The Date: 27 August 2000 The Venue: Raleigh Entertainment and Sports Arena; Raleigh, North Carolina The Commentary: Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler The Referee: Jim Korderas and Tim White The Stakes: Triple threat Tables, Ladders, and Chairs (TLC) match for the WWF Tag Team Championships
The Build-Up: For many, myself included, the year 2000 was a peak time in wrestling, particularly in the then-World Wrestling Federation (WWF). Coming out of a widely criticisedWrestleMania, the company really hit its stride after riding the surge of popularity following the engaging rivalry between WWF chairman Vince McMahon and the renegade “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. With Austin out with a serious neck injury, the WWF strapped the proverbial rocket to the Rock, who reigned as a super-popular fan favourite champion in the main event, but their undercard wasn’t exactly slouching, either. The tag team division, already full of some colourful characters, hit a new pinnacle with the many contests between Matt and Jeff, the Hardy Boyz, and Edge and Christian that stretched back to each teams’ time in the Brood stable. By this point, the two had already engaged in death-defying ladder matches but their rivalry reached new heights when Bubba Ray and D-Von, the Dudley Boyz, brought their own brand of hardcore action to their matches, specifically in the form of tables. The three teams had already clashed at WrestleMania earlier that year in a triangle ladder match that saw Edge & Christian utilise their trademark chairs (with the two being known for a double chair shot to the head known as the “Con-Chair-To”) and the Dudleyz had made a name for themselves by driving WWF Superstars, particularly women, through tables, much to the delight of the crowd. With the rivalry between the three only intensifying, WWF commissioner Mick Foley ordered Edge & Christian to defend their WWF Tag Team Championships against both teams in this, the first-ever TLC match, in which the competitors must scale a ladder to claim the belts like in a traditional ladder match but could also utilise steel chairs and tables for additional carnage.
The Match: Edge and Christian hit the ring first and then wisely bailed as their opponents followed; the Hardyz were so desperate to throw hands with the Dudleyz that they rushed to the ring before Howard Finkel could finish his introductions. Edge and Christian tried to take advantage by attacking them with all with steel chairs, but the Hardyz intercepted them, relieving them of their chairs so they could use them against Bubba, D-Von, and Christian. However, while Bubba took a chair right to the face courtesy of Matt, he immediately got a measure of payback by knocking Jeff out of the air with a chair shot as he went for the Hardyz’ patented Poetry in Motion. Edge then caused Matt to take a powder following a clothesline and he and Christian worked over D-Von, with Christian using a steel chair to hit a big crossbody in the corner and then sending D-Von face-first into it with a drop toehold. The guys paired off and stomped at each other for a bit to buy Edge the time he needed to slip outside and bring the first ladder of the match into play; he slammed Bubba into it, but the damn Dudley easily sidestepped a running charge and sent the ladder back into Edge’s face using the ring ropes. Bubba then planted Christian with a DDT and, as the crowd chanted “We want tables!” over and over, climbed up the ladder to make a try for the belts. The Hardyz intercepted him, however, and planted him with a powerbomb-like slam off the ladder; while Matt beat down Christian, Jeff started a climb of his own only to face opposition as D-Von set up his own ladder right next to the first one. Both men were so distracted fending the other off and climbing for the belts that they were easily caught from behind with Edge, who took them both down with a double Russian leg sweep of sorts.
The action and the stunts built beautifully in the early going as the teams utilised their signature weapons.
Christian then tried to take advantage, climbing both ladders at once, but Bubba shut him down with authority by landing a big-time Bubba Bomb off the top rungs of the ladder! Jeff then took a hellacious bump when he tried climbing a third ladder only to be toppled off by Edge onto the other two ladders, which were stacked up on the mat, the impact of which also smashed the ladder into Matt and Bubba’s faces, as well. Edge and Christian went for the Con-Chair-To on Jeff, but he managed to drop to the mat at the last second; Bubba then went nuts with a ladder, running it right into the champions and using it to smash a steel chair back into Jeff’s face. To the absolute delight of the crowd, Bubba and D-Von hit their Wassup! headbutt to Edge’s groin and Bubba demanded that D-Von “Get the tables!!” Unsatisfied with the selection under the ring and suspiciously avoiding the tables already set up at ringside, D-Von retrieved a table from the entrance ramp and set it up in the ring as Bubba beat on Matt, Jeff, and Christian before the two successfully drove Christian through the wood with their Dudley Death Drop (3D) finish to a crescendo of applause. The Dudleyz then went outside and created a four-table stack right next to the ring but, before they could do anything with this structure, Edge attacked with a steel chair, cracking both right over the head (!) before Matt planted him with the Twist of Fate. The Hardyz then added to the assault by hitting stereo leg drops to a prone Edge from a nearby ladder set up in the ring corner. Matt then awkwardly sandwiched Edge between a ladder before launching Christian off the top rope and onto it, which had to absolutely suck for his ribs. Meanwhile, on the outside, Jeff laid Bubba over a table and went for a Swanton Bomb off a massive ladder only to crash and burn when Bubba rolled off the table at the last minute!
After putting their opponents down with some big spots, the champions retained their titles.
Matt brought the twenty-foot ladder into the ring and (eventually) made a climb for the belts. However, after Edge, Christian, and D-Von intercepted him, and all four men went crashing to the mat after Christian planted Matt with a reverse DDT and Edge and D-Von fell to the top rope. Shaking off the effects of a brutal chair shot to the head, Bubba stumbled into the ring and started climbing, only for Edge and Christian to tip the ladder over and send him crashing through the four-table stack on the outside! With the field clear of their opposition, Edge and Christian went for the belts only for Lita to interrupt their climb by dumping them crotch-first onto the top rope! Encouraged by Lita, Matt desperately set up the ladder and briefly brushed the tips of his fingers against the belts before D-Von went him careening through two tables stacked up outside the other side of the ring! Edge then Speared Lita on the outside, nearly cracking her head open on the edge of a ladder in the process as Jeff and D-Von competed to grab the championship belts. Both men grabbed onto them as Edge pushed the ladder out from under them and frantically kicked at each other while dangling high above the ring. D-Von was sent crashing to the mat, but Jeff refused to let go. Edge and Christian solved this problem by swatting Jeff out of the air with a ladder and, with all their opponents unconscious or incapacitated from their falls, the champions successfully climbed the twenty-foot ladder and retrieved their belts. This was, in a word, carnage; but controlled carnage. So much could’ve easily gone wrong, but it came together really well, even with a couple of awkward moments here and there as the guys prepared tables and ladders for later spots. There wasn’t much chair action here but, in a match involving ladders and tables, it makes sense to focus on these aspects and the crowd was super into all the big spots and, though livid that Edge and Christian walked away with the belts once more, clearly appreciated all of the death-defying action crammed into these twenty minutes.
The Aftermath: Of course, this wouldn’t be the last time these three teams fought. They brawled the very next night on Raw is War and the Hardyz defeated the Dudleyz to become the number one contenders soon after. While the Dudleyz were side-tracked with teams like the Acolytes Protection Agency (APA) and the Right to Censor, the Hardyz beat Edge & Christian for the belts at Unforgiven, only for the wily Canadians to briefly outsmart the brothers by assuming the guises of masked lucha libres. The storylines then converged at the 2000 Survivor Series, where the Hardyz and the Dudleyz joined forces against the Right to Censor and Edge & Christian in a winning effort. Though Edge & Christian were able to regain the belts by winning a Fatal 4-Way match at Armageddon, the Dudleyz then defeated the Canadian duo (despite nursing storyline concussions) at the Royal Rumble event and successfully defended them against not just Edge & Christian but always the Undertaker and Kane at No Way Out at the start of 2001. The stage was thus set for another TLC match at WrestleMania X-Seven, this one even more chaotic than the last and featuring run-ins from not only Lita, but Rhyno and Spike Dudley as well, though Edge & Christian again came out on top as the champions by the end.
The TLC match became a staple of WWE programming over the years.
Over the next few years, the paths of these six men would regularly cross; even when pursuing singles glory, the three teams would butt heads in the ring, clashing or competing in eight subsequent TLC matches over the next ten years or otherwise utilising tables, ladders, and chairs as they fought for pride, vengeance, or championship gold. The TLC match evolved slightly as time went on, with the match occasionally allowing pin fall victories and shifting away from tag team action to primarily be used in singles matches for the various World Heavyweight Championships. The match even got its own annual pay-per-view slot, featured little persons competing in a “WeeLC” match, was used to unify the World Heavyweight and World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) Championships, and Kane once even captured the World Tag Team Championships all by himself on the first-ever Raw broadcast of the stipulation. The WWE’s first-ever women’s TLC match took place at TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs in 2018; this was a triple threat match for the SmackDown! Women’s Championship but, at the following year’s event, the first-ever women’s tag team TLC match took place.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
What did you think to the first-ever TLC match? Were you into the rivalry between these three teams? Which team did you want to see win and were you annoyed that Edge & Christian escaped with the belts? Were you impressed by the death-defying action in the match? Which TLC match is your favourite? Which of the matches featuring Edge & Christian, the Hardy Boyz, and the Dudley Boyz is your favourite? What are some of your favourite SummerSlam matches and moments? Whatever you think about these teams, the TLC stipulation, and SummerSlam, be sure to share them below or comment on my social media.
Story Title: “The Coming of the Blue Beetle” Published: August 1939 Writer: Will Eisner Artist: Charles Nicholas
The Background: Something I’ve always found fascinating about the history of DC Comics is just how many of their characters and concepts originated elsewhere; Billy Batson/Shazam might be a DC mainstay now but he started life in Fawcett Comics, for example, and even heavy hitters like the Justice Society of America were published under the All-American Publications banner before being bought by, or rebranded, to DC Comics. This is also true of the very first Blue Beetle, Dan Garret; created by Charles Nicholas Wojtkoski, the Blue Beetle was one of many costumed adventurers who would come to be featured in the pages of various comic books published by Charlton Comics and, in his earliest incarnation, was a domino-masked pulp crimefighter rather than a superhero. In fact, the character’s look and origin was almost a composite of the likes of Kit Walker/The Phantom and Denny Colt/The Spirit, which isn’t too surprising given that comic icon Will Eisner allegedly assisted with Garret’s first adventures. Initially appearing under Fox Comics publications, the otherwise powerless Blue Beetle would be taken on by Charlton Comics and play a significant, if often forgotten, role in the legacy of his successors. Indeed, Dan Garret is sometimes all but forgotten about whenever the subject of the Blue Beetle comes up since, like other Golden Age heroes, his influence was surpassed by his Silver and Modern Age equivalents. As a result, he’s rarely featured, referenced, or even acknowledged within DC Comics, let alone in ancillary media but, since his modern day successor has since made his live-action debut, I figured I would revisit Garret’s first appearance and examine the origins of this often overlooked character.
The Review: Dan Garret is just your normal, everyday beat cop in a normal, everyday city where bankers like Mr. Vander are kidnapped in broad daylight. Indeed, poor old Dan was just minding his own business, patrolling his beat, when he was suddenly fired upon from a car. Although he takes a slug to the shoulder, Dan still has the presence of mind to fire back, but he’s unable to stop the speeding car, out of which is thrown an elderly man. Despite the pain from his injury, Dan tends to the man, who turns out to be the aforementioned Mr. Vander, a banker who was kidnapped by the “White Face Gang” alongside his daughter and his secretary, John Brandes. While Dan miraculously recovers from his wound between panels, Mr. Vanders isn’t so lucky; the sergeant informs Dan that the banker died later that evening, though the cops were able to recover the gang’s car. Rather than rest up as his sergeant suggests, Dan inspects the vehicle. Although the car’s serial number has been filed off, a “drop of specially prepared chemical” reveals the number and that the car belongs to a certain garage owner named Mike Ravani.
When a banker’s daughter is kidnapped, flatfoot Dan Garret investigates as the Blue Beetle!
Later that same evening, the Vanders girl is being tortured across town in Ravani’s garage by a group of thugs, who threaten to set her ablaze if she doesn’t tell them the combination to her father’s bank’s vault. One of the thugs spies an ominous sight, however: a blue beetle, the calling card of the titular suit-and-fedora-clad vigilante. Rather than rushing in and beating the gang to a pulp, the Blue Beetle is able to spare the girl from further torture by offering to tell them the combination to the vault in exchange for a 40% cut. Despite the fact that he’s a mysterious masked manhunter, the gang agrees to the offer; though they’re smart enough to take the Blue Beetle with them, they inexplicably leave him alone long enough to place a call to police headquarters using his special wireless phone. Consequently, when the White Face Gang break into the bank, the cops are there to get the jump on them; the Blue Beetle then punches one out, blinds another with a gas capsule, and then flees in his car as the gang is arrested. Their leader is unmasked to reveal it was John Brandes all along in a twist that really doesn’t make all the much sense as it can’t have been difficult for Mr. Vanders’ secretary to learn the safe combination. Things get even more confusing as Dan owes his plan’s success to his friend, drug store owner Abe, who apparently houses his Blue Beetle gear and called the White Face Gang to confirm the Blue Beetle’s combination…? I don’t really understand it, personally. Anyway, the gang is arrested, and Dan returns to work, where one of his colleagues tells him all about how he came so close to nailing the elusive Blue Beetle…even though they never actually had a hope in hell as he was long gone by the time they arrived.
The Summary: Well…this was pretty awful. It’s strikingly similar to the first appearance of Bruce Wayne/Batman, something that shouldn’t be too surprising considering Batman’s pulp roots and Bob Kane’s talent for plagiarism. While the quality of these scans isn’t great, the artwork is fitting for the era; by which I mean it’s grainy, messy, low on detail, and a bit confusing with all the high contrasting colours and such. To be fair, the story does a decent job of introducing us to Dan Garret; he’s just a normal, everyday bloke but he tends to others even while wounded and takes it upon himself to tackle criminals…even though there’s no suggestion that the police are baffled by the kidnapping and no reason given as to why he’s adopted a masked persona. Like many pulp heroes, the Blue Beetle has a fancy car and a base of operations (though we never see it in detail) and a confidante who shelters and supplies him (though we learn nothing about him except that he’s an old friend and runs a drug store).
A confusing story featuring a Green Hornet rip-off that fails to impress on almost every level.
The Blue Beetle’s attire here is a simple blue suit, black fedora, and white domino mask that looks like he’s wrapped a handkerchief around his eyes! In fact, there’s little to separate the Blue Beetle from Britt Reid/The Green Hornet when it comes to his overall appearance and the down-to-earth nature of his crimefighting methods. His iconography, the Blue Beetle, is visible on his chest and apparently is left as a calling card to announce his arrival, though it’s not clear how he got this into the gang’s garage nor is it explained why Dan has chosen this motif for his masked persona, which only lends more weight to the argument that he’s a Green Hornet rip-off. The Blue Beetle also employs smoke pellets to blind his foes, packs a mean right hook, and carries a miniature wireless phone that’s quite ahead of its time, indicating that he’s surprisingly well funded and intelligent for a simple beat cop. However, the story falls apart very easily for me; I don’t get why Brandes would have to resort to kidnapping and murder for his crime, or how Abe’s call to the gang aided the plan. It’s also weird that the Blue Beetle is seen to be a known vigilante, yet the White Face Gang take him at his word when he offers to help, almost as if he’s some underworld figure. I don’t have any answers to that; all I know was that this was a very confusing and an extremely disappointing first outing for the Blue Beetle that paints him as a forgettable knock-off rather than a memorable pulp hero.
My Rating:
⭐
Rating: 1 out of 5.
Terrible
Have you ever read the first appearance of Dan Garret’s Blue Beetle? If so, what did you think to it? Was there anything about this strip that impressed you or do you agree that the Blue Beetle was a rather underwhelming presence? Are you able to explain the plot and what the hell happened with Abe and Brandes’ plan, because it didn’t make much sense to me…? Who is your favourite pulp hero? Would you like to see more from Dan Garret or do you prefer a different Blue Beetle and, if so, who is it? I’d love to know your thoughts on the Blue Beetle down in the comments or on my social media, so feel free to share them and be sure to check out my other Blue Beetle content.
In August 1962, Stan Lee, Larry Lieber, and Jack Kirby introduced readers of Marvel Comics (specifically Journey into Mystery) to Thor Odinson, God of Thunder and mightiest of the Asgardian deities. Through associations with Marvel’s premier super team, the Avengers, and a number of cosmic, mythological adventures, Thor has become another of Marvel’s most successful and versatile. Being as it’s the first Thursday (or “Thor’s Day”) of the month, what better way to celebrate the God of Thunder than to take a look back at his live-action debut!
Released: 22 May 1988 Director: Nicholas Corea Distributor: New World International Budget: Unknown Stars: Bill Bixby, Lou Ferrigno, Steve Levitt, Eric Kramer, Lee Purcell, Tim Thomerson, and Jack Colvin
The Plot: For two years, Doctor David Banner (Bixby) has been able to keep his monstrous alter ego, the Hulk (Ferrigno) at bay. Banner’s hopes to rid himself of the Hulk once and for all with his Gamma Transponder are interrupted by a former student of his, Donald Blake (Levitt), and Thor (Kramer), the brutish Norse God of Thunder under Blake’s control. When mob boss Jack LeBeau (Thomerson) threatens to pervert Banner’s research, he reluctantly teams up with Blake and Thor to ensure that his machine doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.
The Background: Long before the creation of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), Marvel Comics had a decent amount of success with live-action adaptations thanks to the iconic Incredible Hulk television series (1977 to 1982). The show, which coined the memorable “Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” line, aired eighty episodes before finally concluding on 12 May 1982 and forever entrenched the Green Goliath in the cultural consciousness thanks to standout performances by star Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno, who would go on to voice the character for years to come. About six years after the end of the series, the first of three made-for-television movies was produced, intended as a backdoor pilot for a Thor spin-off. The Incredible Hulk Returns was, apparently, a ratings success, which justified the production of the nexttwo television features.
The Review: So, if you’ve been following my website for a while and reading my previous reviews of the Incredible Hulk’s made-for-TV movies, you might’ve noticed that they’re a bit out of order. This actually reflects how I watched them as a kid, since I actually saw The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (Bixby, 1989) first, though it’s pretty clear right from the beginning that this film is meant to be take place two years after the end of the show. This is most obvious not just from the film’s title, but the inclusion of the classic opening sequence, narrated by Ted Cassidy, which gives a (very) brief rundown on the premise of the show. After experimenting on himself with Gamma radiation in an effort to unlock the hidden superhuman strength within all of us, Doctor David Banner finds himself transforming into a green-skinned beast whenever angered or panicked. Banner is believed to be dead, and this “Hulk” is pegged as the culprit, and the doctor has been forced to go on the run in a desperate attempt to find a cure for his condition, all while reporter Jack McGee (Colvin) relentlessly hounds him at every turn to try and get the scoop on the Hulk.
Banner’s chance for a cure is ruined by the surprise interruption of Blame and his magic hammer.
The Incredible Hulk Returns glosses over basically everything that happened in the show and picks up some two years later; Banner, using the fake name of “David Bannion”, lives a relatively stable and happy life with his long-term girlfriend, biogeneticist Doctor Margaret “Maggie” Shaw (Purcell). Though plagued by nightmares of his monstrous condition, Banner has finally found a happiness that had long eluded him; although he’s told a version of the truth to Maggie (he summed the whole situation up as a long period of “self-destructive behaviour”), he’s managed to hide the true extent of his secret from her and politely refuses to move in with her permanently to protect her lest his other half emerge. Maggie’s influence on Banner is immediate; not only is he content with her, but the Hulk has laid dormant for two years because of her positive influence on him, and it’s out of love for her that he works on his latest cure so he can fully commit to this new life. Banner has found a modicum of success as a scientist for the Joshua Lambert Research Institute, where he’s the brains behind the “Gamma Transponder”, a machine that promises to deliver unlimited, clean, renewable energy while also ridding Banner of his monstrous affliction. Much to chagrin of his employers, Joshua and Zachary Lambert (John Gabriel and Jay Baker), Banner refuses to take the spotlight or be publicly acknowledged for his work, not just because he insists that it was a team effort but also to avoid being recognised by the likes of McGee when he’s so close to a cure. Following a public unveiling of the institute’s most promising technological marvel, Banner wastes no time in activating the Gamma Transponder to rid himself of the Hulk. As is his nature, he is meticulous about this, recording what essentially amounts to a farewell message to Maggie and his colleagues in case the worst should happen, and emphasising that the machine can do everything he promised and so much more. Unfortunately, his experiment ends before it can even begin when a shady character grapples up into the lab and interrupts the procedure. This turns out to be a former acquaintance of his, Donald Blake, who sought to confirm that his old mentor was still alive and ask for his help in solving a very unique problem he has.
Blake can summon and command Thor, who must perform heroic deeds to ascend to Valhalla.
A far cry from the crippled doctor of the comics, Blake is a young and irresponsible figure, who often got into trouble as a student and acts without thinking of the consequences, Blake has been fixated on Norse mythology and culture his whole life but has never been able to explain why, so he signed on as the team doctor for a hazardous excursion into the frigid Norse mountains as a way to scratch that itch. Drawn towards a cave by pure instinct, Blake stumbled upon the tomb of a Viking warrior king known as Thor, who was denied entrance into Valhalla until he had paid a penance for a lifetime of arrogance. Blake discovered a Viking warhammer laying next to the skeletal remains of the warrior and, upon seizing it, was stunned by the arrival of Thor, reborn into the living world, following a flash of lightning and the rumble of thunder. Interestingly, Banner completely forgets about his experiment to indulge Blake in his story, but is sceptical that his old student truly brought a long-dead Viking warrior back to life. and rightfully so; The Incredible Hulk was always a very grounded show, with the only fantastical element being the titular green-hued beast, so the introduction of actual, real magical elements is as jarring to Banner as it is to the audience. Unfortunately for him, his scepticism leads to disaster as Blake calls forth Thor and Banner is stunned to find the brutish Norse warrior king is not only real, but dangerous in his arrogance and brash nature. Rather than Blake and Thor being one and the same, as in the comics, they are two completely separate individuals here; just as Blake is bound to the hammer, Thor is tied to him, duty-bound to follow Blake’s directions in a bid to fulfil his heroic quota and appease Odin so he can finally rest. Although he’s not as fantastical as his comic book counterpart, Thor possesses incredible superhuman strength but, despite wishing to perform heroic deeds, he’s impulsive and a stranger to the ways of the modern world.
Thor proves a valuable, if hot-headed, ally to the Hulk in battling their gangster foes.
Thor sees Banner as a “warlock”, the Hulk as a “troll”, and cars as “metal chariots” and is used to his demands for food, drink, and revels being met without question; frustrated at being little more than Blake’s slave, Thor wishes to live, to indulge himself, and craves the rush of battle. While this means his impetuous nature triggers Banner’s first transformation into the Hulk in two years, he delights in clashing with the Hulk, but is stunned when the Green Goliath shrugs off his attacks, and even electrified blows from his hammer. In a moment of hubris, a combination of shock, respect, and fear, Thor changes tries to befriend the beast after seeing the extent of his rage and fighting prowess, and humbly affords the proper respect and consideration towards Banner in subsequent scenes. Irritated by Blake’s interference and influence, to say the least, Banner guilt-trips him into sticking around rather than just running away after all the trouble he’s caused. In this way, Banner forces Blake to stop avoiding responsibility, or constantly shifting the blame to Thor, which ties into Thor’s earthly mission to encourage Blake to step up and be more heroic. While Blake is something of a burden to Banner, and Thor’s lumbering oafishness causes more than its fair share of trouble, Banner’s life is only compounded when McGee sees the newspaper report on the lab incident and immediately sets out to sniff out any news of the Hulk. McGee is small fry compared to Zach Lambert, however, who hires Cajun mobster Jack LeBeau (Thomerson) to steal the Gamma Transponder in a bid to screw over his domineering older brother and profit from the machine. Unfortunately, LeBeau’s men are thwarted in their attempt by the Hulk, and he thus decides to target Maggie instead; despite the best efforts of the Hulk and Thor, Maggie, already reeling from discovering Banner’s secret, is kidnapped from her beachfront home after a surprisingly engaging helicopter attack. LeBeau and his goons aren’t really much more than the stereotypical gangsters, but they’re given a bit of an edge with their Cajun accents and willingness not only to take Maggie as a hostage but also to kill Zach when he starts to get cold feet. Zach’s motivations are a bit weak (he wanted to have something for himself after being handed everything by Josh) but things quickly spiral out of his control when LeBeau goes into business for himself. LeBeau’s actions are enough to properly get the Hulk and Thor on the same page, and for Blake to see the potential for good Thor has, so as a plot device it ticks enough boxes for some last-act action and to crush Banner’s dreams of finally curing himself but none of the antagonists ever really pose a physical threat to either superhumans despite their greater numbers and being reasonably well armed.
The Nitty-Gritty: Like I said, The Incredible Hulk has always been very grounded and focused more on science than mystical elements, so the introduction of Thor really does change the perception of the show in interesting ways. Obviously, the team up between Thor and the Hulk is nowhere near the grand spectacle of the MCU, but his presence definitely pushes the show more towards its comic book roots than ever before. It ties perfectly into Banner’s ongoing, desperate search for a cure; just as his efforts were thwarted time and time again in the show, his best effort to date is not only accidentally sabotaged by Thor but forever denied him due to the events of the film, and Banner is forced to return to his old, wandering life by the end. Along the way, though, he’s at least able to help impart some wisdom to Blake, who begins the film directionless and desperate in his own right but destined for greatness since he literally commands the power of a God, he just lacks the confidence and compunction to truly accept that destiny. Sadly, this comes at the expense of Banner’s cure, and his newfound life; this remains the closest Banner would ever get to a sense of normalcy, and in many ways he might have been better off using Maggie as his calming influence rather than constructing an elaborate machine that could be used for nefarious purposes, but it’s the tragedy of the character to be doomed to a life of hardship and to put his intelligence, and unique condition, to work aiding others rather than himself.
Alongside a fair amount of action and Hulk-outs, Thor’s boorish nature provides some humour.
As in every instance when I return to The Incredible Hulk, it’s the Green Goliath himself who provides the bulk of the action and spectacle. Lou Ferrigno excels in the role, which actually requires a little more nuance than just growling and looking hench as fuck! since the Hulk is now joined by a fellow boisterous muscleman. The initial fight between the Hulk and Thor might boil down to a lot of posturing and posing, but there’s some decent stuff there considering the limitations of the time and budget; the lightning effects when Thor arrives and leaves and tosses his hammer are crude but they get the point across, and the Hulk is even show lifting the Viking warrior up and tossing him aside, humbling the would-be Thunder God. Thor himself steals the show for me; sure, Kramer is garbed in a pretty cheap looking outfit and spouts some cheesy dialogue, but it works for the character’s raucous nature. Thor is a born and bred, battle-tested warrior from a very different time, when men fought and revelled and threw themselves in the glory of battle, and he’s frustrated that all Blake wants to do is discuss the nature of their relationship and destiny. Blake is moved by a poignant soliloquy from Thor in which the Viking expresses the pain and despair of having lost everything he knows and cursed to lay dead, and yet fully conscious, between worlds, and the two bond during one of the film’s most entertaining moments when Blake takes Thor to a biker bar to indulge his vices. Thor adds a much appreciated comedic element to the narrative, downing pitchers of beer, being a carefree and impulsive character, and even posing as David Bannion when McGee comes calling in a hilarious moment. Again, this does detract from the Hulk somewhat, who is noticeably absent in the middle part of the film, but Banner more than carries his own weight as he’s forced to neutralise the Gamma Transponder to keep it from being perverted into a weapon, thus destroying his best chance at a cure.
Banner loses his best hope of a cure and walks away from his idyllic new life in search of a new hope.
After Maggie is kidnapped and held to ransom, Banner has no choice but the dismantle the Gamma Transponder, erase all of the computer records, and destroy the machine’s most vital component to keep it from being weaponised. He and Blake then head to the agreed meeting place with the intention of rescuing Maggie, but things quickly become complicated when Josh shows up, grief stricken by Zach’s death, and triggers another transformation into the Hulk. This means that The Incredible Hulk Returns has a fair few Hulk-outs packed into it, which is actually quite surprising given how often the show (and these feature-length adventures) liked to focus on Banner’s personal dramas. It also means that the film concludes with the Hulk and Thor storming through LeBeau’s men, easily shielding themselves from their gunfire and overpowering them with their superior physical strength; even Blake gets in on the action, completely disregarding whatever hypocritic oath he may or may not have taken to gun down one of the mobster’s goons. Despite LeBeau taking Maggie at gunpoint, the Hulk cuts quite the intimidating figure, meaning he’s easily able to snatch the gun from his hand and subdue LeBeau by wrapping him up in a metal pipe. Although they’re victorious, Banner’s life has been irrevocably changed by the events; while McGee faces ridicule for his obsession chasing monsters, his presence and the publicity surrounding it all scares Banner off. While Blake and Thor make peace with each other and head out to do some good in the world, Banner is forced to leave Maggie and his idyllic life behind and hit the road once more, once again cursed to endure his hardship alone.
The Summary: The Incredible Hulk Returns is easily my favourite of the Incredible Hulk’s three feature-length adventures; although my experience with the television show is still very limited, I feel this one is a bit more legitimate in a lot of ways since it retains the opening sequence, Jack McGee features in it, and it has the same kind of atmosphere as the show. However, it also introduces fantastical elements to the otherwise grounded narrative, elements that don’t crop up again and make this a really unique entry in the show. I can see why some would find the Hulk sharing the screen with Thor, of all people, a little jarring but I find it incredibly enjoyable; Thor is a boorish, loud-mouthed, arrogant warrior who is massively out of place in every scene he’s in and it’s endlessly entertaining as he’s central to many of the film’s comedic and action-orientated moments. The Hulk is massive and eye-catching as always, performing a number of impressive physical feats and more than meeting his match with Thor who, despite being a little underpowered compared to the source material (much like the Hulk), still makes a visual impact. It’s cool seeing them onscreen together, fighting, roaring, and revelling in their battles, and this is nicely juxtaposed with the disappointing shattering of Banner’s new life. Clearly, the focus is on establishing the relationship dynamic between Blake and Thor, but Banner’s decision to destroy his only hope of a cure for a greater good and heading back on the road is very familiar to anyone who’s watched the show before. I think there’s a fair amount to like here, and Bixby holds his own against his less subtle screen partners to deliver a poignant reintroduction to the character, who’s doomed to forever be burdened with his monstrous alter ego.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Have you ever seen The Incredible Hulk Returns? What did you think to the introduction of Thor into the show’s continuity and did you enjoy Kramer’s performance? Were you sad to see that Banner had to walk away from his new life? What did you think to the relationship between Thor and Blake and would you have liked to see a spin-off show focusing on them? How are you celebrating Thor’s debut this month, if at all? I’d love to hear your thoughts on Thor in the comments or on my social media so feel free to drop me a line.
Gillian Church posts regular Writing Prompts on her Horror Prompts Instagram account and I like to take part with a few snippets and pieces of flash fiction.
The Submission: As I approached the rundown carnival, my nerves started acting up. A strange vapour hung in the air, clouding the slides, the merry-go-rounds, the swinging pirate ship, making the plastic boat loom like some monstrous whale.
I wanted very much to turn and run but I knew I couldn’t. I’d lost the wager, my luck had run out, and now it was my turn to brave the once-bustling carnival, now the subject of ghost stories.
Would zombies burst from the doors of the arcade? Perhaps a giant squid lurked in the rancid river, or maybe something as simple as desperate vagrants willing to kill for some loose change.
I could hear my friends jeering as kids do, egging me on, calling me a chicken as I ventured deeper into the fog. Trash was littered everywhere; dead birds lay in the sand pit, swings creaked lazily, as I stepped into the Hall of Mirrors, where it was said no one returned.
It was too dark to see anything, even with my lighter casting an ominous orange glow. All they wanted was some proof, a token or a banner or a flyer… something to prove I’d gotten this far, but I quickly found myself lost, reflected endlessly in cracked, wared mirrors.
Panic rose from my stomach as I failed, bumping into mirror after mirror and dropping my lighter, hopelessly lost in the dark. Behind me, a shuffling… slow and lumbering. The faintest jingle of a bell… a child-like titter…
A hand, gnarled and thick and bursting from a rotting glove that had once been white, gripped my ankle and wrenched me back, screaming. The face that filled my watery eyes was that of a ghoulish, greasepaint grin; fangs salivated at my terror and eyes, black and glinted in the darkness, swallowing me whole.
What did you think to this piece? Did you submit anything for Gillian’s prompts? Have you ever written any flash fiction before? I’d love to know what you think to my snippets and writing prompts, so feel free to sign up and let me know what you think below or leave a comment on my Instagram page. You can also follow Gillian Church and Horror Prompts to take part in regular writing challenges.
Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and popular superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was first bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the true meaning of power and responsibility in Amazing Fantasy #15, published in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in numerous cartoons, live-action movies, videogames, action figures, and countless comic book titles and, following this celebration of his debut, I’ll be dedicating every Saturday of August to talk about everyone’s favourite web-head!
Story Title: “Spider-Man Versus Doctor Octopus” Published: 9 April 1963 (cover-dated July 1963) Writers: Stan Lee and Steve Ditko Artist: Steve Ditko
The Background: After achieving incredible success with the Fantastic Four, Marvel Comics editor and head writer Stan Lee sought to capitalise on this with a teenaged superhero for younger readers to identify with. Inspired by a fly climbing up his office wall, Lee created Spider-Man (emphasis on the hyphen) and turned to artist Steve Ditko to settle on the character’s final design. Although Marvel publisher Martin Goodman disliked the concept and relegated the story to the final issue of Amazing Fantasy #15, the comic was one of Marvel’s best selling titles at the time and Spider-Man’s popularity led to him getting his own solo title barely a year later. Undeniably, Spider-Man has since fought some of the greatest and most memorable villains in comicdom, with many of Spidey’s most famous being co-created by Stan Lee. Three issues into The Amazing Spider-Man, Lee dreamed up a new supervillain for the webslinger, a crazed scientist with four mechanical arms grafted to his body simply out of a desire to offer something new and randomly settling on an octopus for inspiration. Since his debut in this issue, Doctor Otto Octavius has become one of Spidey’s most notorious and formidable villains; he not only handed Spider-Man his first defeat, but formed a cabal of villains to hound the web-slinger, almost married his beloved Aunt May, and even once switched bodies with Peter to become the “Superior Spider-Man”. Doc Ock has also been a recurring villain outside of the comics, often acting as a final boss or prominent antagonist in numerous Spider-Man videogames, and being a central villain in Spider-Man cartoons, to say nothing of Alfred Molina’smuch-praised turn as the character in live-action.
The Review: “Spider-Man Versus Doctor Octopus” begins with a pretty typical night in New York City; three mooks are wheeling a giant, cast-iron safe through a warehouse and in the process of stealing the vault when they’re startled by the appearance of everyone’s friendly, neighbourhood Spider-Man! As he was prone to doing from time to time, Spider-Man startles the crooks by projecting his spider-symbol onto the wall to put the wind up them and then makes short work of the three with his incredible spider strength. As Spidey waits for New York’s finest to show up and deal with the thieves, Spidey muses about how he’s run out of real competition and longs for an opponent who can actually put up a fight against his superhuman strength, a wish that he’s soon going to regret as, at that moment on the outskirts of the city, one of his greatest foes is about to be created! The scene shifts to an atomic research centre where genius nuclear physicist Doctor Otto Octavius has made a name for himself not just through his ground-breaking research but also in the development and utilisation of a unique mechanical harness which effectively grants him four additional, robotic arms that allow him to perform experiments no other scientist could dream of from a position of complete safety. While his peers have given him the nickname “Doctor Octopus” and regard him with a mixture of awe and ridicule, Otto is concerned only with his work and, early on, already shows signs of mania as he relishes in the benefits of his arms, which have made him the master of radiation.
Doc Ock’s mechanical arms allow him to manhandle Spider-Man and seize a nuclear facility.
However, tragedy strikes the workaholic scientist when the facility randomly explodes, leaving him not only permanently brain damaged (though we have no basis for comparison between this pre-accident personality and his post-accident one as they both seem very similar) but also fuses his mechanical arms to his body from the “radiation”. When Otto awakens, he’s eager to return to his work and, when the doctors insist that he lay down and rest, assumes that they’re jealous of him and actively keeping him from his research. His desire to escape is realised by his arms, which now obey his mental commands rather than being manually operated, and he basks in his newfound physical abilities. Naturally, cantankerous Daily Bugle editor, J. Jonah Jameson, wants pictures of the injured scientist yesterday so budding freelance photographer Peter Parker heads off to get the photos no-one can as Spider-Man. However, when he crawls his way up to Otto’s room, he’s stunned to see that the scientist, now embracing his nickname of Dr. Octopus, has gone mad with power and taken a few hostages so he can whip up some experiments. Spider-Man swings in to save the day, but Doc Ock is unimpressed by his quips and spider strength and even gives the web-head the shock of his life when he snaps his webbing, overwhelms him with his many arms (bitch slapping him in the process) and tosses him from the room like he was nothing. The shock of suffering his first real, unequivocal defeat runs deep for Peter, who suffers a crisis of confidence that leaves him powerless to stop Doc Ock from returning to the atomic research centre and easily taking command of the “brain centre”, granting him untold (if vague) power.
Peter bounces back fromhis defeat to out-think and defeat his multi-armed new foe.
To demonstrate his superiority, Doctor Octopus destroys part of the facility and rebuilds it to his specifications, setting up electronic barriers and barricades to create an impenetrable fortress; though it’s unclear what his ultimate goal is, it’s enough to put the wind up “the foremost brains of the nation’s armed forces”. Stuck in a deep depression, Peter feels lost and helpless, sleepwalking his way through school and envious of Johnny Storm/The Human Torch’s powers and confidence. However, Johnny’s address to the school makes Peter realise that defeat is inevitable and that the key is to never give up, which Peter takes to heart and finds his passion once more. Ready and raring for round two, Spidey easily infiltrates Doc Ock’s fortress, dodging his many traps and hazards thanks to his superhuman reflexes and spider sense, and dodging the mad scientist’s electronic eyes long enough to use his brains not brawn to whip his own scientific solution to his multi-armed foe. Confident of his unmatched power, Doc Ock opts to attack Spider-Man directly and is impressed when the web-slinger disables two of his arms with a chemical concoction that fuses them together. However, Doc Ock remains a deadly threat thanks to his flailing arms and surprising speed so, rather than trying to fight them off or fight through them, Spidey allows himself to be lured closer to his foe and relies on his superhuman strength and durability to withstand Doc Ock’s assault and lay him out with a single, well-timed knockout punch. Relieved to have ended the threat, Spidey takes no chances and thoroughly webs the dangerous madman up for the military police to find, then drops by Johnny Storm’s hotel room to thank him for his help, leaving the flaming teenager baffled since he has no idea what Spidey’s talking about.
The Summary: Interestingly enough, “Spider-Man Versus Doctor Octopus” was actually the first Spider-Man story I ever read as a kid (or, at least, it’s the one I have any memory of reading first) and, as a result I grew up perceiving Doctor Octopus, rather than the likes of Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin, as Spider-Man’s greatest nemesis. Revisiting the story now, I’m actually surprised at how enjoyable it is; Marvel Comics from the sixties can be a bit hit and miss, bogged down by dated dialogue and traditions or full of bizarre and off-putting artwork, but “Spider-Man Versus Doctor Octopus” is actually a pretty simple and effective story that shows Spidey dealing with the shock of being so handily defeated. Though often a conflicted and heavily burdened character beneath the mask, one of Spider-Man’s greatest assets has always been his unmatched physical confidence and love of aggravating his opponents with quips and jokes so to see him overpowered, smacked about like he was nothing, and cast aside like a mere annoyance was pretty startling at the time. It’s no surprise that Peter takes the defeat to heart, and he even contemplates ending his superhero career since his confidence has been shaken so badly, and it’s only through a conveniently relatable speech from fellow superhero the Human Torch that he’s able to find the motivation to suit back up for the rematch. I also enjoyed that his solution was to use his own scientific acumen as much as his incredible spider strength to best his new foe as it’s always cathartic when the very thing his peers mock him for contributes to him defeating a supervillain.
Doc Ock’s goals may be vague, but his intelligence is more than a match for Spider-Man!
Of course, the standout of the story is Doc Ock himself and much of the story revolves around him and his mad ambitions for power. We don’t really learn anything about Doc Ock except that he’s a genius scientific mind and the accident has driven him to the point of obsessive madness; we never get a sense of who he is before the accident to compare with how it affects his mind and it’s not made clear what his endgame is in taking over the atomic research centre beyond the ambiguous threat of him having access to the strange and dangerous power of nuclear energy and radiation which was rampant in comics at the time. Radiation is such a mysterious and powerful element that it not only granted Spider-Man his powers, but also fused the mechanical arms to Otto’s body and drove him mad with the physical abilities they afford him; responding to his mental commands, the arms can extend, allow him to clamber up walls, easily manhandle his foes, and allow him to perform multiple tasks at once through sheer force of will. The arms are so versatile, dexterous, and powerful that they can even hold back Spider-Man’s superhuman strength, strike fast enough to test even his vaulted spider sense, and can break his webbing with ease. However, behind the arms, Doc Ock is simply a man; one filled with a burning desire for power and determined to prove his superiority by any means, but a man nonetheless, and nowhere is this more evident than in the ease at which Spidey punches him out once he gets close enough. Consequently, Doc Ock is a supervillain who relies on his genius, fractured intellect and his formidable arms rather than having an inherent superhuman durability, which contrasts his daunting threat with an emotional and physical vulnerability to create a villain who is visually interesting and fully capable of out-thinking and out-fighting Spider-Man.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
What are your thoughts on Doctor Octopus’s first appearance? Were you a fan of the villain and his unique powers or did you find him to be a bit shallow and ridiculous? What did you think to Spidey’s defeat and crisis of confidence and his solution to besting Doc Ock? Were you a fan of the Human Torch’s cameo or did you think it was a bit forced? What are some of your favourite Doc Ock stories and moments? How are you celebrating Spider-Man Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus, leave them below and be sure to stick around for more Spider-Man content!
Released: 13 November 1987 Director: Paul Michael Glaser Distributor: Tri-Star Pictures Budget: $27 million Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, María Conchita Alonso, Yaphet Kotto, Marvin J. McIntyre, Erland Van Lidth, Jesse Ventura, and Richard Dawson
The Plot: Following worldwide economic collapse, the United States has become a totalitarian police state whose populace is pacified by Damon Killian’s (Dawson) The Running Man, a game show where criminals fight for their lives from sadistic maniacs. After escaping prison following a frame-up, Ben Richards (Schwarzenegger) is forced to compete in the game and, in the process, assist a resistance movement in revealing the horrible truth behind The Running Man.
The Background: By 1982, Stephen King has established himself as the undisputed king of the horror novel; Carrie (King, 1974) became be a runaway success, especially after the accompanying adaptation, The Shining (ibid, 1977) became his first hardback bestseller, and The Stand (ibid, 1978), as epic as it was, proved to merely be a precursor to King’s sprawling Dark Tower series (ibid, 1982 to 2012). King also wrote a under the pseudonym Richard Bachman, both to publish more books per year and to test whether his success had been a fluke or not, and The Running Man began life as a Bachman book. The story, a dystopian thriller in a world where the economy has collapsed, was first published in 1982 and King claimed to have written it in just a week! Producer George Linder became obsessed with the book and its premise and was easily able to acquire the film rights since it wasn’t yet public knowledge that Bachman was King’s alias. After the success of The Terminator (Cameron, 1984), Arnold Schwarzenegger shot to superstardom as the premier action star in Hollywood, and screenwriter Steven DeSouza tweaked the script to accommodate the Austrian Oak, who in reality had very little in common with is literary counterpart. He also greatly expanded upon the game show aspects of the novel, but the film’s production was troubled by directors constantly dropping from the project and Schwarzenegger disapproved of Paul Michael Glaser’s filming style. With a $38.1 million box office, The Running Man was a modest financial success; reviews were somewhat mixed, with Dawson’s performance, the film’s satire, and Arnold’s range and physicality drawing praise despite the mindlessness of the action. A life-long favourite of mine, The Running Man recently gained additional exposure thanks to its accurate predictions of the future and the 2025 remake but, since today is Arnold’s birthday, this is the perfect time to revisit this fantastic, action-packed sci-fi classic.
The Review: It’s hard for me to say, since I don’t really remember all that well, but The Running Man may very well have been my first exposure to Stephen King; at the very least, it was one of my first, and it came at exactly the right time in my life since I was already a big fan of Schwarzenegger’s work from the late eighties to early nineties. The film takes places in the far-off future of around 2018 where the world has become a dystopian police state following a massive economic collapse. Censorship runs rampant and the people are controlled by the media and their governments; generally, they’re satiated by an influx of violent media, such as the life-or-death game show The Running Man, but riots and pockets of resistance continue to spring up, so the government employs more “direct methods” to quell the uprising. Ben Richards begins the film as the part of the system; he starts off as a helicopter pilot for the police force sent in alongside a group of armed officers to investigate a food riot in Bakersfield, California. Richards is aghast when his superior officers order him to open fire on the unarmed crowd and refuses to comply; for his moral stance against gunning down woman and children, he is not only overpowered and knocked out by his comrades but also framed for the ensuring slaughter, earning him infamy as “The Butcher of Bakersfield” and a stint in the Wilshire Detention Zone.
After being framed for a massacre, Richards is forced into fighting for his life on The Running Man.
After eighteen months in a harsh labour camp, his life in the hands of the government that betrayed him thanks to the explosive collar clipped around his neck, Richards has grown into a jaded man who has no time for politics or the steadily declining shithole that the world is becoming. All he cares about now is getting out and reuniting with his brother so he can flee the country, and he joins forces with William Laughlin (Kotto) and Harold Weiss (McIntyre) to stage a brawl and overthrow the armed guards long enough to deactivate the controlling mechanism for their collars and allow a mass escape. Richards remains aligned with the two, who are associates of the Resistance, long enough to have his collar removed but has no interest in getting caught up in resistance leader Mic’s (Mick Fleetwood) efforts to highjack the ICS network satellite and broadcast the true extent of the government’s deception to the unsuspecting masses. Richards is a man of action who has been burned once too often by those who only talk of changing the world; believing that no-one is willing to act on their words, he’s ready to walk away from the world but finds himself targeted by Killian, the charismatic host of The Running Man, who is so inspired by Richards’ physicality and notoriety that he employs every means at his disposal to intercept Richards as he’s trying to flee to Hawaii with the feisty Amber Mendez (Alonso), a composer for the network who Richards was forced to take hostage to keep such an arrest from happening. Initially defiant, Richards is coerced into taking part on the show when Kilian threatens to have Weiss and Laughlin take his place, only to be double-crossed when his friends are dumped into the wreckage of Los Angeles, which comprises the game zone, but his defiance is only fuelled by his desire to fight his way out of the situation and make Killian pay for his part in defaming and endangering him and his buddies.
The feisty Amber ends up competing as well when she learns that the media has been lying to the masses.
After his escape, Richards heads to the city to meet up with his brother, only to find that Edward’s apartment is now owned by Amber after he was taken away for “re-education”. Like Richards, Amber begins the film as an employee of the system; she has had some success composing songs for the ICS network, but is also hiding a few secrets of her own as she has music from the censor list and black-market clothing in her apartment. Richards uses this knowledge to effectively blackmail her into accompanying him to Hawaii, but he also requires her to go with him since, without his brother to help him, he needs her money and travel pass in order to get out of the country. Despite Richards’ massive stature and the ease at which he overpowers her, Amber is a spirited and bold young woman in her own right; she goes along with Richards’ plan, throwing insults and taunts his way wherever possible, and takes the first chance she gets to hit him in the dick and alert airport security to his presence. Like the rest of the ignorant masses, Amber fully believes that Richards is a dangerous and psychotic killer, but her opinion of him (and ICS) changes when she sees that the specifics of his arrest at the airport have been greatly exaggerated to include him having assaulted and killed airport personnel. Her suspicions raised, Amber snoops around the ICS offices and finds that the original unedited video record of the Bakersfield Massacre, but is caught in the act and thrown into the game zone after Killian besmirches her on air with scathing accusations. Although she’s absolutely in over her head, and little more than a screaming, complaining wreck when in the game zone, Amber remains an entertaining character; she constantly winds Richards up with her babbling and naïvety and actually ends up proving quite useful when Weiss has her memorise the uplink code so that Mic can hack into the network satellite. Furthermore, she’s instrumental in Richards’ name being cleared in the finale, and even learns to take care of herself, rather than constantly being saved by Richards, by the time the bulbous Dynamo (Van Lidth) tries to sexually assault her during the film’s climatic firefight.
Much to his chagrin, Richards’ allies are fixated on exposing the government.
While Richards has little interest in politics or fighting against the system, the same can’t be said of Weiss and Laughlin; Laughlin, a former schoolteacher, despairs for the state of the country’s youth as ICS run their propaganda twenty-four hours a day and brainwash them into signing up to serve as part of the violent polices state that oppresses free speech and art. Laughlin’s anger at ICS, and this situation, makes him quite a volatile character; he and Richards start a fight to distract the guards in the labour camp at the start of the film and he explodes with rage when Eddie Vatowski/Buzzsaw (Gus Rethwisch) attacks Richards out in the game zone. This despite the fact that Laughlin was somewhat suspicious of Richards; while Weiss is adamant that their musclebound ally has been framed by the government, Laughlin isn’t so sure since Richards was once a part of the same system he’s fighting against and isn’t “one of [them]” (as in, he’s not a member of the Resistance). Still, Laughlin is fiercely loyal to both his cause and his friend, which ultimately proves to be his undoing as he puts himself in harm’s way to keep Richards from being skewered by Buzzsaw’s chainsaw and ends up dead as a result. Deeply touched by his friend’s sacrifice, this is the turning point for Richards, who vows to bring the uplink code to Mic, despite his scepticism, to honour his friend. Sadly, Weiss doesn’t fare all that well either; the less physically capable of the three, he’s easily manhandled by Professor Subzero (Professor Toru Tanaka) and constantly at risk since he’s unable to simply fight his way through with brute force. Weiss remains fixated on finding the network uplink out in the game zone which, coupled with his weaker physical stature, leads to him being electrocuted to death by Dynamo. Luckily for him, he’s able to teach Amber to memorise the uplink code before he dies, which she then gives to Mic so that the Resistance can finally hack into the ICS network. Although he’s critical of Mic’s Resistance, not just because of the extent of ICS’s influence but also Mic’s use of kids like Stevie (Dweezil Zappa) in his makeshift army, Richards relishes the chance to arm up and lead them in storming The Running Man studio to broadcast the truth of ICS’s malevolent nature and end Killian’s disruptive influence over the audience.
Killian is a charismatic game show host who casually manipulates lives and the media for his ratings.
Speaking of Killian, this guy is one slimy, charismatic, and underhanded individual. Played with absolute relish by career game show host Richard Dawson, Killian is a cold-hearted showman who delights in the adulation of his rowdy audience and is focused only on increasing The Running Man’s ratings by any means necessary. Since The Running Man is “the number one show in the whole, wide world” and the most direct means by which the government can influence and control the masses, Killian wields an incredible amount of power and regularly flouts his influence by manipulating the justice department (or going directly to the President of the United States’ agent) to find viable candidates for his show and thus increase his ratings. Unimpressed with the physical stature and uncharismatic screen appeal of the potential candidates on offer, Killian uses all of his resources and influence to get approval to put Richards on the show, and then goes the extra mile by threatening his friends to force him to undergo the horrific and invasive medical treatments necessary before dumping them all into the game zone. While the protagonists desperately fight for survival out in the desolate wasteland, Killian shines as the captivating host of the show; he engages with his audience (especially his “number one fan”, Agnes McArdle (Dona Hardy)) with a flirtatious and magnetic banter, encouraging them to pick their favourite Stalker to chase after the contestants and awarding them their prizes for participating. However, Killian becomes increasingly frustrated not just by Richards’ continued victories over the Stalkers but also by his increasing popularity, which sees the masses cheering and betting on him rather than favouring the Stalkers. Luckily for Killian, he has a crack media team on hand to not only doctor video footage to incriminate his contestants but also to stage Amber and Richards’ deaths using a very early representation of CGI facial mapping after Richards vehemently turns down Killian’s offer to become a Stalker himself.
The violent and sadistic Stalkers are worshipped by the masses and famed for their brutal kills.
The Stalkers make up the primary physical threat faced by our main characters; essentially a gaggle of bloodthirsty wrestlers kept under ICS’s payroll with the specific purpose killing contestants in the most gruesome ways to pop a higher rating. Cheered and idolised by the masses, the Stalkers are more than celebrities; they’re heroes, each of which have their own dedicated fanbase and odds of winning based on their experiences on the game show, and the audience is stunned into silence to see them being offed one at a time by Richards, especially as a Stalker has never been killed before. Although Captain Freedom (Ventura) is technically the first Stalker introduced, he’s basically been reduced to being a mascot for the network, and is insulted when Killian denies him the “code of the gladiators” for his eventual fight against Richards. Consequently, Captain Freedom is denied actually participating in the show as much as he is his time to host his workout show or share his insights during the broadcast, which leaves him resentful of his employers. The first Stalker to actually enter the fray is Professor Subzero, a huge Japanese sumo wrestler who attacks our heroes with a razor-sharp hockey stick and meets his ends when Richards garrottes him with a piece of barbed wire. Buzzsaw and Dynamo enter the game as a tag team of sorts, with the chainsaw wielding Buzzsaw having the most impact of all of the antagonists thanks not just to the sadistic pleasure he derives from slicing his prey with his chainsaws but also because he kills Laughlin and is subsequently executed by Richards by having his beloved chainsaw cut through his groin. Not that Dynamo is any slouch either; he murders Weiss and makes an immediate impression with his ludicrous light-up outfit, operatic singing, and little armoured car that he tries to run down Richards with. Initially, Richards spares Dynamo’s life after he’s left helpless beneath the wreckage of his vehicle, but he is later electrocuted to death by Amber after he tries to assault her, bringing his perverse designs to an end. Finally, Killian sends in Fireball (Jim Brown) to immolate Richards and Amber but, despite the benefits afforded to him by his jetpack, his fireproof suit, and his trusty flamethrower, Fireball is easily dispatched by Richards using a road flare after a brief, tense game of cat and mouse.
The Nitty-Gritty: I’d just like to take a moment to praise the stellar work by composer Harold Faltermeyer; The Running Man’s gloriously over the top action, satirical cynicism, and dystopian world are only bolstered by a thumping synthetic beat that hits perfectly during every punch, kill, or contemplative scene. Even now, the bombastic main melody will often pop into my head and it’s just a really fun, energetic score that gets the blood pumping every time it kicks in. Considering it was made in the late-eighties, The Running Man is a startlingly accurate portrayal of modern society; not only do we have voice-activated conveniences at home that control our lights and appliances, but we have absolutely become blinded to the conflicts and politics of the wider world in favour of consuming media, and governments make no bones about using said media to control us in both subtle and explicit ways. Obviously, The Running Man favours the more explicit path for the purposes of entertainment; the prison Richards finds himself in is an absolute hellhole where the inmates are worked to death, watched over by armed, masked stormtroopers, and unable to leave lest their heads be blown off by explosive collars! Furthermore, the government is more than willing to employ lethal force to quell food riots and spin the situation in their favour by pinning such incidents on patsies like Richards. The United States government has a controlling interest in The Running Man television show, using it as a backdoor solution to eliminate political insurgents, and even those who manage to beat the game are executed offscreen but presented as heroic victors to help boost the ratings.
Schwarzenegger is never short of a cutting quip to taunt his dismembered opponents in this film.
The Running Man is filled with examples of black humour, from Killian’s laughably bad adverts for Cadre Cola (“It Hits the Spot!”) to lethal game shows like Climbing for Dollars and the price of a Coca-Cola having shot to $6, The Running Man is indicative of a biting satire regarding consumerism and media consumption that was so crucial to sci-fi classics at the time. Of course, a great deal of the film’s humour also comes from Schwarzenegger; while the Austrian Oak falters somewhat here and there with his line delivery in this one, The Running Man is chock full of some of his most amusing one-liners and character moments, from stabbing his court appointed attorney (Kenneth Lerner) in the back with a pen after he rattles off all kinds of nonsense legal mumbo-jumbo, his vow that “[he’ll] be back” to Killian (whose reply, “Only in a rerun”, isn’t to be sniffed at either) and his many quips while interacting with and after dispatching each of the Stalkers (“Hey, Christmas Tree!”, “He had to split”, and “What a hot-head!” spring instantly to mind). For me, though, the standout moment comes when Richards, enraged at the loss of his friends, turns down Killian’s request to sign up as a Stalker and promises to “ram [his fist] into [Killian’s] stomach and break [his] Goddamn spine!” Alongside Schwarzenegger’s trademark wit, we have a decent variety of action and fight scenes on offer thanks to the different Stalkers; Professor Subzero attacks the group in an enclosed ice rink, Buzzsaw and Dynamo strike out in the wasteland, and Fireball chases Richards and Amber through an abandoned building. More often that not, Richards can’t simply rely on throwing punches at his opponents as they’re pretty huge guys in their own right, heavily armed, and some wear protective armour or ride motorcycles, meaning he has to think up some creative ways to subdue them and finish them off, such as ripping out Fireball’s fuel line and tossing a flare at him and overpowering Buzzsaw to drive his chainsaw up into his crotch!
Richards storms the studio, gives Killian some karma, and becomes the unlikely face of a revolution.
Interestingly, one of the film’s more brutal fight sequences doesn’t technically involve Richards; thanks to Killian’s aide, Tony (Kurt Fuller), using digital trickery, Captain Freedom fights and kills two stand-ins to stage Amber and Richards’ deaths in order to quell the support the latter is gaining from the viewing public. Thankfully, Mic intercepts the two before Killian can have them hunted down and killed off-camera and Richards volunteers to lead the Resistance in storming The Running Man broadcast, ensuring that the film culminates in a massive firefight between the Resistance and the ICS armed guards. Thanks to being caught off-guard, the guards are picked off by Richards and the others, who help get the majority of the panicked audience to safety, and Richards is left alone with Killian after his mistreated head of security, Sven (Sven Thorsen), leaves him in the lurch. Clearly not a physical match for Richards, Killian falls back on his silver tongue and desperately pleads with the grim-faced former cop for mercy since Killian is simply trying to appease the masses with violent entertainment. However, his appeals fall on deaf ears and Richards seals him up in one of the rocket-powered pods that so violently deposits contestants into the game zone and sends the deceiving game show host careening to a fiery death. By this point, however, the truth of the Bakersfield Massacre has been revealed and Richards has won over the viewing audience for being a “bad motherfucker”, meaning that Killian’s death is celebrated across the city. With the head of the snake effectively removed, The Running Man (and the large television screen in the city centre) goes off air for, presumably, the first time ever and the film ends with a definite sense that the people have not only found a new hero to idolise in Richards but will no longer allow themselves to be so absolutely controlled by the media and the oppressive government.
The Summary: I haven’t read The Running Man, so I really can’t comment on the film’s fidelity to Stephen King’s original text, but I do have to say that I’ve always wanted to give it a read based on my affection for this adaptation. I might be blinded by nostalgia and my love for Arnold Schwarzenegger films, but I absolutely love The Running Man. It’s not completely flawless thanks to some spotty line delivery and most of the action taking place in a pretty bland, dark location, but I think it holds up surprisingly well even after all this time. It helps that it’s not an overly elaborate sci-fi tale, so there are no flying cars or complicated special effects here; it’s simply a darker, somewhat realistic representation of a possible future society that has been oppressed by an overbearing government following near-total economic collapse. The film shines in its excess of machismo; Schwarzenegger is at his most quippy here, overpowering and outmatching his beefy opponents with pun after pun and filling out his skin-tight spandex outfit wonderfully. The Stalkers might be soulless, sadistic modern-day gladiators, but they stand out thanks to being visually distinct and each having their own unique, vicious ways of attacking the contestants. Of course, the real star of the show is Richard Dawson as Killian, the two-faced game show host who is jovial and engaging in front of the cameras and a cold-hearted tyrant backstage, which makes him an impeccable mastermind for Schwarzenegger to go up against. The Running Man continues to be culturally relevant as time goes on thanks to modern day technology not being a million miles away from what’s seen in the film, and our continued obsession with meaningless gameshows, media, and increasingly violent entertainment. For me, this makes The Running Man a clever satire amidst a top-notch sci-fit action film that means it only takes on more meaning, and gets more entertaining, as you get older and appreciate all the different layers at work in what many probably write off as just another mindless Schwarzenegger flick.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
What do you think to The Running Man? How do you think the film holds up to others in the same genre and what would you rank it against Arnold’s other films? Have you read the original book and, if so, how do you think the film holds up as an adaptation? What did you think to Schwarzenegger’s many quips? Which of the Stalkers was your favourite? Are you surprised at how accurate The Running Man was at predicting the progression of society? Were you a fan of Richard Dawson’s performance? How are you celebrating Schwarzenegger’s birthday today and what is your favourite Schwarzenegger film? Whatever you think, go ahead and leave your thoughts below.
Air Date: 21 June 2023 to 29 July 2023 Director: Ali Selim Network: Disney+ Stars: Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Kingsley Ben-Adir, Don Cheadle, Emilia Clarke, Olivia Colman, and Cobie Smulders
The Background: January 1962 saw legendary duo Stan Lee and Jack Kirby introduce the Skrulls to Marvel Comics readers. This race of warmongering shape-shifters have long hounded Marvel’s heroes but are perhaps best known not just for their long-standing conflict against the Kree but also the divisiveSecret Invasion story arc (Bendis, et al, 2008 to 2009), an eight-issue story accompanied by multiple tie-ins and spin-offs that detailed a lengthy and aggressive infiltration of Earth’s mightiest heroes, Following their live-action debut in Captain Marvel(Boden, 2019), the Skrulls have appeared sporadically throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) but took centre stage in this series, which MCU head honcho Kevin Feige claimed would impact future MCU productions. The series was also produced as a means to explore the potential of Nick Fury (Jackson), a character mainly utilised in a supporting or administrative role, and evoke the atmosphere of classic Cold War/espionage thrillers (rather than load the narratives with superpowered imposters) by playing into the paranoia and distrust of the original storyline. Although Secret Invasion received heavy backlash for utilising AI for its opening title sequence, the series was praised for its darker, more mature direction; the tension and drama evoked through the narrative was equally praised, as was Jackson’s performance, though some found Secret Invasion to be a dull and tedious affair.
The Plot: Nick Fury, former director of the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division (S.H.I.E.L.D.) returns to Earth to investigate and intercept a faction of shape-shifting Skrulls who have infiltrated all aspects of human life and society.
The Review: Secret Invasion is a six-part miniseries that takes its title from the action-packed Marvel event of the same name. In many ways, the plot of this series is what I originally envisioned would permeate the MCU when Captain Marvel’s first trailer dropped. Before the movie recast the Skrulls as sympathetic refugees, I imagined we’d see an extended plot concerning their infiltration of human society throughout Marvel’s movies, however that didn’t actually happen. On the one hand, I was glad of this as plots like that annoy me for how cliché they are but, on the other hand, it’s resulted in this miniseries that takes that basic concept and significantly downplays its scope to deliver what’s actually more of a character inspection of Nick Fury than a significant shake-up of the MCU status quo. At first, though, it seems like this isn’t the case; the opening sequence of the series sees recurring MCU side character Everett Ross (Martin Freeman) pursued and killed by Talos (Mendelsohn), revealing him to have been a Skrull in disguise, and this same episode ends with frequent Avenger ally Maria Hill (Smulders) dead and Fury himself publicly blamed for her murder thanks to the actions of Skrull revolutionary Gravik (Ben-Adir). However, although Colonel James “Rhodey” Rhodes/War Machine (Cheadle) co-stars, now working as an advisor to the United States President Ritson (Dermot Mulroney), he’s the only Avenger-level inclusion in Secret Invasion, which reframes the paranoia and subterfuge of the source material into less of a colourful classic of bombastic superheroes and more of a political thriller in the same vein as Captain America: The Winter Solder(Russo and Russo, 2014) and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier(Skogland, 2021). In fact, this last comparison is startlingly apt as much of Gravik’s plot to wipe out humanity and the motivations of his Skrull loyalists is reminiscent of Karli Morgenthau (Erin Kellyman) and her Flag Smashers; the show even has a similar visual style and focus on grounded and practical explosions, again keeping things gritty and intriguing but perhaps at the cost of being a visually engaging, unique, or exciting narrative.
Nick Fury takes centre stage, showcasing a more nuance and vulnerable side to his character.
Fury returns to Earth after being absent for some time; he’s spent what’s said to be years out in deep space aboard the S.A.B.E.R. space station, working with Skrulls to establish an outer space defence network for the Earth. However, what he’s really been doing is hiding; ever since returning from the Blip, Fury is noted to have changed. His age is constantly brought up, and even he admits that the years he spent gone have caused him to lose more than a step or two; his appearance is dishevelled for most of the series, meaning it’s a thematic celebration when he visits one of his many gravesites and retrieves his iconic eye patch and coat, and much of the series focuses on exploring Fury in a way we’ve never seen before. Far from the influential spy of spies, Fury is recontextualised as a simple agent who got lucky; Talos tears into Fury, telling him that he owes his entire career to the information and assistance offered to him by the many Skrulls who agreed to act as his eyes and ears in return for a safe haven and we get to see a far more nuanced and vulnerable side to Fury. Specifically, flashbacks and de-aging effects show him in his younger days, forging an alliance with Talos and the Skrulls and even falling in love with the Skrull Varra (Charlayne Woodard), who takes the form and life of Priscilla and eventually marries him. Feeling a deep sense of obligation and respect towards the Skrulls, Fury promised to find them a new home in return for acting as his personal spy network, but was unable to deliver on this promise, infuriating Gravik and many of his followers, and therefore Fury has a personal stake in outing the Skrull infiltration since he’s largely responsible for their antagonism towards humans. Fury and Talos were united in their belief that the Skrulls would be accepted by humanity if they were willing to compromise; if they defended the Earth and kept their true selves hidden, they would be safe and able to thrive, but many came to resent having to hide themselves and joined Gravik in scheming to wipe out humankind. While Fury’s main concern is safeguarding the world, he maintains the belief that Skrulls and humans can co-exist throughout the series and constantly pleads with Gravik to end his vendetta despite how personal he makes their conflict. Ultimately, it’s a much deeper characterisation of Fury; we see him more relaxed, less authoritative, incredibly vulnerable, and relying on a handful of trusted allies to curb Gravik’s threat before it’s too late, while exploring how utterly broken he was following the Blip and his inability to prevent such a disaster.
Talos sacrifices everything to campaign for human/Skrull relations, which inspires G’iah.
One of the best aspects of Secret Invasion is the relationship between Talos and Fury; since their first adventure, the two became close friends and were united in their love of humanity and the belief that the Skrulls need to work together with humans to be accepted and safe. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of resentment between them in Fury’s absence; Talos is frustrated that Fury refuses to open up to him about his near-death experience and feels slighted that Fury would use his people to his own ends, but they maintain a begrudging mutual respect since they both know they need each other to oppose Gravik. Talos is grieving the loss of his wife, Soren (Sharon Blynn), at Gravik’s hands, his ousting from the Skrull council in favour of Gravik’s more fanatical ways, and the fracturing of his relationship with his daughter, G’iah (Clarke), who’s signed up to Gravik’s cause both to spite her father and because she resents having to hide away. Talos’s motivations in stopping Gravik are thus as multifaceted as Fury’s; his personal vendetta against Gravik sees him explode in a violent and uncharacteristic rage on more than one occasion and he’s left heartbroken and frustrated when G’iah continues to give him the cold shoulder even after she learns the truth about Gravik and his plan and decides to work against him from the inside. Talos is convinced that the Skrulls will be accepted by humanity if they prove themselves through heroic deeds, so much so that he teams up with Fury to defend President Ritson from Gravik’s attack and ends up fatally wounded as a result. Although the series initially makes it a bit unclear, this sees Talos killed before he can reconcile with G’iah and leaves Fury devastated; on the plus side, G’iah connects with Priscilla, who performs a traditional (if sadly intimate) funeral for her father and his death is enough to push G’iah into fully standing against Gravik, if only to get revenge. Spirited and forthright, G’iah is also young, brash, and quite bratty; she joins with Gravik mainly out of spite and continues to subscribe to the belief that the Skrulls deserve their own home rather than to hide amongst people who hate and fear them. However, the sheer magnitude of Gravik’s plot is enough to shake her faith in his deals, especially as he becomes more unstable; to that end, she’s forced to expose herself to Gravik’s “Super-Skrull” machine to grant herself additional superpowers to both survive his reprisals and confront him in the final.
Gravik feels slighted by Fury and, alongside his followers, is determined to destroy humanity.
Though also young and headstrong, Gravik is equally passionate and violent in his beliefs; recruited into Fury and Talos’s cause from a young age, Gravik initially carried out his orders without hesitation, killing in the name of Fury and his people in the firm belief that Fury would find them a home. However, as the years passed, the guilt and the blood on his hands mounted up, and Fury became increasingly absent, meaning bitterness and resentment took root in Gravik and turned him against all humans, but especially Fury, whom he sees as the embodiment of humankind and against whom much of his aggression is targeted. Gravik goes to great lengths to mess with Fury, having his followers impersonate people close to Fury and even assuming his form to frame him for Hill’s murder, all to show the world that this legendary figure is a fallible, untrustworthy, broken-down old man. As much as he desires power, granted to him by both the Skrull Council and Doctor Rosa Dalton’s (Katie Finneran) work in constructing his Super-Skrull machine, Gravik wishes to break Fury’s spirit, have him witness both his greatest failure and the death of his people, and then kill him for going back on his word. To facilitate this, Gravik has placed his followers in key roles within the world’s superpowers and is stoking the flames of conflict between the United States and Russia from a glorified refugee camp dubbed “New Skrullos” and sitting in a deeply irradiated area of Russia, where his people are safe from reprisals and live simple lives as farmers or take more active roles as soldiers. However, Gravik’s desire for revenge sees him place the settlement right in the line of fire and willing to sacrifice (or out-right execute) his own people to achieve victory, something many of his followers are unable to speak out against thanks to his ruthlessness and being imbued with various superpowers from his experiments. Undeniably, Gravik’s chief agent in encouraging President Ritson to strike back against Russia is Rhodey, who’s revealed to be a Skrull in disguise; an arrogant, pompous sellout, Rhodey continually dismisses Fury’s claims of a Skrull invasion and takes great pleasure in both firing him and labelling him a criminal and constantly gets in Ritson’s ear about the Russian/Skrull threat against the United States, bringing the world on the brink of annihilation simply through choice words and evidence supplied by Gravik himself. Naturally, this doesn’t end well for Rhodes; like many of the rebellious Skrulls loyal to Gravik’s cause, he’s ultimately killed to prevent this catastrophe, but Gravik’s followers are more than willing to give up their lives if it means dying as their true selves rather than pretending to be something they’re not.
The Summary: Oddly, Secret Invasion’s episodes get shorter as the series progresses, starting at around an hour and going as short as just over half an hour, indicating to me that there wasn’t as much story as other Marvel shows. Episode two was the longest at nearly an hour, while most episodes (including the finale) were less than forty minutes. Indeed, I wonder if this could’ve been a two-hour streaming film or cut down to four episodes if some of the padding, like Priscilla, was omitted. Priscilla definitely adds new layers to Fury’s character; there was never a hint that he was married or had much of a personal life before, but here we get to see his secluded home, his loving and equal relationship with Priscilla, and see him as more of a man, all masks cast aside. Naturally, their relationship isn’t perfect; Priscilla also notes a change in Fury and has even been somewhat swayed to Gravik’s cause in her husband’s absence, ultimately causing their relationship to fall apart until they reconcile in the finale. Again, this allows for a looser, less uptight characterisation for Fury but it somewhat bogs down the series; I wonder if expanding on his relationship with Hill might’ve been a better option, or perhaps spending more time developing his past with MI6 agent Sonia Falsworth (Coleman), an unnervingly polite and yet surprisingly devious ally of his who is happy to blatantly torture and murder Skrulls to get information on Gravik’s plot. Even saying that makes me wonder what the point of Falsworth really was when the show could’ve easily slotted Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) into this role to explore her vaguely defined relationship with Fury and offer to help G’iah in the finale for her own unscrupulous ends.
Themes of trust, race, and political intrigue are rife in this gritty, if small-scale, thriller.
Still, I did enjoy Fury’s characterisation here; his interactions with Talos, in particular, Priscilla, G’iah, and even Gravik show a man who’s been worn down by secrets, conflict, and bigotry and is striving to find a way for humanity to co-exist with extraterrestrial beings in a mutually beneficial way, even if it means compromises on both sides. He openly plays the race card when talking with Rhodey in an attempt to convince him to believe him, reinstate him, and take the Skrull threat seriously only to be met with hostility, and likens the Skrull’s displacement to the same persecution his people went through in the past (and even today). This adds an extra layer onto his motivations for helping the Skrulls as he feels a kinship to them, but he couldn’t help but use their unique shape-shifting powers to his benefit to ensure global security. As Talos mentions, this makes Fury quite the hypocrite since he had no problem exploiting the Skrulls for a “good” reason, making him thematically similar to Gravik, who exploits them for a “bad” reason. Rather than have the Skrull campaign against the Earth be religiously motivated and their people impersonate key superhero figures, Gravik and his followers are entrenched within the world’s governments and want to destroy humanity to claim the Earth for themselves. With a million displaced Skrulls hiding on Earth, many have every right to fear for their lives and to resent having to hide themselves, which sees those loyal to Gravik branding Talos as weak and a traitor, sentiments largely echoed by G’iah until she reluctantly comes to see how extreme Gravik’s plot has become. While Secret Invasion is built around the fundamental question of trust, there are very few Skrull reveals that surprised me or made me care; I think everyone assumed Rhodey would be a Skrull, though I wasn’t expecting Ross to be one until he showed up in the first episode, and everyone else who’s shown to be a Skrull is a new character for the show to avoid messing up the status quo, which is predictably restored in the finale when the real Rhodey and Ross are rescued by G’iah since the Skrulls conveniently need to keep their hosts alive to better maintain their façade and leech off their memories, experiences, and personalities.
Ultimately, Gravik’s plan is foiled but the Skrull presence is perceived as a nationwide threat.
On the one hand, I do like that Secret Invasion opted for a more grounded, gritty thriller story; it would be unrealistic to expect some of the MCU’s biggest names to appear and be revealed as Skrulls and the intimate nature of the narrative helps to make things more personal and raw. Car chases, explosions, and fire fights feel more visceral and real as, mostly, the series has two feet firmly on the ground if you ignore the sparing use of shape-shifting aliens. When the Skrulls do utilise their powers, or more fantastical elements like Extremis or that holographic-mask technology are employed, it’s treated as a big deal since, for the most part, we’re just following two old blokes trying to coerce or beat information out of people. However, a lot of this is done away with in the last episode; by then, G’iah has already gained additional powers from Gravik’s machine and Gravik himself uses the “Harvest” to gain the powers of all the Avengers and multiple of superpowered and alien entities to become a Super-Skrull. This means the ending comes down to a big ol’ fist fight between G’iah and Gravik and Fury and Falsworth exposing Rhodey’s true nature to the baffled and horrified President Ritson. One is an overly elaborate CGI punch-up that ends in anti-climactic fashion and the other is tense showdown that ends with the Rhodey-Skull dead because of his own hubris and President Ritson so rattled by the Skrull invasion that he openly declares war against all Skrulls, leading to a brief montage of trigger-happy bigots gunning down suspected Skrulls whether they’re innocent or not. This leads Fury and Priscilla (who reassumes her Skrull name and form) to return to S.A.B.E.R. to negotiate a peace treaty with the Kree and Falsworth offering G’iah the resources to fight back against Ritson’s campaign, essentially ending the series where it started with Fury off-world, Skrulls in hiding, and tensions high within the world’s governments. Sadly though, as much as I liked the peek into Fury’s private life and seeing him take centre stage, Secret Invasion felt like a mixed bag to me. Although Gravik’s plot is to kickstart World War Three, the stakes never felt very high and it was difficult to care when characters died as they were either expendable, had outlived their usefulness (Hill), were revealed to still be alive (Ross and Rhodey), or their deaths were strangely rushed to the point where I’m sure they’ll be revealed to be fake later (Talos). The relationship and banter between Fury and Talos was great, I enjoyed Gravik’s impassioned speeches and maniacal bent, and it’ll be interesting to see where Super-Skrull G’iah factors into the MCU going forward but this felt like a series you could easily skip over without missing anything and I’ll be surprised if it actually has any lasting impact on the MCU since it goes to such lengths to restore the status quo by the end.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
What did you think to Secret Invasion? How do you think it compares to the source material and Marvel’s other Disney+ shows? What did you think to the deeper dive into Nick Fury’s characterisation and personal life? Did you enjoy his relationship with Talos and kinship with the Skrulls? What did you think to Talos and G’iah’s resentment towards him? Were you impressed with Gravik and his plan or did you find it a bit too derivative? What did you think to what few Skrull reveals we got, and would you have preferred to see this narrative stretched out throughout the MCU rather than rushed in a miniseries? Whatever you think about Secret Invasion, feel free to drop a comment below or share your thoughts on my social media pages and don’t forget to check out my other MCU reviews across the site!
Released: 30 May 2012 Originally Released: 17 March 1994 Developer: M2 Original Developers: Ancient and SEGA Also Available For: GameCube, Mega Drive, Nintendo Wii, PC, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, SEGA Mega Drive Mini 2, Steam, Xbox One, Xbox Series S/X
The Background: Since sidescrolling beat-‘em-ups were popular in both arcades and home consoles back in the day thanks to the likes of Double Dragon (Technōs Japan, 1987) and Final Fight(Capcom, 1989), Noriyoshi Ohba and his small team of developers were smart to create the Bare Knuckle Streets of Rage series (SEGA, 1991 to 1994), which was initially exclusive to SEGA’s home consoles. Streets of Rage (ibid, 1991) was incredibly popular and highly praised, and the sequel was even more lauded for its many graphical and gameplay improvements. A bigger, even more improved third entry soon followed; originally, Streets of Rage 3 included motorcycle stages, which can still be played through hacking, and the game featured far more regional differences than its predecessors, including a reworked plot, recoloured sprites, less provocative enemy sprites, and the entire removal of a potentially offensive miniboss. Despite these alterations, Streets of Rage 3 was as highly praised as its predecessors; while the graphics and gameplay were seen as the best in the series so far, reviews did criticise the soundtrack, difficulty, and the stale nature of the franchise despite the new features. While we wouldn’t see another game for nearly thirty years, Streets of Rage 3 was re-released and ported to other consoles over the years before it, and its predecessors, were brought to the Xbox 360 as part of the SEGA Vintage Collection, with this version including modern quality of life perks like save files, a replay feature, and other bonus content.
The Plot: Following his two previous defeats, Mr. X establishes the RoboCy Corporation and begins creating robots to replace important city officials and then has his criminal syndicate place bombs all over Wood Oak City! Eager to get revenge against Mr. X for turning him into a cyborg, Doctor Gilbert Zan contacts former police officers Axel Stone and Blaze Fielding and their young ally, Eddie “Skate” Hunter, and joins them in bringing down the syndicate once and for all!
Gameplay: In keeping with the style of the series so far, Streets of Rage 3 is a sidescrolling 2D beat-‘em-up that lets players pick from one (or two, if you’re playing with a friend) of four playable characters and hit the mean streets of Wood Oak City one more time to take out a whole new batch of thugs across seven levels (referred to in-game as “Stages”). Just like last time, the game supports two-player co-op and a friend can jump in at any time, but there are now only three difficulty settings to pick from (“Easy”, “Normal”, and “Hard”). Not only that, but you won’t get to experience the full game if you play on “Easy” as the game will end at Stage 5 in this mode, meaning you need to play on at least “Normal” to have a shot at completing the whole game and even then this mode is notable harder than in the Japanese release. You can still manually set your stock of lives from the “Options” menu, however, and switch to another character after exhausting all of your lives and continues (of which you have three on “Normal”). Unlike the last two games, Streets of Rage 3 drops the time limit (with the exception of Stage 6 and the final boss), and the game is bigger and more fluid than ever. The control scheme, while fundamentally the same, has been expanded to include six-button control options, and is once again fully customisable in both the in-game menu and SEGA Vintage Collection settings. By default, A launches a combination of punches and kicks (and this can be set to rapid fire mode so you can simply hold down the button to pummel enemies), B lets you jump to hit one of three jumping attacks, and X unleashes one of two special moves to clear away groups of enemies at the cost of some health.
Characters are faster and more versatile than ever thanks to increased range of movement and combat options.
You can still perform a rear attack with A and B together (or assigning this to X, like I did) for better crowd control. You can also assign an “X Attack” (which appears to be a single, powerful attack from your combo) and you can still grab, pummel, toss, and slam enemies when you get close to them (and they can still do this to you, and can even perform co-op attacks and steal health items!) Streets of Rage 3 shakes up the roster once more; although Adam Hunter is still unplayable, he does make appearances in the game’s cutscenes, and lumbering oaf Max Thunder has been replaced by the cybernetic Zan. Axel, Blaze, Zan, and Skate continue to share the same basic attacks and controls and each again boast different skills according to five attributes (Power, Technique, Speed, Jump, and Reach). You can also see their height and weight listed in the character select screen, though I don’t think this really affects how the characters play; the other attributes certainly do, though, with Axel again being more of an all-rounder, Skate being the smallest, weakest, and fastest, and Zan having the best reach and able to zoom around on his rocket shoes but at the cost of having a shit jump and turning weapons into projectile attacks. As in the last game, each character is further separated by their different special attacks; Axel can still perform his flaming “Bare Knuckle” uppercut and spinning flaming fist, but Zan can electrocute enemies on contact and you can quickly pummel enemies with Blaze and Skate’s faster (but weaker) attacks. This time around, though, the game features a rechargeable meter; when full, your special attacks will be at their most powerful and won’t cost you any energy, and you’ll also gain a star under your life bar after accumulating high enough scores that will further power-up your special attacks. Every character can now not only dash ahead and perform a running attack (which also benefits from the star power-ups) but they can also vertically dodge out of the way with double taps of up or down, which is extremely handy when dealing with large groups of enemies.
Gameplay is given some much-needed, if frustrating, variety thanks to some timed sections.
If you’ve played either of the previous games (or any sidescrolling beat-‘em-up) then you’ll be acutely aware that your primary goal is to travel from the left side of the screen to the right dispatching enemies and smashing crates and such for objects and power-ups. Like the last game, each Stage is made up of multiple screens and areas, with transitions taking place to show characters smashing through doors or the time of day changing, and you’ll still be able to earn extra lives by adding to your score tally (with bonus points continuing to be awarded at the end of each Stage). Stages don’t seem as long as the last game, however, though each screen is longer, if that makes sense? You seem to spend more time in less screens, basically, and the game seems a little tougher this time around; I only found one 1-Up pick-up in my entire “Normal” mode playthrough and the sheer amount and variety of enemies onscreen can get a little frustrating. Enemies continue to be “shy” and linger offscreen, while also dropping down from the sky, emerging from the shadows, leaping from storage containers, hopping in from speedboats, and popping out from behind bushes to attack you, and it’s much easier to get surrounded by goons this time around. Not only that, but Streets of Rage 3 features the return of stage hazards; bottomless pits make a return in Stage 3 (though, thankfully, they’re not an instant-kill trap this time), barrels drop down from above, wind pushes you back, rising (and horizontal) platforms and elevator sections see you trapped with wave-upon-wave of enemies or tossing them to their doom, conveyor belts make movement and combat sluggish in Stage 7, and you’ll even have to dodge snare traps and laser turrets (though these can damage enemies, too). There’s actually a bit of gameplay variety thrown in here, too; not only do some Stages see you going to the left for a change, but you’ll need to smash through cinder blocks while fending off a digger machine in Stage 3, dodge hazards that fly at you along underground railroad tracks in Stage 4, and face a time limit in Stage 6. This is easily the most complex Stage in the game; you have fifty in-game seconds to clear out enemies, using an elevator to visit different floors, and destroy two control consoles before a lethal gas is emitted. If you take too long, the gas will not only whittle down your health, but cause the death of the captive police chief, Ivan Petrov, which will change the game’s ending accordingly.
Graphics and Sound: I have to say that, while I enjoyed some of the tracks featured in Streets of Rage 3, the soundtrack is probably the weakest in the trilogy; Stages are punctuated by a thumping, techno beat that is just as likely to be catchy as it is a mess of garbled noise. The links toThe Revenge of Shinobi (SEGA, 1989) continue to be found within the game, as well; while the cutscenes finally feature a unique font for the game, Revenge of Shinobi font, sound effects, and melodies are still found throughout (though, at this point, they’re probably more associated with this series of games so I can forgive it). The game’s presentation is better than ever; sprites are larger and more detailed (with Axel, Blaze, and Skate sporting new colour palettes) and enemies are more varied; while skin-heads, dominatrixes, and denim-clad goons still dog your progress, a whole bunch of new enemies are featured, each sporting a name and a health bar. Some even boast a life count of their own, which generally gives you a better indication of how tough the enemy is and how many tiers their health meter has, and weapons also sport their own health meters now and will break after consecutive use.
While the music’s a bit of a mess, the visual presentation and variety is the best in the trilogy.
The environments are the biggest, most varied, and most detailed in the series yet, however. Little touches like chains shaking when you slam enemies to the ground, day turning to dusk, cats peeking out from bins, and wind blowing lanterns and rubbish about really help to make every Stage feel alive. There’s always a lot to catch your eye on the screen, from bushes rustling to indicate the arrival of a hidden enemy, to a bustling nightclub awash in strobe lights and dancing enemies, to glasses tumbling from bars, an aquarium in the background of the Stage 2 boss fight, and even an elaborate Japanese temple in Stage 5. Stage 5 also features a recreation of the final stage of the last game, once again having you fend off enemies in a rising elevator to Mr. X’s throne room, only this time it’s at night and the fight is notably different from the last two Mr. X boss battles and the big man himself is later revealed to be a brain in a jar within an underground laboratory! Everything is so much more detailed and varied this time around, which makes for an experience that finally captures the arcade-style aesthetic the series was going for with the first game, and this is even more evident in the heavier emphasis on story. Not only is there an introductory and ending cutscene, but cutscenes will also take place during and after certain Stages, with dialogue boxes appearing onscreen and different endings being shown depending on how you beat the final Stages of the game.
Enemies and Bosses: Although long-time players of the series will be more than familiar with the vast majority of the enemies encountered in Streets of Rage 3, palette swapped variants are much more commonplace and they appear alongside some new additions to Mr. X’s syndicate. Denim-clam thugs, yellow-jacketed punks, skinheads, dominatrixes, bikers, and ninjas all make a return to charge at you with knives, slide at your shins, uppercut you out of the air, crack their whips at you, charge at you on their bikes, and flip about tossing throwing stars at you. Newcomers to the series are “Goldie” (a street thug not unlike Axel who can guard against your attacks), “Soozie” (a punk girl similar to Blaze who can pummel you with slaps and leaps at you with flying kicks), and “Zack” (a bandana-wearing goon who likes to grab you from behind). Rotund firebreathers and belly floppers like Ben Ben also make a comeback (and once again cause you damage when you try to slam them), but you’ll also contend with gun-packing Assassin Agents, jetpack-wearing Rockets, martial arts experts like Tiger, and even robotic, frog-like enemies who hop about, dash at you, fire projectiles at you, or explode and send shrapnel across the screen.
Shiva’s importance depends on which difficulty and region you’re in, though you’ll see a lot of recycled bosses.
Streets of Rage 3 dramatically reduces the amount of sub-bosses you’ll have to face compared to the last game, with only two cropping up this time around; instead, certain regular enemies will receive a palette swap and an extended life bar to act as tougher mid-Stage enemies. Bosses will rarely be accompanied by an endless slew of thugs as well, which is definitely a plus, but three of them are recycled from Streets of Rage II and you’ll notice this right away when you reach the end of Stage 1 and face off with Shiva. Downgraded from a penultimate boss to the first boss of the game, Shiva isn’t quite as difficult as in the last game but still poses a challenge as he’s got a nasty leaping kick that can catch you off-guard after you knock him down. You won’t actually face Shiva in the Japanese version of the game, though; instead, you fight Ash, a stereotypically gay character who slaps you around, dances about, and can slam you to the ground. Both Shiva and Ash can be unlocked as playable characters after defeating them and holding B until the next Stage starts, but only Shiva actually makes a reappearance in the worst ending of the game where he serves as the final boss and is given a significant power boost alongside a new attire. Similarly, you can unlock the boxing kangaroo Roo if you take out his abusive handler, Bruce, in the sub-boss fight of Stage 2, after which you’ll battle the female tag team of Mona and Lisa once more who again prove to be slippery and annoying opponents as they continuously backflip away from your attacks and leap at you with kicks. Another returning boss is Jet, though he’s given a new look; he’s accompanied by Rockets, all of whom share his ability to swoop down at you and grab and slam you, but only Jet can blast you with flames from his thrusters. While you can land combo attacks on these guys, and grab and slam them, it’s still difficult to judge which plane they are on thanks to them constantly hovering about.
There are some tough bosses to contend with so it helps to play with a friend to dish out the damage.
New bosses do appear in Streets of Rage 3, however. At the end of Stage 3, you’ll battle an exact copy of Axel; this duplicate has all of Axel’s abilities and special attacks, but changes colour and bursts into flames as you land hits and is eventually revealed to be a robot imposter upon defeat. One of the hardest bosses is Yamato, an armour-clad samurai who is actually three bosses in one. Each samurai will take it in turns to attack you, slashing across the screen with their katana, duplicating themselves, and performing a diagonal dash attack that can be hard to dodge. When you finally confront Mr. X, the game initially frames the confrontation as being exactly like in the last game but, after dispatching his goons, he’s also revealed to be a robot duplicate. Robot X dashes across the screen on rocket boots, fires at you from a wrist-mounted gun, and even shoots homing missiles at you! You’ll then encounter weaker versions of this boss as regular enemies in Stage 7, which also sees a unique boss battle as you’re placed on a vertical conveyer belt that constantly forces you towards an electrical barrier while Dr. Dahm tries to crush and electrocute you with his mechanical claw arm. While it can be tricky to land hits on this, and time your attacks to avoid being shocked, it’s nothing compared to the final encounter with Mr. X, in which his disembodied brain controls the heavily-armoured Robot Y. This hulking foe is made all the more threatening by its maniac attack patterns; it spins around the place, barely fazed by your attacks, and sports a four-tiered life bar and missiles. Not only can it shrug off your attacks and deliver big damage with its basic strikes, the bastard can even grab you out of the air and deliver a huge slam that can easily drain half your life bar. You’re also given just three in-game minutes to defeat it and get the game’s best ending, making for easily the most challenging boss battle not just in this game but in the entire trilogy.
Power-Ups and Bonuses: As ever, you’ll find a whole bunch of destructible objects in the game’s Stages for you to smash to uncover apples and roast dinners to restore your health, bags of cash and gold bars to add to your high score, and weapons to use against your enemies. Weapons are a little more diverse this time around, but also notably different; not only do they each have a life bar of their own, as stated, but some are single-use only. Knives, for example, are now thrown by default, as are grenades, though you can throw every weapon with the press of a button. You can grab kunai blades, wooden planks, lead pipes, baseball bats, and swords to attack your enemies, but be warned as enemies can also acquire (and throw) these weapons, and even steal your health items if you’re not fast enough!
Additional Features: There are four Achievements to earn in Streets of Rage 3, and two additional Achievements as part of playing all three games in the SEGA Vintage Collection. The four specific to this game require you to defeat the robot Axel as Axel, free Roo, save the Chief as Zan, and max out your special attack by acquiring three stars. As in the other two games, each of these (with the exception of the latter) are achieved by playing alone and there are no Achievements for playing alongside a friend, or finishing the game as each character, which remains a disappointment. Streets of Rage 3 has a number of endings that are dictated by your progress in the last two Stages and which difficulty you play; you won’t get Achievements for seeing all of these endings, though, and are required to just beat the game (and the other two) to earn 100G. The “Duel” mode from Streets of Rage II returns; now called “Battle”, this mode lets two players to go head-to-head as one of the four playable characters in a one-on-one fight (but, again, there are no Achievements tied to this). This version of the game comes with the same customisation options as the others, so you can set wallpapers, scan lines, and smoothing, listen to the soundtrack on the jukebox, switch between the Japanese, European, and North American versions of the game, save replays, and use save states to make things easier on yourself. Alongside the usual local and online co-op returns, you can still set a high score on the leaderboard and take on the “Trial” mode, which has you battling towards a high score on different difficulty stages against a time limit or extracting the Chief as fast as possible, with the lives you lose adding to your timer.
The Summary: The question permeating all these reviews of the Streets of Rage games is: Which is better? Streets of Rage or Final Fight? While the first game fell quite short of matching its arcade counterpart, Streets of Rage II was much closer, and Streets of Rage 3 is right up there with some of the best arcade beat-‘em-ups. Everything about the game is bigger and better than the last two, expanding upon the gameplay and presentation to offer the best Streets of Rage experience yet. Reintegrating elements from the first game, such as stage hazards, and expanding upon the gameplay by removing the time limit but offering some variety in tense sequences that see you fending off a digger or desperately fighting to save the Chief really add to the overall experience and make things less monotonous. On the flip side, and what keeps Streets of Rage 3 from earning my coveted fifth star, the music isn’t as good as in the previous games and the difficulty spike is very noticeably, making for some frustrating moments as enemies have bigger health bars and the time offered to you to complete tasks is so tight that it’s easy to fail and be left with one of the bad endings. The gameplay mechanics have never been better, however; the additional of the power gauge for specials, new control options, and impressively detailed sprite work and backgrounds make the game slick to control and endlessly visually interesting, but the recycled boss battles are a shame, especially considering how much detail was packed into every Stage. Overall, I’d say Streets of Rage 3 is easily the best of the original trilogy, and would recommend it as the go-to title to play and own; bigger, better, with more variety, some fun bonus characters, and different endings to work towards, the only thing holding it back from five stars are a few minor missteps that can make it a little too challenging an experience.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Did you enjoy Streets of Rage 3? How do you think it compares to the original, its sequels, and other beat-‘em-ups? Did you enjoy Zan’s inclusion or did you stick to a character you were more comfortable with? What did you think to the energy gauge and the recycled bosses from the last games? Have you ever gotten the game’s best ending? Which beat-‘em-up game or franchise is your favourite and why and what is it you enjoy about the genre? To share your memories of Streets of Rage3, leave a reply below or comment on my social media and be sure to check out my reviews of another classic beat-‘em-up titles.
Air Date: 29 September 2017 to 10 November 2017 UK Network: Sky One OriginalNetwork: ABC Stars: Anson Mount, Serinda Swan, Iwan Rheon, Isabelle Cornish, Ken Leung, Eme Ikwuakor, and Ellen Woglom
The Background: In 1965, the legendary duo of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby expanded upon their earlier work with the X-Men with an entire race of superpowered beings, the Inhumans, initially antagonists to Marvel’s First Family, the Fantastic Four. Brought about as a result of of Kree experimentation with “Terrigen Mist”, the incredible and often monstrous Inhumans have been at the forefront of some of Marvel’s most contentious storylines but gained a new level of infamy when the publishers unsuccessfully and bizarrely tried to have them replace the far more popular and mainstream X-Men. Development of a live-action Inhumans adaptation can be traced back to 2011 and Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) mastermind Kevin Feige initially planned for the team to feature in a big-screen movie that would expand the scope of the MCU in new directions. The first seeds of this were planted in the spin-off television show, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013 to 2020) but, while the planned movie was soon removed from Marvel’s line-up, Feige remained hopeful that the property would come to life in some form or another. This eventually came to pass in shape of an eight-episode series headed by showrunner Scott Buck, who immediately set about stripping the Inhumans of many of their more recognisable traits and making unpopular decisions regarding the tone and direction of the show. With the first two episodes airing in cinemas courtesy of IMAX, Inhumans sought to tell a more grounded family drama but was notable for both being the first television show to include an entirely CGI character and altering the character’s costumes into something far more sterile and ruining the presentation and characterisation of Inhuman Queen, Medusa (Swan). The $3.5 million IMAX gross of the debut episodes was considered a failure, but this was nothing compared to the critical mauling the series received from reviews; critics slammed the show’s execution, its lack of exciting action, and its overall presentation, though Anson Mount’s performance as Blackagar Boltagon/Black Bolt was generally praised. The failure of the show led to plans for a second season being scrapped and the Inhumans quietly disappeared from the MCU until fairly recently, and rumours of a reboot for the concept continue to circulate online.
The Plot: Having fled persecution on Earth, a group of Inhumans founded the secret settlement of Attilan on the Moon under the rule of the Inhuman Royal Family. Jealous and slighted at having never developed the same fantastic powers as his peers, Maximus (Rheon) leads an uprising that sees the Inhuman leader, Blackagar Boltagon/Black Bolt (Mount), and his Royal Family trapped on Earth and desperately fighting to return to Attilan to put a stop to Maximus’s power-hungry schemes.
The Review: Inhumans came out at a weird time in Marvel history; at this time, Marvel Comics made a conscious effort to downplay the X-Men and the Fantastic Four, splitting up and neutering both groups to try and scupper 20th Century Fox’s film franchises to force a deal where those characters could appear in the MCU. The Inhumans thus became very prominent in Marvel Comics, a decision that was met with considerable backlash not because the characters are bad, per se, but more because they were trying to replace two of Marvel’s most popular and iconic teams and they weren’t as compelling as either. I was confused by this decision, but then I’ve never been a die-hard fan of the Inhumans; for me, they’ve cropped up in numerous Fantastic Four comics and that’s about it. I’ve not read much, if any, of their adventures but I was intrigued at the announcement that they’d be getting a movie, and the attempt to incorporate the Inhumans into the MCU in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., something subtly alluded to in Inhumans as many, even random humans, are aware of the Inhumans thanks to their recent appearances after the water supply was contaminated by Terrigen Mist. Accordingly, Inhumans are actively hunted by some when they appear, mainly out of fear but also to cut them open and understand their strange powers. This perceived fear and distrust of Inhumans is made explicit right from the first scene of the show, in which a recently transformed girl (Nicola Peltz) is chased by armed soldiers and unceremoniously killed as she flees. Inhuman fishman Triton (Mike Moh) arrives to offer her safety and sanctuary in Attilan, only to fail to save her and be presumed dead, and his death is a major inciting incident in the narrative of the show.
A stoic ruler who must contain his destructive powers, Black Bolt learns to view his relationships differently.
Triton was sent to Earth on the orders of his king, the stoic and perpetually silent Black Bolt, specifically to help Earth-born Inhumans as they are remnants of those left behind after their society fled to the Moon. In a show full of questionable performances and decisions, Anson Mount is one of the highlights; while he only wears a vaguely comic-accurate costume on a couple of occasions (including a crappy little leather-like crown), he conveys a great deal of emotion and character despite being rendered silent due to the destructive nature of his voice. Black Bolt is widely believed, and continuously stated, to be the most powerful and dangerous of all the Inhumans; even the feared living weapon Mordis (Bridger Zadina) pales in comparison as the slightest whisper from Black Bolt could destroy all of Attilan. Consequently, Black Bolt is a man of intense focus; as a child, young Black Bolt (Lofton Shaw) had no interest in being king, much to the chagrin of his morally dubious parents, King Agon (Michael Buie) and Queen Rynda Boltagon (Tanya Clarke). Black Bolt was overcome with grief and feared by his people after accidentally vaporising his parents and it was only the affection of young Medusalith Amaquelin-Boltagon/Medusa (Victoria Isabella Piemonte) that gave him the motivation to master his powers within a specifically constructed chamber. Bonded in their mutual grief, as Medusa had also lost her parents, the two eventually married and became much revered rulers of Attilan, with Black Bolt gaining a reputation for safeguarding his people through a strict policy of secrecy to shield them from Earthly eyes. Due to the nature of his powers, Black Bolt communicates through stern looks, body language, a version of sign language, and relies on the adult Medusa (Swan) as an interpreter. The series is strangely reliant on this, and other characters translating Black Bolt’s “words”; I would’ve liked to see subtitles being used to avoid this as it can be a bit awkward when characters repeat what he’s signed back to him just for our benefit. Black Bolt’s sign language is also entirely unique; few others can understand his “words”, so he’s shit out of luck when his eventual arrival in downtown Honolulu causes a stir and leads to his imprisonment. Despite the fact that he could easily escape prison at any time with his voice, Black Bolt largely co-operates with his incarceration, a fact made even stranger given how quick he was to lash out when the cops tried to subdue him. Black Bolt is an Inhuman of many layers; he secretly colluded to fake Triton’s death in order to force Maximus’s hand and is openly criticised by Locus (Sumire Matsubara) for perpetuating Attilan’s caste system, which sees those with useful, beautiful powers living in luxury and everyone else being forced to toil in the Terrigen mines.
Though rude and utterly unlikeable, Medusa eventually campaigns for positive change for the Inhumans.
Indeed, despite her loyalty to Black Bolt and her love of Attilan, Medusa eventually comes to speak out against the system. When we first meet her, Medusa is the alluring right-hand woman of the king who is traumatised when Maximus kicks off his coup d’état by shaving her hair and forcing her and the rest of the royal family to flee to Oahu. Though a strong and forthright woman who’s more than capable of defending herself, Medusa’s authority is openly criticised by Maximus, with whom she has a tumultuous relationship. We’re told on many occasions that the two used to be close friends, to the point where Medusa unsuccessfully attempts to talk him into halting Attilan’s destruction in the finale, though we’re never given much insight into their past so it almost feels like it was shoe-horned in since Black Bolt can’t speak. Similarly, surprisingly little time is spent dwelling on Medusa’s relationship with her younger sister, Princess Crystal Amaquelin (Cornish); there’s a brief flashback showing Medusa comforting young Crystal (Leila Bootsma) and that Medusa’s always had responsibilities and someone to care about, and she’s later unexpectedly cool with Crystal’s friendship with young farmer Dave (Chad Buchanan). However, Medusa’s screen time is largely spent debating and contrasting with enthusiastic Louise Fisher (Woglom), a scientist from the Callisto Aerospace Control Center who teams up with Medusa after tracking the Inhumans’ arrival. While all of the Inhumans are strangely baffled by Earth, Medusa initially cares only about reuniting with Black Bolt and making Maximus pay; this leads to her having little regard for Earth customs and sees her demanding money from an ATM machine simply because of her royal status in much the same way as Black Bolt simply strolled out of a clothing shop without paying. Though used for comedic effect, this makes her seem stupid and rude; it doesn’t make sense for any of them to be this confused since we saw the Inhumans monitoring Earth, yet she just openly steals from people and is overly rude and aggressive towards Louise. Medusa forces Louise to co-operate by holding a gun on her, is constantly ungrateful and impatient and even ditches Louise once she manages to pinpoint Black Bolt’s location. They have many heated discussions about Attilan’s caste system, a system Medusa’s own parents spoke out against and were killed for trying to change; she thus initially finds idealism to be overrated but comes to be changed through her time with Louise and Locus’s eventual death, which sees her going from wanting Maximus dead to literally begging Black Bolt to set a better example. Upon learning of Black Bolt’s deception and his secret war bunker, Medusa chastises him for keeping her in the dark; her time on Earth makes her realise that she wants to have a greater say in Attilan society as his equal, not just his interpreter, though it’ll take more than a brief bit of despair over her shaved locks and her awkward attempts to learn humility to make me sympathise with such an unlikeable character.
With Karnak’s powers on the fritz, Gorgon’s more blundering nature comes in handy.
While Black Bolt blunders his way around and Medusa begrudgingly finds herself relying on Louise for help, their cousins, Karnak Mander-Azur (Leung) and Gorgon Pentragon (Ikwuakor), end up mixed up in their own side adventures. While we rarely see Black Bolt’s power and Medusa’s is forcibly stripped from her, Karnak’s unique ability to “see the flaw” in anything and predict outcomes so accurately that it’s almost as if he can see the future is a central point of his narrative as this character who always sees what’s coming takes an unforeseen tumble and hits his head, throwing his powers out of whack and making him doubt himself and his usefulness. Conversely, Gorgon is the meat-headed captain of the royal guard; his childish nature and preference to go charging head-first into any situation are a constant aggravation to Karnak and see him almost drown upon arriving on Earth and forced not only to rely on a group of surfers – including Holo (Ty Quiamboa), Makani (Kala Alexander), and Pablo (Albert Ueligitone) – for aid but also learn the value of foresight and planning, two things he normally relies on Karnak for. While this alliance is short-lived as Gorgon doesn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of his newfound friends, Karnak is irrevocably changed by his unreliable powers and the influence of Jen (Jamie Gray Hyder), a kindly Earth woman who treats his wounds and teaches him to relax. The kindest of the three cannabis farmers who initially take Karnak hostage, Jen finds Karnak alluring; she’s captivated by his tattoos and stories of Gorgon and the Moon and their relationship quickly develops into a romance. Her influence has a profound effect on him, changing him from being dismissive of sexual encounters to being appreciative of them and infusing his cold, analytical nature with a sense of compassion. While this astounds his fellow Inhumans, it also leads Karnak to making uncharacteristically rash decisions; when Gorgon is killed defending the group, Karnak openly defies Black Bolt and Medus (and strict Attilan law) to put his friend through a second Terrigenesis, a purely selfish act reunite him with his aggravating cousin and which results in Gorgon being restored to life but sporadically overcome with a mindless rage.
Crystal, like the other Inhumans, is changed by her time on Earth and encounters with humans both good and bad.
Although Crystal is the youngest of the Inhumans and rarely uses her elemental powers, she serves an important use as she’s able to have her gigantic pet dog Lockjaw instantly teleport people around. There’s a brief subplot where she’s held hostage by Maximus, who subtly threatens Lockjaw and her family unless she agrees to spread his influence across Attilan, but she easily fools him and flees to Oahu with Lockjaw to reunite with Medusa, only to end up falling in with Dave after he accidentally injures Lockjaw with his quad bike. Interestingly, when with Dave, Crystal takes on characteristics of a sheltered and spoiled princess, one who’s used to getting her way and has never been touched by a human; their relationship fulfils a dual role of teaching her not to be so uptight and showcasing that not all humans are as dangerous as she has been taught. Naturally, because they’re both young and attractive, they also end up smooching and Crystal ends the series wishing to live a normal life with this bland, if kind-hearted, young man, a decision Medusa is happy to support since she too comes to regard humans more favourably. In fact, the Inhumans find a surprising number of allies on Oahu; Gorgon just happens to fall in with a bunch of former soldiers who are not only aware of Inhumans but willingly put their lives on the line to aid him, but the standout is obviously Louise. Having lived her whole life dreaming of visiting the Moon so she can scatter her father’s ashes there, she’s captivated by Medusa and the Inhuman race but quickly comes to question their caste system and treatment of their enemies. Of course, not every human is so willing to aid them; Reno (Michael Trotter) is immediately suspicious of Karnak and tries to kill him out of jealousy, a crusade picked up by Tua (Mark Medeiros) after he murders Reno for his disloyalty. Then there’s Doctor Evan Declan (Henry Ian Cusick), a scientist conducting extensive Inhuman research on Maximus’s payroll, though he’s unaware of the truth behind his benefactor. Dr. Declan is a curious character; he aids Black Bolt, facilitating his escape from prison alongside fellow Inhuman Sammy (Olo Alailima) and agrees to help him in exchange for some blood tests. While he’s clearly been experimenting on Inhumans, he doesn’t make any aggressive moves towards them and is instead fascinated by the different physiology; his research is vital to Maximus, who plots to use it to undergo Terrigenesis for a second time and gift himself powers, and Dr. Declan seems happy to help both sides simply out of sheer scientific curiosity, which results in him being killed during Gorgon’s rampage.
Maximus has a forked tongue but leaves the dirty work to his loyal flunkies.
Though he’s firmly pigeon-holed as the antagonist of the series, Maximus is actually something of a revolutionary; carrying a lifetime of resentment towards his brother and father, Maximus is unique among the Inhumans in that Terrigenesis rendered him a mere human and he was only spared a lifetime in the mines because of his royal blood. Maximus openly and routinely criticises Black Bolt’s decisions; he fully believes that the humans will inevitably one day discover them and destroy them once they do and challenges the caste system, earning himself a small but vocal following of Inhumans wishing to rise above their allotted stations. Sporting a silver tongue and prone to elaborate monologues, Maximus seeks to twist every situation in his favour, against the ruling class, or into a veiled threat; he subtly suggests that the royal family have caused death and chaos and fled, assumes the throne in their absence, and sets about abolishing the caste system and conscripting the miners into becoming soldiers to hunt down and kill his family. While he’s no fighter, having failed to learn even basic self-defence from Gorgon, Maximus is an accomplished manipulator and politician; however, his doubters are everywhere, not just because he’s a lowly human but also because he threatens to change Inhuman society in ways that would be disruptive to the genetic council. Because of the threats, disloyalty, and political minefield of his coup, Maximus frequently manipulates Bronaja (Ari Dalbert) into sharing his prophetic visions of the future; while these can be vague, they’re enough for him to intercept a rebellion, kill insurgents and betrayers, and stay one step ahead on most occasions. When he needs more direct action, Maximus employs the services of Auran (Sonya Balmores), a cold-hearted assassin capable of regenerating, to first kill and then capture his family so that he can make better use of Dr. Declan’s research. Although fiercely loyal to Maximus, Auran comes to realise her mortality and turn away from his cause as the series progresses and is at constant odds with Mordis, an Inhuman who emits destructive energy blasts from his face. Mordis’s snarky attitude and rivalry with Auran actually lends the series some much-needed appeal and he’s a surprisingly interesting character; like Black Bolt, he has vast destructive potential, but he was simply locked up and forgotten about because he wasn’t of royal blood and would rather dramatically kill himself than be locked up again. Although Maximus states is plot is based around changing Attilan’s archaic society and allowing them to begin a new life on Earth, by force if necessary, it’s really just a cover for his selfish desire for the throne and to become Inhuman; this obsession not only saw him manipulate young Black Bolt into killing their parents but also endangers the entire city. Ultimately, though he proved to be an unstable and unfit ruler, Maximus does see his dream achieved; the Inhumans migrate to Earth to start over as equals, but Maximus doesn’t get to be a part of this as he’s sealed away in a bunker by his brother and left to rule over the remnants of Attilan alone on the Moon.
The Summary: I will say that one thing Inhumans has going for it is its Earth setting; setting the series in and around Hawaii offers a unique visual setting unlike anything seen in the MCU at the time but, in many ways, I think it might’ve been better to just set the show on Earth, with the Inhumans scattered around the globe, and do flashbacks showing their time in Attilan and have the finale take place there because, for a hidden, technologically advanced city on the Moon, Attilan is a massive disappointment. Attilan lacks the grandiose architecture and fantastical visuals of Asgard or Wakanda; everything is made of cold, grey stone, resulting in a lacklustre and cheap presentation akin to old sci-fi television serials. While this may have been a conscious choice, or dictated by the budget, it comes across as lifeless and uninspiring compared to Jack Kirby’s original artwork. I may not always be the biggest fan of his complex and colourful machinery and environments, but a least they popped on the page and impressed; nothing about Attilan impresses and it screams low budget, minimalist, and low quality, three things the MCU was and still is definitely not known for. This extends to the Terrigen Mist ceremony (which, like Attilan, is disappointingly barebones and small-scale), Callisto’s dull warehouse interiors, and the stark emptiness of Attilan’s unimpressive throne room, dining room, courtyard, and bunker. While Maximus notes that the city is small and crammed with too many people, even the streets resemble a backlot or claustrophobic set rather than a thriving cityscape and there’s little appealing or alien about Attilan. Similarly, the costume design and effects are more miss than hit; while Medusa’s hair and wig aren’t great (especially when animated) and her purple dress does her no favours, Black Bolt’s attire looks pretty good, if a bit of a half-hearted attempt to reproduce his comic book outfit. Though Karnak has simple facial tattoos, Triton has some decent enough prosthetics going on, but Gorgon’s hooves mysteriously appear and disappear with no explanation and Crystal barely showcases any of her powers. Lockjaw looks pretty good, considering he’s a massive slobbering bulldog; yes, he obviously looks quite cartoonish, and the teleport effect isn’t great, but I think that’s to be expected of such a ludicrous character and CGI effect.
Sadly, the visuals, effects, and costumes all fail to impress and just come across as cheap.
The show’s action sequences also fail to impress; thanks to the Inhumans spending most of the show scattered across Hawaii and unable to use their powers for one reason or another, we’re denied any grandiose or mind blowing spectacles and are left to rely on car chases, simple fistfights, and shootouts more often than not. Black Bolt, Medusa, and Karnark showcase a blunt efficiency in their movements, easily overpowering and besting multiple armed foes either with their hands or their hair, but these pale in comparison to action sequences seen in the likes of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., which is really saying something. Much of the heavy lifting is performed, fittingly, by Gorgon and Auran; Gorgon favours a ground-trembling foot stomp and tossing foes around with his brute strength, which is in stark contrast to Auran’s swifter, more precise fighting style and I enjoyed seeing them clash but these fights were always in boring environments and over far too quickly. Karnak’s action scenes are the most visually interesting and have so much potential; we see him engaging with foes in hypothetical scenarios and learning the most efficient way of dispatching his enemies, but his powers are on the fritz for the entire show, so we rarely get to see this or are simply treated to him being knocked out from behind. The show makes a big deal about the destructive nature of Black Bolt’s voice but we never really get to see this in action; there’s a ludicrous scene of him accidentally atomising his parents, he sends a police car flying which is strangely treating like a huge deal in a world where literal Gods walk amongst us, and he ultimately buries Maximus with a simple whisper but his powers are never showcased to the fullest extent, meaning all that build up was for nothing. Mordis offers some consolation for this, frequently blasting away with his energy beams, but we’re even denied the spectacle of a huge explosion during his and Gorgon’s death scene and, similarly, whatever potential there was in Medusa’s hair or Crystal’s elemental powers is undone simply because the plot and budget demand it, meaning these superhuman characters are more likely to hold people at gunpoint, something hardly befitting their colourful nature.
The focus on human/Inhuman relations and the budget sadly overshadows the family drama.
There’s a general theme of the Inhumans being out of their element and learning new things about themselves and humanity, but it really doesn’t make much sense; we literally see the Inhumans observing Earth and yet, when they arrive, they have no concept of money, our society, no respect for our laws, and little understanding of humans beyond them being dangerous. This results in Black Bolt looking like a complete moron when he wanders about the city and is spirited from place to place; he’s silent and alien in nature but he’s not an idiot and it’s really jarring to see him, Medusa, and Crystal suddenly act like entitled assholes when that wasn’t the case on Attilan. We never even got much of a sense that they were anything but beloved and respected monarchs; we see them freely walking among the people and going out of their way to safeguard the city, and it’s only later that we’re told about the caste system and how awful Attilan can be for those with less desirable or attractive gifts. Since he’s been genetically transformed into a lowly human and his only gift is his forked tongue and unquenchable pursuit of power and adoration, Maximus seeks to change this system, to give the lower caste a chance to shine and take what they want by force. However, perhaps again due to the budget, we see very little of this and most of Maximus’s time is spent trying to win over the genetic council before he just kills them all, being overly reliant on Bronaja’s sketchy visions, and flip-flopping on whether he wants his family dead or alive. Despite being a silent role, Mount does a good job here, but I feel like he’s not in it as much as he could be; instead, Medusa seems to have a larger role and she’s a pretty awful character, and Crystal’s performance is probably the weakest of all involved. Karnak had some interesting development but it’s robbed of a lot of its potential as we never get to see his powers (or any of their powers) showcased in a visually interesting way; we’re just told stuff about them and then they’re forced to adapt to their new situation. Maximus was clearly the standout in terms of intrigue and acting; however, while there’s a central conflict between Black Bolt and Maximus, this really should have been given more focus. While Iwan Rheon is certainly giving it his all and is almost Shakespearian in his performance, Thor Odinson (Chris Hemsworth) and Loki Laufeyson (Tom Hiddleston) they are not. They should be akin to these two, but the production and budget just doesn’t allow it, and they share very little screen time together so we’re mainly informed of their animosity and relationship through other characters, flashbacks, and their individual moments.
Whatever potential the show had was undone by a lacklustre presentation and low budget.
This is a problem faced by the entire show. The Inhumans is a concept that has the potential to be as visually interesting and grandiose as the X-Men, Thor, and the Eternals; Attilan should have been as memorable and impactful as Asgard or Wakanda but, instead, it’s just a series of dull sets. Nothing in Attilan is interesting to look at; they have fancy communicator devices but they don’t incorporate visuals or holograms so they’re useless whenever anyone calls Black Bolt, which is weird as we clearly see the do have this technology. They’re protected by an invisible shield and yet idiots like Gorgon go out and steal flags and smash rovers; they can teleport anywhere they like but only if Lockjaw is at full strength or living wall Eldrac (Moses Goods) feels like cooperating. They’re supposed to be this advanced civilisation, yet the Terrigensis chambers look like shit and they’re more likely to use guns than their powers, and their society is more primitive and backwards than ours since it’s based completely around having impressive and wonderful powers; anything else and you’re in the mines, meaning Maximus is completely right in his pursuit and our “heroes” look pretty awful. Thankfully, Maximus is an unlikeable asshole in all the right ways, so I never found myself rooting for him; but then I wasn’t rooting for the royal family, either. Instead, I was just bored. Inhumans should have been a movie, there’s no question about that; afforded a bigger budget and a two-hour runtime, we could have had something at least more pleasing to look at, if not actually enjoyable. As is, though, it comes across as being cheaper and more half-hearted than an episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.; arguably, the Inhumans were realised far better there and maybe Inhumans would’ve worked better if some its plots and characters had been woven into Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and then spun-off into a ninety-minute feature or something. Instead, what we’re left with is what basically amounts to a contractual obligation; there’s some good performances here, and I’m glad Anson Mount revisited his role later (even if he was still treated like a joke), but it’s hard to care about Inhumans when even Marvel Studios clearly didn’t give a crap about it. There’s a reason this is buried away on Disney+ and was never released on home media and you’re better off just skipping this one and watching Eternals(Zhao, 2021) instead, which really is saying a lot.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
What did you think to Inhumans? Do you agree that it’s one of the most disappointing ventures in the MCU or did you actually enjoy it? What did you think to Anson Mount and Iwan Rheon’s performances? Were you disappointed by the poor visuals, costumes, and action sequences? What did you think to the themes of the Inhumans finding humility and the depiction of their society? Are you a fan of the characters and, if so, what did you think to the show as an adaptation? How did you react to Marvel’s attempts to increase the exposure of the Inhumans at the time? Would you like to see the Inhumans return to the MCU or do you think it’s better to just ignore them? Whatever your thoughts, drop a comment below or let me know on my social media.
Published: June 2008 to January 2009 Writer: Brian Michael Bendis Artists: Leinil Francis Yu
The Background: In January 1962, legendary duo Stan Lee and Jack Kirby introduced Marvel Comics readers to the Skrulls, a race of warmongering shape-shifters who have long hounded Marvel’s heroes, particularly the Fantastic Four, by assuming their identities and powers. Experimented on by the all-mighty Celestials and launching aggressive campaigns against both the Earth and their hated enemies, the Kree, the Skrulls have been at the forefront of numerous Marvel stories over the years in addition to featuring as villains in various videogames and animated ventures before making their live-action debut, in a decidedly different manner, in Captain Marvel(Boden, 2019). Perhaps one of their most prominent storylines was the Secret Invasion arc that ran through these eight issues and multiple tie-ins and spin-offs; the brainchild of writer Brian Michael Bendis, Secret Invasion had not only been hinted at for some time and was heavily advertised as a means of changed up the perception of legacy Marvel characters and even return some to mainstream publication. Reviews of the storyline were mixed, with some noting that it was an anti-climatic Marvel event and others praising the marketing and artwork while criticising the religious undertones and spotty dialogue. Still, an adaptation of the story made its way into the Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes cartoon (2010 to 2012) and it also formed the basis of a six-episode, live-action series of the same name on Disney+.
The Review: This eight-issue event series begins “years ago” after the destruction of the Skrull throneworld, a cataclysmic, prophesied event that leads the few survivors back to their queen, Veranke, who kicks the story’s narrative in motion by seeding Skrull agents throughout our world. It took years for this to be uncovered, and it was revealed in dramatic fashion when it turned out that the resurrected assassin Elektra Natchios was a Skrull in disguise, a revelation that alerted Tony Stark/Iron Man (then the conceited and self-righteous director of the Strategic Hazard Intervention Espionage Logistics Directorate (S.H.I.E.L.D.) following the game-changing events of Civil War (Millar, et al, 2006 to 2007)) to the depths of the Skrull’s infiltration. Recognising that even his armour’s sensors can’t be trusted to identity friend from foe, Stark drafts in his allies – Doctor Reed Richards/Mister Fantastic and Doctor Henry “Hank” Pym/Yellowjacket – to perform an autopsy in an attempt to figure out how the Skrull was able to remain completely undetected to technology, magic, and Mutant probing. Conveniently enough, a Skrull ship chooses this exact moment to come crashing into Earth’s atmosphere and make landfall in the Savage Land, taking Iron Man away from the operating room so he can investigate. Concerned that this could be the full-scale invasion they fear, Jessica Drew/Spider-Woman calls in the renegade “New” Avengers (those who refused to sign up to the ludicrous Superhero Registration Act in Civil War), which leads to Luke Cage/Power Man, Peter Parker/Spider-Man, James “Logan” Howlett/Wolverine, Danny Rand/Iron Fist, Clint Barton/Ronin, and Maya Lopez/Echo subduing Black Widow/Natasha Romanova and stealing her Quinjet to beat Iron Man and his government-sanction Mighty Avengers – Iron Man, Spider-Woman, Black Widow, Carol Danvers/Ms. Marvel, Janet van Dyne/The Wasp, Ares, Simon Williams/Wonder Man, and Robert “Bob” Reynolds/The Sentry – to the crash site. Both sets of Avengers are aware of the potential Skrull threat, which drives an even greater wedge between them as not only are the Secret Avengers being actively hunted by their former comrades, but they can’t even trust each other to be who they say they are.
While the Skrulls cripple Earth’s defenses, the fractured Avengers battle their classic counterparts.
After being brought down by one of the Savage Land’s rampaging dinosaurs, the New Avengers prepare to open up the crashed ship, but they’re intercepted by the Mighty Avengers, with Iron Man immediately trying to arrest them and Luke Cage obviously telling him and his jumped-up thugs to go kick rocks. Iron Man’s attempt to keep the rogue superheroes from overstepping the mark are scuppered when Timothy “Dum Dum” Dugan and his trusted butler, Edwin Jarvis, unexpectedly sabotage not only the orbiting the Sentient World Observation and Response Department’s (S.W.O.R.D.) satellite base but also Stark’s armour and S.H.I.E.L.D.’s Helicarriers and bases, effectively disabling the armoured Avenger and crippling the superhero community’s resources and communications. Additionally, maximum security prisons the Raft and the Cube are suddenly hit by mass breakouts and Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel and Susan Storm/Invisible Woman disable the villainous Thunderbolts and the rest of the Fantastic Four, with each of these supposed heroes flashing ominous eyes and assuring their victims that “He loves [them]”. Meanwhile, a Skrull armada bares down on Earth and Mr. Fantastic finds himself reduced to an elasticated mess right as he figures out the key behind the Skrull’s newfound undetectability, the victim of a shot from Pym, who’s revealed to also be the Skrull Citri Noll! Momentarily setting aside their differences to get Tony Stark to aid, the two Avengers groups are startled when a slew of classic-styled, currently deceased or long-changed superheroes emerge from the Skrull ship; Captain Steve Rogers/Captain America, the Vision, Thor Odinson, Doctor Jean Grey/Phoenix, Doctor Henry “Hank” McCoy/The Beast, Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch, Jessica Jones/Jewel, Emma Frost/The White Queen, and Barbara “Bobbi” Morse/Mockingbird appear alongside classic versions of Spider-Man, Power Man, Wonder Man, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel, Wolverine, and the Invisible Woman. Naturally, a tense showdown ensues in which both groups assume the other are Skrulls in disguise; guys like Wolverine, Spider-Man, Emma Frost, and the Vision struggle to get any kind of reading on their counterparts beyond sensing their distrust while Ronin is stunned to see his former flame, Mockingbird, alive and well but, despite Ares trying to convince his allies that it’s a trap, tensions boil over and an all-out brawl kicks off!
As more characters enter the fray, internal distrust is as rife as the escalating war with the Skrulls.
With Stark in agony from the alien virus that’s crippled his armour, Ms. Marvel flies him to safety as the others duke it out; the two Spider-Men trade quips and punches, the Vision uses the Sentry’s fear of his destructive and malevolent alter ego, the Void, to disable his God-like power, and Ronin steals his counterpart’s weapons to subdue their attackers but the arrival of a raging Tyrannosaurus rex disrupts the fracas. Trampled to death by the dinosaur, the classic Spider-Man and Hawkeye are revealed to be Skrulls, and Wolverine intuits that the Skrulls are setting them against each other to wipe out any resistance to their invasion plan. However, when he tries to eviscerate Mockingbird, Ronin intervenes and questions her; she’s adamant that she’s not a Skrull and even reveals personal information that only she and Clint would know, which is enough to convince him to trust her. This offers Luke Cage the hope that the Cap and Iron Man aboard the ship are the real deal, which would certainly explain Stark’s recent manic behaviour and allow the recently deceased Cap to still be alive, but Wolverine’s far from convinced. Meanwhile, back in New York City, a portal opens up and a whole slew of Avengers-inspired Super-Skrulls attack; there’s Skrulls combining the powers of various X-Men, a Fantastic Four Super-Skrull, one that’s a mixture of Spider-Man villains, and even an Illuminati hybrid, meaning the Young Avengers – Eli Bradley/Patriot, Dorrek VIII/Hulkling, Billy Kaplan/Wiccan, Tommy Shepherd/Speed, Kate Bishop/Hawkeye, and their mentor, the Vision – are completely overwhelmed despite Hulkling’s efforts to talk down their attackers with his royal status. Thankfully, they receive some back-up in the timely arrival of fledgling superheroes, the Initiative – Joseph Green/Gauntlet, Rachel Leighton/Diamondback, Cassandra “Cassie” Lang/Stature, David Alleyne/Prodigy, Anthony Masters/Taskmaster, Geldoff/Proton, Z’Reg/Crusader, Jimmy Santini/Batwing, Fahnbullah Eddy/Gorilla Girl, Wallace Jackson/Red 9, Delilah Dearborn/Geiger, Melee, Andrea Roarke/Sunstreak, and Alexander Ellis/Annex. Though the Skrull forces prove ruthlessly formidable, and the Vision is lost in the battle, even more help arrives when the Secret Warriors – Colonel Nick Fury, Yo-Yo Rodriguez/Slingshot, Daisy Johnson/Quake, Alexander Aaron/Phobos, J.T. Slade/Hellfire, Jerry Sledge/Stonewall, and Sebastian Druid/Druid – add yet more names and the bodies to the chaotic artwork and conflict.
Heroes and villains set aside their differences to take the fight to the invading Skrull army.
The Skrull threat is doubled thanks to the distrust between the world’s heroes, with even Nick Fury abandoning Ms. Marvel because of her alien DNA. Meanwhile, as a weakened Stark desperately attempts to repair his armour, Spider-Woman reveals herself to be the Skrull Queen, Veranke, and tries to convince him that he’s a Skrull agent so deep undercover that he’s forgotten his true nature. Before her poison (both literal and figurative) can take hold, Black Widow causes her to flee and Stark reveals that the key to victory lies with Mr. Fantastic, who’s currently being tortured aboard a Skull ship. Thankfully, S.W.O.R.D. director Abigail Brand bluffs her way onto the ship and flushes the Skrull into space to rescue him; Reed then fashions a device that exposes the Skrulls’ real forms, arriving just in time to stop another conflict in the Savage Land and revealing not only that the classic Emma Frost, Invisible Woman, Thor, Ms. Marvel, and Jessica Jones are Skrulls but that Mockingbird is as well, enraging Clint. The real Thor transports everyone to New York for a final confrontation, which even the Watcher, Uatu, shows up to observe and also sees Parker Robbins/The Hood’s criminal syndicate and Doctor Norman Osborn’s Thunderbolts pitch in with the nearly-incomprehensible brawl. While Mr. Fantastic and Iron Man try to take out Veranke (still disguised as Spider-Woman) to demoralise the Skrulls, the Wasp targets Citri Noll, who apes Pym’s Giant-Man form, though it’s Stature and the assassin Bullseye who end up taking him out. Iron Man is forced to withdraw so he can sort out his messed-up armour, Fury’s forces save Mr. Fantastic from being torn apart by multiple Skrulls posing as the Invisible Woman, the real Jessica Jones joins the fray, and Kate Bishop ends up gravely injured amidst the chaos. Although Wolverine tries to take out Veranke, the bio-electrical powers she stole from Spider-Woman keep him at bay, meaning it’s an arrow through the face courtesy of the vengeful Ronin that ultimately subdues her.
Although the Skrulls are defeated, the general distrust in Stark allows Osborn to seize power!
With Veranke compromised, Citri Noll activates a device that causes Janet to enlarge uncontrollably and unleash a chemical agent designed to kill humanity and Skrulls alike. With no other choice available, Thor whips up a hurricane with his magical hammer, one so powerful that is destroys the enlarged Janet and dissipates the weird black spots that threaten everyone’s lives. Although Wolverine seeks to make Veranke pay for Janet’s death, it’s Norman Osborn who gets the kill shot, then Iron Man finally gets his shit together and leads an all-out assault on the remaining Skrull ships, with the now disillusioned and leaderless armada being easy pickings. Iron Man also frees everyone the Skrulls impersonated since the shape-shifters conveniently needed the original versions alive in order to make the deception more convincing, meaning Elektra and Mockingbird return to “life”, Reed is finally reunited with his family, and the true versions of the likes of Spider-Woman re-join society. Unfortunately, this also means that Jessica Jones left her and Luke’s baby, Danielle Cage, in the care of the Skrull-Jarvis, a plot thread left unresolved in this story. Although recent tensions are eased in the aftermath and ensuing celebration, there’s an unshakable sense of hesitation given how long the Skrulls had been a part of Earth’s society and superhero community; Thor also condemns Stark’s recent actions and refuses to associate with him. Thanks to having publicly executed Veranke, Osborn is able to manipulate the President of the United States into equally losing faith in Stark, his methods, and his technology; the President thus ousts Stark as director of S.H.I.E.L.D. and names Osborn as the new overseer of any and all superhuman and defensive measures under a new organisation, H.A.M.M.E.R., unaware that this is exactly the opportunity the scheming madman and his Cabal of allies (Emma Frost, Doctor Victor Von Doom/Dr. Doom, The Hood, Prince Namor McKenzie/The Sub-Mariner, and Lady Loki) were waiting for.
The Summary: Now, I am by no means an expert on the Skrulls; I know of them, primarily as an antagonistic, shape-shifting race of aliens who are almost constantly at war with the Kree and getting into scuffles with the Fantastic Four, but they’re generally on the periphery of most Marvel stories I’ve read. Secret Invasion is probably, to date, their most prominent story, at least in my experience, and it definitely adds some nuance to them that I didn’t expect. Normally, I see them as a warmongering race who live to conquer through both subterfuge and force but, here, they’re motivated by a fanatical devotion to their God (the “He” they keep referring to) and their invasion is seen almost as divine intervention. The Skrulls swamp television screens with their pseudo-religious propaganda, hijacking every telecommunications device across the globe and assuming the guise of various political figures, celebrities, and superpowered monarchs like Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto and Dr. Doom, and insist that they’re there to bring glory to our world and that their might cannot be opposed. Given the strength of their invasion and that their Super-Skrulls have mimicked the combined powers of many of Marvel’s heroes, it’s perhaps not surprising that Marvel’s ridiculously fickle citizens embrace their alien overlords, though this scene showcases that the Skrulls aren’t simply defending themselves or there to usher in a new age for mankind as they claim and are hell-bent on conquering the planet.
Having lost everything, the Skrulls throw themselves at Earth with fanatical desperation.
This campaign is spearheaded by their queen, Veranke, a figure of worship for the Skrulls and who has placed herself on the frontline, earning the trust of Tony Stark by posing as Spider-Woman and becoming privy to many of Earth’s defences. Stark even reflects on his role in the invasion and the shame he feels about not recognising the threat sooner in a show of guilt that was somewhat uncharacteristic of him at this time; this is a man who was so blinded by his belief that superhumans needed to register with the government that he actively fought and imprisoned his fellow heroes and abandoned many of them, and his morals, in favour of an uncompromising, borderline fascist mentality that only led to further conflict and resentment Indeed, Veranke revels in the irony of having twisted Earth’s technology and heroes towards her agenda, something she was easily able to do thanks to Stark being so dead-set about forcing or punishing his peers to register their true identities and powers. However, as much as Veranke likes to preach that hers is a Holy mission, she’s actually equally motivated out of revenge, specifically against Mr. Fantastic and the Fantastic Four after they tricked a contingent of Skrulls into believing they were cows decades prior. Since the Skrull home world has been lost and their once-prosperous empire lies in ruins, the Skrulls follow her without question and throw everything they have at Earth; they’re even willing to give their lives in the process, and in a last-ditch effort of mutually assured destruction, only to be defeated and left dejected. Veranke’s death leaves the Skrulls directionless and all their once-formidable might is as nothing; those that survive are left demoralised as they saw this as their last chance at survival and glory. Thus, Veranke’s quest for vengeance and conquest leaves her people devastated and more worse off than ever as a sizable portion of their armada is destroyed and the last thing they had in all the universe, their faith, is also shattered by their defeat.
The Skrulls are so deeply entrenched that the already frayed heroes are strained to breaking point.
I’m generally not a fan of imposter storylines; it’s a tired cliché and one that quickly outstays its welcome, but it actually works quite well in Secret Invasion. Many of the Skrulls seem to be completely unaware of their true nature; the Mockingbird-Skrull believes that she’s the real deal right up until the end and is begging Clint to listen to her even as he attacks her in a rage. This is also true of Captain Marvel, who believed so strongly that he was the deceased former hero that he couldn’t bring himself to kill and was convinced by Norman Osborn, of all people, to turn on his race; he even died begging the Kree warrior Noh-Varr/Marvel Boy to carry on the fight in his stead, so complete was his conditioning. It’s not revealed exactly how the Skrulls have the memories they do but it’s one of the big reasons why so many of them went undetected; however, many of the Skrulls posing as classic Avengers continued to believe they were the real deal after their true nature was revealed rather than immediately attacking the heroes in service of their God, which definitely paints much of this conflict in a morally grey area. The Skrulls pick the perfect time to strike the Earth; its heroes are divided and at war with each other and easy to manipulate, and seeing the return of dead heroes like Captain America, Mockingbird, and Captain Marvel, as well as the original version of Iron Man, only fuelled the flames of conflict between them thanks to Stark’s actions during Civil War leading to many deaths, including Captain America’s. It would’ve been so easy to explain away Stark’s recent actions as being the work of the Skrulls but, interestingly, that doesn’t turn out to be the case and, similarly, Cap’s death isn’t immediately undone with the presence of his classic counterpart. Instead, we’re left with a world where Stark is still shouldering the burden of his actions and where Cap’s mantle has been taken up by his friend, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes; there are no quick-fixes in this story to explain away the events of Civil War and there isn’t really a sense that bridges have been mended by the end of it as distrust is still rife and the status quo remains unchanged.
A decent story with some interesting wrinkles but a bit overstuffed and manic at times.
Ultimately, I quite enjoyed this story; it’s hard to read as an eight-issue standalone as you need some knowledge of prior Marvel events, especially Civil War, and it’s clear that there’s a lot of additional story and conflict in supplementary collections and books, but the narrative works just as well if you only read these eight issues. I enjoyed seeing the Mighty and New Avengers be forced to set aside their differences when faced with their classic counterparts and the reveals of which characters were Skrulls, even if none of the major players were aliens in disguise. The quasi-religious bent to the Skrull invasion was an interesting twist, as was them siphoning and combining the powers of Marvel heroes into an army of Super-Skrulls, and the art was pretty consistent and easy to follow throughout. Unfortunately, the biggest issue I had with Secret Invasion was the sheer number of characters jammed into it; it was hard to keep track of it all at times and it’s obvious that teams like the Young Avengers, Thunderbolts, and Secret Warriors all had bigger parts to play in spin-off stories, but I think they could’ve been downplayed a little here. There’s a Skrull-Galactus with absolutely no context or consequence to the story and even Uatu shows up, which is generally a short-hand to indicate that the events are of cosmic importance but, again, it doesn’t actually factor into the story in a meaningful way. Stark spends most of the arc out of action thanks to the Skrull virus messing up his armour, which is great for leaving him vulnerable and in pain and unable to participate in the wider conflict but then he just shows up in an older armour with a throwaway line for the finale. Similarly, Thor just pops in out of nowhere, formally prominent characters like Wolverine and Spider-Man get lost in the shuffle, and late appearances from Jessica Jones and Norman Osborn are simply there to set up the next big Marvel events and stories. Overall, it was pretty enjoyable and not as much of a mess as some Marvel events, but the action got a little too chaotic at times and there were too many characters wedged into these issues, which I think would’ve been far stronger if they’d focused on, say, eight or ten main characters and then just showcased the others in supplementary materials.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Did you enjoy Secret Invasion? Were you shocked to find out which characters were Skrulls in disguise? Were you hoping that some of the classic Avengers would turn out to be the real heroes? Which of the teams featured was your favourite? Did you think there were too many teams and characters in the story and which of the spin-off books did you enjoy? What did you think to Veranke, the pseudo-religious slant to the Skrulls, and the Skrull invasion? Were you also frustrated by Tony Stark’s characterisation during this time, or did you enjoy seeing Marvel’s heroes in dispute? What are some of your favourite Skrull-centric stories? Whatever your thoughts on Secret Invasion, feel free to share them below or leave your thoughts on my social media.
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