Movie Night [Robin Month]: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies


In April of 1940, about a year after the debut of arguably their most popular character, Bruce Wayne/Batman, DC Comics debuted “the sensational find of [that year]”, Dick Grayson/Robin. Since then, Batman’s pixie-boots-wearing partner has changed outfits and a number of different characters have assumed the mantle as the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin have become an iconic staple of DC Comics. Considering my fondness for the character and those who assumed the mantle over the years, what better way to celebrate this dynamic debut than to dedicate every Thursday of April to celebrating the character?


Released: 27 July 2018
Director: Peter Rida Michail and Aaron Horvath
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget: $10 million
Stars: Scott Menville, Hynden Walch, Khary Payton, Tara Strong, Greg Cipes, Will Arnett, Kristen Bell, and Nicolas Cage

The Plot:
Determined to be a Hollywood star, Dick Grayson/Robin (Menville) will go to any lengths to impress director Jade Wilson (Bell) to notice him and his team! With a few madcap ideas and musical numbers, the Teen Titans try to take the limelight, but when Slade Wilson/Deathstroke the Terminator (Arnett) messes with their plans, the Teen Titans will have to become true superheroes to save the world!

The Background:
About four years after the debut of the Justice League of America (JLA), their teen sidekicks came together to form the Teen Titans, presumably to appeal to younger readers. The team were a relatively consistent presence throughout the 1960s and 1970s but writer Marv Wolfman and George Pérez breathed new life into the concept with characters like Victor Stone/Cyborg and Princess Koriand’r/Starfire, who became synonymous with the team. No strangers to adaptation, the Teen Titans have seen some success in animated ventures; Teen Titans (2003 to 2006) was widely regarded as a popular spin-off of the incredibly well-regarded animated series pioneered by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini. Many long-term fans were therefore put off when the show was retooled into a more kid-friendly aesthetic with the slapstick Teen Titans Go! (2013 to 2022), though many praised the show for its bizarre nature and light-hearted humour. Additionally, the show was popular enough to spawn this feature-length production; universally praised for its metatextual comedy, its gleeful destruction of superhero tropes, and its unhinged comedy, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies also gave finally star Nicolas Cage the chance to portray Clark Kent/Superman after missing out on a live-action appearance in the nineties. With a box office gross of $52.1 million, the film was followed by a reasonably well received straight-to-DVD crossover between the Go! Titans and their more serious predecessors, as well as a couple of other similar features of varying quality.

The Review:
So, like a lot of kids my age, I watched a fair amount of Bruce Timm and Paul Dini’s DC cartoons back in the day; even into my late teenage years, I was enjoying Justice League Unlimited (2004 to 2006), and I really enjoyed the original Teen Titans cartoon. Although never explicitly stated to be a part of the same fictional universe, I always liked to think that Teen Titans was a spin-off from the main DC Animated Universe and I loved how it gave a bit of a gritty edge and a commanding presence to one of my favourite characters, Robin, and allowed him to be in the spotlight in a world where he’s often given the shaft in live-action movies. I’d be lying if seeing Teen Titans Go! for the first time wasn’t a little off-putting for me in this regard; however, it was clearly aimed at a younger audience and I found it to be quite funny the few times I did watch it, the same as Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008 to 2011), which showcased a more light-hearted version of the Dark Knight but in a fun and action-packed way. There is room for both interpretations of these characters, as much as I prefer the darker interpretations as they’re truer to the original spirit of Batman and his world, and it’s not as if there weren’t other animated ventures that showcased this side of the likes of Batman and Robin, so it was still pretty exciting when a feature-length presentation was announced, especially as it aimed to poke fun at Warner Bros.’ tumultuous history with cashing in on their DC Comics franchises.

The happy-go-lucky Titans are distraught to learn the public and their peers see them as bumbling fools.

Things get off to a loud and action-packed start as Jump City is attacked by the megalomaniacal supervillain known as Balloon Man (Greg Davies), a ludicrous character who is quite literally a gigantic, anthropomorphic balloon who can easily smash his way into a bank and squeeze through small gaps by expanding and contracting his bulbous body. Although Jump City’s police are no match for the inflated villain, the Teen Titans soon arrive to help out; what follows is a fight scene, set to an electric guitar remix of the Teen Titans Go! main theme, that helps to establish the characters and abilities of the titular team for those who are unfamiliar. Robin is the leader, jumping head-first into the fight and partially tearing Balloon Man’s hide with his shuriken; Cyborg (Payton) is the enthusiastic muscle, able to transform his body into all kinds of heavy ordinance; Starfire (Walch) is a naïve, childlike misfit from another world who wields incredible cosmic power but is easily distracted by cute things; Rachel Roth/Raven (Strong) is the dark, stoic enchantress capable of manipulating others and creating constructs out of a black magical energy; and Garfield “Gar” Logan/Beast Boy (Cipes) is the team’s goofball shape-shifter, who delights in monkeying around and transforming into a range of green-hued animals (including becoming a porcupine to pierce Balloon Man’s butt for an extended fart gag). So consumed by their own hype are the team that they completely miss that the Justice League – Superman (Cage), Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Halsey), and Jon Stewart/Green Lantern (Lil Yachty) – take out Balloon Man and are saddened to learn that both the public, and the superhero community, see them as a team of goofballs rather than “real” superheroes worthy of their own movies. Despite the fact that people “don’t talk” about Green Lantern’s movie, Superman advises the team that they’ll never be seen as anything other than a joke unless they shape up and start acting like real heroes rather than goofing off for food and dance numbers. Despite the evidence lobbied against them, Robin is adamant that he and his friends are not only world-renowned heroes but worthy of their own movie; it’s been his lifelong dream to have his own movie franchise, after all, and he’s determined to prove that he’s worthy of this accolade.

Robin’s so determined to get his own movie that he briefly messes up with the timeline.

Unfortunately, he and his friends are aghast to learn that they’re not on the list to attend the premiere of Batman’s (Jimmy Kimmel) newest film, and even more insulted when the Challengers of the Unknown, of all people, are more known than they are. Thanks to Raven’s ability to teleport them using her extradimensional portals, the team are able to gate crash the screening and steal the Challengers’ seats, introducing them to beloved superhero movie director Jade Wilson. Robin is dejected to see first-hand that he’s not only not slated to appear in a movie, but that the entire superhero community laughs him off as simply a sidekick and a nobody. After dispelling Robin’s depression with a musical number, the team head to Warner Bros. Studios in Hollywood, determined to demand that they get their own movie from Jade. Unfortunately, she’s not interested in the prospect of a solo Robin movie and states that she would only consider it if there were no other superheroes in the world, a dismissive comment that gives him the outrageous idea to travel through time to prevent the world’s superheroes from ever coming into being using their time cycles (because their regular time machine is too “boring”). Thus, the team prevents Krypton’s destruction (using disco-synth, no less), stealing Wonder Woman’s magical lasso when she’s just a girl, cause Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Eric Bauza) to get caught up in trash and drown as a baby, prevent four turtles from coming into contact with radioactive ooze, and redirect Thomas, Martha, and young Bruce Wayne (Kal-El Cage) from going down Crime Alley. As you might expect, this results in the world being overrun by supervillains in the present day and therefore no superhero movies being produced, so the Teen Titans immediately travel back to undo their efforts…resulting in them being directly responsible for Krypton’s destruction and gleefully pushing Thomas and Martha Wayne to their deaths with a smile and a thumbs-up!

Slade’s master plan to control the world brings him into conflict with the Teen Titans.

Since rewriting the space/time continuum did nothing to improve their standing in the superhero community, the Teen Titans resolve to prove themselves the old-fashioned way. Earlier, the others suggested to Robin that they’re not taken seriously because they lack a cool archnemesis with an ominous name and they attempt to address this by confronting Deathstroke (as ever referred to simply as “Slade”) as he steals “the perfect plot device”, the Ditronium Crystal, from Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (S.T.A.R. Labs). A bombastic villain who mocks the Teen Titans pose and easily tricks them with simple illusions and distractions, Slade is nonetheless fully capable of holding the team off using only his skill, weapons, and vast array of gadgets. Still, by taking themselves seriously, the team is able to retrieve the crystal on their second encounter, but Slade easily escapes by preying on Robin’s ego and painting himself as his archnemesis. Incensed at their interference, Slade vows to divide the team to take away their greatest advantage, something made considerably easier when jade summons the team to Warner Bros. Studios, impressed by their fight, to start shooting their movie. However, when the others embarrass him by repeatedly pooping in a prop toilet, attacking their co-star and subduing Superman with Kryptonite, causing havoc, and almost destroying her Digitally Ordering Online Movies Streaming Directly At You (D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y.) Device (Phil Morris), Robin angrily ditches his friends in order to have his own solo movie and shake the stigma of their idiocy from his character. Heartbroken at his decision, especially after they supported his dream all throughout the movie, the team leave him to indulge his greatest fantasies on the set of his very own movie, finally bringing him the adulation he has craved for so long, though all the digital enhancements and action sequences in the world can’t make up for the loss of his friends.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I gather there are a lot of people who dislike the art and animation style of shows like Teen Titans Go!; many comparisons are made to the likes of Steven Universe (2013 to 2019), though I’m not sure why that’s a bad thing as, while I’ve never watched it, I always thought the show was quite popular. Again, it’s potentially because of the nostalgia and love for Timm and Dini’s traditionally dark and moody visual style, and the anime influences seen in the original Teen Titans, but I thought the change in visual direction was a great way to immediately show that Teen Titans Go! is aimed at a completely different audience to its predecessor, and enjoyed the presentation because it, like some of the line-towing humour, reminded me of The Ren & Stimpy Show (1991 to 1996; 2003). Jump City is a bright maze of skyscrapers and beaches, its inhabitants all sport comically oversized heads and cartoonish proportions, and much of the allure of the movie’s visual style comes from the short, sharp movements characters make that remind me of traditional animation techniques such those using construction paper. The movie’s tongue-in-cheek approach is also evident right from the start, as DC’s heroes are chibi-fied in the opening credits to fit with the show’s more exaggerated art style; the movie even appears to ape the traditional Marvel Studios opening by rapidly flicking through pages of Teen Titans comics, only to subvert expectations and show that it’s simply a seagull flicking through a comic book! In this cartoonish world, the DC superheroes are such huge celebrities that they have their own merchandise and movie franchises, just like in the real world, with even the grim Dark Knight playing up to the paparazzi at the premiere of his new film, Batman Again, and heroes like Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Meredith Salenger) and even Doctor Raymond “Ray” Palmer/The Atom (Patton Oswold) being treated as Hollywood starlets.

The movie is jam packed with references, cameos, and fun musical numbers.

This is taken to the nth level when we see just how many superheroes are being given feature-films and the lengths to which Hollywood is going to milk Batman’s popularity with movies about his loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth, his high-tech vehicle, the Batmobile, and even his utility belt! Although a hilarious gag at the time, and with some basis in truth given how much Batman content had been produced by 2018, this lands even harder now considering Alfred received his own live-action television series and we even got a Cars-like (Various, 2006 to 2022) Batmobile cartoon! Even the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device is a precursor to the stranglehold over the genre that Marvel Studios would get with the onset of Disney+, making the film scarily ahead of its time in its metacommentary. The film also stands out with its fourth-wall-breaking humour; this includes jabs not only at existing DC properties, but also gags like the Teen Titans mistaken Slade for Wade W. Wilson/Deadpool, a parody of the iconic opening of The Lion King (Allers and Minkoff, 1994), references to one of my favourite cartoons, Animaniacs (1993 to 1998; 2020 to present), Superman (Donner, 1978) and the Tim Burton Batman movies (1989; 1992), and the Back to the Future trilogy (Zemeckis, 1985 to 1990), a gratuitous and self-referential cameo by Stan Lee himself, a fantastic jab at the whole “Martha!” debacle during the filming of Batman vs. Superman: Part II by having the two come to blows because their fathers have different names, and having Robin’s team mates embarrass him when they kick the crap out of Shia LaBeouf (James Arnold Taylor). Musical numbers also play a huge role here; we get our first taste of this when Balloon Man insults and shocks the group by claiming not to know who they are (he thinks they’re “lesser members” of the Justice League of the Guardians of the Galaxy), leading to them performing a rap number running down their names, powers, and a bit of their background (“GO!”). Unfortunately, they get so wrapped up in their singing and dancing that they’re completely upstaged by the Justice League. Struggling with his sense of self-worth and disheartened at being mocked by everyone, even the team’s adorable hand-crafted movie fails to cheer Robin up; it takes an amusingly generic “upbeat, inspirational song” to reignite Robin’s spark and renew his enthusiasm (“Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life”). Additionally, Robin’s able to describe his perfect solo superhero through song, resulting in a montage and homages to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Miller, et al, 1986),  Batman: The Animated Series (1992 to 1995) specifically designed to emphasise Robin’s competency, cute butt, and totally adult hands (“My Superhero Movie”). When the Teen Titans travel through time to take out their competition, the sequence is brilliantly set to A-ha’s “Take On Me” and Huey Lewis and the News’s “Back in Time”, they play Krypton’s crystals like a DJ deck to prevent the decidedly Donner-esque planet from exploding, and Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy get themselves kicked out of their own movie by pulling pranks all over the Warner Bros. Studio (“Shenanigans”).

In the end, the Titans come together to defeat Slade and earn the respect of their superhero peers.

Robin is so caught up in finally getting his time in the spotlight, away from the shadow of the Batman and the goofiness of his teammates, that he doesn’t even question Jade’s motivations or inputting the code to the vault as part of his movie’s finale. All too late, he realises that he’s been tricked into opening the actual vault and that Jade has been Slade in disguise all along in a surprising, and amusing, twist. Thanks to his manipulations as Jade, Slade has effectively subdued the Justice League by distracting them with their movies, leaving him free to steal the Ditronium Crystal, insert it into the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device, and control the minds of the world’s populace as part of a diabolical scheme for world domination. Thanks to his baby hands and Bat-gadgets, Robin is able to escape the exploding Titans Tower; seeing his home and his friends’ possessions go up in smoke makes him realise how selfish and foolish he’s been but his friends enthusiastically return to his side to aid him in stopping the broadcast of Robin: The Movie to prevent Slade’s plans from coming to fruition. After unmasking Slade before their superhero peers, the Teen Titans are forced to battle the Justice League when Slade uses the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device to turn them into his mindless slaves; thanks to a golf cart and Raven’s portal abilities, they’re able to take the Justice League out of the equation but, when Robin engages Slade in a one-on-one fight, Robin’s unable to resist watching footage of his film and is compelled to attack his friends. Robin’s brought to his senses when forced to watch the remainder of the homemade film the Titans made for him, reuniting the team in friendship just in time to battle Slade’s ridiculously oversized robot! Although Slade mocks them and boasts at his invincibility, Robin realises that their greatest asset is their goofball antics and they’re able to take out Slade’s robot using another of their dope songs (“GO! (Battle Remix)”) and an overwhelming combination of their unique powers and abilities. With the world freed from Slade’s control, the Ditronium Crystal destroyed, and Slade defeated, the Teen Titans finally earn the approval and respect of their peers, though Robin’s denied the chance to deliver a meaningful speech as everyone else insists that the movie’s over.

The Summary:
Teen Titans Go! To the Movies is a ridiculously over the top, slapstick romp in this exaggerated and cartoonish spin-off of the darker DC Animated Universe. Everything from the visuals, the gags, and the action is designed to appeal to younger audiences, ones who will delight at the instances of toilet humour and the fun music numbers, yet there’s a fair amount here for older audiences to enjoy as well. From cameos, references to other movies and DC properties, and some surprisingly dark inclusions that might go over the heads of little kids but had my spitting out my drink at times. The overriding narrative of the Teen Titans trying to earn respect for being superheroes is done pretty well, and wisely focuses on Robin’s obsession with being seen as more than a sidekick and worthy of his own movie, though the film doesn’t dwell too much on the wedge this causes between him and his friends. Similarly, the time travel side plot was primarily there as a gag, a funny one to be sure but one immediately undone to focus on the campaign against Slade. I would’ve liked to see the Teen Titans realise their worth in a world without the other superheroes, but it was fun seeing Slade mock them and wipe the floor with them and be revealed to have been disguised as Jade all along. While there isn’t much here for the other Teen Titans to do beyond be goofy, say their catchphrases, and sing and fight alongside Robin, the metacommentary on the influx of superhero movies was amusing and I found myself thoroughgoingly entertained through the film. I always enjoy it when animated movies sprinkle their narratives with little Easter Eggs for adults to enjoy and Teen Titans Go! To the Movies certainly succeeds in this regard, and with including some genuinely funny gags that keep the energy high, resulting in a very enjoyable animated romp.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Teen Titans Go! To the Movies? Were you a fan of the cartoon or did the move towards slapstick put you off? Which member of the team was your favourite and what did you think to Robin’s desire to be taken seriously as a superhero? Did you enjoy the musical numbers and the sprinklings of dark humour laced throughout? What s your favourite incarnation of the Teen Titans? Who is your favourite Robin and how are you celebrating the Boy Wonder’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on this film, Teen Titans, and Robin, leave a comment either below or on my social media.

Mini Game Corner: Aliens: Fireteam Elite (Xbox Series X)

Released: 24 August 2021
Developer: Cold Iron Studios
Also Available For: PC, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S

A Brief Background:
Over the years, the Alien franchise (Various, 1979 to present) has had a long and complex history with videogame adaptations that range from primitive pixelated messes to real-time strategies, crossover titles, survival/horror experiences, and first-person shooters. This latter genre has been one of the most revisited, especially after James Cameron was tasked with following up on Ridley Scott’s financially successful and highly influential Alien (ibid, 1976) with an incredibly profitable and well-regarded 1986 sequel that proved to be perfectly transferrable into the FPS genre. Although Alien: Isolation (Creative Assembly, 2014) proved to be a hit with gamers and critics alike, SEGA were disappointed by the sales and eventually lost the license after Disney acquired 20th Century Fox and the development of a new Alien game fell into the laps of Cold Iron Studios. Built from the ground up and specifically designed to focus on co-operative, online play, the developers drew from the vast array of Alien lore to craft the story and aesthetic of Aliens: Fireteam Elite. However, the game has been met by mixed to average reviews; while the action-heavy focus and chaotic shooting was praised, the lack of mission variety and AI was criticised. Still, Aliens: Fireteam Elite was the best-selling retail game in the UK in its week of release and it was soon followed by a bunch of downloadable content (DLC) that included new missions, weapons, and enemies from Alien: Covenant (Scott, 2017).

First Impressions:
Aliens: Fireteam Elite is a third-person, squad-based shooter in which you can customise and equip an avatar from one of seven character classes (Gunner (my choice), Demolisher, Technician, Doc, Phalanx, Lancer, and Recon) and then take on four story-based campaigns alongside two other online players or two A.I.-controlled ‘bots if you don’t feel like playing online. Sadly, and strangely, couch co-op is not an option and you cannot pause the game if you need to take a piss or stop for a second; compounding matters is the fact that, if you stand idle for too long, enemies seem to spawn in to push you onwards, all of which can make for some tense gameplay that borders on frustration. If you’ve ever played a third-person shooter before than the game’s default controls won’t be anything new to you: you fire your current weapon with the Right Trigger, aim down your sights with the Left Trigger, reload and interact with consoles and such with X, snap to cover with A, perform a dodge roll with B, press in the right stick for a melee attack, swap to you side arm or secondary weapon with Y. You can also use the directional pad to heal yourself if you have a first aid kit on hand, access your consumables menu, and communicate with or revive downed teammates. Each weapon and character class comes with a “Kit” and “Role” ability, which you can activate with the Left or Right Bumper, respectively; as you play and unlock “Perks” and other modifiers, you’ll be able to temporarily improve your damage output, accuracy, increase your rate of fire, swap weapons out for more powerful variants (like incendiary shots), drop turrets, unleash a missile barrage, and so forth.

Customise and equip your avatar and then get cracking on the latest bug hunt.

At the start of the game, you’re tasked with customising your avatar; these options are initially quite limited, though you can choose our gender, and you’ll unlock additional headgear and paint and such for your avatar and their weapons. You can only carry two weapons at a time, alongside your side arm, but these are instantly recognisable from the source material; you’ve got the Smart Gun, and the Pulse Rifle, and a familiar looking shotgun, amongst other similarly styled weapons. As you play, you’ll gain access to additional weapons, each with a bevvy of different perks and abilities, and acquire or purchase decals and add-ons for each’ these will increase your ammo capacity, damage output, and so forth but are few and far between without some serious grinding. Each mission can be played on one of three difficulties (with the two hardest modes being initially locked) and you’ll earn more experience points (XP), rewards, and credits for playing on higher difficulties. The sheer number of menus and onscreen text can be extremely daunting; navigating the menus is also a chore since you must use the aiming reticule like it’s a Nintendo Wii game, which can be disorientating. You can earn, buy, and equip special “Challenge Cards” before each mission to give additional perks and buffs (such as increasing XP gain and access to special weapons or turrets) and the game will offer daily “Tactical Opportunities” to award you additional bonuses for completing certain timed criteria. Gameplay wise, your generally tasked with patching into computer consoles, cutting through doors, downloading data, acquiring cranks and intel files, and rescuing or protecting key personnel all while fending off seemingly endless waves of Xenomorphs. You have the classic Aliens motion tracker on hand to alert you to the presence of enemies, who scramble out of vents and often just blink into existence right in your path. Some will also pounce on you, forcing you to complete a quick-time event (QTE) if no one’s on hand to save your ass.

Hold off against endless Xenomorph attacks or complete simple puzzles to progress.

It’s pretty easy to burn through your ammo, and to see your health whittled down to nothing from surprise attacks; Xenomorphs come in a number of varieties, from exploding aliens to acid spitters, to the larger drones who act as bosses and mini bosses. If that wasn’t bad enough, you’ll also have to contend with synthetic enemies who use cover tactics and weaponry similar to yours, forcing you to find ways to shoot around their armoured variants and take cover from their grenades, though the androids and the aliens will attack each other, which can be useful. Graphically and aesthetically, Aliens: Fireteam Elite very much evokes the atmosphere and presentation of Aliens; everything from the Marine’s hokey dialogue, the dark and dingey interiors and corridors, and the presence of recognisable weapons and technology are all pulled straight out of James Cameron’s movie but the game doesn’t stop there. You’ll eventually take a trip down to LV-895, a barren alien world where large, stone-like spaceships and environments are being plundered by Weyland-Yutani; these sections recall the Engineer architecture of Ridley Scott’s Alien films, as is a staple for most Alien videogames, and the game generally looks and sounds pretty good. That is, of course, if you ignore the cutscenes, dialogue, and character models; these are noticeably poor quality and remind me more of an Xbox 360-era videogame, but actually worse as there’s no lip synching and the amount of pop up, A.I.. tomfoolery, and graphical glitches (even when playing offline) make gameplay an awkward and unstable experience. The game tries to offer dialogue trees at certain points as characters drone on and on in a desperate attempt to give some context, but you can skip all of this as it basically means nothing; if you have an objective beyond shooting everything in sight, the game usually tells you, but it’s not always clear where you have to actually go to activate certain consoles so you can end up stuck in a never-ending shootout if you’re not paying attention.

My Progression:
To begin with, I started on the “Standard” difficulty and played online as it seemed as though there was no other option available to me. after struggling a bit with the controls and navigating the many dark, dishevelled corridors and areas, all of which look the same so it’s easy to get turned around, I managed to limp my way through the first couple of missions and even pull my weight in fending off Xenomorph attacks thanks to clever deployment of turrets and making use to the ammo refill stations. Scattered around the environment, you’ll also find other temporary power-ups that turn your shots into incendiary or electroshock rounds, all of which is great to thinning out the alien hordes, and you’ll occasionally find special hidden crates containing new weapons and gear. Eventually, though, the difficulty really starts to ramp up; larger and far more aggressive Xenomorphs soon become the norm, with jumping red variants and massive drones charging across the environment and sporting  hefty life bar. In these situations, you’re often trapped in a room or forced to activate a take-off sequence using various consoles while swarms of aliens spew in from all over and it can be pretty difficult fending them all off, especially when the game sometimes decides not to open doors for you to progress once all enemies are clear, thus forcing you to abandon the mission.

Numerous firefights, repetitive objectives, and graphical glitches make for a lacklustre experience.

After worrying about letting down my clearly superior human partners, I switched to private matchmaking and played with a couple of ‘bots. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to change their character classes; they simply mirror your current loadout, which is a bit annoying as it probably would’ve been helpful to have a Demolisher and Doc on hand). After tearing my hair out trying to overcome the endless gaggle of Aliens and drones set on keeping me from taking off, I lowered the difficulty to “Casual” and managed to clear the first campaign, ending up on LV-895 and hissing with frustration at the inclusion of more tactically capable android enemies. Thankfully, you can fight through the Engineer ruins and make it to a bridge where, after a short countdown, you’ll get some much-needed air support. This won’t help you as you press deeper into the temple, though, where the “Working Joes” come to “life” and attack en masse, flamethrower-wielding Synth Incinerators dog you at every turn, and you’re forced to not just download data from androids but also to recover a number of Synth Cores from destroyed androids. Annoyingly, you can only carry one of these at a time, forcing you to run back and forth in a near constant firefight, and this is about where my patience with the game ran out. Presumably, you stand a better chance at success if you take the time to grind up your levels, acquire/buy and equip better Perks, gear, and weapons, and play alongside human players who can offer more immediate assistance but the game seems to be tailormade for repetition. A lack of in-mission checkpoints means you only every get one shot to clear each mission, making it incredibly frustrating when you fail to crawl your way to a teammate for revival, and the sheer number of janky, overly aggressive enemies can make what is occasionally a fun-filled, if near mindless, shooter an unfair chore to sit through.

I clearly wasn’t paying attention to the marketing for Aliens: Fireteam Elite; either that or I saw that it was a team-based, online shooter and simply assumed that it would have a solo campaign as well. Thus, I was very disappointed when I loaded it up and found that it was geared towards online play only, and it took me some time to find an offline option so I wouldn’t be lumbered with strangers to look foolish alongside. Similarly, I was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer number of menus, text, options, and blinking notifications; it seems like every single little thing you can do or use has a little text box assigned to it and I found this very unintuitive and daunting. I just wanted to gear up and get into the action, but it felt as though I was forced to stop and consider every single thing, only to find I wasn’t at the right level to even use or get half the stuff on offer. Once you actually get into the game, the action is fast and frantic; you’re generally not asked to do much more than press, hold, or tap X to activate consoles and complete objectives, meaning the bulk of the game’s focus is on the firefights. Explosive barrels and the different character classes can make these fun and offer some variety, but you’re constantly forced to hold out against swarms of aliens, which gets a bit old quite fast and it seems like you’re never given a chance to catch your breath as there’s always another drone waiting to slash at you to get you moving. This frustration, alongside the sheer number of graphical glitches and janky A.I., to say nothing of the repetitive nature of the game, all add up to a budget title more akin to a pay-to-win mobile title and a Triple-A release, but maybe you had a different experience? Maybe you played online with friends using a variety of loadouts and had more fun? Maybe you didn’t and you prefer a different Alien game? Whatever the case, I’d love to hear about it so leave your thoughts below or on my social media.

Movie Night [Crossover Crisis]: AVP: Alien vs. Predator: Extreme Edition


In April 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1986) released and saw the temporary destruction of the “Multiverse”. To celebrate this momentous event, I’m discussing multiversal crossovers all throughout April in an event I dubbed “Crossover Crisis”.


Released: 7 March 2005
Originally Released: 12 August 2004
Director: Paul W. S. Anderson
Distributor:
20th Century Fox
Budget: $60 to 70 million
Stars:
Sanaa Lathan, Raoul Bova, Colin Salmon, Ewen Bremner, Ian Whyte, Tom Woodruff Jr., and Lance Henriksen

The Plot:
When sickly, wealthy industrialist Charles Weyland (Henriksen) discovers a pyramid buried in Antarctica, he coerces experienced guide Alexa “Lex” Woods (Lathan) to lead a team of scientists, mercenaries, and archaeologists to investigate. However, they soon find themselves caught in a war as three Predators (Whyte) seek to prove their worth against the ferocious Xenomorphs (Woodruff Jr.), whom they breed within the ancient structure.

The Background:
The concept of Aliens vs. Predator originated in the pages of Dark Horse Comics; founded in 1980 by Mike Richardson, Dark Horse Comics stood out from its competition by by primarily publishing creator-owned titles and achieved mainstream success with its licensed adaptations of horror and science-fiction films, such as the original meeting of these two icons in a three-issue short story, courtesy of writer Chris Warner, which was then followed by multiple follow-ups, action figures, and videogames. Although it appears that plans for a live-action adaptation can be traced back to the late-nineties, these were paused to focus on Alien Resurrection (Jeunet, 1997) and, despite director James Cameron and actor Sigourney Weaver openly criticising the idea of diluting both creatures with a crossover, with director Paul W. S. Anderson spearheading the production after pursuing the project for eight years and winning over the studio with his pitch. While the comic books were set in the future like the Alien films (Various, 1977 to present), AVP was set in the then-modern day, but Anderson strived to maintain continuity by setting the film in the wilderness of Antarctica. Anderson’s focus on continuity and paying homage to the existing franchise compelled him to bring star Lance Henriksen back to play an ancestor of the Bishop seen in previous films, though star Arnold Schwarzenegger was unable to make an appearance. Amalgamated Dynamics Incorporated (ADI), who had worked on the last two Alien films, created AVP’s special effects, which focused on practical suits as often as possible, which led to ADI re-using many of the suits and animatronics from the previous movies. Although Alien vs. Predator eventually grossed over $177 million at the box office, it was met with overwhelmingly negative reviews; while some found it to be an enjoyably dumb action/horror flick, others saw it as a boring film filled with one-dimensional characters and lacking in either franchise’s trademark gore. The box office was clearly enough to convince the studio to push forward with a sequel, however, and, prior to that film’s release, this “Extreme Edition” of AVP was released on home video and contained a few extended scenes for home audiences.

The Review:
In all honesty, AVP was off to a bad start in my book right away with its rating; while it’s possible to have violent, gory, and sweary 15-rated films, scary monsters and subject matter need to be factored into the equation, meaning AVP lacks not only the iconic soundtracks from its forefathers but also completely wastes its one f-bomb and denies us the signature “Ugly motherfucker” line. This method of playing things way too safe extends to the film’s setting, which, unlike the comic books and videogames, takes place on then-present-day Earth, a decision that works for the Predator narrative but somewhat conflicted with the Alien timeline as we know it back then. It tries to get around this by having the bulk of the plot take place in secluded Antarctica, but it just doesn’t work for me. I feel like the simplest solution would’ve been to set it in the future, perhaps between the second and third Alien film, and have it take place on a remote ice world; you replace Weyland’s mercenaries with renegade Colonial Marines, splice in a bit more of the malevolent designs of his corporation, and maybe throw in an android (Maxwell Stafford (Salmon) would be my pick) and you’d already be on a better path than shoehorning Xenomorphs onto Earth long before their existence was discovered. Instead, we get the briefest tease of a space-based film before a Weyland satellite picks up an unexplained heat flare at a whaling station way down South and then we’re meeting Weyland’s recruits for an expedition to investigate. Just when you feel you can accept the setting presented, AVP immediately throws a few idiotic decisions at you within the first five minutes; Lex is supposed to be this experienced Arctic explorer and yet she’s climbing up a mountain without any face coverings and she somehow failed to hear Stafford’s helicopter land above her. Later, she even rushes out in the dark, bitterly cold temperatures of the whaling station in little more than a body suit, surely inviting hypothermia despite the scattered fires, but these are the least of AVP’s problems.

Lex and Sebastian are stuck between an age-old conflict between two alien races.

Lex is the best at what she does; she’s climbed everything and is highly recommended, so naturally Weyland seeks her out the lead his expedition. A hardened veteran of numerous climbs, Lex believes in being prepared; she’s far from intimidated or impressed by Weyland’s wealth or Stafford’s guns and balks at the idea of heading to the site without proper training or preparation. In fact, she chooses to abandon the expedition entirely when the two ignore her warnings and is only convinced to stay when archaeologist Professor Sebastian De Rosa (Bova) and chemical engineer Doctor Graeme Miller (Bremner) point out that they spend a better chance of surviving with her there and without her and, once they reach the site, she’s quick to enforce her rules to ensure their survival no mater how much it irks Stafford. There’s a subtle romantic tension between Lex and Sebastian, but thankfully it’s not dwelled upon all that much; a down on his luck digger who’s just about ran out of money for his excavations, he jumps at the chance to be a part of Weyland’s team and his expertise is invaluable first in recognising that the pyramid contains elements of Cambodian, Egyptian, and Aztec structures and, later, in translating the hieroglyphics contained within, though his warnings go unheeded by Weyland’s gung-ho mercenaries. Against his better judgement, Sebastian is left with no choice but to go along with Lex’s plan to side (or, at least, appease) the Predators since their true targets are the Xenomorphs infesting the pyramid; her entire character is built around survival, by any means necessary, while he’s more inclined towards braving the odds to find a way out. While I never for a second believed they had any chemistry, it was still a sad moment when Lex was forced to mercy kill him rather than let him suffer the agony of a Chestburster, but I can’t help but feel like this would’ve landed better if there’d been less disposable mercenaries and more time spent on developing their characters and interactions (and a better script…and a couple of better actors to boot…) Miller is primarily part of the group to be the somewhat awkward, likeable everyman who we will feel sorry for when he inevitably falls victim to the extraterrestrial menaces within the pyramid; you know he’s destined for a bad ending the moment he whips out pictures of his kids and, while he lasts a fair amount of time, this eventually comes to pass when he’s cocooned up for a Facehugger buffet.

Stafford and Weyland just about manage to stand out against a bunch of forgettable characters.

Still, at least he shows a bit of character, however cliché, which is a bit more than can be said about most of Weyland’s team; Adele Rousseau (Agathe de La Boulaye) seems like she’s channelling a bit of Private First Class Jenette Vasquez (Jenette Goldstein) in her snarky, non-nonsense attitude but she never even gets the chance to put up a fight and is the first of the team to be imploded from within by a disappointingly bloodless Chestburster. Mark Verheiden (Tommy Flanagan) cuts an intimidating figure with his facial scar and surly demeanour and for a second it seems like him and Miller are going to be to odd couple pairing of the group but then he’s unceremoniously offed in a scene that apes the fate of Captain Dallas (Tom Skerritt). Thankfully, Colin Salmon is on hand to lend some gravitas and presence to the proceedings; Stafford comes across as an arrogant, conceited mercenary who always believes that he’s right and that his weapons and training are more valuable than expert knowledge, but he’s sadly wasted here. It’s fun seeing his icy demeanour crack as the pyramid constantly shifts and changes around him; I also liked that he ends up giving Weyland some backchat after his obsession costs so many lives and that he met a suitably gruesome end, but I can always do with more Colin Salmon in my films and he was criminally underutilised here. That just leaves Charles Bishop Weyland himself; it’s always a blast seeing Lance Henriksen and he really lends a legitimacy to this farce of a film. Although incredibly wealthy, and powerful and influential enough to do almost anything, Weyland can see the end of his life coming and knows that his legacy will only be remembered as a businessman rather than anything tangible. Having witnessed her father die from his obsession with climbing and exploration, she recognises the condition in the deathly ill Weyland and cautions him about pursuing his fixation when he’s physically incapable of taking the strain; however, just as she earns his respect through her expertise, so too does he manage to convince her that he needs to explore the strange pyramid to feel like his life was actually worth something. His need to show that he’s not out of the fight just yet comes to bite him, however, when he angrily confronts the lead Predator (known as “Scar”) and ends up skewered after forcing the alien hunter to recognise him as a threat, thereby becoming one of only two actors to be killed by a Xenomorph, Predator, and a T-800.

With his comrades easily offed, Scar is left to achieve glory in the great hunt.

More than ever, the Predator is naturally a key character in the film; a novice hunter compared to the Predators we’ve seen before, Scar and his comrades – “Chopper” and “Celtic” (both also played by Whyte) – make landfall hoping to prove their mettle by hunting the ultimate prey. The pyramid is thousands of years old and the film very blatantly shows that the Predators were instrumental in the development of the human race; worshipped as Gods and using ancient humanity as slave workers and sacrificial victims to the Xenomorphs, the Predators are recast as being the inspiration for, at the very least, the Egyptian deities of lore. Scar and his comrades might be much bigger and sport shinier armaments but, without the ritual scar that one earns from a Xenomorph kill, they’re far less experienced than their predecessors. Indeed, these rookies don’t even come equipped with their signature shoulder blasters; these weapons are hidden within the pyramid and act as the trigger to set off the automated process that sees their captive Xenomorph Queen literally thawed out and laying eggs ready for the hunt. Still, that’s not to say that they’re completely useless; they sport all the same weaponry and technology as the “City Hunter” (Kevin Peter Hall), meaning they can bend light to appear invisible, have wrist-mounted blades, an extendable lance, an alternative version of the Smart Disc that appears more like a shuriken, and their razor-sharp net. As ever, they’re also afforded the benefits of their helmets, which allows them to see in a variety of spectrums and stalk their prey, but they’re woefully ineffectual against even a single Xenomorph; only Scar proves capable enough to earn his mark and even then he’s impregnated by a Facehugger with a ridiculous amount of ease and essentially a dead Predator walking for the rest of the film.

Lex and Scar team up against a hoard of Aliens led by their enraged Queen.

With all of her comrades dead, Lex is left no choice but to force a team up with Scar, something he’s understandably disinterested in. not only is there an obvious language barrier between the two, there’s also a cultural one; the Predator clearly sees her (and all humans) as little more than cannon fodder and he’s ready to kill her before she impresses him by killing a Xenomorph. Thus, in easily one of the cheesiest scenes in the film, franchise, and all of cinema, Scar cobbles together a weapon and shield for her and the two literally run off into the pyramid to fight their way out. As is often the case in these types of movies, one of the two monsters are cast as being more recognisably “evil” and, in this case, it’s the Xenomorphs. Vicious, brutal, and animalistic in nature, the Xenomorphs are little more than a swarm of near-mindless locusts intent only on killing, feeding, and defending their Queen. Since the Predators are more recognisably humanoid, and obviously have a twisted code of honour of sorts, it makes sense for them to be the more heroic of the two, but Scar is more of an anti-hero and his partnership with Lex is one of convenience more than anything. Also, it can’t be forgotten that the film makes it very explicitly clear that the Predators bred the Xenomorphs using humans and that the film’s entire events happen because they returned to embark on their great hunt, meaning that they’re just as destructive and dangerous as the more voracious Xenomorphs. Although largely interchangeable and disposable, one Xenomorph manages to stay out from the pack after being scarred by the Predator’s net; “Grid” crops up as a recurring threat throughout the film, but is naturally supplanted by the fearsome Alien Queen once she breaks free from her shackles and goes on a rampage for the film’s bombastic finale.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’m not really sure that this “Extreme Edition” really makes the best use of its rare second chance to improve upon the theatrical release; this version of the film adds a very brief opening sequence showing a cloaked Predator chasing down some poor fool at the whaling station in 1904 but that really doesn’t add a whole hell of a lot to the film. We know the whaling station’s been abandoned, it’s said in the script, and the fact that a fuckin’ Predator pyramid is hidden beneath it kind of heavily implies that the creatures slaughtered whoever was there a hundred-plus years ago so it basically adds nothing except the short thrill of hearing that iconic Predator gurgle within the first two minutes. There’s a little bit ore time spent with some of the characters at the start of the film, none of which really amounts to all that much; we already know Sebastian is struggling for financing and that Verheiden is an asshole, though I did like the clarification that Sebastian was planning to decline and return to his dig with Weyland’s money). The main addition beyond the useless opening is some extra gore courtesy of some CGI blood; it’s not enough to salvage the film or bring it on par with its predecessors, but it helps to add a bit of colour to the proceedings and at least pretend to be an Alien/Predator film. The issue is, however, that there are fundamental missteps with the entire film from a script and concept level; AVP betrays its gory roots in favour of trying to capture a wider audience, reducing both franchises to a mindless action/monster film full of one-dimensional and forgettable characters. Try as she might, Lex is no Lieutenant Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) and Sanaa Lathan fails to impress as a tough leading lady. Of course, it doesn’t help that characters are constantly just saying the obvious simply to spell out what’s happening and to have something to say; subtlety was never Paul W.S. Anderson’s strong suit but he abandons it entirely for endless diatribes about the nature of the pyramid and its monstrous inhabitants just in case the kids watching can’t keep track of what’s happening.

When the two monsters actually go at it, it’s a pretty impressive and brutal physical affair.

AVP is a strange contradiction; on the one hand, the film is awash with CGI and green screen, shots, with the Predators’ cloaking effects and shoulder cannon being the most egregious, but, on the other hand, it employs traditional practical effects and composite shots. The result is that, for much of the film, the two creatures are brought to life using men in suits; specifically, the Xenomorphs recall (or are perhaps ripped straight from) Alien Resurrection and the Xenomorph Queen is a bigger and more complex animatronic than the original, though I can’t say that I’m a fan of the woeful redesign of the Predator’s face, which somehow looks even worse than the 1987 original thanks to a misguided attempt to make Scar appear more sympathetic. Other missteps can be found when the Predators slaughter the drilling team on the surface; this scene plays out like a rushed and toothless rendition of its predecessors, made all the more obvious by the bodies being strewn up but not skinned. When the two monsters do finally do battle, however, the film largely delivers; the scuffles we do see are primarily suit-on-suit or suit-on-animatronic action, though some odd creative licenses were made regarding the length of the Xenomorph’s tails and the Predators are disappointingly neutered in these conflicts. Chopper is impaled through the back like a loser and, despite Celtic absolutely dominating Grid during their destructive brawl, he ends up being pounced up and having his brains blasted out. Although Scar dispatches of a Xenomorph with a deft skill and earns his mark, even he’s unable to keep himself from being impregnated, though he is able to use his self-destruct device to destroy the pyramid and contain the Xenomorph outbreak in keeping with the traditions of his people. While I’m unimpressed with the digital coat of paint given to the Predator’s technology, it’s the impotent portrayal of the Xenomorphs that really lets this film down; the incubation time of the Chestbursters has been shortened from days or hours to mere minutes and they pop out with barely a splash of blood, and the only time we really see them splattering gore is when they’re spilling the vivid neon green blood of the Predators.

Although Lex earns the clan’s respect, Scar doesn’t make it and gives birth to an even greater threat…

Eventually, of course, Lex is the only human left standing; armed with the gutted skull of a Xenomorph and a modified spear, she accompanies her newfound partner to the exit of the pyramid, with Scar destroying the entire structure but getting injured following a surprise attack by a Xenomorph. Still, the two manage to escape to the surface, burying all evidence behind them and, in a moment of respect, Scar brands Lex with the sacred mark in recognition of her Xenomorph kill (despite the fact that she got lucky, something I’m pretty sure the Predators would’ve acknowledged). However, the Xenomorph Queen somehow escaped the blast to menace them in the film’s finale; here, the Queen is a combination of a massive animatronic, puppetry, and CGI and the result isn’t actually half bad, making for a pretty impressive last few minutes as Scar and Lex desperately try to fight it off with their weaponry. With Scar having lost his shoulder cannon during the escape, the two have to improvise somewhat; Lex takes cover in a frozen bone yard and the remains of the whaling station, which only riles the Queen up more, but Scar is able to impale her through the head with his lance. Unfortunately for the young hunter, Scar is run through from behind just like Weyland’s android counterpart while helping Lex to tangle the Queen up in a water tower; it’s thus Lex who not only delivers the coup de grâce to the rampaging matriarch, sending her plunging to the frigid depths of the ocean, but who is honoured by the Predator Elder (Whyte). Just like in Predator 2 (Hopkins, 1990), a group of Predators decloak before her and grant her a gift for her bravery before departing with Scar’s body, which I have to give props to as any film that actually acknowledges the under-rated Predator 2 gets a nod from me. While Lex’s fate is unknown (there’s a snowmobile nearby so presumably she uses that to get back to civilisation), Scar is taken back aboard the Predator ship and left on a ceremonial alter in reverence to his accomplishments (such as they are)…only for a disgusting little Alien/Predator hybrid Chestburster to emerge from his chest to set up for the sequel…

The Summary:
As a fan of both franchises, and the concept of Aliens Versus Predator, I was pretty disappointed by AVP: Alien vs. Predator. Everything that made the two franchises great has been stripped away and replaced by a by-the-number monster/action flickthat has none of the nuance of the Alien series or the machismo of the Predator films. It comes to something when the comic books are gorier than the movies and I think AVP really let itself and its honestly impressive practical effects down by toning back the violence and blood and slipping in some unnecessary CGI. Although it massively contradicted the mythology we’d seen in the films up until that point; I enjoyed the flashback to the conflict between the Predators and Aliens; I’ve always liked the idea of the Xenomorphs being the ultimate prey and even the idea that the Predators were frequent visitors to Earth has sone legs, I just find it questionable depicted the Aliens being on Earth in 2004. Still, there are still quite a few elements from the Dark Horse Comics here, most notably the Predator using a strung-up Xenomorph Queen to breed their prey and depositing them across the galaxy. Aesthetically, there’s a few noteworthy elements too; I like that the film’s set in the frozen wilderness as I think it’s important to place the Predators in new environments and the dark, claustrophobic corridors of the ever-shifting pyramid recall the atmospheric, oppressive nature of the first and third Alien film. Scar is a notable highlight of the film, for sure, and I did enjoy his brutal throwdown with the Xenomorph Queen and the inclusion of Lance Henricksen, but the overall toothless nature of the film really stops it from being everything it could’ve been. There’s enough here to like if you’re just looking for a mindless monster romp but, as both franchises are capable of so much more, I can’t help but remain disappointed by the end product, especially as it would’ve been so easy to bring it more in line with the standards set by its predecessors.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to the live-action version of Alien vs. Predator? Were you disappointed by the lack of gore, the modern-day setting, and the toothless execution of its titular monsters? Which of the humans was your favourite and what did you think to Lex and her alliance with Scar? What did you think to the alternations made to the Predator lore and the relationship/conflict between the two species? Which of the Aliens vs. Predator stories or adaptations was your favourite? Would you like to see the two battle again in some form or another? Whatever your thoughts on Alien vs. Predator, drop a comment down below or share your thoughts on my social media.

Movie Night [National Anime Day]: Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie


15 April has been designated National Anime Day to celebrate the stylistic genre, which achieved mainstream success thanks to animators like Osamu Tezuka.


Released: 6 August 1994
Director: Gisaburō Sugii
Distributor:
Toei Company
Budget: $6 million
Stars:
Hank Smith, Ted Richards, Mary Briscoe, Donald Lee, Steve Davis, and Phil Matthews

The Plot:
M. Bison (Matthews), the vicious and powerful head of the notorious Shadowlaw syndicate, is brainwashing street fighters across the world to carry out assassinations and has his sights set on Ryu (Smith), a formidable martial artist who bested one of Bison’s lieutenants. When he’s unable to track Ryu down, Bison targets Ryu’s friend and sparring partner, Ken Masters (Richards), and Ryu finds himself joining forces with Captain Guile (Lee) and Interpol agent Chun-Li (Briscoe) in an effort to track down Bison and stop his mad schemes.

The Background:
In 1987, Capcom brought the very first Street Fighter to arcades across the world; conceived of by Takashi Nishiyama, who sought to expand upon the boss fights of Kung-Fu Master (Irem, 1984) and inspired by The Game of Death (Lee, 1972), Street Fighter stood out from other videogames by utilising unique pressure-sensitive pads for its controls but was generally met with widespread criticism for its graphics and gameplay. Undeterred, Capcom chose to develop a sequel that expanded on the alternative, six-button control setup; Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Capcom, 1991) expanded on everything from its predecessor, from the graphics to the roster of playable characters, and took the world by storm, ushering in an entire sub-genre dedicated to competitive fighting games that only expanded further when the game was bolstered by ports and upgrades. Such was the popularity of Street Fighter II that Capcom began expanding their franchise outside of the videogame industry; Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie was not just the first anime film I ever saw, but also the franchise’s first foray into animation. The slickly animated anime  couldn’t have been more different from the much-maligned live-action adaptation that released in the same year; it became one of the top-grossing films of that year in Japan and is widely regarded as one of the best videogame adaptations ever produced.

The Review:
I have a bit of a confession to make…I’m not actually a massive fan of the Street Fighter franchise. Sure, I researched it and wrote extensively about it for my PhD, but my actual experience with playing the games is quite limited. I grew up playing Street Fighter II on the Amiga, and my version was “cracked” so it had all kinds of helpful cheats to make playing through it a doddle. When I moved on to Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers (ibid, 1993) and Street Fighter II’: Special Champion Edition (ibid, 1993), I didn’t have the benefit of any cheats so my tactic to just blindly flailing away as Blanka or Ken didn’t really amount to a whole hell of a lot. To this day, I struggle with the franchise, which is so dependent on frame cancels and complex button combos, but I do have an affinity for it and that’s mainly down to the glorious slice of cheese that was the live-action adaptation and this slick, beautiful anime that not only introduced me to the concept of anime but remains, for me, the quintessential Street Fighter II adaptation.

After defeating Sagat, Ryu looks for inner peace while Ken struggles to find a real fight.

Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie begins with a brief prologue, which takes place between the opening credits. Framed very much like the iconic opening of Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers and bolstered by some rocking electric guitar chords, we are introduced to main character Ryu at conclusion of his violent battle against Muay Thai champion Sagat. Despite Sagat’s mountainous size and incredible speed, Ryu is able to match him blow for blow and even counter his ki-based attacks with one of his own, a devastating  Shōryūken that splits open Sagat’s chest and leaves him with a humiliating scar throughout the remainder of the movie. Driven to a mindless rage by the disgrace and his inability to put Ryu down, Sagat charges head-first into the blast of Ryu’s Hadōken, which puts Sagat down and earns Ryu worldwide respect as one of the world’s most powerful fighters. However, in the time following this fight, Ryu has become a nomad; travelling the world learning to focus his ki and carrying with him the lessons of his master (George Celik) and memories of sparring with his friend, Ken, Ryu makes a point to help others in need but, despite his fantastic abilities and fighting potential, is haunted by his master’s unanswered riddle: “What do you see beyond your fist?” In their youth, Ryu and Ken were like brothers; they constantly trained together, and Ken’s more playful, carefree nature often clashed with Ryu’s more pragmatic and focused mindset. While Ryu dropped off the face of the earth, Ken is a much more public figure who regularly participates in street fights for cash. Not that he really needs the money, judging by his fancy sports car; instead, Ken fights to try and find an opponent worth his time and effort, and is continuously disappointed to find that nobody can give him a fight quite like his old sparring partner. Despite the affections of the beautiful Eliza (Toni Burke), Ken is just as haunted by this lack of competition as Ryu is by his master’s riddle, and vehemently declines to fight glory hounds like T. Hawk (Richard Cardona) since he sees it as a waste of his time and skills. Since Bison’s unable to locate Ryu, he targets Ken, whose fighting potential is theorised to be equal, and personally arrives to “recruit” him into his organisation. Ken’s desire for a real fight is more than met when Bison comes calling and he’s easily overwhelmed and subjected to Bison’s intense and horrific mind control powers, transforming him into a violent and mindless assassin.

E. Honda adds a bit of levity, but sadly Chun-Li gets sidelined and Guile gets wrecked by M. Bison.

While wandering the world, Ryu is pushed into an underground fight by a raucous crowd, instantly besting his opponent with a headbutt to the nose. This attracts the curiosity of Fei Long (Phil Williams), a champion of the underground fight scene who has since become an arrogant and successful action movie star. Fei Long would much rather get into the ring with Ryu than heed the call of his director (Kevin Seymour) but, while he’s a talented and agile fighter with his own mastery of ki, Fei Long’s ego means he doesn’t know when to quit and results in him being badly beaten and defeated by Ryu. Still, the two find a mutual respect for each other from the fight and Fei Long gives Ryu the rundown on where Sagat headed after his defeated, bringing Shadowlaw to his attention for the first time. Ryu’s travels then take him to Calcutta, where his ki arouses the attention of Dhalsim (Don Carey) and intrigues him so much that he forfeits his fight against E. Honda (Patrick Gilbert). A bombastic and aloof sumo wrestler, E. Honda is the film’s comic relief and he offers both shelter for Ryu out of a sense of brotherhood and amusing commentary on the film’s events. The main plot kicks in right after the opening credits, when government minister Sellers (Peter Brooks) is brutally executed in front of a gaggle of reports and eyewitnesses. The assassin was Cammy White (S. J. Charvin), an MI6 special agent who was brainwashed into becoming a terrorist for Shadowlow, an underground criminal organisation that seeks out street fighters and subjects them to torturous mind control. Heading the investigation into Shadowlaw is Chun-Li, a pragmatic and committed Interpol agent who almost immediately clashes with Guile, who holds a personal vendetta against Shadowlaw’s head honcho, M. Bison, after he killed his best friend. Guile’s abrasive attitude and refusal to cooperate winds Chun-Li up, but they soon reach an understanding after she shares with him that she also has a personal stake in the investigation as Bison killed her father. Unlike the live-action movie, though, neither Chun-Li nor Guile really have that much impact on the plot; despite having the most personal investment in Bison’s schemes, they’re merely supporting characters there to deliver exposition on Shadowlaw, and Chun-Li ends up being hospitalised after a brutal attack. Guile does show up for the finale and gets to engage with Bison, but is pitifully cast aside with very little effort on Bison’s part and left a broken, helpless mess at the bottom of a ravine, leaving the heaving lifting to the real main characters of the franchise Ryu and Ken.

M. Bison is a cruel would-be dictator who bends others to his will with his extraordinary powers.

Bision’s cyborgs constantly monitor the street fighters, giving us a rundown of their fighting potential, strength, reflexes, and other statistics and keeping him a persistent and ominous presence throughout the film despite the fact that he only really appears sporadically. When he’s introduced, Bison is flanked by his three lieutenants (Sagat, Balrog (Joe Michaels), and Vega (Davis)) and cuts quite the intimidating figure; a massive muscle-bound freak garbed in a glorious cape, Bison strides through his hidden facility with purpose and wears both a constant grimace and stoic expression. Tellingly, both Bison and Sagat are completely devoid of pupils, giving them a demonic air; but where Sagat is a mostly silent underling whose only spark of individuality is his lust to settle the score with Ryu, Bison is a malicious individual who demands results and doesn’t tolerate any questions or insubordination. Cold-hearted and cruel, Bison thinks nothing of breaking minds with his “Psycho Power” or discarding his “puppets” once they’ve outlived their usefulness. Bison’s abilities are portrayed as near limitless and incredibly powerful; he exhibits a degree of psychic power, being able to lift and toss people around with his mind and can easily bounce back projectiles and move faster than the eye can track. Essentially superhuman and untouchable, Bison relishes the thought of toying with and punishing his prey, so drops his power down for the finale and yet remains a fearsome opponent even when the odds are stacked against him.

The sadistic Vega lays an unsettlingly and brutal beating on Chun-Li to take her out of action.

Bison’s mercenaries are a strange bunch; despite his big introduction in the anime’s prologue, Sagat is basically a non-factor throughout the film and his vendetta against Ryu has absolutely no impact on the film (he doesn’t even fight Ryu again, or appear in the finale). Similarly, Balrog really doesn’t get much of anything to do except stand around, look good in a tuxedo, and trade blows with E. Honda at the end. Thus, the standout from the group is easily Vega; hiding behind his blank mask and carrying a nasty claw, Vega’s physical threat is matched only by his perverse nature; he and Bison drool over security footage of Chun-Li and Vega takes a sadistic pleasure in targeting her right after she’s finished showering (making for one of the anime’s most memorable moments of full frontal nudity and, of course, a fight sequence where Chun-Li is brutalised while wearing very little). Fast and vicious, with a bloodlust that matches his sick fantasises, Vega mercilessly slices and beats on Chun-Li, licking her blood from her claws and overwhelming her but, of course, his greatest weakness is his narcissism; when Chun-Li attacks his exposed face, he flies into a rage that ultimately proves his undoing, as she’s able to summon the last of her strength to kick him out of a window. Although it’s stated that Sagat chose to work for Bison, presumably to get the power and opportunity to fight Ryu again, Bison subjects his underlings to the full extent of his Psycho Power, in conjunction with a sophisticated machine, to twist and individual’s mind into that of a cold, vicious servant. This easily allows him to prey on Ken’s passion for fighting and relationship with Ryu and fashion him into a replacement for Vega, but he underestimates the depth of the bond between the two friends and unwittingly brings about his own end as a result.

The Nitty-Gritty:
To clarify (and no doubt upset all the anime purists” out there), I am watching (and pretty much always watch) the American dub of Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie. There are, however, some fantastic benefits to this; first and foremost is the inclusion of songs from bands like Korn, Alice in Chains, and Silverchair and, perhaps even more memorably, some fantastically memorable lines from the dubbed script. Sure, Ken’s delivery is a little weird at times and Ryu’s very American for a Japanese guy, and there’s nothing to match or better Raul Julia’s iconic lines from the live-action adaption, there are some brilliant lines here: Ken scoffing at Bison and killing him “buffalo” is hilarious, as is Guile pointlessly and awkwardly flexing his muscles while vowing to avenge Chun-Li. Guile delivers again in the finale, when he promises to “rip [Bison’s] fucking heart out” and Bison wonderfully taunts him with this line soon after; Bison also delivers a brilliant callous “I don’t give a shit; if her jobs finished, she’s finished!” that’s equalled only by E. Honda’s random outburst of “I gotta kill this nut before I kill myself” and he and Balrog hilarious screaming “Oh shiiiiit!” while tumbling off a cliff edge!

The film is very violent and full of some tantalisingly adult content.

Although the lighting in anime is very dark at times, this actually gives it a real mood; the film is surprisingly adult and serious, especially compared to its live-action counterpart, and the fights are slick, fast, brutal, and beautifully animated. Guile is introduced at an airbase that greatly resembles his stage and the characters are all ripped right from the videogame artwork and all wear their game-accurate costumes and even adopt recognisable stances; even better, they all perform their signature moves, and even announce them more often than not, with no other explanation other than the idea of them being skilled fighters with a lot of potential. For a fan of the Street Fighter videogames, this is a dream come true and just goes to show that you don’t need to skirt around the concept of ki or superhuman abilities; you can just showcase them and have that be enough of an explanation because we’ve all played the games and we all expect them to have these abilities. However, it does have to be said that the anime is a little bloated and a little short on character development for a lot of its characters: Guile is little more than a gruff, buff guy with a personal vendetta and a rod up his ass. He develops a camaraderie with Chun-Li, who is revealed to have a far more playful personality than is first evident, simply because the plot demands that they get on the same page and the sidelining of Sagat for the finale is very odd considering how important he is seen to be at the start, but this prologue is mainly about establishing how strong Ryu is rather than placing any significance on the rivalry between him at Sagat.

Although some characters being mere cameos, the finale pitting is a slick and brutal affair.

However, there’s no tournament structure and street fights aren’t really a part of the plot; every character from Super Street Fighter II is included in some way, though many amount to little more than cameos, such as when Guile and Chun-Li ask Dee Jay (John Hammond) to help gather information about Shadowlaw but this is never revisited and serve sonly to alert Bison of Guile and Chun-Li’s presence. Sadly, this also means that characters such as Zangief (William Johnson) and my favourite fighter, Blanka (Tom Carlton), are reduced to bit parts, with these latter two simply showing up for an action-packed brawl in Balrog’s casino that is cut short to get to Chun-LI’s titties. Still, the main focus of the film is the bond between Ryu and Ken; rather than focusing on the politics or a military movement against Shadowlaw, the friendship between these two are their unfinished business is a central part of the anime. We get to see them training together, the brotherly bond between them, and origin of Ryu’s headband (Ken gave it to him after accidentally injuring him), and both have struggled to find an opponent or a purpose as meaningful as what they found in those years training together. This reaches a fantastic culmination in the finale, where Ryu refuses to fight his brainwashed friend despite Ken attacking him with a relentless brutality; Ryu is able to get through to Ken and help him remember their friendship, which breaks Bison’s control over him just in time for them to join forces and destroy Bison. Thanks to Bison lowering his power level, the two are able to double-team him very effectively with their most powerful and iconic signature moves, finally finishing him off with a double Hadōken and the United States/Interpol assault on Shadowlaw effectively ends Bison’s threat once and for all. In the aftermath, Ryu and Ken awkwardly part was and, as Korn’s “Blind” blares up, it’s randomly revealed that Bison actually survived and the anime ends on a massive cliff-hanger as Ryu leaps in to confront the would-be dictator once more.

The Summary:
I still have vague memories of spotting Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie scheduled to run late at night on the Sci-Fi Channel and setting up my VCR to record it. I’m pretty sure that this was my first ever exposure to anime and I was absolutely blown away by his crisp and beautiful the animated was, the memorable soundtrack and lines, and the level of violence, swearing, and nudity on offer. My interest in anime spring-boarded from there, though I’ll admit that I haven’t been exposed a huge variety of movies or shows since I used Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie as the bar of quality for the longest time. While the narrative is pretty bare bones and many of the characters are one-dimensional or inconsequential, Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie remains, for me, the best and most accurate adaptation of the source material ever produced; I’ve seen all of the subsequent cartoons and anime and still consider this to be the most entertaining and faithful of them all. Bison is a fantastically alluring, malevolent villain who exudes menace even when he’s just striding through a hallway or sitting in a chair, to say nothing of him being a fearsome opponent thanks to his Psycho Power. I love that the anime focuses on the relationship between Ryu and Ken and is framed around bringing them together for the first time in years to fight both against, and alongside, each other. While this does unfortunately mean that other characters do get pushed to the side, there’s plenty for series fans to enjoy here thanks to the accurate depiction of the characters’ looks, abilities, and special moves, and that’s not even mentioning Vega’s brutal attack against Chun-Li or the lewd showcase prior to that fight, which I’m sure has a great deal of appeal for horny teenagers. Still, the action and animation quality make Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie an endlessly appealing experience and I always enjoy revisiting it to see the action-packed fight scenes, rock along to the soundtrack, and marvel at the ridiculousness of some of the dubbed lines.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Are you a fan of Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie? Did you like that it focused on Ryu and Ken or were you disappointed to see the other characters pushed aside? How do you think the anime compares to its live-action counterpart and which of the other Street Fighter cartoons and anime is your favourite? Did you enjoy the soundtrack and the fight scenes in the anime and what did you think to the adult content in the film? Which Street Fighter character or videogame is your favourite? How are you celebrating National Anime Day today? Whatever you think about Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie, or anime in general, please do sign up to comment below.

Movie Night: The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Released: 7 April 2023
Director: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $100 million
Stars: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Jack Black, Charlie Day, Seth Rogen, and Keegan-Michael Key

The Plot:
Struggling plumber brothers Mario (Pratt) and Luigi (Day) are sucked into the magical Mushroom Kingdom, where Luigi is captured by the nefarious King of the Koopas, Bowser (Black). To rescue him, Mario must embark on a quest with Princess Peach (Joy), whose people are threatened by Bowser’s perverted designs for her.

The Background:
It didn’t take long for Nintendo’s portly plumber Mario to become a mainstream icon; there was a time when Mario’s popularity eclipsed even Mickey Mouse so it wasn’t all that surprising to see Super Mario Bros, expand into a multimedia franchise. However, while the plumber duo may have seen some success in cartoons and comics, they didn’t exactly take the world by storm when they made the jump to the silver screen. Super Mario Bros. (Morton and Jankel, 1993) wasn’t just a critical and commercial flop, it was derided by both its cast and crew, and Mario creator Shigeru Miyamoto was so disappointed by the film that Nintendo largely shied away from feature-film adaptations. Miyamoto’s position softened decades later when he believed such films had the potential to grow Nintendo’s brands and we got our first hint that a new Super Mario Bros. movie was on the cards following the November 2014 hack of Sony Pictures. After partnering with Illumination, whose animated ventures and proven critically and commercially popular, production on an all-CGI Mario movie was officially announced in November 2017. The production would push Illumination’s techniques to new heights and the filmmakers specifically aimed to make the film both cartoony and somewhat realistic so that the dangers would be taken seriously, when appropriate. Sadly, the film attracted toxic, unnecessary criticism after Chris Pratt landed the Mario role over long-term Mario voice actor Charles Martinet, though Martinet did cameo in the film and the filmmaker’s defended their decision as it tied into their desire to craft an origin story for the titular brothers. Although The Super Mario Bros. Movie has currently grossed over $445.3 million at the box office, the critical reaction has been mixed: some praised the film’s carefree presentation and narrative, the colourful visuals, and some of the performances, but others couldn’t get past their bias against Chris Pratt and criticised the simple plot and influx of fan pandering. Still, as of this writing, all involved have expressed interest in producing sequels and potential spin-offs

The Review:
Unlike the vast majority of audiences, I actually didn’t mind the first Super Mario Bros. movie; sure, it had barely anything to do with the source material but adaptation is all about change and reconfiguring media into new forms. Plus, videogame adaptations weren’t exactly commonplace back then and the medium wasn’t exactly well renowned at the time, so it made sense to try and alter the admittedly bizarre source material into something a little more accessible and mainstream. Finally, I thought it was a perfectly fun action/adventure for kids, and the whole family, with some enjoyable performances and a great visual style, but it can’t be denied that the poor reception to the film pretty much soured Nintendo on ever trying something like that again. Luckily, Mario and their other characters lived on in animated ventures and comic books but Nintendo has such a rich and diverse library of characters that it’s a shame we don’t see more feature films based on their properties; I’m still waiting for a Lord of the Rings (Jackson, 2001 to 2003) or Willow (Howard, 1988) inspired outing for the Legend of Zelda series (Various, 1986 to present) and an epic sci-fi/action film based on the Metroid games (ibid, 1986 to present). So, yes, I was very excited to hear that Nintendo were finally getting back in the cinema industry and teaming up with Illumination for an all-CGI Super Mario Bros. movie. Illumination have done some really fun films in their time and seemed like a perfect fit for the franchise, and going all CGI just makes so much more sense than doing a live-action film or even a hybrid as then there are far less restrictions on what the filmmakers can do and the gap between the source material and the movie screen is suitably shortened as the mediums are much easier to compare.

Mario’s never-say-die attitude drives him to overcome his failings and reunite with his beloved brother.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie once again has the titular brothers be depicted as blue-collar plumbers operating out of Brooklyn, New York. Having recently quit the employ of the Wrecking Crew corporation and sunk their entire life savings in building a recognisable, independent brand for themselves, the Marios are struggling to make it on their own; their colourful extended family disapproves of their decision and Mario struggles with the constant belittlement he faces for daring to dream big. In an effort to establish himself and his brother as legitimate, Mario insists that the two try and save the city from being flooded and the two are subsequently separated when they’re sucked through a mysterious pipe while venturing into the sewers. Mario is deposited into the Mushroom Kingdom, a surreal land of fungus, floating blocks, and populated almost exclusively by diminutive mushroom men like Toad (Key). The excitable Toad offers to bring Mario to the kingdom’s benevolent matriarch, Princess Peach, to help him rescue Luigi, who they theorise has almost certainly been captured by Bowser. Awestruck by the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario insists on accompanying Peach on her mission to recruit the King army from the nearby Jungle Kingdom in a bid to defend her lands from Bowser’s forces. However, while she’s excited to meet another human, Peach also questions Mario’s stature and suitability for such a mission and demands that he complete a hazardous obstacle course and get to grips with the various power-ups that are scattered throughout the land. Though Mario struggles with this, a montage is used to show him improving bit by bit and learning the jumping, fighting, and survival skills he’ll need later in the movie; crucially, though, this montage and much of Mario’s character arc is focused on his never-give-up attitude. Even when he fails time and time again or is being pummelled by a physically superior foe, Mario never quits and keeps getting back up; it’s this attitude as much as his love for his brother that pushes him to overcome the various platforming challenges set before him, take life-threatening risks when racing along Rainbow Road, and even find the courage to challenge Donkey Kong (Rogen) to a battle in order to recruit the Kong’s aid.

Surprisingly, it’s Luigi who needs rescuing and Peach leads Mario in recruiting help from the Kongs.

While Mario lands in the Mushroom Kingdom and embarks on a wacky adventure filled with fun references to the videogames, Luigi is unceremoniously spat out into the dark lands, a nightmarish landscape filled with lava and patrolled by Bowser’s forces. Unlike his bold, daring older brother, Luigi is far more cautious and resorts to running from danger rather than facing it head-on like Mario. In a surprising twist, it’s not Princess Peach who is captured by Bowser and must be rescued; it’s Luigi, who is picked up by a group of Shyguy and summarily trapped in a cage above a lava pit to be sacrificed as tribute to the Koopa King’s would-be bride. Still, despite his terror, Luigi puts up a good effort in resisting Bower’s torture, though he’s left with no choice but to give up his brother’s name when the Koopa King rips at his moustache. It’s interesting that the filmmakers chose to separate the Mario Brothers for the majority of the film; the dynamic between the two is charming and relatable and they absolutely feels like two brothers who love each other and work well together. Luigi does thankfully get some time to shine in the finale, but he doesn’t get to try out any of the power-ups Mario does and is basically a hostage for the entire film. this means that it’s Princess Peach who acts as Mario’s primary partner throughout; sure, Toad is there as well to whip up some goodies and offer his unwavering support, but it’s Peach who teaches Mario about the world and the power-ups and with whom Mario bonds over his relationship with his brother. Princess Peach is depicted as a strong, courageous, and incredible capable matriarch and fighter; she can easily conquer the obstacle course that continuously defeats Mario, makes effective use of her dress and the various power-ups in a fight, and is definitely not a damsel in distress. While I feel like we could’ve seen this and had both Mario and Luigi accompany her on her quest, there focus is still firmly on the brothers’ bond and I definitely think Luigi will have more time to shine in a potential sequel.

Mario is forced to fight Donkey Kong to sway the Kongs to Peach’s cause and net them some sweet wheels.

Mario and Toad join Princess Peach as she travels (on foot, strangely) across the land to the Jungle Kingdom. Confident that she can sway the Kongs to join her cause after Bowser decimates the Penguin Kingdom and steals the fabled “Super Star”, Peach is initially prepared to travel alone but allows Mario and Toad to accompany her after being impressed by their heart. The Jungle Kingdom sports Aztec-inspired ruins, a life-threatening series of racetracks through the treetops, and is ruled over by Cranky Kong (Fred Armisen), a cantankerous old ape who knows that he commands the greatest army in the land and initially has no interest in offering his aid. However, when he suggests that he’ll be swayed if Mario can defeat his son, Donkey Kong, in a fight, Mario doesn’t hesitate to take the challenge despite having no idea of what’s awaiting him in the arena. A natural showboat and possessing both great strength and an ego to match, Donkey Kong delights in pummelling his outclassed foe and, even when eventually trounced by Mario in his cat form, refuses to openly admit defeat or let go of his grudge against the plumber after he and the other Kongs get to work building special karts for the heroes to use to get the Bowser. However, Mario and Donkey Kong manage to build a mutual respect for each other after Mario goes out of his way to save DK’s life and the burly ape returns the favour, resulting in them fighting side by side against Bowser in the finale. Although its only briefly touched upon, there’s a surprising amount of emotional depth to the grandstanding ape; he’s riled up by the suggestion that all he has to offer is his incredible strength and he and Mario bond over their mutual desire to prove to their fathers that they’re not a joke.

The cruel and insecure Bowser wishes to use the Super Star to win over Princess Peach and rule the land.

Naturally, the film’s primary antagonist is the half-dragon, half-turtle Koopa King, Bowser. Bowser and his minions (including Koopas, Goombas, Parakoopas, Bullet Bills, Shyguys, and Piranha Plants) travel across the land on a gigantic slab of molten rock and lava and easily lay claim to the Super Star with a minimum of effort. While Kamek’s (Kevin Michael Richardson) magic and aid is of much assistance to Bowser, the Koopa King cuts an intimidating figure all on his own; alongside possessing incredible strength and surprising speed, he’s able to bring entire kingdoms to his knees with his fire breath and is not above leaving his prisoners to dangle over a lava pit or sacrificing them to prove his love to Princess Peach. Indeed, Bowser’s entire motivation for stealing the Super Star was not to harness its power for himself, but to impress Peach and convince her to marry him so that they could conquer all the lands side by side. Though he’s a cruel and merciless ruler, Bowser is deeply insecure; when he learns that Mario is accompanying the princess, he grows increasingly jealous and enraged and he’s in constant need of pep talks from Kamek and his minions to help him find the courage to propose to Peach. Bowser even takes the time to compose a ballad for his beloved “Peaches” and has no desire to destroy her kingdom unnecessarily, though he threatens to do so and kill all of her people if she doesn’t agree to marry him. Although they don’t actually meet until the film’s finale, Bowser’s hatred for Mario  is palpable since he views him not as a threat to his power, but a rival for Peach’s affections; he revels in the idea of immolating Luigi just to teach Mario a lesson and orders his troops to attack without mercy to intercept the heroes when they race along Rainbow Road. Here, Mario and the others encounter a particularly stubborn Koopa (Scott Menville) who delivers a decisive blow to the heroes by blowing up the Rainbow Road in his blue shell form, which allows all the Kongs to be captured and sees Mario and DK getting briefly swallowed up by a Maw-Maw before rocketing to Bowser’s domain to interrupt the ceremony at the film’s climax.

The Nitty-Gritty:
When I saw the first full trailer for The Super Mario Bros. Movie, I was a little worried that the film might be trying to do too much: in addition to the main plot, we have a fight between Mario and Donkey Kong, a kart race, and all these other elements being thrown at us but, thankfully, the pace, execution, and balance of these sequences is absolutely spot on. Also, the film is absolutely stuffed to the brim with Easter Eggs, references, and little background details to not just the Super Mario franchise, but other Nintendo properties as well: Mario and Luigi frequent a pizzeria themed after Punch-Out!! (Nintendo R&D3, 1987), Mario plays Kid Icarus (Nintendo R&D1/Tose, 1986) after being upset by his father (Charles Martinet), the heroes pass by a herd of Yoshis on their quest, Diddy, Chunky, and Dixie Kong cameo during the fight between DK and Mario (which also includes various references to Donkey Kong (Nintendo R&D1, 1981) and a Jumpman-themed Donkey Kong knock-off is also seen in the Punch-Out Pizzeria), and we even get a flashback showing Baby Mario and Baby Luigi (though, in my opinion, the filmmakers missed a trick by not having Wario be the bully who picks on Baby Luigi). Music and sound effects from the games are also included in the film’s soundtrack to great effect Mario and Luigi star in a hilarious and catchy ad for their plumbing services that sees them adopt comically exaggerated Italian accents, and there are numerous times when the film switches to a side-on perspective to recreate the platforming action of the videogames.

A fun-filled animated jaunt full of visual gags and references to the videogames.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a fun-filled action/adventure movie that’s full of visual gags, cartoonish humour, and a surprising amount of heart. The plot is simplicity at its best, but I fail to see how that’s a negative as the Super Mario games have never (or, at least, very rarely) showcased a deeper plot other than “rescue the princess”. Much of the humour comes from Mario’s struggles to adapt to the Mushroom Kingdom; he’s constantly being bashed about by the high-speed pipes, gets pummelled by Peach’s obstacle course, and is far less adept at holding onto his power-ups compared to the princess. Since he hates mushrooms, Mario is reluctant to devour the Super Mushroom but delights in being tall and super strong from its power; unfortunately, he’s so taken by this form that he falls victim to the shrinking Mini Mushroom in his fight with Donkey Kong, though he is able to make use of the cat and raccoon suits to best DK and keep Bowser’s gigantic Banzai Bill from destroying Peach’s castle. DK and Peach also get time to shine with the power-ups, making use of a Fire Flower and Ice Flower, respectively, when the wedding ceremony descends into all-out chaos. Mario’s fight with DK is a notable highlight; though overpowered and outclassed, Mario keeps getting back up and ultimately emerges victorious, leading to the Kongs building custom karts for him, Peach, and Toad. They, and the Kong army, take a shortcut along Rainbow Road to intercept Bowser and, when the Koopas give chase, we’re treated to a brief adaptation of the Mario Kart series (Various, 1992 to present) as characters toss banana peels and Koopa shells, switch to a glider and anti-gravity mode, and fire rockets at each other in a unexpectedly brutal race to the death. We even get a very brief underwater section where Mario and DK are trapped inside a Maw-Maw that, admittedly, is more there for dramatic effect and an obvious fake-out death, but it works to unite these two rivals for the finale. One last aspect I particularly enjoyed and didn’t see coming was the inclusion of the extended Mario family; since most of them delight in putting Mario down, they primarily act as a catalyst to push Mario into trying and fighting harder to prove that he’s not a joke.

Reunited and empowered by the Super Star, the Mario Brothers defeat Bowser and prove themselves heroes.

Although Mario’s victory over Donkey Kong means the Kongs agree to join Princess Peach’s fight, the ape army is denied the chance to actually fight against Boswer’s forces as they’re left stranded on Rainbow Road or locked up in cages alongside Luigi and Bowser’s other captives. To spare her people, Peach agrees to marry Bowser but this is simply a ruse to get close to him; using an Ice Flower, she’s able to temporarily freeze the Koopa King and free his captives, with Mario swooping in at the last second in his raccoon suit to save Luigi from a gruesome fate. Enraged by the betrayal and defiance, Bowser orders a gigantic Banzai Bill be fired at Peach’s castle; though Mario is able to entice the weapon away, and into a warp pipe, the explosion causes a dimensional vortex that sucks them all into the streets of Brooklyn. There, an incensed Bowser targets Mario relentlessly and briefly sends him running before he’s inspired by his own advertisement and stands alongside his brother and newfound allies to battle Bowser. I was very happy to see Mario and Luigi team up for the finale after spending most of the movie apart; it really reinforced their bond and allowed them to share the spotlight rather than simply having Mario be the one to single-handedly stand against Bowser. Thanks to Princess Peach, the reunited Mario Brothers are able to grab the Super Star, which turns out to actually be a Starman power-up rather than a Power Star; this grants them temporary invincibility and superhuman abilities, allowing them to charge through Bowser’s minions and put a beating on the Koopa King, pummelling him in submission and force-feeding a Mini Mushroom to end his threat. In the aftermath, the city celebrates its heroes, and the Mario Brothers finally earn the respect of their friends and family, however they choose to stay in the Mushroom Kingdom and help rebuild the damage caused by Bowser’s attack.

The Summary:
I had a good feeling about The Super Mario Bros. Movie right from the first announcement; each trailer just got me more excited for it as it really seemed to be a fun-filled, colourful adventure film that did justice to the source material and I still can’t get over the fact that people were more focused on unnecessarily targeting the casting, specifically Chris Pratt, than focusing on how good the film looked. You can count on one hand the number of times that the videogame cast have featured in an adaptation, so I really don’t understand the pushback against Chris Pratt, especially as he was perfectly fine in the role and his dynamic with Charlie Day went a long way to making the Mario Brothers a charismatic and relatable duo. For me, The Super Mario Bros. Movie is probably the best feature-film adaptation of a videogame (and I’m something of an expert in that field); it’s startling faithful to the source material, featuring a bevy of references and Easter Eggs for fans of the games as well as adapting the platforming action of the source material in a fun and visually engaging way. While it’s a shame that the brothers were separated throughout the film, their bond is at the heart of the story and they come together beautifully in the finale, and I loved that Princess Peach was a strong, independent character who could hold her own alongside Mario. Bowser was also a highlight; his comical buffoonery and swooning over Peach didn’t diminish his threat and it was great seeing Mario, Luigi, Toad, peach, and DK unite to stand against him. honestly, you couldn’t really ask for more from a Super Mario Bros. movie; it takes everything that made the games so popular and brings it to life as a thoroughly entertaining animated venture that’s only bolstered by the all-CGI presentation, the ideal format for these characters and their surreal adventures.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Did you enjoy The Super Mario Bros. Movie? How do you feel it compares to the live-action film and Mario’s animated adventures? What did you think to the casting and the performances in the film? Do you agree that going all CGI was the best way to bring the source material to life? What did you think to Princess Peach having a more proactive role and would you like to see Luigi get more of the spotlight in a potential sequel? What Easter Eggs and references did you spot? Which Nintendo franchise would you most like to see get a feature-film adaptation? Whatever you think, leave a comment below or on my social media and be sure to check out my other Super Mario content on my site.

Back Issues [Robin Month]: The Brave and the Bold #54


In April of 1940, about a year after the debut of arguably their most popular character, Bruce Wayne/Batman, DC Comics debuted “the sensational find of [that year]”, Dick Grayson/Robin. Since then, Batman’s pixie-boots-wearing partner has changed outfits and a number of different characters have assumed the mantle as the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin have become an iconic staple of DC Comics. Considering my fondness for the character and those who assumed the mantle over the years, what better way to celebrate this dynamic debut than to dedicate every Thursday of April to celebrating the character?


Story Title: “The Thousand-and-One Dooms of Mr. Twister”
Published: July 1964
Writer: Bob Haney
Artist: Bruno Premiani

The Background:
All Star Comics (1940/1941) brought together the Justice Society of America (JSA) for the first time, birthing the first ever superhero team in comics. While the JSA’s roster expanded and changed over the years, they were rebranded entirely in the late 1950s when editor Julius Schwartz tasked writer Gardner Fox with breathing new life into the team as the Justice League of America (JLA). The JLA brought together eight of DC’s heavy-hitters and their origin issue became one of DC Comic’s best-selling titles; a mere four years later, DC would assemble a new team, one that specifically targeted their younger readers by bringing together the sidekicks of three DC Comics’ most powerful superheroes. Under the leadership of Dick Grayson/Robin, the trio would later be expanded considerable and come to be known as the Teen Titans, with runs by the likes of Marv Wolfman and George Pérez being notably influential, and the team has seen success in both animated and live-action ventures.

The Review:
Our story begins in the town hall of Hatton Corners, where an “unusual” public meeting is taking place; specifically, Mayor Corliss is leading the charge against the disruptive and workshy youth of the day by calling for a curfew to help solve the town’s teenage problem. At the same time, in a dilapidated barn across town, the Mayor’s son, Eddie, is rallying the town’s teenagers, threatening that they’ll go “on strike” if they don’t get their new clubhouse, and both mobs are vehemently against the other. Robin, colourful partner and ward to Bruce Wayne/Batman, is on the side of Hatton Corners’ youths; while the Batman believes that the kids are acting like spoiled brats, Robin believes the kids’ voices need to be heard and accepts their invitation to join the Hatton Corners Teen Club (with Batman’s permission, in an amusing bit of irony). Barry Allen/The Flash is equally disturbed by the teenagers’ unruly attitude but his young partner, Wally West/Kid Flash, believes that adults have forgotten what it’s like to be a teenager and also agrees to join the club (again, with his mentor’s permission). The Hatton Corners Teen Club is so adamant about recruiting teenage heroes to their cause that they’re even able to extend an invitation (via an eel carrying a note in a bottle…) to Gar/Aqualad at the bottom of the ocean! Although Arthur Curry/Aquaman believes that kids shouldn’t dispute with their elders and warns Aqualad that he can’t survive out of the water for longer than an hour, he also allows his youthful companion to attend, and the three arrive at the club astonished not only to see each other there but also to find the barn demolished and deserted.

Mr. Twister kidnaps the rebellious youths of Hatton Corners and delivers a bizarre threat.

The trio go to Mayor Corliss for answers and he shows them a note form Eddie that reveals he and his fellow “cats” decided to “skip” until the adults “get hip” and build them a new clubhouse. While the Mayor and the town’s other adults believe it’s a ruse to get attention, Robin believes the note is phony since it didn’t use a more appropriate word for “music” (like “jive”); realising that the town’s elders won’t be of any help, the Boy Wonder takes charge and tasks Kid Flash with scouting around the area and Aqualand with checking out the surrounding waters for any sign of a clue. Robin stays in town and is thus on hand to help get the townsfolk to safety when a twister suddenly comes barrelling into Hatton Corners; despite his best efforts to resist the wind, Robin is tossed into the tornado and faces certain death courtesy of Bromwell Stikk/Mister Twister. Thankfully, Kid Flash is able to use his incredible speed to brave the winds and bring Robin to safety, but the young speedster is knocked for a loop when he tries to confront Mr. Twister and gets a blast from his odd staff. Mr. Twister takes credit for the missing children and threatens Mayor Corliss that the youths won’t be returned unless he bows to his demands; in the unspecified amount of time that follows, the townsfolk express regret at how quiet and lifeless it is without the kids, much to the trio’s disgust (though we never see the reactions from any parents except for the Mayor, who seems more bothered about Mr. Twister’s return than the loss of his son).

Mr. Twister’s threat to the kids is all-too-real, necessitating the intervention of Kid Flash.

Mayor Corliss sheds some light on what Mr. twister’s beef is; back in colonial days, Bromwell’s ancestor, Jacob, allowed settlers to build Hatton Corners on his land in return for him and his descendants being paid one passenger feather a year or forfeit one of their youths. Since the demand was so ludicrous, the town’s founders never honoured the agreement and, when Bromwell showed up looking claim on the unpaid debt, he was laughed out of the Mayor’s office and vowed revenge. With passenger pigeons having gone extinct in the intervening years, Robin decides to do a little detective work to find the missing kids and discovers records of “unidentified flying objects” heading southwest to…Goat Island…the same night the teenagers vanished. Aqualad arranges them some transport to the island on the back of a manta ray; along the way, he and Kid Flash get into a bit of a dispute over the appeals of the sea and super speed and Kid Flash even questions Robin’s tendency to bark orders considering his lack of superpowers. Still, they arrive at the island and find the missing teens being put to work by Mr. Twister to build a massive stone tower in his honour. Although Eddie tries to fight back by…throwing a rope at their captor…his efforts are easily subdued thanks to Mr. Twister’s staff and he (as in Eddie) and his fellow teens are suddenly longing for the safety and security of their town and its adults. Mr. Twister leaves to run an errand and threatens them with punishment if his tower isn’t completed by the time he gets back; while Robin goes to uncover the source of the villain’s powers, Kid Flash uses his superspeed to build the tower in no time at all, thereby sparing the youths the wrath of their kidnapper.

Despite being touted as invincible, Mr. Twister is defeated with a ridiculous amount of ease.

Back on the mainland, Robin discovers Mr. Twister using “long lost Indian medicine” to empower his staff; when he’s discovered, Robin leaps into action, tossing sand in the villain’s face and landing an uppercut to his jaw. However, his eagerness backfires; as long as Mr. Twister is in possession of his staff, his body automatically repels any force used against it. Mr. Twister uses a tornado to dump Robin back into town with a further threat to destroy the town unless his debt is paid, but the Boy Wonder is clueless how they can meet the villain’s demands or oppose the power of his staff. Jealous of the adulation Kid Flash receives from the town’s kids, Aqualand returns to the ocean to revitalise his strength and discovers that Goat Island is…somehow…held aloft by an extremely narrow piece of earth under the sea. Using his command over marine life, Aqualad has a bunch of whales literally transport the island out of Mr. Twister’s grasp, bamboozling the villain and earning him the admiration of the kids. Although the teenagers are safely returned to town, Mr. Twister makes good on his threat by conjuring a cloud of dust to bury the town; however, Kid Flash is easily able to disperse it with his superspeed. When Mr. Twister tries to flood the town in torrential rain, Aqualad is able to drain the water by commanding a narwhal to bore a hole into the ground but, when the villain rains literal fire upon the town, Kid Flash and Aqualad are incapacitated by bolts from his staff and the town is slowly consumed by fire (…despite the fact it was just half-submerged under water). Robin pulls his friends to safety and hops into a fire engine; he climbs up the fire ladder and is able to disarm the villain with a ridiculous amount of ease simply by tossing his Bat-Rope and because Mr. Twister was apparently unable to get a clean shot…even though he hit Kid Flash mere moments earlier! Anyway, Mr. Twister is depowered and apprehended, the trio put out the fire, the adults agree to build the teenagers their clubhouse, and everyone celebrates their newfound appreciation of each other.

The Summary:
Holy God! I was expecting this to be pretty bad but, somehow, the first team-up of the proto-Teen Titans managed to exceed my wildest dreams. I’ve said many times how much I dislike the dialogue and characterisations of teenagers and women of this era of comics, so it’s no surprise that I wasn’t best impressed by all the lame attempts to be “cool” by shoehorning in language and anti-adult attitudes all over the story. I liked that the story kind of acknowledged this when Robin noticed the note was clearly written by an adult; it’s ironic as this story, and all other teenage characters, was written by adults trying to capture the speech and beliefs of the younger generation and it just comes across as awkward and out of touch. The whole “teenagers against adults” thing is pretty overplayed throughout comics, especially in the pages of Teen Titans and its successors, but it’s paper thin here; we’re never seen what the Hatton Corners teenagers do that’s deserving of a curfew and the kids only rally against the adults because they won’t build them a clubhouse. There’s no discussion about the relationship between Mayor Corliss and Eddie, no reaction from any parents, and the kids immediately start praising the ground the adults walk on when they’re forced into slavery by Mr. Twister.

Although portrayed as a threat, Mr. Twister’s motives are paper thin and he’s easily defeated.

Speaking of whom…what the fuck is this villain? He’s the descendant of some landowner who made a bonkers agreement that was immediately welched on and yet he somehow stumbled upon some poorly defined “Indian” magic to empower his staff and gain control of the elements. I mean, I’ve seen some pretty wacky villains in comics in my time, but Mr. Twister takes the cake! He’s literally willing to kidnap a whole bunch of kids, force them to build him a monument, and destroy the entire town, killing all of its inhabitants, unless he’s given a bunch of feathers! He makes the pompous Mayor Corliss look reasonable by that measurement, but the worst part is that he’s portrayed as a credible threat! And that’s a really weird thing for me to complain about as I’m normally bemoaning the fact that the villains of these team-ups aren’t enough of a threat, but Mr. Twister makes mincemeat of both Kid Flash and Aqualad with his staff’s power and could’ve easily killed Robin when he had him unconscious but chose not to for no bloody reason! And yet, despite his vast power, the heroes have to triumph so the story pulls some of the most ludicrous explanations out of its ass to facilitate that; Goat Island is held aloft by a thin perch of earth? A goddamn narwhal? And the fact that Mr. Twister can “kayo” the two superpowered teens but can’t hit Robin because he’s climbing a ladder?!

Thanks to Kid Flash and Aqualad’s bickering, it’s easy for Robin to stand out and take charge.

The whole story is just a complete mess of a fever dream. The three teenage heroes are brought together in the most contrived way possible and, for all their high and mighty talk of the troubles of the youth moment, only go to Hatton Corners when their mentors give them the go-ahead! The dynamic between the three isn’t very developed, but there’s definitely potential here; the rivalry between Kid Flash and Aqualad doesn’t get a lot of play but it was kind of fun seeing them out-doing each other to impress the girls and bickering about their respective powers. If there’s a standout of this story, it’s Robin; he takes command of the three easily and naturally and they listen to him without question (save for one inconsequential remark from Kid Flash). As the far more logical and level-headed of the three, it’s fitting that Robin discovers where the kids have been taken and the source of Mr. Twisters power, and the remarks about his lack of superpowers mean he was obviously going to be the one to topple the villain…I just wish it had been in a more impressive fashion. In the end, “The Thousand-and-One Dooms of Mr. Twister” is indicative of the storytelling of its era; it might seem unfair to hold that against it, but I’m going to. There are certainly far better Teen Titans origin tales out there and you’re really not missing all that much if you skip this one unless you’re a big fan of outdated slang, outmoded opinions on both age groups, and nonsensical storytelling.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Have you ever read “The Thousand-and-One Dooms of Mr. Twister”? If so, what did you think to it? Do you own a copy of the original comic or do you remember reading it when it was first published? What did you think to the first team-up of Robin, Kid Flash, and Aqualad? Were you also put off by the outdated slang and attitudes or did you enjoy these aspects? What did you think to Mr. Twister, his motivations and powers, and the way he was defeated? What are some of your favourite Teen Titans stories? Whatever your thoughts on the Teen Titans, and Robin, drop a comment down below and check back next Thursday for more Robin content.

Game Corner: Aliens (Arcade)

Released: January 1990
Developer: Konami

The Background:
The Alien franchise (Various, 1979 to present) has a long and complicated history with videogame adaptations; from pixelated garbage to first-person shooters, real-time strategies and crossover titles, to survival/horror experiences, the decade-spanning sci-fi/horror franchise has seemingly done it all, including its fair share of arcade titles. In 1986, director James Cameron took on the unenviable task of following up on Ridley Scott’s financially successful and highly influential Alien (ibid, 1976) and more than met the challenge, producing an incredibly profitable and well-regarded follow-up that served as ample inspiration for both Alien videogames other videogame franchises as well. Naturally, considering how popular the arcade scene was at the time, Aliens made the jump from the silver screen to the familiar trappings of a sidescrolling run-and-gun courtesy of Konami, one of the most prominent developers in the industry at the time. Although it never received a home port, Aliens was an extremely popular arcade title when it released; its visuals and action were highly praised and, decades later, it is still regarded as one of the best games in the franchise.

The Plot:
Vicious, parasitic alien lifeforms have overrun Weyland-Yutani’s colony on the desolate world of LV-426 and only Lieutenant Ellen Ripley and Corporal Dwayne Hicks are left to battle through the hordes of acid-blooded Xenomorphs and confront the ghastly Xenomorph Queen!

Gameplay:
Aliens is a 2D, sidescrolling run-and-gun title in which players take on the iconic roles of either Ripley or Hicks to blast through a number of environments ripped straight from the blockbuster sci-fi/horror classic. The game allows for simultaneously two-player co-op, but players are locked into a specific character: player one is always Ripley, and player two is always Hicks. Additionally, there is absolutely no different between the two characters except for a different sprite and a different name above the life bar; both characters can move in any direction across each stage and fire while standing and walking or while ducking and crouching walking to blast at smaller enemies. There is no jump button to worry about, no health-draining special attack, and no time limit but Aliens will spawn in and swarm over you if you stand still for too long.

Blast your way through Aliens and their many variants to wipe out their infestation of LV-426.

Players are armed with the awesome M56 Smartgun, which has unlimited ammo and allows for continuous fire if you simply hold down the fire button. This default weapon has a high rate of fire and will shred the game’s basic enemies in just a few shots, though you can’t fire in any direction except straight ahead of the direction you’re facing from either a standing or a crouching position. There are instances where you can climb up or down ladders, however, in order to take a higher or lower path and, when playing in co-op, this is highly advised in order to better clear out the enemies in your path. Quite often, you’ll also be forced to crawl into an air vent to progress and have to watch out for blasts of steam, Facehuggers, and some of the game’s new Xenomorph variants.

Crawl through vents, mow Aliens down from the APC, or don the Power Loader to even the odds.

Aliens is the very definition of a coin-muncher; enemies will run at you and explode, taking a chunk off your health bar, and you get a couple of lives per credit. If you run out of credits, you can simply input some more and continue from where you left off, which is great news when you’re emulating the game as you can just plough ahead until you reach the ending. Its not all mindless sidescrolling shooting, however; the game always switches to a vertical shooter for some bosses and there’s a couple of bonus stages where you need to mow down Xenomorphs from the M577 Armoured Personnel Carrier (APC) in a desperate attempt to rack up points and rescue Rebecca “Newt” Jorden. Other tried-and-tested sidescrolling mechanics are here to help mix things up as well, including acid hazards dropping from above, sudden drops to sewers, explosive barrels, and, of course, a moving elevator stage where you need to fend off waves of enemies while travelling further down into the bowels of LV-426.

Graphics and Sound:
If you’ve seen the movie on which Aliens is based, the environments will be immediately familiar to you; you begin the game in the living quarters of the LV-426 colony, and blast your way through the metallic hallways, dingy sewers, and enflamed landing pad shredding any enemies that you come across and grabbing power-ups. The game does a fantastic job of rendering the movie’s locations in a high level of detailed sprite work and locations, and even includes the motion tracker when you’re in the air vents; while the player sprites aren’t incredibly detailed and are lacking in animations, you do get to see them from different perspectives when the game switches to the vents or a vertical perspective, and all of the enemy sprites are quite varied and detailed (though the purple colouring of the Xenomorph drones is a little odd; I suppose it helps them stand out from the environment, though).

Environments and enemies are extremely detailed and perfectly recreate the movie’s aesthetic.

There’s a decent amount of attention to detail placed into the game, despite how short a lot of its stages are; Facehuggers are held in glass capsules in the backgrounds, Xenomorphs crawl over the walls, up from the floor, and drop down across the screen, and you’ll spot a number of colonists left helpless victims to the Facehuggers. Seeing Chestbursters explode out of their chests in a bloody burst and the Alien’s biomechanical gunk corrupt the environment really helps add to the atmosphere and the fidelity to the source material, and the game is punctuated by some limited voice acting (mostly grunts and cries), though the memorable Alien squeal is sadly absent. The game’s story is related through some out on context pixelated recreations of shots from the film, onscreen text, and using some limited sprite animation; the most impressive of these is saved for the finale, where you can force the Xenomorph Queen out of an airlock and be treated to a sprite-based recreation of her being flush out into space. Although James Horner’s iconic score is absent, the game’s action is punctuated by some rocking beats that incorporate a siren effect, and a blaring alarm in the finale stage helps to add to the tension created from the blazing sky and flaming walkways.

Enemies and Bosses:
If you remember Kenner’s awesome toy line from back in the day, you’ll know that the Xenomorphs had some pretty funky variants outside of the movies. The most basic Alien drone will amble over to you, trying to swipe at you and exploding on contact, and you’ll need to crouch down to destroy the Alien eggs before they can spit out Facehuggers or to take out the titchy Chestbusters and spider-like Xenomorphs that scuttle around in the sewers. You’ll also encounter bat- and snake-like Xenomorph variants that flutter or slink about, Xenomorphs that ooze out of the floor or leap up from the foreground, and variants that spit acid at you from a distance. Easily the weirdest Xenomorph is a red, frog-like variant than hops around the screen and grows bigger as you shoot at it, but the most intriguing inclusion are the zombies. It seems in this version of the story that those infected by Chestbursters become gloopy, shambling ghouls that toss grenades, take shots at you, crawl their legless bodies across the floor, and spit out Chestbursters.

Aliens come in all colourful, disgusting shapes and sizes in this action-packed title.

Each stage is finished by a boss battle against a particularly gruesome Xenomorph variant; the first of these is a quadrupedal monstrosity with a snapping mouth at the end of a long, elasticated neck. Joined by a cadre of Facehuggers and spitting projectiles at you when its head has been blasted off, this Alien isn’t too great a threat as you can easily dodge its vicious jaws and even destroy its attacks with your gun fire. While trying to track down Newt, you’ll be attacked by a large Alien that is impenetrable whilst curled into a ball; you’ll have to avoid its rolling attacks until it uncurls and then unload in it to bring it down, but this is merely a sub-boss before you battle an Alien that’s been partially absorbed into the environment. Though it remains completely stationary, it rains Alien eggs into the arena and stretches its limbs out at you while. You must keep moving left to right, blasting and destroying the limbs and hitting the head when it pops up, though beware as you’ll be literally bombard by eggs when it’s near death, which can whittle your health down in no time at all.

After wading through countless Aliens, you’ll go head-to-head with the Queen Bitch herself!

There’s also a particularly gruesome spider-like Xenomorph that you’ll have to contend with twice throughout the game; this brain-like monstrosity scuttles about the place surrounded by orb-like Alien embryos which it uses as a shield and throws out to hit you. After the first encounter, you’ll then battle two Xenomorph bosses at once; these two nasty critters channel the lightning bolts that rain down across the level and fire them at you as bolts of electricity, and when there’s only one left it will surround itself with and shoot out glowing spirals of electricity in a desperate bid to protect itself. After fighting your way through the Alien nest, you’ll encounter the Xenomorph Queen; at first, she’s unable to attack beyond spitting acid at you and summoning her drones to protect her, so you simply need to fend them off and destroy her egg sack a piece at a time. However, when her egg sack is destroyed, she’ll detach and go on a rampage; the final confrontation takes place aboard the Sulaco and sees her clawing, biting, and charging at you and swiping with her spear-like tail. Thankfully, there’s a Power Loader on hand to help smack her about and, after you’ve damaged her enough, you can either pour on the firepower to blow her to pieces or force her into the airlock by rapidly tapping the attack button to activate the Power Loader’s flame torch.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
As you wade through the parasitic alien scum that have overrun LV-426, you’ll occasionally find food that will replenish your health, but these are few and far between and usually placed right before a swarm of Xenomorphs and hazards. You’ll also find crates that will bestow you with another weapon that you’ll keep until you lose a life; these can be either a homing missile launcher, a three-way shot, a rocket launcher that fires three in the direction you’re facing, and a flamethrower that fires in bursts. You can’t just hold down the fire button with any of these additional weapons, sadly, but you can pick up bombs to toss into groups of enemies or a super smart bomb to clear out all onscreen enemies. There are also rare occasions, most notably the final boss, where you can hop into the Power Loader and use its big, pincer-like arms to splatter Aliens into acidic goo, destroy walls, and even the odds against the Xenomorph Queen.

Additional Features:
There’s really not anything else on offer in Aliens except for about thirty minutes of frantic run-and-gun action. You can play with a friend, of course, to mix things up and this probably adds both player characters to the sprite-based cutscenes, and you can compete to get a higher score as well, but there aren’t any alternate paths or anything to that you won’t see on the first playthrough. You’ll notice some differences in the Japanese version of the game; stages now have titles beforehand, the colourings of the Aliens is closer to the movies, enemy placement is a little mixed up, and both Newt and the APC stages are missing.

The Summary:
I’ve played a lot of the Alien videogames, and my fair share of arcade titles, over the years and I have to say that adapting the property into a fun, action-packed, mindless shooter is generally one of the most tried-and-tested tactics for the franchise. If you can’t recreate the horror of the source material due to hardware restrictions or mass appeal, then why not lean into the action-orientated elements that James Cameron introduced so well in the sequel? Often, this is hit and miss, but I’m usually quite pleased with the results as I love a good run-and-gun arcade title and Aliens is certainly a lot of fun to blast through. The attention to detail is admirable, recreating the environments and bloody horror of Aliens to an astounding degree for the time, and I really enjoyed all the new Xenomorph variants peppered throughout the game. The game gets very cluttered with enemies at times, which limits the usefulness of the weapon power-ups, but it’s just the right length with some surprising variety with the vertical shooting and APC sections so it’s well worth setting aside a little bit of time to load this one up and give it a quick run through.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever played the Aliens arcade game? If so, where would you rank it against other Aliens videogames and arcade titles of the time? Which character did you play as and what did you think to the new Xenomorphs featured in the game? Did you enjoy the game’s bosses and what did you think to the final battle with the Xenomorph Queen? Which of the Alien movies or videogames is your favourite and why? Whatever your thoughts on Aliens’ arcade venture, feel free to drop them below or leave a comment on my social media, and be sure to check out for my review of the film that inspired the game.

Back Issues [Crossover Crisis]: Spider-Man and Batman


In April 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1986) released and saw the temporary destruction of the “Multiverse”. To celebrate this momentous event, I’m discussing multiversal crossovers all throughout April in an event I dubbed “Crossover Crisis”.


Story Title: “Disordered Minds”
Published: September 1995
Writer: J.M. DeMatteis
Artist: Mark Bagley

The Background:
You might be surprised to learn, considering they’re in direct competition with each other, that DC Comics and Marvel Comics have had a reasonably collaborative and amicable relationship over the years. Obviously, there’s been lawsuits and underhanded tactics from both, but not only were legendary Stan Lee and disreputable sham Bob Kane close friends but both comic giants borrowed from and inspired each other and they’ve even collaborated on many joint publications in the past. Having already had Clark Kent/Superman and Peter Parker/Spider-Man come to blows in Superman vs. The Amazing Spider-Man: The Battle of the Century (Conway, et al, 1976) and Bruce Wayne/Batman test his mettle against Doctor Bruce Banner/The Hulk in Batman vs. The Incredible Hulk (Wein, et al, 1981), DC and Marvel brought together their two most popular characters for the first time in this 1995 one-shot adventure. As is the case with many of these DC/Marvel crossovers, Spider-Man and Batman can fetch a pretty high price for collectors, and it also wouldn’t be the last time that the web-slinger and the Dark Knight crossed in one form or another.

The Review:
Our story begins with Peter Parker wrestling with the guilt and shame of being partially responsible for the death of his beloved Uncle Ben. In a nightmarish revisitation of the fateful night when Dennis Carradine broke into the Parker home and gunned down Ben, Peter (as Spider-Man) is on hand to strike with a furious vengeance, viewing the gunman as some maniacal monster who simply laughs at his murderous actions so hard that he eventually turns into the Joker! Peter awakens in horror, eased through the aftermath of this oft-recurring nightmare by his beautiful and busty wife, Mary Jane Watson-Parker. As ever in times of emotional crisis, Peter takes to web-slinging to help clear his head and ventures out into the night reaffirming his commitment to using his powers responsibility in order to live up to the examples set by his doting aunt and uncle. Coincidentally enough, that very same night, Bruce Wayne is also reliving the night that his parents died, gunned down in an alley in a senseless act of violence. Similar to Peter, Bruce’s dream sees him (as Batman) leaping into action, hatred for the inhumane monster boiling in his veins, and awakens to find himself, as ever, alone in his vast mansion with only his heartache and faithful butler and father-figure, Alfred Pennyworth. However, while he appreciates Alfred’s concern and loyalty, he heads out into the night as Batman without a word, determined to ensure that none should suffer as he did from random acts of violence. With our characters and their motivations firmly established, the story jumps over to the Ravencroft Institute, where Spider-Man is accompanying Doctor Ashley Kafka for a visit to the imprisoned Cletus Kasady/Carnage, who’s being held in a specially-constructed cell that keeps his violent symbiote at bay presumably using heat. The purpose of this is similar to the opening panels as Kasady simply taunts Dr. Kafka with a summary of his abusive and disturbing childhood, some of which may be true and some of which may just be another aspect of his twisted personality since Kasady is obsessed with murder, mayhem, and (quite fittingly) carnage.

Batman is less than thrilled when Spidey swings in to help after Carnage breaks free.

Carnage surprises both of them by breaking out of his cage, claiming himself to be a “walking impossibility” beyond logic and reason, but luckily Spider-Man and a security force led by Colonel John Jameson are on hand to subdue the serial killer with their fists and microwave guns, respectively, though newcomer Cassandra Briar proposes a far more permanent (if radical) solution to Kasady’s frequent maniacal outbursts. Utilising a “bio-technic cure” for Kasady’s insanity, Briar has a computer chip installed in his cerebral cortex, which promises to render him for more docile and stable, though Dr. Kafka likens it to the equivalent of a modern-day lobotomy and Spidey remains doubtful that it’ll stick since he’s more than familiar with Kasady’s volatile nature. Similarly, over in Gotham City, Batman puts a stop to the Joker’s latest scheme to infect millions of people with a deadly virus transmitted through bats and returns the Harlequin of Hate to Arkham Asylum (though he’s disgusted when the Joker lands a bite on him during their scuffle). There, Briar proudly shows off how meek and timid Kasady has become from her controversial treatment and uses this success as all the justification she needs to implant a similar chip into the Joker’s head, thus becoming a media sensation for rendering two of the country’s most violent and sadistic supervillains “as harmless as a puppy”. Determined to ride these successes to a wider rollout of her “miracle cure” and receive Presidential approval to eradicate psychopaths everywhere, Briar receives the shock of her life when the Carnage symbiote suddenly bursts out of Kasady’s body after shorting out her chip, taking both her and the terrified and submissive Joker hostage. Thankfully, the Batman is on hand (having disguised himself as a guard) to confront the demented killer, but his usual tactic of goading a villain into discarding their hostages in favour of him fails to work since Carnage has no interest in prioritising Batman over anyone else. Luckily, Spider-Man makes a surprise appearance to whisk Briar out of the maniac’s clawed grip and the two masked heroes take the fight to Carnage, despite Batman’s assertion that he doesn’t need the help.

While the villains’ alliance is short-lived, Batman is soon recruiting Spidey’s help in dealing with Carnage.

Regardless, the two briefly knock Carnage off balance, but he’s able to slip away by firing shards of his symbiote at the nearby cops and strangling the others with his bloody tendrils, creating an effective distraction to cover his escape. Naturally, Batman is less than thrilled to see Spider-Man encroaching on his turf, both out of a desire to keep the web-slinger from getting hurt due to his unfamiliarity with the city’s unique dangers and because he doesn’t need or want his help or him getting in the way, though Spidey naturally ignores this warning. In comparison, Carnage admits to an admiration for the Joker’s “homicidal genius [and] shameless depravity” and uses a small fragment of his suit to short out the chip and return the Clown Prince of Crime to what asses for normal. Although initially confused, frustrated, and angered at the Joker’s babbling and insolence, Carnage quickly gleefully rejoices in the Joker’s commitment to the absurd meaningless of anarchy. However, their partnership is short-lived. When the Joker takes Carnage to his secret, fairground-themed hideout to retrieve the remainder of his virus, joyfully expositing his plan to douse hundreds of Joker-themed jack-in-the-boxes with the toxin and distribute them to kids, Carnage is disgusted since it would take too long for the bodies to start piling up and he delights in getting his hands bloody from up-close-and-personal slaughter. The two come to blows over their differing methods and mentalities, with the Joker easily slipping away through a hidden trapdoor and even attempting to kill Carnage by blowing up his lair. In contrast after Batman contemplates Carnage’s unique brand of madness and sadistic nature in the Batcave and Spider-Man sees first-hand how different things are in Gotham when nobody bats an eyelid when a random civilian is screaming bloody murder in the streets, our heroes finally come together when Batman not only picks Spider-Man up in the Batmobile but even apologises for giving him the brush off.

Though pushed to their limits, Batman and Spider-Man are ultimately victorious and part as allies.

Though he has no time for Spider-Man’s quips and jokes, Batman recognises that he has unique insight into Carnage, and the two are able to track him to the wreckage of the Joker’s lair, where they find what appears to be his dead body but is, in fact, a decoy Carnage set up to trick the Joker. Delighted to have the Batman in his coils instead, Carnage plans to publicly execute Batman on top of Gotham Towers and, while comparing Carnage to Death itself, which passed him by back in Crime Alley, Batman orders Spider-Man to stop Carnage despite the threat to his life. However, it’s the Joker who actually intervenes in the tense showdown; claiming ownership over the Batman and determined to drop his virus on the four of them, killing all of them and everyone else in the city simply to spite Carnage, Kasady’s briefest flicker of fear is all the opening Batman needs to break free from his grip and leap into action. Spider-Man easily webs up the threat and, despite it taking the combined might of Spider-Man and Eddie Brock/Venom and many others in the past, the Batman is easily able to pummel Carnage into unconsciousness since, for all his powers and bloodlust, he’s simply another sloppy punk and a “scared little boy”. With Carnage subdued, Spider-Man chases down the Joker with an uncharacteristic rage; easily manhandling the Clown Prince of Crime, Spider-Man is barely able to stop himself from killing the Joker since he’s too great a threat, too dedicated to violence and chaos, to be left alive. While his better nature prevails and he ultimately spares the Joker, Spidey does deliver a knock-out punch to the cackling villain, finally bringing the story’s combined threat to an end. As if seeing Spider-Man pushed to the point of killing wasn’t surprising enough, Spidey is unusually quiet in his final confrontation with the Batman; weary from the night’s events, the two choose not to ruin the moment with words and instead part ways with a hearty handshake having found a common ground and a mutual respect through their conduct and escapades.

The Summary:
“Disordered Minds” is an interesting approach to take for an intercompany crossover. You might think with characters as wildly different as Spider-Man and Batman that the focus would be on their different methods; if Dick Grayson/Nightwing is an athletic chatterbox and the various Robins are brightly-coloured distractions to throw criminals off from Batman’s darker, more measured approach, then Spider-Man should drive the Dark Knight absolutely batty (heh!) with his constant chatter, quips, and annoying tendencies. Instead, there’s actually not much in the way of banter between the two; Spider-Man mouths off a little in the Batmobile, but that’s about it and the rest of their interactions basically boil down to Batman telling Spidey to fuck off and Spider-Man sticking around because of his innate sense of responsibility. This is a bit of a shame as I would’ve liked to see their contrasting personalities and methods more on show beyond “Gotham’s not what you’re used to sod off!” and “Boy, you’re grim” but the story does have to two united in their shared grief. Both carry a tremendous amount of survivor’s guilt, though for different reasons; Bruce was too young to do anything about his parents’ murder whereas Peter chose not to use his powers responsibly, so both are on the same path towards safeguarding others to ease their guilt and pain but have very different outlooks on the world. This comes up multiple times, with Spider-Man raging against the chaos and violence around him and Batman lashing out at “Death” and determined to rally against it however he can.

While the writing is a bit dodgy and there’s some wasted potential, the art work in phenomenal.

The art is where the story really shines; Mark Bagley is one of the top Spider-Man artists and, thanks to his work on the character and his various run-ins with symbiotes before, has more than proven himself capable of delivering a dynamic and visually exciting Spider-Man and menacing and dangerous Carnage. His Batman and Joker fare really well too, naturally, and the art is absolutely stunning all throughout even if the writing fails it somewhat. We spend no less than eleven pages recapping the origins of Spider-Man, Batman, and Carnage, which is probably great for newcomers but somewhat unnecessary for long-term readers when, normally, a simple text box sums it all up nicely. Thankfully, all of this is rendered in an interesting way through the use of nightmares and Carnage’s dramatic escape from custody, but the writing stumbles a bit mid-way through, too, since Cassandra Briar basically disappears after being rescued despite so much time being spent on her computer chip cure. I feel like a simple story about Kasady or the Joker being transferred across the country might’ve been a much simpler and faster way to get things moving since the chip is easily destroyed by Carnage and doesn’t factor into the plot beyond being a contrived way to get him and the Joker to cross paths. There’s also not a huge amount of interaction between Batman and Spider-Man; they don’t physically fight (which is unusual at the best of times but even more so for a crossover like this), join forces pretty quickly after Batman stops being irrationally stubborn, and it doesn’t really take much at all for them to defeat the villainous duo despite Carnage being so powerful that Spider-Man alone usually struggles to defeat him. there’s a promise of a twisted partnership between Carnage and the Joker but it’s almost immediately squandered simply because Carnage gets impatient, which is in keeping with his character but basically means the villains don’t actually do anything besides compliment each other, scuffle a bit, and then get taken out by the heroes. All in all, this was relatively entertaining and interesting first meeting between my two favourite comic book heroes but it didn’t quite deliver on its potential, despite the fantastic art work and some fun moments.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever read Spider-Man and Batman? If so, what did you think to it? Do you own a copy of the original comic or do you remember reading it when it was first published? Were you surprised that there wasn’t more time spent on contrasting the different methods and personalities of the two heroes? What did you think to the brief team-up between the Joker and Carnage the ease that they were defeated? Would you like to see DC and Marvel collaborate again in the future and, if so, what stories would you like to see? Whatever your thoughts on Spider-Man and Batman, and comic book crossovers of this kind, share them below and check out my other Crossover Crisis events!

Mini Game Corner [Robin Month]: Batman Forever: The Arcade Game (PlayStation)


In April of 1940, about a year after the debut of arguably their most popular character, Bruce Wayne/Batman, DC Comics debuted “the sensational find of [that year]”, Dick Grayson/Robin. Since then, Batman’s pixie-boots-wearing partner has changed outfits and a number of different characters have assumed the mantle as the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin have become an iconic staple of DC Comics. Considering my fondness for the character and those who assumed the mantle over the years, what better way to celebrate this dynamic debut than to dedicate every Thursday of April to celebrating the character?


Released: 1996
Developer: Probe Entertainment / Iguana Entertainment / Iguana Entertainment UK
Also Available For: Arcade, MS-DOS, and SEGA Saturn

A Brief Background:
It’s easy to forget now but Batman Forever (Schumacher, 1995) was a pretty big deal for Warner Bros. back in the day; not only had they sunk $100 million into the film but they were desperate to appease those who were outraged with the dark, macabre content of Batman Returns (Burton, 1992) and craft a film that would be more appealing for the sponsors. While it garnered a mixed critical response, Batman Forever made over $330 at the box office and was accompanied by a slew of merchandise and ancillary products. Like its predecessors, Batman Forever also received a tie-in videogame that marked Acclaim’s first foray into the arcade scene. However, the 2.5D beat-‘em-up was met with mostly mixed reviews but still fared better than Acclaim’s other home console adaptation of the movie.

First Impressions:
If there’s three things you can always count on with me, it’s that I’m a big fan of arcade titles, sidescrolling beat-‘em-ups, and Batman. Although I didn’t grow up with a Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES), emulators have allowed me to have a great deal of fun with Batman Returns (Konami, 1993), which was a cracking licensed videogame simply because it aped the formula of genre staples like Final Fight (Capcom, 1989) and X-Men (Konami, 1992). While Batman Forever had an extremely dismal and almost unplayable sidescrolling adventure game released on Mega Drive and SNES, arcades were blessed with this far more enjoyable and fitting videogame, which thankfully came to the PlayStation so I was able to snap it up (and at a pretty good price, too, all things considered). Batman Forever: The Arcade Game can be played on three different difficulty settings (Easy, Normal, or Hard), with enemies increasing in number and toughness on the harder difficulty settings, and allows you to assign yourself up to seven continues. You begin the game with three lives and, once you’ve lost all three, you can enter a high score and switch your character to return to the action once more. In terms of controls, Batman Forever is as simple as it gets: one button punches, one kicks, and one jumps and that’s it. you can customise these in the options menu and choose to play as either Batman or Robin (or both together, if you have a friend), before jumping into the game proper. There doesn’t appear to be any technical differences between the two, but they do have different animations and Robin seems to be a bit faster on his feet, but that could just my psychosomatic on my part. Right away, you’re treated to a pretty impressive in-game cutscene as Batman and/or Robin heads to the streets of Gotham City in the Batmobile, and the first thing you’ll notice is how impressive and ambitious the graphics are. The game utilises pre-rendered, 2.5D backgrounds that, while murky and a bit washed out, are immediately evocative of many of the neon-drenched, bizarre locations seen in the film, such as the graffiti-and-litter-strewn streets, Edward Nygma/The Riddler’s big gala (with partially animated guests in the background), and Harvey Dent/Two-Face’s lair among others. The playing field allows you to wander into the background, with sprites scaling accordingly, though they do lose a fair amount of graphical fidelity, becoming even more pixelated and ugly as you move about.

While the game is cluttered and chaotic, it’s full of action and fun ways to beat up thugs.

Sprites in general look decent enough; they appear to be digitised, similar to the early Mortal Kombat games (Midway/Various, 1992 to 1996), and Batman and Robin have a glistening sheen to them that makes them look like action figures. Batman looks a little goofy, with his massive chest symbol, but Robin looks pretty good; the thugs you encounter, however, are swarms of Two-Face’s goons, robots modelled after the Riddler’s fortune teller machine, and other generic beat-‘em-up mooks, none of whom have a life bar. The sheer number of enemies is pretty impressive and overwhelming, however. It doesn’t take much for you to get pummelled to death as enemies swarm around you and trap you in an unblockable beatdown, and enemies will fire guns, toss grenades, drive motorcycles and cars at you as well as spring out from the scenery. To make matters worse, Two-Face occasionally pops in, riding a wrecking ball or shooting rockets at you from the foreground, though there are times where you can swing and grapple parts of the environment to barge trough enemies. Combat is a pretty simple affair, with you mashing punch and kick to string together combos, tossing and jump-kicking enemies as you’d expect, but the game makes a big deal out swamping you with various power-ups. As you take out enemies, little Bat Symbols scatter everywhere which power-up your “Combo Meter” as well as a variety of gadgets and pick-ups: Bat-Signals, Two-Face Ying-Yangs, and Riddler Symbols appear frequently, bestowing either gadgets or temporary buffs and debuffs. When you grab a gadget, like the Batarang, grapple gun, taser, or Bat Bola, your regular attack is replaced with a projectile; the grapple gun is particularly useful for landing up to 150 hit combos on enemies and sees you swinging and flailing all over the screen, while the Batarangs can quickly rack up points and the taser and bola can stun enemies for a short time. You can also pull off a screen-clearing attack, summon bats to protect and attack enemies, and toss a stun grenade, and all of these attacks will increase in power and change their appearance as your meter builds higher. However, this can make the combat and action extremely chaotic as the screen is constantly filled with enemies, items, and your almost incomprehensible attacks, making for a very frantic and confusing experience.

My Progression:
As you fight your way through the game, you can pick up and throw objects, grab the odd bit of health to sustain yourself, and will be blessed or cursed with power-ups such as invisibility, duplication, invulnerability, and shrinking you (or your enemies), among others. After clearing a stage, your score is tallied up; the more enemies you defeat and the more gadgets and such you use, the better your score and rewards. You can then pick from these rewards to start the next stage with a gadget or power-up advantage; some are merely cosmetic, like “VR Mode”, which sees enemies burst into green computer coding upon defeat, while others increase your combo by default, allowing you to build your meter faster. There are no save points, password, or checkpoints in the game, however; once you exhaust all of your continues, the game is over and you’ll need to start from the beginning, which is always a pretty shitty thing to do in a home conversion of an arcade game since its purpose isn’t to relieve you of your pocket money. All I’m saying is at least have the option to earn more lives or continues, or limit your continues on the harder difficulties and have them disabled entirely on Easy mode.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to save Gotham from the villains’ mad schemes…this time…

Naturally, you’ll have to battle a few bosses over the course of your playthrough, however not as many as you might think. The game is structured more to have you battle wave upon wave of the same goons over and over until you reach the end of a stage, where a boss may be waiting for you, but it’s not always the case. I didn’t fight a boss until the second stage, for example, which pits you against three slightly tougher goons: Nick, Blade, and Flex, each of which fires at you with an Uzi, tosses grenades, or throws knives at you and can block your attacks (something you’re incapable of doing). You’ll know when you’re facing a boss as they actually have a life bar and the screen flashes dramatically after you defeat them, and these three weren’t all that difficult but, again, it’s easy to get caught in a crossfire and just whittled down to nothing in no time at all. At the end of an alleyway, you’ll fight Tassel (who seems to be the neon-painted, clown-like goon who hassled Dick in the film), who’s joined by a couple of gun-and-grenade-toting henchmen and shows off a bit of flippy, martial arts skill. After battling through goons on a rooftop, you’ll be confronted by a helicopter and a seemingly endless supply of enemies; simply fend them off, dodging the chopper’s machine gun fire, and press attack to toss projectiles when prompted. Two-Face will continually pop up to fire rockets at you in the subway and at the gala, and two of the Riddler’s robots will attack you with their extendable arms to cover their escape. These then become regular enemies in a construction site full of explosive barrels, where you’ll battle Feather and Stew, with Feather proving pretty tough thanks to being very handy with his bo staff. My run came to a disappointing end in Two-Face’s lair, however, where his beautiful bodyguards, Sugar and Spice, absolutely wrecked me with their fast attacks, which pummelled me from both sides without any chance of fighting back, treating to me to a rather bland game over screen (in the Batman: The Animated Series (1992 to 1999) font, no less) informing me of my failure to save Gotham City.

I was having a pretty good time with Batman Forever: The Arcade Game once I got past the visual and sensory overload. The game includes a renditions of Elliot Goldenthal’s score and some brief sound bites from the movie, but the sheer number of enemies and chaos happening onscreen at any one time can be a little overwhelming. The game looks fairly decent, even though things can get a bit ugly and distorted at times, but the depth of combat is a little odd compared to other beat-‘em-ups; the gadgets and various pick-ups mean there’s always something happening and you can rack up big combos, but it also feels like a lot of control is being taken away from you as Batman and Robin leap into action with these big, elaborate movements at the touch of a button. Unfortunately, neither are particularly durable; your health bar can be whittled down to nothing in the blink of an eye and you’ll burn through your lives and continues in no time, with no passwords or cheat codes to make things easier for you. It’s probably do-able, maybe in two-player mode, and I’m sure I’ll return to it again as I do enjoy a bit of sidescrolling, beat-‘em-up action, but lumbering you with limited continues for a home console release always irks me and there’s not really anything to unlock or to discover outside of the main campaign, which continues basically no story and very few cutscenes (and even these are limited to the in-game graphics, impressive as they can be). I’d like to know if you’ve ever played this one, either in the arcade or at home, and how well you fared against Gotham’s colourful swarms of criminals? Which character did you prefer, and what did you think to all the gadgets and power-ups? Which licensed Batman game is your favourite? Who is your favourite Robin and how are you celebrating the Boy Wonder’s debut this month?  Whatever your thoughts on this game, and Robin in general, sign up to leave them below or share your thoughts on my social media, and check back soon for more Robin content!

Game Corner [Crossover Crisis]: Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (Xbox 360)


In April 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1986) released and saw the temporary destruction of the “Multiverse”. To celebrate this momentous event, I’m discussing multiversal crossovers all throughout April in an event I dubbed “Crossover Crisis”.


Released: 16 November 2008
Developer: Midway Games
Also Available For: PlayStation 3

The Background:
Mortal Kombat (Midway, 1992) stood out from the competition at the time with its focus on gore and violence and unique digitised graphics; the game was a massive success for Midway and the first real competition for Street Fighter II: The World Warrior (Capcom, 1991) in arcades and on home consoles. However, while the franchise went from strength to strength during the 2D era of gaming, Mortal Kombat struggled to find a footing in the emerging 3D fighter arena, leading to the developers desperately trying to be innovative and appealing in an increasingly competitive business. Since Capcom had seen some success with crossovers with Marvel Comics and other fighting game developers, Mortal Kombat co-developer Ed Boon scrapped plans for a back-to-basics reboot of his violent fighting series in favour of a crossover with DC Comics. While incorporating popular DC characters like Bruce Wayne/Batman and Clark Kent/Superman had the potential to broaden Mortal Kombat’s mainstream appeal, the license carried many restrictions for the developers; Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe was hampered by a “Teen” rating, which substantially neutered the series’ trademark violence. This, as much as anything, greatly contributed to the game’s mediocre reception; while some found the title surprisingly enjoyable, despite its bonkers premise, others found the gameplay and variety frustratingly tedious. Although the game received a “Kollector’s Edition” release, this was Midway Games’ last project before they went bankrupt and plans for downloadable content were subsequently scrapped. Thankfully, this wasn’t the final nail in the coffin for the franchise; the association with DC’ s parent company, Warner Bros, saw Midway being purchased by Warner and restructured into NetherRealm Studios, and the ultra violent was not only soon back on track but the new studio also eventually found success with the DC license in a separate series of fighting games.

The Plot:
After Raiden and Superman repel invasions from both their worlds simultaneously in their separate universes, villains, Shao Kahn and Darkseid are unexpectedly merged into “Dark Kahn” and the two universes to begin merging, with catastrophic events. With characters from both universes wildly fluctuating in power, representatives from both worlds come together to stop the merger by any means necessary.

Gameplay:
Mirroring the style and presentation of its mainline series, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is a 2.5D fighting game in which players pick from a roster initially comprised of twenty fighters of iconic characters from both franchise’s and battle through the game’s single-player story mode, fight one-on-one against another player or computer-controlled opponent, battle their way through an arcade ladder, or take on a series of increasingly difficult combo challenges. By default, fights take place in a best-of-three format and against a time limit but you can alter these settings (and many others, including the game’s difficulty and the use of blood) in the game’s main options menu to speed up gameplay or make it more accessible to you. Rather than employing different fighting styles and weapon combat like its predecessors, or properly incorporate different variations like in the later games, Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe takes a very barebones approach to combat and gameplay options: controls are fully customisable but, by default, you can throw with X or Y, kicks with A or B, toss them aside with a generic throw with Left Bumper, block incoming attacks by holding the Right Trigger, dash towards (but not away from) your opponent, jump in or crouch down to attack or avoid incoming attacks, and string together combos by quickly pressing the attack buttons alongside directional inputs. The game includes a practice mode to help you get to grips with this, and a “Kombo Challenge” feature that helps you practice the game’s tricky combo system, but you can bring up your fighter’s moves at any time by pausing the game. It has to be said that combat is quite a hurdle here; you’ll sometimes jump or dash when you don’t mean to, even when using the directional pad, jumping punches can be very floaty and often miss, and the game seems weighted in the CPU’s favour even when playing on the easiest setting as they have no difficulty pulling off some of the ridiculous combos on offer here.

Unleash your Rage, pummel opponents in Free-Fall, or smash them through walls.

Each fighter can pull off a number of unique special moves with simple button and directional inputs (back, back, X, for example, or left, down, B); while these can be stringed together with combos, they can’t be enhanced like in subsequent games as your “Rage Meter” only allows you to pull of the ever-annoying breakers to interrupt combos and attacks when filled to the first tier and activate the game’s “Rage Mode” by pressing RT and LT at the same time. This will put you into “Rage” mode, which powers up your attacks and coats you in a glowing armour that weakens the damage you receive, shrugs off projectiles, and keeps you from being stunned or knocked over. This doesn’t last for very long but it can easily make short work of your opponent, and activating it will even see you unleash a burst of energy that knocks your foe away, so properly timing the burning of your Rage Meter can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. The game also features a few unique gameplay mechanics: if you grab your opponent with the Right Bumper , you’ll activate “Klose Combat” mode, which sees you pummelling or breaking your opponent’s limbs with successive presses of the face buttons. They (and you) can counter these attacks by pressing the right button at the right time, and these quasi-quick-time events (QTEs) also crop up in the “Free-Fall Kombat” and stage transition moments. In some stages, you can send your opponent plummeting down to a new part of the arena; while in free fall, you can mash different face buttons to deal damage and finish them off with RB, but they’ll turn the tide against you if they hit the right buttons. Similarly, some stages allow you to charge your opponent through a way, whereupon you’re asked to “Test Your Might!” in a tug-of-way style button mashing sequence that inflicts more damage the more of the bar you manage to fill. These mechanics can be fun ways to spice up the somewhat lacklustre in-game combat and definitely open up the otherwise bland and empty arenas a bit more since you can literally smash your opponent to new areas, but they’re a far cry from the stage transitions seen in the Injustice series (NetherRealm Studios, 2013 to present).

While you can get up close and personal with foes, the dull finishing moves will leave you disappointed.

Sadly, that’s about it for in-game options; some stages very destructible elements you can smash into, and all of the game’s characters sport special moves befitting of them (Sub-Zero’s ice blast, for example, and Bruce Wayne/Batman’s Batarangs) but, since the game is hampered by a lower rating, there is very little blood and none of the gore you’d expect from a Mortal Kombat. That’s not to say that Fatalities aren’t present, however, they’re just…what’s the word..?…oh yes! Shit. Unlike in subsequent games, you can’t view your character’s finisher inputs from the pause screen, which makes finishing your opponent a real chore, but very few of these moves are even worth your time pulling off. All of the Mortal Kombat characters can execute two Fatalities that will see them murder their opponent in the most PG way imaginable; while some leave the opponent an exceptionally dry and clean skeleton, most boil down to you simply stabbing, shooting, or crushing them with very little bloodshed. The more morally pure DC superheroes will opt to finish their opponent with one of two “Heroic Brutalities”, though many of these would no doubt leave the foe severely crippled or dead since we see the likes of Clark Kent/Superman driving them into the ground and Barry Allen/The Flash pummelling them at superspeed. Unlike in previous (and subsequent) Mortal Kombat videogames, there are no mini games to distract you and is no in-game currency to earn, no player profile or fighter card to customise, and no Krypt to explore to send your coins. There aren’t even alternate skins for the fighters beyond a very minor palette swap when choosing the same character, and the best the game offers is allowing you to view bios, character models, and endings in the “Extras” menu, all of which makes for a very stripped down title even compared to its predecessor, Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (Midway Games, 2006).

While there’s not much to the arcade mode, the story mode is decent enough, if limited and tedious.

This also means that there are no challenge towers or option combat modes like “Test Your Luck” or tag-team combat to spice up multi-player gameplay; you can play locally or online (well, I assume you can’t do this latter any more) in ranked and “King of the Hill” style matches but the arcade ladder is a standard, ten-fight challenge where the extent of the game’s variety is offering you the choice between facing all Mortal Kombat or all DC Universe opponents or a mixture of the two. Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe does, however, feature a single-player story mode but, strangely, it only allows you to play as up to eight characters from either side. After picking either the Mortal Kombat or DC Universe story, you’ll take control of a specific character and battle anywhere from three to five opponents as part of the campaign. This remains a great way to familiarise players with the vast majority of the game’s fighters and their unique combos and special moves, but you cannot perform finishing moves when playing the story mode. Although you can’t skip any of the cutscenes, or jump to specific chapters and fights after completion, you can save and quit…which is definitely something, though the game’s difficulty can become frustrating as the computer-controlled characters love to block your attacks, uppercut you out of nowhere, and jump-kick you out of the air, and can seemingly juggle you in an inescapable combo at will! Unlike in later NetherRealm Studios games, the story mode is as basic as it gets; the only time it actually tries anything remotely different is during Major Jackson “Jax” Briggs’ chapter as you’re forced to battle Diana Prince/Wonder Woman without your machine gun, which means you’re robbed of on of your ranged attacks. If you’re defeated, you have ten in-game seconds to choose between continuing and quitting, which is true of the arcade and two-player bouts as well. Unfortunately, winning or losing in two-player mode simply dumps you back to the fighter select screen and, as far as I could tell, there isn’t even a way to select your stage let alone input Kombat Kodes or activate anything interesting to make the fights less of a chore.

Graphics and Sound:
Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe looks pretty good, for the most part; the character models are very similar to those seen in Mortal Kombat (NetherRealm Studios, 2011), meaning they hold up about as well, but some suffer more than others. Women, for example, look particularly off; sure, it’s great seeing Selina Kyle/Catwoman’s amply cleavage and Lieutenant Sonya Blade’s nipples poking through her top, but they’re all impossibly sexualised and their hair is very blocky and static. Unlike later NetherRealm Studios offerings, character’s don’t have unique intros or dialogue with each other before a fight; the camera simply pans the arena and zooms in to find the combatants ready to go and, while they do have little animations between rounds, these don’t seem particularly unique to any fighter. Post-fight animations are a little more unique, but there’s a definite lack of variety and character in each fighter which reminds me of the cut-and-paste job seen in Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (with the exception of the Joker, who dances and prances all over the place at every opportunity). On the plus side, characters do take battle damage; you’ll see their clothes rip, blood and bruises form on skin, and even uncover Scorpion’s skull as inflict damage on your opponent, which is fun, but the lack of any alternate attires or skins is a major tick in the “Con” column for this barebones title.

Stages are quite bland, but character models and cutscenes are okay, save for the poor endings.

There are some other notable little details on offer, however; when you toss Kano’s dagger at an opponent, it’ll stay stuck in their chest for a bit, you can sheath and unsheathe Baraka’s arm-claws with a press of B, you’ll see Sub-Zero’s icy breath, and there’s even a reference to Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (Meyer, 1982) thrown in for good measure. Another thing in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe’s favour, however, is that the CGI cutscenes are basically indistinguishable from the in-fight graphics; while the character models might be a little less detailed than in later games and have that action figure sheen that is common in this generation of games, it’s still impressive that there’s little distinction between the two, though the voice acting leaves a lot to be desired (the DC Animated Universe this is not!) and there’s very little to inspire you in the soundtrack, either. Similarly, stages are quite a let-down; the majority of them have this half-and-half theme going on where the DC Universe is split or merging with that of Outworld, NetherRealm, or Earthrealm but, even with that, there’s hardly anything to see or do and the stages are disappointingly bland and empty considering how big they are and the fat that you can navigate them in a 3D space. The likes of Oa, Themyscira, and the Fortress of Solitude probably stand out the most and have a few things to see in the background, but there’s a distinct and disappointing lack of Easter Eggs and visually interesting stages. Probably the most interesting one is the asteroid stage that sees you transitioning above and below thanks to the messed up gravity, but the game continues to bug me with presenting all these passable CGI cutscenes and relegating the arcade mode endings to a series of still pictures with narration.

Enemies and Bosses:
Since this is a fighting game, every character will inevitably be your enemy at some point so it can be useful to get an idea of what each one is capable of by playing through the story mode and completing their arcade ladders. However, there isn’t really too much to distinguish each character; you’ think the Flash would be faster and slippery to control compared to Liu Kang but he really isn’t and, while Jax and Billy Batson/Captain Marvel may utilise powerful grabs, they don’t feel any slower than someone like Kano or Hal Jordan/Green Lantern. Every character has a few simple combos that it’s best to learn so you can leap in, mash X three times or X, X, Y and then hit a special move or a throw to deal some decent damage, and they’re obviously made a bit more unique by their individual special moves. Characters will invariably have a projectile or some kind of range attack, a rush or grapple of some kind, and sometimes even disorientating gadgets like flash or smoke grenades. Some have more special moves on offer than others; Shang Tsung, for example, can toss flaming skulls across the screen and from above, suck his opponent’s health to fill his own, swap places (but not bodies) with them, and pull off a slide while other characters, like Batman, Sub-Zero, and the Joker, have parry moves in their arsenal that can interrupt attacks. Some characters are also a little more versatile than others; Superman can suck enemies in for a big punch, rush at them and smack them out of the air, fry them with his heat vision, freeze them with his breath, and perform flying attacks while Lex Luthor relies on his mech suit to fire missiles and blast away from danger. It’s when playing or fighting against the Mortal Kombat characters that long-time series fans will be at their most familiar: Liu Kang tosses his trademark fireballs and flying kicks, Jax grabs his foe and causes shockwaves, Kane launches himself like a cannonball, Scorpion throws his trademark spear, and Kitana uses her fans and dashes about in the air to be her usual annoying self.

Overcome the largely interchangeable fighters to chip away at the monstrous despots.

The lack of powered-up attacks, unique throws, and the generic effects of Rage Mode mean that you really don’t have to tailor your fighting style all that much against different opponents; Raiden’s abilities don’t really make him all that different from Slade Wilson/Deathstroke as both can be jumped over, ducked under, and attacked even if one has a dash and teleport and the other relies more on ranged attacks. You also won’t have to worry about any secret fighters cropping up in the arcade ladder; what you see is basically what you get but you do have to watch for characters like Sonya stringing together their multi-kick attacks in a cheap-ass combo. The exception to this comes in the form of the game’s big bad, Dark Kahn, who basically just looks like a slightly tweaked version of Blaze from Mortal Kombat: Armageddon and fights with a combination of moves from Shao Kahn and Darkseid. Dark Kahn awaits at the end of the story mode and arcade tower and is easily the biggest challenge you’ll face outside of the harder difficulties and opponents getting cheaper and more aggressive. A lumbering, monstrous foe, Dark Kahn can absorb a great deal of damage, gains armour and invincibility frames, and can drain your health bar to nothing in just a few basic swipes to say nothing of his energy barrier, shoulder charge, rising knee, and Warhammer attacks. Your best bet against him is to soften him up with ranged attacks and projectiles and stay moving; hop in, land a combo, and follow it up with a jump kick and then back away to avoid him stringing together his devastating moves in an inescapable barrage. The same is true of Shao Kahn and Darkseid, who act as sub-bosses in the arcade ladder; individually, they’re almost as formidable as their merged form, with both able to stun you with their hammer, fry you with their eye lasers, and smash you into the ground with a leaping attack. While you can’t play as Dark Kahn or perform your finishing moves on him, you can perform your finishing moves against Shao Kahn and Darkseid but, while both of these characters are unlocked after finishing the story mode (and, confusingly, pressing RB on the character select screen rather than adding them to the roster), neither of them have Fatalities of their own. Ultimately, while these three aren’t as impossible or as cheap as other Mortal Kombat bosses and sub-bosses, none of them really challenge your combat skills beyond relying on hit-and-run and spam tactics much like the previous two Mortal Kombat videogames that just ended with this hulking beast that could wreck you if given a chance rather than something that actually requires a bit more skill.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
There’s absolutely nothing on offer in this regard in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe beyond the individual character’s special moves; this game is severely lacking even for a one-on-one fighter as there are no codes or options to spice up gameplay, no weapons to grab, barely anything to interact with in stages, and characters don’t even get buffs or anything with their special moves the closest they get is teleporting, surrounding themselves in a damaging aura for a bit, or tossing bombs or grenades either close, mid-range, or far away.

Additional Features:
There are fifty Achievements on offer in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe; many of these are obtained simply by playing through the story mode, with Achievements popping after certain chapters and completing each (and both) stories. Simpler ones are acquired by performing a ten-hit combat, initiating Klose- and Free-Fall Kombat, and performing one Fatality or Heroic Brutality. Things get a little more complicated and frustrating when you try to perform all of these moments as a handful of them require you to press up, which makes you jump and interrupts the sequence, and in trying to get the 5G Achievements from completing each character’s Kombo Challenge otherwise, you’ll get Achievements for finishing the arcade ladder with all characters and competing in online fights, which are probably impossible to get these days. These involved standard fare that you might expect, as mentioned, and you can fight locally, but beyond unlocking every character’s ending and trying to finish their Kombo Challenges, there really isn’t anything else on offer here once you’ve finished the story mode and a few arcade ladders. There’s no concept art, character models, or extras to unlock, no gear or skins or arenas to unlock, and no downloadable fighters on offer, making for an extremely barebones and lacklustre fighting title that struggles to compete against others in the genre or even its predecessors.

The Summary:  
There was a lot of promise in the concept of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe; after the success that Capcom had with their ventures with Marvel Comics, this could’ve been a great springboard to a more mainstream audience. Sadly the game is let-down at almost every turn: everything from the music to the visuals and the depths of the combat is just lacking, to say nothing of the additional features and options for replayability. It’s interesting revisiting this after playing Mortal Kombat ’11 since that game was supposed to be the franchise’s back-to-basics approach but it’s hard to get more barebones than Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe. Even some of the 2D games had little extras, mini games or cheats or options to tweak the gameplay, but there’s absolutely nothing here, not even alternate skins for the fighters! The story mode is okay; it’s a paper thin excuse to mash these worlds together but it works, but I have no idea why it’s not a twenty-chapter mode that lets you play as each character from both sides. I’m actually a bit lenient on the lacklustre finishing moves; I get that the game couldn’t show spines being ripped out and flash being melted, but I think a little more effort could’ve gone into these and I really don’t like the term “Heroic Brutality”. The Free-Fall Kombat, Klose Kombat, and stage transitions are somewhat interesting, but the stages are so bland and empty that they’re completely wasted here. similarly, the lack of individuality to these colourful characters and the generic nature of their special moves and the Rage Mode really make this probably the most mediocre game in the entire franchise. Ultimately, this feels like a rushed, budget title that was hampered by pressing deadlines and financial pressure and a complete waste of the DC license. If you can get it cheap, give it a try and nab some easy Achievements, but otherwise you’re better off playing NetherRealm’s later games as this is just such a throwaway disappointment of a game.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

What did you think to Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe? Were you disappointed by its use of the DC license? What were your thoughts on the game’s story and its depiction of these worlds merging? Which of the game’s fighters was your favourite and why? What did you think to the Free-Fall and Klose Kombat features? Were you disappointed by the lack of special features and the Rage Mode mechanic? Which characters or features would you have liked to see added to the game? Which Mortal Kombat and/or DC Comics videogame, movie, comic, or other piece of media is your favourite? Are you a fan of multiverse stories and crossovers? Whatever you think about Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe, eave a comment down below and be sure to check back in next Tuesday for more Crossover Crisis content!