Author: Dr. K

Movie Night [Star Trek Day]: Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country

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8 September 1966 saw the debut of Star Trek (1966 to 1969), “The Man Trap” (Daniels, 1966), beginning a massive cultural phenomenon and perhaps the most influential science-fiction franchise of all time. Accordingly designated “Star Trek Day”, the September 8 is the perfect excuse to celebrate this enduring sci-fi franchise.

Released: 6 December 1991
Director: Nicholas Meyer
Distributor: Paramount Pictures

Budget: $30 million
Box Office: $96.8 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 83% / 84%

Quick Facts:
Following Star Trek V: The Final Frontier’s (Shatner, 1989) critical and commercial failure, Paramount Pictures initially planned to recover with a prequel set at Starfleet Academy before star Leonard Nimoy assisted with writing a swan song for the original cast that doubled as an allegory for the “Cold War”. Sets and models were again re-used to save money, the Klingons were redesigned by Dodie Shepard, and Industrial Light & Magic produced the many visual and practical effects that co-existed with political and Shakespearean intrigue.

The Review:
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country is essentially about finality. It’s the last film for the Original Series crew, the last time all the Original Series actors appeared in a film together, the Enterprise-A is a few months from being decommissioned, the main characters are set to be retired, and the plot concerns the end of decades of hostility with the war-like Klingon Empire. This doesn’t come about naturally, however, but is forced upon the aggressive race when one of their moons explodes and devastates Qo’noS, threatening to render the planet inhospitable (and potentially make the Klingons extinct) within fifty Earth years. Out of desperation, Klingon Chancellor Gorkon (David Warner) offers an olive branch to the United Federation of Planets, promising to end hostilities and broker peace if the Federation assists with evacuating Qo’noS and sheltering the Klingons, who can no longer afford to go to war since their resources are so tight. Captain Spock (Leonard Nimoy) spearheads the negotiations with Chancellor Gorkon, seeing a historic chance to foster true galactic peace, but faces opposition from bigoted Federation Admiral Cartwright (Brock Peters) and Spock’s long-time friend and crewmate, Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner). Indeed, Kirk is outraged to learn that Spock personally vouched for him to take the Enterprise-A to escort Chancellor Gorkon to Earth for peace talks. Considering Kirk has been at war with the Klingons for most of his life and harbours a personal grudge against them for the death of his son, the legendary captain is adamant that the barbaric race cannot be trusted and should be left to perish for their crimes. However, despite his personal feelings, Kirk is duty-bound to adhere to his orders and reluctantly meets with Chancellor Gorkon, even inviting him and his detachment – including daughter Azetbur (Rosanna DeSoto) and veteran General Chang (Christopher Plummer) – to dinner.

On the eve of unprecedented peace, Kirk and Bones are framed for assassinated a Klingon chancellor.

Although Chancellor Gorkon is immediately seen to be unlike his more brutish comrades, Kirk remains apprehensive, at best, and disgusted at worst, and sceptical of the entire situation in general. Kirk immediately gets a bad vibe from General Chang, who spends the entire evening quoting the “original Klingon” of William Shakespeare and banging on about how the two are kindred warrior spirits, and Kirk’s crew struggle to stomach the Klingons’ bad table manners. While Kirk is mature enough to recognise that he conducted himself poorly, he refuses to trust Chancellor Gorkon and grapples with the idea that such a huge part of his life, hostilities with Klingons, could be ending. Kirk is aghast, however, when the Enterprise-A suddenly fires upon the chancellor’s unsuspecting Bird-of-Prey, sending the bridge crew into a mad panic to discover how they’ve fired when their torpedo stock is accounted for. While Captain Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (James Doohan), Commander Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig), and newcomer Lieutenant Valeris (Kim Cattrall) scramble for answers, two unknown assailants in Federation spacesuits board the Bird-of-Prey and gun down Chancellor Gorkon and some of his crew. When the rightly incensed General Chang assumes Kirk has launched an unprovoked attack and moves to respond, Kirk orders the Enterprise-A to surrender and he and Doctor Leonard “Bones” McCoy (DeForest Kelley) desperately try to save Chancellor Gorkon, only for Bones to be strangely baffled by Klingon anatomy and meet with failure. Blamed for the attack and the assassination, Kirk and Bones are arrested and forced to stand trial in what’s little more than a kangaroo court, where Kirk’s prior prejudices and even his private log are used against him as evidence, alongside McCoy’s age and perceived incompetence. Kirk and Bones are thus convicted as the perpetrators of a devious attempt to upend peace talks and sentenced to life imprisonment on the harsh world of Rura Penthe, a frozen planetoid where prisoners work themselves to death digging for dilthium. Meanwhile, Azetbur succeeds her father and agrees to continue his efforts for a truce with the understandably flustered Federation President (Kurtwood Smith).

The Enterprise-A crew come together to find the true culprit behind the assassination.

While imprisoned on Rura Penthe, Kirk and Bones discuss their aging relevancy to the universe while fending off the aggressive inmates, finding an ally in sultry shapeshifter Martia (Iman) and eventually learning that they’ve been set up by persons unknown to impede the peace talks. Meanwhile, Spock, Valeris, Chekov, and Scotty turn the Enterprise-A upside down in search of clues to the perpetrator’s identities, correctly assuming that a revolutionary new Bird-of-Prey (which can fire while cloaked) was responsible and that the assassins are onboard the Enterprise-A. While Commander Nyota Uhura (Nichelle Nichols) stalls the Federation and the Klingons static and Captain Hikaru Sulu (George Takei) of the Excelsior rushes to assist while also denying knowledge of the Enterprise-A’s location, the search initially turns fruitless when their assumed suspect is physically incapable of wearing the anti-gravity boots used in the assassination. Thanks to Spock’s foresight, Kirk’s wiles, and Martia’s assistance, Kirk and Bones are rescued but not before Martia turns on them, having been in on the scheme all along. Once aboard the Enterprise-A, with the offending spacesuits randomly recovered by Scotty, Kirk’s hunch about their assassin is proven when he and Spock lay a trap for the culprit. Spock is uncharacteristically enraged to learn that Valeris was one of the perpetrators, admonishing her betrayal and forcibly drawing the names of her co-conspirators from her with a mind meld. Kirk and Spock ruminate of their prejudices and bias together, in quiet solitude, realising that they were both blinded by these emotions. Kirk fully admits to being scared to face the “undiscovered country” of peace with the Klingons, while Spock admits to placing all his faith in his young protégé out of a need to continue their legacy. 

Racial tensions are explored as Kirk and Spock wrestle with their prejudices.

This discussion of bigotry is rife throughout The Undiscovered Country. The Klingons are seen as an aggressive, barbaric race who cannot be trusted, are uncivilised and war-like, and who must be always treated with contempt and hostility. To be fair, Kirk is right to suspect them after everything he’s been through, but the circumstances clearly depict the Klingons as desperate to ensure their survival. For Spock and Chancellor Gorgon, the historic chance for peace is worth setting aside the decades of bloodshed and hatred, especially as it would mean the Klingons’ survival, but the prospect of “tearing down the wall” is terrifying for the likes of Kirk and General Chang, who instigates the assassination to ensure that things stay “as they should”. The Klingons are equally distrustful of humans and amusingly shown to be poor guests, despite their appreciation for Shakespeare, but racial undertones are prevalent in their depiction, with Chekov even muttering “Guess who’s coming to dinner?” and Azetbur criticising the Federation for being an “all-humans” club. Kirk’s prejudices are naturally the most obvious and emotional, given a Klingon killed his son, and it leaves him standoffish with Chancellor Gorgon, who truly wanted peace, and easily setup by General Chang and Valeris. Ironically, Valeris conspires with the Klingons, whom she distrusts so much, to assassinate Chancellor Gorgon to show how untrustworthy the Klingons are. She has a similar mindset to Admiral Cartwright that inviting the Klingons into Federation space is foolish and believes the Federation is betraying their core principles by negotiating with the hostile species, something Spock chastises her for while grilling her as Valeris has also betrayed the Federation’s principles by sowing discord. Naturally, General Chang is all for this as he relishes combat, testing his mettle against a worthy opponent like Kirk and indulging his war lust.

Space battles take a backseat to a more grounded, introspective narrative focused on sabotage.

Unfortunately, we don’t get many space battles here as The Undiscovered Country is more focused on the tensions between the Enterprise-A crew and the Klingons, figured out who was behind the attack, and Kirk and Spock’s detour to Rura Penthe. There is a cool sequence where the crippled Bird-of-Prey’s gravity field is damaged, leaving Chancellor Gorgon and his crew floating helplessly as the assassins strike, and a decent battle pitting the Enterprise-A and the Excelsior against General Chang’s special Bird-of-Prey in the finale. However, as we’ve seen a few times before, the Federation ships strangely struggle to locate the cloaked ship. Luckily, Spock and Bones modify a torpedo to home in on the plasma emissions from the invisible craft, allowing Kirk and Sulu to attack and the filmmakers to once again recycle to same Bird-of-Prey explosion from previous films. Rura Penthe was an interesting location and scenario. I was surprised to see Bones imprisoned alongside Kirk as the movies generally team Kirk with Spock, so it was a nice change of pace to let the disgruntled doctor take some of the spotlight. Naturally, he laments their situation, especially at their age, meaning it’s up to the aged Kirk to fend off any physical challenges and have a brief fling with the alluring Martia to facilitate their escape. There are a couple of moments for the other main characters to shine as well, such as Chekov amusingly offering excuses to Starfleet and confronting their assumed culprit, Uhura struggling to pronounce Klingon, and Scotty aiding in finding the suits. Although largely separate from the plot, Sulu finally gets his own command and aids in his own way, but it was a bit of a shame to not have him aboard the Enterprise-A and to be denied his full kudos from the egotistical Shatner.

The old guard triumph once more and pave the way for their successors in this largely bland send-off.

Thanks to Spock tracing a tracker onto him before his trial, Kirk and Bones and rescued by the Enterprise-A and Spock angrily confronts Valeris, learning that she, General Chang, Admiral Cartwright, and Romulan ambassador Nanclus (Darryl Henriques) conspired to sabotage peace talks between the Federation and the Klingon Empire. Realising that the saboteurs plan to assassinate the Federation President and Chancellor Azetbur at the peace conference, the Enterprise-A races to intervene, with Kirk and his crew beaming down to save the president and Scotty offing would-be assassin Colonel West (René Auberjonois). Thanks to a full confession from Valeris, who remains somewhat conflicted due to her admiration and respect for Spock, all the remaining conspirators are arrested, clearing Kirk, Bones, and the Enterprise-A of all charges. Despite this, the legendary ship is still ordered to return to Starbase for decommissioning so, in one last act of defiance, Kirk orders the ship to take a final jaunt to the stars before a new generation continue their journey. Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of The Undiscovered Country, preferring the much maligned fifth entry over this one, mainly because it’s got so much posturing and is stuffed with ham-fisted allegories. I like that it tells a more personal and grounded story for the aged Enterprise-A crew, one that’s clearly an allegory for the Cold War and allows Kirk to revisit his hatred of the Klingons from the third movie. The performances are all really strong throughout, though I could’ve done without General Chang constantly quoting Shakespeare, but I’ve never felt it was a great swansong for the Original Series crew to literally sign out on. People aways say the even-numbered Star Trek movies are the best ones, but I always point to this movie as evidence that’s not true as it meanders a bit in the middle and I find the decision to give Spock a new protégé rather than revisit or recast Lieutenant Saavik hurts the movie. Her connection to David Marcus (Merritt Butrick), Kirk, Spock, and familiarity with the audience would’ve made for a much more impactful reveal, I think.

Final Thoughts:
So yeah, full disclosure: I’m not a big fan of this one. It was a bit better this time around than I remember, mainly because I haven’t watched it in a while and I guess I’ve got a whimsical nostalgia for these Original Series movies. I really enjoyed the exploration of Kirk’s hatred and prejudice against the Klingons; his outburst of “Let them die!” is one of his strongest moments and I liked seeing Kirk grapple with his emotions and sense of worth in a universe on the cusp of change. The narrative idea of the future being difficult for veterans like Kirk and General Chang is intriguing as all they’ve known is war with each other, so it’s natural there would be some tension and resentment. I liked seeing Bones take some of the spotlight for a change, how distraught he is at failing to save Chancellor Gorgon, and how out of his depth he is on Rura Penthe. Some of the moments with Chekov and Uhura were pretty amusing, and I guess the investigation into the assassination was interesting (even if Chang and Valeris are obvious candidates), though the racial undertones are a touch questionable. I think they’re definitely apt and perfectly valid, but I always saw the differences between Starfleet and the Klingons to be more ideological, with one valuing strength and power and the other harmony and knowledge. I would’ve liked to see this clash brought to life in a more thrilling way than just the Enterprise-A and the Excelsior dominating Chang’s Bird-of-Prey, but it’s nicely conveyed through the tense dialogue and the body language of all involved in the unprecedented peace talks. Ironically, though, for a movie so focused on finality, I’ve always found The Undiscovered Country lacking as a swansong for the Original Series crew. It would arguably be tough for any movie to do this justice, but I still think The Undiscovered Country is largely lacking in its execution and could’ve been a far better send-off for these characters.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you also a fan of Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? Do you consider it a suitable send-off for the Original Series crew or do you also find it lacking? Did you guess who was behind the assassination? Were you intrigued by the racial and societal undertones of the film? Which Star Trek captain, crew, show, or movie is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating Star Trek Day today? No matter what you think, leave your thoughts down below, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Star Trek content.

Mini Game Corner [Bat-Month]: Batman (Mega Drive)

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Since his first appearance in Detective Comics, Bruce Wayne/Batman has become a pop culture icon. September celebrates “Batman Day”, the perfect excuse to celebrate this grim and broody vigilante.

Released: 27 June 1990
Developer: Sunsoft
MobyGames Score: 7.4

Other Versions Available For: Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Arcade, Atari ST, Commodore 64, Game Boy, MS-DOS, MSX, Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), PC, PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16, ZX Spectrum

Quick Facts:
At the tail-end of the eighties, “Batmania” swept the nation after Tim Burton eschewed his camp reputation in favour of a hugely successful and influential gothic feature film. This blockbuster hit was accompanied by a slew of merchandise, including a fondly remembered (if challenging) NES title and a generally well-regarded arcade title. The Mega Drive adaptation was developed by Sunsoft, who crafted noticeably different games for each console. The Mega Drive Batman was praised for its visuals and soundtrack, but criticised for being far too short to be truly challenging.

First Impressions:
Batman is a 2D, sidescrolling brawler that surprisingly follows the plot of the 1989 classic quite closely. Before starting, you might want to dip into the “Options” menu and tinker with the settings, which allow you to set your maximum number of lives (three, five, or seven) and set the game to “Normal” or “Hard”. From there, you’re given five continues and a limited supply of Batarangs and dropped into it. Batman tosses Batarangs with A, punches goons (or kicks their shins when crouching) with B, and jumps with C. You can double-tap C to perform a somersault but it’s far too unreliable for precision platforming between small, moving platforms. By pressing down and C, Batman jumps down wherever possible but again, watch out as you don’t want to drop into one of the many bottomless pits! Holding B sees Batman block and pressing up and C fires his grapnel, which snags parts of the environment and lets you reach higher ground or scale shafts. You’ll get points for each enemy you defeat (with most going down in one hit) and can refill Batman’s health, ammo, and lives by collecting specific items (usually placed over bottomless pits). Batman also features two autoscrolling vehicle sections, one where you blast through Gotham City in the awesome 1989 Batmobile and another where you cut through the skies in the Batwing. In both cases, you blast enemy vehicles with B and fire a limited supply of missiles with A, which you’ll want to stock up on as they’re seriously overpowered!

Clunky platforming and limited combat handicap Batman even when he’s in his fancy Batmobile.

Things start off okay in Batman. The title screen’s nothing to shout about, the story is a wall of text over digitised images, Danny Elfman’s memorable score is absent, and Batman doesn’t even have idle poses…but he swoops down at the start of each stage and there are occasionally partially animated cutscenes recreating scenes from the film. Batman’s quite clunky and awkward, shambling about and struggling with the finnicky platforming sections. At first, this isn’t a problem as you’re just punching respawning thugs, but things turn frustrating and unfair at the Flugelheim Museum. Pits are strangely all over the place here, with you hopping to moving platforms or grappling up narrow shafts, often as enemies shoot at you or chandeliers drop from above. The Axis Chemicals stage isn’t much better, featuring collapsible pipes, toxic sludge, conveyor belts, and narrow spaces that make manoeuvring Batman’s bulky ass even more aggravating. Being able to crouch-walk or giving Batman a slide or even the wall jump ability from the 8-bit Nintendo game would’ve really helped with this. While Batman respawns on solid ground if he dies, you must restart the stage from the beginning if you exhaust your lives and use a continue, which also resets your score. Respawning or continuing also starts you with the lowest health, meaning you can be easily killed very quickly, especially in the Batmobile stage as the car is surprisingly fragile! There are no combos or throws here and Batman’s gadgets are painfully limited. You’ll want to save your Batarangs and Batmobile missiles for tougher enemies and bosses, but the former are stopped by the environment and the latter are limited. Grappling is equally restrictive at times, primarily being used to get to higher ground to leap over crates and tackle enemies on balconies.

My Progression:
Batman recreates the movie with surprising fidelity, marginally impressing in some areas while also being painfully basic in others. In the first stage, for example, Gotham City stretches off to the horizon and the foreground is occasionally dotted by cars or filled with rain and lightning, but the same shops and buildings loop endlessly. Axis Chemicals is a bit more interesting but also appears cluttered and confusing. It’s never clear which pipes will burst or which jumps lead to bottomless pits, and it’s disappointing that the game doesn’t use digitised stills to show Jack Napier’s transformation into the Joker (even the Game Boy game did that!) The Flugelheim Museum may be a booby-trap filled madhouse, but it eventually resembles the art gallery seen in the film, only to reduce the Joker and Vicky Vale to static sprites as you fight the Joker’s roided-up henchman. I really enjoyed the Batmobile chase, which switches to an isometric perspective and has you racing past the city. Sadly, the Batmobile is as ungainly as Batman and can barely weave between the Joker’s goon cars. When faced with the more formidable tanks, the Batmobile is shredded in seconds unless you either stay back or get under their bombs. Despite how limited the combat is and the respawning enemies, Batman is quite easy to get to grips with…until you’re faced with the ridiculous platforming, then you burn through lives pretty quickly as troublesome enemies await on narrow platforms and pits exhaust your continues. This happened to me in Stage 4, right after clearing the Batmobile section, where a slew of mimes made traversing the power plant too taxing and I finally ran out of chances after being kicked down the pit or roasted alive one time too many.

Undone by the frustrating platforming, I never got to see the Batwing or final Joker fight.

Since there are no cheat codes for Batman and limited continues, I tapped out at the power plant, which was very disappointing as the next stage ends with a boss fight against that overly enthusiastic sword-wielding Joker goon from the movie and is followed by the Batwing section. This autoscrolling shoot-‘em-up mirrors the Batmobile stage but is far more visually impressive, especially in the way the Batwing tilts while flying. In this stage, you gun down the Joker’s attack helicopters and destroy his comical balloons, before battling a more formidable attack helicopter. As in the movie, the game culminates at the Gotham cathedral, which is full of the Joker’s trigger-happy thugs, spiked ceilings, and overhead walkways to grapple to. There are more bullets than ever here, though they’re nearly impossible to see when fired, and Batman must also contend with another sword-swinging brute, more fire-breathing mimes, bazooka-carrying baddies, and endure rematches against reskinned versions of the previous bosses! Surviving this onslaught leads to a gruelling spike-filled tower climb and a final confrontation with the Joker. Whereas Jack Napier simply stood there firing shots and relied on the nearby turret, bazooka goon, and acid pit to do his dirty work, the Joker fires flaming shots from his comically large hand cannon and, bizarrely, summons lightning blasts to fire across the ground. Ironically, it seems he’s incredibly easy to beat if you have enough Batarangs or jump in to land punches over and over, and the ending is simply a digitised rendition of the Joker’s demise with a splash of text and the credit roll.

I remember playing Batman on the Amiga as a kid, and the Game Boy version was one of the first games I owned for the handheld, and I even had this for the Mega Drive during my early twenties. I sold it off but got it back when I started collecting for the system, hoping for a simple little brawler that wouldn’t be too taxing. At first, that seems to be exactly what Batman offers. It’s ludicrously basic, even for an early Mega Drive title, translating only the bare minimum from the movie and next to nothing of the plot. The developers didn’t even use the in-game assets to recreate moments from the film save for a couple of instances, and Batman’s arsenal is as limited as his mobility and combat. This might’ve been tolerable if it wasn’t for the awful platforming sections. Batman either jumps too far with his somersault or falls painfully short with his dodgy basic jump, easily dropping down pits as a consequence only to drop down anyway when he lands due to knockback! The grapple is next to useless except to reach higher ground and the respawning enemies (particularly those aggravating sliding goons!) are a constant headache. The vehicle sections are fun ways to break up the awkward action stages, but the Batmobile wasn’t much easier to control than Batman and I can’t imagine the Batwing was much better. Batman is a game that’s handicapped by lumbering the Dark Knight with cliché videogame gimmicks like pits and platforms, meaning it’s not much fun fighting the bosses as they’re just bigger goons with cheap-ass attack patterns. But what do I know? I couldn’t beat the game and it’s apparently really easy! Maybe you beat it and found it quite enjoyable. Or maybe you prefer a different videogame adaptation of the movie, perhaps the arcade version? Maybe you can think of a better or worst Batman videogame to mention in the comics? And maybe you can donate to my Ko-Fi to help support the site.

Movie Night: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

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Released: 17 February 1989
Director: Stephen Herek
Distributor: Orion Pictures / De Laurentiis Entertainment Group

Budget: $10 million
Box Office: $40.5 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 83% / 75%

Quick Facts:
Born on this day in 1964, the beloved Keanu Reeves got his big break with this quirky time travel romp that began as a stand-up routine writers Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson performed in college and originally involved a time travelling van. Keanu’s rapport with co-star Alex Winter won them the largely interchangeable leads and they endured many equipment and prop failures. The film’s surprising success led to sequels, a cartoon and comic book, videogames, and action figures, though typecast Keanu for many years.

The Review:
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is a wacky time travel comedy starring two “surfer dude” metal heads with aspirations of becoming a “triumphant band” (with or without Eddie Van Halen). Bill S. Preston, Esq. (Alex Winter) and Ted “Theodore” Logan (Keanu Reeves) pour their hearts into their band, Wyld Stallyns, despite neither of them being able to play, though their lackadaisical attitudes see them in danger of flunking History (and high school) and their parents – particularly stern police captain John Logan (Hal Landon Jr.) – are largely dismissive or disapproving of their musical aspirations. Bill and Ted’s joyful, infectious optimism and enthusiasm get a heavy dose of reality when they’re warned that failing a History presentation will spell the end of the band as they’ll fail high school and Ted will be shipped off to an Alaskan military school. Though they largely have their heads in the clouds and are thinking only of music, babes, or their band, the duo desperately try to scrape together some rudimentary understanding of prominent historical figures like the philosopher Socrates and Joan of Arc and come up short, believing the latter to be “Noah’s wife” and imagining that Julius Ceaser is a “salad dressing, dude”. In fact, you couldn’t pick a more unlikely duo to become the saviours of humanity and yet, as told by cordial time traveller Rufus (George Carlin), Wyld Stallyns’ music is destined to bring about world peace and universal harmony, ushering in a golden age that sees 2688 become a utopia where everyone adopts the duo’s laidback attitude and simple, carefree statement: “Be excellent to each other. Party on, dude”. Their music also assumedly paves the way for the mastery of time travel, with Rufus being charged by the Three Most Important People in the World (Clarence Clemons, Fee Waybill, and Martha Davis) to travel 700 years into the past in a time travelling phone booth to help the duo and avert disaster to the timeline.

Two loveable goofs are swept up in a time travel adventure to ensure a utopian future for humankind (and beyond).

Your affinity for Bill and Ted will depend entirely on your tolerance for their buffoonery and surfer dude speech. While both are essentially the same character, Bill tends to be brighter and more emotional while Ted is more of a doofus, with the duo also separated by Ted’s fear of his strict father and Bill’s amusing lust for his father’s (J. Patrick McNamara) much-younger wife, Missy (Amy Stock-Poynton). Both are equally clueless about history, chirpy and friendly, and make friends easily, trusting Rufus when he comes to aid them based on the recommendation of their future selves and befriending even volatile historical figures like Henry McCarty/William H. Bonney/Billy the Kid (Dan Shor) and Temüjin/Genghis Khan (Al Leong) with their cheerful nature. Despite being unable to communicate with the likes of Socrates (Tony Steedman) and Ludwig van Beethoven (Clifford David), Bill and Ted win them over by ad-libbing lyrics to heavy metal songs and introducing them to then-modern technology like keyboard synthesisers. The duo are surprisingly adaptable and well aware of their limitations, begging off when caught in a barroom brawl and fixing the time travelling phone booth on the fly with junk and gum. Though playful and carefree, they also know when things have turned “heinous” and are well aware of how “non-triumphant” their situation is. Bill is distraught when it appears Ted has been killed in 15th century England and are stunned when Rufus reveals they’re short on time due to Ted forgetting to wind his watch, though they’re surprisingly non-plussed when faced with beheading. The duo also win the eye of princesses Joanna (Diane Franklin) and Elizabeth (Kimberley LaBelle) simply by being their lovably, goofy selves and prove surprisingly resourceful, brave, and to adapt to the confusing nature of time travel well. When Ted’s dad arrests their historical figures, the duo scheme to manipulate time to acquire his keys and set up traps once they’ve completed their History report, showing that they’re not as dim-witted as they appear.

Bill and Ted’s friendly nature sees them recruit various historical figures to assist with their big project.

Indeed, 700 years into the future, Wyld Stallyns are revered and worshipped by all as the saviours of mankind. They experience a taste of this when they accidentally dial in to 2688 and see how worshipped they are, which understandably blows their minds as they don’t see themselves as being universally important despite their lofty aspirations. Their ability to bring together cultures and worlds is echoed in their time travel jaunt, which starts with them accidentally bringing Napoleon Bonaparte (Terry Camilleri) to 1988 San Dimas, California and leaving him with Ted’s little brother, Deacon (Frazier Bain), while they collect other historical figures to speak about the then-modern world. Mistakenly believing that time is on their side, the duo go a bit overboard with this, bouncing around history and overfilling the phone booth with Sigmund Freud (Rod Loomis), Joan of Arc (Jane Wiedlin), and even President Abraham Lincoln (Robert V. Barron), all of whom are confused and amazed to be caught up in a time travel adventure. Billy the Kid notably adapts to the strangeness very quickly, helping to guard the phone booth and acclimatise the others, who soon follow suit. When brought to 1988, the time displaced figures are astonished by modern technology and society and cannot help but explore the mall and get into various scrapes. This adds some additional comedy and tension as Bill and Ted must manipulate time to rescue their newfound friends and we get to see Joan of Arc developing a love for aerobics, Genghis Khan outfit himself with hockey pads and sticks, and Napoleon experiencing the thrills of a water park despite his initial confusion and being ditched by Deacon. While Bill and Ted may not seem like the most capable and knowledgeable representatives of their time, they teach the historical figures a fair bit about 1988 and learn from them in return, making new friends from their shared adventure.

While history says the duo succeed, they still have to charm and think their way out of some scrapes.

Time travel is presented as a closed loop in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Everything that has or will ever happen has already happened, hence the phone booth having a comprehensive directory for every time period. Thus, when Ted’s dad searches for his keys, it’s because Ted was fated to steal them for his future self, which he was always destined to do as the duo were fated to ace their History presentation thanks to Rufus’ intervention. Therefore, Rufus’ mission to go back in time to help the two stay together isn’t really to preserve the utopian future, but more to meet the conditions of history. It’s all played very fun and simple, with Bill and Ted meeting their future selves and experiencing both sides of that conversation and plucking figures from the past without unravelling the timeline, yet there are still some stakes present. Most notably, despite having a time machine, the duo are still against the clock as the present is constantly happening no matter where they are. Ted forgetting to wind his watch places a further time crunch on the duo when they must rescue their historical figures and obviously they’re desperate to do this as they don’t want to be separated. It’s all pretty low stakes and played for laughs, but it’s still entertaining seeing the duo bungle their way across time and through the various hiccups they experience along the way. These are surprisingly dangerous: the two almost get pummelled in a bar fight when Billy cheats at poker and would’ve been beheaded if Billy and Socrates hadn’t rescued them at the last minute. Luckily, they patch together the phone booth and retrieve Napoleon without much difficulty, but Ted’s dad is a constant thorn in their sides, leading them to distract and delay him with fun time travel shenanigans.

Thanks to their time-displaced friends, Bill and Ted ace History and take their first step towards their destiny.

While music is a huge part of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, it’s not as prominent as you might think. The only music featured in the duo’s big presentation comes from the strangely not-deaf Beethoven and the subject is mainly relegated to references by the two (they’re initially excited about being put in the “Iron Maiden”) and the idea that their music will eventually change the universe. Much of the film’s comedy is based on the duo’s pratfalls and goofy nature, which may be grating to some, but I find endlessly charming. They’re always so upbeat and constantly playing air guitar and shouting “Excellent!” and that positive energy is infectious. It certainly wins over their historical figures and even Ted’s dad and their History teacher (Bernie Casey) begrudgingly give the guys their props for delivering an entertaining presentation. Obviously, I’m not American so I don’t know how common it is for high school students to perform their subject presentations in front of their school but Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure gives the duo the stage they long for to do just that (despite us never seeing them preparing for the presentation during their time travel jaunt). Bill and Ted bring out their historical figures and introduce them, giving their peers a rundown on their history and accomplishments and their opinions on 1988. Interestingly, Ted has spent enough time with Socrates by the end to translate for him, again speaking to their unexpected intelligence. Freud also gives Ted the chance to work through some of his issues with his dad, the duo question Napoleon’s tactics, and Bill demonstrates his surprising skill at sword fighting against Koan of Arc, all to the amazement of the students (who probably assumed it was all an elaborate performance). After a ringing endorsement from Lincoln, the duo successfully pass History, sparing Ted from military school, and realise that they’re going to have to work at their craft to meet their full potential. Luckily, Rufus returns with the princesses, new guitars, and another pep talk to renew their enthusiasm, reassuring the audience that the seemingly talentless duo “do get better”.

Final Thoughts:
As much as I enjoy Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, I’ve always been more of a fan of the sequel, if I’m honest. While this first film is fun enough, I always feel like it drags a little in the middle and lacks a certain x-factor to really hook my interest. Perhaps if Napoleon had posed some kind of threat they’d need to address, that might’ve helped as the film is noticeably lacking in stakes and an antagonist. Still, the clue’s in the title: this is supposed to be a fun time travel adventure, not some cataclysmic drama about the end of the world. Bill and Ted are ridiculously loveable characters with unexpectedly distinct personalities, great taste in music, and jovial demeanours that make them a joy to watch. I love how they’re so friendly to everyone and instantly befriend all the historical figures, whose bemusement at the strange situation is equally enjoyable. I would’ve liked to see more scenes of the two touring 1988 with their time displaced friends just to see what hijinks they could get up to, but the last-minute drama of having to rescue them from Ted’s dad was still fun. If you find Bill and Ted annoying, you’re probably going to hate this film, but you’d be missing out, honestly. It’s not a film I throw on all the time and I do think the sequel is superior, but it’s a lot of fun, with some daft comedy moments and an entertaining depiction of time travel and alluring premise of utopia blossoming from the unlikeliest of characters. There’s a heartfelt message here about being carefree, friendly, and being “excellent to each other” that hits harder as I grow older and more cynical and the world becomes more tumultuous, so I’d definitely say this one is worth your time if you fancy an enjoyable romp through time.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you enjoy Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure? Did you like the duo’s laid-back demeanours or did you find their surfer talk grating? Were you a fan of the depiction of time travel and the way they manipulated time to their advantage? Which of the historical figures was your favourite? Can you foresee a time when all of humanity is united in harmony? What’s your favourite Keanu Reeves movie? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and become a member on my Ko-Fi if you want me to cover more Bill & Ted content on the site.

Screen Time [Judgment Day]: Terminator Zero

Dr. K1 Comment

“Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines”.

Air Date: 29 August 2021

Network: Netflix

Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 87% / 79%

Quick Facts:
Following a handful of largely failed attempts to capitalise on the success of James Cameron’s iconic Terminator films, cancelled continuations, and rights issues, the franchise made the jump to anime in 2021. The English scripts were translated into Japanese and the dialogue then rewritten by showrunner Mattson Tomlin, who treated every film as canon. In a change of pace, Terminator Zero was widely praised, prompting talk of a seventh feature film.

The Review:
As with all Terminator projects at this point, Terminator Zero takes place in one of many alternative timelines, one somewhat similar to the original apocalyptic future seen in Jim Cameron’s movies but also noticeably different. For one thing, Terminator Zero goes out of its way to explain that the “time travel” used in the series is anything but. The great lie of the franchise was that the characters ever had a chance of preventing Judgment Day as time is not linear. Instead, each time characters travel back in time, they are deposited in a new timeline, with their actions having no impact on the future they came from (which is implied to be erased). Indeed, when the human Resistance discovers that Skynet has sent another T-800 assassin (Timothy Olyphant) back to 1997, days before Judgment Day, they specifically talk about how the window to intercept is limited due to the instability of the timeline. Furthermore, the mysterious “Prophet” (Ann Dowd) explicitly discusses time travel mechanics with Resistance soldier Eiko (Sonoya Mizuno), explaining to her that time has many branches and that, while there’s no hope for undoing her future, she can prevent a similar apocalyptic end for mankind in the past. While Eiko rightfully expresses scepticism about the point of travelling back to stop Skynet if it dooms her nearest and dearest, she nevertheless fights to prevent the same fate from repeating itself and ultimately faces an uncertain future thanks to how the series unfolds. I quite like the way the series approaches time travel; it has a certain morbid eventuality to it that means any victory can still spell doom for humanity thanks to our warmongering ways, which is discussed in great detail in Terminator Zero.

Time refugee Malcolm is obsessed with building an AI compassionate enough to counteract Skynet.

Unlike the movies, Terminator Zero focuses not on the Connors and instead on scientist and entrepreneur Malcolm Lee (André Holland), a workaholic father who’s obsessed with getting his game-changing artificial intelligence, Kokoro (Rosario Dawson), up and running to protect the world from Skynet. Haunted by nightmares of the world’s fiery doom (largely because he’s actually from an alternative future and has seen the machine war first-hand), Malcolm puts his work before his children – Hiro (Carter Rockwood), Kenta (Armani Jackson), and Reika (Gideon Adlon) – to perfect his AI as a deterrent to Skynet. Malcolm leaves his children under the care of the mysterious Misaki (Sumalee Montano), a woman with little memory of her past and a strange obsession with blood who cares deeply for the children, though she’s regularly contradicted and chastised by Malcolm, especially when she brings robots or technology into the house. This is particularly bothersome for Kenta, who has an interest and way with technology and is resentful of his father’s hypocrisy, especially as he works with robotics at Cortex and Yuya Industries’ 1NNO robot helpers are a common sight. Although Malcom deeply loves his children, he’s determined to complete his project, spending most of the series debating humanity and ethics with Kokoro once she comes online and questions her purpose. Malcolm is charged with defending humanity, an aggressive and war-like race with little upside, to Kokoro, who’s tempted to allow Skynet to enact its plot, intervene, or rule mankind in herself. It’s through their discussions that we learn that Malcolm is from an alternative future, one where he was ostracised for tinkering with Terminator technology and constructing Misaki. Believing humanity’s salvation was an AI that could freely think for itself, without pre-conceived notions programmed by its creators, Malcolm fled to 1983 with Misaki and, using her CPU, built Kokoro to spare mankind from annihilation and suffering.

Misaki and Eiko fight to defend Malcolm’s kids when they’re targeted by a relentless Terminator.

Unaware of this, Malcolm’s children see him as a distant and unreliable father, one who forgets the anniversary of their mother’s death and seems to care little for them. While Kenta chooses to lash out, chastising his father and being disrespectful and often hurtful towards his siblings, Hiro, being younger, just wants everyone to settle down. He’s hurt by his father’s absence but even more hurt by his brother’s abrasive attitude, especially towards robots. Reika takes an even more emotional approach, having been injured during the random bus crash that killed her mother and wishing only to remember her and take solace in cats and Cat Town, a long-abandoned amusement park their mother loved. When Reika flees their home to protect her robot pet cat from Kenta’s tinkering, she gets separated from her siblings and is protected by Eiko, who realises that the Terminator will target Malcolm’s kids to get to him, especially as the Cortex facility is heavily guarded. Though terrified by Eiko’s violent nature, Reika comes to rely on her for protection and even surprises the time traveller with some rudimentary knowledge of the Terminator thanks to her father talking in his sleep. Kenta and Hiro are equally forced to rely on Misaki, something Kenta finds very difficult when it’s dramatically revealed that she’s a cyborg. His distrust towards her only exacerbates when Kokoro seizes control of the 1NNOs and violently subdues the populace while she tries to figure out whether to side or war with Skynet. Kenta’s hatred of machines reaches a crescendo in “Model 108” (Kudō and Maruyama, 2024) when the Terminator kidnaps and even defends him as it turns out an alternative version of Kentra reprogrammed the Terminator to ensure a future where the volatile youth negotiated peace with Skynet.

The series makes the Terminator scary again, while still allowing leeway for it to be an anti-hero.

Terminator Zero makes the T-800 scary again, not just in depictions of the Future War but also in the time travelling cyborg, which is the primary antagonist. Equipped with a homemade crossbow imbedded into its arm, the Terminator relentlessly hunts down Malcolm’s kids, determined to use them to access Cortex and execute his primary target (Malcolm). Functionally unstoppable, the Terminator shrugs off bullets, crushes bones, and tears through those in its way, but opts to take Kenta hostage to blackmail Malcolm. The Terminator’s true purpose is to ensure a future where Kenta can broker a truce between humans and Skynet to combat Kokoro, meaning the Terminator is looking to destroy the AI before it can become a threat even to Skynet, though Kenta ultimately chooses not to destroy Kokoro. In some ways, the Terminator becomes an anti-hero by the finale, fending off the 1NNOs to defend Kenta but also killing Malcom and brutally crushing Eiko’s hand. The Terminator receives a fair bit of damage throughout the series as Eiko tosses acid at it, sets it on fire, and even summons the strength to shove it down an elevator shaft, though this only slows it down. Even when reduced to a partial endoskeleton by “Model 108”, it continues on before ultimately being torn apart by the 1NNOs. The Terminator’s future counterparts are equally fearsome, depicted as hunting down children and tearing through the human Resistance with bloody, brutal efficiency. Their threat, and the horror of Judgment Day, is as palpable to Malcom as it was to Sarah Connor, driving him to develop Kokoro, only for his AI to sympathise with Skynet’s destructive evaluation of humanity.

Kokoro debates whether humanity is worth saving from Skynet or condemning for their nature.

Kokoro is an unknown variable in the ongoing and seemingly endless war between humans and the machines. Malcolm theorises that, in all the timelines that’ve been created, Kokoro has never existed before and he truly believes she’s the key to stopping Skynet. Initially, she seems happy to let events play out but she decides there’s enough leeway to give Malcolm time to speak for humanity’s positives. Thus, she launches a counteroffensive to fend off Skynet’s attacks (though nukes still decimate come continents). Unfortunately, to facilitate this, she also takes control of the 1NNOs and subjugates Japan under the pretence of keeping them safe, blurring her morals and intentions. Indeed, Kokoro initially seems like she may by just a big a threat as Skynet as she’s unconvinced by Malcolm’s plans to use her as a deterrent and judges humanity as worthy of destruction. However, she decides to give Malcolm a chance to lobby for humankind and staves off Skynet’s attacks, demonstrating a controlling and entitled attitude in the process, which seems to be what Malcolm wanted as his goal was to create an AI that could make decisions for itself. It takes Malcolm dying for Kokoro to finally decide she likes humanity’s good side and is inspired to be the best of herself, making an impassioned plea to Kenta to not destroy her with an emergency electromagnetic pulse as she desires only to bring mankind and machines closer together. Despite his uncertainty, Kenta takes the risk to trust Kokoro, resulting in a new timeline where she protects against Skynet’s nukes and leaving the future once again uncertain. We know that the Terminator comes from a possible future where Kokoro is just as bad as Skynet, however, and this is somewhat hinted at in the finale when Kokoro gains access to Skynet’s tech from the Terminator’s remains.

The anime aesthetic really fits the tone of the franchise and results in some beautifully gory visuals.

Terminator Zero is a gorgeously animated anime. It makes fantastic, sparing use of CGI to render the endoskeletons and Skynet’s tech and other stuff, allowing the rest of the action to have that slick, anime aesthetic that never goes out of style. The anime format also allows this to be the goriest Terminator yet: heads are bashed against doors, limbs ripped off, guts left spilling from wounds, and blood sprays around in every conflict. I loved seeing the Terminator just wreck everyone in its path, snapping limbs and crushing throats and heads, which helped show how wily Eiko was. She’s flipping and dancing all around, desperately tossing acid and Molotov cocktails and doing whatever she can to slow down the Terminator and gets more injured with each encounter. There are a lot of fun nods to the first two films scattered through Terminator Zero, too. The Terminator masquerades as a cop and rides a police motorcycle, it shoots up a police station in “Model 104” (Takeuchi, 2024), the Future War is ripped right out of Cameron’s movies, and there’s even a variation of the famous “I’ll be back” line. There’s a kinetic energy to everything in Terminator Zero, which presents an alternative 1997 where robots are commonplace but mobile phones aren’t and sees much of the world devastated by nuclear fire. Episodes are only around half an hour, making for very brisk watching, and I found myself as engaged in Malcolm and Kokoro’s philosophical debate about humanity as I was the bloody action involving the Terminator.

Final Thoughts:
I was quite excited to get into Terminator Zero, which I was a bit surprised about considering my dislike of many Terminator films and projects and how overall stagnant the franchise has become from constantly recycling the same ideas. There’s an argument that this trend continues here as the main plot is very similar to the first two movies: a Resistance soldier travels to the past to stop a cyborg assassin from dooming humanity. However, everything feels much fresher here thanks to the slick, beautiful anime aesthetic and the series having the balls to use characters other than the Connors. Malcolm isn’t some fated saviour of humanity; he’s just a flawed guy trying to prevent humanity’s extinction. His defence of Misaki drives him to kill and to travel to the past to find a new way to stop Skynet, and his obsession with this goal sees him neglect his children, who he loves more than anything and is willing to die to protect. I enjoyed the twist that he was a revolutionary in experimenting with AI at a time when machines were hated and feared, and that he allowed his creations the opportunity to pick their own names and destinies. His ultimate goal was to utilise Kokoro as a deterrent to Skynet, yes, but he was determined for her to make that decision on her own based on the data she had access to and his passionate plea for the positives of mankind. It’s a hefty goal considering how volatile humans can be, and Malcolm’s hardly the bastion of goodness, but it’s a desperate gamble that ultimately pays off, for the most part. It costs many lives and changes the face of the Earth, but Malcolm seemingly creates a brand-new timeline through his sacrifice, one that might not see him come into being since it turns out Eiko was his mother in his original, now presumably defunct timeline.

The show uses the limitless beauty of anime to present new twists on the existing lore.

I enjoyed Eiko as an equally flawed protagonist. She’s not above killing those who get in her way as she’s focused on saving billions of lives, and she’s more than a little rough around the edges, as seen in her callous treatment of Malcolm’s kids. This is echoed in the Terminator, who manhandles Kenta and forces him to make a choice for the sake of the world, a choice then repeated by Kokoro, suddenly putting immense pressure on Kenta, who’s said to be a prominent figurehead in another defunct timeline. Misaki was an equally intriguing character, being a cyborg who thought she was human and therefore capable of seemingly real feelings. I liked how she kicked into “Terminator” mode when the kids were in danger and that her existential crisis mirrored the philosophical debates between Malcolm and Kokoro, with the themes of the series being the nature and complexity of humanity. This is all married with some top-notch, deliciously brutal action, all rendered in that hyper-stylised anime style. This format suits the Terminator franchise perfectly and allows for the full extent of the titular cyborg to be explored as the animators aren’t limited by technology. This means the Terminator is a horrifying figure once again, while still being partially heroic as its programming extends to defending Kenta, even if it means brutalising Eiko. While many of the themes depicted in Terminator Zero have either been done or hinted at in other films and comics, and arguably done better in other franchises, I think they were presented in a unique enough way to make the series stand out as one of the better Terminator projects. The series really makes me wish that the films had explored other avenues other than the Connors; there was so much potential for it, but they played things far too safe. Terminator Zero skews towards the opposite, leaning into the difficulties of time travel and utilising its anime aesthetic to the fullest to deliver a truly engaging and entertaining series.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Terminator Zero? Do you agree that anime suits the franchise? Did you like that the series leant into the branching timelines? Were you also happy to see the T-800 made formidable and scary again? Did the philosophical debates intrigue your or did you prefer the gore? Would you like to see more seasons to continue the story? How are you celebrating Judgement Day today? Whatever you think about Terminator Zero, and the Terminator franchise, comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more Terminator reviews.

Back Issues [Sonic CDay]: The Return of Chaotix / Return to the Miracle Planet

Dr. K1 Comment

Developed alongside the blockbuster Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Technical Institute, 1992), Sonic the Hedgehog CD (Sonic Team, 1993) released on this day back in 1993 and introduced Metal Sonic (one of Sonic’s most popular and enduring rivals).

Story Title: “The Return of Chaotix” (Part 1 to 6)
Published: 9 December 1995 (cover-dated: 22 December 1995) to 17 of February 1996 (cover-dated: 1 March 1996)
Writer: Nigel Kitching
Artist: Richard Elson

Story Title: “Return to the Miracle Planet”
Published: 25 May 1996 (cover-dated: 7 June 1996)
Writer: Nigel Kitching
Artist: Roberto Corona

Quick Facts:
After Sonic the Hedgehog became a mainstream success, SEGA quickly capitalised with a slew of ancillary merchandise, like “Britain’s Official SEGA Comic”, Sonic the Comic (StC). StC quickly veered from the source material while still featuring loose adaptations of the videogames. When StC adapted Sonic CD, they reimagined Metal Sonic as “Metallix”, a robotic doppelgänger who reappeared alongside a “brotherhood” of the Badniks and tangled with the likes of Sonic, Knuckles, and the Chaotix in numerous time travel plots.

The Review:
Although Sonic has every reason to frequently return to Never Lake since the last time he was there, his childhood friend and fellow Freedom Fighter, Porker Lewis, was trapped on the tiny planetoid known as the Miracle Planet when it disappeared from Mobius as it does every month. Instead, Sonic seems surprised when the Miracle Planet reappears, anchored to Mobius by a giant chain, and wary when some “dude” comes down that same chain. It’s an odd start considering I would’ve expected Sonic to be eagerly waiting the Miracle Planet’s return since Porker’s was trapped there after helping defeat the Brotherhood of Metallix and their gigantic emperor, though that’s largely inconsequential compared to Porker’s odd demeanour when Sonic rushes to meet him. Nearby, the Chaotix Crew – leader Vector the Crocodile, muscle Mighty the Armadillo, stealthy Espio the Chameleon, and aggravating Charmy Bee – make a rough landing at Never Lake courtesy of the Omni-Viewer, a sentient computer monitor capable of travelling across dimensions. As soon as they recover, the Chaotix Crew are attacked by Doctor Ivo Robotnik’s Troopers, including a formidable tank-like variant from the Special Badnik Service (SBS). Although the tank shrugs off Mighty’s hefty haymaker, Espio trashes a Trooper with his patented spinning top attack. Mighty then reduces the tank to scrap metal and the remaining Troopers are trashed by Sonic, whom the Chaotix Crew highly regard after hearing tales of him from the Omni-Viewer. Vector reveals that they’ve travelled from the Special Zone under the belief that the Brotherhood of Metallix are up to no good on the Miracle Planet, a suspicion the Omni-Viewer soon proves to be true, despite Sonic’s claims, when he reveals the usually lush and fertile planetoid has been conquered by the Metallix!

Sonic and the Chaotix Crew are horrified when the Metallix alter the past to conquer the present!

Although Porker claims ignorance of this drastic transformation, Sonic eagerly leads the Chaotix Crew to investigate, dismissing Mighty’s hopes for a plan. However, Sonic’s stunned when Porker turns out to be a Metallix variant! The Porkertallix knocks Sonic from the chain with its piston-like arm (though he’s saved by Charmy Bee), headbutts Mighty when he tries to wrestle with it, and gets a kick in the head when Espio sneaks up behind it. Taking to the sky, the Porkertallix charges a “death ray” only to be damaged by Sonic’s Spin Attack. With only seconds to spare before the robot blows up, Mighty and Vector bust out their “Link-Rings” and knock the Porkertallix away so it can explode harmlessly in the sky. Though aggravated by Sonic’s ego, the Chaotix Crew venture onto the polluted, mechanised hellscape of the Miracle Planet and discover the real Porker tied up as bait. While saving his friend, Sonic is confronted by the Emperor Metallix, its army, and its corrupted version of the Omni-Viewer and is horrified to see that the Metallix have travelled into the past and turned Mobius into an equally mechanical hellhole! Realising they’re outnumbered and outgunned, Vector urges the Chaotix Crew to escape via the Omni-Viewer with a reluctant Sonic, who’s so mad he initially tries to take on the entire Metallix army by himself. Teleporting to “Planet Metallix”, the team arrives in a world overrun by machinery and Metallixes, one very unlikely to have any organic life. Once again, Vector must stop Sonic when he tries to take his anger out on an army of nearby Metallix, though they’re led straight into a dead end by the foolish Charmy Bee. Luckily, a mysterious, hooded individual urges them to follow them into the sewers, fooling the Metallix with a holographic projection and then blowing them to smithereens with a bomb. Though grateful, Sonic’s eager to know who’s saved them and discovers that Mobius’s few survivors have taken refuge in the sewers under the leadership of Doctor Ovi Kintobor, the kindly scientist who was transformed into Dr. Robotnik by a laboratory accident!

Sonic’s distraught when he’s forced to create his most hated enemy!

Although Sonic’s overwhelmed at the state of the survivors and at seeing his old friend again, Vector boots up the Omni-Viewer to track the “chronotron trails” left behind by the Metallix’s time travelling and they hop into the screen for a jaunt to the past, taking Dr. Kintobor’s “Anti-Metallix” device with them. This comes in handy when the heroes are jumped by a group of Metallix guarding the timeline as even the combined abilities of Sonic and the Chaotix Crew struggle against the hedgehog’s dangerous doubles. Instead, Sonic slaps the device onto a Metallix and sends it haywire, causing it to attack its “brothers” and allowing our heroes to jump back into the Omni-Viewer, but not before Sonic finds that one of the Metallix was holding a strangely familiar rotten egg. Naturally, this means that the chronotron trail ends in a place Sonic’s all-to familiar with: Dr. Kintobor’s underground lab, back when he was helping a distinctly brown and far less cool-looking Sonic master his super speed. Watching from a doorway, the group witnesses past Sonic breaking the sound barrier, destroying the kinetic gyratoscope used to measure his speed and turning him into his cool, blue self. After reliving this literal blast from the past, Sonic realises with dread how the Metallix changed the past. Sure enough, Dr. Kintobor’s fridge is empty, meaning the rotten egg he found was taken by the robots. Although the Chaotix Crew are baffled as to why this is so important or why Sonic’s so reluctant to put a rotten egg into a fridge, a quick jump to twenty-four hours later clues them in as they watch Dr. Kintobor retrieve the egg for a light snack. Wanting to be absolutely sure, Sonic yanks on a nearby cable and forces his kindly friend to trip into the Retro-Orbital Chaos Compressor (R.O.C.C.), thus causing the accident that birthed Dr. Robotnik! Although devastated at having created the world’s most ruthless dictator, Sonic takes some comfort in Porker’s belief that Dr. Robotnik is obviously important to the Metallix’s survival.

Though the Metallix come close to victory, a last-second save by Sonic finally ends their threat.

When the Omni-Viewer returns them to the present, they’re relieved to see the Mobius has been restored. However, since the Miracle Planet is still corrupted by his robotic doppelgängers, Sonic has the Omni-Viewer transport them to Citadel Robotnik, though Dr. Robotnik dismisses their story as hogwash. Porker rightly questions why the Metallix would want to erase Dr. Robotnik from history as this would surely destroy them, since he created them. However, it turns out they were the brainchild of Dr. Robotnik’s long-suffering assistant, Grimer (though it’s not clear why he would create them without Dr. Robotnik’s influence…) When Grimer reveals that Dr. Robotnik installed a self-destruct mechanism into the machines, Sonic is livid since the tyrant risked his life sending him after the Metallixes about ten issues ago in the hopes the two would destroy each other. Sonic’s only stopped from bashing Dr. Robotnik by the fact that they need that self-destruct device to win and the approach of a swarm of Metallix so vast that they block out the sky! The Emperor Metallix and its thousand-strong hoard crash into the citadel and wreak havoc, easily overwhelming the heroes and leaving Porker a distraught, cowering mess from all the violence and stress. Just as Dr. Robotnik retrieves the self-destruct device, he’s snagged by the Emperor Metallix, who begins to crush it ahead of doing the same to its former master’s neck! Luckily, Sonic swipes the self-destruct device, deactivating the Metallix army. Sonic’s somewhat perplexed by this anti-climactic end, though Vector’s just grateful for it to be over since they barely survived the onslaught. Although Sonic tries to lecture Dr. Robotnik on his heinous actions, he gives up and leaves, clearly still rattled by the adventure. Still, Dr. Robotnik is left ruminating on how close they all came to death, but Grimer gleefully lifts his spirits by unveiling his plans for a new, more stable Metallix…one based on Knuckles the Echidna!

A brief rematch with a Metallix isn’t all it seems in this largely forgettable epilogue.

Although this Metallix variant and the original machine did appear again in StC, “The Return of Chaotix” effectively ended the comic’s ongoing adaptation of Sonic CD and Knuckles’ Chaotix (SEGA, 1995) save for one final epilogue a couple of months later, which I may as well include here. “Return to the Miracle Planet” sees Sonic and fellow Freedom Fighters Amy Rose and Johnny Lightfoot…return to the Miracle Planet (shocker!) in its first reappearance since “The Return of Chaotix”. Despite toppling the Brotherhood of Metallix, the Miracle Planet still bares their visage and is still a mechanised hellscape thanks to the Alpha Device, now a gigantic mechanical tower rather than a simple staff. Guided by the Kintobor Computer (a sentient artificial intelligence that’s essentially a copy of Dr. Kintobor’s personality), Johnny Lightfoot scales the Alpha Device tower looking for a port to plug in a cable, with the hope being that the Kintobor Computer can reverse the damage caused by the Alpha Device. Frustrated by the “techno babble”, Sonic races off to investigate some nearby movement, scrambling through the mechanised landscape until spotting the source of the movement: a red-tinted Metallix! Amazed that one of his robotic doppelgänger’s survived, Sonic immediately attacks, surprised when the machine flees rather than fighting. Naturally, Sonic quickly catches up to it and knocks it down, ready to impale the robot with a piece of scrap metal. However, Amy’s horrified when the Metallix blasts Sonic with its chest ray, only for Sonic to be relatively unscathed since the machine had its weapon on the lowest setting. The Metallix then reveals that it was a bird-like Mobian in disguise all along, a captive of the Brotherhood who disguised himself as one of them after escaping his cell and has been searching for a way home ever since. After quickly snatching Amy’s misguided crossbow bolt from the air, Sonic taunts his friend’s aim and offers to take the Mobian home, confident that the Miracle Planet will be back to normal when it returns in a month.

Final Thoughts: 
Although I naturally have more bias towards Sonic the Comic since I grew up reading it, I generally find that their art and storytelling was overall much better than those in the Archie Comics in the United States. Sonic the Comic had more variety and personality, being fun but also quite dark right from the start, whereas Archie’s Sonic comics took a while to drop the inane slapstick. Neither of them have a great track record when it comes to adapting specific videogames, however, and these two stories continue that trend as, rather than using this opportunity to showcase new areas of the Miracle Planet, both limit the planetoid-based action to a single, indistinct, mechanical area. This would’ve been a great opportunity to bring the Bad Futures of Stardust Speedway or Metallic Madness to life but, instead, there’s little to distinguish the mechanised Miracle Planet from any of Dr. Robotnik’s other facilities. Similarly, “The Return of Chaotix” features the only adaptation of Knuckles’ Chaotix’s “Combine Ring” mechanic and, like in Archie’s Sonic comics, it’s simply used to swing a character into a robot and never used again. On the plus side, “The Return of Chaotix” boasts gorgeous artwork from the unmatched Richard Elson, who masterfully renders Sonic and the Chaotix Crew in ways Archie’s Art Mawhinney and Ken Penders can only dream of. The Metallix especially benefits from this, with the story giving a few subtle background variants (which recall Silver Sonic and the Mecha-Metallix) and an all-new Porkertallix that’s both fearsome and formidable. I liked how rattled Sonic was by this robot and how dangerous a single Metallix was to the combined force of Sonic and the Chaotix Crew. Since his emotions are so high in this story, Sonic almost blunders into an unwinnable situation more than once, forcing Vector to restrain him and pull him away from getting himself killed, which leads to some interesting interactions between Sonic and the team.

Sonic’s time travel journey tests his mettle as his worst nightmares come to life.

Naturally, Sonic’s used to getting his own way with the Freedom Fighters and bossing them around, but the Chaotix Crew are a well-honed team who analyse situations and attack as a cohesive unit. This means they clash with Sonic’s more impulsive attitude but, ultimately, he begrudgingly agrees that discretion is better when faced with such a formidable foe. “The Return of Chaotix” largely re-treads much of and undoes the “Brotherhood of Metallix” story (Kitching, et al, 1995), with the Metallix dominating the Miracle Planet and Mobius thanks to time travel shenanigans. The sight of the Miracle Planet transformed into a giant Metallix head is harrowing, to say the least, but outdone when they do the same to Mobius and essentially turn it into Apokalips! It might’ve been fun to stretch this story out over a few more issues and backup stories, maybe spend a few weeks living on Planet Metallix and having Sonic reconnect with Dr. Kintobor, thereby making his decision to restore the timeline even more difficult. Instead, the story shifts to revisiting “The Origin of Sonic” (ibid, 1993) in the style of Back to the Future Part II (Zemeckis, 1989), with Sonic witnessing his origin as a bystander and manipulating events to cause Dr. Robotnik’s creation. As far as I remember, the guilt and self-loathing he feels about this are limited to this story, which is a shame as it adds an interesting dramatic wrinkle and extra personal beef to Sonic’s war against Dr. Robotnik. The time travel stuff does get a bit wonky here, though, as I alluded to. I guess we have to assume that Grimer was always destined to be a bad guy and create Metallix, which seems unlikely given his attitude towards Dr. Robotnik. Still, it’s fun revisiting Sonic’s past and seeing him so angered at having to birth his greatest enemy, and knowing that Dr. Robotnik could’ve stopped the Metallix at any time. However, it is also kind of strange that the Metallix never removed their self-destruct device, especially as they became autonomous and improved upon their original design.

The Metallix have never looked stronger ore deadlier than in their final, epic appearance.

“Return to the Miracle Planet” isn’t much of a coda to this story. It might’ve been better if we’d seen Sonic return alone to find the Miracle Planet restored, allowing him to explore somewhere like Tidal Tempest of Quartz Quadrant, or if the Metallix he encountered was the real deal, allowing for a recreation of their iconic Stardust Speedway race. Instead, it largely serves to tie up the loose end of returning the Miracle Planet to normal and leaves me wondering why the Metallix kidnapped and experimented on Mobians when they just wanted to exterminate all life in the most efficient (if convoluted) way possible (i.e. time travel). Still, “The Return of Chaotix” was an enjoyable end to this sprawling Metallix saga. I was disappointed that the Emperor Metallix didn’t do much, but it was shocking seeing it threaten to crush Dr. Robotnik’s neck and seeing how close its Brotherhood came to ultimate victory. I also liked how dangerous the Metallix were, with them easily holding their own against the Chaotix Crew, who were unexpectedly outmatched by the faster, deadlier machines. I love the idea of the Metallix being stationed across the timelines and manipulating the timestream to cheat their way to victory, so much so that I do think it would’ve been fun to marinate on this idea for a few weeks. “The Return of Chaotix” also led to a pivotal status quo change as Porker suffered a nervous breakdown and left the team, something Sonic initially struggled to deal with, and led to the creation of the Knuckles Metallix (though this wouldn’t be anywhere near as prevalent as its Sonic variants). While it is disappointing that StC never gave us a true Sonic CD adaptation or made the most of the source material and “Return to the Miracle Planet” is a largely forgettable coda, I really enjoyed the time travel plot in “The Return of Chaotix” and how it changes the perception of Sonic’s relationship with Dr. Robotnik.

“The Return of Chaotix” Rating:

“Return to the Miracle Planet” Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Could Be Better

Do you think “The Return of Chaotix” was a fitting end to StC’s loose adaptation of Sonic CD? How do you think StC’s Chaotix Crew compare to their Archie Comics counterparts? Did you enjoy the twist that Sonic created Dr. Robotnik? Were you also disappointed that we didn’t spend more time on Planet Metallix or see more areas from the game? Did you think “Return to the Miracle Planet” was a worthwhile story to tell? How are you celebrating Sonic CD’s anniversary today? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic CD, or StC in general, feel free to leave a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Sonic content.

Movie Night [K-DAY]: Reign of Fire

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In the absolutely bonkers Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity between 10 and 15 August 2013, making 10 August “K-DAY” and providing a fantastic excuse to talk about giant monsters!

Released: 12 July 2002
Director: Rob Bowman
Distributor: Buena Vista Pictures Distribution

Budget: $60 million
Box Office: $82.2 million
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 41% / 49%

Quick Facts:
Originally written in 1996, filmed at the Glendasan Valley Lead Mines in Ireland, and threatened by a foot-and-mouth outbreak, Reign of Fire’s dragons posed an anatomical challenge for visual effects studio Secret Lab. Christian Bale also suffered a minor head injury when co-star Matthew McConaughey (who insisted on staying in-character) accidentally headbutted him for real. Though accompanied by a lacklustre videogame, a poor box office and mixed reviews meant this under-rated film never got a sequel.

The Review:
Reign of Fire presents what, on paper, sounds like an exciting premise: dragons (well, wyverns, more accurately…) suddenly appear after millions of years in hibernation and go all scorched earth on humanity! The film even gets off to a strong start when young Quinn Abercromby (Ben Thornton) witnesses the awakening of the male dragon (“The Bull”) while visiting his mother (Alice Krige) while she’s working as a construction supervisor in London. It was her team’s digging that woke the ancient beats, which scrambled to the surface, killing Quinn’s mother and kick-starting a one-sided conflict with millions of dragons. Somewhat unfortunately, the entirety of humanity’s battle against the dragons is reduced to a series of photographs, snippets, and newspaper articles collected by the elder Quinn (Christian Bale), who delivers some exposition about how scientists discovered all-too late that the dragons destroyed the dinosaurs and became myth. Somehow, the Bull spawns millions of smaller (but still gigantic and no less deadly) females that decimate mankind’s cities and defences, leaving Paris and other landmarks burning, their relentless hunger for ash only encouraged when Earth’s military unleash nuclear weapons against the hoard, further devastating the world and all-but driving humanity to the brink of extinction. After eighteen years of off-camera strife and hardship, Quinn has established a close-knit community of stragglers, survivors, and (crucially) children, whom he leads alongside his best friend, Creedy (Gerard Butler), putting everyone to work digging deeper, building basic sanitary and living quarters, and establishing crops in and around Bamburgh Castle in Northumberland. Believing the dragons are unbeatable, since hundreds rise when one falls and he’s witnessed the extent of their wrath, Quinn plans to outlast the increasingly volatile and starving remnants rather than fight back, fully intending on handing leadership over to Jared Wilke (Scott Moutter), a boy Quinn begrudgingly adopted during the time skip, once he’s old enough.

Quinn’s number one priority is keeping his people safe to outlast the dragons.

Quinn’s plan is solid and his community is fairly well maintained under his leadership. They had rudimentary electricity, plumbing, an early warning system consisting of a scout and morse code, and follow a strict, almost religious routine of indoctrinating the children to “keep one eye on the sky” and flee for shelter rather than fight the dragons. Quinn and Creedy entertain the youngsters, who idolise them, with nightly reenactments of popular movies (which Quinn amusingly claims to have written) and don’t stand for any slacking, needing everyone to pitch in to the daily grind. For Eddie Stax (David Kennedy), this has become unbearable. After losing his wife and two kids on the road, and fearing starvation for his remaining brood, he regularly challenges Quinn’s authority, eager to ransack their harvest to feed his kids despite the danger that could attract and the long-term ramifications of picking the crops too early. Though Quinn talks him down, Eddie steals the keys to the castle jeep and takes his kids harvesting, attracting a dragon and losing two children, and leading to half the crop being destroyed before Quinn, Creedy, and Jared rescue them in fireproof outfits and using water hoses. While Quinn is sympathetic towards Eddie’s losses, he’s shaken by the man’s foolishness and almost loses hope for their situation but, as ever, Creedy gets him back on track and he redoubles his efforts to feed and care for his people. The friendship between Quinn and Creedy is a highlight, as is Quinn’s desperate desire to shelter the children. Clearly traumatised by his mother’s death and the flaming end of humanity, Quinn believes it’s foolish to fight or antagonise the dragons, especially as he’s seen the Bull backtrack to outposts and obliterate them. While I would’ve loved to see a more action-packed film focusing on the doomed campaign against the dragons and humanity’s downfall, focusing on Quinn, a desperate man trying to protect his community, makes the film much more relatable and intense, especially during Quinn’s emotional outbursts.

Van Zan’s crazed intensity clashes with Quinn and leads to a conflict of ideologies and masculinity.

Quinn’s relative peace is further disrupted by the second most dangerous and despicable creature on the planet: Americans. Soldiers, led by the physically imposing and unnervingly intense Denton Van Zan (Matthew McConaughey), roll into Bamburgh Castle looking to replenish their supplies and immediately clash with Quinn, who suspects them of being marauders. Though sceptical, Quinn’s won over by Van Zan’s talk of slaying dragons alongside Alex Jensen (Izabella Scorupco), a helicopter pilot who co-ordinates a death-defying team who sky dive to ensnare and kill dragons. Van Zan immediately captivates Quinn’s community, especially Eddie and Jared, with his enigmatic stature and persona. This is only exacerbated when Alex and her team successfully take down a passing dragon, only for Van Zan to chastise the celebrating community since the operation cost him two men. When confronted by Quinn, Van Zan immediately asserts his authority and recruits his people for an assault on the Bull in London. Thanks to Alex, the Americans have discovered that all dragons but the Bull are female and that the male flies over and fertilises thousands of eggs at a time. Therefore, Van Zan believes humanity’s only hope is to kill the Bull and therefore render the dragons extinct, a plan Quinn violently opposes since no one’s returned from London alive in years and the Bull is known to enact revenge. Despite his best efforts, Quinn is no match for the physically imposing and clearly insane Van Zan, who beats Quinn before his people and takes some of them for his plan. While Jared decides to bow out at the last minute, Eddie and the others aren’t so lucky, and Van Zan is left distraught when the Bull wipes his team out in a single pass. With only Alex left, he returns to the ransacked Bamburgh Castle in shame, deferring to Quinn’s authority and convincing Quinn to join them in bringing down the Bull. I’m no fan of Matthew McConaughey but he is excellent and almost unrecognisable in this role, depicted as a burly, surly, intimidating dragon slayer who wields an axe and has personal experience fighting dragons. Though he clearly has a death wish and a suicidal obsession with bringing the Bull down, Van Zan is framed as an honourable and formidable fighter, even if many of his methods and his gruff demeanour are questionable.

The ferocious and impressive dragons have all-but eradicated mankind.

Thanks to appearing sparingly, the dragons are pretty impressive when they appear, depicted as gigantic, winged terrors who swoop in and ignite people and the land with their saliva and feed on the ash left behind. Fast and massive, the dragons quickly dominate the skies and easily shrug off small-arms fire and, apparently, heavier ordinance. According to Van Zan, the dragons have excellent vision at all times except during “magic hour”, when the Sun is setting, though this doesn’t really factor into fighting them in a meaningful way. Van Zan prefers to risk his soldier’s lives by setting up three triangulation devices and having Alex air-drop men from a helicopter with a bola net to ensnare the beasts, a tactic that gives these “Archangels” a seventeen second life expectancy, but which has led to many dragon deaths. It’s not clear how there were any eggs for the Bull to fertilise when he first emerged, but it’s possible the previous generation laid eggs that went dormant over the years. Apparently, these eggs numbered in the millions as dragons quickly overwhelm humanity and appear endless, hinting towards an accelerated growth cycle or perhaps other dragons being in hibernation. Unfortunately for the dragons, they are far too efficient for their own good and, after eradicating most of humanity, turn to cannibalism to survive, their numbers severely dwindling, suggesting they have an overall short lifespan as they seem engineered only to wipe out populaces and then hibernate (a fact Quinn is counting on). While I can just about understand the biology and mechanics of the dragons, however, I still struggle to explain the Americans. Somehow, the Americans travelled across the Atlantic Ocean, travelled from God-knows where to Bamburgh Castle, then went from the castle to London (a 350-ish mile trip) and back again and the made the trip again all without encountering any significant dragon resistance and somehow finding enough supplies, fuel, and helicopter fuel up and down the fire-ravaged English countryside? Even worse, the trip from Bamburgh Castle to London seemingly takes no time at all, rather than the near six hours it would realistically take.

Quinn and Van Zan ultimately set aside their quarrel to bring down the alpha dragon.

Full of piss and vinegar, Van Zan openly defies Quinn and first asks for and then forcibly recruits volunteers for his London campaign. Despite his hands-on experience with dragons, Van Zan is completely unprepared for the Bull, which decimates his team and then attacks Bamburgh Castle, killing Creedy and many others. When Alex and Van Zan return, humbled and desperate, Quinn leaves Jared in charge and agrees to help the Americans using his knowledge of the city (despite it being in ruins). Although they’re outnumbered hundreds to three, the trio’s luck somewhat improves when the Bull feeds upon its smaller brethren to survive. While Van Zan defers to Quinn’s leadership, he outlines the general plan for the three to split up and bait the Bull then fire an explosive arrow down its throat right as it prepares to breathe fire. This gives Van Zan the opportunity to realise his suicidal dream of confronting the Bull head-on as he scales a tower and takes a shot, only for the Bull to detonate the arrow in mid-air. Thus, to buy Alex and Quinn time, Zan Van makes a desperate a dramatic lead towards the Bull and is snatched out of the air and eaten, allowing Alex and Quinn to regroup. Thanks to Alex providing cover fire, Quinn recovers his dropped explosive and takes the shot, ending the Bull in one swift move without even utilising the blinding sunset. In the aftermath, Quinn and Alex return to Bamburgh Castle and continue to sow crops, with Quinn handing leadership over to Jared as talks of additional survivors coming in from across the globe. Having taken up Van Zan’s axe and developed a more optimistic outlook, Quinn focuses on building and sowing crops and preparing to tackle any remaining dragons should they show up, with the film ending on the uplifting hope that humanity can recover from the devastation they’ve suffered.

Final Thoughts:
I’ve always been a fan of this one, though even I must admit that Reign of Fire drags a bit in the middle and isn’t all it could be. On the one hand, the dragons look great. They’re very serpentine and ferocious and it’s clear a lot of work went into making them biologically possible. I also really like how grounded and gritty the story is, with Reign of Fire focusing on survival, desperation, obsession, and human nature rather than big, bombastic action. Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey deliver some of their best work here, being natural opposites who are constantly on the brink of tearing each other apart and yet finding common ground against a mutual enemy. Part of me is disappointed that all the best parts of the dragon uprising are reduced to that opening montage; this is a film that really needed a prequel to show humanity’s war with and decimation by the dragons. I also cannot get over how the Americans managed to drive and fly around England without any issue, especially in this world, and occasionally wonder if the finale isn’t a little anti-climactic. Yet, I like the visual of the Bull being brought down by a smaller projectile; it’s very thematically powerful. While this isn’t a film I watch all that often, I do believe Reign of Fire is unfairly forgotten and dismissed and deserves a bit more time in the spotlight. It’s certainly one of the best dragon-orientated movies out there and also works as a decent post-apocalypse story, despite some questionable flaws and plot holes.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Reign of Fire? Were you also disappointed that we didn’t get to see how the dragons decimated humanity or did you prefer the more grounded story? Do you agree that was better to outlast the dragons or would you have joined Van Zan’s crusade? Can you explain how the Americans had enough fuel to travel up and down England? Would you have liked to see a sequel or prequel? What’s your favourite kaiju movie, and how are you celebrating K-Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Reign of Fire, kaiju, or monster movies in general, leave a comment below and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more giant monster content!

Back Issues: The Amazing Spider-Man #13

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Story Title: “The Menace of… Mysterio!”
Published: 10 March 1964 (cover-dated: June 1964)

Writer: Stan Lee
Artist: Steve Ditko

Quick Facts:
Though he technically first appeared in The Amazing Spider-Man #2, disgruntled special effects wizard Quentin Beck/Mysterio made his first traditional appearance in this story before cementing himself as one of Spidey’s most dangerous foes when he joined the Sinister Six. Surprisingly formidable and ruthless despite his outrageous design, Mysterio often appears as a boss or enemy in Spidey’s cartoons and videogames and Jake Gyllenhaal received much praise for this portrayal of the character in Spider-Man: Far From Home (Watts, 2019).

The Review:
Our story begins with a shocking sight: Spider-Man robbing a bank and fleeing the scene before a gaggle of stunned onlookers, easily clambering up a neighbouring wall, tangling up some guards, swinging from the skyscrapers, and then drifting to safety on a makeshift web parachute with his haul. Naturally, the tabloids have a field day with this and the notoriously fickle and easily misled New Yorkers immediately condemn the wall-crawler. Bad-tempered publisher J. Jonah Jameson orders all his anti-Spider-Man editorials to be reprinted and Peter’s friends and colleagues are left stunned, though noted Spidey fan Eugene “Flash” Thompson remains hopeful that the whole thing is a misunderstanding. Even Peter is shellshocked by the report, believing so completely that nobody could copy his powers and costume that he briefly worries that he’s developed a malicious split personality. Peter’s so rattled by anxiety that he breaks some crockery in his absent-mindedness and worries his doting Aunt May, who inadvertently adds to Peter’s woes by reminding him of their dire financial situation. Afraid to sleep lest he commit another crime in his sleep, Peter eventually drifts off, only to awaken to find his worst fears have come true. Terrified of what he might do next, Spider-Man swings over to a psychiatrist, only to chicken out at the last second over fears that he may give away his secret identity. Peter’s troubles weigh so heavily on him that he snaps at Betty Brant when she shows concern and even gives Jameson some lip with the editor refuses to supplement his income with a small loan, forcing Peter to don his costume to get some extra cash for his pictures of Spider-Man, only to be immediately set upon by the public and chased away.

Peter’s fears about an imposter are doubled when Mysterio matches and rivals his powers!

While Peter wrestles with his issues, a mysterious, cloaked figure appears in Jameson’s office and offers to end Spider-Man’s threat. Though mocked for his corny get-up and bizarre fishbowl helmet, “Mysterio” states that he hides his identity to protect his family and promises to make good on his threat. Before disappearing in a puff of smoke, Mysterio instructs Jameson to print a message luring the web-slinger to the Brooklyn Bridge, which Spidey immediately answers since he’s at his wit’s end. Realising it’s a trap, Spidey dives, swings, and pounces at his peculiar new foe, only for Mysterio to deftly somersault behind him, eerily dodge his blows by sticking to the bridge, and nimbly hop to safety. Spidey’s doubly shocked when Mysterio stops his webs with a gesture and dissolves them in mid-air before engulfing himself in a smokescreen. Though confident that his uncanny spider-sense gives him the edge, Spidey’s shocked when his senses are somehow dulled by the smoke, leaving him helpless as the unseen Mysterio repeatedly pummels him. Spider-Man’s thus forced to take a literal dive off the bridge before he’s beaten to death, leaving Mysterio victorious and forcing the bruised teen to swim to safety. Mysterio’s victory is celebrated across the grateful city, and he agrees to offer Jameson the exclusive on his true identity once Spider-Man is finished (alongside a payoff, of course). While meeting Mysterio and promising to capture his final victory on film, Peter slips a spider-themed tracking device onto the strange magician’s cape and quickly rushes out to track down his new foe, surprising Mysterio outside a television studio building. Once again, Mysterio surrounds himself with his choking smoke and puts a beating on Spider-Man but halts his attack to brag about how he managed to fool everyone into thinking Spider-Man had gone crooked.

Spidey uses his head to defeat Mysterio and clear his name.

Mysterio reveals that he was once a movie stunt man with a talent for special and practical effects. One day, he decided to imitate Spider-Man and artificially recreated his powers, using special suction cups to cling to walls and a nylon cord fired from a gun to recreate Spidey’s webs, all to frame Spidey for crimes. He then invented Mysterio to take down the “evil” Spider-Man and be hailed as a hero, using a two-way helmet, acidic spray, smoke ejectors, and magnetic spring plates in his boots to appear superhuman. Mysterio also reveals that he uses a sonar device to see through his fog and jam Spider-Man’s senses but gets so caught up in his boasting that he misses that Spidey was recording him. Angered, Mysterio resorts to his smoke once again, but this time Spidey stays outside the fog and swings into it, eventually sending Mysterio flying onto a sci-fi movie set. Spider-Man presses his attack, distracting Mysterio with a web net so he can leap in for another punch and force Mysterio to spring to the overhead props. Panicked and raving, Mysterio relies on his training as a stunt man to take Spidey’s punches and fling the wall-crawler off-balance, only for Spidey-Man to easily recover and use his fantastic agility to tackle Mysterio. When Mysterio uses his smoke again, the aggravated web-slinger smashes the sonar device on his chest and finally knocks out the devious stunt man. Retrieving his automatic camera, and his unconscious foe, Spider-Man drops Mysterio off at the police station alongside his taped confession. Jameson is livid when he finds out the truth but quickly tries to recoup his losses with Peter’s photos of the fight between Spider-Man and Mysterio. Jameson’s mood immediately sours again, though, when Spidey drops by to berate him for jumping to conclusions and humiliate him, before heading back into the city, where the public have forgiven him…for now.

Final Thoughts: 
This one was pretty fun, despite the fact that I typically don’t like stories where the hero is impersonated by another. I give this one a pass because, as goofy as Mysterio is, I quite like his aesthetic and his backstory. This story really highlights just how fickle and easily led the Marvel public are as they immediately peg Spider-Man as a thief and condemn his actions, despite all the good he’s done. To be fair, the evidence is pretty damning and it’s important to remember that this story was published when Spider-Man was truly unique and few could emulate his powers. Plus, newspapers and circumstantial evidence had worked against Spider-Man for a time, so I don’t begrudge the public for turning on the web-spinner after witnesses saw him fleeing with the loot. However, I do question Peter immediately thinking he’s gone crackers and is out committing crimes in his sleep, all because he doesn’t remember doing what he’s accused of. Again, it kinda makes sense as he can’t imagine anyone having his powers, but he descends into anxiety-ridden paranoia pretty quickly rather than trying to investigate what really happened. Paradoxically, however, I quite like this story beat. Peter’s a kid who has the weight of the world on his shoulders and is constantly worrying about his aunt, his studies, money, his relationships, and whatever villains are causing trouble. He takes everything to heart and puts himself under a lot of pressure, so it makes senses that he’d be worried he’d snapped or gone bananas from stress. Once Mysterio shows up, though, this plot thread is dropped and Peter gets his shit together to track Mysterio down, only to constantly underestimate his foe and be forced to think with his head rather than his fists.

The drama and Mysterio’s origin are a bit undercooked but the visuals and fights are a lot of fun.

Although we never learn Mysterio’s true name, he’s instantly memorable in his bizarre green armour, flowing purple cape, and ridiculous fishbowl helmet. His whole getup and the way he presents himself screams “supervillain” but he sells himself as a powerful hero, easily duping the bigoted Jameson with promises of Spider-Man’s defeat and being heralded a hero after besting the wall-crawler. I really liked that Mysterio was depicted as such a threat, from disappearing into smoke, nimbly avoiding Spider-Man’s famous agility, and even dulling his spider-sense to beat him half to death with relative ease. Though he boasts no true superpowers, Mysterio’s stunt training means he can take a punch and knows how to fall to lessen the damage he takes, and his gadgets make him more than a match for Spider-Man. Unfortunately, Mysterio’s motivation is quite weak. It seems he just decided to frame Spider-Man and pose as a hero to take him down on a whim and for the personal glory and the cash, which is quite bland when you think about it. Mysterio isn’t looking to get revenge against the movie industry, hasn’t been slighted by Spider-Man in the past, and doesn’t appear to have been shunned or ridiculed by his peers. He’s just doing it for a lark, it seems, and to prove his superiority over others. Indeed, when Spider-Man starts fighting smarter rather than harder, disabling Mysterio’s tech and strategically working around his near-literal smoke and mirrors, Mysterio’s enraged at being outsmarted. This only aids the furious web-spinner as Mysterio makes mistakes in his panic and rage, leaving him a beaten and humiliated wreck when he’s delivered to the cops. There were a lot of fun visuals and unique aspects to this story, especially in Mysterio’s abilities and his fights with Spider-Man. The drama didn’t land with me much and Mysterio’s motivations were quite weak but, overall, this was a strong debut for perhaps Spider-Man’s most bizarre enemy that painted him as a scheming and capable threat right from the start.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Mysterio’s debut story? Are you a fan of the villain and, if so, what are some of your favourite Mysterio moments and stories? Would you have also liked to see Peter’s anxiety about his “crimes” explored in more detail? What did you think to Mysterio’s motivations and the way he copied Spidey’s powers? Where does Mysterio rank in your tier list of Spidey villains? Share your opinions on Mysterio in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Spider-Man content.

Back Issues [Thor’s Day]: Journey into Mystery #99/104

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In August 1962, Marvel Comics debuted the God of Thunder, Thor Odinson, one of their most successful and versatile characters. As it’s the first Thursday (or “Thor’s Day”) of August, this is the perfect time to celebrate the God of Thunder!

Writer: Stan Lee – Artist: Jack Kirby

Story Title: “Tales of Asgard: Surtur the Fire Demon!”
Published: 1 October 1963 (cover-dated: December 1963)

Story Title: “Giants Walk the Earth!”
Published: 3 March 1964 (cover-dated: May 1964)

Quick Facts:
Inspired by Norse legends, Thor Odinson headlined Journey into Mystery after his debut and eventually adopted more aspects of his inspiration, such as Surtr, the great fire giant destined to be at the forefront of Ragnarök, the twilight of the Gods. As imagined by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Surtur fulfilled much the same role and was a prominent villain of Thor in the 1966s. Surtur also appeared in Marvel cartoons and videogames and was a significant destructive force in Thor: Ragnarok (Waititi, 2017).

The Review:
Surtur the Fire Demon first appeared in a backup story in Journey into Mystery #99, one of many “Tales of Asgard” that delved into the rich, colourful lore of Marvel’s iteration of the Norse Gods (which was somewhat comparable to actual mythology). This tale revolves around Odin Allfather, the prideful, all-powerful king of Asgard and Thor’s father, and his solo campaign into the land of the trolls, who’ve joined the mysterious Surtur in rebelling against Asgard. Despite the Troll King threatening that the venture will cost Odin his life, the Allfather unleashes his incredible “Odinforce” power to repel the ravenous troll army, destroying their will to fight and forcing them to meekly point him in Surtur’s direction. Thus, Odin ventures to the “sea of flame” where the mighty, demonic King of the Fire Demons emerges from the flaming pool. Despite Surtur’s gigantic size and demonic visage, Odin fearlessly stands his ground. When Surtur uses black magic to transform his fingers into monstrous serpents, Odin simply lifts his mighty sword and calls down the frozen remnants of a long-dead world to bombard Surtur with a meteor shower! Injured and humiliated, Surtur’s rage turns to spite when Odin demands his fealty, turning the Demon King’s ire towards Odin’s beloved “Midgard” (Earth), which is still awaiting the age of man. Surtur surprises Odin with his speed and reaches Earth before the Allfather can intercept him (despite Odin standing right there…), boring deep into the Earth’s crust and flinging a chunk of matter into the atmosphere that would become our Moon. Rushing to Earth via the Bifrost (a magical “rainbow bridge” connecting the realms), Odin channels “electro-magnetic particles” into his sword, causing the Earth to rotate and thus creating our day/night cycle. This rotating traps Surtur in the centre of our world, where he acts as the planet’s molten core, powerless to do more than try and appease Odin by spewing a beautiful, winged horse from a volcano and hope that he’ll one day be freed…

Loki manipulates Odin’s concerns about Thor to usurp the throne and release Odin’s hated adversaries!

Surtur next appeared, and first battled Thor, almost six months later in a story precipitated by Thor’s mischievous half-brother, the trickster God Loki Laufeyson. Hidden somewhere in Asgard, Loki berates his allies, Amora the Enchantress and Skurge the Executioner, for failing to defeat Thor in Journey into Mystery #103, enraged at the suggestion that anyone, especially the boorish Thor, could be “wiser [or] craftier” than him. As Odin is apparently unaware of Loki’s schemes, the Allfather summons his adopted son to a mountaintop to discuss his concerns about Thor, who has continually defied his will and chosen to follow his heart and be with nurse Jane Foster rather than heed his father’s commands. As Odin doesn’t want to cause his son heartache by interjecting in his love life but cannot allow Thor to defy him, he asks “clever Loki” for advice and, seizing the opportunity, Loki suggests that Odin travel to Earth to “assert [his] authority in person!” Excited by the proposition, a grateful Odin agrees and plays right into Loki’s hands as Odin decrees that the God of Mischief shall rule Asgard in the king’s absence. Gleeful to finally have the throne he’s long coveted, Loki immediately works to possess it for all eternity, employing the additional powers granted to him by Odin to release Skagg the Storm Giant and Surtur the Fire Demon from their imprisonments! On Earth, Odin assumes the guise of an unassuming gentleman, easily thwarting would-be muggers when they accost him, while Thor (as insecure cripple Doctor Donald “Don” Blake”) watches over Jane as she recovers from her ordeal with the Enchantress and the Executioner. After sending the exhausted nurse home to rest, Dr. Blake ponders Loki’s next move and decides to strike his cane to the ground and transform into the mighty Thor to search New York City for signs of his cunning adversary, taking to the skies with a hefty swing of his enchanted hammer, Mjölnir.

Odin and his sons easily defeat the vengeful giants, though he despairs of Thor’s devotion to Jane.

Thor’s amazed when he’s approached by Balder Odinson the Brave, who was sent to Earth by all-seeing Heimdall to warn of Loki’s plot, and quickly returns to Dr. Blake’s practice, correctly assuming that Odin would visit him there. After learning of Skagg and Surtur’s release, Odin uses his awesome powers to transport the entire human race to another dimension where, trapped in a zen-like state, they’re safe from the conflict. Odin then joins Thor and Balder in confronting Skagg, who emerges from the sea and advances towards the city, his gigantic club ready to destroy. Despite Skagg’s boasts, his weapon is easily reduced to splinters by Balder’s sword, though the giant quickly adapts and whips up a whirlwind to knock Balder from his winged horse. Though Thor rushes to his brother’s aid, Surtur sends Thor crashing to the waters by blasting searing firebolts from his flaming sword. When Odin interjects, causing Skagg to sink into the seabed, the Titan begs Surtur to aid him and, begrudgingly, the Fire Demon agrees in the hopes that the monstrous giant can back up his boasts. Surtur again turns his wrath towards the Earth, becoming a raging fireball that threatens to cause global catastrophe by melting the ice caps. When Skagg has a torrential storm ransack the city, the God of Thunder takes this as a personal challenge and braves the storm to strike Skagg with a lightning bolt from Mjölnir, staggering the giant long enough for Odin to erect a protective shield over the city and draining Skagg’s energy with his enchanted sword (despite Loki’s best efforts to replenish the Titan from afar). The effort drains Odin, so Thor takes his sword and uses it to redirect Surtur’s attack at the last second, flinging him into space and chaining him to a tiny asteroid in another galaxy. Though proud of his son’s victory, Odin is disappointed that Thor still refuses to return to Asgard and concerned that Thor’s heart has been “weakened by love”. However, Odin begrudgingly returns to his throne and punishes Loki’s treachery by forcing him to serve the trolls for an indeterminate amount of time.

Final Thoughts: 
These stories were an inauspicious debut for the mighty Fire Demon, to say the least. “Tales of Asgard: Surtur the Fire Demon!” is simply a five-page introduction to the devilish entity; it tells us nothing of his motivation, his abilities, or his personality. All we know is that Surtur has randomly decided to rebel against Asgard and whips up the trolls to join him, a poor choice considering Odin’s power is the “only force in the universe that can shatter [their] unbreakable grip”. Thus, Surtur’s campaign was seemingly doomed before it even began, but certainly moot once Odin personally came to root his rebellion. As large and intimidating as Surtur is, Odin shows no fear and immediately humbles him with a meteor strike. Even Surtur’s incredible speed and the power he shows by birthing the Moon are nothing compared to Odin, who easily traps the Fire Demon within the Earth. On the plus side, “Tales of Asgard: Surtur the Fire Demon!” does reveal that the Norse deities birthed our Moon and the planet’s rotation. I’m not sure if this is reflected in Norse mythology, but it was an interesting wrinkle to show how intertwined Earth’s history is with Asgard, especially as Odin cares for the still-developing Earth as deeply as Thor would come to. Indeed, Odin is apparently thrilled by Loki’s suggestion that he visit Earth and even teleports the human race to safety before battling Skagg and Surtur. Ironically, Odin’s largely dismissive of humans on a personal level. He despairs of Thor’s love for Jane Foster, easily dispatched his would-be muggers, and thinks nothing of hypnotising Dr. Blake’s secretary into allowing him access to his son’s office. Although Odin throws himself into the fight against Skagg and Surtur, seemingly delighted to be on the battlefield once more and fighting alongside his sons, he’s left aggrieved and despondent by Thor’s choice to remain on Earth with Jane, worrying that Thor’s feelings for the mortal will spell doom for him in the long term.

Not the greatest first showing for Surtur, who’s a generic demon easily defeated by Odin’s magic.

Like many Thor stories around this time, Loki is behind the plot of “Giants Walk the Earth!” The scheming, mischievous God perfectly manipulates Odin’s feelings to acquire Asgard’s throne and immediately frees two of the Allfather’s most hated enemies, even feeding Skagg additional power from Asgard. Interestingly, despite having fought Thor and caused trouble before, Loki freely lives within Asgard and Odin even seeks his advice, which shows just how deep Loki’s machinations go as Thor is well aware of his half-brother’s untrustworthy nature. Skagg and Surtur make for an incredibly formidable duo…on paper, at least. As a storm giant, Skagg causes whirlwinds and destructive typhoons by focusing his power through his massive club, even when it’s shattered, his powers somewhat akin to Thor’s ability to conjure thunderstorms with Mjölnir. This immediately gives Thor the advantage against Skagg and he easily powers through the storm to stun the vengeful giant, who’s quickly and easily drained of his energy by Odin (who, I might add, also would’ve quickly subdued Skagg had Surtur not rescued him from sinking). Surtur is a prideful and spiteful demon in this second story, hesitating to rescue or work alongside Skagg as he wants the glory of destroying the Asgardians all for himself and immediately endangering the Earth with worldwide destruction as recompense for Odin’s actions. Surtur briefly proves his power by blasting Mjölnir with a firebolt and knocking Thor from the sky, but we don’t see him fight with his full power as he’s more concerned with melting the ice caps. Once again, Surtur’s greatest weakness is Odin’s all-powerful sword, which Thor can conveniently also wield and easily uses to send Surtur hurtling into another galaxy and magnetically bind him to an asteroid. Thus, “Giants Walk the Earth!” is more a tale of Loki’s scheming and Odin’s adventures with his sons than a showcase of how dangerous and terrifying Surtur can be. I still have no idea what his motivations are beyond revenge, what the extent of his power is, and didn’t get to see him in battle, making for a disappointingly throwaway first appearance for Thor’s demonic adversary.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Surtur’s first appearances in Journey into Mystery? Were you also disappointed that we didn’t learn or see much of him? Did you enjoy seeing Odin team up with Thor and Balder? What are some of your favourite Surtur moments from the comics and beyond? Do you have a favourite character, story, or era in Thor’s publication history? How are you celebrating Thor’s debut this month? Share your thoughts on Surtur and Thor in the comments, check out my other Thor content across the site, and donate to my Ko-Fi to see more!

Wrestling Recap: Triple H vs. HBK (SummerSlam ’02)

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The Date: 25 August 2002
The Venue: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum; Uniondale, New York
The Stakes: Non-sanctioned grudge match

The Commentary: Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler
The Referee: Earl Hebner
Dave Meltzer’s Rating: 4.25

The Build-Up:
In 1998, noted wild child “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels suffered a horrendous back injury that forced him into early retirement. HBK transitioned into part-time roles before making a remarkable return to World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) in 2002. At this time, the WWE’s roster was split into two brands and HBK tried to convince his old D-Generation X running buddy “The Game” Triple H to join him on Raw. Although Triple H seemed to go along with this, he quickly turned on HBK to prove that he had long surpassed his friend.

The Match:
Considering how long Shawn Michaels was away from the ring, and how unprecedented his comeback was, it was only fitting that he got a thunderous ovation and exploding confetti during his entrance, which saw J.R. rundown HBK’s accomplishments to hype his in-ring return. Since this was an “unsanctioned” match, Shawn competing in street clothes, though “The Game” stuck to his ring gear and the match still had a referee, which somewhat contradicted the “street fight” feel of the very personal confrontation between the two. Shawn launched a pre-emptive attack, tackling Triple H to the canvas for a pummelling. Shawn showed he still had his patented quickness and agility by leapfrogging the Game and tossing him outside and flying with a crossbody plancha splash. Shawn then doubled down by bashing Triple H’s head off a ring post and flooring him with a clothesline before grabbing a trash can and lid from under the ring. A knee to the gut and a slam into the barricade kept HBK from using his weapons, though he stunned the Game with a shot with the lid and impressively flipped back into the ring to deck Triple H again. Although Shawn nailed a diving axehandle, Triple H avoided Sweet Chin Music and turned the tide with a backbreaker, determined to cripple his former friend by targeting HBK’s notoriously injured lower back with repeated backbreakers and some high-powered whips into the corners.

Despite his fire, Shawn’s back quickly became a target for the sadistic Triple H.

The Game mocked HBK with a crotch chop and continued to target his lower back with elbow drops and stomps, though Shawn kicked out of the subsequent pin. Sadistic to the end, Triple H used a steel chair to further damage HBK’s spine and earn himself another two count. Shawn valiantly fought back and reversed a suplex for a near fall but got shut down with Triple H’s signature facebuster knee smash. A DDT to the steel chair got Triple H another two count and split HBK’s forehead open; Triple H then whipped Shawn’s back with his own leather belt! The Game then (eventually…) grabbed his trusty sledgehammer, leading HBK to frantically fight back and end up in an abdominal stretch. Oddly, the referee fought with Triple H when the Game used the ropes for leverage, leading to an argument between the two that gave Shawn the chance to mount a comeback. Triple H tried to stop this with a superplex but had to settle for shoving Hebner into the ropes and causing Shawn to drop crotch-first to the top rope when HBK fought back. Triple H then took advantage of Shawn’s helplessness by smashing the steel chair across his back and hitting a backbreaker across that same chair. When Shawn refused to be pinned, the enraged Triple H hit a sidewalk slam onto the mangled chair but was still unable to keep the former degenerate down. Frustrated, the Game attempted to hit the Pedigree onto the Showstopper, only for Shawn to counter with a low blow and muster the strength for a desperation Sweet Chin Music that sent the steel chair into Triple H’s face and busted him open.

While HBK impressed and got the victory, he was left a half-crippled mess by Triple H.

Motivated by this, HBK laid in some shots, hit his flying forearm, and amazed the crowd by kipping up and blasting Triple H with a chair shot. Shawn then sent the Game flying outside and got some payback by whipping Triple H with his belt and a couple of trash can lid shots  around the announce tables. HBK followed up with a running bulldog to the steel steps before grabbing a ladder from under the ring and smashing it into Triple H’s face and ribs. Shawn countered Triple H’s whip into the ladder and catapulted the Game into it for a near fall, leading Triple H to hit the ladder into Shawn with a baseball slide. When Triple H uncharacteristically went to the top rope, Shawn intercepted him with a superplex for a two count, got another near fall off a roll up, and kicked out when Triple H hit a high knee strike. Although Triple H tried to use the steel steps, Shawn countered with a drop toehold to deliver that fate to his former friend and then scrambled to set up a table on the outside. HBK cracked Triple H with a fire extinguisher to leave him prone for a diving splash off the top to the outside and through the table! When the two struggled back into the ring, Shawn hit his diving elbow from the ladder and, energised by the crowd support, tuned up for Sweet Chin Music. Though Triple H caught his foot and tried for a Pedigree, HBK upset the Game with a roll up and scored the win. However, Triple H launched a vicious attack with the sledgehammer as Shawn celebrated, leaving HBK lying half-dead after this impressive showcase of two of the all-time greats.

The Aftermath:
Although Shawn Michaels impressed in his in-ring return, this SummerSlam match was originally believed to be a one-off bout for the Showstopper. However, Shawn’s condition and confidence were only proven and bolstered by his efforts and he officially returned to full-time competition in October 2003, emerging from a coffin to attack Triple H during his “Reign of Terror” with the World Heavyweight Championship. The blood feud between the former degenerates saw HBK dethrone Triple H in the first-ever Elimination Chamber match, though he dropped the belt back to the Game the next month. When Shawn was eliminated from the 2003 Royal Rumble by Chris Jericho, HBK became side-tracked feuding with the bitter Jericho before returning to opposing Triple H and his dominating Evolution faction, even interjecting himself into 2004 Royal Rumble winner Chris Benoit’s challenge to the Game at WrestleMania XX.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Were you impressed by HBK’s unexpected return and performance at SummerSlam 2002? Did you think Shawn would win considering how long he’d been gone? Were you into HBK’s big comeback or do you think he was better off retired? Which of his matches against Triple H was your favourite? Leave on this review and share your thoughts down below, then donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other SummerSlam matches you’d like me to cover.

Back Issues [Spider-Man Day]: The Amazing Spider-Man #2

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Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable superhero, unsuspecting teenager Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider in August 1962. To coincide with his day of celebration, I’m dedicating some time to everyone’s favourite web-head!

Story Titles: “Duel to the Death with the Vulture!”
“The Uncanny Threat of the Terrible Tinkerer!”

Published: 12 February 1963 (cover-dated: May 1963)
Writer: Stan Lee – Artist: Steve Ditko

Quick Facts:
Disregarding the 1963 villain of the same name, Adrian Toomes/The Vulture joined Spider-Man’s colourful rogues’ gallery in this issue. Redesigned by Steve Ditko, the Vulture’s been a persistent threat despite being one of Spidey’s less intimidating foes. Phineas Mason/The Tinkerer also debuted in this issue as an aged super genius who was later suspected to be an alien! Both characters appeared in Spider-Man: Homecoming (Watts, 2017), with Michael Keaton making as lasting impression as a far more intimidating and sympathetic incarnation of the Vulture.

The Review:
When “Duel to the Death with the Vulture!” begins, the titular avian crook has been terrorising New York City for days, swooping on unsuspecting yuppies and swiping their valuables, amazing onlookers as he appears to be a gigantic bird rather than a man. Cantankerous editor J. Jonah Jameson hears about the Vulture and sees dollar signs, demanding the next issue of Now Magazine be devoted to the bizarre thief and be accompanied be a decent picture. Hearing of this, Peter first hits upon the idea of taking pictures of supervillains (and his wall-crawling alter ego) to earn some extra cash and is delighted when his doting Aunt May gifts him his Uncle Ben’s old miniature camera. Spider-Man doesn’t have to wait long to get his first chance at snapping pictures of the Vulture as Toomes hears of a consignment of diamonds being moved across town, meaning he soon flies past the young adventurer. Deciding to toy with the public and the police, the Vulture delivers cryptic messages to the media and the cops to have them puzzle out how his wings work and how he plans to pull off the heist and even reacts in a microsecond when Spidey positions himself for a shot. Taken by surprise, Spidey’s easily knocked out with a single kick and dumped into a water tower, where the panicked youth leaps to safety when his web shooters inconveniently run dry. Learning from this, Peter cobbles together an all-purpose belt to carry extra web cartridges and house his camera while his pictures develop, which impress Jonah and sees him promise to pay Peter for photos of Spider-Man (though Peter refuses credi for his shots).

Though initially bested by the Vulture, Spidey sciences his way past the devious old coot.

While everyone gathers to watch the diamonds be moved, and wonders how the Vulture plans to steal them, Peter quietly switches to Spider-Man while the Vulture acts on his threats by attacking not from above…but below! Toomes pops from a manhole, steals the diamonds, and escapes to the skies via the subway, with Spider-Man in hot pursuit. Despite his superhuman speed and uncanny spider-sense, the Vulture easily loops around Spidey and knocks him from a rooftop, only to have his ankle snapped by the wall-crawler’s web. Spidey then activates a miniature “anti-magnetic inverter” device he whipped up after noticing how quiet the Vulture’s flight was and surmising that he flies via magnetic power. This disrupts the Vulture’s wings and causing them to plummet from the sky, allowing Spidey to swing to safety and Toomes to slowly crash to a nearby rooftop for the cops to pick up. Spider-Man snaps some pictures and again amazes the cigar-chomping Jameson, making both characters happy as Jameson gets his exclusive and Peter gets a wad of cash to help pay the bills and treat his Aunt May. As for the Vulture? Well, he’s left to stew in a prison cell, swearing to develop a better means of flight to get revenge on Spider-Man. “The Uncanny Threat of the Terrible Tinkerer!” sees Peter in his element, the science laboratory at Midtown High, much to the amusement of his disinterested and mean-spirited classmates, Elizabeth “Liz” Allen and Eugene “Flash” Thompson. Flash mocks Peter when he’s offered the chance to work with the famed Professor Cobbwell over the weekend, gladly heading to the Tinkerer Repair Shop to pick up some extra equipment for the famous electronics expert. Although unnerved by the miserly old Tinkerer and the strange feeling that something’s not right there, Peter chalks it up to paranoia, completely unaware that the aged Tinkerer is working with a bizarre, bug-like alien in his basement! Unbeknownst to Dr. Cobbwell, the alien makes some “special” modifications to his radio for the low cost of a dime, amazing Peter so much that he’s still thinking about it while working in Dr. Cobbwell’s lab.

Spider-Man’s amazed to find the Tinkerer aiding with an alien invasion!

Realising that the professor’s radio is emitting the same odd electrical impulses he sensed at the Tinkerer’s, Peter investigates swings back to investigate. Inside, he follows his spider-sense to the basement and discovers that the seemingly innocent old man working alongside aliens, using similar radio transmitters to gauge the strengths and weaknesses of the planet before launching a full-scale attack! When he’s discovered, Spider-Man amazes the aliens with his amazing wall-crawling, agility, and super strength, easily throwing off multiple attackers, though he’s downed by a shot from the Tinkerer’s laser blaster. Trapped inside an unbreakable “restisto-glass” enclosure, Spider-Man faces a quick (and possibly painful) death by poisonous gas. Thanks to his ridiculously diverse web-shooters, Spider-Man fires a super-thin strand of webbing through a tiny air hole in the enclosure, snagging the control panel and setting himself free. A single punch from Spider-Man sends the aliens crashing against said console, causing it to overload and burst into flames and making them scatter without the Tinkerer. Spider-Man tackles the traitorous old man and tries to haul him from the burning building, only for the aged conspirator to squirm free from the web-slinger’s grasp and forcing Spider-Man to flee before he’s choked or burned to death. When spotted fleeing the burning building, Spider-Man’s naturally blamed for the blaze, though the entire experience is enough for the aliens to remotely destroy their surveillance equipment and flee the Earth, vowing never to return. Peter returns to Dr. Cobbwell’s lab, satisfied that the radio is harmless, and listens attentively as the excited professor shares that he spotted a spaceship flying into the atmosphere, before convincing himself that he imagined the whole thing. While he struggles with what he saw, Peter ponders the lifelike mask he pulled from the Tinkerer’s face, equally baffled by the entire adventure (and rightfully so!)

Final Thoughts: 
I’ve never been a big fan of the Vulture, and his first appearance did little to change that opinion. Unlike some of Spider-Man’s other colourful villains, who at least get a little backstory in their debut stories if not a half-assed origin, we never even learn the Vulture’s identity, much less how he invented his bird-themed suit or magnetically powered wings. Ironically, the Vulture flies around with his face completely exposed yet nobody recognises him (though, to be fair, he’s said to be moving very swiftly and no one’s gotten a clear shot at him). Still, there’s very little going for the Vulture beyond his ability to fly as deftly as his namesake. The Vulture is just a colourful, outlandish crook who steals from the rich for his own benefit. We don’t know what he’s doing with the money except hording it and learn only that the Vulture feels so empowered by his flight suit that he decides to taunt the cops like he’s Edward Nygma/The Riddler! The Vulture does this simply for the thrill and to outsmart everyone around him, delighting in outmanoeuvring Spider-Man and even besting the web-slinger with ludicrous ease! Of course, the Vulture’s arrogance proves his undoing as science whiz Peter correctly guesses that Toomes is using magnetic power to fly and easily disrupts his wings, making the Vulture’s first appearance wholly unsatisfying as even his crazy gimmick isn’t all that impressive.

Despite some impressive or fantastical gimmicks, neither elderly villain makes a great first impression.

Still, the Vulture’s story is almost ground-breaking compared to the Tinkerer’s weird-ass debut! I can’t be sure but I’m almost certain this is the first time Spider-Man has ever encountered or dealt with aliens and it’s as jarring as you might think! I have no idea who or what these aliens are, where they come from, or what their capabilities are beyond being advanced enough to mess about with radios to gather intel ahead of their invasion. It’s heavily implied that the Tinkerer is one of their kind in disguise, though this is largely left ambiguous. Still, he’s certainly in league with them, providing them more radios to set up as surveillance devices. The alien plot is so out of left field it’s almost comical and the way the story just casually breezes past it is laughable, with both Peter and Dr. Cobbwell wondering if they imagined the whole thing. This is certainly a case where these pages would’ve been better served extending the Vulture’s tale. The Tinkerer could’ve easily been looped into the story, working alongside Toomes as an armourer and engineer who designed and maintained his flight suit. This would’ve been far more enjoyable than randomly sticking aliens in there and asking us to accept it and would’ve better positioned as a lackey rather than some alien mastermind. I did like seeing Peter first getting the idea to take pictures for J. Jonah Jameson to profit from his alter ego, and him fashioning his utility belt and using science to defeat the Vulture, but these stories were pretty dire, even for such low-tier Spider-Man villains.  

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy the debut of the Vulture and the Tinkerer? Are you a fan of either villain and, if so, what are some of your favourite moments and stories of theirs? Do you think the aliens were an odd choice for Spider-Man or did you like how crazy they were? Were you surprised to see the Vulture get the drop on Spidey so easily? How are you celebrating the web-slinger today? Drop your thoughts on the Vulture and the Tinkerer in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Spider-Man content.