adaptation

Screen Time: Agatha All Along

Dr. K1 Comment

Air Date: 18 September 2024 to 30 October 2024
Network: Disney+
Stars: Kathryn Hahn, Joe Locke, Aubrey Plaza, Debra Jo Rupp, Sasheer Zamata, Ali Ahn, and Patti LuPone

The Background:
Created by the legendary writer/artist duo of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, aged witch Agatha Harkness first appeared in Marvel Comics back in 1970 and has been at the forefront of many magical adventures, tutoring Wanda Maximoff/The Scarlet Witch and often associated with the mystical Darkhold tome. After becoming an unprecedented cinematic success, the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) expanded into television ventures through the Disney+ streaming service. WandaVision (Shakman, 2021) was one of their first and most successful efforts for its exploration of Wanda’s (Elizabeth Olsen) fractured mental state and fun exploration of television eras. The miniseries also introduced Katherine Hahn as a radically different version of Agatha Harkness, one who became a breakout character thanks to her catchy theme song. After WandaVision head writer Jac Schaeffer signed a three-year television deal, he repeatedly suggested Agatha in his pitches, prompting MCU head honcho Kevin Feige to sign off on a dark comedy Agatha-centric spin-off that was to be the second part of a loosely connected trilogy. Initially titled Agatha: House of Harkness, the show underwent numerous title changes before eventually settling on Agatha All Along as a metatextual joke. A team of writers were assembled to offer further insight into Agatha’s character, casting her as a manipulative anti-hero through whom they could further satirise television genres and expand upon the supernatural aspects of the MCU by drawing from popular culture. With many effects realised through practical means and boasting another popular earworm, Agatha All Along sparked much debate over its inclusion of Lady Death and bringing back actors from WandaVision. Agatha All Along attracted 9.3 million global views in its first week and was widely regarded as one of the better MCU streaming shows. Reviews praised the focus on character relationships, Agatha’s theatrical (yet nuanced) performance, and its depiction of queer characters. While some criticised the show’s repetitive formula and bloated premise, the overall reception was very positive and Hahn was enthusiastic about reprising her role in future MCU projects.

The Plot:
Three years after being trapped by a spell, witch Agatha Harkness (Hahn) escapes and travels the mythical “Witches’ Road” to regain her powers alongside a new coven of witches.

The Review:
Much like WandaVision, Agatha All Along begins in something of a fantasy world, with Agatha living a crime drama fantasy as “Detective Agnes O’Connor” that the residents of Westview tolerate and even encourage to keep her placated. While Agnes of Westview only lasts for the first episode, “Seekest Thou the Road” (Schaeffer, 2024), the spirit of WandaVision is further evoked when Agatha and her coven journey across the Witches’ Road and revisit the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, dressing accordingly and even dealing with supernatural elements not dissimilar from The Exorcist (Friedkin, 1973) and Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead films (1981 to 1992). Enchanted by Wanda as recompense for her heinous actions, Agatha spends three years believing herself to be a tough, no-nonsense Westview detective called to solve a murder frustrated by Federal Agent Rio Vidal (Plaza). While Agnes begrudgingly shares her theories with Vidal, the agent appears coy, questioning her lifestyle choices and her ties to Westview, adding to Agnes’s frustration and unease. This is only exacerbated when Agnes almost pieces together that the victim’s book was the Darkhold, a mythical tome that corrupts anyone it touches. When questioned by Vidal over pizza and beer, Agnes as a mind blank regarding her life outside of Westview and cannot remember why she hates Vidal beyond Agnes being naturally abrasive. After apprehending a teenage thief (Locke) who breaks into her house searching for the “Road” and unnerves Agnes with an incantation, Agnes’s true memories finally return (with some prodding by the mysterious Vidal). Incensed that Wanda has taken her powers, Agatha scuffles with Vidal, seemingly a fellow witch who begrudgingly allows Agatha to regain her full strength for a more competitive battle but alerts the venge-seeking “Salem Seven” to Agatha’s location.

After a lifetime of killing witches, Agatha forms a new coven to travel the Witches’ Road.

Though initially dismissive of “Teen” (whom she comes to regard as a “pet”), Agatha’s intrigued when she cannot learn his name or anything about him due to a “glamour” cast by a magical sigil. Impressed that Teen broke the Scarlet Witch’s curse, Agatha uses him as a chauffeur and he enthusiastically joins her in recruiting a new coven to walk the Witches’ Road, a legendary pilgrimage that promises power to those who overcome its trials. Agatha All Along reveals that Agatha has a horrendous reputation as a witch killer not just because she sacrificed her coven and mother, Evanora (Kate Forbes), but also because she actively murdered her fellow witches alongside her reluctant son, Nicholas Scratch (Abel Lysenk). “Maiden Mother Crone” (Monteiro, 2024) reveals that Agatha provoked other witches into attacking her, allowing her to drain their magic and lifeforce, and the miniseries repeatedly states that Agatha is largely responsible for the negative reputation associated with witches, who were generally kind and compassionate before Agatha inspired lynch mobs to hunt them down. Consequently, Agatha encounters resistance when recruiting her coven, with Lilia Calderu (LuPone), Jennifer “Jen” Kale (Zamata), and Alice Wu-Gulliver (Ahn) only signing up because they’ve also lost their powers or become shells of their former selves. While Teen is very supportive of Agatha and enthusiastic about the quest, the others are sceptical, unified only by their mutual dislike of Agatha and their desire to regain their powers. Since Agatha claims to have walked the Witches’ Road before, they’re forced to defer to her experience, only to find her reluctant to participate in many of the trials and constantly withholding key information from them, leading either to their deaths or dissension as the journey becomes more perilous. Indeed, Agatha knows far more than she’s letting on, constantly manipulating events to suit her grander plan, though she does become very protective of Teen, primarily because he reminds her of her lost son.

While the Witches’ Road spells doom for the coven, they briefly benefit from their time with Agatha.

While Lilia has no interest in joining the coven and is content as a fortune teller, Jen runs a successful (if dubious) skin care business, and Alice is perfectly happy believing the Witches’ Road is merely a fairytale that made her mother (Elizabeth Anweis) a rock star and led to her death, the three begrudgingly join the coven to regain their magic and out of curiosity regarding the Road. Each is chosen according to the legendary “Ballad of the Witches’ Road”, which calls for witches proficient in different magics, and each has their craft testing by the Road. Jen, who was accidentally bound by Agatha a hundred years ago, is pushed to cobble together an antidote in “Through Many Miles / Of Tricks and Trials” (Goldberg, 2024) and even saves Teen’s life after he’s injured conjuring the winged demon that’s cursed Alice’s bloodline. Alice learns that her mother performed “The “Ballad of the Witches’ Road” to protect her from this curse and gets to put it to rest before unexpectedly dying trying to save Agatha. Equally, the Road gives Lilia the chance to finally feel a sense of belonging after being left despondent at failing to save her previous coven with her clairvoyancy, which sees her experience time in a non-linear way and therefore appear crazy. The one outlier is Agatha’s kindly neighbour, Sharon Davis (Rupp), returning from WandaVision, who’s duped into joining the coven and dies during their first trial since they’re too busy squabbling to work together. She’s replaced by Vidal, an unpredictable and sadistic green witch who refuses to elaborate on her true relationship with Agatha, which is repeatedly depicted as frosty. Although the group are largely suspicious of each other, particularly the enthusiastic Teen and the untrustworthy Agatha, they soon bond, sharing stories of their personal tragedies and regrets, resulting in Jen being distraught when Lilia sacrifices herself in “Death’s Hand in Mine” (Schaeffer, 2024).

Initially supportive of Agatha and enduring the Road’s trials, Teen’s true power comes to the forefront.

Much of the miniseries revolves around the mystery of Teen, a talented but inexperienced witchling who carries a pocketbook of spells and is eager to travel the Road to gain ultimate power. Agatha is intrigued by his true nature and becomes very attached to him, pleading with Jen to save him in “If I Can’t Reach You / Let My Song Teach You” (Goldberg, 2024), but ultimately unable to deny her selfish nature. Like Agatha, Teen gets a spotlight episode in “Familiar by Thy Side” (Monteiro, 2024) that reveals he’s more than just a familiar face from WandaVision. Originally William Kaplan, Teen died in a car crash caused by Wanda’s Westview Hex and was possessed by the soul of her son, Billy. However, Kaplan awoke with amnesia and to find he could read minds, finding only worry in the heads of his parents (Maria Dizzia and Paul Adelstein) and living the next six years with no idea of who he really was. Supported by his boyfriend, Eddie (Miles Gutierrez-Riley), Kaplan meets with traumatised former Westview resident Ralph Bohner (Evan Peters) and learns of Wanda, her kids, and Agatha, realising what happened and believing that the Witches’ Road could lead him to his twin brother, Tommy (Jett Klyne). Thus, Teen breaks into Agatha’s house where she was living out her cop drama fantasy and deceives her into letting him tag along, unaware that she suspected his true identity when the Witches’ Road turned out to be real and not a con she’d made up. Though protected by Lilia’s sigil, Teen’s powers are unstable, manifesting when his emotions are at their peak, yet Agatha sees the potential in him to wield the same destructive powers as his mother. While Teen comes to resent and reject Agatha, refusing to trust her and renouncing the Witches’ Road, her tutelage allows him to locate Tommy’s soul and bind it to a dying boy, resurrecting him somewhere in the world. Teen also embraces his dual identity and even receives a glow up in “Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End” (Monteiro, 2024), wearing a variation of his Wiccan costume and coming to Agatha’s aid against Death.

Death easily eclipses the forgettable Salem Seven with her alluring and psychotic charisma.

While Agatha is pursued by the twisted, malformed Salem Seven throughout the miniseries, they’re a minor nuisance, at best. A monstrous hive mind comprised of the children of Agatha’s first coven, they occasionally accost the group across the Witches’ Road before being killed by Liana’s sacrifice. The Witches’ Road also causes the coven a lot of grief, forcing them to complete trials based around dubious riddles, which sees them cobbling together an antidote, summoning and destroying the demon plaguing Alice, and battling the spirit of Agatha’s vengeful mother, who possesses Agatha and encourages the coven to leave her deceitful ass behind. Despite her faults, the coven sticks by Agatha to see the journey through, only for her villainous behaviour to repeatedly bite them since she can’t help but be selfish and abrasive. Liana’s tarot reading reveals that Vidal is actually the personification of death, who’s depicted as a terrifying figure with a job to do. Having had a past sexual relationship with Agatha, Death is more compassionate towards her than others, “gifting” Agatha six years with her son and demanding Billy’s life in exchange for Agatha’s as he’s an insult to the natural order. Though Agatha initially delivers on this promise, she’s convinced to sacrifice herself since Billy reminds her of her son and dies protecting him, knowing her spirit would return. In truth, the true enemy in Agatha All Along is Agatha herself as she spent centuries draining the magic and life from her fellow witches, deceiving them with stories of the Witches’ Road only to dupe them into attacking her. When the Witches’ Road suddenly became real thanks to Billy’s unpredictable magic and vivid imagination, Agatha adapted and fostered the myth, manipulating events to gain the power she so lusted after. However, Agatha’s horrified when Billy tries to banish her to the afterlife since she cannot face her son and, somewhat remorseful for her past deeds, agrees to help him find Tommy as promised.

The Summary:
Agatha All Along acts as the perfect companion to WandaVision and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Raimi, 2022), being coy about Wanda’s fate and showing the effect her actions had on others. Indeed, Westview remains fearful of the Scarlet Witch, choosing not to say her name or interfere with Agatha’s eccentricities since they all suffered greatly at both their hands. Ralph is especially scarred by his time as Agatha’s puppet, reduced to a paranoid hermit who sells tales of his experiences to Reddit users. While Teen never regains William’s memories and largely puts on a front to keep his parents from worrying about him, he also doesn’t acknowledge Wanda as his mother and is simply looking to discover who he is. That Teen is a queer character with a clear goth fixation only adds to this, painting him as an outcast in his own skin who’s just trying to belong. Teen believes that reuniting with Tommy will fill the void in his life but, while he’s elated to locate Tommy’s soul, he’s torn at having to nudge Tommy into the body of a recently drowned boy. Indeed, Billy is horrified to learn that he subconsciously created the Witches’ Road, making him responsible for Alice, Liana, and Sharon’s deaths. Agatha tries to alleviate his guilt by stating that she was going to kill them anyway and pointing out that he technically saved Jen, who regains her magic and confidence and flies off to an uncertain future, but it’s the search for Tommy that really gives Billy a sense of focus by the end. Though he’s the son of her enemy, Teen has a significant impact on Agatha as she sees him as a surrogate son and she repeatedly keeps him out of harm’s way across the Road. While this is for her own selfish ends, she goes out of her way to help him in “Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End” and ultimately choses to die in his place after initially being happy to hand him over to Death.

Travelling the Witches’ Road is perilous but nonetheless brings the coven together in entertaining ways.

I was happy to see Agatha All Along lean into the horror genre, presenting a unique take on witches (that they’re naturally kind-hearted and only have a bad reputation because of Agatha) and finally bringing Lady Death into the MCU, casting her as a necessary companion to those who have passed, a spurned lover, and a sadistic psychopath. The clear influence of classic horror films is felt throughout the miniseries, with possessed characters bending, contorting, and scurrying in unnatural ways, the coven messing around with a Ouija board, and introducing ghosts to the MCU. The miniseries also draws upon fairy tales and classic cinema, which subconsciously influence Billy’s interpretation of the Witches’ Road, and tells a heart-warming story of these down-and-out misfits coming together for a common cause. Each of the coven has been wronged by Agatha, either directly or indirectly, and each is looking to gain something from the Road. Poor Sharon is the exception, whisked along with the promise of adventure and being poisoned and constantly dismissed by Agatha after her death. While Alice also ends up dead, she dies protecting someone and finally exorcises her literal demons, though she’s initially dismayed at not getting to live free from the curse. Jen and Liana greatly benefit from the pilgrimage, finally regaining their confidence and their abilities, with Liana finally feeling like she belongs after being alone for so long. Each has heard of the Witches’ Road thanks not just to Alice’s mother’s popular song but the story being popular among the witch community, and each finds themselves tested by the increasingly dangerous and obtuse trials presented to them. The Witches’ Road is a perilous place that constantly pushes the coven onwards and shows them their worst fears, forcing Agatha to be confronted by her past misdeeds and exposing her deceitful nature for all to see.

Scheming, deceitful Agatha seemingly seeks atonement by the conclusion of this enjoyable miniseries.

Katherine Hahn stole the show as Agatha, being just the right level of theatrical and dramatic and slowly depicting Agatha’s desperation manifest in aggression and spite as the miniseries progressed. A despicable, selfish character, Agatha seeks only more power and relishes stealing from others, leading them on with stories of the Witches’ Road and caring little for integrating into the witch community (or any society). It’s not made clear why she’s driven to kill, but she doesn’t stop, even when raising Nicholas, and seemingly turns her grief against her kind after he’s taken from her. Bitter and twisted, she’s perfectly happy to manipulate anyone she can and easily adapts to any situation to turn it to her advantage, encouraging stories about her and flaunting her feared reputation. Agatha All Along avoids descending into a big CGI light show battle, emphasising the futility of fighting Death, and instead hinges its confrontations and finale on interpersonal drama and overcoming physical and emotional challenges. The visual identity of the miniseries was captivating, fully committing to its horror aspects and presenting a twisted forest full of dangers and surprises. I liked that the witches couldn’t use their magic and had to come up with different ways to pass their trials, and that Agatha was forced to manipulate events when Billy conjured the Witches’ Road. Even dying was part of her plan, with her continuing on as a spirit and seemingly committed to atoning for (some of) her past by guiding Billy to Tommy and even honouring her coven. It was fun spotting all the references to classic horror films, and enjoying the different variations of “The Ballad of the Witches’ Road”, and learning more about how witches function in the MCU. The miniseries shines most in the way the characters interact, begrudgingly forming a coven and learning to work together and care for each, bickering the entire time and bringing a lot of energy to the show. I’m interested to see what’s next for Agatha and Billy and how this all pays off in the wider picture of the MCU, but I’d be more than happy to see future miniseries for both and in this world going forward.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Agatha All Along? What did you think of Katherine Hahn’s performance and the additional lore afforded to Agatha? Which of the coven was your favourite and did you guess that there was more to Teen and Vidal? What did you think of the Witches’ Road and the way Agatha fostered the legend for her own ends? Were you disappointed that there wasn’t a more spectacular fight between Agatha and Death? Would you like to see more from these characters, and are there any specific Agatha Harkness stories and moments you’d like to see in the future? Whatever your thoughts on Agatha All Along, leave them below, check out my other Marvell content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more reviews like this.

Movie Night: Hellboy: Director’s Cut

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 19 October 2004
Originally Released: 2 April 2004
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Distributor: Columbia Pictures / Revolution Studios[
Budget: $60 to 66 million
Stars: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones/David Hyde Pierce, Rupert Evans, Karel Roden, and John Hurt

The Plot:
Raised by the kindle Professor Trevor Bruttenholm/Broom (Hurt) to be a paranormal investigator, unruly half-man, half-demon Hellboy (Perlman) finds his dramatic life upended when immortal warlock Grigori Rasputin (Roden) conspires to bring about the apocalypse.

The Background:
After years of bringing his trademark dark, moody art style to both independent and mainstream comics, monster-loving artist and comic creator Mike Mignola got his big break in 1993 with Hellboy, a character he evolved over time into distinctively Lovecraftian comics and spin-offs. Long-time fan and celebrated auteur Guillermo del Toro campaigned for years to bring the character to the big-screen with Ron Perlman in the role, forming a close relationship with Mignola when the artist consulted on Blade II (del Toro, 2002), with production finally starting after that film’s critical and commercial success. Largely inspired by Hellboy’s debut story, del Toro tweaked both his origin and characterisation to focus on Hellboy being torn between right and wrong and add a tragic romanticism to his character. Jake Garber brought Hellboy to life with some impressive make-up and prosthetics, which required Perlman to spend at least four hours getting kitted out, while Rick Baker designed his prosthetic stone hand and the CGI was handled by Tippett Studios. David Hyde Pierce provided the voice of Abe Sapien but refused to take credit or be associated with the marketing out of respect for Doug Jones’s physical work while Spectral Motion handled the many practical effects used to bring Mignola’s distinctive art to life. Though it attracted criticism for its controversial title its $99.8 million gross made it a box office bomb, Hellboy became an instant cult classic. Reviews praised the fun action, horror-adjacent visuals, and Perlman’s engaging performance, while criticising some of the characterisations. This Director’s Cut released to home media the same year, offering a little over ten minutes of additional footage, a critically and commercially successful sequel followed four years later, but plans for further entries stalled and, much to the dismay of many, led to some comparatively inferior reboots.

The Review:
Much like Hellboy’s first story, “Seed of Destruction” (Mignola, et al, 1993), Hellboy begins near the end of the Second World War. In fact, Hellboy quite faithfully recreates and expands upon the circumstances which led to Hellboy coming to our world, with a young Professor Broom (Kevin Trainor) joining an Army regiment to intercept a Nazi ritual off the coast of Scotland. While the Army is understandably sceptical of the “parabnormal”, Professor Broom’s fears are realised when they find zealot warlock Rasputin in the midst of merging arcane magic with the Third Reich’s advanced technology alongside his lover and devout right hand, Ilsa Haupstein (Bridget Hodson), and Adolf Hitler’s top assassin, the mute, semi-undead Karl Ruprecht Kroenen (Ladislav Beran). Although Rasputin successfully opens a portal to a nightmarish realm beyond our understanding, where the Lovecraftian terror known as the Ogdru Jahad slumber, the Allies interrupt them and successfully close the portal, seemingly killing Rasputin and Kroenen in the process. However, while the portal was open long enough to bring through a tiny demon child. Though startled by the demon’s unsettling appearance, the regiment stands down when Professor Broom proves he’s just a curious and frightened little boy and he’s soon adopted by both the troop and the “unready father”, nicknamed Hellboy and spending the next sixty years secretly working to stop supernatural threats as part of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD). While Professor Broom ages in that time, Hellboy is said to be barely out of his twenties and is presented as both an urban legend and unruly child who constantly yearns to be in the public eye, shaving his horns to “fit in” and being grounded whenever he breaks out of the BRPD’s super-secret facility.

Professor Broom despairs of his reckless son, who he sees as the saviour of humankind.

While Professor Broom is exasperated by Hellboy’s irresponsible nature, Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) director and BRPD liaison Thomas “Tom” Manning (Jeffrey Tambor) is tired of doing damage control whenever Hellboy makes headlines and eager to shut the “freak show” down. Realising that his time is running short and concerned that Rasputin and his followers are making a return, Professor Broom recruits FBI agent John Myers (Evans) to take over as Hellboy’s caretaker, confidant, and mentor, casting Myers as our audience surrogate and earning him much distrust and resentment from the unimpressed Hellboy. Presented as a cat-loving, physically imposing and nigh-superhuman figure, Hellboy is fireproof, extremely durable, and well versed in the mystic arts. While he’s a lousy shot with his massive handgun, the “Samaritan”, he loads it with special rounds and carries numerous trinkets, charms, and reliquaries to ward off curses and such. Yet, Hellboy is restless and stubborn, eager to be amongst the public and refusing backup, even from long-time allies like merman-like Abraham “Abe” Sapien (Jones/Pierce) and Agent Clay (John William Johnson), the closest he has to friends. Though deeply ashamed whenever he disappoints his father, Hellboy is snarky and constantly gives Myers a hard time for being a glorified nanny while also being recklessly confident that he can overcome any foe. To be fair, he’s usually right but Hellboy’s arrogance sees him constantly run afoul of the bestial Sammael (Brian Steele), leading to him being beaten up a fair bit, having eggs laid in his forearm, and the deaths of a BRPD squad, much to Manning’s disgust. Having known no other life than the BRPD, Hellboy sees it as “[his] job” to protect the innocent and regards any risk worthwhile to stop monsters and demons from threatening others. While he’s crushed when Abe and Clay are seriously wounded because of his actions, Hellboy lashes out at Manning and Myers, seeing them as threats to both his livelihood and his ego.

Myers makes for a dull surrogate and the chemistry between Hellboy and Liz is severely lacking.

As tough as Hellboy is, his emotions often get the better of him. Indeed, he often escapes from the BRPD to visit Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman (Blair), a troubled pyrokinetic and former BRPD agent who committing herself to an asylum. It’s obvious that Hellboy is madly in love with Liz, but he struggles to articulate these emotions and often makes a fool of himself, descending into a bitter jealousy when Myers gets close to Liz initially to convince her to return and then because he also develops feelings for her. Traumatised by her unpredictable pyrokinetic abilities, Liz chooses the discomfort and security of an asylum over the BRPD largely because it helps her control her abilities and because she wants to fit in, not be surrounded by monsters who remind her that she’s a freak. This draws her closer to the boyish, everyman Myers but she can’t help but be pulled towards Hellboy, who she largely sees as a sibling but clearly has an attraction to since he’s so devoted to her. Abe councils Hellboy, trying to help him move on and using his telepathic and empathic powers to give him advice, but Hellboy’s stubborn nature sees him desperately find the words to express his love for Liz. As awesome as Perlman’s performance is as Hellboy, Jones impresses as the unnerving Abe, who moves like liquid in water and uses his clairvoyance to offer valuable insight. Sadly, Selma Blair lets the trio down, appearing bored and delivering her lines with a distinct lack of emotion. While this does tie into her adopting a stoic guise to keep her powers under control, it makes for a distinct lack of chemistry between her and Hellboy that isn’t helped by some dodgy CGI flame effects.

Though they have their disagreements, Hellboy’s pained by his father’s death and forced to rely on others.

As far as I can tell, Myers has no comic book counterpart and sticks out like a sore thumb. Clay has far more charisma and already has a rapport with Hellboy and the others, so it would’ve been much more interesting to follow a day in his life for the first twenty minutes or so than be stuck with the forgettable Myers, who only exists to give Professor Broom someone to exposit to. As you’d expect, the late, great John Hurt excels as Hellboy’s strict, but fair, father figure. Commanding a wealth of paranormal knowledge and experience, Professor Broom is committed to protecting the world from supernatural threats and sees Hellboy not only as the bridge between the two worlds, but also as the saviour of humankind. This is why he’s so disappointed whenever Hellboy goes off half-cocked. Knowing that he hasn’t got much time left, Professor Broom works to ensure that Hellboy will be both cared for and helped stay on the straight and narrow. His fears about Rasputin again turn out to be true when the BRPD investigates the museum break in that kickstarts the plot, leading to Hellboy’s many run-ins with Sammael, Agent Clay’s ill-fated confrontation with Kroenen, and Professor Broom’s discovery of a message leading them to Moscow. Professor Broom is the. confronted by the mad mage and his clockwork assassin, afforded a brief glimpse of the apocalyptic future Hellboy is destined to bring about, but fearlessly defies Rasputin, ready to face his death. Naturally, Hellboy is devastated by his father’s murder, falling into a brief depression, but willingly joins the BRPD strike team, stomaching Manning’s antagonistic demeanour to get a chance to settle the score and surprisingly finding himself in the hostile director’s debt after finishing off Kroenen, the two developing a mutual respect that again dwarfs Myers’ inclusion.

Rasputin and his monstrous, nigh-immortal followers are fixated of ushering in the apocalypse.

As in “Seed of Destruction”, Hellboy’s primary antagonist is the mad warlock Rasputin, a mysterious and functionally immortal wizard granted incredible dark magic by the Ogdru Jahad. Using an ancient tome and bizarre Nazi science, Rasputin almost achieves his goal of unleashing the “Seven Gods of Chaos” before he’s stopped by the Allies. Death is a mere inconvenience for Rasputin, however, thanks to his eternally youthful and equally immortal followers, who return their master to life with a blood sacrifice and willingly follow him in resurrecting Sammael, a ferocious beast whom Rasputin empowers to resurrect twofold each time it falls. Eager to capture Hellboy, knowing that his stone hand is the key to unleashing the Ogdru Jahad, Rasputin keeps Hellboy occupied and drive him towards his elaborate mausoleum in Moscow to complete his ritual. Returning from death more powerful, and with more of the Ogdru Jahad’s influence in him, Rasputin is a malicious, cold-hearted villain who nonetheless shows respect towards Professor Broom and permits him a merciful death. Though Ilsa doesn’t get much to do beyond lusting after her master and following his every whim, Kroenen makes a hell of an impression with his wind-up body, deft skill with blades, and intimidating masked visage. A heavily scarified, zombie-like figure, Kroenen easily cuts down groups of armed foes (though largely bloodlessly) and seems to delight in murdering anyone who gets in his way, easily fooling the BRPD by playing dead and killing those closest to Hellboy. Hellboy primarily tussles with Sammael and its kin throughout the film, finding the creature ruthless and as pig-headed as him thanks to its supernatural ability to rapidly heal and resurrect upon death. A slobbering, voracious beast who pounces upon its prey, Sammael tears through the BRPD, injures Abe, and constantly dogs Hellboy in some fun, action-packed fights.

The Nitty-Gritty:
My knowledge and experience of Hellboy may be lacking since I mainly know him from the films, but as far as I’m aware Hellboy sticks somewhat close to the source material while also diverging in numerous ways. For starters, Hellboy is presented as an urban legend, one Manning is keen to keep under wraps, rather than being the “World’s Greatest Paranormal Investigator”. This acts as the backbone for much of the plot and Hellboy’s arc, with him eager to get into the spotlight and relishing showing off before the public. Secondly, Hellboy changes Hellboy’s relationship with Liz, giving him a long-standing crush on the apathetic pyromaniac and presenting a largely humorous side plot of him sabotaging Myers when he gets close to Liz. Ironically, Hellboy asks Myers for help in articulating his feelings and Myers reluctantly offers him advice, despite his own feelings for Liz. Ultimately, Professor Broom’s death gives Hellboy the courage to admit his devotion to Liz, understanding that his demonic visage reminds her that she’s different and she’s looking for someone who makes her feel normal, seemingly stepping aside in favour of Myers while still vowing to always be there for her. Thirdly, Hellboy places far greater emphasis on Hellboy’s relationship with Professor Broom, who was offed pretty quickly into “Seed of Destruction.” Here, we see the dynamics of the unlikely father/son relationship, with Professor Broom despairing of Hellboy’s reckless antics and this brutish demon reduced to an ashamed child whenever his father gives him a disapproving look. It’s a great twist and makes Professor Broom’s death even more of a blow since we see how close they are, best showcased when Professor Broom refuses to learn Hellboy’s true name from Rasputin since he already knows what to call him: son.

Despite some dodgy CGI, the practical effects and prosthetics are genuinely impressive throughout.

While Hellboy’s personality may be noticeably different from the source material, painting him as an arrogant and rowdy teenager who pointedly refuses help and must learn to grow up, Ron Perlman delivers a fantastic performance. He nails every nuance of Hellboy’s characterisation, which sees him be sarcastic, enraged, and lovelorn throughout the film. despite clearly being swamped by uncomfortable make-up and prosthetics, Perlman’s emotions still shine through, and I’ve always been a fan of his gravelly delivery. Hellboy looks incredible, sporting a sledgehammer-like stone fist and prehensile tail, crashing through walls and wrestling his foes into submission. While the CGI does the practical effects a disservice, making Hellboy and Sammael unfortunately cartoonish at times, the practical effects more than make up for it. Hellboy and Sammael demolish a subway station, crash through stone walls in a hidden cavern, and tear through the busy night-time streets, with Hellboy flipping a car to protect Myers and Sammael eventually being smushed by a subway train. Kroenen equally impressed in his appearances, slinging his blades around with superhuman dexterity and cutting foes down with a supernatural efficiency. When his true, gruesome form is revealed, it’s a hideous and wholly practical sight that makes me want to know more about this bizarre half-zombie. Practical effects also take centre stage when Hellboy resurrects the desiccated corpse of Ivan Kilimatovich (Unknown), a skeletal torso who guides them through Rasputin’s boobytrapped mausoleum. While many of the hazards contained within are equally practical, such as the heavy doors and crumbling bridge, much of the danger is lost when the obvious CGI rears its head, but it’s all good fun for the most part. The Director’s Cut largely splices deleted and slightly extended scenes back into the film, giving us a scene where Ilsa gifts Rasputin artificial eyes, showing Liz has a touch of OCD and adding a bit more depth to her time with Myers, but there’s nothing all that substantial added.

Hellboy ultimately rejects his demonic heritage to save the world and finally express his love for Liz.

Journeying to Moscow to avenge Professor Broom and stop Rasputin’s maniacal scheme, Hellboy buries the hatchet with Manning after they work together (somewhat) to finish off Kroenen, impaling him on spikes and trapping him under a giant gear. While all the BPRD agents who accompany them are lost to the mausoleum’s booby-traps, Liz destroys Sammael’s nest with a burst of unbridled fury. However, this leaves her and the others weakened, easily allowing Rasputin to capture them. Even Hellboy is rendered powerless by a heavy trap that can only be unlocked by saying his true name, which he’s compelled to do when Rasputin maliciously sucks out Liz’s soul. Defeated and disheartened, Hellboy reluctantly whispers his name (“Anung Un Rama”) and undergoes a horrific transformation, his horns growing out and a flaming crown appearing on his brow. He then willingly uses his stone hand to free the Ogdru Jahad from their crystalline prison and have them begin to manifest amidst a blood moon. However, just as he’s about to unlock the final seal, Hellboy’s brought to his senses by Myers, who begs him to remember his father’s teachings, leading him to break his horns and mortally wound Rasputin with them, having chosen to be a man rather than a demon. Though the Ogdru Jahad are prevented from invading, Rasputin’s death frees a spawn of theirs, the gigantic, tentacled Behemoth, that Hellboy tackles alone after make amends with Myers. Thankfully, Hellboy brought a grenade belt, which he uses to blow the beast to bloody chunks. Heartbroken by Liz’s death, Hellboy whispers a threat to those “on the other side” to let her go or face his wrath, prompting her swift resurrection and the two to finally embrace as lovers. Myers, having earned Hellboy’s trust, delivers the film’s closing narration about nature versus nurture, echoing Professor Broom’s opening narration, though Manning is left waiting impatiently to be rescued!

The Summary:
Although I had no idea who Hellboy was when I first saw this film, I was intrigued by the premise, its ludicrous main character, and the promise of a fun, action-packed supernatural adventure. Indeed, the only reason I am a fan of Hellboy is because of this movie, which is still a favourite of mine. Sure, I have some issues with Myers (he makes for a painfully bland audience surrogate), Linda Blair’s performance (if it’s meant to be this way, it really misses the mark), and some of the dodgy CGI, but the pros far outweigh the cons. Hellboy has a great tongue-in-cheek sense of humour that makes the title character a joy to watch since he’s such a smart ass doofus, while also delivering some decent action sequences that have stood the test of time thanks to top-notch practical effects. The make-up and prosthetics are fantastic, with Hellboy, Abe, and Sammael all having a very tangible and tactile quality to them. Little touches like Abe’s blinking, his malformed hands and gills, and Sammael’s bone-wrenching healing add so much life to these characters, to say nothing of how imposing and impressive Perlman appears under all that getup. Although Hellboy’s characterisation is noticeably different from the comics, it works really well in this context, giving him a meaningful and surprisingly emotional character arc as he learns to focus on the big picture and stop messing around while also accepting help from his allies. I loved his father/son relationship with Professor Broom, his dynamic with Manning, and even appreciated his devotion to Liz, despite their lack of chemistry. Mignola’s art and Lovecraftian inspirations were brought to life wonderfully here, with the Ogdru Jahad being horrifically bizarre, vivid colours popping when necessary and heavy, ominous shadows being used effectively where possible. It’s got some flaws, for sure, but Hellboy is still an extremely enjoyable romp that doesn’t really get talked about all that much these days, which is a shame as there’s a hell of a lot to like here.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Hellboy’s big-screen debut? What did you think to Ron Perlman’s performance, his appearance, and the changes made to Hellboy’s character? Did you also find Myers a dull audience surrogate and the chemistry lacking between Hellboy and Liz? Were you happy with the way the film adapted elements from the comic books? Which Hellboy adaptation is your favourite? Share your thoughts on the first Hellboy movie in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

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October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day” so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 19 December 1969
Director: Peter R. Hunt
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $7 million
Stars: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti/David de Keyser, and Ilse Steppat

The Plot:
While posing as a genealogist to uncover terrorist mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s (Savalas) mad plot to cause bacteriological warfare through brainwashed agents, British secret agent James Bond/007 (Lazenby) reluctantly romances and falls for the reckless Contessa Teresa “Tracy” di Vicenzo (Rigg).

The Background:
Created by former Navy intelligence officer Ian Fleming. MI6 super spy James Bond was famously brought to life by Sean Connery, beginning a long-running cinematic franchise. However, Connery’s decision to retire from the role sent producers Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman’s plans for the sixth 007 film out of whack as much as the ongoing rights issues regarding Blofeld and the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE). When their top choice to replace Connery, Roger Moore, became unavailable, the producers cast Australian model George Lazenby, who had little acting experience. Director Peter R. Hunt also chose to recast Blofeld with Telly Savalas, seeking a more physical presence for the villain, while Diana Rigg became the latest “Bond Girl” after producers were impressed with her work on The Avengers (1961 to 1969). Although the tabloids claimed Rigg despised Lazenby, the actor later quashed these rumours, though he did refuse to return as 007 out of fears of being typecast. Largely filmed in Switzerland, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service became as famous for its ski sequences as its tragic ending, which saw Hunt purposely wear Lazenby down to force the required emotion from him. Despite its $82 million box office being one of the highest of 1969, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service made considerably less than the previous Bond movies and critics loathed Lazenby’s portrayal and unfairly compared him to Connery. While this led to the producers desperately offering Connery an unprecedented deal to return in the following movie, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is now generally seen as an under-rated entry in the franchise, one praised for its visual beauty and stirring performances.

The Review:
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (OHMSS) features the one and only appearance of George Lazenby as the world-famous super spy. Amusingly, the film sets a tone for subsequent newcomers to the role by largely obscuring Lazenby’s features in the traditional pre-title sequence and slowly introducing his new interpretation of Bond. This is all done with a mixture of brutal action, intrigue, and tongue-in-cheek humour as Bond comments on his inability to get the girl. Once the titles are done, OHMSS apes Bond’s first appearance in these films by sitting him at a poker table and piling up the winnings with casual confidence. Once again, Bond runs into the alluring woman from the opening, whom he saved from an apparent suicide attempt, only to get the cold shoulder even after he bails her out from her poor card playing. Though she agrees to meet him in her hotel room, Bond is once again jumped from behind and gets into another fist fight. When Bond returns to his room and finds the woman, the stubborn Tracy, she denies any knowledge of his attackers and spends the night with him, only to disappear in the morning and for Bond to be coerced into a car. Thus, our introduction to this new Bond is somewhat inconsistent. On the one hand, he has the same look, penchant for cigarettes and fine dining, and card skills as his predecessor and is pretty good in a fight. On the other hand, he’s constantly being jumped at random, keeps getting the brush off from Tracy (who seems to resent his interference), and has no choice but to go along when he’s kidnapped as he’s powerless to do much else. Sure, Sean Connery was in similar positions, but I think it might’ve helped if the opening established Bond was following Tracy as part of his investigation into SPECTRE.

Newcomer Lazenby is as ill-suited to the role as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary.

Bond is taken to meet Tracy’s father, Marc-Ange Draco (Ferzetti/de Keyser), a charismatic mob boss who despairs of his wayward daughter and wishes Bond to “dominate her” to set her straight, even offering him £1 million if he woos and marries her. Though he’s attracted to Tracy, Bond rejects the offer, aghast at being tied down or compromising himself, but changes his mind when Draco agrees to offer information on the whereabouts of Blofeld, SPECTRE’s elusive mastermind. Thus, Bond sets to work cooling Tracy’s cold heart but is angered when he returns to London and his cantankerous superior, “M” (Bernard Lee), relieves him of the Blofeld mission. Although ready to quit in protest, Bond’s granted two weeks leave thanks to the intervention of Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) and heads to Portugal for Draco’s birthday. There, Tracy is incensed to learn that her father is using her as a bartering tool and angrily forces Draco to give Bond the information so he won’t be obligated to waste time with her. However, this is merely a front for the feelings Tracy has developed for the suave secret agent and, having grown fond of her as well, Bond smooths things over and the two properly fall for one another. However, this romance takes a noticeable backseat when Draco points Bond to a law firm, which he swiftly breaks into to discover that Blofeld is posing as Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp and has established a restricted clinical allergy research institute in the Swiss Alps. Bringing his evidence to M, Bond is swiftly allowed to meet with and assume the identity of Sir Hilary Bray (George Baker), a genealogist who’s been asked to verify Blofeld’s ancestry. Adopting an exaggerated accent, ill-fitting clothes, and glasses, Bond is taken to Piz Gloria by Blofeld’s number two, the grim-faced but accommodating Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat), and a curious game of cat-and-mouse begins.

Womanising Bond falls for headstrong Tracy, who loses her edge after having her heart melted by 007.

Unfortunately, this is where OHMSS really falls apart for me. It’s ludicrous to think that Blofeld wouldn’t immediately recognise Bond, whose disguise is somehow worse than the Japanese cosplay he adopted in the previous film, especially after they’ve already met. It’s pretty obvious that Blofeld is aware of the deception from the start and simply plays along to prove his superiority over Bond, or perhaps because he finds it amusing, genuinely believing he has a legitimate claim to being Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp since he has (presumably forged) documentation and has cut off his ear lobes to match the Bleuchamp bloodline. While Bond is as well versed in many subjects as ever, he spends some time with Sir Hillary to learn about genealogy and mimic his mannerisms, appearing to be a meek intellectual who, while exceedingly polite, has little interest in the beautiful women being treated for allergies at Piz Gloria. However, since his disguise is little more than a pipe and a kilt, Bond naturally catches the eye of the patients, who are incredibly horny. Thus, while Bunt enforces strict rules within the clinic, both Bond and the girls sneak out for a few bunk ups, though this seems to merely be a passing distraction for Bond. It also proves to be his undoing, as Bunt surprises him and Blofeld chastises his lustful ways since it was just one of many signs that “Sir Hillary” wasn’t who he claimed to be. Bond’s far more capable when it comes to escaping Blofeld’s compound, skiing to safety only to be relentlessly hounded in Lauterbrunnen. This is when Tracy finally returns, rescuing Bond, and he spontaneously decides he’s so in love with her that he wants to marry her and give up his violent lifestyle and womanising ways.

Blofeld and his operation have undergone a significant facelift but are still bent on chaos.

After finally being revealed as a scheming, disfigured criminal mastermind in the previous film, Blofeld has spent the last two years transforming into the fetching, silver-tongued director of a special clinic for those suffering from crippling allergies. Charismatic and sophisticated, Blofeld charms his patients and commends their progress and is so confident in his allure that he even tries to seduce Tracy after kidnapping her from an avalanche. To the outside world, Blofeld is a reclusive and private individual whose clinic is so restricted that unauthorised visitors are shot at and turned away on sight. Oddly, it seems Blofeld has the perfect setup at Piz Gloria but he draws undue attention to himself by claiming to be Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp, something which has little relevance to his true, mad plot. While Blofeld has successfully cured or aided his patients’ allergies using hypnosis, he’s also been brainwashing them into being his unsuspecting “Angels of Death”, charging them with unleashing a biological agent that will render all plant and animal life impotent. Blofeld’s endgame is to hold the world to ransom, threatening famine and extinction unless he’s given amnesty for his crimes and the title of Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp. While we don’t get to see this chemical agent in action, Blofeld provides a small sample to the United Nations and keeps Bond prisoner to verify his threat, confident that his demands will be met before a cure is inevitably found. So horrifying is Blofeld’s threat that the world’s governments agree to roll over, pointedly refusing Bond’s demands to launch a strike on Piz Gloria and cut Blofeld off from commanding his Angels of Death. Thus, Bond turns to his future father-in-law, Draco, who happily agrees to lead an assault on Piz Gloria to both rescue Tracy (though their haphazard gunfire says otherwise) and stop Blofeld’s mad scheme.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve always found OHMSS to be a particularly dull Bond movie, and Lazenby’s mediocre turn as the character is only part of it. The film lacks a punchy title song, preferring excerpts of Louis Armstrong’s “We Have All the Time in the World”, a fittingly smoochy and emotional tune that hits doubly hard during the tragic finale.  Additionally, Bond noticeably lacks any fun gadgets; “Q” (Desmond Llewelyn) is merely a cameo and the best we get is a massive safe picking machine, a deconstructed sniper rifle, and a bog-standard printer/copier. I am a fan of the romance angle, though, of Bond learning there’s more to life than random hook ups and his staunch commitment to Queen and Country. However, the execution is lacking. I liked that Tracy initially appeared forthright and almost dismissive of Bond, barely caring that he was getting roughed up or giving him the time of day. However, Draco is right when he notices that Tracy “likes [him]” but is hiding behind a stubborn façade as Tracy falls for Bond like any other woman. She even acknowledges that Bond is unlikely to return those feelings, and yet helps him Lauterbrunnen and is so delighted by his proposal that she cries tears of happiness every time he’s around. The shadow of Tracy’s former, headstrong self resurfaces when she’s held captive by Blofeld as she attempts to disarm him with her beauty and even puts up a decent fight against his men, but she loses so much of her edge so quickly that it’s hard to see why Bond falls for her as she simply becomes another pretty girl who’s besotted by him. I also rate OHMSS poorly because it’s such a slog, churning along at a snail’s pace and placing so much focus on Bond’s ridiculous infiltration of Piz Gloria that wouldn’t have fooled a blind man!

A beautiful, but largely dull movie best known for its snowy locations and ski-chase sequences.

Still, there are some positives to OHMSS. The film is very beautiful, with the snowy Swiss Alps providing a gorgeous backdrop for Blofeld’s compound. While his facility isn’t as memorable as a hollowed-out volcano launch base, it is very slick and futuristic, forcing Bond to find ways to escape his confinement and brainwashing the girls to follow Blofeld’s commands. Bond gets into a lot of scuffles in OHMSS, generally emerging unscathed after summarily drowning his foes, flinging them off the Swiss Alps or tumbling into a wood chipper, and constantly lashing out to catch his capturers off-guard. Naturally, most chases occur either in the snow or down the dangerous Swiss Alps, with the finest rear projection money selling the illusion that the actors are in the thick of it. All joking aside, the skiing sequences are really fun. It is bizarre that Blofeld’s henchman can’t hit their target when there’s no cover around, but then they are rocketing down a mountain at high speed so I’ll forgive it. Seeing them careen off the side is quite harrowing, and watching Blofeld set off an avalanche to bury his hated foe made for an exciting sequence (though it’s a little unbelievable that Bond survived). There are also a couple of car chases here, but the big action set piece comes when Bond and Draco assault Blofeld’s lair. Strangely, considering how fortified the compound appears, Blofeld has no anti-aircraft guns and is initially easily deceived by Draco’s claims to be on a mercy mission. His men are thus ill-equipped against a full-scale assault, easily being gunned down and blown over balconies when Bond attacks. OHMSS utilises some impressive miniatures to showcase Piz Gloria’s destruction, though there’s a painfully noticeable delay (even by Bond movie standards) between Draco’s wristwatch, the bomb timer, and Bond and Blofeld escaping the compound before it blows.

Blofeld spitefully returns to deliver a tragic blow to Bond in the shocking finale.

Having narrowly escaped, Blofeld stumbles down the mountainside with Bond in hot pursuit. Any sense of poise, composure, and authority is evaporated once Blofeld speeds off in a bobsleigh, desperately taking pot shots at Bond and comically fumbling with a grenade! Desperate to get his man, Bond doesn’t let a little thing like being blown from his bobsleigh slow him down and gets into a clumsy fist fight with the SPECTRE head that ends with Blofeld seemingly killed by a branch. Seemingly victorious, Bond makes good on his promise and marries Tracy before friends and family. Though obviously heartbroken, even Miss Moneypenny is pleased for Bond and the ceremony allows former enemies M and Draco to reminisce on previous encounters between their organisations. Elated to have found a woman worth settling down for, Bond and Tracy drive towards a seemingly happy future, already planning to build a family together. However, their overly decorated wedding car draws much attention and Bond realises that he never bought his wife a gift, or flowers, so he pulls over to strip the vehicle and share a sweet moment with Tracy. Unfortunately for him, Blofeld not only survived their anti-climatic battle but returns with a vengeance, barrelling towards them at high speed (comically sporting a neck brace) alongside Bunt. Bond barely has time to flinch before Bunt unloads with a machine gun but is determined to chase after the villain. However, Bond’s horrified to see that Tracy has been killed by a bullet to the forehead. As a passing motorist stops by, Bond cradles his dead wife, barely holding back tears, and briefly taking solace in denial before succumbing to a grief that would come to define much of his later characterisation.

The Summary:
I’ve never been a fan of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and have long held the belief that the film would’ve struggled to impress me even if Sean Connery or Roger Moore had been in the role. Connery being Bond would’ve made things simpler, for sure, but I doubt even his magnetic presence would help with the uneven tone, slow pacing, and more ridiculous elements. As I understand it, many consider George Lazenby to be an under-rated Bond actor, though I disagree. He barely has the look, certainly doesn’t have the acting chops or screen presence, and is as thoroughly unconvincing as Bond as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary. Lazenby’s flaws are only exacerbated whenever he shares the screen with the charismatic Draco, the stunning Tracy, or the captivating Blofeld. While it annoys me that Blofeld is no longer scarred or a devious psychopath, Telly Savalas oozes charm and commands the screen, easily overshadowing Bond and yet portraying Blofeld so differently that he may as well have been a different villain. I did like the concept behind Tracy and her romance with Bond, but it was a mistake to make this a glorified side-plot and for her to disappear for the middle portion of the film. It might’ve been better to have her infiltrate Blofeld’s compound under the guise of needing treatment, or for her to have attended Blofeld’s facility and need to be freed from his control…anything to get her involved in the second act and avoid the nonsense Sir Hillary aspect. Admittedly, it was amusing seeing Bond work his way through the Angels of Death, but also a shitty move considering he was supposed to be in love with Tracy. The skiing sequences and explosive finale were decent, but the bobsleigh chase was laughable and OHMSS greatly suffers from a lack of memorable gadgets. The only reason anyone remembers it is the tragic and dramatic ending, which shows Bond at his most vulnerable and hits like a blow to the gut. However, this isn’t enough to elevate OHMSS, which remains one of my least favourite Bond movies and a mere footnote in the character’s history, which is a shame considering how relevant its finale was to future interpretations of the character.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Do you think I’m being too harsh on On Her Majesty’s Secret Service or do you agree that it’s one of the weaker Bond movies? Are you a fan of George Lazenby or do you agree that he was miscast? What did you think to Telly Savalas’s less monstrous version of Blofeld? Were you left devastated by the ending? Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating James Bond this month? Whatever you think about On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, or James Bond in general, feel free to leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more 007 content for the site.

Movie Night: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

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Released: 4 November 1994
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Distributor: TriStar Pictures / Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $45 million
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Robert De Niro, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn, and Ian Holm

The Plot:
Obsessed with preventing death, eccentric scientist Victor Frankenstein (Branagh) patches together a monstrous being (De Niro), who embarks on malicious crusade when its creator rejects it.

The Background:
In a bid to tell a story that spoke to “the mysterious fears of our nature” while snowed in in Geneva, eighteen year old Mary Shelley dreamed up Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus in 1818, attracting much controversy for its blasphemous content and producing a celebrated piece of literary fiction. Following a short silent film in 1910, Frankenstein saw considerable success on the stage and silver screen thanks to James Whales’ 1931 horror classic and Boris Karloff’s iconic performance. Following numerous additional reinterpretations, and the incredible critical and commercial success of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Coppola, 1992), director Francis Ford Coppola wanted to helm a more faithful adaptation of the book before moving into a producer role. Coppola’s first mandate was that Robert De Niro be cast as the tragic creature and that Kenneth Branagh should direct. Next, Frank Darabont was drafted to rewrite Steph Lady’s initial script, though he later lamented that Branagh had heavily altered his vision for the film. Alongside a far more fantastical depiction of the Monster’s reanimation, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein presented a dramatically different version of the creature, one far closer to Shelley’s text than other adaptations. With a box office of $112 million, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was a modest financial success met with mostly mixed reviews that criticised the manic pace and surprisingly bland execution, while praising De Niro’s heart wrenching performance and the intriguing exploration of Victor’s haunting obsessions.

The Review:
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein immediately gets off on the right food by establishing a framing narrative the echoes the original text, beginning by following Captain Robert Walton as he leads his crew in a desperate bid to find a path through the ice to the North Pole. Unfortunately, the journey is so perilous and difficult that his crew are close to breaking point. Even when the ship gets trapped in ice, Captain Walton refuses to turn back, having spent his entire fortune funding the trip and being driven by an obsession with etching his name in history, no matter the cost. As the crew frantically try to free the ship and entertain thoughts of mutiny, they’re startled by an inhuman howl and amazed when a dishevelled cloaked figure appears from the storm, babbling about some “thing” out on the ice. Captain Walton takes the exhausted stranger in and cares for him, curious about what’s waiting in the frigid wasteland, only to be introduced to the manic, wild-eyed rantings of Victor Frankenstein, who begs Captain Walton to give up his crusade due to the danger of the mysterious thing pursuing him. When Captain Walton refuses, scoffing and enraged at the idea of being denied his destiny, Frankenstein is distraught to see the stubborn captain shares his madness and, in a bid to convince him to turn back before he destroys himself and his crew, tells Captain Walton his life story. This is related through the remainder of the film, with some correspondence between Frankenstein and his adopted sister, Elizabeth (Carter), and excerpts from Frankenstein’s journal mirroring the epistolary nature of the novel, and being bookended by Captain Walton’s reaction to Frankenstein’s crazed story of scientific obsession turned to destruction.

Obsessed with defeating death, Frankenstein employs immoral and outlawed sciences to create life.

Frankenstein met Elizabeth when they were children (Rory Jennings and Hannah Taylor-Gordon) and spent his whole life caring for her as though she were his own, as instructed by his beloved mother, Caroline (Cherie Lunghi), and expert surgeon father, Baron Alphonse Frankenstein (Holm). Even from an early age, Frankenstein hungered for knowledge and conducted many eccentric experiments using ancient tomes, mostly concerning the transfer and nature of energy, to the amazement of his family. Unfortunately, Frankenstein’s youth was marred by tragedy as his mother died giving birth to his younger brother, William/Willie (Charles Wyn-Davies/Ryan Smith), an event that traumatised Frankenstein and began his obsession with defeating death. Upon arriving at the University of Ingolstadt to follow in his father’s footsteps, Frankenstein immediately gains notoriety for studying and championing unconventional texts and authors long considered heretics or sorcerers, angering his more rational and scientifically minded tutors, who believe their focus should be on saving lives using the scientific method. Obstinate and arrogant, Frankenstein secretly continues his experiments alongside his enthusiastic (if medically conventional) friend Henry Clerval (Tom Hulce), but his outbursts attract the curiosity of Professor Waldman (John Cleese), who touted similar beliefs in the past and was tarnished because of it. Frequent discussions and experiments with Professor Waldman further Frankenstein’s obsession with preventing or reversing death, discovering that the applying electricity to key areas of the body can reanimate corpses, though even Professor Walden refuses to share his notes and divulge how close he came before giving up his crusade. Frankenstein, however, is undeterred and only redoubles his efforts after his mentor is senselessly murdered trying to prevent an outbreak of cholera. Despite Clerval’s objections, Frankenstein studies Professor Walden’s notes and arrogantly believes he can succeed where his mentor failed by acquiring the right “raw materials” for his “reanimate”, locking himself in his attic laboratory and ignoring his friends and loved ones as he works himself to exhaustion stitching together a monstrosity that he believes will be both smarter, stronger, and superior to man.

Frankenstein’s work sees him shun those closest to him, including his devoted adopted sister and lover.

Frankenstein’s fixation on overcoming death sees him become a recluse; he locks Clerval out and stops writing letters to his family and Elizabeth, who’s particularly distraught as the two became so close over the years that they couldn’t deny their feelings and vowed to be married once Frankenstein finished his studies. While it is admittedly quite disturbing to see these “siblings” suddenly lustful for each other, no one bats an eyelid at their romance because it’s been obvious to everyone, especially nursemaid Justine Moritz (Trevyn McDowell), who’s been in love when Frankenstein since they were children, that that two have always cared deeply for one another, Elizabeth is besotted by Frankenstein, eagerly anticipating consummating their relationship on their wedding night and desiring to bring new life to their family home through their children. Encouraged by Justine, Elizabeth travels to Ingolstadt to be with her lover, concerned for his welfare, only to find him a physical and emotional wreck living in squalor. Erratic and fixated on his work, Frankenstein shuns Elizabeth and sends her away, breaking her heart. However, when he’s discovered in a feverish stupor by Clerval, Frankenstein is nursed back to health by his friend and his love, reconciling with Elizabeth and suddenly vowing to give up his bizarre and secretive experiments. Frankenstein returns to his family home in Geneva, ready to commit himself to medical science alongside Clerval, and joyously announcing his engagement to his father, who celebrates the union as a blessed event. However, Frankenstein remains tight-lipped about his dark days isolated in his lab and refuses to speak of what transpired there, taking solace in his newfound happiness. Elizabeth and Alphonse are left devastated when Frankenstein’s past comes back to haunt him, however, as poor little Willie is brutally murdered on the family grounds and poor Justine is unfairly and unlawful lynched as the primary suspect, thrown off the prison roof and hanged by the bloodthirsty local despite the true culprit being a hideous creature of Frankenstein’s own making.

Robert De Niro disappears behind the creature’s monstrous make-up.

Following Professor Walden’s notes, Frankenstein cobbles together a brutish patchwork creature from bits and pieces of others, including the man who killed his mentor and Professor Walden’s brain. Using a bizarre contraption filled with amniotic fluid and powered by electric eels, Frankenstein maniacally sees his experiment through and is initially overjoyed when his creature comes to life. However, he immediately regrets his actions, echoing Professor Walden’s own conclusions, when the Monster appears ungainly, deformed, and brain damaged. Believing the creature to be dead, a remorseful Frankenstein forgets the entire thing, unaware that his creature stumbled through Ingolstadt in a daze before being driven to the countryside by paranoid locals who, upon seeing the monstrous visage, assumed it was the cause of the cholera outbreak. While in the woods, the Monster shelters in the barn of a kindly family of farmers, who are struggling to survive due to the bitter winter cold. Touched by their kindness towards each other and their plight, the creature secretly helps harvest their crops and learns (or, as it later says, remembers) how to read and write by observing them. When the creature defends the family’s blind grandfather (Richard Briers), it’s welcomed by the grateful old man, who shows compassion, only for the rest of the family to misread the situation and drive the Monster away before fleeing. Learning of its origins from Frankenstein’s journal, the enraged creature hunts down its creator and confronts him on “the sea of ice”, desperate to learn the purpose of its existence. Though a deeply sympathetic and pitiable creature, it’s hard to feel too bad for Frankenstein’s being when it delights in detailing how it crushed the life from Willie and set Justine up for her execution. It vows to indulge its insatiable rage if Frankenstein refuses to build it a mate, promising to disappear from the world if it has a companion to ease its suffering, and is presented as the personification of Frankenstein’s folly.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s been a while since I read the book, but Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is certainly the most accurate adaptation of the text I’ve ever seen. It has the framing narrative, showcases his family life, details his studies, and presents the Monster as being intelligent and articulate, all things largely ignored in the 1931 version. Frankenstein has always been a favourite of mine, largely because of this movie, which I believe was my first exposure to the story. It’s amusing to watch in some ways, however, since Frankenstein’s rantings about hair and fingernails regrowing after death have long been proven to have nothing to do with the body still being alive. Similarly, his experiments with electricity are shown to literally reanimate a frog when we know that any convulsions and movements are due to the electrical current. Frankenstein does touch upon some valid aspects of medicine in his rantings, however, like organ transfers, very much making him ahead of his time (and thus a heretic to the God-fearing scientific community). I’ve always found it odd, though, that Frankenstein stitches together his creation. Professor Walden’s notes state that the right “raw materials” may result in success, though it’s not clear what makes any of the body parts Frankenstein gets more “right” than others except when he harvests “the very finest brain” from his mentor. It seems like it’d be much easier to simply zap Professor Walden’s body to bring him back but, instead, Frankenstein cobbles together a creature he feels will be the perfect lifeform, only to be disgusted and ashamed of his feeble creation once he realises he’s made a massive mistake. I really enjoyed that we got to see the Monster learning from the family and the exploration of how its mind works. Many of its memories and abilities are presented as “trace memories”, as though each body part remembers something different from its previous life and the creature can use that knowledge to learnt to speak and play the flute while also being a completely unique personality, one driven by incredible love and equally powerful rage.

A visually memorable, gory, and faithful adaptation of the thought-provoking text.

It’s astounding to me that Robert De Niro, of all people, was cast as the creature but he does an excellent job depicting the Monster’s confusion, anguish, and hatred. Initially a mindless, wailing creature acting on instinct, the Monster comes to realise it is a living thing (in a sense) and has been abandoned by its creator. Its conversation with Frankenstein echoes the bitter resentment a man may have towards God and Frankenstein’s blunt, clinical answers about the creature’s purpose and origin speak to the disappointment one might feel upon asking God, “Why am I here?” Rather than being a bulky, block-headed giant lumbering about with bolts through it sneck, the Monster is a patchwork of skin and body parts, with De Niro’s eyes conveying the bulk of the emotion as the impressive make-up distorts his features. Instead of channelling a lightning bolt into his creation, Frankenstein constructs an elaborate and frankly ridiculous contraption that uses special chemicals, electrodes, and electric eels in an unsettlingly sexualised sack to birth his creature, somewhat overcomplicating the process but providing some unique visuals, if nothing else. The creature is depicted as being incredibly unstable, boasting superhuman strength and agility and seemingly impervious to the cold, and flip-flopping between loving and gentle and abhorrently brutal as it relishes killing Willie and tormenting Frankenstein. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein gets very gory, with death, especially, depicted as a messy and traumatising affair. Caroline and Professor Walden’s deaths are particularly gruesome, leaving the Frankenstein’s covered in blood, and Justine’s is notably harrowing given the senselessness of it all. Things come to a head when the Monster, enraged when Frankenstein breaks his vow, makes good on its promise and brutally murders Elizabeth on their wedding night, ripping out her heart and mangling her corpse with glass and fire. It’s no wonder that Frankenstein is so obsessed with defeating death considering these experiences, but his obsession is tainted by arrogance and a God complex that makes him foolhardy and stubborn, refusing to entertain any notions contrary to his or apply his admittedly keen mind towards perfecting surgeries and medicines to achieve his goal.

Frankenstein’s obsession ends in heartbreak and death when his creation demands recompense.

Although Frankenstein reluctantly agrees to create a mate for the Monster, desperate to atone for his mistakes and to give his creation some peace, he backs out on the deal when the experiment again alienates him from Elizabeth. Marshalling his family guards, Frankenstein abandons his work to marry Elizabeth, only to be devastated and horrified when the Monster tears out her heart in recompense. With his lover dead and his father dying of a broken heart following Willie’s murder, a grieving Frankenstein shuns Clerval’s objections and frantically stitches Elizabeth’s disfigured head to Justine’s corpse and recreates his experiment, desperate to be reunited with his love and lost to his insane obsession once more. Even when the confused, clearly disfigured and inept Elizabeth returns to life, Frankenstein refuses to realise what he’s done, begging her to say his name, slipping on her wedding gown and ring, and dancing with her with manic joy even as she flops around like a lifeless puppet. Frankenstein’s bliss is shattered when the Monster appears and claims Elizabeth for itself, her being drawn to the monstrous being on some primal instinct. While Frankenstein is elated when she finally chokes out his name, Elizabeth is horrified when she catches sight of her mangled reflection and incensed when the two fight over her, eventually choosing to immolate herself, taking Frankenstein’s home with her. Returning to Captain Walden, we learn that Frankenstein pursued his creature for months, always being drawn north, intent on killing the beast. However, Frankenstein succumbs to pneumonia and dies, much to the despair of his creation, who weeps for its “father”. Taking pity on the Monster, Captain Walden organises a funeral, only for the ice to crack and the Monster to choose to die alongside his father rather than return to the world of man. Finally, after seeing how destructive obsession can be and touched by Frankenstein’s story, Captain Walden agrees to abandon his crusade before he’s destroyed in the same way.

The Summary:
I’ve always had a soft spot for Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it was my introduction to the story and sparked a lifelong fondness for the text, its stirring themes, and its complex, monstrous creature. However, it’s not a film I watch all that often as it is quite long and it does have some flaws. While Kenneth Branagh did an excellent job conveying Frankenstein’s obsession and mania, I think it was quite self-indulgent to cast himself in the movie. I’m not always convinced by Helena Bonham Carter or her relationship with Frankenstein, which is a bit questionable in this day and age, and the film overly complicates iconic moments like the construction and birth of the Monster, seemingly to be more grounded and realistic despite how fantastical the story is. Robert De Niro did a surprisingly great job as the Monster, however. I never would’ve pegged him for a role like this, but he showcases an unexpected emotional depth that perfectly captures the creature’s intense love and blinding fury, presenting a very different and much more accurate portrayal of the creature that challenges the popular depiction of it as a mindless, lumbering giant. This is a very beautiful film, with some fantastic sets and costumes, that really captures the period setting. It’ll always be weird to seeing the bizarre equipment used to bring the creature to life but it’s certainly memorable, and doubly unsettling when viewed as an allegory for birth. Frankenstein’s obsessions are very relatable, as is the Monster’s rage, and both are flawed, justified characters in different ways that really make you think about the nature of “good” and “evil”. The creature is like the personification of karma, relentlessly causing death and torment for its creator, literally destroying Frankenstein’s entire family for revenge. Had Frankenstein embraced and nurtured his creation, or simply destroyed it, much of the anguish he suffers could’ve been avoided but Frankenstein’s arrogance and superiority complex constantly prove his undoing. Ultimately, I can understand why many dislike Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it’s not the easiest film to watch, but it’s always been a not-so-guilty pleasure of mine and it remains as evocative today as it did when I was a teenager, so I have a lot of fondness for this flawed creation.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you also a fan of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or did you find it too much of a slog to sit through? What did you think to the cast and their performances and were you surprised to see Robert De Niro in such a role? Did you like how different the creature’s make-up effects were? Do you consider this the most faithful adaptation of the text? How are you celebrating horror this year? Leave your thoughts on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Frankenstein content.

Movie Night: Frankenstein (1931)

Dr. K4 Comments

Released: 21 November 1931
Director: James Whale
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $262,007
Stars: Colin Clive, Boris Karloff/?, Mae Clarke, Dwight Frye, and Edward Van Sloan

The Plot:
Obsessed with playing God, eccentric scientist Henry Frankenstein (Clive) cobbles together a monstrous being (Karloff/?) whose child-like nature sees it embark on a rampage.

The Background:
“I busied myself to think of a story […] One which would speak to the mysterious fears of our nature, and awaken thrilling horror…” And so it was that Mary Shelley, while effectively snowed in in Geneva, thought up the concept for Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus at just eighteen years old. First published anonymously in 1818, what began as a ghost story that attracted much controversy due to Shelley’s gender and its blasphemous content, evolved into a celebrated piece of literary fiction whose scientific, gothic, and religious themes have been discussed endlessly for over two hundred years. Frankenstein was first adapted into a short silent film in 1910 but saw considerable success on the British stage, courtesy of Peggy Webling, despite numerous changes to the source material. Following their surprising success with Dracula (Browning, 1931), Universal Studios gave producer Carl Laemmle Jr. the go-ahead to produce more horror movies, with them acquiring the rights to the Frankenstein stage play. Though Laemmle Jr. initially planned to play the Monster, Dracula star Bela Lugosi was approached for the role but (in)famously turned it down as the initial script had stripped the creature of all nuance and humanity. Instead, the Monster was famously embodied by Boris Karloff, who endured long, painful hours in make-up to bring the creature to (un)life with a look that was noticeably removed from the book. Though subjected to rigorous censorship demands, Frankenstein was a remarkable box office hit at the time thanks, in part, to clever marketing. Despite its many differences from the book, Frankenstein was widely praised for Karloff’s captivating performance and as one of the best films of its year. The film stood the test of time as a horror classic, popularising this interpretation of the Monster for generations and leading to numerous sequels and reinterpretations of the text.

The Review:
Surprisingly, I do have some experience with Shelley’s Frankenstein, having studied it at secondary school and during my undergraduate years, if only briefly. Although I’ve read and written about the text before, it has been a while since I revisited the book and most of my experiences come from the movies, as with all the Universal Monsters characters. Still, I remember enough to know that Frankenstein is a very loose adaptation, missing many details and supplanting them with others, though some of the missing material was utilised in the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein (Whale, 1935), so literary purists may have a better time watching both back-to-back. The first and most obvious change is that Frankenstein is named “Henry” here, with his title given to his cantankerous father, Baron Frankenstein (Frederick Kerr) and his original first name given to his friend, Victor Moritz (John Boles), who’s essentially an adaptation of the book’s Henry Clerval. Frankenstein also has a simple-minded, hunchbacked assistant in the movie (named Fritz (Frye) rather than the more mainstream “Igor”) rather than working alone, the Monster is deathly afraid of fire and never speaks, and many events are shuffled around. This is largely because, like Dracula, Frankenstein is based more on the stage play than the text, but it does mean the movie hits differently and explores alternate, if tangentially similar, themes regarding science, playing God, and the nature of man. The very fact that Frankenstein deals with such issues, no doubt shocking to a God-fearing world, potentially explains why the film opens with star Edward Van Sloan warning audiences to turn away if they’re shocked by such content. Indeed, the horror of Frankenstein, at the time, was just as much about a man playing God as it was the titular (or not so titular) Monster, since the idea that anyone but God can create life would’ve been deeply blasphemous and the fear of the unknown (in this case, science) would’ve made the subject matter particularly upsetting, I’m sure.

Despite warnings from his friends and loves ones, Frankenstein creates monstrous life with science.

Anyway, in Frankenstein, Henry comes from a wealthy family with a great deal of influence on a small village in the Bavarian Alps. While the curmudgeonly Baron Frankenstein despairs of his son’s bizarre experiments and decision to isolate himself in an ominous stone tower laboratory with Fritz, Henry’s correspondence to his fiancée, Elizabeth Lavenza (Clarke), tells of his need for privacy and solitude. This is primarily because he and Fritz are sneaking out at night and digging up bodies, selecting organs and body parts for a patchwork man Henry aims to bring to life through the awesome power of electricity. While they scavenge everything they need for the body, Henry’s frustrated that the recently deceased can’t provide a viable brain, so he has Fritz steal a preserved brain from his old mentor, Doctor Waldman (Van Sloan), not realising that it’s a “criminal brain” seemingly hardwired for evil (that’s also further damaged by the clumsy Fritz). Concerned for her love’s welfare, Elizabeth politely shrugs off Victor’s advances and convinces him to ask Dr. Waldman for advice, with the three braving a horrific thunderstorm to visit Henry. Though frustrated by their interference, Henry invites them to witness his crowning achievement when Victor (fully aware of his intentions) accuses him of being mad. While Henry denies this claim, it’s obvious that he is a little bonkers, as seen in his exuberant and iconic cry of “It’s alive!!”, his claims to “be God”, and his initial denial regarding his creation once it comes to life. Ecstatic to have brought the creature to life, Henry insists that the childlike being needs time to adjust rather than rejecting it on first sight as in the novel. This is despite the protests of Dr. Waldman, who correctly warns that the “Monster” is an abomination to God and a threat to all due to its capacity for evil and its unpredictable nature.

Thanks to its unnatural origin, Frankenstein’s Monster is confused and quick to wild emotions.

Despite his efforts to teach the Monster, Frankenstein is forced to agree when the creature flies into a rage at the sight of fire and acts like a wild animal while chained in the basement, murdering Fritz, attacking Dr. Waldman, and almost throttling Henry before Dr. Waldman subdues it with what’s supposed to be a lethal injection. During Henry’s recuperation, his madness lifts and he returns to a normal life, finally marrying Elizabeth (to the joy of his father and the village). Ever the curious scientist, Dr. Waldman leads the vivisection on the Monster, becoming its second victim when it reanimates and strangles him to death. Though initially oblivious to the threat, Henry (and the entire village) are alerted of a wicked murderer after learning that local girl Maria (Marilyn Harris) has been drowned, Dr. Waldman killed, and after Elizabeth is attacked. Much of this is similar to the book, such as the Monster stumbling across a little girl, murdering a child, and going on a bit of a killing spree, but it’s framed as the actions of a confused and misunderstood creature rather than acts of wickedness. While the film goes to great lengths to assert that Frankenstein’s experiments are immoral and inhuman, the tone is awkwardly balanced between Henry’s madness, the darker sequences, and some strange comedic moments. These largely involve the blustering Baron Frankenstein, who’s convinced his son’s having an affair, demands that he forget his experiments, and constantly rambles about his grandmother’s wine. The Baron has no patience for Burgomaster Herr Vogel (Lionel Belmore) or the expectant masses…until Henry snaps out of his obsession and returns to the real world, and then the Baron’s all smiles and jokes. Elizabeth is the quintessential supporting fiancée, deeply devoted to Henry despite him isolating himself and Victor being right there, and far more suitable. Victor is basically a blank slate, shouting accusations at Frankenstein and offering little else, and honestly his role could’ve easily been merged into Dr. Waldman’s to speed things up.

Madness and science birth a confused and potentially dangerous abomination.

As ever, “Frankenstein” is both the Monster and the creator as Henry brings the wretch to life and is the subject of the film but does so through abhorrent acts like grave robbing and stealing. The Monster is seemingly a mishmash of different parts and pieces, with no true personality of its own, but it does retain rudimentary memories. These initially encourage Frankenstein as the Monster’s capable of stumbling about and obeying basic instructions, but his enthusiasm quickly dies when he sees how savage the Monster becomes when confronted by fire. The Monster’s rage is only fuelled when Fritz beats it and Henry gives up on it, reluctantly agreeing to kill the creature only to find Fritz strung up. Depicted as simple-minded but incredibly strong, the Monster easily overpowers two or three men at once and gleefully throttles Dr. Waldman, perhaps out of sheer muscle memory from its “criminal brain” or perhaps because it recognises the threat those around him pose to its existence. Indeed, when the Monster stumbles upon Maria, it sits and plays, laughing and seemingly content. However, it misunderstands the girl’s game of tossing flowers into the river and chucks her in for a laugh, drowning her despite her landing in the shallow end and unintentionally whipping the villagers into a lynch mob. It’s not clear why the Monster pays a visit to Elizabeth, especially as it seemed to be wandering at random, but she’s horrified by its grotesque appearance, and it attacks her when she tries to flee. Luckily for her, it leaves her alive, which only motivates Frankenstein to join the mob. Although the Monster looks nothing like Shelley’s descriptions, its design is certainly iconic and striking. A tall, lurching, shambling wretch with its eyes largely rolled back, two bolts in its neck, and misshapen skin, the Monster is an unnatural man-thing that mocks the beauty of natural life. Yet, interestingly, Henry isn’t immediately disgusted by it and the Monster is shown only to be confused and scared, lashing out accordingly and in need of guidance rather than persecution.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Frankenstein was certainly ambitious for the time. Boris Karloff’s make-up looks both impressive and extremely uncomfortable, with the actor perfectly stomping about and making stiff, jerky movements to show the creature is unnatural and undead. Although the film lacks a score to emphasis dramatic moments, there’s some great use of sound during the thunderstorm, which delivers the film’s most impressive moment. Sure, it’s weird that Henry’s visitors aren’t drenched when they enter the laboratory and his whole setup takes a lot of liberties with the source material, but Frankenstein’s laboratory is the quintessential “mad scientist” setup and a wonderful way to show the awesome and seemingly unknowable power of nature (in this case, lightning). Baron Frankenstein’s residence also impressed in its opulence, and I liked that Frankenstein incorporated many different locations, though some sets were a bit too obvious (which is to be expected). The film utilised a decent miniature to depict the windmill and its destruction and I was impressed by how often flaming torches appeared onscreen, and how fast and loose everyone played with getting up close to them! While the Monster’s jerky movements made his “fight scenes” a joke, I did like seeing these normal guys and scientists struggling to subdue the savage Monster, who easily overpowered them and left a decent body count in its wake. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see the Monster learning to speak or being more than a near-mindless creature, but the intention seems to be to emphasise that Henry came so close to playing God but screwed it up because man isn’t meant to meddle in such things. It’s always amused me as it surely would’ve been easier for Frankenstein to reanimate a fresh body than to stitch together a grotesque behemoth, and he arguably pays the price for that approach since the Monster is as much a victim of its disparate pieces as it is the situation it finds itself in.

A dramatic showdown between man and creation ends this startling loose adaptation.

Upon discovering Maria’s dirty, drowned body, her shellshocked father (Michael Mark) carries her through the village and to the Burgomaster to warn of a murderer and immediately incites a lynch mob. The seething masses are only further incited when Dr. Waldman is found dead and Elizabeth is attacked, for the village holds the Frankensteins in high regard and is outraged at such an act. Frankenstein joins the search, which is split between different areas of the village and the surrounding grounds, with Henry venturing into the jagged mountains alongside rabid dogs and villagers wielding flaming torches. Unaware that his Monster is to blame for the deaths (since Henry believes the creature perished from Dr. Waldman’s serum), Henry is stunned when the Monster attacks him in the wastelands. The scuffle is brief and one-sided, with Frankenstein easily bested and hauled to a nearby dilapidated windmill with the mob in hot pursuit. Desperate to escape to the high ground, the Monster tangles with Frankenstein when he wakes, with Henry proving no match for his creation and being tossed from top floor. Luckily for him, the slow-moving windmill blades break his fall, leaving Frankenstein a gravely injured (but inconceivably alive) wreck on the ground. While some villagers carry Henry home, the others set the windmill on fire, sending the trapped Monster into a frenzy and seemingly causing its destruction when it’s consumed by the fire. In the aftermath, Frankenstein recovers at home alongside Elizabeth and his father celebrates with another shot of the family wine, toasting his family house and blissfully unaware that the rampage was caused by another “son of the house of Frankenstein”. It’s obviously a very different ending from the book, with the entire sub-plot and bookend of Captain Robert Walton dropped, Elizabeth and Henry surviving the events, and the omission of the Monster’s bride and vengeance upon Frankenstein’s family. Still, the Monster does seemingly perish in a fire like in the book and I don’t expect filmmakers from 1931 to try and bring the Arctic to life.

The Summary:
Since the stage play that Frankenstein is more directly adapted from has essentially been lost to the mists of time, it can be difficult to reconcile how loose an adaptation the film is from the source material. The film omits and changes many elements from the book, distilling the key events and themes to a feature-film length and losing much of the complex charm and horror of Shelley’s book. Yet, these elements are still present and, even in this modern day, there’s still a chilling message about man’s arrogance in using science to play God. While Henry Frankenstein insists that he’s the model of sanity, he is out in the dead of night digging up corpses, isolating himself from friends and family, and practically frothing at the mouth when his Monster comes to life. Though he lacks much of the nuance of the source material, Frankenstein is depicted as an egotistical and obsessed scientist who claws back some sympathy after initially appearing somewhat unlikeable, ultimately paying for his arrogance not with his life, but with a traumatic experience. Frankenstein’s lasting legacy is, without a doubt, the design and portrayal of the Monster. Boris Karloff gives a remarkable physical performance, lumbering about, throwing clubbing blows, and growling at his prey as the Monster struggles to adapt to its newfound unlife. The visual of the Monster, with its cuboid head, large suit, and metal bolts, is enduring and iconic and is so burned into the cultural consciousness that I’d wager most people don’t realise that the Monster looks nothing like that in the book. Frankenstein also impresses in its ambition, featuring many different locations and sets, some superb set design, and a surprisingly high body count (including a child, no less!) The film distils the book’s warnings about meddling in the unknown into a far more simplistic message about reaping what you sow, but it’s still a decent watch, despite some unavoidable flaws, that no doubt galvanised this version of Frankenstein’s Monster into the cultural zeitgeist.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Frankenstein’s big-screen debut? What did you think to the changes to the source material and which parts did you miss the most? Did you also find Baron Frankenstein a bizarre character? What did you think to Boris Karloff’s performance and the dramatic redesign of the Monster? Where do you stand on who should or shouldn’t be called “Frankenstein”? Which adaptation of Frankenstein, or Universal Monsters movie, is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Share your opinions on Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Frankenstein content.

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: Dr. No

Dr. K1 Comment

To celebrate the release of this movie, the first of many filmic outings for James Bond, October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day”. Today, 007 is one of the most recognised and popular movie icons of all time so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 5 October 1962
Director: Terence Young
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $1.1 million
Stars: Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, Jack Lord, John Kitzmiller, and Ursula Andress

The Plot:
After an MI6 liaison is murdered in Jamaica, suave spy James Bond/007 (Connery) discovers a plot by malformed mad scientist Doctor Julius No (Wiseman) to disrupt an American rocket on behalf of the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE).

The Background:
Super spy James Bond was the brainchild of writer Ian Fleming in 1953, heavily inspired by Fleming’s years as a Navy intelligence officer. 007 first came to life not through Sean Connery’s immortal and iconic performance or even the bizarre comedy loosely based on Fleming’s first Bond book, but a one-hour CBS television adaptation of that same book that was heavily altered for American audiences. Bond was next adapted into a South African radio drama in 1958 and Fleming’s books became a long-running series of comic strips starting in 1957, before Casino Royale (1953) finally came to the big screen in 1967 after years of Development Hell and rights disputes. Though initially reluctant, Fleming eventually sold the rights to all his Bond novels (except Casino Royale and, most infamously, 1961’s Thunderball) to producer Harry Saltzman. Saltzman partnered with Albert R. “Cubby” Broccoli to spearhead an adaptation of the 1958 novel of the same name, bringing in director Terence Young to define the onscreen portrayal of the super spy for decades to come. Though hampered by a paltry budget, Young chose to innovate and spend what little money had had wisely, while the script included many alterations from the source material, including painting Dr. No as an agent of SPECTRE. While the producers initially envisioned Cary Grant as Bond, Richard Johnson claimed to have been tapped for the role, and Rod Taylor rejected the pitch, former bodybuilder Sean Connery impressed with his devil-may-care attitude and cemented his career (for better or worse) with his now-iconic performance. Although Dr. No received a mixed reaction at the time, it proved a box office success that kick-started a cinematic franchise, with each subsequent film out-performing the last at the box office. In the years since its release, Dr. No has been critically re-evaluated in a more positive light, with the film named as one of the top 100 British films of all time and praised for delivering some of the most memorable moments in the series.

The Review:
I think it’s only fair to start off by admitting that I’ve never been a fan of Dr. No. While it’s easy to explain away a lot of its flaws by pointing to the era it was made and it being the first of a series, so many of the recognisable Bond elements hadn’t been refined yet (even if they make their debut here), I’ve just never been a fan of the pacing and plot. Indeed, one thing I often joke about is that, even now, I don’t really know what Dr. No is about or what the titular mad scientist is  after. Therefore, I went into this viewing really trying to pay attention and grasp what the plot was and what was happening. Surprisingly, Dr. No’s stakes are surprisingly low; the world isn’t at stake here. In fact, no nations, cities, or lives seem to be at risk at all, save those who venture to Dr. No’s private island, Crab Key, uninvited or those who stand in his way. The film’s events kick off when John Strangways (Timothy Moxon/Robert Rietti), a keen fisherman, poker player, and head of MI6’s Kingston station, and his secretary, Mary Trueblood (Dolores Keator), are murdered by, of all things, three assassins posing as blind beggars. After a few hours trying to re-establish contact with Strangways, the cantankerous and officious head of MI6, “M” (Bernard Lee), pulls Bond from a game of Baccarat and orders him to find out what happened, advising him to liaise with his Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) counterpart, Felix Leiter (Lord), and to not waste any time. Though Bond happily takes the assignment, he drags his feet a little by flirting with M’s secretary, Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), and hooking up with the alluring Sylvia Trench (Eunice Gayson), firmly establishing that, while Bond is loyal to King and Country, he’s got a soft (well, more accurately a hard) spot for the ladies and the finer things in life, such as a good smoke and a stiff drink.

While Connery mesmerises as Bond, 007’s painfully mundane in his first outing.

Sean Connery immediately embodies the now-world famous super spy with a relaxed, confident poise and charm. He greets every situation, even admonishments from M, with a wry smile and a biting wit, seemingly fearless and maintaining his composure even when he’s being followed or clearly duped by enemy agents. While this is Bond’s first screen outing, it’s clearly not his first assignment as he’s been licensed to kill for some time (though M’s dialogue suggests Bond may only be a year or so into this career as a 00 agent) and is generally hyper aware of his surroundings. Even when he’s welcomed by Chief Secretary Pleydell-Smith (Louis Blaazer) and given lodgings at Government House, Bond checks for bugs and preps his room to alert him to intruders. Unlike later Bond movies, 007 is rather ill-equipped; Major Boothroyd (Peter Burton) simply furnishes him with the standard issue Walther PPK in place of his unreliable Beretta M1934 and that’s it. Not that Bond really needs any gadgets here, just a rental car and a working telephone suffice for most of the film. Bond’s first official big screen adventure is much more of an investigative thriller than anything else. Bond wanders about Kingston meeting with those who knew or saw Strangways last, piecing together what happened, knocking back vodka martinis (“Shaken, not stirred”) and other vices as he goes. After a brief misunderstanding, Bond meets with Leiter, visits a few more locations, and eventually suspects Professor R. J. Dent (Anthony Dawson), a geologist and one of the last people to see Strangways alive. Bond’s investigation alerts him to Crab Key, a forbidden island owned by the mysterious Dr. No, which Strangways regularly visited. It’s all very mundane and dull, sadly, with only Connery’s magnetic screen presence holding my interest as Bond simply stumbles upon breadcrumbs to discover that Dr. No obviously had something to do with Strangways disappearing.

Sadly, scene-staler Quarrel meets a toasty end when he insists on aiding Bond.

Bond’s eventually aided by Leiter, though Felix at first suspects 007 of being corrupt since Bond willingly allows obvious enemy plants to drive him around and lure him into bed. Bond does this in hopes of questioning and/or boning said agents, though his investigation is often frustrated since many of his would-be assassins choose death by cyanide over talking. Leiter reveals that he worked closely with Strangways to discover the source of a radio jamming signal that has been disrupting America’s space exploration rockets. Leiter’s also instrumental in cooling tensions between Bond and Quarrel (Kitzmiller), a Cayman Islander whose boat Strangways took to Crab Key and collect samples. Initially giving Bond the brushoff, Quarrel confronts him and knifepoint and the two scuffle until Leiter intervenes and they all get on the same page. While Leiter isn’t that interesting, simply being a friendly face to give Bond some intel and call out his womanising ways, Quarrel is quite an enjoyable addition, being an upbeat and friendly seaman who affectionately calls Bond “Cap’n”. Rather than rely on sea chats or coordinates, Quarrel follows his instincts but is extremely hesitant to go to Crab Key due to rumours of a fire-breathing “dragon” dwelling there. While Bond initially gives Quarrel the option of staying behind, his patience with these stories grows thin, especially when they bump into the beautiful Honey Ryder (Andress) and she echoes Quarrel’s fears. Still, Quarrel proves useful to Bond’s investigation and subdues Annabel Chung (Marguerite LeWars) when she spies on the trio. Bond seems genuinely distraught when Quarrel meets his horrifying (and ridiculously abrupt) end at the hands of Dr. No’s “dragon” (an armoured tank with a flamethrower) and adds the seaman’s name to the list of people he wishes to avenge.

Dr. No is sadly absent for most of the film and his scheme is very vaguely defined.

As if Dr. No wasn’t disappointing enough, the titular scientist is quite a letdown as well. Like Honey, Dr. No doesn’t fully appear until the final act, which is pretty incredible considering his unique affliction and his admittedly captivating screen presence. While I appreciate the fear and awe given to Dr. No throughout the film, with the locals scared of Crab Key and Dent terrified of his master’s reprisals, I think the film suffers from not including him at least once before Bond reaches Crab Key. A mysterious and isolated figure, Dr. No initially appears as a disembodied voice reprimanding Dent and ordering him to kill Bond using a tarantula (an effective means, to be sure!) Dr. No has agents all over Kingston, it seems, with him sending a driver (Reginald Carter) to try and kill Bond soon after he lands, placing Miss Taro (Zena Marshall) as a double agent, and employing some goons to try and run Bond off the road. Despite Dr. No voicing an explicit desire to have Bond killed, he does a complete 180 once Bond arrives on Crab Key. His loyal soldiers give Bond, Quarrel, and Honey multiple chances to surrender peaceful and end up roasting Quarrel alive when they disobey, but Dr. No treats Bond and Honey as distinguished guests and has them decontaminated and confined to a room that’s more deluxe suite than a dungeon. Dr. No is impressed by Bond’s repeated interference (even though I’m not sure what Bond did to cost him time and money…) and believes him an intellectual equal, only to be angered by Bond’s dismissive and condescending attitude. Although Dr. No claims his genius is as formidable as his physical strength thanks to his painfully limited artificial hands, he’s clearly a madman. So much so that neither the East or the West wished to employ his services and even SPECTRE seems somewhat embarrassed by him. This could be because Dr. No uses his vast and overly complicated nuclear-powered facility to disrupt Cape Canaveral simply for his own self-gratification as he issues no threats and demands no ransom, seemingly embodying only the “Revenge” aspect of SPECTRE as he wishes to prove himself superior to those who mocked and dismissed him.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Dr. No is obviously the blueprint which all future Bond movies were based, establishing many of the tropes, elements, and recurring themes for the series. Accordingly, we get out first gun barrel sequence (with stuntman Bob Simmons as Bond), first utterance of “Bond… James Bond”, and our first title sequence (though there’s no cold open here). Unfortunately, Dr. No fails to impress with its opening titles, which are simply a mess of colours, dancing girls, and “007” plastered over the screen while Monty Norman’s “James Bond Theme” blares. Bond’s iconic overture oddly crops up when he’s doing such exciting tasks as… walking, searching his room, or using the telephone. Rather than have an artist or group write a unique song for the film as would later become a key component of the franchise, Dr. No repeatedly falls back on renditions of “Under the Mango Tree”, a tune I’d happily never have to listen to again after sitting through this snore fest. The basic frameworks of future Bond films are established here, however, meaning it’s perfectly natural for M to simply show up to give Bond his mission and Miss Moneypenny to give Bond someone to flirt with in MI6 headquarters. Long-time Bond fans may be surprised that Desmond Llewelyn isn’t playing “Q” here (though Major Boothroyd is the same character). Consequently, there’s no visit to Q-Branch, no Aston Martin, and Bond’s even light on the quips, only dropping a couple of deadpan comments after outwitting his would-be assassins. Bond is a largely apathetic character, seemingly bored with the routine aspects of his job and preferring to be in the field, where he does his own thing regardless of his orders. This sees him getting a dressing down for carrying a Berretta and taking many detours in his investigation to get his end away or have a drink or smoke. Indeed, both M and Leiter comment on Bond’s lackadaisical attitude, though his methods always return to his primary mission one way or another.

While Bond’s women are attractive, it would’ve been nice to expand Honey’s role.

Despite getting second billing alongside Sean Connery, Ursula Andress only appears in the third act and has such a small role that it’s barely worth discussing. Of course, she makes a lasting impression on both audiences and Bond with her dramatic emergence from the sea, clad in a sultry bikini and inspecting her coveted seashells, but it might’ve been nice to include her a bit sooner to break up the monotony of watching Bond mingle around rooms. Though initially appearing naïve and almost childlike in her demeanour, Honey’s actually a well-travelled young lady, an accomplished diver, and has experienced by heartache (she believes Dr. No murdered her father) and strife. As a child, she was sexually assaulted (or possibly raped) and took her revenge by killing her attacker with a black widow spider (though oddly reacts in horror when Bond offs one of Dr. No’s henchmen). Still, she plays basically no role in the finale, with Bond successfully convincing Dr. No to send her away for their parlay and is simply there to have a pretty face onscreen at the tail end of the film. She’s nice on the eyes, for sure, and somewhat aids Bond with her familiarity with Crab Key, but her demeanour is a bit odd and it’s difficult to really care that much about her since she appears so late in the film. Similarly, while Sylvia gets a lot of play at the start of the film, she’s simply an attractive Baccarat player Bond seduces with his card game rather than an undercover SPECTRE agent like Miss Taro, Pleydell-Smith’s secretary. Indeed, it’s possible Sylvia and Taro would’ve been combined into one character in a later Bond film (and, truthfully, that would’ve made more sense here) to give Bond a tertiary threat while playing detective. Though she acts coy about listening into Bond’s meeting and the conveniently missing files on Dr. No, Miss Taro tries to lure Bond into a trap and then uses her body to distract him, only for him to effortlessly see through her ruse and simply use her for his own gratification (and to lure Dent into outing himself as another of Dr. No’s agents).

While I’m still not sure what Dr. No’s endgame was, he’s ultimately foiled by Bond.

After knobbing around Kingston for a few days, dodging death every other night and following leads on Strangways, Bond becomes very suspicious of Crab Key and its mysterious Dr. No. After using Miss Taro and easily fooling Dent, Bond decides he has enough evidence to visit Crab Key, convincing Quarrel to give him a lift and having Leiter on standby with the Marines. After Quarrel’s killed, Bond and Honey are welcomed as Dr. No’s distinguished guests, furnished with a luxurious room, drugged coffee, and a fine dinner. Dr. No’s patience and reverence for Bond quickly grows thin when 007 insults him and refuses to join SPECTRE, however, leading to Bond being beaten and tossed into a cell. Despite the electrified grate, and his injuries, Bond easily escapes through the facility’s massive ventilation shafts, kills one of Dr. No’s technicians (Anthony Chinn), and assumes his role in the control room. There, himself and his underlings protected from the radiation that cost him his hands, Dr. No directs a test on his nuclear reactor, apparently to disrupt America’s latest rocket launch. Despite his genius, Dr. No’s so distracted by his monitors that he fails to notice Bond overloading the reactor until its too late. With the facility in meltdown and his minions fleeing for their lives, Dr. No awkwardly confronts Bond on the gantry. Rather than treating us to a slugfest where the underdog 007 must use his wit and wiles to compensate for the crushing power of Dr. No’s prosthetic hands as the environment goes up in flames around them, this final battle is merely a clumsy scuffle on a small platform descending into a cool pool and Dr. No’s superior strength fails him as his crappy plastic hands can’t grip for shit. With everyone more concerned with escaping, Bond easily convinces Dr. No’s panicked employees to point him in Honey’s direction, and he rescues her from…being slowly drowned, I guess? The two then commandeer a convenient boat and drift away from Crab Key just as Dr. No’s facility explodes, ending whatever vague threat he posed. Though Leiter comes by to tug the two to safety, Bond opts to release his line so he and Honey can canoodle in their boat during the credits.

The Summary:
I was honestly dreading watching Dr. No again as, like I say, I’ve never been a fan of it. I want to respect it for laying the foundation for one of my favourite cinematic franchises, and that (alongside Sean Connery’s magnetic performance) is what gives it its second star, but this is always a tough watch for me. There’s so much working against it, from the dull opening titles, the Bond theme blaring in the most mundane scenes, and the dull focus on Bond’s investigation rather than action, women, or suspense. I understand that this was a different time and there was only so much the filmmakers could do (painfully obvious during Bond’s big car chase…), and that Dr. No is more of an investigative thriller than a bombastic action movie, but my lord is this painfully slow to watch. Bond meanders from scene to scene, easily piecing together clues when you’d think Dr. No would want to cover his tracks, and happy to waste his time bedding and toying with Dr. No’s obvious agents rather than getting to business. Dr. No is painfully absent throughout, meaning his motivations and character are poorly developed, to say the least. SPECTRE is little more than a name drop, Dr. No is simply a maniacal cripple childishly lashing out at a world that rejected him, and his plan is painfully ill defined. I still have no idea what the stakes are or why I should care about Dr. No’s plot when he makes no demands and seems to just be messing with America for shits and giggles, and we’re even robbed of him matching wits (and brawn) with Bond since Dr. No prefers to let his underlings or spiders do the work rather than just bloody shoot him! Ursula Andress may be gorgeous and have captivated a generation, but Honey Ryder shows up far too late to be that interesting. Had she been featured throughout, or perhaps been Dr. No’s unwilling concubine, then maybe I would care but, as is, she’s just kind of there. Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, and John Kitzmiller are the stars of this show but even they can’t keep me from tuning out every time I watch Dr. No and I’m honestly surprised we got a Bond franchise after this tedious slog of a movie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Am I being too harsh on Dr. No? Where would you rank it against the other James Bond films? Were you impressed by Sean Connery’s first outing as 007? What did you think to the focus on his investigation and the film’s slower pace? Do you agree that Dr. No and Honey Ryder should’ve shown up sooner? Were you disappointed when Quarrel got roasted? Can you tell me what Dr. No’s plan was, because I still don’t know… Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating Global James Bond Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Dr. No, or James Bond in general, leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and suggest some 007 content you’d like me to cover by donating to my Ko-Fi.

Movie Night: Bram Stoker’s Dracula

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 13 December 1992
Director: Francis Ford Coppola
Distributor: Columbia Pictures
Budget: $40 million
Stars: Gary Oldman, Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, Richard E. Grant, Billy Campbell, and Anthony Hopkins

The Plot:
Having renounced God after the suicide of his love, ruthless vampire Count Vlad Dracula (Oldman) travels to London to seduce her lookalike, Mina Harker (Ryder), indulging his bloodlust and inspiring a rag-tag band of would-be vampire killers to stand against him.

The Background:
Inspired by Irish folklore and age-old vampire myths, Bram Stoker’s Lord of Vampires undeniably popularised the vampire as we know it today and inspired many critical and academic discussions. About thirty years after the book was published, World War I infantryman Bela Lugosi first embodied the role of Dracula for a stage production, eventually transitioning to the silver screen for Tod Browning’s horror classic before the legendary Christopher Lee made the role his own in 1958. After decades of reinterpretations and filmic appearances, Dracula lived again in 1992 thanks to the efforts of star Winona Ryder, who brought James V. Hart’s screenplay to director Francis Ford Coppola as a project for them both. Attracted to the haunting, disturbing sensual nature of the material, Coppola agreed and Gary Oldman jumped at the chance to work with the prolific director, who spared no expensive crafting the film’s ornate costumes. Veteran production artist Mentor Huebner and even comic book writer and artist Mike Mignola worked on the film’s extensive storyboards while hair and makeup designer Michèle Burke crafted Oldman’s signature look. After Christian Slater turned down the Jonathan Harker role, Keanu Reeves stepped in, though his hard work to convey a British accent drew much criticism. Oldman apparently lost himself in the sexuality and intensity of the role so completely that fell out with Ryder for a while and Coppola’s eccentric demands drew some criticism at the time. Finally, Coppola also insisted on utilising practical, in-camera, and old-school special effects technique utilising forced perspectives, miniature effects, and matte paintings. Opening at number one at the US box office and with a final gross of over $215 million, the award winning Bram Stoker’s Dracula was largely praised as a visual masterpiece. While many criticised some of the performances and its overly dramatic elements, just as many praised it as a tragic, alluring mixture of romance and horror, lauding Oldman’s performance and the tangible nature of its presentation.

The Review:
Bram Stoker’s Dracula mixes folklore, fiction, and history to present the titular Lord of Vampires as having started life as a Vlad III Drăculea, a warrior for the Romanian Orthodox Church, a commander and soldier so ruthless and bloodthirsty that he single-handedly slaughtered many in the Ottoman Empire and impaled their bodies and heads on pikes as a way to destroy their moral. Back in 1492, Dracula’s campaign against the Turks was seen as a righteous one, fought to defend his church in the name of almighty God, who Dracula praised and devoted himself to above all else save his beloved wife, Elisabeta (Ryder). However, while Dracula was successful in slaughtering his enemies, Elisabeta took her life after receiving false reports of his death, unable to face living life without her husband. Upon discovering this, and learning that Elisabeta’s suicide had damned her soul, Dracula cursed and renounced God, desecrating the chapel and drinking a strange blood spewing from its altar. In the process, Dracula became the first vampire, an undead thing with powers over the elements (he conjures great storms and winds), dominion over the “children of the night” (wolves, rats, and such), and the ability to transform into a monstrous bat-like form, mist, and rats. Contrary to most popular depictions, Dracula is merely weakened by sunlight, though he does draw strength from the cursed soil of his homeland, Transylvania, and renew himself by drinking the blood of his victims. Yet, Dracula spends four centuries isolated in his decrepit, ominous castle on the outskirts of a nearby village with only his lustful, ravenous concubines (Florina Kendrick, Michaela Bercu, and Monica Bellucci) for company, presumably terrorising and feeding upon the locals whenever the thirst or fancy takes over. When the film jumps ahead to 1897, however, visits to Transylvanian to liaise with the mysterious Count have driven solicitor R. M. Renfield (Tom Waits) insane, leaving him in the care of Doctor Jack Seward (Grant), who’s both disgusted and amazed by Renfield’s hunger for flies and mad rantings about his “master”.

When Dracula pays a visit to London, he terrorises the aristocracy with his perverse lusts.

Since Dracula wishes to purchase properties around London and represents a substantial investment, Renfield’s duties are passed to fresh-faced, well-spoken, and somewhat frigid solicitor Jonathan Harker (Reeves). Though his fiancée, Wilhelmina “Mina” Murray, is saddened to hear he will be gone for some time, eager to consummate their marriage, she recognises that this is a big opportunity for Harker and takes solace in his frequent correspondence. Though well-mannered and good-natured, Harker is unnerved by Transylvania, where wolves freely wander, darkness looms ominously, and his client is prone to bizarre outbursts. Dracula treats Harker as a guest, welcoming and feeding him and expressing his desire to be amongst civilisation once more, but is erratic and eccentric, lamenting his cursed family bloodline, driven to a frenzy by the sight and smell of blood, and generally testing Harker’s civil nature. While I love Keanu Reeves, he is dreadful in this role, delivering perhaps the worst British accent I’ve ever heard and appearing lost and confused. This is a case where it might’ve been better to let him use his natural accent, if only to make his line readings less awkward, but that wouldn’t have helped with his awful haircut/wig and robotic tone. Harker’s effectively held prisoner in Dracula’s castle, feasted upon by his brides for at least a month before he finds the willpower and courage to escape and being left severely traumatised. While pining for her love, Mina takes solace in the courtship of her dear friend, the promiscuous Lucy Westenra (Sadie Frost), giggling over sex acts while Lucy flits between her suitors, Dr. Seward, wealthy Lord Arthur Holmwood (Cary Elwes), and gunslinger Quincey P. Morris (Campbell). Though she settles on Holmwood (presumably for the financial security, accustomed as she is to such a lifestyle), the other two continue to hang around and curry her favour, forming first a dysfunctional friendship and then a rag-tag group of vampire hunters when the peculiar Professor Abraham Van Helsing (Hopkins) alerts them to the vampire’s threat.

While Mina succumbs to Dracula’s charm and Harker’s tortured, Van Helsing offers his expertise.

Betrayed by his faith, Dracula is presented as a far more tragic and sympathetic figure. Upon seeing Mina’s photograph, Dracula alters his plans for London to include seeing his reincarnated love, mercilessly slaughtering the crew of the Demeter to restore his youth. Unlike other adaptations of Dracula, where he integrates into London society and socialises with Dr. Seward and the others, Dracula is a largely enigmatic figure once he reaches Ol’ Blighty. Appearing as a peculiar foreign prince, Dracula stalks Mina through the streets, using his hypnotic and persuasive powers to entrance her and slowly unearth her forgotten memories of their past life and love. Though initially rude towards him, Mina comes to be captivated by Dracula and begins a love affair in Jonathan’s absence, naturally unaware that her handsome prince has been feeding upon Lucy in the night as a wolf-beast. However, when she receives word of Jonathan’s condition, Mina goes to him, encouraged by her sick friend, to rekindle their love and get married, though it’s obvious that her feelings have changed and that her thoughts constantly drift to her passionate and mysterious prince. When Lucy’s condition worsens and defies Dr. Seward’s expertise, he calls Van Helsing for aid, only for the outlandishly blunt priest to conclude that she’s been targeted by Nosferatu, a subject he’s well versed on. Although Van Helsing tries to stave off the infection with a questionable blood transfusion, Mina’s beset by a fever, constantly wandering off in a daze, and undergoes radical personality changes, resembling Dracula’s ever-horny, ever-hungry brides and quickly making believers out of Lucy’s bemused suitors.

Dracula is depicted as a demonic, yet ferociously tragic and aggressively sexual romantic figure.

Jonathan’s return to London confirms Van Helsing’s worst fears, that Dracula himself is amongst them, and he leads the fledgling vampire to hunters to “where the basturd sleeps” so they can destroy Dracula’s cursed soil. However, Dracula is agonised when Mina breaks off their tryst, conjuring violent winds and fully transforming Mina into a vampire out of spite. This process sees her rise as an undead seductress with the same unnerving taste for children as Dracula’s concubines. While Dr. Seward, Quincey, and Holmwood falter against Lucy’s monstrously sexual transformation, Van Helsing leads the charge, wielding a holy cross and easily placing Lucy into a vulnerable slumber so she can be staked and decapitated. While Jonathan is startled about how blasé Van Helsing is about this, he eagerly joins their cause to deal a measure of revenge against Dracula, who murders Renfield for running his mouth to Mina before appearing before her, all pretence dropped. Although Mina is horrified and angered to learn that her lover murdered her best friend, she cannot deny her feelings for him or the strength of her vague memories and begs to be with him, forever. While elated to hear this and desperate to inflict his curse upon her to be reunited with his lost love, Dracula hesitates at the last second, unable to bring himself to watch her suffer from eternal torment as he has. However, horny little minx that she is, Mina refuses to listen and gladly, hungrily drinks his blood in an explicitly sexual act that sees her undergo a similar transformation to Mina. This means that she constantly interferes with the hunters’ attempts to intercept and destroy Dracula when he flees to Transylvania, attempting to seduce Van Helsing and even holding her husband at bay with a rifle to defend her dying love, having willingly sacrificed her humanity for some real passion in her life.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Since I haven’t read the original book, I’m not really qualified to comment on how accurate an adaptation Bram Stoker’s Dracula is. However, from what I’ve heard, it’s one of the most faithful retellings and I did like that the film incorporated voice overs and diary entries to mimic the book’s epistolary nature. Dracula is undeniably a vastly different character to other, more popular depictions, appearing as a once proud and seemingly noble (if ruthless) soldier who slaughtered armies in the name of his God. He cherished Elisabeta more than anything in the world and felt betrayed when the church turned on him after his many years of faithful service, renouncing God since he’d forever be denied his love even in death due to her damning her soul through suicide. His quest to London thus becomes a desperate desire to reunite with Elisabeta, who’s seemingly been reincarnated in Mina, and he wastes no time in captivating and wooing her. Whereas Jonathan is reluctant to give in to carnal desires, Dracula is an extremely passionate man whose romantic way with words entrance Mina as much as his hypnotic gaze and the shadows of her former life. While he’s overjoyed to reunite with his love, Dracula hesitates to subject her to his curse, knowing it cannot be undone and will lead to eternal earthly damnation for them both. Interestingly, he doesn’t spare this same concern for his other concubines or show mercy to the children he regularly feasts on, but these are apparently secondary concerns for the lovelorn Mina, who’s so desperate to get laid that she gleefully renounces her humanity. And make no mistake about it, Bram Stoker’s Dracula is the horniest, sexiest adaptation of the text you’ll ever see! Lucy is super horny for all her suitors, Dracula’s many attacks are framed as blatantly sexual acts, the vampire brides all exude succubus energy, and then there’s the scene where Mina drinks Dracula’s blood and he reacts with orgasmic pleasure!

Despite some impressive visuals, the monster designs are questionable, at best.

Bram Stoker’s Dracula may also be the most visually impressive version of the book. It’s clear that the filmmakers spared no expensive on the elaborate costumes and sets, with the woman, especially, being strapped into extravagant gowns and the men all dressed in their finest regalia. While I dig Dracula’s beehive hairdo and opulent robes, I do question the design of his blood red armour, which seems awfully devilish for a man of God and also looks far too much like heavy leather for my tastes. The film uses practical effects and traditional optical trickery to fantastic effect to overlay miniatures with backgrounds and diary entries and project Dracula’s gaze into the storm clouds. The film is surprisingly sparing with the gore, but it makes quite an impression when it does appear, with arterial spray drenching drapes, Lucy spewing up blood when Van Helsing shoves a cross in her face, and heads flying after being severed by the vampire hunters. Dracula has quite a few forms here, though some are better than others. His aged, withered appearance is one of my favourites, though his youthful guise makes the girls wet and his unnerving mist proves suitably deadly to the rabid Renfield. Sadly, Dracula’s monstrous forms leave a lot to be desired, his man-bat form is the superior of the two, but even this looks awkward and uncomfortable, especially as his arms are literally bent-back wings. His wolf-man form is even worse, however, appearing very fake and shaggy looking, with only the facial prosthetics and his unsettling sexual attack saving it from being ludicrous. Dracula’s decaying appearing in the finale is far more striking, as is his mysterious horseman and the techniques used to show him and his concubines moving with unnatural grace. Unfortunately, little of this keeps the film from being an absolute slog to sit through. At just over two hours long, Bram Stoker’s Dracula sure does drag things out, inflating its runtime with bizarre editing choices and unnecessary cutaways and perhaps sticking a little too close to the text for its own good.

Thankfully, the entranced Mina ends Dracula’s torment, and mine, by ending this dull movie.

Thanks to Jonathan, Van Helsing and the others destroy all but one of Dracula’s boxes of earth. When his seduction of Mina is interrupted, Dracula’s forced to flee to Transylvania in his last box, his powers fading and his appearance quickly degenerating, to regain his strength. Van Helsing leads his group in intercepting Dracula, bizarrely taking Mina with them despite her being less of a liability in London. While Harker and the others try to cut off the gypsy slaves transporting Dracula’s carriage, Van Helsing and Mina head directly for his castle, with the eccentric vampire expert desperately fending off the brides with his flaming torch and subduing Mina with a communion wafer when they try to seduce and bite him. When the brides kill their horses, Van Helsing takes a swift revenge and claims their heads before joining up with the others at Dracula’s castle. Although Quincey is fatally stabbed in the hectic fracas, he does stab the decaying Dracula through the heart and Harker gets a measure of revenge by slitting the Count’s throat. However, Mina stops them from finishing off the monstrous abomination and Harker and Van Helsing reluctantly allow her to get Dracula into the chapel where he once turned his back on God. There, the demonic Dracula shares a kiss with his beloved and is amazed when the chapel undergoes a supernatural restoration; the candles ignite and the cross he disgraced repairs itself, restoring Dracula to his youth. However, he’s still mortally wounded and, with his dying breath, Dracula begs Mina to bring him peace. Although she’s heartbroken, Mina agrees to end his suffering and stake shim through the heart before decapitating him, undoing the curse inflicted upon her and seemingly allowing Dracula to reunite with Elisabeta in the afterlife.

The Summary:
I’m going to be honest and say I’ve never liked Bram Stoker’s Dracula. I never watch it because I remember it being a long, boring, overly stylised affair with some atrocious performances. And that isn’t just a knock against Keanu Reeves, either, as Winona Ryder and Sadie Frost are just as bad with their accents and delivery. Hell, even Gary Oldman and Anthony Hopkins are hamming it up, though I at least give them credit for bringing a Shakespearean gravitas to this tediously dull movie. While I’m sure Bram Stoker’s Dracula is exceedingly faithful to the book, there’s something to be said for condensing the text when making an adaptation. For example, did we really need Dr. Seward, Holmwood, and Quincey all in the film? I feel it would’ve been far simpler to combine them into Dr. Seward for the sake of brevity. Additionally, we spend way too long in Dracula’s castle with him, Harker, and the brides. Like, I get it; Dracula’s manipulated Harker and imprisoned him there, but this sequence goes on for what feels like an age and yet the Demeter scenes are a glorified montage? I did like how tragic and human Dracula is, with him depicted as a disgraced former believer who’s spent centuries yearning for his lost love and yet hesitates to afflict her with his curse as it’s been such a tortured unlife for him. Paradoxically, Dracula is still a monstrous fiend who feasts upon innocent souls (and children) to prolong his life and make others suffer for his own amusement. While the film is undeniably beautiful and the old-school filmmaking techniques are appreciated, giving the film a tangible quality that makes it seem like a big-budget stage play, Dracula’s monstrous forms leave a lot to be desired. His man-bat form is a major disappointment and the man-wolf effects are laughable, though it is intriguing how sexually aggressive the film is, explicitly depicted Dracula’s attacks as sexual misdeeds. It may be the most faithful adaptation of Stoker’s text, but Bram Stoker’s Dracula is just too tedious for me to rate much higher. I dreaded revisiting it for this review and hoped my opinion would’ve changed, but it’s just as dull and painful to sit through as ever, despite its strong visuals and atmosphere.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Bram Stoker’s Dracula? If you’ve read the book, how faithful is this adaptation and would you say it stuck too close to the text in some areas? Do you agree that the film is too long or were you captivated by the gothic atmosphere? What did you think to Gary Oldman’s performance and Keanu Reeves’s atrocious accent? Which adaptation of Dracula is your favourite and how are you celebrating Halloween this year? Tell me I’m wrong about Bram Stoker’s Dracula in the comments, read my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Dracula content.

Movie Night: Dracula (1931)

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Released: 14 February 1931
Director: Tod Browning
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $341,191
Stars: Bela Lugosi, Helen Chandler, David Manners, Dwight Frye, and Edward Van Sloan

The Plot:
When R.M. Renfield (Frye) travels to Transylvania to oversee the purchase of a London abbey to the enigmatic Count Dracula (Lugosi), he unwittingly facilitates the malicious vampire lord’s trip to London, where he terrorises beautiful maiden Mina Harker (Chandler).

The Background:
In 1897, the literary world was introduced to Count Dracula, Lord of Vampires, courtesy of Irish author Bram Stoker. Inspired by Irish folklore and long-standing vampire myths, Dracula undeniably popularised many characteristics of vampires that are still used to this day. Dracula also inspired many critical and academic discussions regarding its narrative and subtext, becoming a literary classic, and was said to be a big hit at the time, despite its controversial content. About thirty years later, Dracula was adapted for the stage, with former World War I infantryman Bela Lugosi first assuming the role that would make (and haunt) his career. Though the production was a hit, Lugosi wasn’t the first choice for the role when Universal Pictures began producing a feature film adaptation and only got the part after accepting a significantly lower salary. Although Browning’s film was the first official film adaptation of Stoker’s novel, Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (Murnau, 1922) owed its existence to Dracula, to the point that Stoker’s widow sued the filmmakers and ordered all copies to be destroyed. After acquiring the rights to the property, Universal Pictures funded what was said to be a disorganised shoot, with Lugosi alienating some cast members and Dracula stage veteran Edward Van Sloan expressing displeasure with the film. Despite some apprehension surrounding the film, Dracula was bolstered by reports of audience members fainting and it was well received by critics. Of course, nowadays, Dracula is regarded as a classic of the silver screen, with Lugosi’s portrayal being the quintessential standard of all subsequent screen Draculas. Its success not only led to additional big-screen outings for the count and a slew of horror releases from Universal Pictures, but also defined the titular character for generations.

The Review:
I think it’s important to preface this review by saying that I’ve never gotten around to reading Stoker’s Dracula. My experience with the Lord of Vampires is all based on movies and other media rather than books, so I can’t speak to Dracula’s status as an adaptation. If I had to guess, it seems it’s more an adaptation of the original stage production than the epistolary text, but I’m sure a lot of the most prominent elements of the book are represented here. Dracula is initially the story of Renfield, a painfully polite and well-to-do Englishman who travels to a morbidly superstitious town in Transylvania to oversee the sale of Carfax Abbey. Respectful and courteous to the locals, Renfield insists on meeting a midnight carriage, as arranged by his client, Count Dracula, only to be warned off by villagers. In a lengthy, awkward opening scene with many obvious insert shots, the locals react with horror at Renfield’s plan to meet Count Dracula and insist he carry a crucifix to ward off the vampires they believe live in the ominous, gothic castle. Undeterred by superstition and enthusiastic about closing the deal, Renfield maintains his composure even when Dracula’s carriage driver vanishes, his luggage is left behind, and the enigmatic count appears to pass through an enormous spider’s web. Renfield enjoys Dracula’s hospitality, complimenting his home despite it being quite dilapidated and eagerly partaking of his food and wine, only to be duped by the charismatic vampire, who easily hypnotises him with his alluring glare and then samples his blood to turn Renfield from a chirpy and pleasant solicitor into a grinning, cackling nutjob with a taste for insects and an unwavering devotion to his “master”. With Renfield’s help, Dracula not only legally secures Carfax Abbey, but also loads crates of his home soil onto the Vesta, ensuring he can maintain his full strength on the journey to London and while hobnobbing about the city as an eccentric aristocrat.

Vampire lord Dracula corrupts Renfield and heads to London to target an innocent young lady.

Once Dracula enslaves Renfield, the film juggles between the alluring count and Doctor John Seward (Herbert Bunston) and his inner circle. A renowned physician, Dr. Seward operates the sanatorium that sits alongside Carfax Abbey and where Renfield is committed after being discovered as the crazed sole survivor of the Vesta. Dr. Seward lives with his beautiful daughter, Mina, who’s engaged to his protégé, Jonathan Harker (Manners) and best friends with Lucy Weston (Frances Dade). The four are rarely seen apart, enjoying the opera together when they’re first introduced to Count Dracula, who shuns Harker and takes a shine to Lucy. Captivated by the count’s charisma, Lucy jokes to Mina of her attraction to him but quickly becomes his next victim when he enters her room and feast on her blood. Despite Dr. Seward’s best efforts, Lucy dies and Mina is left devastated, haunted by terrifying nightmares of wolves and bats. As Renfield keeps mysteriously leaving his cell, perplexing bumbling attendant Martin (Charles K. Gerrard), and ranting about all kinds of nonsense, Dr. Seward has his colleague, polymath Professor Abraham Van Helsing (Van Sloan), analyse the madman’s blood. Van Helsing concludes that Renfield has been bitten by a vampire and constantly exposits folklore about Nosferatu, who assume various animal forms, drink blood, and cast no reflection. While Harker is sceptical, Mina takes them to heart and they’re seemingly proven true when Renfield reacts violently to wolfsbane, a vampire repellent. During a tense meeting with Dracula, Van Helsing reveals that the count has no reflection and deduces that he’s their vampire, though Dr. Seward and the others are only convinced to do something other than just stand around discussing the threat after Dracula easily coaxes Mina into the garden for another suck session, eventually leading Van Helsing to give her wolfsbane for her protection.

Despite his allure and incredible powers, Dracula is surprisingly vulnerable if you know his weaknesses.

Of course, the main draw of Dracula is the titular count, played masterfully by the magnetic Bela Lugosi. A charming, gracious man with a silver tongue, Dracula oozes charisma but is as unnerving as he is appealing thanks to his raspy accent and peculiar behaviour. Dracula relishes the sound of wolves, the sight and taste of blood, and particularly enjoys getting close to his quarry, captivating with his steely gaze and wooing with his words. Van Helsing instantly distrusts Dracula and they have some tense face-offs, with the professor’s willpower resisting the count’s hypnotism and his knowledge of vampires giving the protagonists the edge. Since Dracula is vulnerable to sunlight and needs Transylvanian soil to maintain his strength, he rests in a coffin of dirt during the day but easily enters Dr. Seward’s residence by becoming the fakest bat you’ve ever seen. Dracula showcases superhuman strength but his greatest assets are his charming personality and alluring gaze, though his brides (Cornelia Thaw, Dorothy Tree, and Geraldine Dvorak) flinch at his command and he clearly instils fear in the locals. This fear isn’t felt by Dr. Seward and the others since they see him as a polite, if eccentric, foreign count, and isn’t felt by Van Helsing, who’s clearly wise to the vampire’s tricks. Unfortunately, many of these are kept offscreen, merely told by Harker and Renfield, because of the limitations of the time. I was also a bit unclear about what Dracula’s endgame was. He buys Carfax Abbey and targets Dr. Seward and his wards, but I’m not sure why? I guess to spread his wings beyond his stuffy old castle but it’s not clear why he targets Mina beyond enjoying torturing Harker and turning something innocent into an abomination, as he did Renfield, who spends the film conflicted and wrestling with his loyalties and his wish to die without blood on his hands. Lugosi plays the role so well that it’s easy to forget these criticisms, but it was frustrating seeing everyone just standing around or him just glaring at people or randomly being inserted into shots to show him lurking on the grounds.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I usually cut black and white films a lot of slack. It was a different time with many limitations compared to today, where almost anything is possible in cinema. Therefore, I can forgive the obvious sets and painted backgrounds, and the slight imperfections in the camera movements and film quality. This extends to the few special effects, such as cutting to Renfield’s reaction rather than showing Dracula pass through the web, having Harker describe the wolf running across their grounds, and Renfield’s mad rant about the “thousands … millions!” of rats promised to him by his master. Dracula’s bat form is silly, for sure, but the effort put into Lugosi’s costume and lighting his eyes is impressive, even if his close-ups often feel awkward and out of place. Dracula gets ambitious by using a passable model ship for the Vesta’s trip (though some water effects over Lugosi would’ve helped sell the sequence) but strangely relies on voice overs to describe the massacre Dracula leaves on the ship. I did like how theatrical the whole production was, which isn’t surprising considering the time period and Lugosi’s experience portraying the role on stage, with the actors (especially Dwight Frye) largely overacting and chewing the scenery. I do feel Dracula suffers from a lack of music, though, as the film basically has no soundtrack and some scenes would’ve greatly benefitted from some ominous tunes. Dracula, especially, needed a haunting theme accompanying him and some ambient music would’ve really helped to liven up the film’s many dull exposition scenes.

Dracula’s brief and confusing rampage is easily ended when Van Helsing stakes him in his sleep…

Despite Van Helsing’s best efforts, Mina falls under Dracula’s spell, confessing to Harker that she’s becoming a creature of the night and breaking off their engagement. While Van Helsing is unflinching against Dracula’s threats, Mina’s maid (Joan Standing) is easily coerced into removing the wolfsbane from the entranced girl and spiriting her away. Luckily for her, Harker and Van Helsing spot Renfield fleeing to Carfax Abbey (although, honestly, where else would Dracula be?) and they pursue the crazed lunatic. This leads to a tragic end for Renfield as Dracula is incensed that his witless minion has betrayed his location (though…again…that should be the first place anyone would look!) and, despite Renfield begging to be tortured or punished, the sad fool is nonchalantly tossed down a flight of stairs to his death. While you might expect a tense showdown between Dracula and Harker, or perhaps a battle of wits between the count and Van Helsing, with the two perhaps buying time to expose Dracula to the rising sun and turn him to ash, the finale is far more disappointing. Dracula flees into Carfax Abbey with Mina in his arms and Harker and Van Helsing muddle about in search of him, knowing full well that he must rest in his coffin to avoid the rising sun. Van Helsing also knows that the only way to kill a vampire is with a wooden stake through the heart, so he improvises such an implement from the dilapidated abbey and the two stumble upon a coffin. While Mina isn’t inside, Dracula is, already fast sleep despite mere minutes passing, allowing Van Helsing to easily stake him to death with no resistance or the count’s death even being shown onscreen. Harker then finds Mina, who conveniently returns to normal, and the film abruptly and anticlimactically ends with the firm belief that Count Dracula has been destroyed forever.

The Summary:
Dracula’s never really been a favourite of mine. Out of all the classic gothic horror novels and all the Universal Monsters films, I can think of at least three others I’d rather watch or read than this one. Dracula lives and dies by the allure of its main star, the enigmatic Bela Lugosi, who brings an unmistakable gravitas to the role (and the screen) every time he appears. The man embodied the role so perfectly that it set the standard not just for future portrayals of Dracula, but most vampire characters (especially their leaders). Charming, sophisticated, and with a glare that can chill to the bone, Lugosi’s Dracula commands the screen and effortlessly woos all around him. Except, of course, for Van Helsing, played with stoic confidence by Edward Van Sloan as the natural foil to the malicious count. Honestly, I wish we’d gotten more interactions between these two in a battle of wits and wills as Van Helsing employed his vast knowledge to reveal Dracula’s true nature. Instead, we get a lot of sitting and standing around as characters describe stuff I would’ve loved to see, reiterate the plot or discuss vampire lore, or wonder what’s to do in their quirky, oh-so-British way. Dracula is visually impressive at times, especially the Castle Dracula set, though obviously its effects and techniques are painfully dated these days. The film touches upon the fear of the unknown, of being preyed upon by a conniving and manipulative, lustful predator, and Dracula’s tortured immortality but never fully commits. Similarly, the film’s ending seems to be very different and far less grandiose than the book’s, which definitely hurts it as it just…ends, leaving you unfulfilled. Ultimately, no one (least of all me) is denying the cultural significance of Dracula, but I absolutely feel it’s lacking in ways other Universal Monsters movies aren’t. Watch it to witness history but don’t expect much to hold your attention, especially if Lugosi isn’t on the screen.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of the 1931 big-screen adaptation of Dracula? If you’ve read the book, what did you think to the changes it made and the elements it brought to life? Do you agree that the film drags in the middle or were you as captivated by the narrative as Mina was by Dracula? What did you think to Bela Lugosi’s performance and would you agree that he’s the standard all Draculas should be compared to? Which adaptation of Dracula, or Universal Monsters movie, is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Let me know your thoughts on Dracula down in the comments, go read my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Dracula content.

Screen Time [MK Day]: Mortal Kombat: Conquest: “Warrior Eternal” (E: 1/2)

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This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is mortalmonday.png

To celebrate the worldwide home console release of Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992), 13 September 1993 was dubbed “Mortal Monday”. While I’m a day late this year, I always enjoy taking some time to celebrate this influential fighting series.

Episode 1 and 2: “Warrior Eternal”

Director: Oley Sassone
Air Date: 3 October 1998 and 10 October 1998
UK Network: Channel 4
Original Network: The WB Network / Turner Network Television (TNT)
Stars: Paolo Montalban, Daniel Bernhardt, Kristanna Loken, Bruce Locke, Jeff Meek, Chris Casamassa, and Jennifer Renton

The Background:
During the nineties, competitive fighting games took arcades by storm thanks to the many versions of Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Capcom, 1991). Seeking to compete with Capcom, developers Ed Boon and John Tobias took inspiration from movies like Enter the Dragon (Clouse, 1973), Big Trouble in Little China (Carpenter, 1986), and Bloodsport (Arnold, 1988) to create an ultra-violent tournament fighter that changed the genre with its simple fighting mechanics and ultra-violent content. Development of a live-action Mortal Kombat began with producer Lawrence Kasanoff, who envisioned the venture as a multimedia franchise. Unfortunately, while he and director Paul W.S. Anderson delivered a surprisingly profitable cult hit, Mortal Kombat’s (ibid, 1995) reputation was tarnished by its laughably bad box office bomb of a sequel. However, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (Leonetti, 1997) wasn’t the end of Kasanoff’s endeavours as this criminally under-rated and short-lived prequel series aired between 3 October 1998 and 22 May 1999. Though its schedule was often sporadic, Mortal Kombat: Conquest eventually followed episodes of World Championship Wrestling’s WCW Monday Nitro, resulting in cameos by WCW wrestlers, though the show ended on a frustrating cliff-hanger apparently due to its budget. Still, the series developed a cult following and was a spotlight for actors like Daniel Bernhardt and Kristanna Loken, some actors and sequences from the movies returned for the series, and Mortal Kombat: Conquest seems to have been subtly referenced in the franchise’s modern iterations.

The Plot:
Centauries ago, after safeguarding Earthrealm in a life-or-death tournament called “Mortal Kombat”, Kung Lao (Montalban) seeks a normal life with his love, Geneviere “Jen” Reyland (Renton). However, when fate and scorned sorcerer Shang Tsung (Locke) intervene, Kung Lao must team with an exiled guard and a thief to prepare for the next tournament.

The Review:
“Warrior Eternal” is the two-part pilot of Mortal Kombat: Conquest a prequel to the first two live-action movies that I watched diligently as a kid. We can tell right away that it’s a prequel not just because it’s set “centuries ago, in a time of darkness and fury” but because it presents younger versions of iconic Mortal Kombat characters Shang Tsung and Shao Kahn (Meek), Emperor of the all-conquering Outworld, but also liberally uses footage from those movies for establishing shots. Footage of Outworld and the Temple of Light establish this is the same continuity and, while they’re generally just random shots or short clips, it’s kind of fun to see shots of the Temple of Light repurposed here. It’s also clear that this is a prequel since we’re following the Great Kung Lao, distant ancestor of Liu Kang (Robin Shou), as he prepares to decide the fate of Earthrealm in the latest Mortal Kombat tournament. A humble man who’s been trained since birth to become the greatest Shaolin warrior, Kung Lao is described as the “best” Earthrealm has to offer and his mentor, the Thunder God Rayden (Meek), even says that, physically, no fighter can match him, a claim tested here and throughout the series. Naturally, Kung Lao is as aware of the realms and Mortal Kombat, and the otherworldly dangers of Outworld, as his fellow monks. While the city of Zhu Zin is close to the Temple of Light and many of its people are respectful of their monks and warriors, and even aware of Mortal Kombat, just as many remain ignorant and mock Kung Lao’s beliefs. Baron Reyland (John Reilly) is the embodiment of this, believing Kung Lao isn’t worthy of his daughter since the monk doesn’t place value in material or financial matters, showcasing that Kung Lao may be a knowledgeable warrior and deeply spiritual character, but he’s somewhat out of place with the world he fights so valiantly to protect.

Friendly champion Kung Lao is torn between his destiny and his heart after a lifetime of combat.

Unlike Outworld’s forces, Kung Lao has no supernatural power and is simply at the peak of physical and spiritual ability. While he still has a lot to learn, his commitment to protecting his loved ones and his sheer force of will see him resist even Shang Tsung’s soul-stealing magic and push him to overcome even insurmountable odds. Yet, Kung Lao is often conflicted, doubting himself and his abilities, and initially rejects Rayden’s demands that he prepares the next generation of fighters to compete in Mortal Kombat. Kung Lao is haunted by visions of a disastrous future where his people (and Earthrealm) are slaughtered and he’s pummelled by a barely distinguishable CGI mess (presumably Goro). Despite these visions, Kung Lao resists his destiny to be with Jen, who’s apparently drawn to his belief that all life as sacred (even monsters like Shang Tsung), making him the opposite of her father. Kung Lao shows respect even to Shao Kahn and makes a point to take a higher path, being humble in his victory and even sparing Shang Tsung even though it comes back to bite him. Kung Lao is friendly to all, having befriended the baron’s guards, Takeda (Casamassa) and Siro (Bernhardt), and even stepping in to spare Taja (Loken). While Siro is incredibly overprotective of Jen, Kung Lao pacifies him with compliments but is obviously blinded by his love when he praises her playful sparring. This also sees Kung Lao lie to her regarding his visions since he wishes to shield her from such things. Kung Lao’s outraged when Baron Reyland denies his wish to marry Jen and resolves to abscond with her, hopeful to flee his nightmarish visions and be truly happy. However, he makes peace with the baron in his final moments but is annoyed for dismissing Rayden’s advice, and sparing Shang Tsung, when Jen’s life is endangered. Kung Lao’s understandably devested when Jen dies but finds solace in knowing she’s gone to a better place and in dedicating himself to training new fighters alongside Siro and Taja, just as Rayden encouraged.

Meek impresses in his dual role as the wise-cracking Rayden and menacing Shao Kahn.

Like the movies, Rayden is presented as a mentor figure, while also giving a rundown on the Mortal Kombat tournament and the different realms that resembles the speeches his big-screen counterpart gave. Though he’s an aloof Thunder God with an odd sense of humour, Rayden directly oversaw Kung Lao’s training and gives him many pointers. However, Rayden is forbidden from directly interfering in mortal affairs, especially Mort Kombat, unless the unseen Elder God’s vaguely defined “rules” are broken, as the entire point is that mortals must defend their worlds. Often cryptic and mysterious, Rayden gives just enough hints, often pushing people where they need to be and surreptitiously manipulating them as required. Rayden sees things in very different terms to mortals, however, despite his clear love and affection for them. For him, it’s a simple choice of duty that Kung Lao accepts the responsibility of being Mortal Kombat champion and that the perks of being effectively immortal and serving the greater good outweigh fleeting love and friendships. Still, though exasperated with Kung Lao, Rayden understands his affection for Jen and helps point him find Scorpion by encouraging Kung Lao to figure out his visions. Jeff Meek pulls double duty as Shao Kahn, a menacing figure also handicapped by the Elder Gods’ rules since he cannot directly invade or attack Earthrealm without dire consequences. A master manipulator, shrewd warrior, and cunning strategist, Shao Kahn is constantly thinking up ways to bend or get around these rules, using hidden portals and third-party assassins and mercenaries and thus give Outworld the edge. Although not quite a petulant, childish figure like his movie counterpart, Shao Kahn is prone to fits of rage and mood swings that see him switch from morose and bored to spiteful and angered on a dime. Though he admires Shang Tsung’s ambition, Shao Kahn is a demanding, ruthless, and spiteful emperor, banishing Shang Tsung to the cobalt mines for his failure and deeply humiliated by Kung Lao’s victory.

The humiliated Shang Tsung plots his revenge from the desolate cobalt mines.

However, in these first two episodes, Shao Kahn is merely a puppet master as he sets in motion many of the events and standards the series will follow. Shang Tsung stars as Shao Kahn’s loyal servant and greatest warrior, with aspirations of ruling alongside his emperor. However, he loses favour when he’s humbled and humiliated by Kung Lao, who shows him mercy, perhaps the greatest dishonour Shang Tsung could face. Shang Tsung’s disgrace and lust for revenge runs deep as he preyed upon Kung Lao’s insecurities and used his decades of fighting experience to put the Shaolin warrior on the ropes, only to be publicly defeated for the first time in who knows how long. Despite knowing Shao Kahn better than perhaps anyone, Shang Tsung begs for death rather than endure the constant torture inflicted upon him following his failure. Shao Kahn cruelly grants a reprieve by banishing the sorcerer to the cobalt mines, though the sorcerer’s powers aren’t negated there like the other inmates. While there, Shang Tsung aligns with the scheming Vorpax (Tracy Douglas), who’s immediately enticed by Shang Tsung, seeing him as a chance to escape. Although Shang Tsung is immune to her charms, asserting dominance over her, he’s convinced to bring her under his heel to get his revenge. Shang Tsung believes he’ll regain Shao Kahn’s favour if he kills Kung Lao and steals his soul. He thus uses black magic to bargain with the soul trapped within a scorpion and have it infect Takada, casting Scorpion as the first of many minions to target the Mortal Kombat champion.

A radically different version of Scorpion steals the show with his malicious actions and fighting skill.

With Shao Kahn brooding in his palace and Shang Tsung confined to the cobalt mines, franchise favourite Scorpion acts as the primary antagonist here. Despite Mortal Kombat: Conquest set well before Hanzo Hasashi was born, it would’ve been folly not to include one of the most popular characters so the show dreams up a brand-new origin for Scorpion. To be fair, we never got any exposition about him in the films so it’s not really contradicting anything there. In this context, Scorpion was a deadly warrior confined to a real scorpion and stolen by Shao Kahn from a conquered realm. Thanks to Shang Tsung, Scorpion possesses Takada, one of the baron’s guards. While Takada was friendly with Kung Lao, he becomes a vindictive villain once consumed by Scorpion’s wicked demeanour. Mortal Kombat: Conquest gives Chris Casamassa a chance to flex his acting muscles alongside his physical ones, portraying Takada as a genial and loyal friend and Scorpion as a spiteful and cruel warrior. Sure, his line delivery is overly theatrical (“I’m going to kill you, Kung Lao” always makes me chuckle), but his fighting skills more than make up for it. Scorpion gains a new ability here to bring others under his sway, enchanting the Shaolin monks to give Siro and Taja someone to fight in the finale. Scorpion still has his snake-like spear-thing, which looks worse than ever and is easily dispatched by Kung Lao, though it’s okay as the Kung Lao/Scorpion fisticuffs are a highlight of these episodes. Scorpion even pulls off his teleport punch and creates ripples that impact the entire series – and Kung Lao’s life – by murdering Jen with a shitty looking fireball, returning to plague our heroes a few times despite inexplicably dropping into Hell (or the Netherrealm) upon defeat.

Despite her pretty face, the best thing Jen can do is die since she’s atrocious to watch.

If there’s a weak link in Mortal Kombat: Conquest, it is and has always been Jennifer Renton’s atrocious acting. Sure, she’s pretty enough but her delivery is robotic and impassionate and it’s legitimately painful whenever she’s on screen. Jen is extremely familiar with her bodyguard, Siro and Jen jumps at the chance to elope with Kung Lao for true happiness, which at least emphasises that she’s not as materialistic as her father. Jen surprisingly gets physical when she works with Taja to free Kung Lao and holds her father at spear-point, heartbroken at him forcing her to choose between the two men she loves. Jen’s recklessness costs her in the end, though, when she tries to interfere in Kung Lao’s fight with Scorpion and gets herself killed, ultimately gifting him the trading post to use as his base for the series. The greedy, cantankerous Baron Reyland operates from this central hub for trade and business in Zhu Zin, and cares only for profit and the power associated with money, believing his little empire to be more important than matters of life and death for the entire realm. When Kung Lao asks for his blessing, Baron Reyland treats the conversation like a trade dispute, criticising Kung Lao’s lack of financial prospects, despite being “well aware” of Mortal Kombat and its stakes. Baron Reyland demands Kung Lao abandon his faith or be forever denied access to his “property” (Jen), even threatening to have him executed if he persists. Thus, already angered at Siro’s betrayal and Jen’s rebelliousness, the baron praises Takada in apprehending Kung Lao and seemingly relishes ordering his execution. Baron Reyland is affronted when Jen and Taja save Kung Lao, disgusted and amazed at his daughter’s betrayal, but is offended when Takada employs sorcery to subdue Kung Lao. This proves to be the baron’s undoing as he’s impaled during the scuffle, though he makes amends with Kung Lao as he dies so…all’s well that ends well, I guess?

Although they get off on the wrong foot, the three protagonists eventually find common ground.

Finally, Kung Lao crosses paths with two characters who stick by him throughout the series: prideful and devoted bodyguard Siro and scrappy thief Taja. Siro is constantly at Jen’s side and, wishing only the best for her, allows her to leave with Kung Lao and humbly admits his betrayal to his master, taking his banishment despite the crippling blow to his pride and professional stature. An outspoken sceptic, Siro’s uncomfortable when visiting the Temple of Light with Jen and thus amazed when “Takada” leaps from the trading post without breaking his legs. Siro immediately gets off on the wrong foot with Taja when she and her cohorts attack him and Jen at the Temple of Light, with Siro easily besting the gorgeous thief and locking her up. However, Siro sets this aside following his encounter with Rayden and teams with Taja and Kung Lao to rescue Jen. Like Kung Lao, Siro is heartbroken at Jen’s death and despondent about his future before finding new meaning in aiding Kung Lao. Taja is equally cynical but more because of her harsh life stealing and fighting for survival. Defiant even when apprehended by Siro, Taja relies on her smart mouth when physically overpowered or shackled, visibly disgusted at being the baron’s slave and his advances towards her. When she learns of Kung Lao’s pending execution from an incognito Rayden, Taja’s compelled to intervene to ensure her own survival and out of gratitude for him sparing her life. Taja’s not afraid to fight dirty but pays her debts, quickly befriending Jen and showing regret at her harsh life and resorting to thievery, while also seeing it as the reality of her situation, confiding in Kung Lao that she dreams of the kind of luxuries Jen enjoys. Her insight into the baron’s dungeon serves Kung Lao well, as does her stealthier approach to situations as opposed to simply going in half-cocked. The experience changes Taja for the better, giving her an opportunity to do something useful with her life and, despite her doubts, she volunteers to aid Kung Lao in preparing for the next tournament.

The Summary:
I’ve always been a fan of Mortal Kombat: Conquest. It’s cheesy in just the right ways, with a lot of action and some fun reinterpretations of the videogame characters and their lore. Having said that, these aren’t the best episodes of the short-lived series. This makes sense in a way as they’re primarily designed to establish the characters, the show, and its format: Shao Kahn is a looming threat, Shang Tsung plunders the mine for new opportunities for revenge, and our three protagonists face constant battles both to gel as a team and define their destinies. This is all nicely laid out here but there are also some oddities. Kung Lao successfully defends Earthrealm and is charged with preparing for the next tournament, which isn’t for a “generation” (approximately twenty and thirty years). The Elder Gods decree that Kung Lao won’t age, but does that extend to his allies? I guess so, but I feel like the series might’ve benefited from taking place building to the next tournament. Kung Lao questions why Rayden can’t teach the new fighters and this is a great point as Rayden himself states that he’s guided Kung Lao’s training, and Kung Lao was trained to become as good as he is by the Order of Light, so all he really has to offer is first-hand insight into fighting Outworld’s forces, something I’m sure others could impart. Still, while Zhu Zin is obviously a set, it’s always bustling with extras thanks to being a market town and the restricted space is masqueraded (or, at least, justified) quite well. Also, although the violence of the videogames is again severely toned down, there’s still a fair bit of death and danger here. While this is largely embodied by Shang Tsung and Scorpion, who reduce people to ash or murder them with fireballs, Kung Lao’s not to be trifled with either as he’s not above killing when necessary.

Despite some dodgy CGI, the visual references and impressive fights help the show stand out.

Regardless, Mortal Kombat: Conquest also evokes the movies with its intro sequence and the techno-beat soundtrack that punctuates each fight, and by including some interesting references the source material. Costume design remains as accurate to the videogames as in the first movie. Though it’s disappointing Kung Lao only dons his Mortal Kombat II (Midway, 1993) look for a brief scene and Rayden also ditches his iconic hat, I liked Rayden’s robes, Scorpion looks exactly as he did in the first movie, and Shang Tsung closely resembles his Mortal Kombat II appearance. It honestly doesn’t and wouldn’t make sense for Kung Lao to don that outfit anyway as that’s what his successor wore, but it would’ve been nice to mix up Kung Lao’s wardrobe by bringing it back, especially as they went to the trouble of making it. Shao Kahn veers towards cosplay at times, perhaps explaining why he only wears his helmet for one scene. He cuts an intimidating figure (even more so considering it’s Meek in a dual role) and I like the shattered skull mask he wears, but he can look a little goofy at times. Outworld is expanded to include Shao Kahn’s cold and empty throne room and the dingy cobalt mines, which rob anyone not from Earth of their supernatural powers. Jeff Meek shines as Rayden, channelling Christopher Lambert’s playful spirit of and marrying it with the demeanour of an exhausted teacher. While he admires human spirit and encourages free will, Rayden impresses the importance of preparing for the next tournament upon Kung Lao and, when he insists on defining his own destiny, Rayden assumes the guise of a beggar to manipulate Siro and Taja into helping Kung Lao escape from Baron Reyland. Rayden knows exactly how to manipulate Siro, questioning his integrity and insulting his pride to push him back to Zhu Zin to aid Kung Lao. Bruce Locke equally steals the show by channelling Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa’s energy and menace to present Shang Tsung is a ruthless and vicious fighter who delights in stealing souls and is consumed with the need to avenge himself.

The ambitious fights counterbalance some cheesy moments and drama to lay the foundation for the show.

While the visual effects are often cartoonish, they’re clearly secondary to more traditional displays of martial arts and stunt work. Although the actors partake in each episode’s fights as much as possible, with Bruce Locke and Daniel Bernhardt putting in more of the work (thanks, largely to the latter’s unique stature and legitimate martial arts background), obvious stunt doubles are used for each fight, with Kristanna Loken noticeably being supplanted. While it’s jarring to edit close ups of the actors to sell the illusion, the fights are very well choreographed, with Christopher Leps, Marcus Young, J.J. Perry, and others bringing a grace and tactile believability to each. The battle between Kung Lao and Shang Tsung reflects the animosity between the two, with Shang Tsung growing increasingly frustrated and Kung Lao exuding the speed and precision that made him Earthrealm’s finest. Even when saddled with perhaps the fakest sword I’ve ever seen, Daniel Bernhardt shines, largely because you recognise that the actor is performing many of his stunts and fights. Siro isn’t as slick and graceful as Kung Lao but exudes physical power, having great reach with his kicks (his flying kick being particularly impressive), even if he is out of his depth against more otherworldly opponents. Though she lacks Kung Lao’s skill and Siro’s raw power, Taja is a scrappy fighter who uses underhanded tactics and is seemingly fearless. Kung Lao’s battles with Scorpion are an obvious highlight, with Casamassa bringing an aggression to Scorpion that paints him as a force to be reckoned with, even more so when tossing his snake-like appendage about (not a euphemism). It’s good that the action is so impressive as the drama between Kung Lao and Jen really drags these episodes down, largely because they lack chemistry and Renton’s awful performance. The sting of these scenes is eased by Meek’s theatrical performance as Shao Kahn, his dry sense of humour as Rayden, and a fun energy to the episodes. I got the sense everyone was having a good time and trying their best to start something, and the framework is definitely here, it would just take a few episodes to be as good as it could be.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Were you a fan of Mortal Kombat: Conquest back in the day? If so, what did you think to these first two episodes? Do you think I was too harsh on Jennifer Renton or do you agree that she was terrible? Which of the three main characters was your favourite and did you enjoy their chemistry? Were you surprised that Jeff Meek played two roles? What did you think of Scorpion’s new origin? Would you like to see a revival of Mortal Kombat: Conquest, or a new TVG show? How are you celebrating Mortal Kombat today? Whatever you think about Mortal Kombat: Conquest, leave a comment below, go check out my other Mortal Kombat content, and sign up to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Mortal Kombat: Conquest episodes for me to cover.

Back Issues [K-Month]: Skull Island: The Birth of Kong

Dr. K1 Comment

In the absolutely bonkers science-fiction film Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), the monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity on 10th August 2013, which was subsequently branded “K-DAY”. To celebrate this event, and giant monster movies, I dedicated every Sunday in August to one of cinema’s most prolific monsters: King Kong!

Writer: Arvid Nelson – Artist: Mohammad “Zid” Yazid

Story Title: “Part One: The People Who Came from the Sky”
Published: 12 April 2017

Story Title: “Part Two: The Mountain Who Thunders Death”
Published: 21 June 2017

Story Title: “Part Three: Valley of the Fallen Gods”
Published: 27 September 2017

Story Title: “Part Four: Over the Rainbow”
Published: 21 November 2017

The Background:
As difficult as it may be to believe now, it was about a hundred years ago that former World War I aviator turned filmmaker Merian C. Cooper thought up the iconic visual of a giant gorilla being shot from the Empire State Building by planes. Though one of the most influential movies of all time, King Kong (Cooper and Schoedsack, 1933) was followed by a comedic sequel, a profitable but polarising clash with Godzilla, a “Suitmation” blunder that ended Toho’s brief stint with the license, an ambitious remake and its much–maligned, blockbuster before the almighty Kong once again rubbing shoulders with Godzilla in the “MonsterVerse”. The foundation for this was laid with Kong: Skull Island (Vogt-Roberts, 2017), a critical and financial success that redesigned and recast Kong as a cantankerous, but benevolent, protector. The film’s success paved the way for future MonsterVerse projects but left many questions about this new Kong unanswered, questions this four-issue miniseries sought to partially address. While far from the first literary adaptation of the famous ape (or even the first comic book in the MonsterVerse library), Skull Island: The Birth of Kong aimed to bridge the gap between the film’s period setting and the modern day. The result was a miniseries lauded for its artwork and deeper exploration of Kong’s backstory, as well as expanding upon the MonsterVerse, while also being criticised for its short length and barebones plot.

The Review:
This tie-in comic series begins in 2012 with the Australian Navy finding a bizarre package bearing the Monarch logo floating in the waters of the South Pacific. Two weeks later, Houston Brooks is brought the item by an old friend and it’s revealed to be a recording device belonging to Aaron, Houston’s son who mysteriously disappeared some time ago. After cracking the device’s password, Houston thinks back to seventeen years prior when he and Aaron got into a heated argument regarding Skull Island. Angered that his father would leave an unpredictable wild animal like Kong to keep the Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms (MUTOs) that have migrated there in check, Aaron stormed out to lead a team of crack monster hunters on an expedition to Skull Island. Knowing full well that his father would be pissed, Aaron compiled a complete record of the venture, which saw him team up with cantankerous cryptobiologist Evgenij Medov, enthusiastic Doctor Evelyn Matemavi, sarcastic survival instructor Helen Karsten, and the mysterious mythographer Walter R. Riccio. Determined to find evidence of Skull Island to expose Monarch’s operation, Aaron led the team through the raging storm that protects the island (with far less difficulty than in Kong: Skull Island) and parachuted to the prehistoric paradise after their plane was downed by Psychovultures. After briefly being awed by the beauty, wonder, and danger of the island, the team prepped to retrieve their pilot, Cejudo, secure their supplies, and make contact with the isolated locals, the Iwi tribe. After a pack of Death Jackals tear Karsten to pieces and critically inure Medov, they’re suddenly saved by Kong, allowing them to take cover in a cave. After stabilising Medov, the group are stunned when a handful of Iwi, led by Ato, greet them in English and bring them to their humble village.

Sceptical Aaron leads a team to Skull Island and finds himself on a sacred pilgrimage.

Confused and realising that Skull Island is full of secrets, Aaron learns that the tribe was taught English by Lieutenant Henry “Hank” Marlow during his tenure trapped there. Aaron is as impressed by this as he is by the Iwi’s construction skills, the healing properties of their various medicines, and the speed that Riccio learns their language and culture. Riccio reveals that their coming was foretold in Iwi legend and then dramatically shares a sudden vision of Kong’s family battling the Skull Crawlers to not only defend the island but also assert themselves as the dominant species. Riccio states that they’re to join the Iwi in Atenatua, a pilgrimage to learn the secrets of Kong. Though Aaron is sceptical of the mysticism, he’s determined to ensure Kong’s capable of keeping the “gateway to hell” shut so the island’s monsters don’t threaten civilisation. Riccio embraces the island’s culture for the pilgrimage, Medov makes a full recovery, and Ato leads them on, with the team amazed by a shipwreck that depicts Kong welcoming the Iwi to the island. They also learn that the “Devils of the island” from Riccio’s visions killed Kong’s parents, the last of their kind by the time the tribe arrived. When the gigantic, crocodile-like Sirenjaw suddenly attacks, the group is chased through the jungle. Luckily, they find the supplies left by Houston’s expedition many years prior, allowing the group to arm themselves. This is avoided, however, by the thunderous roar of Kong and, by the time the team races to the source, they find only the Sirenjaw’s dismembered corpse and a flock of hungry, opportunistic Psychovultures. Although they escape the voracious dinosaurs, they run right into a monstrous Swamp Locust and barely escape into the nearby valley. There, Aaron is horrified to learn that the creatures will probably take a week to finish feasting on the Sirenjaw’s remains, though his spirits lift when Cejudo radios in for help. Despite the damage to the plane, Cejudo reveals he’s flight worthy and offers to evacuate the team. However, Ato states that the only safe landing spot is beyond the bone yard, the home of the Skull Crawlers.

Kong foils Riccio’s mad scheme and makes a believer out of Aaron.

Despite Riccio insisting they complete their pilgrimage, the team head to the bone yard, discovering the skeletal remains of Kong’s family, and are promptly ambushed by Skull Crawlers. Ato leads them to another cave, where Riccio is assaulted by visions of Kong’s birth, which occurred in the heat of battle and saw the newborn Kong witness his parents’ brutal last stand against the creatures and left him the last of his kind. Though touched by Kong’s tragedy, Aaron urges them to press on and ultimately leaves Riccio behind when he insists on completing his “communion” with Kong. Thus, when Cejudo arrives to pick them up, Riccio blasts him from the sky with a rocket launcher, shoots Matemavi dead, and holds them at gunpoint to witness Kong’s divine glory. Riccio even attacks Ato, believing the village must fall for them to truly know whether Kong is an ambivalent, benevolent, or malevolent God. When Death Jackels attack, Aaron leads the others in escaping and realises the Riccio plans to use the explosives left behind by his father’s venture to enact his plan. Between panels, Ato leads them back to the village, too late to stop Riccio, whose actions allow a cluster of Mother Longlegs to rampage through the village. This leaves many dead, including Medov, though Riccio’s mad belief in Kong pays off when the great ape rips the giant spider-things apart. Riccio rejoices and praises Kong, proclaiming the ape the “savior of humankind”, only to be dismissively crushed by Kong’s giant fist. When Kong turns to Aaron, the sceptic becomes a believer when the cantankerous beast simply stares him down and Aaron sees that Kong isn’t some mindless beast, but a force of nature set on defending human life. Thus, Aaron makes his recording and sends it to his father on a makeshift sailboat, staying behind to help the Iwi rebuild and making amends with his dad. Having listened to the recording, Houston prepares to return to Skull Island and reunite with his son and the remainder of the book lists some information on all the beasts seen in the story.

The Summary:
Well, this was a lot of nothing. While Zid’s art is very close to Kong: Skull Island and perfectly captures the island, Kong, and the recognisable monsters that dwell there, the story leaves a lot to be desired, and it feels more like a partial retread of what we saw in the movie. While it’s nice to see the older Houston Brooks again, he basically bookends the paper-thin main plot, which revolves around his son and his vague, childish desire to prove his father wrong and paint Kong as a threat. This motivation doesn’t have much basis given Aaron seems to have no experience with Titans beyond Monarch’s records and his dad’s first-hand account, so it seems to come from simple fear rather than any tangible evidence. Aaron’s belief that Kong isn’t to be trusted and his motives and outburst seem like the actions of a disobedient teenager rather than a grown man, completely fracturing the backbone of the entire plot. It would’ve been so much easier to simply have Houston volunteer or encourage his son to join a routine expedition to Skull Island to witness its wonders and settle his scepticism first-hand, or even have Aaron be kidnapped by cutthroat mercenaries looking to somehow profit from Skull Island, or just have Aaron be a keen scientist like his dad. Forcing a conflict between them added little to the story beyond Aaron’s realisation that his father was right about Kong and learning to respect the delicate balance between the Titans, humanity, and nature, things that could easily have been hammered home just as effectively with my suggested changes.

It’s the impressive monsters and Kong’s tragic backstory that carries this lacklustre story.

If you’re hoping there’s some fun Kong action to make up for this, you’d be sadly mistaken. Kong barely appears here though, to be fair, it’s always an event when he does show up. Fittingly, The Birth of Kong focuses more on teasing the backstory of Kong’s species and how they were annihilated by the Skull Crawlers, effectively visualising the legends that were told in the movie. While this makes for some dramatic and bloody reading and casts Kong in a deeply sympathetic light, it is a shame to not have more of the story revolve around the titular ape as he steals the show whenever he appears. Skull Island’s monstrous natives somewhat make up for this, with some familiar faces (particularly the Mother Longlegs) making quite the visual impact. When Kong battles these creatures, the action is rendered in full, brutal glory, with few to no dialogue boxes to obscure or dilute the spectacle. Everyone is in awe of Kong and sees him as a divine figure, even Aaron, who can’t help but be amazed by the ape. It’s weird that the Iwis suddenly speak English, and somewhat unnecessary since sign language and even the master language expert Riccio could’ve filled in the blanks. Speaking of whom, Riccio really eats up the pages and quickly got on my nerves. While I enjoyed his visions of Kong’s family and violent, tragic birth, it’s weird that he’s the only one hit by these considering the others drank the special Iwi juice and his turn towards madness seemed like a vague repeat of Lieutenant Colonel Preston Packard’s insane obsession with bringing Kong down. Sure, Riccio’s more about proving Kong’s divine nature but it’s a similar, self-destructive downward spiral that didn’t really need to be here as we could’ve just as easily had Ato or even Kong’s dreams show the same information and then spent more time seeing the characters fighting monsters. Ultimately, you’re not missing much if you’ve never read The Birth of Kong. It adds little to the MonsterVerse lore and is probably non-canon these days anyway, so you’re better off sticking with IDW’s Godzilla comics, in my opinion.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever read Skull Island: The Birth of Kong? If so, what do you think to it and were you also disappointed by how barebones it was? Did you enjoy seeing some familiar faces return for some scares? What did you think to the depiction of Kong’s birth? Would you like to see more King Kong comics fleshing out his mysterious island? What’s your favourite version of Kong and how are you celebrating K-Day this month? Whatever your thoughts on King Kong and other Kaiju, please leave a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other King Kong and Kaiju content!