Gillian Church posts regular Writing Prompts on her Horror Prompts Instagram account and I like to take part with a few snippets and pieces of flash fiction.
The Prompts: Cage, Timer, Fur, Froth, Unbearable, Translate
The Submission: The wait was unbearable. Ever since that heavy, rusted door had slammed shut, the timer had been counting down and I was left to stare, terrified, at the beast that frothed at the mouth in its flimsy cage.
Perhaps it was the sheer terror, the blood loss from the stump where my leg had once been (the creature lapped at my tacky blood trail hungrily with a forked tongue), or perhaps it was the drugs, but I just couldn’t translate the situation properly in my head.
All I could do was watch, helplessly, as the timer reached zero. The cage door burst open, and that slobbering, rancid thing was on my, its matted fur reeking of decay, its teeth sinking in…
What did you think to this piece? Did you submit anything for Gillian’s prompts? Have you ever written any flash fiction before? I’d love to know what you think to my snippets and writing prompts, so feel free to sign up and let me know what you think below or leave a comment on my Instagram page. You can also follow Gillian Church and Horror Prompts to take part in regular writing challenges.
Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and popular superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was first bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the true meaning of power and responsibility in Amazing Fantasy #15, which was first published in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in numerous cartoons, live-action movies, videogames, action figures, and countless comic book titles and, in celebration of his debut and his very own day of celebration, I’ve been dedicating every Saturday of August to talk about everyone’s favourite web-head!
Released: 28 June 2004 Developer: Treyarch Also Available For: Game Boy Advance, GameCube, Mac-OS X, N-Gage, Nintendo DS, PC, PlayStation Portable, and Xbox
The Background: Back in the day, it seemed like every single cinema release was accompanied by a videogame adaptation, whether they warranted it or not. Naturally, considering his popularity, Spider-Man has a long and varied history with videogame adaptations across numerous platforms, and developers Treyarch began development of a tie-in to Spider-Man 2(Raimi, 2004) soon after the success of the first movie. No strangers to the wall-crawler, Treyarch sought to dramatically improve upon their previous efforts by incorporating a large populated recreation of New York City, expanding on the film’s story, and placing a heavy emphasis on Spider-Man’s web-slinging. The new system, which utilised ray casting to automatically map infinite points where players could attach webs to swing from, was developed by designer Jamie Fristrom and has long been the subject of praise amongst fans of the videogame, and the character. Indeed, Spider-Man 2 has been met with a surprising amount of positivity for a videogame tie-in; while some of the more repetitive aspects were criticised, reviews praised the combat and controls, seamless open world and mission variety, presentation, and even the minigames. Even in the face of its bigger, more graphically impressive successors, Spider-Man 2 is often lauded as one of the character’s greatest videogame outings; the praise for this game is so great that I was actually a little intimidated to try it out for this review, which is my first time actually playing it.
The Plot: Two years after the events of the first game, Peter Parker is struggling with his personal life and his responsibilities as the superhero Spider-Man. Unable to ignore the threat posed by criminals and supervillains alike, Peter’s social life begins to suffer, but his powers are put to the ultimate test when renowned scientist Doctor Otto Octavius becomes a four-limbed madman and threatens the entire city!
Gameplay: In a change of pace from its predecessor, and basically every Spider-Man title released up until that point, Spider-Man 2 is an open-world adventure in which you’re given free reign to use all of Spider-Man’s amazing abilities throughout one of the largest and most faithful digital recreations of New York City ever seen at that time. Unlike the previous game, which was basically a reskinned version of Neversoft’s fun but limited 2000 adaptation of the web-slinger, Spider-Man is hardly ever trapped in an enclosed environment and thus a primary focus of Spider-Man 2 is on swinging around the city, stopping random crimes and helping non-playable characters (NPCs) with various issues. Thankfully, Spider-Man is more than equipped to handle everything the game has to throw at him, and the controls and combat options have been revised to accommodate this new focus. Spider-Man can attack enemies or interact with objects and NPCs with the Square button; successive presses in conjunction with directional inputs and the Triangle and Circle button will see him pull off combos, often involving webbing and tossing his enemies, and you’ll awkwardly home in on the nearest enemy when in air combat as well. You can stick to walls by pressing Circle, which is also used to evade incoming attacks and bullets whenever Spider-Man’s spider sense goes off (as indicated by his glowing head); this also fills up your “Spider Reflexes” meter and allows you to execute a counter attack but I found evading (and the combat in general) to be a little clunky and haphazard at times, especially as even New York’s most common thugs can take quite a beating and even block against your attacks. Triangle shoots a web; holding the button will temporarily tie enemies up, pressing up and Triangle fires a ball of impact webbing, and you can even use your webs to disarm foes, though it’s next to useless against most bosses and mechanical enemies. Spider-Man jumps with X; pressing it twice performs a double jump and you can hold the button to charge a big jump and executing a jump at the apex of a web sling is crucial to covering vast distances when swinging about. Holding down L2 sees Spidey spring or get a boost to his swing, Triangle (and in conjunction with Circle) will allow you to pick up injured NPCs or grapple thugs, and you can press down to lock-on to nearby targets.
Combat is much improved but the highlight of the game was the ground-breaking web-slinging.
Once the aforementioned meter has a bit of blue in it, you can press L1 to activate your Spider Reflexes, which effectively functions as a form of bullet time, slowing down the action until the meter depletes or you press L1 again and allowing you to better dodge and attack enemies. The meat and potatoes of the game, though, is in the web-slinging; the game offers two options for this, “Easy Swinging” and “Normal Swinging”, with the latter requiring more input from the player to direct Spider-Man’s swings. Either way, R2 sees you throwing a web and swinging through the city but, unlike in every other Spider-Man game before this, you can only web-sling when there are buildings or suitable purchase holds nearby. This means you’ll see Spider-Man veer to the left or right as he shoots webs at the nearest building and allows for the most realistic and innovative web-slinging ever seen. Spider-Man can also eventually web-zip by pressing L2 and R2 together to quickly cover flat distances and you can easily speed through the skyscrapers by attaching to buildings and gaining extra height with your jumps, though you can’t clamber up your web as you swing as in other games, which can make chasing through the city a bit frustrating at times. Equally annoying are the number of dead ends and the various heights of the city’s buildings, which can interrupt your flow; thankfully, the onscreen mini map is a great help for getting around and spotting crimes in progress, side missions, and directing you towards your next story-based objective. You can review these at any time from the pause menu and expand the map out by pressing ‘Select’; this displays the current time and all landmarks and places of note, but sadly doesn’t include the option to place waypoints so you still have to manually read the map and follow the onscreen indicators to get to objectives. Spider-Man 2 is split into chapters, beginning with a simple and in-depth tutorial where Bruce Campbell’s disembodied and snarky voice teaches you the fundamentals of gameplay. To progress through the story, you need to complete story-based objectives; generally, this amounts to following the compass to a certain place in the city to advance the story or confront a boss, but you’ll also need to earn “Hero Points” and acquire new abilities from the various shops dotted across the city.
There’s always someone in peril, or a crime to stop, or a race to be had.
Hero Points are earned from stopping crimes, rescuing civilians, completing time trial races, and other similar distractions; it’s a bit annoying that the game effectively grinds to a halt while you work to obtain the required Hero Points, but you get a fair amount for each side quest you complete and it’s not as if you’re short on things to do. It seems someone’s being mugged or needs help every thirty seconds, and you’ll often stop a burglary only for a child to lose their balloon across the street or an armoured car be attacked a block over. Sometimes, you’ll help an NPC only to be jumped by a gang of thugs in a sneak attack; other times, criminals will hijack vehicles to make a quick getaway and you’ll need to chase them down and land on top of the car, which can be tricky unless you lock-on to it. Once on the roof, you need to pound away with Square and dodge their bullets with Circle until they’re forced out for a fistfight and, as the story progresses, you’ll find burglars and shoot outs often culminating in one of these chase sequences. You’ll also run into Felicia Hardy/Black Cat numerous times throughout the story; each time you do you need to chase after her as she leaps and grapnels around the city, which can be aggravating as she makes erratic turns and it’s difficult to stay on the rooftops. Similarly, you’ll need to chase after Dr. Octopus when he makes an escape in a helicopter and can take on timed challenges where you must race through rings, and the game’s pretty unforgiving, slapping you with failure if you even remotely fall behind or stay too far. More often than not, you’ll face a timer as you race to story-based locations, with the final race to Dr. Ock’s lair being the tightest of them all, or be asked to deliver pizzas and swing over to specific points on the map or skyscrapers to automatically take pictures, or will have to quickly crawl up buildings to rescue civilians in danger or falling, or quickly take injured civilians to the hospital. There’s quite a lot to do in this regard, and it’s fun to pop over to the Daily Bugle and change to Peter Parker in the men’s toilets, but the variety of these side missions soon wears thin as you repeat the same cycle of requests over and over but with more enemies or a tighter time limit.
Graphics and Sound: It’s obvious that a lot more time and effort went into Spider-Man 2 compared to its predecessor; most videogame tie-ins suffer from a rushed development schedule, and this is often reflected in their length, variety, and presentation but Spider-Man 2 does pretty well in all three regards. Spider-Man’s character model is much improved compared to the last game, with far more animations when he’s web-slinging and battering crooks on the streets; Spidey even runs along buildings when he swings close, can perform a variety of mid-air tricks with well-timed jumps, and NPCs will even automatically dodge out his way and throw insults at him when he runs or swings through the streets. Sadly, the enemy models and NPCs don’t fare nearly as well; you’ll see the same polygonal faces and voices repeated over and over, but it’s hard to begrudge this as this was symptomatic of the games of this era. What I can’t defend, however, is the soundtrack and voice acting; once again, the game opts for a soundalike to Danny Elfman’s iconic Spider-Man score that just doesn’t work as well and suffers from awkward looping or disappears entirely for no reason. Only a handful of the movie’s actors returned to voice their polygonal counterparts as well; while Alfred Molina continues to shine as Dr. Octopus, both Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst sound bored to death recording their lines, though I did enjoy that Spider-Man throws quips and monologues to himself as you play. When the character models are used for in-game cutscenes, the game also falls apart under close scrutiny, though the higher quality cinematics fare much better, despite the rubbery appearance of the models, and I liked how the film’s events were recreated but also altered and expanded upon here, even if sub-plots like Peter losing his powers were dropped.
It’s lucky for the ropey cutscenes and voices that the digital recreation of New York is so good.
Naturally, the game’s biggest selling point is the sprawling and bustling recreation of New York; all the landmarks you associate with the city are present and accounted for, alongside recreations of locations from the films such as Peter’s apartment, the Daily Bugle building, Dr. Octopus’s pier lair, and the pizza parlour (though relocated and redesigned here). Not only can you web-sling across the city without any noticeable slowdown or load times, the game also includes a day and night cycle and the story is geared towards pushing you to visiting new areas, such as Roosevelt Island, the Statue of Liberty (accessible only by hitching a ride on a helicopter or using Mysterio’s UFO-like drones), Central Park, and Oscorp. 90% of the game takes place outside amidst the city skyscrapers; traffic and pedestrians mingle around down below, crime is rampant, and the enemies you encounter even change as the story progresses. While you can only enter a handful of buildings, those that you can offer some rewards, such as interacting with the Daily Bugle staff for tasks or purchasing upgrades. The handful of other times you’re forced into a warehouse or an open-air stadium, it’s for a close-quarters boss battle or to take on one of Mysterio’s challenges, meaning the only interior of any real note is Mysterio’s madcap “funhouse” that sees you venturing into a hall of mirrors and through upside-down environments. The thrill of swinging through New York is definitely palpable but I’d be lying if it doesn’t lose its appeal pretty soon; with no options for fast travel and only one real collectible on offer, there’s not really much to see beyond the digital recreation of the city or to do beyond stopping the same crimes over and over.
Enemies and Bosses: As you swing about the city in your colourful underoos, a gaggle of the dregs of society will inevitably crawl out of the woodwork to cause trouble in the streets. New York is rife with purse snatchers, bank robbers, and armed gangs who love to rob armoured cars and get into shoot-outs with the cops or hijack passing cars and you’ll get to beat the ever-loving piss out of them all multiple times. Most enemies you encounter will simply try to bash your head in, but others have crowbars and bats or can guard against your attacks, requiring you to execute a counter after dodging their attacks. The worst are those armed with guns as Spider-Man doesn’t do too well when riddled with bullets, so it’s best to either disarm them, web them up, or try to take them out early, which can be easier said than done when you’re literally surrounded by enemies on all sides. Eventually, New York will also be attacked by Mysterio’s robotic drones, which fly about the place and blast at you with lasers; these can be tricky to hit as mid-air combat is actually less refined than in the previous game in many ways, though that weird homing function comes in handy here. Herman Schutlz/The Shocker’s goons also end up terrorising the citizens as well, firing high velocity blasts to send you flying, and all of the game’s enemies except the robots can take quite a beating before they go down. You’ll also have to contend with three mech-wearing goons in one particular mission that sees Spidey and Black Cat gate-crash an auction. This mission is one of the game’s toughest, on paper, due to the sheer number of bullets, enemies, and explosions happening all around you but an easy way to get past it is to simply swing about back and forth overhead; eventually, the mechs will take each other and most of the other enemies out, leaving you to pick up the scraps.
After tangling with the Rhino, Black Cat lends a hand in two annoying battles with the Shocker.
Disappointingly, though, Spider-Man 2 only contains four actual bosses, but you’ll face some of them more than once, at least. The first one you battle is Aleksei Sytsevich/The Rhino as he’s in the middle of a bit of thievery; the Rhino is too powerful to take on head-first so you need to rapidly tap Circle to avoid his swings or dodge his charge, both of which will leave him dizzy and vulnerable to a good pummelling. Instead of fighting Black Cat, you’ll chase her across the city (so many times that it got legitimately annoying for me) to encounters with the Shocker, who you’ll battle twice alongside Black Cat. The first fight takes place inside a warehouse and sees the Shocker blasting himself about the place, constantly staying on the move and making himself a difficult and annoying target. When you do get close to him, you only have time to rattle off a quick combo before you need to get the hell away from him to avoid his huge concussive blast, which sends you flying. The Shocker’s blasts are also used to keep you at bay, he shrugs off your webbing, and is joined by some goons in this fight, which quickly becomes laborious because of the hit and run tactics. Sadly, you’re forced to repeat these in the second encounter, which takes place in an even smaller, enclosed arena where the Shocker is protected by a shield. You need to head up top, dodging his blasts when your spider sense goes off, and activate whatever console is opposite from the one Black Cat is at to lower his shield. These weird blasts of water (or energy, I couldn’t tell) form platforms in the middle of the arena, giving the Shocker the high ground, but the same strategy as before is needed to whittle his health down. Eventually, Black Cat will shut his shield down for good, meaning you’re on the home stretch, but she doesn’t really seem to actively do damage to him when she’s attacking him.
Mysterio’s “tests” prove to be frustrating test of your patience.
Easily the game’s more persistent enemy is Mysterio; when you first face him as plain old Quentin Beck, he challenges you to a series of “games” in an effort to prove Spidey’s a fraud, which involves you grabbing and tossing goons into green highlighted pits faster than him in a game of human basketball and then clambering about on elevated, moving, and twisting platforms trying not to get hit by his laser cannon. The second time, he swarms New York with his UFO-like drones and takes hostages at a theatre; this was an annoying section as you have to fend off his drones, watch out for a flaming floor, and battle a brief time limit to rescue everyone there but it’s nothing compared to when he encases the Statue of Liberty in an elaborate mechanical construction to resemble an alien attack. I was tearing my hair out at the finnicky controls as I webbed my way over the Lady Liberty and fell countless times into the water to be washed ashore and have to start all over, and near enough lost my rag when tasked with destroying the eight orbs surrounding Mysterio’s machine to expose the “brain”. Eventually, I was somehow able to gain enough height to get up there and take them all out and then get up to where the brain is before the orbs could respawn and dispel the illusion, but it was a pain in my ass, for sure. Afterwards, you track Mysterio to his apartment and hidden funhouse lair, where you have to fend off a swarm of twisted Spider-Man clones to find a hidden exit in his hall of mirrors and shut down his hologram. Finally, Mysterio shows up in the flesh later in the game to rob a deli; this was actually really amusing as the game loads in this ridiculously long and layered health bar and makes it seem like it’s going to be this long and epic showdown but all you have to do is punch him once and Mysterio folds like a paper plane.
Thanks to his thrashing limbs and raging machine, Doc Ock proves an aggravating and formidable foe.
Finally, there’s the main man himself, Dr. Octopus, who you encounter four times throughout the game. The first encounter is during the mishap with his fusion experiment and is one of the most frustrating parts of this or any other game; the reactor is going crazy, sending out intermittent energy bolts that you must dodge the second your spider sense goes off as these pulsating waves of energy that not only do massive damage (three hits is usually enough to kill you) but send you flying across the screen! Through a combination of luck, timing, and the patience of a saint, you need to dodge past all this shit and hit four consoles to power the machine down, but this almost had me rage-quitting right then and there. Next, you’ll fight Dr. Octopus and his grenade launching goons at the bank, which establishes the strategy you’ll need to best him in all encounters; you need to dodge his tentacles and then quickly fire a web to pin each one down and leave him vulnerable to attack, but this is very hard to do and he’s easily able to grab you, slam you about, toss you around, and beat you to death in just a few hits. After chasing his helicopter and rescuing Aunt May from the train tracks, you’ll battle Doc Ock on the roof of a train just like in the film…eventually, because first you need to battle the game’s controls and camera to actually get on the damn train! Here, it’s more of the same and actually a little easier than the last encounter except for the fact that Doc Ock can toss you off the train if he grabs you. Finally, it’s the worst of both worlds at his pier lair as Doc Ock relentlessly chases you, protected by a shield generated from his rampaging machine and able to spam-beat you to death in the blink of an eye if you don’t constantly keep moving, dodging, and webbing him up. You need to deactivate nine consoles scattered about the lair, with one high above and one down below near the instant-death water, all while avoiding the electrical bolts, the thankfully less damaging but no less annoying energy waves, and Doc Ock himself. Once you finally take care of that, you’ll go one-on-one with him again where you’ll need to be super fast on the dodge and webs to stop his relentless thrashing tentacles and avoid being tossed into the aforementioned water, but once you land a good few combos he finally goes down for good.
Power-Ups and Bonuses: In the spirit of the movie upon which it is based, Spider-Man has an infinite supply of webbing in Spider-Man 2 so you never need to worry about collecting extra web cartridges, though the game does lack some of the fancier web-based moves potentially as a result of this. Every time you defeat a wave of enemies in side missions, they’ll drop some health to fully restore your health bar, but these won’t be present in boss encounters, which can make them all the more frustrating. Additionally, while there are “secrets” to be found around the city, they simply grant a few more Hero Points so there’s no pick-ups to boost Spidey’s abilities. Instead, you’ll gain new buffs, tricks, combos, and such by spending Hero Points in the many shops scattered around the city; these increase the speed of your swing, add fancy moves to your jumps, and add a little more flourish to your combos but I found little use for most of them and got along pretty well just mashing Square and peppering in the odd Circle and Triangle here and there.
Additional Features: As mentioned, there are many secrets dotted around the city; these are pretty hard to find, and I only stumbled upon three or four by chance but they do allow access to a couple of new moves. There are also some races and timed challenges you can take on for more points, and which probably count towards you achieving the list of “Awards” offered by the game (though most of these are story-based). Although there are some options available to you to change the game’s display, sound, and control scheme, there are no difficulty settings here, no costumes to unlock (though you do get to play as Peter and unmasked Spidey in the story), and no additional characters or modes to unlock or play as even using cheats. The best on offer here is a code to award you a bunch of Hero Points and upgrades, making this a significant step down not just from the last game but Neversoft’s previous efforts with their many additional costumes and modes. However, after you clear the game, you’re dropped back into a free roaming mode and are free to stop crimes until the end of time across the city; you can also purchase access to the Battle Arena where you can not only battle the game’s bosses in endurance fights but also face off with a secret additional boss, Calypso Ezili/Calypso, though I’ll leave it up to you to decide if this is actually worth your time.
The Summary: All I’ve heard since 2004 is how great Spider-Man 2 is; it either tops or is included in so many “best of” lists for videogame tie-ins and superhero videogames that I knew I had to get it once I started building my PlayStation 2 library, even though I am primarily against videogame tie-ins unless I’m trying to increase my Gamer Score. The difference between this and the last game, and other Spider-Man games before it, is immediate and reinforced throughout; the sheer size of New York City and the number of crimes to stop is very impressive for the time and never before has a videogame so perfectly captured the rush of being Marvel’s famous web-slinger. The drama and crime even interrupts the story on numerous occasions, really throwing you into Spidey’s troubled shoes, and the web-swinging mechanics definitely live up to all the hype. The versatility and accessibility of swinging through the city was unparalleled at the time and perfectly recreates the speed and exhilaration of the web-slinging seen in Sam Raimi’s films. Sadly, the combat doesn’t really live up to this, being clunky and oddly unbalanced at times even when you manage to land a dodge and a counter. Naturally, character models and cutscenes haven’t aged too well, but I can forgive that; what I can’t forgive is how empty, repetitive, and frustrating parts of the game can feel. It’s great having all of New York to explore, but there’s not a lot to see and you’ll be stopping the same crimes over and over, which can get very old very quickly. I would’ve liked to see comic book covers and other collectibles scattered about to unlock costumes and concept art, but there’s none of that here, meaning there’s little incentive to explore. The few bosses there are can also be annoying; I got so sick of chasing after Black Cat, being tossed about like a ragdoll by the Shocker and Dr. Octopus’s bloody machine, and being mullered by bullets, to say nothing of that God-awful encounter with Mysterio at the Statue of Liberty. The game was also a lot shorter than I was expecting, with the gameplay padded out by the story forcing you to acquire Hero Points to load in the next chase, battle, or cutscene, and I found myself just feeling relieved when the game was over. Overall, I can certainly see why the game was so beloved at the time and is so highly regarded; it still holds up pretty well, despite some obvious flaws, and was the most immersive Spider-Man game at the time, but it’s obviously been overshadowed by better, more polished Spidey title sin the years since.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Have you ever played this beloved tie-in game? What did you think to the open-world gameplay and web-slinging mechanics back in the day? Do you think Spider-Man 2 still holds up today or were you also frustrated by some of its more tedious features? What did you think to the battles against Mysterio, the chases against Black Cat, and the encounters with the Shocker? Were you disappointed by the lack of unlockables and additional gameplay options? Which Spider-Man videogame or movie adaptation is your favourite? Head down below to share your thoughts and memories of Spider-Man2.
Released: 18 August 2023 Director: Angel Manuel Soto Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $104 million Stars: Xolo Maridueña, Bruna Marquezine, Belissa Escobedo, George Lopez, Raoul Max Trujillo, and Susan Sarandon
The Plot: College graduate Jaime Reyes (Maridueña) finds himself unwittingly bonded to an alien, beetle-like suit of armour (Becky G) and drawn into a destructive conflict with the vindictive Victoria Kord (Sarandon) and her ruthless enforcer, Ignacio Carapax (Trujillo)
The Background: Initially presented as a beat cop created by Charles Nicholas Wojtkoski, the Blue Beetle is easily one of DC Comics’ more obscure characters, despite Steve Ditko’sreimagining attaining cult status due to his time with Justice League International. It’s the third iteration, Jaime Reyes, who is easily the most recognisable incarnation of the Blue Beetle thanks to being a Latino superhero and appearances in videogames and television. Development of a live-action film focused on the character began in 2018, initially scheduled as content for HBO Max before Warner Bros. were impressed by director Angel Manuel Soto’s vision and bumped it to a cinematic release. The filmmakers were keen to emphasise Jaime’s family roots and values alongside him coming to terms with his powers as a metaphor for maturing into a young adult, with star Xolo Maridueña excited at the prospect of being DC’s first Latino superhero. The Blue Beetle armour was designed by Mayes C. Rubeo, who took inspiration from anime as much as the character’s many iterations in and out of the comic books, while various special effects groups collaborated to bring the character’s unique alien weaponry to life. Although Blue Beetle was met with mainly positive reviews that praised the performances and heart of the movie, it was met with a disappointing initial box office; as of this writing, the film has grossed over $50 million at the box office, though DC Universe head honcho James Gunn and all involved were keen to return to the character in future projects.
The Review: I’ll be honest and say that I was very surprised when I first caught wind of a live-action Blue Beetle solo movie. Considering the state of the DCEU, it seemed odd to me that they would prioritise such a film, though it’s pretty clear that it’s yet another attempt by the studio to change direction, as well as appeal to fans of troubled superheroes like Peter Parker/Spider-Man and target a new demographic in the genre, in this case the Hispanic audience. While I’m quite familiar with all iterations of the Blue Beetle, I’ve always felt a bit of a disconnect with Jaime, mainly because his iteration changed the concept so much. Still, he’s a popular figure and I can understand trying something new, and luckily Blue Beetle proved to be an enjoyable enough adventure simply by focusing on relatable themes such as family, a sense of identity and duty, and exploring xenophobic themes through Jaime and his destitute, hard-working family against the technologically advanced corporate greed of Victoria Kord and her malevolent Kord Industries. When we first meet Jaime, he’s just graduated from Gotham High (the first in his family to achieve this) and has aspirations of making his family prouder by landing a job worthy of his degree, only to find himself forced to scrub gum off Victoria’s decking alongside his snarky little sister, Milagro (Escobedo). I can immediately relate to the frustration he feels about this; there’s nothing worse than spending years at university (getting yourself into debt, in Jaime’s case) only to find having a degree doesn’t open the doors you’d expect, and Jaime suffers even more as Victoria basically treats all her staff, especially the lower classes like the Reyes’, as glorified servants.
The heart-warming and relatable relationship between Jaime and his family is the heart of the film.
Jaime is devastated to learn that his family will be forced to leave their home since Kord Industries tripled the rent; after his beloved father, Alberto (Damián Alcázar), suffered a mild heart attack and was forced to sell the family garage, they’ve barely been able to scrape by, though the Reyes’ remain resolute because they are such a tight-knit and loving family unit. Jaime’s mother, Rocio (Elpidia Carrillo), remains steadfast that they can whether any storm, his surprisingly capable and bad-ass Nana (Adriana Barraza) demonstrates a fighting spirit and chequered background that contrasts with her frail form, while his rebellious, anti-authoritarian uncle, Rudy (Lopez), riles his family up with his crackpot theories and wacky inventions. Still, they are a supportive and loving group; Jaime might be embarrassed by their outspoken love for him, but he’s absolutely devoted to them and desperate to help out with their financial situation. This sense of loyalty and responsibility sees him intervene when he spots Victoria and Carapax giving Jenny Kord (Marquezine) a hard time, which results in him and Milagro getting fired but also opens an opportunity for Jaime to secure a better job at Kord Industries courtesy of a grateful Jenny. Although his family wind him up over his obvious attraction to the young Kord, Jaime is primarily motivated to take a chance on this offer out of a deep-rooted desire to put himself to work for the good of his family, and ends up biting off more than he can chew when a desperate Jenny hands him a mysterious scarab, an alien device once studied by her father and long coveted by Victoria, who moves Heaven and Earth to acquire it to upgrade her company’s destructive One Man Army Corps (O.M.A.C.) technology.
The scarab bestows Jaime with potentially unlimited power and opens up an unexplored corner of the DCEU.
Upon inspecting this artifact, Jaime and his family are shocked and horrified when it suddenly springs to life and grafts itself to his spine, painfully growing a techno-organic armour right through his skin and encasing him in an honestly really well-realised rendition of the Blue Beetle suit in scene reminiscent of The Guyver (George and Wang, 1991). Unlike in his initial comic run, the armour (which identifies itself as Khaji-Da) communicates directly to him, though he remains mostly incapable of controlling the symbiotic suit and much of his character arc is learning not to fear or rid himself of the armour, but to embrace his newfound destiny. Described as a world-destroying weapon, the armour renders Jaime effectively bulletproof and resistant to serious injury, healing any wounds he receives and conjuring fantastical weapons based purely on his imagination and willpower. Initially, Jaime is terrified at the prospect of the symbiote imbuing itself into his nerves and brain and is entirely dependent on Khaji-Da to take over when in a combat situation, with his only influence being his desperate pleas not to use lethal force (a sentiment his family, curiously and hilariously, do not share). With his family fearing for his safety and Jaime out of his mind with panic, they’re forced to turn to Jenny for answers; she reveals that her father, Ted Kord, once studied the scarab alongside its former host, Dan Garrett, with both of them fighting crime in the past as the Blue Beetle. Although she’s unable to offer a reasonable solution to Jaime’s predicament, her assistance allows Jaime, Milagro, and Rudy to explore Ted’s long-abandoned lab and retro technology and put Jaime on the path to discovering his true calling as a superhero.
While Carapax showcases some surprising depth, both he and Victoria ham it up a bit too much.
Malicious and ruthless after being spurred by her father in favour of her brother, Victoria has reshaped Kord Industries into a weapons manufacturer and become obsessed with acquiring the scarab to take her O.M.A.C.’s to the next level. Although I applaud the filmmakers in securing Susan Sarandon for this role, it can’t be denied that she’s absolutely hamming it up to the point of being a pantomime villain, overdelivering many of her lines and exuding a one-dimensional, xenophobic hatred towards anyone she sees as lesser than her. The only person she shows a modicum of respect and admiration for is her right-hand man, Carapax, the most capable and ruthless of her soldiers; a half-human cyborg empowered by the existing O.M.A.C technology, Carapax is absolutely loyal to Victoria’s bidding and takes a sadistic pleasure in hunting down Jaime to apprehend him for her experiments. Although a largely stoic and grim juggernaut of a henchman, Carapax is secretly hiding a pain of his own, one that he has largely forgotten due to the emotional and physical trauma of being transformed into a cyborg; his family were murdered before his eyes by Victoria’s weapons, and she herself oversaw his transformation simply out of a cruel desire to test her technology on a live (and suitable) subject. Bolstered by uncannily futuristic technology and her own private army, Victoria stops at nothing, even targeting her own niece, to get what she wants; her desire to get her hands on Jaime is so great that she leads an attack on the Reyes household and indirectly causes Alberto to suffer a fatal heart attack. This, however, has the knock-on effect of galvanising the Reyes’ into using Ted’s weaponry to storm Kord Industries and rescue Jaime, proving that Carapax was incorrect when he dismissed Jaime’s love for his family as a weakness. As interesting as Carapax is, these developments don’t come until the film’s finale and he loses much of his appeal whenever his bulky armour obscures his face and form, ultimately making him as over the top as Sarandon’s performance.
The Nitty-Gritty: Although themes of family are prevalent in many superhero films, they’re at the forefront in Blue Beetle and represented in different ways by each character. Obviously, the most prominent representation of traditional family values are the Reyes’, a hard-working immigrant family who weathered terrible adversity to establish a home in the United States and value each other more than material possessions. These aspects are explored through Jaime’s interactions with Alberto, in which he expresses no regrets at having to work every job he could get and all the hours of the day to get his family to America, and later guides Jaime towards embracing Khaji-Da and ending the conflict within him as his final gift to his son. Jenny is absolutely aghast at how her aunt has perverted her father’s company into a greedy, ruthless powerhouse that lords itself over everyone and treats its employees as expendable pawns. Heartbroken at the disappearance and presumed death of her father, Jenny has actively been trying to do good in his name against her aunt’s wishes and sees liberating the scarab from Victora’s clutches as the ultimate insult. Victoria’s entire motivation for being such a cartoonishly cold-hearted villain is based on the bitterness she felt towards her father, who bequeathed Kord Industries to Ted over her despite her being instrumental in establishing the company. Finally, though Carapax sneers at Jaime’s emotional ties to his family, the scarred brute is fuelled by the trauma he endured at seeing his family violently killed; he carries their locket on his person and is later inspired to end himself and Victoria after remembering that his poisonous employer was responsible for his pain and suffering.
While the suit and effects are a lot of fun, it’s the familial aspects that hold this film together.
I praised the Blue Beetle suit earlier and it really does look great here; a mixture of practical and CGI effects, the armour is extremely versatile, conjuring bug-like wings, concussive blasts, and even a fully-functional Buster Sword to easily best swarms of heavily-armed goons. Indeed, the Blue Beetle is almost too powerful here, proving resistant to all harm and unstoppable once Jaime and Khaji-Da are united; the only one capable of consistently offering a challenge to the Blue Beetle is Carapax, whose weapons-grade O.M.A.C. armour is more than up to the task of matching the panic-stricken teen blow for blow. While the Blue Beetle armour is strikingly faithful to its comic book counterpart (almost to a fault with its strangely cartoonish face), the O.MA.C. armour is heavily altered to more resemble Carapax’s comic book counterpart, and appears more akin to something seen in the Iron Man movies (Various, 2008 to 2013). Still, the action and fight scenes involving both were exhilarating and fun, especially when Khaji-Da took control and turned Jaime into a cartwheeling, sword-wielding engine of destruction. The Blue Beetle’s flight scenes were also a lot of fun, as was exploring Ted’s underground lair, his retro-tech (including comic-accurate renditions of the Dan Garrett and Ted Kord Blue Beetle suits), and the Reyes’ commandeering Ted’s old school weapons and ridiculous bug ship to go rescue Jaime. While the bug ship looks a little cartoony at times, it was fun seeing Rudy stomp about, impaling Victoria’s guards and unleashing Ted’s unique weaponry on her forces, as was seeing Milagro and even Nana take up arms to help Jaime out in the name of love and family. Yet, easily the film’s most poignant scene is a metaphysical interaction between Jaime and his father’s spirit in a limbo between life and death; here, Alberto encourages his son to embrace his destiny, finally allowing true symbiosis between him and Khaji-Da, a revelation sadly somewhat muted when Jaime has to wait for the suit to reboot after escaping Victoria’s energy-sucking device (though this is a great excuse for the gun-toting Nana to shine).
Jaime’s family ultimately proves his greatest strength in overcoming Carapax.
Desperate to retrieve the scarab after learning Jenny swiped it, Victoria leads her troops and Carapax to the Reyes’, mercilessly threatening them and even causing Alberto’s death in a bid to draw out and capture Jaime. This proves a success and Jaime is hooked up to an elaborate machine that forcibly downloads the scarab’s code to empower the O.M.A.C. armour, but luckily Alberto’s spirit and Jaime’s family help to rescue him and scupper Victoria’s entire operation. Jenny even earns a modicum of catharsis when she tackles Victoria out of her helicopter and smashes the scarab data which, in conjunction with blowing up the O.M.A.C. lab, leaves Victoria desperate to avenge herself, only to find that Carapax has suffered a change of heart when Jaime inexplicably shows him mercy and they come to an understanding. This comes after a lengthy and brutal battle between the two armoured warriors in which the continually bust out bigger and better weapons to try and beat the other; Carapax uses every trick in the book, including taunting Jaime over his perceived weaknesses and seemingly killing Rudy, to gain the upper hand on his young foe, who is pushed to the brink by the onslaught. Despite having spent the whole film admonishing Khaji-Da for favouring lethal force, Jaime is fully preparing to execute the defenceless Carapax but spares his life after being shown his traumatic memories, finally reaching an understanding with Khaji-Da and leaving the grief-stricken brute to avenge his losses against Victoria. In the aftermath, Jenny assumes control over Kord Industries and immediately sets about discontinuing their weapons production; she vows to rebuild the Reyes’ house and give back to the community, rather than steamrolling over it, and shares a passionate kiss with Jaime (though, to be honest, I wasn’t convinced that she was as into him as he was her, so maybe they should’ve stayed plutonic friends, at least until the sequel). Speaking of which, the seeds of further intrigue are planted not just from the opening credits, where an errant Green Lantern beam causes the scarab to fall to Earth, but when Ted Kord (Unknown) desperately tries to contact someone for aid…
The Summary: I was honestly sceptical going into Blue Beetle; it’s such an obscure character and an odd decision to go in, especially now with the DCEU in such a confusing flux, but the film actually held up really well, despite a few hiccups. The effects and suit action were really impressive, with a strong anime influence and drawing from some familiar superhero cliches but presenting them in a visually engaging new way, such as Jaime panicking and pleading with the suit and apologising to those around him since he’s not in control of himself when Khaji-Da takes over. Jaime himself and his family were very enjoyable characters; I liked their banter, their relatability and humanity, and the heart that held them together even in the toughest of times. While I wasn’t entirely convinced of the romance between Jaime and Jenny (mainly because I would’ve liked to see more of her showing an equal interest in him, rather than it being largely one-sided), the relationship between him and his sister, father, and uncle kept the family drama elements interesting for me. Unfortunately, Susan Sarandon is hamming it up a bit too much for me; she seems to be channelling the pantomime-like villainy that once dogged the genre and which I thought we’d moved on from. Carapax is far more compelling, but is largely just a surly brute of a man until some last-second revelations and is again simply a dark mirror of the hero, clichés that I can’t help but point out as flaws even if the film mostly kept its head above water. Overall, this was a fun introduction to a fresh, young superhero and I’d like to see more from these characters going forward, with perhaps some more visually and thematically interesting villains being introduced to place more emphasis on the positives at work here.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Did you enjoy Blue Beetle? Were you surprised to see the character brought to life on the big screen or did you enjoy seeing a fresh new ethnically diverse superhero take the spotlight? What did you think to the relationship between Jaime and his family? Did you enjoy the look and powers of the suit? What did you think to the more cartoonish presentation of the villains? Would you like to see more from these characters, and which obscure DC hero would you like to see get their own film? Whatever you thought about Blue Bettle, drop a comment below or on my social media and be sure to check out my other Blue Beetle content on the site.
Story Title: “Go Ahead…Mecha My Day!” Published: August 1995 Writer: Mike Gallagher Artist: Patrick Spaziante
The Background: SEGA were quick to capitalise on Sonic’s popularity once he catapulted to mainstream success and helped them to usurp Nintendo’s position at the top of the videogame industry. Following Nintendo’s success with DiC, SEGA licensed a series of cartoons that were soon accompanied by a four-part miniseries published by Archie Comics. Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog comics went on to become the longest-running videogame comic book ever and, amidst continuing the adventures of the Knothole Freedom Fighters, the Archie comics weaved in storylines, characters, and elements from the videogames, often changing them to fit their unique narrative. Although a mechanical version of Sonic had featured in Archie’s comics prior to this story (and many more would follow over the years), Sonic’s most recognisablerobotic duplicate debuted in the comic’s twenty-fifth issue as part of a loose adaptation of Sonic CD and would go on to continuously plague the hedgehog and his allies even when IDW swept away Archie’s continuity in favour of their own.
The Review: I didn’t grow up reading Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog comics; as far as I know, there was no way for us to get hold of them here in the United Kingdom back in the day, so I’m not entirely sure I was even aware of them until late into my teens. I did watch Sonic the Hedgehog/SatAM (1993 to 1994) though and, like many kids from my generation I was, deeply invested in the series and frustrated when it ended on an unresolved cliff-hanger. Although the Archie comics never actually resolved this cliff-hanger and were more like a spin-off than a true continuation, they were the closest thing we’d ever get to an official follow-up to that successful cartoon and, in the years since, I’ve read through the entire Archie Comics run. It has its good points and many bad points, but I found myself enjoying it well enough, especially once they started to incorporate more elements from the source material and veer away from the comedic slapstick that muddled the narrative tone of the first fifty-or-so issues. I’ve already explored how awkward the incorporation of these videogame elements was to the series; the same was true of the UK’s Sonic the Comic (1993 to 2002) and is to be expected when you’ve gone off on your own pretty complex tangent and then have to shoe-horn in official canon into the narrative, but there’s an appeal to the series nonetheless thanks to nostalgia and my love for Sonic.
While Sonic tests Rotor’s new device, Dr. Robotnik plans to lure him into a deadly trap.
“Go Ahead…Mecha My Day!” (great pun, by the way) begins with Sonic impatiently enduring the hooking up of a video camera to his sneaker; developed by Knothole’s resident mechanic and tinkerer, Rotor the Walrus, the “Sonicam” sends a direct feed back to the Freedom Fighter’s computer so they can keep track of where Sonic is and any potential dangers they need to be aware of. Princess Sally Acorn, leader of the Knothole Freedom Fighters, is particularly pleased with this new technology given that a “new Zone portal” just opened up and is in need of exploration. Sally’s fears about this situation are well founded as it turns out that the Collision Chaos Zone is the creation of Mobius’s mad cybernetic dictator, Doctor Robotnik. However, while he looks like the SatAM Dr. Robotnik, at this point Archie’s version still has quite a bit of his bombastic and foolish variant from the Adventures of the Sonic the Hedgehogcartoon (1993); this means he breaks the fourth wall, chuckles maniacally to his bumbling Badniks, and lacks the grim menace of the SatAM version. However, there’s enough of that interpretation of the character in Dr. Robotnik to order his latest, most mysterious creation to kidnap Sonic’s number one fan, Amy Rose, and then issue a direct challenge to Sonic, daring him to test his speed and skill in his Collision Chaos Zone to rescue Amy. Naturally, Dr. Robotnik plans to stack the deck against Sonic by having his long-suffering, snivelling nephew and head minion, Snivley, struggle into an elaborate Robotnik costume and burn up the road behind Sonic to force him into an even deadlier trap.
Racing to save his friends, Sonic is confronted and challenged by his metallic doppelgänger.
Naturally, Sonic wants to leap into action right away; determined to prove himself and to rescue one of his greatest fans, he thinks nothing of jumping head-first into such an obvious trap, such is his confidence. However, Knothole is a democracy and, as a result, he’s forced to heed to Sally’s more level-headed orders; to get a better sense of what dangers lie ahead, Sally has Miles “Tails” Prower fly on ahead to scope out the area…and he’s immediately captured by Dr. Robotnik’s Swatbots. Fed up with waiting, Sonic races out to the Zone portal and, despite Dr. Robotnik struggling with his lines, is brought abreast of the escalating hostage situation; thanks to the Sonicam’s slow-motion function, Sally and Rotor are able to look in as Sonic races through the bizarre environment while Snively incinerates the path behind him, all to force Sonic into a confrontation with Mecha-Sonic (also referred to without the hyphen). Oddly, Mecha-Sonic’s dialogue seems to indicate that the two have met before, but this was the character’s first appearance; however, it wasn’t uncommon for the videogame’s events to happen off-panel and between stories throughout Archie’s run, even though that doesn’t really align with the narrative presented here, making this allusion confusing, at best. Anyway, Mecha-Sonic challenges his rival to prove his speed in a race through the Stardust Speedway Zone, with Tails and Amy as the prize and Snively pursuing them in Dr. Robotnik’s craft
Sonic’s speed is too much for Mecha-Sonic and Dr. Robotnik’s plot is easily foiled.
Of course, Sonic takes the bait and “engages” with Mecha-Sonic, much to Dr. Robotnik’s glee; while Amy wails at the engagement pun and Rotor scrambles to account for interference from the Stardust Speedway Zone, we’re treated to a nice two-page spread of the two rivals exchanging taunts and shoving past each other in a pretty neck-and-neck dash through the Zone, which is brought to life by the unrivalled Patrick “Spaz” Spaziante and is certainly faithful both to the level layout from the videogame and the anime sequences that accompanied it. However, Sonic has no idea that Dr. Robotnik has set up a failsafe at the finish line; a massive weighted door that will crush Sonic when he passes under it (which Dr. Robotnik demonstrates by crushing Crabmeat, though this doesn’t kill the woodland critter tapped within him since that wasn’t really a thing in this continuity). Although Sonic gains the lead, Mecha-Sonic uses holograms and environmental hazards to distract and trip him for an unfair advantage, meaning tensions are high as they race down the final stretch. Here, Sonic debuts his new “Figure Eight Super Peel-Out” for a burst of acceleration that pushes him into “warp speed” and Mecha-Sonic summarily melts itself in half by overexerting its thrusters. Sonic is even spared a gruesome end thanks to the timely intervention of Princess Sally but, when Dr. Robotnik throws a tantrum over the loss, volunteers to give the dictator a chance to squash him. When Sonic easily dodges out of the of the trap, he invites Dr. Robotnik to inspect the mechanism for faults and then encourages the reader (represented by a literal on-panel finger) to activate the trap and crush the cyborg madman beneath it. The comic the ends with Tails and Amy free, Dr. Robotnik squashed under his own trap, Mecha-Sonic left sparking on the racetrack, and the heroes celebrating the comic’s first twenty-five issues.
The Summary: I went to great pains at the start of my review to try and prepare you for the fact that Archie’s Sonic comics weren’t exactly known for their 100% fidelity to the source material when they started adapting more elements from the videogames into their plot but, even considering that, “Go Ahead…Mecha My Day!” is even less of a Sonic CD adaptation than its Sonic the Comic counterpart. Both plucked only the most iconic elements of the videogame (Amy, Metal Sonic, and parts of the environments) and shoe-horned them into their unique narrative, choosing to focus more on the battle between Sonic and Metal Sonic than the time travel plot. While the Sonic the Comic adaptation benefitted slightly from being a multi-part story told over a few issues, both adaptations have about the same level of substance thanks to the first two parts of the story simply setting up for Sonic’s adventures on the Miracle Planet. This location doesn’t even appear here, however; instead, we get two of Sonic CD’s more recognisable areas (Collision Chaos and Stardust Speedway) but they’re presented as being “creations” of Dr. Robotnik, existing in another dimension, of sorts, rather than being on the Little Planet. The Time Stones are also completely absent, as are any elements of time travel or Dr. Robotnik’s plot to conquer the Little Planet, meaning the plot is all about the race between Sonic and “Mecha-Sonic” to rescue Amy (and Tails).
It’s a bit slapstick and barely has anything to do with Sonic CD but at least the art is nice.
Even when you get past the fact this this isn’t really an adaptation of Sonic CD, “Go Ahead…Mecha My Day!” is a bit weak overall; the story’s far too short, Dr. Robotnik lacks the menace of his SatAM counterpart, and there’s never really a sense of danger even when Mecha-Sonic makes its appearance. Like in the Sonic the Comic version, Mecha-Sonic can talk; here, it seems to have been programmed to ape Sonic’s snarky attitude as much as his speed as the two trade quips and grandeur during their confrontation. Though it demonstrates none of its videogame’s other powers, Mecha-Sonic is shown to be a wily antagonist and fully prepared to cheat to gain an advantage, but it’s ultimately handicapped by its mechanical construction and thus falls apart when it tries to match Sonic’s near-limitless speed. Still, the art used to render Mecha-Sonic and the race is impressive; Spaz was always Archie’s best artist when it came to Sonic and he does a great job on the title character, his robotic rival, and Dr. Robotnik. Given that it takes place in this quasi-SatAM continuity, the story also features appearances from the Knothole Freedom Fighters; Tails wasn’t yet the genius mechanic we know him today so Rotor fulfils that role and his Sonicam keeps them up to date with Sonic’s situation while Antoine D’Coolette is simply there to spout nonsense and oppose Sonic out of spite. Since she was always portrayed as Sonic’s equal in the field, it’s obviously Sally who drops in to lend a hand in the finale, emphasising the camaraderie that was so important to this interpretation of Sonic, though it’s made explicitly clear that he didn’t actually need any help. In the end, this was a decent enough story with lots of great art and fun, engaging action but it’s let down by its brevity, the awkward goofiness permeating throughout it, and the fact that it basically has nothing to do with Sonic CD beyond some extremely basic elements.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Have you ever read “Go Ahead…Mecha My Day!”, or any of Archie’s Sonic the Hedgehog comics? If so, what did you think of the story and the way its focus on the race between Sonic and Metal Sonic? Were you disappointed by the lack of any other elements from Sonic CD? Which of Archie’s original characters was your favourite and what did you think to their award-winning run? How are you celebrating Sonic CD’s anniversary this year? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic CD, or Sonic in general, feel free to leave a comment below.
Released: 9 September 2004 Developer: Paradigm Entertainment Also Available For: GameCube and Xbox
The Background: Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Terminator franchise (Various, 1984 to 2019) has a long history with videogame adaptations; every film in the franchise has been adapted to at least one videogame over the years and the series even crossed over with RoboCop(Verhoeven, 1987) back in the day. Since producers and movie studios bent over backwards to get a third film made (and since big-budget movies usually always had a videogame tie-in at the time), it’s perhaps also not much of a surprise that Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines(Mostow, 2003) was accompanied by not one, but three videogame adaptations courtesy of Atari. Paradigm Entertainment developed Terminator 3: The Redemption at the same time as Black Ops Entertainment was working on Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines(ibid, 2003) and used photographs of the film sets to help create their game world. Even after Terminator 3 failed to impress, Atari pushed forward with The Redemption and even gave Paradigm more time to work on the game, which the developers aimed to make as fast-paced and action-packed as they could to differentiate it from its counterparts. Judging from the reviews, this appears to have paid off as critics found the game an overall improvement over its predecessor; however, while reviews praised the game’s action-packed content and graphical appeal, its difficulty and linearity were criticised, and the general consensus was that the game was far more appealing as a rental rather than a purchase.
The Plot: In the year 2032, humanity has been pushed to the brink of extinction in a war against the malevolent artificial intelligence known as Skynet. After John Connor, the leader of the human Resistance, is killed by a T-850, the Terminator is reprogrammed and sent back in time to protect John’s younger self from an all-new Terminator, the T-X/Terminatrix
Gameplay: Unlike its predecessor, Terminator 3: The Redemption is a third-person action shooter with a focus on combat, both gun and melee, and chasing and driving sequences. Straight away, the contrast between the two games is thus evident; whereas Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines was a middle of the road first-person shooter that was top-heavy with its content, The Redemption has a far more balanced pace to its narrative and gameplay structure, though it still falls into the same traps of repeating gameplay loops over and over. Once again, you’re placed into the role of the reprogrammed T-850 from the film the game is based on and tasked with clearing a number of missions across four chapters, though this time you’re afforded unlimited ammunition by default and there’s no division between the shooting and melee sections. The game’s controls can be configured to your liking and this aspect is nicely weaved into the story; by default, the Terminator can take command of turrets and cannons or leap to other vehicles with Triangle (oddly labelled “acquire”), activate its trademark red-hued vision to identify allies and other targets for a limited time with Circle, grab enemies or put the brakes on its current vehicle with Square, and unleash a limited number of combos with X. Different combinations of X and Square will see you pull off various grabs, punches, and slams to the T-900s that cross your path. While I rarely found myself relying on the hand-to-hand combat, it’s a quick way to take out enemies compared to just blasting them and you’ll be using X to shoot, toss, and kick Terminators off your vehicle or into your line of fire when you’re at a turret. The Terminator can fire its current weapon with R1 and reload with R2 (though I found no practical use for this), L1 fires an alternate shot (usually allowing you to dual-wield or fire a charged plasma shot or missile), and, in an inexplicably confusing addition, L2 allows you to control the quips and one-liners the Terminator’s says by functioning as a dedicated “speak” button. Finally, the Select button switches between camera angles, pressing in the right stick allows you to switch targets, and you won’t need to worry about pressing a button to accelerate when in a vehicle as you simply use the left stick to move about.
Run around blasting Skynet’s forces or give chase on a variety of vehicles in this action-heavy title.
Terminator 3: The Redemption also includes a very rudimentary upgrade system; by destroying enemies and clearing missions, you’re awarded Terabytes (TB), and you’ll receive more TB for clearing missions quickly, something you can track with the game’s heads-up display (HUD). TB allows you to upgrade the Terminator’s recharge time (though I’m not sure what that means…) and the length, damage, and charge of its thermal vision, none of which I found to be particularly useful; TB also unlocks bonuses in the game’s ‘Extras’ menu. By pausing the game, you can review the Terminator’s combos, trade TB for other upgrades, and review your mission objectives, which are provided before the start of each chapter. Within the first few missions, though, you’ll have experienced everything The Redemption has to offer: typically, you’re tasked with following a linear path, gunning down the same mechanical enemies in waves either with your weapons, combos, or turrets. Then, you’ll either jump onto the back of a jeep or a Future Killer/FK Tank and chase down some kind of target, blasting at its engines and other enemies and “acquiring” replacement vehicles when your health is running low. Sometimes, these sections see the vehicle racing towards the screen and you blasting at pursuing enemies and switching lanes with the left stick but, generally, you’re bombing along through wrecked highways and streets. Next, you’ll be prompted to jump to a circling helicopter and blasting at targets with a mini gun or rocket launcher in a kind of auto/rail shooter section, and maybe you’ll be tasked with chasing down the T-X in a ridiculously outclassed vehicle with no indication of how far away it is except for an ever-decreasing reticule and a countdown showing you how close you are to imminent failure. These latter sections are by far the worst parts of the game; the T-X rockets away in a supped-up sports car, leaving you to dodge hazards and pursing police cars, taking shortcuts through dirt roads, fling over trains, and through power plants and scrapyards in a desperate bid to catch up only to be met with failure again and again because you snagged a part of the environment or couldn’t tell where you needed to go. Failure in a mission means restarted all over again from the beginning; there are no checkpoints here and the only way to replenish the Terminator’s health is to find “charge points”, which basically goes against my ingrained gaming experience that tells me to stay away from raging blasts of electrical current.
Some missions are needlessly frustrating and include an aggravating difficulty curve.
I opened this review by saying the game’s pace is improved over its predecessor and that is technically true; some missions are shorter or longer than others but it’s nowhere near as unbalanced as in the last game, but it’s still not great to experience. Often, your objectives are somewhat vague and it’s not clear that you are racing against a time limit or have a limited window of success; you’ll be racing along, taking ramps and desperately trying to stay on higher paths on your slippery FK Tank blasting at a Skynet carrier and then suddenly be met with a mission failure screen because it got “out of range”. Similarly, when John Connor and Kate Brewster drive a plane through aircraft hangers and runways trying to get to Crystal Peak, you need to fend off the T1 tanks and proto-FK drones (and, bizarrely, T-600s) attacking their craft and it can get very chaotic very quickly if you don’t keep an eye on the plane’s health bar. There are two missions where you’re racing around a cemetery in a hearse; one sees you driving around in a circuit shooting the T-X away when it attacks and trying to ram into a Special Weapons and Tactics (S.W.A.T.) van, which you do by taking alternate paths on the circuit. The other mission sees you driving along the freeway as the T-X drops onto the wrecked hearse; you need to shoot it with X and then use the brake, power slide (also Square), and environment to shake it off until the mission just ends. There’s also a couple of missions where you’re flying along on a hijacked FK Hover, frantically dodging pipes, pistons, and fans and shooting at bombs and other targets; you won’t know not to venture down the wrong path until you make a split-second decision to take a lower path only to be met with immediate failure as your temperature gets too high. Overall, the game is far more action-packed than its predecessor, with a lot more variety crammed into its gameplay, but it relies far too much on repeating the same gameplay loops and the difficulty of some missions is absolutely unforgiving; this may explain why The Redemption lacks the traditional difficulty settings as the game is already pretty tough to get through at times.
Graphics and Sound: Initially, I was again surprised by how good Terminator 3: The Redemption looks; since it retells the events prior to and during the film in its own way, it again relies on CG cutscenes to relay its story and, for the most part, these look pretty good. The game rarely uses the janky, marionette-like in-game graphics for cutscenes, which is good, and the CG scenes often recreate, recontextualise, or bleed into scenes from the movie, with The Redemption being much smarter about which movie clips it uses and when (it even includes the film’s actual ending this time), though again it does use these to skip over large parts of the story in different ways. For example we see a truncated version of the Terminator’s rescue of John and Kate at the vets, their visit to the cemetery, and Skynet’s rampage through Cyber Research Systems (CRS) but we don’t get to play these moments; instead, we’re dropped in after they’ve occurred, which is fine as the focus is generally on action-oriented gameplay but it again smacks of a rushed production as the game skips over plot points that were pivotal to the movie’s story. Additionally, The Redemption suffers a bit in the music and sound department; the iconic Terminator theme is largely absent, though the game makes a big show of including George Thorogood and the Destroyers’ “Bad to the Bone”, playing not just in the scene where the Terminator takes the stripper’s clothes but also over the end credits. While Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, and Kristanna Loken all provide what can generously be called their likenesses (the CG cutscenes do not do them justice at all), none of them return to voice their characters, with the Terminator’s Arnold soundalike sound particularly awful.
The game looks pretty good and does a better job of recreating, and deviating, from the film than its predecessor.
Otherwise, the in-game graphics are pretty good; once again, the highlights are the Future War sections, which are probably the best seen in the series at that point. You’ll battle and race through destroyed streets, airports, and buildings, passing the remains of the Hollywood sign, wrecked skyscrapers, and war-torn streets as dark (and, at one point, red) clouds loom ominously overheard lit up by lightning flashes. This is starkly contrasted by the mechanical precision of Skynet’s bases, such as the Time Displacement Chamber, which is now a heavily fortified complex full of tunnels, reactors, and sprawling corridors. Once the Terminator is sent back through time, you’ll spend a bit of time racing through the desert highways outside San Francisco, recreate the Terminator’s chase to and away from the T-X’s crane truck through the bustling city streets, battle through the airport to get John and Kate to safety, and again make your final stand at the Crystal Peak outpost. Similar to how the last game included a flashback to the Future War in the middle of the movie’s events, The Redemption briefly derails its story by having the T-X send the Terminator to an alternate future using a particle accelerator; in this even bleaker, more nightmarish timeline, John and Kate are dead and the Terminator must make its way back to the past by commandeering a gigantic FK Titan, rolling over T-900s and blasting towers and buildings with its cannons, before bringing down an equally huge aircraft carrier amidst the tumultuous skies. Sadly, as detailed and impressive as many of the game’s environments are, I did notice a fair amount of graphical pop-up and, of course, you have to deal with the PlayStation 2’s noticeable load times.
Enemies and Bosses: As ever, you’ll be battling against the marauding forces of Skynet for the majority of The Redemption. T-900 endoskeletons, now redesigned into something a little more familiar to the classic Terminator design, litter the post-apocalyptic wasteland of the future; not only do they fire the iconic phase plasma rifles, but they can also crawl along the floor to grab at your feet after being separated from their torsos, though they’re noticeably much easier to destroy than in the last game. FK Hovers and FK Tanks also crop up, blasting at you incessantly, though you can commandeer the latter and make liberal use of turrets for the former, which is usually essential when Skynet’s forces attack in waves. When you travel to the past, you’ll have to contend with police cars and S.W.A.T. offers chasing and shooting at you, but these are brief distractions that only pop up in a couple of missions; as in the film, the Terminator is forbidden to kill these people but, unlike in the last game, it seems The Redemption is content to throw up a notification that you’ve not taken a human life rather than end your mission if you’ve been too trigger happy. CRS’s proto-Terminator machines also become an obstacle, with drones and those awesome T1 Tanks attacking you and your allies, and you’ll also need to fend off and destroy the vehicles that the T-X sends your way using its nanotechnology.
While the game shines in big, action-packed sequences, the T-X encounters are finnicky and unfulfilling.
As in the last game, however, boss battles are so few and far between in The Redemption that they may as well not even be a thing. Typically, you’ll need to chase after and destroy or disable a large target, be it a Skynet control module, an FK Bomber, or attacking the engines of a massive FK Carrier. Tougher machines more akin to the aerial Hunter Killers (HKs) also pop up here and there, requiring you to target their engines to bring them down, and larger mechs sporting plasma cannons and flamethrowers await on the FK Carrier but these are treated more like harder enemies rather than boss battles. There is a point where you need to take on an indestructible FK Guardian to return to the past, though you’re simply stomping around on your own Guardian and firing proximity beams at the machines to accomplish this. Your most persistent foe is, of course, the T-X, who you encounter multiple times but only face in a one-on-one situation in the finale. The first encounter sees you frantically taking every shortcut possible to try and intercept the T-X before it reaches John and Kate; then you’re fending off its nano-controlled vehicles to blow out the tyres on its crane truck, before desperately trying to blast it and the crane’s controls as it pursues you, which is an extremely finnicky mission. The T-X attacks Kate when she’s in a S.W.A.T. van and repeatedly jumps to your wrecked hearse during the cemetery missions but it’s easily fended off with a few shots and trips into a wall, before it attacks using a Harrier jet as John and Kate are escaping CRS. Here, it fires plasma blasts and a barrage of missiles but it’s not too taxing to shoot these out of the sky and blast away until it’s sent crashing out of the sky. Finally, the T-X endoskeleton and the battle-damaged T-850 square off at Crystal Peak; this time, though, the T-X is completely indestructible and your goal is to destroy the jeeps, helicopters, and tank guns it commands to attack John and Kate as they open blast doors. You can shoot the door panels to slow it down but, if it gets too close to them, it’ll fry them alive and any vehicles you don’t destroy will slow down their progress so you can’t make too many mistakes. Even if you succeed, you then need to blast at the guns it takes over to slow it down so you can slowly hobble over to it and finish it off in a cutscene, which can also be difficult as your only direction is “Acquire T-X”, which could literally mean anything.
Power-Ups and Bonuses: Terminator 3: The Redemption is one of the strangest third-person games I’ve ever played. Your weapons have unlimited ammunition, so you never need to pick up ammo or ammo crates, and the only way you can heal is to find electrical charge points, so there are no fuel cells or health kits. Defeated enemies thus don’t drop anything and only award TB, but this also means that you can’t acquire or switch weapons as you play. Instead, the Terminator is given specific weapons for each mission, generally a phase plasma rifle in the Future War and a shotgun or machine gun in the past, though you also get to use a grenade launcher and chain gun. You can “acquire” vehicles and turrets, however, which sport more entertaining weaponry; TK Tanks haver laser cannons that also unleash an energy pulse, the more powerful (but also slipperier) TK Vipers have even more explosive armaments, and you can make liberal use of the gigantic cannons and turrets on the TK Carrier, TK Titan, and TK Bomber to absolutely demolish both enemies and the environment, which is where the game is at its most fun.
Additional Features: As mentioned, playing through the story and acquiring TB will automatically unlock bonuses in the ‘Extras’ menu; these range from a few movie clips and pieces of concept art to a slow-mode, a useless instant death option and the absolutely game-breaking “deathstare” that destroys anything you target. You can also input some button codes while viewing the credits to unlock all of the game’s missions and chapters, grant yourself invincibility, and give yourself all upgrades; there’s no indication that these codes have worked, however, until you return to the main menu or load up a game and, while invincibility is helpful in the game’s tougher sections, it’s not going to help you if you’re too slow to chase down or destroy your targets. Strangely, The Redemption also includes a co-operative mode that changes the game into a two-player rail shooter, which is probably more fun than the standard gameplay to be honest. Otherwise, there’s nothing else on offer here; you can replay any mission from the main menu to earn extra points to unlock everything, but there are no other difficulty modes, there isn’t much to unlock, and the game can get so repetitive that it’s not really worth playing through again.
The Summary: The difference between Terminator 3: The Redemption and Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is like night and day; it’s clear that the game’s title has a double meaning, referring not just to the reprogrammed cyborg but also Atari’s attempts to make up for their last game and the developers definitely put a lot more effort into The Redemption’s gameplay and variety. I really appreciated the fast-paced, action-packed moments of The Redemption; the Terminator feels like an unstoppable force as it mows down Skynet’s mechanical minions and commandeers vehicles to lay waste to even more, and the game is at its best in big, action-oriented shooting sections. The addition of a melee system was nicely implemented in the rare cases when things get up close and personal, but could easily have been replaced by a one button counter system; similarly, I’m not sure what the purpose of the upgrade system was since it barely affected my gameplay experience. Sadly, it’s not perfect; the chase sequences were awful at times and the game really doesn’t make it clear what you’re supposed to do in a lot of its sections, resulting in unnecessary failure, made all the worse by the lack of checkpoints. In the end, it’s clearly the superior of the two PlayStation 2 Terminator 3 games but not by much; there’s still plenty here to turn you off and, again, there are far better third-person action/shooters out there. Ironically, I feel like a combination of both games could’ve resulted in something a bit more enjoyable; combined first-person sequences with third-person moments and the best parts of each game could’ve been the key but, instead, we’re left with two lacklustre tie-ins to an awful Terminator movie. If you put a gun to my head and made me pick which I prefer, it’d be this one, but I won’t be playing it ever again so that’s not much of a compliment.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Have you ever played Terminator3: The Redemption? If so, did you prefer it compared to the previous adaptation? Which of the game’s missions was your favourite? Did you enjoy the fast-paced action of the game? Were you disappointed by the lack of weapons and bosses? Did you also struggle in the chase sequences? What did you think to the change in the story part-way through? Which parts of the game frustrated you the most? What’s your favourite Terminator videogame and how are you celebrating Judgement Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Terminator3, and the Terminator franchise, feel free to leave a reply down below or drop a comment on my social media.
Gillian Church posts regular Writing Prompts on her Horror Prompts Instagram account and I like to take part with a few snippets and pieces of flash fiction.
The Prompts: Choke, Levitate, Mud, Field, Nightmare
The Submission: It was like a nightmare, scrambling through the corn field, my feet caked in mud.
All around me, I could hear the cawing of crows, the chanting of those murmured words, and see the burning lights of torches.
How long until they found me? Strung me up like that girl, who choked against that taught rope?
How long before I become their next sacrifice to that dark, looming shape from that levitated from the gloom of the night?
What did you think to this piece? Did you submit anything for Gillian’s prompts? Have you ever written any flash fiction before? I’d love to know what you think to my snippets and writing prompts, so feel free to sign up and let me know what you think below or leave a comment on my Instagram page. You can also follow Gillian Church and Horror Prompts to take part in regular writing challenges.
Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and popular superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was first bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the true meaning of power and responsibility in Amazing Fantasy #15, August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in numerous cartoons, live-action movies, videogames, action figures, and countless comic book titles and, in celebration of his debut and his very own day of celebration, I’ve been dedicating every Saturday of August to talk about everyone’s favourite web-head!
Released: 17 April 2007 Originally Released: 30 June 2004 Director: Sam Raimi Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing Budget: $200 million Stars: Tobey Maguire, Alfred Molina, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, J. K. Simmons, and Rosemary Harris
The Plot: Although he has saved countless lives as Spider-Man, Peter Parker’s (Maguire) personal life is falling apart due to his double life. Lovesick for Mary Jane Watson (Dunst) and tormented with guilt, Peter’s powers begin to fail him just as he faces his greatest challenge yet when renowned scientist Doctor Otto Octavius (Molina) becomes a four-limbed madman following a freak accident. When “Doctor Octopus” endangers lives, Peter is forced to reconcile his two lives in order to save the city, and the woman he loves, once again.
The Background: Fittingly, given that his debut issue became one of Marvel’s best selling titles at the time, Spider-Man became so popular that he was ideally placed as Marvel Comics’ flagship character; the wall-crawler starred in numerous team-up titles, videogames, cartoons, and even a live-action series in the seventies, but his cinematic debut was constantlydelayed by script and legal issues. Thankfully, director Sam Raimi and Sony Pictures Entertainment finally brought the character to life in Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002), which was an incredible critical and commercial success, but, while a big-budget sequel was almost immediately greenlit by the studio, Spider-Man 2 nearly underwent a major recast after star Tobey Maguire suffered a back injury. Although Jake Gyllenhaal was pegged to replace Maguire in the title role, Tobey recovered and returned to the franchise, which saw him go up against Alfred Molina as Doc Ock. A big fan of the comic books, Molina was excited to win the role and threw himself into it, relishing the chance to play a sympathetic villain with a sardonic sense of humour and even naming and playing pranks with his four prosthetic limbs on set.
After decades of legal issues, Spider-Man’s big-screen debut was a massive success.
Doc Ock’s arms were created by Edge FX and were a mixture of practical puppetry and visual effects. To improve upon the first film’s web-slinging antics, a specially-constructed “Spydercam” was employed to zip through the city and more accurately create the illusion of speed and excitement throughout the entire film, rather than just the final swing sequence. Following a number of script ideas, Raimi worked closely with the screenwriters to alter Doc Ock into a more sympathetic figure and to incorporate elements from the classic “Spider-Man No More!” (Lee, et al, 1967) story. Considering that Spider-Man 2 is often regarded as one of the greatest superhero movies ever made, and far exceeded its predecessor in terms of storytelling and visual effects, the film actually made less than the first at the box office (though a $789 million worldwide gross is anything but a failure!) Critics heaped praise upon the film; Molina, especially, was highlighted for his magnetic performance and the engaging plot regarding Peter’s personal drama was praised as much as the visual effects. Still consistently cited as one of the best sequels and superhero films ever, Spider-Man 2 was followed not just by a videogame adaptation and a third instalment, but was also re-released on home media (with twenty minutes of additional footage and some alternate cuts incorporated into the film) close to the Spider-Man 3’s (Raimi, 2007) release and Molina would later reprise his iconic role inthe Marvel Cinematic Universe.
The Review: While I remember there being a great deal of hype surrounding Spider-Man, I actually don’t remember the same being true for the sequel; this isn’t to say that it wasn’t massively anticipated by many, myself included, I just can’t really remember it as much as I was a little older and distracted by other concerns at the time. I know the initial trailer hit pretty hard, and it was exciting to see Doc Ock being brought to life, especially as he’s always been my favourite classic Spider-Man foe. Growing up reading the limited comics I had access to and watching the Spider-Man cartoon (1994 to 1998), I’d actually had little exposure to Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin, and it wasn’t until Raimi’s first movie that I fully understood how big an impact Osborn had had on Spidey’s life. Consequently, though, I had always seen the calculating, ruthless Doc Ock as Spidey’s greatest villain; he handed the wall-crawler his first defeat, brought together the Sinister Six, and always seemed to crop up in the comics and videogames I was exposed to (potentially because Osborn was dead at that point). Still, back then, superhero movies were really starting to break through to the mainstream, and Spider-Man 2 was an exciting prospect given how well the first one had gone down, and the film immediately recaptures the feel and atmosphere of the last movie by once again utilising the great Danny Elfman for the opening title sequence (and even catching viewers up to speed using paintings by the amazing Alex Ross to recap key moments of the last movie).
Burdened by the weight of his responsibilities and the stress of his life, Peter’s powers begin to fail him.
As in the first movie, Spider-Man 2 opens with a bit of narration from Peter Parker, who’s in a pretty bad place here; having chosen to walk away from M. J. and live a life of responsibility, forsaking his own selfish needs in order to honour the memory of his beloved Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson), Peter is tormented by M. J.’s vacant, staring visage from atop a giant billboard and pines for her every day, martyring himself for the choice he was forced to make. No longer living in his childhood home in Queens with his doting Aunt May (Harris), Peter lives in a crummy little apartment in the middle of the city that is cramped, dirty, falling apart, and right next to the train line. The door sticks, there’s a communal bathroom, and he’s constantly hounded by his landlord, Mr. Ditkovitch (Elya Baskin) for rent, which he can barely afford to pay as he has recently lost his job as a pizza delivery boy and is constantly being shafted on payment for his photos of Spider-Man (and other notable events in the city) by Daily Bugle editor-in-chief J. Jonah Jameson (Simmons). While Peter was often angst-ridden and burdened by bad luck (“Parker Luck”, as he called it) in the comics, the whole world is out to get him here; he can’t keep up with his college assignments, people are constantly barging into him, he’s cockblocked by an obnoxious usher (Bruce Campbell), and he can’t even walk out of a supply cupboard without stuff falling on him. The amount of hardship he faces in this one movie is almost absurd, and is equalled only by his desperate pining for M. J.; he desperately wants to tell her the truth but can’t risk endangering her life, and is equally unable to quell Harry Osborn’s (Franco) hatred of Spider-Man to preserve Norman’s memory. Peter’s also still carrying the guilt of having indirectly caused Uncle Ben’s death, and it’s only after sharing this with Aunt May that his outlook begins to change. And just in time, too, as all this stress is not only causing a rift between him and the few friends he has but also cancelling out his spider-powers. Since Tobey has organic webbing, this is an interesting way to do the old “run out of web fluid in mid-air/mid-fight” trope, but the depiction is quite inconsistent; potentially an allegory for sexual inadequacy and clearly a manifestation of his troubles, Peter’s powers only short out when the script says so, meaning he’s denied even the freedom offered from retreating to web-slinging.
Though she has a hunky astronaut, M. J. can’t deny her feelings and chooses Peter after learning the truth.
Just as Peter pines after M. J. on a daily basis, almost to an uncomfortable degree, so too is M. J. constantly distracted by him; Harry claims that she is “waiting for [him]”, but, regardless of his love for her, Peter continues to keep her at arm’s length and to avoid discussing his feelings for her. Although she’s clearly still in love with him, M. J. is doing a far better job of moving on (or, at least, hiding) from those feelings; she not only has a billboard but has landed her dream job with a part in The Importance of Being Earnest, A Trivial Comedy for Serious People (Wilde, 1895) and even gotten herself a ruggedly handsome astronaut (of all things), Colonel John Jameson (Daniel Gillies). John is barely a character at all and simply there to deliver another gut punch to Peter; M. J. clearly isn’t that into him, despite accepting his proposal, as she’s constantly yearning for Peter and waiting for him to admit his feelings for her. However, she’s also increasingly frustrated by Peter; despite him claiming to be her greatest friend and confidante, he’s been absent and unreliable, and she’s driven to the edge when he breaks his promise to see her play. Otto offers Peter some advice in trying to explain things to M. J., which leads to him awkwardly blurting out random poetry excerpts to her, and he inadvertently ends up alienating her so much that she’s fully prepared to settle for John, even briefly entertaining the idea that she was wrong about Peter and that John is Spider-Man. All of M. J.’s frustrations and concerns are completely swept away once she sees the truth she’s known all along and Peter clearly explains that he can’t risk being with her because of his responsibilities, but she ultimately chooses to face those dangers with him so that they don’t have to deny themselves. M. J. is a bit underwhelming here, to be honest; I’ve never really been a big fan of Dunst in the role and, while she has a feisty side, the script doesn’t really do her character any favours. It gets a bit worse in hindsight as she blows up at Peter in the next film for kissing a girl but she’s here making out with (and presumably having sex with) her hunky boyfriend, while trying to coax the truth out of Peter instead of just demanding that he be honest with her. She also ends up as a screaming hostage once more, and it’s telling that even Aunt May has more fight in her when captured by Doc Ock than the object of Peter’s affections.
Harry, consumed with vengeance, is stunned to discover Peter and Spider-Man are one and the same!
Peter’s life is further complicated by his strained relationship with Harry; despite struggling through school in the first film, Harry has done pretty well for himself in the intervening time, becoming head of special projects as OsCorp and funding Otto’s fusion research in a bid to live up to (and surpass) his father’s lofty ambitions. However, having seen Spider-Man with his father’s body at the conclusion of the first film, Harry assumes that Spidey killed his dad and has been harbouring a deep-seated vendetta against the wall-crawler ever since. Even when Spider-Man saves his life, Harry isn’t swayed in his opinion, and his lust for revenge even drives him to turn against Peter in a bitter, drunken rage in one of the film’s most dramatic and upsetting moments. An extended scene included in this version sheds a little more light on Harry’s mindset, as he believes that Peter either knows who Spider-Man is or is protecting him from reprisals since he earns money from the masked vigilante, and he compares his desire to see Spider-Man dead to the bloodlust Peter must feel towards the man who killed Uncle Ben, thus painting Harry as a dark mirror of the titular hero. Frustration and grief get the better of Harry after Otto’s experiment is a disaster, and he unleashes a vicious, heart-breaking tirade against his best friend for choosing his livelihood over his best friend. Harry’s obsession only grows when Spider-Man is believed to have quit after his discarded costume is discovered, and he’s so consumed by vengeance that he partners with Doc Ock to draw Spider-Man out by having him target Peter in exchange for supplying the mad scientist with the Tridium he needs to complete his fusion experiment. With Spider-Man helpless before him, Harry prepares to deliver the killing blow and is stunned into a near maddening disbelief to find his best friend behind the mask, shattering his perception of reality and the people around him and leaving him susceptible to the manipulative influence of his father’s vengeful spirit.
A science experiment gone awry transforms kindly Dr. Octavius into the twisted, sardonic Doc Ock.
Of course, Spidey’s most tangible threat in the film is Doc Ock himself; beginning as a kindly mentor and hero of Peter’s, Otto is a far cry from the malicious, power-hungry mad scientist from the comic books. Although initially reluctant to interrupt his work by entertaining Peter’s questions, especially given he’s aware of Peter’s assumed laziness, Otto quickly finds a kinship with Peter based on their mutual appreciation for science. A likable, fatherly figure, Otto is absolutely besotted with his beloved wife, Rosie (Donna Murphy), and emphasises to Peter the importance of using his great potential and intelligence for the good of mankind. Despite his unparalleled scientific mind, Otto is also a romantic at heart and encourages Peter not to bottle up his love and emotions lest they make him sick, though both he and Rosie stress that love requires a lot of hard work from both parties. Otto’s life work is to provide the world with clean, renewable energy using a Tridium-based fusion reaction; Otto is so convinced of the safety and importance of his experiment that he generates an artificial sun in the middle of New York City, confidant that his four mechanical limbs will allow him to stabilise the resultant reaction and give him his moment of glory. Of course, everything goes hideously wrong when his machinery malfunctions, which not only results in Rosie being killed but Otto’s mechanical appendages being fused to his spinal column. Awakening in a confused state, Otto finds himself susceptible to the arms’ artificial intelligence after his inhibitor chip is destroyed; as they’re programmed to create and stabilise the experiment, the arms influence him towards robbing banks and committing crimes to rebuild the reactor at an abandoned pier rather than drown himself in the river in his grief. Christened Doctor Octopus (“Doc Ock”) by Jameson, Otto becomes a twisted, power-hungry maniac who completely abandons all of his former principals and puts innocent lives in danger thanks to the influence of his arms. He not only tries to kill a train-load of New Yorkers but even takes Aunt May and M. J. as hostages and battles Spider-Man with a devious glee, constantly frustrated by the web-slinger’s interference and determined to kill him so he can be left in peace. Doc Ock’s story is functionally similar to that of Norman’s in the first film (both were mentor and father figures turned to evil by science), but the execution is unique enough to stand out from his predecessor; he stomps around in broad daylight, his identity is never in question, and his ultimate goal isn’t to prove his physical superiority, but to prove his intellectual superiority and complete his life’s work by any means necessary.
While Jonah delights in Spidey’s misfortune, Aunt May and Ursula offer Peter some much-needed support.
As haunted by M. J. and his many doubts and problems Peter is, his guilt over indirectly causing Uncle Ben’s death basically dictates his entire life. The only reason he’s denying his true feelings is because his interpretation of Ben’s final teaching was that he had an obligation to put his powers to good use, a life lesson that is reinforced by Otto and his position of scientific acumen. However, all of the stress caused by his conflicting duality sends Peter’s power son the fritz; his webs stop firing, he can’t always stay stuck to walls, and he begins wearing his glasses again as his eyesight fails. Concerned for his physical welfare, he consults a doctor, who offers the prognosis that the issue is psychological rather than physical, and, with the weight of the world pressing down upon him thanks to Jameson’s smear campaign, Peter rejects his responsibilities in a dream-like conversation with his uncle’s spirit. Upon being brought Spider-Man’s discarded suit, Jameson is overjoyed that his efforts to besmirch and belittle the wall-crawler have met with success, but he’s forced to admit that Spider-Man was a hero when Doc Ock kidnaps M. J., thus leaving John distraught, though Peter delights in upstaging the cantankerous editor once he gets his shit together. He’s helped in this regard by an honest exchange with Aunt May; given that the film takes place on the two year anniversary of Ben’s death, May is in a fragile place, which is only exacerbated by her inability to keep up the payments on their family home. Burdened by his guilt, Peter shares a version of the truth of that fateful day to her; though initially horrified, she forgives him and stresses the importance of doing the right thing. It’s heavily implied in this exchange that May is aware of Peter’s dual nature and, though neither explicitly admit it, he’s relieved that her encounter with Doc Ock and subsequent rescue from Spider-Man has turned her opinions on the web-spinner around. After giving up his suit, Peter applies himself fully to his social life and academic work, finally earning him the praise of his teacher, Doctor Curt Connors (Dylan Baker), and he later finds some support in Ursula (Mageina Tovah), the daughter of his landlord, who clearly has a crush on him and brings him a moment of quiet reprieve in a moment of absolute despair. This extended cut adds a few additional scenes, most of which are alternate takes and longer sequences that don’t really add too much to the existing story, though one of the most notable additions is a hilarious scene where Jameson hops around his office garbed in Spider-Man’s discarded suit and a discussion between M. J. and her friend where it’s revealed she accepts John’s proposal primarily because of her father’s abusive nature.
The Nitty-Gritty: Given that it’s a Spider-Man movie, Spider-Man 2 is primarily focused on exploring themes of guilt and the weight of responsibility; Peter drives himself into the ground trying to save everyone he can and live up to his uncle’s expectations, to the point where he neglects his life outside of the costume. Not only is he failing at school and to make money, he’s letting everyone around him down, which only adds to his feelings of despair; his friends are starting to resent and distrust him because of his absent nature and, while he’s desperate to do more and to apply himself better, he can’t shake the call to action. Even something as simple as delivering pizzas or getting to the play is interrupted by a disturbance of some kind, whether it’s kids playing in the street or a high-speed car chase, and Peter doesn’t even let himself relax when he’s in his crummy apartment as he sits there tuning into the police radio band to find ways for him to help. This ever-mounting struggle to find the right balance between his wants and his responsibilities is the primary cause for his failing powers; losing his webs, wall-crawling, spider-sense, and strength only adds to Peter’s confusion and frustration as the freedom afforded to him by being Spider-Man also becomes a closed door. Once he decides to quit, that weight is immediately lifted but his brief moment of happiness is shattered when he’s unable to save a life from a house fire, thus hammering home that he is capable of great things and thus must exercise great responsibility.
Both Spider-Man and Doc Ock look fantastic, and Ock’s arms make for exciting fight sequences.
Surprisingly, Tobey’s spider-suit is basically the same design as before; normally, superhero sequels go out of their way to change the character’s costume to make more toys but, aside from popping a little more and a few tweaks to the mask, muscle suit, and other minor details, it remains consistent with the first film. Thanks to the movie not having to spend an hour or so setting up Peter’s origin, we get much more Spider-Man action here and the aforementioned Spydercam really delivers some dynamic web-slinging shots. As ever, Peter has an annoying tendency to lose or remove his mask so that we don’t miss out on the emotional impact scenes and events have on him; this is, as always, hit or miss as Tobey favours a vacant, doe-eyed stare throughout most of the film and the regularity that he is unmasked gets ridiculous at times, regardless of how dramatic or thematically relevant these scenes are. While audiences will forever decry the Green Goblin’s outfit in the last film, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone complain about Doc Ock’s depiction here; garbed in a trench coat, hat, and glasses, Doc Ock cuts a simple but intimidating figure and it really is impressive how Molina projects the weight and movement of his mechanical limbs. The arms are extremely versatile, able to stretch out and grab things in their claws, light Ock’s cigar, and even sporting a nasty looking spear-like appendage. While Otto can control and influence the arms, the destruction of the inhibitor chip allows them to act independently of him, but their goal is not only to create and sustain a fusion reaction but also to protect Ock at all costs. Swinging and whipping everywhere, the tentacles cause Spider-Man a great deal of difficulty in getting to Doc Ock and make him a constant threat as they can perform multiple tasks and endanger many lives all at once. One of their most memorable sequences is when they lash out while Otto is unconscious, slaughtering the doctors that try to remove them in scenes that harken back to Raimi’s time as a horror filmmaker as we see fingernails being ripped off and screaming bodies being tossed all over the place. Indeed, Rosie’s horrific death (though not seen onscreen it’s pretty clear she was practically decapitated) and many shots of the arms are created using practical effects, puppetry, and first-person perspectives just like those seen in his Evil Dead films (Raimi, 1981 to 1992) and their threat is matched by Otto’s obsession with holding “the power of the sun in the palm of [his] hand”.
Spider-Man and Doc Ock’s battles are a spectacle, and Spidey performs incredible feats to save lives.
The versatility of Doc Ock’s arms really do make for some of the best fight sequences in any Spider-Man film; despite the armaments and manoeuvrability of the Green Goblin’s glider, Spider-Man’s fights never really kicked into that higher gear as the filmmakers were still working out how to create the special effects necessary to shoot these sequences (something that the third film greatly improved upon), but Spider-Man 2 more than makes up for this with scenes depicting Spider-Man and Doc Ock battling up the sides of buildings and on top of a speeding train. While it’s true that any one of Spidey’s repeated blows to the non-superpowered Doc Ock should have immediately ended the multi-limbed menace, I can forgive this as it’s really exciting to see Spidey have to dodge and flip around the tentacles and fight through them while on the side of a building or whipping around a bank. I can also forgive the convenience of Doc Ock robbing the same bank that Peter and May happen to be at because it leads to him clambering up the sides of buildings with May and his bags of loot, tossing better (and more sadistic) quips than Spider-Man himself, and showing just how dangerous and adaptable his mechanical limbs are as they can hoist him up, absorb impact damage, and deflect Spidey’s blows at every turn. Obviously, the most thrilling action scene is the train sequence, which sees Spider-Man first using his webs to save the civilians Doc Ock causally tosses away, battling him on the exterior of the speeding train carriages, and then using all of his fantastic strength to literally force the out of control train to a stop. Full disclosure, though…I’ve always found this sequence to be a little over the top; the physics and logistics of it seem a little outside of Spider-Man’s range and more like something Clark Kent/Superman would do, but it undeniably makes for a brilliantly dramatic sequence as it shows that Peter will literally push himself to exhaustion and beyond his limits to save lives. The passengers are so grateful to him that they promise not to share that they’ve seen his face, moved by how young and brave he is, and Spidey only adds to his heroic card by basically trading his life for theirs when Doc Ock returns for him.
Thanks to Ock’s sacrifice, the city is saved, but Harry poses a looming threat…
After having a taste of happiness, Peter begins to believe that he can finally offer M. J. his true feelings but, after realising that he can’t deny the great responsibility bestowed upon him, he’s forced to walk this suggestion back and once again pretend that he’s not in love with her. However, his spider powers truly return in full force after Doc Ock inexplicably kidnaps M. J. to force Peter to lure Spider-Man out for a final confrontation. As many have mentioned, it’s damn lucky that Peter is Spider-Man and that his spider-sense kicked in at that exact moment or else Doc Ock’s errant taxicab would have squashed them both and Harry would’ve indirectly killed his two best friends. When he discovers that Peter and Spider-Man are one and the same, Harry is stunned, to say the least, and heartbroken by the belief that his best friend apparently killed his father. However, Peter manages to convince Harry to reveal Doc Ock’s location in order to rescue M. J. by stressing that there’s more at stake than their personal problems (though a quick “No, he was a madman who tried to kill me” might’ve gone a long way…) Thus, once again, Spider-Man has to save M. J. from a supervillain, though she’s much sassier here than last time, where she was little more than a screaming wreck. Enraged at Doc Ock’s actions, which not only threaten the entire city but have put first Aunt May and then M. J. in the line of fire, Spidey delivers a massive beatdown, once again taxing himself to the limits to shield M. J. from a falling girder and finally revealed the truth to her after removing his mask again. To be fair, this time Peter voluntarily unmasks in a desperate attempt to appeal to Otto’s humanity; thoroughly beaten, Otto snaps out of his insanity upon seeing the face of his protégé and surrogate son and realises that his arms have perverted everything he once stood for. With the fusion reaction threatening to suck the city into it like an artificial black hole, Otto exerts all of his willpower and humanity in a tragic sacrificial effort to drown the artificial sun and redeem himself, once again delivering a startling message of the dangers of scientific exploration and arrogance to Peter. Despite coming to terms with the fact that he can never be with M. J. as he’ll always be Spider-Man, Peter is delighted when she ditches John at the altar to be with him and triumphantly swings off to attend to an emergency with M. J.’s blessing. However, unbeknownst to either of them, Harry is tormented by a vision of his dead father and stunned to stumble upon a hidden laboratory containing a cache of Norman’s Green Goblin apparel, and potentially the means to exact his revenge against his former friend…
The Summary: Even today, after all the Spider-Man films we’ve had over the years, Spider-Man 2 remains a highly praised entry in the franchise and has long been the gold standard that all other Spider-Man films are measured by. It’s really not too hard to see why; like all great sequels, Spider-Man 2 takes everything that worked in the first film and provides not only more of the best aspects but improves upon them at every turn. The interpersonal drama is heightened, the action and fight sequences are much more exciting and visually impressive, and Spider-Man’s web-slinging is a sight to behold thanks to the innovative camera techniques pioneered in this film. While some of the performances still leave a lot to be desired, the visual spectacle more than makes up for it and Alfred Molina’s brilliantly nuanced portrayal of Doctor Octopus carries the acting quality to a new level, allowing Tobey Maguire to focus on embodying Peter’s utter despair and anguish. Most importantly, Spider-Man 2 does a wonderful job of balancing all of its narrative elements; Peter’s struggles with his dual life and his failing powers are perfectly juxtaposed with Doc Ock’s menace, and it never feels like there’s too much going on. I’d argue that the only main character to suffer is Mary Jane, simply because I would prefer to see more agency from her, but I loved seeing Harry’s obsession send him into a downward spiral of revenge that parallels Otto’s degradation from kindly father figure to sadistic, megalomaniacal villain. If you’re going to watch Spider-Man 2, be sure to pop in this extended version as the few extra minutes add a little more spice to the sauce, so to speak, and the film remains as entertaining as ever, even in the face of the more visually impressive and narratively faithful Marvel Studios movies. My only regret is that some of the lingering plot points were poorly addressed in the third film, but that definitely doesn’t diminish Spider-Man 2’s appeal and it remains in the top tier of the web-slinger’s live-action films to this day.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
Are you a fan of Spider-Man2? Where does it rank for you against the many other Spider-Man movies? Did you enjoy the extended sequences offered in this version of the movie? What did you think to Peter’s many struggles in the film and which of the fight sequences was your favourite? Were you a fan of Alfred Molina’s portrayal of Doc Ock and were you excited to see him return to the role? What did you think to Harry’s character development and were you excited at the prospect of him taking up his father’s legacy in the third film? Do you think the film still holds up or do you prefer other filmic interpretations of the character? Whatever your opinion on Spider-Man2, leave a comment and thanks for joining me for Spider-Man Month!
Story Title: “Blue Monday” Published: May 2006 Writers: Keith Giffen and John Rogers Artist: Cully Hamner
Story Title: “Can’t Go Home Again” Published: June 2006 Writers: Keith Giffen and John Rogers Artist: Cully Hamner
Story Title: “The Past Is Another Country” Published: July 2006 Writers: Keith Giffen and John Rogers Artist: Cynthia Martin
The Background: I wouldn’t begrudge modern readers of DC Comics if they didn’t know who Dan Garret was. The creation of Charles Nicholas Wojtkoski, the very first Blue Beetle featured prominently in Charlton Comics and is pretty much all but forgotten in the legacy of the character. Hell, I wouldn’t be too surprised it Garret’s successor, genius inventor Theodore “Ted” Kord, didn’t ring a bell; in 1966, Steve Ditko reimagined the Blue Beetle but, despite his tenure on Justice League International and making waves through his friendship with Michael Carter/Booster Gold, Ted never really rose beyond the ranks of a D-list hero and is generally remembered for being shockingly and graphically executed on-panel in the build-up to the universe-shakingInfinite Crisis (Johns, et al, 2005 to 2006). Indeed, even a big Ted Kord fan like myself has to acknowledge the mainstream impact of his successor, Jaime Reyes, easily the most recognisable incarnation of the Blue Beetle to date; Jamie has appeared in videogames, cartoons, and in live-action, both on television and even his own feature film. A noted Latino superhero, Jaime was created by Keith Giffen, John Rogers, and Cully Hamner and debuted in the pages of Infinite Crisis before appearing in his own self-titled comic book two months later. Jaime separated himself from his predecessors not just in his more diverse background and his youth, but also by actually deriving superhuman powers and abilities from a techno-symbiotic alien scarab infused to his spine, making him theoretically the more competent of the three Blue Beetles, though this was counterbalanced by his lack of experience and control with the scarab. Jaime has been a part of DC’s premier superhero team, the Justice League, as well as the Teen Titans, fought extraterresital threats and struggled to figure out his powers, and is generally regarded as one of DC’s best legacy characters in recent years.
The Review: As mentioned above, Jaime made his first appearances in the epic, universe-shattering Infinite Crisis. Specifically, Jaime made a very brief cameo in Infinite Crisis #3 (Johns, et al, 2006) where, in the midst of the mainstream DC universe being rocked by incursions from disgruntled heroes from previous, destroyed worlds, young Jaime just happened to stumble across the glowing, mysterious scarab just sitting out in the open. Jaime returned in Infinite Crisis #4 (ibid), where he was stunned to find Booster Gold and Skeets searching his bedroom for the scarab, which would allow him to reveal the forces of Bruce Wayne/Batman’s renegade artificial intelligence, Brother Eye; although initially amazed to find such a prominent, corporate sponsored hero in his bedroom, Jaime was soon aghast to find that the scarab had fused itself to his spine. When Booster Gold brought him to the Batcave in Infinite Crisis #5 (ibid), Jaime’s life changed forever as the scarab, sensing danger, encompassed his body in a sleek, form-fitting armoured suit unlike any sported by his predecessors. Although very much out of his depth, Jaime found himself in space alongside some of Earth’s greatest heroes in Infinite Crisis #6; his suit unsettled Green Lantern John Stewart’s semi-sentient power ring and he was so overwhelmed by the confusion and stakes of their mission that he had to receive a pep talk from Batman, of all people. Although he couldn’t begin to understand the nature of the scarab, Jaime found the suit had a mind of its own; as soon as the heroes got close enough to Brother Eye’s cloaked satellite, the suit sparked to life and exposed it, leading to a massive battle to decide the fate of all universe, a fight that Jaime was spared since the suit promptly teleported him out of there, against his will, to get away from the Green Lanterns present.
Jaime’s teenage troubles are compounded by the scarab and the mysterious Posse.
Jaime’s solo comic bounces between the present, where he returns to Earth, and the past, which focuses on providing Jaime with more backstory than “confused young kid suddenly gifted superpowers”. He’s a talented high schooler from El Paso, Texas whose free time is spent mediating the constant bickering between his friends, workshy Paco Testas and fastidious aikido student Brenda Del Vecchio. This provides a little more context behind Jaime’s random discovery of the scarab, which he stumbled upon while his friends were squabbling and took home without thinking much about it. At home, Jaime’s mother, nurse Bianca, despairs of his constant quarrelling with his annoying little sister, Milagro and has him take lunch to his father, Alberto, who owns a garage in town. Although Jaime wishes to help his hard-working father, Alberto encourages him to both study and enjoy being a kid while he has the time. That evening, after accidentally stepping on the scarab, Jaime awakens to find himself talking a strange alien language and a similar text glowing on his palm, which he chalks up to being a dream, an explanation Brenda and Paco encourage, but he’s spooked when he crosses path with a strange girl without any eyes who speaks to him in riddles. Jaime’s friends were less than helpful with his predicament; Paco is convinced that Jaime’s seeing ghosts and Bianca’s suggestion that he take the scarab to someone to analyse is no help since it’s vanished. They’re left dumbfounded when he spots the goth chick, Probe, and her tattooed associate, Damper, hanging around the school and he promptly vanishes from sight when he gets close to them thanks to Damper’s ability to cloak their presence with his “mojo”. Jaime’s confused by them; it doesn’t help that they talk in riddles and he has no idea what’s going on, but their curiosity turns to anger when Probe’s attempt to mentally.. well, probe…Jaime sees her being first blocked and then suffer a painful seizure.
The scarab’s armour brings Jaime undue attention and lashes out uncontrollably.
After trying, and failing, one more time to convince Alberto to let him help out, Jaime found himself set upon by Damper and three of his cohorts – the bloated Scour, diminutive Thump, and alluring Bonita – a group of street-level metahumans calling themselves the “Posse”. While the others want to take a more direct approach at making Jaime pay for hurting Probe, and Damper even subtly threatens Jaime’s family, Bonita attempts to subdue him using a combination of pheromones and feminine wiles. Luckily for the captivated Jaime, the scarab’s instincts kick in and he finds himself shielded by his alien armour, which gives him the means to fight back against them, though entirely beyond Jaime’s control, and the scarab can even detect that Bonita is pregnant. As mentioned, these three issues also chart what happened after Jaime dramatically crashes back to Earth. He was immediately attacked by hot-headed Green Lantern Guy Gardner and, since Jaime had no idea how his suit works or what it’s capable of, he was entirely at the scarab’s mercy as it instinctively formed shields, energy-based weapons, and even wings to fend off Guy’s relentless assault, all while Jaime expressed terror and confusion at the entire situation. Jaime’s inexperience allowed Guy to pound him into the dirt and drove him to beg for mercy, and Guy was horrified to find that his ring drove him to attack and almost kill a kid. This showed that scarab is perceived as such a threat by the ring that it drove Guy into a temporary bloodlust, almost driving him to the point of murder, which he claims is something he’s not known for (which is odd as I could’ve sworn Guy’s more volatile nature had seen him kill before…). After Guy left, Jaime was wracked with pain as the suit retracted into the scarab, which has painfully bound itself to his spine, and was left naked in the desert trying to figure out how to tell his mother what happened.
Jaime is stunned to find he lost an entire year of his life during Infinite Crisis.
Although he was helped by a kindly gas station attendant with some clothes, food, and a ride, Jaime was constantly bothered by the scarab’s alien voice in his head (which, amusingly, sounds like his mother); however, his troubles were only compounded when he got home to find out that he’d been gone for an entire year! This means that Jaime has no choice but to come clean to his family about where he was and his new abilities; however, his suit terrifies Milagro and Bianca was so convinced that he was dead that she refuses to believe that Jaime and the Blue Beetle are one and the same. Alberto, who now requires a cane to walk, is somewhat more understanding and sympathetic, explaining the grief they all went through thinking he was dead, but promises to talk to her on his behalf. Overwhelmed by it all, Jaime flies off and tries to get a grip on his powers but is amazed by the sensory overload and destructive abilities of his alien armour. While he doesn’t understand it and is still acting on instinct, the scarab is able to bring up a holographic compass that leads him to Paco at the Mexican border and allied with Damper. The Blue Beetle arrives in time to shield them from agents of “La Dama” and, during the fight, Jaime constantly berates his armour for being too violent but manages to fly Paco out of there. While Jaime doesn’t approve of Paco’s association with the Posse, he’s even more shocked to learn that Brenda almost died after her abusive father beat her and that she’s moved in with her wealthy aunt after he died in a car accident. Although Jaime earns a good punch to the gut for causing her to worry about his safety, the three friends are happy to be reunited, though they’re left blissfully unaware that Brenda’s aunt is the mysterious La Dama who’s been targeting the Posse…
The Summary: Make no mistake about it, Jaime Reyes is a very different Blue Beetle compared to his predecessors. I admittedly haven’t read too much of any of the Blue Beetles but my understanding has always been that Dan Garret and Ted Kord were completely normal human beings who took the iconography of the scarab and themed their crimefighting careers after it. Until Jaime’s introduction, I had no idea that the scarab was alien in origin, alive (in at least a techno-organic sense of the word), or capable of being such a versatile and visually interesting piece of symbiotic armour. Indeed, Jaime’s tenure represented a massive paradigm shift for the concept of the Blue Beetle; not only was he now a teenage kid with teenage dramas, he was in possession of a volatile alien weapon whose origins and capabilities were a complete mystery since they’d never been seen or associated with the character before, essentially meaning the Blue Beetle concept was reconfiguring into something entirely new, not unlike how the Green Lantern concept was significantly altered between Alan Scott and Hal Jordan.
Jaime’s personality and supporting cast are as intriguing as the mystery behind the alien armour.
What works for me in these three issues is the dynamic between Jaime and his supporting cast; he’s a smart kid, capable of speaking multiple languages and applying himself at school, and also a good kid, volunteering time and again to help his father out and pulling his weight at home. However, he also has some snark, particularly with his bratty little sister, and he describes himself as Brenda and Paco’s “babysitter” since he’s often forced to be the voice of reason when they get into it. I really enjoyed the banter between the three of them; it’s a friendship dynamic that really grounds the character to contrast his relatively normal and mundane lifestyle with the chaos of his newfound superhero life. I also enjoyed the relationship between Jaime and Alberto; a physically tough but empathetic father, Alberto works hard to provide for his family but still encourages Jaime to live his life, so it’s all the more jarring when Jaime returns home to find his father a shell of his former self and his family still grieving from his presumed death. While there are a few fights in these issues and they’re exhilarating enough thanks to the colourful and kinetic art style, the main conflict here is between Jaime and the scarab, which latches itself to him and almost immediately turns his life upside down, sweeping him away on an outer space adventure and unwittingly stealing a year of his life, as well as constantly bombarding him with alien language symbols, and bizarre weaponry.
Jaime represented a fun and visually interesting new direction for the Blue Beetle concept.
Obviously, these are just the first three issues of an ongoing story; the exact nature of the Posse, their issues with La Dama, and the changes faced by Jaime’s supporting cast are no doubt developed over the course of subsequent issues, but there was enough here to have me invested in Jaime and his world. I really like the mystery of the volatile relationship between the scarab and the Green Lantern Corps; we saw glimpses of this in Infinite Crisis and it would become a whole cosmic drama later on, but it really helps to flesh out that there’s always been more to the Blue Beetle than we could ever has suspected. Jaime is admittedly no fighter; he panics in battle and generally tries to talk his way out of situations rather than engage since he’s not acquitted for the superhero life, but the scarab is more than capable of compensating for that. Not only does it cover him in a sick looking beetle-themed armour, but it sprouts wings, enhances his senses, shoots lightning-like energy, augments his strength, and forms shields and all sorts to protect him…and fight back. Jaime is constantly overwhelmed by the armour and its insistence on violence, elements that again I’ve never associated with the Blue Beetle before. Jaime is a reluctant superhero, overwhelmed by what’s happening to him, and a potentially dangerous individual as he cannot control his abilities. In many ways, the scarab’s attachment to him is framed as a metaphor for puberty as his body undergoes strange and often violent changes. I guess hardcore fans of the Blue Beetle might have been turned off by how wildly different the character and concept are with Jaime at the helm, but I think they’re changes for the better. They result in a visually interesting character, one with an appealing personality and strong supporting cast, and increase the Blue Beetle’s appeal by adding all this mystery, lore, and potential to the concept. I really enjoyed this three-issue arc and would absolutely like to read on a bit more and find out more about what happened during his one year absence, what the story of the Posse is, and how it all ties in with La Dama, and to witness Jaime’s growth into his newfound role and abilities.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Are you a fan of Jaime Reyes? What did you think to his introduction and springboard to prominence in Infinite Crisis? Did you enjoy these first three issues and the changes to the Blue Beetle concept? What did you think to the scarab’s new abilities and its relationship with the Green Lantern Corps? Were you intrigued by the Posse and the one year gap introduced here? What did you think to Jaime’s supporting cast? Which incarnation of the Blue Beetle is your favourite and what are some of your favourite Jamie Reyes stories and moments? Whatever you think, drop a comment below or on my social media and be sure to check out my other Blue Beetle content.
Released: 11 November 2003 Developer: Black Ops Entertainment Also Available For: Game Boy Advance, Mobile, and Xbox
The Background: The Terminator franchise (Various, 1984 to 2019) has quite a long history with videogame adaptations; every film in the franchise has been adapted to at least one videogame over the years and the franchise even crossed over with RoboCop(Verhoeven, 1987) back in the day. Considering the rigmarole that went into getting a third film off the ground, and the fact that big-budget movies were generally always accompanied by a videogame tie-in during this time, it’s perhaps not surprising that Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (Mostow, 2003) was accompanied by not one, but three videogame adaptations to help push the film towards its $433.4 million box office. After acquiring the licensing rights, Atari set Black Ops Entertainment to work on the PlayStation 2 and Xbox versions of the game, and worked closely with special effects maestro Stan Winston and star Arnold Schwarzenegger to design the game’s visual aesthetic and narrative aspects. Although Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines garnered generally favourable reviews, critics felt that it was a rushed, bug-ridden, and graphically inferior title that relied too heavily on its license rather than offering a challenging and entertaining gameplay experience.
The Plot: In the post-apocalyptic future, where humanity wages war against the malicious Skynet and its robotic Terminators, Kate Brewster reprograms one of their infiltrator units to help storm the Time Displacement Chamber. Realising that a new Terminator, the T-X/Terminatrix, has been sent back to kill future leader John Connor, Kate sends the Terminator back to ensure the ultimate victory of the human race.
Gameplay: Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is a first-person shooter (FPS) in which players are placed into the role of the titular Terminator, the T-850 model portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the dire movie of the same name, and tasked with defending and ensuring the future of humanity across twenty-two missions, with the majority of the game’s action taking place in the post-apocalyptic wasteland of the Future War. The game’s controls are fully customisable to suit your needs, but the default settings work well enough and same pretty standard for an FPS title: the left stick moves you about, the right is used for aiming and strafing, and the R1 and R2 triggers fire your weapon’s primary and secondary functions, respectively (with most weapon’s secondary function being a melee attack that’s all-but useless until Mission 16, and even then I never used it). L1 allows you to lock onto the nearest target, which greatly aids with the game’s many firefights, while L2 lets you jump, which I also rarely had a use for as the Terminator struggles to clear anything but small debris. Triangle and Circle and left and right on the directional pad (D-pad) allow you to clunkily cycle through your weapons, Square reloads, and X lets you activate switches. You can press in the right stick to display your mission objectives (which are also available from the pause menu), the left stick to centre your view, and perform a 360o turn by double clicking the left stick. Finally, pressing Select switches to the classic red Terminator vision, which lets you see in infrared (useful when smoke clouds the screen), search for ammo, supplies, and targets, and displays your health, ammo, and the weaknesses and status of nearby allies and enemies.
Fend off Skynet’s forces with your weapons and engage with Terminators in clunky one-on-one brawls.
These are the controls you’ll be dealing with for the majority of the game and, for the most part, you’ll be stomping your way through war-torn wastelands and environments from the third film, blasting at Skynet’s forces and activating the odd switch here and there to progress further. However, Terminator 3 has a second gameplay style that’s exclusively used in boss battles; here, the game switches to a 2.5D brawler and has you awkwardly exchanging blows and throws with other Terminators. In these moments, the controls change functions: Triangle sees the Terminator kick at its foe, X throws a punch, Circle will throw them, and you can hold down Square to block. Sequential presses of Triangle and X will unleash limited combo attacks and pressing X or Circle in conjunction with D-pad inputs will allow you to perform stronger strikes or different throws, and you can also perform a dash attack by double tapping towards your opponent. Sadly, these sections aren’t very compelling and simply serve to showcase how awkward Terminator-on-Terminator fights can be, and this is also the extent of the gameplay variety. It seems at a couple of points like you might partake in some driving or chase sequences but that isn’t the case. Instead, you’ll just be wandering about turning Skynet’s forces into junk and exchanging blows with other cyborg foes and the game rarely demands too much from you. Terminator 3 tries to make navigation easier with an onscreen radar that points you in the direction of your current objective, but it doesn’t display anything else (like allies, enemies, or pick-ups); you can view a larger, more useful map from the pause screen, but you can’t move while looking at it, making it functionally useless. While mission objectives aren’t too taxing and generally amount to clearing out all enemies, locating allies, throwing switches, or destroying consoles, it can be difficult to figure out where you’re supposed to go or how you’re meant to progress as the environments are quite bland, confusing, and your objectives aren’t always readily understandable as you’re not given much direction.
Mission objectives don’t get too complex until you’re forced to spare human lives.
By this, I mean you’re occasionally asked to destroy all Skynet forces; this objective pops up when you enter a new area, so you might think you just need to clear out the machines stationed there, but the objective is actually to destroy all machines in the level, meaning you have to backtrack to hunt down any enemies that passed you by prior to getting that objective. Sometimes, you’re given a time limit to complete objectives, such as escaping areas before they explode; this can be tricky as it’s not always clear where your escape route is, and the Terminator’s jump is so janky that it’s easy to get stuck on the subway tracks and fail that particular mission a few times before you figure out how to jump up and throw the switches needed to escape. Other times, you can commandeer a laser turret to mow down waves of Terminators, Future Killer/F/K tanks and flying machines, or Skynet’s transport carriers. In some instances, you need to use heavier weaponry to blast through walls; other times, you need to re-route power to elevators or destroy consoles and tubes to disable security systems and keep Terminators from spawning, activate switches to extend bridges, destroy Skynet’s turrets and refuelling stations, or defend Resistance fighters as they escape to safety or bring down defensive systems. One mission flashes back to prior to the opening mission and has you controlling the T-850 as it mows down Resistance fighters, destroys their cannons, and infiltrates their base alongside other Terminators, though sadly its confrontation with John is relegated to a cutscene. Once you hit Mission 13, you’ll find yourself in the past and actually playing through key moments from the movie; missions become shorter and far less focused on gunfire and destruction as you need to rescue and protect John and Kate from local authorities and the T-X. When in the past, the Terminator has different weapons on hand and will fail its mission if it kills even one person, so you can’t just go in all-guns blazing any more. You’ll also need to keep an eye on John and Kate’s health bars, run around finding the parts necessary to repair a helicopter, find access cards, and battle past rampaging proto-Terminators to acquire access codes and such.
Graphics and Sound: I was surprised to find that, for the most part, Terminator 3 doesn’t look too bad; PlayStation 2 games, particularly licensed ones, tend to look a little janky and suffer from long load times but, while the latter is true of Terminator 3, the former isn’t and the game does a decent job of recreating the post-apocalyptic Future War of the Terminator films, locations and characters from the movie, and with its overall presentation. One feature I did like as that the game’s environments suffer damage from bullets, laser blasts, and explosions; it’s nothing ground-breaking and isn’t used all that much, but it’s cool to see blast marks and burns from combat and helps to make the world a little more immersive, though you cannot kill your allies so this kind of dispels those efforts. While you only see the Terminator in cutscenes, it resembles Arnold and has a couple of different looks depending on which time zone you’re in; when you stand idle for a bit, the Terminator will play with its gun, the game has reload animations, and the Terminator offers commentary when picking up items, eliminating targets, or completing objectives. Arnold lends his likeness and his voice to the title, which the game inexplicably tries to sell as the “first time” this has ever happened despite Arnold’s T-800 being playable in all of the Terminator 2: Judgment Day(Cameron, 1991) videogames; while it seems as though Nick Stahl also voices John, it certainly doesn’t sound like Claire Danes came back to voice Kate, and the T-X is rendered completely mute throughout the game.
Although dated, the game doesn’t look too bad, though suffers from graphical repetition.
While Terminator 3 faithfully recreates the dire wreckage of the Future War, this doesn’t necessarily lend itself to a visually enthralling gameplay experience. Everything is suitably dishevelled, destroyed, and bleak, with skyscrapers sporting gaping holes, playgrounds, petrol stations, and buildings reduced to ashen rubble, debris strewn everywhere, and ominous dark clouds broiling overhead. However, it’s very easy to get lost in such a dark and drab environment; even navigating the sewers or the Resistance bases and hovels, which are ripped right out of The Terminator(ibid, 1984) can be a bit of a chore as everything looks the same and it’s no joke when you have to backtrack to hunt down a switch or missed Terminator to destroy. Enemies also leave a lot to be desired, with the Terminators sporting weird colour schemes and appearing quite different to the classic endoskeleton, though Skynet’s headquarters and the Time Displacement Chamber help to break up the dark visuals of the main game. Once you’re in the past, you’ll visit key areas from the movie, such as the vet where Kate works, battling the T-X atop the crane truck, the Cyber Research lab, the cemetery, and Crystal Peak but these missions are so short and end so abruptly that you don’t get too much time to take in their visuals. The game does feature the iconic Terminator theme, more so than the movie it’s based on, and includes clips from the movie as cutscenes, though these rapidly skip over huge chunks of the story, potentially interesting gameplay sections, and cause the game’s last few missions to feel rushed, incomplete, and inconsequential compared to the Future War sections. Other times, CG cutscenes advance the story or recreate the movie’s ending, with elements from the film slightly altered as a result, and these hold up pretty well, certainly much better than the marionette-like in-game graphics of other cutscenes.
Enemies and Bosses: Since you’re playing as the reprogrammed Terminator, your primary enemies in this game will be the forces of Skynet, which run rampant in the Future War and sport laser armaments. Your most common enemies will be other Terminators, the T-900s, which appear as endoskeletons sporting either a green, yellow, or red colour scheme that indicates their strength and the weapons they’re carrying. Green are the weakest, yellow are a bit tougher and wield two guns, and red are the toughest and carry Skynet Assault Cannons; however, I found all of the T-900s to be surprisingly tough to put down, even with the game’s stronger weapons, and they’re quite resistant to small-arms fire and even explosives. The F/K series is comprised of small, medium, and larger aircrafts and tanks not unlike the more traditional Hunter-Killer/HK machines seen in the first two Terminator movies; while your faster or more powerful weapons are your best bet to destroy these, you might want to make use of nearby turrets for the larger variants. Skynet also employs turrets, both on the ground and on the ceiling, spider-like rovers, and you’ll encounter the larger tanks seen in the movie while in Cyber Research labs. At one point, you’ll be mowing down Resistance forces, who are much easier to kill than their mechanical enemies and, when you initially travel to the past, you’ll also have to fend off local police and Special Weapons and Tactics (S.W.A.T.) officers. These guys wield pistols, shotguns, and machine guns and, if you shoot at them too much and kill even one, the mission is over. Similarly, if they kill either John or Kate, the mission also fails so you need to be sure only to injure them enough for them to surrender or run away and blow up their vehicles to cause them to scatter.
The game’s handful of bosses are limited to this awkward brawling gameplay.
Boss battles are disappointingly limited in Terminator 3; F/K machines are often positioned as mini bosses, of sorts, requiring you to take out Skynet’s larger aircraft, tanks, and transports using heavier machinery or a nearby turret, but you won’t be taking on a gigantic HK tank or aircraft like in other Terminator games. Hell, even the Time Displacement Chamber is protected only by Skynet’s standard forces rather than an actual defensive grid, meaning you generally have to settle for eliminating the same enemies over and over until the mission ends. When you do get to a legitimate boss battle, the game switches to its clunky and unfulfilling 2.5D combat perspective and forces you to engage in an awkward fist fight; the first time you do this, it’s against a fellow infiltrator unit that demonstrates the same limited attacks as you. It’ll block, throw kicks and punches at you, and toss you about with various slams, all while taking on battle damage as you whittle down its health bar. It’s not until about eight missions later that you get to face another boss in a similar fashion, and this is the first of four encounters with the T-X. Each one takes place in a different area and the T-X gains additional attacks in each encounter and is even reduced to its endoskeleton in the final battle at Crystal Peak. The T-X is easily the toughest foe in the game; faster and with more diverse attacks than you, it’s easy to get caught in a combo as she kicks, punches, and slams you through walls. The T-X can perform spinning kicks, slam you off the environment, fire an energy blast, stomp your face into the ground, send a shock through your system by piercing your head, and even blast you in the face with her flamethrower arm. However, as long as you throw your guard up and mash the attack buttons, landing throws when you can, you can triumph without too much effort, though you never get the pleasure of a satisfactory conclusion as all of these encounters end with the two clumsily locked in a grapple while the game loads the next cutscene or oddly placed movie clip.
Power-Ups and Bonuses: Terminator 3 is an FPS title, so naturally there’s a fair amount to pick up and use in the game. You can carry multiple weapons at once, though there’s no option to dual-wield any of them and there’s a long and annoying delay when switching weapons. The Terminator can fight with its bare hands, but that’s not really recommended, and has access to a variety of explosive projectiles, including grenades, C4, and even its own hydrogen fuel cell that is often used to open up new paths. There are nineteen weapons on offer here, with different weapons being used in the past and the future (eight in the past and eleven in the future), and you should recognise some of them from the films. You’ve got a pump-action shotgun, a gas powered grenade launcher, and a mini gun, just like in the second film, but also a rocket launcher and .30 cal machine gun as in Terminator 3. The best and flashiest weapons are in the Future War sections, where you wield phase plasma rifles, lightning guns, electromagnetic pulse weapons, mini rocket launchers, and the Skynet Assault Cannon. Unfortunately, none of the weapons really impressed me; there’s a wide variety but none of them have any real “kick” to them. Many feel next to useless, have long reload times, or carry limited ammunition, though it is fun discovering secondary fire functions, such as charged or electrical projectiles. Naturally, you can also find ammo boxes strewn around the environment and enemies will drop weapons and ammo; fuel cells will also replenish your health and you can even find extra continues here and there, though I’m not sure of their use as the game simply forces you to restart a mission upon failure so these seem redundant to me.
Additional Features: As you complete Terminator 3’s missions, you’ll unlock a number of items in game’s ‘Special Features’ menu; these include concept art, movie scenes, CG cutscenes, movie clips, and behind the scenes videos. None of it is all that interesting, especially if you’ve watched the behind the scenes features of the movie, but it’s nice to see your efforts rewarded at the end of every mission. While exploration generally leads you to ammo or health, there are two classic Atari arcade cabinets to find throughout the game, Missile Command (Atari, 1980) and Centipede (ibid, 1981), which you can then play at any time in the Special Features. Terminator 3 has three difficulty settings (Easy, Normal, and Hard), with the strength and accuracy of the game’s enemies increasing on higher difficulties, but it doesn’t seem as though the game’s unlockables are tied to the harder difficulty modes. Once you finish the game, you can replay any mission, though there’s not much incentive for this unless you missed one of those arcade games or want to beat it on a higher difficulty. There’s no multiplayer component here either, though you can make use of some super helpful cheat codes to grant yourself invincibility, infinite ammo, all weapons, and to unlock all missions, among other bonuses.
The Summary: Expectations are always low for videogame adaptations of movies, and the Terminator franchise has struggled a little when it comes to being translated into a gaming experience, but Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ended up being a strictly mediocre time. In some areas, it performs surprisingly well; having Arnold’s voice and likeness ends a level of legitimacy to the game, as does the Terminator theme and some surprisingly detailed recreations of locations and environments from the movie, but all the presentation in the world means nothing if the gameplay isn’t compelling. This is where Terminator 3 falters; it’s little more than a bog-standard FPS title with the Terminator branding slapped onto it; there are certainly better FPS titles on the PlayStation 2, and even on prior console generations, so there’s not much incentive to play Terminator 3 over one of those. The implementation of brawling sections is certainly ambitious, but the execution is clunky and unfulfilling. Similarly, the decision to focus most of the game on Future War sections rather than the events of the film results in a very rushed presentation near the end; missions in the past are ridiculously short, the use of movie clips to skip over the story smacks of laziness, and the lack of interesting machines to fight or bosses to battle really hurts the game’s replayability. In the end, if I’m being fair, it’s certainly not the worst game out there but the ingredients were there for a slightly more enjoyable time and this just ended up phoning it in way too much for me to really recommend it.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
Have you ever played Terminator3: Rise of the Machines? If so, did you enjoy it? Which of the game’s weapons was your favourite? Did you enjoy that most of the game was set in the Future War or were you annoyed that it didn’t more directly adapt the events of the movie? Were you disappointed by the lack of bosses and what did you think to the combat sections? Did Arnold Schwarzenegger’s likeness help sell you on this game and, if not, what is your favourite Terminator videogame? How are you celebrating Judgement Day later this month and which Terminator movie is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on Terminator3, and the Terminator franchise, feel free to leave a reply down below or drop a comment on my social media.
Season One, Episode One: “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”
Air Date: 13 August 1997 Director: Trey Parker UK Network: Channel 4 OriginalNetwork: Comedy Central Stars: Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Mary Kay Bergman, Franchesca Clifford, and Isaac Hayes
The Background: In 1992, Matt Stone and Trey Parker took some glue, construction paper, and an old 8 mm film camera and created The Spirit of Christmas, a short animated film in which four young boys accidentally bring to life a killer snowman. A Fox Broadcasting Company executive then commissioned the duo to create a follow-up short, Jesus vs. Santa, in 1995, which quickly became one of the first viral videos and led to the commission of a full series. Allegedly produced on a budget of $300,000, “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” was a laborious process for the duo, who used the same traditional stop-motion techniques as their earlier shorts to bring their vulgar humour to life. The episode took about three months to complete, and about ten minutes of the story ended up being cut, and received poor results from test audiences. Comedy Central took a chance on the concept, however, based on the previous shorts and the duo’s previous shorts, and “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” was heralded as a huge successdespite complaints over its toilet humour and crass content. Since then, the hand-animated techniques have given way to computer animation that replicates the construction paper aesthetic of the duo’s early work, and South Park has become a popular and successful cultural phenomenon, with the creators now able to produce episodes within just a few days to stay on the pulse of current events.
The Plot: While hanging out at the bus stop before school, Eric Cartman (Parker) tells his friends about a nightmare he had about being abducted by aliens. Although reluctant to believe the incident actually happened, he begins sprouting an extraterrestrial probe from his anus, sending his friends into a panic when Kyle Broflovski’s (Stone) brother, Ike (Clifford), is abducted by alien Visitors (Parker).
The Review: South Park made an impression right from the start with its mock advisory warning at the start of each episode and jaunty little opening theme song; I especially enjoyed how the show would eventually change up the intro, adding new characters and updating the animation techniques and even aging up and altering some of the characters (even if you couldn’t always tell on sight alone). The episode proper opens with our four main characters – “big boned” foul mouth Eric Cartman, Jewish Kyle Broflovski, troubled everyman Stan Marsh (Parker), and poor Kenny McCormick (Stone) – happily singing at the bus stop before being interrupted by Kyle’s oddly shaped baby brother, Ike. This evidently isn’t the first time Ike has followed Kyle to the bus stop, so he’s pretty annoyed at his persistence; so much so that Kyle swiftly sends his brother packing with a good ol’ kick up the ass! Right away, the four kids stand out; they each look and sound different, with Cartman being the most vulgar (referring to Ike as a “dildo” despite not actually knowing what that is) and Kenny’s voice and face being constantly obscured by his trademark orange parka. While Cartman might not know what a dildo is, Kenny does; in fact, Kenny would go on to exhibit a working knowledge of such sexual topics far beyond his years, even if we never clearly hear what he says, though Kyle’s habit of playing “Kick the Baby” would largely be forgotten following this. Cartman is feeling the effects of a lack of sleep, brought about by a terrible nightmare where he was abducted by aliens the kids dub “Visitors”. He dreamt that the grey-skins took him up to their spacecraft and conducted bizarre, invasive experiments on his rectum. Although Cartman is insistent that the whole thing was a terrible dream (after all, his mum did say so), Kyle and Stan insist that he had an actual encounter with alien lifeforms, who have been known to abduct people and mutilate cows.
Cartman refuses to believe he’s been fitted with an anal probe, even after Ike is adducted and Kenny is killed.
While Cartman nervously laughs this off as them attempting to scare him, he’s stunned when their friend and school cook, Jerome “Chef” McElroy (Hayes), drives past and gives a picture-perfect description of the aliens Cartman saw in his “dream” and describes, in disturbing detail, the anal probes they like to forcibly insert into their victims. Thanks to his friends constantly ragging on him about it, Cartman stubbornly refuses to believe that aliens are real (even when he starts literally farting flames from his ass!) so, when Kyle is thrown into despair when he sees Ike being abducted by two Visitors, he receives little sympathy from his friend and even less from the cantankerous school bus driver, Veronica Crabtree (Bergman). While the town’s then-sole police officer, Officer Barbrady (Parker), turns a blind eye to the rampant mutilation of cows, reports of unidentified flying objects (UFOs), and military vehicles being spotted all over town (completely missing a Visitor luring a whole herd of cows away right before his eyes), Kyle is stuck enduring his school day, terrified for his brother and the fate that awaits him when his father (as opposed to this overbearing mother, Sheila (Bergman)), finds out that he (as in Kyle) didn’t look after Ike. Unfortunately for the young Jew, his teacher, Herbert Garrison (Parker), refuses to excuse Kyle from class even when he politely asks Mr. Garrison’s puppet companion, Mr. Hat (ibid), for permission to leave. Chef initially tries to cheer Kyle up with a song about making love, but flies into action when he learns of Ike’s abduction and pulls the fire alarm so the boys can get out of school. This reaction is motivated by his assumed knowledge of the Visitors and also a strange mechanical device that spontaneously emerges from Cartman’s flaming ass and suggests that the aliens are trying to communicate. Cartman remains adamant that this is all part of an elaborate prank by his friends, even when a signal from the alien spacecraft causes him to suddenly break into a cheery rendition of “I Love to Singa”. Kyle, however, lets his anger get the better of him and demands (by screaming down Cartman’s ear) that the aliens return his little brother; consequently, a UFO hovers down and blasts at them when Kyle defiantly throws a rock at their ship. The projectile sends Kenny flying right into the path of a stampede of terrified cows, but it’s Officer Barbrady’s car that finally does in the muffled youth.
It turns out the Visitors simply wanted to make peace with Earth’s bovine population….
Despite this, Cartman remains unconvinced; he even refuses to believe that Kenny’s actually dead (even when Kyle pulls the boy’s head off and rats start eating his corpse) and storms off home to his mother, Liane (Bergman), and the delights of a “chocolate chicken pot pie” and Cheesy Poofs. Although Kyle pleads with Stan to help him out, Stan has problems of his own; he’s been invited to meet his crush, Wendy Testaburger (Bergman), at Stark’s Pond after school but he’s so besotted with and nervous around her that he can’t help but explosively vomit whenever she speaks to him. Kyle begrudgingly accompanies him and ends up interrupting their date when Wendy is enthralled by his story of alien abduction; much to Stan’s dismay, they end up going to get Cartman to use him as bait to lure out the Visitors rather than making “sweet love” as Chef encouraged. Cartman thus ends up tied to a tree in the middle of a forest and encouraged to keep farting until a massive alien satellite dish emerges from his ass and signals the Visitors. Kyle delivers an impassioned plea to the Visitors to return Ike, having learned that he really values the little squirt, but, when they completely ignore his appeal, he flies into a foul-mouthed rant that finally sees Ike released from their ship. The Visitors then reveal their true intentions for coming to Earth were to make contact with the cows, whom they have determined are “the most wise and intelligent” species on the planet and that their mutilation was all a mistake on the part of a severely apologetic Visitor named Carl. After leaving the cows with a special device that allows them to compel people to break into song and dance, the aliens leave, taking Cartman with them. The next day, Cartman is unceremoniously dumped back to Earth at the bus stop, where his friends are waiting, suffering from a bout of pinkeye and continuing to deny that the Visitors were real, or that he was ever abused by their unusual experiments.
The Summary: I’ve been a huge fan of South Park since it first aired; I can’t really remember how we first came to learn from it, but it must’ve been from TV spot and adverts for its impending debut on late-night TV over here. Interestingly enough, “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” somehow wasn’t the first episode of the show I saw; instead, it was “An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig” (Parker, 1997). Quite how I missed the first four episodes of this massive cultural phenomenon are beyond me, but I was a kid at the time so probably distracted by videogames and hormones. Regardless, as a big fan of The Simpsons (1989 to present) and Beavis and Butt-Head (1993 to 1997; 2011), I was enamoured by this crude cartoon with its vulgar content, hilarious use of censored swear words, and surreal concepts but, as I revisit the series from the very start, it’s hard to deny that this first episode is a little rough around the edges. Obviously this applies to the animation style, which is very jerky and lacks the polish of later (and more recent) episodes, but it also applies to the voice acting and characterisation, though I can accept all of this as it was a pilot episode meant to kick-start the series and pretty much all of these issues were addressed throughout the first season and beyond. I’ve always found South Park’s crude presentation part of its appeal; there’s something inherently amusing to see these characters awkwardly shuffle about the place, seeing the UFO’s shadow against the background, and Ike’s oddly-shaped head flapping about this place (this was, of course, long before it was revealed that Ike was Canadian). There’s a clear amount of effort put into bringing this episode to life using these laborious methods and, while the characterisations aren’t quite as we know them now and many of the voices aren’t quite as refined, the core elements that would dictate the course of the next few seasons and later be so cleverly subverted are all here. One of the most obvious examples of this is Liane Cartman; while she’s clearly an enabler and an overly doting mother as she would be characterised as later in the show, she has a little more backbone here as she not only lets in Cartman’s friends after he explicitly tells her not to but also snaps at him to not “be difficult” when he initially refuses to indulge their alien fantasies.
While the show would outgrow some of its gags, many of this episodes jokes set the tone for the first series.
“Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” also introduces us to just how wacky South Park’s inhabitants can be; Mr. Garrison is clearly unstable, banging on about how Christopher Columbus was the “Indian’s” best friend and discovered France and projecting a far more sinister persona through his puppet, and Chef is constantly breaking into song and asides about sex. One of the most amusing aspects of this episode for me is Ms. Crabtree’s selective deafness; this means that when the boys mutter insults at her, they have to come up with amusing soundalikes like “rabbit’s eat lettuce” to throw her off. Equally amusing is the subplot involving Officer Barbrady’s attempts to round up the missing cows; Barbrady would sadly be pushed to the side as South Park expanded and progressed, but I always enjoyed his cluelessness and it always cracks me up seeing the cows lining up to escape town on a train and the conductor (Stone) warning them not to use their “cow hypnosis” on him. Of course, a recurring theme in this episode is Cartman’s adamant refusal that he’s been abducted and experimented on by aliens; even when he sees a crop circle in his image, he dismisses it as being Tom Selleck rather than him, which is just scratching the surface of how toxic and stubborn the little psycho would become. Kyle and Stan have always been largely interchangeable characters but there’s enough to make them stand out; from Kyle’s concerns for his brother (a focal point of the episode) to Stan’s crippling vomiting whenever Wendy is around, the boys certainly do have a lot to deal with even when aliens aren’t invading their town. While Kenny is the least developed of the four, he still stands out since you can’t hear anything he says, he’s got a hell of a dirty mind, and he’s left dead before the episode’s end. Overall, “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” is a fun first outing for the crassest mountain town on television; while it’s rough around the edges and subsequent episodes in even the first season are stronger in terms of jokes, presentation, and narrative, this first episode still makes an impression and, if anything, is refreshing to revisit since it’s before the cast ballooned out and the scope of the show started to focus more on political and social commentary.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Did you enjoy “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe”? What did you think to it, and South Park in general, when it first aired? Which of the four main characters is your favourite and why? Do you prefer the cruder animation on show here? Would you like to see some of the elements introduced here return to the show? What are some of your favourite characters, episodes, and moments from South Park? How are you celebrating South Park’s anniversary this year? No matter what your thoughts on South Park, I’d love to hear from you so feel free to drop your comments below or leave a reply on my social media.
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