enemies, though Koopas will topple over, enemies spin around in a daze before poofing out of existence, and some mini and main bosses even taunt you or transform mid-battle. Although it took me some time to adjust to the visual presentation of Paper Mario, I enjoyed how colourful and daft everything was; the game leans into humour in a big way and is consistently presented as a casual RPG throughout. I was a bit disappointed to see Luigi and other Mario characters sidelined, but it was fun seeing all the enemies you usually bop without a second’s thought are actually thriving races. It was amusing seeing Goombas and Koopas be so enamoured by Mario, to have him partner up with friendly versions of a Bob-omb and Lakitu, and to explore the environment using their unique abilities. The game’s storybook aesthetic is carried through to its cutscenes and interludes, and the cheerful soundtrack, though I must admit that no tunes stuck in my head after my playthrough.

A colourful, engaging adventure with some fun humour and beautiful visuals.

While Paper Mario isn’t exactly taxing the Nintendo 64 and plays things way too safe in a lot of ways, it performs really well and there’s a lot of visual variety in keeping with the Mario franchise. You start at Mario’s house where he and Luigi venture to Toad Town, only for Bowser to abscond with Peach’s entire castle and Mario forced to venture into deserts, haunted forests, and perilous mountains to liberate the Star Spirits. Toad Town alone has loads to see, from the post office to Club 64 at the docks and the dojo, but then you have places like Koopa Village (which you must save from a Fuzzy attack) and Lavalava Island’s Jade Jungle (which is full of hidden paths and little islands and leads to the hazardous Mt. Lavalava). Every location is full of NPCs and some change according to the story as Mario settles unrest, solves problems, or completes often tedious tasks. Flower Fields is perhaps the most engrossing area, sporting a hedge and pipe maze, thorny pits you must float over, and berries to collect and deliver, though I strangely enjoyed the confusing, twisted Forever Forest and even Dry Dry Desert. Each area sees you performing some convoluted tasks to reach a fortress or structure, in which you must get keys, hit switches, and progress towards the boss. Once you save all the Star Spirits, you ascend to Bowser’s Castle, taking a back entrance, rescuing captive Toads, avoiding lava and fire hazards, before reaching Peach’s all-too-quiet castle. Anyone who’s played Super Mario 64 will recognise the layout, though it’s been expanded to include a kitchen and other rooms and given a dark, ominous atmosphere thanks to being corrupted by Bowser’s evil. Other, more surreal areas also exist, such as Star Haven (a cosmic town populated by sentient stars and reached by traversing a mystical bridge formed by the Star Spirts) and Shooting Star Summit, where shooting stars fall harmless and the Star Spirits beg for your help. Additionally, the battle backgrounds change depending on where you are, adding a bit of variety to them even if the battle gameplay can get a bit tiresome at times.

Enemies and Bosses:
Many recognisable Mario enemies pop up in Paper Mario, respawning when you leave areas, though oddly failing to drop SP if you return at higher levels or battle undead enemies like Dry Bones or Gloombas. None of the regular enemies are especially difficult, sporting one or two attacks, but they do become more durable as you progress and appear alongside others who can make even simple enemies more troublesome. Goombas attack with a headbutt, sporting spiked hats to fend off Mario’s jumps or taking to the skies to avoid his hammer. Koopas are similar, though attack from a distance with their shells, while Fuzzies bite you to steal your HP and restore theirs and Bob-ombs explode in a kamikaze attack after being hit. Bullet Bills are endlessly fired by blasters, Monty Moles toss dirt, Boney Beetles, Clefts, and Koopatrols must be knocked over to make them vulnerable, and Bandits temporarily keep you from using items or certain attacks. Pokeys must be cut down to size, Bzzap!s defeated before they can poison you, and Duplighosts transform into your partner and gain their attacks! Colourful Magikoopas hover on broomsticks, fire magical blasts, and heal or buff their allies, some enemies (like the Groove Guy) call in backup or are engulfed in flames to deal fire damage, the various Clubbas hit hard with spiked maces, and Hammer Bros toss a bunch of hammers (or a single, powerful hammer). Some enemies are vulnerable to elemental attacks, such as the Bubbles and Embers and Frost Piranhas, while bigger, slightly more formidable enemy variants act as mini bosses, such as the Blue and Red Goomba Bros who hound Goombario, the giant Gloopers who lurk in the sewers, spitting ink and bopping your head, and the vulture-like Buzzar who attacks on Mt. Rugged, flinging his feathers and proving a formidable (if optional) challenge in the early game.

Despite Jr. Troopa’s persistence, the early game bosses aren’t too challenging.

Similarly, Mario may encounter Stone Chomps in Dry Dry Ruins and must battle the Big Lantern Ghost to recruit Watt, which can be annoying as you must attack his lantern to light up the arena but not so often that he extinguishes the flame, and his attacks often incapacitate your partner. Players can also choose to pay off or fight Kent C. Koopa, a large, short-sighted Koopa who squashes Mario with a ground pound and needs two hits to topple over. When on the outskirts of Starborn Valley, players can either flee from or fight the ghost-like Monstar, though this is merely for show, and must answer questions about the game and its characters when confronted by the Guard Door. The half-hatched Jr. Koopa constantly hounds you between chapters, adding new attacks and becoming tougher as the game progresses. At first, he’s quite weak but then he gains wings to limit your attack options, wields a magical rod, protects himself and attacks with a spiked attachment, unleashes a lightning blast, and even heals himself. While it takes some time for bosses to become more problematic, you do face a lot of them, and they can be difficult if you have the wrong partner or waste turns so be sure to use the Heart and Save Blocks often helpfully placed right before them. Your first challenge is the enchanted Goomba King, who fights alongside the Blue and Red Goomba Bros, though you can easily defeat all three by attacking the Goomut Tree. Next, you track down the elusive and strangely familiar Koopa Bros, who attack in a makeshift Bowser mech and then in a totem formation, with you needing to topple them over and using Kooper to hit all four at once. Tutankoopa guards Dry Dry Ruins, summons a Chain Chomp to attack and distract you, and you must find and battle Tubba Blubba’s disembodied heart to save the Boos of Gusty Gulch. You’ll need Watt to tackle the Shy Squad, who rob Toad Town and attack as a swarm, on stilts, and in a totem like the Koopa Bros, before General Guy steps in with his toy tank…thing. General Guy tosses bombs and fires lightning bolts from the tank’s lightbulb, so I’d suggest targeting that first.

Managing your partner and FP is crucial to succeed against the tougher late-game bosses.

Things ramp up when you face the Lava Piranha, which is accompanied by two Lava Buds that join it in spitting projectiles. After you damage it enough, the spiked plant catches fire, necessitating the use of elemental attacks, and it adds a more powerful fire breath attack to its arsenal. I particularly struggled against Huff N. Puff, who spawns Tuff Puffs every time he’s hit which not only attack you but are consumed by him to restore his HP! You must tap A to reduce the damage of his wind breath, and to mitigate his lightning attack, and pop his Tuff Puffs (while still damaging him) so they don’t bolster his attacks or HP. The Crystal King wasn’t a pushover either as he summons Crystal Bits, freezes you, duplicates himself (with two of the three being intangible), and heals himself to undo all your hard work. While Bowser is unbeatable at the start of the game, he’s more vulnerable in the endgame, though he can make himself invincible with the Star Rod so you must cast Star Beam (which doesn’t cost FP but wastes a turn) to remove the spell. Bowser attacks with claw swipes (which can poison you so be sure to equip a nullifying Badge), fire breath, and a shockwave that incapacitates your partner. He also heals, grows, and becomes immune to the Star Beam thanks to Kammy Koopa. After knocking the old witch off with Peach and Twink, you gain the Peach Beam to dispel Bowser’s magic and continue the fight (with full HP and FP). Though Bowser’s lightning bolt, ground pound, and healing are aggravating, using Watt to power up Mario’s Mega Jump saw me to a hard-fought victory.

Additional Features:
There are 160 Star Pieces in Paper Mario, with many found by whacking or ground pounding certain tiles while others are out in the open or inside chests. If you take these to Shooting Star Summit, you can trade them for Badges, of which there are sixty-nine (nice!) varieties. These can either be found or bought, but you’ll need to upgrade Mario’s BP stat to equip the most Badges as some cost more BP than others. You can also acquire duplicates, allowing you to further boost Mario’s HP or FP, which are capped at fifty apiece (while the BP cap is thirty and Mario’s maximum level is twenty-seven). Although there’s no post-game content, there’s plenty to do, such as finding all the Special Blocks to upgrade your partners, finding all twenty-five of Parakarry’s lost letters, having Tayce T. cook up unique items, and taking on Chuck Quizmo’s quizzes. Your rewards are pretty much always Star Pieces or Badges, however, and there are no additional characters, worlds, or bosses to unlock. However, if you challenge the Toad Town dojo, you’ll face five additional battles against some tough opponents, culminating in a superboss showdown with the dojo’s Master, earning a diploma for each victory and changing some NPC dialogue to reflect your achievement. You can also purchase up to ten Li’l Oinks to populate a small farm in Toad Town, gaining rare items every time a Li’ Oink leaves the pen, and unlock Rip Cheato’s shop for some rare (and expensive) items. Otherwise, you can abuse the Nintendo Switch’s save state feature to help with some of the game’s trickier battles, though it’s still worth fighting every enemy and thinking strategically about which stat up level-up.

Final Thoughts:
I was hesitant about playing Paper Mario, despite how much I enjoyed Super Mario RPG. I assumed it would be a fun, colourful, whimsical little adventure with simple RPG mechanics and puzzles. And, mostly, I was right: Paper Mario isn’t going to be taxing most hardened RPG players, but there’s nothing wrong with a casual gaming experience. However, I was surprised by the difficulty spike near the end game, mainly because it feels forced due to the strange way levelling-up works and how limited your partners and their abilities are. So many battles would’ve been much easier if your partner could use items or Star Spirits and, while some Badges mitigate this, it can get annoying. While the visual presentation can be a little jarring (and disappointing given it’s not a true 3D RPG), the pop-up-book aesthetic works really well and made everything very charming and humorous. Similarly, while I was disappointed to see Luigi get the shaft again, I quite enjoyed Mario’s new partners and seeing a different side to his enemies, who have their own societies and towns and such. While I felt the game dragged in the middle, padding out the runtime with fetch quests and tedious puzzle solving, it usually led to a fun boss battle and some new abilities to make things easier. I enjoyed the variety in each area, who there was a lot to see and do and discover, and the little interactions between Mario and the NPCs. I was also a fan of the Peach-centric interludes, which were a nice break from the main gameplay loop, and how each partner’s abilities encouraged backtracking and exploration. While I don’t believe Paper Mario is better than Super Mario RPG, it was definitely a fun experience in short bursts. It lacked a lot of deeper RPG mechanics and features I expect from the genre, outstayed its welcome at times, and the BP gimmick needlessly handicapped the player’s abilities, but it was very bright and carefree and is probably worth your time if you need a break between more challenging RPGs.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Paper Mario? How do you think it compares to Super Mario RPG and later games in the series? Which of Mario’s partners was your favourite and did you like seeing his enemies expanded upon? Do you agree that the combat and gameplay got repetitive after a while? Which Badges did you equip for your playthrough? Did you ever find all the letters and defeat all the dojo’s combatants? Which Super Mario spin-off is your favourite and how are you celebrating Nintendo’s mascot this month? Feel free to share your memories and opinions of Paper Mario in the comments and subscribe to my Ko-Fi for more Mario content.

Back Issues [Stark Sunday]: Tales of Suspense #46


Anthony “Tony” Stark/Iron Man first lived, walked, and conquered in March 1963 and has gone through numerous armours and shot to mainstream superstardom thanks to Robert Downey Jr.  


Story Title: “Iron Man Faces the Crimson Dynamo!”
Published: 9 July 1963 (cover-dated: October 1963)

Writers: Stan Lee and Robert Bernstein
Artist: Don Heck

Quick Facts:
Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Don Heck’s questionable hero has fought many colourful villains over the years, such as many iterations of his Soviet counterpart, the Crimson Dynamo. First appearing as Doctor Anton Vanko and mirroring escalating tensions between America and Russia, versions of this villain have long-dogged Iron Man and directly influenced his live-action counterpart, Ivan Vanko/Whiplash (Mickey Rourke).

The Review:
Our story is set mid-way through the infamous “Cold War”, a period of animosity between the United States and Soviet Russia. Nikita Khrushchev (“the “Mr. Big” of the Iron Curtain”), visits Professor Anton Vanko (the titular “Crimson Dynamo”), a man even Khrushchev hates and fears. However, since Vanko is the “world’s greatest expert on electricity”, Khrushchev begrudgingly tolerates Vanko’s lofty arrogance. Amusingly, the animosity and resentment between the two is mutual, though Khrushchev begrudgingly sets his hostilities aside to see Vanko’s latest breakthrough. Although Khrushchev is initially sceptical when Vanko dons an elaborate, spiked, armoured suit said to give his control of electricity, the First Secretary is amazed when the Crimson Dynamo obliterates a robotic duplicate of Iron Man. Khrushchev’s nerves are further shot and his doubts fully settled when the Crimson Dynamo commands a tank to stop mere inches from the First Secretary’s face and then reduces it to wreckage. Though impressed by the demonstration, Khrushchev is left rattled and secretly vows to dispose of Vanko once he’s outlived his usefulness as he presents a threat to Khrushchev’s position. Before that, Khrushchev appeals to Vanko’s vanity and orders him to head to America and scupper Tony Stark’s operations at Stark Industries, and destroy his “bodyguard”, Iron Man, to weaken America’s military and eliminate one of their greatest scientific minds and heroes. The story jumps ahead two weeks and halfway across the world to the testing site of Stark’s latest missile, where Stark’s chauffeur, Harold “Happy” Hogan, and his secretary, Virginia “Pepper” Potts, are busying arguing as Pepper decides to question Happy’s courage and be unnecessarily mean to him. Still, inspired by their concerns over the missile’s safety, Stark heads to his office to slap on a special “collapsible extensible armour” to oversee the missile launch as the gold-plated Avenger.

The Crimson Dynamo systematically attacks Stark’s facilities, sabotaging his reputation.

And good thing, too, as the Crimson Dynamo just happens to be waiting in the nearby forest. As soon as the missile launches, the Crimson Dynamo messes with its circuits, causing the missile to suddenly plummet to the ground, endangering the crew onboard (making it more of a rocket than a missile…) and those below. Luckily, ol’ shellhead intercepts the missile and slows its descent, allowing it to land clumsily, but far less dangerously. The effort leaves Iron Man dazed and provides the Crimson Dynamo with a perfect demonstration of his abilities. While Stark puzzles over what could’ve fried the missile’s circuits, the Crimson Dynamo spends days targeting Stark’s plants, destroying his rockets, electrical equipment, weapons, and facilities (all with no loss of life, conveniently), all from a distance and anonymously. Stark’s so dumbfounded by the massive, nationwide assault that he suspects every enemy nation is targeting him. As if the risk of losing his military contracts isn’t bad enough, the fat cats in Washington, D.C. also decide to investigate Stark, fearing he may be sabotaging his plants to weaken the American military (because paranoia was rife during the Cold War!) Though Happy and Pepper vow to stick by Stark, he’s desperate for his unseen adversary to expose himself. Similarly, Vanko is frustrated that Iron Man didn’t show up during his rampage so he dons his armour once more and openly attacks Stark’s research centre, correctly conveniently surmising that ol’ shellhead must be there. After urging Happy and Pepper to flee, Stark slips on his armour and finally comes meets his armoured foe, immediately recognising that the Crimson Dynamo wields similar electric powers to him.

Iron Man easily bests the Crimson Dynamo and turns him away from the Commies with a simple ruse!

This allows Iron Man to erect an invisible force field to negate the Crimson Dynamo’s electrical bolts and also propels him into the air to avoid being fried when the Crimson Dynamo electrifies the ground. Iron Man then emits static to interfere with the Crimson Dynamo’s electric signals and challenges him to counter his abilities, frustrating Vanko and driving him to boast of his mission to destroy Stark’s operations, allowing Iron Man to take a recording of the confession for later. Aware of the universal truth that “all Commies are chronically suspicious of each other”, Iron Man lures the Crimson Dynamo into the woods, uprooting and chopping down giant oak trees to cage his armoured foe since, for all Vanko’s vaulted genius, he never built a pair of rocket boots or a rocket pack into his armour! Iron Man then grabs the Crimson Dynamo and flies him to the coast, threatening to dunk him in the water and kill them both from the resultant electric shock. The Crimson Dynamo immediately begs for his life and is convinced to surrender, much to Iron Man’s pleasure. Once safely on the pier, Iron Man offers the Crimson Dynamo a pair of special earplugs to eavesdrop on Khrushchev’s orders to execute Vanko once he’s defeated the armoured Avenger. Although this is another ruse by Iron Man, the Crimson Dynamo buys the deception and is incensed to learn that his Communist masters planned to kill him; he even doubles down and thanks Iron Man for opening his eyes! Incredibly, Iron Man offers Vanko the chance to put his genius to work for a country that appreciates him and the Crimson Dynamo accepts, revealing that the Commies are holding a fortune in gold for sabotage purposes and being given a job at Stark Industries for his intel! Naturally, Khrushchev is left incensed by this betrayal and vows to make Iron Man pay for stealing away his top scientist.

Final Thoughts: 
Well, this was shit. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, but this was such a nothing, throwaway story that really could’ve been so much more. The Crimson Dynamo should’ve been positioned as Stark’s equal and Communist opposite, a brilliant inventor and industrialist who’s deeply committed to his country and willing to do anything to defend it, even if it means launching pre-emptive attacks against the United States. Imagine a Tony Stark without a moral compass, a man who puts his genius and technology to work to destroy, rather than defend. That could’ve been a really unique twist, especially if the story had been spread out over two issues. Instead, we get this mess of a story that’s full of weird moments. Like, why is there a crew onboard the missile? What sense does that make? Wouldn’t they die once it hits its target? They’re literally there to add some stakes when the Crimson Dynamo sabotages the missile, but just changing the dialogue to say it’s a “rocket” would’ve made all the difference. Then, the Crimson Dynamo attacks a whole bunch of Stark’s facilities and Iron Man isn’t there for any of them? Stark seemingly makes no effort to try and track down their saboteur, instead assuming it’s multiple assailants all acting in conjunction and spending his days worrying about losing his lucrative military contracts. He’s left blindly hoping for his foe to make a mistake, which isn’t a great strategy, and lucks out when Vanko gets annoyed by Iron Man’s absences. I also didn’t like seeing the American government suspect Stark of being a traitor. This cropped up a lot back then and I get it’s emblematic of the Cold War, but it was stupid to think Stark would cost himself millions of dollars and willingly destroy his reputation, and it made Iron Man’s belief that all Communists are distrustful of each other that much weaker. If the Reds had been betrayed as backstabbing, immoral assholes and the Yanks as united, honourable people, it would’ve made the parallels and differences between Iron Man and the Crimson Dynamo that much more impactful. As is, it just reads like we’re all as bad as each other. Which is true, but still…

Sadly, the Crimson Dynamo fails to be all that he could be and the story is weaker because of it.

The Crimson Dynamo certainly look the part. He’s got pretty cool, spiked armour like an iron maiden and all these fancy, somewhat vague “electrical powers”. He can blow up robots with a button, tear tanks apart with electrical bolts, screw up circuitry from afar, and destroys many of Stark’s facilities without being seen. His armour is pretty cool, being all red where Iron Man is all gold and having ridges and spikes all over him while Iron Man is sleek and smooth. Vanko is said to be this renowned expert in electricity and he certainly bothers Khrushchev, who’s intimidated by Vanko’s ambition, arrogance, and power. However, while the Crimson Dynamo deals a heavy blow against Stark, he’s undone by his arrogance as he gives up his one advantage so he can satisfy his desire to destroy Iron Man and is immediately humiliated once the fight starts! Seriously, Iron Man barely breaks a sweat with this guy as he deflects his one attack, messes up his systems, and easily cages him with trees because Vanko can’t fly! What the hell kind of flaw is that? How do you base so much of your armour and weaponry on Iron Man but omit the fucking rocket boots!? Then, Vanko is easily tricked into surrendering, and betraying his country, and revealing Commie secrets, all because he was made to believe that Khrushchev wanted him dead! I assume that Vanko is later revealed to be working as a double agent or something; that’s the only explanation for the abrupt ending, which barely acknowledges the crimes Vanko committed! I was expecting so much more from this story, a true mirror match and clash of politic and moral ideologies from these similar, but radically different scientists and investors. Instead, it’s another bog-standard, “villain-of-the-week” story designed to show how awful the Soviets are compared to the righteous and capable Americans.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Were you also disappointed by the Crimson Dynamo’s first appearance? Did you also think that Vanko failed to live up to his full potential as a dark counterpart to Stark? Were you also amazed at how ineffectual the Crimson Dynamo was against Iron Man? What are some of your favourite Iron Man vs. Crimson Dynamo stories? Which of Iron Man’s armours is your favourite and how are you celebrating Iron Man this month? Share your thoughts in the comments, like this review, and donate to my Ko-Fi to support the site.

Mini Game Corner [Mario Month]: Mario Party (Nintendo Switch)


So, for no better reason than “Mar.10” resembling Mario’s name, March 10th is widely regarded as being “Mario Day”, a day to celebrate Nintendo’s portly plumber, an overalls-wearing mascot who literally changed the videogame industry forever and shaped the home console market of the nineties.


Released: 2 November 2022
Originally Released: 18 December 1998
Developer: Nintendo

Original Developer: Hudson Soft
Also Available For: Nintendo 64
Metacritic Scores: 79 / 7.8

Quick Facts
After Super Mario 64’s (Nintendo EAD, 1996) critical and financial success. Nintendo followed up with a series of spin-off titles, with Mario Party being one of the most lauded. Mario Party was geared towards multiplayer gameplay and set the blueprint for a sub-series of Mario videogames (and numerous copycats). Widely praised, especially when played with friends, Mario Party’s mini games were celebrated for their variety and challenge, though some complained of hand injuries. Nintendo long avoided re-releasing the first title in favour of its sequels or new games, though some of its mini games were revamped in the Mario Party: The Top 100 (NDcube, 2017).

The Review:
As you might’ve guessed, Mario Party is a party game where players compete against their friends or computer-controlled opponents, rolling dice and making moves and playing various Mini-Games, across six initial board-like stages and two unlockable areas, to become the “Super Star”. Players pick from six recognisable characters, though they all play the same, which is a shame considering Wario (my go-to) and Donkey Kong are known for their strength and Luigi is known for his low traction and high jumping, characteristics that sadly don’t factor into the Mini-Games. Players are guided by Toad and a friendly Koopa Troopa, who teach the rules, award Coins and Stars, and detail the controls and objectives. When starting a game, you can set the number of human and computer players, set the difficulty level, and establish how many “turns” it takes to finish. You then select a board, with each sporting different gimmicks and difficulty ratings, and finally hit a rolling dice to decide the order of play. Unfortunately, there’s no way to speed up the games and you must sit and watch as each player takes their turn, navigates the board and its hazards and gimmicks, and competes in single-player Mini-Games, which gets very tedious. Mario Party’s controls are super simple: you press A to hit dice and confirm selections or to jump or swim in some Mini-Games, press B to exit menu screens, view the entire map from the main board, or attack or speed up in some Mini-Games, use A and ZL to perform a butt stomp, and press the Right trigger for an alternative view of the main board map. Your goal is to do circuits of the board, collecting Coins from Blue Spaces and Mini-Games and reaching Toad to buy a Star, avoiding Red Spaces (which sap your Coins) and Bowser spaces, where possible. The player with the most Stars (or Coins, in the event of a tie), wins, and players are awarded additional Stars for having the most Coins, winning the most Mini-Games, or landing on the most “Happening Spaces”.

Navigate colourful boards, dealing with hazards and earning Coins and Stars to claim victory.

Happening Spaces do different things depending on the board but generally swap Toad’s position with Bowser’s, which can be good or bad depending on where you are on the board. If you land on a “Chance Time Space”, you play a roulette-style game where you hit spinning dice to swap Coins or Stars between players, which can again aid or hinder you. Bowser Spaces see the Koopa King challenging you to tougher Mini-Games where you lose more Coins if you fail, or initiate a faster Chance Time game where he steals your Coins, or he forces you to buy a useless item. You’ll also encounter ghostly Boos who steal Coins from any player for free or grab a Star from them for a small fee, Bob-Ombs blast you across Wario’s Battle Canyon, and Koopa Troopa awards 10 Coins each time you pass him. When you’re close to the end, this is upped to 20 and each Blue and Red Space gifts or removes additional Coins. Players can take alternate paths in most boards, either by selecting an arrow, paying to pass a Thwomp or a Whomp, activating a trap, or depositing Coins  to open or shut doors. When playing Princess “Peach” Toadstool’s Birthday Cake board, you can plant one of four seeds to be shunted towards Bowser or Toad or plant Strawberry Seeds to spawn Piranha Plants that steal Stars from passing players. Upon completion, your Coins and Stars are deposited in the Mushroom Bank to spend them at the Mushroom Shop to purchase helpful items. These earn you additional interest on your Coins, double or half your current Coin stock, unlock the credits and sound test, and can remove Boos or Koopa Troopas from some boards. Other items randomly award or take away Coins, randomly switch player positions, and randomly spawn a Boo, Bowser, or Koopa Troopa, none of which I found particularly useful. While some boards are quite simple to navigate, others force you to take different paths to avoid Bowser or reach Toad, while others have you hopping around seemingly at random to reach Toad. Wario’s Battle Canyon was the worst for this as the Bob-Omb cannons keep switching targets and some areas are filled with Mini-Game Spaces or Red Spaces, which drags the tedious game out even more.

Though often frustrating, the Mini-Games are the best part of this tedious party game.

The main draw of Mario Party are the Mini-Games, which are played either solo, in a free-for-all, in teams, or pit one character against the other three. It seems to be random which player is fought against in these latter Mini-Games unless you land on a Bowser Space, where you’re usually on the defensive. Each Mini-Game has a time limit and has you capturing the most Coins. You’ll dig through dirt to locate treasure chests, dive to the ocean floor (with or without a partner) to grab treasure while avoiding Bloopers and sharks, toss a Bob-omb between players to avoid being blown up, and play a Mario-themed version of musical chairs where you must race to the big red mushroom and its treasure when the music stops. You’ll be desperately cutting out shapes as accurately as possible, warping Bowser’s face like the face manipulation minigame in Super Mario 64, alternating button presses to inflate a Bowser balloon, and smashing Coin Blocks. In Skateboard Scamper, you must frantically tap B to skateboard along a crumbling path, jumping over Thwomps and snagging floating Coins, while Box Mountain has you smash boxes for Coins, Grab Bag has you playing “capture the flag” with loot, and Platform Peril has you awkwardly hopping between falling platforms not unlike Rainbow Ride. Some Mini-Games have you frantically wrestling the game’s odd momentum and physics to avoid falling in water, such as Mushroom Mix-Up, Bumper Balls, Hammer Drop, and Bombs Away. Tipsy Tourney sees you completing a picture puzzle by running over squares, Mario bandstand has you tapping A at the right time to play a song, Shy Guy Says has to tapping either A or B to avoid being set adrift, and Cast Aways sees you clumsily flicking the left stick to try and snag floating loot. You’ll be running from Boos as you carry a lightbulb through a haunted corridor, playing jump rope with flames, spinning about like crazy in Slot Car Derby, and trying to (or hoping that) drop a treasure chest through a pipe maze.

Greater challenges await if you can stand to put in the time to grind for Coins and Stars.

In one-on-three Mini-Games, you must all attack a player dressed as Bowser (or avoid those attacks), play bowling, smash Coin Blocks with a massive hammer, gingerly cross a tightrope (or blast the player with your cannon), try not to snap your console futility wriggling free in the Crane Game, butt stomp a raincloud to have a Piranha Plant eat a player (or desperately outrun it), play tug o’ war, and splash about in a paddle boat. Two-on-two games see you randomly paired with another player for some bobsled racing, wiggling the left stick to hobble across a desert, stealing and dunking a bombsketball, and pumping a handcar and steering into tight corners to avoid falling in lava. I rarely got to play a single-player Mini-Game but these see you matching picture squares, playing a slot machine, smacking the right Boo out of a gaggle of ghosts, playing whack-a-mole with Piranha Plants, and pounding tree stumps. Mini-Games are purchased from the Mini-Game House to be freely played but, while they’re the best part of the game, it does get tedious when you play the same ones over and over or must watch players tackle them alone. Mario Party is also quite challenging even on the easiest difficulties as it’s very easy to do laps of a board and not buy any Stars or for players to steal all your Coins and Stars. While the Nintendo Switch’s save state feature helps with this, it won’t help with the game’s janky-ass mechanics that see what should be random actions be pre-determined, ensuring you land on the wrong spaces or are robbed. The computer generally always targets you, which doesn’t help, and it gets very annoying being denied a Star thanks to the board shifting. If you collect 100 Stars, you unlock the Eternal Star board and you can buy Bowser’s Magma Mountain for a mere 980 Coins, finishing each board sees the Power Stars change the map and title screen, and there’s even a special Mini-Game Island that challenges you to play and win all fifty Mini-Games. This mode utilises a life system, with players earning extra lives for every 100 Coins and losing lives when they fail a Mini-Game, and also includes some helpful shortcuts. Clearing every Mini-Game and setting records and beating Toad to the goal unlocks the Bumper Ball Maze Mini-Games, though I’d say this mode is only for die-hard Mario Party players.

Final Thoughts:  
I was hesitant to play Mario Party as I didn’t like the idea of being screwed over by chance or landing on bogus spaces, but I figured I could manipulate the save state system to counteract this. Unfortunately, the game isn’t designed that way; if Mario rolls a six, he rolls a six each time you reload and if Yoshi chooses to swap your Stars with Peach then you’re losing those Stars. Things started out decent enough; the game’s very colourful and whimsical, even with the low-poly models, and I liked how each board had different gimmicks. Unfortunately, things become very tedious very quickly as there’s no way to fast forward or skip computer-controlled player turns, dragging each game out even with the least amount of turns selected. It’s also frustratingly easy to lose Coins and Stars thanks to spiteful players, some games see you earn less Stars because Toad keeps fucking moving (!), and I got annoyed at being forced to watch or play a Mini-Game every thirty seconds. Luckily, the Mini-Games are fun and, in many ways, the campaign is just window dressing for these games, which I’m sure led to many fallouts between friends back in the day. While some or more aggravating than others, they’re bite-sized challenges that can (mostly) be easily mastered, meaning it’s probably better to stick with Mini-Game Island than tackle the main boards. My opinion may be skewed because I played alone against three computer-controlled opponents, but I quickly lost patience with Mario Party. It annoyed me that the characters didn’t have different stats or abilities to make them unique and I wasn’t enthusiastic about grinding for all the Coins and Stars to unlock the bonus boards. I’m also even less enthusiastic about the series as a whole and have no plans to play other Mario Party games, though maybe that Top 100 game would be more my speed.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Do you think I was too harsh on the original Mario Party? Which of the playable characters was your go-to and were you also disappointed they didn’t have unique attributes? Did you also find the main game tedious or do you have fond memories of playing with your friends? Which of the boards, Mini-Games, and gimmicks was your favourite? Did you ever unlock the bonus boards and best Mini-Game Island? Which Mario Party game is your favourite and how are you celebrating Mario’s birthday this year? Whatever your thoughts on Mario Party, share them below and, if you want to see me tackle other Mario Party titles, drop a donation on Ko-Fi!

Wrestling Recap [3:16 Day]: Austin vs. Triple H (No Way Out ’01)


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“Talk about your psalms, talk about “John 3:16”…Austin 3:16 says I just whupped your ass!”
With those immortal words, spoken on 23 June 1996, beer-swigging, finger-gesturing anti-hero “Stone Cold” Steve Austin became a mainstream icon!


The Date: 25 February 2001
The Venue: Thomas & Mack Center; Paradise, Nevada
The Stakes: “Three Stages of Hell” grudge match (singles match, street fight, cage match)

The Commentary: Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler
The Referee: Earl Hebner
Dave Meltzer’s Rating: 4.75

The Build-Up:
One of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s most persistent foes was “The Game” Triple H, and their feud became deeply personal in 2001, when Triple H revealed he orchestrated the hit-and-run attack that put Austin on the shelf for most of 2000. This seemingly came due to a lukewarm reception to the driver being revealed as Rikishi, leading to Austin attempting to kill both men as recompense. Austin and Triple H continued to screw with each other in the build, leading to this match being signed to settle their differences once and for all.

The Match:
After years of battling for the Intercontinental and World Wrestling Federation (WWF) Championships in all kinds of matches, Steve Austin and Triple H sought to end their blood feud in this “Three Stages of Hell” match. Essentially a two out of three falls match, the contest was specifically set up to have a different stipulation for each round. First, the rivals fought in a regular one-on-one match; then, the rules were thrown out for a street fight; and finally, if necessary, they would battle in a steel cage. Given how heated the issues were between Austin and Triple H, the match naturally began with a slugfest as Austin unloaded on the Game, kicking the shit out of Hunter in a corner. Although Triple H reversed a whip into another corner, Austin immediately knocked him down with a clothesline and went for the mounted punches, awkwardly pouncing on Triple H after the Game dodged a Stone Cold Stunner. Though momentarily stunned from landing on the ropes, Austin countered a Pedigree attempt and followed Triple H to the outside, bashing his head off the steel steps and focusing on his left arm, repeatedly ramming it into a ring post. This meant Triple H couldn’t hook the Pedigree on the second attempt and Austin continued to wear down the arm with kicks and an uncharacteristic armlock, wrenching on the arm and finally landing the Lou Thesz Press and scoring the first two count. Austin followed up with a spinebuster but ate a boot when he went for his signature second rope elbow drop, which allowed Triple H to build a comeback with neckbreakers and repeated knees to the back of the Rattlesnake’s head.

After wearing each other down in the ring, the heated rivals brutally brawled at ringside.

After a few kicks to the gut in a corner, Triple H thumbed Austin in the eye and knocked him down with a chop block, switching his focus to Austin’s left leg and smashing it against a ring post. Although Austin rammed Triple H’s shoulder into the same post to relieve the pressure, Triple H returned to targeting Austin’s leg once back in the ring, slapping on the Figure Four Leglock and grabbing the ropes for extra leverage. However, Austin successfully countered the move to put pressure on Triple H, leaving himself hobbled and helpless to stop Triple H dropping some elbows to the damaged joint. After scrambling upright and bashing Triple H’s nose off a turnbuckle pad, Austin hit another Lou Thesz Press and his running elbow for another two count but settled for a clothesline when the Game countered another Stunner attempt. Triple H countered a third into another neckbreaker for a near fall before they countered roll up attempts. Despite kicking Austin in the balls, Triple H finally ate a Stone Cold Stunner when he went for a diving axehandle, losing the first fall and kicking off the street fight stipulation. Austin immediately capitalised by tossing Triple H outside and landing suplexes on the rampway, bashing Hunter with a miniature television monitor, and tossing a few steel chairs into the ring before pursuing Triple H through the crowd and dumping him back in the ring. Austin whacked a steel chair across Triple H’s spine and then battered him with it as he writhed on the canvas for a two count. After more brawling at ringside, Austin brought out Mick Foley’s barbed wire 2×4, only to take a shot to the face and get busted open. However, he still reversed a Pedigree to send Triple H crashing through the Spanish announce table.

Things escalated into a bloody brawl by the end, with Triple H barely snagging ultimate victory.

After hitting Triple H with a beer can, Austin chucked him back in the ring, only to just barely kick out after taking a shot from the ring bell and a neckbreaker onto a steel chair. Triple H then countered a sleeper hold with a back suplex onto a steel chair and still couldn’t put Austin away, so he tried to Pedigree Austin onto the chair and was tossed back outside. Austin then split Triple H’s head open with a chair shot and the steel steps and desperately fought back when Triple H tried to hit him with his trusty sledgehammer. Back in the ring, Triple H countered another Stunner with a sledgehammer shot and then finally hit the Pedigree to take the second fall. Thus, the steel cage lowered and Triple H instantly took advantage by launching Austin into the mesh walls. Triple H then thrust the barbed wire 2×4 into Austin’s face, earning himself a chair shot to the head, a trip into the cage wall, and that same razor wire weapon to his face. When Triple H kicked out at two, Austin choked him with the weapon and ate a DDT to a steel chair when Triple H fought back. After kicking out of the follow-up cover, Austin unloaded with a slugfest, causing Triple H to scramble up the cage. After fighting on the ropes and smashing each other’s heads off the steel supports, Austin landed crotch-first on the top rope but immediately answered back by tossing Triple H to the mat for a near fall. Things escalated further when both men hit their finishers, only to kick out before the three count, driving Austin to grab the barbed wire 2×4 and Triple H to grab his sledgehammer. Both bashed each other at the same time, but Triple H happened to collapse on top of Austin, scoring the win in this hellacious match (though Austin got the last laugh by landing a final Stunner as Triple H staggered up).

The Aftermath:
Interestingly enough, this was the last time Steve Austin and Triple H faced each other in a one-on-one match. As Austin had won the Royal Rumble the previous month, he switched his focus to his main event WWF Championship against the Rock, which saw him capture the belt but sell his soul in the process. Triple H, meanwhile, complained that his victory meant he should be in the main event of WrestleMania X-Seven and thus drew the ire of the Undertaker. Despite losing to the American Bad Ass at that event, Triple H bounced back by forming the most unlikely alliance of all time, joining forces with Steve Austin as the “Two Man Power Trip” and dominating the WWF thanks to the backing of WWF Chairman, Vince McMahon. Triple H captured the Intercontinental Championship and teamed with Austin against the Undertaker and his half-brother, Kane, defeating them for the Tag Team Championships. Unfortunately, Triple H’s 2001 ended abruptly after a horrendous quadricep tear, meaning he missed the ill-fated “Invasion” that saw a paranoid and erratic Steve Austin desperately cling to his beloved WWF Championship. Although Triple H returned in time for the 2002 Royal Rumble, he and Austin never faced each other in the ring again as Austin briefly parted ways with the WWF before retiring in 2003. Still, this match is widely regarded as one of the best matches the two ever had.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy the Three Stages of Hell match between Steve Austin and Triple H at No Way Out 2001? Which fall or stipulation was your favourite and who did you want to win? Were you disappointed that all the limb targeting was forgotten by the end? Did you enjoy seeing the two resort to extreme weapons? Which of Austin and Triple H’s matches is your favourite and how are you celebrating 3:16 Day this year? What dream match would you have liked to see him involved in? Let me know what you think about “Stone Cold” Steve Austin down in the comments, send me £3.16 on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other wrestling content across the site!

Movie Night [Friday the 13th]: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday


Long considered an unlucky day due to superstitions involving the number thirteen and religious connotations, Friday the 13th is equally well-known as a long-running series of slasher movies. As a result, this is clearly the best opportunity to take a look at the Friday the 13th (Various, 1980 to 2009) horror series and to commemorate this unlucky and dreaded date.


Released: 13 August 1993
Director: Adam Marcus
Distributor: New Line Cinema

Budget: $3 million
Box Office: $15.9 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 15% / 23%

Quick Facts:
After years of distancing himself from his slasher franchise, Sean Cunningham returned in hopes of a crossover with the Nightmare on Elm Street series (Various, 1984 to 2010). Though it would take about ten years to see this and Paramount Pictures sold New Line Cinema everything but the franchise title, Cunningham was adamant about taking the series in a new direction after a deliberately stereotypical opening. The film was also filled with references to other horror franchises and featured a startling new look for Jason Voorhees (fan favourite Kane Hodder) courtesy of Al Magliochetti.

The Review:
Things start out very familiar in this second attempt at a “final” entry in the long-running slasher franchise. Jason Goes to Hell opens some twenty years after Jason Voorhees was believed drowned as a child in Crystal Lake. After two decades of characters either warning that Jason is alive or mocking the idea that Jason is alive, Jason’s legend has become public, with scheming news reporter Robert Campbell (Steven Culp) openly discussing Jason on his show and Crystal Lake residents like rambunctious diner owner Joey B. (Rusty Schwimmer) shamelessly profiting from Jason’s myth. This predictability and familiarity are all the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) need to trap the monstrous killer, as Agent Elizabeth Marcus (Julie Michaels) wanders about an abandoned cabin at Crystal Lake to lure Jason out. Looking more hideous and ridiculous than ever, with his mask fused to his tumour-ridden head (though with no explanation of how he returned to Crystal Lake from Manhattan), Jason is lured into an ambush. A crack squad of FBI agents pump Jason full of assault rifle fire and reduce him to flaming body parts with a mortar, seemingly ending his reign of terror and causing Crystal Lake to celebrate accordingly. This makes for a very surprising opening but it also a bad omen for things to come, as Jason Goes to Hell deviates so wildly from the formula and lore of the franchise that it’s essentially unrecognisable as a Friday the 13th film. While Campbell interviews infamous bounty hunter Creighton Duke (Steven Williams), who coyly alludes to Jason being beyond death and offers to finish the job for $500,000, Jason’s remains are taken to coroner Phil Hant (Richard Gant) at the local morgue.

Enigmatic bounty hunter Duke is the best and most wasted part of this bizarre entry in the slasher franchise.

Hant is suddenly mesmerised by Jason’s black, still-beating heart, which compels him to consume it and, in doing so, the coroner is possessed by Jason’s evil spirit! Acting through Hant, Jason immediately returns to his killing spree, offing assistant coroner Eric Pope (Dean Lorey) and two FBI guards (Tony Ervolina and Kane Hodder) before returning to Crystal Lake. Since he has foreknowledge of Jason’s abilities and knows the terrifying secret behind his curse, Duke journeys to Crystal Lake and accosts waitress Diana Kimble (Erin Gray), demanding her help in defeating Jason since she’s secretly Jason’s hitherto unknown sister! Duke’s lewd ways and notoriety see him upset Diana and anger her man, Sheriff Ed Landis (Billy Green Bush), who arrests Duke for his insolence. Undeterred, Duke patiently waits for a chance to escape and is provided one when down on his luck Steven Freeman (John D. LeMay) is brought in later in the film, having been accused of killing Diana. Desperate to protect his ex and the mother of his baby, Jessica Kimble (Kari Keegan), Stephen rises to Duke’s bait and demands answers about Jason, sacrificing two of his fingers to learn that Jason has been wearing bodies this whole time, jumping to new hosts when he wears them out, and can only be killed or reborn through his bloodline. Stephen’s exploration of the newly revealed “Vorhees” mansion suggests that Jason’s mother (or father) dabbled with the Necronomicon Ex Mortis, suggesting Jason was cursed from birth to be some kind of human/Deadite hybrid. Duke also alludes to a history with Jason, though we only get scant details of this, which is a shame as Steven Williams is easily the best part of this car crash of a movie. Charismatic and eye-catching, Duke makes a hell of an impression in double denim, long black trenchcoat, and cowboy hat, to say nothing of his knowing smirk and silky-smooth voice. While it would’ve made way more sense to bring back Tommy Jarvis (Various) or rewrite the film to focus on Duke defending Jessica and her baby, Duke is one of the franchise’s more memorable characters and it’s a pity to see him wasted and offed so unceremoniously.

The film’s crippled by uninteresting leads and a complete rewrite of the series lore.

Instead of following a self-righteous Duke on a quest for revenge, we’re left with Steven, a weedy nerd who apparently skipped town or disappeared after getting Jessica pregnant and has been trying to make amends since. While Diana wants to help the kids repair their relationship and Jessica constantly asks after him, Jessica has shacked up with Campbell and joins Sheriff Landis in condemning Steven when he’s found cradling Diana’s dead body. In fact, save for a horny hitchhiker (Kathryn Atwood), Officer Randy Parker (Kipp Marcus), and Ward B. (Adam Cranner), the entire community turns on Steven and hounds, attacks, or berates him. Having witnessed Jason murder Diana while possessing Deputy Josh Burton (Andrew Bloch) and then jump from Josh into Campbell, leaving Josh to dissolve into a gloopy mess, Steven’s desperate to protect Jessica, having learned that she’s Jason’s niece, and stunned to finally meet his daughter, baby Stephanie (Brooke Scher). Though physically no match for Jason (or anyone, for that matter), Steven constantly surprises with his quick reflexes and guts, offering his fingers to Duke in return for information, brawling with Randy, and gunning down Jason’s possessed bodies to protect his estranged family. Unfortunately for him, Jessica is not interested in associating with him, despite asking after him a few times. She refuses to see him (though is happy for him to meet Stephanie) and constantly ditches and even attacks him, despite him saving her from the possessed Campbell and desperately getting her to safety. Jessica seems to be in denial, despite witnessing horrific and unexplainable events, even when confronted by Duke at the Voorhees house and told her destiny. It’s only when Jason is horrifically reborn through her mother’s corpse that Jessica finally gets a clue and takes up the Kandarian dagger to fight off the undead menace, and only after Steven has almost been dragged to Hell that she finally shows him some affection (though I don’t blame her for shunning him as he’s a complete dweeb).

Jason’s now a demonic, body hopping force hell-bent on possessing his last family members.

Everything you know about Jason is completely turned on its head or thrown out the window in this bizarre entry, which has only superficial connections to the previous films and goes out of its way to rewrite the long-standing lore. Though still a hulking, rotting, undead killer, Jason is far more vocal than ever, grunting and even moaning constantly as he stomps about. Jason’s also now inarguably a demonic figure and his superhuman durability, strength, and regenerative powers are made explicitly supernatural, potentially due to the “Book of the Dead” (though this may have been a prop planted by Campbell…) Jason also now has an extended family, with his sister, Diana, laughably working in Crystal Lake as a waitress rather than fleeing to avoid her family name. Aside from a handful of victims who get in his way or act as hosts, Diana is Jason’s primary target as he can only be reborn through his bloodline. Otherwise, Jason jumps from bodies as a squealing, demonic slug-thing that squirms from his mouth and rapidly deteriorates any non-Voorhees. This means Kane Hodder only appears very briefly as Jason, with others assuming his mannerism as Jason hunts down his family and Jason’s true self only appearing in reflections (…for some unexplained reason). Those possessed by Jason exhibit the same supernatural strength and durability, essentially becoming zombies who shrug off bullets and bash people’s teeth down their throat and easily recover from being run over. This bizarre new ability also gives Jason some anonymity as nobody suspects his presence even when Campbell is suddenly stalking around covering blood and tossing fools aside, and Jason even inexplicably talks while possessing Randy to fool Jessica into killing Sherriff Landis, potentially suggesting the possessed have some awareness of what’s going on. Still, while the idea of a body-hopping, demonic Jason is interesting, it doesn’t align with the previous films and makes this more of a generic, slightly bonkers horror film as it lacks Jason’s iconography and depicts him so differently that he’s essentially completely different character.

Despite some gruesome gore and interesting kills, this is just another generic horror offering.

Although cut to pieces by censorship like its predecessors, the unrated/director’s cut adds a bit more blood and gore to the black sheep of the franchise. Sadly, many kills lack the same visceral appeal as others in the series simply because Jason isn’t physically onscreen doing the deed. While making his way into town, Hant-Jason detours to murder three hitchhikers picked up by Steven who camp at the remains of Camp Crystal Lake. This delivers not only one of the best sex scenes in the franchise but also one of the best deaths, as Deborah Caldwell (Michelle Clunie) is skewered through the back with a tent pole and torn in half right at the point of orgasm! Diana’s simply stabbed in the back to meet her end, but this is the catalyst for all the animosity that follows Steven, and Josh’s gruesome end more than make sup for this. His body rapidly deteriorating from Jason’s presence, Josh passes Jason’s demonic slug into Campbell and then melts from the inside out, leaving his jaw on the floorboards and reducing him to a bubbling mess of melting flesh. Campbell’s body shows signs of distress much faster than Josh’s but also goes on a far more public rampage, crashing through the police station in search of Jessica and bashing two officers’ heads in before being briefly gunned down. Campbell-Jason pursues Steven and Jessica to Joey’s diner, where he snaps Wade’s arm, smashes Joey’s face, and mutilates Shelby B. (Leslie Jordan) with the deep fat fryer before tossing him into a wall. Waitress Vicky Sanders (Allison Smith) tries to fight back with a spear, only for Campbell-Jason to impale her on it before crushing her head. Despite being positioned as the one most capable of battling Jason, Duke is disappointingly ineffectual, succeeding only in distracting Jason as he lunges for Jessica. Handicapped by a leg injury, Duke can only spit his defiance in Jason’s scabby mask and get his back broken.

A simple stab with a magic dagger and Jason is dragged to Hell forever…or for almost ten years.

Now awkwardly positioned as a quasi-Deadite, Jason’s goal here is to return to his more familiar (if more ungainly and monstrous) form, taking out anyone in his way and possessing new bodies to get close to his remaining bloodline. It’s bloody convenient that he magically has other family members to hunt down as no mention was ever officially made of there being anyone other than Jason and his mother, not to mention how convenient it is that Diana and Jessica stuck around Crystal Lake. Despite his broken fingers and being battered by former friends and Jason’s avatars, and constantly being ditched by Jessica, Steven races to the Voorhees mansion to help Jessica, who’s presented with a magical dagger by Duke and torn between who to trust when Sheriff Landis and Randy both show up claiming to help her. Unfortunately, Jessica choses poorly and Randy-Jason tries to possess Stephanie, only to be beheaded by Steven. Undeterred, Jason’s demonic slug-thing crawls out and possess Diana’s dead body (which Campbell stuffed in the basement for ratings), inexplicably returning Jason to his familiar, hockey-masked self rather than being reborn in a new body. After killing Duke, Jason targets Jessica so Steven steps in again, tackling Jason through a window and somehow going toe-to-toe with him thanks to Jason choosing to simply toss him around rather than rip his heart out. This distraction leaves Jason wide open for Jessica to stab him with the dagger, triggering an unearthly storm and ethereal light and demonic hands to pop from the ground to drag Jason to Hell. Amazingly, Jessica hesitates to help Steven when the demons grab him by proxy but eventually gets her shit together, drags him to safety, and finishes the job, watching as Jason’s dragged into the ground. While Steven and Jessica walk away, shell-shocked but having rekindled their romance, Jason’s dishevelled mask is claimed by the clawed hand of Freddy Krueger (Kane Hodder), completing Jason’s descent into the netherworld.

Final Thoughts:
A common criticism about the Friday the 13th franchise is often that it’s very predictable and rarely deviates from a set formula. While there’s something to be said about taking comfort in the familiar, it’s true that the formula got stale and tiresome over time. Ever since Jason become a zombie, the franchise has tried new gimmicks to put a spin on things, but Jason Goes to Hell goes above and beyond that by largely discarding everything that’s recognisably Friday the 13th, robbing it of the visual iconography of Jason and his tropes and presenting a far less interesting, much more generic horror film. It would’ve been so much better and made way more sense to have Jason’s mask possess others, perhaps even transform them into a version of his misshapen form, rather than have him be this weird, demon slug-thing that may or may not be a Deadite. To make matters worse, Jason Goes to Hell suddenly introduces an extended family for Jason rather than finally shedding some light on his father, forces us to follow boring-ass Steven and flaky Jessica, and completely wastes the charisma and allure of Creighton Duke by merely making him a supporting character. There was so much potential in opening some years prior with a young Duke, having him survive an encounter with Jason, and then pursue Jason’s return (through his mask), tracking down Jason’s absent father to keep him from rebirthing Jason and perhaps defending Stephanie from Jason’s ire. Or, you know, bring someone back as Tommy Jarvis instead of creating Duke so you have that in-built history. While some of the kills are nice and gruesome, Jason’s descent into Hell was absurd, resulting in a lacklustre and nonsensical “end” for the iconic slasher, who barely appeared in the movie. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday is a terrible send-off for the titular killer and seems embarrassed by the franchise, going out of its way to strip away everything that makes Friday the 13th fun and replacing it with Easter Eggs and so much nonsense that I doubt even avid fans of the franchise find much to like (and I should know!)

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Were you disappointed by Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday? What did you think of Jason’s bizarre new look and new supernatural abilities? Were you frustrated by the body-hopping gimmick or did you find it an intriguing wrinkle in the lore? Do you agree that Creighton Duke should’ve been the main protagonist? Did you buy that Jason was dead for reals this time? Which Friday the 13th movie is your favourite? Let me know your thoughts on Friday the 13th (the movie, franchise, and day), support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror content.

Game Corner [Mario Month]: Wario Land 4 (Nintendo Switch)


So, for no better reason than “Mar.10” resembling Mario’s name, March 10th is widely regarded as being “Mario Day”, a day to celebrate Nintendo’s portly plumber, an overalls-wearing mascot who literally changed the videogame industry forever and shaped the home console market of the nineties.


Released: 14 February 2025
Originally Released: 21 August 2001
Developer: Nintendo R&D1

Also Available For: Game Boy Advance, Nintendo Switch 2, Nintendo Wii U (Japan Only)
Metacritic Scores: 88 / 8.8

Quick Facts:
Designed by Hiroji Kiyotake to symbolise Nintendo R&D1’s displeasure at being denied the chance to create original videogames, Mario’s dastardly doppelgänger first appeared in Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (ibid, 1992). Wario then usurped Nintendo’s portly plumber as the face of Mario’s handheld sub-series, leading to three highly regarded portable adventures. Wario Land 4 restricted Wario to an ancient pyramid and incorporated “Metroidvania”-like exploration alongside more traditional platforming mechanics compared to its previous two games. A strong seller, Wario Land 4 was met with widespread acclaim as reviews praised the replay value, colourful and lively graphics, and balanced challenge, though the lack of true innovation was noted.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Like its predecessors, Wario Land 4 is a 2D, action-orientated platformer in which players take Mario’s despicable lookalike through an ancient pyramid, navigating a simplistic hub world to take one of four passages and explore four worlds in each, tackling a boss at the end to obtain treasure from the pyramid. Players get two save files and, for the first time in the Land series, a health bar, represented by hearts. Wario can partially or completely refill his health by defeating enemies and collecting Little Hearts to fill a meter, Hearts for a full heart, or smashing special treasure chests for a Full Health Item. Wario’s abilities are largely retained from the previous titles, with him jumping with A (jumping higher the longer you hold the button) and charging at enemies, destructible objects, and treasures chests with B or X. You can hold down the Left or Right trigger to charge ahead, ploughing through most enemies and blocks, perform a leaping charge, butt stomp by pressing down in mid-air, swim by tapping A, and roll into a ball to crash through small tunnels by holding down on slopes. Enemies can be stunned by bumping them, allowing Wario to automatically pick them up. If you hold down B, you can charge a throw, with Wario tossing whatever he’s holding higher and further the longer you hold it down, which is great for smashing blocks, hitting ! switches, or opening certain doors by tossing shapes. Players climb ladders, use warp pipes, and jump to small or moving platforms to progress, earning points for every enemy defeated and the gems they collect. Blue and Red Crystals are plentiful but you’ll want to explore and experiment to collect the Diamonds hidden in each world. Some blocks can only be destroyed with a fully charged dash or by performing a ground pound from way up high. Wario must frantically return to the entrance warp upon activating a Frog Switch, giving him up to ten minutes to do so before the bomb explodes, robs him of some treasure, and returns him to the hub world.

Blast and transform your way through worlds to find the Jewel Pieces needed to progress.

Although Wario can now take damage and fail his quest if he runs out of hearts, he can still be transformed by certain enemy attacks and environmental factors. When consuming food, Wario becomes fat and heavy, easily crashing through blocks and shrugging off attacks. When pricked by a Beezley, Wario inflates like a balloon and floats until he hits a ceiling, floating higher by tapping B, while bubbles force him through water and rapids if you’re not careful. Flames set Wario on fire, causing him to run around in a panic and eventually become consumed, destroying Bonfire Blocks in the process. Similarly, he becomes a snowball when hit with falling snow, rolling down hills and crashing through Snowman Blocks as he goes. When crushed, Wario flattens and awkwardly floats down shafts and through tiny gaps and, when hit by a Yeti’s sneeze, he freezes and flies back. If hit by a Menhanmā’s hammer, Wario becomes a spring, leaping high into the sky and through any blocks by pressing A, becomes a shambling, gloopy zombie when hit by a Skeleton Bird, falling through any platforms as he goes, and transforms into a bat upon touching a Minicula, allowing him to fly by tapping A. While some of these are temporary, others are cancelled out upon touching water or light sources, and they seem far more situational compared to the last two games. I was disappointed that no new transformations appeared and that the transformations aren’t as interesting as it’s usually pretty simple to figure out how to use them. Similarly, while players can uncover hidden doors by exploring and smashing blocks, most worlds are quite linear, with alternate paths generally being quite obvious and leading to the same collectibles. Wario must find four coloured Jewel Pieces in every world and escape with the ghost-like Keyzer to open doors in the hub world’s passages, meaning you either need to explore thoroughly the first time through or return the world to find what you missed. This can be a bit annoying and basically forces you to 100% every world, which can be a chore, especially when Jewel Pieces are only accessible after hitting the Frog Switch and opening new paths.

Despite the mini games and variety, the gameplay loop is tedious and simplistic.

As you explore, you come across mini challenge rooms where you must toss archaeologist Arewo Shitain-hakase past obstacles or at switches to earn additional Diamonds, and you can play three mini games to earn Coins. These see you timing swings of a baseball bat, playing an endless runner, and matching Wario’s face. The Coins earned are used in the Item Shop prior to each boss fight, gifting you powerful, automatically triggered items that reduce or decimate the boss’s health. Otherwise, worlds offer some surprising variety as they’re themed around jungles, temples, factories, and deserts rather than sticking to the Egyptian pyramid aesthetic. Some worlds are notably maze-like, like the looping 40 Below Fridge, which has you rolling about as a snowball to access new passages, and Hotel Horror, which is a haunted hotel maze of doors and ladders. Wildflower Fields has you scaling giant beanstalks, Pinball Zone forces you to throw multiple Chomp Balls into Pinball Tulips to unlock doors, and Doodle Woods sees a floating Hoggus spawn enemies with its drawings. A pirate ghost kidnaps Keyzer in Crescent Moon Village, pistons and conveyor belts litter the steampunk-esque Curious Factory, and you’ll be swimming through underwater passages in Mystic Lake. Flying carpets carry you through the sky in Arabian Night, you must stop the chance wheels at the correct places in The Big Board to gain transformations and open paths, and you hop to swinging, vine-like platforms in the rainswept Monsoon Jungle. The challenge is relatively fair, with most enemies and hazards being more of an annoyance, but the difficulty comes in searching for the Jewel Pieces and Keyzer and racing back to the entrance warp before the timer runs out. Temporary platforms, tricky jumps, and alternate paths both help and hinder this task, but the gameplay loop gets a bit tedious very quickly since you must find all the Jewel Pieces and Keyzer to progress. This means there’s less emphasis on collecting loot and exploring for hidden treasure than in previous games, less focus on the transformations, and more focus on replaying worlds until you’ve found what you need to progress.

Presentation:
Without a doubt, Wario Land 4 is the best-looking game in the series so far. Wario is more animated and expressive than ever, spouting phrases as he succeeds or takes damage and performing various idle poses, such as pumping iron or skipping rope. He even flails about in water and has never looked better when transformed into a zombie or set on fire, which makes it all the more bizarre, disappointing, and frustrating that the game’s story is practically non-existent. Even the Game Boy Color games featured cutscenes and some dialogue, but all we get here is some shots of Wario blasting about in his muscle car, finding the pyramid, and opening its doors. The ending tries to compensate for this by offering large sprite art renditions of Wario’s victories over the bosses, but it’s too little too late and I was very disappointed to see that the story didn’t get more emphasis. Similarly, it’s quite unfortunate that Wario’s stuck inside a pyramid for the entire game, visiting worlds by leaping into warp portals rather than exploring an ever expanding and changing island or larger hub world, things that even the first game did much better. The music was equally forgettable, with none of the tunes really sticking in my head, an annoying jingle playing every time you transform, and the environment and soundtrack warping and distorting when you’re ordered to “Hurry up!” after activating the Frog Switch. It’s a shame as there are some fun, comical moments, like a cameo from Mr. Game & Watch and the various items being wheeled out to attack the bosses, who are all large and disturbing. It might’ve been nice to include some sections where you barrel along in Wario’s muscle car, or to bring back the hats from the first game, or to see Wario properly exploring the pyramid rather than just hobbling to each passage and walking through samey-looking hallways each time.

Despite Wario Land 4 being a visual treat, the lack of focus on story hurts it.

And yet, there’s a fair amount of variety in Wario Land 4, with each passage sporting various environments to explore, each one somewhat related to a specific theme. The Emerald Passage is themed around nature, for example, meaning you explore a palm tree seaside, a flower field, a sprawling lake, and a stormswept jungle. The Ruby Passage is themed around industry, placing you in an industrial factory, a toxic landfill akin to a sewer or junkyard, a freezing fridge with lots of slippery platforms and snow, and a pinball-themed maze. The Topaz Passage is themed around toys, with the first world literally being a toy chest, the second being a toy village, the third being a stationary-themed woods that would fit right in with a Yoshi title, and the final world seeing you knock over and outrace dominos before they block off paths and doors. The Sapphire Passage is themed around horror and ghosts, with you exploring a haunted village, a night-time Indian city, a fiery cavern full of lava and flaming geyser, and a labyrinthine hotel that’s so full of spookies and mysteries that Wario should’ve called Luigi for help! The final area, the Golden Passage, lands you right on the Frog Switch and gives you 9:30 to reach the ending, running a gauntlet of all the enemies, obstacles, and gimmicks you’ve encountered before and utilising each of Wario’s transformations to progress. This world is a golden-bricked environment with falling chandeliers that transitions to a stone temple and features drops to rushing water that loop you around if you’re not careful. None of Wario Land 4’s worlds are particularly innovative or original and they feature less alternative paths and rewards compared to the last three games, making them far more linear save for a few instances where you must search a little harder for missing Jewel Pieces. I liked that they remained visually distinct from other Super Mario games, featuring few gimmicks and aspects from those games, but it would’ve been nice to see them play more into Wario’s strengths and transformations, and maybe feature more collectibles to unearth by exploring.

Enemies and Bosses:
As far as I can remember (it has been a while and I don’t care to dig too deep into it), Wario Land 4 features an all-new line-up of baddies, though some fulfil similar functions, like Menhanmās squashing you with their hammers and Kaentsubos and Pig Head Statues setting you on fire. The most common enemies are the Goomba-like Marumen, who simply wander back and forth, while the Shy Guy-like Spear-Mask prod you with spears and the masked Totsumen charge you. Spikys need flipping over with a ground pound to attack their underbellies, Shieragutchi spring from the seabed, and Goggley-Blades cut through the water to try and skewer you. Bow Balloons and Beezley’s turn you into Puffy Wario, Ringosukī apes toss apples to help or hinder you as Fat Wario, and Skeelton Birds can send you plummeting through platforms if their spit turns you into a zombie. Men’onos and their mummified variants charge with axes, harmless caterpillars slither around the Wildflower Fields, mole-like creatures ram into you, and large sea monsters pop from holes in the background of Mystic Lake. Various robots patrol the Ruby Passage worlds, such as an armoured mech that tosses its head and a robotic bird that flies at you, while miniature toy Wario’s litter the Topaz Passage worlds. They’re joined by spear-wielding Dice, a strange hybrid of a pig and a snail, and ballerina pigs spawned by Hoggus. Bowlers toss boulders in the Fiery Cavern before being turned into Yetis when the world freezes, bats flitter about in Arabian Night, and a large pirate ghost lingers in the background of Crescent Moon Village, being harmless until they spot Keyzer, whom they abduct on sight. There are six bosses to contend with in Wario Land 4, with four being fought in whatever order you tackle the Passages in and the first fought to clear the Entry Passage, each being significantly damaged by the item your purchase, and each fought against a timer.

Six surreal, monstrous bosses offer a decent challenge beyond just ramming into them.

The first is a monstrous eggplant that wanders back and forth in an enclosed arena, assisted by smaller minions and eventually turning feral after enough hits. At first, you must ram its face but, when it goes mad, you must hop over it to finish it off from behind. After waking Cractus, you must climb the nearby ladders to avoid its chomping mouth and spiked leaves, butt stomp its head as it passes under you. After a few hits, it spews bile that transforms you into a zombie, adds homing jabs to its arsenal, and floats around more erratically. I fought Aerodent next, a giant inflatable bear controlled by a mouse ghost. You must avoid the pin enemies it drops and hit its glowing feet to expose the mouse, ramming it to deal damage, dodging the flames it drops and desperately trying to land multiple hits in a small window. Catbat was somewhat similar in that you must ram the cat on its head, avoiding its spiked furballs and using the waves it spews to get closer, eventually butt stomping its head to finish it. Finally, I fought Cuckoo Condor, potentially the toughest of the regular bosses. This giant cuckoo clock bird-thing grabs you in its talons and drives you into the spiked wheels on either side of the arena and tosses buzzsaws, which can also be electrified. You must quickly ram its claw to hit the boss, then frantically grab the eggs it drops before they spawn explosive chicks, and toss them at just the right angle to deal damage. The final boss is a multi-phase battle with the Golden Diva, which tosses you about with is Kabuki-like masks, shields itself with a fan, drops green enemies, spawns a rubber ball, conjures black eggs and explosive chicks, and drops a spiked hammer. You must ram, grab, or use each of these to deal damage, either by tossing them or springing into her face, eventually stunning her when she destroys the ground to reveal spikes and butt stomping her head.

Additional Features:
There are four Jewel Pieces in each world and each must be collected to unlock the boss doors. You must also find Keyzer or else you can’t access each subsequent world in the Passage. Every world also hides a CD, unlocking a music track for the Sound Room, and hides hidden challenge rooms where you toss about Arewo Shitain-hakase to snag extra loot. The game can be played on “Normal” or “Hard” from the start, which affects how much health you start with and even the placement of Jewel Pieces and treasure. Beating the game on “Hard” unlocks the extra challenging “S-Hard” mode, and all bosses are revived once you finish the game, allowing you to battle them again and best your time and replay previous worlds to find those missing CDs. You can waste a few hours grinding the mini games to earn extra Coins and try out the different items against the bosses, and you’ll get different endings depending on the difficulty you play and how fast you defeat the bosses, depicting Wario with more or less loot and driving different vehicles. This version of the game also allows you to rewind the action and create save states, significantly reducing the challenge and making it a bit easier to hunt for Jewel Pieces and Keyzer or undo any mistakes.

Final Thoughts:
I was really excited to get into Wario Land 4 since I’ve been a huge fan of the series since Wario’s debut. I was expecting it to be like the last two and feature multiple paths, lots of treasure, and tricky puzzles focusing on Wario’s bizarre transformations. Instead, I got a relatively simple platformer that significantly reduced the focus on these transformations, making Wario more vulnerable and not even offering any new power-ups for him. Sure, you still have to explore the worlds but nowhere near to the extent as before, with most alternative paths being fairly obvious and offering little reward since your treasure barely matters this time around. All that matters are those damn Jewel Pieces and Keyzer, crutches that force you to linger in worlds or replay them just to progress to the boss, which really soured the experience for me. I think it should’ve been mandatory to have one or the other, then have the other gimmick used to unlock bonus areas or challenges. Instead, you can just ignore everything and focus only on collecting those, eliminating much of the appeal in exploring and figuring out the game’s far simpler puzzles. While Wario Land 4 looks fantastic and is a visual treat, this gameplay loops really stifled my enjoyment. The race back to the beginning and to defeat bosses added some tension but also seemed like a forced gimmick to artificially up the challenge, and the minigames were uninspired and boring, which is a shame as the items you buy are quite fun. I was really disappointed by the lack of focus on the story, the linear nature of the narrative, and that Wario was stuck inside a pyramid, even if the worlds have some decent variety. Ultimately, as gorgeous as Wario Land 4 is, I feel it doesn’t live up to its deeper and more complex predecessors, offering far less replay value and being a disappointingly lacklustre title instead of the definitive Wario Land experience.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Ae you a fan of Wario Land 4? How did you think it compared to the other Wario Land videogames? Were you disappointed by the smaller scale of the game and the forced collection of Jewel Pieces? What did you think to the graphics and bizarre bosses? Were you also surprised to see there were no new transformations and less focus on treasure hunting? Did you ever beat the game on S-Hard mode? Would you like to see more of Wario or do you think he’s better suited as a side character? How are you celebrating the Super Mario franchise this month? Whatever your thoughts on Wario, feel free to drop a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Wario reviews.

Game Corner [Mario Month]: Yoshi’s Story (Nintendo 64)


So, for no better reason than “Mar.10” resembling Mario’s name, March 10th is widely regarded as being “Mario Day”, a day to celebrate Nintendo’s portly plumber, an overalls-wearing mascot who literally changed the videogame industry forever and shaped the home console market of the nineties.


Released: 21 December 1997
Developer: Nintendo EAD

Also Available For: Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Switch 2, Nintendo Wii, and Nintendo Wii U (Virtual Console)

Metacritic Scores: 65 / 7.2

Quick Facts:
Super Mario World (Nintendo EAD, 1990) showcased the processing power of the Super Nintendo and introduced one of Mario’s most popular supporting characters, Yoshi. Originally designed to be included in the 8-bit games, Yoshi took the spotlight in Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island (Nintendo EAD, 1995), a colourful and innovative platformer that was also a critical and commercial success. This kick-started a slew of Yoshi-centric spin-off titles, including this lush 2.5D adventure originally developed for the ill-fated 64DD peripheral and designed to appeal to gamers of all ages. While criticised for its clunky controls and short length, Yoshi’s Story is almost universally loved for its whimsical music, colourful graphics, and charming gameplay.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Yoshi’s Story is a colourful 2.5D platforming adventure that sees players pick from one of six different coloured Yoshis and travel through six worlds (or “Pages”), each with four levels apiece, gobbling fruit and avoiding hazards. The game plays almost identically to Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island, though the much-maligned Baby Mario character has been removed, and your Yoshi now has a traditional health system, one represented by a smiling flower that wilts as you take damage. The game offers a “Practice” mode so players can test the game’s controls, which again mirror Super Mario World 2, with all of Yoshi’s previous abilities returning. Yoshi jumps if you press A, jumping higher if you hold the button and frantically kicking his legs in a “flutter” for additional airtime to cross longer gaps or compensate for poorly timed leaps. If you hold down on the control stick while in mid-jump, Yoshi performs a ground pound to crush enemies and break boxes. B sees Yoshi fling out his long, sticky tongue to gobble up fruits or enemies, the latter are swallowed and turned into a line of eggs that trail behind you. To fire eggs, players hold the Z trigger and use the handy reticle to aim, with eggs used to defeat enemies, pop balloons to release more fruit, smash blocks, and even collect Coins or Special Hearts from afar. Eggs also ricochet off walls and can be acquired by hitting Egg Blocks, though you cannot throw them underwater. If you hold the Right trigger, the camera zooms in and Yoshi sniffs around to detect hidden fruit, and you can tap the Left trigger to toggle the heads-up display (HUD) to see how much fruit you’ve collected. Similarly, pressing “Start” pauses the game, allows you to return to the main map, and displays your current score (referred to as Yoshi’s “Mood”) and totals for each stage.

Explore, platform, and toss eggs across colourful stages to gobble up fruit and make the Yoshis happy.

Like pretty much every Super Mario-adjacent title, players collect Coins in Yoshi’s Story; though they’re primarily for your score, collecting some in quick succession may spawn extra fruit. There’s no timer and players are limited to six lives, with their Yoshi being spirited away to Baby Bowser’s keep if they’re defeated and players only able to retrieve them by finding a White Shy Guy and finishing a stage with them trailing behind him. Your goal is to eat thirty fruits per stage; once you do, the stage ends and you’re taken to the next Page, encouraging multiple playthroughs as you won’t play every stage for each Page. If you reach the end of the stage without eating thirty fruits, the stage loops around until you’ve found them all, so it helps to explore and complete the various mini challenges hidden in some stages. While peppers and Black Shy Guys damage Yoshi, eating fruit, Power Bees, and Power Flowers recovers Yoshi’s health, with different Yoshi’s recovering different amounts depending on their tastes. You can also ground pound to change the colours of Shy Guys and restore more health or get a full health refill by collecting Special Hearts or a randomly selected “Lucky Fruit”, and even gobble Bob-ombs to toss them, though they’ll explode and hurt you if you take too long. Occasionally, the enthusiastic pup Poochy aids you by indicating hidden fruit for you to ground pound, or five hopping Coins will spawn that you must devour to spawn a melon. Yoshi can grab and throw Huffin Puffin chicks as a substitute for eggs, utilises Bumber ’Chute umbrellas to avoid hazards and enemies, and occasionally transforms into an egg after eating a tulip to launch to otherwise inaccessible areas. Yoshi can also swim (though can’t toss eggs underwater), temporarily becomes invincible after eating a small, heart-shaped “Super Happy” fruit, and can warp around the stages by finding four Miss Warps or utilising doors and vases. Giant snakes and serpentine dragons carry Yoshi across or up vast chasms and change direction when you jump, though I found Yoshi quite slippery and that it was tricky making precision jumps at times, leaping to some annoying drops or unnecessary deaths.

A bunch of vivid hazards and platforming challenges await in this whimiscal adventure.

You must be wary of spike beds, bottomless pits, lava, falling spikes, and rotating platforms on your adventure. While Yoshi’s Story is pretty easy, some stages offer a greater challenge with troublesome gimmicks, like forcing you to find a key to unlock a door or swinging off wooden weights to briefly open doors. You’ll be surfing on leaves and ghosts (a clunky task), blasted along by gusts of wind, latching onto Surprise Balls, and bouncing on springs to traverse higher. Message Blocks provide hints and ? Switches temporarily create additional platforms, often to Special Hearts. Hitting ? Blocks initiates a mini game to earn additional melons: you must either quickly devour five Coins, race against an unseen Chomp to eat as many melons as possible before you reach a goal flag, and jump past seven melons. If you spot a melon flowerpot, ground pounding it initiates another mini game where you must frantically try to balance a stack of boxes and bring them to the finish line. These mini games can greatly speed up your progress so they’re worth seeking out, and it’s also advised you ground pound often or burst ? Bubbles for additional rewards. Players must deal with a lot of moving and temporary platforms, see-saws, rails (with players hitting levers to alter their direction), propellers, and swinging vines. Occasionally, large, sword-like spikes travel across or stab from the floors and ceilings, players must traverse cogs without being chewed up between them, Shy Guy’s fire cannons from the background, pistons threaten to crush you, torrents of water push you back, and bumper balls bash you about. There are buzzsaws to avoid, rolling balls to awkwardly run on across gaps, beehives that send a swarm of bees your way, little elephants that obnoxiously block your path with stop signs, thorned piranha plants and living globs of lava that must be subdued with an egg to the face, and jelly that slows your movement and keeps you grounded. Naturally, you also traverse caves, maze-like areas, and being carried across pits or lava, with it being recommended that you always have a full stock of eggs to snag any fruit or dispose of any enemies to make your life easier.

Presentation:
Super Mario World 2 was super cartoony and colourful and Yoshi’s Story takes this aesthetic and really runs with it, presenting every stage with a child-like whimsy that gives it a visual identity unlike most Nintendo 64 games. The Yoshis and their enemies are all lively, plasticine 3D models, with the Yoshis happily dancing when left idle, muttering and yelping, and even panting when low on health and dramatically keeling over when defeated. Poochy excitedly yips and bounds around to get your attention, the game’s sparse cutscenes are related through charming rhyming, and the soundtrack is suitably fanciful, resembling a nursery rhyme. While the Yoshis don’t sound or play any differently, which is a shame, the pop-up book aesthetic of the cutscenes is very charming (though it gets a bit laborious seeing the game recap your entire adventure once you beat it). The score board is rendered as a chalk board and Pages are presented with a unique hand-crafted aesthetic, with some appearing to be made from cardboard and construction paper while others are plastic, wool, or other crafting materials. It certainly gives Yoshi’s Story a unique (if somewhat blurry) appearance, one that’s far more detailed and colourful than Super Mario World 2’s picture-book aesthetic (which is still evoked at times), but it can make things a bit cluttered. If you enable the HUD, this is exacerbated to an almost painful degree so I’d recommend disabling it, but some environments are so dense and their colours clash and blend so much that it can be difficult to determine what’s a platform or where enemies are. A great example is Piranha Grove, where thorned piranha plants slink around in the dense, thorny jungle in the background while twists of thorny vines and winding piranha plants pop up from the foreground. Some stages attempt to provide branching paths, others have you loop and warp around to reach fruit; others have you crouch-walking past hazards or exploring dark, dingy caves. A lot of it stays very close to the usual Super Mario formula, for sure, but the game’s visual identity and unique completion mechanic allow it to stand out as you may want tow ait to eat that last fruit so you can find any missing Special Hearts.

The game’s picture book, crafted, plasticine aesthetic bolsters its unique visual identity.

You start in a vaguely field-like area, which contains rail lifts and a tower, before descending into a cavern filled with bones, fire-breathing skeletal dragons, and jelly-filled pipes. When you reach the “Summit”, you’re up in the clouds or atop snowy mountains, before tackling the dense jungle with its thorns, waters, hollowed out trees, and gigantic Blurps. The “Ocean” Page has you swimming around a coral reef, stealing fruit from the many flailing tentacles of Sea Anemones or racing past a beach front as Shy Guy’s shoot cannons from their pirate ship. The game culminates in Baby Bowser’s tough, hazard-filled castle that’s full of Boos, magma, buzzsaws, and mechanical obstacles, to say nothing of the pits and insta-kill lava. Progression is, however, a bit odd in Yoshi’s Story. While you’re often given the chance to pick which stage you want to play on each Page, you won’t visit every stage in succession like in other Super Mario games and platformers. This means that no two playthroughs are the same, with the game limiting which stages you can pick depending on how many Special Hearts you collect. I played through the first stage of every Page in my first playthrough, for example, then the second, but the game wouldn’t let me play every stage three unless I’d previously collected enough Special Hearts, which encourages replayability and exploration, but is surprisingly obtuse for such a simplistic title. Still, I enjoyed how each stage offered different gimmicks and aesthetics: you’re not just exploring the skies in “Summit”, for example. P.3-1 has you hopping to clouds and riding snakes up in the sky, P.3-2 sees the night sky brought to life by cardboard cutouts, while P.3-3 and P.3-4 take place on a snow-filled mountaintop. Similarly, I liked how Baby Bowser’s castle changed depending on which stage you picked, favouring either a medieval aesthetic, a haunted mansion, or a lava-filled cavern. Since I found the “Jungle” Page a bit headache inducing, my favourite Page was the “Cavern”, with its dark and gloomy dinosaur graveyard, Blaarg’s lava-filled boiler with its dipping bones and skeletal bridges, and the jelly-encrusted drainage pipes. I wasn’t a big fan of the underwater stages in “Ocean” and much preferred the beach setting since Yoshi’s abilities are limited underwater and he controls a bit too loosely for my liking when swimming.

Enemies and Bosses:
While Yoshi’s Story features a bunch of new, bizarre enemies, there are some familiar faces. The most obvious and recurring are the Shy Guys, who wander about, drop bombs or spiked fruit or carry fruit on propellers, stomp around on stilts, hide in trees, captain pirate ships, hop about on pogo springs, toss snowballs from the background, and even pilot missile-firing submarines! Lakitu also appears, awarding melons when you complete mini games, tossing spiked balls, and even blasting you with water jets. Boos haunt the “Ghost Castle”, going shy when you face them, masquerading as blocks, and even mimicking your movements in a line, Bob-ombs parachute from the sky, Bullet Bills fly at you, Chomps try to take a bite out of you, and gigantic Blurps try to swallow you whole. You’ll be taking out spiders, knocking slug-like slimes from vines, avoiding spiked and puffer fish and eels when underwater, clambering to Raven’s to gain extra height off jumps, and keeping an eye out for mischievous ghosts who hide in sticky jelly. A moss-encrusted Wiggler makes an appearance, frogs hop in your face, bat-like ComBats swoop when you get close, spiked centipedes slither around, and bumblebees buzz around trees and nests. A rainbow-coloured smiley face of death bounces about and tries to ram you, Blaarg, Bone Dragons, and Piranha Plants pop up to give you a scare and spew fireballs, and the floating Piranha Pests will temporarily shrink you to near-microscopic size, rendering you defenceless for a time, if they eat you. When exploring the “Bone Dragon Pit”, you’ll probably come across a three-headed Bone Dragon, whose Hydra-like heads must each be taken out with eggs to earn three melons. A giant, pinkish slug lurks in “Jelly Pipe”, with its only weak spot being its large, expressive eyes, while the strange, worm-like Snorkel Snake loops around the waters of “Lots O’Jelly Fish”. Its long length, circular motion, and spiked body make the Snorkel Snake a constant headache, one you’re denied the catharsis of defeating since Yoshis can’t throw eggs when underwater!

Even the more challenging bosses are ridiculously easy if you’re fast with your egg throwing.

There are five bosses to contend with in Yoshi’s Story, with all but one fought when clearing a stage in the third world, “Summit”. Each introduces themselves via a fun little cutscene and is fought in an enclosed arena, taking three hits to defeat, with the exception of the final boss. I fought the Cloudjin on my first playthrough, which takes place above a bottomless pit and sees you hopping to see-saw platforms, grabbing eggs as the gigantic cloud-like genie floats about and drops spiked balls that roll into you. He’s a big target and there are a lot of hazards to worry about, but you can simply spam your eggs and have a good chance of beating him fairly quickly. Inviso was a lot tougher since he turns invisible, barely peeking out from the background, and flooding the arena with chicks. Luckily, like all other boss battles, you can gobble Power Bees and other items to replenish health. Next, I fought Cloud N. Candy, who’s an absolutely joke. He’s big and hops about, but you can literally just spam your egg throw and beat him in, like, five seconds. Don Bongo’s fight can be tricky, though, since you’re in an enclosed space and his tantrum rains debris from above. You must target his lips, which become enlarged with each hit to make them an easier target. Naturally, Baby Bowser is the game’s toughest boss, with the fight being a two-phase affair. You can eat from the constantly replenishing Super Lucky Tree to replenish your health, though, and toss Bob-omb’s at the ceiling spikes to hit Baby Bowser as he flies around on ghosts. After three hits, he takes a more grounded approach, spitting fireballs and trying to crush you with his butt, but you can easily toss or ricochet Bob-ombs to do him in.

Additional Features:
There are three Special Hearts in each stage of Yoshi’s Island. Collecting them not only fully replenishes your health and adds to your final score but also unlocks stages in subsequent Pages, allowing you to experience every stage and boss in Yoshi’s Story (though always on separate playthroughs). Collecting Coins, eating enemies, and eating fruit also adds to your score, with players entering their names on the game’s high score table after finishing the game. However, while Yoshi’s Story doesn’t allow you to review this high score table until you finish the game, you can replay any stage you’ve beaten (as long as you collect all the Special Hearts) using the “Trial Mode” option. If you explore the “Caverns” and “Summit” pages, you may find a black- or white-spotted Giant Egg. Complete the stage with this in your inventory and you’ll unlock the Black or White Yoshi, who again only differ in their colouration rather than having additional abilities like unlimited health or eggs, though every fruit is their favourite, so they do enjoy the benefits of greater health replenishment. There’s also an invincibility code you can input if things are getting too difficult, and you can utilise a save state feature if playing through the Nintendo Switch Online + Expansion Pack.

Final Thoughts:
This was my first time playing Yoshi’s Story, a game I’d never had all that much interest in as a kid but which I decided to pick up for my modest Nintendo 64 library since it’s a reasonable price. It’s interesting that the developers chose to make a more traditional, 2.5D platformer rather than translate Yoshi’s gameplay into 3D like with Mario, especially as 3D gaming was all the rage back then and games like this were often seen as outdated as a consequence. Nevertheless, Yoshi’s Story certainly impresses with its whimsical, colourful crafted worlds that showcase the Nintendo 64’s ability to surpass its 16-bit predecessors with detailed, if familiar, locations. I really enjoyed the personality of the plasticine models, though I would’ve liked to see the Yoshis play a little differently (perhaps being faster, slower, having more or less eggs, or being better at swimming) to add some variety. A two-player co-op mode would’ve been nice as well, as well as the ability to free play any stage without entering the “Trial Mode”. The Special Heart progression system threw me, confusing me for a bit, and potentially handicaps players who simply eat every fruit without exploring. It’s weird that all the bosses are fought in “Summit” and, while I enjoyed their appearances, they’re all far too easy. It is fun that the finale offers different challenges depending on which stage you pick, and that each playthrough is different depending on which stage you select, but it does become a touch tedious when you just want to play through each stage successively. Still, Yoshi’s Story is a lot of fun, despite how slippery Yoshi can be and some of the more awkward mechanics. It’s hardly the most impressive Nintendo 64 title and doesn’t really showcase what the console was truly capable of, but it’s a fun, colourful little adventure that harkens back to the glory days of 16-bit platformers and it gives Yoshi a chance to shine as a fully capable solo star rather than a glorified babysitter.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Was Yoshi’s Story in your Nintendo 64 library back in the day? What did you think to the crafted aesthetic and bizarre stages? Were you disappointed that the Yoshis didn’t have different attributes? Did you ever collect all the Special Hearts and beat every stage? Are you a fan of Yoshi and, if so, which of his games is your favourite? How are you celebrating Mario’s birthday this year? Whatever your thoughts on Yoshi’s Story, feel free to share them below, support me on Ko-Fi, and be sure to check out my other Mario content!

Movie Night [National Pokémon Day]: Pokémon: Jirachi: Wish Maker


Pokémon: Blue Version and Pokémon: Red Version (Game Freak, 1996) saw a new craze sweep entire generations. Accordingly, February 27th is internationally recognised as “National Pokémon Day”.


Released: 19 July 2003
Director: Kunihiko Yuyama
Distributor: Toho

Budget: Unknown
Box Office: ¥4.5 billion
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 61%

Quick Facts:
Given how popular Pokémon was at the time, it’s no surprise that the aptly-titled Pokémon: The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back (Yuyama, 1998) was a box office success. Subsequent feature films soon followed, though they were released straight to video by 2003, right in the middle of “Generation III”. With the highly regarded Pokémon: Emerald Version (Game Freak, 2004) imminent, this feature spotlighted the elusive Jirachi and was somewhat divisive among audiences.

The Review:
Set during the Advanced era of the anime (2002 to 2003) and continuing the streak of feature-length films based on the third generation of Pokémon videogames, Pokémon: Jirachi: Wish Maker sees aspiring Pokémon Master Ash Ketchum (Veronica Taylor), his partner Pokémon Pikachu (Ikue Otani), and his friends, former Rock-Type Gym Leader Brock (Eric Stuart) and siblings May (Veronica Taylor) and Max (Amy Birnbaum), take a detour from their journey across the Hoenn region to witness the Millennium Comet, which appears once every thousand years. Though initially disappointed to find the location of the advertised festival to be an empty valley, the group are amazed when a troop of vehicles pull up and quickly erect an elaborate fairground, including a huge tent for the Great Butler’s (Wayne Grayson) exciting magic show. Assisted by Diane (Megan Hollingshead), Kirlia (Unknown), and Mightyena (ibid), Butler wows the crowd by conjuring Pokémon out of thin air and Brock is immediately besotted when the magician does the same with Diane, though Max is more drawn to the mystical crystalline object in Diana’s hands. Rushing to investigate, Max and Ash are quickly roped into Butler’s show but their fifteen minutes of fame are rudely interrupted by Team Rocket – Jessie (Rachael Lillis), James (Eric Stuart), and Meowth (Maddie Blaustein) – who pose as clowns to steal some Pokémon and briefly snag Pikachu before being scuppered by Butler and his Dusclops (Unknown) to the delight of the unsuspecting audience. Impressed that Max can hear the rock’s calling, Butler lets him take the crystal and reveals it contains a sleeping Mythical Pokémon, the titular Jirachi (Kerry Williams), which is said to awaken and grant wishes for seven days while the Millennium Comet is overhead.

Max takes the spotlight as he bonds with the playful Jirachi during his brief awakening.

That night, May “sings” what’s said to be a soothing lullaby (but is just her going “doo-de-doo” over and over) to help Max sleep and inadvertently awakens Jirachi, much to Max’s delight. Although the pixie-like Pokémon fails to live up to its legend by merely teleporting objects or people when granting wishes, Max forms an immediate bond with the childlike sprite and spends every waking moment playing with Jirachi, causing some mischief when Jirachi insists on playing when the gang are supposed to be helping Butler. Max is thus horrified when a local Absol (Eric Stuart), sensing a coming calamity, suddenly attacks Jirachi and equally enraged when May insists on counting down the days on her dreamcatcher-like trinket in anticipation of making her own wish. While I’ve never been Max’s biggest fan, it is sweet seeing him take the spotlight and form a genuine friendship with Jirachi like Ash and Pikachu. Indeed, when Max lashes out at May for constantly reminding him that his time with Jirachi is short, it’s Ash who consoles him by sharing his own experience with saying goodbye to close friends and remembering them. Though Max is extremely protective of Jirachi, he’s young and easily distracted and also not a Pokémon trainer, though even his more seasoned friends are unable to keep Jirachi from being Pokénapped by Butler. Although they save Jirachi, thanks to Absol and Diane, Jirachi is left injured in the fracas, turning the movie into a brief road trip to Jirachi’s home, Forina, so it can recover. Along the way, Max and Jirachi grow closer, making their inevitable separation even harder for Max as he just wants to do is play and be with his new friend.

Humiliated by Team Magma, Butler embarks on a misguided plot to abuse Jirachi’s power.

Unfortunately, this isn’t meant to be due to Jirachi’s nature as it routinely hibernates for a thousand years after only seven days. While this means Max’s time with Jirachi is limited, it also means Butler’s working to a very short timetable. Though appearing to be an amiable magician, Butler was once a scientist working for the nefarious Team Magma and attempted to impress them by reanimating the Legendary Pokémon Groudon from a small fossil. When his machine malfunctioned, Butler was ridiculed and excommunicated, so he plotted to awaken Jirachi and forcibly acquire the power he needed to resurrect Groudon. Butler does this by abducting Jirachi and using Dusclops to force open its “true eye”, which absorbs incredible power from the Millennium Comet and would grant Butler his wish to be acknowledged as a credible scientist. Butler’s misguided desires see him shun Diane, who’s as in love with him as he is with her, and happily endanger anyone in his path, even torturing Jirachi to achieve his ends. Butler’s aided by his fearsome Salamence (Unknown) and a slew of devices (presumably of his own making) that tie into his status as a magician. A master illusionist, Butler easily makes it seem like people and Pokémon are disappearing and even beats Ash and the others to Forina and sets up mechanical capture devices to ensnare Jirachi and properly focus its power. Butler’s Pokémon and tricks are even enough to keep the feared pseudo-Legendary Absol at bay and fend off a local Flygon (Shinichiro Miki) who helps the heroes. As is tradition for these films, Team Rocket are largely here for comic relief and have little relevance. When Jirachi awakens, they greedily follow Ash and the others to try and snag it only to end up absorbed by Butler’s abomination of a Groudon and once again relying on their enemies to save their asses.

Though fearsome, Meta Groudon is undone by Jirachi’s incredible pre-nap power.

Indeed, while Ash and the others save Jirachi from Butler’s machine, the damage has been done and a titanic, grotesque mockery of Groudon goes on a mindless rampage. Rather than being the fabled Ground-Type kaiju, this corrupted Groudon is said to be “pure evil” and sets about absorbing energy from the land, immediately decaying plant life and absorbing Pokémon and humans with its glob-like tentacles. Fearsome and completely invulnerable, this “Meta Groudon” shrugs off all attacks and absorbs anything in its path, including Absol, Team Rocket, and Diane. Horrified by what he’s unleashed and at his beloved’s fate, the remorseful Butler immediately works to reverse the damage. Though naturally distrustful of Butler, Ash agrees to help spirit Jirachi back to the magician’s machine to reverse the polarity and dispel the fake Groudon, only to be absorbed by the creature shortly before preparing his machine. Drawn to Jirachi’s energy, Meta Groudon begins to melt to try and drown the pixie-like Pokémon, only for Jirachi to successfully absorb natural energy and unleash Doom Desire, rocketing Meta Groudon into the night sky where it explodes like a firework, freeing its captives. Upon reuniting with his new friends, the exhausted Jirachi asks Max to sing the lullaby to send it back into hibernation and, though distraught to say goodbye, Max and the others willingly oblige. Thus, Jirachi turns back into a crystalline form, though Max consoles himself with the knowledge that his friend will always be with him. In the aftermath, a repentant Butler vows to recommit himself to more tangible matters, like his relationship with Diane, having learned to value what really matters in life. Though upset to have missed her chance at making a wish, May agrees with Ash that the best way to make dreams come true is to keep pursuing them, ending the film on a heart-warming message about never giving up on your goals and never forgetting your friends.

Final Thoughts:
I’ll admit that I’m slightly biased when it comes to Pokémon: Jirachi: Wish Maker. I much prefer it when the Pokémon movies have high stakes and big, explosive battles between fearsome Legendary Pokémon. It also really bugs me that we never got a movie pitting Groudon, Kyogre, and Rayquaza against each other as that could’ve made for an awesome, world threatening adventure. I’m also not a big fan of Max, who’s especially bratty here, or Jirachi, a relatively weak and largely forgettable Pokémon compared to some of its peers. Still, I don’t necessarily hate this film. It lovingly explores the nature of friendship through Max’s relationship with Jirachi, which is seen as whimsical and carefree but doomed to end in heartache as Jirachi’s time awake is so limited. There’s a meaningful lesson about enjoying the time you have, being mature enough to say goodbye, and always remembering your friends even if they’re gone and this ties in nicely with Butler’s character arc. Shunned and humiliated by Team Magma, Butler becomes obsessed with proving his intellectual superiority, forsaking everything to achieve his goal, only to be horrified when his wish comes true and results in catastrophe. Meta Groudon is a frightening presence that’s sadly underutilised and easily dispatched but results in a pretty intense finale as it wrecks the natural landscape and threatens our heroes, though I still would’ve preferred to see the real Groudon or at least seen this corrupted version battle something more interesting than an Absol. Pokémon: Jirachi: Wish Maker is one of a handful of the features that’s clearly aimed at a different, younger audience than myself and I can accept that, but it doesn’t mean I have to like missing out on what could’ve been. While there’s a heart-warming message here and some fun visuals and moments, it’s not enough for me to say this is one of the better Pokémon movies and it’s ultimately forgettable when you consider some of its messages were told far better in other films and episodes.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Pokémon: Jirachi: Wish Maker? Do you prefer the more action-packed Pokémon movies? Did you like the focus on Max and his relationship with Jirachi? Were you also disappointed that we never got a true Groudon in the films? Which Pokémon game, generation, and creature is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating National Pokémon Day today? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more Pokémon content on the site.