Author: Dr. K

Game Corner [F4iday]: Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (Xbox 360)

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In November 1961, Marvel Comics readers witnessed four intrepid explorers be forever changed by mysterious cosmic rays. Marvel’s “First Family” of superheroes were the first of many colourful superheroes for Marvel Comics and are more than deserving of some attention today.

Released: 15 June 2007
Developer: Visual Concepts
Also Available For: Nintendo DS, Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3

The Background:
Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s family of dysfunctional superheroes finally made it to the big screen in 2005 after a chaotic journey; their 1994 movie was never released, but Fantastic 4 (Story, 2005) was a modest box office success despite mixed reviews and earned itself a sequel in 2007. Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (ibid, 2007) was also a somewhat lacklustre critical and commercial release that led to a disastrous reboot some eight years later, but it did result in another rare standalone Fantastic Four videogame being released. This was, of course, at the peak of the time when every single cinema release was accompanied by a hastily created videogame tie-in, but the Fantastic Four have had a couple of videogame adaptations in the past, the first being an obscure and obtuse text-and-image based adventure and the second being a universally derided brawler. While the Fantastic 4 videogame tie-in was published by Activision and received slightly-above-average reviews, Rise of the Silver Surfer was published by 2K Games, with this version being developed by Visual Concepts, a studio more known for their sports tie-ins, and its marketing was built around the four-player co-op, destructible environments, and “Fusion Attack System”. Sadly, the best this adaptation could hope for was mixed reviews, if that; the game was widely regarded as being another disappointingly cheap, repetitive, tie-in that failed to offer anything engaging or unique for gamers to get to grips with.

The Plot:
World-renowned superheroes and scientists the Fantastic Four find their lives interrupted when an extraterrestrial dubbed the “Silver Surfer” causes havoc with their powers and revives their old nemesis, Victor Von Doom/Doctor Doom, all while preparing the world for consumption by a cosmic being known only as “Galactus”.

Gameplay:
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is a third-person, team-based brawler in which players pick from each member of the titular team (Doctor Reed Richards/Mister Fantastic, Doctor Susan Storm/The Invisible Girl, Johnny Storm/The Human Torch, and Ben Grimm/The Thing) and battle through six distinct levels ripped both from the movie the game is based on and the original source material. The game supports up to four players in simultaneous co-operative play, and players can jump in at any time to assume control a character, but a single player is more than capable of playing through the game without any difficulties thanks to a relatively competent partner A.I. and the ability to switch between the characters using the directional pad. While each character has their own superpowers that give them slightly different playstyles, they share the same basic control commands: A and X allow pull off weak and strong attacks, respectively, and you can string these button inputs together to perform simple combo attacks, Y allows you to jump (and you can do jumping attacks, naturally), while B unleashes an “area attack” or is used to grab and use objects. The Left Bumper allows you to block incoming attacks, while the Right Bumper lets you change your team’s tactics; tapping it will cycle through commands like aggressive and defensive and holding it will see your teammates form up on your current position.

Each member of the team has different attacks and special moves according to their powers.

Not only does each character have different attack animations (with the Thing favouring slow, strong punches and the Invisible Girl pulling off roundhouse kicks and spinning attacks, for example), they also have their own unique superpowers that slightly change how they play and affords them different capabilities in combat or puzzle solving. You can perform these by holding the Right Trigger and pressing A, B, X, or Y but doing so will drain your “Cosmic Meter” and you’ll need to either give this a few seconds to refill or collect “Cosmic Orbs” from downed enemies or smashed crates. Reed Richards is elastic, giving him decent reach by default but this also allows him to perform a “Periscope Punch” to hit switches or control boxes that are high up on walls or ceilings, slip through laser traps with his stretchy evade, slingshot enemies across the arena, or toss a grenade to send enemies flying. Sue can fade from sight, allowing her to temporarily slip past enemies and security cameras undetected, but she can also (oddly) use “telekinesis” to move and hurl enemies and certain objects, toss energy discs for a ranged attack, erect a shield that protects her and anyone in it, and can redirect light beams to melt crystals and solve puzzles. Johnny is the Human Torch, so naturally he bursts into flame whenever he uses his powers; this allows him to fly over energy barriers (effectively making him the only character with a double jump), toss fireballs, scorch enemies with a flamethrower attack, and protect himself with a wall of flame. The Thing just loves to fight, so he gets a super useful ground pound (seriously, I spammed this move over and over), a powerful shoulder charge, can cover himself in a temporary protective aura, and can pick up objects the others can’t (like cars and lampposts) and swing or hurl them at enemies. There are times when a specific character’s ability is required to progress, such as using the Thing to smash through boulders or Mr. Fantastic to deactivate switches, and these are marked by a silver 4 symbol and you’ll often find yourself needing to switch between a few different characters to lower barriers and open doors so you can progress.

Combine the Four’s powers or use their unique abilities to get past barriers and other obstacles.

All these super powers, in addition to some other basic, overall stats, can be upgraded at the cost of the coins dropped by enemies or found when smashing the environment, and the Fantastic Four can also combine attacks by holding down the Left Trigger and pressing the corresponding face button when close by to pull off a super-powerful, super draining “Fusion Attack” that allows for fun combinations of their abilities, like filling up Sue’s forcefield with fire to effectively create a bomb and tossing Reed’s rubbery body at enemies. While you’ll need to collect health orbs to restore your health, characters will only be temporarily knocked out if their health is completely drained; you can’t revive them, but they’ll recover after a few seconds and re-join the fight, but it is easy to get overwhelmed and see some, or all, of your team mates knocked out, leaving you frantically running around avoiding damage until they spawn back in. The game is pretty generous with its checkpoints, but that’s probably because its levels are soooo long; levels stretch on forever and consist of multiple areas, separated by lifts and doors and barriers or other obstacles you either have to activate, ride, or break through with the Fantastic Four’s powers. It’s not long before you’ve seen most of what the game has to offer, however; cave-ins need clearing with the Thing, barriers need flying over or passing through with the Human Torch and the Invisible Girl, respectively, and laser traps need stretching through with Mr. Fantastic. Often, you’ll need to activate consoles to lower lifts or open doors, or smash control boxes to disable turrets; sometimes, you’ll need to power up generators using Johnny’s fireballs, use Sue’s telekinesis to bring floating transports closer, or avoid getting too trigger happy and risk taking damage from explosive barrels.

Occasionally, you’ll need to use a solo hero to progress past obstacles or chase down the Silver Surfer.

Easily the most frustrating puzzles are found in the Himalayas, where you’ll need to smack around spherical rocks or move weird crystals to redirect light and open new ways to progress. It can be tricky figuring out which crystals to move and to where, and you’ll often have to use Sue’s shield to bounce light beams to crystals, all to ring bells so you can move on to the next area. Occasionally, you’ll control a character for a solo mission; Reed must use his evade to get through laser traps on a Russian space station, taking out turrets and enemies as he goes, while Ben gets locked into a fighting arena for a brief period. Johnny gets the majority of these sections, however, as he’s tasked with flying down rock tunnels, through the city streets and underground, blasting enemies or pursuing the Silver Surfer. These can be quite fun as you boost along with A and toss fireballs with X, dodging traffic and other hazards, but both of these abilities are tied to your Cosmic Meter, which can severely hamper you, though it’s not exactly difficult to keep up with the Surfer and pass the mission successfully. By far the worst section of all of these, and the entire game, was guiding Sue through a heavily guarded military base. This means using your invisibility to slip past security cameras and trigger-happy robots, while also destroying turrets and awkwardly using her telekinesis to smash control panels to lower barriers. There are no checkpoints in this poor attempt at a stealth section so it can be extremely frustrating to slip past the robots and turrets (which absolutely barrage you with laser fire if they spot you) and finally reach the control panel, only to fail right before the exit because you were surprised by another robot or ran out of juice for your superpowers.

Graphics and Sound:
To be fair, the in-game graphics of Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer aren’t all that bad. Bland as all hell, for sure, but not that bad. Each character is modelled pretty closely to their live-action counterparts and feels very different to control, with the Thing being slower and heavier and the Human Torch being slipperier and more agile. When left idle, they’ll offer commentary and, honestly, I was pleasantly surprised by their banter and voice work; so often these tie-in games feature stilted, phoned-in performances, but there’s actually a lot of fun and fitting dialogue here that’s sometimes more interesting than what we saw in the movies. Sadly, this praise doesn’t extend to the pre-rendered cutscenes, which are a plasticy, ugly mess that continues this generation’s tendency to render characters as though they were action figures. The music is equally not much to shout about, being comprised of generic tunes and samples from the film’s soundtrack. The game also has very little to do with the move it’s based on; the Silver Surfer barely shows up, Galactus is mentioned but never seen, and the focus is more on enemies from the group’s comic books and Dr. Doom.

While the dialogue is okay and character models work well, environments can be a bit bland.

On the one hand, this means we get to explore far more diverse locations than we ever saw in the live-action movies; you’ll venture into a lava-filled cavern where the shapeshifting Skrulls have taken root and onto a very dark, steampunk-like Russian space station to battle against Doctor Ivan Kragoff/The Red Ghost and his genetically enhanced Super-Apes. The game does recreate some locations from the movie as well, however, specifically Sue and Reed’s rooftop wedding venue, the streets of New York City, and the military base where the Silver Surfer is held captive (although it’s vastly different from the film version, featuring electrical barriers and robotic sentries). The game also takes the team to the crystal caves and misty clifftops of the Himalayas where they have to fight off rock monsters and to the streets of Shanghai for a final showdown with Dr. Doom, and every environment features a lot of destructible elements for you to smash your way through. Unfortunately, they’re also painfully linear, so much so that the game doesn’t even provide you with a mini map or radar; despite this, it can be easy to get a little turned around as some locations are so dark and similar that it’s easy to get lost and the game gives you no indication when you’re heading in the wrong direction or where you need to go if you miss that an elevator lowered just offscreen or a door opened one screen back. Compounding matters is just how long levels are; they just go on and on, making each section a chore to play through and really stunting your motivation to tackle the game’s harder “Fantastic” mode.

Enemies and Bosses:
The Fantastic Four will wade through a number of nameless, faceless, disposable grunts as they race to track down the Silver Surfer. However, while the enemies you face in each location are visually distinct, they share many traits that quickly make them very dull and predictable, no matter how fantastical or faithful they are to the source material. You’ll fight off Skrulls, weird silvery alien…things, chicken-like robots and hovering drones, Doombots, rock monsters, and Super-Apes, many of whom can block your attacks, attack up close or from afar with pistols or missiles, or who come in larger variants that can tank your attacks. Many enemies can be picked up and thrown, and you’ll often get to hurl them off bridges or cliff edges to their immediate death, so I recommend doing this whenever possible to help with crowd control. The larger Skrull variant swings a large pillar at you while a gaggle of annoying, regular Skrulls swarm around you, but it can be useful to pummel him with Johnny’s fireballs from a safe distance. Larger rock monsters also dog your progress in the crystal caves, but the Thing is more than capable of smashing them and their smaller cousins to pieces, especially if you’ve upgraded his ground pound attack. You’ll first encounter the massively annoying turrets when on the Red Ghost’s space station; these can be destroyed with your attacks if you can get close to them, but it’s generally easier, faster, and safer to disable them by activating or destroying a nearby control box. Finally, heavily armed robots and Doombots await you in the military base and the streets of Shanghai; these are much tougher than other enemies and sport cheap long-ranged attacks, so it’s advisable to have upgraded some of your stats and abilities to help even the playing field.

Until you face Cosmic Doom, most bosses follow a simple rinse-and-repeat strategy.

When you eventually make it to the end of each location, you’ll generally have to face off with a boss. The first is Kl’rt/The Super-Skrull who sports the Fantastic Four’s powers, allowing him to perform a ground pound like the Thing and disappear from the battlefield like the Invisible Girl. Protected by an endless swam of regular Skrulls, the only way to damage the Super-Skrull is by throwing enemies or your projectiles into the huge spherical shield generator in the centre of the room; once it’s overloaded, the Super-Skrull will be stunned and be left open to your attacks, and you’ll need to repeat this tactic over and over, tediously waiting for him to reappear while fending off the endless enemies. After fighting through the strangely deserted streets of New York City, you’ll come across a large, spiked alien craft that sucks up cars and launches them at you while sending you flying with its annoying laser beam. You can throw cars back at it, and your other projectiles, to damage it, but it’s easy to get stun-locked into an annoying cycle from its projectiles. You won’t actually fight the Red Ghost, however; instead, you simply pursue him down a hallway, fending off his Super-Apes and turrets, making for a decidedly anticlimactic ending to a largely frustrating level. Similarly, you won’t battle the Silver Surfer; instead, you fight off his minions and chase after him as Johnny, first through a subway tunnel and then through an underpass, avoiding trains, traffic, and low-hanging signs and his energy-draining trail. You will, however, battle another of Galactus’s heralds, Terrax the Tamer, in the Himalayas; this massive rock-like being tosses his huge axe across the arena, which is really difficult to avoid and can leave you knocked on your ass for some time. Even worse is the fact that you have to contend with a never-ending gaggle of rock monsters and complete those annoying light puzzles to stun him so you can damage him, making this easily the most annoying and tedious boss battle in the game. Larger mechs (very much akin to All-Terrain Scout Transport (AT-ST) walkers) await in the military base, but they’re easily bypassed with your upgraded abilities, though Dr. Doom is a far more aggravating enemy. Having stolen the Silver Surfer’s near-limitless Power Cosmic, Dr. Doom flies about raining energy bolts down and the only way to damage him is to activate a nearby power generator and blast him out of the sky but, even then he can absorb and dish out a great deal of punishment, to say nothing of his massive electrical area attack, shield, and ability to shrug off your attacks. Your best bet here (and in all of these boss battles) is to quickly cycle between each character and spam your Fusion Attack, retreating to safety, when necessary, until he finally goes down.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Unfortunately, there aren’t any temporary power-ups to find in Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Smash all the crates and boulders and what-not you like and all you’ll uncover are health and energy restoring orbs, coins, and the odd collectible. You should still smash everything you see, however, and let those coins fly into you as you’ll need them to power-up the characters and their superpowers; everything from their attack, defence, recovery and meter regeneration time to the cost, range, and impact of their individual abilities can be upgraded at the cost of these coins. Unfortunately, the cost increases as you spend, meaning you’ll need to farm and replay areas to collect all the coins you need, so you can either power characters up a little bit to make things easier to save them all up and blow them on fully upgrading a single character…or put yourself through the agony of a second playthrough.

Additional Features:
There are nineteen Achievements to earn in Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer, with nine poppin simply for clearing each level and defeating their bosses. Oddly, there are no Achievements for playing with other players or anything fun (like, I dunno…destroying Reed and Sue’s wedding venue) or tedious (like defeating 100+ enemies). You’ll get an Achievement for beating the game on both “Normal” and the harder “Fantastic” mode, one for performing a single Fusion Attack, one for upgrading every character, and three more for finding every collectible and unlocking all the bonus content. Bonus content is unlocked by finding Fantastic 4 symbols and destroying Dr. Doom’s tiny, barely noticeable spybots; doing so will unlock cinematics, comic covers, concept art, and four alternative costumes that come with extra perks (like increasing your attack or defence by default), which is a nice touch. Once you beat the game, you can access a level select and the game restarts with all your upgrades intact, but I suspect you have to start a whole new game from the ground up if you choose a different difficulty mode. As I had no desire to play this game once I’d finished it and unlocked as many Achievements as I could, I can’t speak to that, but you could try playing with a friend or two to see if that helps improve the experience.

The Summary:
I had low expectations for Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer; I’d not really heard much about it except the usual vague chatter about how it was another tedious, cheap tie-in to a big budget movie and, unfortunately, I can’t argue with that. Fundamentally, it’s not really that insulting; the titular foursome are all represented pretty well, even if I favoured the Human Torch and the Thing (but that’s just personal preference on my part), with some fun superpowers to experiment with using the Fusion System. I get why you’d tie this to a regenerating meter, but it drains so quickly that you’ll be relying on the lacklustre combo strings more than anything. The dialogue and expansion on the movie’s story are also quite enjoyable and the game tries to show some new and visually interesting areas, but it never quite capitalises on any of the mechanics it includes beyond the bog-standard brawling. It’s fun chasing around as the Human Torch, but these sections are very brief and don’t ask much of you than to spam A or X as often as possible and avoid obstacles, and don’t even get me started on Sue’s God-awful “stealth” section. What really drags this game down, though, is just how long and boring the levels are and the lack of replayability; the unlockable costumes are pretty good (and it’s nice to see more than one included for a change) but I really don’t think anyone will be excited to slog through this on the harder difficulty or grind to upgrade and unlock everything as it’s such a time-consuming and monotonous experience. The bosses are also a massive let down and the game misses opportunities to have you recreate scenes from the film; like, why not shorten a couple of the levels and put in a forest mission where you need to activate those generators to bring down the Silver Surfer? Or, better yet, why not include a Silver Surfer auto-racer/shooter for the climax where you fend off Galactus’s attack? Instead, we get a very rushed and cobbled together, uninspiring brawler that’s only worth a playthrough to increase your Gamer Score with some relatively simple Achievements.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer? Did you enjoy the Fusion Attacks and the variety of superpowers on offer? What did you think to the levels and boss battles, and were there any elements from the movie you felt were missing from the game? Did you ever unlock everything in this game? Would you like to see another, better Fantastic Four videogame some day? How have you been celebrating the debut of Marvel’s First Family this month? Whatever you think, sign up to share your thoughts on Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer in the comments below.

Back Issues [Wolvie Wednesday]: Wolverine #1-4

Dr. K1 Comment

When readers were first introduced to the character of James Howlett, better known by the names “Logan” and “Wolverine”, it was in the pages of The Incredible Hulk. From his first full debut in issue 181 all the way back in November 1974 to him officially joining the X-Men in 1975, the character has become one of Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and enduring superheroes, regularly featuring in solo and team comics, cartoons, movies, videogames, and countless other merchandise.

Writer: Chris Claremont – Artist: Frank Miller

Story Title: “I’m Wolverine!”
Published: 1 June 1982 (cover-dated September 1982)

Story Title: “Debts and Obligations”
Published: 29 June 1982 (cover-dated October 1982)

Story Title: “Loss”
Published: 3 August 1982 (cover-dated November 1982)

Story Title: “Honor”
Published: 31 August 1982 (cover-dated December 1982)

The Background:
In 1974, Roy Thomas, editor-in-chief at Marvel Comics, tasked writer Len Wein with creating the first Canadian superhero; a short, feisty adventurer named “Wolverine” who would be as scrappy and fearsome as his namesake. Though the legendary John Romita Sr came up with the original concept art for Wolverine and his now-iconic retractable claws, it was artist Herb Trimbe who put the finishing touches to the character’s design. In what would become a staple for Wolverine for decades, Wolverine’s past and true identity was initially quite the mystery; yet, despite claims that Wolverine was originally conceived to be a mutated wolverine cub, Wein insisted this was false and that Wolverine was always intended to be a Mutant. These days, Wolverine is established as one of Marvel’s most popular characters thanks not only to him joining the X-Men a year after his debut but also the success of his first solo miniseries courtesy of X-Men scribe Chris Claremont and legendary comic book artist Frank Miller. Largely regarded as one of Marvel’s best miniseries, Claremont and Miller’s work helped to define many of Wolverine’s now recognisable character traits, from his time in Japan, his knack for brutality, and his iconic no-nonsense attitude. The popularity of the miniseries led to an ongoing solo book from 1988 but it’s not hyperbole to say that Wolverine probably wouldn’t be as big of a star as he is today without this influential four-issue series, which would come to inform the character’s later adaptations into films, cartoons, and videogames.

The Review:
Wolverine’s first solo outing begins within him freeclimbing his way through the Rocky Mountains, back in his home soil in Canada, on “business”; as he explains in his blunt and characteristically glib dialogue boxes, he’s “the best there is at what [he] does. But what [he] does isn’t very nice”, which may very well be the first instance of him saying this iconic catchphrase. He’s there to track, hunt, and kill a ferocious grizzly bear that’s been slaughtering locals as they venture onto the mountain; thanks to his heightened senses, Adamantium laced skeleton, and innate ability to tackle even a berserker grizzly bear head-on, Wolverine easily challenges, dismembers, and kills the beast with a minimum of fuss but he’s not happy about it. Not only does he recognise that the bear is simply being true to his nature, but he also spots an illegal poison-barbed arrow in the dead beast’s back, evidence of a hunter landing a hit on the bear but not sticking around to finish it off and thus driving it into a frenzy. With seven men, three women, and five kids dead as a result, Wolverine tracks the foolish hunter to a bar some fifty-seven miles away and confronts him; riled up, the hunter picks a fight, much to Wolverine’s pleasure. Though we don’t see what Wolverine does to the man, he assures the reader that he let the hunter live…and that the bear put up a better fight. He makes sure the hunter pays for his actions in a court of law and prepares to head home to the X-Men when he spots a pile of letters on his doorstep; they’ve all been returned, unopened, from an old flame of his: Mariko Yashida, the daughter of one of the oldest and most respected families in Japan. Although the Japanese embassy tells him that Mariko was called back to Japan, her home line hangs up on him, so Wolverine takes the next flight to Japan and meets up with an old contact of his, Asano Kimura, who informs him that Mariko’s long-lost father recently returned and reclaimed his position at the head of the Yashida clan and family, thus forcing Mariko to marry.

Wolverine dishonours himself trying to fight for his love’s freedom.

Despite the fact that Mariko was obligated by ages-old traditions of duty and honour, and Asano warning Wolverine off, Logan lets his anger and emotions overrule his common sense, dons his brown and yellow outfit, and forces his way into the Yashida ancestral stronghold and confront Mariko even though Asano may be legally obligated to hunt him down as a result. After easily bypassing Yashida’s near-feral guard dogs, Wolverine scales the main tower and conveniently comes across Mariko standing beneath a gigantic, ostentatious Buddha statue; Mariko tries to brush him off, citing the same explanations of duty and honour, and even accuses him of shaming her, but he’s enraged to find her face bruised. However, Mariko calms his rage and even admits that she loves him, but is bound to the will of her father, who promised her hand to another to pay a debt. When Mariko’s abusive husband, Noburu-Hideki, interrupts, Wolverine is ready to gut him on the spot, but allows Mariko to talk him out of it, only to be briefly rendered unconscious by a barrage of poisoned shuriken. Thanks to his superhuman healing factor, Wolverine recovers and is confronted by Mariko’s father, Lord Shingen, who brands him a gaijin (a derogatory term for an outsider) and chastises his arrogance. Deeming the X-Man unworthy, Lord Shingen challenges Logan to fight for Mariko’s affection with wooden swords (bokken, here referred to as “Bokan”). Although Lord Shingen is an old man, Logan is still feeling the effects of his poisoning and is out of practice with a sword; Lord Shingen also specifically targets nerve clusters and pressure points to cause maximum pain and rile him up to the point where he abandons his toy weapon and attacks with his claws, dishonouring himself before his beloved. Despite now having a lethal edge, Wolverine never gets the chance to land a mortal or killing blow; Lord Shingen’s skill half-cripples him and leaves him abandoned, beaten and humiliated, on the bustling streets of Tokyo.

Yukio manipulates Wolverine to drive him from Mariko and into her bed.

Naturally, Logan’s immediately set upon by punks and soon drawn into an all-out ambush with the highly skilled ninjas known as the Hand by the mysterious Yukio. The Hand have the superior numbers, and even wound Yukio, but Wolverine’s Mutant abilities and enhanced bones give him the edge and he leaves them all dead. Yukio is astounded by his regenerative abilities, which she would use to destroy the Hand, a supposedly peerless ninja clan commanded by a ruthless and powerful crime lord. Due to their shared killer instinct, things quickly get heated between them, but Wolverine can’t shake the image of Mariko and walks away, much to Yukio’s despair. An interlude sees her storm into Lord Shingen’s office, revealing he hired her to win Wolverine’s trust and lure him into a two-pronged attack that will see both Logan and Lord Shingen’s rival, Katsuyori, dead at Yukio’s hand. Although Wolverine notices Yukio’s changed demeanour, a half-veiled version of the truth is enough to convince him to accompany her in confronting Katsuyori at a theatre performance. Although Logan hesitates when he sees Mariko in the crowd, he leaps into action when the actors try to assassinate the Yashidas. While Wolverine cuts his way through the ninjas, driven berserk by their attack, Yukio takes out Katsuyori with a car bomb and is delighted when Mariko expresses shock and even fear at witnessing Wolverine’s bloodthirsty berserker rage. In the aftermath, Wolverine takes solace in alcohol, Yukio’s affections, and in a random brawl, but rebukes Asano’s pleas to assist in combating the recently united Japanese underworld. After narrowly avoiding being splattered by a bullet train simply so Yukio can get a sadistic thrill, Wolverine passes out and is tormented by dreams of his lost love. While he sleeps, Yukio is accosted by the Hand, who demand she redeem herself by cutting out Logan’s heart, but she opts to fight them off instead; however, when she tries to rouse him, she’s enraged when he speaks Mariko’s name and leaves him to his stupor, cursing her foolishness for believing he could ever love anyone but Mariko.

After a bloody conflict, Logan finds himself victorious and betrothed to his beloved Mariko.

By the time Logan returns to their apartment, he’s dismayed to find Asano dead at Yukio’s hand. Finally, realising Yukio’s deception, he chases her across the rooftops of neon-drenched Tokyo and prepares to eviscerate her, regardless of their kinship, but is suddenly ensnared by roped arrows fired by the Hand. Angered at ignoring his instincts, Wolverine makes short work of the ninjas but Yukio slips away in the chaos. Determined to prove that he’s a man, rather than some mindless beast, Wolverine systematically disrupts Lord Shingen’s operation, angering the crime lord and forcing him into a rematch. After being captured, Yukio is given the chance to kill Lord Shingen in a desperate attempt to win back Wolverine’s affection after killing Asano, but she’s hopelessly outmatched compared by Lord Shingen’s strength, speed, and skill. Ultimately, she partially redeems herself when she frees Mariko from Noburu-Hideki’s abuse; unable to forgive her for Asano’s death, or repay her for saving Mariko, Wolverine simply allows her to leave so he can face Lord Shingen one-on-one. This time, Lord Shingen grabs a Muramasa katana to see if Logan is truly worthy and they engage in blood combat largely bereft of dialogue or sound effects. Although Wolverine gets impaled on Lord Shingen’s sword, this allows him to close the gap between them and end the crime lord’s life by stabbing him through the face and head with his claws (something kept off-panel but clearly implied by the artwork). Mariko is stunned by the sight; duty and honour, the two driving forces behind her entire life and unwanted marriage, dictate that she avenge her father’s death yet, despite being able to stop her and kill her even with his wounds, Wolverine chooses to do nothing. However, Mariko delivers a soliloquy about how her father’s actions brought shame to the Yashida clan; she bequeaths the sword to Wolverine and dubs him worthy not just of the blade but of the clan and her heart. Wolverine’s dialogue reveals that Marko fully planned to kill her father herself, and then commit ritualistic suicide, had Logan not emerged the victor, and the two recuperate in the mountains before sending a most unexpected invitation to their wedding to the X-Men!

The Summary:
I’m reasonably familiar with Frank Miller; I’ve read his work on Batman, Daredevil, RoboCop, and some of his original work, like 300 and Sin City and, as a rule, I’m not always his biggest fan. His writing is repetitive and atrocious most of the time, often to the point of self-parody, and his art can be ridiculously simplistic and childish in a lot of his work. Thankfully, that isn’t the case here; not only is he kept away from the script but his art is coherent and impressive, while still making great use of shadows, silhouettes, and panel positioning in a way that makes some of his later work look amateurish in comparison. The result is a very different presentation and atmosphere to the story, one decidedly at odds with the more colourful X-Men and deeply entrenched in the gritty, grounded, and realistic. The only ludicrous things happening in this miniseries are Wolverine’s status as a Mutant and the sheer number of Hand ninjas; no other Mutants appear, save for a brief cameo by the X-Men, and Wolverine opts to wear his darker, more serious costume rather than his bright yellow and blue X-Men outfit. The dialogue and writing are also far more mature than in your regular X-Men comic to take a deeper dive into Wolverine’s brutal nature, and that means getting a sense of his self-loathing, his acceptance of his animalistic side, and that he’s a well-travelled, highly experienced fighter and killer with a chequered past that we’re only just scraping the surface of.

Logan’s tumultuous love life is a primary element of this four-issue solo run.

This is explicit in the depiction of Wolverine’s relationship to Lady Mariko; while we don’t really get much sense of how they first met and their previous relationship here, it’s clear that Logan cares deeply for her (he describes her as the woman he loves on more than one occasion, to the point where he not only flies all the way to Japan to check on her but willingly dishonours himself by interjecting himself into her current situation. For her part, Mariko obviously loves Logan as well but it’s clear she’s torn; tradition, honour, and duty mean she must do as her father commands, even if it means enduring a loveless and abusive relationship, yet she also chastises Wolverine for his tardiness and for trying to force her out of her duties when he should know that she cannot disobey her father without bringing disgrace and shame upon her family. Submissive and unable to defy her father, Mariko even shuns Wolverine and his efforts to help, and is shocked by his berserker rage since, apparently, she’s never seen that side of him, hinting that she may not know him as completely as she claims. Yukio, on the other hand, is like Logan’s mirror opposite; like him, she’s a killer at heart, highly skilled, and delights in showcasing her skills through combat and death-defying situations. In this way, they’re naturally attracted to each other and make for a well-oiled unit yet, despite the passionate spark between them, Wolverine longs for the pure, innocent love he feels towards Mariko. As ever, Wolverine is torn between his animal instincts and his desire to rise above them and Mariko represents a chance for him to lay down his arms, so to speak, and have a normal life away from bloodshed and combat, and he’ll fight and kill whoever he has to just to see her happy, whether it’s with him or not.

The miniseries is a violent deep-dive into Wolverine’s complex character.

This is startlingly brought to life throughout the miniseries; it’s not often that Marvel Comics were so explicitly violent back then but there’s a fair amount of blood, death, and injury throughout Wolverine’s first solo run. Even better, this is still at a time when Wolverine wasn’t some nigh-invincible force; it’s stated repeatedly that his Mutant abilities and Adamantium skeleton mean he can endure a great deal of punishment and heal from virtually any wound, yet he’s still slowed by injury, poison, and is hurt or knocked out from attacks. Lord Shingen bests him with an ease that, these days, would never be heard of and even random mooks draw blood by piercing him with arrows or blasting him in the nose. Wolverine is almost constantly receiving deep cuts and injuries throughout the mini, which keeps things grounded and levels the playing field for his opponents. More often than not, he gives as good as he gets and leaves an incalculable number of bodies in his wake, but it takes a toll and he still needs to recover rather than his body instantly sewing itself back together so he can tank through his fights. Similarly, he’s susceptible to alcohol, stumbling about and even passing out from over drinking, and significantly weakened by Yukio’s poisons, which leave him as vulnerable to Lord Shingen’s precise and measured attacks as his heartache over Mariko. Still, his keen senses and abilities (both superhuman and artificial) make him a fearsome and formidable individual; the driving force here is the question of worthiness. Wolverine knows that he can never truly be worthy of Mariko since he’s both a killer and a gaijin, yet he fights for her regardless; he eschews tradition and respect to ensure her safety and happiness and is even willing to dishonour himself in her eyes even it means she can be free. Ultimately, she chooses to see the best in him and offer a glimpse of the happiness that’s long eluded him, and it’s easy to see why this four-issue run is so well-regarded as so much of Wolverine’s character, his motivation and the dichotomy of his personality, were established here to portray him as a fiercely loyal and driven individual, but one surrounded by death and tragedy and his own feral nature, all of which he must constantly battle to overcome to be the lesser of two evils.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

What are your thoughts on Wolverine’s first solo run? Did you enjoy seeing him battling ninjas in Japan? What did you think to Wolverine’s depiction and characterisation here? Were you surprised at how vulnerable he was and the greater insight into his personality? What did you think to Mariko and Yukio and which of the two do you think is a better fit for Wolverine? Were you a fan of Claremont and Miller’s work with the character? How are you celebrating Wolverine’s debut this month? Whatever you think about this four-issue run, or Wolverine in general, leave a comment below or on my social media.

Back Issues: Ms. Marvel #1 (1976)

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Story Title: “This Woman, This Warrior!”
Published: 5 October 1976 (cover-dated January 1977)
Writer: Gerry Conway
Artist: John Buscema

The Background:
In 1953, DC Comics sued Fawcett Comics for breach of copyright over a claim that their superpowered champion, Billy Batson/Captain Marvel, was too similar to Clark Kent/Superman, and Fawcett ceased publishing Captain Marvel comics. The trademark to the name “Captain Marvel” subsequently lapsed and, fittingly, Marvel Comics snapped it up for themselves in 1967 and began putting out regular Captain Marvel titles to retain the copyright. Originally debuting as a superpowered Kree warrior named Mar-Vell, Captain Marvel was created by Stan Lee and Gene Colan and would swap place with perennial sidekick Rock Jones using the cosmic “Nega-bands”. Mar-Vell’s stories weren’t much of a priority at Marvel, however, and, when sales flagged, Jim Starlin famously penned one of the more impactful (and surprisingly permanent) comic book deaths by having the character die from cancer in 1982. To maintain their copyright, Marvel had Mar-Vell’s legacy live on through a number of successors; one of whom, Carol Danvers, was a supporting character in Mar-Vell’s life before gaining her own superpowers. It would be over four decades before Carol assumed the mantle of Captain Marvel, however; instead, she spent a chunk of her superhero career known as Ms. Marvel, during which time she joined the Avengers and was involved in a pretty disgusting sexual assault story amongst other storylines. Widely considered to be one of Marvel’s top-tier female superheroes, Carol has since cemented her legacy by being portrayed as the de facto Captain Marvel in cartoons, videogames, and the unstoppable juggernaut that is the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

The Review:
Ms. Marvel swoops into action right from the word “Go!” in her “Fabulous First Issue!”, coming onto the scene of a particularly violent bank robbery occurring in broad daylight. The thieves, who are all wearing stockings over their heads, dismiss Ms. Marvel as merely “Some dame in a costume!” but soon realise she’s so much more than that; not only can she fly with ease and grace but she’s more than capable of punching out one of the crooks and making mincemeat of their getaway car by lifting it over her head and smashing it to the ground. The remaining thief tries to get the drop on her, but Ms. Marvel’s handy-dandy “seventh sense” warns her of the danger and allows her to knock the mook out with a huge haymaker. However, thieves weren’t acting alone; instead, they were muscle for the unstable superpowered villain Mac Gargan/The Scorpion, who easily takes care of the bank’s one inept guard with his formidable tail and sneaks out the back with his loot. Although the gaggle of bystanders are initially awestruck by Ms. Marvel, they soon showcase their fickle and cynical nature and, when the cops arrive to arrest the crooks, they immediately try to run in Ms. Marvel as well, though she’s easily able to evade them by taking to the air. The story then jumps over to the offices of the Daily Bugle, where cantankerous editor J. Jonah Jameson catches wind of Ms. Marvel and hits upon the idea of writing an expose on her for a new female-orientated magazine he’s creatively titled Woman.

Ms. Marvel and Carol Danvers immediately assert themselves, while Scorpion seeks to avenge himself.

He pitches the idea to Carol Danvers, though his motives are geared more towards degrading women with articles about diets and fashion and continuing his slander of superheroes with stories on New York City’s latest colourful crimefighter. Carol agrees and forcefully negotiates a weekly pay cheque of $30,000 (which seems high for a weekly salary so I assume this is actually her annual earnings); she also refuses to go along with his plan for the magazine, thereby showing more backbone than long-suffering photographer Peter Parker/Spider-Man ever would. Speaking of which, Peter just happens to be passing by with his girlfriend, Mary Jane Watson/M. J., who’s a fan of Carol’s work and stops to bend her ear. Carol takes M. J. back to her apartment, but she suffers a bout of nausea shortly after stating that she left behind her job as a security consultant at Cape Kennedy after failing to capture Captain Marvel. Meanwhile, the Scorpion makes it across town to the hidden, booby-trapped laboratory of his latest client, Professor Kerwin Korman, a former armourer for villainous groups like Hydra, who hands Gargan the keys to his lab and all its technology in return for the cash he stole. The Scorpion goes and knocks Jameson out cold in the middle of the day as part of his lifelong mission to avenge himself against his former employer since it was Jameson who trapped Gargan in his elaborate scorpion-themed armour. Although alerted to Jameson’s kidnapping by her seventh sense (which apparently extends to some form of clairvoyance), Ms. Marvel is too late to save him, so she flies over to the Daily Bugle to focus her vaguely-defined mental powers. Although the police and staff interrupt her, she gets a mental image of where the Scorpion has taken Jameson but is left rattled by the familiarity of the newspaper offices and when asked for her name.

Ms. Marvel is victorious, but both she and Carol remain unaware of their dual life.

Ms. Marvel heads over to the brownstone she saw in her mind’s eye, where the Scorpion begins lowering Jameson into a vat of acid as recompense for ruining his life. Pushing aside her concerns and her unprovoked belief that she’s a Kree warrior, Ms. Marvel overcomes Korman’s high-tech defensive systems. Facing certain death, Jameson momentarily sets aside his anti-superhero bias to beg for his life, and the ensuring brawl with the Scorpion triggers Ms. Marvel’s memories of Captain Marvel and the Kree race. The Scorpion refuses to believe Ms. Marvel’s claims and angrily lashes out, believing that she’s trying to intimidate him with a false alien lineage and durability, but her powers cannot be denied. In the melee, she not only easily manhandles the villain but also exposits how she’s suffering from amnesia and blackouts and cannot explain her past, powers, or origin, though she exhibits the strength necessary to hurl the Scorpion into his own acid and send him fleeing. Relieved at making the connection between her powers and costume to Captain Marvel, Ms. Marvel amusingly refuses to free the grouchy Jameson and takes the name Ms. Marvel for herself. Slighted, Jameson orders Carol to write a slanderous exposé on the costumed avenger; she agrees, but slyly, and heads to her fancy new office to mull over the situation. There, she ponders the blackout spells she’s been having, the significance of the name Ms. Marvel, and the mystery that is her own life, showing absolutely no knowledge of the fact that they are one and the same.

The Summary:
I was a little hesitant going into “This Woman, This Warrior!”; if there’s one thing that irks me about reviewing comic books from back in this era, it’s the characterisation and treatment of women, who are generally seen as lovelorn bimbos or dismissed as being insignificant compared to their masculine overlords. Thankfully, the story primarily has such sexist attitudes strictly restricted to derogatory remarks from anti-social crooks and the always condescending blowhard J. Jonah Jameson. Still, while his views of women may be way off the mark, at least he has the foresight to even publish a female-centric magazine and hire a woman to edit the publication, especially as he could easily just do the job himself and print whatever drivel he wanted. The aim of this story is clearly to establish that Ms. Marvel isn’t some air-headed dame; she exhibits flight, super strength, and a weird sixth sense-like ability that means she easily overpowers a regular man and tanks even the Scorpion’s best shots, so there’s no question that she’s to be taken lightly. Even more importantly, both she and her alter ego are portrayed as strong, independent, and successful women; Carol has a nice apartment, is backed by an impressive reputation, and not only negotiates an amazing salary for herself but is awarded a swanky office to go with her position.

The story went in a different direction that has you wondering what’s going on with Carol…

The only weakness either character shows is the nagging concerns about their blackouts and memory loss. Indeed, I wasn’t expecting that the story would portray the two as being unaware of their dual identity or background, which created a bit of intrigue even though the story makes it pretty obvious that the two are one and the same. I imagine anyone who had been keeping up with Captain Marvel’s adventures would find it odd that Carol had undergone such a personality shift, but also that they’d be able to piece together that her references to the Kree, her powers, and her costume clearly have been inherited from or at least have something to do with Mar-Vell. It’s the distraction of her amnesia and confusion regarding Mar-Vell that allow the Scorpion to briefly get the upper hand in their fight, thereby forcing Ms. Marvel to get her shit together to win the day. It would’ve been so easy to just have Spider-Man come swinging in to save her but, instead, we get a pretty decent moment of affirmation and self-realisation as Ms. Marvel is empowered by her legacy and uses that conviction to overpower the Scorpion. The Scorpion is generally a bit of a low-level threat but he has enough personality, presence, and backstory to work well here; he’s always trying to get back at Jameson and previous stories have showcased that he’s quite physically formidable and this familiarity makes it all the more impressive when Ms. Marvel beats him. in the end, “This Woman, This Warrior!” was an interesting story; clearly the truth behind what happened to Carol and gave her the powers and memories of Captain Marvel is revealed in a later story but there was enough here to keep me engaged and I gained a deeper insight and appreciation for the live-action adaptations of the character by reading this story.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What did you think to Ms. Marvel’s debut story? Did you read it when it was first published and, if so, what was your reaction to Carol’s newfound abilities? What did you think to Ms. Marvel’s portrayal and powers? Did her defeat of the Scorpion impress you or would you have preferred to see her tangle with a different foe? Which Captain Marvel is your favourite and what are some of your favourite Captain Marvel stories? Whatever your thoughts on Captain Marvel, go ahead and share them below or leave a comment on my social media and be sure to check out my other Captain Marvel content!

Wrestling Recap: Benoit vs. Sabu / Scorpio (November to Remember ’94)

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The Date: 5 November 1994
The Venue: ECW Arena; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
The Commentary: Joey Styles
The Referee: Freddie Gilbert
The Stakes: ECW Death Match between rivals / impromptu singles match

The Build-Up:
Back when the then-World Wrestling Federation (WWF) and World Championship Wrestling (WCW) were going head-to-head in a heated ratings war, Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) found a way to stand out from the “Big Boys” with their extreme brand of sports entertainment. Originally known as Eastern Championship Wrestling, ECW was re-branded by one of wrestling’s greatest minds, managers, and promoters, Paul Heyman, and came to be known for its violent and controversial matches and content, which was instrumental in inspiring the WWF’s “Attitude Era”. ECW also offered a stage for some of wrestling’s most talented technicians and luchadores and allowed future wrestling stars and Hall of Famers to hone their characters and craft. By 1994, ECW had developed a cult following with the rabid Philadelphia crowd at the ECW Arena, though they were still a few years away from airing their first pay-per-view, Barely Legal; instead, ECW hosted supercard events such as this one from the ECW Arena. Although November to Remember 1994 featured “The Franchise” Shane Douglas defending his ECW World Heavyweight Championship against Ron Simmons, the main event went to their “Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death–Defying Maniac”, Sabu, and former Pegasus Kid, Chris Benoit, after they previously battling to a count out on an episode of ECW Hardcore TV earlier in October. Aside from the greater controversy surrounding any Benoit match, which I’ll touch upon later, this match also gained infamy after a botched suplex saw Sabu suffer a broken neck, earning Benoit the nickname “The Crippler” and Sabu a reputation was one of wrestling’s toughest competitors.

The Match:
Although I’ve never had much history with ECW beyond what I’ve seen from their competitors in other promotions, I’m always interested to take a look back at what they were up to while the big guns duked it out over ratings and haemorrhaged money trying to put their competition out of business. Some of my favourite wrestlers got their start in ECW and, arguably, peaked while in the Land of the Extreme, and one of my favourite wrestlers when I started getting into the sport was Chris Benoit. He wasn’t the biggest guy or the most charismatic, but he was scarily intense in the ring and had a sadistic edge that made him seem so dangerous at the time. I, like many, fully bought him as an under-rated and under-appreciated talent and was pleased as anything by his ascension to the main event, but of course it’s extremely difficult to separate the man’s work from his horrendous final hours so it can be a bit tough to rewatch his matches. Still, this is one of his most notorious bouts so I wanted to get into it to get an understanding of how Benoit built an aura around his character following this match, and it’s very surreal to see him so young, and sporting a mullet!

A botched suplex broke Sabu’s neck and caused a brawl to break out to distract the audience.

Benoit was very anxious to get things underway at the beginning of the match; luckily for him, Sabu didn’t waste any time and went right at him, a decision that proved disastrous as Sabu ended up feeling the brunt of Benoit’s attack. A knee to the gut and a suplex over the ropes dropped Sabu, who was still recovering from three broken ribs, and then the match took a sudden and unexpected turn. Benoit hooked Sabu up into a kind of T-Bone Suplex and launched him into the air, but Sabu rotated awkwardly and came crashing down right on his neck! Sabu was able to roll out of the ring but it was pretty clear that he was badly hurt from the move as the referee and Paul Heyman frantically checked on him. Benoit played to the crowd and tried to keep the show going as best he could, something helped by Sabu’s cohort, 911, challenging him so Sabu could get medical attention. Benoit refused 911’s challenge since he didn’t sign a contract to fight him but eventually jumped him from behind to get some cheap shots in. 911 planted him with a chokeslam, however, and got the three count…though the bell didn’t ring so I’m not sure how official it was…The ECW Tag Team Champions, Public Enemy, then rushed the big man with baseball bats to keep him away from Benoit, then the rest of the ECW locker room rushed the ring for a massive brawl to take the attention away from the clearly injured Sabu.

Benoit and Scorpio battled to a no contest to try and salvage to show.

Eventually, Joey Styles declared that Benoit was the winner of the match by default since Sabu was unable to continue. Benoit then mocked Sabu on the mic, earning the ire of 2 Cold Scorpio and resulting in an impromptu match between the two. Benoit took Scorpio down with a clothesline and hit a huge powerbomb for a two count; a snap suplex followed but Benoit was floored after Scorpio ducked under a chop and hit a crescent kick. This was enough for Benoit, who took a powder to allow his Public Enemy buddies to jump Scorpio, only for them to be taken down by Scorpio’s martial arts skills. As the ECW locker room surrounded the ring, Benoit took control once again with a back elbow and a beautiful superplex for a near fall. Frustrated, Benoit sat Scorpio back on the top rope and tried for an avalanche back suplex only for Scorpio to counter it into a pinning predicament for a two count. The double-underhook suplex also earned Scorpio a two count, as did a really clumsy looking and potentially dangerous victory roll from the top rope (that was almost like a reverse Frankensteiner, of sorts). Shrugging off a side kick, Benoit took the action to the outside and smashed Scorpio’s face off the steel steps; Benoit then launched Scorpio into the metal guard rail and hopped into the ring but the match ended on a double count out regardless. Pissed off, Scorpio rushed Benoit with a steel chair and chased him from the ring before talking shit about him on the mic to end the show. Obviously, if you wanted to see Benoit fight Sabu then you’re going to be disappointed, but I think they did a decent job making the most of a bad situation. The crowd didn’t seem annoyed at what happened; if anything, they were cheering Benoit on as he took on Scorpio and they seemed to enjoy the brawl, but this was a bit of a mess thanks to that horrendous botch and just goes to show that anything can happen in a wrestling ring.

The Aftermath:
Sabu’s refusal to break character and speak English almost exacerbated his injury when he was taken to hospital following the botch. He managed to recover, however, and was back in ECW by 1995 for a very public firing when he chose to accept a booking for New Japan Pro-Wrestling (NJPW) over defending the ECW Tag Team Championships in a match that would’ve seen him share the ring with Chris Benoit again. Since Sabu no-showed the match, he never wrestled Benoit again as the Crippler jumped back to WCW. This wouldn’t be the last time Sabu broke his neck, however; he broke it again in December 1998 during a match against Taz and came to be known for similar disastrous injuries and speaking out against World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE). Benoit would, of course, eventually make his way to the WWF and achieve his World Championship dreams only to forever tarnish his legacy by murdering his wife, son, and taking his own life in one of wrestling’s worst tragedies.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Were you shocked by what happened at November to Remember 1994? Who were you hoping would win the match before the injury happened? Were you satisfied by the impromptu contest between Chris Benoit and 2 Cold Scorpio? What is the worst botch you’ve ever seen in a wrestling match? Were you a fan of Sabu? What are your thoughts on Benoit and his tarnished legacy? Did you watch ECW back in the day and, if so, who were some of your favourite wrestlers and what were some of your favourite matches and moments? Would you like to see the November to Remember event brought back? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to leave them below or drop a comment on my social media.

Movie Night [Godzilla Day]: Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster

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Toho’s famous atomic beast, and easily the most recognisable kaiju in the entire world, Gojira first emerged to wreck the city of Tokyo on this day all the way back in 1954 and, in 2016, the day was subsequently declared “Godzilla Day”.

Released: 20 December 1964
Director: Ishirō Honda
Distributor: Toho
Budget: Unknown
Stars: Haruo Nakajima, Yosuke Natsuki, Shoichi Hirose, Akiko Wakabayashi, Masanori Shinohara, and Takashi Shimura

The Plot:
An alien prophetess (Wakabayashi) predicts catastrophic attacks from Godzilla (Nakajima) and Rodan (Shinohara), leading to Mothra intervening to defend humanity. However, when the hydra-like space dragon King Ghidorah (Hirose) appears, the warring kaiju must set aside their differences to battle this devastating new foe.

The Background:
6th August 1946. The height of the Second World War. The Americans dropped two nuclear weapons on Hiroshima and Nagaski, killing tens of thousands of people and forcing the Japanese Imperial Army to surrender. The radioactive fallout saw thousands more dying, and post-war Japan was gripped with nuclear fear, a fear that birthed Gojira, the living embodiment of nuclear destruction. However, soon after this debut in Godzilla (Honda, 1954), the King of the Monsters turned from Japan’s destroyer to its reluctant saviour, defending the country from other kaiju attacks as a matter of principal. Following the commercial success of Godzilla’s last two movies, Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster was rushed into release; it included the return and redesign of fellow kaiju Rodan after a nearly ten-year absence, a recycled Mothra animatronic with marginal changes, and Toho’s most complex kaiju yet, the three-headed dragon King Ghidorah. Arguably Godzilla’s greatest nemesis, King Ghidorah was conceived by Godzilla creator Tomoyuki Tanaka and inspired by the Lernaean Hydra and the Orochi of Japanese folklore, and its debut feature was so successful that it reappeared in Toho’s next giant-monster film the following year.

The Review:
Our story opens with reporter Naoko Shindo (Yuriko Hoshi) visiting a communications centre that’s trying to contact extraterrestrials. Headed by their resident expert (Someshô Matsumoto), they truly believe that “flying saucer people” are out there, and wary of non-believers, so much that Naoko’s scepticism is blamed for their failure to communicate with the aliens. For a group of presumed scientists and academics, they’re oddly fanatical about this; since the world is experiencing an unseasonable heat wave, they’re concerned that a catastrophe is looming and believe the saucer people are their only chance of salvation and find Naoko’s ditzy disinterest to be insultingly narrow-minded…even though she’s simply there to do a job and desires proof. You know, the kind of evidence scientists strive to gather. A small meteor shower interrupts their meeting and draws Naoko’s friend, Professor Murai (Hiroshi Koizumi), and his team to investigate. They discover a large cocoon-like meteor that randomly emits magnetic waves and leaves them baffled. Naoko’s brother, Detective Shindo (Natsuki), likes to tease Naoko about her friendship with Murai; although grown adults, they still bicker like children, and she doesn’t appreciate his remarks or him getting in the way of her career. Shindo is stunned when he’s assigned to protect the visiting Princess Salno of Selgina (Wakabayashi), who’s facing assassination from her ruthless uncle (Shin Ôtomo), who desires her throne. Shindo is even more stunned when Salno appears to be killed when her plane explodes and she crops up as a doomsaying Prophetess who claims to be from Mars and warns that the world faces impending doom unless humanity changes their ways and takes better care of the environment, much to the jeers and doubts of the public.

Shindo and his sister are caught up with a mysterious woman who claims to be from Mars!

Assuming that Salno faked her death to escape her uncle’s assassin (Hisaya Ito), Shindo volunteers to bring her into protective custody, causing a brief conflict when he finds Naoko shielding her in hopes of getting an exclusive story. Drawn from her plane before the explosion by a disembodied alien presence that possesses her, psychiatrist Doctor Tsukamoto (Shimura) later reveals that the Prophetess is just one of a displaced, highly advanced alien race that fled to Earth and assimilate themselves into humanity, losing many of their fantastic abilities in the process, when the Red Planet was decimated by Ghidrah. One of the deadpan Prophetess’ remaining abilities is the ability to predict pending disasters that are repeatedly mocked and ignored; she warns people away from Mount Aso, where the prehistoric kaiju Rodan emerges from the volcano, and advises the fairy-like Shobijin (Emi and Yumi Itō) not to sail home to the benevolent Mothra on Infant Island, which they heed and are thus spared a violent death from Godzilla’s atomic breath. Despite the looming kaiju threat, the assassin and his cohorts continually hound the Prophetess, determined to kill her as per their orders, in a bizarre side-plot that honestly distracts from what we’re all here to see (but I guess it makes a change from following a soldier or a reporter as these films often do). Even with the three kaiju battling in the foreground, the assassin tries to complete his mission and yet somehow misses the easiest kill shot in the world! Although Shindo rushes to her aid and a brief firefight ensues, the assassin is ultimately crushed under falling rocks from the kaiju battle. In all the chaos, Shindo is wounded from a bullet and the Prophetess takes a grazing shot to the head and a nasty fall that conveniently sees the alien presence driven from her body…

Mothra is asked to unite rivals Godzilla and Rodan when Ghidrah goes on a rampage.

By this film, kaiju are well established; despite them slumbering for great lengths of time and occasionally defending humanity, they’re generally regarded as unpredictable and dangerous. One of the most popular and benign is Mothra, who’s such a celebrity that his fairy companions appear on television to reveal that one of the Mothra larvae has died since the previous film and that the remaining larvae is worshipped as a God. Sadly, for a film that boasts four kaiju, it takes ages to see them onscreen, and over forty minutes for Godzilla to show up! Even worse, although Godzilla’s clearly enraged at Rodan’s presence and they awkwardly exchange blows, the film initially focuses on dull political debate and fades to black right as things are getting interesting. The meteor eventually yields the most visually striking aspect of the film, and Godzilla’s greatest nemesis, the titular Ghidrah, a three-headed dragon covered in golden scales. With the Japanese military refusing to employ atomic weapons, they turn to the Shobijin to plead for Mothra’s help. Unfortunately, the fairies admit that Mothra alone isn’t strong enough to battle Ghidrah and the only hope for victory is for the larvae to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against the demonic dragon. It takes some time for Ghidrah to cross paths with its foes; until then, the focus is on Godzilla and Rodan, who battle furiously with neither one having a clear advantage (Rodan’s fight allows it to keep Godzilla off-balance and even pick him up and dump him on some power lines, but Godzilla’s functionally indestructible and simply grows more enraged the longer the fight rages on). Their pig-headedness means Ghidrah causes havoc unopposed by either the kaiju or the miliary; indeed, the military don’t even mobilise their tanks or planes to engage Ghidrah and, instead, the ineffectual government places all their faith in Mothra and his desperate plan to join forces with Godzilla and Rodan.

The Nitty-Gritty:
You may have noticed a few inconsistences in my review; these are due to me watching the English dub, which has the Prophetess and her people originate from Mars rather than Venus, pronounces and spells Ghidorah’s name differently and drops its regal title, and changes the traditionally female Mothra to a male. While some purists may argue that the original Japanese audio and English titles are superior (and they’re often right), I usually always go with the dubbed version just to make things easier and because of the often-hilarious line delivery. The film contains an environmental message that echoes sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still (Wise, 1951); decades before global warming was the hot buzz word, Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster warns about such disastrous concerns as climate change and global warming. The Prophetess foretells that humanity is doomed if they don’t change their ways, but this message falls a little flat as her warnings are not actually about mankind directly and instead refer to the monstrous kaiju that threaten their world. While technically these creatures (with the exception of Ghidrah) could be said to be man-made, given they were mutated by radiation and such, they’re usually always more depicted as a force of nature. Godzilla, especially, is usually always the embodiment of nature’s wrath and man’s hubris taking destructive revenge upon the world, so it’s a little weird to say “you’re dooming yourselves” when actually you mean “a big-ass alien monster’s gonna wreck shit”.

The film is definitely ambitious with its suit effects, though maybe a little too ambitious at times.

Although it takes forever for Godzilla to finally make an appearance, he’s as impressive as ever; while the suit is bulky and incapable of blinking, it’s always a joy to see Godzilla trampling model buildings as people flee in terror. Emerging from its cocoon in a shower of sparks and animated lights, Ghidrah makes for an intimidating foe with its three screeching heads and chaotic lighting blasts; like Rodan, Ghidrah devastates everything in its path with a supersonic crash and, like Godzilla, it emits destructive energy beams, but in the form of wild and crackling lightning. Unfortunately, it does look incredibly ungainly with its bulbous body and lack of arms; while its three dragon-like heads go some way too make up for this handicap, biting and attacking with malicious intent, they also look a bit dodgy flopping and flailing all over the place and I really do think Ghidrah would be even more threatening if it had arms and talons to grab and attack with and just make its body look a little less comical. Unlike their counterparts, Rodan and Mothra are far less versatile and clunky; Rodan may still be a man in a suit but his flying scenes are realised through obvious wires and a powerful wind machine, while Mothra is purely a partially animatronic creature that bumbles about the place spitting silly string because, maddeningly, the filmmakers decided to keep Mothra in his larvae form rather than utilise the more visually interesting (if equally restrictive) moth form. Rodan’s flying scenes are, admittedly, pretty ridiculous; I admire the filmmakers for trying to inject some variety with their kaiju designs and have always had a soft spot for Rodan, but it’s laughable seeing the static model being strung along on wires (alongside a jet engine sound effect) and bashing into Godzilla. Godzilla still uses his atomic breath rather than a destructive beam of energy, meaning both are noticeably weaker than I’d usually expect from the King of the Monsters; Rodan can take the breath at point-blank range and even comically disorientates Godzilla by pecking him repeatedly in the head!

Eventually the three kaiju come together to scare Ghidrah off with ridiculous ease.

Honestly, the fight between Godzilla and Rodan is pretty ridiculous thanks to the filmmakers just being a little too ambitious; Rodan flies about, pecks at Godzilla and its tail, and pushes the Big G back with powerful wind blasts, and Godzilla mostly flails his little arms, whacks Rodan with his tail in a glorified slap fest, and sends rocks flying at his foe that fail to hit with any convincing impact. The two even play dead man’s volley with the boulders, which is presented as two Apex Predators looking to prove their might, and they’re only subdued when Mothra tangles them up in silly string to plead for their co-operation. The Shobijin are on hand to translate; despite their differences, Godzilla and Rodan agree that they have nothing to gain from helping humans and have no interest in getting involved and would rather fight each other. However, the two quickly change their minds when they see Mothra bravely taking on Ghidrah alone and be easily overwhelmed by its lightning bolts. Not that Godzilla or Rodan initially fare much better; Godzilla gets blasted into a bridge and engulfed in raging flames and Rodan injures itself more than its monstrous foe when it knocks Ghidrah out of the air. With Rodan forced to take cover from Ghidrah’s lightning, Godzilla literally drags Mothra back into the fray and goes back to his tried-and-true strategy of chucking and kicking rocks and gets blasted in the crotch for his troubles! Eventually, Godzilla, Rodan, and Mothra come together as best as they (and their cumbersome suits) allow to overwhelm Ghidrah; Godzilla wrestles with it, absorbing the brunt of its attacks, while Mothra nips at its tail and engulfs it with String Shot while being carried on Rodan’s back. Somehow, this is enough to force the hydra to flee, bringing the battle to an anti-climatic end. In the aftermath, Princess Salno exhibits no memories of her time as a Martian beyond a lingering gratitude for Shindo and Mothra heads back to Infant Island with the Shobijin, bidding a fond farewell to his new allies, who have set aside their grievances.

The Summary:
Geez, I may apologise for Godzilla movies a lot and cut them some slack, but this was a pretty awful movie to sit through! The tone is all over the place, emphasising the importance of respecting the world and avoiding global disaster on one hand and then having slapstick kaiju violence the next. While Ghidrah may look intimidating and is depicted as a crazed, destructive alien beast, it’s defeated with a pathetic amount of ease; the film makes a big deal about how Mothra isn’t strong enough to defeat the creature, yet all Godzilla does is hold it still and all Rodan does is carry Mothra so he can string it up! The bulk of the monster madness is focused on Godzilla and Rodan, which would be fine if the fights weren’t so laughably bad! This is only Godzilla’s fifth movie so I understand that all the kinks weren’t figured out yet, and I get that there’s only so much you can do with puppets and suitmation, but maybe the filmmakers should’ve set their goals a little lower and simply focused on Godzilla battling with Mothra and left Rodan out of this since it really didn’t do much against Ghidrah that couldn’t have been accomplished without it. The film also spends way too much time focusing on this batshit crazy Martian presence, or whatever, when it should’ve been focused on the mystery of the glowing meteor. I would’ve skipped the Prophetess and incorporated her environmental message into Shindo, rewritten him to be a scientist investigating the meteor, and had Naoko cover the emergence of the kaiju. Again, I get that we need to follow human characters, but they dominate the film’s runtime and just aren’t very interesting, especially compared to what should’ve been an epic assembling of four bad-ass kaiju with the fate of the Earth at stake. Instead, I never felt like humanity was threatened by Ghidrah and the kaiju action was severely lacking due to the imitations of the suits, meaning Ghidrah’s big debut film ended up being a dull and ultimately forgettable experience for me.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to King Ghidorah’s debut film? Were you also disappointed by the bonkers human sub-plot, or did you enjoy the alien narrative? What did you think to the build up to King Ghidorah’s appearance and powers? Did you also find the kaiju battles lacking? Which incarnation of King Ghidorah is your favourite? What is your favourite Godzilla movie and why? How are you celebrating Godzilla Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Godzilla and King Ghidorah, feel free to leave a comment below and be sure to check out my other Godzilla and kaiju reviews across the site!

Featured Publications

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Bloody Hell: An Anthology of UK Indie Horror
This collection of 27 horror shorts from some of the United Kingdom’s best indie authors incudes my Scottish-set chiller, “Hungry is th’ Bodach”.

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Curbside Curses
This collection of 22 short horror stories, centred on a cursed yard sale, incudes my wrestling-themed piece, “A New Gimmick”.

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Doors of Darkness
This collection of 27 short horror stories incudes my quirky creature-feature, “Mounds”.

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Unveiling Nightmares
My short horror story, “Date Night”, appeared in the first issue of Crystal Baynam’s Unveiling Nightmares magazine and in her first Horror Anthology publication.

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Tales from Deranged Minds
This collection of four short horror stories incudes my Halloween-themed companion piece to Stitchface, “Funhouse”.

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Flash Horror Fiction Contest
A couple of my short horror pieces appeared on Patrick McNulty’s website,

– Father’s Clock – Roach Cabinet – Where the Hooved-One Treads

Shepherd
I have written a couple of articles for this bookish website,

– Horror Recommendations – Favourite Reads of 2023


Movie Night [Day of the Dead]: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Dr. K2 Comments

The Day of the Dead (or Dia de los Muertos) is a traditional Latin American holiday on which, every November 1st, the lives of deceased loved ones are celebrated with food, drink, parties, and a great deal of masquerade involving the calacas and calaveras (skeletons and skulls). For me, this seems like the perfect excuse to look back on the long-running and ever-changing zombie genre that was largely popularised by director George A. Romero, which I devoted a great deal of my PhD thesis towards and which has often been used as a parallel to various aspects of society and culture.  

Released: 1 October 1968
Director: George A. Romero
Distributor: Continental Distributing
Budget: $114,000 to 125,000
Stars: Duane Jones, Judith O’Dea, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, and Kyra Schon

The Plot:
When the recently deceased suddenly return to life, traumatised Barbra (O’Dea) takes shelter in a farmhouse alongside pragmatic Ben (Jones) and antagonistic Harry Cooper (Hardman). With tensions rising and the walking dead closing in, the group struggles to survive, co-exist, and make sense of this strange phenomenon.

The Background:
Ever since the 1930s, zombies have appeared in movies in one form or another, either as mindless slaves, voracious cannibals, or in their most famous form: the shambling undead. After growing bored with directing television commercials, George A. Romero and his friends, John Russo and Russell Steiner, decided to capitalise on growing trends for more bizarre content and produce a horror movie. Initially conceived of as a horror comedy about adolescent aliens, it was Russo who decided the creatures being flesh-eating reanimated corpses, which Romero infused with heavy inspiration from the macabre revolutionary themes of I Am Legend (Matheson, 1954) and its first screen adaptation, The Last Man on Earth (Salkow and Ragona, 1964). Although the role of Ben was written as a Caucasian, Duane Jones impressed Romero in his audition and the script was revised based on his input; his casting and portrayal inspired numerous racial readings and made the film surprisingly progressive for the time. The low-budget impacted the options available to the filmmakers; chocolate syrup, entrails from butcher shops, and simple make-up effects brought the gore and ghouls to gruesome life and, while simplistic by today’s standards, proved shocking and outrageous at the time. Despite the controversy it caused, Night of the Living Dead was a massive hit with its box office gross of over $30 million; although critics dismissed it at the time, Night of the Living Dead has since been regarded as a horror classic, one of the best of its era, and it was preserved in the National Film Registry in 1999. The film was not only followed by subsequent sequels (both official and unofficial) and (thanks to an agreement between Romero and Russo) a similarly-named adjacent series) that expanded and refined the zombie concept, but heavily influenced the portrayal of zombies for decades. Remade in 1990 to recoup some profit after legal issues saw the original become public domain, Night of the Living Dead is also the most remade film in history.

The Review:
When I decided to spend a year of my PhD discussing the original Resident Evil movies (Various, 2002 to 2016), I found myself deeply entrenched in the rich and lengthy lore of zombie cinema, tracking their origins as voodoo slaves in White Zombie (Halperin, 1932), their vampire-like depiction in I Am Legend and the first of its many adaptations, The Last Man on Earth, and, of course, charting the history of Romero’s genre-defining depiction of the living dead. I found that zombies are one of the most enduring horror creatures not just in cinema, but in mainstream media; they’ve been as persistent as they appear in movies, changing from shambling ghouls to rage-filled savages, and continue to be popular inclusions in horror media thanks to how versatile they are. Honestly, though, this kind of research and in-depth exposure to zombie cinema kind of ruined my appreciation for zombie movies; many are low-budget, derivative affairs or simply repeat the same lessons established by Romero decades ago, meaning it can be hard to find quality zombie movies. Although well renowned as the grandfather of this sub-genre of horror, Romero’s first effort in bringing zombies to un-life is fraught with issues, ranging from the obvious low budget and stilted performances to inconsistences in the portrayal and behaviour of the titular living dead as these aspects wouldn’t be refined until the far more visually and philosophically interesting (but, blasphemously, still quite tedious, in my opinion) sequel. I also feel compelled to specify here that I’m looking at the black and white original rather than the many different re-releases or the bastardised colour version, simply to give my thoughts on Romero’s original vision as depicted so controversially decades ago.

Unlike Ben, who takes charge as a resourceful leader, Barbra is little more than a traumatised mouse.

We open with Barbra and her brother, Johnny (Russell Streiner), reaching the end of a regular 200-mile round trip to place a wreath on their father’s grave at the behest of their mother. Johnny, exasperated at regularly having to waste his days commemorating a man he barely even remembers, just wants to get back home and stop throwing away good money for sentiment. While Barbra is happy to make the trip and thinks fondly of her father, Johnny has no time for lingering and amuses himself by teasing Barbra since she’s still scared by cemeteries. Indeed, Barbra’s previous resolve in chastising Johnny’s attitude falters when he starts bullying her, but they’re both horrified when a strange, shambling man (Bill Hinzman) suddenly attacks them. Although Johnny bravely (if awkwardly) tries to fight the man off, he ends up bashed into a gravestone, leaving Barbra fleeing in terror. After…somehow…crashing her car, Barbra is forced to take refuge in a nearby farmhouse; though she arms herself with a knife, she’s unable to call for help due to mysterious interference on the line but, luckily, Ben shows up and immediately takes charge. If you’re hoping for a strong, capable female lead then you’re out of luck, Barbra is so crippled by fear that’s practically catatonic, sleepwalking through the rest of the film and completely giving into despair while Ben is forthright and bravely tackles the ghouls with a tyre iron. Although he’s just as scared as her, his thoughts are on practical matters such as food, lights, and arming himself with a rifle; Barbra’s distressed state aggravates him, but he keeps his cool and puts her to work helping to secure the house against further attacks to await rescue. Eloquent, intelligent, and charismatic, Ben hides his fear and confusion behind productive tasks and narrating his observations and the horrors he’s seen aloud, something he’s forced to do since Barbra too shocked to be much conversation. When Barbra descends into hysteria, so desperate to save Johnny that she almost runs out into further danger, Ben’s forced to physically subdue her to keep her calm, allowing him to finish fortifying the house and glean insight into the crisis from a radio broadcast.

Tensions rise between the survivors, who are faced with a clash of ego and the undead.

Considering it takes Ben some time (presumably a couple of hours) to finish fortifying the house, it comes as a surprise to both them and the audience when other survivors emerge from the cellar. Naturally, Ben is incensed to learn that Harry, his wife and daughter, Helen (Eastman) and Karen (Schon), and lovers Tom (Keith Wayne) and Judy (Judith Ridley), chose to hide rather than investigate the screaming and commotion. Ben’s natural instinct is to help people, no matter the danger, whereas Harry reasoned it wasn’t worth risking their lives and their safety helping others. Having witnessed the strength and tenacity of the ghouls, Harry is adamant that they’re all safer in the cellar, regardless of the fortifications, and both make valid arguments since the cellar allows them to better fend off attacks, but the house gives them a fighting chance and more escape routes. Tom does his best to play peacekeeper, but Harry stubbornly refuses to listen to reason, primarily due to fear, his shame at feeling said fear, and a deep-seated need to protect his family. Although the ghouls briefly breaking through the windows seems to prove Harry’s point, he’s aggrieved when Ben refuses to share any of the upstairs food or resources; it seems Harry wants it both ways, but Ben firmly draws a line and delivers a stern ultimatum: “You can be the boss down there. I’m boss up here”, enraging the overprotective and stubborn father. Taking his chances upstairs, Tom has the anxious and caring Judy join them while Harry barricades himself and his family downstairs out of a pig-headed fixation on being “right”. Weary of his bullish ways, Helen echoes Ben’s remarks about Harry’s shortsightedness, which cuts them and their sick daughter off from information and potential rescue. Like Tom, she emphasises co-operation and compromise, allowing them to trade places with Judy to learn more about the crisis, though he continues to rile Ben up with his antagonistic and cynical attitude. Helen is encouraged by news of rescue centres nearby and Ben devises a plan to hold off the ghouls with flaming torches so they can refuel his truck and get medical help for Karen, but the plan goes horribly awry, resulting in Tom and Judy’s fiery deaths, and Ben unloads his rage onto Harry when he refuses to let him back into the house, leading to the two tussling for the rifle.

Night established and popularised many of the characteristics of zombie media.

In their first appearance, Romero’s living dead are noticeably different to what we’d see in his sequels and subsequent zombie media. The first thing to note, of course, is that the living dead are never referred to as “zombies”; this term would be as fastidiously avoided and mocked as Romero’s opinions on running zombie variants, meaning the living dead have more in common with Matheson’s interpretation of vampires than the brain-devouring zombie of mainstream imagination. Consequently, the living dead are referred to as anything but zombies; described as “ghouls”, “things”, “them”, and “assassins”, the living dead are also noticeably less gruesome than in later movies, potentially because the zombie outbreak is so recent and the undead so freshly turned. Similarly, Romero avoids explaining the sudden return of the living dead; a news report speculates radiation from an exploding space probe, but divine will is also implied (Johnny mocks Barbra’s prayer and admits to no longer attending church, and is the first to die). The zombie outbreak is treated as a sudden and confusing attack, almost like an epidemic; at first, characters ignore or mock the signs but they’re soon relying on radio broadcasts for scant information and how to combat the voracious ghouls. Night of the Living Dead establishes the basic rules of the undead: for whatever reason, the recently-deceased return in a near-mindless state, driven only by the need to consume human flesh. Rather than infecting people, their bites simply expedite the deaths of their victims; because of radiation from the Venus prove, anyone who dies will then reanimate with a taste for murder and cannibalism. Though slow and shambling and driven back by fire, the ghouls are incredibly persistent and dangerous in large groups; they can only be permanently put down with a blow to the head, destroying their brain, or removing the head entirely, and people are encouraged to forgo proper funeral procedures and immolate the corpses as soon as possible. Unlike most iterations of zombies, however, the ghouls are decidedly less monstrous here; many are more like entranced slaves or crazed maniacs, meaning they can use tools or rocks where brute strength fails and young Karen even uses a trowel to stab her mother to death rather than going for the jugular as you might expect.

The Nitty-Gritty:
There’s a certain classic charm to revisiting the old black and white horrors of yesteryear; everything has a distinctly old-timey and almost gothic atmosphere, which is only extenuated by the greyscale visuals. Yes, it does make some of the night-time action difficult to make out and it’s not for everyone, but I always appreciate this era of cinema as it evokes feelings of nostalgia and appreciation for these filmmakers, who did the best they could on a limited budget and with the technology of the time and, in many cases, pioneered filmmaking effects that we still see in cinema to this day. Even in this first tentative outing for the living dead, Romero positions the ghouls as social commentary; their mindless, savage, almost primal nature explicitly reflects the dichotomy between the survivors, particularly Ben and Harry, who constantly butt heads. There’s a startling message related to this through the simple depiction of the ghouls co-existing and even working together, despite being incapable of communication, to problem solve and better devour their prey; in contrast, the survivors are equally unable to communicate due to fear, tension, and ego and absolutely incapable of working together for these same reasons. It’s these emotional responses that see other survivors uniting against their monstrous foes as a paranoid, trigger-happy mob that’s as inhuman as the ghouls they target, creating a thematic parallel that begs the question who the real monsters are, us or “them”? Naturally, you can read into this even further thanks to Ben being a Black man; though the most level-headed and practical, he’s met with suspicion (even from Barbra, initially) and hostility, which opens itself up to racial prejudice due to his skin colour and Harry’s overly aggressive demeanour, and the ghouls are also framed as being this unknowable threat not unlike  foreign invader that “normal” folk struggle to understand and fight back against with extreme prejudice.

Despite surviving the horrifying night, Ben is callously shot dead as humanity blindly fights back.

Although Johnny’s death is disappointingly lame and bloodless, the suddenness and brutality of is where the true horror lies; still, Night of the Living Dead contains a fair amount of gore, including a partially mangled (presumably eaten) corpse in the farmhouse, some rudimentary decomposition effects, a surprising amount of flaming bodes, and sickening scenes of ghouls feasting on Tom and Judy’s entrails and chargrilled flesh. Still, Night of the Living Dead focuses more on tension and both internal and external threats. Although Harry covers their exit with Molotov cocktails, he takes advantage of the situation to claim dominion over the entire house. Unsurprisingly, given they’ve been measuring dicks the entire time, Ben fights him for control of the only gun, resulting in Harry being fatally shot due to his hubris. Having succumbed to her injuries, Karen reanimates and feasts on her father’s body before stabbing her mother to death. As she and the other ghouls close in, Barbra finally snaps out of her stupor, only to be dragged into the writhing masses by Johnny, and this irony is quickly followed by Ben, the sole survivor, being forced to take refuge in the cellar when his barricades fail. After putting down the reanimated Harry (which seems as much out of spite as it for survival) and Helen, Ben waits it out and survives the night; since the ghouls go down pretty easily when you have the right weapons, the danger seems to be mostly contained by the authorities and gun-toting locals, who pick the living dead off with ease. When they come to dispatch the ghouls near the farmhouse, Ben emerges from the cellar, attracted to the gunfire, but his caution proves his undoing; since he’s skulking around in the darkness, he’s mistaken for a ghoul and promptly executed on the spot. As the credits play, his body (and those of all the characters, ghouls and human alike) is dispassionately dumped onto a bonfire and burned in one of the bleakest endings in all of horror cinema.

The Summary:
There’s a reason Night of the Living Dead is considered a horror classic and the forefather of zombie media. A low-budget affair that made the most of its resources, the film is a bleak mediation on humanity; simple ideas such as co-operating, coming together in a crisis, and working together to overcome an aggressive foe are present and resonate even to this day, where we’re more likely to turn against each other than set aside our differences. Although not as explicit as in his later movies, the ghouls are clearly utilised as an allegory for these matters, and various others; the fear and inevitability of death, the danger of the unknown, the savage nature of man are all valid readings of Night of the Living Dead.  It’s also incredibly progressive in terms of Black representation; Ben is a keen, intelligent, and proactive survivor haunted by what he’s seen but determined to help others and make a fighting stand until rescue comes. While he can be as abrasive as Harry, his stubborn demeanour comes from a place of logic and reason and he’s constantly trying to increase their chances of survival, only to be met with pig-headed resistance. Harry might be an asshole, but you can see where he’s coming from; he’s scared and wants to protect his family, even if it means sacrificing others. Sadly, Helen (and women in general) don’t fare quite as well; portrayed as meek and generally useless, women just kind of get in the way or are oppressed and bossed about rather than contributing anything meaningful, though this does allow discussions about gender equality and machismo. Night of the Living Dead also established many of the “rules” for zombie cinema; although its ghouls aren’t as monstrous as later zombies and are more like entranced slaves, there’s a mystery and a danger to them when they gather in large numbers against vulnerable victims. However, it’s true that the film hasn’t aged very well; the performances and some themes are questionable, and there have been better zombie movies made since (by Romero himself, no less) that both overshadow this one and expose its flaws, though it remains recommended viewing for any fans of the genre, for sure,

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you consider Night of the Living Dead a classic of the genre? Were you surprised to see a Black man take such a proactive role? What did you think to the tension and rivalry between Ben and Harry? How did you interpret the ghouls and what did you think to their characterisation here? What do you think caused the zombie outbreak and how do you think you would react in such a scenario? What is your favourite zombie film and what do you think of the genre in general? How are you celebrating the Day of the Dead today? Whatever your thoughts on Night of the Living Dead, and zombie films in general, feel free to leave a comment below or leave your thoughts on my social media, and check out my other zombie content across the site.

Movie Night [Halloween]: Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Dr. K4 Comments

Starting life as the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts, Halloween is largely associated not just with ghosts, ghouls, and confectionery but also a long-running series of horror movies. Beginning with John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978), the franchise is largely credited with birthing the “slasher” sub-genre of horror films and has endured numerous remakes and reboots and is one of the most influential films in all of horror.

Released: 22 October 1982
Director: Tommy Lee Wallace
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $2.5 million
Stars: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Brad Schacter, Dick Warlock, and Dan O’Herlihy

The Plot:
Doctor Dan Challis (Atkins) and Ellie Grimbridge (Nelkin), the daughter of a murder victim, uncover a terrible plot by small-town mask maker Conal Cochran (O’Herlihy) to mass murder of children on Halloween using an ancient Celtic ritual and a triggering device contained in a television commercial.

The Background:
Despite critics largely dismissing it at the time, John Carpenter’s Halloween’s box office gross of over $63 million against a paltry $300,000 to 325,000 budget made it one of the most successful independent films ever made. The film not only popularised the clichés of the slasher genre, but is also now regarded as one of the most influential movies of its genre, all of which meant that a sequel was all-but-inevitable. Writer/director John Carpenter wasn’t enthusiastic about this, or his final script, but (despite the usual critical mauling), Halloween II (Rosenthal, 1981) was a box office success, so the studio pushed for a third entry. Carpenter and his producer partner Debra Hill only agreed to deliver another film if it went in a different direction, one that didn’t focus on the iconic Michael Myers/The Shape (Various). They, and director Tommy Lee Wallace, instead wanted to create a horror anthology movie series, with yearly films focusing on different aspects of the season and this one drawing inspiration from the sci-fi classic, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Siegel, 1956). The film’s creepy Halloween masks were created by special effects guru Don Post out of latex and the cast was comprised of character actors and former Carpenter collaborators (though veteran actor Dan O’Herlihy later admitted that he didn’t think much to the film), and Wallace later stated that he enjoyed the entire experience and was disheartened by the film’s negative response. Indeed, Halloween III: Season of the Witch brought in just $14 million at the box office and was met with largely negative reviews; critics disliked the execution, the nonsensical plot, and the ludicrous antagonists, with Michael’s absence being particularly noted for many. Although some regard the film as an under-rated horror classic, Carpenter’s experiment didn’t pay off and the decision was made to bring Michael back some six years later, and he’s been the star of the franchise ever since.

The Review:
This one’s a tough one for me. Unlike, say, the Friday the 13th series (Various, 1980 to present), which potentially could’ve lived on (at least for a film or two) with other killers donning the iconic hockey mask of Jason Voorhees (Various), I’m not entirely certain if Halloween was meant to involve anyone or anything other than Michael Myers. I think maybe if the second film hadn’t been a direct sequel then this anthology format might’ve had more legs, but it feels weird to do two Myers-centric movies and then suddenly veer into anthology territory. Honestly, more than anything I’m surprised it got made at all; the idea of producing a horror sequel without its main villain and with no ties to the previous movies seems unusual today but even more so back in the eighties, when horror franchises were churning out yearly films featuring their popular slasher villains. Although Myers was very clearly and definitively killed off in Halloween II, it took the bare minimum of handwaving to explain his return in subsequent films, and I’m genuinely baffled that the producers didn’t simply accelerate that logic for a Carpenter-less third movie and produce this film as a separate endeavour, but clearly it was an attempt to cash-in on Halloween’s success and placate John Carpenter, because why wouldn’t you want him around? The film begins in October, some eight days before Halloween, and finds shop owner Harry Grimbridge (Al Berry) pursued by mysterious, stoic men in suits. Exhausted, hurt, and clutching one of Silver Shamrock’s coveted Halloween masks, he’s barely able to escape and is taken to a hospital, where he’s placed under the care of Dr. Challis.

Dr. Challis and Ellie investigate the mysterious Silver Shamrock company and stumble upon a mad plot!

As if being consumed by a demanding and stressful job wasn’t bad enough, Dan’s relationship with his ex-wife, Linda (Nancy Kyes), is further strained by him being a borderline alcoholic. His attempts to be a good and doting father are admirable, but he’s constantly one step behind; he brings his kids, Bella (Michelle Walker) and Willie (Joshua Miller), Halloween masks but they already have two of the Silver Shamrock ones and he’s constantly being called back to work. Dan’s attempts to treat Harry are made more difficult by his ranting, which nobody notices is triggered by the Silver Shamrock commercials, and the arrival of one of the men in black, who cracks his skull through the eye sockets! For a doctor, Dan sure does enjoy extracurricular activities; while his flirtations towards Nurse Agnes (Maidie Norman) seem to all be in good fun and appreciated, it’s still inappropriate behaviour in the workplace and he seems very friendly with the assistant coroner, Teddy (Wendy Wessberg), which leads me to believe that his marriage broke down due to him being unfaithful. Indeed, after Harry is murdered and his killer immolates himself, all it takes is one look at Harry’s daughter, Ellie (Nelkin), and Dan abandons his patients and responsibilities and travels to the Silver Shamrock factory in Santa Mira, California to investigate further. Ellie is absolutely heartbroken and incensed at her father’s random and vicious murder; after spotting Dan at the funeral, Ellie tracks him down to find out more and he reluctantly reveals that Harry was paranoid that he was going to be killed. She takes him to her father’s store and shares her research into her father’s records, which points them towards Santa Mira, and Dan’s so moved by her plight that he passes up seeing his kids (much to Linda’s fury) to join her. She’s surprisingly happy to share a bed with him without much coercing (it must be the moustache because he looks old enough to be her father!…unless that’s what she’s into…) and to masquerade as potential customers to get a tour of Cochran’s factory, which is like something out of Roald Dahl. While she has a fair amount of spunk and is determined to get to the bottom of her father’s death, there’s not much to Ellie; she’s certainly not shy about her sexuality but, despite claiming to be “older than she looks”, she’s still prone to emotional outbursts and is thus easily captured by Cochran’s men, disappearing for a big chunk of the film and returning simply to be a pretty hostage for our surprisingly gung-ho male protagonist to rescue.

Despite his friendly persona, Cochran employs killer androids and plans to murder countless children!

Silver Shamrock made its fortune manufacturing toys; with Halloween fast approaching, they’ve embarked on an aggressive and aggravating marketing campaign for their special Halloween masks, which all the kids are dying to get their hands on. The company is headed by Irish entrepreneur Cochran, whose factory and business brings prosperity to Santa Mira; played with an alluring glee by expert villain Dan O’Herlihy, Cochran is a magnetic and generous old man who takes great pride in his work, his attention to detail, and the prosperity he’s brought to Santa Mira. Although he brought in his own workers from overseas and much of the town is made up of his fellow Irishmen, hardly anything happens in town without his say-so or involvement and he’s extremely eager to please his customers and investors with accolades and generosity. However, while he appears a friendly and courteous old man, Cochran hides a dark secret within his factory walls and, thanks to O’Herlihy’s presence, is constantly shrouded in a sinister cloud. Many of his workforce are mute, relentless android assassins who carry out his every whim without question; garbed in suits and pursuing their targets relentlessly, they are superhumanly strong, capable of gouging out eyes, ripping off heads, and enduring a great deal of punishment. In many ways, their silent implacability conjures memories of Michael Myers (fitting since the head android was played by the Shape himself, Dick Warlock), but even these unsettling minions are just a fraction of Cochran’s true intent. It turns out that his masks contain a special microchip that gruesomely kills whoever is wearing them and causes writhing snakes and bugs to burst from their heads!  This is all part of his insidious plot to evoke an ancient pagan ritual from his native Celtic lands of sacrificing children during the time of Samhain, a plot that requires a chunk of Stonehenge which he was somehow able to steal and transport to the United States without being detected!

The Nitty-Gritty:
You can tell that Halloween III is going for something completely different right away; gone is the haunting, atmospheric “Halloween” theme and unsettling pumpkin in the credits, replaced by an ominous synth theme courtesy of John Carpenter and Alan Howarth, basic credit text, and a decidedly eighties computer-generated credit sequence that merges the themes of Halloween and technology (specifically evoking the pixelated aesthetic of television and computer screens). The film also goes out of its way to make it clear that its events aren’t set in the same continuity as the previous films since a trailer for Halloween plays on a television at one point. However, while the score is fitting for what basically amounts to a techno/horror piece and evokes memories of John Carpenter’s The Thing (Carpenter, 1982) and The Terminator (Cameron, 1984), your days will be tormented forever more by the incessant Silver Shamrock jingle, which cheerily counts down the days until Halloween to the tune of “London Bridge is Falling Down”. The intention is pretty obvious, to capture kids’ attention with dancing images, a memorable song, and encourage them to buy the masks and it’s pretty evocative of the aggressive and shameless marketing campaigns of toys and videogames over the years, but the subtext is quite clever as well: it can’t be a coincidence or just a financial decision that “London Bridge is Falling Down” is used as the base tune since Cochran’s ultimate plan is the cause widespread death and destruction, after all.

Some gory scenes and bizarre events help make the film a little more memorable, as weird as they are.

If there’s one thing Halloween III has going for it, it’s a somewhat decent sense of atmosphere; when Dan and Ellie roll into Santa Mira, they’re met with suspicion and intrigue by the townsfolk since. For the most part, the film is a bit of a murder-mystery tale, with Dan and Ellie posing as a couple and trying to find out more about the company and investigating the strange town with its many surveillance cameras and even a curfew (which doesn’t stop Dan going out at night to an open liquor store, making you wonder why there’s a curfew in the first place…), and Dan proves to be quite the sleuth. Of course, his habitual lying and infidelity goes a long way to helping with his subterfuge; Linda is so fed up of his constant excuses and lies that she offers little support or compassion when he’s rattled by the deaths at the hospital and he gets so into his little charade with Ellie that it’s not long (barely a day) before they’re getting it on in their motel room. While they suspect that there’s more going on behind Silver Shamrock’s walls, they could never have guessed the truth but we get to see it in gory detail as one of Cochran’s androids trips the head off a hobo (Jon Terry) for daring to disparage the company’s name. Disgruntled buyer Marge Guttman (Garn Stephens) also indirectly feels Cochran’s wrath after she fiddles around with a mask and gets a mouthful of laser due to a “misfire” that leaves her a mutilated husk for creepy-crawlies to wriggle out of! After Ellie is kidnapped by Cochran’s androids, Dan is fights one off, punching right through its stomach and rendering it immobile, but the realisation that Cochran utilises life-like machines leaves him shellshocked and he’s easily apprehended by the toymaker. Instead of killing the nosy doctor, Cochran decides it’s far better to take him into the hidden laboratory beneath his toy factory and to explain his master plan in minute detail (well, except for explaining how the fuck he got that chunk of Stonehenge there, which he simply laughs off).

Although Dr. Challis destroys Cochran’s operation, it’s left ambiguous whether he stopped his evil scheme…

Fascinated and enamoured by the power of even a fragment of the ancient rock, Cochran delights in showing off exactly what his masks can do by forcing Dan to watch as his best seller and his family (Ralph Strait, Jadeen Barbor, and Brad Schacter) are subjected to the final Silver Shamrock commercial, which sucks the life out of the boy and sees him torn apart by bugs and snakes, which then attack his family. As kids all over the country eagerly await the “big giveaway” at nine, and Teddy is murdered via a drill to the head by one of Cochran’s androids (a scene that might’ve worked better if it had come earlier in the film before we knew for sure that they were androids…), Cochran straps Dan to a chair, fits him with a mask, and explains his motives: not only does he think it’s a lark, but he’s disgusted that people have forgotten Halloween’s roots and relishes bringing back the old ways of ritual sacrifice. With little more than an hour and ten minutes to go, Dan cuts himself free without much effort and escapes using a conveniently oversized ventilation shaft. His caricature of John McClane (Bruce Willis) continues as he sneaks across the factory roof and through the warehouse to rescue Ellie (…her door wasn’t even locked…) and he even reaches the control panel, figures out its controls, and activates the Silver Shamrock commercial without being spotted! He then dumps a load of the microchips over Cochran’s androids and equipment, shorting them both out and sending everything haywire, earning him a little appreciative applause from Cochran before he’s zapped by the rock. Fleeing from the horrendously rendered factory explosion, Dan races to interrupt the commercial, only to be attacked by Ellie, who turns out to be a robot duplicate (or…maybe she was a robot all along? Who even knows at this point!) Luckily, he avoids having his head ripped off and beheads her with a tyre iron, but we’ll never know if he succeeded in shutting off all the deadly commercials since the film dramatically cuts to the credits right as he’s desperately screaming at the television network to cut the feed…

The Summary:
I think everyone can agree that Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a bit of an anomaly; not only does it not include or even have anything to do with Michael Myers or the previous two films, it doesn’t even have anything to do with a witch beyond a brief reference to the pagan rituals of Samhain. I’d wager that this film is known for two things: not including the franchise’s masked killer and its surprisingly bleak ending, and only one of those points actually works in its favour. An altogether bizarre film from start to finish that awkwardly blends together technology and the supernatural, I think Halloween III was maybe trying a little too hard to be something different. Cochran’s plot might’ve been easy to swallow if it had fallen into one side or the other but having these lifelike android assassins existing alongside a magical piece of Stonehenge that he was…somehow…able to turn into killer microchips that spawn insects from Halloween masks and leave countless children dead is all very hodgepodge and none of it really feels like it fits together. It’s like the film was two scripts that got jumbled up and, while I applaud the attempt to try something different, the bleak ending, and the dark, sinister undertones (it’s rare that even horror films kill kids, after all), the final execution is quite sloppy. Tom Atkins does a decent job but he’s not much of a leading man; the visual of this middle-aged, womanising alcoholic being our unlikely protagonist doesn’t inspire much confidence, though I did enjoy his investigation into Silver Shamrock and his wife constantly admonishing him for being a lying, selfish asshole. Dan O’Herlihy’s captivating, menacing screen presence and some deliciously gory death scenes help this film limp along towards its memorably grim ending but, overall, you can easily skip this one in favour of any other horror film and have a far better time. I do believe that there was some potential in a Halloween anthology series, but the third film wasn’t the time to do that and this concept certainly wasn’t capable of matching its predecessors; I’d also wager that if this film didn’t have “Halloween” in its title then no one would have ever seen it and it’d be lost to the mists of time, which really tells you everything you need to know about this misfire of a movie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Halloween III : Season of the Witch? What did you think to the attempt to take the series in a new direction with an unrelated story? How clued up are you on Samhain and the pagan origins of the season? Did you enjoy the mystery element of the film and the gory kills? What did you think to Cochran’s plan and his execution? Were you a fan of the sudden, potentially bleak ending and do you think Dan was able to interrupt the broadcast? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, and the Halloween franchise, drop a comment below, or leave a comment on my social media, and have a spook-tacular Halloween!

Movie Night: The Crow: City of Angels

Dr. K7 Comments

Released: 30 August 1996
Director: Tim Pope
Distributor: Miramax Films
Budget: $13 million (estimated)
Stars: Vincent Pérez, Mia Kirshner, Richard Brooks, Thuy Trang, Iggy Pop, Thomas Jane, and Eric Acosta

The Plot:
Mechanic Ashe Corven (Pérez) and his young son, Danny (Acosta), are brutally murdered by zealot Judah Earl (Brooks) and his thugs. After being resurrected by a mysterious and supernatural crow, Ashe is guided by the aloof Sarah Mohr (Kirshner) and assumes the guise of a tragic clown to avenge his loss using his newfound superhuman abilities.

The Background:
Beginning as a comic book published by Caliber Comics in 1989, The Crow was the brainchild of James O’Barr. The main character, named simply “Eric”, was modelled after prominent rock musicians and brutally slayed those who killed him and his fiancée as a reaction to the pain and loss O’Barr felt after losing his own fiancée. The Crow became an underground success and, since dark comic book narratives were becoming popular in Hollywood, transitioned into a critically and commercially successful film adaptation despite the accidentally on-set death of star Brandon Lee. While The Crow (Proyas, 1994) is regarded by many as a cult hit, the same accolades can’t be said about its sequel, which came as a direct response to the financial success of the first film. Initially, director Tim Pope and writer David S. Goyer planned to take the sequel in a different direction to avoid copying or emulating the original movie. They pitched having Sarah become a female Crow (a concept later explored in the comic books) or setting the story in the 19th century before ultimately settling on another tale of urban vengeance. It was the producers, however, who most directly engineered the film to be more of a carbon copy of the first, dramatically cutting down Pope’s original 160-minute cut into a jumbled mess of muddy visuals and confusing plot points. Despite the popularity of the first film, The Crow: City of Angels failed to recapture the magic of its predecessor; it barely grossed over $25 million at the box office and has been met with scathing criticism for its awful execution, lacklustre lead actor, and woeful narrative and pacing. Despite this, Miramax continued producing Crow movies and spin-offs, and some have even argued that The Crow: City of Angels is an under-rated entry in the franchise. Spoiler alert: I am not one of them but, as The Crow is one of my favourite movies and tonight is “Devil’s Night”, I figured this would be a good opportunity to look back on this shambles of a film and see how it holds up.

The Review:
I’ve been a huge fan of The Crow ever since I was a kid and randomly stumbled upon it on one of our many VHS tapes; it took me a little while to be equally impressed with the bleak and harrowing comic book, but the film had a huge impact on me at a time when I was really getting into dark and gritty comic book comics, stories, and anti-heroes. While the story didn’t really lend itself to a sequel since everything was wrapped up nicely in the film and it seemed very self-contained, the concept leaves plenty of wriggle room for other avatars to be resurrected and seek justice (or revenge, depending on your perspective) for the wrongs they suffered in death. It’s not as if it should really be all that difficult, either; there was plenty of material in James O’Barr’s comic that hadn’t been used in the first film, or was left on the cutting room floor, that could’ve been worked into a new movie, or a reboot. In this regard, I’m okay with new actors taking on the iconic role as the Crow’s very nature allows legacy characters, and I can understand the studio wanting to try and emulate the look, feel, and narrative of the first film, and there’s even some interesting new wrinkles in the lore and concept of The Crow: City of Angels, but the final product and overall execution is lacking in almost every regard beyond the soundtrack and the general moodiness of the film. The first and biggest problem is the lead himself; while I had the faintest idea of who Brandon Lee was prior to The Crow thanks to a vague familiarity (at the time) with the legendary Bruce Lee, I have no idea who Vincent Pérez is and, frankly, still don’t. I have no idea why he, of all people, was cast in such an iconic role; it’d be hard for any actor to fill Lee’s shoes, especially after the tragedy he suffered during filming, but Pérez is incapable of matching Lee’s tortured, charismatic performance and comes across as a pale imitation in his attempts to channel the same mixture of grief, anger, and morose conviction of his predecessor.

Reborn from a violent death, Ashe embarks on a mission of vengeance with a manic theatricality.

Ashe is quite a different character to Eric Draven; rather than being a loved-up rockstar, he’s a mechanic and a single father living in Los Angeles, here rendered as a bleak, gritty, crime-infested hellhole swamped with drugs and rampant violence thanks to the fanatical Judah Earl. Though there are few places free from Judah’s influence; Ashe lived a simple, quiet life near the pier with his beloved son, Danny, but the two were brutally tortured and executed by Judah’s maniacal followers, primarily Kali (Trang) and “Curve” (Pop), after accidentally witnessing them murdering another drug dealer. Some time later (in the first film it was a year; here, we don’t really know, but it can’t be that long as Ashe’s garage/home is largely untouched since his death), the mysterious and semi-supernatural crow brings Ashe back from his watery grave to seek vengeance but, whereas the crow guided Eric and assisted in his similar quest, Ashe is primarily aided by Sarah Mohr (Kirshner), who is all grown up from the last film and working as a melancholic tattoo artist. While Eric rose in a state of confusion, he became committed to his cause after the crow helped him relive his traumatic death; Ashe similarly reawakens confused and disorientated, but is overwhelmed by his situation, as related by Sarah, and reacts with denial and hostility before reluctantly accepting that he’s now an undead spirit of vengeance after being bombarded with memories. Sarah uses Danny’s paints to make Ashe into an imitation of her former friend (even his make-up is a poor facsimile of Eric’s, however, with the white barely visible in the film’s poor lighting and the black only going around his lips rather than covering them) and he throws on a bad-ass trench coat, hops on an equally bad-ass motorcycle, and heads into the misty and filth-ridden streets to track down his killers. Thanks to the crow, Ashe is led to “Spider Monkey” (Vincent Castellanos), where he showcases his dramatic flair, performing sleight of hand and card tricks while toying with his prey, while also exhibiting just how corny and bad Pérez’s acting and line delivery is. This becomes a common theme, with his weird screaming, cackling countenance, odd appropriation of the “One for sorrow” nursery rhyme to now include crows, and desperate attempts to appear menacing only serving to make him appear unhinged. Whereas Eric somewhat revelled in the virtual invincibility and superhuman abilities afforded to him, Ashe wallows in the constant cycle of pain and healing his body goes through when he’s hurt (which, to be fair, is somewhat similar to the comic book Eric) and fluctuates between being violently, maniacally unbalanced when facing his killers, and miserable and brooding when with Sarah or contemplating his newfound afterlife.

Though seeking revenge for his son’s death, this new Crow is tempted to stay behind with Sarah.

While this is reminiscent of his predecessor, Ashe comes off as far gloomier and sullener than Eric, and it’s not like he makes up for it with any decent fight scenes. The few he does have are brief, poorly shot, and completely one-sided in his favour until the end, and we’re even denied decent shoot outs this time around as Ashe largely forgoes firearms (except for when hunting Curve), though he does evoke the crow imagery by stuffing a paper crow into “Nemo’s” (Thomas Jane) mouth, forming Kali’s blood into a crow upon her death, and leaving Curve surrounded by a crow outline of petals. Naturally, Ashe isn’t just out to avenge his death, but is primarily driven to avenge the brutal murder of his son; this causes him the most pain, as Danny was just an innocent, wide-eyed kid (a stupid one, but an innocent one nonetheless) and reliving his murder causes grief and rage to wrack Ashe’s body and, in many ways, makes his plight far worse than Eric’s but this tragedy really belongs in a better movie (or in the hands of a better actor). He goes out of his way to retrieve Danny’s corpse and give him a proper burial and is even visited by Danny’s spirt when he starts to lose his way. This wrinkle is added because, for whatever reason, Ashe develops a strong attraction to Sarah; surprising, as the two have very little chemistry and, while she seems fascinated to see another reborn by the crow and is sympathetic to him, I never got any romantic feelings from her. A snappy, somewhat feisty goth girl who partially narrates the film and has a familial bond with her boss, Noah (Ian Dury), Sarah’s influence over Ashe becomes so strong that he considers staying behind with her. This is juxtaposed by the Day of the Dead festival that’s being celebrated in the city, and through a conversation with a priest (Reynaldo Duran), who tells Ashe that wandering souls can get lost, believing themselves to be alive, and need guidance to achieve eternal rest. Honestly, the idea of a Crow wandering the Earth with no memory of how or why they got there is a fascinating one, and one I believe was strongly emphasised in the original cut of the film, where Ashe decides to stay behind rather than join his son, and Sarah, in death.

Some terrible performances stunt whatever menace Judah and his followers are meant to have.

Of course, this plot is barely notable in the finished film and is used more as motivation to keep Ashe fighting and help him overcome the loss of his powers, courtesy of Judah Earl. I hate to keep making comparisons, but Judah Earl is no Top Dollar (Michael Wincott); he exudes a decent menace and is a reprehensible and zealous figure in his own right, but Richard Brooks’ performance is all over the place as well, ranging from stoic and gravelly to over the top theatre as he proudly proclaims: “I’m your shadow, Ashe! […] I’ve tasted the blood of the crow and taken your power!” Like Top Dollar, Judah Earl is surrounded by a gaggle of cackling, shit-kicking underlings, none of which have any of the personality (however one-note and despicable) of Top Dollar’s and most of whom are constantly out of their minds on Judah’s tainted crack to be little ore than a knock-off combination of Skank (Angel David) and Funboy (Michael Massee). The most notable exceptions, beyond Nemo’s eccentricities, are Kali and Curve. Kali is a sadistic bitch who takes great pleasure in mocking and killing Danny; she also exhibits some martial arts prowess, giving Ashe his first real physical competition, and is one of three characters who I actually enjoyed seeing offed due to her aggravating nature. The other was Curve, played with manic abandon by rock icon Iggy Pop; I’m no fan of Iggy Pop’s music, or his acting, however, and Curve comes across as completely off his rocker, constantly raging about a tattoo Sarah gave him and assaulting the senses with his weird line delivery and atrocious acting (his “Do you think I’m afrai-i-id?” spiel is probably the worst performance I’ve ever seen). While Top Dollar seemed to have his hands in everything and was more about anarchy, Judah’s deal is drugs; he swamps the city with the stuff and has little concern over how badly his merchandise affects people. Once a product of the streets, Judah has taken to spending his time in his penthouse surrounded by the macabre and supernatural, and conveniently has a blind seer on hand Sybil (Tracey Ellis) to fill him (and us) in on the nature of the crow and how harming or killing it can hurt Ashe and render him mortal. Judah Earl takes this one step further, however, and drinks the crow’s blood to become “The Shadow”, a dark version of Ashe who gains all of his supernatural abilities for their final climatic showdown in the streets.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s so interesting and weird to think about the Crow franchise; the premise is incredibly simple and shouldn’t really be that hard to make a gritty, gothic, somewhat low budget film that’s a mixture of action, horror, and romance. It turns out, however, that The Crow was lightning in a bottle; not only did everything about its presentation work exceptionally well, but its reputation was bolstered by Brandon Lee’s tragic death, which has elevated the film above whatever shortcomings it might have to make it a monument to a young actor cut down in his prime. In that regard, you could argue that it didn’t make sense to follow it up, especially so soon after, but to do so with this knock-off, poor quality effort is a real insult to both Lee and O’Barr and comes across as a poor man’s attempt to recapture the magic. While the soundtrack is still pretty strong thanks to Graeme Revell’s haunting score (even if it is basically the same as last time) and some notable names, like White Zombie and Deftones, contributing to the film, the quality of acting takes a dramatic nosedive. Rather than a strong assortment of character actors and charismatic performers, The Crow: City of Angels features a bunch of one-dimensional, underdeveloped scumbags or aggravating performances from people who never should’ve been cast in the first place or actors who had yet to really hit their stride in their art.

Whatever visual appeal this film may have is lost beneath a muddy filter and poor special effects.

Easily the worst aspect of The Crow: City of Angels, though, is the presentation; this was legitimately the first film I’ve ever watched where I’ve criticised the direction and cinematography, and the look and feel of this film is a far cry from the harsh, rugged streets seen in the first film, which was almost a noir thriller in its aesthetic. The sequel swamps every scene in this grimy, mustard-yellow glare; mist and smoke covers everything, making the city appear to be either a poorly-constructed miniature or obscuring sets and real-world locations, and everything looks cheap and rushed, as though the filmmakers were trying to cover their inadequacies with this ugly, choking fog. Honestly, it looks like a homemade movie filmed on a soundstage or in a back garden, it’s that bad and, while the city occasionally seems like one of the worst places you can ever imagine, with its seedy underworld, sex clubs, and bars and such, everything just seems more fake and staged compared to the first movie, and this carries through to the action scenes. Sure, Ashe looks awesome cutting through the fog on his motorcycle, but he gets none of the rooftop-running action of Eric and doesn’t really acquit himself well in fight scenes. More often than not, Ashe simply slaps around and scuffles with his victim rather than threatening them with Poe or mutilating his body to intimidate his opponents, and the only physical challenge he’s presented with comes from Kali, whom he easily dashes out a window thanks to his invulnerability. Otherwise, Ashe’s mission of vengeance is an absolute mess of murky visuals, jerky camera moments, and awful acting; Pérez desperately tries to come off as intimidating when confronting Spider-Monkey but it’s a poor effort made worse by some dodgy CGI effects, and seeing him mock Nemo with a pouting countenance is more disturbing than menacing. Even Ashe’s big fight scene with Kali is ultimately disappointing, being a plodding affair with slow, awkward movements, erratic editing, and some weird contorted body language from Pérez, and his rundown of Curve ends up being a pitiable chase and confrontation thanks to such memorable lines as “Fuck you, bird dick!” and the down-right ugly visual presentation of the film.

Although rendered powerless and unable to save Sarah, Ashe is…somehow…able to destroy Judah Earl.

Fittingly, Ashe’s greatest physical challenge comes in the film’s conclusion; desiring to take the Crow’s power for his own, Judah Earl takes Sarah hostage and, after capturing the crow with a ridiculous amount of ease, has her witness a bizarre ritual where he kills the bird, inflicting Ashe with stigmata for a very on the nose Christ allusion and causing him to plummet from Judah’s high-rise dwelling and be rendered vulnerable. This fulfils Judah’s life-long fascination with death; his stoic demeanour and callous nature isn’t just to try and paint him as a malicious threat, but is because he’s completely numb to the concept of death since he has already experienced, and survived it, before. Having “liked what he saw” in his brief time in Hell, the only pleasure Judah has been able to take since is in the suffering of others, and the power of the crow allows him to indulge this to the fullest extent…however, while much of this is inferred and implied throughout the film, it really only becomes explicit when you know that, apparently, the original script went into greater detail about Judah’s near-death experience as a child. Regardless, thus empowered, Judah (or “The Shadow”, or whatever-the-fuck he’s supposed to be) easily manhandles Ashe, who’s completely helpless against Judah’s superior strength. The cruel zealot takes a sadistic pleasure in stringing Ashe up and lashing him before a raucous crowd but, when he goes to finish him off, Sarah intervenes and takes a knife to the stomach (without him even trying), dying in Ashe’s arms. Spurred on by Danny, who eagerly awaits his return, and enraged at Sarah’s death, Ashe skewers Judah on a piece of scaffold and…somehow…calls up a murder of (presumably) supernatural crows to tear the cruel kingpin into a mess of dodgy CGI. Again, quite how Ashe does this considering he has no powers at this point isn’t explained, nor is it really made clear exactly what the hell’s happening; it’s just another of the many drawbacks to huge chunks of the story being excised from the film, and this is only further reinforced in the rushed and vague ending, which suggests Ashe actually did stay behind rather than what the film is actually going for (which is that he rode off into the fog to be with Danny and, most likely, Sarah).

The Summary:
What happened to Brandon Lee on the set of The Crow was a tragedy. What happened to James O’Barr as a hopeful teenager was a tragedy. The Crow: City of Angels is a tragedy. The whole film is just an ugly, distorted, incoherent mess from start to finish; oh sure, there’s flashes of a somewhat decent sequel here, but everything that’s good about it is based on what worked in the first film and is a mere copy (a shadow, if you will) of it. Rather than taking the formula of its predecessor and expanding upon it, offering more action and bloodshed and more visually interesting fights and kills, The Crow: City of Angels ends up looking like a direct-to-video rush job that completely squanders not only its own premise, but everything that the first movie did so well. The idea of a father returning to enact revenge on those that killed his son is palpable, as is the concept of a crow avatar falling in love with a living female and resisting returning to the grave; hell, even the idea of a sadistic thug stealing the powers of the crow has some merit, but the execution of all of these ideas is ruined by muddy visuals, piss-poor performances, and an absolutely butchered narrative pacing. There’s some cool visuals of the Crow on his motorcycle and dramatically stalking and toying his prey or brooding in the dark, but Vincent Pérez is absolutely terrible here; he does the more melancholic aspects quite well, but his madcap buffoonery, grating accent, and stilted line delivery leave him a charisma-less void, especially compared to his predecessor. Iggy Pop desperately tries to hog every scene but he’s in way over his head here, and I doubt a better script or direction could’ve helped his tone-deaf performance, and Richard Brooks fails to exude any type of menace, even when he’s trying his hardest, thanks to his random descents into mania. Overall, it’s baffling to me that the studio managed to butcher a sequel to The Crow so badly; when its aping the first film, there’s some appeal here, but no one in their right mind would ever choose to watch this over the first movie and it does nothing but leech off of The Crow’s cult appeal in the laziest and most insulting ways possible, leaving us with a patchwork imitation of its predecessor that deserves nothing but scorn and derision.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Am I being too harsh on The Crow: City of Angels? Do you think the film had any chance of living up to the popularity and reputation of its predecessor? What did you think to Vincent Pérez’s performance and Ashe as the new Crow? Did you buy his romance with Sarah, or enjoy his flair for the theatrical? What did you think to Judah Earl and his crew? Did you enjoy the murky, foggy presentation of the film or was it also a struggle to endure? Which of The Crow’s sequels was your favourite, if any, and would you like to see the character return in some form or another in the future? How are you celebrating Devil’s Night tonight? Whatever you think about The Crow: City of Angels, join the discussion below or leave a comment on my social media.

Game Corner [Asterix Anniversary]: Asterix and the Great Rescue (Mega Drive)

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Asterix the Gaul (and his best friend Obelix) first debuted on 29 October 1959 as a serial in the French/Belgium magazine Pilote. Since then, the plucky Gauls have gone on to have many adventures in comic books, videogames, and feature-length productions and Asterix himself has become a popular and enduring character in his native France and beyond as his stories have been translated into over a hundred languages across the world.

Released: November 1993
Developer: Core Design
Also Available For: Game Gear and Master System

The Background:
It didn’t take very long at all for the French comic book series Asterix to make the jump from the comics and into other media; the first Asterix book was adapted into a feature-length animation in 1967 and both animated and live-action Asterix films have been pretty consistent over the years. Similarly, there have been a number of Asterix videogames; the first of these was released for the Atari 2600 in 1983 and one of my absolute favourites was Konami’s arcade game from 1992. Growing up, I had a lot of fun playing Astérix (SEGA, 1991) on the Master System, a colourful and entertaining little platformer that I’ve yet to finish ever thirty years later, and figured that the Mega Drive title would be a good investment. Asterix and the Great Rescue was developed by Core Design, the team behind the classic SEGA title Chuck Rock (Core Design, 1991), and was met with mixed reviews upon release. With today also being the birthday of the SEGA Mega Drive, I figured it was the perfect time to put this game in and see how it holds up compared to its 8-bit counterpart.

The Plot:
The year is 50 BC. Gaul is entirely occupied by the Romans. Well, not entirely… One small village of indomitable Gauls still holds out against the invaders and life is not easy for the Roman legionnaires thanks to the Gauls’ magic potion, which gives them superhuman strength. Like in many Asterix videogames, the Romans kidnap the village druid, Getafix, to stunt the village’s supply of magic potion so their bravest warriors, Asterix and Obelix, set out to rescue Getafix and teach those crazy Romans a lesson.

Gameplay:
Asterix and the Great Rescue is a 2D, sidescrolling action platformer in which one player gets to pick between Asterix and Obelix before each journey across six Levels to rescue the druid Getafix from the Romans. Disappointingly, unlike in the majority of Asterix videogames, there’s very little actual difference between Asterix and Obelix; both characters move at the same plodding speed, have the same amount of health, jump at the same height, and have exactly the same special abilities. Indeed, the only discernable difference I could identify is that Obelix’s hit box is larger (due to his characteristic girth) but it’s not like Asterix’s is that much smaller. You can customise the game’s controls from the main “Options” menu but the default setup is functional as is. Players can jump with A, attack with a punch with B, and use a “Special Weapon” with C. Pressing up on the directional pad (D-pad) in conjunction with C allows you to pick from four different Special Weapons while pressing down on the D-pad allows you to crouch and crawl to avoid incoming projectiles.

Rooms can be short but also painfully frustrating at times.

Sadly, considering the characters’ and comics’ focus on madcap fighting, combat is extremely disappointing and limited here; there are no jumping attacks, your punches have a pathetically short range, and the only additional combat option available to you is that you can hold down B to perform a series of rapid punches while moving to take out groups of enemies faster. Asterix and the Great Rescue is constructed in a strangely confusing way; there are six Levels, each split into four “Huts” and each Hut has up to three “Rooms”. The wording is very confusing as you’re not necessarily inside of a hut or a room as you might think but what it actually boils down to is six levels, four worlds, and up to four zones in each world and I guess the developers thought it would be “fun” to supplant this usual videogame terminology with terms from the comic book. While six Levels might not seem a lot, the game is actually surprisingly long; the Rooms are generally short sprints asking little more from you than to travel to the right, bashing enemies, and reaching the goal (“magic elixir” for Asterix and a roast boar for Obelix) but you’ll also be tasked with finding keys, performing some tricky jumps, or navigating some confusing areas.

Your biggest obstacles are the time limit, hit boxes, and obtuse nature of the gameplay.

Your greatest enemy in each Room will be the time limit; every Room has a time limit that is anywhere from less than a minute to two minutes of game time and, if you fail to reach the goal before the time runs out, you’ll lose a life and have to restart from the beginning of the Room. There’s very little room for error in some of these Rooms and, if you mess up or take too long, then that’s just too damn bad as there are no checkpoints. Thankfully, you can acquire extra lives by earning enough points or stumbling upon a beating heart pickup. You start each game with three lives and three credits and, when you lose all of your lives, you’ll be given the option to cash in a credit and continue from the start of the last Room you played but, if you use up your credits, it’s game over. After clearing each Level, you get a password to jump to later in the game, which is helpful, but the damage you sustain throughout the game carries over to each Room, which is extremely frustrating, and you’ll find an abundance of bottomless pits as you progress, which mean instant death.

Gameplay is very inconsistent, being ridiculously easy one minute and frustratingly difficult the next.

Gameplay in Asterix and the Great Rescue is extremely inconsistent and frustrating; generally you just have to fight your way to the goal but other times you have to dodge bursts of fire, press switches to progress further, dodge falling blocks or incoming boulders, or hop around moving or temporary platforms to get through the Room. This can be extremely frustrating as some enemies are too small to hit, others take multiple hits to defeat, and it’s not always clear what you have to do in order to progress; all too often, platforms will suddenly drop underneath you, animals or bridges will collapse after carrying you across gaps, and you’ll need pixel-perfect timing to reach far away platforms. You’ll also need to hop across lava pits, make a number of blind jumps, contend with murky water that slows you down, teleport across Rooms using special statues, or use a series of bubbles, springs, and catapults to travel higher and further. Spikes, thorns, spiked balls, flames, and rotating platforms all compound matters, making avoiding damage extremely difficult even when playing on “Easy” mode, where enemies are less frequent and aggressive. Thankfully, there’s no knockback from taking damage but my experience was that my character would simply keel over and die more often than not since their hit box is so big that it’s extremely difficult to avoid being hit (especially when you get dropped literally right into the path of oncoming enemies in some Rooms).

Graphics and Sound:
Asterix and the Great Rescue has a lot of promise but doesn’t quite manage to deliver in terms of its graphics. Sprites are colourful and faithful to the comics, for example, but not especially big or full of animation frames; there are no idle animations, for instance, and neither Asterix, Obelix, or their enemies exude the same charming humour as they do in the comics or even the Master System game. Environments can similarly be very hit and miss; the Gaulish village is beautiful to behold but little more than a tutorial to learn the basic controls. Occasionally, you’ll see familiar Asterix characters like Unhygienix in the background but he’s wildly out of proportion compared to the avatar’s sprites. Other times, the background will be quite sparse (a simple night sky) or somewhat detailed but then it’ll also look really crude (especially in the Forest and Rome levels). There are a lot of different environments to explore, however. You’ll travel from the Gauls’ village, cross the dock, enter a Roman camp, explore a dense forest and jump through the treetops and past gigantic spider’s webs, battle through dungeons in Germany, hop across clouds and birds and wander around stages made out of Frankfurters, pass through an ice Room (with some impressive snowflake effects falling over the screen) on the way to a Roman galley, and finally jump and fight through water ruins, an ornate garden, a lavish banquet hall, and the coliseum in Rome.

Levels are quite varied and can be quite bit but they’re hampered by the constant ticking clock.

All of these are locations that will be familiar to any Asterix fan but, for most videogame players, will seem very by-the-numbers for the average platformer and full of clichés such as weighted switches, temporary platforms, and rising or moving platforms. A lot of the time it can be difficult to tell where you need to go as you can sometimes pass through certain walls but not others, despite them both looking the same, and you’ll need to experiment with your Special Weapons in order to progress (if you have enough time left to figure that out, of course). I did experience a bit of slow down at times, which is quite ludicrous as there’s rarely a lot happening on screen, and some graphical hiccups here and there. The music is quite jazzy, however; it’s not especially varied but it’s decent enough, and certainly far better than the game’s sound effects. The game’s story is told through text and a recreation of the map of the invaded Gaul, all of which will be more than familiar to any Asterix reader. Though the game’s title screen leaves a lot to be desire, each Level is proceeded by a pretty nice still picture of the famous duo but you’ll have to wait for the final screen on the game for anything resembling any kind of impressive sprite art and even then it’s basically just a partially animated still.

Enemies and Bosses:
As any self-respecting Asterix fan might expect, your primary enemies in this game will be the Romans. Roman soldiers charge at you with spears, march along in groups wielding swords, toss spears at you from above, and gold-armoured Centurions will also show up to try and skewer you as you progress. These are all pulled straight from the comics and even include Roman’s hiding in tree disguises; most of them will go down in just one hit but the more rotund and golden Romans will take two to three hits. You’ll also have to content with woodland critters scurrying and flying your way, axe-throwing Germans, German maidens who explode when you get too near, mermaids and sea creatures, archers whose arrows stay on screen way too long, Romans trying to jab you from beneath with their swords, spiders and other bugs, dogs, and even hatchlings trying to take a bit out of your ass. By far the worst obstacle is the mule-kicking horses who will send you flying clear across the screen; I swear you need as much luck as you do skill to time your jumps past those assholes!

It makes sense to be fighting Romans but Cacofonix is a strange choice for a boss…

Each Level culminates in a boss battle, the first of which is, oddly, against the village bard Cacofonix (I know he’s an annoyance in the comics but to make him a boss seems a bit extreme). Cacofonix stands in one spot atop his tree hut and spits musical notes at you from his lyre and can only be damaged by hopping on top of one of village chief Vitalstatistix’s shield bearers and tossing rotten fish at him. It takes a lot of hits to finally put the bard down so, again, your biggest enemy here is the time limit as it’s pretty easy to avoid his musical notes by standing in the right spots. The second boss fight sees a Roman encampment firing rocks at you; these must be hit back over and over again until the camp finally surrenders to your might. After this, a Roman soldier awaits you on a log and will instantly force you to your death unless you mash A, B, and right as fast as possible to knock him off instead but, of course, the game never tells you any of this so it is easy to simply fail time and time again.

After besting many enemies, the last two Levels culminate in battles against large, voracious animals!

The final Room of Germany has you desperately outracing a rising sea of red and taking out enemies as you make your way up to a goal which, again, is more a test of your skill and patience with the game’s controls than any sort of actual combat. On the Roman Galley, you’ll be attacked by a gigantic alligator (or is it a crocodile?); simply hop up onto the platforms to avoid the creature’s snapping jaws and then jump down to smack him in the head but watch out for his massive hit box clipping your avatar. The finale sees Julius Caesar set two vicious tigers against you in the Coliseum; these will randomly pop in and out of archways under Caesar’s view box and must be smacked whenever they appear and hopped over to avoid damage. Like all of the game’s bosses, though, this is simply a test of patience and landing hits before you get a time out and the bosses are, by far, the least challenging aspect of the game.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
There are numerous items to pick up and collect in Asterix and the Great Rescue; you’ll find gold coins, bags of coins, and Roman helmets, all of which will add to your score and bring you one step closer to an extra life. You can also replenish your health either partially or fully by collecting pieces of roast chicken or a chalice, respectively, and you can grab a sickle for a brief period of invincibility or a bomb to enter “Mega Attitude Mode”, which increases your speed and strength so you can blast through enemies and obstacles.

Special Weapons are useful but limited and you won’t always have to to backtrack for more ammo.

The main thing to keep an eye out for, though, are the gourds that you’ll find scattered throughout each Room. These will give you ammo for your Special Weapons and will respawn when you move the screen a little bit. Your Special Weapons are essential to your progress but it’s not always abundantly clear where or when you have to use them (such as the first screen of Rome where you’re seemingly trapped but actually have to blast a wall that doesn’t appear to be destructible). The Fireball adds a ranged attack to your arsenal and can be used to destroy certain blocks, hit targets, or deactivate certain traps; the Ice Block (which is actually a cloud) creates a temporary platform to allow you to reach higher areas or cross spike or lava pits safely (if you can get the angle of the throw right…); the Disguise covers you in a series of vines and flowers so that enemies will walk right past you; and Levitation allows you to (chunkily) float about using the D-pad to avoid spikes and reach higher or further areas. 

Additional Features:
There’s not really much else on offer in Asterix and the Great Rescue beyond the single-player experience; there’s no two-player simultaneous play, meaning that the only way for two players to play is to take it in turns, and no real benefit to playing as either of the two main characters. You can tackle the game on a harder difficulty setting and try to get your name at the top of the high score table but the game is so tough anyway that I wouldn’t recommend it. There aren’t even any decent cheats for the game as the password system is simply for jumping to the game’s levels so you’ll probably be done with this game after one playthrough or session.

The Summary:
Boy, was I disappointed with Asterix and the Great Rescue. Once again, I as met with a 16-bit iteration of a videogame that pales in comparison to its bright, humourous, and fun 8-bit counterpart; you know it’s bad when even the Master System’s game gives Asterix and Obelix different abilities and playstyles and has more gameplay variety. Honestly, I can’t even say that this game looks good as, compared to other games of a similar genre that came out at the same time, Asterix and the Great Rescue looks and sounds like 1989 Mega Drive title rather than a 1993 release. Clunky, awkward controls, a rubbish combat system, confusing and frustrating gameplay, and just a complete lack of entertainment and engagement make Asterix and the Great Rescue an extremely disappointing title that saves itself from a one-star review simply because I am a big fan of the comics and characters but, honestly, I wouldn’t recommend anyone actually bother playing this letdown of a game.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Asterix and the Great Rescue? How do you think it compares to other Asterix videogames and games of its genre? Did you enjoy the title and feel I’m being too harsh on it or do you agree that it was a frustrating and disappointing mess of a game? Which character, book, or movie is your favourite? How are you celebrating Asterix and Obelix’s anniversary, and the release of the Mega Drive, this year? Whatever your thoughts on Asterix, feel free to leave a comment below or on my social media.