Dr. K

Back Issues: Guardians of the Galaxy (2008) #1-3

19/05/202312/05/2023Dr. K6 Comments

**Writers:** Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning – **Artist:** Paul Pelletier

Story Title: “Somebody’s Got To Do It”
Published: 14 May 2008 (cover-dated July 2008)

Story Title: “Legacy”
Published: 18 June 2008 (cover-dated August 2008)

Story Title: “Beyond Belief”
Published: 10 July 2008 (cover-dated September 2008)

The Background:
Today, Marvel Comics’ Guardians of the Galaxy are well-known as a group of reprobates-turned-heroes thanks to their inclusion in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), however I think it’s fair to say that the team (and the concept) was relatively obscure compared to other Marvel heavy-hitters like the Avengers and Peter Parker/Spider-Man before the release of Guardians of the Galaxy (Gunn, 2014). As I have already explored, the cosmic team was initially very different when they debuted in the pages of Marvel Super Heroes! #18 (Drake, et al, 1969) and, despite strong sales of the team’s debut issue, the Guardians of the Galaxy remained dormant for about five years and also underwent many alterations as they graduated to their own self-titled series. Between 2006 and 2007, Marvel Comics published a cosmic crossover series titled Annihilation (Giffen, et al), a sprawling storyline in which Annihilus spread destruction throughout the galaxy with his “Annihilation Wave”, an event heralded for proving such epics could occur without Marvel’s flagship characters at the helm. From August 2007 and June 2008, Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning spearheaded a follow-up miniseries, Annihilation: Conquest, out of which was formed a new line-up of Guardians that served as direct inspiration for the MCU’s movies and subsequent multimedia iterations of the team.

The Review:
In place of the usual text boxes, the story is intercut with log debriefings from the Guardians as they reflect on their mission, and therefore jumps about between a few different time periods, which makes a step-by-step recap a little difficult so, instead, I’ll try and go mostly in chronological order. Two weeks ago, Star-Lord, Phyla-Vell/Quasar, and the last surviving member of the Nova Corps, Richard Rider/Nova, were discussing the power vacuum in the galaxy after back-to-back destructive conflicts with Annihilus and the Phalanx. Both battles caught them completely off-guard so, rather than establish a peacekeeping force like the Nova Corps, Star-Lord suggests assembling an “ass-kicking force” that can pre-emptively tackle threats before they can escalate. The first person Star-Lord recruits is Rocket Raccoon, primarily for his “military smarts” and also because he’s “the best tactical mind [he] ever met”. Although Star-Lord tries to grease the wheels by tanking Rocket up with alcohol, he didn’t need to do this, or pile on the compliments; recognising the guilt Star-Lord carries after unwittingly causing the Phalanx’s invasion, Rocket agrees to help but only if Peter quits giving himself a hard time over it, especially as they won the day in the end. Quasar then paid a visit to the grieving Drax the Destroyer whose daughter, Heather Douglas/Moondragon, perished in a previous battle against Ultron. Filled with regret over never having a “regular” relationship with her and having lost his purpose now that he has slain Thanos, Drax considers himself a liability to others because of his thirst for death, but Quasar offers him purpose and direction as part of Star-Lord’s team. Nova then went to recruit Gamora, who was incensed at the suggestion, and that Nova never tried to get her into bed following their victory over the Phalanx. However, despite her stubbornness, Gamora is won over not just by the prospect of a booty call with Rider but also by his compelling argument that she’s tired of being an emotionless killer and desires something more out of life. Together, the group turn to Adam Warlock/Him for further support; troubled by the recent incursions, which have weakened space and time so badly that fissures into extradimensional universes are threatening to spill God knows what into the galaxy and tear it apart, Warlock agrees to join them in order to ensure the stability and continuation of life across our universe.

*The fledgling Guardians come together to defend the galaxy from interdimensional incursions.*

The fledgling Guardians soon came into a violent conflict with the Universal Church of Truth, a group of zealots who, in an alternate timeline, worshiped Warlock like a God. There were some teething problems throughout this battle; Star-Lord struggled to pull these volatile egos together, leading to Warlock, Gamora, and Drax heading to the control deck to tackle the root of the problem. The Church’s templeship is powered by “faith”, specifically faith in life (which Warlock notes is ironic as the Church’s plan will destroy life rather than grant it) and, once they realise their sacred ship is in danger, the Church’s founders, the Crusaders, promptly teleport away, leaving their devout followers behind, much to the disgust of Warlock, Gamora, and Drax. By the time the others reach the control deck, their options are limited as the templeship is already breaching a fissure; to make matters worse, a gigantic, disgusting eldritch abomination comes through the breach. However, Quasar and the others are able to hold it back to buy Rocket time to destroy the control deck with a grenade; the remaining energy is absorbed by Warlock and Quasar and the threat is summarily ended. They promptly teleport victorious (though Rocket claims the bulk of the victory for himself) to Knowhere, an interdimensional crossroads on the outer edge of time-space that allows them to rapidly transport anywhere using their “passport” bracelets and which happens to be housed inside the severed head of a Celestial! Knowhere is maintained by a group of strange alien lifeforms and overseen by Cosmo the Spacedog, a telekinetic Russian-born hound who has a rivalry with Rocket, acts as their chief of security, and has been busy getting Knowhere up and running for their services. Knowhere is also home to a thriving alien society, including a marketplace and economic system, and to the steadily growing sapling that was once Groot and Brandt/Mantis, an empath who has the unenviable job of maintaining the psychological well-being of the team and facilitating their disparate personalities. However, her precognitive abilities also alert her to an impending betrayal from within, though she’s unable to inform them of this as it could threaten the delicate balance of the timeline. No sooner are the Guardians back at Knowhere that Warlock detects another fissure on the ice asteroid of 5G Hydronis, a place where time and space are being torn apart and where, upon melting away some of the ice, the Guardians are stunned to find the Avengers Mansion contained within!

*As the team struggles against the Cardinals, the time-displaced Vance fights off a mysterious attacker.*

Before they can properly process the implications of this, they’re attacked by more Lovecraftian beasts, this time giant, slobbering worms that burst up from the ice and ensnare them. Luckily, Major Vance Astro/Major Victory of the original Guardians of the Galaxy happened to be frozen on the planetoid and briefly helps the struggling team before promptly collapsing in a fit of confusion and exhaustion. Star-Lord and Rocket hold off the creatures to cover Drax and Gamora as they tend to Vance, then the group promptly teleports out of there as Warlock and Quasar destroy the asteroid and its monstrous inhabitants. Star-Lord sees providence in Vance’s appearance, especially the symbolism of the shield he carries and the importance both it and Captain Steve Rogers/Captain America had on the legacy of the Avengers. Still encased in his protective suit and apparently dislodged from the time stream, Vance suffers from crippling amnesia and can only remember some vague importance about being at exactly this time period. Mantis tends to Vance to try and acclimatise him to the time period and help him recover his lost memories; though Rocket, inspired by Vance’s story, is more concerned with pestering the team into adopting the Guardians of the Galaxy name. After picking up another fissure, the team head to a seemingly abandoned Dyson Sphere – a literal sun encased within an artificial shell – where they are attacked by Raker and his knightly Cardinals. Sent by the Matriarch of the Church to seek retribution and garbed in gleaming golden armour, the Cardinals are powered by the prayers of their faithful, proving a formidable threat since they are capable of doing anything as long as they believe it, including conjuring weapons and shields of golden energy. Offended by Warlock’s magic and with no time for the team’s heathenistic explanations, the Cardinals make short work of the group simply by believing they have the means to overpower them, meaning they not only break Star-Lord’s hand but also run the mighty Adam Warlock through with a sword. As the Guardians struggle against the self-righteous Cardinals, Vance is suddenly attacked by the time-displaced Stakar of the House of Ogord/Starhawk, who takes even Mantis off-guard thanks to being completely invisible to her mental powers. Starhawk attacks the confused Vance with very familiar claw-like appendages and their battle rages through Knowhere, destroying six of their teleportation batteries, before he teleports out without a single word and leaving the perplexed Vance to incur the wrath of Cosmo for all the damage he caused in the fight.

*Gamora’s selfless actions galvanise the team, but the threat of betrayal hangs in the air…*

Having accomplished their mission, the Cardinals return to their homeworld; however, many are also dissolved when the Dyson Sphere’s population rises against them; reduced to a corrosive bio-mass after their genetic experiments opened a fissure in their very DNA, the inhabitants have become a tortured, grotesque hive mind. Already beyond salvation, absorbing the Cardinals only accelerates their instability and threatens to open a more destructive fissure. As Gamora tends to Star-Lord’s wounds, he shares with the group his plan to lift the shield that protects the surface from the sun’s rays, a strategy that will fry the entire Dyson Sphere and its out of control inhabitants in one swift move. The idea works and the bio-mass is summarily set ablaze, but Peter’s plan to teleport to safety is scuppered thanks to the damage caused by Vance and Starhawk. With the protective dome fading quickly, Drax and Star-Lord both volunteer to restore it; unfortunately, Quasar’s power is taxed to the limited just trying to keep them safe, so Gamora opts to handle it herself. Thanks to her healing factor, and the limited protection offered by Quasar, Gamora is able to reach the controls and restore the dome and, though she survives the ordeal, she’s left chargrilled and mutilated by the heat of the supernova. Still, her teammates are impressed by her bravery and her actions galvanise the team yet, despite their victory, Warlock remains disturbed not just by the fact that He was unable to save that advanced civilisation but also by the motives behind the Universal Church of Truth’s attack. An epilogue reveals that the Matriarch sent Raker to engage the Guardians not to “purify” them for their interference in their plans, but to verify that Warlock is actually the real deal as it’s revealed she has His protective cocoon resting in her palace, indicating the presence of an imposter.

The Summary:
The story’s action is peppered with log entries from the individual Guardians that offers insight into their character and commentary on their actions; Star-Lord is cautiously optimistic about his new team despite their inelegant solutions to problems, Quasar had her doubts that the mismatched team of egos could pull it together despite Star-Lord’s determination, Rocket expressed regret at being talked into joining such an outfit and venturing into the dangerous depths of space, Warlock has His doubts but recognises the value of the Guardians given the short lifespan of the cosmos, and Drax bluntly refuses to elaborate on his many experiences with death. Gamora is easily the most vocal about her scepticism; almost every line she has questions their purpose and direction, to the point where even Drax, who was equally sceptical about his value to such a group, calls her out on her lack of team spirit when she boasts of her healing factor to the less-fortunate Quasar. This makes her selfless act to endure the searing heat of the sun’s flames all the more impressive and goes to great lengths to earn her the respect and admiration from her teammates. One of the things I loved about the MCU interpretation of the Guardians of the Galaxy is their dysfunctional dynamic; they banter with and aggravate each other, to the point where they generally spend more time arguing than co-operating, which lends to their charm. Those aspects are alive and well here; in the heat of battle, the team are more focused on coming up with a name for themselves than fending off their enemies; Warlock, who’s had some experience in leading teams, is the first one to point this out and even Star-Lord, for all his enthusiasm, begins to question his decisions when their distractions send him hurtling out of a window.

*The banter snark, and dysfunctional family dynamic are all appealing elements to this team.*

There’s some concern, mostly from Gamora, regarding Warlock’s nature; His talk of altering the timeline and general demeanour have Gamora questioning how much He’s changed since she last saw Him. It’s clear that Warlock has changed recently and knows far more than what He’s letting on to His teammates; His philosophy seems to be to simply tackle an issue before it can escalate and explain the why of the matter later since it’s inconsequential against the need for action. As much as I love Dave Bautista’s portrayal of Drax as this loveable meathead, this version of Drax is far more coherent and sensible, though he is a bit of a blunt instrument; he’s aggravated by Warlock’s complex explanations, Quasar’s constant questions, and sees little point in cooking when they have perfectly good bars at Knowhere. While the others are intrigued by the puzzle of Vance Astro, Drax couldn’t care less about the former Avenger, not least because fighting alongside Earth’s Mightiest Heroes directly led to his daughter’s death. Indeed, as much as the Destroyer would rather just get to the point (and the fighting), Drax is just as apt to make quips about Warlock’s out of date hairstyle as Rocket, resulting in a more well-rounded character than his MCU counterpart, for sure, but one far less entertaining, in my opinion. Rocket’s characterisation should be pretty familiar with fans of the MCU, however; he’s a trigger-happy, snarky little rodent who cares for Groot and begrudgingly follows Star-Lord’s lead presumably because he has nothing better to do. Star-Lord may lack the multiple pop culture references of his MCU counterpart but much of his character is familiar as well; this is actually a very different version of the character to how he was first introduced, where he was a little more bland and less prone to self-deprecation and quipping. Here, he’s desperately trying to atone for his actions in unleashing the Phalanx and is determined to make this team work, despite how inelegant their approach is. Though unsettled by the symmetry of Vance’s appearance to Captain America’s own dethawing years ago, Peter is excited at the idea of the group rallying around the iconography of the shield, though he remains completely unaware of a possible traitor in their midst since Mantis refuses to divulge this information just yet.

*These new Guardians impress thanks to some fun dialogue, visually exciting action, and lingering mysteries.*

It’s nice to read something a little more modern from Marvel Comics; there’s something to be said for the simplicity of older tales, which are generally far less complex in their narratives and easier to digest in a single readthrough, but the dialogue and, especially, the art are far more appealing in modern tales, at least to me. While they share a colour scheme in their vaguely-matching uniforms, the Guardians are all very distinct personalities and characters despite their similarities: for example, Star-Lord and Rocket have no powers, relying on their helmet, weapons, and gadgets to win the day but are clearly unique since one is a talking raccoon! Gamora and Drax are also somewhat similar, being battle-hungry killers looking for a greater purpose, but Gamora has her healing factor, cynicism, and promiscuousness and Drax carries his guilt and an almost self-destructive thirst for combat. Quasar and Warlock also have some similarities in that they’re both, essentially, cosmic wizards but Quasar’s powers are limited in a way Warlock’s aren’t; Warlock is also seen as the expert in the time/space fissures and clearly the heavy-hitter of the group, yet He’s still vulnerable and requires the aid of His teammates to combat these threats. I liked the appearance of Vance Astro, too, as a link to the original Guardians of the Galaxy and a mystery for the team to solve over subsequent issues; Knowhere also functions as a very visually interesting and fun homebase for the team, not least because of Cosmo and it being the head of a Celestial, and the story arc was brimming with personality and mystery. The Universal Church of Truth are very intriguing villains; essentially a gaggle of cosmic zealots who wield incredible power simply through faith, they betray their own cause through their destructive ways and have spread death and discord rather than life and hope. The Cardinals, especially, prove a fearsome threat; there’s a suggestion that they could’ve easily killed the Guardians were it not for the bio-mass suddenly attacking them and the nature of their mission, which again adds to the appeal of the team: they’re already flawed and volatile personalities but they’re not infallible and even the almighty Adam Warlock can be killed, which makes them very relatable as a dysfunctional family that’s more human that their appearances may suggest. All in all, I really enjoyed this three-issue arc for the fledgling Guardians of the Galaxy and would absolutely want to read more from this run based on the strength of these issues alone and how impactful this period was to their live-action interpretation.

My Rating:

Great Stuff

What did you think to this new incarnation of the Guardians of the Galaxy? Which member of the team was your favourite? What did you think to Universal Church of Truth and the threat posed by the Cardinals? Did you enjoy the banter and team dynamic between the group? What did you think to the mystery surrounding Vance Astro’s appearance? Which version of the team is your favourite and why? Are you a fan of the Guardians of the Galaxy comics and, if so, did you like the MCU’s interpretations of the characters and concepts? Be sure to share your thoughts on the Guardians of the Galaxy in the comments below and on my social media, and check out my other Guardians of the Galaxy-related content on the site.

Game Corner [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT: Turtles in Time (Xbox Series X)

16/05/202320/05/2025Dr. K9 Comments

The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. This year, I’m emphasising third entries and time travel shenanigans in the popular franchise every Tuesday in May!

Released: 30 August 2022
Originally Released: March 1991 (Arcade) / 24 July 1992 (SNES)
Developer: Digital Eclipse
Original Developer: Konami
Also Available For: Arcade, GameCube, Nintendo Switch, PC, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES), Xbox, Xbox 360, Xbox One, and Xbox Series S

The Background:
Back in the late-eighties and early-nineties, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (or Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles for us Brits) took the lives of children everywhere by storm. Before Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers (1993 to 1996) and Pokémon (1997 to present) dominated playgrounds, Christmases, and birthdays alike, kids were transfixed by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987 to 1996) animated series. A toned down version of the original, far darker Mirage Comics publications, the “Heroes in a Half-Shell” were so popular that they spawned not just a series of live-action movies (of varying quality), but also additional comic book spin-offs, a beloved line of action figures, and a whole host of videogames. It was Konami’s efforts with the original TMNT arcade game that laid the foundation for some of the franchise’s most influential gaming ventures and the developers sought to expand upon those efforts with this equally beloved sequel. Bigger, better, and longer than its predecessor, much of Turtles in Time’s impact can be attributed to the surprisingly faithful home console port that wowed SNES gamers back in the day, and the game was so memorable that it received an unfairly lambasted 2.5D remake in 2009. Though ports of Turtles in Time have been sporadically available, its remake was de-listed from digital stores for the better part of eleven years, meaning Turtles in Time was (ironically) lost to time until it was included in this Cowabunga Collection for modern consoles alongside a host of other games and quality of life features. As both the arcade and SNES versions are included in this collection, and the differences between the two don’t really warrant two separate reviews, I’ll be including both versions in this review.

The Plot:
The Turtles leap into action when Krang steals the Statue of Liberty, only to be sent hurtling through time courtesy of a time warp activated by their archnemesis, Oroku Saki/The Shredder, forcing them to fight Shredder’s army in both the past and the future in order to get home.

Gameplay:
Like its predecessor, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time is a sidescrolling beat-‘em-up that supports up to four players; supposedly, two-player arcade cabinets were released and the arcade version never made it over to Japan, but this version of the game allows both on- and offline co-operative play, though the SNES version of the game is limited to two player simultaneous co-op. As ever, players can select from one of the four Ninja Turtles who all control exactly the same but play slightly differently depending on the reach of their weapons (putting Raphael at a disadvantage). Gameplay is limited to two primary buttons, with X allowing you to attack and string together basic combos and B letting you jump; you can press X in mid-air for a flying attack and press X and B together to perform a power attack that doesn’t seem to drain your health meter. Once again, you have no dash options or dashing attack, but you can now slam and hurl enemies about by hitting X when up close to them and you can pull off a “back attack” to fend off enemies attacking from behind.

*Despite a dip in graphics, the SNES version holds up surprisingly well to its arcade counterpart.*

Turtles in Time is much bigger and longer than the last game, sporting nine levels to play through, each of which being far livelier and with more opportunities to interact with the environment. You can hit traffic cones, hydrants, explosive barrels, and boxes of fireworks to take out enemies but, even better, onscreen hazards like wrecking balls can also damage enemies. Hazards like these are far more plentiful this time around, including loose floorboards, mines, and electrical bolts from turrets and Krang’s massive exosuit so it pays to keep your wits about you and not just charge blindly ahead. Gameplay is mixed up a bit with two levels dedicated to fast-paced, autoscrolling action, first on a hoverboard in Sewer Surfin’ and then on a floating disk in Neon Night Riders; your combat options remain the same here, but some enemies are a little harder to hit as they’re floating above you and you’ll need quick reflexes to dodge hazards like the spiked gates and mines. The SNES version offers not only an additional score bonus for these stages but even includes an extra level, complete with a traditional elevator gauntlet.

Graphics and Sound:
Visually, the game is very similar to its predecessor; I’m pretty sure the sprites are all exactly the same, bar maybe a few additional animations and enemy variants, but they’re just as colourful and full of life as before. Every character pops against the background, has some limited idle animation, and the likes of Splinter and April O’Neil (depending on which version you’re playing) will appear to hurry you along if you dawdle. Voice clips are used to great effect, especially in the arcade release, with the Turtles shrieking, “My toes! My noes!” when hurt by spikes and ending every stage with a triumphant cry of “Cowabunga!” alongside a victory animation. Voice samples are far sparser and more dulled in the SNES version, naturally, which relies more on subtitles and its own sound effects, but both games still perfectly capture the quirky and slapstick nature of the cartoon. The SNES version also presents a different version of the Neon Night Riders stage, with the action taking place from behind the characters and the stage tweaked to make use of the console’s “Mode 7” features.

*The game is noticeably bigger than before, with the SNES version even boasting new features.*

Environments are far more varied this time around; thanks to the time travel plot, the TMNT don’t just fight through the streets and sewers of New York City but are also transported back to a prehistoric jungle (complete with shimmering heat effects from the lava and a cave full of falling stalactites), a pirate ship full of loose planks, a speeding train in the Old West, and the neon streets of the far-flung future! Levels are noticeably longer and with more enemies, with no visible slowdown, though the SNES version is automatically slower since you can’t activate a “Turbo Mode” to speed things up. The SNES version of the game does add a whole new Technodrome level, however, and swaps some bosses around, even replacing one entirely with one of my favourite villains from the series. Both versions of the game use big, colourful art to tell their story, with the SNES version offering different endings depending on the difficulty setting you played on. Finally, while the SNES version features some popping tunes and a decent rendition of the TMNT theme song, the arcade version impresses with its funky, adrenaline-pumping soundtrack and even boasts a rendition of “Pizza Power” for its introduction sequence.

Enemies and Bosses:
As is tradition for a TMNT videogame, you’ll primarily be fighting your way through hordes of robotic Foot Soldiers; these come in all different colours and variants, from the regular, easily dispatched purple ones to weapon-wielding goons garbed in red, silver, or yellow. These guys will toss shuriken at you, stab at you with spears and swords, toss giant bombs, or swing axes; they also come flying in on dinosaurs, charge at you on fire-breathing Velociraptors, and pilot flying machines. Robots also return as notable enemies, with one wildly swinging its boxing gloves at you, though you’ll only encounter Mousers in the SNES version of the game. There are some new enemies in Turtles in Time, too, including the Xenomorph-like Pizza Monsters and the Rock Soldiers, who charge at you and wield high-powered weapons of their own.

*Bosses are more visually varied, especially in the SNES version.*

Also, as is to be expected, some of the TMNT’s most recognisable foes return to dog you as end of level bosses. The first you’ll encounter is Baxter Stockman, now mutated into his human fly form; Baxter hovers overhead firing at you with a machine gun, only to switch to sending out plasma fists after you’ve damaged him enough. At the end of Alleycat Blues, you’ll battle Metalhead, who attacks from a distance with his extendable arms and legs and flies at you courtesy of a rocket-powered kick, though he has a tendency to stop and gloat and leave himself open to a counterattack. Sewer Surfin’ doesn’t feature a boss in the arcade version, instead forcing you to fend of a swarm of Pizza Monsters, but you’ll take on the Rat King in the SNES version, which is much more interesting and exciting as he’s in his little hovercraft and fires missiles and mines at you. Similarly, you face the underwhelming Cement Man in the arcade version of the Prehistoric Turtlesaurus level, with the mud-like goon sliming about the place and trapping you in mud, but the SNES version replaces him with Slash! This deranged doppelgänger is far more formidable, slashing at you with his jagged blade and spinning about the place as a whirling shell of bladed fury, making him a far worthier adversary.

*Boss battles feature different phases and more formidable attack patterns this time.*

After battling across the deck of a pirate ship, you’ll face both Tokka and Rahzar; while they simple charge, swipe, and hop about in the arcade version, they’re much more formidable in the SNES version, where they appear in the new Technodrome stage and sport flame and freezing breath and act as sub-bosses. In the SNES version of the pirate ship level, Bepop and Rocksteady take Tokka and Rahzar’s place; garbed in theme-appropriate attire, they attack you with a whip and sword, respectively. The hulking Leatherhead awaits at the end of the train stage, scurrying about the place, lashing at you with his tail, and tossing daggers your way, while you’ll go one-on-one with Krang while racing through the futuristic streets of 2020 A.D. Krang’s a lot less of a threat compared to the last game, dashing at you with a kick, smacking you with a clap attack, and firing missiles from his chest, but he resurfaces in the Technodrome stage. Now flying a UFO, he drops Mousers into the arena and teleports about to avoid your attacks, but the SNES version also adds a bubble-like projectile to his arsenal and has him more erratically which, in conjunction with his height, can make him a difficult target.

*The Shredder is far more persistent and dangerous in the SNES version of the game.*

Naturally, you’ll also do battle with the TMNT’s mortal enemy, the Shredder. However, in the SNES version of the game, you actually battle him twice and the final battle is noticeably different in both versions. The first time you face him is at the end of the new Technodrome level, where he hops behind the controls of some unseen giant mech and blasts at you with bullets while swiping with a retractable claw arm in perhaps one of the game’s most memorable boss battles. To defeat the Shredder, you need to avoid his targeting reticule and hurl Foot Soldiers at him in a fun bit of innovation, though this can be tricky to do due to poor visibility and the sheer number of enemies and projectiles. The Shredder awaits in the final stage of the game, too, where the Statue of Liberty looms in the background; in the arcade version, he attacks with his sword and martial arts skills while also sending out plasma hands similar to Baxter and once again sporting an instant death regression blast that turns you back into a regular turtle. In the SNES version, Shredder immediately transforms into his far more formidable Super Shredder form; protected by a flaming aura, Super Shredder sends fireballs flying your way, shoots flames along the ground, and fires bolts into the air while dashing about the screen at breakneck speed.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Unfortunately, for all the additions Turtles in Time sports, power-ups are not one of them. You can still replenish your health with the odd pizza box but the only other power-up available to pick up is a bomb pizza item that sends you into a frenzy for a few seconds.

Additional Features:
As is to be expected, the arcade release is limited in its options; you can play with up to four other players both on- and offline and try to out-do your last high score, but there’s not much else on offer beyond playing through this awesome game as a different character. The SNES version might have taken a graphical hit but actually boasts a few interesting additional features: you can go head-to-head against a friend in versus mode, take on three courses in a time trial mode, pick from three difficulty settings (with different continues and endings assigned to each), set your maximum number of lives, and enjoy the benefits of a sound test. You can also pick between two colour schemes, “Comic” and “Animation”, which gives the TMNT new colour palettes, which is a nice touch. Naturally, the Cowabunga Collection adds a number slew of extra features to the list, however; first, you’ll gain a 70G Achievement for finishing each game, you can use the Left Bumper to rewind, and use the Right Bumper to access save states and display options. The arcade version can be further enhanced with a level select, God Mode (which makes you invincible and allows one-hit kills on most enemies and bosses), the removal of the penalty bombs that kill you if you linger about, and the ability to activate the far harder “Nightmare Mode” and speed things up with Turbo Mode. The SNES version isn’t lacking in similar options, boasting a level select and additional lives, while also providing every boss with a helpful life meter. Even better, you’ll still get your Achievements even with these enhancements activated and you can again peruse a strategy guide, switch between the American and Japanese versions (with minimal differences that I could see), view the game’s box art and manuals, and even choose to simply watch the game play itself.

The Summary:
There’s a reason Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time is remembered so fondly; it really was the quintessential TMNT videogame at the time, taking everything that was so good about the original arcade release and expanding on it with larger, more varied stages and far more interesting boss battles. While the gameplay remains very much the same and there’s a distinct and disappointing lack of power-ups, the game is much more enjoyable than its predecessor, offering more enemies and more visually interesting environments to battle through. The SNES release, while noticeably lacking in visual and audio quality, is a surprisingly faithful recreation of its arcade counterpart; sporting some nifty additional features and new levels and bosses, it’s easy to see why it was a must-have game for the system back in the day. The Cowabunga Collection only adds to the appeal of both games, offering numerous quality of life options to make gameplay a breeze and preserving these two classic arcade beat-‘em-ups for a whole new generation. There may be better beat-‘em-up titles out there, with more gameplay variety, more power-ups, and more options available, but Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles videogames didn’t get much better than Turtles in Time when it was released and it’s a joy to see it more readily available so others can experience the fast-paced, action-packed pick-up-and-play thrill of these simplistic brawlers.

My Rating:

Great Stuff

Did you ever play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time out in the wild? How do you think it compares to other TMNT videogames and similar arcade fighters? Did you own the SNES version? If so, what did you think to the new levels and bosses and were you impressed with the conversion from the arcade original? Which of the characters was your go-to and which of the game’s bosses was your favourite? What did you think to the additional features added to the Cowabunga Collection? Which of the four Turtles is your favourite (and why is it Raphael?) Whatever your thoughts, I’d love to hear your memories of Turtles in Time down in the comments!

Back Issues [HulkaMAYnia]: The Savage She-Hulk #1

14/05/202322/05/2023Dr. K3 Comments

Since his explosive debut in May 1962, Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s gamma-irradiated Jade Giant has been one of their most recognisable and successful characters thanks, in large part, to the Incredible Hulk television show (1977 to 1982) catapulting the Hulk into a mainstream, pop culture icon. The Hulk has been no slouch in the comics either, being a founding member of the Avengers and undergoing numerous changes that have made him one of their most versatile and enduring characters, so what better way to celebrate all things Big Green than by dedicating every Sunday in May to the Green Goliath?

Story Title: “The She-Hulk Lives”
Published: 13 November 1979 (cover-dated February 1980)
Writer: Stan Lee
Artists: John Buscema and Chic Stone

The Background:
The Incredible Hulk (and his human alter ego, Doctor Robert Bruce Banner), was another creation of Marvel legends Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Inspired by a story of a hysterical mother exhibiting superhuman strength to rescue her trapped child, as well as classic movie monsters Frankenstein’s Monster and Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde, Lee and Kirby’s allegory to the foils of war initially debuted as a stone-grey figure who emerged at the onset of night. Although The Incredible Hulk was cancelled only a year and a half in, the character returned to a position of prominence thanks to subsequent expansions of his lore and character and the popularity of the Incredible Hulk television show. The eighty episode series not only established the Green Goliath as a mainstream icon but also directly led to the creation of his female counterpart; fearing that Incredible Hulk producer Kenneth Johnson would create a female spin-off as he had with The Bionic Woman (1976 to 1978), Marvel had Lee dream up a She-Hulk first so that they would own the rights, and the character would be the last one Lee created for Marvel until the early nineties. Written as the alter ego of Banner’s cousin, Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk was intentionally cast as a lawyer to promote equality and her original self-titled run lasted 1982, after which she made guest appearances, joined the Avengers and the Fantastic Four, and became known for both breaking the fourth wall and being a strong feminist icon for Marvel. Although a live-action film never came to pass in the early nineties, She-Hulk shared the spotlight with her cousin in the Incredible Hulk cartoon from the mid-nineties and made her live-action debut in the Marvel Cinematic Universe at the tail-end of 2022.

The Review:
Our story begins with a dialogue box amusingly lamp shading Stan Lee’s tendency to get Banner’s first name wrong and finding the fugitive arriving in Los Angeles, California. After being on the run, hounded by the police and the military, ever since his first transformation into the Hulk, Banner has finally reached his limit and is in need of help, so he seeks out his kid cousin, Jennifer Walters, for some solace. I’m not entirely sure where his long-time friend, confidante, and on-and-off sidekick Rick Jones is or if the comics have ever mentioned Jennifer prior to this, but apparently they were extremely close as children, almost like brother and sister. Jennifer works as a successful criminal lawyer and affectionately refers to Banner as “Doc”, but also has absolutely no knowledge of his dual identity so you know what that means! Over the course of six panels and one page, Banner recounts the specifics of his origin and his curse to transform into a rampaging, near-mindless beast whenever angry or panicked thanks to a massive dose of Gamma radiation, and, despite her shock at this knowledge, Jennifer immediately insists that he come back to her home so that she can shelter and help him. Although he’s reluctant because of the inherent danger, she waves his concerns off since her profession means she’s used to living with danger; for example, she’s currently defending a low-level hoodlum named Monkton who’s been accused of murdering mobster Nick Trask’s bodyguard, which she believes is a frame-up.

*Banner’s forced to give Jennifer a blood transfusion, transforming her into the Savage She-Hulk!*

While she’s confident of her ability and safety, Banner isn’t so sure, and his concerns immediately turn out to be correct as Trask’s hitmen follow them back to her house and put a bullet in her back. Banner’s able to keep calm long enough to fend the gunmen off with a simple garden house and they hit the road to avoid attracting any unwanted attention, leaving Banner to struggle with his rising emotions and to find some way of helping the injured Jennifer. With no time to wait for an ambulance, he carries her over to (and breaks into) a convenient nearby doctor’s surgery and does the only thing he can think of: a blood transfusion with his blood (which, also conveniently, is the exact same as Jennifer’s) which stabilises her long enough for him to call for an ambulance and the police. For some reason, the cops immediately peg Banner as a suspect, especially when he doesn’t have an identification or credit cards, and the stress finally reaches boiling point, causing him to Hulk-out and escape custody (though we only get the briefest glimpse of the Hulk). The next day, Banner is relieved to learn from the local tabloid that Jennifer is doing well and reluctantly makes plans to leave town to avoid his true identity being discovered. However, while recovering in the hospital, Jennifer feels a strange tingling sensation throughout her body but this, and her concerns over Banner’s welfare, are quickly set aside when Trask’s hitmen come in posing as doctors and looking to finish the job they started. As they pin her down and attempt to chloroform her, Jennifer suddenly undergoes her own startling transformation, tossing her attackers aside and looming over them as a huge, muscular, savage green-skinned beauty they dub “She-Hulk”.

*She-Hulk’s abilities are more than enough to force a confession and empower her to right wrongs.*

Unlike her brutish cousin, Jennifer retains her intelligence and personality when transformed, but the surge of power afforded to her (especially after feeling so helpless mere moments before), causes her to lash out and revel in her newfound abilities. She easily tosses a hospital bed at one of her would-be murderers (probably killing him…) and chases down the others, ripping open elevator doors and hauling the elevator cart up when they try to escape! Though terrified by their pursuer, the hitmen are able to elude her, and she inspires only further fear in the hospital staff and orderlies due to her savage appearance and ceaseless pursuit of her targets. “Throbbing with power” and revelling in her superhuman strength, She-Hulk’s rational mind is somewhat clouded by her absolute rage and, as they try to race away in their car, she easily cripples their vehicle with a well-timed throw of a nearby road sign. She then manhandles one of them until he confesses that Trask hired them to kill her and admitting that it was Trask himself who killed Monkton. This is apparently enough for the nearby cops to arrest the gunmen, and they ultimately let She-Hulk go since “there’s no law against green skin” (and, apparently, destruction of city property, causing an affray, grievous bodily harm, and harassment are all hunky-dory). As She-Hulk flees, her anger fades alongside her incredible strength with it. She successfully makes it back to her hospital room without being seen, returning to her normal, human state just in time, and consoles herself with the knowledge that her newfound monstrous alter ego will be able to handle any threat that comes her way in the future.

The Summary:
I was expecting a little more from “The She-Hulk Lives”, if I’m being honest. Her bombastic debut issue really could’ve done with being a double-length feature so we would could learn a little bit more about Jennifer and Banner’s past and relationship beyond a couple of panels, and the story almost reads like it could’ve been condensed down a little and been included as a back-up feature in the regular Hulk book. Thankfully, the artwork, writing, and dialogue are much better than what we normally saw in the sixties; unlike many female characters, Jennifer isn’t written as some air-headed bimbo and is actually a pretty capable woman in her own right. She clearly went to law school, or a similar educational institute, and is successful enough to have her own office and to be working on a big case. She’s also incredibly compassionate and loyal to her cousin; she doesn’t judge him for his affliction and offers to help him without hesitation, viewing him as a brother and sure that the two of them can work something out. Finally, she’s pretty self-confident; although he’s usually overly paranoid, Banner immediately recognises that her case against Trask is considerably dangerous but she’s so sure of herself that she doesn’t even consider there being any reprisals against her. Naturally, this ends up biting her in the ass and she nearly dies from a gunshot wound and this (and her subsequent spell in hospital) is the only time Jennifer is portrayed as being weak and in need of help from others.

*Although I’d to see more of Jennifer and Banner/Hulk, She-Hulk made a decent impression.*

Banner is so panicked at the thought of losing her that he gives her his blood without thinking and, for all his science-smarts, without even considering the effect his Gamma-irradiated blood might have on her. Due to the risk of being exposed and causing unnecessary destruction, he doesn’t even check in on her afterwards and quietly leaves the story without us even properly seeing the Hulk, which is actually to allow the She-Hulk to take centre stage. It’s not explored in this story but it can be assumed that the transfusion was far less potent than Banner’s own Gamma exposure, accounting for She-Hulk’s retained personality and intelligence and less impressive strength, but she’s still a force to be reckoned with in her green state and overcome with anger due to her previous helplessness and the evil of Trask’s men (and, it can be inferred, all such men who seek to undermine and hurt women). I do feel, though, that the story might’ve benefitted from a confrontation between She-Hulk and the Hulk; maybe she could’ve battled him to a standstill and helped calm him down through their shared condition and showing him some compassion. I have no doubt that this probably did happen in a subsequent issue or encounter between the two, but it does mean that She-Hulk’s debut falls a little flat even compared to her cousin’s first appearance since she only exerts herself against a few regular hoodlums. While this opens itself up into a feminist reading about a woman exerting power and dominance over an oppressive patriarchy, I feel that’s more inferred than explicitly showcased in her debut issue and wouldn’t come to the forefront until she was a bit more established.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

How did you find She-Hulk’s debut story? Did you read it when it was first published and, if so, did She-Hulk leave much of an impression on you or were you expecting something more? What did you think to the concept of a female Hulk and the idea that she is far more stable when transformed? Would you have liked to see her throw down with the Hulk here or were you happy with her rallying against common mobsters? What is your favourite She-Hulk story or moment and how are you celebrating the Hulk’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on She-Hulk, go ahead and share them below or leave a comment on my social media and be sure to check out my other Hulk content!

Game Corner [X-Men Day]: X-Men: The Official Game (Xbox 360)

13/05/202313/11/2025Dr. K1 Comment

To commemorate, the culmination of their long-running and successful X-Men movies, 20^th Century Fox declared May 13^th as “X-Men Day”, a day to celebrate all things Mutant and X-Men and celebrate Marvel’s iconic collection of superpowered beings who fight to protect a world that hates and fears them.

Released: 16 May 2006
Developer: Z-Axis
Also Available For: Game Boy Advance, GameCube, Nintendo DS, PC, PlayStation 2, Xbox

The Background:
Ever since Stan Lee and long-time collaborator Jack Kirby created the X-Men in 1963, Mutants have featured prominently in Marvel Comics and grew to greater mainstream prominence thanks to the influential animated series from the nineties, the success of which led to 20^th Century Fox purchasing the film rights and producing a successful long-running live-action franchise. The X-Men have also have a storied history in pixels and polygons; the Mutant team first came to life on the Nintendo Entertainment System in what was essentially a vertical shooter, but the characters arguably saw the most success in their numerous arcade ventures and team-based brawlers. To coincide with the release of X-Men: The Last Stand (Ratner, 2006), publisher Activision was tasked with creating a tie-in videogame to be released across all available platforms and bridge the gap between X2: X-Men 2 (Singer, 2003) and the third entry. However, just as X-Men: The Last Stand was critically panned, X-Men: The Official Game failed to impress with its poor enemy A.I., repetitive gameplay, and for being little more than a shameless cash-in.

The Plot:
Still reeling from the death of Doctor Jean Grey, James “Logan” Howlett/Wolverine, Bobby Drake/Iceman, and Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler battle radical terrorist group known as Hydra and their gigantic, Mutant-hunting Sentinels, encountering some of their worst enemies in the process.

Gameplay:
X-Men: The Official Game is a third-person action game with three distinct gameplay styles split across its three playable characters, Wolverine, Iceman, and Nightcrawler, who embark on an adventure that takes place soon after the events of X-Men 2 and fills the gap between that film and X-Men: The Last Stand to explain why Nightcrawler is missing from the team in the third movie. While the levels in X-Men: The Official Game are pretty linear, the developers furnished players with a helpful mini map which indicates friendly non-playable characters (NPCs), enemies, and points you in the direction of your next objective/s. There are a few branching paths you can sometimes take, either by smashing through walls and windows as Wolverine or teleporting to higher areas as Nightcrawler, but these generally just lead to a collectible and it is actually pretty easy to get turned around as everything looks very similar. Although each character has a distinct way of playing, there are some similarities between all three: both Wolverine and Nightcrawler can jump with A and dish out attacks and combos with X and Y, Nightcrawler and Iceman can both target foes with the Left Trigger, and all three will automatically heal from minor wounds (though Wolverine and Nightcrawler and able to dramatically speed this up by holding the Left Bumper or pressing the Right Bumper, respectively, whenever it’s safe to do so, though any movement at all will cancel out this healing boost).

*Slice through enemies as Wolverine, teleport about as Nightcrawler, and slide around as Iceman.*

Wolverine’s gameplay is very much that of a hack-and-slash brawler; however, fans of genre-defining titles like the God of War series (Various, 2005 to present) will be left disappointed as Wolverine is quite a clunky and limited character thanks to the presentation and camera angles offered by this game. With a tap of LB, Wolverine can sheath and unsheathe his claws (which is more of an Easter Egg than anything), which he can use to slash at the multitude of minions who come charging at him in any given level. Using combinations of X, Y, and B (which pushes enemies away), Wolverine can string together some basic combos; he can also block incoming attacks by holding the Left or Right Trigger (and you can flick the analogue stick while blocking to pull off an awkward dodge roll to try and get away from sticky situations), and successfully landing attacks will build up his “Fury Meter” which, when full, powers up your attacks and healing for a short time with a press of the Right Bumper. Nightcrawler has similar capabilities in combat, but his levels are much more focused on platforming with his signature teleport and a bit of semi-stealth. Nightcrawler can also string together punches and kicks for combos, but you’re best served using his relocation attack; pressing B sees him automatically teleport behind the nearest enemy to pummel them with X or smash them with Y, which is great for taking out groups of enemies quickly. RT allows Nightcrawler to teleport to a variety of surfaces, from pipes to bridges and walkways, and is great for quickly traversing areas and getting to consoles or control panels which need rewiring with X. Of the three, Iceman is the most unique as he’s constantly moving forwards on an ice slide and his levels play much more like chasers or dogfight simulators. Holding A lets Iceman boost ahead, while RT brakes and RB allows him to flip around quickly to retarget enemies. X unleashes an ice beam, which is great for freezing up pipes or putting out fires, while B tosses out his Hailstorm attack and Y puts up a temporary frost shield. You’ll need to constantly tap LT and B when faced with multiple targets, but Iceman’s levels are much more geared towards preventing catastrophes or reaching a goal and are often accompanied by an anxiety-inducing time limit.

*Whether you’re fighting a gauntlet, repairing consoles, or facing a time limit, things get very tedious.*

The game’s story mode is laid out in a linear mission-based structure; at various points, the narrative branches off to follow each of the three characters and, prior to starting a mission, you can pick from three difficulty settings: “Novice”, “Hero”, and “Superhero”. These will dictate how tough the enemies are, with enemies on “Superhero” able to whittle your health to nothing in just a few hits or under sustained gunfire, but there are perks to completing the mission on higher difficulties as you earn more “Mutation Evolutions” on these settings. These power-up each character’s stats, raising such attributes as their overall health, the damage their attacks deal, and their health and energy recovery, and the only way you’ll only be able to max out your abilities is by beating every mission on “Superhero” mode. This, however, is easier said than done; the game is very stingy with its checkpoints, meaning that failure to complete some of the game’s more monotonous tasks requires you to start the mission over right from the beginning. Following glorified training missions for each character, you’ll be thrust into the game’s story mode and, very quickly, will see everything X-Men: The Official Game has to offer. Wolverine will pretty much always be tasked with clearing away all enemies, with wave upon wave teleporting in or rushing in through doors, though he sometimes has to dodge hazards such as flaming vents and cages or destroy something in order to progress. Nightcrawler almost always has to teleport about the claustrophobic environments, activating panels or rewiring stuff, and occasionally luring exploding probes to power nodes or Sentinels to open doors. Iceman is either racing towards something or fending off attacks, often against a time limit; this means you’ll be dousing fires and cooling down nuclear reactors with your ice beam or chasing down an enemy or towards a goal before time runs out. Occasionally, another X-Men appears to help out; Ororo Munroe/Storm accompanies Wolverine and Nightcrawler you can have her instantly kill all enemies with her lightning by pressing in the left stick, while Nightcrawler also has to deactivate shields so that Piotr “Peter” Rasputin/Colossus can destroy some power generators, but Iceman has no such help when desperately trying to stop Giant Sentinels from marching on the downed X-Jet. Sometimes Iceman will have to slide through “nav points” (essentially glorified rings) and avoid laser hazards and mines, sometimes Wolverine’s locked in a room and forced to fight a gauntlet of enemies, and sometimes Nightcrawler has to destroy glowing crystals to keep enemies from spawning, but it’s all very repetitive and your objectives tend to be to do something once and then repeat it three or four times until the mission abruptly ends.

Graphics and Sound:
In all honesty, X-Men: The Official Game doesn’t look all that bad; the in-game graphics are pretty decent, with stylistic versions of the film characters well represented for the most part, though the range of animation offered by the three is somewhat lacklustre. Of them all, Nightcrawler looks the best; I love his little coat and how he spins around on poles with a flourish and sometimes gallops on all fours, and it’s a stark contrast to Iceman, who is either relatively static due to his gameplay or ragdolling all over the place when knocked from his slide. Wolverine looks good, but his gameplay is tedious and clunky and severely hampered by the lack of a lunge attack, though he does gain some extra animation frames when in Fury Mode or trying to pounce on larger enemies. The game’s music is pretty decent; it’s mostly all ripped from X-Men: The Last Stand, and many of the film’s cast return to voice their respective characters. In fact, the vocal work may be one of the best things about this game; it’s great hearing Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart not only reprise their roles but do it without the lifelessness and boredom that so often accompanies videogame tie-ins.

*While the game’s later locations become more visually interesting, the cutscenes are a cheap let down.*

Sadly, the same praise can’t be levelled at the game’s environments and cutscenes. Cutscenes are accomplished using a motion comic aesthetic not unlike those employed at various points in games by NetherRealm Studios; these painted pictures have a very limited range of movement, no lip synching, and the cutscenes come off as cheap and rushed and quite unsightly as a result. The in-game environments are okay, but disappointingly bland; the whole game makes a clear effort to evoke the grey, grounded, semi-sci-fi aesthetic of Singer’s films but there’s generally not really much to see since areas are so linear and empty. You’ll get to fight on the Statue of Liberty in a call-back to the first film and revisit the surprisingly unflooded Alkali Lake facility from the second film and the Weapon X laboratory, all of which are very well realised interpretations of the film locations but are so grey and drab that even cheeky references to Wade W. Wilson/Deadpool can’t save them. Thankfully, once the game gets away from recreating areas from X-Men 2, locations become a bit more visually interesting; the Sentinel factory is great, with a massive Sentinel head looming in the background, as are the colourful levels that take Wolverine to an elaborate Japanese palace and garden grounds, but the game really shines once you get into the Master Mold’s control centre, a gigantic airship full of electrified wires and ominous dread that evokes the Borg Cube. Iceman’s chase through the streets of Hong Kong is similarly a visual spectacle thanks to the neon signs, bridges, and skyscrapers, all of which helps to really elevate the game’s presentation after the first few drab missions and despite the tedious gameplay.

Enemies and Bosses:
With such varied and colourful characters as the X-Men and the Brotherhood to work with, it’s no surprise that the developers chose to mainly have you wade through an endless supply of generic and boring Hydra thugs. These guys come packing machine guns, electrified axes and lances, and claws and can mostly be taken out with some quick combos but some will block your attacks. For Wolverine, things get a little more interesting as he gets to battle the Hydra “Wind Unit” (who are basically ninjas with two katana), while Iceman is often blasting at smaller Sentinels or fire dragons conjured by John Allerdyce/Pyro. Nightcrawler will also have to deal with Sentinels but he can only take them out by teleporting to them and luring explosive drones to them before the robots can blast him off with a shockwave. Later, Nightcrawler is placed in a nightmarish illusion by Jason Stryker and forced to battle off teleporting demonic entities, and you’ll also encounter Hydra goons packing bazookas and heavy cannons in some levels. For the most part, the enemy AI is pretty dumb; they’ll easily lose track of you and won’t think to go around certain obstacles, but in wider, more open areas they can be incredibly annoying and persistent, catching you in a crossfire or swarming around you to deplete your health in seconds while you desperately try to escape to safety.

*No matter who Wolverine faces, the same hit-and-run tactics will always serve you well.*

Each character also has to deal with a number of bosses, with some fought multiple times in different forms. During Wolverine’s first training mission, you’ll battle against Victor Creed/Sabretooth to learn the basics of combat; Sabretooth makes a return as the final boss of the game, too, where he’s fought within the decaying remains of the Master Mold facility and significantly more powerful even against your upgraded stats. Sabretooth charges at you with a shoulder barge, can hit slow but powerful combos, grabs and lunges at you, and even has his own Fury Mode that speeds him up and makes him more aggressive. Still, the best thing to do is to avoid his attacks, hit a quick combo, and then stay out of his reach to build up your Fury Meter before unleashing it (avoiding pressing Y as this lunge isn’t effective against him) to whittle down his health bar. Halfway through the fight, Sabretooth flees to a lower level, where debris is a concern for both you and him, and you’ll also have to worry about his health slowly replenishing if you take too long, but he’s not especially difficult to put down. Yuriko Oyama/Lady Deathstrike makes a return in this game and you’ll battle her a couple of times, too; the first time you fight her, it’s within the eye of a hurricane and you have to be careful of being blasted about by the winds while also pushing her into the hazard, and the second time is within a Japanese temple and forces you to fend off waves of enemies between rounds. Still, Lady Deathstrike may be faster and nimbler than Sabretooth, but the same hit-and-run tactics work well against her and it’s much easier to get her trapped in a corner and just go at her full pelt until she goes down. Wolverine’s toughest foe is easily the Silver Samurai; this hulking armoured bastard can teleport about, has great reach with his broadsword, doesn’t get stunned by your attacks, and can send out both energy blades and electrified shockwaves and forces you to fight his minions between bouts. Once again, simply run or dodge about to avoid the brunt of his attacks and build up your Fury Meter and then just tank him as he’s a bit of a damage sponge and can easily cut you down with just a few swipes of his sword.

*Nightcrawler and Iceman generally have to fulfill other objectives while fighting their bosses.*

Nightcrawler only gets one boss to fight against, but it’s one of the more frustrating ones in the game; while on the rainswept Brooklyn Bridge, he and Storm must fend off clones of James Madrox/Multiple Man while teleporting about the place and defusing his many bombs against a time limit. Afterwards, Nightcrawler has to battle him alone and more directly; the “prime” Multiple Man will occasionally set an explosive charge and, if enough of them go off, the bridge will be destroyed and you’ll lose the mission but try and disarm them and you’ll be beaten to death in seconds by his ceaseless doubles. Your best bet is to stay on the move, dashing to safety and healing when you can, and hoping that he doesn’t set any of these charges (or quickly interrupt him before he can). The hardest thing about this battle, though, is actually dealing damage to Multiple Man; he seems either impervious to your attacks or only hurt after you take out his clones, which can be hard to do as they swarm around you, making for a boss battle more about luck than anything. Iceman primarily battles against Pyro; first, Pyro tries to burn down and destroy a fission plant, then he tries to overload a nuclear reactor, and then he conjures a gigantic fire serpent to target the toxic waste canisters. If enough of these are destroyed, the mission ends so make sure you’re rapidly switching target locks and throwing out your Hailstorms to take out the fire dragons. The serpent itself is also quite a damage sponge, and can set you ablaze if you get too close, but if you power-up Iceman’s Hailstorm attack that makes things a lot easier. Definitely his hardest challenge is stopping a seemingly endless army of Giant Sentinels from destroying the X-Jet in Hong Kong; these huge armoured hulks can only be destroyed by targeting six yellow power nodes, but the ones on the front are super hard to hit not just because of aiming difficulties but also because of their high-powered lasers. Destroy one, and another drops soon after, and another, and this was the first mission where I actively had to drop the difficulty down to “Novice” to get past it and even then it was a pain in the ass!

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Unfortunately, there are no collectible power-us available here. Wolverine and Nightcrawler can built meters (either by landing attacks or waiting for it to charge, respectively) to speed up their healing but the closest Iceman gets is destroying Sentinels to gain extra time until fifteen are taken out. As mentioned, Storm and Colossus will accompany you for some missions; Storm can unleash her lightning, but you’ll need to wait for her meter to fill up too, and you’ll also need to get back to help Colossus fend off the Hydra goons before they deal too much damage to him.

Additional Features:
There are sixteen Achievements up for grabs here, with three insulting 0G Achievements awarded after clearing each character’s training mission, three more being rewarded for completing the story mode’s three vaguely defined acts, and three more earned after fully upgrading each characters Mutations. You’ll no doubt notice a few collectibles in each level of the game; every mission hides five Sentinel Tech files and one Weapon X file, and collecting all of these for each character will award another three Achievements and also unlock a bonus costume for each character and a “Danger Room Challenge” for each. Unfortunately, while these collectibles aren’t too difficult to find even without a guide, the rewards you get are pretty pathetic; the costumes are little more than street clothes variants and just having one each is more than a disappointment, it’s a travesty. The Danger Room Challenges amount to timed obstacle courses and challenges used to test your character’s gameplay and abilities, but you earn nothing for completing them so there’s no point in them even being there. Aside from all that, your only other option is to try and beat every mission on “Superhero” to fully upgrade every character, something you won’t really be motivated to do since the gameplay is so uninspiring that even the promise of cutting down goons dressed in Wolverine’s signature wife-beater won’t be incentive enough to ever play this game again.

The Summary:
I tend to go into movie tie-in videogames with pretty low expectations; while I’ve played a fair amount that are pretty good, there’s no denying that they’re generally very rushed, lacking in content, and don’t have a lot going for them. On the plus side, they can sometimes be quite cheap and have some easy-to-snag Achievements, and that’s basically what you’re getting here with X-Men: The Official Game. There’s some decent stuff on offer here; Nightcrawler, especially, is pretty fun to play as and I enjoyed teleporting about the place and pummelling enemies with his attacks, and even Iceman was quite fun in the few missions where you weren’t forced to battle against an arbitrary time limit. Sadly, and most confusingly, it’s Wolverine’s gameplay that really drags this one down; he’s very restricted in his offense and the lack of checkpoints really makes getting through some missions, but especially his tedious gauntlets, a frustrating chore. Awful cutscenes aside, the presentation is pretty good; the game makes a decent attempt at recreating iconic locations from the first two films while infusing a more comic book aesthetic and storyline into the movie timeline, but locations are far too bland and repetitive to really be all that interesting, even in the latter parts of the game. Bosses battles are equally uninspiring; thanks to Wolverine getting the bulk of them, they’re hardly a selling point of the game’s few strengths and, overall, there are far better superhero and action videogames out there for you to put your time into. A serious lack of options, unlockables, and replayability hamper this title; while it’s not too difficult to blast through it in about four to six hours, it’s unlikely you’ll be motivated to try and get everything you miss the first time around and, despite a few entertaining aspects, it remains a cheap cash grab designed solely to leech off the popularity of Fox’s X-Men films rather than actually trying to be an entertaining videogame experience in and of itself.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

Did you enjoy X-Men: The Official Game? Which of the three characters was your favourite? Did you enjoy the game’s effort to bridge the gap between X-Men 2 and X-Men: The Last Stand? Which of the game’s missions and bosses was your favourite and do you feel like Sentinels are a little overdone in Marvel games? Did you ever fully upgrade the characters and find all the collectibles? Were you disappointed by the lack of options and unlockable extras? What’s the worst (or best) videogame tie-in you’ve ever played? Which X-Men videogame is your favourite and how are you celebrating X-Men Day today? Whatever you think about X-Men: The Official Game, and X-Men in general, feel free to share your thoughts below.

Back Issues: Marvel Premiere Featuring the Power of… Warlock #1

12/05/202328/05/2023Dr. K2 Comments

Story Title: “And Men Shall Call Him… Warlock!”
Published: April 1972
Writer: Roy Thomas
Artist: Gil Kane

The Background:
It’s generally accepted that Marvel Comics head honcho Martin Goodman tasked then-editor Stan Lee with creating a superhero team in response to DC Comics’ Justice League of America. Lee used this opportunity to create stories and characters that appealed to him and drafted a synopsis of the dysfunctional Fantastic Four for the legendary Jack Kirby to work on, creating the “Marvel Method” of writer/artist collaboration in the process. Although Kirby disputed this story, the duo are credited as co-creators of Marvel’s First Family, whose comic books went on to introduce characters and concepts that would become integral to Marvel Comics. One such character was the mysterious cosmic entity initially known only as “Him”; also created by Lee and Kirby, He first appeared in Fantastic Four #66 and 67 as an artificial being created by a malevolent group known as the Enclave, who were bent on world domination. After rebelling against his creators and being rechristening “Adam Warlock” by Herbert Wyndham/The High Evolutionary, an arrogant supervillain scientist known for creating bizarre animal/human hybrids, Warlock was imbued with the power of the Soul Gem and headed out into the universe to find his true self. Though a relatively unknown Marvel creation, Adam Warlock was at the forefront of one of the publisher’s biggest stories, The Infinity Gauntlet (Starlin, et al, 1991), fought against his own dark half given physical form, and was often positioned as an allegorical Messiah against the backdrop of cosmic discord. Adam Warlock has featured in minor roles outside of the comics, appearing as a supporting character in Marvel videogames and cartoons, and was name-dropped at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (Gunn, 2017) as a future threat for the titular Guardians before making his live-action debut in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Gunn, 2023), portrayed by Will Poulter.

The Review:
Since Marvel Premiere #1, in true Marvel fashion, features a lengthy recap of Adam Warlock’s origin, I didn’t think it was necessary to do an in-depth review of His first true appearance in Marvel Comics but, for those who are curious, He came about after Ben Grimm/The Thing’s blind girlfriend, Alicia Masters, was abducted by the Enclave and taken to their unreasonably complicated, beehive-like lair. There, she learned that the Enclave’s highly advanced scientists desired to create a perfect race of human beings, with “Him” being the first; however, He proved so unstable and powerful that they were forced to contain Him and unable to look upon Him due to his blinding light. They wanted Alicia to sculpt a likeness of Him and she braved His destructive power to reach and appeal to Him, completely unaware that the Enclave wished to use His power to conquer the Earth. Initially encased within a rock-like cocoon, He burst free and enacted a brutal revenge upon his creators, sparing Alicia but exhibiting a cold disinterest in the destruction of the beehive laboratory that birthed Him as He fled to the stars until the world was ready for His power.

*Prior to creating his own world, the High Evolutionary finds and forms a bond with Him out in space.*

“And Men Shall Call Him… Warlock!” opens in the vastness of space to find the High Evolutionary’s massive asteroid space station drifting through our galaxy; aboard, the High Evolutionary himself muses on the long and difficult journey he has taken in the quest to produce his half-human, half-animal “New-Men”. His highly advanced technology saw him transform an ordinary wolf into a man-sized beast that was savage enough to battle Thor Odinson in combat; the failure of this project exposed the High Evolutionary to the threat his creations pose to his former homeworld, so he transported the Man-Beast and a contingent of “evil” New-Men to a faraway world, where they only further regressed, forcing him to turn to Doctor Bruce Banner/The Hulk to quell their aggression. In the fracas, the High Evolutionary was mortally wounded, forcing him to abandon his armour and subject himself to an experimental process that saw him ascend to the pinnacle of human evolution. Immortal and God-like, he merged with the greater cosmos but was driven to the brink of madness from isolation, thus returning to his armour to fulfil some mysterious purpose. His ruminations are interrupted by Sir Raam, the most loyal of his Knights of Wundagore, who alerts him of His mysterious cocoon floating in space; curious, the High Evolutionary has it brought onboard his planetoid so he can investigate further. Unfettered by His visage, the High Evolutionary is instead captivated by His unblemished perfection and urges the divine man to share his story. After fleeing Earth, He also came into conflict with Thor before retreating to the stars to await the day when He could exist in a universe free from hatred and oppression. Impressed, the High Evolutionary agrees to expediate His journey through the stars but He is intrigued by the immortal’s “Project Alpha”, an ambitious plan to create a mirror version of Earth whose evolution he can directly influence.

*With his world tainted, the High Evolutionary reluctantly agrees to send Him to tack down the Man-Beast.*

The two agree that humanity is too volatile and too quick to descend into misery and bloodshed, so the High Evolutionary creates a Counter-Earth as a haven for his own creations. Although the process places an intense strain on the High Evolutionary, he pushes through his discomfort to bombard a rock sample with “rays” and accelerate the formation of this new world, one safely hidden from ours by being placed on the opposite side of the Sun and, within the space of a few panels, has created a prehistoric world whose development he’s able to speed up beyond the limits of creation, evolution, and even the divine. This Counter-Earth is thus ripe for the coming of the High Evolutionary’s superior race of men, one purged of their killer instinct, but the effort of creating it is so intense that it causes the High Evolutionary to pass out from exhaustion. This is the moment that the Man-Beast and his followers, who had been observing their creator, choose to strike, gunning down Sir Raam and perverting this new world, introducing violence and aggression and causing the Counter-Earth to descend into generations of war at the simple twist of a dial. The High Evolutionary recovers and surprises the Man-Beast with his newfound superior physical strength; however, a ”bestial mind-blast” and the sheer numbers and savagery of his rebellious creations threaten to overwhelm the would-be deity and, seeing this, He decides to break free from his cocoon to intervene. Emerging garbed in a “resplendent […] armour and ornaments” created by his cocoon, He causes the beasts to flee in terror to the Counter-Earth. Dismayed by the Man-Beast’s actions, the High Evolutionary sees no other choice but to destroy his new world but He beseeches him to spare the world. Retracting his condemnation of humanity and wishing to nurture their better nature, He requests to be sent to the Counter-Earth to track down the Man-Beast. Touched by His words, the High Evolutionary reluctantly agrees; he gifts Him with a mysterious jewel to protect Him from the Man-Beast’s snares and transports Him to the surface of the fledgling world with a heavy heart and bestowing upon Him that which He has never had: a name, “Warlock”.

The Summary:
Previously, I only really knew Adam Warlock from The Infinity Gauntlet; I’ve literally never read another story with Him in in all my years of reading comics, so He’s always been a very elusive and mysterious figure for me. It’s actually refreshing that He’s not been wheeled out every time there’s a big cosmic event as it makes Him more alluring and significant, at least to me, so I was intrigued to see some of His background in this story. There was clearly a conscious effort to build a sense of mystery and divine beauty to this character, who is touted over and over as the pinnacle of human scientific acumen and seen as the next step in our evolution, a golden creation so astounding that to look upon Him is to suffer greatly. Yet, He is a deeply sensitive man-god; capable of sensing the intentions of men and fully capable of judging them accordingly, He has no interest in mindless combat and wishes only to isolate Himself until the time is right for Him to walk amongst men. Despite having battled the likes of Thor, He hasn’t ever encountered anyone worthy of his presence until He’s discovered by the High Evolutionary, a mind with whom He can relate to so strongly that He openly shares His assessment of our tumultuous species and His chaotic origins.

*Him and the High Evolutionary share many of the same views about our volatile society.*

I’m equally unfamiliar with the High Evolutionary, a highly advanced individual who I’ve always seen as a combination of Doctor Victor Von Doom/Doctor Doom and Dr. Moreau from H. G. Wells’ titular 1896 science-fiction story. The parallels are pretty explicit, given both characters like to create monstrous human/animal hybrids but the High Evolutionary isn’t just some sadistic mad scientist. Disillusioned with humanity and our warring wars, he seeks to “improve” upon our aggressive nature and faults not by destroying humankind but by creating his own world and actively directing the course of the counter-humanity’s evolution. However, comic books generally cast anyone who seeks to create life through scientific or magical means, effectively defying the natural order, as a villainous character and, to be sure, the High Evolutionary’s methods are highly questionable, yet he expresses genuine regret over the savagery of the Man-Beast. His plot isn’t to create a race of superpowered or animalistic abominations to dominate the world, or to wage war against the Earth from his asteroid laboratory; he simply wishes to create a utopia on the other side of the Sun to manipulate humanity to be the very best of themselves. In Him, the High Evolutionary sees his dreams take physical form; just seeing His visage is enough to captivate the High Evolutionary, who refers to Him as the son he never had on more than once occasion.

*Having championed humanity’s potential for good, He gains a name and a purpose for the first time.*

The two share a unique bond, agreeing that humankind is far too quick to resort to warfare than strive towards peace and prosperity, and both are impressed by each other’s abilities. However, He recognises humanity’s inherent potential for “goodness” and, thanks to his divine nature, is perhaps the only one capable of staying the High Evolutionary’s hand when he prepares to destroy the Counter-Earth he created with such ease. The High Evolutionary expresses regret in His decision to be a champion on Counter-Earth but respects Him enough to allow Him the chance to try; he doesn’t rate His chances for success but prepares Him as best as he is able, even bestowing Him with His first true name. Thus, the stage is set for the newly-christened Warlock to be not a destroyer or an impassive observer but an active participant in the formation of this Counter-Earth’s development. Those who read comics looking for some cosmic action and to see what Warlock is truly capable of may be left disappointed; as is often the case, much of the story is taken up with recaps of each character’s backgrounds but, at its core, it’s a rumination on the nature of humanity and the conflict these powerful, God-like beings feel in regards to our volatile ways. Warlock and the High Evolutionary share some engaging and introspective exchanges, there’s an interesting dialogue on offer here concerning their morally grey and ambiguous natures, and I think the story does a decent job of leaving you wanting to know where Warlock’s story goes from here on out and how he goes from desiring to inspire Counter-Earth’s residents to almost literally playing cosmic chess with Marvel’s greatest heroes and characters in The Infinity Gauntlet.

My Rating:

Pretty Good

What did you think to the return and naming on the God-like “Him”? Were you intrigued by Adam Warlock’s presence and eager to know more about Him or did you find Him a rather bland character? What do you think to the High Evolutionary, his opinions on humanity, and his plan to create his own Earth? Did you read Adam Warlock’s subsequent stories and, if so, what are some of your favourite moments of His? What did you think to this MCU debut? Whatever you think about Adam Warlock and Marvel’s cosmic shenanigans, please share your thoughts below or leave a comment on my social media.

Game Corner [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT III: Radical Rescue (Xbox Series X)

09/05/202303/07/2024Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 30 August 2022
Originally Released: 25 November 1993
Developer: Digital Eclipse
Original Developer: Konami
Also Available For: Game Boy, Nintendo Switch, PC, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S

The Background:
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were almost unrivalled in popularity back in the late-eighties and early-nineties; known as Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles here in the UK, the “Heroes in a Half-Shell” dominated an entire generation with their comics, cartoon, extensive toy line, and videogames. Konami’s efforts not only proved a hit at arcades but also took 16-bit gamers by storm and helped to make Nintendo a household name in the UK. Additionally, Konami produced three handheld TMNT titles for Nintendo’s ground-breaking portable console, the Game Boy; though restricted by the Game Boy hardware, the first two games impressed in their ambition and even tried to incorporate elements from the arcade releases. However, for this third game, Konami chose to completely overhaul not just the graphics and gameplay, but the genre too; unlike the previous two handheld efforts, Radical Rescue was a “Metroidvania” title with a heavy emphasis on exploration rather than mindless brawling. This resulted in mixed reviews, with some criticising the decision due to the Game Boy’s hardware being insufficient for such a genre and others praising the genre shift as a means to improve upon its predecessors. Either way, Radical Rescue remained a Game Boy exclusive title for nearly thirty years before it was finally re-released in the 2022 Cowabunga Collection alongside a host of other TMNT games and quality of life features.

The Plot:
When their arch-nemesis, Oroku Saki/The Shredder, strikes again by kidnapping their master and father-figure, Splinter, the TMNT leap into action one turtle short. Now Michelangelo must venture into the Shredder’s hazardous mine to rescue his brothers, and their master, and put a stop to their enemy’s latest scheme.

Gameplay:
As mentioned, Radical Rescue is a 2D adventure game with a heavy emphasis on exploration as much as combat; it thus falls under the “Metroidvania” banner and will have you constantly consulting a barely useful grid-like map to discover new paths and areas to explore in your quest to locate the other TMNT. This means that, unlike every other TMNT game I’ve ever played up to this point, you can’t select a character from the start; instead, you’re stuck with Michelangelo and must defeat bosses to acquire keys to free his brothers and then hunt down key cards to access new areas, using each turtle’s unique skills to get past enemies and obstacles. Each turtle controls the same; you use X to attack and A to jump and press X while jumping to do a flying kick. Unlike in the TMNT’s last two Game Boy outings, you can neither throw shurikens or perform a slide kick with down and X, though you can toss shuriken when climbing ladders and you’re able to switch to one of the other turtles at any time from the pause menu and each one not only has their signature weapons but comes with different abilities to get past hazards and access new areas of Shredder’s diabolical mine. Mikey actually ends up being one of the most useful characters; I found myself defaulting back to him a lot as he can perform a helicopter-like glide with his nunchakus when you press and hold A while jumping, which is great for drifting past spike pits or reaching out of the way platforms.

*Each turtle has their own unique abilities to aid with exploration as well as combat.*

While I can’t be certain, I’m fairly sure that the game forces you to rescue each of Mikey’s brothers in a specific order; I definitely found myself following a particularly path but then my logic was based simply on going for whichever boss and key card was closest to where I was. Thus, the first turtle I rescued was Leonardo, who’s given the bizarre ability to burrow through certain blocks by pressing down and A, effectively turning him into a living drill. Next, I rescued Raphael who can pop into his shell with down and A to pass harmlessly over spikes (until you inevitably have to jump up to a platform) and through small gaps and tunnels; this also makes him immune to certain attacks, which is helpful. Finally, I rescued Donatello, who can cling to and scale walls by jumping at them, which is basically required to access the final areas of the mines. Naturally, each turtle has their own strengths and weaknesses in combat, with Raph and Mike limited in their reach compared to their brothers, but I found myself favouring Mike since there’s more emphasis on jumping than any of the turtle’s other abilities. Every time you defeat a boss, your health will be fully restored, which is useful; rescuing a turtle (and, later, Splinter) grants you a password that you can jot down from the pause screen to continue if you fail in your quest, but your main enemy here will be trying to find your way around the mine and surviving its mechanical trap rooms.

*Exploration and backtracking are greatly emphasised to find secrets and rescue your allies.*

Radical Rescue all takes part in one large interconnected map; you start on the outside of the main area and venture out here a couple of times to reach other otherwise inaccessible parts of the mine, and will go through doors (either using a key card or passing through from a certain direction) to enter mechanical areas where a boss lurks. These areas, and the mine itself, and crawling with respawning enemies and numerous hazards; we’ve got falling boulders, spike pits, wall lasers, bursts of flame, ceiling spikes, Foot Soldiers trying to run you down in giant mine carts, and extremely annoying bubble-like projectiles that clog up the screen and follow you incessantly. The Cowbunga Collection allows you to activate “helpful map icons” and I’d definitely recommend doing this; it doesn’t help the basic nature of the map but it’s useful to know that you’re heading to a boss, key card, or captive in need of rescue. This will serve you well when it comes to exploration; naturally, you’re somewhat limited in how far you can go in the mines when you only have one or two turtles on hand but, when you have them all, it’s very easy to get turned around because the map is so simplistic and many of the game’s environments all look the same. Because of this, it’s not uncommon to locate a captive turtle but not have a key or to run into a door that requires a key card you haven’t gotten yet, or to have to backtrack halfway across the map to get an item you require. Once you get used to the map and have all four turtles rescued, exploration gets a little easier; you can take shortcuts by climbing or digging down certain areas, for example, but a quick travel system to the four compass points of the map would’ve been much appreciated.

Graphics and Sound:
To be fair, Radical Rescue is a step up from the TMNT’s last two Game Boy titles. Sprites are smaller now, but actually benefit from it; you get more screen space to work with and the game runs much smoother by default. As a trade-off, though, the game’s taken a step back in some areas; Leo and Raph only hold one of their weapons again, there are no idle animations, and the common Foot Soldiers simply wander about the place. However, the TMNT are far more versatile this time around; their new abilities help them to be more unique and offer up some new ways to play and some new animations and the boss sprites are far bigger and more visually interesting. Additionally, the story cutscenes are the best yet for a TMNT Game Boy title; text and large sprite art are used to convey the general plot and whenever you rescue an ally and, while these barely contain any frames of animation, they’re much more detailed than in the previous games.

*The visuals are far better but environments are too similar to impress all that much.*

The game’s music isn’t bad, either; while sound bites are at a minimum this time around, Radical Rescue still features a pretty good version of the classic TMNT theme and each area of the game has different music associated with it. However, where the game falters, for me, is in the variety of its presentation; while it’s nice to not be ploughing through the sewers, streets, and Technodrome again, I question the logic of setting the entire game in a drab, repetitive mine. Sure, there are ladders, lanterns, and some different rocky formations here and there but the Game Boy simply isn’t powerful enough to make this large and boring environment visually interesting. When you’re outside, it’s a different story; the background is still quite plain and generally just shows clouds or mountains, but it’s a nice change of pace from rocks and shit. The mechanical areas do help to break things up as well, but these all look and feel the same as well; it’s way too easy to get lost because most of these areas are largely indistinguishable from each other. I think it would’ve helped to theme them after the elements; have one take place under water or covered in snow, one have more lava pits and fire hazards, maybe implement a wind theme…anything but the same screens over and over. In this way, while Radical Rescue is easily the biggest and most involved of the TMNT’s Game Boy adventures, it also paradoxically feels the least innovative because it’s just not very engaging to plod from one dark cave to one mechanical hellscape and back again.

Enemies and Bosses:
As is to be expected, the Shredder’s Foot Soldiers are all over the place. Unlike in the TMNT’s last two Game Boy games, they’re a little bit more competent here; they mostly just wander around but the greater emphasis on horizontal and vertical exploration means they’re often in awkward places and the fact that they constantly respawn can make traversal a bit difficult at times. The Foot Soldiers will toss grenades at you (which you can destroy), wield pickaxes, and fly overhead with jetpacks to drop bombs on you, as well as try to run you down in large mine carts. You’ll also encounter little laser firing spider-like robots, these weird rock-like humanoids, and mechanical frog-like enemies that hop about and fire at you. Traditional TMNT enemies like Mousers and Roadkill Rodneys are absent here, replaced by swooping bats and an abundance of environmental hazards, such as homing missiles and spikes. Another area where Radical Rescue is a step back from its predecessors is its bosses; the game boasts only five boss battles, with all but one being some of the TMNT’s more obscure enemies (at least for me). Each one sports a health meter and each boss fight takes place in an enclosed arena that’s ripped right out of the Mega Man series (Capcom, 1987 to present).

*Bosses are fought in enclosed arenas and will test your patience at times.*

The first boss I thought was Scratch, who jumps about, swipes at you up close, and hurls a ball and chain at you from a distance. Scratch very much sets the standard for Radical Rescue’s bosses in that they have quite large hit boxes, deal quick, heavy, and nigh-unavoidable damage up close, and you need to get into a bit of a rhythm to land an attack; rather then simply tank through their hits and whittle their health down, it’s better to keep your distance and play things smart, something that serves you well in the fight against Dirtbag. This mining mole dashes at you with a super annoying uppercut and swipes with his pickaxe, but will also leap into the air and stun you if you’re touching the ground when he is. It’s pretty hard to avoid him as he always aims to land on top of you, so you need to jump away and then quickly double back to hit him and then jump away again to avoid taking damage. I was probably getting the hang of the game by the time I fought the Triceraton as he actually seemed a bit easier; for this fight, stay out of his crosshairs and avoid the lighting bolt he fires out while being mindful of his charge attack, but otherwise he’s not too dissimilar from the Rocksteady and Bebop bosses of previous TMNT games.

*As if battling these tricky bosses wasn’t bad enough, you’re forced into a boss rush before the finale.*

Lastly, you’ll battle with Scale Tail, probably the most difficult of the four main bosses; Scale Tail lashes at you with his tail when you’re up close and spits a projectile at you that becomes a plume of fire. If you manage to avoid this, the snake will try to blow you into the hazard, though this is actually your best chance to attack him providing you can fight against the rush of air and avoid taking damage from his large hit box. After battling through the hazardous final section of the game, you’ll have to fight all four bosses again, one after the other, with no health items or reprieve between each bout! While this is easily one of the laziest gameplay mechanics of any game, I actually found the bosses a little easier the second time through, probably because I was more aware of their attack patterns and had a tried-and-tested strategy in mind for beating them. After defeating them all again, you’ll get to take on “Cyber Shredder” in a two-phase boss battle where he gets a whole new health bar after the first round while you get nothing, making for easily the toughest segment of the game. Shredder flies across the screen with a knee attack, levitates overhead and spams a diving kick, throws kicks at you up close, and launches an orb-like projectile that becomes a plume of fire. In the second phase of the fight, these flames are bigger, the Shredder gains an aerial projectile, and his attacks become faster and more aggressive.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Unfortunately, despite being a Metroidvania adventure, Radical Rescue doesn’t offer anything that new in terms of pick-ups and power-ups. Each turtle acts as a power-up in a way, offering new traversal options, but the best you’ll hope for in any tangible way is the odd slice of pizza dropped by defeated enemies to refill your health. Two new aspects though, are the ability to pick up and store a whole pizza, which will replenish your health bar when it’s drained (a literal lifesaver in boss rooms) and the ability to permanently extend your health bar by picking up hearts hidden throughout the game.

Additional Features:
Another way Radical Rescue is a bit of a step back is the lack of any in-game options; there are no difficulty settings here, no bonus games, and the only real option available to players is to continue their progress with the password system. When playing the Cowabunga Collection, you’ll net a sweet 70G Achievement for completing the game; you can also check out the game’s box art and manuals, switch between the Japanese and American version, apply various borders and display options (including an LCD display to recreate the feeling of playing on the Game Boy’s eye-watering screen) and make use of a strategy guide for some helpful tips. While the only enhancement on offer is to activate helpful map icons, you can still rewind the game with the Left Bumper and access save states using Right Bumper, both of which are incredibly helpful during the game’s trickier platforming and boss sections.

The Summary:
I was completely caught off-guard by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue; I was not expecting it to be this sprawling Metroidvania-style game and it took me some time to come to terms with the dramatic genre shift compared to the more action-oriented TMNT games I’ve played. That’s not to say there’s a lack of combat here; you’ll still be busting plenty of heads, but the emphasis is much more on exploration, back-tracking, and thinking about how to get past obstacles and progress to new areas. In some ways, this is much appreciated; the game is surprisingly big, definitely offers something different from the TMNT’s usual games, and I liked that the TMNT each had their own abilities to help differentiate them. While I appreciate that it’s offering something different, it’s pretty tough to find your way around the repetitive environments and I’m unimpressed by the mine setting, as large as it is. There was also little incentive for me to switch between turtles, the bosses were unnecessarily troublesome at times, the inclusion of a boss rush was beyond lazy, and I don’t think the enemies, environments, or bosses really captured the depth of the TMNT license. Still, the gameplay wasn’t bad and it’s clear that Konami had finally come to grips with the Game Boy’s capabilities by this point so it’s probably worth another go-around as long as you play this version of the game, with all the handy features to get around its more frustrating aspects.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

Did you have Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue in your Game Boy library back in the day? What did you think to genre shift towards exploration and Metroidvania mechanics? Which character’s ability was your favourite and which one did you play as the most? What did you think the the game’s presentation and the boss battles? What’s your favourite Metroidvania title? Whatever you think about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Radical Rescue, feel free to share them in the comments below or leave your thoughts on my social media.

Movie Night: Dragonball Evolution

08/05/202306/05/2024Dr. KLeave a comment

Released: 10 April 2009
Director: James Wong
Distributor: 20^th Century Fox
Budget: $30 million
Stars: Justin Chatwin, Emmy Rossum, Chow Yun-fat, Jamie Chung, Joon Park, and James Marsters

The Plot:
After breaking free from two-thousand years of imprisonment, Lord Piccolo (Marsters) begins scouring the world for the seven legendary Dragonballs, which he intends to gather to summon a magical dragon and gain immortality. After his beloved grandfather is killed protecting the four-star Dragonball, young outcast and martial arts prodigy Son Goku (Chatwin) teams up with a head-strong inventor Doctor Bulma Briefs (Rossum) and eccentric martial arts master Muten Roshi (Yung-fat) to track down the Dragonballs and avert word-wide disaster!

The Background:
I might be a day early for “Piccolo Day” (or “Goku Day” if you prefer) but I’m never one to pass up a good excuse to celebrate all things Dragon Ball, which debuted in the pages of Weekly Shōnen Jump back in 1984. The creation of writer and artist Akira Toriyama, Dragon Ball originally borrowing many elements from Journey to the West (Cheng’en, 1592) before delving into a far more science-fiction-orientated approach with is successor series, Dragonball Z, which would come to define the entire franchise in popular, mainstream media. Dragonball Z was first licensed by Funimation in 1996; despite the omission of its often graphic and violent content, Dragonball Z was a massively popular anime and even led to several feature-length animated films, though these were generally produced without Toriyama’s direct involvement and often failed to align with established canon as a result. Development of a live-action Dragon Ball movie can be traced back to 1995, when noted Hong Kong action star Jackie Chan expressed an interest in taking on the iconic role of Son Goku; Toriyama himself would late state that Chan would have been his choice for the role if the actor was younger, but development of a live-action adaptation wouldn’t properly get underway until 2002, when 20^th Century Fox acquired the rights and set to work developing a script and finding a director. In the end, it was youngster Justin Chatwin who won the lead role, and the production was forever condemned for “white-washing” as a result. James Marsters took on the role of the film’s antagonist, Lord Piccolo, and was particularly enthusiastic about the project given his love for the anime, though both he and co-star Cow Yun-fat were unimpressed to find they’d been duped into thinking the project had a higher budget and that director Stephen Chow would be in charge of the film. Dragonball Evolution’s $58.2 million worldwide gross meant it was a box office bomb, and the reviews were scathing across the board as critics bemoaned the lacklustre story and characterisations, its lack of fidelity to the source material, and it was slammed as being a surreal mess full of poor special effects and overacting; even Toriyama was disappointed by the adaptation, and plans for a number of sequels were subsequently cancelled.

The Review:
I was a bit late to the Dragonball Z party as a kid since it took me a while to be able to watch it (satellite television isn’t cheap when you’re income is low), but I’ve been a long-time fan since I was a teenager and the idea of a live-action adaptation was quite exciting. However, right off the bat, I (and the wider audiences) were having to temper our expectations; many of us in the West grew up watching Dragonball Z and, arguably, that’s still the most popular iteration of Toriyama’s long-running franchise, but it wouldn’t make a huge amount of sense to do a big screen movie that skips of Goku’s time as a youth and establishing the fantasy world he lives in, so right away the idea was that we’d have to get through an “origin” story before we started to see Super Saiyans and alien, technological, and God-like beings challenging our heroes. I get the idea in principal but there is a counter argument to that thinking: start with Goku as a young twenty-something and do a truncated version of the Saiyan Saga since that’s what many people wanted to see and, if it’s successful, you can maybe do a prequel later down the line. Instead, though, Dragonball Evolution opted to focus more on reconfiguring the lesser-known Dragon Ball anime for its story, specifically elements of the Emperor Pilaf, Tournament, and Piccolo Sagas…which is pretty convenient for me since I’m much more familiar than the start and end of Goku’s childhood journey than the middle parts. Like all great movies, Dragonball Evolution opens with an opening narration that tells the legend of a maniacal tyrant known as Lord Piccolo, who terrorised the world alongside his monstrous minion, Ōzaru, before finally being sealed away using the mysterious “Mafuba” enchantment. Thankfully, Goku is only too aware of the Piccolo/Ōzaru legend thanks to the wise and benevolent teachings of his beloved grandfather, Gohan (Randall Duk Kim).

*Despite his grandfather’s best efforts, Goku just wants to fit in and be able to talk to girls.*

Unlike in the manga and anime, Goku has lived only a semi-sheltered life; he essentially lives out in the countryside, not far from the main city, and has been taught martial arts, legendary scripture, and the basics of ki by his elderly grandfather, a playful and mischievous old man who delights in sparring with his grandson in frankly ludicrous displays of green screen and “wire-fu”. Although Goku is a formidable opponent, Gohan emphasises that he relies far too much on his senses rather than the strength within him; Goku’s difficulty at mastering his ki to perform air-bending techniques is a recurring element in the film and part of his larger character arc of realising the true potential that dwells within him and turning it towards good. Sadly, however, Justin Chatwin isn’t really that great of a fit for Goku; he’s got the youthful charm, for sure, but lacks the physical stature and believability to really fill out the role. Not only that but he’s really not that great an actor; some of his line deliveries are embarrassingly cheesy and not in a good way. It’s strange as he does a decent job of conveying Goku’s frustrations and social awkwardness, but whenever he has to be “serious” he stumbles quite noticeably, making for an inconsistent and disappointing depiction of the goofy Saiyan fighter. Still, Goku is depicted as overtly superhuman, easily able to dodge and subdue even multiple opponents at once without even throwing a punch. However, he’s also as an outcast and, while grateful for his grandfather’s teachings, he longs to be accepted by his peers and to get the girl; in this case, the cute and attractive Chi-Chi (Chung). Although Chi-Chi has apparently been claimed by Goku’s long-time tormentor, Carey Fuller (Texas Battle), Goku is besotted by her but even more stunned to learn that she knows about ki. Clearing interested in him, she’s sympathetic to the abuse he suffers in school and invites him to her house party, which means he isn’t there when Piccolo comes calling for the Dragon Ball and kills Gohan. Chi-Chi continues to be full of surprises when Goku and his allies travel to the Stone Temple, only to find it a training ground for the fights of the World Martial Arts Tournament; there, Goku learns that Chi-Chi is actually an admirable fighter in her own right, with designs on taking part in the tournament, and the two grow close when she helps him to focus his ki. As the battle to recover the Dragon Balls escalates, Chi-Chi gets to show off some of her fighting prowess, but ultimately end sup the victim of Piccolo’s machinations when his shapeshifting ninja-like henchwoman, Mai (Eriko Tamura), assumes her form in order to get closer to Goku and steal his Dragon Balls.

*Bulma and Yamcha are two of the film’s few high points but even they can’t save it from mediocrity.*

Although Gohan told Goku that gathering all seven Dragon Balls will summon the mighty dragon Shenron and grant “one perfect wish”, it seems he didn’t fully believe this story, or the threat of the Nameks, until Piccolo kills his grandfather. Although devastated by this loss, Goku vows to protect his grandfather’s Four-Star Dragon Ball from falling into the wrong hands, which causes him to form an unlikely alliance with the headstrong Bulma, who attacks Goku after thinking he stole her Five-Star “Promethium Orb”. Although she has her Dragon Radar, Bulma is smart enough to agree that she needs backup and agrees to help Goku find Gohan’s old friend and master, Roshi, but holds Goku to his promise to help her locate her missing Dragon Ball. Bulma’s technology is essential to their group’s quest; not only can she locate Dragon Balls with her radar, but she has the vehicles to transport them vast distances and can even hold her own thanks to her pistol. While she is unimpressed with Roshi’s lewd attempts to get close to her, she attempts to charm Yamcha (Park) into helping them out when they crash into a whole, only to be spurned since the desert bandit set the trap specifically to try and rob them. A selfish, arrogant thief, Yamcha is initially dismissive of Roshi’s (literal) campfire tales about the coming danger but is convinced to help them out first by being impressed with Roshi’s incredible physical prowess and then by the promise of payment. I can’t explain why, but Yamcha is one of my favourite non-Saiyan characters from the anime and, while Joon park certainly doesn’t look anything like the character, he brings a certain appealing energy to the role that, while bordering on the ludicrous, makes him a far more charismatic character than Goku. Bulma and Yamcha remain the standout characters for me, and not just because I have an unapologetic crush on Emmy Rossum or a bias towards Yamcha; they have a decent amount on onscreen chemistry (certainly more then Chatwin and Chung, despite the latter’s best efforts), capture the spirit of the characters pretty well, and I even appreciate the little blue streak in Bulma’s hair as a nod to the source material.

*Roshi endeavors to teach Goku to harness his* ki, a technique markedly different in this adaptation.

Another relatively faithful highlight is Master Roshi; although he lacks the character’s trademark bald head, sunglasses, and beard, he at least wears the same loud Hawaiian shirts and exhibits a lewd, playful personality. An aloof and unusual master of the martial arts, Roshi is only too familiar with the threat posed by Piccolo and Ōzaru, which heralds the coming of the apocalypse. Distraught to learn of Gohan’s death and Piccolo’s return, Roshi insists on coming along and teaching Goku how to refine his ki: this involves forcing him to run through the desert carrying all of their supplies, performing one-handed headstands, and learning to master two things at once. While he’s definitely an oddball character, Roshi is dead serious about the threat posed by Piccolo and Ōzaru and can effortlessly hold his own in most fights; however, his primary purpose is delivering exposition regarding the Mafuba (which claims the lives of those who use it) and training Goku to harness his ki and learn the most powerful of all air-bending techniques, the Kamehameha Wave. It’s interesting that the depiction of ki is quite different here than in the source material; it’s more akin to what is seen in Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005 to 2008) in that characters are manipulating elements using their inner energy rather than literally channelling that energy into destructive attacks, and I’m not entirely sure why the change was made beyond a cursory implication that Piccolo favours for fire-based energy attacks since his attacks are often depicted in red. While Roshi pushed Goku’s strength and skills to the limits through rigorous and unorthodox training methods in the source material, it’s only through the encouragement (and the incentive of a kiss) from Chi-Chi that Goku is able to pull off the Kamehameha for the first time here. Fully aware that Goku won’t be ready to face Piccolo in time, Roshi turns to Sifu Norris (Ernie Hudson) to prepare the Mafuba once more, fully prepared to sacrifice himself to save the world from destruction.

*It’s pretty sad to see one of Goku’s fiercest rivals and foes reduced to a one-dimensional villain.*

Another commendable aspect of Dragonball Evolution has to be James Marsters as Lord Piccolo; released from his confinement offscreen by Mai, Piccolo is a grim and ruthless individual who has no compunction about raising entire villages to smouldering ruins in his search for the Dragon Balls. Regal and menacing in his posture, Piccolo is a villain of few words and even few wasted movements; he sees all life as beneath him and wants nothing more than to enact a merciless revenge upon the world that imprisoned him for so long, and personally crushes Goku’s home using his immense power, killing Gohan in the process and thus making their antagonism very personal. Piccolo is a fearsome opponent; not only can he lay waste to entire areas and dry up bodies of water in a single blast, but his blood can also spawn monstrous minions to cause minor inconveniences to the protagonists. Indeed, Piccolo spends the majority of his time just posturing and floating around seemingly in no hurry to find the seven Dragon Balls despite literally being on a deadline. Although he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty in the search, he continuously leaves Mai to screw around impersonating Chi-Chi to steal the heroes’ Dragon Balls rather than simply take them by force like he did the others and wastes his time delivering villainous monologues rather than just bringing forth the dragon when he has the chance. He literally jumps at the chance to lord himself over Goku, especially after he’s transformed into Ōzaru, and prioritises fighting with the boy rather than locating the scattered Dragon Balls. Ultimately, Piccolo lacks any of the menace or subtle nuance of either his father or his more well-known son/reincarnation; he’s ridiculously one-dimensional, being “bad” for the sake of it, and is defeated with depressing ease when all’s said and done. While Marsters may have hoped to return and do the character justice in future sequels, and Piccolo is shown to have survived, it’s difficult to envision this version of the character ever being more than a one-note kids’ villain in a regrettably poor adaptation.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Although Dragonball Evolution appears to take place in our world, or at least the near future, it’s actually surprisingly faithful to the source material in a lot of ways. Sure, there’s no anthropomorphic characters and a lot of the more fantastical elements are excised or subdued, but there’s a decent attempt to including such concepts as the Capsule Corporation’s wearable technology, Piccolo travels the world in a futuristic and elaborate airship, and Bulma not only carries her trusty Dragon Radar but also rides a bike not a million miles away from her manga counterpart. Characterisations are far more on point than some people give credit for, too; sure, this “teen” version of Goku has a bit more in common with his teenaged son, who also struggled a bit to fit in at high school, but Goku has the same voracious appetite and aptitude for martial arts in the source material and is just as wide-eyed and naïve in a lot of ways (although here that’s reconfigured as a shy awkwardness around Chi-Chi rather than a general naivety towards life outside of his sheltered upbringing. Bulma is pretty on point as well; she’s as stubborn and forthright as in the source material, but also far more independent and capable. She’s searching for the Dragon Balls to use them as an unlimited energy source for the world rather than to wish for a boyfriend, is nowhere near as objectified or insufferable, and actually proves to be a valuable asset to the quest.

*Despite some half-hearted attempts, the film fails to capture the fun and action of the source material.*

There are a few other notable allusions to the source material as well: Goku can sense ki, which alerts him to his grandfather’s death; he also takes up Gohan’s bō staff (a far more grounded interpretation of the extendable Power Pole Goku wielded as a child in the source material), and eventually dons a keikogi that’s admirably faithful to his traditional attire. While Master Roshi doesn’t live on a small island in the middle of nowhere, his house is on an isolated “island” of sorts in Paozu City and he’s just as excitable and inappropriate as his admittedly more iconic counterpart. While Piccolo is freely identified as a Namek rather than a demonic entity as was originally implied in his first appearances, there’s a definite sense of otherworldliness to him that hints at threats from beyond the stars; however, one of the most interesting alterations to the established Dragon Ball lore is the depiction of the Great Ape, Ōzaru. Here, Goku is able to look at a full moon without fear (potentially because of his lack of a Saiyan tail), but the impending solar eclipse triggers his transformation into a much smaller version of the iconic monster, one far closer to the Wolfman than King Kong. While the film presents Ōzaru as being a destructive monster sent to destroy the world, it also positions the creature as another of Piccolo’s henchmen in a bit of a bizarre and confusing alteration; the film’s rushed and ugly finale attempts to present a version of the usual story surrounding the Great Ape (that the Saiyan loses control of their senses and must be subdued or calmed down to stop their rampage) by indicating that Goku’s memories of his grandfather and friends allows him to master Ōzaru’s power, and thus gain mastery of his ki, but it’s a bit of a messy execution and I honestly think the film (and the effects budget) would have been better off just omitting Ōzaru entirely.

*Despite some fun references to the source material, the film’s fights and CGI really let it down.*

These references are tenuous at best, however, and amount to little more than Easter Eggs; Dragonball Evolution thus ends up being an adaptation that tries far too hard todumb down or omit the more fantastical elements of its source material and simply drop in a few sly winks and nods for the knowing audience. This probably wouldn’t be so bad if the film made up for it with some thrilling and visually interesting fight sequences but, sadly, there’s a disappointing lack of actual martial arts in the film. The opening sparring match between Goku and Gohan, while fun, is hardly what you’d call ground-breaking fight choreography; Dragonball Evolution takes its cue very much from films like Bulletproof Monk (Hunter, 2003) for the depiction of its martial arts, emphasising unnatural camera angles, quick cuts, and a light-hearted bending of the laws of physics. There’s a very “floaty” feeling to all the moves that means characters bend and twist and flip in ways that go against everything you’d expect in the natural world and, while this is a sour point for fans of more traditional or visually interesting martial arts films, it does fit rather well with Dragon Ball’s whimsical and over the top nature. The franchise has never really been one for realism; characters routinely float, fly, teleport, and perform superhuman feats that have no basis in reality, and Dragonball Evolution is clearly made for a younger audience who aren’t expecting long, continuous, brutal sequences like those of Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (Pinkaew, 2003), so I don’t begrudge the film for utilising such a farfetched visual direction for its fight scenes. Still, having said that, the film really falls off a cliff around hallway through when the characters inexplicably tunnel through the dirt in the arid wastelands and find themselves at a raging volcano! While I applaud the use of practical effects to render Piccolo’s rock-like henchmen, they’re dispatched with ridiculous ease and the editing is almost as bad as the green screen.

*Embarrassingly bad special effects bring this laughable effort to a merciful end.*

Things only get uglier and when the film reaches what is supposed to be a dramatic conclusion and instead becomes a disappointingly underwhelming light show where the actors are clearly flailing around on a green screen and throwing poorly rendered blasts of light at each other. It gets even worse when Goku transforms into Ōzaru; thanks to fan backlash regarding the creature’s initial design, which seemed far more practical despite looking nothing like an ape, Ōzaru is rendered as a monstrously ugly CGI creature that stands out like a sore thumb even amidst the shoddy computer-generated landscape. To the film’s credit, it at least attempts to recreate the kinetic battles from the anime, some of the camera shots even evoke those from the source material and Piccolo and Goku certain throw their fair share of energy blasts at each other, but by this point it all just looks like a bad videogame. It’s amazing to me how, in a post-Matrix (Wachowski Brothers, 1999) world, Dragonball Evolution fails to even remotely capture the tangible thrill of two hated rivals exchanging blows in mid-air and crashing through rocks. Obviously, The Matrix Revolutions (ibid, 2003) had a much higher budget than this dreck of a film but it also came out six years previously and you’d think that even a throwaway kids’ movie like this would be able to learn something from its approach. While I appreciate the attempt to try and recreate Lord Piccolo’s death from the source material, the scene of Goku channelling the Kamehameha and Ōzaru’s energy into himself to launch his final attack at his foe is laughably awful and looks more like a bad fan film than a big-budget release. Even more incredible is that Goku wastes his one wish on resurrecting Roshi (why not wish for all lives lost at Piccolo’s hands to be restored, thus returning Gohan and all those senseless killed by Piccolo to life?) and that the film ends with sequel bait!

The Summary:
I was actually quite sympathetic towards Dragonball Evolution when I first saw it at the cinema. I enjoyed Bulletproof Monk for what it was and the similarities between the two films, and the references to the source material, were enough for me to consider it a decent enough kids’ movie that tries its best to capture some of the spirit of Dragon Ball. But, over time, those positives have dulled and this has become nothing less than a painful chore to sit through. It’s pretty amazing how awful this film is when you consider that Casshern (Kiriya, 2004) released about five years before this and did a far better job of crafting a live-action anime on a far smaller budget. It’s not as if Dragonball Evolution is elevated by the quality of its cast; Emmy Rossum and Joon Park aside, the film is full of inconsistent, lacklustre, and over the top performances that only serve to give it a mixed tone. If it had fully committed to being an action/comedy or a fantastical martial arts tale, maybe it would have landed better but it’s just all over the place and it’s difficult to really care about the stakes as a result. Dragon Ball often has its whimsical and comedic elements but, when the battle for the world starts, things usually always get pretty serious but, here, they just become an unimpressive and ugly CGI light show that makes everyone look like a complete fool as they scream against a green screen and are awkwardly jerked around in the air in a poor attempt at recreating the intensity of the anime. I definitely feel like there’s potential for a live-action Dragon Ball, but this reeks of corporate mandates and just comes across as a cheap cash grab that tries to pay homage to the source material but ultimately fails to appeal to fans of the franchise by dumbing everything down to the point of insult.

My Rating:

Terrible

What did you think to Dragonball Evolution? Were you a fan of Justin Chatwin’s portrayal of Goku? Which of the characters was your favourite? What did you think to the changes made to the source material? Were you also put off by the muddled tone and poor special effects? Would you like to see another live-action Dragon Ball some time? How are you celebrating Dragon Ball day today? Whatever your thoughts on Dragonball Evolution, or Dragon Ball in general, sign up to leave them below or feel free to leave a comment on my social media.

Back Issues [HulkaMAYnia]: Tales to Astonish #90/91

07/05/202301/10/2024Dr. K3 Comments

**Writer:** Stan Lee – **Artist:** Bill Everett

Story Title: “The Abomination!”
Published: 10 January 1967 (cover-dated April 1967)

Story Title: “Whosoever Harms the Hulk…!”
Published: 14 February 1967 (cover-dated May 1967)

The Background:
Created by Marvel legends Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Doctor Robert Bruce Banner’s monstrous alter ego, the Incredible Hulk, was inspired by the story of a hysterical mother using superhuman strength to rescue her child and classic screen monsters Frankenstein’s Monster and Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde. Initially debuting as a stone-grey figure, the character soon gained his trademark green hue and became a fixture of Marvel Comics thanks to expansions of his lore and character and the popularity of the live-action television series. Stan Lee also had a hand in creating some of the Hulk’s most memorable enemies; having birthed the Hulk’s intellectual superior, Samuel Sterns/The Leader, alongside Steve Ditko about three years prior, Lee and artist Gil Kane introduced Marvel readers to one of the Hulk’s most persistent physical rivals, Emil Blonsky/The Abomination, in this two-part tale. Lee came up with monster’s unique name and reportedly instructed Kane to make the Abomination bigger and stronger than the Hulk to make for some fun conflicts. Over the years, the Abomination has been through almost as many changes as his lifelong rival, being a savage brute, a schemer, and a figure of redemption. His impact on the Hulk’s life has been so influential that he’s featured in numerous Marvel cartoons; although he made his live-action debut in the unfairly overlooked The Incredible Hulk (Leterrier, 2008), it would be some thirteen years before he would return to the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The Review:
Our story begins with the Green Goliath embarking on an unstoppable rampage thanks to the manipulations of a cosmic being I’m personally unfamiliar with but who calls himself “The Stranger”; believing that humanity is a blight that needs to be eradicated, the Stranger has set the Hulk to work wiping the planet clean of humankind’s influence, and the Hulk is only too happy to give in to his anger. Already harbouring a resentment and animosity towards the “puny humans” who hate and fear him, the Hulk wrecks a suspension bridge and prepares to lay waste to a missile base when he’s suddenly hit with an intense pain in his head that not only causes him to fall, but also triggers his transformation back into cursed Gamma scientist Bruce Banner. This has the knock-on effect of severing the Stranger’s mind control, but Banner is terrified at the prospect of the Hulk resurfacing and continuing the Stranger’s work and resolve to destroy the Hulk (and himself, if necessary) once and for all using the “Gamma Ray Machine” he created and which just so happens to be at the very base he’s found himself at.

*While Banner broods and Ross blusters, a foreign* *agent undergoes an incredible transformation!*

Nearby, the cantankerous General Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross is determined to root out the man behind a recent assassination attempt on his daughter (and Banner’s flame), Betty Ross; also Major Glen Talbot assures Ross that it’s just a matter of time before the foreign agent is discovered, Ross explodes in anger and demands that they find the perpetrator before they can endanger the missile, giving his men orders to shoot to kill if necessary. Betty is distraught that there’s been no word from Banner for some days and fears for his life as long as he shares a body with the Hulk; she’s so devastated at the idea of losing him that she pays no mind to Talbot’s attempts to insert himself in Banner’s place. Meanwhile, in Banner’s lab, Ross’s spy (whom we know as Emil Blonsky but who isn’t named in this story), is snooping around in the guise of a soldier and trying to snap pictures of Banner’s vaulted Gamma Ray Machine. Although Banner returns at that very same moment, intending to use the machine on himself, he’s spotted and arrested by military police and the smug Talbot, who refuses to listen to his pleas. Amused by the turn of events, Blonsky comes out of hiding and investigates the machine, activating it out of sheer curiosity and bathing himself in an intense dose of Gamma radiation. The result is his instantaneous transformation into a hulking, green-skinned, lizard-like monstrosity; thanks to stepping out of the Gamma rays early, this Abomination is able to retain his intellect and revels in his newfound super strength, which he believes will make him “master of the world–of the whole universe!!” and promptly destroys the machine so that none will challenge his invincibility.

*The Hulk is overwhelmed by the superior strength and intellect of his newest foe.*

The Abomination’s subsequent rampage through the base catches the eye of the imprisoned Banner, who willingly transforms into the Hulk as only his alter ego has a chance of opposing this new Gamma monster. Ripping open his cell, the Hulk leaps into the fray but quickly finds that the Abomination is not only smarter thanks to not being a mindless brute, but also more powerful as he was conveniently subjected to a more powerful dose of Gamma radiation. Consequently, Ross, Talbot, and Betty can only watch on in horror as the Abomination asserts his dominance and brutally beats the Hulk into unconsciousness, clearly establishing himself as a formidable threat, and that Blonsky is oddly concerned that he wouldn’t survive the military’s counterattack so he kidnaps Betty and flees from the base. Driven to desperation by the events he’s witnessed, Ross has no choice but to order his physicians to try and save the Hulk’s life; while the surgeon is initially baffled by the half-dead creature’s physiology, perennial sidekick Rick Jones bursts into the facility to suggest using Gamma electrodes to revive the beast and, in panels that owe more than a debt to Frankenstein (Whale, 1931), the Hulk lives again! Believing the soldiers are trying to contain him, the Hulk refuses to listen to reason and even swats Rick aside, vehemently denying his tearful pleas for help, until the mention of Betty’s name causes him to calm down and revert back to Bruce Banner.

*Although Banner devises a workable plan, the monster’s rematch is abruptly interrupted.*

Cutting through Ross’s bluster and inconsolable babble and prejudice, Banner comes up with a plan to lure the Abomination back to them, rather than confront his great power directly, and reconfigure his “Infinite Weapon” to nullify Blonsky’s strength with “Infra-Gamma Beams”. Begrudgingly, Ross orders his technicians and soldiers to follow Banner’s every command as they race to perform the necessary adjustments, and the Abomination willingly returns to the site, drawn by the allure of the Gamma radiation, though everyone, even Rick, is unsure as to how Banner plans to oppose such a fearsome monstrosity. The Abomination bursts into the laboratory, setting down Betty and preparing to finish off Banner, but is surprised when the machine causes him incredible pain and saps his mighty strength. It’s at this key moment that Banner uncontrollable turns into the Hulk and the two Gamma Giants set about having a rematch. Although they bash each other through walls and promise to really go at each other, the Stranger chooses this moment to return to the story; watching from “a thousand galaxies away”, he begins to consider that humanity might not be beyond all hope if a brute such as the Hulk can be so valorous and chooses to take the Abomination for his own needs. He also completely removes the influence he had over the Hulk’s mind but, while he’s met with congratulations and a semblance of gratitude from even General Ross, the Hulk chooses to head back out into the world alone once more.

The Summary:
The Abomination’s debut is much more the type of Hulk story I’m used to; by this point, Bruce Banner’s dual identity is well known and his adventures follow a very simple formula of him wandering around the country, desperately trying to avoid conflict, all while the Hulk threatens anyone and everyone around him and lashes out at those he deems to be a threat. Unfortunately, I didn’t think much to Gil Kane’s artwork, especially on the Abomination and the Hulk’s face, both of which look to little too simplistic and goofy for my tastes. I did enjoy the twist of the normally unreasonably antagonistic General Ross absolutely snapping when the Abomination kidnaps Betty; he’s so traumatised by this that he’s forced to not only rely on the Hulk and Banner for help, but even revive the Green Goliath and order his men to follow Banner’s every instruction. It’s an interesting twist on his usually staunchly anti-Hulk/Banner mindset, kind of like whenever J. Jonah Jameson is forced to eat crow, though I was interested to see that Major Talbot was actually arguing in favour of Ross’s hated enemy on more than one occasion. Similarly, I liked that Banner got to do a little more than just wallow in despair and self-pity; he puts his genius mind to work creating a trap to lure in the Abomination and sap his strength, though it was a little too contrived that all of Banner’s machinery and work just happened to be at this military base. The Hulk is pretty much exactly as he’s always presented, with the added wrinkle that he’s suffering from the influence of the Stranger; this doesn’t really seem to change his character all that much, however, as it’s hardly an uncommon occurrence to see the Hulk going on an all-out rampage for the smallest of reasons.

*The Abomination’s strength is so great that it takes brains, not brawn, to challenge him.*

This is potentially the first time that the Hulk has ever faced a foe as physically imposing as him, however; he fought Groot (no, not that one) a few years earlier but as far as I can tell most of his more monstrous foes made their first appearances after this story. Consequently, the Abomination makes quite the impact; not only does he retain his intelligence, allowing him to out-think the Hulk, but he’s portrayed as being significantly more powerful, knocking the Hulk out and beating him almost to the point of death in their first encounter. However, the praise kind of stops there; the explanations behind Blonsky’s retained intelligence and greater strength and paper thin and it’s really weird that he would choose to flee after besting the Hulk as he would surely have even less reason to fear the military’s weapons than the Green Goliath. The Abomination’s greater intelligence also doesn’t really translate into any kind of impressive strategy either; immediately drunk on his newfound power, Blonsky sets his goals as lofty as conquering the entire universe, than smashes the place up a bit, and then resorts to kidnapping Betty. He doesn’t even use her as a means to give the Hulk pause to attack and abandons her the moment he arrives back at the base, but worst of all is the fact that this Stranger’s intervention cuts short his rematch with the Hulk simply to keep the Abomination’s threat unchallenged. Overall, this wasn’t a bad two-part story but it definitely wasted its potential; there was so much that could’ve been done with the duality of these monsters, the twist of Ross having to rely on his enemy, and seeing the Hulk and the Abomination tera up the base of the countryside but the story instead plays it very safe and simply hands the Hulk a decisive loss and has his newest (and presumable most powerful) villain left out in the world (well, cosmos) to no doubt hound him again at some point.

My Rating:

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy the Abomination’s debut? Did you read it when it was first published and, if so, how did you think the Abomination compared to other Hulk villains? What did you think to the idea that the Abomination was not only smarter but stronger than the Hulk? Would you have liked to see a proper rematch between the two in the second part? What are some of your favourite fights or moments between the Hulk and the Abomination? Who is your favourite Hulk villain? Whatever you thoughts on the Abomination (and the Hulk), feel free to share them below or leave a comment on my social media and be sure to check in again next Sunday for more Hulk action!

Movie Night [May the Sith]: Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens

06/05/202304/11/2025Dr. K3 Comments

While May 4^th is known the world over as Star Wars Day, many also choose to extend the celebrations of the course of three days, with one of them being the “Evil Star Wars Day” of May 6^th (as in “Sith”). This year, I’ve been using the three Star Wars Days as the perfect excuse to go plug a few holes in my Star Wars reviews.

Released: 18 December 2015
Director: J. J. Abrams
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment
Budget: $259 to 306 million
Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford

The Plot:
Thirty years after the Galactic Empire was defeated, the “First Order” constructs a devastating, planet-sized superweapon to decimate the New Republic. The galaxy’s only hope is Rey (Ridley), reformed First Order Stormtrooper Finn (Boyega), and crack Resistance pilot Poe Dameron (Isaac), who search for a long-lost map to reclusive and disgraced Jedi Master Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) while being hounded by the First Order’s malevolent and brutal enforcer, Kylo Ren (Driver).

The Background:
It’s safe to say that the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy struggled to live up to the lofty expectations set by George Lucas’ original three Star Wars films; although relatively profitable ventures, the films were divisive, to say the least, and lead to one of the most beloved spin-offs in the franchise, Lucas was so burned by the experiences and backlash that he refused to make any further films. In 2012, Lucas sold his lucrative franchise to Disney for $4 billion and they immediately set about developing a series of spin-off feature films to further flesh out the Star Wars saga, spearheaded by a long-awaited seventh entry in the space opera saga. Although he consulted with Lucasfilm’s new president, Kathleen Kennedy, on story ideas for their new trilogy, he was hurt when they discarded his input and proceeded without him, bringing in J. J. Abrams to direct, contribute to the script, and help lay plans for the trilogy. In addition to bringing back as many names from the Original Trilogy as possible, Abrams brought in fresh, young, up-and-coming faces to be part of his new film, which relied just as much on practical effects as it did CGI to evoke the spirit of the films that started it all. Naturally, anticipation was high after even the most basic of teaser trailers, and the film’s $2.068 billion worldwide box office made it the highest-grossing film of 2015. The film was also met with overwhelmingly positive reviews; critics praised the film as a return to form for the franchise, the balance between nostalgia and new content, and even heralded it as the best Star Wars film since the Original Trilogy. Others, including Lucas, found it somewhat derivative, but Disney ploughed onwards with their Star Wars plans, for better or worse, regardless, producing two additional sequels as well as new videogames and spin-off movies to turn a profit from their acquisition.

The Review:
I’d like to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat: I’m a big Star Wars fan. Growing up, the franchise was something of an elusive enigma for me; my friends were huge fans, we all played the games and enjoyed the Expanded Universe novels, but actually watching the Original Trilogy was pretty difficult in the mid-nineties. Even when then the remastered versions were released, it wasn’t exactly cheap to buy or rent them, so expectations were pretty high for the Prequel Trilogy. Sadly, they largely killed off a lot of the excitement I had for the franchise; they screwed up or outright erased the Expanded Universe novels, replaced fun space adventure and action with wooden performances and dull subplots, and generally failed to meet the standards of the Original Trilogy. I was therefore glad when it seemed like we wouldn’t get any more Star Wars films, and extremely pessimistic when Disney announced the production of a new Sequel Trilogy. I found the first teaser trailer incredibly underwhelming as it showcased basically nothing except another desert planet and the return of fan favourites Han Solo (Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew/Joonas /Ian Whyte), and I was more than a little annoyed that the new films wouldn’t be drawing inspiration from what I still consider to be the “real” Sequel Trilogy, Timothy Zane’s Thrawn books (1991 to 1993). However, the secrecy surrounding the film had me intrigued and I was excited at the prospect of seeing how the Star Wars universe had changed thirty years after the Rebellion defeated the evil Galactic Empire. Sadly, The Force Awakens gets off to a bad start right from the opening crawl: Luke’s disappeared and, without him, there’s apparently nobody to oppose the uprising of the First Order. Consequently, Princess Leia Organa (Fisher), now a General in the New Republic’s Resistance movement comprised of new allies and former Rebels, sends her best pilot, Poe, to meet her old ally, the hitherto-unknown Lor San Tekka (Max von Sydow in a completely throwaway role), to get information on Luke’s whereabouts to help turn the tide.

*While the Jedi may have become myth, Poe is determined to oppose the First Order with the Resistance.*

So, immediately, there’s a sense that everything that’s old is new again; I honestly thought this film would be a chance to see the roles reversed a bit and have the remnants of the Empire be reduced to a rag-tag group of ships and terrorists trying to strike back against the overwhelming benevolence of the New Republic but, instead, the Empire is essentially back in the First Order, which is somehow so powerful that it threatens the entire New Republic! Not only that, but Luke is gone, despite Mark Hamill being so prominent in all the promotional materials for the film, and his absence is another in a long list of misguided decisions by the filmmakers in this film and its sequels. One thing I found particularly aggravating was just how quickly everyone forgot important concepts like the Jedi and influential people like Luke Skywalker. Just like at the beginning of Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope (Lucas, 1977), the Jedi are all but extinct and they, and even Luke, have passed into myth because, apparently, thirty years is enough time for people to forget anything. However, I think a lot of people miss that it’s only been two years since Ben Solo sacked the Jedi Temple and drove Luke into exile. While I can understand someone like Rey, who lives a remote and isolated life, thinking Luke was only a myth, this seems to be the prevailing thought amongst many of the side characters and there’s a definite sense that Luke’s been missing for far longer than he actually has. One decision I do agree with, however, is the introduction of fresh, new blood to the franchise and I have absolutely no issue with having new protagonists take centre stage as it brings us such brilliant characters as Poe Dameron, a hot-shot Resistance pilot who is both completely loyal to the ideals of the New Republic but also somewhat reckless out in the field. Still, he’s not an idiot; when Kylo Ren slaughters Lor San Tekka and his villagers on Jakku, Poe is smart enough to leave the map he received from Lor with his trusty droid companion, BB-8 (Bill Hader and Ben Schwartz), but feisty enough to backtalk Kylo Ren (he even takes a shot at him in a failed attempt to save Lor’s life) even when he’s painfully left at the dark tyrant’s mercy. Poe’s reputation as the best fighter pilot in the Resistance proceeds him, and even Kylo Ren is impressed by Poe’s resilience; this, alongside his skills as a pilot and his defiance, is a defining trait of Poe’s but even he’s only able to escape from the First Order’s clutches thanks to morally conflicted Stormtrooper FN-2187. Excited at the prospect of a daring, action-packed escape (and at piloting a TIE Fighter), Poe jumps at the chance and quickly forms a bond with the desperate FN-2187, whom Poe nicknames “Finn”. Although Poe seemingly perishes in their escape attempt, he randomly turns out to be alive later in the film, leading to an emotional reunion on Takodana with his newfound friend, BB-8, and the coming together of our three new protagonists to assault Starkiller Base.

*Though she’s lived a sheltered life, Rey is a gifted pilot, mechanic,* and *a potential Jedi!*

With Poe presumed dead, BB-8 is stumbled upon by scavenger Rey who, at this point, has no idea of her true heritage and believes that she was simply abandoned when she was a child (Cailey Fleming). Rey lives a hard life on the arid sands of Jakku, one that sees her foraging derelicts for meagre portions of food and living a life of solitude in the remains of an All-Terrain Armoured Transport (AT-AT). However, although she longs to journey to the stars, very much like Luke in A New Hope, she’s compelled to stay in the hopes that her parents will return for her. Self-reliant and strong-willed, Rey is something of a savage; she’s naturally paranoid and suspicious of others since she’s clearly spent her whole life fighting for what little food and possessions she has but does have an affinity for droids, which eventually causes her to fall in with Finn when he comes looking for BB-8 to honour Poe’s final wish. This finally gives Rey the opportunity to leave Jakku and she does so in style by piloting the dilapidated Millennium Falcon, which just so happens to not only be on Jakku but also the only ship available to them. Even more conveniently, Rey is not just the jack-of-all-trades but, seemingly, the master of them all; she’s able to speak multiple languages (including “droid speak” and Wookie), can repair, fix, and build machinery, is a naturally gifted pilot, and is also strong in the Force! It’s therefore not surprising that many have labelled her a “Mary Sue” since Rey just seems to magically be able to do everything because the script demands it and is quickly befriended by faces old and new alike. However, I don’t really have that much of a problem with Rey; sure, Daisy Ridley is the weakest of the main three actors for me and I personally found Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) a far more compelling female lead in Disney’s new Star Wars films, but I enjoyed her wide-eyed hero worship of characters like Luke and Han, her feisty independent spirit, and her overall presentation as a lonely young woman trying to find her place in the galaxy and realising that she has far more potential than she ever realised.

*While Finn isn’t the Jedi he seems to be, his moral compass is admirable and BB-8 adds to the charm.*

BB-8 is more than just the newest cutesy mascot for the franchise, it’s a whole character in its own right; since R2-D2 (Jimmy Vee/Kenny Baker) is in standby mode for the majority of the film, and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) is mainly just a glorified cameo who keeps banging on about his red arm (that’s never explained onscreen and disappears by the next film), BB-8 takes centre stage as the main robotic character of The Force Awakens. Despite only communicating in electronic bleeps, it’s absolutely exuding personality; you can tell that it greatly cares for Poe as a friend and is saddened when it thinks he’s died), and is both suspicious and amusingly supportive of Finn when they join forces with Rey. As fantastic as it is to see BB-8 realised as a largely practical effect (I still have no idea how they were able to pull off its rolling movement so seamlessly), it’s a bit odd that many characters understand its “droid speak”, which seems to be a lazy convenience by the writers. This is paralleled by perhaps the most intriguing of the three new protagonists, Finn. Those who have watched Star Wars’ many spin-off media may be familiar with Clone Troopers and Stromtroopers having individual identities and (probably) consciences, but this was the first time we’d seen a Stormtrooper be anything other than a nameless, faceless minion for the heroes to gun down in cold blood. Inducted into the First Order at an early age and forced into war, Finn is no mere pre-programmed clone or mindless soldier; he’s a frightened young man in over his head who is horrified at the merciless slaughter of innocents and the First Order’s oppressive ways. Finn is desperate to escape their wrath but frees Poe not just because he needs a pilot but because it’s the “right thing to do”. This edict guides Finn throughout the remainder of the film; moved by Poe’s apparent demise and trust, Finn takes up not only his newfound friend’s jacket but also his mission to return BB-8 and the map it contains to the Resistance. However, conscious that he will be unfairly judged if he openly admits that he’s a former First Order Stormtrooper, Finn desperately feigns being with the Resistance i to quickly earn Rey and BB-8’s trust, something he’s clearly unhappy about but his absolute terror of the First Order overrides his doubts. He’s seen first-hand what they’re capable of, and what they’re building, and is focused only on getting as far away from them as he can by any means necessary, but is morally unable to simply leave his newfound friends to wage a suicide war against Starkiller Base without his expertise.

*Kylo Ren is a tortured, surprisingly complex, and explosive youth lashing out at everything he sees.*

Another notable aspect of the film is new villain Kylo Ren; played with a magnificent imposing menace by the fantastic Adam Driver, Kylo Ren may look like a cheap knock off of Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones) but that’s actually kind of the point and he’s much more than that. Considering that, beneath the imposing mask, he’s actually Ben Solo, Force-sensitive son of Leia and Han and grandson of Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), it makes sense that he’d model himself after the infamous Sith Lord and the fact that he keeps the shattered remains of Vader’s helmet just goes to show just how twisted his perception of reality is. Kylo Ren makes an immediate impact not just with his emotionless helmet and deep, semi-cybernetic baritone that oozes menace, but also by exhibiting a command over the Dark Side that we haven’t really seen before as he freezes a blaster bolt in mid-air. Kylo Ren showcases a knack for forcibly drawing information from his victims using the Dark Side of the Force, penetrating their mind and feelings in order to both torture and manipulate them and learn what he needs, but he’s also an extremely explosive and unpredictable individual. Originally a Jedi prodigy, he was a student of Luke’s but found himself seemingly betrayed by his master, destroying the Jedi training grounds, and killing all but a few similarly inclined Jedi and recruiting them into his poorly defined “Knights of Ren”. Thanks to the influence of Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis), Ben is turned against his friends and family and assumes the role of “Kylo Ren” but remains a tortured and conflicted young man who lets his anger and insecurities get the best of him. Overwhelmed by these dark feelings, Kylo Ren regularly lashes out in volatile anger when he’s bested and is seemingly driven by an innate desire to destroy all remnants of his past, no matter how badly it pains him to do so.

*Sadly, the film squanders many of the First Order’s more promising elements.*

The First Order is largely comprised of obedient Stormtroopers and extremist military commanders, just like the Empire, but there are a few standouts amongst their ranks: first and foremost is General Hux (Gleeson), the young and cruel-hearted commander of the First Order’s military forces. A proud and stubborn man, Hux believes whole-heartedly in the training standards of his Stormtroopers and the might of his military (he’s particularly proud of his ludicrous planet-destroying Starkiller Base) and delivers rousing speeches of hatred and vitriol in a pretty explicit allusion of Adolf Hitler’s public addresses. General Hux and Kylo Ren have a tumultuous relationship, to say the least, in which they both vie for the attention, and approval, of Supreme Leader Snoke; this means they continually butt heads over the best methods to advance the First Order’s cause and have a professional rivalry that borders on antagonistic since they have little respect or liking for each other. However, all in all, The Force Awakens really squanders some of its new characters; Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) looks visually impressive and intimidating with her striking reflective Stormtrooper armour and blunt commanding voice, but she does literally nothing except exist on the periphery and be easily coerced into helping the heroes infiltrate Starkiller Base. It’s not even more explicit whether she perishes in the planet’s destruction or not, and I have no idea why the filmmakers didn’t have it be her who confronts Finn on Takodana rather than a random Stormtrooper. Perhaps the most glaring and almost insulting inclusion in the film is the First Order’s malformed and malevolent figurehead, Supreme Leader Snoke; seeming to be a mutilated giant thanks to only appearing as an ominous hologram, this poorly-veiled stand-in for the far more enigmatic and memorable Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) irked me no end when I first saw the film and continues to vex me now not just for how poorly his story was cut off at the knees in the subsequent sequels but because he really wasn’t necessary to the films at all. For me, including another wizened, decrepit, malicious Sith Lord just took away from the agency and independence of Kylo Ren’s character. Once again, it was a case of the same old thing as a promising Jedi recruit fell under the sway of a dark influencer and pledged his fealty to this supposedly all-powerful Dark Sider and I just feel like characters like General Hux and Kylo Ren would’ve been stronger without this puppet master looming over them and allowed them, and Captain Phasma, to take the spotlight as the three main figureheads of the First Order.

*The film’s new characters are joined by all the familiar faces, now older but larger in their same roles.*

After escaping Jakku, Rey and Finn conveniently run across old favourites Han Solo and Chewbacca; having lost the Millennium Falcon some years prior and returned to his smuggling ways, Han walked away from the Republic after Ben’s turn to the Dark Side, with Chewie in tow due to his unending loyalty. Where he was once a sceptical, self-serving smuggler, Han is now a jaded veteran who has seen more than his fair share of conflict and knows the extent of the Force only too well. Both he and Chewie take an instant like to Rey over their mutual appreciation of the Falcon’s capabilities and their piloting and mechanical skills, but Han is initially more concerned with retaking his ship than joining the battle against the First Order. He’s swayed to aid them, however, after seeing the partial map BB-8 possesses; he grimly relates a version of Luke’s self-imposed exile, omitting key information like his relationship to Kylo Ren (which is just dropped in our laps with little fuss of fanfare by Snoke), and leads them to Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o). This centuries-old sage very much fills the role of a Yoda (Frank Oz) archetype: she’s perceptive and wise, well versed in the nature of the Force, and even inexplicably has Anakin’s lightsaber, which Luke lost during his time in Cloud City. Han’s time on Takodana also reunites him with Leia after the Resistance fend off the First Orde’s attack; while Han is just as cynical as ever thanks to having lost his only son to the Dark Side, Leia remains the strong-willed beacon of hope that she always was. She commands respect from her Resistance fighters, who follow her lead without question and with unfaltering loyalty, and she also quickly forms an affectionate relationship with Rey. Her reunion with Han is one of both regret and joy; Han expresses remorse for all the wasted years he spent away from her, and (just as Luke did with Vader) she still maintains the hope that there’s good in Ben. Han promises to try and reach him, which ultimately proves to be his downfall; in an emotional confrontation, Han pleads with Ben to give up his crusade and ends up run through by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber in the troubled youth’s frantic desire to cut off all emotional attachments to his past. However, in his last moments, Han shows nothing but affection for his misguided son and, though it costs him his life, his sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain and would pay an integral part in Ben’s eventual (if questionable) redemption.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Despite my dislike for many of the decisions made in this film and the sequels, I do have to praise the script; character dialogue is especially entertaining, with the rapport between Poe and Finn being a notable highlight. It’s not just lines like Poe’s “who talks first?” line and Finn’s “I am with the Resistance” exchange with Rey that stand out either; BB-8’s hesitation at trusting Finn and then giving him a “thumbs up” is not only a sweet moment that influences the droid with more personality than I ever could’ve imagined but also extremely amusing, and little touches like Stormtroopers slowly backing away when Kylo Ren is losing his shit and cameos by the likes of Daniel Craig really help to elevate the script and even the most insignificant characters far beyond the stilted delivery churned out in the Prequel trilogy. Indeed, the performances are commendable across the board; the wit and banter exhibited is natural and amusing, Kylo Ren’s menace is threatening and imposing, General Hux is suitably over the top, and even Harrison Ford seems to be enjoying himself. Not only that but the film is peppered with little moments that help to I remember coming out of the film the first time I saw it and being won over by the character interactions alone; The Force Awakens was a breath of fresh air after the often wooden and awkward line delivery of the Prequel Trilogy, though don’t let this fool you into thinking that the actual plot is anything other than a shameless rehash of the best and most memorable aspects of the Original Trilogy.

*The film does a fantastic job of recreating the look and feel of the Original Trilogy.*

Another massive positive of The Force Awakens is its visual presentation. The abundance of practical effects is greatly appreciated; the First Order Stormtroopers actually wear suits, there’s physical ships, sets, and locations for characters to get into and interact with, and even BB-8 is a wholly practical effect. While there’s obviously a great deal of green screen and CGI involved in the film, it’s nowhere near as noticeably as in the Prequel Trilogy, which makes everything much more enjoyable to watch as it feels like things are actually happening rather than being created. Even now, despite my many issues with the film and its sequels, I can’t fault the special effects; it’s pretty bloody cool to see Rey scavenging a crashed Star Destroyer and to see it buried deep in the sand, the Millennium Falcon’s exhilarating escape from Jakku is as thrilling as any of the other space battles in the film, and there’s clearly been a great deal of love and care put into recreated the “lived-in”, practical feel of the Original Trilogy to juxtapose the limited resources of the Resistance and backwater worlds like Jakku with the technological might of the First Order. When CGI is used, it’s presented far less like some PlayStation 3-era videogame and in a way that allows ships and creatures to seamlessly appear part of their environment thanks, largely, to existing alongside traditional practical make-up effects and animatronics. This makes everything feel much more “real” and believable as characters are actually, physically in a space and at the controls of their crafts, which makes the many space skirmishes and action sequences all the more exciting. Perhaps the only real downside is the baffling inclusion of the monstrous Rathtars aboard Han’s new smuggling vessel, an inclusion simply made to get Han and the others out of a bind that didn’t need to exist as calling Han’s issues with the gangs looking to collect on him really doesn’t go anywhere, but seeing all the classic Star Wars ships in action once again was an undeniable thrill made all the more commendable by them having imperfections and being presented faithfully to their original depictions abut augmented, rather than overwhelmed, by CGI.

*Of all the derivative aspects from the Original Trilogy, Starkiller Base is the most glaring inclusion.*

However, I remain aggravated by the many allusions to the Original Trilogy that are peppered throughout the film; I enjoy nostalgia as much as the next person but The Force Awakens pulls so much from the first three films that it’s easy to see why so many found it derivative. Rey is a lonely girl living on a desert planet who dreams of the stars (just like Luke), there’s a mystery around Luke and the Jedi that’s almost exactly like Luke experiences at the start of his journey, and the First Order is just the Empire in new clothing as they pilot the same ships and are a malevolent and overwhelming force for the heroes to fight against. It doesn’t end there, though: Han’s confrontation with Kylo Ren is very reminiscent of Luke’s iconic run-in with Darth Vader in Cloud City, Poe hides a vital piece of information in a droid just like Leia did, Kylo Ren is introduced in a manner very similar to Darth Vader and even interrogates Rey much like Vader did to Leia, Maz’s castle very much evokes the same feeling of danger and debauchery as the Mos Eisley Cantina, and even the disgusting Unkar Plutt (Simon Pegg) isn’t a million miles away from Jabba the Hutt (Declan Mulholland/Scott Schumann). But perhaps the most glaring of all is Starkiller Base itself, a planet-sized weapon capable of destroying the New Republic’s core worlds in one shot, apparently regardless of where those planets are located in the galaxy. As ominous and dangerous a threat as the Death Stars were, those were merely the size of moons; Starkiller Base dwarfs them in comparison (because bigger is always better, right?) and is five times as dangerous with its ludicrously power and impractical main cannon. It makes you wonder how the First Order are able to aim their weapon; like, what if their targets are further away, or on the other side of the planet? And how in the absolute hell did the First Order find the time and resources to build such a preposterous weapon? It took the Empire thirty years to build the Death Star and, in less time, the First Order were apparently able to partially hollow out a planet, install all their machinery, and develop the technology to harness the power of a star all to destroy five worlds. Starkiller Base is not only far more impractical and far more immobile than the Death Stars, its power is also much more finite as surely it will eventually suck that star dry? And, to make matters worse, the First Order learned nothing from their predecessors and failed to account for glaring weaknesses in their doomsday weapon that allow a rag-tag fleet of Resistance fighters and ground troops to destroy it from the inside out (a victory that you would think would spell the end of the First Order but, somehow, they’re apparent stronger than ever in the sequel despite surely the vast majority of their forces being stationed on that world?)

*For me, the film really wastes a lot of the potential to do something new with the franchise.*

However, The Force Awakens’ problems go beyond just banking on nostalgia; I can understand that, but what I can’t understand (and still can’t understand) is just how off the mark so much of its narrative is. As great as the new characters are the as heart-warming as the call-backs and attention to detail is, the execution is just so bafflingly off in so many ways that just caused a ripple effect that messed up the subsequent sequels as well. This includes annoyances like Kylo Ren’s unmasking not being saved for his confrontation with Han rather than being wasted on Rey’s interrogation, not getting a sense of how the galaxy has changed since the New Republic was formed, not seeing Luke training new Jedi, Han and Leia being separated, Rey’s origins being left vague simply as a sequel hook, and not getting to see anything of the last thirty years of these character’s lives. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and it’s easy to say what they “should have” done, but I was restructuring this movie in my head within minutes after leaving the cinema. I would’ve had Leia and Han be together as supporting characters and highlighted their new struggles as politicians rather than freedom fighters so we could see them as new characters, rather than the same ones but older. I would have had Rey and Ben be cousins or siblings and Luke’s finest students and have Ben’s turn to the Dark Side be a gradual thing that peaked in the second movie. Or I would have removed Snoke completely and restructured the First Order so that Hux commands the military, Kylo Ren leads his acolytes as the “muscle” (maintaining their professional rivalry), and given more screen time to Captain Phasma as the front-line commander of the troops. I definitely would have had the First Order be a small, but aggressive, terrorist force that attacked key targets (and named them something a bit less obnoxious), and maybe had Kylo Ren seek out Luke’s scattered Jedi to kill or recruit them. I would have definitely made more of Finn being Force-sensitive and carry it through, possibly even at the cost of Rey’s Force ability, and absolutely would have changed the depiction of Starkiller Base! The focus of the film should have been on intercepting a vital component or power source for an unrevealed First Order weapon; we should see only the interior and glimpses of their hidden base and recruitment centre until the finale and Starkiller Base should have been saved for the third film as the ultimate threat. The Resistance could have then destroyed a factory or facility the First Order had overtaken, not built, on a moon for a similar finale. I’m okay with Han dying but I do think it should’ve been saved for the next film so we could get more screen time with Ben and Rey and just a better sense of why we should care that this random new character turned bad beyond him being Han Solo’s kid.

*Han’s sacrifice pushes Rey to find her true self, and allows the Resistance to pinpoint Luke’s location.*

To be fair, though, Han’s death causes anguish not just for Leia and Chewie, but also for Rey, who had very quickly come to see him as not just an icon but a father figure of sorts. This only exacerbates her hatred and vendetta against Kylo Ren, who intimidated her, tortured her, threatened her newfound friends, and embodies all of the wanton destruction and evil of the First Order. Thanks to Han’s sacrifice, the shield generator around Starkiller Base is lowered, allow Poe to strike the thermal oscillator and set off a chain reaction that tears the planet apart; despite this, and being injured, Kylo Ren purses Finn and Rey into the nearby woods and a final confrontation goes down. Unfortunately for Finn, he’s not the potential Jedi the film leads us to believe he is and he suffers a seemingly devastating injury at Kylo’s hands; Kylo is then stunned when his attempts to reclaim his grandfather’s lightsaber are met with failure and the blade instead finds itself into Rey’s hands. Incredibly, despite having absolutely no training with the weapon and the unpredictable nature of her Force powers, Rey is able to more than hold her own against Kylo Ren, who is fascinated by her and the potential she has and attempts to sway her towards the Dark Sides. However, Rey is so incensed at Kylo’s actions that she angrily rebukes his offer and attacks with everything she has; Kylo’s fighting style is far more refined and deliberate and much different to other Force users we’ve seen so far. His lightsaber is styled after a traditional medieval sword and literally splitting with energy, but his movements are heavy-handed and fuelled by strength and rage, something he only exacerbates by repeatedly beating his chest and worsening the pain from his injury to increase his pain and anger. Ultimately, their duel is interrupted by the destruction of Starkiller Base but, while Kylo lives to fight another day, he’s left with an absolutely brutal scar across his face and the Resistance is finally able to complete the map and pinpoint Luke’s location. The ending then becomes this really rushed finale as Artoo is reactivated and Rey takes Hans place aboard the Millennium Falcon to confront Luke on the remote world of Ahch-Toh, where the film ends with an awkward stare down between the two. Personally, considering that Luke really wasn’t in the film at all, I think it would’ve been better to end the movie with the Resistance completing the map and save Rey’s trip to Ahch-To for the sequel as it really fell flat for me, despite how cool it was to see Luke as a wizened hermit.

The Summary:
I find myself conflicted over Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens. On the one hand, it’s a brilliant love letter to the Original Trilogy, dusting off all the familiar ships and characters and tropes that made George Lucas’ films so iconic. The use of practical effects is incredibly appealing, and the use of physical sets, props, and locations really helps to capture the same feeling evoked in those first films, before Lucas went all crazy with the CGI. The new characters are great as well; they all exude a great deal of chemistry and charisma and have a great rapport with each other. The friendship between Finn and Poe, and Finn and Rey, was far better and more believable than any relationship seen in the Prequel Trilogy and Kylo Ren made for a surprisingly complex villain who did in one movie what three films struggled to do with Anakin Skywalker. Equally, I have few faults with the dialogue and characterisations; even one-dimensional villains and periphery characters show some personality either through some snappy line delivery or a striking visual look, and BB-8 was a fantastic little droid to add to the Star Wars ensemble who managed to stand out as unique amongst its peers. However, on the other hand, there’s the sheer banality of the whole thing; at its core, it’s just A New Hope again, with elements of the other two films tossed in and weaved into the narrative simply to cash-in on nostalgia and familiarity. There’s no real sense of progression here; yes, we have fresh new faces, but the galaxy seems to be exactly the same as we last left it except that the characters we grew up idolising have gotten older, wearier, and largely walked away from their responsibilities. We’re told a few things about what happened in the interim, but I know that I, personally, would much rather have seen it or at least seen some indication of it rather than just falling back on a safe status quo but with a new coat of paint. I think that sums up my feelings on The Force Awakens quite well: it’s too safe. There’s no real attempt to try anything new, just rehashing what we’ve seen before and underdelivering on potential new storylines as a result, and it’s especially disappointing given how experimental and different Disney’s Star Wars projects would eventually become after their Sequel Trilogy failed to live up to expectations. It’s probably still the best of the Sequel Trilogy for me, but that’s really not saying much, and The Force Awakens continues to just be a huge missed opportunity to try something new that spiralled into a nosedive with the next two sequels.

My Rating:

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens? Did you find it to be a decent start to the Sequel Trilogy and how would you rank it against other films in the Star Wars saga? Which of the three new protagonists was your favourite? Did you enjoy seeing a Stormtrooper have a crisis of conscience? What did you think to Rey and did you find her a little too perfect as a character? Were you a fan of Kylo Ren? What are your thoughts on the use of nostalgia and did you like the narrative presented in the film? Were you shocked by Han’s death and annoyed that Luke was basically a glorified cameo? I’d love to see your thoughts on The Force Awakens in the replies below or on my social media, so feel free to share your opinions, good or bad, and thanks for joining me for three more days of Star Wars!

Movie Night [Revenge of the 5th]: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

05/05/202304/11/2025Dr. K5 Comments

Although May 4^th is known the world over as Star Wars Day, many also choose to celebrate the popular, generation-spanning science-fiction saga on May 5^th as a play on the word “Sith”. This can extend Star Wars Day into three day celebration of the influential science-fiction series and, as a result, is another great excuse for Star Wars fans to celebrate the beloved franchise in a variety of ways.

Released: 10 December 2016
Director: Gareth Edwards
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Budget: $200 to 265 million
Stars: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, Riz Ahmed, Jiang Wen, and Forest Whitaker

The Plot:
When construction of the Galactic Empire’s planet-killing superweapon stalls, Director Orson Krennic (Mendelsohn) coerces scientist Galen Erso (Mikkelsen) to complete the space station. Years later, Galen’s daughter, Jyn (Jones), is reluctantly recruited by the Rebel Alliance to retrieve a holographic message from her father that may hold the key to destroying the “Death Star” ahead of schedule.

The Background:
In 1977, George Lucas brought the world Star Wars for the very first time with the release of Episode IV: A New Hope. Essentially a “space opera” in the style of pulp science-fiction serials like Flash Gordon (Stephani, 1936), Star Wars went through many drafts before becoming the influential sci-fi masterpiece we know and love today. Almost immediately, Star Wars became a phenomenon that inspired not just one generation but, thanks to multiple sequels and lucrative merchandising, numerous generations for years to come. In 2012, Lucas sold his lucrative franchise to Disney for a cool $4 billion who immediately began developing not just a whole new trilogy of movies but also a series of spin-off feature films to further flesh out the Star Wars saga. Envisioned a more of a grounded war film compared to the grandiose space adventure of the other Star Wars movies, Rogue One had an interesting development as numerous reshoots fundamentally altered several presumed aspects of the story. Upon release, the film went on to gross over $1 billion at the box office and became the second-highest-grossing film of the year; yet, despite receiving generally positive reviews, I often see a lot of people talking down about this film. For my money, it’s better than the entire Sequel Trilogy combined and probably my second-favourite Star Wars movie after Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back (Kershner, 1980).

The Review:
Rogue One was quite the experimental project at the time; foregoing many of the recognisable elements and tropes of the Star Wars saga (including the traditional opening crawl), the film filled the gap between Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (Lucas, 2005) and A New Hope by telling the events that led to the Rebel Alliance acquiring the Death Star plans that kicked the entire saga in motion. The linchpin of this is Galan Erso, an Imperial scientist who, disillusioned with his work being used to subjugate and destroy others, walks away from the Empire in order to raise his daughter, Jyn, and live out his days as a simple farmer. However, when Orson Krennic arrives and murders Galan’s wife (Valene Kane) in front of him, Galan is forced to return to work in order to keep Jyn safe from Imperial reprisals. He spends the next fifteen years paying the role of dutiful, down-trodden subordinate to bring the Death Star to completion all while secretly including a well-hidden weakness into the space station and conspiring to deliver this information to the Rebel Alliance.

*Jyn is inspired by Saw to take an active role in the fight against the Empire.*

Galan isn’t in the film much but he’s an interestingly complex character thanks, largely, to the range and ability of Mads Mikkelsen, who commands the screen every time he appears on camera. Though the Rebel Alliance believes Galan to be a traitor and orders his assassination under the pretence of extraction, Jyn remains steadfast in her belief in her father’s morals, even more so when she views the holographic recording he made professing his true intentions and subterfuge. Jyn herself is a serviceable enough character; given when Rogue One was released, one cannot help but compare her to fellow Star Wars protagonist Rey (Daisy Ridley) and, arguably, Jyn is the stronger and more interesting character as she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder, she isn’t immediately the best at everything she does, and she is largely more interested in her own survival rather than getting swept up in the rebellion against the Empire. Her outlook changes after reuniting with her surrogate father, Saw Gerrera (Whitaker), and viewing her father’s message; after seeing the lengths her father went to to deceive the Empire and keep her safe, she does an almost immediate about-turn and is all for fighting for hope, however small, rather than emotional, misdirected rebellion. A competent and independent female character, Jones is believable enough at portraying an “Everywoman” character but is, perhaps, a little lacking in her delivery of certain lines and feeling like a truly organic piece of this universe. Compare her to Cassian Andor (Luna), for example; little more than a war-weary assassin of sorts, Andor is a bitter and pragmatic individual who may not like having to get his hands dirty for the Rebellion but is willing to do so since he is 100% committed to their cause.

*As great as Krennic is, I think it would’ve been better to just cast Mendelsohn as Tarkin instead.*

There are many layers to Andor’s character as he executes a friend and fellow Rebel (Daniel Mays) without hesitation rather than risk them getting caught and is more than willing to do the same to Galan until Jyn’s passionate plea causes him to question himself. Eager to atone for the blood he has shed in the name of the Rebellion, Cassian willing volunteers himself for what amounts to little more than a suicide mission against the Imperial garrison where the Death Star plans are being held and switches his allegiance just as fully to Jyn’s rogue team of Rebels. The Rebels are directly opposed by Orson Krennic, played with delicious relish by Ben Mendelsohn, who makes an immediate impact with his beautiful, clean white Imperial garb and Mendelsohn’s superb ability to steal every scene his in, chewing scenery at every opportunity to portray Krennic as a sadistic, ambitious, and self-serving scumbag. Krennic’s pride and joy is the Death Star, which was the product of his own design and direction, and he is driven to near desperation to ensure that the space station remains under his control and that credit is given to him and him alone for its unmatched power. This brings Krennic into direct opposition with Grand Moff Tarkin (Guy Henry/Peter Cushing), who openly talks down to Krennic and then immediately takes full credit for the Death Star after witnessing a mere fraction of its power. The digital effects used to bring Cushing back to life through Tarkin are impressive, if unavoidably noticeable; I can’t help but think it might have been better to either feature the character sparingly, in shadow or as a distorted hologram, or simply cast Mendelsohn in the role. The effect works but some scenes are better than others and it gets more than a little disturbing and perturbing when the character continues to crop back up again and again.

*The* Rogue One crew make the most of their few opportunities to shine.

While Krennic is sent into a desperate frenzy to tie up all the loose ends that might keep him from receiving his full recognition, his efforts are continually disrupted by the remainder of Jyn’s little band of misfits: while meeting with Saw in the remains of a Jedi Temple on Jedha, Jyn and Cassian successfully rescue Bodhi Rook (Ahmed), the pilot who carried Galan’s message, and hook up with the blind quasi-Jedi Chirrut Îmw (Yen) and his friend and bodyguard, of sorts, Baze Malbus (Wen). These three characters have more personality and are more likeable than the majority of the emotionally-stunted cast of the Prequel Trilogy; Bodhi is a quirky, almost neurotic pilot who acts largely as the film’s comic relief (something its bleak tone really needs at times), Chirrut is a shadow of the Jedi’s former power but no less bad-ass for it, and Baze is a hulking and devoted protector who wields a kick-ass chaingun-like laser rifle. As great as these characters are at stealing little moments and injecting personality into their roles to make the most of their screen time, they (and almost every other character) are completely overshadowed by K-2SO (Tudyk), a reprogrammed Imperial enforcer droid who acts as Cassian’s co-pilot and partner. K-2SO is a snarky, blunt, hilarious character who isn’t shy about sharing his feelings with others; I imagine that K-2SO is probably what R2-D2 (Kenny Baker/Jimmy Vee/Ben Burtt) would sound like if he could talk, just this rude, smart-mouthed droid who begrudgingly helps his allies out but always seems like he’s been put out by it. It’s truly a film-stealing inclusion and something I didn’t expect heading into Rogue One given that droids in the Star Wars saga were generally quite polite or (dare I say it…?) robotic until K-2SO.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I mentioned earlier that Rogue One’s tone is bleak and don’t misunderstand me: It is a bleak film but that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a good thing; it recalls the same against-the-odds atmosphere of The Empire Strikes Back and is in stark contrast to the usual adventurous and peppy feel of the saga. It’s a testament that I find the film’s bleak ending to be so affecting considering that there really wasn’t any need to kill off all of he film’s protagonists; just because we don’t see them in other Star Wars films doesn’t mean they couldn’t have survived and, arguably, given that Cassian eventually got his own Disney+ spin-off prequel series, they probably should have so that further media could have been produced to continue their story behind (and between) the scenes of the main Star Wars saga.

*The* Rogue One *crew lead a desperate, suicidal assault to retrieve the Death Star plans.*

Still, it hammers home the overwhelming odds that the Rebellion faces against the Empire and their new Death Star and really helps to further flesh out just how stacked the deck is against the Empire in the other films. When Jyn and the others break away from the Rebellion to find the plans, they know that it’s most likely going to be a suicide mission but are nevertheless committed to seeing it through even in the face of incredible odds. It seems, for a brief moment, that they may actually have a fighting chance as not only does the Rebel Alliance arrive for some much-needed backup but they have the advantage of surprise and even manage to successfully broadcast the plans to the Rebels despite Krennic’s best efforts. Still, it’s all for naught; having assumed command of the Death Star while Krennic was out chasing his tail, Tarkin doesn’t hesitate to use a small fraction of its power to decimate the Imperial garrison as the first official demonstration of the Death Star, thereby erasing Krennic’s legacy and replacing it with his own. In that white-hot flash of fire and destruction, however, the spark of hope survives thanks to the sacrifices of Jyn, Cassian, and their friends as the Death Star plans are successfully intercepted by Princess Leia Organa (Ingvild Deila/Carrie Fisher), effectively ending the film right where A New Hope begins.

*Darth Vader steals the show in his brief, but brutal, appearance at the finale.*

Of course, things aren’t as simple as all that; not only do the Rebels have to contend with the Imperial ground troops, walkers, and TIE Fighters, countless Rebel soldiers are cut down by the vicious swings of Darth Vader’s (Spencer Wilding/Daniel Naprous/James Earl Jones) lightsaber. Despite Jones’s voice obviously sounding noticeably aged and gravelly, Vader’s inclusion is one of the film’s biggest highlights; not only does he come across as a subtly intimidating presence when Krennic meets with him on Mustafa, the end scene where he cuts down Rebels without any mercy, quarter, or compromise is, perhaps, the most ferocious and brutal we have ever seen the character onscreen. It’s as though his uncharacteristically subdued portrayal in A New Hope was hiding this caged animal just waiting to be unleashed and it really helps add to the tension and desperation of the film’s final scenes.

The Summary:
Despite the praise Rogue One received upon release, I feel as though the film is unfairly overlooked and forgotten about in favour of near-endless debates about the Prequel and Sequel Trilogies. People generally talk about Vader’s dramatic and merciless slaughter and the digital recreations of classic Star Wars actors while failing to acknowledge all of the other strengths the film has. With is bleak and gritty tone and aesthetic, Rogue One really helps to sell you on the desperation and futility of the Rebel Alliance’s efforts against the all-powerful Empire. They are outnumbered and outgunned at every turn, fighting and scratching and clawing for any advantage and this often means performing less-than-noble tasks in service of gaining just a slither of ground against the Empire. Uncompromising and original in its execution, tone, and direction, Rogue One deserves to be talked about with the same level of reverence as The Empire Strikes Back for helping to flesh out a previously-unknown story in the Star Wars saga and adamantly hammering home its message of the harsh realities of war.

My Rating:

Fantastic

What are your thoughts on Rogue One? Did you enjoy it for its more bleak direction or did it, perhaps, fail to live up to your expectations for a Star Wars film? Do you think that some or all of the film’s characters should have lived or do you agree that it makes a far lasting impression to see them all die to facilitate the Star Wars saga? What did you think of Darth Vader’s inclusion and the digital resurrection of classic Star Wars actors? How are you celebrating May the Fourth this year? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below and go read my other Star Wars reviews!

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