adaptation

Screen Time [Sonic CDay]: Sonic the Hedgehog: “Blast to the Past” (S2: E17/18)

Dr. K1 Comment

Developed alongside the blockbuster Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Technical Institute, 1992), Sonic the Hedgehog CD (Sonic Team, 1993) released on this day back in 1993. Expanding upon the Blue Blur’s debut title, Sonic CD introduced Metal Sonic (one of Sonic’s most popular and enduring rivals) and Amy Rose, and is considered by many to be one of the best of the classic Sonic titles.

Season Two, Episode 17 and 18:
“Blast to the Past”

Air Date: 1 October 1994 and 8 October 1994
Director: Ron Myrick
US Network: ABC
UK Network: Channel 4
Stars: Jaleel White, Kath Soucie, Jim Cummings, Tahj Mowry, Lindsay Ridgeway, Tim Curry, and William Windom

The Background:
Sonic the Hedgehog took the videogame industry by storm thanks to SEGA’s aggressive marketing campaign. Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic Team, 1991) was a huge success and Sonic’s popularity exploded after the release of Sonic the Hedgehog 2. Suddenly, Sonic was everywhere: not only was he included in the Macy’s Day Parade but he also made the jump to television with two concurrent cartoons. After seeing the success that DiC Entertainment had producing cartoons that were effectively little more than half-hour advertisements for Nintendo’s videogames, SEGA of America partnered with DiC to develop an animated series for their super-sonic mascot. To help sell their pitch to ABC, DiC signed Jaleel White for the title role but ABC believed their original slapstick pitch was unsuitable for a Saturday morning slot. Undeterred, producer Robby London simply developed an entirely separate Sonic cartoon for the prime Saturday morning slot, giving audiences two very different Sonic cartoons, each with their own tone and animation style. While Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog (1993; 1996) emphasised over-the-top, meme–worthy, slapstick humour, Sonic the Hedgehog (or “SatAM”) was a far darker take on the franchise. Though both cartoons awkwardly collided when Archie Comics published Sonic comic books, the majority of Adventures’ influence was eventually stripped away in favour of those from SatAM and Adventures is generally regarded less favourably than its darker counterpart. For many, SatAM was a defining aspect of their childhood and impressed with its more mature themes. Although it exhibited only questionable fidelity to the source material, SatAM did, occasionally, include elements from the videogames, with this two-part story being one of the most notable examples.

The Plot:
In a bid to stop Doctor Robotnik (Cummings) from conquering the Planet Mobius, Sonic the Hedgehog (White) and Princess Sally Acorn (Soucie) use the legendary Time Stones to travel back in time, only for an error to land them right in the middle of the dictator’s life-changing coup d’état.

The Review:
When I was a kid, I used to watch Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog religiously. Every Sunday morning (as I recall; it might’ve been Saturday…), I would sit and watch it, usually record it, and delight in seeing Sonic’s slapstick antics. Then, one morning, something was different. The entire tone and cast of the show had changed; suddenly, Sonic wasn’t dressing up in ridiculous costumes and acting like a super-fast version of Bugs Bunny (Mel Blanc/Various) and Dr. Robotnik (Long John Baldry) wasn’t a comical, bumbling buffoon. Instead, Sonic was the point man in an outnumbered resistance movement against a far darker, semi-cybernetic dictator. Miles “Tails” Prower (Christopher Stephen Welch; Bradley Pierce) was completely absent in the first episode I watched, “Sonic Boom” (Sebast, 1993), and the bright, zany world of Adventures was replaced with a grim, polluted hellhole. It was a jarring change for me, but I loved Sonic so I quickly adapted. It helped that SatAM opened with an absolutely jamming theme song and that a lot of its presentation was very close to what was happening in Sonic the Comic (1993 to 2002) at the time, and that the visual style of the show and Sonic’s battle against this far more malevolent Dr. Robotnik were so compelling.

Desperate to defeat Dr. Robotnik, Sonic and Sally seek out the legendary Time Stones.

Although SatAM’s second season would later include concurrent narratives, and there was always an ongoing theme of the Knothole Freedom Fighters desperately opposing Dr. Robotnik’s regime, “Blast from the Past” is the only two-part story arc in the series. The first part opens, as many episodes do, with Sonic, Sally, and some unnamed Freedom Fighters on a covert mission in the polluted hellscape known as Robotropolis. Although a brash and reckless egomaniac, Sonic is instrumental to the Freedom Fighters; he’s classified as “Hedgehog: Priority One” by Dr. Robotmik’s SWATbots (Frank Welker), which immediately deviate from their regular patrols to chase him. While this creates enough of a distraction for their unnamed allies to sabotage Robotropolis’s main power grid, their friends are captured and taken to Dr. Robotnik’s citadel, and summarily roboticized. Although the jovial dragon Dulcy (Cree Summer) tries to alleviate the guilt Sonic and Sally feel for this loss by pointing out that all the planning and moxie in the world can’t oppose Dr. Robotnik’s resources or malice, Sonic can’t help but wish they’d fought back harder when Dr. Robotnik first took over, even though they were only five years old back then. Dulcy suggests that they use the legendary Time Stones to travel back in time and fulfil this wish. Sceptical, an exasperated Sally initially shoots down the plan as she believes the Time Stones and their equally mythological home, the Floating Island, are nothing more than a fantasy, to say nothing of the moral and scientific dangers of violating the time stream. However, Sally reluctantly agrees when the clumsy Dulcy reveals that she once crashed into the Floating Island, but she remains sceptical until Dulcy braves a tumultuous storm and crashes the three on the fabled island. Rather than being home to Knuckles the Echidna and the Master Emerald, the Floating Island is represented as a much smaller land mass that houses an ornate palace guarded by two stone gargoyles. Sonic outraces the guardians and causes them to vanish by running himself and Sally off the island. After being rescued by Dulcy, the two enter the palace and navigate a confusing M. C. Escher-esque labyrinth before being confront by the owl-like Keeper of the Time Stones (Curry). Despite Sonic’s blockheadedness, Sally solves the Keeper’s riddle (the answer is “time”) and the Keeper explains how to use the Time Stones’ power.

Unfortunately, Sonic and Sally are too late to stop Dr. Robotnik enacting a destructive coup d’état.

However, despite Sonic’s best attempts to focus only on the palace fountain in Mobotropolis circa 3224, his mind wanders to chili dogs, throwing off their arrival. The two are overwhelmed to find their home lush and verdant and alive, but even more stunned when their younger selves (Mowry and Ridgeway, respectively) wander by. It turns out that Sonic never really grew out of his childish, arrogant ways as his younger self delights in gobbling down chilli dogs and boasting of his super speed, much to the chagrin of the younger princess. Sonic and Sally go straight to Sonic’s beloved uncle, genius inventor, and loveable father-figure Sir Charles “Chuck” Hedgehog (Windom) and reveal the impending threat to the city. Back in this time, Sally’s father, King Maximillian Acorn (Curry), ruled a thriving, technologically robust city thanks to support from his Grand Vizier, Julian. Julian helped Mobotropolis win the “Great War” with his machinery, earning him a promotion to Minister of Science, though he secretly conspires with his long-suffering nephew, Snively (Charlie Adler), to take over Mobotropolis using not only the decommissioned war machines but Uncle Chuck’s Roboticizer machine. As shocked as Sonic and Sally are to discover that Uncle Chuck invented the nightmarish device, Uncle Chuck is horrified to learn this his invention (which was created to help old people “live longer”) is to be perverted into a tool for evil. Although they initially stay avoid their younger selves, they inevitably meet; introducing themselves as “Alicia” and “Juice” and presented as distant cousins, the Sallys despair of their childish antics and Sonic is stunned to find that his younger self is actually faster than him! However, their fun is interrupted by the realisation that they’ve arrived on the eve of Julian’s destructive coup d’état. Uncle Chuck has Sally’s nanny, Rosie (April Winchell), take the kids to safety in Knothole then introduces Sally to her father. Understandably emotional given that her father has been trapped in the “Void” for most of her life, their heartfelt reunion convinces King Acorn to trust Uncle Chuck’s warnings about Julian. Unfortunately, they’re too late to intercede; Julian reprograms the city’s robotic defences to recognise his commands and sends them to capture the inhabitants, including the young Sonic and his friends, before storming into the king’s throne room. Now garbed in his iconic red outfit, Julian rechristens himself Doctor Robotnik, and Mobotropolis “Robotropolis”, much to the anger and horror of Sonic and his friends.

Although they humiliate Snively, Sonic and Sally are faced with a race against time to salvage the timeline.

After a brief recap, part two picks up with Uncle Chuck disabling the SWATbots and causing a distraction so that Sonic can speed Sally to safety. However, they’re quickly imprisoned alongside their younger counterparts and forced to watch from their cell as Dr. Robotnik’s massive mechanical blimp, the Destroyer, spreads a polluting cloud over Mobotropolis that instantly kills all plant life, transforms the once idyllic landscape into a mechanical hell, just like before. Thanks to the schematics of Dr. Robotnik’s citadel on her pocket computer, Nicole (Soucie), Sally directs Sonic in burrowing them to safety, though Dr. Robotnik arrogantly dismisses the potential threat since he’s already imprisoned 80% of the population. Unfortunately, Sonic and Sally are too late to save their younger selves; since their very existence is threatened by this, the two buy themselves some time by having Nicole cause a brief power outage in the Roboticizer. To amuse himself in the meantime, Dr. Robotnik takes great pleasure in banishing King Acorn to the Void, an extradimensional portal where he once banished his rival, the sorcerer Ixis Naugus (Michael Bell). Luckily, the power outage allows Sally to download the machine’s schematics for future reference, but things are exacerbated when they spot the Destroyer heading for the Great Forest and threatening Knothole and, once again, their futures. Faced with a ticking clock, the two blast away to intercept the Destroyer, earning Snively’s ire by stripping him of his hair with a sonic boom and briefly stopping to rescue Dulcy’s mother, Sabina, from Dr. Robotnik’s forces.

Although they fail to save Mobius, Sonic and Sally’s jaunt isn’t a total loss and renews their fighting spirit.

Using a Power Ring for a speed boost and his anti-gravity sneakers, Sonic rockets himself and Sally up to the Destroyer, where even Sonic’s breezy demeanour is strained by Dr. Robotnik’s inexhaustible forces. Luckily, Sabina fends them off and brings the Destroyer crashing to the ground, so Sonic and Sally race back to Robotropolis to save their younger selves. Sadly, Sonic fails to prevent his defiant uncle’s roboticization, meaning his younger self has to endure the horror of watching the only family he has be transformed into a mindless robotic slave, though Sonic assures the grieving boy that Uncle Chuck will be restored in time. Sonic and Sally get the kids to safety and, in the process, Sonic earns Dr. Robotnik’s boundless fury by not only mocking and defying him, but also roboticizing his left arm. After teaching the younger Sonic a thing or two about trashing robots, the kids are brought to Rosie and spirited to the safety of Knothole. Before she goes, Sally makes Rosie promise to never leave the village to avoid her becoming another of Dr. Robotnik’s minions in the near future. With Dr. Robontik’s full force closing in, Sonic and Sally use the Time Stones to return to the future, infuriating the newly-crowned dictator. Although Sonic believes the entire escapade was a waste of time since they never changed the past like they intended, Sally is bolstered by the odds now that they have the Roboticizer plans, and Sonic is left nursing a migraine when he tries to understand how Rosie is still in Knothole…despite being right there when Sally told her not to leave.

The Summary:
I’ll be the first to admit that reviewing “Blast to the Past” as an adaptation of Sonic CD is a bit of a monumental stretch. To be honest, the tangential link was enough of an excuse for me to talk about SatAM, one of a handful of cartoons that defined my childhood. While, on the surface, there doesn’t appear to be much of a relation between the two, they actually have a fair amount in common: obviously, the Time Stones appear (though in a vastly different format) and Sonic travels through time (again, in a very different way to Sonic CD), but there’s also shared themes of pollution and time paradoxes at work in the episodes. Sonic and Sally travel to the past, where Mobius and Mobotropolis especially were free from pollution and war, in an attempt to stop Dr. Robotnik before he can rise to power. When they fail in this endeavour, the once lush and thriving landscape becomes a dark, grimy, mechanical hellhole (a “Bad Future”, if you will) and we clearly see the consequences of their time travel onscreen just like in Sonic CD’s gameplay. Again, that might seem like a stretch, but you have to remember how few inspirations SatAM took from the source material. While I was disappointed that we never got Knuckles, the Chaos Emeralds, Metal or Super Sonic in the series (especially the first two in these episodes), it was still fun to see gameplay elements adapted to fit the context of this dark and mature series.

While things get very bleak very quickly, the time travel plot showcases our hero’s vulnerable sides.

“Blast from the Past” is easily one of the strongest arcs of SatAM. For the first time, we get to see what life was like before Dr. Robotnik took over. We’re so used to seeing Knothole and the Great Forest being the one bastion of nature in an otherwise ransacked, almost post-apocalyptic world that it’s extremely poignant to see Sonic and Sally react in awe when they walk the streets of the thriving Mobotropolis once more. The episodes give both characters a chance to show some vulnerability; this wasn’t uncommon in SatAM given how bleak their situation was, but it’s heart-warming (and breaking) to see Sonic reunited with his unroboticized uncle and Sally finally reunited with her beloved and long-lost father. It was also quite fun seeing Sonic and Sally interact with their younger selves; their personalities haven’t changed much over the years, with Sonic being impulsive and Sally being more restrained, but the younger Sonic makes an impression by outpacing his elder (and even referring to Sonic as “old”) and breaking down in tears when his cherished uncle is roboticized before his eyes. Although characterised as a brash, headstrong, and snarky speedster, Sonic showcased some surprising emotional depth in SatAM and “Blast to the Past” emphasises that beautifully. We see his anger at Dr. Robotnik’s heinous actions, his desperation to save the future, and the guilt he feels at having potentially screwed up their best chance of saving the world before it goes to hell. Although functionally unstoppable and capable of physics-bending feats, Sonic isn’t beyond fatigue or weakness. Mainly, this is realised in his inability to sit still, focus, or think of or work to a plan, which is why he and Sally work so well together as she does the thinking and he does the fighting (though she’s perfectly capable of holding her own in a pinch, too).

Dr. Robotnik is at his most malicious in SatAM and this two-parter showcases his rise to power.

As ever with SatAM, the star of the show is the reprehensible Dr. Robotnik. Never before or since has the rotund dictator been portrayed as such a malevolent and spiteful force (well, maybe in Sonic the Comic and obviously in the Archie comics…). SatAM-Robotnik was a serious threat, even when he was doing more comical stuff or being humiliated by his foes. Thanks to his incredible resources and relentless craving for power and conquest, Dr. Robotnik delights in subjecting his captives to the Roboticizer and turning them into his mindless, obedient slaves. Abusive towards his long-suffering nephew, Dr. Robotnik cares only about himself and his insane lust for power. Despite his prominent position of trust and authority alongside King Acorn, Dr. Robotnik has grander designs for himself and easily takes what he wants by force, without any real resistance. This oppressive, suffocating malevolence makes battling Dr. Robotnik an uphill, almost unwinnable battle even when Sonic has the speed and power advantage, and even time on his side as in this two-parter. Ultimately, Sonic and Sally’s efforts to prevent Dr. Robotnik’s coup d’état are met with failure but they are bolstered enough to continue fighting after remembering what they’re fighting for. While Rosie ironically didn’t actually show up in future episodes, “Blast to the Past” led to the creation of the De-Roboticizer and the Freedom Fighters’ attempts to restore Dr. Robotnik’s victims to normal. So, yeah, while it may have almost nothing to do with Sonic CD and vastly reimagines the Floating Island, “Blast to the Past” is still an enjoyable and significant two-part arc. SatAM remains one of the most influential Sonic canons and is still heralded as one of the best cartoons of the nineties. While it wasn’t exactly true to the source material and has, in my view, since been surpassed, I can’t deny my love for the series, especially darker and more introspective episodes like these two, so I’m always happy to return to the series and relive my youth.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy “Blast to the Past”? Were you disappointed by how few elements from Sonic CD were present in the story or were you just happy to see videogame elements incorporated into SatAM? Did you enjoy SatAM as a kid? What did you think to the depiction of Dr. Robotnik’s rise to power? Which of SatAM’s original characters was your favourite and what did you think to Sonic’s characterisation in the show? How are you celebrating Sonic CD’s anniversary this year? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic CD, or SatAM in general, feel free to leave a comment below or on my social media.

Movie Night [Spidey Month]: Spider-Man 3

Dr. K10 Comments

Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and popular superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was first bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the true meaning of power and responsibility in Amazing Fantasy #15, which was first published in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in numerous cartoons, live-action movies, videogames, action figures, and countless comic book titles and, in celebration of his debut and his very own day of celebration, I’ve been dedicating every Tuesday of August to talk about everyone’s favourite web-head!

Released: 4 May 2007
Director: Sam Raimi
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $258 to 350 million
Stars: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, and Bryce Dallas Howard

The Plot:
Having finally gotten the girl of his dreams, Peter Parker (Maguire) finds his life on the upswing, but an attack by vengeful Harry Osborn (Franco), and the discovery that recently-superpowered thief Flint Marko (Church) killed his beloved uncle see Peter giving in to the power and allure of a mysterious black suit from space.

The Background:
Following his debut issue becoming one of Marvel’s best selling titles at the time, Spider-Man’s popularity saw him become their flagship character. Soon, the wall-crawler fronted numerous team-up comics, videogames, cartoons, and even a live-action series. Although his cinematic debut was constantly delayed by script and legal issues, Sam Raimi and Sony Pictures Entertainment landed a critical and commercial success with Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002) and followed this two years later with Spider-Man 2 (ibid, 2004), which is widely regarded as one of the greatest superhero movies ever made. There was never any question that a third film would follow and Raimi initially planned to explore Peter’s morality, the humanity of his villains, and themes of forgiveness; However, his wish to cast Ben Kingsley as Adrian Toomes/The Vulture was blocked by producer Avi Arad, who insisted that the more popular Eddie Brock/Venom be included instead. Although Raimi was initially hesitant, he acquiesced after relating to the character as a dark mirror of Peter, but soon found his script so bloated that he initially toyed with filming two films back-to-back. Spider-Man 3 upped the ante for its special effects; painstaking hours went into crafting the scene in which the Sandman reconstitutes himself, an amputee stuntman was brought in to bolster Spidey’s fight with the Sandman, and Spidey’s iconic black suit was redesigned to emphasis it corrupting his morals. Although it was the most financially successful of Raimi’s Spider-Man films, Spider-Man 3 divided critics; while reviews praised the action and drama and the mixture of humour and visual spectacle, many felt the film was overstuffed with villains and failed to live up to the expectations set by its predecessors. Though accompanied by a comic book tie-in and videogame adaptation, Spider-Man 3 would mark the end of Raimi’s time with the web-slinger. Although plans for a fourth film got as far as casting and storyboarding, they were ultimately scrapped in favour of a complete reboot, though Tobey Maguire and Thomas Hayden Church would later reprise their roles nearly twenty years later for the multiversal epic Spider-Man: No Way Home (Watts, 2021).

The Review:
These days, with superhero films dominating the box office, many of them involving one or more heroes teaming up and a variety of villains, it’s easy to forget both the impact that Sami Raimi’s first two Spider-Man films had and state of the genre back in 2007. Superhero films were cropping up more and more and they didn’t always stick the landing; often, they struggled with too many villains, a lack of fidelity to the source material, or just being a bit of a tonal and narrative mess as studios tried to cash-in on the success of Raimi’s films and 20th Century Fox’s X-Men movies (Various, 2000 to 2020). Still, anticipation was high for Spider-Man 3; Spider-Man 2 was well-regarded as one of the best superhero movies ever made and it ended with a lot of plot threads to carry over into the third film, primarily the inevitable clash between Peter and Harry and the question of whether Mary-Jane Watson/M. J. (Dunst) was truly ready to accept the responsibility of being Spider-Man’s girlfriend. Unfortunately, little else from Spider-Man 2 directly carries over to Spider-Man 3 and this is made evident right from the opening titles, which barely feature Doctor Otto Octavius/Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) or any plot points from the second film beyond those that involve Peter, Harry, and M. J. Regardless, things get off to a decent start; the tension between Peter and Harry is emphasised in the reveal that Harry not only stalks Peter at every opportunity but refuses to listen to his explanations regarding the death of his father, Doctor Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Although Peter doesn’t really make that much of effort to absolve himself of Norman’s murder, Harry’s mind is clouded by rage and stubbornness, which directly lead to him subjecting himself to a version of his father’s Goblin formula to give him the power to go toe-to-toe with his former friend.

Peter’s attempts to propose are interrupted by his inflated ego and the influence of his black suit.

For Peter, life is pretty good; he’s finally found a balance between his dual identities, or at least feels less conflicted now that he has M. J.’s full support. It’s not made clear how much time has passed between the two films (honestly, given how well the actors have aged and the way Peter and Harry treat each other, it feels like it could only be a few weeks) but Peter’s so at peace with himself and the world that he plans to propose to M. J., despite him still living in a crummy apartment and being stiffed on his wages by the cantankerous J. Jonah Jameson (J. K. Simmons). After receiving his Aunt May’s (Rosemary Harris) blessing, Peter heads out to seal the deal, only to be suddenly attacked by Harry, how sporting sleek, Goblin-inspired armour and weapons of his own. Peter battles this…*sigh*…“New Goblin” through the city skies but is both horrified and relieved when Harry takes a nasty bump to the head and recovers with no memory of Spider-Man’s true identity. This brings even more joy to Peter’s life as he rekindles his brotherly relationship with Harry and basks in the adulation of the city as Spider-Man. In fact, Peter’s so blinded by his own success and happiness that he fails to notice that he’s being a bit self-absorbed and that M. J. is having her own issues, faults that cause him to make the bone-headed mistake of kissing Gwen Stacy (Howard) in front of an adoring crowd and completely disregarding M. J.’s struggles to make it as a successful Broadway actress.

Peter’s relationships suffer because of his actions, leading to a brutal brawl with his former best friend.

Despite the fact that she made it into the cast, to the point where she received top billing, M. J.’s producers aren’t happy with the reviews about her performance and summarily drop her from the play, rattling her confidence and digging up bad memories of her childhood under her abusive father. Although she tries to confide in Peter and understand that his superhero commitments make him very busy, a rift forms between them when Peter fails to recognise how upset she is and keeps focusing on his own success. This scuppers Peter’s carefully-planned proposal dinner and drives M. J. to seek comfort from Harry, who’s only too happy to make time for her now that he’s rediscovered his carefree personality. They grow so close that they even share a brief kiss, though M. J. quickly comes to her senses and leaves before anything else can happen. This humiliation is enough for Harry’s mind to snap once more; visions of his dead father restore his memories and he resumes his vendetta against Spider-Man. He targets M. J. and blackmails her into breaking up with Peter, breaking his heart, and then twists the knife in further by insinuating that he and M. J. are having a love affair. Although Harry plays this conniving, manipulative role well, he can’t resist revelling in Peter’s anguish, meaning Peter immediately figures out that Harry has been using M. J. against him but, by that point, Peter is not only consumed by rage and ego but also fuelled by the negative impulses of his black suit. When Peter confronts Harry in the Osborn home, a brutal fight to the death breaks out between them; previously, Peter simply tried to avoid and quell Harry’s rage but, this time, he unleashes the full extent of his power and easily manhandles his former friend. Stubborn to the last, Harry attempts to blow Peter up with a pumpkin bomb, only to have the explosive tossed back in his face, permanently scarring him and leaving him an embittered recluse.

The Sandman might do bad things with good intentions but his mistakes raise Spidey’s ire.

Peter’s good mood is shattered when he and Aunt May are randomly called into the office of police captain George Stacy (James Cromwell) and told that they’ve been sitting on evidence for the last few years that proves thief Dennis Carradine (Michael Papajohn) didn’t killed Peter’s beloved Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson). Instead, Carradine is retroactively revealed to have been working with a partner, Flint Marko, who recently (somehow…) escaped from jail. Peter had already had a run-in with Marko not long before this, but by that point the crook had already conveniently fallen into a random particle accelerator and been molecularly altered into a living man of sand. Now able to shift and alter his appearance at will, becoming almost intangible and rock-hard, the Sandman easily robs armoured cars to steal the cash he needs to help his critically ill daughter, Penny (Perla Haney-Jardine), as well as fend off Spider-Man when he inevitably arrives to stop him. Now armed with the knowledge that the Sandman killed his uncle, Peter seethes and obsesses over tracking down the thug and make him pay out of a combination of guilt over the death of both Uncle Ben and Dennis Carradine and the aggression encouraged by his mysterious black suit. Although generally a sympathetic and reluctant villain in the comics, the Sandman is reconfigured into a tragic figure here; he’s painted as a good man driven to crime and hampered by poor choices, and carrying a sense of guilt and responsibility over the evils he’s done and his love for his sick daughter. However, Peter has little time for the Sandman’s sob story and willingly succumbs to the black suit’s influence when they fight in the New York subway. Spider-Man angrily confronts the Sandman over his murderous actions and attacks without quarter, eventually dissolving him into a gloopy, muddy mess with a dismissive “Good riddance!” As if this battle didn’t hammer it home enough, Peter’s discussion with Aunt May reveals that he fully intended to kill the Sandman to make him pay for what he’d done. However, despite being heartbroken by Ben’s loss, May makes it clear that revenge is never the answer and lays the groundwork for Peter finding the courage to forgive the Sandman for his misguided actions.

Peter’s personality is corrupted by the symbiote, which finds a willing host in demented Eddie Brock.

That takes a bit of time, though, as Peter is under the poisonous influence of a mysterious alien goo that randomly (and conveniently) crashed to Earth right by his scooter. Latching on to him in the midst of a terrible nightmare, the viscous substance (later identified by Doctor Curt Connors (Dylan Baker) as a “symbiote”) turns Peter’s colourful costume a deep black and enhances his abilities considerably, granting him a strength and sense of exhilaration beyond his usual web-slinging. However, it also feeds and enhances his negative emotions; anger, fear, and aggression are all heightened by the creature, but Peter is so captivated by the allure of the black suit that he can’t deny himself its power when he gets a lead on the Sandman. Like an addict who doesn’t know when to quit, Peter wears the black suit under his clothes, caressing and stroking it, and even alters his appearance to match the sense of confidence and power the suit inspires in him. After his confrontations with Harry and the Sandman, Peter fully gives in to this rush, parading himself down the street like a dork and believing he’s God’s gift to the world. He all-but-demands a permanent position at the Daily Bugle, takes Gwen to a jazz bar and performs an elaborate dance number to make M. J. jealous, and angrily confronts rival photographer Edward “Eddie” Brock Jr. (Grace) over his doctored pictures of Spider-Man. However, after lashing out at M. J. in a rage, Peter finally sees that the suit is turning him into a literal and metaphorical monster. Fleeing to a church, he tries to remove the suit and is shocked to find that it truly is a living organism. Although the symbiote desperately tries to defend itself, it’s driven off Peter’s body by the ringing of the church bell, leaving him guilt-ridden and despondent over his recent actions, but the creature finds itself a new host when it latches onto Eddie. A snivelling little creep of a man, Eddie is driven to begging the All-Mighty to avenge his recent slights after failing to win Gwen’s heart or cheat his way into a full-time job. This bitterness and borderline psychopathy is all the symbiote needs to birth the film’s third villain, a “strange black-suited figure” (because he’s never referred to as “Venom” onscreen), and immediately set about making Peter pay for his actions.

The Nitty-Gritty:
There’s a lot happening in Spider-Man 3; so much so that it’s difficult to watch and not think about how easy it would’ve been to streamline things. I get that Sam Raimi was basically forced to include Venom in the film and I can see how that might’ve clashed with his ideas for the final entry, but just doing another couple of script rewrites really would’ve helped tighten things up because, as is, there’s just too much crammed in here. This is one of the few times where I would’ve been happy to see the film split into two parts to actually do Venom justice, but a far easier solution would’ve been to omit Eddie Brock entirely and just have the symbiote attach itself to Harry. Yes, it goes against the comic lore, but I think it would’ve tied in perfectly with the film’s themes of obsession, revenge, and forgiveness. Plus, it’s not like the Venom mantle hasn’t been assumed by others before. I also think the Sandman should’ve either stayed dead after his fight with Symbiote Spider-Man or been revealed to be alive in a post-credits scene (either using him emerging from the sewer as seen in the film or by repurposing a cut scene with his daughter), which not only would’ve made the final fight between Spider-Man and Venom/Harry less of a cluttered mess but also would’ve shown that the symbiote’s influence had real consequences for Peter as he would’ve had to live with the guilt of killing another man (or, at least, assuming he had).

Some odd decisions, cringe-worthy scenes, and pointless retcons bog down an already bloated film.

However, there is a decent film in here somewhere, it’s just buried beneath odd decisions, bizarre sequences, and a whole mess of characters. Did we really need Gwen Stacy in this when she barely has any relevance to the plot, for example? She’s nothing like her comic book counterpart and is literally there to emphasise what a creep Eddie is. She doesn’t even have a rivalry with M. J. or factor into the climax, so it feels like she was shoe-horned in as fan service more than anything. Peter’s cornball demeanour once he gives into the black suit is also extremely cringey; many have come to defend this decision, claiming that Peter is living out his idea of what it means to be “cool” and I totally get that he would have this dorky perception of what’s “hip” and such. But it’s surreal to see him strutting down the street and then doing this cartoonish dance number in the jazz club that’s immediately juxtaposed with him smacking M. J. and being so wracked by guilt that he goes and broods in the rain on a church! Spider-Man 3 also commits the cardinal sin of retconning the character’s origin to awkwardly wedge Flint Marko in as the man who killed Uncle Ben. Just…why? People moaned to high heaven when this happened in Batman (Burton, 1989) and it just confuses things here. Spider-Man 3 has the perfect means to tell its story of forgiveness in the Peter and Harry story. It didn’t need to complicate matters by forcing a link between him and the Sandman, especially as Marko already had a perfectly understandable and relatable tragic motivation that’s barely touched upon no matter how many times he stares at that damn locket. And then there’s the weird side plot of Harry’s amnesia. Again, I get it, they wanted to show how deep the bond between Harry and Peter is and explore their relationship as brothers, but it just leads to more goofball scenes and unnecessary drama between Peter and M. J. I feel like a similar outcome could’ve been achieved by just having Harry play mind games with Peter throughout the movie, especially if he adopted some of Eddie’s comic book antics and used his knowledge of Peter’s identity against him. And don’t even get me started on this “New Goblin” crap. Just make him the damn Hobgoblin! They even made a damn mask!

Unfortunately, all the impressive visuals and action sequences can’t counterbalance the muddled plot.

Luckily, amidst all of this negativity, Spider-Man 3 has some of the best action sequences and special effects of the entire trilogy. The mid-air fight between Peter and Harry may suffer from a little too much obvious green screen, but it’s far more versatile and fluid compared to the battles between Spidey and the Green Goblin, which were a bit clunky and grounded at times. While I have little love for the Sandman and could take or leave his inclusion, he does allow for some more visually interesting fight scenes. Seeing Spidey punch right through Marko, blast him into particles, and be smashed by his rock-hard appendages makes for some fun sequences. Unfortunately, all this goodwill is undone in the climax where any personality and nuance the Sandman has is completely washed away as he adopts a gigantic, mindless, rampaging sand monster form that, while intimidating and a suitable escalation of his threat, pales in comparison to the surprising emotional depth he shows beforehand, particularly in the admittedly beautiful and heart-breaking scene where Marko first pulls himself together after his accident. As ever, the Spidey suit looks great but it looks even better in black. While I prefer the classic white logo for the symbiote suit, saving it for Venom was a great idea to help him stand out more (even if it doesn’t make much sense for him to randomly have a big-ass symbol) and I loved the twisted, torn webbing and claws used on Venom. Indeed, the fact that Venom barely appears in the film and only for the finale is a massive disservice to both the character and his look in the film. Venom may lack the bulk and plural identifiers, but he looks fantastic when he’s got his claws out and is adopting his ironic, drooling, fang-filled visage. As much as I rag on the film, I do enjoy the visuals of the climax; seeing the construction site covered in Venom’s twisted webbing, the monstrous Sandman looming, and Venom screeching and attacking from the shadows makes for a very different and intense finale. It’s just a shame it’s intercut with cringe-inducing performances from tertiary characters.

Through the sacrifice of his friend and letting go of his hate, Peter earns a bittersweet ending.

After shedding the symbiote, Peter is left trying to pick up the pieces of his fractured life; M. J. has rejected him and is ready to leave town, he’s tried to kill his best friend, and his reputation has been sullied somewhat by his poor decisions. Thankfully, Eddie easily tracks down the Sandman and convinces him to forge a partnership, one primarily based on Eddie avenging himself on Peter by humiliating him and taking away his true love. Unlike Peter, who realised the damaging influence of the symbiote, Eddie is only too happy to give into it’s power (“I like being bad. It makes me happy!”) and refuses to listen to reason since he’s so consumed by hatred and a twisted sense of injustice. Ultimately, he’s unable to resist the power and temptation offered by the symbiote and perishes (quite violently) in a grenade blast, a disappointingly weak ending for a disappointingly weak version of Venom. However, Eddie does leave a lasting impression on Peter by delivering a fatal blow to Harry, who heroically sacrifices his life to save his best friend. Unfortunately, as cool as it is to see Peter and Harry team up for the finale (and it really is an awesome feel-good moment with some great team-up attacks from the two), it comes after Harry’s entire philosophy and vendetta is reversed thanks to a pep talk by his family butler, Bernard Houseman (John Paxton), who decided to wait until the last minute to be honest. Although the result is seeing Harry and Peter set aside their differences and finally make peace as Harry dies in his friends’ arms, this random revelation really detracts from it and takes all the agency out of Harry’s character. The Sandman is equally rattled by all the death; he regrets his actions and tries to justify them, and it’s clear that a massive weight lifts from his shoulders when Peter forgives him (why he let him get away is beyond me, though). Unlike the last two Spider-Man films, Spider-Man 3 ends on an emotional note with Peter having learned valuable lessons about forgiveness and him and M. J. sharing an emotional embrace, apparently ready to start over, rather than ending on a high with the traditional final swing.

The Summary: 
Spider-Man 3 just can’t help but be a disappointment. There’s just way too much happening in it, too many missteps and odd decisions, and too much of that goodwill tossed aside to rate it much higher. It’s such a shame, too, as it could’ve been an emotional and intense finale to Sam Raimi’s trilogy if only another attempt had been taken at the script to tidy things up. I just can’t help but think it would’ve been so much better to drop Eddie Brock and have Harry become Venom as a nice compromise between the filmmakers because the desperation to do everything and please everyone just results in a disappointing effort. It’s doubly disappointing for me as I’m a huge Venom fan and Venom did look really fantastic for the few minutes he was onscreen, but they really deserved their own dedicated movie or to be incorporated better to justify including them. Although I didn’t really like the forced drama between Peter and the Sandman, I did enjoy how human and relatable Flint Marko was. Ultimately, though, he feels like a bit of an afterthought and the only reason you remember him is because they made an unnecessary retcon to the first film. The drama between Harry and Peter was honestly strong enough to carry the entire film but it’s lost between all the other moving parts and has its legs completely cut out from under it by the amnesia side plot and that damn butler! Sadly, all the effects and impressive visuals in the world can’t salvage this film, which will forever go down as one of the genre’s biggest missed opportunities no matter how hard people try and defend it.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Spider-Man 3? Where does it rank for you against the many other Spider-Man movies? What did you think to Peter’s struggles with the temptation of the black suit? Were you also disappointed by the execution and screen time of Venom? What did you think to Harry’s character arc and were you sad to see him die a hero in the end? What changes would you have made to the film to try and salvage it? Whatever your opinion on Spider-Man 3, leave a comment and be sure to check out my other Spider-Man content.

Movie Night: Deadpool & Wolverine

Dr. K4 Comments

Released: 26 July 2024
Director: Shawn Levy
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Budget: $200 million
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin, Matthew Macfadyen, and Aaron Stanford

The Plot:
Struggling with doubt, Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Reynolds) jumps at the chance to join the “Sacred Timeline” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). However, when he learns the cost is his universe, he scours the multiverse to recruit a disillusioned version of James “Logan” Howlett/Wolverine (Jackman) to help save his loved ones.

The Background:
Created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld in 1991, Deadpool as originally an X-Force antagonist before his self-aware humour and creative violence catapulted him to mainstream popularity. This eventually led to his live-action debut in the much-maligned X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Hood, 2009), with Ryan Reynolds finally assuming the role, with a spin-off teased. However, after X-Men Origins and the Reynolds-led Green Lantern (Campbell, 2011) flopped, 20th Century Fox got cold feet about producing an expensive, R-rated superhero movie. However, after director Tim Miller’s early test footage mysteriously leaked online, the positive reaction saw Fox backpedal, resulting in a critical and commercial success for the “Merc with a Mouth”. Deadpool’s (Miller, 2016) success naturally led to a sequel; Deadpool 2 (Leitch, 2018) upped the ante with an increased budget and bringing in Josh Brolin as fan favourite, time travelling cyborg Nathanial “Nate” Summers/Cable, and was met with similar success, and Disney higher ups were adamant about including Deadpool in the MCU after their acquisition of 20th Century Fox. During development, Reynolds was contacted by Hugh Jackman – who had famously retired from his iconic Wolverine role in Logan (Mangold, 2017) – and, despite concerns about undoing that film’s poignant ending, actively lobbied to portray an alternative version of the character for a long-awaited team-up. Finally garbed in a comic book-accurate suit courtesy of costume designers Graham Churchyard and Mayes C. Rubeo, Jackman joined Reynolds for what was to be a love letter to the X-Men films (Various, 2000 to 2020) and their legacy, as well as a slew of fan service cameos. After enduring the SAG-AFTRA strike, Deadpool and Wolverine released to largely positive reviews; critics praised Jackman’s return and the film’s buddy comedy/road trip vibes, and that it remained true to the raunchy humour of the previous films. Though some criticised its shallow plot, Reynolds’ performance was lauded and the film quickly became Disney’s highest-grossing R-rated release, bringing in over $1.300 billion and seemingly cementing the character’s place in the future of the MCU.

The Review:
It was genuinely shocking, and heartbreaking, when Logan finally met his end in Logan. After living and fighting and struggling for so long, after an unprecedented run from an actor in a role, the character was finally laid to rest. So, naturally, Deadpool & Wolverine opens with Deadpool digging up Logan’s corpse, convinced he’s still alive, and then massacring an army of soldiers from the Time Variance Authority (TVA) with the dead Mutant’s Adamantium skeleton, even donning Logan’s signature claws at one point, all to the tune of NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”. It turns out that Wade’s life took a bit of a downturn after Deadpool 2; he struggled with his mercenary lifestyle and his place in the world, pushing his lover, Vanessa Carlysle (Morena Baccarin) away after everything he did to save her life and ending up selling used cars in a bad toupee alongside Peter Wisdom (Rob Delaney). While celebrating his birthday alongside his returning supporting cast, Wade is accosted by the TVA and brought to Mr. Paradox (Macfadyen) at their headquarters. Despite Wade’s flagrant misuse of Cable’s time machine in Deadpool 2 (and him using it to sidestep into the MCU and lobby for application with the Avengers), the TVA are seeking to recruit him rather than “prune” him. Wade’s told that Logan’s tragic death is causing his universe to collapse; since Logan was an “Anchor Being”, Earth-10005 literally cannot sustain itself without him and will die out in a few thousand years. Wade’s given the opportunity to avoid this fate and join the MCU (Earth-616), finally taking his rightful place alongside Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and proving that he matters not just to himself, but to Vanessa and the entire world.

Deadpool recruits a jaded version of Wolverine to save his world, and the two naturally clash..

However, Deadpool’s dreams of raking in the Disney cash are quickly dashed when Mr. Paradox immediately reveals that he doesn’t care for Earth-10005 and has aspirations to take over the TVA and take a more direct approach to such events. Realising that Mr. Paradox’s “Time Ripper” device will destroy his world and everyone he loves within 72 hours, Deadpool immediately defies the TVA, steals once of their time devices, and embarks on a short jaunt throughout the multiverse to find a “Variant” of Wolverine to replace his one. After some fun homages and being attacked at every turn, he finally finds a disillusioned Wolverine drowning his sorrows in a bar. However, when Mr. Paradox scoffs at the idea of this Variant (widely known as the “worst” version of Wolverine) could ever replace Logan, he zaps the two to the “Void”, a barren wasteland filled with discarded remnants from deleted or forgotten timelines. While Deadpool is determined to find a way back and safe his universe, Wolverine has no interest and lashes out at Wade at every turn for getting him involved. Surly, jaded, and wracked with guilt after failing to save his X-Men, this Wolverine may wear the most comic accurate suit of any live-action portrayal (not counting some of his other Variants seen in this film) but he’s not interested in playing the hero anymore. Deadpool and Wolverine’s relationship is antagonistic and strained from the start; Logan is constantly frustrated by Wade’s motormouth and is incensed to find Deadpool lied to him to get him to help. The banter and interactions between Jackman and Reynolds are the highlight of the film, as are their many bloody fights against and alongside each other. The two bounce off each other so well, with Deadpool being like an annoying, peppy, snarky younger brother to the older, cynical Wolverine. Wolverine’s attitude towards Deadpool is only further soured when his childishness and blatant lies cause newfound allies to be killed, yet he’s forced to help the Merc with a Mouth on the slim chance that Logan’s timeline can be corrected and his mistakes can be undone.

Nova sets her sights on the TVA’s tech and is protected by a misfit army of Variants.

Unfortunately for the two, they’re stuck with each other in a desolate world outside of time, one filled with cameos, Easter Eggs, and Variants who are both out to help and hider them. The first they encounter, Johnny Storm/The Human Torch (Chris Evans), tells them that the Void is not only constantly preyed upon by the monstrous Alioth but also ruled over by the psychotic Cassandra Nova (Corrin), the telepathic twin sister of Professor Charles Xavier/Professor X (Patrick Stewart/James McAvoy) who resides within the colossal skeletal remains of Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd). Nova, who was sent to the Void by the TVA as a child, has known nothing but hardship. Resentful towards her brother and craving only power, she has a tentative arrangement with Mr. Paradox to dispose of his trash, but is delighted to finally have a Wolverine in her midst. Unlike Xavier, Nova prefers to get (literally) hands-on when probing her victim’s minds, twisting their memories and reality to learn their secrets and showcasing incredible recuperative powers as well as telekinesis. Surrounding by an army of disgruntled cast-offs (including right-hand-man John Allerdyce/Pyro (Stanford), Cain Marko/Juggernaut (Aaron W. Reed), and cameos from other disposable Brotherhood characters), Nova makes a sport of torturing and executing both her enemies and allies. Although she shows a glimmer of humanity when she learns of her brother’s loving ways from Wolverine, her desire for conquest is sparked when she learns of Mr. Paradox’s Time Ripper and she doesn’t hesitate to leave the Void via a stolen Sling Ring to get her hands on it, determined to eradicate world after world until all that’s left is the Void’s blissful emptiness. Although Deadpool and Wolverine can take on Nova’s minions (with some help), they’re no mater for her in a one-on-one fight due to her incredible psychic powers. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s an entire legion of Deadpool Variants wandering the Void, all of them devoted to protecting Nova, and this army of wise-cracking psychos literally stands between our heroes and their target in the finale, leading to one of the best and bloodiest action sequences in the film, made all the more enjoyable not just by Logan’s happiness at slaughtering so many Deadpools but him finally donning his comic accurate mask!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Considering Deadpool & Wolverine is largely focused on delivering the much-needed spectacle of seeing the titular characters interact and cut each other to ribbons, the film has a surprising emotional depth. I guess this shouldn’t actually be that surprising as the previous films had an unexpected pathos to them as well, but it’s incredibly effective here. While still a loquacious, self-referential, crude dervish, Wade is struggling with his purpose in life. When Harold “Happy” Hogan (Jon Favreau) rejects his application to the Avengers, Wade enters a slump so deep that Vanessa leaves him, he gives up his mercenary ways, and he’s resigned to a boring, normal life. He’s elated at the idea of joining the MCU but cannot bring himself to sacrifice his loved ones to do so, and is so determined to stop Mr. Paradox that he defies the entire TVA. However, it’s through Wolverine that the film finds most of its emotion. While similar to the Wolverine we knew and loved, this one is notably different; he’s at the bottom of the barrel, regularly drinks away his pain, and is wracked by guilt after his selfish actions caused the death of the X-Men and persecution of Mutants on his world. He’s dismissive of his counterpart’s more heroic stature and openly scoffs at Wade’s aspirations to save his world, but his heart is still flickering beneath his pain. Its flame is once again fanned by Laura Kinney/X-23 (Dafne Keen), who’s heartfelt thanks to Logan convince him to oppose Nova, and by the finale he’s even prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice once again to save Wade’s world and gain some redemption. While Logan was a perfect swansong for the character and actor, Jackman continues to nail Logan and bring new nuance to the role. He’s in phenomenal shape for his age and better than ever here as an unhinged, broken version of the character, and it’s a delight not just to see him back but to see him donning the iconic costume and portraying other Wolverine Variants, such as Patch, Age of Apocalypse, a hilarious pint-sized Variant,  and even one in the middle of a fight against Doctor Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). However, he does have some competition for the role when Deadpool briefly meets a gruff and buff variation played by Henry Cavill!

Violent, crude, and packed with cameos, Deadpool & Wolverine also features some surprising pathos.

Although some were sceptical that Disney could stay true to Deadpool’s R-rated roots, Deadpool & Wolverine is just as crude and bloody as its predecessors. Wade has lost none of his fourth-wall-breaking charm, regularly making digs at Disney, MCU head honcho Kevin Feige, 20th Century Fox, and even the mixed reception of the MCU’s fourth phase of movies. Both he and Wolverine cuss up a storm here, ripping into each other and their enemies (and allies) with quips, barbs, and even “fucks” to make a vicar blush. Not only that but the two regularly engage in bloody fights with each other; since both are functionally immortal and have rapid healing, they can carve seven kinds of shit out of each other all day and never get tired. While this could get boring, the film mixes up their fights and has them engage in a barroom scuffle, and all-out knife fight in the Void, and a brutal punch-up in a car! The action continues as their fights are momentarily derailed to focus on Nova’s underlings, including a short (but satisfying) rematch between Wolverine and Victor Creed/Sabretooth (Tyler Mane), and a massive brawl against Nova’s ragtag army. Although Johnny meets a rather gruesome end thanks to Wade’s motormouth, Deadpool and Wolverine are regularly aided by “Nicepool” (Reynolds) and his super-ugly pup, Mary Poppins/Dogpool (Peggy). X-23 also brings them to Elektra Natchios (Jennifer Garner), Eric Brooks/Blade (Wesley Snipes), and Remy LeBeau/Gambit (Channing Tatum), forgotten characters who are eager to have their chance in the limelight. These cameos were some of the best and most unexpected parts of the film; never in a million years would I have thought Snipes and Reynolds would work together again, but he’s still got it as Blade and (while I’m not fan of his) Tatum overdelivered in finally getting to play Gambit. It was also fun seeing Evans swear like a trooper as Johnny and to see X-23 all grown up, still as ferocious as ever. Although Deadpool’s other Variants remain masked, this army of psychos was quite the highlight as well; we had a Lady Deadpool (Unknown/Blake Lively), a “Cowboypool” (voiced by Matthew McConaughey), a disembodied floating head (voiced by Nathan Fillion), samurai Deadpool, Deadpool 2099, and so many others (though, strangely, no “Barakapool”).. The cost of all these amazing cameos and returning characters was the side-lining of Deadpool’s supporting cast, who mainly bookend the film, with the exception of Peter, who’s presence is enough to stop the Deadpools from fighting since all of them love him in every reality!

Deadpool and Wolverine must set aside their differences to stop Nova from destroying the multiverse.

Trapped in the Void, Deadpool and Wolverine’s only way home is through Cassandra Nova. Thus, wade convince Elektra, Blade, Gambit, and X-23 to help them storm Nova’s compound and get them home. While they’re able to appeal to her humanity to help them, she soon follows, eager to get her hands on the Time Ripper, and Deadpool and Wolverine have to lice and dice their way through the Deadpool army to get to her. Thanks, as mentioned, to Peter, they reach the TVA facility, where Nova has forcibly coerced Mr. Paradox into activating the machine. The only ay to stop it is for one of them to connect the matter/anti-matter coils, an act that would vaporise them instantly. Reinvigorated by this time with Deadpool, Wolverine offers (almost begs) to take the fall and redeem himself in death, but Deadpool swaps places with him at the last minute, determined to give Logan a second chance and prove that he’s worthy as a hero. With time running out and Deadpool struggling to connect the wires, Wolverine joins him and, together, they endure the strain of the connection, creating a feedback loop that destroys Nova and has the unexpected side effect of saving Earth-10005 from destruction. Although Mr. Paradox tries to talk himself out of a reprimand, he’s scuppered when the Mutants survive their ordeal and turn him in to Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku), who agrees to free Deadpool’s allis from the Void but refuses to change Logan’s world since those experiences made him into a hero. Victorious, Deadpool and Wolverine make amends, finding common ground from shawarma and their adventure, and Wade invites him to meet his friends, restoring Wolverine to Earth-10005. Although the post-credits scene is nothing to shout about and simply shows Johnny Strom cussing out Cassandra Nova, a beautiful tribute to the 20th Century Fox Marvel films plays during the credits that shows the love and heart that went into the X-Men films, in particular, and shows that Marvel Studios are more than willing to acknowledge their presence and contribution to the genre.

The Summary:
The promise of seeing Deadpool and Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, match wits and weapons in live-action has been an enticing one for fifteen years, ever since Reynolds took his first tentative steps into the role. Even after Deadpool got a second chance and became a solo success, a team-up between the two has been teased and it seemed we’d never get it after Logan’s poignant end. While I had no doubt we’d see Deadpool transition into the MCU, I never expected Jackman to return to his iconic role beyond a sly cameo here and there, so to se the two finally together, in uncompromising action and wearing glorious comic-accurate suits, was a joy. Deadpool & Wolverine might alienate some who haven’t been keeping up with the MCU’s multiverse shenanigans, but it goes out of its way to emphasis time and again that this Wolverine is a different version to what we’ve seen before and Jackman delivers probably his best performance as the character to date. His Wolverine is at his lowest end, bad-tempered and burdened by impossible guilt, and quick to animalistic violence. He’s the gruff “straight man” to Deadpool’s wacky, outrageous humour and the two have such chemistry that every interaction and punch thrown is a delight. Seeing Wade go to such lengths to save his loved ones and prove himself is as emotional as seeing Wolverine try one last time to do the right thing, with both having to overcome incredible emotional baggage to save the world despite neither being the right man for the job. Emma Corrin made for an unsettling villain; a twisted version of Professor X, she’s both unhinged and psychotic, perfectly matching Deadpool’s eccentricities and Wolverine’s ferocity, and I liked that she was powerful enough that they had to think of other ways to stop her. Of course, a huge highlight of the film is all the cameos, Easter Eggs, and returning characters, allowing Deadpool & Wolverine to not just be a homage to the X-Men movies but also an acknowledgement of the Marvel properties that paved the way for the MCU. It’s stuffed with crude humour, gratuitous violence and swearing, and fanboy pandering in all the right ways, making Deadpool & Wolverine a fantastic step in the right direction for the MCU and laying the foundation for further fan service later down the line.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Did you enjoy Deadpool & Wolverine? Were you excited to see the two finally team up, and to see Hugh Jackman back as Wolverine? What did you think to Wolverine’s comic-accurate costume? Which cameo was your favourite and which did you least expect? What did you think to Cassandra Nova as a threat and which of the fight scenes was your favourite? Which of the X-Men films was your favourite and how do you think the X-Men will be introduced into the MCU? Whatever your thoughts on Deadpool, Wolverine, and the X-Men, drop a comment below.

Movie Night: Red Heat

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Released: 17 June 1988
Director: Walter Hill
Distributor: Tri-Star Pictures
Budget: $29 million (estimated)
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Ed O’Ross, Larry Fishburne, and Peter Boyle

The Plot:
When drug kingpin Viktor Rostavili (O’Ross) kills Captain Ivan Danko’s (Schwarzenegger) partner and flees to the United States, Danko is partnered with Chicago police detective Art Ridzik (Belushi). Echoing the tensions between the US and the Soviet Union, the odd couple must set aside their differences to keep Rostavili from smuggling cocaine into Russia.

The Background:
Following the end of the Second World War, the United States and the Soviet Union frequently clashed in a “Cold War”, a nearly-fifty-year political stalemate in which the threat of all-out nuclear annihilation was high as tensions escalated between the two superpowers. Consequently, Russians were frequently vilified in Hollywood productions, characterised as stoic, almost machine-like, and cruel, with perhaps the most memorable fictional Russian being the ice-cold genetic freak Captain Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren). In 1987, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover saw critical and financial success as mis-matched police officers in Lethal Weapon (Donner, 1987), which inspired a slew of similar odd-couple, buddy cop action/comedies. With Arnold Schwarzenegger a hot commodity after the success of The Terminator (Cameron, 1984), writer/director Walter Hill combined these two elements into the basic premise of Red Heat and approached Schwarzenegger to star. Despite the lack of a complete script, Schwarzenegger agree to join the production based on Hill’s success with the buddy cop hit 48 Hrs. (Hill, 1982), and Hill purposely aimed to tone down Schwarzenegger’s bombastic persona in favour of a more realistic performance. Schwarzenegger was joined by comedy actor James Belushi, who saw the contentious relationship between their characters as the heart of the movie above all else. With a $34.9 million box office, Red Heat was a modest financial success; it briefly held the number one spot at the box office, but was met with mixed reviews. Many criticised the gratuitous violence and middling pace, though the film has since been seen as a cult classic. Since today is Arnold’s birthday, this is the perfect time to revisit the film and see if it’s worthy of being classified as an under-rated entry in Schwarzenegger’s filmography.

The Review:
Red Heat begins, appropriately enough, in the frigid yet architecturally stunning city of Moscow. There we find Yuri Ogarkov (Oleg Vidov) amidst a bunch of surly, beefed-up Russians and naked babes working out and relaxing in a gym; among them is Captain Ivan Danko, who seemingly fits right in with his intense, stone-faced expression and peak, Olympian physique. They’re there looking for a lead on drug baron Viktor Rostavili, but Danko is forced to take a more direct approach when he’s challenged by the other men. Luckily, Danko is more than capable, handling a boiling-hot stone without flinching and easily beating the shit out of his hulking attackers despite wearing nothing but a little shawl to cover his modesty. The fight spills to the outside where, in the freezing snow, Danko absorbs some comically enhanced shots and demands information on Viktor’s whereabouts, learning that he’s holed up at the Druzhba Café. After a tense confrontation and a shoot-out (that includes the amusing reveal that Rostavili’s underling is hiding cocaine in his artificial leg), Danko pursues and guns down Rostavili’s brother, Vagran (Gábor Koncz), but the man himself manages to slip away after surprising Yuri with a spring-loaded pistol attached to his wrist. Though impassive at his friend’s funeral, Danko is clearly seething and grateful to be given the chance to retrieve Rostavili from Chicago.

Ridzik’s hot-headed temperament clashes with Danko’s more subdued demeanour.

While Danko is introduced as a serious, focused man who’s all business on the job, the opposite is true of Art Ridzik, who we first meet ogling women, much to the exasperation of Lieutenant Charlie Stobbs (Fishburne) and Sergeant Max Gallagher (Richard Bright). A natural smart mouth who’s become somewhat disillusioned with the daily grind of the job, Ridzik’s outspoken and cynical nature rubs his superiors the wrong way since he’d rather make snappy quips than focus on the job. Although he facies himself a ladies’ man, Ridzik is beset by rejections at every turn, which he brushes off with a casual disinterest, though he’s frustrated by Stobbs’ low opinion of him (but, it has to be said, not enough to actually buck up his ideas, knuckle down, and be less snarky and lackadaisical). Ridzik almost immediately gets on the wrong side of Danko with his irritating curiosity and sarcastic nature; Ridzik sees chaperoning and being lumbered with Danko as a shitty deal, one akin to babysitting, which is a constant headache to his overly stressed superior, Commander Lou Donnelly (Boyle). Hot-headed and trigger happy, Ridzik is eventually shown to be incensed when Rostavili’s goons callously gun down Gallagher to rescue their boss and at being constantly left in the dark (and the lurch) by Danko’s standoffish nature. Although their personalities and methods clash and Ridzik is irritated at being stuck with “Gumby” and having to deal with his strait-laced, blunt attitude, Ridzik proves invaluable to Danko’s investigation. He takes him to visit the enigmatic, blind, drug dealer Abdul Elijah (Brent Jennings) in prison and learns that Rostavili has been working with the local street gangs to smuggle cocaine into Moscow. Unfortunately, whether because of cruel fate or his own abrasive behaviour and questionable methods, Ridzik is beset by misfortune no matter how hard he tries; he gets hot coffee splashed on his crotch, is forced to endure a tetanus shot, and is constantly being reprimanded even for things out of his control. However, he and Danko have more in common than they’d care to admit, which ultimately leads to them reaching a mutual respect and understanding when it comes to nailing Rostavili by any means necessary.

Danko’s blunt methods and standoffish personality bring major headaches for Ridzig.

Although Danko is generally portrayed as a stoic and almost emotionless machine (especially compared to his more emotional and bombastic peers in Chicago) and with an extremely strong sense of duty, he’s not above moments of levity and emotion. He owns a parakeet that he’s extremely protective of, is clearly rattled when his superiors blame him for Rostavili’s escape (even though he did nothing wrong), and shown to have a close relationship with Yuri, one that sees him both amused by his partner’s brand of banter and driven into an obsession towards Rostavili, whom he relentlessly pursues to make pay not just for the laundry list of crimes he’s perpetrated against the Soviet Union, but for Yuri’s death as well. Upon landing in Chicago, Danko doesn’t waste time or words getting right down to business; he bluntly greets his peers and impassively liaises with Donnelly and his officers simply to get his hands on Rostavili and reacts with stoic disinterest when Donnelly and even Ridzik challenge his aggressive methods and unlicensed firearm. Danko’s standoffish demeanour is exacerbated not just by the tensions surrounding the two nations but by his direct orders not to air Russia’s political and social problems in public, and his obvious embarrassment regarding the violent past of his country. It also doesn’t help that he’s largely disgusted by the decadent West and the excess of Capitalism; he despairs at their lack of discipline, the lawlessness of their streets, and their obsession with sex and debauchery. Danko’s has a very methodical approach to his job (even though all he has is a mysterious locker key to go on) and is granted license by Donnelly to continue his investigation since he’s a “loose cannon” that will either get results or take the fall through his actions, but not above being reprimanded when he pushes his luck too far. An extremely private individual, Danko reluctantly shares details of his life and career with Ridzik, revealing a morbid background that has hardened him into an instrument of uncompromising justice, yet even he shows sympathy towards deluded fitness trainer Catherine “Cat” Manzetti (Gina Gershon), just one of many women Rostavili has wooed into marrying him and acting as a patsy for his operations out of misguided devotion.

Rosta is a cruel manipulator with an underused gimmick who plots to spread cocaine throughout Moscow.

Rostavili (who has taken the clever alias Viktor Rosta) is depicted as a reprehensible and callous criminal, one who is seen as a poison to the great Soviet Union because he floods Moscow with drugs and threatens to upset the strict, carefully maintained balance of law and order. A snarling, embittered Georgian man who feels slighted by prejudice towards his people, Rosta has nothing but disgust for authority, especially the Moscow Militsiya, and delights in defying them both explicitly and in the peddling of cocaine. Rosta flees to Chicago after being outed in Moscow and immediately sets himself up as the newest crime boss in town; alongside his fellow Georgians, he establishes an intricate network of underworld contacts and associates and a simple system of communication using go-fers, telephone booths, and torn bills to peddle his wares with the aim of smuggling $5 million worth of cocaine into Moscow using local gangs and even a shame marriage, one he ends in brutal fashion after Cat tries to escape his clutches, revealing himself to be as calculating as he is cruel. Unfortunately, a disruption in his operation causes him to get a little sloppy and be arrested for speeding, alerting Moscow to his presence and causing Danko to pursue him with a vengeance. Although Rosta escapes custody, he loses the key to his drug stash in the process, and this naturally becomes his primary goal; he lures Danko into an ambush and attempts to first appeal to his patriotism and then bribe him into handing it over, to no avail, much to Rosta’s disgust. Rosta then has his assassin, Josip Baroda (Tengiz Borisoff), impersonate a nurse to murder his own man (Roger Callard) before he can talk, before using his gang buddies as bait to distract Danko so he can retrieve his key and callously murdering Cat, bringing major heat on both Danko and Ridzik.

The Nitty-Gritty:
As was often the case around this time, the depiction of the Soviet Union and Russians is greatly exaggerated for comedic effect. Well, I say that but for all I know Russians really were massive, surly, patriotic robots during this time, but just going by the bombastic soundtrack and the in-your-face presentation of Moscow and Russian culture as this uncompromising and ruthless society makes me assume that these elements were enhanced to paint them comedic opposites to the more laidback and carefree United States. This forms much of the film’s comedy; Danko’s peers and superiors mock America’s theatricality, Danko (regal in his pressed uniform) stands out like a sore thumb on the streets of Chicago, and then there’s the obvious contentious relationship between him and Ridzik. Given the genre of the film, it’s tempting to make parallels to Lethal Weapon, but they don’t really have much relevance here beyond some superficial similarities; for all his talk of “Miranda Rights” and due process, Ridzik isn’t exactly a by-the-book cop so seeing him chew Danko out for his more extreme and blunt methods is oddly hypocritical considering he openly plants incriminating evidence on “Streak” (Brion James). Some of the best moments in Red Heat are born from Danko’s inability to understand American slang and humour and his commentary on the decadent West compared to the more efficient (and brutal) nature of the Soviet Union when it comes to punishing criminals and dealing with politicians and drugs alike. With Schwarzenegger being at his physical peak, Danko’s punches land with comic book-style power and he’s shown to be extremely formidable. Even he isn’t impervious to damage, however, as seen when Rosta’s attack leaves him with a nasty concussion, but naturally he’s up and about before too long.

Despite their differences, Danko and Ridzik work together to stop Rosta and part as friends.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a buddy cop movie without some shoot-outs: Danko gets into violent gunfight at the beginning (somehow avoiding being shot despite being such a big target in a small space), but Ridzik’s bust of Salim’s (J.W. Smith) apartment is noticeably more frantic and involves a lot more guns and chaotic shouting. Danko also impresses with his massive Soviet cannon and .44 Magnum, gunning down Rosta’s goons in glorious ‘80’s fashion, complete with blood squibs and crashing glass. Uniquely, Red Heat concludes with a bus chase through the busy Chicago streets; this comes after Ridzik’s sleazy brother-in-law, Pat Nunn (Michael Hagerty), inadvertently solves the mystery of the locker key, which sees Ridzik and Danko confront Rosta at the bus station. Unfortunately, a conflict of opinion regarding which one of them gets to take him in allows Rosta to flee in a stolen bus, so the two commandeer one of their own to pursue him. This results in a surprisingly frantic chase considering the size and unwieldy nature of the buses and sees them careening through traffic and landmarks alike, all while Ridzik loudly curses in frustration. Ultimately, Danko and Rosta drive at each other, each one determined to see the other dead regardless of their own life. Luckily for Danko, Ridzik is on hand to force a last-second swerve, resulting in minor injuries for them and a final, blood-soaked showdown between Danko and Rosta that sees the despicable drug pusher gunned down. Despite their differences, Ridzik and Danko part as friends; they even exchange wrist watches in the time-honoured tradition of the Soviets (though Ridzik gets amusingly shafted on the exchange) and agree that, while their countries may have their differences, they’re “police officers, not politicians”.

The Summary:
Although I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger films and I was (and still am) a massive fan of his, Red Heat is one of his movies I’m not as familiar with. I didn’t see it until I was much older, so I don’t have the same nostalgia for it as I do his other films. While this doesn’t mean I’m any less entertained by it, I can’t say I often choose to watch it over his other films or other, more enjoyable buddy cop flicks. Schwarzenegger is great in this role; it plays into the strengths that made him so memorable in The Terminator while also allowing him to showcase a different range of emotions, such as a subdued sense of duty and an implacable determination to get his man. I also really enjoyed Belushi here as the wise-ass jerk of the two, and I think they had real chemistry together, but I feel like the film never lives up to the potential this pairing has. It’s weird seeing Ridzik be such a smart-ass to everyone and yet lecture Danko on proper procedures even when he’s (as in Ridzik) brazenly breaking the rules; their relationship is made wildly inconsistent because of this and I think it would’ve been better if Ridzik had been the hot-headed loose cannon and Danko had been the by-the-books military man, with the two then learning from and understanding each other’s perspective across the film. Instead, while it seems to lean that way, Ridzik wildly jumps from doing things right, to defying his orders or openly insulting his superiors, and between criticising and admiring Danko from scene to scene, needlessly complicating their pursuit of Rosta. The action and gunplay was decent, and the film’s definitely leaning more into the cop drama aspects of Lethal Weapon rather than the comedy/action of its sequels, but I don’t think it really out-does Lethal Weapon in this regard. Its main unique aspect is the dichotomy between the US and Russia, with the US being mocked and criticised for its debauchery and Russia for being so uptight. It’s amusing, and I liked the clash of styles and methods, but it loses a lot of impact due to the aforementioned inconsistent tone and kind of feels like it was just an excuse to poke fun at the militant Russians. Ultimately, it’s a decent enough movie but there are better Schwarzenegger and buddy cop movies out there; it’s a quick watch (maybe too quick at times, resulting in a serious lack of screen time for Rosta) with some potential, but I can’t rate it much higher (despite the chemistry between the two leads) since it squanders a lot of that potential.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What do you think to Red Heat? How do you think the film holds up against other buddy cop movies and where would you rank it against Arnold’s other films? What did you think to Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of the stoic Danko and his banter with Ridzik? Do you feel the film had the right balance of action and comedy or were you also left a bit deflated by it? What did you think to Rosta and commentary on US and Russian society? Do you have any memories of the Cold War? How are you celebrating Schwarzenegger’s birthday today and what is your favourite Schwarzenegger film? Whatever you think, go ahead and leave your thoughts below or drop a comment on my social media.

Mini Game Corner: RoboCop 3 (Mega Drive)

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Released: 1993
Developer: Digital Image Design
Also Available For: Amiga, Atari ST, Commodore 64, DOS, Game Gear, Master System, Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), Super Entertainment System (SNES), ZX Spectrum

A Brief Background:
Director Paul Verhoeven’s RoboCop (1987) proved profitable enough to earn a sequel, one that was unfairly met with mixed reviews. Both RoboCop and RoboCop 2 (Kershner, 1990) were accompanied by videogame adaptations courtesy of Ocean Software, a British developer known for adapting film and television franchises, and Data East. While RoboCop 3 (Dekker, 1993) was a critical and commercial bomb, it also received a handful of tie-in videogames. Unlike the other versions of the game, which were again published by Ocean Software, the Mega Drive version was developed by Digital Image Design, who had only one game under their belt at the time. RoboCop 3’s delayed production also meant that many played the game before seeing the movie. Not that it mattered since Orion Pictures kept the specifics of RoboCop 3’s plot a secret, so the developers had to make educated guesses based on rumours and production stills, leading to them wasting weeks of time creating motorcycle sequences that weren’t included in the movie. Although the Amiga and ZX Spectrum versions of the game have been praised for their cinematic atmosphere and gameplay mechanics, the SNES and Mega Drive versions were criticised for their unfair difficulty, uninspired environments, and crude graphics, and the game was ultimately labelled as being one of the worst videogame outings for the famous cyborg cop.

First Impressions:
Similar to the first two RoboCop arcade games, RoboCop 3 is a sidescrolling shooter with some minor platforming mechanics. Players must lug RoboCop’s notoriously bulky ass across six levels filled with street punks and robotic enemies all looking to turn him into scrap metal. Like all the best Mega Drive games, RoboCop 3 allows you to set your life count (between one and three), the amount of continues you have (between none and two), and the game’s difficult (Easy, Medium, or Hard; I opted to try out the Easy mode for this play session), but there are there’s no option to disable the in-game timer. By default, A allows you to switch between RoboCop’s different weapons (acquired from item drops during gameplay), B fires his current weapon, and C allows him to jump. These controls didn’t work for me so I took advantage of the customisation options to change them to something that actually makes sense: A to fire, B to jump, and C to change weapons. I should also note that you can hold the fire button to continuously shoot, but this will burn through your ammo pretty quickly (when you run out completely, you’re left relying on RoboCop’s weak-ass punches until you grab some ammo), and you can also shoot upwards, diagonally, and while crouching and jumping. Although the options also include a music and sound effects test, the iconic RoboCop theme is missing and, in its place, are a series of generic, cyberpunk-style rock tunes.

RoboCop is beset by tough enemies and tricky platforming sections that his bulky frame struggles with.

Although we’re treated to a big, detailed graphic of RoboCop and the RoboCop 3 logo, there’s no story graphics or even text here; we’re simply dropped right onto the streets of Detroit, which actually makes a pretty good first impression. You can see the city in the background, RoboCop’s police cruiser, dilapidated buildings (with eviction notices slapped onto them), flickering lampposts, and even signs advertising the impending arrival of Delta City. RoboCop also looks pretty good, far better than the generic and uninspiring enemies he faces, though he has no idle poses and remains an unwieldy and bulky character. You’ll need to make use of the various crates piled about to take cover and avoid incoming fire, but enemies can simply walk and shoot right through them and it’s almost impossible to avoid taking a bullet or rocket to the face as RoboCop is so chunky, meaning you’re liable to see him downed in a dramatic explosion if you’re not careful. RoboCop can pick up a couple of additional ammo types as he goes, including a helpful three-way shot and a powerful laser (that even alters his sprite to include his new gun arm attachment from the movie), and replenish his health using rare pick-ups, but you’ll have to be careful of stage hazards. Falling wrecking balls and bottomless pits are abound and RoboCop’s platforming skills leave a lot to be desired. There’s only one checkpoint in the stage, meaning you have to be really on the ball hopping to small moving platforms and taking out the bullet-sponge tanks and drones that patrol the streets and skies above.

My Progression:
I’d heard RoboCop 3 was a difficult game but I didn’t really have many expectations; I vaguely remember playing an polygonal, first-person shooter version of the game on the Amiga (I think…) and enjoying the arcade versions of the previous two adaptations, but there’s one advantage to playing games like those: emulation generally allows you infinite chances to succeed. Mega Drive games don’t always have this luxury and RoboCop 3 is one of those titles where the only cheat available is a level skip, so I decided to go into it with as much of a pure experience as I could and ended up getting quickly frustrated. I really don’t understand why developers had such a problem making RoboCop videogames back in the day; Contra (Konami, 1985) would’ve been a good source of inspiration, hell they could’ve just copied from Turrican (Factor 5/Various, 1990) and been on the right track. Instead, we got these awkward, aggravating platforming/shooter mash-ups that just didn’t work with a character as ungainly as RoboCop. RoboCop Versus The Terminator (Virgin Games USA/Various, 1994) remains the best of the bunch so far and even that game plods along thanks to how unwieldy RoboCop can be. Here, he has no chance against the barrage of enemies (with more appearing on harder difficulties) and you can’t afford to waste too much time as there’s a damn timer ticking down overhead!

Some vague movie references and a top-down shooting section help bolster the mediocre gameplay.

So, no, I didn’t even get past the first stage. With a great deal of patience and abuse of save states, I reached the first boss with full health and armed with RoboCop’s three-way shot and laser, but I stood little chance against the wave-upon-wave of rocket launcher-toting baddies since they attacked from both sides and RoboCop’s crouch is next to useless for avoiding incoming fire. I’ll admit that I kind of rushed a bit and lost patience with the game a lot faster than normal just because of how cheap some of the platforming and challenges were, but I had to tap out in the end as I just couldn’t be bothered to fight my way back to that part. It’s a bit of a shame as the game looks pretty decent; there’s a lovely, detailed graphic of RoboCop on fire and the Enforcement Droid-209 (ED-209) when you die (that even includes a voice sample) and there’s some visual promise to the game, and playthroughs of the game show that it can easily be beaten in less than fifteen minutes if you’re able to stick with it. Looking ahead, there’s more voice samples (all of them from the first movie) and RoboCop fights up and across rooftops, battles waves of Rehab mercenaries alongside a reprogrammed ED-209 (Nikko Halloran even pops in for a cameo), acquires a flame burst, and even encounters a gigantic robotic Satan in a parking garage! Other movie locations include the church (where RoboCop must find keys to open doors and fight the agile robot ninja Otomo in the sewers) and the Omni-Consumer Productions (OCP) tower, where players must defeat two Otomos to finish the game and finally earn some story text. The gameplay is even broken up by some fun-looking, bullet hell overhead shooter sections where RoboCop flies above the city streets in his jetpack blasting at demonic-looking robots and drones, but I honestly can’t be bothered to fire up this drek of a game to try and play them.

I admit that I probably didn’t give RoboCop 3 a fair shake of the stick. Since a boxed, complete version of the game can fetch quite a high price, I settled for emulating the game, but I couldn’t be bothered to hook a second controller up to my Raspberry Pi to input the level select code and I kept accidentally overwriting my save state, so I grew very frustrated with the game myself very quickly. But as I say, even when I reached the first enemy swarm that masqueraded as a boss battle, I couldn’t beat it even with full health, though I’d wager that I might be able to get a little further now that I know what to expect from the game. However, I have no desire to; there are far better similar games on the Mega Drive, the RoboCop arcade games are a much better use of your time, and there’s no way you’d ever pick this game over RoboCop Versus The Terminator. But maybe my opinion doesn’t count as I gave up too quickly. Maybe you actually enjoyed this game. Maybe there are some positives that I missed, or I just didn’t connect with it like you did. If so, I’d love to hear about it. tell me your experiences of RoboCop 3, or RoboCop games in general, in the comments and go check out my other RoboCop reviews across the site!

Mini Game Corner [Ghostbusters Day]: The Real Ghostbusters (Arcade)

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Throw on your proton pack and get ready to bust some ghosts because June 8th is, officially, “Ghostbusters Day”! Ghostbusters (Reitman, 1984) was first released on this day back in 1984 and, since then, has become a major pop culture franchise that includes comic books, a popular cartoon and line of action figures, and videogames and it is, easily, one of my favourite films and franchises from that era.

Released: 1987
Developer: Data East
Also Available For: Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, Commodore 64, and ZX Spectrum

A Brief Background:
After Ghostbusters became a big hit, it spun off into a pretty significant franchise comprised of an under-rated sequel, a questionable reboot, some okay modern follow-ups, and a handful of videogames. The first Ghostbusters-branded videogame was a multi-platform release from Activision that was a huge success despite being wildly different across each home console and containing humorous grammatical errors. This was followed up by an arcade title loosely based on one of the most memorable Ghostbusters spin-offs, the much-loved cartoon. Licensing issues saw the game released as Meikyuu Hunter G in Japan, which included redrawn sprites, the removal of the iconic Ray Parker Jr. song, and the multi-player stripped down to two players instead of three. Unlike the beloved cartoon, The Real Ghostbusters attracted mixed reviews across its various iterations; while some praised the fun gameplay and graphics, many others disagreed and criticised it as an ugly, repetitive, unfair and undemanding, and overall unimpressive shooter.

The Review:
I’m doing things a little differently for my review of the Real Ghostbusters arcade game. It’s a naturally shorter review but that’s mainly because the game is so short and simplistic that I don’t see the point in dragging it out too much, but I was also able to finish it so I want to touch base with everything I saw and give it a proper rating. The Real Ghostbusters is a top-down, semi-isometric shooter not unlike its successor, Smash TV (Williams, 1990), perhaps the most popular of this genre. The game allows up to three players (because, once again, Winston Zeddemore gets the shaft) to play simultaneously, but your character is never identified onscreen by name (they’re just “1Up”, “2Up”, and “3Up”) and their sprites are just palette swaps, so you have to go by the colour of their uniforms (blue for Doctor Egon Spengler, yellow for Doctor Ray Stantz, and orange for Doctor Peter Venkman). They also all play exactly the same; there are no stats or attributes to differentiate them, so it really doesn’t matter which character you play as (though “2Up”/Orange/Venkman stands out a little more against the backgrounds). The Real Ghostbusters offers basic, arcade-style gameplay; you simply move your character around the ten stages and blast at monsters with your proton pack using two buttons: one that fires a slower, infinite projectile shot and one that unleashes your proton stream. The proton stream is tied to a yellow meter under your character’s name and score. As you fire it, the meter depletes and you’ll need to grab power-ups or insert a coin to replenish it, which is necessary as the proton stream is the only way of sucking up the ghosts that pop out from defeated baddies and earning points to both out-do your friends between stages and work towards earning extra lives, which are awarded for every one hundred ghosts you capture.

Players compete against each other to grab power-ups and capture the most ghosts.

Following the big title font and a fun scene of Ecto-1 pulling up outside of the Ghostbusters’ headquarters, you’re dropped into the first stage and tasked to “Capture the ghosts, collect the keys, save the city” which is done by zapping the bizarre monsters and ghouls that swarm every area and confronting a boss at the top of the stage. This earns you a key to move on to the next stage, but the game very quickly recycles its environments; you’ll explore the dilapidated rooftops on the first and final stages, then play through a canyon (with bones scattered all about), a graveyard (containing gravestones and tree stumps), a moss-infested catacomb, and a more Hellish variant of the graveyard over and over between the first and last stages. While the environments are quite repetitive, the action is thick and fast. Ghoulies, goblins, and nightmarish creatures infest every screen, constantly respawning, shooting lightning bolts or other projectiles, and making a beeline towards you. As if that wasn’t bad enough, laughing spikes pop up from the floor and the excised spirits will steal power-ups if you’re not fast enough. You’ll also have to climb (well, just walk up) ladders and cross tree trunks to progress, sometimes by blasting rocks or trees to make them appear. Be careful, though; there are a lot of things you can blast, like toxic waste bins and barrels and such, but some of these are just as likely to spawn more enemies as they are power-ups! Power-ups include upgrades to your proton stream and projectile shot to make them more powerful and replenish your meter, an “aura” shield that protects you from damage, and a “Green Ghost” (because, apparently, Slimer wasn’t a popular name just yet?) that both protects you and takes out enemies for a short time. There is also a power-down item, helpfully indicated by its skull-and-crossbones symbol, that debuffs your shot, so watch out for that, but two or more players are able to cross their streams for a more powerful attack. You also have to deal with a timer; you have five in-game minutes to clear each stage, but you can earn more time by inserting a coin or grabbing a power-up. Finally, The Real Ghostbusters is classic coin-muncher if I ever saw one; it’s one-hit kills here and you’ll die a lot throughout the course of the game as the enemies just never stop coming. It’s actually quite impressive how many appear onscreen at once and the sheer variety on offer; it’s a shame that the music didn’t get the same attention as the chip-tune rendition of the iconic Ghostbusters soon wears out its welcome after a few minutes.

The gruesome bosses are recycled and poor substitutes for more iconic Ghostbusters foes.

The Real Ghostbusters is similarly limited in its gameplay variety; between each stage, the Ghostbusters deposit the spirits they’ve captured into the containment unit for bonus points and extra lives, but this is purely a non-interactive cutscene and there are no bonus games to break up the action here. The same goes for the game’s bosses; sure they’re bigger and tougher than the regular enemies and are accompanied by a boss theme, but they don’t require any more skill on your part than to keep blasting and avoiding taking a hit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the game both recycles bosses and substitutes a boss battle with a gauntlet against swarms of enemies. I gave this a pass at first since the first two introduced two new enemies to the game (weird rotund bird-things that extend their beaks and scythe-wielding demons), but the third gauntlet is simply against the bulbous purple bolt-shooting monsters you’ve been busting all along. The first boss is two large, cloaked figures that resemble the Grim Reaper and bop about shooting spooky napkins. The second is a disgusting, blob-like monster with a gnashing face in its stomach and a single, disgusting eye at the end of an extendable neck, and both of these guys appear again at the end of stage nine. Extendable appendages and swarms of projectiles are commonplace with The Real Ghostbusters’ bosses; the two wall-mounted demons in stage four, the scarier robed priests of stage six, and the lava/rock golems of stage seven all featured these tactics though the priests mix things up a bit by being able to teleport and the golems come armed (literally) with swinging maces. Rather than taking on the iconic Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, your final challenge is to fight to the end of the rooftops and battle two of these golem-like giants, something that’s barely a challenge at all since you can easily make mincemeat of all the game’s enemies with three players. Defeat them and you’re treated to an odd scene of the ghosts and monsters all escaping the Ghostbusters’ firehouse (it’s almost as if the intro and outro cutscenes should’ve been reversed to show the ghosts escaping and the Ghostbusters returning home victorious), a bit of congratulatory text, and the chance to enter your initials into the high score table.

The Summary:
I love a good, mindless arcade title, especially one where you can just keep pumping in coins and mowing down waves of enemies to achieve victory. I actually have memories of playing the Amiga version of The Real Ghostbusters back when I was a kid and quite enjoying it, especially compared to the more confusing and taxing Ghostbusters (Activision, 1984), and I could definitely see myself and other kids blowing our pocket money on this fast-paced action shooter back in the day. Having said that, the game is painfully basic; the lack of bonus stages and gameplay variety is staggering, even for an arcade title, and things quickly become repetitive and chaotic. I was obviously emulating the game, so I had unlimited credits, making it a breeze to blast through; while enemies swarmed the screen and took me out again and again, I was back in action at the press of a button but all this tells me was that The Real Ghostbusters was unfairly cheap and designed to rid you of your hard-earned coins with its one-hit kills, strict timer, and sheer amount of enemies. While the chip-tune music gets grating and the semi-isometric perspective can be a little confusing, the game looks decent enough. The Ghostbusters might look awful, but the monsters are all suitably bizarre, Lovecraftian creatures, though this visual appeal is diminished by the fact that most of them just bounce, fly, or wander about shooting the odd projectile. The power-ups are kind of fun but, again, basic; why not change up the projectiles the Ghostbusters shoot or have a screen-clearing bomb or something? Also, the lack of Mr. Stay Puft really diminished the appeal and finale of the game; he was the obvious final boss, but The Real Ghostbusters chose to play it cheap and safe and cycle previous bosses instead. Overall, The Real Ghostbusters was a decent enough arcade game, especially with three players, but nothing massively memorable or innovative.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever played the Real Ghostbusters arcade game? If so, what did you play it on and did you enjoy it? Which Ghostbuster did you play as, and were you upset by Winston’s absence? Were you disappointed by the recycled bosses and environments? What are your memories of The Real Ghostbusters and how are you celebrating Ghostbusters Day today? Whatever your thoughts and memories of Ghostbusters, feel free to share them below and be sure to check out my other Ghostbusters reviews across the site.

Movie Night [Dinosaur Day]: Jurassic Park III

Dr. K8 Comments

Sixty-five million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. These massive beasts existed for about 180 million years and came in all shapes and sizes, before finally going extinct following a cataclysmic event that forever changed our world and rendered these creatures mere fossils to be discovered and studied. Fittingly, “Dinosaur Day” is actually celebrated twice a year, giving dino fans the world over ample opportunities to pay homage to this near-mythical titans.

Released: 18 July 2001
Director: Joe Johnston
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $93 million
Stars: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Trevor Morgan, Alessandro Nivola, and Laura Dern

The Plot:
When Paul (Macy) and Amanda Kirby’s (Leoni) son, Eric (Morgan), is stranded on Isla Sorna, the estranged couple enlist Doctor Alan Grant (Neill) to help them brave the genetically resurrected dinosaurs that reside there and rescue him.

The Background:
In 1993, legendary director Steven Spielberg teamed up with special effects wizards Stan Winston, Phil Tippett, and Dennis Muren to turn Michael Crichton’s bestselling Jurassic Park (ibid, 1990) into a pioneering blockbuster. Despite grossing over $1.030 billion at the box office and overwhelmingly positive reviews, both Crichton and Spielberg were reluctant to work on sequel. Ultimately, while The Lost World: Jurassic Park (ibid, 1997) broke box office records, it was met with mixed reviews and even Spielberg believed it failed to match expectations. Thus, he passed the director’s chair to his friend Joe Johnston since he felt the series needed fresh blood behind the camera. Initial ideas to have Dr. Alan Grant stranded on a dinosaur-infested island were scrapped, as was a sequence involving a motorcycle chase against a pack of Velociraptors, but the idea of characters being marooned on the island continued to persist. Star Sam Neill eagerly signed on, believing he could improve on his original performance, and Stan Winston and Industrial Light & Magic returned to provide the dinosaur effects. Various versions of the film’s newest dinosaur, the Spinosaurus, were created; it was purposely chosen as a more horrifying counterpart to the returning Tyrannosaurs rex and was so powerful that it tore the animatronic T. rex’s head off! Although Spielberg afforded Johnston complete creative freedom, he had a chair reserved for him on set and insisted that Pteranodons were included after the were cut from the last two films. With a box office gross just shy of $370 million, Jurassic Park III became the lowest-grossing film in the franchise and was subjected to near unanimous negative reviews that criticised the redundant narrative, muddled tone, and ridiculous moments. In time, Jurassic Park III has been re-evaluated and come to be regarded as the black sheep of the franchise, but this was far from the end for the series, which made a dramatic comeback in 2015 that (more or less) successfully revived the franchise.

The Review:
I think a lot of us take for granted just how big Jurassic Park was when it first released; undeniably, the film redefined what a modern blockbuster could be and brought cutting-edge CGI effects and animatronics to the forefront of cinema, to say nothing of the wave of “Dinomania” it unleashed. Although I have no love for the book or its literary follow-up, I, like pretty much my entire generation, was captivated by Jurassic Park and much of this enthusiasm meant that I was overly generous towards the sequel movie for the longest time. It made sense: I liked Jurassic Park, I liked Jeff Goldblum, so of course I had to like The Lost World. Unfortunately, time has not been kind to The Lost World, which fumbled in areas where the first film succeeded, but I definitely think that it pretty much tapped out the appeal and reach of the concept, especially once it showed dinosaurs in the outside world. All this is to say that I’ve always been disappointed by Jurassic Park III; sure, it features some new dinosaurs and even recycles sequences from the book into its content, but there’s a reason why it’s the shortest and most universally disliked of the franchise. In a word, the film is just unnecessary, and offers very little to entice fans of the original back, to the point where you may as well just watch Jurassic Park three times and you’d probably get more enjoyment than suffering through the surprisingly disappointing follow-ups.

Grant is horrified to find he’s been duped into fighting off his beloved dinosaurs once again.

The first indication that we’re simply retreading old ground is that the film immediately returns to Isla Sorna and the majority of it takes place in this setting. It makes sense; the unfamiliarity of an isolated island adds to the wonder and danger of the franchise, but we’d seen everything this setting could offer in the last two movies and Jurassic Park III really could’ve done with trying something different, especially after The Lost World established that dinosaurs were basically free to roam as they desired, within their capabilities. One way Jurassic Park III attempts to stand out is by addressing the scientific inaccuracies in the dinosaurs; even though the first film did cover this quite conclusively, Grant makes a point to clearly spell out that the island’s genetically-engineered dinosaurs were “theme park monsters” and that the real science is found in fossils, a sentiment that remains true today. However, the dinosaurs were real enough to haunt not only Grant’s scientific career but also his nightmares. While he remains awestruck at having seen close approximations to dinosaurs up close and personal, he has no desire to ever return to the island, much less encounter them again. But, as ever, he can’t turn down the chance to inject some serious cash into his Velociraptor research when Paul Kirby comes asking for his expertise in taking him and his wife on a tour of the island. Of course, this is all a ruse; the couple have no money to offer him and have simply tricked him into helping them navigate the island’s dangers to rescue their son, but Grant’s experience is immediately hampered by the fact that he’s never actually been to Isla Sorna before, to say nothing of the Kirbys’ foolishness when it comes to heeding Grant’s advice and warnings about the local wildlife.

Unlike their son, the Kirbys are woefully incompetent and in way over their heads.

Despite Paul being little more than a painter and decorator, he and his estranged wife somehow pull together the funds not just to fly to Isla Sorna, but to hire some unscrupulous characters to transport them and stave off the ravenous dinosaurs with some serious firepower. However, these would-be mercenaries prove as ill-equipped as the Kirbys, who are immediately in over their heads and realise that they’ve vastly underestimated the dangers of the island. It doesn’t help that Amanda is painfully idiotic; not only does she yell into a megaphone as soon as they land but she, more than any of the other characters, constantly ignores or disregards Grant’s expertise, putting herself and the others in danger when the carnivores come sniffing around for their next meal. Grant is incensed to learn the truth and even more perturbed when the survivors are stranded after the Spinosaurus destroys their plane and devours their satellite phone, but even then his main concern is reaching the safety of the coast rather than actively searching for the couple’s lost son, Eric (indeed, it’s heavily implied that Grant thinks the boy is dead). Following a Velociraptor attack, Grant is separated from the couple but runs across Eric, who has done a decent job of surviving by himself thanks to his adaptability, knowledge of dinosaurs from Grant’s research, and resources afforded by InGen’s abandoned facilities. Grant, now far more comfortable with children thanks to his experiences in the first film and his close relationship with former flame Doctor Ellie Sattler’s (Dern) infant son Charlie (Blake Bryan), is very impressed by Eric’s survival instincts over the last eight weeks. Eric uses tear gas and even Tyrannosaurs rex urine to keep the dinosaurs at bay but he’s more upset at the prospect of his estranged parents trying to work together than he is by the locals. However, their shared trauma and determination to find Eric brings the two closer together but their joy at being reunited is cut short when they’re separated by a massive fence, with the Spinosaurus hot on their heels, and driven into the dilapidated aviary. Once he’s back with his parents, Eric reverts back to being a scared kid and fades into the background; he consoles Grant over the apparent loss of his assistant, Billy Brennan (Nivola), but basically just becomes another screaming would-be meal for the Spinosaurus.

Trumping any other dinosaur, the Spinosaurus obliterates every threat and constantly dogs the humans.

As ever, the humans are under constant threat from the genetically-recreated dinosaurs; while there’s a sense of wonderment about herbivores like the Corythosaurus and Parasaurolophus, the Velociraptors remain a persistent danger to the group. Grant continues to be enamoured with the pack hunters, which now sport rudimentary feathers and an intelligence beyond even his expectations as they call to each other, signal for help, and even use live, injured humans as bait to lure in other victims. This time around, the Velociraptor threat is only escalated thanks to Billy secretly stealing their eggs to sell on the black market to help fund Grant’s research, which causes the creatures to furiously hunt them throughout. For the first time, winged dinosaurs play a key role in the events of the franchise; in one of Jurassic Park III’s better sequences, one ripped right out of the first book, the group stumble into the twisted, rusted remains of a Pteranodon aviary and the giant, bat-like creatures briefly carry Eric off to their young before Billy successfully rescues him in what appears to be redemptive act of self-sacrifice but which the would-be black marketeer inexplicably survives. The franchise’s most recognisable dinosaur and brand mascot, the Tyrannosaurs rex, also reappears but, sadly, it’s little more than a cameo; the T. rex is primarily here to show off the bigger, badder Spinosaurus, which not only makes an immediate impression by splattering Cooper (John Diehl) all over the Kirbys’ plane but easily bests the T. rex and snaps its neck in a startling show of power. Unfortunately, this means that we’re denied a proper battle between the two or a suitable opponent to slay or challenge the Spinosaurus in the finale, though the Spinosaurus’ threat lingers over the entirety of the film and recalls the constant sense of dread the characters faced from the T. rex in the first. Far larger, with a crocodile-like jaw and massive talon-like claws, the Spinosaurus is Isla Sorna’s undisputed apex predator, unhindered by any weaknesses and capable of fending off any obstacle, swimming through water, and even…somehow…sneaking up on its prey despite not only its massive size but the constant ringing of the satellite phone in its stomach!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Jurassic Park III tries so hard to emulate the epic wonder of the first film but there’s just not enough material left to support it. John Williams’ sweeping, iconic theme still permeates the picture despite him being replaced by composer Don Davis, and the awesome sight of seeing dinosaurs brought to life onscreen remains, but it’s undeniable that it’s just not as impressive as it was the first time around. These issues are only compounded by some absolutely detestable characters; Paul and Amanda Kirby are clueless, deceitful morons who are difficult to root for, especially in the case of the foolhardy Amanda, whose desperate need to rescue her son costs the lives of three other people and endangers them all on numerous occasions. Téa Leoni is easily the worst part of this film; she’s so wooden and rigid and just mumbles her way through the narrative, dragging every scene down and making Amanda a thoroughly unlikeable and moronic character. Paul is a spineless fool who’s in way over his head and I can absolutely understand Grant’s exasperation at being surrounded by such ridiculous characters, and his admiration for Eric at somehow breaking the chain and being a smart and capable young boy. Billy’s side plot where he plans to sell the Velociraptor eggs is an interesting wrinkle, but it really doesn’t go anywhere and is basically a scaled down version of the plot seen in The Lost World, plus it’s difficult to really care about Billy’s betrayal of his mentor or his apparent death because about he only thing Billy has going for him before his greed is revealed is that he has a “lucky backpack”.

Somehow, the effects have worsened and, with some exceptions, everything seems rushed and lazy.

As ever, the main selling point is the dinosaurs. While, for the most part, they still look as amazing as ever, it’s clear that the quality of the animatronics and CGI have taken a hit despite Jurassic Park II having the highest budget of the original trilogy. The animatronic dinosaurs, especially, look far less realistic than before; it’s almost as if the filmmakers got lazy or rushed the process, coasting on the influential effects of the first film and putting in less effort, with the brief appearance by the Ceratosaurus being a particularly poor effect, but a lot of the CGI is surprisingly awful. I can’t help but be disappointed at how unconvincing the ’raptor puppets are this time around; it might not have been so bad if the film didn’t choose to explore the depths of Grant’s trauma by having him experience a nightmare involving a talking ’raptor (though, admittedly, I do find this scene hilarious!) A ’raptor does make an impression when the characters are exploring the ruins of an InGen facility, chasing them through the dark corridors, scaling cage walls to reach its prey and even signalling for help, much to Grant’s horror and amazement, though this does result in a pretty lacklustre chase through a herd of herbivores that is, again, a pale imitation of the first film. Although the Spinosaurus often also looks cartoonish and its battle with the T. rex is disappointingly brief, it is truly horrifying. Clearly chosen for its fearsome appearance and for looming over even the T. rex with an ominous poise, the Spinosaurus is a nightmarish creature that really pushes Jurassic Park III into monster movie territory as it glares at its prey and stalks them with vicious purpose. Indeed, Jurassic Park III’s better moments are when it leans into horror; the Pteranodon attack is especially evocative of this, with the massive prehistoric bird/lizards looming and flapping through the mist like something out of a slasher movie, to say nothing of the terrifying way the Spinosaurus cuts through the water in the dead of night during a torrential downpour. Although the Jurassic Park films have often strived to be more than monster movies, these more terrifying and intense sequences are a definite highlight and demonstrate that there was still some gas left in the tank for the franchise, it was just sadly hampered by an overall poor execution.

After inexplicably scaring off Spiney and placating the ‘raptors, the survivors are saved by the Navy!

After narrowly escaping the Pteranodons, the survivors finally manage to retrieve Paul’s annoying satellite phone from a pile of Spinosaurus excrement (again evoking imagery from the first film) and Grant makes a frantic call for help to Ellie. The Spinosaurus attacks, however, while the group is sailing on a barge; since we were denied a proper T. rex vs Spinosaurus showdown, though, the franchise’s newest, most dangerous predator yet is simply scared off after Grant ignites some oil with a flare gun, making for a painfully unsatisfying final showdown with the vicious carnivore. Instead, as ever, Jurassic Park III falls back on the Velociraptors for one last scare; having tracked the humans and the eggs Billy stole, the Velociraptors corner them on the beach and appear ready to strike; however, Grant manages to confuse the pack by randomly blowing into a replica ’raptor larynx. Just then, the film simply comes to an end when Ellie was somehow not only able to understand that Grant was on the island but was also able to get the US Navy to storm the beach for a rescue, scaring off the ’raptors, who reclaim their eggs and run into the jungle. Just like in the first movie, Grant and the other survivors (even, inexplicably, Billy) are airlifted to safety and left to contemplate the beauty, awe, and danger of the long-extinct dinosaurs, but again this is simply the same ending as in Jurassic Park but with an additional bit of family drama slapped on top of it! The tension and horror of the island rekindles the relationship between the Kirbys, who are overjoyed to be reunited with their son, who is equally pleased to see his parents finally getting along, and all it took was a few lives and the threat of mortal danger to bring them back together. Although he isn’t going to get the funding he was promised, it seems as though Grant is content to have faced his fears, though I would argue that his experiences on Isla Sorna only galvanised his dislike for InGen’s genetically-engineered monstrosities.

The Summary:
It’s really hard to rate Jurassic Park II very high as the entire film just feels like an unnecessary cash-grab, one final desperate attempt to wring the life out of a franchise that, at the time, really only had enough gas for two movies (and even then, the second one was a questionable effort). Certainly, there’s enough material in Michael Crichton’s books and the prehistoric to be reconfigured into another movie, but Jurassic Park III plays things way too safe. It’s just a shorter, less fanciful, and far less thrilling retread of the first film: Grant is a grouchy traditionalist forced to adapt to a dangerous situation, he’s forced to bond and work alongside a kid, there are ill-prepared morons running around just looking to get eaten, and there’s a monstrous prehistoric predator stomping around looking to snap everybody up. Even the sub-plot about stealing the ’raptor eggs is half-baked and familiar, and the effects somehow look worse than in the original Jurassic Park despite the higher budget and what I would assume would be the refinement of those original techniques. Sam Neill puts in a great performance but even he can’t save this grating cast; Téa Leoni is always dreadful, and William H. Macy just lacks the charisma to be all that compelling. I did enjoy the sadly underutilised Pteranodons and the monstrous Spinosaurus, but the filmmakers really dropped the ball by not having a longer, more brutal fight scene between ol’ Spiney and the T. rex. Thankfully, the revived entries would correct this, and many of Jurassic Park III’s mistakes, but that doesn’t help wash the sour taste of this ill-conceived, rushed, and lazy entry out of the mouth. Just watch the first one again and then jump to the fourth, it’s the best way.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Are you a fan of Jurassic Park III? Do you think I’ve judged the film too harshly and that there are actually some positives to be found here? Were you happy to see Dr. Alan Grant return and what did you think to the Kirbys? What did you think to the Spinosaurus and would you have liked to see a more competitive fight between it and the T. rex? Do you agree that the film was too lazy and that the concept was tapped out by this point? Which of Jurassic Park’s sequels is your favourite or do you consider the first one to be the best? How are you celebrating Dinosaur Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Jurassic Park III, and dinosaurs in general, leave them below or drop a comment on my social media.

Game Corner [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT: Mutants in Manhattan (Xbox 360)

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The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. Even now, the TMNT continue to be an influential and popular commodity, proving that some fads don’t die out…they just get stronger!

Released: 24 May 2016
Developer: PlatinumGames
Also Available For: PC, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Xbox Series S/X

The Background:
Kids were mental for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back in the late-eighties and early-nineties. Though the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon (1987 to 1996) was a drastically toned down version of the original Mirage Comics, it was a veritable merchandise machine that saw the Heroes in a Half-Shell expand out to live-action movies of varying quality, further comic books, a fantastic line of action figures, and a whole host of videogames. At the time, Konami’s arcade efforts set the standard for TMNT videogames and, with few exceptions, most subsequent videogame adaptations would be brawlers of some variety. By 2016, the TMNT weren’t the dominating juggernaut that had been back in the day, but they were still very popular. A new, slightly darker cartoon ran between 2003 and 2009 before giving way to a much lighter, all-CG animated series from 2012 to 2017, and the franchise saw a resurgence in IDW’s popular comic book series. These comics became the primary inspiration behind PlatinumGames’ newest Ninja Turtles videogame. However, the developers also wanted to pay homage to the ever-changing nature of the franchise despite featuring an original story and sought to create an action-orientated, co-operative experience built on flashy moves and signature abilities. The result, however, was a mediocre brawler that failed to impress critics; reviews almost unanimously agreed that Mutants in Manhattan was a let-down that would prove to be a disappointment to even die-hard franchise fans, with very few redeeming qualities being highlighted in reviews.

The Plot:
When Oroku Saki/The Shredder and Krang once again join forces and swarm the streets with their mutant lieutenants and Foot Clan soldiers, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles leap into action. Aided by their ally, April O’Neil, they respond to various crimes and disturbances before confronting the Shredder in an epic showdown.

Gameplay:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan is a mission-based, quasi-open-world hack-and-slash brawler in which one to four players take control of the iconic TMNT and battle against some of their most memorable foes across nine different stages. The game offers four control schemes, though the default settings were perfectly fine for me: X and Y perform light and heavy attacks, respectively, using the TMNT’s signature weapons. You can string button inputs to pull off various combos, but as ever you’ll have to consider the range of your chosen character when fighting as Raphael favours close-quarters combat compared to, say, Donatello, who has a longer reach. A sees you jumping and pressing A in mid-air pulls off a double jump and holding it lets you glide on a shell-themed parachute, and B is used for actions, such as picking up or riding objects or mounting turrets. The Left Bumper puts you into an over the shoulder aim mode so you can toss unlimited shuriken with the Right Bumper and the Right Trigger is used for dodging and blocking; pressing RT at the right time will execute a back attack and counters, but mindlessly mashing it can leave you dizzy and vulnerable.

Utilise the TMNT’s diverse combat, gadgets, and abilities to stop incursions and safeguard the city.

You can switch to any character at any time by holding the Left Trigger and pressing a direction on the directional pad; when playing alone, you can use the ‘Back’ button to issue various commands to your AI-controlled partners, such as asking them to wait or to protect you, or communicate with other players using limited options. If you choose the “Go All Out” option, the AI will respond accordingly; while I spotted some instances where the AI got a little stuck, most of the time it was super aggressive, tackling enemies without hesitation and always running over to revive me when my health was drained. Sometimes, you’ll need to press B or mash A as a team to open large manholes or shutters to progress, and you’ll also make copious use of the TMNT’s ability to clamber up walls and grind on rails and wires to speedily reach your objectives. You can review these and get a layout of the environment at any time by pressing in the right stick to activate the Turtle Glass (T-Glass); this enables a digital overlay of the screen to pinpoint enemies and interactive objects, not unlike the Detective Vision from the Batman: Arkham games (Rocksteady Studios/Various, 2009 to 2016). The comparisons continue as, while in this mode, you can sneak up behind unsuspecting enemies and take them down with X or Y for a quick victory, and you’ll be in constant communication with April and the other TMNT to identify objectives, secrets, and incoming waves of enemies.

Each Turtle has a variety of special attacks and can be revived by scarfing down pizza.

As is often the case with a TMNT game, combat is at the heart of Mutants in Manhattan; while combos are simple and satisfying to pull off, each Turtle has their own “Ninjutsu” powers, activated by holding the Left Trigger and pressing one of the face buttons. You can customise, acquire, and upgrade each of these attacks using the Battle Points (BP) and loot you acquire from combat and gameplay and there are a range on offer, from tossing a larger shuriken to creating a healing circle, to teaming up with another Turtle for a shell shock attack or unleashing a powerful flurry. Each carries a different cooldown time that automatically refills to avoid you spamming them, but you can conceivably execute them and then quickly switch to another Turtle to keep the chain going. You can also pick up and throw or set off explosive barrels to take out large groups of enemies, lock on to an enemy with the right stick to focus your attacks, and take control of gun turrets to bring down helicopters and other airborne threats. Between stages, you can customise each Turtle’s moves but you can also return to the lair using one of the many manholes scattered around each location. This is also where you purchase health, power-ups, and items if you’re running low but these are so commonplace in normal play that I never had much need to stock up. Each Turtle also has their own life bar and can be revived with a press of B when required. If you fail to be revived, you’ll be dumped into the TMNT’s sewer lair and be forced to mash A to eat pizza and refill your health. Be warned, though, as the pizza can get very hot and if all four TMNT are defeated at the same time, the mission will end, and you’ll need to use a continue to jump in from your last checkpoint.

Various random and predetermined missions advance the plot and earn you rewards.

Each stage sees you embarking on various missions; depending on the stage, some of these might be randomised, but generally you’ll be fending off waves of different enemies in different situations. April may direct you to an enemy hideout, for example, or waves of enemies and reinforcements may appear on the map that need to be taken out in order to progress the story. Other times, you’ll need to protect something, like a pizza stand or a power generator, from enemy attacks, or you’ll need to disarm bombs or download data from terminals while fending off waves of enemies. When in the city, enemies may hijack cars that need to be stopped or rob banks; in these instances, you’ll need to roll bags of cash to a set point on the map or carry large gold bars to the same goal to complete the mission. Later, Krang’s Krangdroids launch an all-out assault on New York City and you’ll need to take them out, something made all the easier when you commandeer one of them for yourself! You’ll be travelling to different subway stations, taking out spherical lasers, riding the waves down in the sewers, avoiding sticky slime and lightning strikes, carrying Krang’s bombs to safe zones using beams of electrical energy, avoiding enemy scouts and helicopters (or taking them out entirely), bouncing from nets across the rooftops of the skyscraper distract, and surviving an assortment of enemies in enclosed arenas, all within a time limit that determines the rewards you receive. It can get a little annoying as the game is constantly interrupted by April banging on about the latest emergency, but it’s just varied and random enough to keep things from growing stale, the time limits are pretty generous, and the combat is fluid and deep enough to keep things enjoyable.

Graphics and Sound:  
Mutants in Manhattan opts for a cel-shaded style that mimics both the IDW comics and the original Mirage Comics at times. The TMNT look really good; I enjoyed their characterisations, banter, and animations, though I was a bit put off by the bizarre decision to give them noses. While they don’t have very interesting idle animations, their weapons come out as they run along and you can command them to strike a pose or start dancing, which is fun. Everything runs really smoothly and I had no instances of slowdown or major glitches; the controls are responsive and attacks hit with a meaty impact that is very satisfying. Even better, the game uses the in-game models, with some upscaling, for its cutscenes, which are fully animated and voiced, though the game opts for a sound-a-like rap/rock soundtrack rather than recreating the classic TMNT theme. The plot might not be the most original TMNT story in the world and there was some obvious assumptions on the player’s familiarity with TMNT lore, especially from the IDW comics, but I enjoyed it and like the characterisation of the TMNT. It also helped that April and Splinter appear in the cutscenes and throughout to offer advice and upgrade your gear, and that the bosses you encounter are large, detailed, and varied even if the regular goons aren’t much to shout about.

The cel-shaded style really works for the game and its appealing characterisations of the TMNT.

Equally, the game’s environments aren’t anything you haven’t seen in basically every other TMNT videogame; you’ll battle on the city streets and rooftops, traverse the somewhat maze-like sewers, and end up in the Shredder’s futuristic, neon-filled lair, but the presentation benefits from the cel-shaded visuals. Stages also mix things up by using different times of day, switching to different areas (you’ll be downtown in one mission and then up high on skyscrapers later on), and even depicting the city under attack and on fire from Krang’s assault! The sewers were surprisingly engaging; you’ll have to open shutters, dive down manholes, and avoid toxic gunk that turns you into a mindless zombie on contact. When battling Slash, the arena is in near total darkness, giving it a horror edge, though you can activate a light switch to see things better. You’ll also descend into the subway, where you’ll take out various colourful gangs and have to avoid speeding trains that can hit with devastating force. While opposing Karai and Wingnut, you’ll need to bounce and glide between skyscrapers, avoid lightning strikes, and ride wind currents to traverse the skyline, and even briefly battle enemies on top of a speeding subway train! For the most part, stages are just big enough where it’s fun to explore to find optional missions or collectibles but not so big as to be intimidating or outstay their welcome.

Enemies and Bosses:
Mutants in Manhattan doesn’t exactly deviate from the usual TMNT formula when it comes to its enemies. You’ll be pummelling the Foot Clan, punk-like Purple Dragons, robotic Mousers, and formidable Rock Soldiers throughout each level, with the enemies being so interchangeable that they’re rarely referred to be name and simply called “the enemy” whenever they spawn in. The Foot can appear in a puff of smoke and sometimes wield bags of explosives (which you can use to your advantage) or briefly tie you up using thrown bola-like chains; “elite” versions of the Foot are also present and are more proficient in swordplay, requiring better use of your blocking and dodging. Enemy helicopters and scouts often pop into the area and will increase the aggression of the enemies if you’re spotted; you’ll also have to watch out for Utroms in little UFOs that fire beams at you that mess up your controls or encase you in a bouncy bubble, amongst other negative effects (though these can also affect enemies, too). Mousers aren’t really a bother, though they will explode in your face if you don’t dispatch them first, meaning the game’s most formidable enemies are the Rock Soldiers. These guys absorb attacks like a sponge and their larger, hammer-wielding elites can be a serious headache thanks to constantly causing shockwaves with their attacks, and you’ll also battle nine iconic TMNT antagonists. As is often the case, the first two bosses you’ll come up against are Bebop and Rocksteady; in fact, Bebop has a random chance or appearing during Rocksteady’s boss battle and the two exhibit attacks and capabilities not unlike their arcade counterparts. Bebop, for example, is fought in a claustrophobic bank vault; he’ll hop about a bit, swipe at you with his chainsaw, and blast at you with a futuristic laser pistol.

After enduring four monstrous mutants, your skills will be tested by the agile Karai.

Rocksteady is fought in the subway so you’ll need to be just as mindful of any speeding trains as you are his sledgehammer attacks, grenade launcher, and the grenades both mutant monsters rain into the arena. Neither are much of a bother if you stay locked onto them, though, and make use of your Ninjutsu attacks and the dodge mechanics. Even when they team up, they’re not too tough and you can even make use of the trains to deal additional damage. The third boss is a bit more formidable; you’ll fight the rampaging Slash in a dark area of the sewers, avoiding his manic claw swipes, rolling attack, and charges. He’s definitely a bit more aggressive than the previous bosses and it can be difficult to see him if you don’t flick on the lights; he can also be joined by another boss, Armaggon, to increase the challenge on offer. After defusing her bombs and taking out her goons, you’ll battle Karai in the girders of a skyscraper. Unlike the other bosses fought in the game, Karai is swift and agile, easily leaping out of harm’s way, attacking with a sword dash, and sending you flying with a tornado spin. She’s also the only boss who sends her minions after you during the battle, meaning you have to employ a little more skill than with the other bosses. After that, you’ll face Armaggon in the submerged sewers; Armaggon pops out of the toxic goo surrounding a circular platform and attacks with frantic chomps of his ravenous jaws, an impressive cartwheel tail swipe, and even spits purple goo at you to leave you disorientated.

The endgame bosses prove a greater challenge and there are even secret, even tougher versions to face!

One of the most diverse bosses is Wingnut; this mutated bat initially attacks in a large UFO, from which he fires missiles and lasers, though you can make use of the handy-dandy nearby turrets to bring him down. Although he’s relieved of his fancy toy in the second phase, he’s by no means less dangerous; in fact, Wingnut was the toughest boss I’d faced up to that point and actually caused me to use a continue to best him. He hovers above you swiping with his talons and sending out a spread of lasers and a larger, far more devastating laser blast from the orbs that circle him. Wingnut covers a large portion of the arena with a big spin attack; though this leaves him dizzy, it can deal big damage to you and your allies, making him a surprisingly formidable opponent considering how comical he is. When you infiltrate the Techno Cosmic Research Institute (T.C.R.I.), you’ll have the joys of battling all of these bosses once again with hallways filled with power-ups, enemies, and security cameras placed between each bout, though nothing has changed from any of the fights except the environment and that Wingnut no longer attacks in his UFO. Once you beat them all again, you’ll reach the control room and battle Krang in his oddly-designed android body. Although Krang sports an intimidating arsenal, from homing missiles to explosive bolts and a massive laser attack, he’s very slow and can get temporarily stuck in the floor when he executes his melee attacks. The next stage sees you battling Mega Krang, however, and he’s absolutely nothing to sniff at. Here, you’re best off making use of the Krangdroids to fire lasers, missiles, and charged punches because this gigantic version of Krang can temporarily destroy the buildings you’re standing on, send huge orbs of energy at you, and fire missiles and lasers from his hands. He’s a massive target, though, and his attacks are easy to avoid and telegraph; he also briefly collapses after you deal enough damage, allowing you to pummel his big holographic, brain-like head, but he’s definitely the toughest boss in the game. After you defeat him, you’ll finally confront the Shredder on a rotating helipad platform high above the city. Like Karai, the Shredder is more agile and swift in his attacks; he slashes at you, delivers martial arts kicks, tosses out barbed traps, and even sends pieces of rock flying at you. He sports a charging dash, a tornado spin, and the longest health bar of any boss in the game, and there’s also an even tougher secret version of the Shredder you can battle as well!

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Every stage features a number of green and red orbs floating about the place; while you can just touch the green orbs to collect them, the red ones will need to be broken with your shuriken and each will offer a different item for you to use in battle. These range from a slice to a full pizza to restore your health, drinks to temporarily buff your speed, power, or defence, and more offensive weaponry such as fireworks, bombs, turrets, and freezing blocks. You can purchase more of these from the TMNT’s lair using the manhole covers and you’ll also gain them from defeating enemies, and they can be really useful against large groups of enemies and in boss battles. You’ll also earn BP that you can use to acquire new Ninjutsu abilities and upgrade them, alongside loot, when modifying your characters. You can also equip up to three Charms (depending on what difficulty you’re playing on) to each Turtle; these can also be upgraded (or dismantled for new loot) to be more effective and provide buffs such as inflicting poison on enemies, reducing cooldown times, earning you a discount on items, and increasing the drop rate of items. If you accomplish certain feats in battle, such as using takedowns or defeating certain numbers of enemies and such, you’ll also earn Emblems you can equip to each Turtle, though this doesn’t seem to serve a useful in-game function. Each Turtle also levels up from battle, which doesn’t increase their stats or anything but instead allows you to purchase new Ninjutsu moves to use, effectively functioning as a means to purchase new abilities from a skill tree, of sorts.

Additional Features:
There are fifty Achievements up for grabs in Mutants in Manhattan and, surprisingly, they actually require a bit of effort to earn. Rather than simply being awarded an Achievement for beating each boss, you’ll need to travel a certain distance, both on foot and on rails, detonate explosive barrels, take out security cameras and devices, and complete a set number of missions to earn your G. Achievements are also dished out for playing online, battling secret bosses, and being in specific situations during the snapshots that play whenever a boss is defeated. It’s advised to play alongside friends in order to better sync up your chances of earning some of these Achievements, and a fair few of them depend on luck and replaying stages over and over to spawn in specific missions. There are three difficulty settings to choose from, with a fourth being unlockable, and numerous collectibles to find, including comic book covers and movies but, sadly, no additional characters or skins to unlock (you’ll need to have been lucky enough to get the downloadable content to access those).

The Summary:
I was actually presently surprised by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan. I’d heard that it was a bit of a disappointment, so I wasn’t exactly expecting too much from it, but it turned out to be a pretty good brawler. At first, I was worried it was going to be too open-world, and then I was a bit frustrated by the mission-based structure of it, but it quickly became an enjoyable romp with just enough depth to be interesting but not too much stuff happening that it becomes confusing and full of grinding and micromanagement. The TMNT were fun to play as and brought to life really well; the AI system was ridiculously competent (almost too competent in some instances, especially when I was trying for Achievements) and the stages are just the right length and have just enough variety to not get boring. Things are very linear but there’s a degree of randomness to certain events; exploration is limited but usually rewarding; and it’s fun to experiment with different Ninjutsu combinations and Charm effects. The highlight of the game for me were the boss battles; large, intimidating, challenging, and recognisable TMNT villains act as the focal point of each stage and they were really enjoyable to battle against, with each one being just different enough to not be boring or aggravating, and I honestly didn’t even really mind the forced boss rush in the endgame since they were so much fun to fight. I imagine the game is even more fun to play with a friend and this was the closest I’ve seen a 3D TMNT videogame come to emulating the pick-up-and-play arcade-style action of the games I enjoyed so much as a kid. It’s not perfect by any means and is maybe a little too short and too lacking in content, but it’s certainly more appealing than some TMNT videogames and I definitely wouldn’t say no to jumping back in and trying to grind out some more of those Achievements.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutants in Manhattan? What did you think to the combat and abilities of the TMNT? Which of the bosses was your favourite to battle and what did you think to the forced boss rush? Did you struggle with any of the missions on offer? What did you think to the BP and Ninjutsu system? Did you ever experience all the secret bosses and earn all of the Achievements? How did you celebrate the TMNT’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on Mutants in Manhattan, leave a comment down below or on my social media and check out my other TMNT content across the site.

Game Corner [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT (Xbox 360)

Dr. K2 Comments

The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. Even now, the TMNT continue to be an influential and popular commodity, proving that some fads don’t die out…they just get stronger!

Released: 20 March 2007
Developer: Ubisoft Montreal
Also Available For: GameCube, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii, PC, PlayStation 2, PlayStation Portable (PSP)

The Background:
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (known as Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles here in the United Kingdom) dominated playgrounds during my youth thanks to the super popular cartoon and toys, but the impact of their videogames cannot be understated. Konami’s original arcade title was one of the defining titles of the beat-‘em-up genre, the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) title all-but defined what it meant to be “NES Hard”, and the Heroes in a Half-Shell saw success in a variety of genres. Although the critical and commercial mauling of their much-lambasted third live-action venture meant it took the better part of fifteen years for them to return to cinema screens, new TMNT videogames, cartoons, and toys continued to be produced. With TMNT (Munroe, 2007) set to be the franchise’s big return to cinema, one that would encompass different aspects of the franchise, it was only natural that it was accompanied by a videogame adaptation; this was the style of the time, after all. At this point, the licensing rights were owned by Ubisoft and the developers sought to take the family-orientated nature of the TMNT and translate it into a brawler for unique gameplay mechanics. Unfortunately, TMNT was met with mixed reviews that criticised its simplicity, repetitive combat, and lack of content. Direct comparisons were made to the arcade games of yesteryear and the reviews felt as though TMNT failed to measure up to these standards as, despite capturing the visual style of the movie, the focus on platforming and mind-numbing gameplay failed to excite compared to what had come before.

The Plot:
Following the defeat of Oroku Saki/The Shredder, the TMNT have drifted apart; leader Leonardo is off training in Central America and hot-headed Raphael is secretly busting heads as a masked vigilante known as the Nightwatcher. However, the brothers come together again when mythical creatures rampage through New York City as part of an ancient ritual.

Gameplay:
TMNT falls into the rare and frankly bonkers category of being a TMNT videogame that is focused solely on a single player experience, despite the fact that many levels see you not only switching between the four brothers but also pulling off team-up attacks! Instead, the game is framed as the TMNT reminiscing about their newest big-screen adventure alongside their master and father-figure, Splinter. The player controls each of the Turtles individually, and eventually gets access to all four of them, across sixteen story-based levels heavily inspired by locations and events from the movie and focused heavily on combat and, surprisingly, a great deal of platforming. The player can jump with A (executing a double jump if A is pressed again in mid-air), use Y to knock enemies flying with a spin attack (or hold the button for a flurry of attacks), strike hard and fast with their signature weapons by pressing B (holding it for an overpowered dash attack that sees you automatically zip towards any nearby enemies or mashing the button to string together basic combos), and switch characters, when available, with X. The player can also use the shoulder buttons to dodge and block when in combat, though I had no need for this for the most part, and holding one of these shoulder triggers in conjunction with X pulls off co-operative attacks, such as tossing your Turtle across large gaps or at enemies.

While the TMNT have their own signature styles, repetitive combat and platforming runs rampant.

As you’d expect from a TMNT videogame, the four mutants all look and play very similar and are separated by their slightly different voices and quirky personalities and their signature weapons. The very nature of these weapons means that characters like Leonardo and Donatello have greater reach than Raphael and Michelangelo and, for the most part, TMNT doesn’t get more complicated than categorising Leo as the “balanced” character and having Mikey focus more on executing a flurry of melee attacks. However, they do have distinctive special abilities that can be pulled off by holding the Right Bumper and pressing X or B: Leo can phase through bars, Don can “bo vault” across large gaps, Mikey spins his nunchakus like helicopter blades to float for a short period of time, and Raph can climb certain walls (as indicated by glowing red rectangles and dialogue prompts) with his sais. The player will also get to control Raph’s armoured alter ego, the Nightwatcher, at various points. Although he plays very similar to Raph and the others, he builds up an additional “Rage Meter” that, when full, allows him to pull off an area blast with RB and B or gives him a power boost when only partially full. Success in combat awards you stars and builds your “Family Bond Meter”, allowing you to pull off the aforementioned team attacks and a screen-clearing “Mega Attack”, and you can execute a ground punch to get some breathing room by pressing B in mid-air. You also have a decent variety of traversal options in the game’s platforming sections. The TMNT can grab ledges to shimmy across gaps or simply run along walls for a short period. They can also scale vertical walls using handholds, swing from poles, and, if you stand completely still, your Turtle will meditate and slowly regain health (though the Nightwatcher seems exempt from this).

The game offers little challenge or variety, featuring simple platforming and button mashing.

There’s no real incentive to do this, however, as you’re not only penalised with a lower grade if you take too long to complete stages but you can simply mash the A button when your health is drained to return to the fight, with no danger of failure at any time. Each stage is incredibly linear and filled with checkpoints, allowing you to easily respawn if you miss a jump or plunge to your doom, and you can simply mash A if you get stuck in toxic waste. Stages demand very little from you other than to follow a set path, hopping across rooftops, fences, and from platform to platform in a shameless aping of Frogger (Konami, 1981) as you traverse the game’s limited and repetitive environments. Occasionally, you’ll encounter various hurdles to break up the monotony: the Foot Clan will have placed trip wires that activate arrow hazards, the game switches to a 2.5D perspective a few times as you scale the outside of buildings, you’ll hop to temporary or moving platforms, and at one point have to quickly scale a shaft, battling with the stubborn camera, to avoid regular laser blasts. A couple of other times, you’ll have to race towards the camera Crash Bandicoot-style (Naughty Dog, 1996) as the environment crumbles around you, avoid bursts of flame, electrified hazards, and laser traps, run through a super simplistic hedge maze, and cross the New York skyline using parade balloons but it all gets very samey very quickly. Combat is much of the same; each combat encounter takes place in a pre-set area, meaning a variety of goons come at you at specific points and you’re forced to fend them off to progress. I had very little use for the block or dodge mechanics and found it much easier to simply knock the enemies away, charge up an attack, and then pummel them with simple weapon combos in order to move on as quickly as possible.

Graphics and Sound:  
Graphically, TMNT is a bit of a mixed bag; the four Turtles look really good, emulating their big-screen counterparts and even their voice actors reprise their roles. Depending on the story chapter you’re playing, the TMNT will slightly change up their looks; Leo sports a cloak when in the jungle, for example, and Mikey’s first stage sees him garbed in his “Cowabunga Carl” costume, though there are no options to unlock these as permanent skins. As you play, the TMNT will offer the usual commentary praising your fighting skills but also chime in to advance the story with the benefit of hindsight. Unfortunately, the music is incredibly generic and, like the movie, opts for more of a sound-a-like than anything resembling the classic TMNT theme song. The goons you fight aren’t very visually interesting either, and the game’s cutscenes have a serious case of identity crisis. For the most part, the story progresses using barely-animated comic book panels that are visually inconsistent with the source material. In-game cutscenes are few and far between, with only a handful occurring near the end of the game, and, most surprisingly of all, TMNT features very little film footage, and what is there is grainy and oddly placed.

The game’s visuals are all over the place, though the Nightwatcher’s noir-style stages stand out.

Most disappointing of all is the level variety. New York City has never looked more blocky and deserted in a TMNT videogame; you’ll constantly be running and jumping across rooftops and alleyways that all look and feel very similar, despite the time of day changing or tossing in parts of Chinatown and recognisable landmarks in the background. When you’re not on the streets or rooftops, you’re in the sewers, hopping to platforms or running along the tunnel walls, or in Max Winters’ high-tech building riding elevators and avoiding lasers. There is a part where you enter a Chinese-style temple full of lily pads and ornate decorations, which was kind of interesting, and you’ll have to traverse water wheels and a steel mill full of molten lava in order to progress, too. Generally, the game runs okay but I did experience odd periods of slowdown and it’s all very bland and by-the-numbers and feels very padded out, but things do get visually interesting when playing as the Nightwatcher. Not only is Raph’s vigilante persona chunkier and a little different to control but his levels all take place in a black and white filter that emulates the original Mirage Comics and helps to break up the visual repetition of the game. There’s also a point where Leo confronts the Nightwatcher and chases him across the city; when Leo is ambushed, the player switches to controlling an unmasked Nightwatcher and backtracking to help their brother, which did mix things up but these cutscenes were let down by the rigidity of the in-game models and the reliance of pop-in character portraits rather than mouth animations.

Enemies and Bosses:
There are a few different factions of enemies that will oppose you throughout TMNT, none of them being all that interesting conceptually, visually, or as enemies. In the jungles, you’ll encounter machete- and gun-wielding mercenaries; street punks come at you with blunt weapons and bravado; and you’ll occasionally encounter more tech-orientated goons in the sewer who jab at you with electrified sticks. Naturally, you’ll also battle the Foot Clan on more than one occasion; these black-clad ninjas attack with swords and arrows but aren’t much of a threat, despite their numbers. Other enemies may toss projectiles, such as acid beakers, and you’ll generally face far more goons as the Nightwatcher in order to build up his rage meter faster, but there aren’t any of the classic TMNT enemies to find here, like Mousers or the Stone Warriors, most likely because they didn’t feature in the movie and the developers were hyper-focused on bombarding you with 3D platforming sections.

Of the thirteen ancient monsters, you’ll only fight four and they’ll flee before you can finish them off!

Considering the source material revolves around thirteen mythical beasts rampaging through New York City, you’d think that TMNT would include a decent variety of boss battles but, sadly, you’d be mistaken. You’ll encounter seven bosses throughout the game; four of those are fought on two separate occasions, which is already pretty cheap, but you also won’t even defeat a boss until your reach the boss gauntlet at the end of the game. The first boss you encounter is General Gato, who hops around a circular arena tossing spines at you, lunging at you with blade swipes, or charging up a spray of projectiles in the middle of the arena. Simply dodge and jump over his projectiles and deliver a beatdown when he comes close and you’ll soon have him on the run. Next, you encounter the Yeti crashing his way through buildings before settling in a construction site. This ape-like brute throws slow, powerful haymakers, delivers a ground slam, and goes absolutely mental after you drain enough of his health but, again, flees before you can deliver a decisive blow. General Mono is easily the worst of the bosses; this hulking brute wields a massive hammer that he constantly smashes to the ground to create shockwaves; he also leaps into the air to come crashing down on you and is easily able to tank your combos. The fourth mystical creature you battle is Serpientei, easily the most agile and versatile of the group thanks to her ability to teleport, spit acid, race at you with a dashing strike, and unleash a charged strike. Halfway through the fight, Serpientei spews acid on Raph and the other TMNT will arrive to help, allowing you to make full use of your Mega Attacks to finish her off.

Besting Shredder and the final boss is much easier with your team-up attacks.

All four of these bosses reappear in a boss rush at the end of the game and are fought one after the other, with checkpoints and a barrage of lightning to avoid between each one. This time, you fight them in a circular arena that, if you fall out of, will see you instantly fail and have to retry from the last checkpoint, something which is incredibly frustrating when battling General Mono again. Of the four bosses, this guy easily poses the biggest problem as he absorbs your attacks like a sponge and unleashes a massive explosive hammer slam that will instantly KO you off the arena unless you interrupt his attack by tossing a Turtle at him. Despite only briefly appearing in the movie, you’ll also battle the TMNT’s archenemy, the Shredder, courtesy of a flashback; much like Shredder battles from the TMNT’s arcade games, Saki summons duplicates of himself and tosses kunai, but he’s not a very intimidating foe and is easily dispatched without much trouble. Finally, after defeating the Shredder and dealing with the four mystical creatures once again, you’ll battle General Augila, who immediately reduces the size of the boss arena and proves invulnerable to conventional attack. General Augila will attack with a spread of laser beams, tossing out multiple arrows, raining fireballs, and firing energy waves at you while spinning his sword; he also constantly floats around the arena between attacks, making him a difficult target, and can restore his health. However, you’ll notice that each of his attacks is colour-coded and this is your key to victory; simply switch to the appropriate Turtle and unleash your Mega Attack to damage him and he goes down without much fuss (certainly easier for me than the second battle with General Mono!)

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Strangely, unlike pretty much every single TMNT videogame, there aren’t any power-ups or pick-ups in TMNT. As the Turtles restore their health through meditation and there is no life system, you won’t be picking up pizzas or extra lives and there are no temporary power-ups to find; you simply need to pummel enemies to build your meters and that’s it. There are no fire hydrants to attack, no additional weapons to pick up, no explosive barrels, or anything like that, making it a bit of a step back compared to its arcade predecessors.

Additional Features:
There are twenty-three Achievements to grab here, and you should have no trouble earning all of them in no time at all. Sixteen of them are awarded simply for completing each of the game’s stages; you’ll get another four for using each of the TMNT’s special moves, one for finishing a level without taking damage, one for doing a co-op attack, and one for collecting your first Gold Coin. There are no difficulty settings here so you don’t have to worry about finishing the game on harder modes and, while you do get a rank at the end of every stage, there are no Achievements tied to getting any of these, making these Achievements a breeze to get. Every level contains a number of Silver Coins; collecting these adds to your rank and allows you to purchase “goodies” from the main menu. Sadly, rather than these unlocking new skins or characters (April O’Neil and Casey Jones are nowhere to be found here), you simply unlock big head mode and daft weapons and sound effects. Clearing a level allows you to replay it and grab a Gold Coin for more points and that Achievement and also unlocks a virtual reality Challenge Map, where you must complete a wireframe obstacle course in a time limit (though, again, there’s nothing to gain from this).

The Summary:
I have a certain expectation when it comes to TMNT videogames; it’s not exactly a high standard or anything, I just expect them to be fun, colourful, arcade-style brawlers and not much else. In this respect, I was fully expecting to still enjoy TMNT despite it having the stigma of being a videogame adaptation, but this game really misses the mark. As much as I enjoy the movie it’s based on, I can’t say the same for the game, which pads out its playtime with an overabundance of visually boring platforming sections and repetitive combat. It’s not long before you’ve seen everything TMNT has to offer and the level of challenge here is so low that you’ll quickly become bored by it all. There’s no skill to the game, no new moves or power-ups to earn, and you can’t even play it with a friend, which has to be some kind of cardinal sin for a TMNT videogame at this point. Bland environments and a stubborn unwillingness to expand or deviate from the source material clashes with a disjointed visual style and a lack of content from the movie, making the whole experience very basic and slapped together. The game controls well and, at times, does look pretty good, but the lack of options, disappointing bosses, frustrating camera and finicky controls, and mediocre challenge on offer make it only really worth playing to bump up your gamer score. If you can find it cheap, I’d say it’s worth snapping up for this reason alone and to make you appreciate the TMNT’s 2D adventures all the more, but the lack of playable characters and lacklustre Achievements and gameplay modes mean this game is easily forgettable and little more than a barebones brawler/platformer designed to cash-in on a popular franchise.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever played TMNT? If so, what did you think to it, especially compared to other TMNT videogames? What did you think to the presentation of the game and its focus on 3D platforming and repetitive combat? Which of the TMNT was your favourite to play as? Were you also disappointed by the lack of content and challenge on offer here? Which of the bosses was the most frustrating for you? Did you ever clear all the Challenge Maps? What are some of your most, or least, favourite videogame adaptations and how are you celebrating the TMNT’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on the TMNT, leave a comment down below.

Movie Night [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT

Dr. K5 Comments

The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. Even now, the TMNT continue to be an influential and popular commodity, proving that some fads don’t die out…they just get stronger!

Released: 23 March 2007
Director: Kevin Munroe
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures / The Weinstein Company
Budget: $34 million
Stars: James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North, Mikey Kelley, Mitchell Whitfield, Patrick Stewart, Zhang Ziyi, and Mako Iwamatsu/Greg Baldwin

The Plot:
Since defeating Oroku Saki/The Shredder, the TMNT have drifted apart; leader Leonardo (Taylor) is training in Central America and hot-headed Raphael (North) is secretly busting heads as the masked vigilante the Nightwatcher. However, the brothers are forced to come together again when thirteen mythical creatures rampage through New York City as part of an ancient ritual.

The Background:
Created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird as a violent pastiche of comic book tropes, the TMNT were catapulted to mainstream success by the unbelievably popular 1987 cartoon. Perhaps naturally, this success led to a live-action feature film. Hiwey, although Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Barron, 1990) proved to be a technically impressive financial success and the under-rated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (Pressman, 1991) did well despite comparatively mixed reviews, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (Gillard, 1993) broke the cycle and both bombed at the box office and was widely derided as one of the lowest points in the franchise. After plans for a fourth film were scrapped and an attempt to produce an all-CGI revival in early-2000 fell through, production on a new TMNT project finally got underway after fifteen years away from cinema screens. The decision to go all-CGI was based on a desire to tell a more surreal story and the escalating budgets of the previous films. Director Kevin Munroe aimed to tell a darker story to appeal to a more mature audience while still staying true to the core appeal of the characters and the continuity established by the previous films. The animation was handled by Imagi Animation Studios, who looked to film noir and Hong Kong action movies to create the film’s visual style, and the movie was dedicated to screen legend Mako after he sadly died shortly after completing his work on the film. With a box office of $95.6 million, TMNT became the second-highest-grossing movie in the franchise but was met with largely negative reviews; critics questioned the overly serious tone, the focus on style over tangible substance, and the nonsensical plot, though the visual style was praised. Although accompanied by a five-issue prequel comic and a mediocre videogame tie-in, plans for a sequel were ultimately scrapped due to TMNT’s poor reception and the later collapse of Imagi Animation Studios, resulting in a completely unrelated live-action/CGI hybrid reboot in 2014 before returning to animation in 2023.

The Review:
It’s always surprising to me how a premise as bonkers as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles finds ways to go even further out there with its content and stories. As early as their initial issues, the TMNT were battling robots, travelling across the galaxy, and encountering strange semi-cybernetic alien lifeforms. As much as I prefer the street-level adventures of the TMNT, I have enjoyed their more bizarre escapades and enemies, which have come from different dimensions, timelines, and worlds and have long expanded the TMNT’s world beyond simply battling ninjas on the streets of New York City. However, for the most part, the TMNT’s cinematic adventures tend to be more grounded; this, as much as anything, made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle III stand out as quite the anomaly, but TMNT also offers up a surreal plot for the mutant brothers, though the differences between the two can be chalked up to their execution and tone. It helps that TMNT opens with a narration from the always-awesome Laurence Fishburne that not only positions this film into the loose canon of the existing movies (Splinter’s (Iwamatsu/Baldwin) trophy shelf also reinforces this, containing mementos from the previous films, even if the TMNT’s characters are slightly different) but also gives some insight into the legend of warlord Yaotl. Three thousand years ago, the warrior king and his brotherhood carved a path of destruction and conquest across the globe that culminated in him opening a portal into a parallel universe to gain immortality but at the cost of his generals being turned to stone and thirteen immortal monsters being unleashed from the rift, eventually serving as the inspiration for famous mythical monsters over the centuries.

While Leo has been off training, the TMNT have fractured and lost their camaraderie.

When we rejoin the titular turtles, they’ve been fractured; Leonardo has spent over a year in Central America on the orders of his master and father-figure, Splinter. Although Leo’s training ended some time ago, he feels he hasn’t yet fulfilled his mission to become a better leader and has come to believe his efforts to protect the locals as the “Ghost of the Forest” is more important than his duties back home. However, Leo is stunned when his old friend and former news reporter turned-antiquities-dealer April O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) arrives in Central America looking to source rare pieces for her boss, business tycoon Max Winters (Stewart), and tells him all about how Donatello (Whitfield) now “does machines” by working an exasperating job as a remote tech support, Michelangelo (Kelley) dresses up as “Cowabunga Carl” to act as a children’s entertainer, and Raphael (North) has largely ostracised himself from the group, sleeping all day to recover from his nightly jaunts as the armour-clad vigilante the Nightwatcher. Each of Leo’s brothers are aggravated by their situation in their own way; while Don appears content to let the past go and focus on contributing to their welfare, even Mikey, traditionally the most jovial of the bunch, expresses frustration at how boring their lives have become. While Mikey is in awe of the Nightwatcher, Don isn’t so convinced, believing he’s doing more harm than good, while Raph is obviously all for the vigilante filling the void his “has-been” brothers have left behind. Proud of his son for having grown stronger, Splinter encourages Leo to bring his brothers back together as a team before they return to vigilantism and encourages each of them to see their situation as a learning opportunity to acknowledge their flaws and grow stronger, though there’s a definite sense of scepticism amongst his sons even when Leo returns as they’ve gotten a little rusty working together.

Resentful of Leo’s leadership, Raph frequently clashes with his brother and lashes out in frustration.

Strangely, Leo is also unimpressed by the Nightwatcher’s efforts; while he accepts fellow vigilante Casey Jones (Chris Evans) as a trusted ally and the TMNT have their ninja training to fall back on, Leo believes the Nightwatcher is putting himself in unnecessary danger by meddling in crimefighting. While the others may be unaware of Raph’s nightly activities, Casey isn’t; constantly shirking his chores and missing appointments as April’s muscle thanks to his late-night excursions, Casey not only delights in busting heads alongside Raph but also opens up to him about his fears of a long-term commitment with April since he doesn’t feel mature enough to be the man she needs. Raph also opens up about his frustrations with Leo, which are surprisingly complex; he resents his brother for leaving, but also admits that he would probably do the same if he could only let go of his love for the noisy, violent city they call home. Despite Raph constantly criticising him, Leo tries his best to pull his brothers together but they’ve grown impulsive and immediately disregard his (and even Splinter’s) orders to avoid fighting, which results in them not only failing to subdue the Bigfoot but also taking quite a beating, too. Raph’s recklessness and loyalty to his friend later sees him drugged by a Foot dart and once again finds himself unconscious in April’s care. Luckily, he has one of the Stone Generals’ throwing stars stuck in his shell, and April’s knowledge of ancient lore allows her to piece together not just an explanation behind the monsters that’ve cropped up in the city but also Winters’ involvement in the plot.

Although he seems evil, Winters actually wants to atone for his past and end his immortality.

April is now capable enough to work with Don to calculate when and how the dimensional rift will open and also showcases enough ninja training to join her allies in the finale. April also assists Winters in obtaining the legendary petrified generals but, while he assumes the façade of a charming and affluent collector of ancient relics, Winters secretly hires the remnants of the Foot Clan, led by Shredder’s former lieutenant, Karai (Zhang), to capture the thirteen monsters and bring them to him. When inside Winters’ vast skyscraper, the film veers towards the absurd somewhat; Winters favours a distinct stone-and-marble aesthetic, one that’s made up of centuries of relics and an unnaturally long life amassing an impressive fortune, but that’s also home to an impossibly large, steampunk-themed facility specifically designed to siphon the interdimensional power of the rift by sacrificing the captured monsters. No mere businessman, Winters easily intimidates Karai and the Foot after awakening his old allies, General Aguila (Kevin Michael Richardson), General Serpiente (Paula Mattioli), and General Gato (Fred Tatasciore), imposing, nigh-immortal warriors who eventually conspire against Winters when they realise that his goal is no longer world conquest. Although thirteen monsters cause havoc throughout the city, only a handful feature prominently, and some are barely glimpsed. The first one seen is the gargoyle-like Succubor, which feasts on birds and Raph and Casey witness being captured by the Foot and the Stone Generals. However, the first monster that the TMNT encounters is the Bigfoot, a rampaging, ape-like yeti that manhandles the Foot atop a construction site before being captured by General Aquila. Through the power of a montage, the Foot and the Stone Generals subdue all but two of the legendary monsters in quick succession, meaning the most prominent monster is the diminutive, voracious Jersey Devil, which the Nightwatcher battles in a diner kitchen. After deciding to maintain their immortality and unleash a legion of monsters upon the world, the Stone Generals turn against Winters and substitute Leo for the final monster, reducing these visually interesting creatures to mere plot points.

The Nitty-Gritty:
As much as I enjoyed the first two TMNT movies and admire the excellent suits and animatronics used to bring them to life, there’s no doubt in my mind that going all CGI is a much better way to bring these bizarre characters to screen. In fact, the only downsides I have about the TMNT’s appearances in this movie are that they’re not as easy to tell apart as their predecessors and successors. Yes, they have different weapons, voices, and bandanas but they’re not as physically distinct; like, usually they have different colourings or Raph is bulkier, for example. Additionally, they’re a little too frog-like in their movements. I’m okay with this, however, as they move and fight with a kinetic, superhuman quality that results in some fun and fast-paced sequences. TMNT also gets extra points not just for evoking the original Mirage Comics in its visuals, especially when the TMNT are traversing the city at night, but in its violence. While there’s no blood or bodily dismemberment, there’s a surprising amount of explicit and implicit violence in TMNT; Leo is very heavily implied to have killed the soldiers who ransacked the village under his protection and the film opens with Yaotl and his brotherhood ruthlessly cutting down their enemies. Committing to an all-CGI production certainly allows TMNT to maintain a consistent visual style; while the TMNT and the various monsters are obviously fantastical creatures, this is a hyper-realistic animated world, where stick-thin characters like April co-exist alongside the absurdly broad-shouldered Winters. The entire film is steeped in a murky darkness that really adds to the atmosphere and again harkens back to the original Mirage Comics; Leo’s brutal confrontation with the Nightwatcher notably stands out due to the rain and storm effects adding to the emotional conflict. Although the city can appear a little barren at times, there are a few instances of armed street punks running afoul of the Nightwatcher to help give the location a bit of life.

Raph’s hot-headed attitude leads to him clashing with Leo and being forced to make amends.

It’s not uncommon for TMNT stories to focus on themes of family and brotherhood, but TMNT is the first movie to really delve into these aspects beyond just depicting a sense of camaraderie and rivalry between the four. The film begins with the family dynamic splintered (no pun intended) in a way we rarely see; Leo is in Central America, honing his ninja and leadership skills, leaving his brothers to fend for themselves with menial jobs and a general lack of excitement. Feeling abandoned by his brother and frustrated by being stuck in their underground lair all the time, Raph has taken to stalking the streets as the Nightwatcher; as ever, his hot-headedness and antagonistic attitude causes friction between him and Leo when the latter returns since Raph is slighted by Splinter’s apparent favouritism towards his brother. Thus, while Mike and Don are elated to be reunited with their brother, it’s clear that the group’s effectiveness has waned in his absence and a central aspect of the movie is about them learning to trust each other and work collectively as an ass-kicking unit once more. Raph’s resentment towards Leo eventually boils over, causing him to quit the team and his family. When Leo goes to make amends, he confronts the Nightwatcher and, unaware that it’s Raph under the helmet, tries to reason with him following a thrilling rooftop chase across the city. Leo easily dodges the Nightwatcher’s heavy chains but is stunned to find his hot-tempered brother beneath the helmet; the two have a heated exchange and, with their tempers and egos flared, they engage in a brutal scuffle to settle their differences. Although seemingly evenly matched, Raph comes out on top after breaking Leo’s katana but he’s so ashamed at how close he came to killing his brother that he flees into the rainswept night and is unable to keep Leo from being captured by the Stone Generals. Guilt-ridden, Raph confesses his shame to Splinter; after his father commends Raph’s strength of character, Raph resolves to work with his family and friends to storm Winters’ tower and rescue Leo in order to make amends for his recklessness.

After reuniting as a team and family, the TMNT bring Winters the peace he’s longed for.

The theme of family permeates further as it turns out that Winters’ entire motivation is not for conquest or power, but to rid himself and his generals of their immortality and remove the monsters from the world so they can all finally be at peace. As they have no desire to lose their immortality, the Stone Generals capture the monsters for their own ends and force Karai and the Foot Clan to swear allegiance to them. Thus, the TMNT and their allies are forced to fight through an entire legion of Foot Soldiers in a large-scale fight scene that’s far and away beyond anything we’ve seen in a live-action TMNT movie; even Splinter, April, and Casey get in on the action, easily fending off the Foot’s greater numbers to the infectious beat of P.O.D.’s “Lights Out”. With an intense sky beam acting as a ticking clock before the dimensional rift is reopened, the TMNT breaches the tower and successfully rescue Leo; Raph apologises, gifts Leo new katana, and finally recognises his brother’s place as their leader. To his credit, Leo also acknowledges Raph’s importance to the team and family dynamic, and the heroes are surprised to find Winters actually desire the same goal as them: to save the city, dispense of the monsters, and end his long centuries of agonising immortality. Remaining loyal to Winters out of a sense of honour, Karai forges a temporary truce with her enemies. While Casey and April join her and her ninjas in tracking down the final monster, the TMNT finally come together as an efficient and co-ordinated unit to oppose General Aquila and his stone brethren with Winters and Splinter try to contain the beasts from escaping the swirling vortex. Due to the Stone Generals’ immortality, it doesn’t matter how hard or well the TMNT fight but, luckily for them, the Foot and their allies find the last monster, dispel the portal, and finally free Winters of his immortality. Despite Karai threatening that she and the Foot will resume hostilities on their next meeting, the TMNT return to the city streets finally reunited and stronger than ever; Splinter adds a few more mementos to his collection and the brothers head out into the night ready to defend their city from injustice…together at last.  

The Summary:
I really enjoyed TMNT; when I first saw it, the “Heroes in a Half-Shell” had been absent from cinema screens for way too long and I was really digging the visual presentation of the film at the time. While the TMNT had returned to their darker, more violent roots in the intervening years, it always hits a little different when the TMNT make it to the big screen and push those boundaries a little further. While TMNT adopts a very different visual style, one that’s clearly very different from the previous films, it emulates the same tone and gritty atmosphere as the first film and works nicely as a semi-connected continuation of those movies. I really enjoyed the kinetic action and the animation style used to bring the TMNT to life; for the first time on film, they could hop about and perform all kinds of crazy moves that no suit performer could ever match and could encounter many visually interesting creatures. While it’s unfortunate that the monsters and even the Stone Generals aren’t spotlighted more, the focus on the family dynamic more than makes up for this; this wouldn’t be the first or last time that Leo and Raph would butt heads but it’s realised in an intriguing way here. Raph’s resentment towards Leo clashes with his begrudging respect for him, but he’s ultimately unable to contain his temper, leading to them having one of their most intense battles in the entire franchise. I enjoyed the sub-plot of Raph operating as the Nightwatcher and that there was a little more for April, Casey, and even Splinter to do in the finale, but the twist of the bad guy actually seeking to release himself and his family from their never-ending torment was greatly appreciated. I do think TMNT might have benefitted from playing things a little safer and focusing on Karai’s revenge against the TMNT, but I appreciate that the filmmakers tried to do something new and make the most of the revised genre to deliver a fun, mature, and apparently under-rated return to form for the fightin’ mad mutant turtles.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of TMNT? How do you think the film holds up against the other TMNT films? Did you like the all-CGI format or do you prefer the live-action/CGI hybrid format of the previous films? What did you think to the fractured relationship between the TMNT? Did you enjoy seeing Raph operate as the Nightwatcher and go at it with Leo? What did you think to Winters and were you disappointed by the brief screen time of the thirteen monsters? Which of the TMNT is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating the TMNT’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on the TMNT, leave a comment down below or share your thoughts on my social media, and be sure to check out the other TMNT content across my site.