Author: Dr. K

Game Corner [Asterix Anniversary]: Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 (Xbox Series X)

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Asterix the Gaul first debuted on 29 October 1959 in the French/Belgium magazine Pilote. Since then, Asterix has become a popular and enduring character as his stories have been translated into over a hundred languages across the world.

Released: 17 November 2023
Developer: Mr Nutz Studio
Also Available For: Nintendo Switch, PC, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series S

The Background:
Within ten years of his debut in the pages of Pilote, the first Asterix book came to the silver screen as a feature-length animation and, alongside numerous animated and live-action Asterix films, we’ve seen multiple Asterix videogames. His first outing released on the Atari 2600 in 1983, though I’m more familiar with his SEGA-based outings and impressive arcade venture. While this game never received home console port, it eventually gained a spiritual sequel in Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! (Mr Nutz Studio, 2021), a visually impressive title that offered action-packed arcade action. Surprisingly, this was followed by a sequel two years later, one that added a few new gameplay mechanics and environments to the existing engine. Unfortunately, while Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 was still praised for its visuals, reviews criticised the same tedious beat-‘em-up gameplay and noted that it was barely distinguishable from the first game.

The Plot:
When the Lutetia Eagle, the precious golden emblem of the Roman legions, is stolen and an innocent man is blamed, Asterix and Obelix travel ancient Gaul to discover the true culprit.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Like its predecessor, Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 is a 2D, sidescrolling arcade-style beat-‘em-up. As before, players can either go it alone as either Asterix or Obelix or team with a friend to fight Romans across over fifteen stages. Sadly, no additional characters were added and Asterix and Obelix are almost unchanged from the previous game. You still jump with A and throw a quick, basic attack with X that can easily be mashed for simple combos. Tapping or holding Y throws your special attack, either a unique charged punch or charged uppercut. Obelix has a unique axehandle smash and slams into the ground with his butt when you press Y while jumping while Asterix spins about and stuns nearby enemies. You’ll see some distinction when using B, too, which sees you pick up sandals for points or food for health or grab enemies. Asterix can only grab smaller enemies and is limited to swinging them over his head or throwing them, while Obelix can also grab larger enemies, slap their faces, and pound them into the ground. Holding the Right Trigger blocks incoming attacks, double tapping left or right sees you dash, and you can now pick up and throw barrels with B. The “Slap” mechanic from the first game is gone and special attacks no longer consume energy. Instead, a new energy meter fills as you attack, and can expend it when it’s partially or completely full.

Aside from two new mediocre combat mechanics, gameplay is the same if not less than before.

When it’s partially full, the Left Bumper engages “Fury” mode. In this state, your character is faster and stronger, and this mode last for as long as you have meter energy. When it’s full, the Right Bumper unleashes your “Ultimate” attack, which sees Asterix dash across the screen at high speed and Obelix cause menhirs to fall, taking out (or severely damaging) all enemies. When playing with a friend, you can revive them with B but, when playing alone, you switch character with the Left Trigger. If one is defeated, you can continue as the other but you’ll have to restart the stage if both are defeated as there are still no checkpoints. Therefore, I still recommend playing as one character until you’re forced to swap, smashing crates and tables to collect Sestertii for points and apples or roast boar for health. As before, there are no weapons to use and some gameplay mechanics are missing (there are no races or timed events this time). Instead, gameplay variety is limited to some branching paths, climbing ladders or cliffs, and some destructible elements, which is a bit of a shame. Sometimes, you’ll be asked to go to the left, which is unusual for a beat-‘em-up; other times, you’ll enter caves and avoid falling boulders and such. Otherwise, it’s the same tedious beat-‘em-up action as before. You can smash tables, spiked barriers, battle across logs and bridges, and smash down doors and rocks, and you’re again forced to constantly pummel large waves of enemies. There are three difficulty settings, with the number and aggression of enemies increasing on harder difficulties, but the points don’t do anything except display your “hiscore” for each stage and there are no collectibles or Easter Eggs beyond various cameos.

Presentation:  
Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 retains the gorgeous, hand drawn style of the first game and is again five-star visual experience. Asterix and Obelix mirror their animated ventures and sport a range of animations, from bursting into the scene to celebrating at the end of a stage. They once again offer quips and observations, though they’re largely recycled from the first game; however, there is more voice acting and cutscenes to advance to admittedly weak story. Cutscenes use the in-game graphics and large portrait art, resembling a motion comic and sadly restricting certain actions like platforming and knocking over trees to create bridges to non-playable sequences. While the game’s music is still a letdown, comic book sound effects still punctuate the slapstick action and enemies showcase the same cartoonish animations. Backgrounds are filled with fun visuals, from the bustling Gaulish village and its recognisable characters to obscure cameos from the likes of Codfix. Wild boar, birds, and other animals scatter as you progress, Roman legions and weapons line the backgrounds, and you’ll see the pirates’ wrecked ship and Romans frozen in the frigid wastelands of the Norman region. Dogmatix also accompanies you on your journey, though purely as a cosmetic companion, and you’ll see the Romans’ dirty laundry drying, the streets clogged with carts, the markets of Lutetia bustling with life, and constantly avoid incoming chariots or Romans carrying large battering rams.

Though still a visual treat, the visual variety is lacking and much is recycled from the last game.

Sadly, the environments are largely indistinguishable from the first game. You begin, as always, in the Gauls’ village and spend a lot of time in the surrounding forest and woodlands, fighting through a nearby Roman camp and battling across cliffsides. A few stages are themed around the road to Lutetia, which is mostly cobblestone countryside and docks. The city itself is fun, but painfully restricted and recycles the arena stages from the last game, and I was again left disappointed by how mundane the game’s environments are when Asterix is known for his colourful, globe-trotting adventures. Sure, you’ll tear apart an inn full of reprobates, explore underground caverns, and marvel at the aurora borealis and frozen landscape when battling the Normans, but it’s disappointing that these games have less visual variety than Konami’s arcade title and don’t visit places like Egypt, Spain, or India. You do explore the ruins of the Mansions of the Gods, though this merely amounts to some Graeco-Roman architecture dotted about the environment. Gluteus Maximus returns, in a boxing ring no less, and you’ll battle Redbeard and his pirates on his wrecked ship. You also battle through the marble halls and treasure rooms of the Edifice, but I honestly struggled to tell the game’s environments apart from its predecessor’s. There are some drizzle, rain, snow, and day and night elements and I liked the skulls skewered on sticks in the Viking village, but the game plays things far too safe and appears more like downloadable content than an entirely original adventure.

Enemies and Bosses:
Sadly, this extends to the game’s repertoire of enemies as well, which are largely recycled from the first game. Sure, it appears like there’s more onscreen at once (helped by the many narrow areas) but it’s disappointing there wasn’t more variety. You encounter the same Romans as before, from disposable minions to fatter variants, slender spear tossers, and bigger, tougher ones who block your attacks. Some Romans hide in bushes and tree stumps, chucking poisonous potions to stun you; others carry battering rams or attack with swords; and they’ll even fight with other enemies when the game mixes up the enemy types. These include the usual assortments of pirates and brigands who race at you with their fists flailing, toss daggers, or wield nunchakus and axes. Larger, armoured gladiators also reappear, again armed with tridents and a speedy dash. Lions crop up in the arena and the hulking Normans naturally show up in their homeland. They’re joined by a smaller archer variant, there’s a smaller dual-bladed pirate variant, and Nubian fighters also show up, with some enemies sporting a wake-up attack that can be especially aggravating. The barbarian-like Belgians can be a real pain with their club swings and fast reflexes, horses will kick from stables, and it’s easy to be pummelled if you’re caught in a corner or trapped between large groups of enemies, which can be very frustrating.

Bosses are more disappointing than ever since most are simple gauntlets or returning enemies.

Unfortunately, Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 still relies on throwing seemingly endless waves of enemies at you to close most stages. A recurring boss is the returning Centurian variant who charge on horseback and mule kick you before resorting to their swords. Gluteus Maximus challenges you to a rematch in a boxing ring, Redbeard battles you alongside Clovogarlix (the unscrupulous rogue who’s your main target for most of the story), and you also rematch Olaf Timandahaf. While you often battle multiple centurions, larger Romans, Normans, and hulking gladiators alongside these and other bosses, they seem much easier than before, folding like paper on “Easy” mode (though you must defeat all enemies, not just the boss, to win). You’ll encounter Prolix the Soothsayer a few times, with him first eluding you and then conjuring lightning bolts as you battle waves of enemies before he seemingly randomly falls. Similarly, the mysterious thief pops up now and then, evading you throughout the story and then collapsing after one hit and some giant Vikings attack in their village. Although this game doesn’t end with a mind-numbing gauntlet against its toughest enemies, you must still endure a coliseum bout in Lutetia and the final battle isn’t against the game’s main bad guy, Pickinghydrangus, but instead a swarm of enemies, making for an equally lacklustre finale.

Additional Features:
There are thirty-two Achievements in Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2, with a whopping eighteen awarded for clearing the entire game. You get two Achievements for performing each character’s Ultimate attack, one for entering Fury mode, one for picking up sandals, and one for clearing any stage without switching character. More Achievements are earned for performing every move for each character in a single stage, finishing one without eating food, and for collecting food with your health is full. Despite having three difficulty settings and a co-op mode, there are no Achievements tied to either of these and the game once again lacks any substantial extras. Beating the game unlocks a level select and that’s it; there’s no boss rush, no alternate costumes or skins, and no concept art. It’s as barebones as the first game, which is really disappointing considering there seems to be less in this one that in its predecessor!

The Summary:
When I saw the first trailer for Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2, I thought it looked incredibly similar to the first game. I could see the animations, enemies, and voice clips were recycled, to say nothing of the environments. Sadly, playing it reveals that this is very much the case. It’s not that it’s bad; like the last game, it’s a perfectly functional arcade-stye beat-‘em-up, but it’s just so barebones! Sure, a lot of the repetitive aspects have been toned down but mechanics like the racing sections and timed challenges have been removed and the bosses feel dumbed down, requiring little strategy beyond relentlessly attacking them and strategic use of the new Fury and Ultimate attacks. These were…okay, but hardly worth a full price game. It’s so weird as Justforkix features in the story, so why not make him a playable character or a skin for Asterix? Why not add menhirs to Obelix’s moveset, or temporary power-ups? Why not add mini games or new elements, like battling across boats on raging waters or through the skies on a magic carpet? Instead, it’s the same trees and forests and repetitive environments with little variation beyond blocking paths with oxen and carts. Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2 feels like a throwback to when the likes of Capcom would churn out game after game with little changes between them, only it’s worse because so much has been recycled. There is so much variety in the locations, characters, and enemies in the Asterix books and almost none of it is represented here, meaning the best Asterix beat-‘em-up experience is still an arcade game that’s nearly thirty years old and inaccessible beyond emulation! I was tempted to knock off a star since the game doesn’t expand on its predecessor in any meaningful way but, in the end, it’s the same fun but limited experience and that’s sadly all I can say about this otherwise visually impressive title.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you played Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2? If so, how do you think it measures up against its predecessor? Did you enjoy the new attack options? Were you disappointed to see so many elements recycled from the last game? What is your favourite Asterix videogame, story, or adaptation? Whatever your thoughts on Asterix & Obelix: Slap Them All! 2, or Asterix in general, feel free to leave a comment below and check out my other Asterix content across the site.

Game Corner: Spawn: Armageddon (PlayStation 2)

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Released: 21 November 2003
Developer: Point of View
Also Available For: GameCube and Xbox

The Background:
After making his debut in the comic book industry with his work on Coyote, avid artist Todd McFarlane stood out from his peers by revitalising The Amazing Spider-Man with his signature art style. In time, McFarlane became dissatisfied with his lack of creative control at Marvel and established Image Comics alongside other Marvel creatives in 1992. Image was led by Al Simmons/Spawn, a hellborn anti-hero first dreamed up by McFarlane as a teenager. Spawn #1 was a record-setting hit and became the most successful creator-owned comic of all-time. This led to a widely panned live-action adaptation, a beloved animated series, numerous toys, and a handful of videogames. Spawn’s first videogame outing was Todd McFarlane’s Spawn: The Video Game (Ukiyotei, 1995) which set a precedent for his subsequent outings, which garnered mixed reviews across the board. Developers Point of View sought to deliver the definitive Spawn experience in 2003, though there’s sadly little information available online about the development of this game. I can tell you, however, that Spawn: Armageddon received mixed reviews that criticised the repetitive gameplay, though some have praised it as an enjoyable enough title.

The Plot:
When the demonic forces of Malebolgia invade New York City, signalling the onset of Armageddon, Lieutenant Colonel Al Simmons/Spawn turns his supernatural powers against the hordes of Heaven and Hell to defend humanity.

Gameplay and Power-Ups:
Spawn: Armageddon is a third-person action brawler that focuses on melee, gunplay, and magical attacks courtesy of Spawn’s finite “Necroplasm”. Unfortunately, rather than striking a balance between high intensity, action-packed combat and emphasising stylish combo attacks like the Devil May Cry series (Capcom/Ninja Theory, 2001 to present), Spawn: Armageddon limits the player to a handful of melee attacks, assorted regular and supernatural firearms, lacklustre demon powers, and aggravating platforming sections. Offering three difficulty levels (which alter the strength of your enemies) and favouring a mission-based structure, Spawn: Armageddon sees you cutting down demon entities with Spawn’s “Agony Axe” (formed from his sentient cape) with Circle, jumping, double jumping, and gliding short distances with his tattered cape with X, and awkwardly using his chains (fired from his crotch!) to grapple with L1. Players fire Spawn’s currently equipped firearm with Square and unleash his Hell Powers with Triangle, using the directional pad to switch between them. You can (and should) hold R1 to target enemies, though there doesn’t seem to be a way to cycle your targets and you only target the closest one, can hit an axe slam by pressing Circle in mid-air, and open doors with X. Weapons are found as you explore the restrictive, bland environments and each needs ammo. In lieu of your guns, you can attack with your crotch chains, though defeated enemies and smashed crates will yield ammo to keep you topped up.

Switch your weapons depending on who you’re facing and battle the game’s awful camera.

Enemies and crates also drop coloured “Souls” you must collect. Green Souls replenish your Necroplasm, allowing you to use Spawn’s Hell Powers; Red Souls replenish your health; and you trade Blue Souls for upgrades between missions. From here, you can increase Spawn’s maximum health and ammo and the damage output of your guns, though each upgrade costs progressively more so I’d focus on increasing your health since there are no mid-mission checkpoints. Spawn has a shotgun for close-quarters combat, dual pistols, a sub-machine gun, a mini-gun, the Brimstone Cannon, a missile launcher, and the Inferno Cannon, with the latter requiring a charge and larger weapons (such as the mini-gun) weighing you down. Spawn can toss Necroplasm fireballs, fire an energy beam, erect a shield, and use “bullet time” to pummel enemies for as long as his meter lasts. Some enemies are weaker to certain attacks than others; they’ll shrug off your Necroplasm attacks and your explosives do minimal damage, so you must whittle them down with bullets. Like many elements, this isn’t as deep or as developed as it could be. It would’ve been interesting to see demons weak to bullets and angels weak to your Hell Powers, for example. Spawn’s axe combos aren’t very useful or complex, either, and I often forgot I had it. While you’ll largely be jumping or gliding over gaps or grappling about, Spawn can also wall jump. Unfortunately, the finnicky camera and Spawn’s clunky-ass controls make these platforming tricks frustrating. Spawn cannot block and has few options to avoid damage. He can be easily stun-locked and ragdolled by projectiles, making combat aggravating. It doesn’t help that Spawn: Armageddon throws waves of enemies at you, which just serves to expose how shallow and unfulfilling the combat is.

Tedious combat is awkwardly married with clunky platforming, delivering a lacklustre experience.

Spawn is often confined by Hellfire barriers or mist dispel or destroy skeletal Guardians once all nearby enemies are dispatched. Each mission has a specific objective you can review from the pause menu, but these mainly focus on destroying all enemies, activating switches, or spawning (pun intended) the end goal. In between awkwardly jumping up walls or between moving platforms, you’ll often destroy objects like junction boxes, generators, and power nodes for Heaven’s ominous space station. This opens doors, lowers barriers, or re-routes power to new areas, though it’s often unclear where you need to go or what you need to do as there is no map system and no onscreen indication of your objectives or when you’ve met them (beyond the end goal appearing). This was especially aggravating in the newspaper factory, where I activated a bunch of switches and was left clueless how to reach a higher platform. In the end, getting Spawn on top of a printing press and forcing the double jump and glide to barely get him close enough to ledge grab was the key. I was equally frustrated when disabling auto turrets, attacking gargoyles to raise bridges in Hell, and following blood trails in the subway since some gaps were very difficult to clear thanks to Spawn’s useless glide and grapple. When inside buildings, the game becomes uncomfortably claustrophobic and difficult to navigate as every area looks the same. When outside, the camera gets stuck and blocks your view. Heavenly bolts can rain down upon you, enemies constantly teleport in, you’ll take lifts and portals to new areas. Spawn must also struggle past laser defences and flame bursts, which only adds to the frustration when navigating the floating platforms and narrow stone columns of Hell. While dropping down pits usually resets you on solid ground, it’s an instant game over when descending deeper into the volcanic malebolge and good luck figuring out the looping, maze-like hallways of the Angel Station.

Presentation:
Spawn: Armageddon makes a good first impression. The pre-rendered cinematics bring Todd McFarlane’s distinctive art to life and suggest a game that’s going to at least be visually interesting to look at. You’re only further encouraged when Keith David reprises his celebrated portrayal of the titular anti-hero, but things quickly take a turn with the in-game graphics and painfully generic rock/metal soundtrack. Obviously, you have to give the game some leeway as it is a PlayStation 2 title but…damn, do these character models and environments look ugly and generic. I want to say Spawn fares the best since he closely resembles McFarlane’s artwork but he’s very clunky and struggles to navigate the largely claustrophobic locations. Keith David tries to add some gravitas to the action, punctuation victories with low chuckles and commenting on what’s happening around him, and Spawn’s cape impresses with it unfurls, but it’s odd to me that Spawn looks so low-res when Dante looked sleek and sexy just two years earlier. I liked that demonic creatures like the Violator and Malebolgia communicated through telepathy like in the animated series, though the game is disappointingly light on recognisable characters and villains from the comics. While cutscenes utilise both pre-rendered and in-game graphics, with Spawn being aided/mocked by Mammon throughout, it seems the developers ran out of time or money as major events are often relayed through text prior. This became increasingly noticeable as the game progressed and they were often used to explain a sudden shift in location, but the execution just felt very lazy and cheap to me.

Despite some strong visuals, the game struggles to leave a lasting impression.

You start the game in the heart of the city and return there often, clumsily wall jumping and hopping across rooftops as you defend Spawn’s alley, Rat City. You can destroy fire hydrants, cars, and bins for goodies and may notice the music awkwardly skipping, looping, or cutting out. This quasi-open environment is then replaced with the restrictive newspaper factory, a warehouse-like interior full of large printing presses that are deceptively difficult to climb on. Spawn raids Jason Wynn’s elaborate office building, though the luxurious corridors and offices aren’t much to shout about. However, I liked the wider foyer with its staircases and rooms were often ransacked, splattered with blood and corpses. Things switch back to generic, muddy, and dull as you explore the docks (you might want to adjust your television’s brightness settings for this game, just saying). While things were more visually interesting in the dilapidated subway, it was equally difficult to figure out where to go as everything looks the same. Spawn fends off angels outside city hall and spends a few missions in a twisted, nightmarish bastardisation of Central Park. Though you’re confined to a set path, the gnarled trees, burning Hellfire, and freakish enemies made this an enjoyable section. After battling in a disappointingly bland opera house (save for the giant props), Spawn’s forced to retreat to Hell to subdue his angelic counterpart, Anti-Spawn/The Redeemer. Hell is a volcanic mess of flame bursts, floating rocks, and chains floating around a central tower. After striking a deal with Malebolgia, Spawn fights through the Angel Tower and into the Angel Station, easily the most visually interesting and repetitive areas. While I enjoyed the ethereal lights, marble-like stone, the strange mixture of alien and otherworldly technology, this was a confusing mess of samey corridors that I was glad to see the back of.

Enemies and Bosses:
Spawn’s most recurring enemies here are imps, scrambling little demons who attack in groups, slashing with their claws, leaping at you, or tossing fireballs from afar. Luckily, they’re very weak and easily disposed of, as are the Hell Leeches that often burrow up from the ground and vomit Necroplasm-draining spit. Flying imps can be a bit trickier as they attack from afar while slaughtered corpses rise as flailing Meat Puppets whose torsos claw their way across the floor. While raiding Wynn’s office, you battle both his armed troops and possessed variants, who are noticeably feeble, unlike the twisted Tree demons who haunt Central Park. Often, these demonic forces are bolstered by the unsightly Lamenting Demon, a thrashing monstrosity that spawns floating eyes and is best fought from a distance. The Berserkers were some of the more annoying enemies as they leap at you with blade arms, strike fast, and take a lot of punishment a d made tougher when joined by the durable Whip Demons. Perhaps the most bizarre of Malebolgia’s forces are the Claw Demons, distinctly crab-like demons that scuttle around and lunge with their large front claws. You’ll also battle the formidable forces of Heaven, who teleport about in a blaze of Heavenly light and attack with lances, rain projectiles, and wield Brimstone Cannons. Angels were easily the most tiresome foes, especially in the Angel Station, where they just kept spawning. The space station’s crew also appear here; angels in their purest form, they travel as beams of Heavenly light and share a health bar, though your Necroplasm attacks can whittle them down quite nicely.

The game doesn’t use enough of Spawn’s rogues but, when it does, they’re the best bosses.

Many enemies are recycled as mini boss encounters, like when you battle angels outside City Hall and when the Hellhole opens in Central Park and you’re forced to fend off waves of Newborn demons who pose a significant threat if you’re low on ammo and Necroplasm. You’ll twice battle the Spider Tank, an arachnid mech possessed by demons; once in the docks and then in the more restrictive military warehouse. Either way, it lurches at you firing mini guns and a powerful front cannon, though it’s vulnerable from the rear. While in the docks, you contend with a hellish bulldozer, which tries to run you down and spawns Berserkers. Its weak spot (a disturbing, tentacle-like tongue) is only briefly exposed and is difficult to hit with those nippy bastards distracting you. This battle echoes the one against the brutish Michael Konieczni/Cy-Gor. This cybernetic ape fills a narrow alleyway and forces you to avoid its shockwaves and the debris it hurls, which is difficult as your movements and resources are limited. Spawn’s archenemy, the Violator, is also fought twice but, while he assumes a “frenzied” form in Hell, both battles are functionally the same. You must stay on an upper, circular path avoiding his claw swipes (which destroy your platforms), grappling to safety, and peppering him with attacks until he keels over. You get a prelude of your later battles with the Redeemer when fighting the Reaver, an armoured avenger who wields a titanic sword that covers a wide arc and which he hurls at you, alongside a devastating beam attack. The Redeemer favours floating above you, igniting the floor (forcing you to grapple to nearby spikes), and attacking with his own massive sword. In the finale, the Redeemer transforms into the Metatron for a two-stage final boss. In the first phase, it resembles a scorpion, attacking with its stinger and pincers and shielding itself at times. In the second, it becomes humanoid and leaps across the arena, fires fast projectiles, and unleashes a massive chest cannon. In every encounter, though, the Redeemer is a slow, lethargic enemy who often leaves himself wide open to your heavier attacks.

Additional Features:
After clearing each mission, no matter how short, your progress is tallied up, awarding you unlockables like concept art. Every enemy you encounter is added to the game’s encyclopaedia, providing additional lore and tips on how to defeat them, and numerous comic books can be found in most of the game’s environments, unlocking Todd McFarlane’s beautiful artwork to view. Clearing missions also allows you to freely replay them, challenging different difficulties if you wish, though your upgrading and saving options are limited when you choose this mode. Spawn: Armageddon also has a few cheat codes, inputted from the pause menu, that’ll bestow you with unlimited ammo and Necroplasm, all guns, unlock every comic and enemy entry in the encyclopaedia, and disable the blood. While it’s annoying that there isn’t an infinite health cheat, these codes make blasting the game’s wildly inconsistent missions a breeze.

The Summary:
I was really excited to play Spawn: Armageddon. I’m a huge fan of the character, and brawlers, and had high hopes for the game from what I’d seen, expecting something like a mixture of the Devil May Cry and God of War games (Various, 2005 to present). As I mentioned, my anticipation was high after seeing the decent FMVs and hearing Keith David’s voice, but it was all downhill after a couple of missions. Spawn: Armageddon looks and plays like an ambitious PlayStation title at times; its blocky visuals and clunky controls do little to showcase the power of the PlayStation 2. While the locations are true to the comics, they’re also painfully empty, generic, and bland, bar a few excepts (such as Central Park and Angel Station). Spawn and the demons may look passable enough, but the Violator and Malebolgia look awful and the game’s disappointingly light on recognisable characters. Take away the Spawn title and it’s just another ugly, muddy, clunky action game that needlessly pads out its awkward gun combat with frustrating platforming sections. Spawn’s powers are largely useless here; his cape and glide are stunted, his chains woefully ineffective, and his movement handicapped by his ungainly nature. Missions are all over the place, forcing you to knob about hopping to platforms or trying to get the damn glide and chains to work and then having you quickly destroy a few enemies and supplanting the cutscenes with cheap-ass text. A lack of unlockables (no skins? Really?) and collectibles and some uninspired bosses only compound matters, as do the endless waves of enemies that simply drive home how repetitive and shallow the combat is. It’s such a shame as there’s the ghost of a good game here but it feels as though the developers ran out of time and/or money and simply slapped together a quick, lacklustre brawler that really doesn’t do the character justice and is barely worth the time of even a die-hard Spawn fan such as myself.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Did you ever play Spawn: Armageddon? Did you enjoy it or, like me, did you find it a lifeless and disappointing experience? What did you think to Spawn’s firearms and array of powers? Did you also struggle with the gliding, grappling, and camera? Which if the bosses were you most disappointed by? Would you like to see Spawn get another videogame on modern consoles? Which of his videogame outings is your favourite, if any? Whatever you think about Spawn: Armageddon, share your thoughts in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and take a look at my other Spawn content.

Movie Night: In a Violent Nature

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Released: 31 May 2024
Director: Chris Nash
Distributor: IFC Films
Budget: $3 million
Stars: Ry Barrett, Andrea Pavlovic, Cameron Love, Liam Leone, Charlotte Creaghan, and Reece Presley

The Plot:
When some friends nonchalantly take a locket from the remains of a fire tower, the ranged Johnny (Barrett) resurrects and begins a slow and violent search for it.

The Background:
John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978) wasn’t the first “slasher” but it absolutely popularised this horror sub-genre and laid the foundation for a slew of copycats, with perhaps none more influential than the Friday the 13th franchise (Various, 1980 to present). These films cemented many horror tropes, such as the hulking, masked, mute killer and the events taking place in dense woodland, and proved incredibly popular arguably because they repeatedly returned to these clichés. After decades of these movies, and others, even the most ardent fans would agree that the formula became stale. Writer/director Chris Nash sought to address this with a low-budget throwback that sought to return to the slower, more methodical roots of the slasher genre and simultaneously subvert it by framing the events from the killer’s perspective and as though the film were a nature documentary. Premiering at the 2024 Sundance Film Festival, In a Violent Nature received a limited cinema release and eventually made $4.5 million at the box office. The film was received very positively, with reviews praising the imaginative spin on the slasher genre and arthouse approach, while also criticising its more predictable elements. Still, many ranked it as the best horror film of 2024 and a sequel was announced at the 2024 San Diego Comic-Con.

The Review:
Unlike any horror movie or slasher film I’ve ever seen, In a Violent Nature follows the killer for most of its runtime or framing shots from his perspective. This unique approach is immediately evident as the camera starts focused on the locket and the scorched fire tower where Johnny’s body is buried rather than on the kids who take his property, and the film rarely deviates from this perspective. Fundamentally, In a Violent Nature like a Friday the 13th slasher, specifically Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (McLoughlin, 1986) and Friday the 13th (Nispel, 2009), primarily by depicting Johnny as a slow, lumbering, dishevelled, reanimated corpse who trudges through the woods and brutalises his victims. Like Crystal Lake, the Ontario wilderness is effectively haunted by Johnny’s legend, which is told to his unsuspecting victims and the audience (over a campfire, no less) by Ehren (Sam Roulston). “Slow” Johnny was the son of a shopkeeper in a nearby logging community who was regularly targeted by the loggers, who felt slighted by his father’s extortionate prices. One day, they lured him up a fire tower and accidentally caused him to fall to his death. His father then died in a barroom brawl after seeking revenge and Johnny’s restless spirit has been blamed for subsequent murders ever since, with the only things keeping him at bay being his mother’s locket and the grounds of the old fire tower. Of course, Kris (Pavlovic), Colt (Love), and the others laugh this off as a simple ghost story but, for the locals, it’s all-too- true and they’re very guarded about keeping Johnny subdued and hidden away.

Follow Johnny as he rises from the grave to hack and slash his way to his missing locket.

Once he awakens, Johnny begins his search and wanders seemingly aimlessly through the thick, oppressive woods and wilderness. Mute and acting purely on instinct and rage, he plods incessantly through brambles and thickets, shrugging past all obstacles and rarely being distracted. However, it seems he has no true idea of where the culprits are and is acting purely on instinct. He’s driven to head towards the nearest sounds, slaughtering a local and clutching desperately at anything that remotely resembles his lost locket, experiencing memories of his father and his past in the process. Although we follow close behind him, the other characters are not so attentive and Johnny easily slips past them, stalks them, and enters their property, largely because no one expects an undead killer to be wandering the woods and they’re usually distracted by petty disagreements or dope. Vague memories seemingly drive Johnny to seek out the local ranger station, where he acquires an old firefighter mask to hide his gruesome visage, an axe, and a particularly ghastly set of dragging hooks to skewer and mangle his victims. Unlike Jason Voorhees (Various), who exhibited various supernatural abilities thanks to sloppy editing, we always see exactly where Johnny’s going, how he gets there, and what he does with his victims. He tends to drag their bodies away or casually dispose of them and is as captivated by various woodcutting implements as he is by key chains, showcasing a child’s mindset alongside his seething bloodlust. Never moving faster than a brisk stride, Johnny nevertheless exhibits superhuman strength and endurance, easily shrugging off gun shots, breaking bones, and nailing his victims with pinpoint accuracy. Johnny searches each victim for the locket and moves on to the next when he comes up short, though we’re later told by a local ranger (Presley) that simply returning the locket isn’t enough to stop Johnny’s rampage and he instead needs to be subdued and buried under the fire tower, a seemingly impossible feat.

The victims get even less characterisation than normal since the film isn’t about them.

Although we end up with a “Final Girl” in Kris, we don’t learn too much about her or her friends except that they’re comfortable enough to banter about their dicks, tease each other about their lusts, and that there’s some sexual tension here and there. Ehren is the first to die when he goes for a smoke (or a shit, or to go try his luck with some gas station girls) but, beyond his foreknowledge of Johnny’s legend, we mainly learn that he’s potentially horny. Similarly, Aurora (Creaghan) initially stands out since she’s desperate to get a signal and enjoys a good selfie, but she gains a touch more characterisation when she flirts with Brodie (Lea Rose Sebastianis) and practises yoga. Brodie’s “thing” is swimming in the nearby lake (which is naturally a fatal pastime) and flirting with Aurora, while Colt and Troy (Leone) spend most of their time bickering. It’s a little hard to tell and the characters are difficult to distinguish since we mainly hear their conversations offscreen and only get a glimpse of their lives through Johnny’s peripheral senses. By the time the survivors realise their friends are dead, there’s little to no emotional connection to their plight. Colt and Kris plan to lure Johnny into an ambush, one assumed to involve setting him ablaze, but there’s little reason to be invested since we barely know them and Johnny offs them so brutally. In a Violent Nature thus takes the notion of cheering the killer over the hapless victims to the nth level, devoting basically it’s entire runtime to this enraged zombie’s pursuit and making us invest our time and energy into him and his quest rather than his victims. Thus, his victims are depicted similar to how slasher killers are seen in classic horror: on the periphery, with little insight into the character or motivations. It’s an interesting contrast and one that lands fairly well until the finale, where we’re robbed of a climactic showdown and the film is left to fizzle out as we suddenly shift to following the traumatised and wounded Kris as she’s rescued by a passing motorist (Lauren-Marie Taylor).

The Nitty-Gritty:
In a Violent Nature is a very methodical film. Since we’re following Johnny most of the time, the film has a very slow and deliberate pace. Normally, slasher killers stride through the environment to build dramatic tension or magically appear for a jump scare. It’s rare that these films show us what the killer is up to between these moments, but In a Violent Nature depicts it in painstaking detail. Johnny walks. A lot. From the moment he digs himself from his grave, he walks and barely stops except to watch his victims, choose a weapon, or distract himself with a toy. He walks, and walks, and walks some more, covering vast distances with a determined stride, all to ambient noise. There is no soundtrack, no sudden strings or memorable score. There’s a touch of digetic music but otherwise we’re left with the sounds of crickets, Johnny’s heavy footsteps, and general woodland noises. It’s creepy and gritty and grounded in a way most horror audiences probably aren’t used to provides a stark, naked isolation to the events. However, it does get somewhat tedious after a while. Occasionally, jump cuts advance Johnny’s progress across or change day to night, a technique I feel could’ve been employed more to cut down the repetition. After a while of following Johnny, I think we get the point and the over-the-shoulder perspective wears out its welcome, especially as I feel the filmmakers missed the opportunity to do more with Johnny in these moments. Like, maybe he grows dormant and shuts down at times, or maybe he has more memories unlocked during his jaunt, or we could see him stalking his victims more elaborately. Just…something to break things up a bit.

While some kills are brutally memorable, the film doesn’t have enough to balance the slower moments.

Like any decent slasher, In a Violent Nature features a fair few kills ranging from brutally creative to sadly disappointing. Johnny’s first kill is offscreen; all we’re shown is his hand slowly reaching for his victim’s face before it cuts to that same hand dripping in blood, the local’s cap drenched in blood splatter. I didn’t mind this as it’s very creepy to imagine what Johnny did to the guy’s face, but I also think the film would’ve been better served by showing us the true, gory end this guy met if only to counterbalance the slower, more methodical moments. Similarly, Brodie is simply offed by Johnny grabbing her when she’s swimming. We see this entirely from an outsider’s perspective, meaning she disappears into the lake with a yelp, surfaces once, and then floats to the surface, dead. It’s a stark and sudden affair somewhat at odds with the film’s main hook, which is following Johnny’s every action. Compare it to Ehren’s death, where we follow Johnny as he arms himself with a drawknife, stalks him in the dark, and comes up behind him when he’s smoking by a tree. The resultant face-splitting death is made more gruesome by Ehren’s struggles and the sickening depiction of his severed head, and by Johnny dragging his body around and using it to smash his way to his mask and hooks. Johnny uses his hooks for a shocking and delightful kill when he surprises Aurora, shoves his fist through her stomach, and yanks her head through the hole! When he attacks Troy and Trevor, he makes a mockery of their attempt to limp to safety with his precision axe throwing and then delivers a spectacular head smash with a rock. Although the ranger seemingly offers Kris and Colt hope, his past experiences with Johnny mean nothing when he’s easily disarmed and paralysed. Johnny then systematically drags the ranger into a nearby cabin, demonstrates the cutting power of a log splitter, and then severs his would-be-nemesis’s arm (a disappointingly weak effect since it’s obviously a fake limb). He then hauls the ranger’s body into the log splitter’s path to cut his head off, which was a bit disappointing as I was hoping the guy would be split crotch to head and the ranger was paralysed so he’s not even screaming, making for a surprisingly weak kills despite its elaborate nature.

Rather than a climactic showdown, the film ends with a limp allegory on the nature of survival.

Johnny’s search for his stolen locket takes him all over the wilderness. He kills anyone in his way and searches for it each time, only to come up short and move on to the next victim, with the locket eventually making its way around Kris’s neck. We never see this, but the ranger reacts with anger when he spots it when she and Colt go for help upon discovering their friends’ dead bodies and narrowly escaping Johnny’s wrath. The ranger offers a bit more exposition about Johnny and his previous encounter with him but, thanks to Colt being so useless he can’t even chain the temporarily subdued killer’s limbs, the ranger’s left at Johnny’s mercy. After dispatching his foe, Johnny pursues the last two survivors into the dark woods where we hear Kris and Colt whimpering and whispering, desperately trying to come up with a plan. Colt’s plan to distract Johnny so Kris can set up a trap ends horrifically badly when the lad gets his head caved in with an axe. Witnessing Johnny repeatedly bludgeon her lover’s head leaves Kris in a traumatised stupor and she abandons the plan, leaving the locket behind and slipping away. She’s then picked up by a passing motorist and left little more than a vegetable as her saviour bizarrely details her brother’s encounter with a bear in an attempt to calm Kris’s nerves. Injured from her experience, Kris flies into a panic when the driver stops to tend to her wound, anxiously expecting Johnny to burst from the woods. However, in a subversion of the usual jump scare that punctuates such slasher films, this doesn’t happen. Instead, we get one last slow camera shot showing that the locket is gone, presumably retrieved by Johnny, though his fate is left ambiguous. This was such a surreal deconstruction of the slasher’s usual climactic and bloody ending. Instead of a dramatic showdown with the killer, we get a prolonged anecdote about a bear that I guess is supposed to be an allegory for trauma but instead grinds the film to a halt and ends In a Violent Nature on a perplexingly limp note.

The Summary:
I’d seen a lot of hype surrounding In a Violent Nature. Trailers, reviews, and social media posts lauded the film as a brilliant deconstruction of the slasher genre, a unique twist on a tried-and-tested formula that changed how these films are presented. For the most part, that is certainly true. The decision to follow the mute, hulking, zombie-like killer is an inspired one and definitely helps it to stand out against other films of its genre. The nature documentary slant is an intriguing decision and it’s interesting following Johnny as he wanders about, easily slipping past unsuspecting victims and brutalising them with little effort. Unfortunately, the film can be a bit of a slog. Not only is the setting uninspired (the masked killer in the woods has been done to death) but the lack of visual variety may put some horror fans and casual audiences off. It’s fine to show the ludicrousness of these killers just walking everywhere but I would’ve liked to see more insight into Johnny, maybe show him setting traps or doing something more interesting with his victims’ bodies than hauling them around. Similarly, while no one watches these films for the protagonists, In a Violent Nature definitely suffers from not allowing us to emotionally connect with Johnny’s victims. It’s hard to care when he kills them and, indeed, the film seems to suggest that we shouldn’t since it’s turning the tables and painting the victims as unknowable, even evil forces (they did steal from Johnny, after all). If these slower moments had been bolstered by some truly memorable, outrageous, and gruesome kills then I think the pacing would’ve benefitted. Instead, we get a couple of decent kills but that’s all. Johnny has an instantly iconic look, a suitably tragic and relatable backstory, and suitable motivation for his kills but any goodwill is swept away for an overly subversive ending that causes the film to fall flat on its face. I get what In a Violent Nature was going for in subverting expectations and putting a new spin on a clichéd genre and, for the most part, it works but I can see the movie being a hard sell for more casual horror viewers. Hell, even long-time horror fans like myself may find it a bittersweet pill to swallow since it denies a lot of the tried-and true elements of the genre in favour of trying to be cute and artsy with it, resulting in an entertaining but polarising final product.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever seen In a Violent Nature? Did you enjoy the unique perspective on the genre or did all the walking and slow pacing put you off? What did you think to Johnny, his look and backstory? Were you disappoint by the lack of characterisation given to his victims? Which kill was your favourite and would you like to see more from this world? Which slasher film is your favourite? Whatever you think about In a Violent Nature, leave your thoughts below and go check out my other horror content across the site!

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: Casino Royale (2006)

Dr. K1 Comment

October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day” so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 16 November 2006
Director: Martin Campbell
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $102 to 150 million
Stars: Daniel Craig, Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Jeffrey Wright, Giancarlo Giannini, and Judi Dench

The Plot:
Newly promoted 00 agent James Bond/007 (Craig) must set his ego aside to play poker against Le Chiffre (Mikkelsen), a terrorist banker desperate to recoup his losses, only to find his loyalties strained when he falls for no-nonsense British Treasury agent Vesper Lynd (Green).

The Background:
Although Sean Connery’s immortal and iconic performance brought the super spy franchise to life, James Bond was the brainchild of writer Ian Fleming and heavily inspired by his years as a Navy intelligence officer. Bond first appeared in the 1953 novel Casino Royale, which was initially adapted into a one-hour CBS television adaptation, a 1958 South African radio drama, a 1957 comic strip, and finally a bizarre 1967 comedy. Fleming selling the rights to all his Bond novels except Casino Royale (and, most infamously, 1961’s Thunderball) led to years of rights disputes, which wouldn’t be resolved until 1999. Writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade initially hoped to return Bond to his roots through popular Bond actor Pierce Brosnan, feeling the franchise had gotten too fantastical. However, when negotiations broke down, director Martin Campbell returned to helm a reboot, bringing writer Paul Haggis to retool the script accordingly. Clearly inspired by The Bourne Identity (Liman, 2002), the filmmakers sought to make a grounded, gritty spy thriller and considered numerous actors to take over the role before settling on Daniel Craig, which caused some ridiculous controversy at the time and Craig later came to despise the role. Despite being a reboot, Judi Dench returned as “M” to help with the transition and the film purposely subverted many expectations of the franchise. Although some criticised the poker scenes, the opening parkour sequence was widely praised and Casino Royale’s spectacular car crash stunt broke records at the time. Grossing nearly $620 million, Casino Royale was both a massive hit and the highest-grossing Bond film for a time. Critics lauded Bond’s reinvention, Craig’s rugged performance, and the new insights into Bond’s character and background. Widely regarded as one of the best Bond movies, Casino Royale successfully reinvented the character and reinvigorated the franchise, and led to four more, largely praised outings for Craig’s Bond.

The Review:
For the first time in Bond’s mainstream film career, Casino Royale starts the character from the beginning, presenting a black and white pre-title sequence where Bond earns his promotion to 00 status by claiming his necessary first two kills. While the first is an ugly affair that leaves Bond shaken, his execution of corrupt MI6 Section Chief Dryden (Malcolm Sinclair) is a far more dispassionate act, though both set the tone for Craig’s gritty, far less refined version of the character. Bond is noticeably rougher around the edge compared to his veteran predecessors, with even M lamenting his reckless ways and outrageous ego. Bond has little regard for protocol, breaking into M’s private home and even logging into MI6 systems using her credentials, dumbfounding and frustrating M. Seen as a “blunt instrument” who needs to consider the “big picture” rather than executing small-time bombers like nimble Mollaka (Sébastien Foucan), Bond immediately risks punishment for his insolence and struggles to reconcile with M’s orders that he set aside his ego and act for the greater good. Having been raised as an orphan at the grace of someone else’s charity, Bond carries a large chip on his shoulder, giving him an air of conceited arrogance that quickly turns to blind rage when he doesn’t get his way or is outdone at poker or in a fight. Yet, paradoxically, Bond has a rugged charm; he always says, “thank you”, rises when greeting or saying farewell to people, and easily appeals to women with his piercing blue eyes, self-confidence, chiselled physique, and wry smile. Naturally, Bond’s pursuit of women is purely for a sexual thrill or to get intel on his targets, but he also only pursues married women to “keep things simple”, though he also adopts a stoic demeanour concerning their fates.

Young, gritty Bond must set aside his ego to safeguard the greater good through a poker game.

There’s certainly no questioning Bond’s commitment. He leaps into action, literally charging through walls and chasing his targets by any means necessary, though his methods are often questionable. After recovering Mollaka’s cell phone and tracing a mysterious text (“ELLIPSIS”), Bond discovers another would-be terrorist (Claudio Santamaria) targeting a prototype aircraft, working on hunches and intuition to prevent catastrophe and consequently driving Le Chiffre to desperation. Though annoyed when M fits him with a tracking implant, Bond’s sure of his chances at besting the banker at the titular casino. We get a taste of Bond’s card skills early on when he humiliates Alex Dimitrios (Simon Abkarian), winning his Aston Martin and seducing his wife (Caterina Murino), and giving an overview of the game to a sceptical Vesper while travelling to Montenegro. While poker has always been in Bond movies, it’s at the forefront here and shot like a tense game of cat and mouse as Bond tosses his chips, reveals his hand, and glares at Le Chiffre, daring him to test his luck. Admittedly, I have very little understanding of the game, but these scenes have always been a highlight for me. Bond focuses on Le Chiffre, sacrificing his winnings to learn the banker’s “tell” and frustrating Vesper with his arrogance. Bond clearly knows what he’s doing, but he lets his ego to get the better of him and ends up wiped out. When Vesper angrily refuses to stake his buy-in, Bond prepares to go against M’s strict orders to bring Le Chiffre in alive, but is stopped by Felix Leiter (Wright) of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). Leiter agrees to fund him in return for Le Chiffre since Felix is struggled to hold his own in the game.

Though sceptical of the plan and clearly hiding something, Vesper soon succumbs to Bond’s allure.

M’s exasperation and scepticism of Bond are echoed by Vesper, a stunning and forthright Treasury Agent who’s unconvinced by the plan to bankrupt Le Chiffre. Bond shares with her some of the analytics and mathematics involved in the game, but primarily emphasises that it’s about reading people, quickly surmising that Vesper’s an orphan with a prickly demeanour who’s struggling to get over a lost love. Unimpressed, Vesper showcases her own insight into Bond’s character, proving herself his intellectual equal and further one-upping him by providing a tailored dinner jacket so he can look like the man he’s only pretending to be. Though Vesper sees Bond’s ego as a liability, she’s instrumental in saving his life after Le Chiffre poisons him and Bond, who enjoys their rapport as much as Vesper is irritated by his arrogance, comforts her after she witnesses him brutally throttle Steven Obanno (Isaach de Bankolé). After Vesper is captured following Le Chiffre’s loss and Bond endures unimaginable torture to protect her, Vesper’s opinion of Bond cools as much as his stoic armour is stripped, leading Bond to resign and pursue a passionate romance with Vesper to save himself from a violent and cruel lifestyle. Despite the horrendous damage to his nether regions, Bond miraculously recovers and whisks Vesper to Venice after being won over by her fortitude and beauty. Unfortunately for Bond, his uncanny ability to read people is blinded by Vesper and he’s caught completely off-guard when she betrays him and takes the money, handing it to one-eyed Adolph Gettler (Richard Sammel) of the mysterious “Organisation” behind Le Chiffre. Indeed, while Bond quickly accuses René Mathis (Giannini), his otherwise indispensable Montenegro contact, of betraying him to Le Chiffre, Bond misinterprets Vesper’s cagey nature as grief or heartbreak and doesn’t realise she’s been compromised until it’s too late.

Cruel banker Le Chiffre desperately puts his poker skills to the test to recoup his losses.

A cold, calculating mathematician, Le Chiffre is a highly skilled poker player who takes funds entrusted to him by unscrupulous individuals like Obanno and “invests” it to fund wars, rebellions, and terrorism for the Organisation. Le Chiffre bets against the stock market and plans to double-down by destroying a prototype aircraft, only to lose everything thanks to Bond’s interference and, in desperation, use the high stakes poker game to recoup his losses. A grim individual who cares little for his lover (Ivana Miličević), uses an inhaler, and occasionally weeps blood from his messed-up eye, Le Chiffre is anxious to play and delights in taunting Bond with bluffs and fake tells and information from Mathis. Despite Le Chiffre’s best efforts, Bond keeps coming back and even Bond killing Obanno only increases Le Chiffre’s desperation, forcing him to kidnap Vesper and lure Bond into a trap. Le Chiffre threatens to kill Vesper and rob Bond of his manhood unless he gets the winnings, fully aware that MI6 will offer him sanctuary since they want what he knows, only to be summarily executed for his failures by the mysterious Mister White (Jesper Christensen). Mr. White’s shady Organisation is merely hinted at in Casino Royale but cast a shadow over the film as Le Chiffre is such an enigmatic and cruel-hearted character that I really feel his loss after he’s killed. From there, though, the film discusses the nature of trust as Bond order Mathis to be interrogated and then reels when Vesper betrays him. However, I think it might’ve been better to keep Le Chiffre alive for the finale and have Bond shoot him through the eye with a nail gun rather than Gettler as it would’ve been equally fitting considering the banker’s dodgy eye.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Casino Royale presents a very different Bond, one far younger and less refined than we’re used to. Said to be ex-Special Air Service (SAS) and orphan, Bond is a somewhat reckless and disobedient recruit for MI6, who barges in with a distinct lack of finesse and delights in rubbing people the wrong way. His charm is based on his rugged good looks and arrogant swagger, which have little affect on M and are largely deflected by Vesper, who both push for him to be more professional and emotionally detached regarding his work. Ironically, Bond is very emotionally detached in his relationships, preferring to use and dispose of people on a whim and even turning on his close allies when he senses they’re not to be trusted. Reboots were seeing a resurgence at this time and I remember people stupidly thinking Casino Royale was a prequel to Dr. No (Young, 1962) despite it clearly being set in the modern day and featuring a very different Bond. Judi Dench’s presence doesn’t help, to be fair, though M is quite different to before, taking a firmer and more demanding approach with Bond, whom she disciplines like an unruly child. Casino Royale also subverts many of the Bond tropes, incorporating the opening gun barrel sequence into the narrative, having him not “give a damn” about his Martini, recontextualising how he acquired his Aston Martin, and saving the “Bond… James Bond” for the final shot. Most crucially, for me, is the inclusion of easily the best Bond theme ever, “You Know My Name”, a rocking earworm from the late, great Chris Cornell that’s sampled throughout the film alongside more traditional Bond motifs as he slowly develops into something more recognisably Bond.

A gritty, realistic makeover results in some of the most brutal and thrilling action sequences of the series.

Considering how over the top Bond’s adventures had become at the time, it was both startling and refreshing to see Casino Royale ape The Bourne Identity and present a grounded, far grittier Bond and his action sequences. Craig’s Bond is a messy brawler who roughly tussles with his foes, landing hard, crippling blows and absorbing more damage than any of his predecessors. Bond is generally battered and bloody after every scrap and both traumatised by the violence and relishes it, assuming a stoic demeanour whenever he kills. As if the opening bathroom brawl wasn’t enough, Casino Royale delivers one of the most memorable sequences of the franchise a Bond relentlessly chases Mollaka through a Madagascan construction site. While Mollaka deftly parkours about, Bond barges through walls, steals vehicles, and takes any shortcuts he can to nail his man, earning M’s ire for his short-sighted, brutish approach. Vesper is left traumatised after witnessing Bond fright machete-wielding Obanno, which sees Bond tumble down stairs and choke the life about of his foe. Of course, we get some high-octane chase sequences too, like Bond’s mad dash through a Miami airport to intercept Le Chiffre’s bomber, which sees cars being blasted away by a passing aircraft, and his desperate pursuit of Vesper, which ends with his car careening over. The finale sees Bond fighting through a sinking building in Venice, gunning down Gettler’s goons and worsening the situation to throw his enemies off-balance. Indeed, while he’s not as suave as his predecessors, Bond is still impressively adaptable and uses his environment wherever possible since his ego won’t allow him to lose. Since “Q” (Ben Whishaw) wouldn’t be introduced for some time and Casino Royale takes a very realistic and back-to-basics approach, Bond doesn’t have many fancy gadgets beyond simple stuff like a defibrillator and earpieces, though he is still packing his signature Walther PPK.

Devastated by Vesper’s betrayal and death, Bond takes solace in his grim-faced demeanour,

Despite almost dying, Bond outplays Le Chiffre and wins the poker game, forcing Le Chiffre to kidnap Vesper and brutally torture Bond, only for Mr. White to execute him for the Organisation. After recovering, Bond tries for a normal life with Vesper and takes a passionate getaway to Venice. However, Bond is disturbed when M asks about the winnings and he finds the funds are being withdrawn from a nearby bank. Realising he’s been duped, Bond tails Vesper to a secret meeting where she hands the cash to Gettler. Blinded by betrayal, Bond is easily spotted and a spectacular firefight ensues that sees an abandoned Venetian building crumble and sink into the Grand Canal during the chaos. Naturally, Bond triumphs in his fight to Vesper, offing Gettler with a nail gun, only to find she’s locked herself in an elevator cage and refuses to be rescued. When she plummets into the water, a desperate Bond follows, hammering and clawing at the door to reach her, only for Vesper to drown before his eyes. Though Bond tries to resuscitate her, it’s a futile effort and he’s left visible distraught by her seemingly senseless death. In the aftermath, Bond rescinds his resignation and dispassionately dismisses Vesper’s death and importance to him, only to learn from M that Vesper was being blackmailed by the Organisation to keep her lover safe and that she made a deal to spare Bond despite knowing it would probably lead to her death. Although his heart is already hardening and his stoic demeanour is already rebuilding, Bond finds Vesper left details of Mr. White’s location and promptly visits to his opulent estate, wounding him with an unnecessarily large rifle and apprehending him…

The Summary:
While I was a huge fan of Pierce Brosnan’s Bond and disappointed to see him replaced at the time, I was beyond excited for Casino Royale and loved it back in the day. The film was a superb shot in the arm for the franchise and finally did away with the cartoonish outlandishness that had dogged much of the series, presenting a gritty, rugged Bond set very much in the present day and a realistic world. Craig’s Bond is also one of the more accurate to the source material, being somewhat cruel and cold-hearted at times and a stone-cold killer when he needs to be while still being polite and enjoying the finer things in life. I loved that Bond was so vulnerable here, emotionally and physically. His reaction to killing, the bloody aftermath of his fights, and the sheer look of confusion, anger, and despair on his face when he loses are all very raw and palpable and go a long way to show why Bond is the way he is in future movies. Casino Royale’s action sequences remain some of the best in the franchise and I really enjoyed seeing Bond barge his way through situations with little to no finesse, saving his more subtle actions for the surprisingly engaging poker sequences. I also liked Le Chiffre, who was motivated by fear and desperation and stole every scene so effectively that I was dismayed when he was killed. The romance between Bond and Vesper is also very engaging as she’s very much his equal and not someone who suffers fools gladly, yet she can’t deny her attraction and admiration for Bond, despite how pig-headed he can be. I do wish the film had committed to the do-over and replaced Judi Dench as this still seems like a strange choice for a reboot, but I did like how this M had no time for Bond’s recklessness and constantly disciplined him. Nostalgia is a beautiful thing but Casino Royale is still one of my favourite Bond movies, and my favourite of Craig’s tenure, for its messy fight sequences, thrilling action set pieces, intense cat-and-mouse poker scenes, and the engaging exploration of how Bond was moulded into MI6’s top field agent through his trauma and experiences.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Are you a fan of Casino Royale? Were you disappointed to see Pierce Brosnan replaced at the time or were you excited for a back-to-basics approach? Did you enjoy Daniel Craig’s more brutish, rugged portrayal of the character? Were you able to follow the poker scenes and, if so, did you enjoy them? Is Le Chiffre one of your favourite Bond villains and do you agree his death should’ve been moved to the finale? What did you think to the romance and rapport between Bond and Vesper? Which of Ian Fleming’s books would you like to see adapted into a Bond movie? How are you celebrating 007 this month? Share your thoughts on Casino Royale in the comments, check out my other Bond reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to help support more 007 content.

Wrestling Recap: Hogan vs. Warrior (Halloween Havoc ’98)

Dr. K1 Comment

The Date: 25 October 1998
The Venue: MGM Grand Garden Arena; Paradise, Nevada
The Commentary: Tony Schiavone, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Mike Tenay
The Referee: Nick Patrick
The Stakes: Grudge match

The Build-Up:
World Championship Wrestling (WCW) changed the wrestling industry on 4 September 1995 by airing the first episode of WCW Monday Nitro in direct competition to the World Wrestling Federation’s (WWF) Raw is War, kicking off the “Monday Night Wars” that saw WCW dominate for a staggering eighty-four weeks. WCW accomplished this by signing some of wrestling’s biggest names to lucrative contracts. with perhaps their biggest coup being signing the undisputed face of the WWF, “The Immortal” Hulk Hogan, after being wooed by promises of big paydays and future film roles. While his initial run saw Hogan going though the motions of his usual hero shtick, he reinvigorated his career when he turned heel, rechristened himself “Hollywood” Hogan, and ran roughshod throughout WCW alongside the New World Order (nWo). Despite being relieved of the WCW World Heavyweight Championship in controversial fashion, Hogan and the nWo continued to dominate Nitro, leading to his old rival, the Ultimate warrior, to sign with WCW after numerous disagreements with the WWF. The Warrior’s arrival had been previously teased with a lookalike, the Renegade, but the real deal finally debuted in WCW in May 1998, going on a half-crazed rant, forming the “One Warrior Nation” (oWn), and critically injuring Davey Boy Smith with a gimmicked trapdoor. The Warrior would haunt Hogan with ridiculous mind games and tricks, which resulted in a dangerous fireball botch in this match, which is generally considered to be one of the worst matches in WCW history and incomparable to their WrestleMania VI classic.

The Match:
I’m somewhat amazed that Hogan didn’t politic his way into the main event spot of Halloween Havoc, which instead went to Goldberg’s much-celebrated victory over Diamond Dallas Page. While the commentary team big up the Warrior’s “magnificent body”, it’s clear he’s less than “Ultimate” here and much smaller than in his prime. Still, the crowd seemed anxious for the two old rivals to lock horns once more and, after a brief tie-up, Hogan took the early advantage with a knee to the gut and some clubbing blows into the corner. However, while working over the Warrior’s wrist, Hogan was overpowered and trapped in an arm lock then sent to the canvas by a hard shoulder block. After recuperating on the outside and dictating the pace of the early going, Hogan baited the Warrior into a test of strength, muscling the Warrior into another corner and deliver a beatdown. However, when Hogan clasped his hands to the Warrior’s and forced him to his knees, dominating and mocking his opponent, the Warrior powered up and overpowered Hogan, receiving a gut kick for his efforts. Hogan continued to dominate, keeping him on his knees and forcing him to expend precious energy, only for Hogan to keep his grip on the Warrior’s wrist. An Irish whip led to them criss-crossing until Hogan planted the Warrior with a scoop slam. However, as Hogan showboated, the Warrior popped up and hit a scoop slam of his own before awkwardly clotheslined Hogan over the top rope. The Warrior quickly followed, beating and slamming Hogan’s head against the security railing, smashing Hogan’s forehead off the ring post after raking the Warrior’s eyes.

A plodding match with a strange botch and an egotistical win for Hogan.

The match quickly returned to the ring, where Hogan accidentally collided with the referee and then doubled down by dropping a knee on him so the nWo could interfere. However, the Warrior dodged the Giant’s big kick and took both him and Stevie Ray out, only for the referee to miss his cover over Hogan. A back suplex scored Hogan a two count, so he repeatedly rammed his knee into the Warrior’s spine and whipped and choked him with his belt. Though he missed his signature Big Splash, the Warrior avoided Hogan’s elbow drops and returned the favour by whipping Hogan with his own belt. As Nick Patrick reprimanded the Warrior, Hogan struggled with some flash paper, resulting in the flames fizzling out in his hands and completely missing the Warrior’s eyes! Undeterred, the Warrior hit two top rope axehandles, somehow busting Hogan open. Hogan then hit an Atomic Leg Drop, but missed a second, allowing the Warrior to “pump up” and floor Hogan with repeated clotheslines. However, when the Warrior tried to win, Eric Bischoff distracted the referee, and Horace Hogan surprisingly cracked the Warrior over the head with a steel chair. This allowed Hogan to get his win back, though, luckily, WCW officials kept the Hogans from setting the Warrior on fire. I’d heard that this was a stinker, but honestly it wasn’t any better or worse than most Hogan matches. It actually had a bit of energy, with Hogan berating and clawing at the Warrior with an intense hatred, though the story of the Warrior being this resilient, powerful force fell completely flat as he was on the backend for most of it. The fireball botch was embarrassing, for sure, and the interference was annoying, and it’s definitely not on par with their WrestleMania VI match, but I’ve seen far worse efforts from Hogan.

The Aftermath:
Despite WCW going to great lengths to sign the Warrior and get him back in the ring with Hogan, this was Jim Hellwig’s last match in WCW. The last of three, I might add. He showed up on WCW Monday Nitro to rescue the Disciple from the nWo and then left the company, and the wrestling industry, prior to a brief return to the ring for the Nu-Wrestling Federation in 2008. Unfortunately, even the cataclysmic error that saw many viewers miss the Halloween Havoc main event match couldn’t distract wrestling critics from tearing this match apart. It was labelled a disaster only surpassed by the Warrior’s bizarre and lukewarm debut in WCW, with both competitors throwing barbs at each other for years to come regarding their respective attitudes and talents. Still, after years of being estranged from and vilified by World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), the Ultimate Warrior was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, made amends with Hogan, and gave a rousing speech to his fans that became disturbingly prophetic after he was found dead the very next day.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to the long-awaited rematch between Hogan and the Warrior? Were you excited to see the Warrior in WCW? What did you think to his crazed rants and parlour tricks? Were you disappointed when the fireball spot went wrong? Do you think this match is as bad as everyone says? Were you happy to see the Ultimate Warrior honoured by the WWE after so many years of animosity? Which Halloween Havoc match is your favourite? Share your thoughts on this infamous match below, support me on Ko-Fi, and be sure to check out my other wrestling content across the site.

Movie Night: Hollow Man: Director’s Cut

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 25 December 2009
Originally Released: 4 August 2000
Director: Paul Verhoeven
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $95 million
Stars: Kevin Bacon, Elisabeth Shue, Josh Brolin, Kim Dickens, and William Devane

The Plot:
When ambitious scientist Doctor Sebastian Caine (Bacon) arrogantly subjects himself to his invisibility serum, his team is horrified when he descends into madness after going drunk with power.

The Background:
By 1897, British author Herbert George Wells had established himself as a prolific author in the science-fiction genre. Possibly inspired by W. S. Gilbert, Wells’ 1897 literary classic The Invisible Man captivated readers with its cautionary tale and then impressed audiences when adapted into James Whale’s ambitious and celebrated 1933 classic. Followed by a bunch of pseudo-sequels and spin-offs, The Invisible Man developed an enduring legacy in sci-fi and horror and eventually lived again, in spirit at least, when acclaimed auteur Paul Verhoeven sought to make a more “conventionally commercial” blockbuster. Writer William Goldman disliked the script but attempted to salvage it with rewrites, only for Verhoeven to ignore his input and double-down on the special effects work. Sony Pictures Imageworks and Tippett Studio developed the intricate invisibility effects, which involved compositing scenes with and without star Kevin Bacon and dressing him in a latex body suit to create a digital double. Initially absent once his character became invisible, Bacon was brought back for reshoots to give the characters someone to interact with and the actor detailed a troublesome pre-production period. With a box office gross of $190.2 million, Hollow Man was Verhoeven’s biggest hit since 1992 but was met with largely negative reviews that criticised its formulaic characters and misogynistic undertones, though the visual effects were widely praised. Accompanied by this Director’s Cut, which added about ten minutes of slightly extended scenes, and followed by a critically panned direct-to-DVD standalone sequel in 2006, Hollow Man saw the remorseful Paul Verhoeven retreat from Hollywood, though it’s often regarded as an under-rated gem.

The Review:
Hollow Man follows a team of scientists, technicians, and other assorted specialists developing an invisibility serum. Genius narcissist Sebastian Caine is at the forefront of the project, which was entrusted to him by his old mentor, Doctor Howard Kramer (Devane), and his team includes his ex-girlfriend, Linda McKay (Shue), and his frenemy Doctor Matthew “Matt” Kensington (Brolin). The team has already cracked invisibility, producing a startling neon blue serum that undergoes some vague irradiation process and is injected directly into the blood stream. The team have tested the serum on multiple test animals, cared for by feisty veterinarian Doctor Sarah Kennedy (Dickens), though they cannot reverse the process. While Linda and Matt embark on a love affair, Sebastian works tirelessly on the problem until he suddenly intuits the solution. Giddy with excitement, eager to claim a Noble Prize and etch his name in history, Sebastian insists on testing the formula on Isabelle (Tom Woodruff Jr.). Although the gorilla’s heart rate and blood pressure spikes wildly, the team stabilises her and she becomes visible. Emboldened by their success, Sebastian attempts to rekindle his romance with Linda, only for her to coldly shut him down due to his narcissism (though it’s clear she admires him, as do the rest of the team).

Narcissistic scientist Sebastian loses what little sanity he had to invisibility madness.

However, Linda and Matt are infuriated when Sebastian lies to the Pentagon, arrogantly wishing to be the first person to turn invisible and back. Despite their protests, Linda and Matt agree to Sebastian’s proposal and lie to the others to get them onboard, each eager to be at the forefront of the experiment. Though tense and demanding, Sebastian insists on injecting himself to protect Linda from legal repercussions and endures agonising convulsions as he slowly and painfully dissolves. Though he’s extremely sensitive to lights, Sebastian and the others are elated by the successful trial, and they endure his playful invisible antics. The first red flags occur when Sarah is unnerved by his presence, believing he sexually assaulted her, and technician Janice Walton (Mary Randle) refuses to go anywhere without her infrared goggles. Thus, they’re horrified when he reacts violently to the reversion serum before fading away again (potentially because they didn’t use the defibrillator). Sebastian’s initial excitement about being invisible quickly turns to anger and resentment as he endures days of testing, with no solution in sight, angrily lashing out at Linda and Matt when they try to help him and struggling with cabin fever. On the plus side, the team forge a latex mask to give him a physical presence, but Sebastian still storms out, much to the alarm of friendly but naïve medic Carter Abbey (Greg Grunberg).

Sebastian’s warped mind is further twisted, driving him to paranoia, anger, and murder.

Returning to his apartment, Sebastian tries to talk himself out of messing with his alluring neighbour (Rhona Mitra) before stripping down and raping her. Obviously, he keeps this to himself (though he makes allusions to Carter, who obliviously encourages him), but the team is pissed at him breaking protocol and essentially place him under house lab arrest. However, while Sebastian feigns compliance, he surreptitiously fiddles with the video camera to fool technician Frank Chase (Joey Slotnick) and sneaks out again, discovering Matt and Linda’s romance and finally snapping. His ego wounded and angrily resentful at the team, Sebastian brutally murders one of Sarah’s dogs and talks down to the others, raising their suspicions further. Linda’s sympathy evaporates when Sebastian showcases the extent of his mania, considering his condition as a “gift” that they’re jealous and fearful of. When they discover that Sebastian’s messed with the cameras, Linda and Matt come clean, enraging Sarah and driving them to ask Dr. Kramer for help, even if it means the end of their careers. Unimpressed and incensed, Dr. Kramer dismisses them and prepares to report Sebastian, only for the manic scientist to drown him in his pool. Thus, like basically every invisible man, Sebastian descends into full-blown madness. Sebastian was already an arrogant, self-absorbed asshole before he turned invisible, believing himself “God” but cabin fever and unforeseen side effects of the serum escalated his violent tendencies. Sebastian relishes the power and freedom of invisibility (“It’s amazing what you can do when you don’t have to look at yourself in the mirror”) and is willing to kill anyone who tries to stop him.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Technically speaking, Hollow Man isn’t a remake of The Invisible Man and barely resembles H.G. Well’s classic text beyond surface level similarities. However, a scientist going mad partially from an invisibility serum and going on a killing spree are all reminiscent of The Invisible Man. Like Griffin, Sebastian is wholly unlikeable from the start. Sure, there are moments of humility and humanity, mainly in his interactions with Linda, but it’s clear he only wants her because he can’t have her and wants to be seen as superior to her lover. Sebastian openly mocks Sarah and her love for animals, gets very handsy with his colleagues when invisible, and routinely berates Matt simply to prove his intellectual superiority, completely missing the irony and hypocrisy of him being as unable to crack reversion. Hollow Man is a very different film for director Paul Verhoeven. It has none of his usual satirical or visual signatures, no commentary on the media or government, and everything is presented in such a clinical and by-the-number way that it could’ve been directed by anyone. It doesn’t help that most of the film takes place in a visually boring laboratory or that it feels like Verhoeven was making a cookie-cutter sci-fi/horror simply for a pay cheque, compromising his usual signature style simply to appease studio executives and producers.

The impressive special effects largely carry this otherwise tedious horror/thriller.

Hollow Man makes up for this with its impressive visual effects. The CGI when Isabelle and Sebastian turn invisible or return (briefly, in Sebastian’s case) to visibility is extremely detailed. Sure, it makes no sense how any of the test subjects can see but that’s largely inconsequential when skeletal structures, arteries, muscle, and flesh appear or disappear before your eyes. Sebastian’s experience is noticeably more traumatic since he can articulate the pain of the process but also because it’s like his flesh is dissolving. With Isabelle, it’s the reverse and the filmmakers painstakingly show her organs and body structure reforming. While they’re occasionally cartoony, the CGI still holds up and I also enjoyed the simpler techniques used when Sebastian is invisible, like moving chairs and the others reacting to his unseen presence. Sebastian cuts an unsettling figure in his latex mask, with empty voids for his eyes and mouth, making him a true “Hollow Man” devoid of a body, soul, and eventually conscience. The invisibility effects can be somewhat inconsistent, however. When Sebastian attacks Dr. Kramer, you can clearly see Sebastian’s hair, eyes, and mouth but, other times, he appears to be bald or to have no eyes or mouth depending on what suit Kevin Bacon is wearing. While this can be distracting, the sight of Sebastian cutting through water, covered in blood, or strangling Carter from an overhead pipe is as unnerving as his incredible physical strength, which is apparently augmented by his insanity. Verhoeven’s signature gory style finally appears in the finale, where blood spurts from Carter’s neck wound, Frank takes a pole through the abdomen, and Matt suffers a sickening blow to the gut.

Linda preys upon Sebastian’s ego and lusts to get the better of him and finally end his rampage.

After killing Dr. Kramer, Sebastian prepares to erase all traces of the team and the experiment. Thus, he traps the team in the lab and picks them off one by one. Though armed with their infrared goggles and tranquilizer darts, and utilising a tracking system, the team are essentially powerless against Sebastian, who easily subdues and kills them before grievously wounding Matt and spitefully locking him and Linda in a freezer. Confident of his victory, Sebastian casually applies a semi-convincing false face and rigs a makeshift bomb with some chemicals and a centrifuge. He underestimates Matt’s tenacity (some duct tape takes care of his internal bleeding) and Linda’s adaptability as she cobbles together an electromagnetic to escape the freezer. Moments away from freedom, Sebastian is surprised by Linda, who attacks with a flamethrower, melting his disguise and making him temporarily visible from the burns. Matt makes a miraculous recovery to help in the scuffle, which sees Sebastian being electrocuted and partially restores him. Desperately clambering up the elevator shaft as Sebastian’s bomb explodes, Matt and Linda barely avoid being smushed by the elevator and are attacked by the relentless Sebastian, now reduced to a skinless, raging maniac obsessed with taking them with him. However, Sebastian’s obsession with Linda gets the better of him and he pulls her in for one last kiss, “for old time’s sake”, giving her the perfect opportunity to brace herself and release the elevator’s emergency brake, sending the egomaniacal murderer plummeting to his fiery end. The film then ends rather abruptly with Linda and the injured Matt being met by emergency services, robbing us of any kind of stinger relating to Linda’s trauma following the events.

The Summary:
I’ve always been a fan of Hollow Man, though sometimes I wonder why. The film is quite long, which doesn’t help, and the visually repetitive setting only exacerbates this issue. Perhaps if the lab had been a bit more futuristic, or if different areas had different colour schemes or themes, that might’ve helped but, as is, it gets very tedious looking at the same clinical, drab locations the entire time. The characters aren’t all that great, either. Sebastian’s a narcissistic prick with a superiority complex who elicits little sympathy and who’s already unbearable before he loses himself to invisibility madness. Elizabeth Shue seems to be trying her best but also seems bored, only coming to life when Linda has to be horny, while Josh Brolin seems somewhat miscast, despite my gravitating to his more “Everyman” persona. I liked Sarah’s feistiness and how depraved Carter was, but the team were largely forgettable and boring, meaning I don’t care much when they die. Thankfully, their deaths are quite gory and/or harrowing, but Paul Verhoeven’s signature visual and thematic style is entirely absent here, making for a confusing film that was wasted on his unique talents. The special effects are what carries Hollow Man but, while they do a bulk of the heavy lifting and are impressive, they don’t really make up for the other tiresome aspects. Yet, I find myself drawn to Hollow Man and the impressive visuals of skeletons and circulatory systems fading in and out before our eyes in painstaking detail. The invisibility effects may well be the best I’ve ever seen and they do give Sebastian a horrific aura, especially as he’s so unpredictable and aggressive. Still, I can see why people dislike this film and struggle to recommend it, but Hollow Man remains a somewhat guilty pleasure for me.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you also a fan of Hollow Man? Did you enjoy its twist on the Invisible Man formula? How impressed were you by the digital effects and the depiction of invisibility? Did you find it hard to sympathise with Sebastian and the other characters? Were you disappointed that Paul Verhoeven’s signature style was entirely absent? Which incarnation of the Invisible Man is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Share your thoughts on Hollow Man in the comments, go read my other horror reviews, and support me on Ko-Fi to suggest other translucent horror content.

Movie Night: The Invisible Man (1933)

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 13 November 1933
Director: James Whale
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $328,033
Stars: Claude Rains, Gloria Stuart, William Harrigan, Henry Travers, and Una O’Connor

The Plot:
After turning invisible with a special formula, Doctor Jack Griffin (Rains) first obsesses over a cure and then goes on a crazed rampage through a Sussex village.

The Background:
By 1897, prolific British author Herbert George Wells had quickly made a name for himself as a creative visionary and futurist, with The Time Machine (1895) laying the foundation for the science-fiction genre and The Island of Doctor Moreau (1896) inviting discourse regarding morals and ethics. Potentially inspired by W. S. Gilbert’s “The Perils of Invisibility” and allegedly starting as a short story Wells later expanded, The Invisible Man became a literary classic as a startling cautionary tale regarding the dangers of science. Development of a silver screen adaptation can be traced back to 1931 where, after their unexpected success with Dracula (Browning, 1931), Universal Studios suggested The Invisible Man as a follow-up. While producer Carl Laemmle and his son opted to prioritise Frankenstein (Whale, 1931) instead, they purchased the rights during filming (though Wells demanded script approval). Though James Whales was reluctant to direct out of fear of being typecast as a horror director, he eventually signed on and the script underwent many rewrites before shooting started. While Boris Karloff was initially set to star in the title role, stage actor Claude Rains took over for his feature film debut, where he shared the screen with some simple and innovative visual effects. Everything from simple wire tricks to layering negatives over each other sold the illusion of invisibility so well that they stood as a blueprint for modern-day green screen effects. Highly praised upon release and regarded as one of the best films of its era, The Invisible Man has stood the test of time for its ambitious visuals, stirring performances, and masterful exploration of the corruption of power. Followed by a handful of quasi-sequels and spin-offs, The Invisible Man has had an enduring legacy in sci-fi and horror, resulting in everything from under-rated sci-fi dramas, to big-budget remakes and reimaginings that were both underappreciated and evocative, to infamous comic book adaptations of his classic literary icon.

The Review:
I’m somewhat familiar with H. G. Wells’ classic sci-fi story of an invisible man terrorising a small English village, and have long been a fan of the concept and its adaptations and how they often depict an ambitious scientist meddling in things beyond him and turning to madness. The original invisible man (here given the first name “Jack”) is already a rude and demanding character when he first stumbles through the snow and into Iping looking for a room. His appearance startles the locals at the Lion’s Head since he’s covered in bandages. Despite his odd appearance and gruff nature, doting and bothersome landlady Jenny Hall (O’Connor) caters to his every whim. However, the nosey old shrew can’t help but bother Griffin, fussing over his room and catching a glimpse under his bandages, and spreading gossip to her husband, Herbert (Forrester Harvey), and the snooping locals, who believe he’s an escaped criminal. In reality, Griffin is an understudy of Doctor Cranley (Travers), who was allowed to conduct experiments in his spare time. To the suspicion of his colleague, Doctor Arthur Kemp (Harrigan), Griffin worked in secret against the open and honest code of most scientists. Indeed, Griffin’s beautiful fiancée and Dr. Cranley’s daughter, Flora (Stuart), notes that Griffin had become more withdrawn before his sudden disappearance and openly laments his departure, worrying herself sick about his health. Though Dr. Kemp uses Griffin’s actions to proposition her, he’s hilariously unsuccessful and his dislike of Griffin counters Flora’s romanticised opinion of him, strongly indicating that Griffin was previously an eccentric but nonetheless caring and compassionate man.

A mysterious and rude stranger upsets the locals of a small village with his gruesome visage.

Eager for fame and glory, Griffin experimented with the obscure drug “monocaine”, which drains colour from its surroundings. By distilling the substance and regularly injecting it under his skin, Griffin successfully turned himself invisible but fled from his laboratory and home to discover the way back to visibility in seclusion. When he reaches Iping, Griffin is irritable and quick to anger, eventually launching into a tirade after Jenny reprimands him for messing up her sitting room with his bizarre equipment. Insulted and enraged, Jenny orders Herbert to evict their guest, who desperately pleads with the landlord before angrily tossing Herbert down the stairs. The barflies fetch pompous and ludicrous Constable Jaffers (E. E. Clive), only to be amazed when Griffin dramatically reveals he’s completely invisible! While they’re shocked and powerless to catch Griffin, who half-throttles Jaffers and causes havoc in town, the unmasking and the frustration at his condition briefly unhinges Griffin’s usually ordered (if unstable) mind. Griffin delights in chaos before fleeing to Dr. Kemp, who’s stunned when Griffin calmly explains his maniacal plot for a mutually beneficial partnership so that Griffin can terrorise the world with his powers. Though hesitant, Dr. Kemp’s too terrified to resist Griffin’s demands and gives him shelter, helping him retrieve his notebooks, all while Griffin giggles about the mayhem and murder he plans to indulge to showcase his intellectual superiority. While Griffin claims to be “strong” and easily outwits the police as they mobilise to flush out the invisible man causing so much death and panic, he’s still very vulnerable as he must stay naked and out of rain, soot, and snow to remain undetected.

Despite attempts to humanise him, Griffin is largely depicted as an unhinged psychopath.

Griffin’s madness comes in waves, with him switching between reasonable (if callous) and enraged. When docile, he sees Dr. Kemp as his valued and trusted partner but, when angered, Griffin gleefully murders even his reluctant ally when Dr. Kemp calls in first Dr. Cranley and Flora and then the police. Griffin’s demeanour noticeably softens around Flora, but his madness returns when he realises Dr. Kemp has betrayed him. Griffin renews his killing spree, all thoughts of returning to visibility forgotten as he tosses men over ravines, shoves over baby carriages, and casually derails a train, killing over a hundred passengers! Regardless, Flora remains devoted to her man and near sick with worry, though Dr. Cranley’s powerless to do much but promise to help try Griffin once he’s apprehended. When the sceptical Police Chief (Holmes Herbert) is strangled to death for his ignorance, the Chief Detective (Dudley Digges) takes the threat very seriously. Unfortunately for him, his office is swamped with calls from “helpful” civilians offering outlandish solutions and all plans must be spoken privately, necessitating his men walk a giant net across his office! When Griffin vows to murder Dr. Kemp in retaliation, the Chief Detective uses the terrified doctor as bait to lure Griffin into an elaborate trap. However, despite his crazed state, Griffin easily evades the traps and follows Dr. Kemp, casually explaining how he’s going to kill him and then executing the plan, sending Dr. Kemp to a spectacularly fiery death! The invisible man’s rampage continues over several montages, with many policemen and volunteers joining the search and just as many terrified civilians barricading their doors, though Griffin constantly makes fools of them.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The Invisible Man has an edge over many classic Universal Monsters movies with its orchestral score. It also impresses with its surprising and startling body count, especially as the titular antagonist is simply one man running around in the nude. Griffin’s mood swings seemingly grant him augmented strength and he thinks nothing of murdering for his own amusement. As explicitly stated by Dr. Kemp and then reiterated in the finale, The Invisible Man is another cautionary tale of the dangers of dabbling in science. Griffin meddled in things he didn’t understand and, in his arrogance, blundered into his experiment without conducting proper research, essentially dooming himself to madness, debauchery, and ultimately death. The Invisible Man is reasonably close to the source material, recreating many aspects while bolstering Dr. Kemp’s role and altering both the title character and making his unfortunate more dramatic. The book spends more time in Iping, as I recall, while these scenes merely introduce the mystery of the bandaged stranger. Naturally, the concept of a person turning invisible and consequently losing their mind to the freedom and power originates here, with Griffin first toiling for cure and then revelling in his abilities. The process makes him unhinged and gives him an inflated sense of superiority, eventually bringing him ruin. However, Griffin seems perfectly happy to be the all-powerful, untouchable invisible man…except for having to always be naked.

Simple and pioneering filmmaking techniques alike are used to bring Griffin’s rampage to life.

Of course, the most startling way The Invisible Man stands out from its peers is its groundbreaking visual effects. Obviously, everything seen here was achieved practically using unique and clever solutions and they hold up ridiculously well. While it’s clear when a dummy has been used, you can sometimes spot wires, and there’s an odd translucent effect at times, I remain impressed and amazed by the innovation on show. There are scenes where Griffin is simply a talking shirt or has half his jaw missing that blend better than some modern-day CGI and I especially when he took and lit one of Dr. Kmep’s cigarettes with a match. Of course, many of the effects are incredibly simple, being basically actors talking to thin air or pretending to be throttled, but many sequences showcasing the invisible man’s actions were setup to avoid making things too easy. Like, when he escapes through the window, it would’ve been simpler to just show the window opening but, instead, we see the net curtain opening, an ornament set aside, and then the window opens. Other effects are simply achieved through wires, which works incredibly well and the black and white, grainy filter helps hide many of the tricks used. A fun model train and car also go down in flames during Griffin’s rampage to add a sense of danger and scale things. While later iterations relied more and more on CGI, I appreciated the simplicity and hard work that went into rendering Rains invisible. His reveal is an incredibly powerful scene where he angrily tosses his fake nose, glasses, and bandages at the gawping locals and flails like a madman, a far cry from his composed and demanding demeanour and the first true indication that Griffin is gone completely off his nut.

Griffin’s reign of terror is ultimately undone, returning his senses and flesh in time for his death.

While the Chief Detective works to apprehend the invisible man, apparently employing over 100,000 men in a widespread manhunt, he’s eluded at every turn. This is largely because Griffin easily slips past traps or patiently waits to act. While Flora renders him docile, Griffin embraces mayhem and death once the cops mobilise, never once trying to contact Flora. Initially, Griffin wants Dr. Kemp help him spread true chaos. Then, he plots to master the serum so he and Dr. Kemp can take turns indulging their destructive whims (though Dr. Kemp is aghast at this). Upon being discovered, however, Griffin simply runs amok until he burns himself out. Throughout the film, however, Griffin is seen to be exhausted and famished, constantly demanding food, rest, and a fire to warm his frozen, exposed flesh. Though he delights in killing Dr. Kemp, Griffin collapses, exhausted, in a farmer’s (Robert Brower) barn. Upon discovering the sleeping invisible man, the farmer raises the alarm, prompting the Chief Detective to capitalise on the latest snowstorm and flush Griffin out with fire. In desperation, Griffin flees into the snow, where his footprints clearly show, allowing the police to gun him down. Griffin finally reunites with Flora in the hospital where, despite the best efforts of those involved, he faces a quick and probably painful death from the bullets in his lungs. Despite this, there’s no blood and Griffin is coherent enough to make amends with Flora and realise the folly of his experiments. Griffin’s sanity is restored moments before he passes and he dramatically and ambitiously becomes visible, his wounds and death apparently flushing the serum and the madness from his system and leaving Flora distraught by his bedside.

The Summary:
Even now, The Invisible Man is my favourite of all the classic Universal Monsters movies. I think that’s because, from my perspective, the concept hasn’t been as worn out as other classic horror concepts, like Count Dracula or Frankenstein, and also because I find the film more visually impressive than many of its peers. Of course, it’s not perfect: Una O’Connor’s grating, shrieking, over-the-top performance is very obnoxious at the start and many of the later, one-note constables and supporting characters are strangely comical. There’s a fanciful nature to Griffin’s rampage, with many of his actions framed as pranks, but things nicely escalate as he first causes mischief and then amasses one of the greatest body counts of his era! While the film attempts to humanise Griffin through Flora and the descriptions of monocaine, he’s still a despicable and unstable character, being rude and demanding and then giving in to enraged outbursts when his experiments are constantly interrupted. We see little of Griffin’s more logical, compassionate side, instead seeing him flip-flop between being coldly ruthless and utterly off his rocker as he plots to cause chaos alongside Dr. Kemp. It’s a stirring, magnetic performance from Claude Rains, especially as he’s barely in the film and yet his presence is constantly felt. Of course, The Invisible Man really impresses with its ambitious and ground-breaking visual effects, pioneering practical filmic techniques that were further refined over time. I personally believe these sequences hold up extremely well, especially because of the black and white film stock, and have aged the most gracefully of all the Universal Monsters films of this era. The Invisible man also set the standard for the concept many would follow but few would as masterfully execute, and told a stirring cautionary tale about the dangers of science in a way that was at least somewhat scientifically plausible. Ultimately, while The Invisible Man is more shocking and at times amusing than scary like its peers, it’s an admirable product of its time that still makes an impression today and you’re truly missing out if you’ve slept on this classic piece of cinema.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Were you as impressed by The Invisible Man as I was? If you read the book, what did you think to the film’s execution of the concept? Did you like the attempts to humanise Griffin or do you prefer him as an unhinged maniac? What did you think to the visual effects used to render Claude Rains invisible and do you agree that they hold up today? Were you surprised by the large death toll? Which version of The Invisible Man, or Universal Monsters movie, is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Make your thoughts on The Invisible Man visible in the comments, go read my other horror reviews, and support me on Ko-Fi for more translucent horror content.

Movie Night: Blade: Trinity

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 8 December 2004
Director: David S. Goyer
Distributor: New Line Cinema
Budget: $65 million
Stars: Wesley Snipes, Dominic Purcell, Jessica Biel, Ryan Reynolds, Parker Posey, and Triple H

The Plot:
After being exposed and vilified by a vampire ruse, half-human, half-vampire vampire hunter Blade (Snipes) reluctantly teams with the upstart “Nightstalkers” against the resurrected Count Dracula/Drake (Purcell).

The Background:
The brainchild of Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan, Eric Brooks/Blade (an obscure and culturally problematic vampire hunter) first appeared in The Tomb of Dracula decades before a radically different version essentially birthed the modern superhero genre. Following years of development and rewrites, Blade (Norrington, 1998) was a critical and commercial hit that was followed by a divisive (if profitable) sequel about three years later. Plans for a third film were made before Blade II (Del Toro, 2002) was released, with writer David S. Goyer tapped to pen the film and Oliver Hirschbiegel initially in talks to direct. When those plans fell apart, Goyer took the big job after receiving advice from previous Blade directors Stephen Norrington and Guillermo Del Toro. Ryan Reynolds signed on, with Goyer tentatively hoping for a spin-off for his wise-cracking character, though the shoot was reportedly tense when star Wesley Snipes fell out with Goyer, refusing to talk to him or even follow basic directions. Though co-star Patton Oswalt spoke negatively of the experience, Snipes later claimed these reports were over dramatised and an elaborate ruse. Although it grossed slightly more than the first film, Blade: Trinity was widely panned for being a nonsensical mess lacking the style and substance of its predecessors and for having one of the worst onscreen renditions of Dracula. Though plans for a crossover with the Underworld franchise (Various, 2003 to 2016), the character lived on in a short-lived TV show and Snipes even reprised the role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe ahead of a complete reboot.

The Review:
Things start out normal for everyone’s favourite dhampir as he knocks off vampires and operates out of a repurposed garage/warehouse much like in the first movie. Blade is oddly baffled when a victim shrugs off silver, despite claiming to have killed 1182 Familiars, and being easily fooled by fake fangs despite his heightened senses. This costs him when bystanders witness him killing a man in cold blood and Danica Talos (Parker Posey) releases the footage, painting Blade as a psychopathic murderer and exposing him to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I.), specifically Agent Ray Cumberland (James Remar). While Blade’s mentor and father figure, Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) returns, he’s little more than a cameo who encourages Blade to rely on others and dramatically sacrifices himself holding off Cumberland’s strike team. The normally stoic dhampir is once again anguished by the loss, which further undermines his unnecessary return in Blade II. Much of Blade’s exchanges with Whistler set up his central character arc, namely his reluctance to rely on others or accept help (which is also a bit odd considering he worked with others, and even a vampire crack squad, before and Blade II painted him as a natural leader). Though Blade openly scoffs at the idea of having friends or relying on others, Drake’s threat forces him to fall in with the Nightstalkers, who Whistler secretly organised to aid him (despite them not appearing the last time Whistler died).

Devastated by Whistler’s loss, Blade reluctantly teams with a group of upstart vampire hunters.

The Nightstalkers are an eclectic bunch of young upstarts who immediately rub Blade the wrong way, with wise-cracking Hannibal King (Reynolds) particularly grating on Blade’s nerves due to his motor mouth. Despite Blade’s very aggressive and unapologetic scepticism, though, the Nightstalkers sport state of the art tech and weapons, such as Abigail “Abby” Whistler’s (Biel) ultraviolet bow and Sommerfield’s (Natasha Lyonne) “Daystar” pathogen to wipe out the vampire species (which is doubly impressive considering she’s blind). Abby and Hannibal join Blade as the titular “trinity”, leaving Blade stunned to learn that Whistler had a secret daughter. While we never learn how close she and her father were, it’s clear she’s as haunted by her past and driven by revenge like Whistler, who wanted to destroy all vampires for torturing and killing his family. While Blade reluctantly becomes a key figure in the Nightstalkers, he also becomes a mentor for Abby, teaching her to “use” her pain and anger at the death of her friends to better aid her in battle, though she impresses with her speed and deftness and her ability to fight while listening to music. Hannibal’s fast talking, smarmy attitude clashes with Blade’s reserved personality, leading to the dhampir all-but dismissing King despite him formally being Danica’s plaything. This gives him all the motivation for hating vampires and wanting to wipe them out, something Blade can definitely relate to, though he remains adamant that the Nightstalkers need an attitude adjustment and some proper, experienced leadership. Hannibal may be a shit-talker, but he’s both extremely cut and loyal, insulting sadistic brute Jarko Grimwood’s (Triple H) manhood and bravely defying Danica, but he’s terrified of being turned back into a vampire and forced to feed his loved ones.

Parker Posey drags every scene down with her atrocious line delivery and ham acting.

Blade: Trinity shows a new side to vampire society as Familiars wage a public relations war against Blade and control the local police, placing Blade in an unwinnable and desperate situation. Danica leads her brother, Asher (Callum Keith Rennie), and Jarko, in reviving Dracula in hopes of cementing their race’s dominance. In a film full of missteps and poor ideas, Parker Posey has to be one of the worst. While she seems to be having fun and is certainly chewing the scenery with her over the top performance, she’s literally painful to watch and drags the already questionable script further down with her atrocious delivery and childish tantrums. While Triple H doesn’t fare much better, he at least has an imposing presence and some funny character quirks, such as his love for a Reaper-like Pomeranian and his heated rivalry with Blade and Hannibal, matching his brawn and smart mouth against both. While the vampires are clearly well funded and have many resources, even setting up literal blood banks to sustain them when they take over, they seem far less organised and capable, with Danica so desperately unearthing Dracula to blood can transform her race into dhampirs. Danica and Jarko hate Blade and Hannibal with a passion, the former because he’s systematically wiping out their race and the latter because he’s a smart ass who routinely insults them even when suffering brutal torture. Having previously turned and tortured Hannibal and presumably had numerous run-ins with him, Danica delights in seeing him suffer but seems to have some respect for Blade and is especially envious of his ability to walk in daylight. While Drake quickly acts in his own interests, exploring the city and toying with Blade on his own terms, Danica seems okay with this (not that she can stand against Dracula’s power) since she’s convinced Drake will turn the tide for her entire race.

Despite his impressive demonic form, Drake may be one of the worst filmic Dracula’s ever seen.

Echoing the same sense of superiority as the Pure Bloods of the previous films, Drake is said to be the first vampire, a demonic entity who’s never had to evolve who was a feared Sumerian warrior before entering a long period of hibernation after becoming disgusted by the world. However, as much as I enjoy Dominic Purcell’s work, he’s a poor fit for the role. With his stocky physique and robotic delivery, he’s very much the opposite of the Dracula legend as told by Hannibal, to say nothing of the classically trained actors who usual embody the part. While Blade: Trinity repeatedly downplays the movies and popular depictions of Dracula, Drake is fast enough to avoid bullets, exhibits superhuman strength, and is an accomplished shapeshifter. Drake strangely mimics Whistler to attack the Nightstalkers and is initially depicted as a monstrous, armoured demon overcome by “The Thirst”, a look that’s honestly more menacing and unique than his bog standard “Everyman” guise. Before he takes the lame-ass name “Drake”, Dracula is disgusted by Danica and modern-day vampires, rightly seeing them as “shadows” of their former glory. However, Drake’s convinced to begrudgingly aid them to test himself against Blade, whom he sees as the future of the vampire race and a formidable opponent. Drake is mesmerised by the modern world, it’s glorification of vampires, and how decadent and soft humanity and vampires have become. Unlike Blade, who resists the bloodlust of the Thirst, Drake gives into it at every opportunity, using it to further augment his abilities and freely feeding upon his victims to fuel his strength. Said to have the purest blood of all vampires, Sommerfield theorises that Drake holds the key to eliminating all vampires with Daystar just as Danica hopes Blade’s blood will ensure vampire survival. Thus, Blade and Drake are positioned as opposites and equals, though Dracula only ever appears as such when in his impressive, sadly little seen demonic form (which, interestingly, also sports Reaper-like fangs).

The Nitty-Gritty:
Knowing how chaotic and troubled Blade: Trinity’s production was, it’s hard not to read more into Blade’s disgust at the Nightstalkers, whom he sees as “amateurs”. Indeed, he shows more animosity towards them than he does the Blood Pack, though this may be because Whistler never told him of the “sleeper cells” he prepared to aid Blade. While the Nightstalkers are more capable than Blade gives them credit, they lack his years of experience and unique insight into fighting vampires, though they recognise this and see him as essential to the cause. It’s equally true that they’re slightly less impressive than their comic book counterparts, with Hannibal King, especially, being quite different as it was originally him, not Blade, who was a dhampir. I don’t mind this change much, mainly because I barely know Hannibal and the changes made to Blade only benefitted the character, but I can’t help but be unimpressed by Dracula, who lacks gravitas and finesse and comes across as just another formidable vampire threat for Blade. Blade: Trinity leans more into humour than its predecessors, particular through Ryan Reynolds’ obvious riffing. While I enjoy his humour and delivery, it’s constantly framed as inappropriate and awkward as no one, not even Abby, acknowledges his quips regarding Danica’s vagina fangs, pop-culture references, or Blade’s grim façade. While it’s clear Hannibal is using humour as a coping mechanism, he’s portrayed as a hyperactive little kid whom Abby keeps in check like a big-sister. Abby’s thus devastated when Drake slaughters her friends and kidnaps Somerfield’s young daughter, Zoe (Ginger “Haili” Page), channelling her grief and rage to emulate Blade’s stoic demeanour despite Zoe showing no fear even when Drake tries to intimidate her with blasphemy.

Fights are still very impressive, with Abby especially taking the spotlight with her archery skills.

Blade has some new toys here, including a fun silver-lined roped dagger and a new delivery system for his serum, alongside his usual muscle car, trademark sword, and gun. However, it’s the Nightstalkers who get all the cool gear, such as Abby sporting a silver danger in her boot, lugging around a high-tech bow that sports an ultraviolet laser and lets her shoot around corners, and a wrist-mounted dagger. While Hannibal largely relies on pistols and his smart mouth, he also busts out ultraviolent grenades and Hedges (Patton Oswalt), the Nightstalkers’ resident armourer, develops an “electronic pistol” that fires explosive silver rounds and a high-impact shotgun (similar to those used by the Blood Pack) that fires anything from stakes to heat-seeking mini rockets. While these are rarely used, and Wesley Snipes may appear more lethargic and stoic than usual, Blade continues to ooze charisma and shine in fight scenes, executing kicks and throws with a slick precision to showcase Blade’s raw power whenever the Thirst takes hold. Overall, fights are easy to follow and vampires still explode into cinders and ashes when killed. There are some fun montages of Blade, Hannibal, and Abby knocking around Familiars to get a lead on Drake and Blade frantically chases Drake through the city, leading to a tense rooftop showdown where Drake endangers a baby simply to parlay with the feared Daywalker. When Sommerfield’s research leads Blade and Abby to a vampire “blood bank”, revealing they keep braindead vagrants as a food source, they return to find Zoe and the injured Hannibal kidnapped and the other Nightstalkers dead, with Drake using the two as bait. This leads not just to the now traditional montage of Blade suiting up and preparing for battle and Abby compiling a suitable playlist, but also to Abby working through her grief by preparing her bow and practising her impressive archery skills.

Though victorious after an intense sword fight, Blade’s war is apparently far from over…

Sommerfield leaves a message asking Abby to take care of Zoe and discussing the Daystar prototype, though warns that it must be injected into Drake to work and could potentially kill Blade alongside the other vampires. Regardless, Blade and Abby take the virus (helpfully forged to be fired as an arrow) and follow Hannibal’s tracker, spreading silver dust through the facility’s air conditioning to weaken the vampires ahead of a full-frontal assault. While Blade and Abby fend off Danica’s disposable goons with their karate and toys to rescue Zoe, Hannibal struggles against the hulking Jarko while Blade gets into a swordfight with Drake, now garbed in ceremonial armour. For all the shit I’ve talked about this Dracula, this sword fight is actually really cool (despite some dodgy CGI sequences where Drake defies gravity) and nicely spliced alongside Hannibal and Jarko’s more brutal smackdown, which ends with an exhausted and overwhelmed Hannibal stuffing an explosive ultraviolet round into Jarko’s mouth and blowing him inside out. Although relishing matching swords with Blade, Drake assumes his demonic form to overpower Blade, leaving him prone for a bloody end. While Drake has the wherewithal to catch Abby’s arrow, a second shot stuns him long enough for Blade to inject the Daystar virus, which immediately reacts with Dracula’s blood to reduce all remaining vampires in the building (including Danica) to choking, rotting corpses. In his final moments, Drake commends Blade and praises him as the future of his species, using the last of his power to mimic Blade’s form to spare him future persecution. Though the wounded dhampir’s recovered by his allies, Hannibal’s final narration delivers an anticlimactic and open-ended coda that sees Blade continuing his war, suggesting that Daystar will take some time to eradicate the vampire threat.

The Summary:
While Blade: Trinity is nowhere near as bad as many would have to believe and is still a sleek, sexy, kick-ass vampire action movie, there’s no denying the drop in quality from the previous two films. While the action is as hard hitting and bloody as ever, there are some unmistakable flaws, like Blade’s stupidity regarding Familiars, the glossed over explanation of Abby’s birth, and the overreliance of Ryan Reynolds’ smart mouth humour. While I do enjoy him here, your enjoyment of Blade: Trinity may depend on if you can stomach his wise-ass jokes, which are oddly framed as awkward and childish. Personally, I much preferred Hannibal King to Abby, who showed little personality until Sommerfield’s brutal death, with the film bizarrely avoiding emphasing her heritage, how that affects Blade, and his role as a mentor to her. While the film is as stylish as its predecessors and competently presented in the same visual style, with fun, well-choreographed, and well edited fight scenes, I do question the casting of Parker Posey. She’s just awful here, hamming up every line and looking spaced out in every scene. Triple H’s physical performance was impressive, leading to a decent David vs. Goliath fight between him and Hannibal and I did like his animosity towards Hannibal, which was in stark contrast to Blade’s stoic dismissal. For me, Blade: Trinity drops the ball with its depiction of Dracula. Robbed of his aristocracy and screen presence, Drake appears as just another vampire thug unless he’s in his impressive demon form. Dominic Purcell just doesn’t have the gravitas for the role, and I would’ve much preferred he took Danica’s place, and a classically trained actor was cast as Dracula to give him a better aura of menace and refinement. Additionally, Blade: Trinity does do a disservice to the title character by having Abby, Hannibal, and the Nightstalkers eat into his screen time to set up a spinoff we never got. In the end, I think Blade: Trinity is a decent film to throw on in the background and is unfairly saddled with a negative reputation. It’s not as good as the last two and has far more flaws, but it’s decent enough, though I appreciate how many see it as disappointing end for the character.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Blade: Trinity? How do you think it compares to the previous Blade movies? What did you think to the Nightstalkers? Did you enjoy Hannibal’s lewd sense of humour and do you agree that the film dropped the ball with Abby’s potential? Were you disappointed by Dracula’s lukewarm portrayal and did you also find Parker Posey a grating inclusion? What would you like to see from Blade in future movies? Whatever your thoughts on Blade: Trinity, share them below, check out my other Blade reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Blade content.

Mini Game Corner [Back to the Future Day]: Back to the Future Part II (Master System)

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In Back to the Future Part II (Zemeckis, 1989), Marty McFly (Michael J. Fox) travels to October 21, 2015, which is known as “Back to the Future Day” to celebrate the franchise and science.

Released: 1990
Developer: Image Works
Also Available For: Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, Commodore 64, MS-DOS, and ZX Spectrum

A Brief Background:
Celebrated as one of the most beloved, iconic, successful, and influential film trilogies ever made, the Back to the Future trilogy sits in a rare category where each film is as good, if not better, than the last. As if reaping over $960 million in worldwide gross wasn’t enough, the trilogy expanded into comic books, cartoons, and videogames. Unfortunately, it would take decades for gamers to be treated to a halfway decent release (one that effectively functioned as a fourth film, no less) and, until then, players endured a slew of mediocre to sadly obscure to aggravating movie tie-ins. Accordingly, to capitalise on the critical and financial success of the unexpected and ground-breaking sequel, multiple adaptations of Back to the Future Part II made their way to home consoles, with this version being coming courtesy of the UK’s own Image Works. Unfortunately, their efforts were met with negativity and the game was seen as a poor adaptation of the movie, with reviews criticising the stunted gameplay and poor sprite work (though the music was largely praised).

The Review:
Back to the Future Part II is a bit of an oddball title that’s a mixture of genres, though it’s primarily a 2D sidescroller. It’s a short game, consisting of only five stages (referred to as “Missions”), with no checkpoints, continues, or opportunities to gain extra lives that I could see. You start the game with at least three lives and a health bar; once you exhaust them all, the game ends and you must start over. I’ve had bad experiences with retro Back to the Future games after a dismal childhood playing Back to the Future Part III (Probe Software, 1991) on the Amiga but I needed Master System-exclusive titles to fill my library and took a risk with this one. Sadly, this didn’t pay off and I never managed to get past the first Mission or finish the last one. Luckily, Back to the Future Part II includes a handy level select code so I experienced everything the game had to offer in terms of level selection, and I feel that’s enough to warrant a full (if short) review rather than categorising it as a “did not finish”. The game honestly gets off to a great start, ambitiously recreating Alan Silvestri’s iconic score in chip tune glory and featuring it throughout as a highlight. The title screen recreates the movie logo and there’s even some surprisingly detailed sprite art and text giving a brief overview of the plot and acting as interludes between Missions. Leave the game running and you’ll see a demo mode play that tells you everything you need to know about the game as the tester clearly fails in the first Mission and quits using the same level select code!

Unfortunately, the game falls flat on its face after a decent first impression.

The plot is exactly the same as the movie, but more fleshed out in the instruction manual and very loosely translated into sidescrolling stages and mini games that offer a great deal of variety but aren’t executed very well. Back to the Future Part II falls apart in its first stage, where you (as Marty McFly) take to a hoverboard and trundle down an autoscroller stage in Hill Valley, 2015. Marty’s sprite (and all the game’s sprites) is woefully basic, with barely any animation to show him pushing himself along or punching. I get that the Master System is a weaker system, but I’ve seen it do far better than this ugly effort. In the first stage, you guide Marty along jumping over hazards (oil slicks, strangely deadly curbs, and guys popping out of manholes) and avoiding Griff Tannen’s gang, random pedestrians, the elderly Biff Tannen, and cars that race along. Your punch does little and helpful robots drop various power-ups that speed you up or replenish your health. However, it’s basically a one-hit kill affair that kicks you back to the title screen before you realise what’s happening. There’s a point system here but I’m not sure what it does; there’s no high score table and I died too quickly to see if you gain extra lives. After trying and failing multiple times to beat this section, I skipped ahead to Mission 2, which is really a glorified mini game. Advertised as a “logic puzzle”, it switches to a top-down perspective and has you selecting doors to guide Jennifer Parker out of her future self’s home. You have three minutes to do this and must avoid the McFly family who’re wandering around, but as far as I could tell it doesn’t matter if you succeed or fail, and you can simply progress on (or retry the Mission) after randomly selecting some doors.

Some impressive backgrounds and gameplay variety can’t save this clunky, frustrating mess.

Mission 3 sees you controlling Marty in the alternate 1985, you’re moving to the right and hopping over barrels and tyres and using the directional pad and button 1 to punch, kick, or throw stuff. This was very clunky and felt like wading through goo; your best bet is to press down and 1 to sweep the leg rather than relying on frisbees and rocks. Mission 3 did impress with its backgrounds, though. Jennifer’s house, Lyon Estates, and Stanford Strickland’s house are all ambitiously represented, and Strickland himself even appears to fill you with lead. You can simply jump over him and carry on, collecting random colourful sprites that refill your health or award points and seem to represent parts for the time machine or the Grey’s Sports Almanac. I managed to beat this stage but it was very anti-climactic as it abruptly ended when you reached a billboard (there’s no in-game rendition of the DeLorean here!) Mission 4 is another glorified mini game that gives you three minutes to rearrange a slide puzzle and complete the picture of Marty playing “Johnny B. Goode” alongside the Starlighters. I hate these games and couldn’t figure out how to finish the image, so I just settled for matching Marty’s head with his torso and waited out the timer. Mission 5, sadly, is a carbon copy of Mission 1 except Marty has a new sprite and the hazards are a little different. There are puddles on the ground, for example, banana peels, barriers, and cones, multiple Old Biff’s, and Young Biff barrelling about in his Ford Super De Luxe Convertible. I did progress far enough for the perspective to switch to an isometric slant, which was disorientating and made Marty’s punch even more useless, but I couldn’t retrieve the Almanac from Biff and was done after a few tries.

The Summary:
It’s a wonder we ever got a good Back to the Future game at all with mess like this sullying the franchise. Back to the Future Part II is my favourite of the trilogy so it stings a little more seeing it so poorly brought to life on what I feel is one of retrogaming’s most under-appreciated consoles. Sadly, there’s not much to defend here as the game looks and plays terribly, bringing us sprites that’d make the Atari blush and delivering gameplay so clunky you’d swear your controller was on the fritz. The music is impressive, I’ll admit, as is the sprite art used in the interludes and such, but it’s not enough to save this mess of a game. It’s so bizarre as the Master System was more than capable of delivering solid, colourful platformers and it can’t’ve been that hard to just have Marty hop about collecting pages from the Almanac and racing along on his hoverboard. I appreciated the gameplay variety on offer but the main gameplay is barely a step up from the first movie’s notoriously bad outing on the Nintendo Entertainment System. Shamelessly designed to cash-in on a profitable franchise and have to wasting your pocket money on subsequent rentals, Back to the Future Part II is best avoided, no matter how big a fan of the franchise you are, for its ungainly and off-putting gameplay and presentation.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Did you ever play Back to the Future Part II on the Master System? If so, what did you think of it? Did you manage to beat the game without using the level select? What did you think of the different gameplay mechanics on offer? Which Back to the Future videogame is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating Back to the Future Day today? Whatever you think about Back to the Future, feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Movie Night: Hatchet

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Released: 7 September 2007
Director: Adam Green
Distributor: Anchor Bay Entertainment / Echo Bridge Entertainment
Budget: $1.5 million
Stars: Joel David Moore, Tamara Feldman, Kane Hodder, Deon Richmond, Mercedes McNab, and Parry Shen

The Plot:
During Mardi Gras in New Orleans, tourists find themselves stranded on a haunted swamp tour and discover that disfigured local bogeyman Victor Crowley (Hodder) is butchering his way through the wilderness.

The Background:
Although John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978) wasn’t the first “slasher” film, it unquestionably popularised the horror sub-genre and inspired a bunch of copycats back in the day, directly birthing the equally iconic Friday the 13th franchise (Various, 1980 to present). These slashers established such famous horror tropes as hulking, silent, masked killers stalking dense woodlands, and proved incredibly popular in part because they consistently returned to these clichés. However, after decades of slashers, the genre became somewhat stale and horror explored other avenues. For first-time director Adam Green, Hatchet was an attempt to pay homage to the spirit of the genre and create a new horror icon in the malformed Victor Crowley. Inspired by ghost stories told while he was at camp as a boy, Crowley was brought to life by certified horror legend Kane Hodder, who welcomed the chance not just to portray another monstrous killer but also flex his more dramatic acting muscles in a dual role. Despite struggling to fund the film, Green secured cameos by horror royalty Robert Englund and Tony Todd and produced one of the most celebrated gorefests in all of modern horror. Initially airing at the 2006 London FrightFest Film Festival, Hatchet underperformed at the box office and received mixed reviews, but recouped its losses and found an audience on home media. While some criticised it for digging up well-worn tropes and odd comedic elements, others lauded the unapologetically brutal throwback and Hatchet inspired three more equally gory, cult favourite entries alongside a bunch of comic books, and toys.

The Review:
Hatchet immediately loses points in my estimation simply for taking place in a dark, murky, often rainswept swamp in the backwaters of New Orleans. I never find these settings all that enjoyable as they’re gloomy and off-putting. Luckily, Hatchet plays into the disgusting and confusing setting, with sceptical, unimpressed Marcus Harrison (Richmond) constantly complaining to Ben Schaefer (Moore) about being stuck in the dank swamp. Marcus feels obligated to accompany his friend on a “haunted swamp tour” since Been is struggling after recently being dumped by his girlfriend, who amusingly took off with an amateur wrestler. Marcus and their other friends bring him to Mardi Gras for a bout of booze and boobs, only for Ben to be far from in the partying mood. After learning that the enigmatic Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) had to shut down his tours after being sued by a disgruntled tourist, the two follow his directions to Shawn Young’s (Shen) business, where he enthusiastically and theatrically takes anyone on a night-time tour through the local, forbidden swamp (though he naturally charges the pretty girls less). While Ben’s excited to experience some local flavour and something to better take his mind off his heartbreak, Marcus is very disgruntled, refusing to pay his way and barely being excited at joining aspiring porn stars Jenna (Joleigh Fioreavanti) and Misty (McNab) on the tour (even with them constantly whipping their boobs out).

Ben and Marcus are horrified when the swamp tour becomes a fight for survival against a savage killer.

I really enjoyed the banter and friendship between Ben and Marcus, with Ben even encouraging his friend to return to the party with no guilt but being genuinely happy to have him along. Ben constantly tries to see the positive in what quickly becomes a disappointing tour and a horrific situation, but makes a fool of himself with stoic local Marybeth Dunston (Feldman). Already annoyed at being stuck on the tour, Marcus is incensed when Shawn’s local knowledge, accent, and capabilities slowly deteriorate, with the inexperienced guide getting lost, messing up local legends and landmarks, and finally scuttling the boat and revealing that he has no idea of where he is or what he’s doing. This deception extends to pornographic film producer Doug Shapiro (Joel Murray), who dupes airheads Jenna and Misty into flashing their goods for his private porn collection. Luckily, friendly and enthusiastic couple Jim (Richard Riehle) and Shannon Permatteo (Patrika Darbo) help balance out the group’s duplicitous nature, happily greeting each of their fellow tourists (with Jim being especially friendly to the girls) but causing Shawn grief when they join Marcus and Marybeth in correcting his many mistakes. While Jenna and Misty are constantly bickering, Ben fails to get close to Marybeth, randomly pouring out his recent troubles while she gives him the cold shoulder. After they’re left stranded in the swamp, Jim injured from an alligator attack, the group’s panic turns to horror when Marybeath reveals the truth about local legend Victor Crowley and her true reasons for joining the tour. Namely, it was the cheapest and easiest way to investigate the disappearance of her father (Robert Englund) and brother (Joshua Leonard). Although she comes armed with a gun and knowledge about Crowley, the group is nevertheless largely helpless against the vengeful spirit, especially as they’re constantly turned around and failing to heed Marybeth’s warnings.

Though a tragic figure, Victor is a wild, brutal spirit who tears his victims apart.

As a local, Marybeth knows all about Victor Crowley, a disfigured and simple-minded boy raised in isolation by his devoted father (Hodder). Regularly bullied for his horrific appearance, Victor was kept hidden in the Crowley shack deep in the woods and cared for by his father, until some kids came to bully the boy. Their firecrackers accidentally set the shack ablaze, trapping the panicked Victor inside and, when his father tried to break down the door, Victor took a hatchet to the face and died, with his father following some ten years later. Since then, the locals shun the swamp for fear of disturbing Victor’s unquiet spirit, which roams the swamps crying for his father and savagely tearing trespassers apart. Naturally, the tourists fall back on denial even after Victor brutalises the Permatteos. Though he can be wounded and slowly and is clearly a physical being, Victor’s essentially a wraith or spirit of some kind that cannot be permanently stopped and who exhibits incredible physical strength. Victor appears out of nowhere, rips off arms and torsos, tears open heads, and is adept with various tools. Obviously, his primary weapon is a rusty, dull, bloodstained hatchet but Victor also utilises a belt sander to brutalise his victims. A hideous backwoods monster, Victor stalks his prey relentlessly, easily shrugging off Marybeth’s bullets and even being set ablaze. Victor’s wild, unpredictable nature sees him easily get the drop on each of his victims, ripping out their insides, turning their heads around, and comically splattering gore all over. While it’s easy to dismiss Victor as a knock-off Jason Voorhees, he’s an erratic and animalistic brute who showcases a caveman-like violence. Hodder pulls double duty as Victor’s father, giving him a small chance to showcase emotions beyond just rage, but throws himself into the role of the disfigured brute, who seemingly relishing getting his grubby hands on his perplexed and terrified victims.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Like Wishmaster (Kurtzman, 1997), Hatchet is a homage to the horror genre and features cameos by some bona fide horror legends. Tony Todd delivers a scenery chewing cameo as the bizarre Reverend Zombie and Robert Englund appears in the opening as Marybeth’s ‘gater huntin’ father who gets his guts ripped out by Crowley offscreen. Kane Hodder, arguably the most recognisable incarnation of Jason Voorhees, brings a crazed mania to Crowley alongside his undeniable screen presence. There’s an air of camp surrounding much of the film, with characters constantly spouting amusing lines, bickering, or turning out to not be what they presented. Shapiro, for example, duped the girls into thinking he was a porn producer but was simply a regular dude with a camera who just wanted to film titties. Jenna and Misty are constantly arguing over what one of them is the stupidest and the sexiest. Though the voice of reason, Marcus is forced to endure the dingy swamp but is the first to tap out with Victor attacks, preferring to hide up a tree and wait for help and only coerced into venturing on because he doesn’t want to be left alone. Hatchet firmly has its tongue in its cheek at times, portraying even the kills as ludicrously over the top, meaning much of its horror comes from Victor’s gruesome appearance, jump scares, and how well you can stomach gore splattering everywhere.

The gore and brutal kills are hilariously over the top and the best part of the film.

Every kill is deliciously over the top, with blood and viscera and entrails splattering across trees, Victor, and other characters. Every time Victor gets his hands on someone, I cringed as he’s so immensely powerful that he can twist Shapiro’s head completely around (and off!). Victor tends to rip the arms off his victims and throw their screaming, bleeding bodies all about, which is sadly the fate that befalls Marcus. Despite constantly urging the others to get the hell out of there, Marcus gets both arms ripped off and is smashed against a tombstone, leaving Ben so distraught that he all-but gives up running. Shawn’s attempts to fight Victor end very badly as the beast hacks off his foot and head with a shovel, Jenna gets a face full of a belt sander, wearing her jaw down to mush before being impaled on said shovel, and Misty also ends up with her head cut off. Poor Jim suffers a particularly ghastly end thanks to being slowed by his leg wound. Victor easily catches him and repeatedly hacks at his shoulder with his hatchet, finally cutting the friendly bloke diagonally in two across the torso. Shannon gets barely a minute to grieve before Victor pounces on her for the film’s most brutal kill, which sees Victor grab Shannon’s jaw and tear her head in two! Hatchet certainly impresses with how savage and unsettling its kills are, utilising practical effects in every instance and pumping its often-obvious fake bodies full of blood to spray out. It’s incredibly unrealistic and clearly an excuse to show off some gory special effects, but I welcome it as the dark lighting and frantic nature of the kills adds to their horror, and it’s refreshing to see a slasher be so uncompromisingly explicit with its kills after years of Friday the 13th movies being butchered by censorship.

Despite appearing to escape, Ben and Marybeth are attacked by the unstoppable Victor in the finale…

After her father and brother go missing in the swamp, Marybeth arms herself and joins Shawn’s tour to search for them, regardless of the danger posed by Victor, only to be distraught to find their remains. Though she shuns Ben’s awkward flirting, she’s forced to reveal the truth about Victor to the terrified survivors and try to lead them to safety, fully aware that they’re essentially doomed since Victor owns the swamps. Indeed, her knowledge proves largely useless as Victor tears them apart one by one, easily returning no matter how many times Marybeth shoots him. Theorising that the monster can conceivably be stopped, the survivors attempt to burn him alive at his old shack, only for rain to mess up their plan, resulting in Jenna, Misty, and (most sadly of all, for Ben at least) Marcus being brutalised by Crowley. Encouraged by Marybeth, Ben struggles on and gets impaled through the foot by a pole. While this roots Ben to the spot, it provides the perfect means to impale Victor when he comes charging in to finish the job, seemingly ending his threat with one final and amusing regurgitation of gore from the monster’s mutilated lips. Marybeth helps Bent to a nearby boat and the two hope to drift to safety, only for Marybeth to tumble into the dangerous, alligator-infested swamp water. Tangled in seaweed, Marybeth gratefully reaches for Ben’s hand when he tries to save her, only to be horrified by Victor’s roaring visage! Having survived their attack due to being cursed to relive the night of his death over and over, Victor clambered into the boat, tore off Ben’s arm, and used it to lure Marybeth into his clutches, ending the film on a shocking cliffhanger that’s another homage to some of the slasher greats of old.

The Summary:
Despite not being a fan of swamp settings, I do have a soft spot for Hatchet. It’s not a horror film I watch often as it can be very dark and the environment isn’t that appealing to me, meaning I often forget how fun it can be. The writing is just the right level of ridiculous and realistic, with Ben coming across as an incredibly awkward guy just trying to find his feet after a breakup and desperately hoping for the best even in a horrific situation. Marcus stole the show most of the time, bringing the right level of cynical energy and yet being unable to escape his fate, while Shawn provided many amusing moments and the Permatteos offered friendly faces amidst such disreputable people. It was a shame to see the two go, but they sure went out in spectacular fashion, beautifully emphasising Hatchet’s main selling point: the over-the-top gore! Victor Crowley makes for a decent slasher villain, being a sympathetic mongoloid unfairly bullied by the locals but driven to a murderous, unquenchable rage following his death. While his design isn’t much different from the hundreds of backwater freaks in horror films, Kane Hodder brings a manic, savage energy and Victor stands out by massacring anyone he gets his hands on! Sadly, Tamara Feldman was a bit of a weak link (it’s no surprise she was replaced by the far better Danielle Harris in the sequels) and the film’s humour may miss with some audiences. I enjoyed it but even I was a bit surprised with how oddball some of the lines and performances were. Hatchet aimed to craft a brand-new horror icon and legend and, while I wouldn’t say Victor Crowley will be topping any best-of lists any time soon, he certainly makes an impression and there was some decent world-building here, which was bolstered by some fun cameos. I’d say Hatchet is well worth your time if you’re a fan of slashers and over the top gore, or just want a fun, mindless horror film to put on in the background, though it’s true there are better alternatives out there.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Hatchet? What did you think to Victor Crowley, his tragic backstory and his violent nature? Did you enjoy the film’s quirky sense of humour and over the top gore? Which kill was your favourite? Are you a fan of swamp settings? Which of Hatchet’s sequels is your favourite, if any? Whatever your thoughts on Hatchet, leave them below, check out my other horror content, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you’d like to see me review the other Hatchet movies.