The Date: 3 April 2005 The Venue: Staples Center; Los Angeles, California The Commentary: Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler The Referee: Earl Hebner The Stakes: Six man ladder match for a chance to cash-in on a World Heavyweight Championship at any time within a year
The Build-Up: Since World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) has largely dominated the wrestling landscape, it’s no surprise that the WWE has been at the forefront of creativity, whether with their celebrated Superstars, their impact on pay-per-view entertainment, or the creation of memorable matches. Since 1993, Superstars were given a first-class ticket to a World Championship match at WrestleMania by winning the annual thirty-man Royal Rumble match, and the company had been awing fans with their ladder matches since 1992, with their Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (TLC) matches being some of their most hotly-contested spectacles. It was long-time veteran “Y2J” Chris Jericho who first came up with the idea of combining these concepts in the “Money in the Bank” ladder match, originally pitched as a means to get more names ontothe WrestleMania 21 card, which, in its original inception, saw six men vying for the chance to grab a briefcase that would be their ticket to a championship match. At the time, the WWE was in the midst of their first brand split and only competitors from the Raw brand were involved in the match but, in time, the number and variety of the competitors would increase. There were a number of moving parts involved heading into the match: all of the competitors had crossed paths both in the past and recently, with Jericho and Christian having been at odds with each other since WrestleMania XX, Christian was finally finding his feet as an amoral, egotistical singles star alongside his muscle, Tyson Tomko, and his storyline brother, Edge (who was originally reluctant to be in the match), was just starting to explore his own path as a reprehensible bad guy. Also involved were Chris Benoit (a dependable hand who had spent most of the year in the main event scene as the World Heavyweight Champion), Kane (still in the midst of a run as an unmasked psychopath), and rising star Shelton Benjamin, who was not only the Intercontinental Champion at the time but who had also made an impression by besting Triple H in what should have been star-making performances Raw.
The Match: I’ve always enjoyed ladder matches; they can be extremely gruelling and impressive bouts, especially the tag team and TLC contests that the WWE perfected between 1999 and 2002. The idea of putting some of the best and most physically impressive up-and-comers in a ladder match alongside some reliable hands with a shot at the World Heavyweight Championship on the line was already a great prospect, but the very idea of a Superstar being able to cash-in that briefcase anytime, anywhere really added some much-needed spice into the main event scene. However, I have to say that I think I preferred it when the Money in the Bank ladder match didn’t have it’s own pay-per-view event; it makes sense, of course, since the King of the Ring, Survivor Series, and Royal Rumble matches all got their own events but I think it very quickly diminished the spectacle of the match and the entire concept since you suddenly had annual Money in the Bank pay-per-views running with at least two of the matches on the card, which I do think is a bit of overkill. These matches could easily be spaced out over the year, taking place on WrestleMania or SummerSlam or even special editions of Raw or SmackDown! since it’s a great way to get some names on a card and under the spotlight without draining the crowd with multiple matches in one night. Following the entrances (which included a fantastic visual of the ladders around the entrance ramp bursting into flames when Kane came out), Jericho, Benoit, Christian, and Shelton put aside their differences to intercept Kane on the aisleway in a blatant attempt to target the biggest man in the match, only to be summarily manhandled by the Big Red Machine.
Chaos ensued in the early going, with the ladders and the agile Shelton stealing the show!
This pack mentality continued at ringside as Benoit and Shelton worked together to take Kane out with a double suplex, while Jericho caused a ladder to smack Christian right in the face in the ring before getting into it with Shelton. The youngster ended up eating the canvas off a facebuster and then Jericho successfully fended off Benoit and Edge with a dropkick to the ring apron before he, Christian, and Shelton took it in turns to dive onto the two, though of the three it was Shelton who impressed the most with his running senton splash from the ring to the competitors outside. Not to be outdone, Kane then took all of them out with a diving clothesline of his own before heading into the ring and swatting Edge and Christian with a ladder. Jericho ended this assault with a Missile Dropkick off the top rope and then used the same ladder to brutalise Shelton and Edge before he (and the ladder) got planted with a German Suplex by Benoit! Benoit retrieved the ladder and managed to counter Kane’s Chokeslam into a Crippler Crossface; however, he took a ladder shot right to the face from the Big Red Machine when he had the same hold locked in on Edge and ended up having his left arm pulverised by the ladder courtesy of Kane. Edge put a stop to the assault with a Spear and then rekindled his old partnership with Christian to crush Kane between two ladders before both men were downed by a springboard clothesline from the agile Shelton Benjamin. Although Shelton was able to hit a spin kick on the ladder to take Christian out of the equation, he got hurled into another ladder by Edge but immediately got a little payback by countering Edge’s Spear into a flapjack into the same ladder! Shelton followed this up by crushing Edge against the ladder with a huge Stinger Splash, clearing the ring and allowing him to make a climb for the briefcase; unfortunately, Jericho intercepted him from the other side of the ladder and the two got into a slugfest. Christian, Benoit, and Edge then joined the party, scaling ladders of their own to duke it out up high, each one making a desperate reach for the briefcase, until Christian sacrificed his spot to drive Benoit’s arm into the canvas, Jericho plummeted from his ladder, and Edge was sent crashing off the top courtesy of Shelton’s signature T-Bone Suplex Slam!
The opportunistic Edge bypassed the athleticism of his foes to steal the briefcase for himself!
Chris Jericho recovered first but Christian intercepted him before he could climb, earning him a good old boot to the back of his head for his troubles. This led to the undeniable highlight of the match as Shelton ran up an angled ladder and clotheslined Jericho from the top of another ladder as he was reaching for the briefcase! Absolutely unreal stuff from Shelton here; it boggles my mind that he didn’t get more of a push towards the main event, or a World Championship run! Unfortunately, Christian was on hand to bash Shelton off the ladder with one of his own; Kane then booted the ladder in Christian’s face and tried to murder Shelton by Chokeslamming him out to ringside, but the youngster’s boot got tied up in the ropes and Christian’s “Problem Solver”, Tyson Tomko, took Kane out with a boot before he could do any more damage. Tomko then set up a ladder and gave Christian a boost towards the briefcase, but Kane simply shoved the ladder over and sent Christian spilling onto his bodyguard on the outside! Kane then made a play for the briefcase but he and Jericho ended up toppling to the top rope during their struggle; Benoit then returned to the ring and, despite his bad arm, was able to set up a ladder, scale it, and drop head-first onto Kane’s prone body with his trademark Diving Headbutt that busted open the stitches above the Rabid Wolverine’s eye! Benoit then hauled himself up another ladder and frantically fought off Kane’s attempt at a Chokeslam with repeated headbutts. Although this worked, Edge came out of nowhere with a sickening chair shot to Benoit’s injured arm! Benoit tumbled from the ladder and, with the field clear, Edge was able to scale it, unhook the briefcase, and steal the victory for himself to a chorus of boos! Man, I have to say, this was a hell of fun match; I think the only things that let it down were the short length (though this did add to the entertaining chaos) and the fact that Edge and Benoit kinda disappeared for a bit in the middle there. As weird as it always is seeing Kane in this kind of match, he really held his own; I think a bit more could’ve been done with the other guys ganging up on him, but he definitely made an impression with his power game. The star of the show was, of course, Shelton Benjamin; his agility and innovative offense was absolutely riveting at the time, and it really is a shame he didn’t get a proper run at the top. Everyone else was, of course, brilliant and played their parts well; the match even benefitted from the ladders actually behaving and this really set a high standard for other Money in the Bank ladder matches to follow.
The Aftermath: Most of these guys would continue to mix it up in matches together over the following weeks and months; Chris Jericho unsuccessfully challenged Shelton Benjamin for the Intercontinental Championship at Backlash the following month and Edge scored a big victory at that same event by blasting Chris Benoit with a brick to win their Last Man Standing match. A few months down the line, at Vengeance, Chris Jericho and Christian were challenging for John Cena’s WWE Championship and Kane was embroiled in a feud with Edge that had somehow resulted in the Big Red Machine becoming the heroic avenger after he was betrayed by Lita, a woman he had blackmailed into a relationship and all-but-raped! This of course leads me to the man who benefitted the most from this match; Edge’s victory saw him become an unhinged, despicable character on Raw, one who stole Lita away from Kane and delighted in flaunting their highly sexual relationship on a weekly basis. He even made a chump out of former friend Matt Hardy, who made a dramatic return to the company to get into it with Edge despite the real-life animosity between them as Lita had been sleeping with Edge behind Matt’s back! Edge cemented himself as a top heel on Raw but held onto the Money in the Bank briefcase for about eight months; although he could’ve cashed in his contract at any time, he wisely chose to do so at the conclusion of the 2006 New Year’s Revolution pay-per-view, which saw him blast WWE Champion John Cena with two consecutive Spears to capture his first World Championship. Unfortunately, Edge wouldn’t get to defend the belt at WrestleMania 22 as he lost the title to Cena via submission only one month later; instead, Edge went on to have a brutal hardcore match against Mick Foley that further established him as a top star. Of course, this wasn’t the last Money in the Bank ladder match; the first interpromotional version was held at WrestleMania 22, it was upgraded to an annual pay-per-view event in 2010, and the first-ever women’s Money in the Bank match took place in 2017.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
What did you think to the inaugural Money in the Bank match? Did you like that Edge won the match or would you have liked to see someone else take the win? Were you impressed by Shelton Benjamin’s physicality and would you have liked to see him get a World Championship run? Which of the competitors was your favourite? Were there any competitors you would’ve liked to see included in this first match? What’s your favourite Money in the Bank match? Whatever your thoughts on the Money in the Bank match, share them below or leave a comment on my social media and be sure to check out my other wrestling reviews!
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 2 June 2023 Director: Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing Budget: $100 million Stars: Shameik Moore, Hailee Steinfeld, Oscar Isaac, Jason Schwartzman, Jake Johnson, Daniel Kaluuya, and Brian Tyree Henry
The Plot: Miles Morales/Spider-Man (Moore) is at a crossroads in life when his multi-dimensional friend and crush Gwen Stacy/Spider-Woman (Steinfeld) re-appears, now part of a sprawling society of Spider-People led by Miguel O’Hara/Spider-Man 2099 (Isaac). However, Miles is forced to pick between his world and his family when Doctor Jonathan Ohnn/The Spot (Schwartzman) threatens both, bringing him into conflict with the Spider-Society.
The Background: Back in 2011, writer Brian Michael Bendis made the bold decision to kill off Peter Parker/Spider-Man in the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man (2000 to 2011) and replace him with a younger character, Miles Morales, an African American youth of Puerto Rican descent. Though this caused much controversy at the time. Miles quickly became a popular character and branched out into cartoons, videogames, and even the mainstream Marvel continuity (“Earth-616”). After the poor reception of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Webb, 2014) saw Spider-Man incorporated into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Sony pushed forward with Spider-Man-adacent films separate from the MCU, including the visually spectacularSpider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (Persichetti, Ramsey, and Rothman, 2018), a Miles-centric story that became a critical and commercial success. Production of a sequel began immedately after the release of the first film and the plan was always to expand upon the multiverse concept in the sequel, which would necessitate splitting the sequel into two parts. The film greatly built upon the concept of multiple Spider-People, writers Phil Lord and Christopher Miller were encouraged by infamous Spider-Man producer Avi Arad to include the Spot as an antagonist, and different art and animation styles were painstakingly incorporated to make each character unique. After being delayed due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse opened to a massive $563.1 million worldwide gross and universal praise; critics loved the visuals and action-packed adventure and the road seems clear for subsequent sequels and spin-offs.
The Review: It’s probably not too surprising to say that I really enjoyed Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. While I don’t always agree or like that a street level superhero like Spider-Man is so often at the epicentre of massive multiversal stories, it was a breath of fresh air as both a superhero and animated film. The visual storytelling on offer was nothing short of spectacular and I think it went a long way to cementing in the minds of the mainstream audience that there is more than one Spider-Man out there. That groundwork is taken to the nth dimension in the highly anticipated sequel, which picks up with Miles just over a year after the last movie and finds him a little older, a lot more confident with his spider powers and unique abilities (such as his electrical “venom sting” and camouflage ability), and generally pretty beloved by the citizens of New York City. He has a working relationship with his father, soon-to-be Captain Jefferson Morales (Henry), who remains ignorant of his son’s dual identity, and has made a name for himself as the heroic friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man. Unfortunately, as is often the case for Spider-Man, this success doesn’t translate to every aspect of his life; despite his high grades, his absence from school has been noted and he’s under pressure to take his first tentative steps into adulthood, something made all the more difficult for him not just because of his responsibilities as Spider-Man but his guilt about lying to his parents about his extracurricular activities and the smothering he receives from his doting mother, Rio Morales (Luna Lauren Vélez), who struggles as much as Jefferson with how quickly Miles is growing and the fear of losing him to the wider world.
Miles and Gwen reconnect, only for him to realise the multiverse harbours great hardship.
Because of this, Miles feels very alone; while his roommate (and only friend), Ganke Lee (Peter Sohn) knows his secret identity, he’s mainly just a cameo and refuses to be Miles’ “guy in the chair” and, since Miles doesn’t dare reveal himself to his parents, he’s left pining for Gwen and internalising a lot of his issues, particularly his grief for his beloved uncle, Aaron Davis/The Prowler (Mahershala Ali),. His only true freedoms come from his artwork and his web-slinging; Spider-Man offers Miles a freedom unlike anything else and allows his confident, snarky attitude to rise to the forefront, but this ends up biting him the ass when he treats newly turned supervillain the Spot like an afterthought, causing the former physicist to exponentially increase his power to avenge himself on Spider-Man. Miles initially thinks very little to the Spot, especially when Gwen suddenly reappears in his life; the film’s opening delves much deeper into Gwen’s own tragic backstory, which saw her isolate herself from others after the death of her best friend, Peter Parker (Jack Quaid), after he’d transformed himself into a lizard-man. Since her father, Captain George Stacy (Shea Whigham) blames Spider-Woman for Peter’s death, Gwen is similarly unable to properly open up to her dad and, when he first meets Spider-Man 2099 and the enigmatic Jessica Drew/Spider-Woman (Issa Rae), she’s granted an opportunity to leave her world behind rather than face her pain. Although it’s fairly clear that Gwen has missed Miles as much as he has her, she remains guarded; her duties to the Spider-Society dictate that she has to keep her distance from Miles, but she can’t help reconnecting with him since he’s the only friend she has in the entire multiverse, despite all the new allies she’s made. Her affection for him drives her to hide the Spider-Society’s true purpose from him since he’s destined to rise through horrible tragedy, yet she can’t help but admire his enthusiasm and desire to do the right thing, saving everyone whenever possible, even in the face of overwhelming odds.
Miles’s disregard of the Spot is nothing compared to the wrath of the ruthless Spider-Man 2099.
This is just one of many reasons why Miles follows Gwen through an interdimensional portal to Earth-50101, where they encounter the free-spirited and confident Pavitr Prabhakar/Spider-Man India (Karan Soni). Joined by Gwen’s fellow Spider-Society member, the anarchist and anti-authoritarian Hobart “Hobie” Brown/Spider-Punk (Kaluuya), the four team up to tackle the Spot once more after he escapes, realises the vast potential of his organic dimensional portals, and seeks to add to his power by absorbing energy from particle accelerators across the multiverse. While the Spot might be a deranged, deluded villain who struggles with his often-unpredictable powers, his confidence and mania grow alongside his powers, transforming him into a nightmarish creature capable of ripping entire timelines to shreds. A strange bond links him to Miles, allowing the young Spider-Man to see glimpses of the future and act accordingly; however, this is the catalyst that brings him under the scrutiny of Spider-Man 2099 since Miles interfered with a “canon event”, a life-altering moment in Pavitr’s destiny that was fated to make him a greater hero. The consequence of altering this sees Pavitr’s world threatened by a raging black hole, something Spider-Man 2099 has witnessed happen first-hand after he innocently replaced a version of himself and was forced to watch his surrogate family and timelines vaporise before his eyes as a result. Thanks to his connection to the Spot, Miles realises that his father’s death is set to be his canon event and his natural instinct is to save him, only to be imprisoned and threatened by Spider-Man 2099 and the majority of the Spider-Society since they cannot allow one life to threaten the delicate tapestry of the titular Spider-Verse. A stoic, aggressive, and driven individual, Spider-Man 2099 is absolutely relentless in his pursuit of Miles; he has no compunction about ordering the entire Spider-Society to pursue him when he escapes and tries to break him, mentally and physically, rather than allow him to risk his entire world. His ruthless pursuit casts Spider-Man 2099 as much of a villain as the Spot; though he maintains that he’s doing what’s necessary to keep the multiverse stable, his actions have caused great personal tragedy for countless Spider-People, though many of his followers (including Miles’ mentor, Peter B. Parker (Johnson), and Gwen) are strangely onboard with Miguel’s methods since it’s deemed necessary to birth greater heroes.
The Nitty-Gritty: This questionable morality is as much at the heart of Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse as its ruminations of life, responsibility, and adulthood. The film is surprisingly complex in its portrayal of Miles’ relationship to his parents; both feel they’re losing him since he’s becoming a young adult and are frustrated by his obvious lies, and Miles equally is torn between wanting to share himself with them and the fear that they won’t understand. Gwen witnessed this rejection first-hand when her father initially reacted in horror at finding out Spider-Woman was his daughter and was inspired by Miles to return to her father and reconcile with him since she’s tired of running from her path and feeling alone and is struggling with her actions since joining the Spider-Society. Both Miles and Gwen feel alone and like they have no one to confide in, but only Miles feels ostracised from everyone; his friends, family, and even the wider Spider-Verse since Gwen is cagey about their recruitment specifics, and he seems to be the only Spider-Man not part of the team. This is because he hasn’t had his canon event yet, but the film’s a little iffy on that: here, it seems to be the death of a police captain that spurs the Spider-People on, yet Miles lashes out at the various Spider-People for letting down the teachings of their uncles and both Miles and Gwen already suffered tragic losses that you’d think would be catalyst enough for their growth as heroes. I do think that the reveal of the Spider-Society’s true purpose should’ve been handled differently as it’s weird to me that so many Peter Parkers were willing to let even one person die, no matter the stakes, and I wonder if it would’ve been better to reveal that Spider-Man 2099 had been deceiving all of them.
The film’s stunning visuals allow each Spdier-Person to stand out amidst various bizarre universes.
As intense and thought-provoking as the character interactions and themes of the movie are, Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse excels in its visuals. The film takes the unique frame rate and cartoonish, comic book-stylings of the first movie and ups the ante to make every Spider-Person feel unique. Gwen’s world is rendered very differently from Miles’s, being mostly pastels and having an almost brushstroke effect; Spider-Punk animates jerkily, like a living piece of Sex Pistols artwork, and the attention to detail in the animation, background details, and little things like thought boxes and sound effects popping up onscreen really add to the exhilarating, pop art appeal of the film. There are some gorgeous shots here, too, such as when Miles and Gwen sit upside down and gaze upon the inverted city, rain and night effects are used for fantastic dramatic detail, and I especially enjoyed how 2099 was brought to life as a sprawling, high-tech utopia above ground and a dark, depressing, neon-spawned underbelly below. This translates into the web-slinging, which is easily the best we’ve ever seen from a Spider-Man movie since the action is only limited to the animator’s imagination. All the Spider-People web-sling and fight differently, with the pregnant Jessica Drew doing her best Akira(Otomo, 1988) on her motorcycle and spewing webs from her fingertips, Spider-Punk leaping into battle with a guitar, and Pavitr incorporating a little wooden accessory into his webbing. For me, the standout in this regard was Spider-Man 2099; as morally reprehensible and ruthless as he appears, his fighting style and web-slinging are a force to be reckoned with. Utilising energy webs and sporting both talons, fangs, and bladed appendages alongside his bad-ass suit, Spider-Man 2099 is more feral than the other Spider-People and carves a swath of destruction in his pursuit of and attack upon Miles. Although clearly outmatched, Miles manages to elude and survive even Spider-Man 2099 thanks to being an “anomaly”; the spider that bit him wasn’t even from his Earth, making him unpredictable (and, for Miguel, potentially dangerous) and accounting for his ability to fend off multiple, more experienced Spider-People and exercise a moral integrity that’s sadly abandoned many of his counterparts.
An exhilarating cliff-hanger sees Miles’ attempts to save his dad, and his world, in jeopardy.
This all comes to a head when Miles frantically uses Spider-Man 2099’s elaborate, spider-based machine to return home, desperate to save his father’s life and keep his world from being consumed by the Spot’s wrath, only to find that he’s been deposited on the wrong Earth. This is quite the twist for both Miles and Gwen, who followed him to try and help, and doubly so since Miles actually found the courage to reveal his dual identity to his mother, only to be stunned to find that his uncle is alive and well in this world, which lacks a Spider-Man since its spider bit him instead. Here, Miles finds himself strung up and held at the mercy of his uncle and his Earth-42 counterpart (Jharrel Jerome), a bad kid who has taken up the mantle of the Prowler. With Spider-Man 2099 and his lieutenants scouring the multiverse to find Miles and keep him from saving his father’s life, Gwen reconciles with her father and recruits her own band of Spider-People to help Miles and end the film on a massive and exhilarating cliff-hanger. I can’t say that I saw this twist ending coming at all; the film is so enjoyable to watch that I would’ve happily sat through another hour of it, and things were really ramping up at the end so it’s exciting to imagine where the next part will go and seeing Miles reunite with his friends from the first movie. The entire film is stuffed with cameos from Spider-People from all across the multiverse, including live-action cameos from the likes of Andrew Garfield and Donald Glover (as an alternative version of the Prowler), persistent voice cameos from J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson (proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that J.K. just is Jonah in every dimension), and references to both past and current versions of Spider-Man (the recentmultiverseshenanigans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe are mentioned at one point). It never feels glorified or out of place, to be fair, and it’s fun spotting and following some of these background Spider-People, though again I do find it odd that so many subscribe to Spider-Man 2099’s logic. There was a point where Miguel is seen injecting himself with something, and Miles points out how he’s more like a vampire than a spider, so I wonder if this’ll factor into the next film, perhaps revealing that Miguel is actually his brother, Gabriel, or someone like Morlun. There’s also the threat of the Spot to wrap up, too; I liked how he was driven to prove himself, just like Mils, but went to destructive extremes and I’m sure that’ll result in a spectacular final showdown involving more than a few Spider-People!
The Summary: I was blown away by Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse. I expected it to be a visual treat but it overdelivered in this regard; I loved how all the Spider-People looked and felt very different, even if just in small ways, to really emphasise that all these different versions are just as valid and “real” as the other. You could spend hours going through every frame looking for cameos and little details, like frames of animation and visual quirks, and still not catalogue everything on offer here; at times it’s almost underwhelming, but it results in easily the best visually impressive Spider-Man action we’ve ever seen in cinema. At then, alongside all that, there’s a really heartfelt and relatable story of a kid trying to find his place in the world, somewhere to belong, and mature into adulthood. I really felt for both Miles and Gwen here and enjoyed how they had such a strong connection together, and it was harrowing seeing him being excluded from even her world because of things he wasn’t yet experienced enough to understand. I loved how Spider-Man 2099 was so tortured by his mistakes that he’s hell-bent on ensuring that no other worlds die because of a Spider-Person’s selfishness; it made his motivations very understandable and contributed to his manic aggression, but also made for a compelling antagonistic character. The Spot may be a joke, but he becomes a force to be reckoned with throughout the movie and I’m excited to see how he’ll be brought down and the further clash of webs and ideals between the various Spider-People. While I took issue with so many Peters and Peter proxies signing up to Miguel’s harsh philosophy, it doesn’t take away from how stunning this movie is as a piece of art. Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse has raised the bar not just for Spider-Man movies, but for the animation genre itself and, while I would still like to step away from multiverse shenanigans in Spider-Man movies, it’s hard to deny how incredible impressive and well-executed this film is.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
Did you enjoy Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse? What did you think of the different animation styles of the various Spider-People? Which of the alternative Spider-Man was your favourite? What did you think to Miles’ struggles? Do you agree with Spider-Man 2099 or do you think that the other Spider-People are betraying the core concepts of their characters? What other Spider-People would you like to see in the next film? Whatever your opinions on Across the Spider-Verse, go ahead and drop them in the comments and be sure to check out my other Spider-Man content across the site!
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 4 November 2022 Director: Andy Muschietti Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $200 to 220 million Stars: Ezra Miller, Sasha Calle, Michael Keaton, and Ben Affleck
The Plot: After realising the true extent of his superspeed, Barry Allen/The Flash (Miller) travels back in time to prevent the death of his mother, Nora (Maribel Verdú), and ends up breaking the timeline and teaming up with an alternative version of Bruce Wayne/Batman (Keaton) in order to set things right.
The Review: The Flash is one of the last holdouts of the DCEU as it existed for about ten years. It’s a film that has been so much development strife that I’m surprised it even got made and has always been something of an anomaly. On the one hand, producing solo movies for DC characters after their big team up is certainly one way to catch up to and separate themselves from the MCU, as is producing darker, grittier movies but that didn’t exactly last long, did it? I was actually onboard with the idea of each DCEU solo film featuring a team up between two of their characters to help speed things up, but my faith in The Flash was tainted by three very specific things. The first was Ezra Miller, who I’ve never really enjoyed in the role as he acts more like Bart Allen/Impulse than the more methodical Barry; the second was the decision to prey on nostalgia by bringing back Michael Keaton rather than actually try to solve the DCEU’s bonkers multiverse by resetting into Robert Pattinson’s new world; and the third was the bizarre decision to have the Flash’s first solo outing be an adaptation of Flashpoint(Johns, et al, 2011), a universe-altering event that not only ushered in one of the worst DC runs of all time for me but also painted Barry as a selfish and misguided man who broke the multiverse for the worst. I’ve talked about this a few times, but I don’t necessarily hate the idea of the multiverse, I just think it’s the sort of thing you should build up to, not rush into before we’ve had a chance to connect with the existing characters, and some of these issues are certainly present in The Flash.
Socially awkward Barry is astonished when his selfishness beaks the timeline.
The tone of the movie is established right off the bat as we catch up with Barry, still a forensic scientist and still as neurotic as ever. In a way, I understand Ezra’s portrayal of Barry as a constantly agitated, awkward social recluse; for him, even mundane tasks take too long and he’s constantly jittery thanks to the Speed Force, which allows him to run superhumanly fast, even up walls and in defiance of gravity, and to vibrate his molecules so he can pass through solid objects. However, Barry was clearly more than a little maladjusted before he got his powers; flashbacks tohis childhood show young Barry (Ian Loh) obsessing over numbers and quandaries and struggling to focus on one task at a time. Barry’s social skills haven’t improved all that much since his time with the Justice League; he talks rapidly and about absolute nonsense, goes off on tangents, and generally seems incredibly uncomfortable in social situations, even more so when gorgeous reporter Iris West (Kiersey Clemons) tries to approach him and his immediate assumption is that she’s looking for an exclusive comment regarding his wrongly imprisoned father, Henry (Ron Livingston). Barry’s been tormented by his mother’s death and championing his father’s innocence since he was a kid, and it’s heavily implied that a lot of his neurosis is due to losing his mother to a random murder, to the point where he’s constantly driven to use any means necessary to prove his father’s innocence and haunted by his grief. Thus, when he realises (or remembers, depending on your perspective; both appear valid here) that he can effectively time travel using the Speed Force, Barry can’t help but use his abilities to save his mother despite Bruce Wayne/Batman’s (Ben Affleck) warning that meddling with time, even in minor ways, could be disastrous.
Barry’s time travel shenanigans see him confronting the worst of himself to make things right.
At first, Barry is elated to see that one small change sees him having a happy childhood with both his parents; however, after a demonic figure knocks him out of the Speed Force, he accidentally winds up in 2013 rather than the present day. Again, this is fine at first as he reconnects with his parents, but he’s soon forced to tackle his younger, even more obnoxious and aggravating self and realises that he’s altered time in such a way that Young Barry won’t get his powers unless he intervenes. This is a great way to show the Flash’s origin in a unique way, but it predictably results in Barry losing his powers because of Young Barry’s stupidity and then having to desperately try and train his younger self to realise the scope of his super speed when General Zod (Michael Shannon) and his forces have come seeking Kal-El (Henry Cavill) and Barry learns that his actions have somehow robbed the world of metahumans. Barry’s interactions with Young Barry teach him some valuable lessons about how annoying he can be; his younger self is ridiculously excitable even before he starts flashing about with reckless abandon and takes his life and happiness for granted, which frustrates Barry almost as much as seeing how his selfishness has “broken” the timeline. Young Barry is confused by the entire situation and mainly stoked to suddenly have awesome powers and be hanging around the Batcave; he’s like a kid with a new toy when he borrows the Flash suit and learns that he’s destined to be a superhero, but he hasn’t had to deal with loss like his older, alternate self and so treats the missions as more of a game. Over the course of the movie, the gravity of the situation eventually sinks in; the Barrys have a relationship akin to squabbling siblings, which is quite endearing when they’re not being annoying or aggravating characters, and Young Barry’s eventual determination to both prove himself and prevent his newfound friends from dying serves as a crucial wake-up call for Barry to realise that he needs to let go of his past and his pain in order to save the entire multiverse.
The undo the damage he’s caused, Barry turns to an older, alternate version of Batman.
Although the Justice League are absent from Barry’s meddling, he’s relieved to learn that Bruce Wayne and the Batman still exist, so he coerces Young Barry into travelling to Wayne Manor to recruit Bruce’s help in locating Superman, the only one powerful enough to oppose Zod. Barry’s stunned to find the manor once again in disarray and Bruce an elderly recluse, and even more shocked to see he’s an entirely different person! This Bruce is conveniently as clued in on multiverse theory as Barry’s Bruce and explains (using pasta as a metaphor) how Barry’s actions have caused changes all throughout time as time isn’t linear and instead intersects at multiple points. Though intrigued by Barry’s story, Bruce refuses to actively help; his Gotham City has become one of the safest places in the world and outgrew the need for a Batman, which apparently was enough for him to give up his crusade both in and out of the suit. However, he can’t help but listen in as Barry uses the Batcomputer to locate Superman and, inspired by Barry’s dedication to saving a world that isn’t even his, he decides to suit up and help out. Though older and jaded, Batman is no less capable; he has a wealth of gadgets on hand to help them break into the Russian facility where Superman’s pod is being held and is surprisingly a far more capable fighter in his twilight years than at his peak. Keaton was a selling point of the film (and for many, I’m sure) and, while I was annoyed that we went backwards rather than forwards with the character, it’s a blast to see him back in the suit and assuming a proactive mentor role. Keaton definitely steals the show (thanks in no small part to his upgraded suit (despite the poor cowl), assortment of other suits, and snippets of Danny Elfman’s theme) and Batman finds his passion again in aiding Barry’s quest, to the point where he’s willing to sacrifice his life to save the world.
The traumatised Supergirl ends up being the best shot at opposing General Zod’s mad ambitions.
Barry’s goal for much of the film is to find Superman. He’s convinced that Superman will be able to defeat Zod as before, thus saving the world and allowing him to live in a timeline with both his parents. Like him running to Batman, much of this can be attributed to displacement; he screwed up and knows it, and his kneejerk reaction is to “fix” it like he tried to with Nora. However, when he finds that it’s not Superman but an emaciated Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Calle), he doesn’t hesitate to help her and, despite her having every reason to hate humanity after they made her suffer in a cage for years, she’s compelled to aid him after witnessing Zod slaughter humans without mercy. Kara is instrumental in helping Barry regain his powers when Bruce’s makeshift device fails on him, finally restoring Barry to full power, and she’s driven into a rage when she learns that Zod intercepted her infant cousin’s pod and killed him in his relentless quest to restore Krypton to prominence. As much as I enjoyed seeing Michael Keaton back in action, I went into The Flash equally as excited for Supergirl; Sasha looks gorgeous in the suit and plays the role (essentially substituting for Superman from Flashpoint) really well. She’s suffered greatly not just at the hands of humanity but in losing her world and initially has no interest in helping Barry; like Bruce, she’s inspired by him and his selfless nature and desire to undo his mistake and throws herself into the battle against Zod, and she proves to be the catalyst for an emotional showdown between the two Barry’s. Surprisingly, The Flash doesn’t really have a main antagonist; on paper, it’s Zod and the Kryptonian threat but really the main villain is time and Barry himself. Stopping Zod is seen as the primary goal to course correct this new timeline, and he proves to be as ruthless as ever as he cuts down anyone in his way, including the fledgling Supergirl, and proves such an insurmountable threat that Young Barry becomes obsessed with reversing time again and again to find a way to stop him and save Batman and Supergirl from falling in battle.
The Nitty-Gritty: A principal theme in The Flash is of dealing with loss; it’d be difficult for anyone, much less the socially awkward Barry, to come to terms with the traumatic loss of their mother and subsequent imprisonment of their father, and dealing with this loss and the frustrating lack of evidence in favour of his father is very much at the heart of Barry’s motivations not just as a superhero, but in this film. This, as much as anything, is perhaps why he relates so closely to Bruce; while he resents being a glorified janitor for the Justice League, he connects with Bruce over their shared pain but is far too reckless and impulsive to heed his advice regarding meddling with time. However, Barry is switched on enough to recognise when he’s screwed up but it takes him much of the movie to realise that he can’t just “fix” things as easily as he would like, and he literally comes face to face with his neurotic obsession with undoing the bad when Young Barry realises the potential of the Speed Force. Although both are driven to do good things, Young Barry is inexperienced and less adjusted compared to his counterpart, and Barry’s hardly setting a high standard for responsibility here as it is! Still, the entire reason the alternate Bruce and Supergirl agree to aid Barry is by seeing that he has a drive towards protecting others, despite his flaws as a character.
While some effects are a bit dodgy, The Flash is visually impressive, especially the costumes.
I think a major issue with The Flash is the same thing that was present in his previous appearances; there’s nothing new happening here for the character. His plight about Nora and Henry has been expertly tackled in The Flash (2014 to 2023), as was the Flashpoint story, parallel worlds, and alternate characters. I understand that many audiences might not have watched the show so these aspects would be new to them, but the presentation of Nora’s death isn’t as compelling as in the comics or TV show since it isn’t attributed to a dark mirror of the Flash. Similarly, Iris may as well not even be in the film since she doesn’t really do anything and is basically a glorified cameo, as cute as she is and despite the potential she has for a future relationship with Barry. On the flip side, the presentation of the Flash’s powers is generally quite visually exciting; sure, we’ve seen the super slow-motion speed scenes before but never with a character saving a bunch of babies plummeting from a collapsing hospital. I quite like how destructive Barry’s speed and lightning can be; he now sports a sleek, comic accurate suit that glows when he channels the Speed Force and monitors his “energy” (basically a recurring gag where he stuffs himself full of carbs to refuel) and Barry has far better control over his speed, but Young Barry still has the wild, destructive blue lightning and is constantly getting into scrapes as his clothes burn up. Similarly impressive are the new Batsuits and Bat-gadgets and Supergirl’s eye-watering suit; Keaton’s Batman also flies and fights with a grace never seen before, and I was impressed by good his and Affleck’s stunt doubles performed in their new suits. I also enjoyed the depiction of the Speed Force and time travel; we get a bit of spaghetti-fication as Barry travels faster than light and, within his bubble, he can view multiple timelines at once and engage with them as he likes, though Ezra continues to have a weird weightlessness to him and the strangest running stance I’ve ever seen.
With the sake of his friends, and the multiverse, at stake, Barry makes the ultimate sacrifice.
Devoid of his powers, Barry has no choice but to rely on Batman and his exasperating younger self for much of the middle film. Young Barry proves a poor student but, to be fair, he has a lot of pressure suddenly thrust upon him and lacks the years of training Barry has (which we get a glimpse of with another flashback that shows the proto-Flash was also in Metropolis when Zod invaded). Given how dire Zod’s threat is, Barry risks his life being struck by lightning once more to regain his powers and his substitute Justice League fly into battle against the Kryptonians. However, even with Supergirl and Batman’s amazing Bat-toys, it’s an unwinnable battle; no matter how hard Young Barry tries, he can’t prevent Batman and Supergirl being killed in the battle and his obsession with trying to prevent it horrifies Barry when he sees the damage it causes both to Young Barry and the multiverse. Within the Speed Force, Barry sees a bevvy of cameos (including deepfakes of Christopher Reeve, Helen Slater, and Nicolas Cage and archival footage of Adam West and George Reeves but, oddly, no cameo from Grant Gustin) as worlds and timelines collide and are destroyed by his increasingly manic double. Young Barry’s obsession then takes physical form when the demonic entity reappears and is revealed to be an older version of Young Barry, one who’s spent untold years desperately trying to find a way to succeed and has become so corrupted by this notion that he doesn’t care about the damage he’s causing. Finally learning that he needs to let go and restore the timeline, Barry resolves to undo his actions, thus dooming his mother; although Young Barry is aghast by this, he’s so disgusted by dark doppelgänger that he sacrifices his life to save Barry, thus erasing himself and the Dark Flash. After a heartfelt, incognito goodbye to his mother, Barry resets time but, apparently having learnt nothing about temporal causality, can’t himself from making another minor change. This is enough to see Henry acquitted for his crimes and apparently restores the world to normal…if you don’t count Bruce Wayne being changed once more, this time into George Clooney and ending the movie on a hefty sigh rather than truly restarting or rebooting the DCEU as I expected.
The Summary: I was sceptical about The Flash. I’m not a fan of Ezra Miller or his portrayal of the character, I feel it came out way past the point where it could’ve actually been meaningful, I definitely was miffed that it was skipped right to Flashpoint rather than focusing on the Flash’s rogues, and I questioned the heavy reliance on Michael Keaton’s return as Batman. I grew up with Keaton; he was an excellent Batman and set a standard for others to follow but bringing him in just seemed like such a blatant trick to get people to see this film that I was sure it would be terrible. Thankfully, despite these issues being the case, that wasn’t true, and I enjoyed it more than I expected. Barry is, however, a fundamentally awful and often unlikeable character because of how whiny, awkward, and ungainly he is; I did like seeing him interact with his younger self and realising how obnoxious he can be, and the character arc of him learning to let go of the past was executed well, even if it was very derivative. The film suffers a bit from some wonky special effects (the deepfakes were especially unnerving) but mostly delivers some fun visuals with the Flash’s powers and I loved the practical suits used in the film. It was awesome giving Keaton one last crack at the character, but I can’t help but feel like The Flash missed an opportunity to properly re-align the DCU. Instead, the message here, again, is that the multiverse exists, and everything is canon as it’s all connected, which is fine, but I honestly prefer the focus to be on one singular continuity. Still, The Flash was quite fun and had some thrilling action scenes, especially those involving the Bat-actors’ stunt doubles. The primary themes of the film landed well, too, even if Barry just seems like a selfish, petulant child most of the time, and I was glad (and surprised) to find that it just about managed to hold its head above water amidst all the clarified cameos and references.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Did you enjoy The Flash? Were you disappointed that it skipped to Flashpoint or were you simply won over by the cameos? Do you enjoy Ezra Miller’s portrayal of the character and what did you think to the relationship between Barry and Young Barry? Were you excited to see Michael Keaton return or did you think it was weird how the only character who changed faces was Bruce Wayne? Who’s your favourite version of the Flash and where do you see the DCEU going next? Whatever your thoughts, please leave a comment below or on my social media.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: November 1992 Developer: Tiertex Design Studios Also Available For: Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, C64, DOS, Game Boy, Game Gear, MSX, Master System, Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), ZX Spectrum
A Brief Background: In 1981, legendary director Steven Spielberg joined forces with George Lucas and Harrison Ford to bring the first Indiana Jones film to cinema screens; inspired by both old serial films and theJames Bond franchise, the three crafted an action/adventure film that was so critically and commercially successful that it kicked off one of cinema’s most beloved franchises, helped launch Harrison Ford to superstardom, and fundamentally changed the cinema rating system. Naturally, given the franchise’s success, the Indiana Jones films and character have been adapted into books, comics, and videogames; the first Indiana Jones videogame was a simple 8-bit adventure for the Atari but it was the third film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade(Spielberg, 1989) that received the most love back in the day, with three titles released across multiple platforms between 1989 and 1991. This particular game was the more action-orientated version and was met with divisive reviews that praised the presentation but criticised the content, combat, and difficulty of the game.
First Impressions: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Action Game (boy, is that ever a mouthful!) is a 2D, sidescrolling action/adventure game in which players assume the role of the titular archaeologist and adventurer. The controls couldn’t be simpler; by default, you press A to punch, B to attack or swing with your whip, and C to jump, but you can customise these inputs as you desire. Indy can also duck and crawl through tunnels, attacking as he goes, climb up and down ropes (lashing out with his whip to take out enemies), and can swing from certain objects simply by whipping near them. Although Indy doesn’t seem to utilise his pistol, his whip can be used to take out enemies from afar, but the more you use it, the weaker it becomes, as indicated by the whip icons decreasing with each button press. Luckily, you can replenish this by finding whip pick-ups in suitcases and you can still use the whip even after exhausting your supply. Indy’s mission is to travel across a number of levels (referred to as “Scenes”) from the movie, exploring hazardous environments and reaching the exit before the timer runs out. Players can pick between “Easy” and “Hard” difficulty modes and are given two lives and two credits on Easy mode, which you’ll quickly realise is nowhere near enough to help you get through his unforgiving title. Literally everything around you is out to get you; Indy will even lose health if he jumps and hits his head on the ceiling, to say nothing of the falling stalactites, boulders, and armed enemies looking to quickly drain his health and leave him little more than his trademark hat.
Don’t be fooled by the graphics or your love of the franchise: this game is absolutely merciless!
Gameplay is given a little bit of variety thanks to the gimmicks found in each Scene; you’ll get to jump in a minecart in the caves, for example, but will need quick reactions to hop from one cart to another, and to a rope, to avoid plummeting to your death. The second Scene sees you running across train carriages jumping over telegraph poles, ducking through tunnels, and avoiding giraffe heads and snake pits as you desperately try to progress without falling. You can also grab flaming torches to light up dark areas, but you’ll need to watch out for spikes that instantly kill you, bursts of flame from the ceiling, and make precarious jumps up a castle wall in rain-swept Venice. Enemies are all largely generic and look the same in each Scene and can punch and shoot at you, though they’re easily defeated in a few hits. Unfortunately, Indy’s punch is pathetically short and you’re more likely to take damage engaging with them, so it’s best to just avoid combat or use your whip wherever possible, though none of that will save you from the game’s many instant death traps or the fact that you take damage from jumping! Water, snake pits, train tracks, and skeletons will instantly kill Indy, meaning there is very little margin for error, and you’ll not only have to deal with some merciless knockback but often need split second reactions to dodge damaging (or instant death) traps after besting each Scene’s boss. Indy can find goblets to replenish his health and sand timers to increase the time, but you’re constantly walking on eggshells as so much can either hurt you or out-right kill you that it makes playing the game a frustrating chore and Indy, one of cinema’s toughest action heroes, weak as a kitten.
My Progression: Technically, I couldn’t even get past the first Scene; I inched my way onwards only to fall victim either to accumulated damage or an instant death trap, made all the worse by how large and unforgiving Indy’s hit box is. Thus, I used the one and only cheat for the game, which is a level select code; this not only lets you pick the Scene to start on, but the starting point as well (the game is filled with hidden checkpoints), which is very handy for seeing later areas of the game or battling bosses. I fought the first three bosses, the first being a strongman with a huge piece of wood that he swings at you to knock you to the instant death water and smashes on the ground to cause rocks to fall on you, the second being a bulbous fire-breather whose flames you need to quickly duck or jump over while frantically whipping him, and the third a Native American who shoots high and low arrows at you, but I shut the game off shortly after besting this boss.
I was really hoping for a challenging, but fun, action/adventure title and instead what I got was a torturous and ridiculously difficult title that no doubt had many kids pulling their hair out back in the day. When you struggle, or can’t, get past the first level, to me that’s the sign of a bad game and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Action Game reeks of being cobbled together to cash-in on the movie by having kids rent it over and over just to get past the first damn level! It’s a shame as there’s a lot to like here. Graphically, the game looks really well; Indy doesn’t really have an idle animation, but he looks and controls pretty well, and games environments are all nicely detailed. The sound is pretty good too, with a decent rendition of the iconic Indiana Jones theme, but the game is just too difficult to really enjoy. It’s a shame as I’m a big fan of the franchise and was hoping this would be a decent little action platformer, but it kicked my ass the moment I pressed the jump button under a low ceiling and Indy is just way too fragile for the game to be as enjoyable as I would like. But maybe I just suck. Maybe you’ve beaten this game multiple times, or really enjoy it. Or maybe you prefer a different Indiana Jones videogame. Whatever your thoughts or experiences on the subject, sign up to share them below or leave a comment on my social media.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 5 August 2022 Director: Dan Trachtenberg Distributor: 20th Century Studios / Disney+ Budget: $65 million Stars: Amber Midthunder, Dakota Beavers, Bennett Taylor, Michelle Thrush, and Dane DiLiegro
The Plot: In 1719, on the Great Plains, Comanche warrior Naru (Midthunder) finds herself fighting to protect her people not only from French fur traders destroying the buffalo they rely on for survival but also from a vicious, humanoid alien (DiLiegro) that hunts humans for sport!
The Review: Prey kind of came out of nowhere for me; I suspected that Disney would want to profit from their acquisition of 20th Century Fox’s properties but it seemed as though the franchise was sadly dead in the water after the disastrous effort that was The Predator. As someone who thoroughly enjoyed Predators, I had been hoping for some kind of follow-up to that film’s cliff-hanger and, instead, we got this weird mish-mash of a bunch of elements from the previous three films and a controversial depiction of autism as some kind of superpower. I enjoyed the effects, some of the characters and humour, and a few aspects of The Predator but it still dropped the ball and I was convinced that the next step at trying to kick-start the franchise would be to lure back either Arnold Schwarzenegger or Danny Glover (or both) and drop us back in the jungle again. For me, each Predator film should try something different; I might not be a fan of AVP: Alien vs. Predator(Anderson, 2004) but at least it was unique in its snow setting, its three Predators, and the clash between alien species so I was intrigued by the idea of a prequel. Dropping the highly advanced and adaptable alien hunter into an era where automatic weapons and modern technology weren’t really a thing is a great way to recapture the raw nature of the first film, especially the final act where Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer (Schwarzenegger) is left to rely on his “Boy Scout shit” to survive, and I’d love to see the Predator picking soldiers off the battlefield in No Man’s Land, stalking cowboys in the Old West, or lurking in the misty shadows of Plague-era London almost as much as I’d enjoy visiting their home world or a film set further into the future. Plus, a smaller budget lacking in big-name actors meant more focus on the creature, the battle for survival, and had the potential for a higher reward in terms of box office and reception; low risk and high reward is a model that’s worked prettywell for other genre films and I was pleased to see it pay off in Prey‘s reception.
Naru is desperate to prove herself a skilled warrior but didn’t expect to be facing an alien hunter!
Prey revolves around a Comanche tribe, back before the then-modern world absolutely ravaged their lands with industry and Christianity. Our main character, Naru, is something of an outcast in her tribe; tradition demands that she follow her calling as a healer but, in secret, she trains to be a warrior like her brother, Taabe (Beavers). Alongside her faithful canine companion Sarii (Coco), Naru works on her tomahawk-throwing skills out in the forests and showcases a considerable talent with accuracy and proficiency but also at hunting, as she’s able to sneak up on a deer undetected. When the deer is startled, Naru demonstrates her impressive cardio and parkour-like skills, racing through the forest, hopping over and under trees with a deftness and determination, and also her talent for medicine after Sarii’s tail is caught in an iron trap that puzzles her in its design. Later, Naru fashions a weapon unique to her by tying her tomahawk to a length of hand-made roping, not unlike a roped kunai, and demonstrates her grace under pressure when she falls into a swamp-like bog and is able to haul herself to safety rather than giving in to panic. While out in the forest, Naru catches sight of the Predator’s cloaked ship breaching Earth’s atmosphere and interpets it as a Thunderbird, a sign that she needs to prove herself. Despite showing talent in many areas, Naru’s motivation for wanting to hunt is simply: nobody in the tribe believes she’s capable of it (even her mother, Aruka (Thrush) questions her desire) and she’s determined to prove them wrong. Taaba, who paints himself up in half-ghost face, is a great hunter; when Naru was young and being taken to gather herbs, he was learning the skills that allow him to shoot an eagle out of the sky with barely a glance. His relationship with Naru is a complex and surprisingly realistic one; they wind each other up like most siblings but, while she believes she’s ready to prove herself, Taabe has his doubts. He knows, from first-hand experience, the difference between picking off prey that’s either unaware or incapable of defending itself and taking on something that actively hunts its quarry.
Despite Wasape’s mockery, Naruis wily enough tolearn from the Predator and to survive.
Still, when Taabe joins the search party to rescue Huupi (Tymon Carter) from a mountain lion, he vouches for Naru’s tracking and medicinal skills, though it’s not enough to completely win over the prejudice of his fellow hunters, particularly Wasape (Stormee Kipp). Even after she tends to Huupi’s wounds, Wasape gives her grief and their antagonism boils over into an intense brawl when he’s sent to retrieve her and is met with defiance and tales of a mupitsl, a monster from her tribe’s children’s stories, lurking in the forest. Paaka (Corvin Mack) has equal disregard for Naru, believing she’s too afraid to be of use and, like Wasape and Naru’s other doubters, he meets a gruesome end as a result of his condescending nature. Unfortunately, Naru misses out on her big moment thanks to a distraction from the Predator; when Taabe returns to the village with the lion’s beheaded carcass, he’s named the tribe’s War Chief and, fully confident that he can tackle whatever other threats are out there when the time comes, leaves Naru heartbroken when he voices his own distrust in her abilities, regardless of her clear hunting skill. Determined to prove herself, Naru shirks her duties and heads out beyond the ridge with Sarii, finding more of the Predator’s tracks (and even some of its distinctive luminous blood), a herd of rotting, skinned bison, and a grizzly bear. Forced to take shelter when her weapons fail her, this affords Naru her first gruesome glance of the true alien menace lurking on her lands, a creature she cannot understand and so believes to be the fictional mupitsl come to life. Bound and helpless, it’s all Naru can do to free herself from her bonds when the Predator attacks Wasape and his fellow hunters, but her experience proves invaluable at seeing what the creature is capable of and spotting the warning signs of its bolt gun.
Even the French’s guns are no match for this Feral Predator, despite the primitive nature of its weapons.
Although it appears as though the Predator is responsible for slaughtering the buffalo herd (skinning creatures is its modus operandi, after all), this is actually the work of a brutish group of French voyageurs. Compared to the Comanche, the voyageurs are almost Viking-like savages; they growl and bark in an unintelligible French dialect and wield far more advanced weaponry, including rifles and gunpowder. After she’s taken captive by them, Naru is approached by Raphael Adolini (Taylor), an Italian man who acts as a translator between the two groups and who both speculates on the nature of the Predator and reveals that the voyageurs have encountered the creature before. When she refuses to talk, their leader, “Big Beard” (Mike Paterson), wounds Taabe with a cut across his torso and the two are strung up as bait for the Predator. Although we see a fleeting shot of it within the first ten minutes or so, we don’t actually see it unobscured until about fifty minutes in, with much of the first act being built around echoing the slowly mounting tension regarding the creature to reflect the confusion and superstition felt by the Comanche. There’s a particularly simple, yet striking, sequence that showcases both the Predator’s looming menace and the film’s themes of predatory hierarchy; an ant unknowingly crawls over the cloaked Predator’s leg before being eaten by a rat, which is then struck by a snake, which in turn is slaughtered by the Predator’s wrist blades, with all of this framed to show just how close the alien was to Taabe and the others without them realising it. As is tradition with every new Predator movie, this Predator is both familiar but decidedly different, perhaps more than any Predator before and not just by virtue of being bigger and tougher. This Predator sports decidedly outdated technology, including a skull-like mask more bone than mechanical, a laser-guided bolt gun rather than the traditional plasma cannon, and few of the more technologically advanced weaponry of its brethren. Whether this is by design or by choice, it means this Predator is much more about getting up close and personal with its prey, stalking them with its thermal vision and favouring both hand-to-hand combat and its wrist blades rather than smoke and mirrors. Yet, despite all of this, the Predator still only kills prey it deems worthy; it has no interest in helpless bait and leaves Naru be when she’s caught in an animal trap since she’s no longer a threat or capable of putting up a decent fight. Additionally, in a twist on the usual formula of Predator protagonists using mud to obscure their body heat, Prey sees Naru’s medicinal knowledge to accomplish the same result.
The Nitty-Gritty: Right from the start, Prey is a very different kind of Predator movie; being set in the wide-open flatlands and dense forests of the Great Plains, the movie eschews the stifling jungles and anarchy of the city streets for a more open and, dare I say it, cinematic presentation. Through its visuals and its haunting melody, the film has more in common with the likes of Dances with Wolves (Costner, 1990) and spends a great deal of time establishing the society, lore, and lifestyle of the Comanche tribe. While I’m no expert in Native Americans, I found the film to really benefit from this approach and its attention to detail; we get sporadic uses of their native tongue and the voyageurs speak exclusively in a guttural French (without subtitles), the Comanche are painted up individually to represent their personalities, their clothing consists of simple robes, their village is made up of tepees, they adorn themselves with feathers and necklaces, and their weapons are hand-made. Crude, yes, but these are simple, primitive times and folk, yet their bows, arrows, tomahawks, and hunting skills are no less formidable and they’re fully capable of sustaining themselves through traditional hunting prowess and restraint. Consequently, they don’t indiscriminately hunt simply for sport or the thrill of it, but to survive, meaning that the presence of French voyageurs greatly disrupts their ecosystem as they haphazardly slaughter the local buffalo.
Prey contains some of the most brutal, gory, and creative kills of the franchise.
This Predator isn’t just about the wholesale slaughter of human beings; given when the film takes place and the many instances of primitive weaponry seen in the film, it’s possible that humanity hasn’t yet caught the attention of the alien hunters. Observing the local wildlife, this Predator stalks all prey, not just humans; it tracks a ravenous wolf, gutting and mutilating it to add another trophy to its belt. This Predator’s preference to fight up close with its prey makes it far more aggressive and susceptible to injury; the Predator wrestles with the grizzly bear with its bare hands, its wounds only fuelling its aggression, and seems to take great pride in showcasing its superior strength over the wild animal, holding it aloft to be drenched in its blood in a fantastically gory and striking shot. Having witnessed Wasape and Naru brawl and assessing the weaponry of the tribe, the Predator strikes, killing Wasape with its bolt gun and slicing off limbs, heads, and impaling Taabe’s kinsmen with its separatable combistick. Although it lacks the explosive impact of the traditional plasma cannon, the Predator’s bolt gun allows for some fun and bloody kills; it still uses the iconic red targeting system, but fires three arrow-like projectiles on a predetermined path. There are quite a few drawbacks to this primitive version of the plasma cannon; for one, it allows some leeway for its victims to potentially survive, and the targeting system comes back to bite the Predator in the finale but it’s an interesting way of showing how the Predator’s technology evolved over time and almost puts it on more equally ground with the primitive tribespeople. Although the French boast more advanced weaponry than the Comanche (and attempt to capture and kill the creature with traps of their own), the Predator’s superior strength and weaponry sees them all reduced to bloody corpses; the Predator sports its constricting net trap, electroshock bolas, a retractable bulletproof shield that also doubles as a razor sharp projectile, leaves its gauntlet behind as an explosive surprise, and even uses the humans’ own weapons against them by throwing a foothold trap right at a voyager’s head! Not to be outdone, Naru doesn’t abandon Sarii, even in the face of the Predator’s near-supernatural menace, when she’s held captive by the voyageurs, mercilessly killing them all with her roped tomahawk to get her to safety.
Naru uses all of her wiles and skills to outsmart and defeat the Predator and prove herself worthy.
With the French brutalised by the Predator, the mutilated Adolini begs Naru to help him and teaches her how to load and use his flintlock pistol; although she’s able to stem his bleeding and mask his body heat and he tries playing dead, he ends up dead anyway when the Predator steps on his body and stabs him when he screams. Taabe then rides in on horseback to attack the Predator with its own weapons; with his speed and skill with a bow, Taabe is able to land several shots on the Predator all while Naru struggles to load Adolini’s pistol in a strikingly effective commentary on the clunky inefficiency of then-modern technology compared to her tribe’s more direct methods. Unfortunately, Taabe is unable to kill or even mortally wound the Predator and Naru is forced to watch her brother be slaughtered right before her eyes. The last one standing, Naru takes a moment to expel her grief and anguish and then mounts her final stand against this seemingly unstoppable monster; ambushing the shellshocked Big Beard, she severs one of his legs and leaves him Andolini’s unloaded pistol to make him an easy target for the Predator as payback for him hurting her brother, then makes use of her herbs to mask her body heat and take the Predator by surprise. A bullet to the back of its head might only be a flesh wound to the alien hunter, but it’s enough to again expose its horrific visage (which is also a far cry from the usual Predator appearance) and allow her to steal its helmet, driving the creature into a vengeful frenzy. Naru prepares an elaborate trap around the bog using carved wooden spikes, not unlike Dutch’s later tactics, and places the helmet in full view to lure her prey in. While physically outmatched by the far larger and stronger creature, Naru’s speed, wiles, and determination see her strike with a wild tenacity, using herself as bait to draw the Predator closer on her own terms, a tactic that allows her to allow use its weapons against it and severe its right arm. While Wasape mocked Naru using her “leash” for her weapon, it proves vital in trapping the Predator in the quagmire of the bog; goading the creature using both Taabe’s and Dutch’s words, Naru tricks the Predator into firing its bolt gun at her, which sees its projectiles kill it instead. Exhausted and injured, Naru returns to her village with the Predator’s severed head and its blood splashed across her face like war paint; having proved herself beyond measure, she’s named as the new War Chief, but tribal paintings allude to the inevitable return of the alien hunters, if only to claim Adolini’s pistol…
The Summary: For a movie that’s so visually and narratively removed from the Predator franchise, Prey does a wonderful job of getting back to the basics and roots of the series. Setting the film hundreds of years in the past and focusing on a primitive, but highly skilled and spiritual Comanche tribe, was a fantastic way of reframing the Predator narrative into a fresh and original presentation while still paying homage to the themes of horror and survival that made the first film as memorable as its abundance of machismo. Naru is a very strong and determined young woman, easily the equal of her more celebrated male rivals, and really comes across as a formidable opponent for the Predator thanks to her adaptability, intelligence, and ability to see what others miss. While I’m a sucker for well-armed protagonists getting picked off by a superior force because they rely too much on their weaponry, I really enjoyed the higher stakes on offer in Prey as everyone is using such limited and primitive weaponry. Even the French, with their cumbersome rifles and gunpowder, are no match for this, probably the most brutal and aggressive Predator that isn’t bulked up on steroids. This Feral Predator is a hands-on kinda guy, slaughtering whatever creatures take its fancy and sporting some unique, if primitive, technology alongside its more familiar toys. I can see why so many people praised Prey for being the best film in the franchise for some time; it’s definitely better than The Predator, and I’m really excited for the possibilities of other Predator films exploring other time periods, and overall this was a highly enjoyable horror that told an entertaining coming-of-age story and showed that there’s still life in this under-rated franchise yet.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Did you enjoy Prey? How do you think it compares to other films in the franchise? What did you think to Naru’s character, the obstacles she overcame and her solutions to those problems? Would you have liked to see more from the Comanche tribe and their society? What did you think to the Feral Predator, its different technology and its more aggressive personality? What time periods or situations would you like to see the Predator dropped into in the future? Which of the Predator sequels and merchandise was your favourite and did you celebrate Predator Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Prey, feel free to leave a comment below or drop your thoughts on my social media.
In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I expanded Superman Day to “Superman Month“ and have been spending every Monday of June celebrating the Man of Steel.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 14 June 2013 Director: Zack Snyder Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $255 to 258 million Stars: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Antje Traue, and Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner
The Plot: Just before the planet Krypton is destroyed, scientist Jor-El (Crowe) sends his young son to Earth. Raised by a kindly couple, Clark Kent (Cavill) hides his superhuman powers from the world but, when he discovers the truth of his alien heritage, he finally assumes the mantle of Earth’s greatest protector, Superman, just in time to defend his adopted home world from the maniacal General Zod (Shannon), a Kryptonian warrior seeking to terraform Earth into a new Krypton!
The Review: Those who’ve read my reviews of the Richard Donner/Christopher Reeve films, and Superman Returns, will know that my relationship with those movies is a contentious one. While Reeve was undoubtably iconic in the role, and the first two films not only helped establish Superman in the eyes of the general audience but influenced comic books and their adaptations for decades, I also grew up reading the Post-Crisisversion of Superman as written by John Byrne and firmly believed that the character had significantly changed since his wacky Pre-Crisis days. In the comics I read, Clark Kent wasn’t some bumbling reporter, Lois Lane wasn’t an obsessed stalker, and Superman was a relatable and at times vulnerable character; he got married, died and came back, and, crucially, had a humanity at the heart of his character and was far less God-like than in the sixties and seventies. Consequently, I was quite excited to see a new version of the character brought to the big screen, with a revised origin and no ties to the films that had come before it. I believe this is the route Warner Bros. should have taken with Superman Returns and, if they had, the nature of the DCEU could be quite different today. I was doubly excited since the studio not only had Christopher Nolan onboard as a producer but brought in Zack Snyder, who had impressed me with his visuals and brutal action-orientated storytelling in 300 (Snyder, 2006) and Watchmen(ibid, 2009), and even roped in Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe in pivotal roles.
Amidst a chaotic opening, Jor-El is able to spirit his infant son to safety before Krypton is destroyed.
As is tradition at this point, Man of Steel opens on Krypton, a world decidedly different from what we’ve seen onscreen and in the comics before. While many interpretations of Krypton like to draw upon Donner’s cold, crystalline wasteland, Man of Steel presents a vast alien world whose technology is based around a sort of fluid nanotech, genetic engineering, and artificial intelligence. The landscape is also much more alive and vibrant, with massive creatures roaming the ground and the skies, other planets dominating the horizon, and a tint of copper red/orange applied to the world, whose architecture is a curious mixture of almost Aztec-like structures and advanced anti-gravity technology. In this version of events, Krypton is quite the lackadaisical race; having grown weary of colonising other worlds, they’ve allowed themselves to become somewhat stagnant on their home world. Their society is comprised of genetically engineered individuals pre-programmed into specific roles, such as warriors, scientists, and politicians, and thus the infant Kal-El is the first natural birth in centauries. However, their hubris remains as steadfast as ever and they ignore Jor-El’s warnings that the planet’s core is quickly destabilising after (presumably) decades of mining it following an energy crisis. Realising the planet is doomed, Jor-El pleads with the Kryptonian Council to allow him access to the “Codex”, a complete record of their society and genetic history, in order to ensure that a new generation of Kryptonians survives the calamity, but his demands are quickly interrupted by a coup d’état led by General Zod, who disposes the council and causes the planet to erupt in all-out war despite the looming danger. Consequently, Man of Steel has an extremely chaotic opening where we’re bombarded with information and explosive visuals; Kal-El is born, Krypton is said to be close to destruction, war breaks out!, Kal-El is imbued with the vaguely-defined Codex and rocketed to safety, Zod kills Jor-El before his insurrection is quashed and is banished to the Phantom Zone alongside his cohorts, and then the planet explodes all within the first twenty minutes! While this is clearly important to give us a glimpse of Kryptonian society and the sacrifices his parents made, and absolutely a narrative device used in Superman media time and time again, I can’t help but feel like the opening could have been trimmed down a little and scattered throughout the film, especially as Jor-El’s holographic interface later gives Clark the rundown on these events, and Zod also relates things from his perspective, meaning we essentially learn the same information twice.
Having struggled with his powers, and guilt over his father’s death, Clark with his place in the world.
This bombastic and visual cacophony then gives way to a much more nuanced, grounded, and undeniably Nolan-influenced portion of the film where we jump ahead some thirty years to find the now grown-up Kal-El travelling Earth as Clark Kent and trying to get a better understanding of himself and the nature of humanity in order to figure out how best to utilise the fantastic abilities afforded him by our yellow sun. This narrative device makes far better use of the film’s run time to parallel Clark’s journey as an adult with his childhood growing up in Smallville, Kansas, where young Clark (Cooper Timberline and Dylan Sprayberry) was initially overwhelmed with his developing abilities, which cause him pain, discomfort, and fear and are framed very much as an allegory for puberty. Clark’s superhearing and x-ray vision are depicted as being harrowing for the young boy, who has a full-blown panic before his kindly adopted mother, Martha Kent (Diane Lane), helps him to focus himself, to block out the noise and the visions that plague him, and to master his abilities. As he grows older, he comes to resent having to hold himself back and to hide his powers, which very much sets up an ongoing moral conflict within the film. Indeed, his adopted father, Jonathan Kent (Costner), even suggests that he should have let a busload of his classmates drown rather than risk revealing himself since he’s of the firm belief that the world isn’t ready to accept the truth of what he is. However, Jonathan and Jor-El both believe that Clark, and his gifts, have world-changing implications; his presence will inspire both fear and hope, reverence and hostility, as humankind realises that they’re not alone in the universe and that their world has been forever changed. Jonathan recognises that this is not only a huge burden but will result in Clark being viewed as something other than human, whether for good or ill, and just wants his son to be prepared to either face up to this great destiny or to walk away from it without regret. Clark’s fear and confusion eventually turn into resentment and adolescent rage as he grows older and becomes tired of having to hide himself and lashes out at Jonathan without thinking, only to have to watch, helplessly, as his adopted father is swept away by a tornado since he was forbidden to act and expose himself before he was ready. While this death is overly dramatic and lacks the subtle nuance of Jonathan succumbing to a simple heart attack thus teaching Clark that even he cannot stop nature, it does result in him being so guilt-ridden that he travels the world to try and find himself and learn how best to honour his father.
Lois is integral to Clark’s decision to reveal himself as Superman and is at the forefront of the chaos.
By the time he’s an adult, Clark has experienced much of the conflicting nature of humanity; there are bullies and assholes but also those who will go out of their way to save others, proving that humankind has a spark of decency buried deep beneath the conflict. When he discovers the Kryptonian scout ship and meets the holographic representation of his birth father, Clark learns of his true heritage and the reason for his existence and finally discovers the means to reconcile the conflict within him. Donning an absolutely glorious alien suit and flowing cape, and inspired by both his fathers, Clark finds he has only begun to realise the true extent of his abilities as he defies Earth’s gravity, clearly basking in the feelings of liberation brought not only from flying through the air but from finally accepting his birthright. Clark is shown to have always had a strong relationship with Martha, who only ever showed him love and affection and tried to help him to focus his abilities. While both her and Jonathan loved him unconditionally, their methods at helping him through his adolescence and his burgeoning powers differed somewhat, as she was perfectly happy to just let him grow up, fully confident that he’d make the right decisions, whereas Jonathan continually went out of his way to stress that Clark is there for a reason and has a greater destiny. After Jonathan’s death, Clark’s bond with Martha grows even stronger, partially due to his guilt but also because she’s all that he has left and he flies into a rage when her life is threatened by Zod and his cronies later in the film. Of course, intrepid reporter Lois Lane (Adams) remains a central influence in Clark’s decision to embrace his destiny and put his powers to good use; depicted as a strong-willed, curious, and empathetic woman, Lois is a fearless reporter who doesn’t hesitate to put herself in harm’s way, or the most extreme environments, in order to get a good story. When she learns that a centuries-old Kryptonian scout ship has been located in the Canadian Arctic, she doesn’t hesitate to head out there, immediately establish herself as a woman of some fortitude before the somewhat disapproving Colonel Nathan Hardy/Guardian (Meloni), and even brave the frigid environment to get up close and personal with the ship. After she’s attacked by the Kryptonian security droids and Clark saves her life, she throws herself into trying to track down her mysterious saviour, much to the chagrin of her editor, Perry White (Lawrence Fishburne), and is intrigued by the many and varied reports of a superpowered do-gooder helping others before disappearing.
Strong supporting characters flesh out the world and ask new questions about Superman’s presence.
In a fantastic change of pace, Lois experiences Clark’s abilities and is privy to his identity right away, doing away with the need for him to assume the guise of a bumbling fool. Lois not only gives him the name Superman (in a roundabout way), but also plays an important role as an audience surrogate as she uses her reputation as a celebrated reporter to accompany and talk to him after he surrenders himself to the distrustful Lieutenant General Calvin Swanwick (Harry Lennix) and even goes with him to Zod’s ship after Superman willingly agrees to give himself up to spare his world. Cavill and Adams have a real tangible onscreen chemistry and Lois very much acts as a mediator between Clark’s somewhat sheltered upbringing, the awe that his presence (and unparalleled physicality) inspires, the suspicion of Swanwick and some others, and the demands of Zod. General Zod announces his arrival by broadcasting an ominous message across all media platforms and in all languages to deliver Clark with an ultimatum, thereby giving him another moral quandary over whether to surrender himself to the Kryptonians or to humanity, neither of which are particularly trustworthy. Zod isn’t alone in his mission, of course. He’s joined by a number of Kryptonian followers, the most prominent of which are Faora-Ul (Traue) and an unnamed towering brute who ransack Smallville to draw Superman out for a conflict. Much like Ursa (Sarah Douglas), Faora-Ul is absolutely devoted to General Zod and follows his every order without question. Interestingly, she sparks up a rivalry (and, apparently, a mutual attraction and respect) with Colonel Hardy during the conflict between the military and the Kryptonians that eventually drives them to go out in a burst of glory during the finale. Perry White also has quite a prominent role here; not only does he bust Lois’s balls over daring to suggest the Daily Planet print a story about aliens, but he’s also less than impressed that she protects Superman’s identity and actually takes an active role in helping his staff (and others) during the cataclysmic finale. Lieutenant General Swanwick takes the lead in the military’s investigation of Superman; legitimately concerned and thrown off by the revelation that an alien has been living amongst them for thirty-three years, he treats Superman with a great deal of apprehension since he has such incredible power but acts independently of anyone’s interests, to say nothing of those of the United States government.
Zod is a cruel and malicious warrior who is dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Kryptonian race.
I do think that the film would have benefitted from a slight restructuring to allow for a time jump between Clark discovering his suit and Zod’s arrival; Clark is Superman for barely a day before the Kryptonians arrive to cause havoc, meaning his first real test is right in the deep end against a bunch of fanatical warriors and I think it would have benefitted the film (and the sequel) to have had a bit of a montage that showed him performing superheroic feats across the world and lay the seeds for the hope and fear his presence inspired in people. Kryptonian society is a little different to what we saw in the old films; genetic engineering is the norm, so everyone has a predefined role; while Clark, as the first natural-born Kryptonian in centuries, is the exception to this rule, General Zod is a warrior through and through whose desire to ensure Krypton’s survival drives him to extreme and devastating actions that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Having spent a great deal of time in exile and spurred by the perceived betrayal of his fellow Kryptonians, Zod is an interesting dichotomy; he’s both one-dimensional and multi-dimensional since he is fixated on ensuring Krypton’s survival and yet he’s genuinely hurt when Jor-El refuses to join forces with him in meeting this goal, and at being forced to fight against his old friend. Rather than being a criminal and a conqueror simply for personal glory, Zod seeks to terraform Earth and extract the Codex from Clark in order to rebuild Kryptonian society and is disgusted that Clark shares the same compassion and weakness as his father. As much as I was glad to see that Man of Steel avoided using typical Superman villains and devices like Lex Luthor and Kryptonite, I was a little disappointed that Zod was used as the main antagonist; Michael Shannon is amazing in the role, don’t get me wrong, exuding an intelligence and a malice that help him be as distinct from Terence Stamp’s memorable rendition of the character as Cavill is from Reeve, but I do think the film could’ve been largely the same, and actually somewhat superior, if Zod had been replaced with Brainiac. By taking influences from Superman: The Animated Series (1996 to 2000) and elements of the Eradicator and Zod’s fanatical fixation on rebuilding Kryptonian society, Brainiac could have helped the film stand out even more from its predecessors, and Michael Shannon could have brought the same calculating intensity to that role as he does to Zod, but I very much enjoyed how Zod was such a devious, manipulative, and brutal foe here.
The Nitty-Gritty: Man of Steel owes more than a little to Nolan’s grounded and gritty take on Bruce Wayne/Batman in the Dark Knight trilogy; like those films, Man of Steel is a very serious and thought-provoking deconstruction of easily the most iconic superhero in all of comicdom. The film is front-loaded with themes regarding destiny, nature/nurture, and realising oneself in a world that’s not as black and white as we’d like. More than ever, Superman and General Zod are presented as thematic opposites; while Zod is pained to have killed his friend and is acting only in the interest of preserving his long-dead society, Superman is determined to safeguard his world and others but has struggled for his entire life with finding the means to do so. Both Jor-El and Jonathan see him as a world-changing symbol of hope and the capacity to achieve something greater, and he even wears his family crest (the symbol of hope) as Superman, but a prevailing concern throughout the film (which later turns out to be true) is that humanity will stumble, to say the least, in their efforts to keep pace with him. As ever, Superman is accompanied by strong religious themes; one of Jonathan’s many worries about him exposing himself is how it will change humanity’s perception of their beliefs in both scientific and religious teachings, when Zod arrives Clark communes with a priest (Coburn Goss) before surrendering himself (fitting, considering his dialogue with Jor-El clearly evokes a conversation with the Creator), and of course Superman adopts the image of the crucifix before dashing off to rescue Lois’s escape pod.
Superman, his enemies, the tech, and the entire film shines thanks to a strong visual identity.
One of the benefits of bringing in Zack Snyder is his strengths as a visual storyteller; Man of Steel is beautifully shot, utilising a subdued colour scheme that gives the film a very tangible, grounded aesthetic. Shots of Krypton, and Superman, are given a suitably grandiose sheen, making for some of the most impressive flying sequences in a Superman film yet and ensuring that Superman makes a lasting impact every time he’s onscreen. Snyder is far from a subtle storyteller, however, though, here, his tendencies are clearly tempered by Nolan’s more measured and intellectual approach. Still, Snyder’s propensity towards spectacle and engaging visuals results in some harrowing sequences; one of the standouts is a dream-like confrontation between Superman and Zod where the Man of Steel sinks beneath the skeletal remains of billions of murdered humans. Superman’s powers are somewhat subdued here, potentially to maintain the grounded tone of the film; Superman exhibits superhearing, vision, and strength but he and the other Kryptonians primarily rely on their heat vision, superspeed, and flight rather than freezing breath. Thanks to fully utilising modern technology, Man of Steel has the best flying sequences of any Superman movie, taking the lessons learned in Superman Returns and cranking them up to eleven. Snyder loves him some dramatic camera zoom; it’s a little overused but actually makes it feel as though the camera is tracking the action and flying in real-time. Of course, I have to gush about Cavill’s super-suit; yes, debates will rage seemingly for all eternity about whether he should have trunks or not but this is, for me, the best Superman costume we’ve ever seen in live-action. The symbol is alien, and yet familiar, and the texture work is sublime. His cape is nice and long and flowing, making for some dramatic shots as it billows out behind him, and the colour grading allows it to be both colourful and realistic without being overly comic book-y. While the Kryptonian suits are all CGI, you’d never know it since they never appear to be fake; I love how they’re all garbed in this functional dark armour, which is a brilliant thematic and visual parallel between their dark designs for Earth and Superman’s heroism. Krypton and its technology are far more alien than is the norm, comprised of squid-like robotic aides, a sort of nanotechnology used for communication, and a life-like holographic projection of Jor-El that guides Superman and helps Lois. When Superman arrives on the Kryptonian ship and learns about his society, there’s a distinct visual contrast between himself and the world he knows on Earth and this unknown alien society, which is similar to ours but fundamentally different and far more advanced in so many ways.
Metropolis is wrecked by the destructive conflict in scenes analogous to a disaster movie.
Superman ultimately embraces aspects of both worlds by donning a Kryptonian suit and his father’s crest and using his powers to benefit his adopted world while also being mindful of his adopted father’s fears that society will never fully trust, or embrace, him due to how different he is. Thanks to having lived on Earth for his entire life, Clark has fully mastered all of the sensory bombardment that comes from his powers, however he’s still learning and is untested in operating in public. Onboard Zod’s ship, Superman is rendered powerless and as vulnerable as they are when exposed to Earth’s atmosphere, which initially causes them crippling pain. However, the Kryptonians are born and bred warriors, trained to master their senses and their environment, so quickly adapt to the atmosphere and the powers that come with it; they’re also far more adept at fighting than Clark, and not only outnumber him but have devastating terraforming technology at their disposal, meaning Superman faces a very real and formidable physical threat throughout the film. This results in Man of Steel being almost the exact opposite of Superman Returns, and its other predecessors, as it features more action, fight scenes, and depictions of gratuitous destruction than you could ever hope for…and it’s pretty freakin’ glorious! Even Jor-El gets in on the action, donning both the Superman suit and Kryptonian armour, blasting at Zod’s forces, flying through the battle that rages in Krypton’s sky, and even going toe-to-toe with Zod himself to help establish that Superman’s fighting spirit and defiance is potentially inherited from his father. The action is intense and brutal, with a huge area of Metropolis and Smallville being destroyed as Superman ploughs his opponents through buildings and Zod’s World Engine machine devastating the city with its energy cannon. This Superman is an extremely emotional and reactive character who flies into a rage and is determined to tackle his enemies using brute force, meaning untold collateral damage in the process that received a lot of backlash but is clearly evoking the imagery of cataclysmic events such as 9/11 to show how these God-like beings pose a real danger to the world. While I can’t deny that Snyder definitely went way overboard with the destruction caused during the finale (Metropolis literally looks like it’s been entirely wiped out at one point, and Superman sends Zod’s ship crashing right into the heart of the city, which absolutely killed thousands of people), Clark’s just become Superman and is being threatened by a formidable force who won’t listen to reason, so he’s not as experienced as his predecessor or comic book counterpart. Plus, I think it’s important to remember that Superman does make an effort, wherever possible, to save lives; hell, the entire reason Colonel Hardy learns to trust Superman is because he saved his life, and he pushes himself to the absolute limit to destroy the World Engine in the Indian Ocean, thus saving the entire world from destruction.
Superman takes drastic action to end Zod’s threat and settles into his new life as an unassuming reporter.
With his ship downed, his World Engine destroyed thanks to Superman and Hardy’s sacrifice, and his followers all dead, General Zod is left utterly devastated; he’s lost his world, the last remnants of his people, and his entire reason for living (nay, being) has been brought to ruins all because Superman, the son of his former friend and hated enemy, chose his adopted world over his birth planet. Fuelled by his rage, and his commitment to ensuring the greater good of his people, Zod flies into a brutal and merciless assault, resulting in a vicious battle between him and Superman through the remains of Metropolis. Thanks to the benefits of modern day effects, this fight isn’t restricted in the same way as the finale of Superman II was, allowing Superman and Zod to plough through buildings, tear through walls, smash through a Wayne Enterprises satellite in the upper atmosphere, and finally gives us the violent and exciting airborne fist fight we’ve wanted from a Superman film since seeing The Matrix Revolutions (Wachowski Brothers, 2003). Although the battle has already cost the lives of God-knows how many, Superman is ultimately faced with an impossible decision; trapped in a headlock, General Zod refuses to ever stop his destructive vendetta and threatens to immolate a nearby family with his heat vision, leaving Superman no choice but to break the fanatical Kryptonian’s neck to end his threat once and for all. Again, this sparked a great deal of controversy and I can fully understand that, but it’s not as if Superman hasn’t killed Zod before (he did it in Superman II (twice, actually) and famously did executed him the comics, too) and I would much rather have Superman forced to make that decision and then learn to deal with it rather than just sweep it under the rug because he’s supposed to “be better”. In the aftermath, Superman maintains that Swanwick will just have to trust that he’s there to help and isn’t a threat to humanity (something that, sadly, is a focal point of the sequel) and, in a move that I was genuinely surprised to see, goes to work with Lois at the Daily Planet. Considering how fast and loose Man of Steel played Superman’s identity, I was almost sure that Snyder would avoid using this trope but it is tradition, after all, and the film ends with the hope that the world will change for the better following Superman’s arrival (which, again, would be dashed in the sequel…)
The Summary: After years of Superman being pigeon-holed into this outdated Silver Age characterisation as a God-like being forever embodied by Christopher Reeve, Man of Steel was a real breath of fresh air for the character and really changed the perception and portrayal of the character in interesting ways. I’ve said it before but playing Superman is no mean feat because Reeve cast a very long, dark shadow and comparisons will always be made between him and every actor to take on the tights and cape, but Cavill really brought a physicality and charisma that hadn’t been seen for some time. It helps that he’s an absolute beefcake, but his suit is incredible, and I enjoyed the deeper insight into his relationship with humanity and the burden of living up to the responsibility of his incredible powers. It’s maybe a bit too grounded and gritty and dour for a Superman film, especially as he’s meant to be a paragon of truth, justice, and the American Way, but I think it did a great job of introducing a new version of Superman to a new generation of audiences. The visual presentation and explosive action is an absolute spectacle; there’s a real sense of danger and consequence when Superman throws hands with his Kryptonian foes that may not be the most subtlest approach to take when it comes to disastrous events but absolutely makes for the most action-packed Superman film yet. Man of Steel is only bolstered by strong performances across the board; there’s a fantastic chemistry between Lois and Clark, Zod is a malicious and spiteful despot, and even the supporting actors all do a wonderful job of grounding this world and setting the stage for the coming DCEU. It’s a shame that so many people couldn’t get past the wanton destruction and more controversial aspects as there’s a lot to like here, and even more of a shame that Snyder (and Warner Bros.) squandered all the potential of this world with the follow-up by presenting Superman as a contentious figure and then killing him. While I have grown to despise die-hard Snyder fans and their antagonistic behaviour, I still really enjoy Man of Steel and am incredible happy with how it all came together to deliver a Superman much more in line with what I wanted to see onscreen.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Did you enjoy Man of Steel? What did you think to Henry Cavill’s performance as Superman and how do you think he compares to other live-action Superman? Did you enjoy the new interpretation of Krypton? What did you think to the extended discussion regarding Clark’s powers and place in the world? Did you enjoy the way the film handled his secret identity and the new suit? What did you think to this version of General Zod? Were you put off by the destruction and Zod’s execution or did you enjoy the more violent aspects of the film? What is your favourite Superman story, character, or piece of media? How did you celebrate Superman Day this month? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to share them below or leave a comment on my social media.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 22 May 2008 Director: Steven Spielberg Distributor: Paramount Pictures Budget: $185 million Stars: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, and John Hurt
The Plot: When greaser Mutt Williams (LaBeouf) drops into his life with the news that his old friend, Professor Harold Oxley (Hurt), has gone insane and been captured by Nazi forces seeking the legendary Crystal Skulls, aging archaeologist and adventure-seeker Doctor Henry Jones Jr. (Ford), better known as “Indiana Jones” (or simply “Indy”), sets out on a life-changing rescue mission.
The Background: Inspired by the pulp serials of his youth, George Lucas came up with the concept of Indiana Jones in the 1970s and, alongside director Steven Spielberg and star Harrison Ford, produced the critical and commercial hit Raiders of the Lost Ark(Spielberg, 1981), the controversiallyviolentIndiana Jones and the Temple of Doom(ibid, 1984), and the highly-lauded (and highly profitable) third entry, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (ibid, 1989) to create one of cinema’s most influential franchises. Lucas and Spielberg initially made a deal to make five Indiana Jones movies for Paramount Pictures but, when they struggled to come up with a suitable story for a fourth film, focus shifted to the prequel series, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (1992 to 1993). While filming Harrison Ford’s cameo as an aged version of Indy for this series, Lucas was inspired by the concept of an older character tangling with B-movie-style aliens in the 1950s; although both Ford and Spielberg criticised the idea, Lucas pushed forward with a script, which would include the return of Sean Connery and Indy getting married, but the idea was summarily quashed upon the blockbuster release of Independence Day(Emmerich, 1996). However, by 2000, the idea was revived and refined to centre around the mysterious crystal skulls. Work on the script, and getting the project off the ground, stalled between 2002 and 2005 as the plot shifted away from the Nazis and towards the Cold War and, when filming finally began in June 2007, the production stayed firmly in the United States so Spielberg could stay close to his family. Although practical stunts and effects were emphasised to retain the style of the previous films, with the aging Ford still performing many of his own stunts, over 450 CGI shots ended up being incorporated to create the sci-fi elements and more dangerous aspects of the action, the quality of which was the subject of scathing criticism. Indeed, while Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s $790.7 million worldwide box office made it a huge success, reviews were mixed; while the action sequences and lead performances were praised, its execution and effects were criticised. The film was openly mocked for its more over the top elements and even star Shia LaBeouf spoke out against the film, a decision he later came to regret and potentially impacted his future in the franchise. Despite the overwhelming negative reception of the film, a fifth entrywas announced soon after the franchise fell under the vast umbrella of the Walt Disney Company to continue the series, for better or worse.
The Review: Unlike many my age, I didn’t really grow up with the Indiana Jones movies; I’d seen bits of them, maybe all of one, as a kid but it wasn’t until I was a little older that I really started getting into them. For years, it was one of the great constants and reliefs of my life that we had these three movies, a pretty consistent trilogy that was largely well regarded, and that I didn’t have to worry about any re-releases taking up more of my time, space, or money. And then, out of nowhere, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came along. Almost twenty years after the last Indiana Jones adventure, in a climate where action cinema had not only changed so much but was on the cusp of exploding into fantastical superhero productions, Indiana Jones was set to return and I, like many, met this with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty. Harrison Ford had aged pretty well but had largely moved on from his more action-orientated roles, to say nothing of outright disowning some of them, but the concept of an aging hero returning to the fold was becoming popular at the time and, like Lucas’s epic sci-fi series, Indiana Jones is as much a popular brand as it is a character so it was guaranteed to bring audiences in on the name alone. For me, this movie also offered the first chance I’d ever had to see an Indiana Jonesadventure on the big screen, adding to its allure, despite my personal dislike for Shia LeBeouf and the scepticism I had about the film, negatives that ultimately came to influence my perception of the movie, especially compared to its predecessors.
Though older and jaded, Indy still retains his adventurous spirit and curiosity despite the dangers.
As ever, Indy’s reputation proceeds him; he’s specifically captured by the Russians because of his knowledge of Area 51 and, similar to the ending of Raider of the Lost Ark, is just as intrigued and excited by the secrets that are contained within it even when he has a butt-load of guns pointing at him. Seemingly having learned nothing after his experiences both on and, presumably, off-screen, Indy continues to scoff at superstitions and legends, particularly the idea of psychic powers, and is instead driven by the science and opportunity presented by such artefacts as the titular crystal skull. Interestingly, between movies, Indy was drafted into the war effort and contributed to the fight against the Axis Powers, coming out the other side with a war record and the rank of Colonel, indicating a development from a morally grey mercenary and tomb raider, to scholar and part-time government agent, to a fully-fledged and highly decorated patriot willing to go to war for his country. He’s thus understandably infuriated to be accused of treason thanks to his association with turncoat former MI6 agent George “Mac” McHale (Winstone), and with the shroud of secrecy and paranoia that has overtaken the American government since the war, especially concerning the Roswell incident that he was forced to advise on, and force both him and his friend, Dean Charles Stanforth (Broadbent), out of the university. Interestingly, Indy has noticeably grown in other ways; he’s more likely to consider the consequences of his actions and recognises the odds are against him now that he’s older, and also encourages his students to get out of the library, which is in stark contrast to his teachings from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Yet, at the same time, it seems Indy has resigned himself to his teaching; he’s taken away from the classroom against his will and even openly introduces and refers to himself as Henry Jones, Jr. rather than his more adventurous nickname. Indy remains as well-read and learned as ever; of course, in this case, it helps that he advised on the Roswell remains and that he has first-hand knowledge of the crystal skulls thanks to his former friendship with Harold Oxley. It’s because of this that he’s able to decipher Oxley’s riddles and begin the film’s globe-trotting adventure, one that seems him decoding the old man’s mad scribbles and notes very similar to piecing together the notes from his father’s diary in the last film.
Rebellious greaser Muttis stunned to learn this Indy is his real father.
Thanks to being set in 1957, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull takes place during a time of free-spirited teenage rebellion; fun-loving kids take joyrides through the desert for a thrill, hang out at diners, and obsess over rock ‘n’ roll music. Accordingly, image and style are important to these youths, none more so than greaser Mutt Williams, a hot-headed upstart garbed in a leather jacket, infatuated with his slicked hair, and quick to defend his mother and himself from any perceived slights. Embodying a “too cool for school” attitude, Mutt was raised by his mother, Marion Ravenwood (Allen), without any knowledge of his true father; instead, he saw Oxley as father figure after his own father died in the war and has no idea that Oxley’s old protégé, Indy, is his real father. Of course, anyone with half a brain can see this twist coming a mile away but Indy remains oblivious for some time, meaning he and Mutt initially bond as peers; Indy encourages him to do his own thing and to follow his passions, advice he immediately retracts once he learns he’s Mutt’s father. As the youngest of the film’s protagonists, Mutt naturally takes centre stage in many of the action sequences; armed with a switchblade, the fighting spirit of youth, and willing to throw or ride into danger without a thought for the consequences, Mutt is very much the rebellious boy Indy was seen as by his own father. Though he’s still capable of holding his own in a fight, venturing into the field, and pulling off some insane tricks when his back’s against the wall, even Indy despairs of Mutt’s cavalier attitude; he’s of a generation that Indy doesn’t quite understand, forcing Indy into a scolding, cantankerous role of disgruntled mentor and father not entirely unlike the strict demeanour of Professor Henry Jones, Sr. (Sean Connery). While there’s a lot he admires about Mutt, the youngster is an emotional and volatile greaser who underestimates Indy’s skills and abilities and yet is dependent on his elder to figure out what happened to Oxley since mythology and history aren’t Mutt’s strength.
Indy’s quest sees him betrayed and reunited with old flames and friends alike.
Despite the tensions running throughout the United States and federal agents being quick to point the finger at him, Indy still isn’t short on allies; while the bumbling Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) and Indy’s own father have died between movies (proving once and for all that, despite vague allusions to the contrary, neither Henry or Indy were granted everlasting youth or immortality by the Holy Grail), Indy still has a friend at the university, one willing to put his own career on the line to at least keep Indy tenuously connected to the institute, and eventually comes to bond with Mutt despite them both being aghast to learn of their true heritage. Indy and Marion’s reunion goes about as well as in Raiders of the Lost Ark but is given an extra wrinkle by the fact that she managed to move on after him and has become determined to shield her son from following Indy’s reckless ways to the point where she’s very overprotective of him and reluctantly reveals that his true name is Henry Jones III only when she and Indy face imminent death from a dry sand pit. From there, she gets swept up in their adventure as Indy’s deciphering of Oxley’s mad ravings leads them through the hazardous Amazon jungle to the lost city of Akator, resulting in some heated exchanges and, ultimately, the rekindling of their romance as neither can deny the attraction they still feel and are united in their affection for Mutt. Indy is distraught after seeing his old friend and mentor’s mental state when reunited with him in Peru; driven mad by prolonged contact with a crystal skull, Oxley is little more than a raving lunatic, a fact that breaks Mutt’s heart and unsettles Indy, who scoffs at the legends and rumours surrounding the crystalline artefacts. While largely relegated to comic relief, more of Oxley’s true self begins to bubble to the surface as he sees Indy in action and his research proves crucial to locating Akator, though only Indy is able to make practical use of it since Oxley’s in no state to share his knowledge and his rantings are beyond the expertise of the Russians.
Irina is determined to acquire the power of the crystal skull to dominate the minds and wills of others.
In a nice change of pace, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull uses the Soviets as its primary antagonist rather than the Nazis; while functionally not too different, the Russian antagonists rely more on subterfuge and deception that blunt execution, posing as American military personnel to force their way into Area 51 and allowing Indy to do all the heavy lifting for them. The sense of distrust and geopolitical tension between these two superpowers is best embodied by Mac, an old ally of Indy’s from the Second World War who routinely betrays both friend and foe alike, his motivations never fully known, all to serve his own ends. Mac’s constant betrayals end up coming across more as a running gag and a constant annoyance; since we’ve never seen this character before, it’s hard to care when he turns on Indy and I can’t help but feel it might’ve meant more if this had been a character like Sallah (John Rhys-Davis) who we’d had a previous relationship with. His knowledge of Indy’s methods is invaluable to the alluring and menacing Colonel-Doctor Irina Spalko (Blanchett), a cold-hearted Russian agent who seems to example some form of telepathy, or at least empathetic powers, in order to forcibly extract information from her victims. An efficient and driven individual, Irinia maintains her composure at all times, proving swift and deft with her rapier and maintaining an eerie, unblinking façade no matter what’s happening around her. With little time for Indy’s antics or pointless delays, Irina isn’t above slaughtering an entire people or threatening anyone and everyone that gets in her way, torturing Oxley and holding him captive to the point of driving him to near madness in her search for the fabled crystal skulls, with which she and her fellow comrades plan to brainwash the world into following their will. While we don’t really learn all that much about her, Irina has a strange allure to her; she and Indy have a bit of a love/hate relationship which means that actually work well together when figuring out Akator’s location, and they could’ve been allies or perhaps even lovers in another set of circumstances, but her ruthlessness and dreams of world conquest are decidedly at odds with Indy’s quest to return the crystal skull to is resting place so its masters can finally leave our world.
The Nitty-Gritty: Like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seeks to evoke the spirit of Raiders of the Lost Ark, essentially tarnishing Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom as an aberration, a perpetual and unfortunate black sheep whose themes and presentation are secondary to the title font, structure, and narrative of the first movie. This means we not only get a classic Paramount Pictures logo, the return of the more subdued credits font, and a chance to see Indy teaching at the university, but also that the film explicitly references the first movie by finally exploring that secret government warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant was stored at the end of Raiders. To be fair, Indy still cuts an impressive figure despite his advanced age, but there’s a gruffness and weariness about him that’s to be expected now that he’s past his prime; he’s as adaptable as ever, maintaining his adventurous spirit and still capable of tackling multiple foes at once, but he’s much less optimistic about his odds and relies far more on elaborate tricks rather than his fists. Indeed, it’s telling that he barely uses his whip in this movie (though, to be fair, he didn’t use it much in Raiders…) and that there are numerous references to his age getting the better of him. These are played for laughs and give the character a sense of vulnerability and desperation that was either lacking or framed somewhat differently in the previous movies, where he was always flying by the seat of his pants, but do make me question the logic of portraying an older Indy in such an action-orientated fashion. Sure, Harrison Ford can clearly still go, or at least to the best of his ability, but recontextualising him in a way where he’s coming to the end of his adventurous ways (or, to put it another way, getting “too old for this shit”) and having to begrudgingly rely on Mutt in a twist on Indy’s relationship with his eccentric father might’ve been a better fit for me since I feel Indy’s character works best when he’s in his physical prime.
The move really ups the ante into ridiculousness with its comical set pieces and action.
This means that Indy is even more on the backfoot than ever before which, again, is great for crafting a wily and vulnerable action hero but can lead to him looking a little foolish at times as he’s dominated by physically fitter enemies and forced to rely on pratfalls like incinerating a bunch of soldiers using a rocket engine and causing a brawl at a diner to escape the Russkies. Although I consider it an under-rated entry in the franchise, even I cant deny that Temple of Doom went a little over the top with its cartoonish humour and action sequences, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has it beaten thanks to two notorious set pieces. The first sees Indy stumble into a makeshift town designed to test the effects of an atomic bomb; literally at ground zero, Indy chooses to ride out the blast by shutting himself in a lead-lined fridge freezer. Somehow, despite being blasted clear across town by the resulting explosion, Indy emerges with barely a scratch on him and then immediately stops to admire the immense mushroom cloud left by the explosion, surely undoing whatever protection this tactic would’ve granted him and resulting in a sequence that’s so over the top that it may as well be in orbit! Mutt certainly follows in his old man’s footsteps in this regard; not only does he lash out at the Russians without a clear plan in mind, he’s able to put his fencing skills to the test against Irina while…somehow…maintaining his balance between two vehicles as the jungle swats at his crotch. Although he puts up a decent fight, he’s massively outclassed by the Russian, and most foes; like his father, Mutt has wiles and guts but not the greatest finesse in a fight. Given when the film was made, and the reputation of George Lucas at the time, it’s no surprise that CGI is a huge part of the film; even seemingly innocuous elements, like rodents, monkeys, and army ants are now rendered using dated and largely cartoonish computer effects rather than the tried-and-true practical efforts of the previous films. To be fair, there are many practical effects, car chases, and fight sequences that are more in keeping with the previous movies, especially when Indy and Mutt are exploring the ruins in Peru and the ancient hieroglyphics of Akator, but many of these are unnecessarily “enhanced” by ugly CGI.
Whether you accept the aliens’ presence in the film or not is really a matter of personal preference.
It’s been said by many that one of the reasons Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn’t work is because of the central narrative involving aliens, an element that many feel doesn’t belong in an Indiana Jones. I’m not entirely convinced that this is true; yes, the previous movies all had a supernatural and paranormal bent, ones deeply entrenched in religion, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is expanding upon real-world myths and conspiracy theories, such as the Roswell spacecraft crash and the titular crustal skulls, which have long been believed by many to be extraterrestial in origin, and these elements are framed in a way that’s in keeping with the previous films, where elements such as voodoo and religious mythology were revered in an almost magical context. Ultimately, my issue isn’t that aliens were included; in fact, I quite enjoy the depictions of the creatures and their crafts, which is in keeping with sci-fi movies and stories of the time. No, my issue is in the execution of the aliens, especially in the finale, where they’re brought to life through some truly horrendous CGI, and the explanation that they are “interdimensional beings” from “the space between spaces”, as though the filmmakers backed out at the very last minute regarding the extraterrestial nature of these beings. Another butt-ugly sequence sees Spielberg abandon practical effects in favour of cartoonish CGI and an obvious overabundance of green screen during the jeep chase through the Amazon jungle. Here, disturbingly fake trees and hazards whip by in a blur and Mutt ends up ridiculously swinging from vines alongside a gaggle of moneys, with the only thing missing being a Tarzan scream, which blasts the realms of believability right out of the water.
The aliens dispatch of Irinia and disappear, leaving Indy to undertake perhaps the greatest adventure yet…
After overcoming a series of hazards each more comical than the last, including surviving three waterfalls and the aforementioned army ants, Indy and the others finally find the lost city of Akator, where they’re attacked by a tribe of savages. Thankfully, these primitives both revere and fear the crystal skull our heroes possess, allowing them to scale the overgrown pyramid-like temple and finally figure a way inside, where they’re met by a series of suitably thrilling boobytraps such as temporary stone platforms and a spike pit filled with less fortunate tomb raiders. Even Indy is awestruck by the collection of treasures held within but, while Mac loads himself up with as much gold as he can carry to satisfy his greed, Indy uses the skull to unlock a door to an impressive chamber seemingly made of gold and in which sit the crystalline skeletons of thirteen extraterrestrial visitors, one of which is missing its skull. Betrayed by Mac one last time, Indy and the others can only watch as the captivated Irinia enters the chamber and reunites the skeleton with its skull; speaking through Oxley, the creature offers to reward them and Irinia volunteers without hesitation, desperate to know the truth and the limits of the aliens’ powers and origins. She gets far more than she could’ve ever imagined, however, when the temple whirs to life, crumbling away around them; the Russkies are swept away to another dimension, Mac is unable to control his greed and perishes as a result despite Indy’s best efforts, and Irinia is so overwhelmed by the aliens’ true nature that she immolates into nothingness from the sheer awesomeness of their psychic power. Indy and the others are swept to safety by a sudden rush of water and can only watch in awe as the flying saucer disappears out of existence, the experience having returned Oxley to his senses and brought Indy and Marion back together. Indeed, after years of messing around and denying their feelings, the two finally marry in the finale, seemingly putting an end to Indy’s adventurous ways. However, as Mutt retrieves his father’s hat and prepares to don it for himself, Indy snatches it away at the last second with a cheeky smile, indicating that he’s not quite ready to pass the torch on to the next generation.
The Summary: If there’s a word to describe Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it’s definitely “divisive”. Like many people, I came away from this movie feeling less than impressed and, even now, it’s my least watched of the entire franchise. Whenever it’s on television I avoid it and I went into this review fully expecting to give it a sold two-star summary, but I’m actually going to be a little lenient on it and bump it up to three stars. Is it perfect? No, not even a little bit. Is it on par with any of the previous movies? Absolutely not, but how much of that is down to nostalgia raising their quality in our eyes as fans of the franchise and its star? There are some good qualities to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; it continues the adventurous spirit of the previous films, expands and explores Indy’s character in new ways, and does a pretty good job of depicting him as a disgruntled, aging hero who’s suddenly forced into becoming the last thing he ever expected: a father. Mutt, in concept, is a pretty good counterpart to Indy; filled with the gusto of rebellious youth, he’s everything Indy isn’t and yet they share the same spirit and compliment each other well, despite my dislike for Shia LaBeouf. I enjoy the few practical effects employed in the movie and that the film uses new antagonists and goes down new avenues; even the idea of aliens being the focal point of the film is intriguing to me. However, some of the execution is flawed and it definitely hobbles the film; the CGI, some of the characterisations, and the decision to even depict an older Indy chief amongst them. Yet, I quite enjoyed this latest watch of it; it’s definitely got way more issues than any of its predecessors but it’s entertaining enough for what it is, though I’d still recommend you just re-watch The Last Crusade again instead.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Are you a fan of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? What did you think to the idea of an aging Indy? Which of the film’s more ridiculous aspects annoyed or entertained you the most? Were you a fan of Mutt and the idea of Indy being a father? What did you think to the incorporation of aliens into the franchise, and do you think they are suitable for an Indiana Jones film? If not, what would you have preferred to see in their place? What is your current ranking of the Indiana Jones movies? Whatever you think about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, feel free to share your memories of Indiana Jones in the comments or on my social media.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Writer: Peter David – Artist: Rick Leonardi
Story Title: “Stan Lee Presents Spider-Man 2099” Published: 1 September 1992 (cover-dated: November 1992)
Story Title: “Nothing Ventured” Published: 6 October 1992 (cover-dated: December 1992)
Story Title: “Nothing Gained” Published: 3 November 1992 (cover-dated: January 1993)
The Background: Back in 1962, Marvel Comics editor and head writer Stan Lee, hot off the smash hit that was the Fantastic Four, soon achieved even greater success with teenage superhero icon Peter Parker/Spider-Man. After his debut in Amazing Fantasy #15 became one of Marvel’s best selling titles, Spider-Man’s popularity saw him graduate to his own solo title barely a year later and become perhaps the most recognisable character in Marvel’s colourful repertoire. Over the years, Spider-Man has endured many changes, and not all of them for the best: there was the time he grew four extra arms, the whole clone debacle that is still widely regarded as one of the character’s lowest points, the introduction and subsequent popularity of Miles Morales, a noir-themed Spider-Man, Peter Porker the Amazing Spider-Ham, and, of course, the Spider-Man of the future, Miguel O’Hara. In 1992, Marvel Comics presented an alternative future for their costumed characters, the cyberpunk era of 2099, where many of their most recognisable heroes and villains were reinterpreted with a gloss of futuristic sheen. Spider-Man 2099 debuted in this self-titled series and was designed by artist Rick Leonardi, though it was writer Peter David who created his alter ego, whose debut issue became David’s highest-selling comic. In fact, Spider-Man 2099 would prove to be the most successful of all the Marvel 2099 comics; it ran for forty-six issues before financial issues caused the run to be cancelled, but Miguel remained a mainstay of Marvel’s far-flung future and crossed over to the mainstream Marvel universe on more than one occasion both in and out of the comics, before finally returning in an ongoing series in 2014. Spider-Man 2099 is often regarded as one of the better alternate versions of the web-slinger, and with good reason; personally, I’ve always been a fan of his costume, the unique nature of his powers, and his cyberpunk future and was very excited to see him take centre stage in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Dantos, Powers, and Thompson, 2023).
The Review: Considering how successful and popular Spider-Man 2099 was and still is in the grand scheme of things, it’s a shame that this original run from the early-nineties is so hard to come by. While many of his later stories are widely available, and the second collection of this run is currently quite affordable, physical copies of the first volume have skyrocketed, despite a re-release coming not too long ago. Luckily, I was able to grab a copy of the first volume to finally get a taste of Spider-Man 2099, but it does irk me that Marvel’s physical publications are often either hard to come by or extortionately expensive, especially their stories from the nineties. Nevertheless, our story begins in medias res with Spider-Man being pursued through the New York City of the future by officers of the Public Eye, the law enforcement arm of this future world. They, like practically everything in the city, are funded by Alchemax, a hugely influential conglomerate that practically owns the city; basically think if Omni-Consumer Products (OCP) actually succeeded in building and dominating Delta City. The officers chase Spider-Man relentlessly but are stunned by how fast and agile he is; no matter how hard they try, they can’t land a shot on him and they can barely keep up with him, much less compete with his web-slinging, webbed airfoils that allow him to glide and influence his airspeed, and his razor-sharp talons. These abilities allow Spider-Man to easily give the cops the slip and leave them humiliated before a gaggle of awed onlookers, and our story shifts to Babylon Towers, where an exhausted half-Mexican, half-Irish Miguel O’Hara returns to his flat (or “apartment” for you Americans) only to be greeted by a series of holographic messages that further compound his already dire mood. Messages from the likes of Tyler Stone, Miguel’s brother Gabriel “Gabe” O’Hara, and Miguel’s fiancée, Dana D’Angelo, indicate that Miguel is not only mixed up in some ethically questionable activities with Alchemax but also hooked on drugs that are seriously messing him up. But what does Miguel have to do with the mysterious new web-slinger in town? Well, for that, the story has Miguel record a journal entry that sheds some light on the connection.
When smart mouthed Miguel is addicted to drugs by his boss, he turns to genetic research to cure himself…
Miguel was the head of a project researching gene alteration at Alchemax; though a genius who envisioned recreating the amazing superhuman abilities of Spider-Man for the company’s Corporate Raiders, Miguel had little respect for the chain of command, resulting in a strained relationship between him and his superior, Aaron Delgato, a J. Jonah Jameson type who didn’t appreciate Miguel’s smart mouth or disrespectful attitude. Miguel’s quick wit even extended to Tyler Stone, the head of the Alchemax Corporation; however, Tyler countered Miguel’s brashness not with blustering frustration like Delgato but with an insistence of advancing to human testing. Although Miguel disagreed with this decision, to defy Tyler would be to leave the volunteer, Mr. Sims, in Delgato’s hands and, as Miguel didn’t trust Delgato with the technology, Miguel begrudgingly agrees to start small, planning only to slightly alter Mr. Sim’s genes to grant him superhuman strength, and was horrified when the procedure transformed the man into a feral, monstrous beast that attempted to kill its creator before dying. In many ways, this was a self-fulfilling prophecy; Miguel states he designed his “transformation chamber” after an old “holo”, The Fly (Cronenberg, 1986), so it’s only fitting that Mr. Sims would become a mindless grotesque upon first use. Still, Tyler was impressed by the display of superhuman strength, and Miguel was so disgusted by the entire ordeal that he quit from Alchemax. While Tyler wasn’t happy with this decision, he appeared to support it and even promised to give Miguel a glowing recommendation, though this was all a ruse; Tyler slipped a dollop of the drug Rapture into his wine to force Miguel to be reliant upon Alchemax to survive since they’re the only licensed distributor the highly addictive hallucinogen. The Rapture quickly took hold, driving Miguel into a rage and causing him to strike Dana; though she was forgiving and supportive of him, Miguel was incensed by the betrayal and the prospect of spending his life as a drug addict, so he returned to his lab in a bid to use his research to cure himself. However, Delgato alters the program of out spite, determined to pay Miguel back for speaking down to him and attempting to kill Miguel by infusing him with the spider DNA he was toying with earlier.
The mysterious new Spider-Man attracts Alchemax’s attention and sees him hunted by a cyborg.
Despite the system overloading and an almighty explosion, Delgato was stunned to find Miguel not only alive, but sporting fanged teeth, white eyes, and with spiked talons on his fingers. Terrified by Miguel’s monstrous appearance, Delgato opened fire, determined to both defend himself from what he saw as an attack and finish the job he started, but Miguel’s newfound agility allowed him to easily dodge the blasts. Delgato’s wild firing caused another explosion, though, that left him dangling precariously over the city below and, when Miguel tried to pull him up, his talons sliced into Delgato’s arm and caused him such agony that he plummeted to his death. Horrified by this, and with the Public Eye bursting in to investigate the lab, Miguel attempted to leap to his death, only to find himself capable of scaling walls with his talons and possessing the proportionate strength and speed of a spider. Cursing Delgato’s interference and cowardice, and finding himself unable to go through with his suicide, Miguel then caught a lift off a passing Thorite (a doomsayer dressed up like Thor Odinson who was flying around the city on a hang glider calling for people to repent). Caught up in the excitement of the escape, Miguel offhandedly referred to himself as Spider-Man, much to the delight of the Thorite, who saw it as a sure sign of his saviour’s second coming; while the Thorite was clearly nuts, he did help spirit Miguel to safety and encouraged him to mask his face like the wall-crawler of old. Thanks to the investigation of one of his elite operatives, the cybernetic bounty hunter-esque Venture, Tyler learns of the spider-powered individual; however, for all the technology of the future, all they have to go on are wireframe holographic recreations, so they have no idea of Spider-Man’s true identity and Venture was tasked with tracking him down.
When Venture comes calling, Miguel dons an awesome costume and engages him as Spider-Man.
Miguel returned home in a fever and woke to find that he has an aversion to bright lights and had shredded his bedding with his talons and that they instinctively retract whenever they come close to his skin, leaving him unharmed and with the hope that he can learn to consciously retract them in time or else he faces the prospect of shelling out for clothes made of “unstable molecules”. The only outfit he has made of this super-durable and malleable substance is a “Death’s Head” costume he wore to the Day of the Dead festival the previous year, and Miguel considers wearing it full time since his newfound condition spells the end of his normal life. After his home A.I., Lyla, tried and failed to cheer him up by changing its appearance to that of a snooty butler and frail old aunt, Gabe dropped by to check in on him; surprisingly, Miguel was very open about his condition, but Gabe naturally laughed it off in favour of lecturing him about Alchemax’s shady nature. Miguel was forced to toss Gabe out when he got an inkling of danger (a “spider-sense”, if you will) and spotted Venture outside his apartment building. Recognising the cyborg as one of Alchemax’s elite trackers, Miguel donned the Death’s Head outfit to turn Venture’s attention away from him and firmly towards Spider-Man. Although Miguel’s first attempt at intimidating the elite cyborg is less than he hoped and he struggles to work the costume’s webfoils, he managed to get the drop on Venture and catch him off-guard, only to be goaded into a fight when Venture attacked the Thorites who bravely, but foolishly, rush to the web-slinger’s aid. Since he’s a scientist and a smart mouth rather than a fighter, Miguel struggled against Venture, who easily countered Spider-Man’s style with his fighting prowess, numbing his arm with his electronic rod and giving Miguel enough pause to consider whether he’d gotten in over his head and should surrender rather than go toe-to-toe with Alchemax’s number one cyborg.
Though not a natural superhero, Miguel overcomes Venture through luck and guts rather than skill.
However, when Venture murdered one of the Thorites in cold blood and relished in the deed, Spider-Man was compelled to act; though Venture noted Spider-Man’s guts and was staggered by a fierce blow from the web-slinger, Miguel’s plan wasn’t to get into a brawl with the cyborg, but to lead him away from the crowd and back over the trail that’d led him to his apartment to again shake suspicion off his civilian identity. The trick appeared to work as Venture was focused only on nailing his target, regardless of whose apartment he trashed along the way, and the two traded barbs during their chase through the city skyline, with Venture expressing boredom and frustration at Spider-Man’s escape attempts. Although Miguel was able to surprise Venture with a sneak attack, the cyborg’s arsenal proved to be the deciding factor in their conflict; once Spider-Man was close enough, Venture stunned him with his rod and ensnared him in “molecularly dense body wrap”. However, Venture called in his success to Tyler Stone a little too early and didn’t account for Miguel’s talons, which allowed him to break free and sabotage the cyborg’s jet boots, and they were both left stunned when Venture’s attempt to rip Miguel’s arm off activated his organic webbing, blinding the cyborg and sending them crashing to the street below. Angered, Venture prepared to blindly open fire, so Spider-Man (still stunned by his incredibly strength) used a passing maglev car to relieve Venture of his weapon, hit him with it, and overload the cyborg’s systems using his own electrical rod. Although he survived the battle by the skin of his teeth, Miguel is left pondering his strange new abilities, which have cured his addiction to the Rapture but massively impacted not only his life but also that of Dana and Gabe, and the three-issue origin arc ends with Tyler knocking on Miguel’s door and asking to talk about Spider-Man…
The Summary: Marvel’s vision for the New York City of 2099 is one of a bustling cyberpunk metropolis that owes more than a little inspiration to the likes of Blade Runner (Scott, 1982); it’s a sprawling, technologically advanced society where the skies are filled with flying cars and hoverbikes, and the people of the future enjoy the benefits of advanced technology such as voice-activated conveniences, attentive artificial intelligence and holograms, and plasma-based weapons. Unsurprisingly, even language has evolved, with the expletive “Shock!” a common curse word, and there are many hints towards how the world has changed over the last one-hundred years; the age of heroes has seemingly past, with no active superheroes being mentioned, though the Thorites are certain that the God of Thunder will return to bring judgement to the masses and people are well aware of the likes of Spider-Man. Latveria is still a governing nation and Stark Enterprises is still operational, albeit in the form of Stark-Fujikawa following a corporate merger. One key difference, at least in these issues, is the public’s reaction to Spider-Man; they are largely impressed by him, especially when he fells the Public Eye or defends them against Venture, and he’s met with awe rather than hatred and fear. The Public Eye are obviously an exception, largely due to the influence of Alchemax and Tyler’s obsession with getting his hands on Spider-Man so he can dissect how he gained such incredible powers where others were met with a gruesome end.
Alchemax is not above killing, creating monsters, or employing sadistic cyborgs to achieve their goals.
Visually, the world of Spider-Man 2099 certainly pops; there’s nothing here we haven’t really seen in countless other futuristic stories and settings but everything’s very bright, detailed, and technologically slanted. It’s not a major plot point in this story, but Alchemax is presented as this highly influential and shady mega-corporation; both Dana and Gabe openly speak out about the heinous things the company is involved in and their desire to see Miguel wash his hands of his involvement with Alchemax. It’s a general rule that any corporation that’s involved in questionable genetic research is going to be malevolent but Alchemax definitely go all-in with it; Miguel’s research is apparently geared towards a military arm of the company, or to augment their troops with superhuman abilities, and Tyler is so keen to unlock the secret of genetic tampering that he’s happy to sacrifice lives to get his way. Alchemax goes one step further by producing Rapture, a deadly and addictive hallucinogen that many of its employees are already hooked on. Although it can be acquired on the black market, it’s heavily implied that Rapture is perfectly legal as Alchemax is fully licensed to distribute the drug and many in the city are under its sway, and Tyler maliciously gets Miguel hooked on the drug in order to keep him dependent on the company for a regular fix. This is, ultimately, an important but minor plot point; it’s what drives him to use his research to cure himself, sure, but once he gains his spider powers, Miguel is seemingly cured and the matter is dropped. Alchemax is also in the business of employing (and, presumably, creating) cyborg operatives to carry out more hands-on tasks. Venture is their top cyborg and boasts infrared vision, augmented strength, a wealth of futuristic weapons that constantly give him the edge against Spider-Man, and rocket boots that allow him to fly. Venture is also a sadist who’s perfectly happy to kill innocent civilians in pursuit of his target, and so confident in his abilities (especially when faced with Spider-Man’s sloppy fighting style) that he openly mocks Spider-Man at every turn and delights in putting a beating on him.
Miguel’s wit, unique powers, and striking costume make him a relatable and appealing, if reluctant, hero.
While there’s not much to the villains of the story (Alchemax is every evil corporation, Tyler and Delgato and Venture are all quite one-dimensional, being slimy corporate types, disgruntled authority figures, or cruel bounty hunters, respectively), Miguel absolutely steals the show, and rightfully so. While he has a likeness of Peter Parker, particularly in his hairstyle, he’s a very different character; for one thing, he’s actually a successful and presumably well-valued and well-paid scientist who works for the biggest corporation in the city. For another, he has a fancy apartment, a stable love life, and a brother who, while overprotective, is always on hand to look out for him. In many ways, Miguel takes some of Peter’s most recognisable aspects and dials them up to eleven: Peter had an aptitude for science so Miguel is a geneticist; Peter had a quick wit so Miguel is smarming off to anyone and everyone, leading to some genuinely amusing exchanges between him and other characters; Peter had the proportionate strength and speed of a spider so Miguel gets fangs, talons, and an overall more monstrous appearance. Indeed, while Spider-Man 2099 is very similar to his mainstream counterpart in terms of his abilities, he’s also very different thanks to Delgato cranking up the exposure to spider DNA. His talons allow him to climb walls but also afford him a brutal offensive weapon not exhibited by Peter (and lead to him amusingly slashing people’s clothes by accident), but Miguel is less attuned to his spider-sense; it constantly goes off through this arc, but he doesn’t understand what it is or equate to it warning him of danger. Miguel also boasts one of the best Spider-Man costumes; a stark black and red number that is both fearsome and striking, with shredded web appendages that allow him to briefly glide and control himself in mid-air. Ultimately, while Spider-Man 2099 lacks the finesse and polish of Peter Parker, he makes up for it in his down-to-earth personality, biting wit, and his guts; he’s clearly not a natural hero or fighter and is mostly reacting rather than acting, with his motivations being purely selfish in this origin story, and yet he still leaps into action when Venture attacks innocents, which I think speaks volumes to his appeal and the ongoing appeal of his comics.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Are you a fan of Spider-Man 2099? What did you think to Miguel, his smart mouth and his characterisation as a reluctant hero? Were you a fan of his costume and altered powers? What did you think to Venture and evil mega-corporation Alchemax? Did you enjoy Marvel’s futuristic vision of 2099? What other Marvel 2099 characters and stories did you enjoy from this period? Whatever your thoughts on Spider-Man 2099, feel free to share them below and be sure to check out my other Spider-Man content!
Sonic the Hedgehog was first introduced to gamers worldwide on this day back in 1991 and, since then, has become not only SEGA’s most enduring and popular character but also a beloved videogame icon and, in keeping with tradition, I have been dedicating the entire month to celebrating SEGA’s supersonic mascot.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 14 November 2006 Developer: Sonic Team Also Available For: PlayStation 3
The Background: It always surprises me how often I see people online touting the myth that Sonic the Hedgehog (henceforth Sonic ’06) is some under-rated classic and worthy of your time and attention but this really isn’t the case. As a life-long Sonic fan, I first played it on the PlayStation 3 and, while I enjoyed the cutscenes and the soundtrack, I was unimpressed with the many glitches, load times, and dreadful gameplay experience and haven’t returned to it since finishing the main campaigns some seventeen years ago. Sonic ’06’s development is an interesting story; intended to celebrate the franchise’s fifteenth anniversary, Sonic co-creator Yuji Naka was eager to reinvent Sonic for the then-current generation of high-definition consoles and even had the game take the simple title of Sonic the Hedgehog to indicate its status as a series reboot (despite its numerous narrative ties to previous Sonic games). Tools like the Havok engine allowed the developers to use new lighting options, a day and night system, and craft a far more realistic setting for Sonic and his friends, who were redesigned to better fit in with this aesthetic. Two characters whose gameplay greatly benefitted from the Havok physics engine were Shadow the Hedgehog, who was able to drive and pilot a variety of vehicles, and newcomer Silver the Hedgehog, whose telekinetic powers gave him more options for interacting with the environments. It wasn’t long, however, before Sonic ’06 ran into problems; Naka left the project, and Sonic Team, to form his own company, developing the cutscenes proved problematic, and the development team was split in two to develop a concurrent Nintendo Wii-exclusive Sonic title. Despite impressing with some pre-release footage, Sonic ’06 was met with universal derision upon release; while the graphics and music were seen as somewhat impressive, the level design and camera were heavily criticised, as was the awkward romance between Sonic and Princess Elise, and the game is generally seen as the worst in the franchise. Although it received a fair amount of downloadable content (DLC) following its release, Sonic ’06 was one of many sub-par Sonic games de-listed from online marketplaces for the longest time, and SEGA scrambled to make good on their next mainline Sonic title, which was the shot in the arm the franchise desperately needed after this travesty of a game.
The Plot: Doctor Eggman kidnaps Princess Elise of Soleanna to harness the destructive “Flames of Disaster” within her, and only Sonic the Hedgehog can save her from his clutches. However, his quest is obstructed by the mysterious Silver the Hedgehog, who has travelled back in time to stop a disaster he believes Sonic causes, while Shadow the Hedgehog works to uncover the truth behind the evil spirit Mephiles, who has stolen his form.
Gameplay: Sonic ’06 is a third-person, action/adventure platformer that divides its gameplay between three different main playable characters, three main story episodes, and largely attempts to focus on speed or action but also muddies its concept with janky physics, puzzle solving, and exploring a large hub world. Clearly taking inspiration from Sonic Adventure(Sonic Team, 1998), the game’s characters will wander around the large, mostly barren castle town of Soleanna, chatting to eerily lifelike non-playable characters (NPC) for hints or side missions when not taking on one of the nine main action stages. Also like in Sonic Adventure, you can only play as Sonic to start with and will unlock Shadow and Silver’s stories as you progress and encounter them and you’ll occasionally get to play as other characters during action stages and in the hub world as the story dictates, though this time you do get a rudimentary (often useless) compass to guide you around Soleanna and its other areas.
Run, grind, and spin about as Sonic but good luck controlling him in the awful Mach Speed sections.
Across the game’s three main characters and nine total playable characters, the controls are largely the same but each one has different abilities and play styles. Pressing A lets you jump or interact with characters, X will perform a special action, and you can use the Right Trigger to activate certain character abilities as dictated by a power meter that builds up as you defeat enemies (or stays constantly full if playing as Sonic). Sonic is, naturally, geared more towards speed; pressing A in mid-air will allow him to dash forwards towards the nearest enemy, spring, or other interactable object with the Homing Attack. Tapping X performs this super janky sweep kick and slide that allows you to slip under certain walls and often leaves you sliding about on your ass like an idiot, but holding X lets you charge up and release a Spin Dash. It’s worth noting that you cannot defeat enemies just by pressing A; even though Sonic’s in a ball as normal, this won’t inflict any damage and will cause you to lose Golden Rings, the life source of your characters. Sonic’s stages are full of dash pads, springs, loops, and other gimmicks designed to get him moving as fast as the sluggish game engine and messed up camera will allow; often, you’ll be battered about like a pinball and it’s usually better to simply relinquish control of Sonic or make very small inputs to the control stick or else you could miss a jump pad or just randomly fall through the environment. Sometimes, you’ll be told to “Jump!” and have to press A to hop from wall to wall to progress; other times, you can take a short cut on a rail, and you’ll soon acquire upgrades that let you dash along a trail of Rings with X (if the game actually registers your inputs) and perform a bounce move to gain extra height on your jump, along with other far more broken mechanics I’ll talk about later. Speaking of broke, though… Sonic has a unique gameplay feature wherein some stages will require him to “Speed up!” in a “Mach Speed” section. Here, Sonic will blast ahead at the speed of sound (or the closest approximation this sluggish engine allows), barely giving you any time to react to incoming obstacles and enemies. You’ll need to jump way ahead of time to clear these hazards, and sometimes the controls and camera will force you to run towards the screen or at an angle, practically guaranteeing that you’ll take damage, fall through the environment, or just be sent spiralling to your death. As a precursor to the later “Boost” mechanic, these are some broken, glitchy, messed up sections that can burn through your lives faster than the shit-ass collision detection and are easily one of the worst parts of Sonic’s gameplay.
Shadow’s geared more towards awkward combat and janky vehicle gameplay.
After clearing Sonic’s episode, I played Shadow’s story, which is kind of akin to the hard mode of the game (outside of the DLC). Shadow plays a lot like Sonic; he’s fast, performs a Homing Attack and Spin Dash, hops on the same rails and boost pads and uses the same gimmicks as Sonic, such as flying on an eagle and riding water currents. Unlike Sonic, Shadow’s gameplay is geared more towards activating switches, destroying stuff, and combat; kind of like in the under-rated Shadow the Hedgehog (SEGA Studios USA, 2005), Shadow can perform the Chaos Spear in mid-air by pressing X (or holding X to charge it up), which will stun nearby enemies, and you can mash A after a Homing Attack to do a little combo. More often than not, this will either miss or see you attacking thin air; while this often still damages enemies, so broken is this game, it usually leaves you vulnerable. Shadow can also perform the Light Speed Dash and he also has a meter that builds up as he defeats enemies; once full, he can pull off a “Chaos Boost” with RT that smashes certain rocks and seems to increase his attack power (but not his durability), and this can be upgraded with Memory Shards you purchase from shops. Although Shadow doesn’t pick up and use guns and weapons like in his solo title, he can hop into a number of vehicles; you’ll take the controls of buggies, motorcycles, hovercrafts, and gliders either as an option or by choice in order to progress. You can press Y to hop in and out, A to accelerate, X to reverse, and use the vehicle’s weapons with RT, though you can’t be too trigger happy as weapons will need to cool down or reload over time. When in the hang glider, the game switches to a kind of auto scrolling shooter and has you blasting enemies and obstacles and dodging hazards to not get hurt; the hovercraft allows you safe passage over quicksand and instant death water, but they can both be tricky to control and it’s not always clear where you need to go, with Dusty Desert requiring you to pass through a series of stone columns to open a door. Other vehicles, like the buggy and motorcycle, are more optional and often ill advised; it’s better not to have to contend with the buggy’s janky collision detection and tumbling physics in Crisis City but the motorcycle can help you to catch up to Dr. Eggman’s speeding train…if you can control its breakneck speed, of course!
Silver’s far slower and has to endure frustrating platforming and puzzles.
Last of all, I played as newcomer Silver, who’s this naïve little telekinetic hedgehog from a wrecked future who’s come back in time to kill Sonic. He’s basically Future Trunks but far more gullible. Of the three main characters, Silver is the slowest; he trots along like he has rocks in his boots and can neither Spin Dash or roll into a ball when jumping, though he can still bounce on springs and be propelled along (and through the environment…) by dash pads. His gameplay is significantly different thanks to his telekinesis, which allows him to float by holding A, grab incoming projectiles or nearby crates and objects with RT, and hurl them back at enemies or towards destructible targets with X. These powers are tied to his meter, which refills automatically as long as you’re not jumping, and Silver can also create paths, construct bridges, or turn girders and such into springs to progress onwards by holding RT on special glowing circular spots. Silver’s gameplay is much slower and more deliberate and more focused on exploration, platforming, and puzzle solving; side quests see him navigating through rings in platforming challenges, for example, or moving or tossing objects with his mental powers, and action stages are reconfigured to allow him to charge certain platforms to spring himself upwards, carry him across gaps, balance weights with boxes, or guide large balls of magnesium through laser traps. One of his most frustrating gimmicks crops up in Dusty Desert; here, you must use Silver’s telekinetic push (which can be used with a tap or charge of X) to knock giant billiard balls into holes within ten moves. Later, you have to hit one such ball down a narrow, winding corridor trying to avoid holes and such, which can be very tricky, and Silver’s piss-poor jump and expendable meter can make platforming across temporary and sliding platforms a chore in later stages.
You can briefly also control a bunch of slippery supporting characters who can break the game.
As you play through each episode, you’ll get the chance to switch to one of the other three playable characters mid-way through certain action stages as their paths cross, and each character is supported by two allies who occasionally follow them across Soleanna and throughout the action stages. Sonic teams up with Miles “Tails” Prower and Knuckles the Echidna, Shadow is joined by Rouge the Bat and E-123Ω “Omega”, and Silver falls in with Amy Rose and is supported by Blaze the Cat. Each of these has their own unique playstyles, though some are shared. Knuckles and Rouge can both glide and climb walls (though good luck detaching from some walls and fighting against the camera, which tends to freak out while following you) and can attack with punches and kicks (though not with their glide…), Tails can toss Dummy Ring Boxes at enemies with X and “snipe” at them by holding the button, which Rouge can also do with her bombs (though she can also place these on walls). Tails can also fly for a short time and will get a boost by flying through mid-air rings like in Sonic Adventure, while Omega can float along and awkwardly boost up to platforms with his jetpack, target multiple enemies by holding X or perform a big power shot by pressing X in mid-air. Amy uses her signature Pike-Piko Hammer to smash enemies, but its range is so short and broken that it’s hard to avoid taking damage; she also has a pretty broken double jump but is largely a shadow of her former Sonic Adventure self. Blaze is also pretty broken; she has this homing tornado attack that sees her just dart about like she’s possessed and can also perform a flaming twirl; she’s okay as long as you keep the reigns tight with her but she (and all of these “amigos”) are very slippery and unwieldy. Generally, you switch to them to platform across a small area, take out enemies, and hit switches but you’ll also switch to controlling them in the hub world for side quests and take on easily the most frustrating stages in the game in the final chapter. When playing as Sonic, you’ll also have to carry Princess Elise to safety a few times; in these stages, she’s constantly in your arms but you can still perform a version of your Homing Attack and she’ll even shield you from quicksand and water when you hold RT, though this is dependent on your meter.
Graphics and Sound: One of the best things Sonic ’06 has going for it is it’s awesome soundtrack; Sonic games have always had great soundtracks but, ever since the pop/punk-rock direction of Sonic Adventure, the 3D games just went from strength to strength during this time. The main theme, “His World”, is a suitably catchy tune from Ali Tabatabaee and Matty Lewis of Zebrahead, while long-time Sonic collaborators Crush 40 performed an awesome cover of “All Hail Shadow” as Shadow’s theme. Even Silver’s disco-infused jive, “Dreams of an Absolution”, is pretty great and there’s even a sappy lyrical cover of Dreams Come True’s “Sweet Sweet Sweet” by Akon included. While the hub worlds don’t exactly impress in the music department, the action stages and boss battles all fare pretty well, with the music (like much of the game’s presentation) again harkening back to Sonic Adventure. Where the game falters, however, is in the voice acting; once again, the Sonic X (2003 to 2005) cast return and, once again, I remain unimpressed by Jason Griffith’s stilted, unenthusiastic portrayal of the character. Every word out of his mouth is lacking in emotion or passion and just sounds like someone reading a script, and Amy Palant is at her most grating as Tails but, to be fair, the script is absolutely awful at times with such cringe-worthy lines as “It looks like the princess has been moved to another location”, words not matching the subtitles, and even a botched take included. Thankfully, Mike Pollock is still great as Dr. Eggman and even Dan Green does a decent, if over the top, job as the unnecessarily dark Mephiles.
Despite the high-quality cinematics and music, this game is a laggy, buggy, glitched mess.
Graphically, the game is an equally mixed back; the high-quality cinematics are fantastic and another of the game’s few highlights, showcasing Sonic and his friends and enemies in all their glory. The cutscenes that use the in-game engine, however, aren’t quite as impressive; characters plod about like puppets, the physics are as all over the place as during gameplay, and there’s a distinct lack of polish to these. The NPCs are even worse, flailing their arms about and yapping their mouths just to say “Thank you” and very few of them make an impression beyond the agonising load times. Any time you want to start a side quest, you need to talk to an NPC; accept their mission and you get a load screen, then the NPC says something like “Go for it!” and you get another load screen. Clear or fail the mission and you get another load screen, then another dialogue box, then the results screen…and then another load screen. Loading screens even interrupt the action stages as well, with new areas needing to be loaded in mid-way through and this can even screw up your run as you can be dropped into the action without warning, which can cause you to miss dash pads or get hit by enemies. While the gameplay is generally okay, the controls, overall, are as slippery and finnicky as the camera; the camera never seems to be where you want it, freaks out for no reason, and is a constant source of frustration but sometimes the game just won’t register your inputs, or randomly decides it doesn’t need any inputs…until it does…or you just run head-first into an obstacle or through the environment and to your death. There are times where characters glitch out, erratically flailing all over the place, times when you can walk on vertical surfaces or ceilings, and times when the ground suddenly loses its collision detection. Collision detection, on the whole, is broken to all hell in Sonic ’06; you’ll pass right through objects, enemies can fire at you through walls and doors, and the entire game’s performance suffers as bad as an 8-bit title sometimes when too much is happening on screen.
Stages are varied, but nothing new and basically rip-offs from Sonic Adventure.
Sonic ’06 is also a bit weird in terms of its environments; taking the real-world-meets-fantasy premise of Sonic Adventure and really running with it, the game takes place in a castle town that’s similar to Venice or Europe but, while Soleanna looks pretty, it’s very lifeless and there’s not much to see or do. Action stages are accessed using mirror gates, which is a step down from Sonic Adventure, and many are just poor recreations of gimmicks from that game; we’ve got a beach (complete with killer whale), a snowy mountain (complete with snowboarding section and giant snowball), a volcano level (which includes a frustrating light puzzle that you’ll be doing at least three times), and even the Egg Carrier shows up again (though you don’t get to visit it here). You’ll also cross a desert (complete with instant death, barely tangible quicksand), a swamp-like jungle filled with ruins and featuring springboard lilies and turtles to ride, and storm through Dr. Eggman’s underwater base, which is full of annoying bubbles of magnesium and glass doors but does have some interesting visuals in its aquarium motif. Two of the worst stages in the game are Kingdom Valley, a ruined castle-like environment full of water and collapsing columns, and Crisis City, an apocalyptic city full of fire traps and besieged by a raging tornado. For the most part, the visuals actually aren’t too bad; the level of detail in Crisis City’s destruction is a stark contrast to the bright, cheery joy of Wave Ocean, and there are a few unique gimmicks in each stage; sometimes you’ll be jumping over mace-filled sand waves, or springing from ropes, or racing across the surface of the water desperately hoping that the game will stay stable, but mostly you’re just charging to the finish, ranking be damned, and trying not to die.
Enemies and Bosses: For the most part, Sonic ’06 does away with the traditional Badniks and replaces them with very Sonic X-esque mechs; these military-style robots drop from the sky and hobble about shooting missiles, bullets, and plasma shots at you and, upon destruction, will fill your meter and award you points for your score ranking. Some hover in the air shooting lasers, some are smaller and more akin to Badniks and can be destroyed by targeting their leader, and some are much bigger, shooting their arms at you and requiring that you knock them down to target their power core. As the story progresses (or sooner, depending on who you play as), you’ll also battle Iblis Monsters that are very similar to the Black Arms from Shadow the Hedgehog; there’s leaping and fire-breathing lizards, flaming bats that swoop down at you, big projectile-spitting worms that burst up from the ground at the worst moments, and large magma-like titans who hurl rocks at you. Sonic and Shadow can chain together successive Homing Attacks to get past all of these, each of which slows the action down with a life bar, but Silver and Tails and the like will have to resort to throwing stuff at them. For the most part, they’re just obstacles, as annoying and inconvenient as the spikes and spike walls and flame plumes, but they’re incredibly generic for Sonic enemies and get repetitive very quickly.
Dr. Eggman’s contraptions are sadly few and far between, and quite repetitive.
There are eleven bosses in Sonic ’06; three are fought by all three main characters in slightly different locations in the story, two are rival battles, four are exclusive fights, and one is, obviously the final boss. First, let’s talk about Dr. Eggman’s massive mechanical monstrosities, the Egg-Cerberus and the Egg-Genesis, though neither are much of a threat. The Egg-Cerberus races around the arena smashing down columns and towers, occasionally pouncing at you, and emitting a destructive shockwave that you need to jump over. Sonic and Shadow must avoid these attacks and then grind up the robot dog’s tail to Homing Attack the control antenna on its head, then you need to awkwardly direct the machine to run into a wall to damage itself. When you’ve dealt enough damage, it’ll jump to the background and let Egg Gunners shoot at you before trying to squash you, and the fight is made trickier with Shadow as he has that janky melee function. The Egg-Genesis is much easier by comparison; this floating battleship fires missiles, Egg Fliers, and Egg Gunners at you and can only be damaged by attacking the glowing core underneath it (as Sonic) or by sending missiles and objects flying at its arms and core as Silver, Omega also battles this boss in the DLC, though this is even easier thanks to his greater arsenal of weapons, however you do have to be careful to avoid its high-powered homing laser attack and its suicide run when it’s health is drained. The only time you’ll battle Dr. Eggman one-on-one is in Sonic’s story in a variation of the Egg Viper boss from Sonic Adventure; floating amongst the clouds outside the crumbling Egg Carrier, Dr. Eggman will attack you from the Egg-Wyvern, swooping by and firing projectiles at you, blasting a big homing shot, and destroying your platforms with its harpoons. When it swoops over the gantry, you need to quickly Homing Attack the antenna and try and cause it to fly into some debris; Dr. Eggman will then send out some pods you can attack to hit him directly but, again, he’ll try and obliterate you with a suicide run near the end so be on your toes.
Iblis comes in many monstrous, frustrating forms, though Mephiles is ridiculously easy.
Another recurring boss is the flaming demon who has ravaged the future, Iblis. Essentially the fire counterpart to Chaos, this mindless beast is encountered in three different forms, with Silver having to battle two that are exclusive to him. Sonic and Shadow will battle Iblis’s second form inside a volcano after clearing Flame Core; this is a slow and boring battle that can get very annoying as you basically have a few rock platforms to jump to and Iblis will routinely cause more to drop from the ceiling while also destroying some in its attempts to attack you, which almost always manages to hurt you. Hop over the platforms to one of the three orbs and wait for Iblis to prep for its jump, dodging any flaming projectiles it sends your way. When it’s about to jump, activate the orb with a Homing Attack and Iblis will get stuck, allowing you to attack its weak spot on its head, and then the whole thing repeats with Iblis’s attacks becoming more aggressive and it even trying to ram you for the final hit. Silver battles Iblis’s first and third form at the start and end of his story and on a 2.5D pane; in the first encounter, Iblis blasts flaming rocks at you and tries to crush you with entire buildings, but you can simply avoid these attacks and telekinetically toss its projectiles back at it to break away its rocky outer shell. The last battle is a bit trickier; Iblis is constantly moves towards you, again raining projectiles across a small stone platform that it will chip away at until it’s completely destroyed. Iblis also sends out flaming shockwaves that you either need to jump over or stand under and conjures a massive flaming comet to throw at you. However, don’t be intimidated by its size; simply catch it with your telekinesis and send it back to the creature along with any other projectiles you can; eventually, it’ll collapse near your platform and you can float over to use the psychokinesis pad to deal big damage. Shadow also gets two exclusive battles against Iblis’s other half, Mephiles; in the first fight, you need to continuously attack his mini shades until you can perform a Chaos Boost, which will draw him out from your shadow and allow you to land Homing and melee attacks. After enough damage is dealt, you’ll switch to Omega and finish him off with the robot’s massive cannons, but you won’t have any help in the second battle. This time, Mephiles is protected by a shield and conjures large, laser-firing shadow monsters that you must defeat to build up your meter. Activating Chaos Boost again draws Mephiles out so you can attack him, though he darts about to make himself a harder target, commands his shades to swarm you, and fires a massive energy ball at you before forcing you to chain together Homing Attacks to reach him for the final hit.
After struggling through the rival fights, all three hedgehogs power-up todefeat Solaris.
Like in Sonic Adventure, you’ll also have to take on rival battles against Sonic, Silver, and Shadow. The first of these is probably Sonic ’06’s most infamous legacy; when you face Silver in Soleanna, he’ll throw shit at you and, if you attack him directly or even face him, he’ll grab you with his telekinesis and send you flying with a cry of “It’s no use! Ta-ake this!” Literally nine times out of then, you’ll get locked in a vicious cycle where he does this over and over either until you’re dead or you have to restart as you keep collecting one Ring upon damage, but you can get around this. Basically, you need to grab some Rings and run around and far away like an idiot; you won’t be able to see Silver because the camera is awful but, eventually, you’ll here him cry “How about this!”, which is when he gathers up projectiles to throw at you; this is your chance to attack him but for God’s sake dash away immediately after or else he’ll grab you. This is slightly harder with Shadow as you can’t easily chain Homing Attacks, meaning you’ll end up attacking the air instead of escaping, and Silver tends to blast you upwards as well. When playing as Silver, these battles are much easier but can still be annoying; both Sonic and Shadow can attack from afar with their Homing Attacks and you’ll have to run around like a moron waiting for projectiles to pop back in for you to throw at them. If you’re able to keep from rage quitting when playing through the ridiculously hard final stage, with its instant-death time rips and wonky physics, you’ll take on Solaris in the final battle. Here, Super Sonic, Super Shadow, and Super Silver have to take it in turns to attack the raging Sun God; you can switch between them with Y (the other two will “collect Rings” in the mean time so you shouldn’t ever run out of power) and attack with X (Super Sonic charges ahead, Super Shadow launches and charges Chaos Spear, and Super Silver captures projectiles with LT and tosses them at Solaris). It’s not massively clear (ironically, unlike other Sonic games, the supporting cast doesn’t give you clear direction) but, to start with, you need to destroy Solaris’s arm with Super Silver, then the other arm with Super Shadow, and finish it off with Super Sonic all while it throws projectiles and screen-filling lasers at you. In its second phase, Solaris is much more aggressive but it’s pretty simple to stay out of range of its lasers and switch to whichever hedgehog it’s not shielding against to defeat (and probably for an S-Rank as well).
Power-Ups and Bonuses: As in pretty much every Sonic game, Golden Rings are your life source; as long as you have at least one, you’ll survive most attacks and, with a hundred, you’ll earn an extra life. As ever, you’ll also find Item Boxes strewn around the action stages that’ll grant you a speed-up (practically a death sentence with this game’s wonky physics!), the rare invincibility, an extra life (which annoyingly won’t respawn if you die after a checkpoint), a bunch of rings (either five, ten, or twenty), or fill your meter so you can perform Chaos Boost or telekinesis. You’ll also spot rainbow rings around the place, which will give you a score boost and act as shortcuts, and there are a decent number of checkpoints (though sporadically; some stages need more, some don’t need any). When you finish a mission or action stage, you’ll receive a ranking based on your score, time, and performance; the higher your ranking, the more Rings you earn and can then spend at shops around Soleanna. This allows you to buy upgrades for Sonic, Shadow, and Silver, such as the Light Speed Dash, bounce, and Chaos Boost, but you’ll also be able to perform more powerful attacks as Shadow and Silver to stun nearby enemies. Sonic’s upgrades take the form of gems and change the colour of his shoes; you can switch between these with the directional pad and activate them with RT for some truly bizarre and game-breaking effects. Sonic can toss an emerald and teleport to it, stop in mid-air to charge his Homing Attack, blast ahead with Mach Speed at any time, shrink, create a magnetic shield to attract Rings, and whip up a tornado to deal damage though, honestly, I never used any of these and found most of them were either useless or didn’t work as intended.
Additional Features: There are twenty-three Achievements up for grabs in Sonic ’06 and they’re all pretty rubbish. You get an Achievement for clearing each episode, and then finishing the last story, and another three Achievements for fully upgrading each of the three playable characters. You’ll also get Achievements for finishing the story on Hard mode, completing every side mission (easily accessible from the main menu, thankfully), and for finding and earning every Silver and Gold Medal in the game, meaning you need to complete every mission and stage with an S-Rank. Silver Medals are scattered throughout the stages and Gold Medals are awarded for clearing stages and, as I said, getting S-Ranks so good luck in obtaining all of them with this dodgy game! Sonic ’06 was also bolstered by some DLC, which includes an even harder difficulty setting, a boss rush, and the “Team Attack Amigo” pack. This is somewhat similar to the last stage of the game and has you playing through short sections of the main story as the supporting characters (Tails, Rouge, etc), culminating in a boss fight against the Egg-Genesis as Omega. You’ll also unlock a sound test and movie theatre and can play a rudimentary multiplayer mode similar to the one seen in Sonic Adventure 2(Sonic Team USA, 2001) in which two players either work together to find Chaos Emeralds or race against each other, but I can’t imagine anyone wanting to play this mess of a game with you.
The Summary: This is the first time I’ve played Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) since I first finished it on the PlayStation 3 and there’s a damn good reason for that. Yes, surprise surprise, I do not hold Sonic ’06 in high esteem; for me, this is one of the absolute worst Sonic games ever made, and one of the worst videogames ever made, and nothing and no one will ever convince me otherwise. The potential is there, and that actually makes things worse; the high-quality cutscenes, the soundtrack, even some of the new characters and concepts are all very appealing. The call-backs to Sonic Adventure are fun…on paper, but the whole game feels like a downgrade and a poor imitation of that far superior and varied classic 3D Sonic title. But what really kills the game is the gameplay; Sonic ’06 is just all over the place, juggling too much and stretching itself too thin, and the game engine cannot handle it. Slowdown, glitches, and diabolical hit detection combined with ridiculous load times and an absolutely atrocious camera are enough to drag this game down but when you factor in the almost unplayable Mach Speed sections, the janky vehicle combat, and Silver’s slow, frustrating gameplay then you hardly have a winning formula. I give the game props for having other characters be playable, even in supporting roles, but they’re poorly implemented and it’s a missed opportunity to not allow the “Amigos” to be playable in every stage and mission. A lack of boss variety, unclear objectives, and some game-breaking shit like the Silver boss and Sonic’s upgrades only exacerbate the game’s issues; the side missions basically amount to defeating enemies or passing through rings and there’s just not much on offer to keep you coming back. Sonic ’06 is more than a slog; it’s like stumbling through quicksand and it throws some ludicrous roadblocks in your way, from racing to stop or destroy a train to desperately trying to dodge instant-kill hazards. To me, there’s little saving grace to this game; it certainly wasn’t the big reboot or return to form the franchise needed and was, instead, a slap in the face to gamers everywhere and a massively rush, missed opportunity for SEGA’s high-speed mascot.
My Rating:
⭐
Rating: 1 out of 5.
Terrible
Can you think of anythinggood about Sonic ’06 that isn’t the soundtrack or cutscenes? What did you think to Silver and the three different gameplay styles on offer? Which was your favourite and did you enjoy playing as the likes of Tails and such? What did you think to the story, Mephiles, and the never-ending quest to rescue Princess Elise? Did you ever find all the Medals? What’s your favourite Sonic game, good or bad? How are you celebrating Sonic’s anniversary today? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic ’06, share them down below or start the discussion on my social media.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Story Title: “Flashpoint” (comprised of “Chapter One” to “Chapter Five”) Published: July 2011 to October 2011 Writer: Geoff Johns Artist: Andy Kubert
The Background: Robert Kanigher and artist Carmine Infantino introduced readers to Barry Allen/The Flash in Showcase #4 (1956) and heralded the “Silver Age” of comics; this new incarnation of the Scarlet Speedster may have taken the place of his predecessor, Jay Garrick, but it wasn’t too long before the two were coming face-to-face thanks to the concept of the multiverse. Barry fast became one of the most popular and iconic characters to carry the Flash mantle, and his death in Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1985 to 1986) was long-regarded as one of the few permanent fixtures in comics. However, in the ridiculously confusing Final Crisis event (Morrison, et al, 2008 to 2009), DC finally brought Barry back and reinstated him as the Flash, a decision that irked (and continues to irk) many fans of his replacement, Wally West. Though Barry was returned to a world that had largely passed him by, a series of retcons enabled him to slip back into his old role; however, despite having already torn apart and rebuilt the multiverse just five years prior in Infinite Crisis (Johns, et al, 2005 to 2006), writer Geoff Johns decided to shake up the DC Universe with this five-issue event, which was bolstered by a number of tie-in stories. Flashpoint saw massive changes to DC’s timeline, characters, and continuity; it directly led to one of my least-favourite eras of the comics, The New 52, and both compressed, altered, and confused many of DC’s storylines. The story proved quite influential, however; not only was it partially referenced in The Flash (2014 to present), it was also adapted into a well-received direct-to-DVD animated feature, and served as significant inspiration for the Flash’s big-screen solo film.
The Review: Flashpoint begins and is punctuated by narration from Professor Zoom, Eobard Thawne/The Reverse-Flash, Barry Allen’s long-time nemesis who has a warped hero worship of the Flash that compels him to cause the Fastest Man Alive nothing but pain and misery in a twisted attempt to make him a better hero. A series of little flashbacks establish Barry’s close relationship with his mother early on; he adored Nora as a child and the mystery of her strange and brutal death haunted him even into his adult life, where he became a forensic scientist. Once he was struck by that errant lightning bolt and gained his superspeed, the Flash found a happiness that was missing from his life: friends and colleagues in the Justice League, love with his own wife, Iris West, and a family of fellow speedsters. However, all of that randomly changes for Barry when he’s roused from sleep at the Central City Police Department to find that Central City is under the protection of a questionable hero, Leonard Snart/Citizen Cold, the Flash’s rogues gallery doesn’t exist and, to Barry’s horror, he no longer has his superspeed or identity as the Flash.
Barry finds the world has changed for the worst and that Bruce has been replaced by his violent father!
If that wasn’t bad enough, Iris is in a loving relationship with another man; however, on the plus side, Nora Allen is still alive but, while Barry is overjoyed at being reunited with his beloved mother, his analytical mind immediately sets to work trying to figure out what’s happened to the world; he still remembers heroes like Clark Kent/Superman and the Justice League, but neither of these aspects appear to exist anymore…with one exception: Batman. The story jumps over to Gotham City, now a bustling metropolis with neon billboards promoting “Wayne Resorts and Casinos” and haunted by a far darker and more violent version of the Caped Crusader. While this Batman is far more callous than his mainline counterpart, and perfectly happy with tossing costumed baddies to their deaths, he’s just as driven to hunting down the Joker, and especially motivated as the Harlequin of Hate has kidnapped Mayor Harvey Dent’s twins. His investigation is interrupted by Victor Stone/Cyborg who, rather than judging Batman’s violent methods, invites him to align with a motley crew of alternative heroes and villains in order to oppose Arthur Curry/Aquaman and Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, whose warring nations threaten to destroy the world in their conflict. Batman, however, is uninterested in joining their cause since none of them stand a chance at fighting the Atlanteans and the Amazons, and his disinterest causes many of Cyborg’s followers to cut out as well, leaving the man-machine despondent. Confused and desperate for answers, Barry is forced to endure the frustration of traffic jams in order to travel to Gotham City to ask Bruce Wayne for help. However, when he arrives at Wayne Manor, he finds Alfred Pennyworth missing, the stately home in disarray, and is shocked to discover that this Batman isn’t Bruce…but his father, Doctor Thomas Wayne!
Barry goes to extreme lengths to regain his powers before he loses his memories of the original timeline.
In this world, it was young Bruce who died that night in Crime Alley, turning Thomas into a brutal and sadistic bat-themed vigilante. Believing Barry to be delusional, and angered at his knowledge of Bruce, Thomas breaks Barry’s finger and puts a beating on him, unimpressed with his claims to be the Fastest Man Alive. The conflict with Thomas not only assaults Barry’s body, but also his mind as his memories start to change to align with this new world, one caught in the middle of a war between Atlantis and Themyscira that has devastated large parts of the world. One year previously, the hostile Aquaman and his half-brother Orm Marius/Ocean Master flooded much of Western Europe and, before that, Wonder Woman and her Amazons attacked and conquered London, re-christening it New Themyscira. Barry finds his Flash ring in the Batcave but is shocked to find Thawne’s Reverse-Flash uniform in there instead of his Flash costume and theorises that the maniacal time-traveller must be behind the changes to the timeline. Although initially sceptical of Barry’s story, Thomas is intrigued by Barry’s tragic and twisted history with Thawne, who purposely travelled back in time to cause him anguish by killing his mother and hounding his superhero career, and spurred to help him since restoring the timeline will mean that Bruce never gets murdered. However, the only way they can hope to achieve this is to restore Barry’s superspeed before he forgets everything about the previous timeline, but his initial attempt to recreate the accident that doused him with chemicals and saw him struck by lightning leaves him a charred and scarred mess. Although left in agonising pain from third degree burns over seventy-five percent of his body, Barry is adamant about trying again, with an even bigger bolt of lightning, before his new memories completely override everything he used to be and know. Thomas, of course, thinks he’s a madman for risking his life in such a desperate attempt, but the second bolt of lightning does the trick and Barry’s superspeed and connection to the Speed Force is restored, which has the added effect of speeding up his recovery time. Barry whips himself up a fresh new Flash costume and sets to work trying to figure out what else has changed in this new timeline and who else is available to help; he explains the dangers and mechanics of time travel to a cynical Thomas, that Thawne is afforded additional abilities thanks to his “Negative” Speed Force and has no compunction about screwing up the timeline, which can have serious consequences even if only small changes are made.
Since Superman’s no help, Batman joins the Resistance, but they’re hopelessly outmatched against their foes.
Believing that Thawne purposely orchestrated this new timeline to take the world’s greatest superheroes out of action, Barry discovers that the Kryptonian rocket carrying the infant Superman crashed into Metropolis and killed thirty-five thousand people, and Thomas agrees to be Cyborg’s strategist in exchange for access to classified government information on the rocket that only Victor can supply. Thomas has absolutely no problem with deceiving Cyborg since, if they’re successful, time will be forever changed and none of their strife will have happened or mattered, which is perfectly fine with this jaded, semi-suicidal version of Batman. Cyborg leads the two to a secret underground facility beneath Metropolis, the home of “Project: Superman”, which they sneak into and discover the skeletal remains of a Kryptonian canine and an emaciated, terrified Kal-El who has been routinely tortured, experimented on, and kept out of the sun’s rays his entire life. Batman is less than impressed with Barry’s so-called “saviour”, who has little to no control over his powers and deserts them the moment that General Sam Lane’s soldiers close in. Thankfully, they’re saved by Emily Sung/Element Woman, who chemically incapacitates the soldiers, but Barry continues to be plagued by the physical pain and seizures his new memories cause him; these show a life where his mother was constantly by his side encouraging him, even after his father’s tragic heart attack, and a version of Barry who continuously struggled to find a woman to settle down with. After Colonel Steve Trevor fails to liberate reporter Lois Lane from New Themyscira, the United States President is left with no choice but to employ the full might of the U. S. military, which results in Hal Jordan (who never received the Green Lantern ring in this world and resents the world’s superheroes for not getting involved in the greater conflict) being shot down and killed by the Amazon’s invisible jets. With the entire world on the brink of all-out war, and the United Kingdom threatened by a devastating tidal wave, Barry berates Thomas for writing his world off; arguing that, at any moment, Barry could completely forget Bruce and the former timeline, Barry encourages Cyborg to make contact with the superhero community to defend the world and, although their ace in the hole, “Superman”, has literally flown the coop, they’re joined by Billy Batson and his adopted family, who are collectively known as Captain Thunder in this world. Such is the allure of Batman’s urban legend that all it takes is his involvement and leadership to unite the world’s superheroes in interceding in the battle between Aquaman and Wonder Woman, however they’re betrayed by June Moon/The Enchantress, who forcibly transforms Captain Thunder back into his mortal form so that Diana can run him through with her sword.
Reverse-Flash’s boasting is cut short and Barry is seemingly able to set the timeline right…
It’s here, in the midst of a brutal war with the fate of this alternative world in the balance, that the Reverse-Flash finally makes his physically appearance. Naturally, a vicious fist fight breaks out between the two, but Barry is devastated to learn that it was he who caused this dark new timeline and not Thawne. Thawne “[resets Barry’s] internal vibrations” to reveal that Barry was so distraught after learning that Thawne killed his mother that he pushed himself further than he’d ever gone before, travelled back in time, and called upon the entire power of the Speed Force to prevent that event from ever happening. The result was a fracturing of the timeline in wild and unpredictable ways, and also that Thawne has been “removed from the timeline” so that, no matter what happens in the past, present, or future, he will continue to exist to plague his foe. This means that Thawne no longer has to rely on Barry being alive to ensure his creation in the far future, and nothing Barry does will prevent Thawne from existing. However, just as it seems like Thawne has achieved his ultimate victory, Batman stabs Thawne through the back and kills him, admonishing him for turning his back on the battlefield. Even though Superman makes a dramatic reappearance to join the fight, the war escalates uncontrollably; Atlantis plans to sink the United Kingdom and Enchantress mortally wounds Batman, who begs Barry to set things right. Reluctant to leave the world to its fate, Barry first stops by to talk to his mother, who encourages him to do the right thing since he’s literally sacrificed billions of lives and made the world a complete hellhole just to save her life. Heartbroken, but galvanised by her blessing, Barry intercepts his past self and knocks him from the Cosmic Treadmill but, when he returns to the time stream, Barry finds that there are three separate, competing timelines and a mysterious, hooded woman warns that time has been splintered and that only Barry can help merge them back into one unified timeline. When Barry awakens at his desk, the world appears to be back to normal; the first thing he does is race to the Batcave to talk with Bruce, who is once again Batman and who, surprisingly, reassurances Barry that he’s only human and couldn’t have known that saving his mother would have screwed the world up so badly. In an interesting twist, Barry retains his memories of the “Flashpoint” universe, and leaves Bruce in tears when he delivers him a letter rom his father. However, Barry fails to notice a few changes that have occurred as a result of his time meddling; not only is his Flash suit different, but so is the Batsuit, and all of the world’s heroes have been altered into their God-awful “New 52” forms, but the extent of Barry’s actions wouldn’t be revealed for some time and, for all intents and purposes, this is now the “real world”.
The Summary: If there’s one reason to read Flashpoint, it’s the gorgeous artwork by Andy Kubert; stylistically similar to Jim Lee and John Romita Jr., Kubert really emphasises the kinetic energy of his characters, which is perfect for the Flash, while still balancing the many secondary characters in a way that’s bold and striking and crafting a far darker and more fearsome rendition of Batman. Each issue is accompanied by supplementary materials about this changed world, such as a world map that shows who controls which territory and where these new groups of alternative characters operate, and line art showing Kubert’s process. Sadly, though, just reading the main five issues doesn’t give you the entire story of Flashpoint; like pretty much every big Crisis and crossover event these days, Flashpoint was accompanied by four one-shots, two preludes, and no less than seven additional tie-in titles that further explored this alternative world and these far darker, less hopeful characters. I haven’t actually read any of these as I never felt compelled to explore it further as I subscribed to Thomas Wayne’s philosophy that it really doesn’t matter what happened to him, Aquaman, Hal Jordan, or any of the other characters changed by Barry’s actions as the timeline is reset at the end of the story. That and I really can’t afford to by the omnibus edition that collects all these issues, I don’t want any of the tie-ins taking up space on my shelves, and I really don’t care for the story enough to want to read any more about it.
Barry really comes across as a hypocritical, selfish asshole in this story.
This really isn’t a great story, or look, for Barry Allen. For someone like me, who grew up reading Wally West’s adventures as the Flash, it was already quite the insult to have him so readily supplanted by his predecessor, but to write a story where Barry’s so selfish that he screws up the entire timeline and, not only that, hesitates to set things right because he can’t stand to lose his mother? Yeah, that’s not a great look. And I get it; he’s grieving and in pain and not thinking rationally, but it’s especially odd that Bruce reassures him that he (as in Bruce) probably would’ve done the same thing…despite the fact that he turned down the chance to see the world and timeline reorganised in his favour in Infinite Crisis. The message seems to be that we have to sympathise with Barry but, while he’s obviously suffered a terrible loss at the hands of one of his worst enemies, it kind of seems like Geoff Johns wrote this twist simply because it’d be too predictable to have Thawne be behind the changes to the timeline. On the plus side, Barry certainly suffers for his selfishness; he’s nearly killed by the lightning bolts he attracts to himself and endures an unimaginable amount of agony from their impact, which is the least he deserves to go through. It’s interesting, though, as Barry feels morally obligated (or, perhaps, guilty enough) to help save this world and even has the gall to lecture Thomas Wayne about condemning the world to die. He even hesitates to undo his actions and is desperate to find a way to save his mother and the world at the same time, but finally being convinced to do, y’know, the right thing and prioritise the greater good and he doesn’t even do that right as it births the New 52 world.
Thomas Wayne’s violent, jaded Batman steals the show and delivers a heart-warming end to the story.
Flashpoint’s nightmare timeline is very different from the mainline DC Universe; it’s full of conflict, loss, and despair. A world constantly on the brink of war, under threat by two warring superpowered nations, and suffering without the world’s greatest superhero. This is a world where the public has lost faith in costumed heroes since they’re reluctant to stand against the forces of Atlantis and Themyscira and many of them have either been killed, maimed, or forced to make unlikely alliances and rely on subterfuge to survive and try to take a stand. However, the allure of Batman’s reputation remains as strong as ever; while Cyborg doesn’t approve of Batman’s violent methods, he knows that the Resistance will only really commit to fighting if Batman is onboard and goes out of his way to try and recruit the Dark Knight in order to spark some small sliver of hope. Thomas Wayne, naturally, steals the show here; his darker costume and demeanour show an alternative version of Batman who’s much older and far more cynical than Bruce Wayne. It’s consistently hinted that Thomas Wayne is in such a dark place that he’s not only completely given up on the world, but he also doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. For him, nothing really matters anymore as not only was his entire world ripped away from him when he watched his son die before his eyes, but everything could be wiped out at a moment’s notice. He is compelled to help Barry, despite his cynicism, not to save his world, but to undo it entirely, fulfilling both of these goals, and really makes an impression with his surly demeanour, willingness to kill, and glowing red eyes. Sadly, despite appearing to die here and this timeline being erased, Thomas Wayne’s Batman would return later down the line and actually oppose his son as yet another dark analogue to the Caped Crusader, but I have to admit that he was one of the few highlights of this Crisis.
As if besmirching Barry’s character wasn’t enough, Flashpoint resulted in the dreadful New 52 era!
Overall, I really don’t care for this story specifically because it spelt the end for the DC Universe as I knew it and the beginning of my least favourite time in DC Comics, the New 52 run. I just didn’t understand the need to even do this and reset things in such an extreme way when Infinite Crisis had already done that not too long before this was published. As a self-contained, throwaway Flash tale that taught Barry a serious lesson about dealing with his grief, it could’ve worked; hell, even as a longer story the stretched over a few of the Flash titles and shook up the status quo for the Flash might have been more enjoyable, but it falls pretty flat as a reality-warping Crisis event because it’s a mere five issues and is lacking the expansive scope of these events. For me, it just doesn’t work since it paints Barry in such a poor light, and it feels completely pointless to dip into any of the tie-in stories since this was obviously never going to last as a timeline. I absolutely feel this could have worked much better if the Reverse-Flash had been the mastermind behind it and had cropped up a bit more in these five issues; this could’ve been a great showcase to show how depraved and twisted he is and could have presented a nightmare timeline where he’s the hero and the Flash is a villain, but he shows up far too late in the story to really make much of an impression and, despite boasting that he’s effectively immortal, is dispatched pretty easily by Batman and his trusty sword. In hindsight, now that the New 52 has finally been undone, Flashpoint isn’t as bad as it was when I first read it and was struggling to cope with all the rubbish decisions made in that era, but it’s still easily skipped over, I think. Just the idea that Barry, who lectures Thomas on how dangerous haphazard time travel can be, would make such a poor, selfish decision without thought to the consequences really doesn’t warm me to his character and, in many ways, makes him as reprehensible as Hal Jordan was back when he was Parallax. These are the actions of a misguided villain, not a sympathetic hero, and all the heart-warming letters from dead fathers and grief over lost mothers in the world can’t save this utter dreck of a story.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
Are you a fan of Flashpoint? If so, what did you like about it? If you read the tie-in stories, which ones were your favourite and what did you think to this alternative timeline? Were you a fan of DC’s decision to reset their continuity again? What did you think to Barry’s decision to save his mother? Did you sympathise with him or did it paint him in a bad light? Were you a fan of Thomas Wayne’s Batman? Which Flash or speedster is your favourite? What’s your favourite Flash story? Which of DC’s infinite parallel worlds is your favourite? Feel free to sign up and share your thoughts on Flashpoint below or drop a comment on my social media.
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