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Movie Night: Alien: Romulus

24/08/202426/04/2025Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 16 August 2024
Director: Fede Álvarez
Distributor: 20^th Century Studios
Budget: $80 million
Stars: Cailee Spaeny, David Jonsson, Archie Renaux, Isabela Merced, Spike Fearn, Aileen Wu, and Trevor Newlin

The Plot:
Trapped on a backwater Weyland-Yutani world, young miner Rain Carradine (Spaeny) and her android “brother”, Andy (Jonsson), are roped into investigating the drifting Romulus/Remus space station, only to unwittingly awaken a crop of Facehuggers and begin the Xenomorph threat anew.

The Background:
In 1979, director Ridley Scott brought to life Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett’s long-gestating concept “Jaws (Spielberg, 1975) in space” with Alien, a critically acclaimed sci-fi horror classic that unexpectedly spawned an entire franchise. While its sequel, Aliens (Cameron, 1986), was equally influential in its own right, its third and fourth follow-ups were divisive, to say the least, and the franchise was all-but dead in the water after the overall lacklustre reception of the two vs. Predator crossovers (Various, 2004;2007). After much deliberation, Ridley Scott returned to the franchise with two prequels; while Prometheus’ (Scott, 2012) $400+ million box office made it a financial success, both it and Alien: Covenant (ibid, 2017) divided critics and talks of a third film soon stalled. While the franchise was kept alive by the critical success of Alien: Isolation (Creative Assembly, 2014), a survival/horror game that returned to Ridley’s original movie for inspiration, the acquisition of 20th Century Fox by the Walt Disney Company saw talks of new Alien movies begin anew. Fede Álvarez came onboard to direct a standalone “midquel” that was originally scheduled to release on the Hulu streaming platform before being quickly upgraded to a cinema release. Inspired by Alien: Isolation and having consulted both Ridley Scott and James Cameron, Álvarez sought to bridge the gap between Ridley’s prequels. As of this writing, Alien: Romulus has been met with considerable success; its $121.8 million box office made it a financial success and reviews have been largely positive, praising Caliee Spaeny’s performance, and the return to the franchise’s horror roots. Despite criticisms the “resurrection” of Ian Holm in an antagonistic role, audiences were impressed by the film and Álvarez expressed his desire to collaborate with Prey (2022) director Dan Tratchenberg on reviving the Aliens vs. Predator franchise.

The Review:
Honestly, a proper throwback to the roots of the Alien franchise has been a long time coming. I appreciate the idea and sentiment behind producing prequels that laid the foundation for a larger world and added some additional context behind the Xenomorphs, but the execution of Ridley Scott’s preludes was strangely and uncharacteristically flawed. In their efforts to tell a deeper, philosophical story, Prometheus and Alien: Covenant ended up mudding the waters and taking a lot of mystique away from the Aliens, reducing their terror and aura in favour of convoluted, sci-fi clap-trap. Alien: Romulus immediately addresses these issues with is stunning set design, atmosphere, and attention to detail; unlike the previous movies, all the technology feels very grimy, dirty, “lived-in”, and reflects the sci-fi aesthetic of the late-70s and 1980s. One thing that really bugged me about the prequels was how clean and slick and sexy all the technology was; although it made sense that Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce) would have better technology than “space truckers” like the Nostromo crew, it just didn’t have that same gritty feel as the tech seen in Alien and Aliens. Here, everything feels lovingly recreated and faithful to the style of the original film, including those disturbing circular vent doors, the big, chunky buttons and CRT monitors, and the design of all the consoles, corridors, doors, and environments on the Romulus/Remus space station. Add to that the decidedly Blade Runner-esque (Scott, 1982) design of the desolate Jackson’s Star mining colony and you have a film that looks, feels, and fits much more organically into the decidedly bleak, corporate-controlled sci-fi future depicted in the first two movies.

*Rain’s desire to escape her life lead to her joining an ill-fated space heist.*

Jackson’s Star is a hellhole of a backwater world that’s constantly battered by storms and bathed in perpetual darkness. The colonists work themselves to death in dangerous mines, mining some kind of ore or precious metals for “The Company”, the malicious and profit-obsessed Weyland-Yutani, fiddling contracts to force their downtrodden workers to stay on-world until they die. This is the life young Rain has been resigned to; orphaned and left to care for her malfunctioning android “brother”. Rain dreams of accruing enough work hours to get off-world to the virtual paradise of Yvaga, a dream the Company destroy by constantly changing the terms of her contract. Despite her desire to escape her life, she’s hesitant to her ex-boyfriend Tyler’s (Renaux) plan to take the hauler Corbelan up to the drifting Romulus/Remus space station and steal the cryosleep chambers stored within to escape to Yvaga with their friends, Tyler’s pregnant sister Kay (Merced), Bjorn (Fearn), their android-hating cousin, and his girlfriend, Navarro (Wu). Since Andy is the only one who “speaks MU/TH/UR” and can thus get them access to the station, the crew need Rain and Andy to succeed. Considering how poorly Bjorn treats Andy, Andy’s awkward and child-like disposition, and the risk involved, Rain is reluctant to go along with the heist but ultimately agrees when Andy states his wish to help as part of his directive to “do what’s best for [her]” even though he knows he won’t be welcome on the anti-synth Yvaga colony. Though young and adding little to the crew, Rain is essential to the plan since Andy will do anything she says, and she comes to acquit herself well when their presence powers up the station and releases the Facehuggers stored within. She’s practical and adaptable while also being vulnerable, and extremely protective of Andy, standing up to Bjorn whenever he treats Andy badly (which he does constantly).

*Andy’s personality is corrupted by Rook’s influence, leadingto some deaths.*

Although Tyler’s initially dismayed to find the cryopods are low on fuel, he quickly leads Bjorn and Andy to a larger cryochamber to retrieve the fuel they need for their journey. However, powering up the ship reactivates the long-dormant systems and unleashes a slew of Facehuggers, which attack the crew, causing Rain and Navarro to rush to their aid, upgrading Andy to access the station’s systems. This results in Navarro being incapacitated by a Facehugger and a dramatic change in Andy’s personality. Where he was once docile, stuttering, and unsure of himself, compensating for his awkwardness with lame Dad jokes, he’s now confident, self-assured, and logical. Though his knowledge hasn’t increased, the chip alters his personality and his objectives to align with those of the Company and the station’s resident science officer, Rook (likeness of Ian Holm, voiced by Daniel Betts), a heavily damaged synthetic who delivers exposition regarding the station, the Xenomorph, and the Facehuggers. Rook’s influence changes Andy’s prime directive to serve the Company and sees him operate on cold logic, assisting the crew but only by proxy; he almost shuts Rain and Tyler out when they’re being chased by Facehuggers, acts suspicious and cagey about their odds and plans to avoid the creatures, and refuses to open a door for Kay, leading to her being abducted by the Xenomorph (Newlin). Andy thus becomes something of a secondary antagonist, seemingly willing to allow the survivors to escape to Yvaga only after they’ve completed Rook’s mission and gotten the mysterious, alien goo to safety. This gloop, referred to as the “Prometheus fire”, will be as instantly recognisable to long-term fans as Rook as it’s the same substance that caused all the aggro in Ridley Scott’s prequels. It turns out that the Company retrieved the Xenomorph from the first film from the Nostromo’s remains and managed to extract the goop, and a crop of Facehuggers, from its body before it came back to life and slaughtered the crew. Although it was taken out and the Facehuggers were kept in cryostorage, the station was left as damaged as Rook and adrift, set to crash into Jackson’s Star’s planetary rings, which isn’t in the best interest of the Company.

*The Facehuggers are now as great a threat as the Xenomorph.*

As surprising as it was to see the original Xenomorph’s corpse hanging in Romulus/Remus, it was equally surprising to see Alien: Romulus place so much focus on the Facehuggers. There are a lot of these skittery little things and they’re extremely aggressive, flying at people’s faces in a desperate attempt to impregnate them. Andy explains that the creatures, though blind, hunt by sensing body heat and sound, leading to a tense scene where Rain, Andy, and Tyler sneak past a room full of them by raising the ship’s temperature. Persistent and hostile, the Facehuggers are a constant threat not just in their number, but in one attaching itself to Navarro. Although the crew manage to safely remove it and get her back to the Corbelan, the egg it implants quickly (and I mean quickly) gestates into a Chestburster and breaks free, soon forming an extremely unnerving and sexually suggestive cocoon. When Bjorn attacks it, he’s summarily melted by the creature’s acid blood and an all-new Xenomorph emerges. Aesthetically similar to the original creature, this tall, humanoid hunter stalks the survivors throughout the ship, filmed very much like a horror monster and using vents, the shadows, and its bio-organic appearance to blend in wherever possible. One thing Alien: Romulus excels at is making the Xenomorph scary again by mirror its behaviour and depiction in Alien and Alien: Isolation. Largely defenceless save for a cattle prod, the crew are picked off one by one not to be killed (with the except of Tyler) but to be taken to a rudimentary nest deep in the station, where they’re impregnated and add to the growing hive of Aliens lurking down there. The creature’s acid blood means Rain and Tyler’s options to use their pulse rifles are limited, save for manipulating the station’s gravity controls to render them (and their blood) weightless and easy pickings. Still, the Xenomorph is effectively return to its horror roots here, shot in glimpses and framed as an unsettling sexual, aggressive creature that can strike at any time and hunts its prey relentlessly.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It really cannot be overstated how pleasant it is to watch Alien: Romulus and be transported back to the 1970s-era of sci-fi/horror filmmaking. The aesthetic of Alien has been so perfectly recreated that it legitimately feels like it was made around the same time, as a “lost sequel”, with the murky, lived-in nature of the technology contrasting nicely with the clinical, sleek tech seen in the space station’s science lab. Not only that, the film uses elements of the scores from Alien, Aliens, and Prometheus and recreates certain elements from the first two movies as fun callbacks. For example, there’s a scene where Tyler teaches Rain how to handle the pule rifle that’s similar to the one from Aliens, Andy utters Lieutenant Ellen Ripley’s (Sigourney Weaver) iconic “Get away from her, you bitch!” line, the space station’s AI is called MU/TH/UR (“9000”, no less), and the filmmakers saw fit to use Ian Holm’s likeness for Rook, as opposed to bringing back Lance Henriksen or even Michael Fassbender. And Rook has quite a substantial role; he offers exposition, manipulates Andy, and acts as a tertiary antagonist, deceiving the survivors and forcing them to act in the best interests of the Company to get to safety. Normally, I have a bit of a problem with resurrecting dead actors like this, but it was a real thrill to see Holm “back” in his role and expand upon his android’s programming, which is geared specifically towards protecting the alien goo (and the Xenomorph itself) to benefit Weyland-Yutani.

*Practical effects and great attention to detail up the newfound horror elements.*

Alien: Romulus really brings the tension and the horror back to the franchise; by explicitly returning to the series’ roots, the Alien is scary and formidable again and reasserts itself as one of cinema’s most grotesque and memorable monsters. The use of darkness, flashing lights, and smoke all build a great sense of foreboding atmosphere, one only compounded once Andy’s programming is skewed and he’s no longer trustworthy. The horror of Alien: Romulus isn’t just related to gore (though there’s a fair amount, with Bjorn being melt and Tyler taking a mouth to the face) and once again on the uncertainty and persistence of the Xenomorph, and the uncomfortable sexual connotations of its appearance and nature. A snarling, drooling beast, it slinks about offscreen or just out of sight, looming behind characters, skewering them with its tail, and cocooning them to forcibly breed more of its kin. The Alien nest is a disturbing, slimy environment where every shadow appears to be moving or hiding another Alien. Unexpectedly, the additional Aliens aren’t the ridge-headed drones like in Aliens but similar in appearance to the first Xenomorph, though they die just as easily once Rain deactivates the station’s gravity. This leads to an incredible scene where the Alien’s acidic blood is floating around in zero-g, keeping the station from decompressing but serving as a veritable minefield for her and Andy to navigate through. Furthermore, Aliens: Romulus impresses with its extensive use of practical effects; animatronics, suits, and potentially even model shots are all incorporated to provide a reality to the horrific events and make everything seem so much more tangible. The Facehuggers, especially, benefit from this, proving a surprisingly effective threat throughout the film, but the attention to detail in the sets and the Xenomorph design are beyond impressive and certainly crafted as a love letter to Ridley Scott and James Cameron.

*After escaping the Aliens, Rain must contend with a grotesque new variant.*

When the crew first dock at the space station, they have about 45 hours before it crashes into the planetary rings. However, Navarro’s condition and the birth of the Chestburster cause the Corbelan to careen off course, cause some damage to the station, and reduce the ticking clock to just under an hour. With the Alien stalking them and Andy only assisting them to complete Rook’s mission, Rain and Tyler desperately make their way across the station to their ship to escape, only to wind up in an Alien nest, Tyler being summarily executed by a Xenomorph. Although they rescue Kay, she’s left severely injured and, losing blood quickly, decides to take a chance with the alien goo, injecting it into herself to heal her wounds while Rain goes back for the discombobulated Andy, finally removing the Weyland-Yutani chip and restoring his original personality. Safely back on the Corbelan, the survivors watch as the space station, its Alien cargo, and Rook are destroyed and prepare to make their long-awaited trip to Yvaga but, surprise, the alien goo accelerates Kay’s pregnancy and gives birth to perhaps the most disturbing Alien creature ever. This “Offspring” (Robert Bobroczkyi) is a disgustingly horrific mixture of human and Alien DNA, something akin to the Engineers and the Newborn, a spindly, gangly, warped creature that feasts upon its “mother” and stalks Rain throughout the desperate last moments. Thanks to her adaptability, Rain lures the creature into the cargo hold and blasts it into space. Though it proves as persistent as its Alien forefathers, the Offspring (truly a sickening malformation of life) is eventually blasted out to a fiery end, leaving Rain to record one last log before heading to cryosleep with Andy, who was damaged during the creature’s attack.

The Summary:
as a long-time Alien fan, I’ve hoped for a throwback sequel for years, especially after being disappointed by Ridley Scott’s later efforts. There’s so much potential to tell stories between the existing films, with new characters and Alien offshoots, and Alien: Romulus is a fantastic step in the right direction in that regard. By returning to the franchise’s horror roots, recreating the aesthetic and feel of the first two movies, Alien: Romulus easily fits between the first two movies, expanding and paying homage to the accepted lore and bolstering its story with some fun and unexpected cameos and references. The cats, though largely unknown to me, could be said to be a negative of the film but everyone did their job well. Sure, Bjorn is needlessly antagonistic and Kay, Navarro, and Tyler might be a bit underdeveloped, but Rain and Andy more than make up for this. This is their story, a coming-of-age trial for Rain and an exploration of a damaged android’s divided loyalties with Andy, who’s motives appear conflicted throughout. It was a joy to see Ian Holm recreated and get another turn as a tertiary antagonist, and to see the Facehuggers featured as such a formidable and persistent threat. But the true highlight here is the titular Alien, once again returned to a monstrous, terrifying sexually-charged predator, the Xenomorph is aggressive and disturbing even when it’s not onscreen as its threat looms over every action the characters take. The Offspring was truly sickening to behold, offering a new variant in the Alien gene and bringing to life Rook’s dream of infusing the Alien DNA with humans. Ultimately, this was a fantastic viewing experience; it’s just such a thrill to watch and be transported back to the peak of this sci-fi/horror world and see the franchise done right, with the right level of fan service and innovation working hand-in-hand with traditional filmmaking and a true love for the source material to revitalise the long-dormant franchise.

My Rating:

Fantastic

Did you enjoy Alien: Romulus? Were you also impressed by the aesthetic similarities to the first two movies? What did you think to the cast and the relationship between Rain and Andy? Were you surprised to see Ian Holm recreated and “back” as Rook? What did you think to the references to the greater series lore? Were you happy to see the Xenomorph made scary again, and equally disturbed by the Offspring? Where would you like to see the Alien series go next? Whatever your thoughts, please share them in the comments and be sure to check out my other Alien reviews.

Movie Night [Spidey Month]: Spider-Man 3

20/08/202404/08/2025Dr. K10 Comments

Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable and popular superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was first bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the true meaning of power and responsibility in Amazing Fantasy #15, which was first published in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in numerous cartoons, live-action movies, videogames, action figures, and countless comic book titles and, in celebration of his debut and his very own day of celebration, I’ve been dedicating every Tuesday of August to talk about everyone’s favourite web-head!

Released: 4 May 2007
Director: Sam Raimi
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $258 to 350 million
Stars: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Thomas Haden Church, Topher Grace, and Bryce Dallas Howard

The Plot:
Having finally gotten the girl of his dreams, Peter Parker (Maguire) finds his life on the upswing, but an attack by vengeful Harry Osborn (Franco), and the discovery that recently-superpowered thief Flint Marko (Church) killed his beloved uncle see Peter giving in to the power and allure of a mysterious black suit from space.

The Background:
Following his debut issue becoming one of Marvel’s best selling titles at the time, Spider-Man’s popularity saw him become their flagship character. Soon, the wall-crawler fronted numerous team-up comics, videogames, cartoons, and even a live-action series. Although his cinematic debut was constantly delayed by script and legal issues, Sam Raimi and Sony Pictures Entertainment landed a critical and commercial success with Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002) and followed this two years later with Spider-Man 2 (ibid, 2004), which is widely regarded as one of the greatest superhero movies ever made. There was never any question that a third film would follow and Raimi initially planned to explore Peter’s morality, the humanity of his villains, and themes of forgiveness; However, his wish to cast Ben Kingsley as Adrian Toomes/The Vulture was blocked by producer Avi Arad, who insisted that the more popular Eddie Brock/Venom be included instead. Although Raimi was initially hesitant, he acquiesced after relating to the character as a dark mirror of Peter, but soon found his script so bloated that he initially toyed with filming two films back-to-back. Spider-Man 3 upped the ante for its special effects; painstaking hours went into crafting the scene in which the Sandman reconstitutes himself, an amputee stuntman was brought in to bolster Spidey’s fight with the Sandman, and Spidey’s iconic black suit was redesigned to emphasis it corrupting his morals. Although it was the most financially successful of Raimi’s Spider-Man films, Spider-Man 3 divided critics; while reviews praised the action and drama and the mixture of humour and visual spectacle, many felt the film was overstuffed with villains and failed to live up to the expectations set by its predecessors. Though accompanied by a comic book tie-in and videogame adaptation, Spider-Man 3 would mark the end of Raimi’s time with the web-slinger. Although plans for a fourth film got as far as casting and storyboarding, they were ultimately scrapped in favour of a complete reboot, though Tobey Maguire and Thomas Hayden Church would later reprise their roles nearly twenty years later for the multiversal epic Spider-Man: No Way Home (Watts, 2021).

The Review:
These days, with superhero films dominating the box office, many of them involving one or more heroes teaming up and a variety of villains, it’s easy to forget both the impact that Sami Raimi’s first two Spider-Man films had and state of the genre back in 2007. Superhero films were cropping up more and more and they didn’t always stick the landing; often, they struggled with too many villains, a lack of fidelity to the source material, or just being a bit of a tonal and narrative mess as studios tried to cash-in on the success of Raimi’s films and 20^th Century Fox’s X-Men movies (Various, 2000 to 2020). Still, anticipation was high for Spider-Man 3; Spider-Man 2 was well-regarded as one of the best superhero movies ever made and it ended with a lot of plot threads to carry over into the third film, primarily the inevitable clash between Peter and Harry and the question of whether Mary-Jane Watson/M. J. (Dunst) was truly ready to accept the responsibility of being Spider-Man’s girlfriend. Unfortunately, little else from Spider-Man 2 directly carries over to Spider-Man 3 and this is made evident right from the opening titles, which barely feature Doctor Otto Octavius/Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) or any plot points from the second film beyond those that involve Peter, Harry, and M. J. Regardless, things get off to a decent start; the tension between Peter and Harry is emphasised in the reveal that Harry not only stalks Peter at every opportunity but refuses to listen to his explanations regarding the death of his father, Doctor Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe). Although Peter doesn’t really make that much of effort to absolve himself of Norman’s murder, Harry’s mind is clouded by rage and stubbornness, which directly lead to him subjecting himself to a version of his father’s Goblin formula to give him the power to go toe-to-toe with his former friend.

*Peter’s attempts to propose are interrupted by his inflated ego and the influence of his black suit.*

For Peter, life is pretty good; he’s finally found a balance between his dual identities, or at least feels less conflicted now that he has M. J.’s full support. It’s not made clear how much time has passed between the two films (honestly, given how well the actors have aged and the way Peter and Harry treat each other, it feels like it could only be a few weeks) but Peter’s so at peace with himself and the world that he plans to propose to M. J., despite him still living in a crummy apartment and being stiffed on his wages by the cantankerous J. Jonah Jameson (J. K. Simmons). After receiving his Aunt May’s (Rosemary Harris) blessing, Peter heads out to seal the deal, only to be suddenly attacked by Harry, how sporting sleek, Goblin-inspired armour and weapons of his own. Peter battles this…*sigh*…“New Goblin” through the city skies but is both horrified and relieved when Harry takes a nasty bump to the head and recovers with no memory of Spider-Man’s true identity. This brings even more joy to Peter’s life as he rekindles his brotherly relationship with Harry and basks in the adulation of the city as Spider-Man. In fact, Peter’s so blinded by his own success and happiness that he fails to notice that he’s being a bit self-absorbed and that M. J. is having her own issues, faults that cause him to make the bone-headed mistake of kissing Gwen Stacy (Howard) in front of an adoring crowd and completely disregarding M. J.’s struggles to make it as a successful Broadway actress.

*Peter’s relationships suffer because of his actions, leading to a brutal brawl with his former best friend.*

Despite the fact that she made it into the cast, to the point where she received top billing, M. J.’s producers aren’t happy with the reviews about her performance and summarily drop her from the play, rattling her confidence and digging up bad memories of her childhood under her abusive father. Although she tries to confide in Peter and understand that his superhero commitments make him very busy, a rift forms between them when Peter fails to recognise how upset she is and keeps focusing on his own success. This scuppers Peter’s carefully-planned proposal dinner and drives M. J. to seek comfort from Harry, who’s only too happy to make time for her now that he’s rediscovered his carefree personality. They grow so close that they even share a brief kiss, though M. J. quickly comes to her senses and leaves before anything else can happen. This humiliation is enough for Harry’s mind to snap once more; visions of his dead father restore his memories and he resumes his vendetta against Spider-Man. He targets M. J. and blackmails her into breaking up with Peter, breaking his heart, and then twists the knife in further by insinuating that he and M. J. are having a love affair. Although Harry plays this conniving, manipulative role well, he can’t resist revelling in Peter’s anguish, meaning Peter immediately figures out that Harry has been using M. J. against him but, by that point, Peter is not only consumed by rage and ego but also fuelled by the negative impulses of his black suit. When Peter confronts Harry in the Osborn home, a brutal fight to the death breaks out between them; previously, Peter simply tried to avoid and quell Harry’s rage but, this time, he unleashes the full extent of his power and easily manhandles his former friend. Stubborn to the last, Harry attempts to blow Peter up with a pumpkin bomb, only to have the explosive tossed back in his face, permanently scarring him and leaving him an embittered recluse.

*The Sandman might do bad things with good intentions but his mistakes raise Spidey’s ire.*

Peter’s good mood is shattered when he and Aunt May are randomly called into the office of police captain George Stacy (James Cromwell) and told that they’ve been sitting on evidence for the last few years that proves thief Dennis Carradine (Michael Papajohn) didn’t killed Peter’s beloved Uncle Ben (Cliff Robertson). Instead, Carradine is retroactively revealed to have been working with a partner, Flint Marko, who recently (somehow…) escaped from jail. Peter had already had a run-in with Marko not long before this, but by that point the crook had already conveniently fallen into a random particle accelerator and been molecularly altered into a living man of sand. Now able to shift and alter his appearance at will, becoming almost intangible and rock-hard, the Sandman easily robs armoured cars to steal the cash he needs to help his critically ill daughter, Penny (Perla Haney-Jardine), as well as fend off Spider-Man when he inevitably arrives to stop him. Now armed with the knowledge that the Sandman killed his uncle, Peter seethes and obsesses over tracking down the thug and make him pay out of a combination of guilt over the death of both Uncle Ben and Dennis Carradine and the aggression encouraged by his mysterious black suit. Although generally a sympathetic and reluctant villain in the comics, the Sandman is reconfigured into a tragic figure here; he’s painted as a good man driven to crime and hampered by poor choices, and carrying a sense of guilt and responsibility over the evils he’s done and his love for his sick daughter. However, Peter has little time for the Sandman’s sob story and willingly succumbs to the black suit’s influence when they fight in the New York subway. Spider-Man angrily confronts the Sandman over his murderous actions and attacks without quarter, eventually dissolving him into a gloopy, muddy mess with a dismissive “Good riddance!” As if this battle didn’t hammer it home enough, Peter’s discussion with Aunt May reveals that he fully intended to kill the Sandman to make him pay for what he’d done. However, despite being heartbroken by Ben’s loss, May makes it clear that revenge is never the answer and lays the groundwork for Peter finding the courage to forgive the Sandman for his misguided actions.

*Peter’s personality is corrupted by the symbiote, which finds a willing host in demented Eddie Brock.*

That takes a bit of time, though, as Peter is under the poisonous influence of a mysterious alien goo that randomly (and conveniently) crashed to Earth right by his scooter. Latching on to him in the midst of a terrible nightmare, the viscous substance (later identified by Doctor Curt Connors (Dylan Baker) as a “symbiote”) turns Peter’s colourful costume a deep black and enhances his abilities considerably, granting him a strength and sense of exhilaration beyond his usual web-slinging. However, it also feeds and enhances his negative emotions; anger, fear, and aggression are all heightened by the creature, but Peter is so captivated by the allure of the black suit that he can’t deny himself its power when he gets a lead on the Sandman. Like an addict who doesn’t know when to quit, Peter wears the black suit under his clothes, caressing and stroking it, and even alters his appearance to match the sense of confidence and power the suit inspires in him. After his confrontations with Harry and the Sandman, Peter fully gives in to this rush, parading himself down the street like a dork and believing he’s God’s gift to the world. He all-but-demands a permanent position at the Daily Bugle, takes Gwen to a jazz bar and performs an elaborate dance number to make M. J. jealous, and angrily confronts rival photographer Edward “Eddie” Brock Jr. (Grace) over his doctored pictures of Spider-Man. However, after lashing out at M. J. in a rage, Peter finally sees that the suit is turning him into a literal and metaphorical monster. Fleeing to a church, he tries to remove the suit and is shocked to find that it truly is a living organism. Although the symbiote desperately tries to defend itself, it’s driven off Peter’s body by the ringing of the church bell, leaving him guilt-ridden and despondent over his recent actions, but the creature finds itself a new host when it latches onto Eddie. A snivelling little creep of a man, Eddie is driven to begging the All-Mighty to avenge his recent slights after failing to win Gwen’s heart or cheat his way into a full-time job. This bitterness and borderline psychopathy is all the symbiote needs to birth the film’s third villain, a “strange black-suited figure” (because he’s never referred to as “Venom” onscreen), and immediately set about making Peter pay for his actions.

The Nitty-Gritty:
There’s a lot happening in Spider-Man 3; so much so that it’s difficult to watch and not think about how easy it would’ve been to streamline things. I get that Sam Raimi was basically forced to include Venom in the film and I can see how that might’ve clashed with his ideas for the final entry, but just doing another couple of script rewrites really would’ve helped tighten things up because, as is, there’s just too much crammed in here. This is one of the few times where I would’ve been happy to see the film split into two parts to actually do Venom justice, but a far easier solution would’ve been to omit Eddie Brock entirely and just have the symbiote attach itself to Harry. Yes, it goes against the comic lore, but I think it would’ve tied in perfectly with the film’s themes of obsession, revenge, and forgiveness. Plus, it’s not like the Venom mantle hasn’t been assumed by others before. I also think the Sandman should’ve either stayed dead after his fight with Symbiote Spider-Man or been revealed to be alive in a post-credits scene (either using him emerging from the sewer as seen in the film or by repurposing a cut scene with his daughter), which not only would’ve made the final fight between Spider-Man and Venom/Harry less of a cluttered mess but also would’ve shown that the symbiote’s influence had real consequences for Peter as he would’ve had to live with the guilt of killing another man (or, at least, assuming he had).

*Some odd decisions, cringe-worthy scenes, and pointless retcons* *bog down an already bloated film.*

However, there is a decent film in here somewhere, it’s just buried beneath odd decisions, bizarre sequences, and a whole mess of characters. Did we really need Gwen Stacy in this when she barely has any relevance to the plot, for example? She’s nothing like her comic book counterpart and is literally there to emphasise what a creep Eddie is. She doesn’t even have a rivalry with M. J. or factor into the climax, so it feels like she was shoe-horned in as fan service more than anything. Peter’s cornball demeanour once he gives into the black suit is also extremely cringey; many have come to defend this decision, claiming that Peter is living out his idea of what it means to be “cool” and I totally get that he would have this dorky perception of what’s “hip” and such. But it’s surreal to see him strutting down the street and then doing this cartoonish dance number in the jazz club that’s immediately juxtaposed with him smacking M. J. and being so wracked by guilt that he goes and broods in the rain on a church! Spider-Man 3 also commits the cardinal sin of retconning the character’s origin to awkwardly wedge Flint Marko in as the man who killed Uncle Ben. Just…why? People moaned to high heaven when this happened in Batman (Burton, 1989) and it just confuses things here. Spider-Man 3 has the perfect means to tell its story of forgiveness in the Peter and Harry story. It didn’t need to complicate matters by forcing a link between him and the Sandman, especially as Marko already had a perfectly understandable and relatable tragic motivation that’s barely touched upon no matter how many times he stares at that damn locket. And then there’s the weird side plot of Harry’s amnesia. Again, I get it, they wanted to show how deep the bond between Harry and Peter is and explore their relationship as brothers, but it just leads to more goofball scenes and unnecessary drama between Peter and M. J. I feel like a similar outcome could’ve been achieved by just having Harry play mind games with Peter throughout the movie, especially if he adopted some of Eddie’s comic book antics and used his knowledge of Peter’s identity against him. And don’t even get me started on this “New Goblin” crap. Just make him the damn Hobgoblin! They even made a damn mask!

*Unfortunately, all the impressive visuals and action sequences can’t counterbalance the muddled plot.*

Luckily, amidst all of this negativity, Spider-Man 3 has some of the best action sequences and special effects of the entire trilogy. The mid-air fight between Peter and Harry may suffer from a little too much obvious green screen, but it’s far more versatile and fluid compared to the battles between Spidey and the Green Goblin, which were a bit clunky and grounded at times. While I have little love for the Sandman and could take or leave his inclusion, he does allow for some more visually interesting fight scenes. Seeing Spidey punch right through Marko, blast him into particles, and be smashed by his rock-hard appendages makes for some fun sequences. Unfortunately, all this goodwill is undone in the climax where any personality and nuance the Sandman has is completely washed away as he adopts a gigantic, mindless, rampaging sand monster form that, while intimidating and a suitable escalation of his threat, pales in comparison to the surprising emotional depth he shows beforehand, particularly in the admittedly beautiful and heart-breaking scene where Marko first pulls himself together after his accident. As ever, the Spidey suit looks great but it looks even better in black. While I prefer the classic white logo for the symbiote suit, saving it for Venom was a great idea to help him stand out more (even if it doesn’t make much sense for him to randomly have a big-ass symbol) and I loved the twisted, torn webbing and claws used on Venom. Indeed, the fact that Venom barely appears in the film and only for the finale is a massive disservice to both the character and his look in the film. Venom may lack the bulk and plural identifiers, but he looks fantastic when he’s got his claws out and is adopting his ironic, drooling, fang-filled visage. As much as I rag on the film, I do enjoy the visuals of the climax; seeing the construction site covered in Venom’s twisted webbing, the monstrous Sandman looming, and Venom screeching and attacking from the shadows makes for a very different and intense finale. It’s just a shame it’s intercut with cringe-inducing performances from tertiary characters.

*Through the sacrifice of his friend and letting go of his hate, Peter earns a bittersweet ending.*

After shedding the symbiote, Peter is left trying to pick up the pieces of his fractured life; M. J. has rejected him and is ready to leave town, he’s tried to kill his best friend, and his reputation has been sullied somewhat by his poor decisions. Thankfully, Eddie easily tracks down the Sandman and convinces him to forge a partnership, one primarily based on Eddie avenging himself on Peter by humiliating him and taking away his true love. Unlike Peter, who realised the damaging influence of the symbiote, Eddie is only too happy to give into it’s power (“I like being bad. It makes me happy!”) and refuses to listen to reason since he’s so consumed by hatred and a twisted sense of injustice. Ultimately, he’s unable to resist the power and temptation offered by the symbiote and perishes (quite violently) in a grenade blast, a disappointingly weak ending for a disappointingly weak version of Venom. However, Eddie does leave a lasting impression on Peter by delivering a fatal blow to Harry, who heroically sacrifices his life to save his best friend. Unfortunately, as cool as it is to see Peter and Harry team up for the finale (and it really is an awesome feel-good moment with some great team-up attacks from the two), it comes after Harry’s entire philosophy and vendetta is reversed thanks to a pep talk by his family butler, Bernard Houseman (John Paxton), who decided to wait until the last minute to be honest. Although the result is seeing Harry and Peter set aside their differences and finally make peace as Harry dies in his friends’ arms, this random revelation really detracts from it and takes all the agency out of Harry’s character. The Sandman is equally rattled by all the death; he regrets his actions and tries to justify them, and it’s clear that a massive weight lifts from his shoulders when Peter forgives him (why he let him get away is beyond me, though). Unlike the last two Spider-Man films, Spider-Man 3 ends on an emotional note with Peter having learned valuable lessons about forgiveness and him and M. J. sharing an emotional embrace, apparently ready to start over, rather than ending on a high with the traditional final swing.

The Summary:
Spider-Man 3 just can’t help but be a disappointment. There’s just way too much happening in it, too many missteps and odd decisions, and too much of that goodwill tossed aside to rate it much higher. It’s such a shame, too, as it could’ve been an emotional and intense finale to Sam Raimi’s trilogy if only another attempt had been taken at the script to tidy things up. I just can’t help but think it would’ve been so much better to drop Eddie Brock and have Harry become Venom as a nice compromise between the filmmakers because the desperation to do everything and please everyone just results in a disappointing effort. It’s doubly disappointing for me as I’m a huge Venom fan and Venom did look really fantastic for the few minutes he was onscreen, but they really deserved their own dedicated movie or to be incorporated better to justify including them. Although I didn’t really like the forced drama between Peter and the Sandman, I did enjoy how human and relatable Flint Marko was. Ultimately, though, he feels like a bit of an afterthought and the only reason you remember him is because they made an unnecessary retcon to the first film. The drama between Harry and Peter was honestly strong enough to carry the entire film but it’s lost between all the other moving parts and has its legs completely cut out from under it by the amnesia side plot and that damn butler! Sadly, all the effects and impressive visuals in the world can’t salvage this film, which will forever go down as one of the genre’s biggest missed opportunities no matter how hard people try and defend it.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Spider-Man 3? Where does it rank for you against the many other Spider-Man movies? What did you think to Peter’s struggles with the temptation of the black suit? Were you also disappointed by the execution and screen time of Venom? What did you think to Harry’s character arc and were you sad to see him die a hero in the end? What changes would you have made to the film to try and salvage it? Whatever your opinion on Spider-Man 3, leave a comment and be sure to check out my other Spider-Man content.

Movie Night [K-DAY]: Tremors

10/08/202416/05/2024Dr. K4 Comments

In the absolutely bonkers science-fiction film Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), the monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity on 10^th August 2013. The attack ended a few days later on August 15^th but, in that time, San Francisco, Sacramento, and Oakland were completely devastated and the Kaiju War officially began. Accordingly, August 10^th became known as “K-DAY” and is, for me, a fantastic excuse to talk about some giant monster movies!

Released: 19 January 1990
Director: Ron Underwood
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $10 million
Stars: Fred Ward, Kevin Bacon, Finn Carter, Bobby Jacoby, Tony Genaro, and Michael Gross

The Plot:
Tired of their dull lives, handymen Earl Bassett (Ward) and Valentine “Val” McKee (Bacon) plan to leave the small desert town of Perfection, Nevada. However, they happen upon a series of mysterious deaths and a concerned seismologist, Rhonda LeBeck (Carter), studying unnatural readings below the ground that are soon revealed to be giant, prehistoric, worm-like monsters!

The Background:
While making safety videos for the United States Navy in the mid-1980s, screenwriters Brent Maddock and S. S. Wilson came up with the random idea of “land sharks” keeping them trapped on a large boulder. Another of their friends, Ron Underwood, used his knowledge as a documentary director for National Geographic to help them develop a believable creature for what would become the script for Tremors but it wasn’t until their script for Short Circuit (Badham, 1986) proved to be a commercial success that the film became a viable concept. Although star Kevin Bacon initially belittled the project and only signed on because he was broke, he later spoke highly of his time on set, his experience with co-star Fred Ward, and his desire to revisit the franchise. The Graboids were designed by Amalgamated Dynamics, including a full-scale creature made from lightweight foam and buried in desert to give it a used look. Though originally shot as an R-rated film, the filmmakers decided to make some cuts and changes to appeal to a wider audience. Unfortunately, this didn’t actually translate to the film’s box office; Tremors barely cleared $16 million in profit, which Maddock blamed on the mediocre marketing. Critically, Tremors fared slightly better; the balance between horror and comedy was praised, as was the B-movie feel of the film, and the entertainment value of the special effects and performances. Ultimately, Tremors birthed a surprisingly long-running franchise, that was comprised of multiple direct-to-video sequels, with Michael Gross becoming the series lead, a short-lived television series, and even an aborted attempt to return Kevin Bacon to the franchise in 2017.

The Review:
Tremors immediately establishes a few very important things right from its opening scene: first, we’re following a couple of blue-collar working men who have a brotherly banter that lends the film a comedic edge, and second that we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere in a dead-end town. Perfection is a small town surrounded by mountains that’s almost entirely self-sufficient; old Walter Chang (Víctor Wong) runs the only shop in town, Doctor Jim Wallace (Conrad Bachmann) acts as the town’s medical aide, and upstart Melvin Plug (Jacoby) spends his days lazing around and winding people up. There’s only a handful of people in town and not all of their characteristics and relationships are as easily defined as mother/daughter duo Nancy and Mindy Sterngood (Charlotte Stewart and Ariana Richards). For example, it’s unclear what Nestor Cunningham (Richard Marcus) or Miguel (Genaro) do or where Melvin’s family is, but everyone there looks after each other and works to provide some kind of service, even if they’re not always immediately clear.

*Begrudging handymen Val and Earl find their big escape interrupted by* *subterranean monsters.*

Of course, this issue doesn’t apply to Val and Earl, two disgruntled local handymen who fill up their days taking out people’s trash, putting up razor wire and fences, and doing house clearances. Although Earl is the elder of the two, more seasoned and wiser to the ways of the world (and women), he’s just as bad as his young partner; the two share a fun, relatable banter, regularly playing rock/paper/scissors to decide who gets the shit jobs and accepting beer and lunches alongside payment for their jobs. The main differences between the two are that Earl is the more grounded and pragmatic and despairs of Val’s head-in-the-clouds mentality, especially when it comes to forethought and his opinions on women. Val has a very specific set of criteria for his women, preferring picturesque bimbos with low intelligence and little personality, whereas Earl believes he needs to be more realistic in his expectations. The two make a major contribution to the town, essentially maintaining the entire upkeep, and are renowned for being “best on a horse”, but Val and Earl are deeply unsatisfied with their lot in Perfection. They’re in underpaid, mediocre jobs and believe that they can strike it big by packing up and starting over in the nearest town, Bixby. There’s a sense that they’ve been threatening to leave for some time but they’re ecstatic to finally be taking the plunge and heading to a new life, only to stumble upon the dehydrated corpse of Edgar Deems (Sunshine Parker) atop an electrical tower and find themselves forced to stay in town as more bodies are found and a serial killer is suspected. The two leap into their truck to get help from Bixby since Perfection has no way of contacting anyone outside the valley, only to find their truck briefly hung-up on an incline and dragging a strange, snake-like creature back to town!

*Seismologist Rhonda helps the locals to fight off the previously unheard of prehistoric creatures.*

While out in the desert, Val and Earl come across graduate student Rhonda, who’s spending a semester investigating seismographs in Perfection and the surrounding area. Initially, Val is unimpressed by Rhonda, who doesn’t meet any of the criteria on his checklist, but Earl is eager for the two to spend more time together as she’s just the sort of down-to-earth young woman Val needs in his life. Rhonda’s research proves instrumental in discovering the extent of the threat lurking beneath the soil of Perfection, but even she is horrified to stumble across the duo with the corpse of a massive, carnivorous worm-like creature (later dubbed a “Graboid” by Chang and Melvin). Although she has no idea where the creatures came from or how they’ve remained undetected until now, a cursory investigation of the corpse allows her to deduce that Graboids are blind, hunt by sound, burrow using dozens of spiked appendages, and snag their prey with their mouth tentacles. Rhonda’s seismology readings reveal that three more of the creatures are lurking in the valley and she’s both captivated and terrified when she, Val, and Earl are stranded on rocks for most of the day and an entire night after narrowing escaping a Graboid. It’s during this impromptu marooning that Val and Rhonda first start to get closer; he gives her his jacket to keep her warm, helps her pole vault to her truck so they can escape back to town, and even tends to her wounds after she’s caught up in barbed wire. Although she’s hardly an expert, she’s the closest thing the townsfolk have but they struggle to process her instructions to stay quiet and stay high up. They’re more concerned with the who, how, and why of the creatures and only take their threat seriously when Graboids start bursting up through the ground and devouring their residents.

*Survivalists Burt and Heather provide the firepower needed to repel the cunning Graboids.*

While their main way of surviving is to take refuge on high ground, Perfection isn’t entirely defenceless; Burt and Heather Gummer (Gross and Reba McEntire) have built a veritable impenetrable war room just outside of town, one full of firearms as small as a pistol and as large as an elephant gun, alongside their all-terrain vehicle and homemade explosives. Survivalists who believe in being prepared, they settled in Perfection due to its perfect “geographic isolation” and are armed to the teeth for any impending disaster…except for “underground, god-damn monsters” and even then, they are the town’s best shot at fending off the Graboids and helping the survivors escape town. At first, Burt and Heather are unaware of the true extent of the threat as they’re out of town for the big reveal and are too busy crafting ammo to make heads or tails of Val’s frantic warnings, unwittingly luring a Graboid to their house. Luckily, despite the creature’s size and near-impenetrable girth, it ”broke into the wrong god-damn rec room” and is eventually blasted to death by Burt and Heather’s considerable weaponry. Although they’re unable to rescue the others when the Graboids disable their vehicle, they dig in and prepare weapons and ammo to fend off the creatures when Val successfully commandeers a heavy track loader to carry the survivors to safety. While he brings all their gear with them, Burt is clearly irritated at being driven from his home and deferring to Val and Earl’s expertise regarding the Graboids. Believing they stood a better chance making a stand in town where they had all the resources they needed to survive, Burt almost comes to blows with Val when the survivors are stranded on rocks and left to face starvation and dehydration just like Edgar. Luckily, Heather and Earl are on hand to be the voice of reason in their conflict, but Burt is clearly rubbed up the wrong way; though, ultimately, it’s his armaments that allow the displaced inhabitants to finish off the Graboids.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Tremors is a fantastic mixture of comedy, drama, action, and horror; it never takes itself too seriously and is clearly happy to be nothing more than an enjoyable monster movie with a budget. Every time Val and Earl are bitching about their lot in life, competing to see who’s making breakfast or arguing about their priorities for each day, it’s juxtaposed with some horrific visuals like the remains of Old Fred (Michael Dan Wagner) being found under his hat in a field of bloody patches that used to be sheep and the duo uncovering the buried remains of the doctor’s car. Tremors does a great job of building tension throughout the film, first by employing a sweeping first-person perspective that would make Sam Raimi proud and showing the slightest bulge of dirt in place of revealing the creatures too early, and then in using noise and silence to great effect. Since the slightest sound is enough to attract the Graboids, it’s wince-inducing to see the characters creep around and whisper to each other, scramble to unplug appliances, and when Mindy innocently goes pogo-sticking through town. Even when the survivors reach high ground they’re not entirely out of danger; the Graboids are big, strong, and surprisingly intelligent and co-ordinated, testing the fragile buildings for weaknesses and easily sucking down most vehicles and toppling flimsier structures.

*The Graboids are brilliantly brought to life using tension, mystery, and impressive practical effects.*

Of course, as great as the character interactions and banter are in Tremors, the big selling point of the film are the creatures themselves. Initially believed to be snake-like creatures, Val and Earl are stunned to find that these appendages are simply tongue-like tentacles belonging to the beak-like mouth of a far larger, more monstrous creature that’s so far beyond their comprehension that the townsfolk believe that they’re aliens or some kind of government experiment gone wrong (a “big surprise for the Russians”). Ultimately, their true origin is of no consequence and the characters quickly focus on how to survive, fight, and escape the creatures. Massive and impossibly fast due to their spiked appendages, the Graboids easily detect and chase down their prey, sucking them through the dirt and digesting them in the blink of an eye or lashing at them with their tongues like voracious anacondas. Creative camera trickery enables the film to build a great deal of effective tension for the Graboid’s first big reveal, which perfectly sets up the ending of the movie and a fatal flaw in the Graboid’s nature: they mindlessly charge after their prey and flee from intense sounds, such as explosions, since they’re painful to them. Stinking, ravenous creatures, the Graboids are impressive practical effects brought to life by puppets, animatronics, and composite effects to make them appear large and almost alien in design. When underground, they’re all-but immune to damage and the same is true when they emerge; it takes everything Val and Earl have to wrench their truck free from one of the creature’s tongues and an incalculable number of bullets for Burt and Heather to put just one down. Although formidable and with a seemingly unsurpassed patience (they’ll wait for days for their prey to simply die if need be), the Graboids are not invulnerable; they can be killed with a great deal of effort, tracked using Rhonda’s equipment, struggle to lift heavier objects or break through solid rock, and can be briefly scared away by dynamite charges.

*Stranded and faced a slow death, the survivors dispatch the final Graboid and find a new lease of life.*

However, the Graboids are unnervingly intelligent; when the survivors take refuge on their rooftops, the creatures circle the structures and attempt to shake them loose, leading Val and Earl to enact a desperate plan to use the track loader to carry their friends to the safety of the surrounding mountains. At first, this seems to work and the townsfolk make slow and steady progress away from town, only for them to end up falling afoul of a Graboid trap when they dig a trench to up-end the vehicle and strand the survivors on a small crop of rocks. With tensions running high and resources running low, Burt makes an off-beat remark about preferring suicide over starvation and inspires Val to try one last trick to take out the prehistoric wildlife. By tossing rocks and stones far from their position, they attract a Graboid and trick it into swallowing on of Burt’s lit explosives, blowing it into a stinky mess of orange chunks. However, the last remaining Graboid, “Ol’ Stumpy”, proves far smarter than its kin and simply spits the dynamite back out, leaving Val, Earl, and Rhonda stuck on the desert floor and facing instant death the moment they move. Reckless to the end, Val takes a chance and makes a run for it, using himself as bait to cause the Graboid to go hurtling to its death after being inspired by Earl’s earlier tall tales of being in a stampede. In the aftermath, Val and Earl hope to gain a level of fame from their experience and Rhonda prepares to build an academic career out of the creatures and start a new life with Val, who finally gives into the mutual attraction they built over the course of the film, much to Earl’s approval.

The Summary:
Many times, you’ll hear people talk about movies being “guilty pleasures”. However, Tremors isn’t one of them; I never feel guilty about watching and enjoying this hugely entertaining horror/comedy. The film is stuffed with wit and charm, from the brotherly banter between Val and Earl to Burt and Heather’s trigger-happy abrasiveness, to even one-dimensional supporting characters finding ways to stand out with either an abundance of personality or some cheesy, quotable lines. The premise is delightfully low-budget but is delivered in a way that recalls blockbusters like Jaws (Spielberg, 1975) in the use of tension, first-person shots, and the eventual reveal of an impressive animatronic monster that devours the cast one by one. The Graboids themselves are one of the most unique creatures to grace cinema; massive, yet scarily quick, blind and yet surprisingly versatile, and with a cunning and ravenous nature that makes them both ridiculous and terrifying at the same time. The visual of characters scrambling to reach higher ground or desperately trying to stay quiet really works, as does the rumbling of the ground and structures and the mystery surrounding the creatures. I liked how the characters were always struggling to fight back; even when they have the weapons, the Graboids don’t go down easy and they’re constantly forced to think on their feet to come up with ingenious, and hilarious, ways to dispatch and outsmart the voracious sand-worms. While I have a soft spot for some of the sequels, Tremors remains the best of the franchise thanks to the dynamic between Val and Earl and the simplicity of the creatures; the idea of being trapped for days and slowly dying of dehydration or hunger only exacerbates the Graboid threat, meaning you’re damned if you stay still too long and doomed if you try to move. I definitely feel like Tremors is often unfairly forgotten about; it’s absolutely a hidden gem in the monster movie genre and deserves a lot more attention than it gets. It’s a rollicking good time with a fantastic blend of gore, action, comedy, and horror that never fails to impress me no matter how many times I watch it.

My Rating:

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of Tremors? Did you enjoy the dynamic between Val and Earl? What did you think to the idea of sand worms terrorising a small, isolated town? Which of the supporting cast was your favourite and did you expect Burt to take on such a key role across the franchise? Do you enjoy the Tremors films and, if so, which of the sequels is your favourite What’s your favourite kaiju movie, and how are you celebrating K-Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Tremors, kaiju, or monster movies in general, please do leave a comment below or respond to my social media and be sure to check back in for more giant monster content in the near future!

Movie Night: Deadpool & Wolverine

02/08/202413/11/2025Dr. K4 Comments

Released: 26 July 2024
Director: Shawn Levy
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Budget: $200 million
Stars: Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, Emma Corrin, Matthew Macfadyen, and Aaron Stanford

The Plot:
Struggling with doubt, Wade Wilson/Deadpool (Reynolds) jumps at the chance to join the “Sacred Timeline” of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). However, when he learns the cost is his universe, he scours the multiverse to recruit a disillusioned version of James “Logan” Howlett/Wolverine (Jackman) to help save his loved ones.

The Background:
Created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld in 1991, Deadpool as originally an X-Force antagonist before his self-aware humour and creative violence catapulted him to mainstream popularity. This eventually led to his live-action debut in the much-maligned X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Hood, 2009), with Ryan Reynolds finally assuming the role, with a spin-off teased. However, after X-Men Origins and the Reynolds-led Green Lantern (Campbell, 2011) flopped, 20^th Century Fox got cold feet about producing an expensive, R-rated superhero movie. However, after director Tim Miller’s early test footage mysteriously leaked online, the positive reaction saw Fox backpedal, resulting in a critical and commercial success for the “Merc with a Mouth”. Deadpool’s (Miller, 2016) success naturally led to a sequel; Deadpool 2 (Leitch, 2018) upped the ante with an increased budget and bringing in Josh Brolin as fan favourite, time travelling cyborg Nathanial “Nate” Summers/Cable, and was met with similar success, and Disney higher ups were adamant about including Deadpool in the MCU after their acquisition of 20^th Century Fox. During development, Reynolds was contacted by Hugh Jackman – who had famously retired from his iconic Wolverine role in Logan (Mangold, 2017) – and, despite concerns about undoing that film’s poignant ending, actively lobbied to portray an alternative version of the character for a long-awaited team-up. Finally garbed in a comic book-accurate suit courtesy of costume designers Graham Churchyard and Mayes C. Rubeo, Jackman joined Reynolds for what was to be a love letter to the X-Men films (Various, 2000 to 2020) and their legacy, as well as a slew of fan service cameos. After enduring the SAG-AFTRA strike, Deadpool and Wolverine released to largely positive reviews; critics praised Jackman’s return and the film’s buddy comedy/road trip vibes, and that it remained true to the raunchy humour of the previous films. Though some criticised its shallow plot, Reynolds’ performance was lauded and the film quickly became Disney’s highest-grossing R-rated release, bringing in over $1.300 billion and seemingly cementing the character’s place in the future of the MCU.

The Review:
It was genuinely shocking, and heartbreaking, when Logan finally met his end in Logan. After living and fighting and struggling for so long, after an unprecedented run from an actor in a role, the character was finally laid to rest. So, naturally, Deadpool & Wolverine opens with Deadpool digging up Logan’s corpse, convinced he’s still alive, and then massacring an army of soldiers from the Time Variance Authority (TVA) with the dead Mutant’s Adamantium skeleton, even donning Logan’s signature claws at one point, all to the tune of NSYNC’s “Bye Bye Bye”. It turns out that Wade’s life took a bit of a downturn after Deadpool 2; he struggled with his mercenary lifestyle and his place in the world, pushing his lover, Vanessa Carlysle (Morena Baccarin) away after everything he did to save her life and ending up selling used cars in a bad toupee alongside Peter Wisdom (Rob Delaney). While celebrating his birthday alongside his returning supporting cast, Wade is accosted by the TVA and brought to Mr. Paradox (Macfadyen) at their headquarters. Despite Wade’s flagrant misuse of Cable’s time machine in Deadpool 2 (and him using it to sidestep into the MCU and lobby for application with the Avengers), the TVA are seeking to recruit him rather than “prune” him. Wade’s told that Logan’s tragic death is causing his universe to collapse; since Logan was an “Anchor Being”, Earth-10005 literally cannot sustain itself without him and will die out in a few thousand years. Wade’s given the opportunity to avoid this fate and join the MCU (Earth-616), finally taking his rightful place alongside Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and proving that he matters not just to himself, but to Vanessa and the entire world.

*Deadpool recruits a jaded version of Wolverine to save his world, and the two naturally clash..*

However, Deadpool’s dreams of raking in the Disney cash are quickly dashed when Mr. Paradox immediately reveals that he doesn’t care for Earth-10005 and has aspirations to take over the TVA and take a more direct approach to such events. Realising that Mr. Paradox’s “Time Ripper” device will destroy his world and everyone he loves within 72 hours, Deadpool immediately defies the TVA, steals once of their time devices, and embarks on a short jaunt throughout the multiverse to find a “Variant” of Wolverine to replace his one. After some fun homages and being attacked at every turn, he finally finds a disillusioned Wolverine drowning his sorrows in a bar. However, when Mr. Paradox scoffs at the idea of this Variant (widely known as the “worst” version of Wolverine) could ever replace Logan, he zaps the two to the “Void”, a barren wasteland filled with discarded remnants from deleted or forgotten timelines. While Deadpool is determined to find a way back and safe his universe, Wolverine has no interest and lashes out at Wade at every turn for getting him involved. Surly, jaded, and wracked with guilt after failing to save his X-Men, this Wolverine may wear the most comic accurate suit of any live-action portrayal (not counting some of his other Variants seen in this film) but he’s not interested in playing the hero anymore. Deadpool and Wolverine’s relationship is antagonistic and strained from the start; Logan is constantly frustrated by Wade’s motormouth and is incensed to find Deadpool lied to him to get him to help. The banter and interactions between Jackman and Reynolds are the highlight of the film, as are their many bloody fights against and alongside each other. The two bounce off each other so well, with Deadpool being like an annoying, peppy, snarky younger brother to the older, cynical Wolverine. Wolverine’s attitude towards Deadpool is only further soured when his childishness and blatant lies cause newfound allies to be killed, yet he’s forced to help the Merc with a Mouth on the slim chance that Logan’s timeline can be corrected and his mistakes can be undone.

*Nova sets her sights on the TVA’s tech and is protected by a misfit army of Variants.*

Unfortunately for the two, they’re stuck with each other in a desolate world outside of time, one filled with cameos, Easter Eggs, and Variants who are both out to help and hider them. The first they encounter, Johnny Storm/The Human Torch (Chris Evans), tells them that the Void is not only constantly preyed upon by the monstrous Alioth but also ruled over by the psychotic Cassandra Nova (Corrin), the telepathic twin sister of Professor Charles Xavier/Professor X (Patrick Stewart/James McAvoy) who resides within the colossal skeletal remains of Scott Lang/Ant-Man (Paul Rudd). Nova, who was sent to the Void by the TVA as a child, has known nothing but hardship. Resentful towards her brother and craving only power, she has a tentative arrangement with Mr. Paradox to dispose of his trash, but is delighted to finally have a Wolverine in her midst. Unlike Xavier, Nova prefers to get (literally) hands-on when probing her victim’s minds, twisting their memories and reality to learn their secrets and showcasing incredible recuperative powers as well as telekinesis. Surrounding by an army of disgruntled cast-offs (including right-hand-man John Allerdyce/Pyro (Stanford), Cain Marko/Juggernaut (Aaron W. Reed), and cameos from other disposable Brotherhood characters), Nova makes a sport of torturing and executing both her enemies and allies. Although she shows a glimmer of humanity when she learns of her brother’s loving ways from Wolverine, her desire for conquest is sparked when she learns of Mr. Paradox’s Time Ripper and she doesn’t hesitate to leave the Void via a stolen Sling Ring to get her hands on it, determined to eradicate world after world until all that’s left is the Void’s blissful emptiness. Although Deadpool and Wolverine can take on Nova’s minions (with some help), they’re no mater for her in a one-on-one fight due to her incredible psychic powers. As if that wasn’t bad enough, there’s an entire legion of Deadpool Variants wandering the Void, all of them devoted to protecting Nova, and this army of wise-cracking psychos literally stands between our heroes and their target in the finale, leading to one of the best and bloodiest action sequences in the film, made all the more enjoyable not just by Logan’s happiness at slaughtering so many Deadpools but him finally donning his comic accurate mask!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Considering Deadpool & Wolverine is largely focused on delivering the much-needed spectacle of seeing the titular characters interact and cut each other to ribbons, the film has a surprising emotional depth. I guess this shouldn’t actually be that surprising as the previous films had an unexpected pathos to them as well, but it’s incredibly effective here. While still a loquacious, self-referential, crude dervish, Wade is struggling with his purpose in life. When Harold “Happy” Hogan (Jon Favreau) rejects his application to the Avengers, Wade enters a slump so deep that Vanessa leaves him, he gives up his mercenary ways, and he’s resigned to a boring, normal life. He’s elated at the idea of joining the MCU but cannot bring himself to sacrifice his loved ones to do so, and is so determined to stop Mr. Paradox that he defies the entire TVA. However, it’s through Wolverine that the film finds most of its emotion. While similar to the Wolverine we knew and loved, this one is notably different; he’s at the bottom of the barrel, regularly drinks away his pain, and is wracked by guilt after his selfish actions caused the death of the X-Men and persecution of Mutants on his world. He’s dismissive of his counterpart’s more heroic stature and openly scoffs at Wade’s aspirations to save his world, but his heart is still flickering beneath his pain. Its flame is once again fanned by Laura Kinney/X-23 (Dafne Keen), who’s heartfelt thanks to Logan convince him to oppose Nova, and by the finale he’s even prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice once again to save Wade’s world and gain some redemption. While Logan was a perfect swansong for the character and actor, Jackman continues to nail Logan and bring new nuance to the role. He’s in phenomenal shape for his age and better than ever here as an unhinged, broken version of the character, and it’s a delight not just to see him back but to see him donning the iconic costume and portraying other Wolverine Variants, such as Patch, Age of Apocalypse, a hilarious pint-sized Variant, and even one in the middle of a fight against Doctor Bruce Banner/The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). However, he does have some competition for the role when Deadpool briefly meets a gruff and buff variation played by Henry Cavill!

*Violent, crude, and packed with cameos,* Deadpool & Wolverine also features some surprising pathos.

Although some were sceptical that Disney could stay true to Deadpool’s R-rated roots, Deadpool & Wolverine is just as crude and bloody as its predecessors. Wade has lost none of his fourth-wall-breaking charm, regularly making digs at Disney, MCU head honcho Kevin Feige, 20^th Century Fox, and even the mixed reception of the MCU’s fourth phase of movies. Both he and Wolverine cuss up a storm here, ripping into each other and their enemies (and allies) with quips, barbs, and even “fucks” to make a vicar blush. Not only that but the two regularly engage in bloody fights with each other; since both are functionally immortal and have rapid healing, they can carve seven kinds of shit out of each other all day and never get tired. While this could get boring, the film mixes up their fights and has them engage in a barroom scuffle, and all-out knife fight in the Void, and a brutal punch-up in a car! The action continues as their fights are momentarily derailed to focus on Nova’s underlings, including a short (but satisfying) rematch between Wolverine and Victor Creed/Sabretooth (Tyler Mane), and a massive brawl against Nova’s ragtag army. Although Johnny meets a rather gruesome end thanks to Wade’s motormouth, Deadpool and Wolverine are regularly aided by “Nicepool” (Reynolds) and his super-ugly pup, Mary Poppins/Dogpool (Peggy). X-23 also brings them to Elektra Natchios (Jennifer Garner), Eric Brooks/Blade (Wesley Snipes), and Remy LeBeau/Gambit (Channing Tatum), forgotten characters who are eager to have their chance in the limelight. These cameos were some of the best and most unexpected parts of the film; never in a million years would I have thought Snipes and Reynolds would work together again, but he’s still got it as Blade and (while I’m not fan of his) Tatum overdelivered in finally getting to play Gambit. It was also fun seeing Evans swear like a trooper as Johnny and to see X-23 all grown up, still as ferocious as ever. Although Deadpool’s other Variants remain masked, this army of psychos was quite the highlight as well; we had a Lady Deadpool (Unknown/Blake Lively), a “Cowboypool” (voiced by Matthew McConaughey), a disembodied floating head (voiced by Nathan Fillion), samurai Deadpool, Deadpool 2099, and so many others (though, strangely, no “Barakapool”).. The cost of all these amazing cameos and returning characters was the side-lining of Deadpool’s supporting cast, who mainly bookend the film, with the exception of Peter, who’s presence is enough to stop the Deadpools from fighting since all of them love him in every reality!

*Deadpool and Wolverine must set aside their differences to stop Nova from destroying the multiverse.*

Trapped in the Void, Deadpool and Wolverine’s only way home is through Cassandra Nova. Thus, wade convince Elektra, Blade, Gambit, and X-23 to help them storm Nova’s compound and get them home. While they’re able to appeal to her humanity to help them, she soon follows, eager to get her hands on the Time Ripper, and Deadpool and Wolverine have to lice and dice their way through the Deadpool army to get to her. Thanks, as mentioned, to Peter, they reach the TVA facility, where Nova has forcibly coerced Mr. Paradox into activating the machine. The only ay to stop it is for one of them to connect the matter/anti-matter coils, an act that would vaporise them instantly. Reinvigorated by this time with Deadpool, Wolverine offers (almost begs) to take the fall and redeem himself in death, but Deadpool swaps places with him at the last minute, determined to give Logan a second chance and prove that he’s worthy as a hero. With time running out and Deadpool struggling to connect the wires, Wolverine joins him and, together, they endure the strain of the connection, creating a feedback loop that destroys Nova and has the unexpected side effect of saving Earth-10005 from destruction. Although Mr. Paradox tries to talk himself out of a reprimand, he’s scuppered when the Mutants survive their ordeal and turn him in to Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku), who agrees to free Deadpool’s allis from the Void but refuses to change Logan’s world since those experiences made him into a hero. Victorious, Deadpool and Wolverine make amends, finding common ground from shawarma and their adventure, and Wade invites him to meet his friends, restoring Wolverine to Earth-10005. Although the post-credits scene is nothing to shout about and simply shows Johnny Strom cussing out Cassandra Nova, a beautiful tribute to the 20^th Century Fox Marvel films plays during the credits that shows the love and heart that went into the X-Men films, in particular, and shows that Marvel Studios are more than willing to acknowledge their presence and contribution to the genre.

The Summary:
The promise of seeing Deadpool and Wolverine, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, match wits and weapons in live-action has been an enticing one for fifteen years, ever since Reynolds took his first tentative steps into the role. Even after Deadpool got a second chance and became a solo success, a team-up between the two has been teased and it seemed we’d never get it after Logan’s poignant end. While I had no doubt we’d see Deadpool transition into the MCU, I never expected Jackman to return to his iconic role beyond a sly cameo here and there, so to se the two finally together, in uncompromising action and wearing glorious comic-accurate suits, was a joy. Deadpool & Wolverine might alienate some who haven’t been keeping up with the MCU’s multiverse shenanigans, but it goes out of its way to emphasis time and again that this Wolverine is a different version to what we’ve seen before and Jackman delivers probably his best performance as the character to date. His Wolverine is at his lowest end, bad-tempered and burdened by impossible guilt, and quick to animalistic violence. He’s the gruff “straight man” to Deadpool’s wacky, outrageous humour and the two have such chemistry that every interaction and punch thrown is a delight. Seeing Wade go to such lengths to save his loved ones and prove himself is as emotional as seeing Wolverine try one last time to do the right thing, with both having to overcome incredible emotional baggage to save the world despite neither being the right man for the job. Emma Corrin made for an unsettling villain; a twisted version of Professor X, she’s both unhinged and psychotic, perfectly matching Deadpool’s eccentricities and Wolverine’s ferocity, and I liked that she was powerful enough that they had to think of other ways to stop her. Of course, a huge highlight of the film is all the cameos, Easter Eggs, and returning characters, allowing Deadpool & Wolverine to not just be a homage to the X-Men movies but also an acknowledgement of the Marvel properties that paved the way for the MCU. It’s stuffed with crude humour, gratuitous violence and swearing, and fanboy pandering in all the right ways, making Deadpool & Wolverine a fantastic step in the right direction for the MCU and laying the foundation for further fan service later down the line.

My Rating:

Fantastic

Did you enjoy Deadpool & Wolverine? Were you excited to see the two finally team up, and to see Hugh Jackman back as Wolverine? What did you think to Wolverine’s comic-accurate costume? Which cameo was your favourite and which did you least expect? What did you think to Cassandra Nova as a threat and which of the fight scenes was your favourite? Which of the X-Men films was your favourite and how do you think the X-Men will be introduced into the MCU? Whatever your thoughts on Deadpool, Wolverine, and the X-Men, drop a comment below.

Movie Night: Red Heat

30/07/202415/05/2024Dr. KLeave a comment

Released: 17 June 1988
Director: Walter Hill
Distributor: Tri-Star Pictures
Budget: $29 million (estimated)
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Ed O’Ross, Larry Fishburne, and Peter Boyle

The Plot:
When drug kingpin Viktor Rostavili (O’Ross) kills Captain Ivan Danko’s (Schwarzenegger) partner and flees to the United States, Danko is partnered with Chicago police detective Art Ridzik (Belushi). Echoing the tensions between the US and the Soviet Union, the odd couple must set aside their differences to keep Rostavili from smuggling cocaine into Russia.

The Background:
Following the end of the Second World War, the United States and the Soviet Union frequently clashed in a “Cold War”, a nearly-fifty-year political stalemate in which the threat of all-out nuclear annihilation was high as tensions escalated between the two superpowers. Consequently, Russians were frequently vilified in Hollywood productions, characterised as stoic, almost machine-like, and cruel, with perhaps the most memorable fictional Russian being the ice-cold genetic freak Captain Ivan Drago (Dolph Lundgren). In 1987, Mel Gibson and Danny Glover saw critical and financial success as mis-matched police officers in Lethal Weapon (Donner, 1987), which inspired a slew of similar odd-couple, buddy cop action/comedies. With Arnold Schwarzenegger a hot commodity after the success of The Terminator (Cameron, 1984), writer/director Walter Hill combined these two elements into the basic premise of Red Heat and approached Schwarzenegger to star. Despite the lack of a complete script, Schwarzenegger agree to join the production based on Hill’s success with the buddy cop hit 48 Hrs. (Hill, 1982), and Hill purposely aimed to tone down Schwarzenegger’s bombastic persona in favour of a more realistic performance. Schwarzenegger was joined by comedy actor James Belushi, who saw the contentious relationship between their characters as the heart of the movie above all else. With a $34.9 million box office, Red Heat was a modest financial success; it briefly held the number one spot at the box office, but was met with mixed reviews. Many criticised the gratuitous violence and middling pace, though the film has since been seen as a cult classic. Since today is Arnold’s birthday, this is the perfect time to revisit the film and see if it’s worthy of being classified as an under-rated entry in Schwarzenegger’s filmography.

The Review:
Red Heat begins, appropriately enough, in the frigid yet architecturally stunning city of Moscow. There we find Yuri Ogarkov (Oleg Vidov) amidst a bunch of surly, beefed-up Russians and naked babes working out and relaxing in a gym; among them is Captain Ivan Danko, who seemingly fits right in with his intense, stone-faced expression and peak, Olympian physique. They’re there looking for a lead on drug baron Viktor Rostavili, but Danko is forced to take a more direct approach when he’s challenged by the other men. Luckily, Danko is more than capable, handling a boiling-hot stone without flinching and easily beating the shit out of his hulking attackers despite wearing nothing but a little shawl to cover his modesty. The fight spills to the outside where, in the freezing snow, Danko absorbs some comically enhanced shots and demands information on Viktor’s whereabouts, learning that he’s holed up at the Druzhba Café. After a tense confrontation and a shoot-out (that includes the amusing reveal that Rostavili’s underling is hiding cocaine in his artificial leg), Danko pursues and guns down Rostavili’s brother, Vagran (Gábor Koncz), but the man himself manages to slip away after surprising Yuri with a spring-loaded pistol attached to his wrist. Though impassive at his friend’s funeral, Danko is clearly seething and grateful to be given the chance to retrieve Rostavili from Chicago.

*Ridzik’s hot-headed temperament clashes with Danko’s more subdued demeanour.*

While Danko is introduced as a serious, focused man who’s all business on the job, the opposite is true of Art Ridzik, who we first meet ogling women, much to the exasperation of Lieutenant Charlie Stobbs (Fishburne) and Sergeant Max Gallagher (Richard Bright). A natural smart mouth who’s become somewhat disillusioned with the daily grind of the job, Ridzik’s outspoken and cynical nature rubs his superiors the wrong way since he’d rather make snappy quips than focus on the job. Although he facies himself a ladies’ man, Ridzik is beset by rejections at every turn, which he brushes off with a casual disinterest, though he’s frustrated by Stobbs’ low opinion of him (but, it has to be said, not enough to actually buck up his ideas, knuckle down, and be less snarky and lackadaisical). Ridzik almost immediately gets on the wrong side of Danko with his irritating curiosity and sarcastic nature; Ridzik sees chaperoning and being lumbered with Danko as a shitty deal, one akin to babysitting, which is a constant headache to his overly stressed superior, Commander Lou Donnelly (Boyle). Hot-headed and trigger happy, Ridzik is eventually shown to be incensed when Rostavili’s goons callously gun down Gallagher to rescue their boss and at being constantly left in the dark (and the lurch) by Danko’s standoffish nature. Although their personalities and methods clash and Ridzik is irritated at being stuck with “Gumby” and having to deal with his strait-laced, blunt attitude, Ridzik proves invaluable to Danko’s investigation. He takes him to visit the enigmatic, blind, drug dealer Abdul Elijah (Brent Jennings) in prison and learns that Rostavili has been working with the local street gangs to smuggle cocaine into Moscow. Unfortunately, whether because of cruel fate or his own abrasive behaviour and questionable methods, Ridzik is beset by misfortune no matter how hard he tries; he gets hot coffee splashed on his crotch, is forced to endure a tetanus shot, and is constantly being reprimanded even for things out of his control. However, he and Danko have more in common than they’d care to admit, which ultimately leads to them reaching a mutual respect and understanding when it comes to nailing Rostavili by any means necessary.

*Danko’s blunt methods and standoffish personality bring major headaches for Ridzig.*

Although Danko is generally portrayed as a stoic and almost emotionless machine (especially compared to his more emotional and bombastic peers in Chicago) and with an extremely strong sense of duty, he’s not above moments of levity and emotion. He owns a parakeet that he’s extremely protective of, is clearly rattled when his superiors blame him for Rostavili’s escape (even though he did nothing wrong), and shown to have a close relationship with Yuri, one that sees him both amused by his partner’s brand of banter and driven into an obsession towards Rostavili, whom he relentlessly pursues to make pay not just for the laundry list of crimes he’s perpetrated against the Soviet Union, but for Yuri’s death as well. Upon landing in Chicago, Danko doesn’t waste time or words getting right down to business; he bluntly greets his peers and impassively liaises with Donnelly and his officers simply to get his hands on Rostavili and reacts with stoic disinterest when Donnelly and even Ridzik challenge his aggressive methods and unlicensed firearm. Danko’s standoffish demeanour is exacerbated not just by the tensions surrounding the two nations but by his direct orders not to air Russia’s political and social problems in public, and his obvious embarrassment regarding the violent past of his country. It also doesn’t help that he’s largely disgusted by the decadent West and the excess of Capitalism; he despairs at their lack of discipline, the lawlessness of their streets, and their obsession with sex and debauchery. Danko’s has a very methodical approach to his job (even though all he has is a mysterious locker key to go on) and is granted license by Donnelly to continue his investigation since he’s a “loose cannon” that will either get results or take the fall through his actions, but not above being reprimanded when he pushes his luck too far. An extremely private individual, Danko reluctantly shares details of his life and career with Ridzik, revealing a morbid background that has hardened him into an instrument of uncompromising justice, yet even he shows sympathy towards deluded fitness trainer Catherine “Cat” Manzetti (Gina Gershon), just one of many women Rostavili has wooed into marrying him and acting as a patsy for his operations out of misguided devotion.

*Rosta is a cruel manipulator with an underused gimmick who plots to spread cocaine throughout Moscow.*

Rostavili (who has taken the clever alias Viktor Rosta) is depicted as a reprehensible and callous criminal, one who is seen as a poison to the great Soviet Union because he floods Moscow with drugs and threatens to upset the strict, carefully maintained balance of law and order. A snarling, embittered Georgian man who feels slighted by prejudice towards his people, Rosta has nothing but disgust for authority, especially the Moscow Militsiya, and delights in defying them both explicitly and in the peddling of cocaine. Rosta flees to Chicago after being outed in Moscow and immediately sets himself up as the newest crime boss in town; alongside his fellow Georgians, he establishes an intricate network of underworld contacts and associates and a simple system of communication using go-fers, telephone booths, and torn bills to peddle his wares with the aim of smuggling $5 million worth of cocaine into Moscow using local gangs and even a shame marriage, one he ends in brutal fashion after Cat tries to escape his clutches, revealing himself to be as calculating as he is cruel. Unfortunately, a disruption in his operation causes him to get a little sloppy and be arrested for speeding, alerting Moscow to his presence and causing Danko to pursue him with a vengeance. Although Rosta escapes custody, he loses the key to his drug stash in the process, and this naturally becomes his primary goal; he lures Danko into an ambush and attempts to first appeal to his patriotism and then bribe him into handing it over, to no avail, much to Rosta’s disgust. Rosta then has his assassin, Josip Baroda (Tengiz Borisoff), impersonate a nurse to murder his own man (Roger Callard) before he can talk, before using his gang buddies as bait to distract Danko so he can retrieve his key and callously murdering Cat, bringing major heat on both Danko and Ridzik.

The Nitty-Gritty:
As was often the case around this time, the depiction of the Soviet Union and Russians is greatly exaggerated for comedic effect. Well, I say that but for all I know Russians really were massive, surly, patriotic robots during this time, but just going by the bombastic soundtrack and the in-your-face presentation of Moscow and Russian culture as this uncompromising and ruthless society makes me assume that these elements were enhanced to paint them comedic opposites to the more laidback and carefree United States. This forms much of the film’s comedy; Danko’s peers and superiors mock America’s theatricality, Danko (regal in his pressed uniform) stands out like a sore thumb on the streets of Chicago, and then there’s the obvious contentious relationship between him and Ridzik. Given the genre of the film, it’s tempting to make parallels to Lethal Weapon, but they don’t really have much relevance here beyond some superficial similarities; for all his talk of “Miranda Rights” and due process, Ridzik isn’t exactly a by-the-book cop so seeing him chew Danko out for his more extreme and blunt methods is oddly hypocritical considering he openly plants incriminating evidence on “Streak” (Brion James). Some of the best moments in Red Heat are born from Danko’s inability to understand American slang and humour and his commentary on the decadent West compared to the more efficient (and brutal) nature of the Soviet Union when it comes to punishing criminals and dealing with politicians and drugs alike. With Schwarzenegger being at his physical peak, Danko’s punches land with comic book-style power and he’s shown to be extremely formidable. Even he isn’t impervious to damage, however, as seen when Rosta’s attack leaves him with a nasty concussion, but naturally he’s up and about before too long.

*Despite their differences, Danko and Ridzik work together to stop Rosta and part as friends.*

Of course, it wouldn’t be a buddy cop movie without some shoot-outs: Danko gets into violent gunfight at the beginning (somehow avoiding being shot despite being such a big target in a small space), but Ridzik’s bust of Salim’s (J.W. Smith) apartment is noticeably more frantic and involves a lot more guns and chaotic shouting. Danko also impresses with his massive Soviet cannon and .44 Magnum, gunning down Rosta’s goons in glorious ‘80’s fashion, complete with blood squibs and crashing glass. Uniquely, Red Heat concludes with a bus chase through the busy Chicago streets; this comes after Ridzik’s sleazy brother-in-law, Pat Nunn (Michael Hagerty), inadvertently solves the mystery of the locker key, which sees Ridzik and Danko confront Rosta at the bus station. Unfortunately, a conflict of opinion regarding which one of them gets to take him in allows Rosta to flee in a stolen bus, so the two commandeer one of their own to pursue him. This results in a surprisingly frantic chase considering the size and unwieldy nature of the buses and sees them careening through traffic and landmarks alike, all while Ridzik loudly curses in frustration. Ultimately, Danko and Rosta drive at each other, each one determined to see the other dead regardless of their own life. Luckily for Danko, Ridzik is on hand to force a last-second swerve, resulting in minor injuries for them and a final, blood-soaked showdown between Danko and Rosta that sees the despicable drug pusher gunned down. Despite their differences, Ridzik and Danko part as friends; they even exchange wrist watches in the time-honoured tradition of the Soviets (though Ridzik gets amusingly shafted on the exchange) and agree that, while their countries may have their differences, they’re “police officers, not politicians”.

The Summary:
Although I grew up watching Arnold Schwarzenegger films and I was (and still am) a massive fan of his, Red Heat is one of his movies I’m not as familiar with. I didn’t see it until I was much older, so I don’t have the same nostalgia for it as I do his other films. While this doesn’t mean I’m any less entertained by it, I can’t say I often choose to watch it over his other films or other, more enjoyable buddy cop flicks. Schwarzenegger is great in this role; it plays into the strengths that made him so memorable in The Terminator while also allowing him to showcase a different range of emotions, such as a subdued sense of duty and an implacable determination to get his man. I also really enjoyed Belushi here as the wise-ass jerk of the two, and I think they had real chemistry together, but I feel like the film never lives up to the potential this pairing has. It’s weird seeing Ridzik be such a smart-ass to everyone and yet lecture Danko on proper procedures even when he’s (as in Ridzik) brazenly breaking the rules; their relationship is made wildly inconsistent because of this and I think it would’ve been better if Ridzik had been the hot-headed loose cannon and Danko had been the by-the-books military man, with the two then learning from and understanding each other’s perspective across the film. Instead, while it seems to lean that way, Ridzik wildly jumps from doing things right, to defying his orders or openly insulting his superiors, and between criticising and admiring Danko from scene to scene, needlessly complicating their pursuit of Rosta. The action and gunplay was decent, and the film’s definitely leaning more into the cop drama aspects of Lethal Weapon rather than the comedy/action of its sequels, but I don’t think it really out-does Lethal Weapon in this regard. Its main unique aspect is the dichotomy between the US and Russia, with the US being mocked and criticised for its debauchery and Russia for being so uptight. It’s amusing, and I liked the clash of styles and methods, but it loses a lot of impact due to the aforementioned inconsistent tone and kind of feels like it was just an excuse to poke fun at the militant Russians. Ultimately, it’s a decent enough movie but there are better Schwarzenegger and buddy cop movies out there; it’s a quick watch (maybe too quick at times, resulting in a serious lack of screen time for Rosta) with some potential, but I can’t rate it much higher (despite the chemistry between the two leads) since it squanders a lot of that potential.

My Rating:

Pretty Good

What do you think to Red Heat? How do you think the film holds up against other buddy cop movies and where would you rank it against Arnold’s other films? What did you think to Schwarzenegger’s portrayal of the stoic Danko and his banter with Ridzik? Do you feel the film had the right balance of action and comedy or were you also left a bit deflated by it? What did you think to Rosta and commentary on US and Russian society? Do you have any memories of the Cold War? How are you celebrating Schwarzenegger’s birthday today and what is your favourite Schwarzenegger film? Whatever you think, go ahead and leave your thoughts below or drop a comment on my social media.

Movie Night [Captain Picard Day]: Star Trek: Insurrection

16/06/202403/07/2024Dr. K1 Comment

As amusing detail in the Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987 to 1994) episode “The Pegasus” (Burton, 1994) is that the crew and children of the U.S.S. Enterprise-D celebrate “Captain Picard Day” on Stardate 47457.1, which roughly translates to this day, the 16^th of June. They do this by producing drawings, models, and paintings that the bewildered Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) must then judge. I, however, am using this as another good excuse to delve into some more Picard and Next Generation content.

Released: 11 December 1998
Director: Jonathan Frakes
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Budget: $70 million
Stars: Patrick Stewart, F. Murray Abraham, Brent Spiner, Donna Murphy, Jonathan Frakes, Marina Sirtis, and Anthony Zerbe

The Plot:
When Captain Picard uncovers a Starfleet conspiracy to steal the rejuvenating properties of the peaceful Ba’ku, the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise-E rebels to protect the functionally immortal adopted inhabitants from being forcibly relocated by corrupt Admiral Matthew Dougherty (Zerbe) and the warmongering Ahdar Ru’afo (Abraham).

The Background:
Once the popular Star Trek: The Next Generation series came to an end, the crew followed in their predecessors’ footsteps and moved on to the big screen. Although the highly anticipated meeting between Captain Picard and Captain James T. Kirk (William Shatner) failed to live up to the potential of its premise, it did well at the box office. However, while the sequel (one of my favourite Star Trek movies), Star Trek: First Contact (Frakes, 1996), outdid its predecessor considerably with its $30 million gross, Paramount wished to lighten to tone for the next film. After some deliberation, writer Michael Piller based the story around the quest for everlasting youth; one draft saw Lieutenant Commander Data (Spiner) killed off, and star Patrick Stewart was adamant that the script remain true to his arc from First Contact by fighting an ethical battle. Star Trek: Insurrection was the first Star Trek film to replace traditional model shots with CGI sequences, though fifty-five full sets were constructed to build the Ba’ku village and the Son’a were brought to life through extensive prosthetics and make-up effects. With a worldwide gross of over $117 million, Star Trek: Insurrection made a bit less than its predecessor and was met with mixed reviews. Critics noted that the film was little more than an extended episode of the TV series and a sluggish experience, though others were impressed by the performances and character moments. Of course, the Next Generation crew would return regardless for an unmitigated critical and commercial, leading to a franchise reboot in 2009 before the cast and crew finally reunited almost twenty years after their last adventure.

The Review:
It’s a commonly held belief that all the odd-numbered Star Trek movies are bad, and all the even-numbered Star Trek movies are good; while this is naturally subjective (I prefer the fifth movie to the sixth, for example), I can’t deny that Star Trek: First Contact is one of my favourites in the franchise. After the snore-fest that was Star Trek Generations, First Contact delivered all the action and intrigue I’d expect from a Next Generation film so I was naturally excited to see what the crew would get up to in their next film. Imagine my disappointment to find that Star Trek: Insurrection was a more light-hearted, character-driven romp that was both a re-framing and a contradiction of the Next Generation episode “Journey’s End” (Allen, 1994). Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand that Star Trek is about much more than just space battles and action-orientated plots, but some of the worst episodes across the franchise are those that focus more on politics, philosophy, and slower, less engaging plots so I’ve often had a contentious relationship with this film. Ironically, Star Trek: Insurrection forgoes a lengthy title sequence and instead displays the titles while introducing us to the Ba’ku, who live a simple live free of technology. They’re people of the land who grow their own food and work together in peace and harmony, and have no idea that Starfleet are secretly monitoring them using special cloaked suits and a cloaked outpost. However, the Ba’ku are alerted to their presence when Lieutenant Commander Data suffers a sudden malfunction, attacking Starfleet’s officers and their Son’a allies, exposing them to the locals and terrifying children like Artim (Michael Welch).

*When Data malfunctions, Picard investigates and uncovers a startling Starfleet conspiracy.*

When we catch up with Data’s crewmates, they’re in the midst of welcoming a new, if technologically underdeveloped, race into the United Federation of Planets to help replenish the Federation’s losses at the hands of the Borg and the Dominion. This, sadly, just makes me wish that we’d had a Next Generation/Deep Space Nine (1993 to 1999) film that focused on the conflict with the Dominion. Not only was this a catastrophic and significant story in Star Trek lore, it also would’ve given the Deep Space Nine cast some time in the spotlight. Instead, we’re left with Picard’s awkward (if amusing) interactions with the relatively primitive Evora and an explanation for Lieutenant Commander Worf’s (Michael Dorn) presence that’s so weak the characters simply interrupt him rather than dwell on it. Luckily for Picard, Admiral Dougherty pulls him away from these diplomatic duties to request Data’s schematics; although Picard supplies this information, his concern for his friend and crewmate sees him disregard Dougherty’s suggestion to avoid coming in person because of “environmental concerns”. When they arrive, Data is said to have taken hostages and has stolen a Federation shuttle and Dougherty is under pressure from his Son’a ally, Ahdar Ru’afo, to destroy the android. Picard convinces the Admiral to let him and Worf attempt to shut Data down by distracting him with an amusing chorus from H.M.S. Pinafore; or, The Lass That Loved a Sailor (Sullivan and Gilbert, 1878), only to be embarrassed when Data’s “hostages” have been treated as guests by Anij (Murphy) and Sojef (Daniel Hugh Kelly). Picard is both disgusted to find that Starfleet have been wilfully disregarding the “Prime Directive” of non-interference by spying on the Ba’ku and surprised to find the Ba’ku are a warp-capable race with considerable knowledge of technology, they just choose not to employ it in favour of enjoying the tranquillity of their adopted world and the “metaphasic particles” that bestow rejuvenating effects upon them.

*Both Picard and Data connect with the Ba’ku and strongly opposed Starfleet’s plans to relocate them.*

Picard feels a renewed vigour thanks to the Ba’ku and an intense admiration for the culture, alongside an obvious attraction to Anji that drives him to learn more about their people and their journey. Sojef reveals that the Ba’ku were once on the verge of self-annihilation and fled to establish a peaceful sanctuary some 309 years previously, and Picard is disgusted by the plot to relocate the Ba’ku, who refuse to take up arms and lower themselves to war. Thankfully, Picard is outraged by the blatant disregard for Starfleet’s guiding principles and is on-hand to fight for their continued survival. He’s in awe of their unique affliction, which enables them to live longer, healthier lives, continuing an ongoing theme of his advancing years and mortality that’s laced throughout the Next Generation movies. Although tempted to bask in the Ba’ku’s power, Picard’s knowledge of human history drives him to oppose Dougherty’s schemes; aghast by the Federation Council’s claim upon the Ba’ku, Picard has an impassioned, defiant confrontation with Dougherty and essentially goes rogue from Starfleet to prevent past atrocities happening gain. While initially somewhat hostile towards Picard, Anji is unique amongst her people in that she has a fascination for technology; she’s horrified to discover that the Federation are planning to covertly take her people off-world but warms to Picard after being amused by his curiosity. She encourages him to take the time to embrace the moment, to stop analysing and just give himself fully to life, a perception heightened by the Ba’ku and which allows them (and, eventually, Picard) to effectively slow down a single moment in time in order to appreciate life and survive fatal injuries. Although he’s now capable of expressing emotions, Data remains as curious and socially awkward as ever. Star Trek: Insurrection explores new layers of his humanity and character growth through his relationship with Artim, a Ba’ku boy both fascinated and afraid of the android’s capabilities since he’s grown up devoid of technology. Although it takes some effort for Data to convince Artim that he’s not a threat, Artim eventually teaches Data the value of playing and having fun, allowing Data to experience a degree of the light-hearted focus of the film despite not being affected by the metaphasic particles. Data also proves invaluable in setting the plot in motion since it’s his brief malfunction that attracts Picard to the Ba’ku, is instrumental in getting Picard and Anji to safety by acting as a flotation device, and he who exposed the Federation plot.

*The rejuvenating effects of Ba’ku affects the crew in emotional and comedic ways.*

The Ba’ku’s metaphasic particles have a rejuvenating effect on the rest of the crew as well (strangely even before the Enterprise-E reaches Ba’ku), though it’s primarily played for laughs through Worf’s struggles withs Klingon boils and rising “aggressive tendencies” due to essentially suffering through Klingon puberty. The planet’s influence also gives Commander William Riker (Frakes) and Counsellor Deanna Troi (Sirtis) the chance to rediscover their passion for each other with carefree, adolescent playfulness. This not only sees Troi shave Riker’s trademark beard (in a sensual bubble bath, no less) after reacting with impish disgust to his facial hair and rekindle their romantic relationship, injecting a little flirtatious sexuality into the usually less romantically inclined Next Generation narrative. In addition to joining Picard’s rescue team, Doctor Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) reveals the extent of the planet’s rejuvenating effects to the captain through examinations of the crew, noting increased metabolism and energy from exposure to the metaphysic particles. She’s also the one who delivers crucial exposition into the Son’a, revealing that they and the Ba’ku are one and the same. Concerned for his friend’s welfare, Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge (LeVar Burton) puts his engineering expertise and knowledge of Data’s systems to work to discover that the android was damaged by a Son’a phaser after he discovered the elaborate holoship they plan to use to smuggle the Ba’ku off the planet. Throughout the film, Geordi struggles with his cybernetic optical implants, but sadly misses out on exploring the emotional potential of his restored eyes in any depth; however, Burton expresses profound emotion in conveying Geordi’s appreciation at seeing a sunrise with his own eyes for the first time in his life. Although Picard fully intends to go solo in his mission to defend the Ba’ku, Worf, Data, Troi, and Crusher rebel alongside him while Riker and Geordi appeal to the Federation Council. Although reluctant to rely on technology to safeguard his people, Sojef mobilises a mass evacuation to the tunnels in the surrounding mountains while Picard and his crew defend them from the Son’a attack

*Dougherty allies with the Son’a, unaware that they wish to destroy their benevolent kinsmen.*

Dougherty has allied with the Son’a and their leader, Ahdar Ru’afo, in a bid to monitor and safely displace the Ba’ku so as to harness the metaphasic particles for wider use. This is an alliance of convenience since only the Son’a have the means to harvest the particles, but Dougherty sees Ba’ku as a chance to save and improve countless lives despite the fact that this will essentially leave the planet a barren wasteland. While Dougherty fully believes that he has every right to do this since the Ba’ku barely number six-hundred and aren’t indigenous to their world, he’s adamant that the mission falls within strict Federation procedures, meaning he values subterfuge and patience to avoid unnecessary attention and bloodshed. Ru’afo finds Dougherty’s insistence on rules and regulations first amusing and then increasingly aggravating since he believes it’s slowing things down when brute force would achieve the same means much faster. Riker and Troi’s research show the Son’a to an aggressive, oppressive, war-like race who conquer and subjugate others for riches and power, but Dougherty is forced to rely on their weapons and expertise since the Son’a are exiles from the Ba’ku people and thus offer unique insight into the planet’s metaphasic properties. Ru’afo’s frustration not only comes from his jealousy and desire to avenge himself on his former people, but also a desperate need to bask in the Ba’ku’s rejuvenating properties since he’s reached the limits of genetic manipulation and many of his people cannot afford to wait for the particles to naturally improve their condition. Ru’afo and his people are dangerous and driven, but essentially outcast adolescents lashing out at their parents; we see this in Ru’afo’s right-hand man, Gallatin (Gregg Henry), who begins to doubt their mission as Ru’afo’s mania increases. Played with an intense, psychotic glee by accomplished stage actor F. Murray Abraham, Ru’afo’s true nature is exposed as his aggravation increases. While he goes along with Dougherty’s plan to covertly relocate the Ba’ku, he convinces the Admiral to sign off on an attack on the Enterprise-E (in one of my favourite exchanges in the film) when they refuse to leave the area and violently ends their partnership when Dougherty and his “procedures” get in his way once too often, leaving Ru’afo free to harvest the metaphasic particles with destructive force.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I mentioned earlier about the themes of mortality; the idea of Picard’s days being numbered and time being against him permeates the Next Generation films and is a clear holdover from the Original Series movies, where the advancing age of these characters was often at the forefront. Star Trek: Insurrection gives the whole crew the chance to rediscover their youth; renewed by the Ba’ku, there’s a playful energy on the Enterprise-E that sees even Picard revelling in his newfound energy. Picard, who has spent most of his life in space going from mission to mission, is severely tempted to slow down and settle on Ba’ku, whose people are free from the burdens of responsibility, and feels more alive than ever thanks to the planet’s influence. This is in stark contrast to the Son’a; exiled from the planet after a destructive rebellion, the Son’a are bitter and twisted and clinging to life by any means necessary, desperate to avenge themselves on their parents like raging children. Finally, a huge aspect of Ru’afo’s frustration with Federation procedures is predicated on his belief (and that of many during this time) that Starfleet, like Dougherty, is “old”. Extremists such as he recognise that the Federation has suffered crippling losses recently and is losing support, allowing him to aggressively influence the Admiral’s reluctant approval for the Son’a to intercept the Enterprise-E.

*What little space action there is here is, like many effects, spoiled by poor CGI.*

Star Trek: Insurrection does offer a few new visuals amidst its mostly middling plot; the opening sequence, in which Data attacks Starfleet personnel while partially cloaked, showcases some fun invisibility effects, as does the massive cloaked holoship that fascinates both Artim and Anji and reveals to Picard the blasphemous extent of Dougherty’s plan. However, I can’t help but notice that the ships and space action have taken a dramatic step back; CGI seems to have replaced all the traditional model shots and it looks down-right cartoonish at times, robbing Ru’afo’s flagship and its skirmishes with the Enterprise-E of a lot of their appeal. Once again Riker is left in command of the Enterprise-E and, once again, he’s hampered by environmental factors; the “Briar Patch” that surrounds Ba’ku makes space combat extremely dangerous, and the Son’a’s employment of a “subspace weapon” leaves Geordi with no choice but the eject the warp core to save the ship and Riker forced to manually highly volatile “metreon gas” to destroy the Son’a ships. However, most of action sequences take place on the planet’s surface; Picard and Data have a brief shoot-out with a Son’a guard aboard the holoship but the most prominent action sequences come as Picard and the others desperately defend the Ba’ku. This sees the village bombarded by phaser shots as the Son’a target the transport inhibitors, has Picard and the others fending off Son’a drones that forcibly transport the Ba’ku, and leaves Anij near death from the Son’a attack. Conversely, the Son’a are presented as one of the more unsettling Star Trek species; without the rejuvenating effects of Ba’ku, the Son’a have taken on a decrepit, almost mummified appearance. They’re forced to rely on genetic tampering and surprisingly gruesome cosmetic surgery to prolong their lives, warping and stretching their skin to the point where they are almost unrecognisable from their people, the Ba’ku, and often suffer from splits and lesions when they become too emotional. Although the CGI used to render their skin-stretching technology leaves a lot to be desired (especially compared to the more practical effects used to achieve the same means), it does result in a gruesome death scene for Admiral Dougherty when Ru’afo forces him into the machine and tears his face apart.

*Although tempted to stay after Ru’afo’s defeat, Picard chooses to continue fighting oppression.*

Despite Picard, Worf, and Data’s best efforts to get the Ba’ku to safety, most of them are abducted by the Son’a, including Anij and Picard, who’s more than ready to face a court martial if it means exposing Dougherty’s plot and reveals that the Admiral has gotten mixed up in a blood feud between the exiled Son’a. With the misguided Dougherty dead, Ru’afo orders the deployment of the “collector” (a set of sadly laughable CGI solar sails), despite Gallatin’s reservations about annihilating their former people. Picard appeals to Gallatin’s humanity and convinces him to aid him in opposing Ru’afo’s plan. Data then distracts Ru’afo with tachyon bursts to his flagship, forcing Ru’afo to reset their shield frequencies to avoid being destroyed by the “thermolytic reaction” the collector will produce. This creates an opening for an entertaining deception that sees the Son’a transported, en masse, to the holoship and momentarily fooled by a holographic simulation. Ru’afo quickly discovers the trick and is enraged; he transports himself directly to the collector to restart the process and Picard is forced to confront him, one-on-one, in the collector’s surprisingly sparse control room. After giving Ru’afo the runaround, Picard prepares to meet his end to destroy the collector and save the Ba’ku; luckily, the Enterprise-E arrives just in time to beam him to safety, leaving Ru’afo to go up in flames with his diabolical aspirations. Thanks to Riker, Starfleet halt the Ba’ku relocation plan and launch a full investigation and the remaining Son’a surrender, allowing Gallatin to bashfully reunite with his parents on Ba’ku. Although tempted to stay on the planet, and with Anij, Picard vows to continue protecting the universe from threats both foreign and domestic to ensure that the Federation doesn’t lose its way and repeat the worst mistakes of human history, and the crew return to the ship victorious, reinvigorated, and ready for their next adventure.

The Summary:
Even now, I remain conflicted about Star Trek: Insurrection: on the one hand, it’s a decent, surprisingly emotional adventure for the crew and a far more light-hearted escapade than the last film but, on the other hand, Star Trek: First Contact set a pretty high standard and Insurrection doesn’t come close to matching it. Fundamentally, they are two different films, however, just as different episodes of Star Trek told different stories and had different aspects that made them appealing. Some prefer the character-based stories; others the diplomatic stories or ruminations on age, humanity, and morality; and others prefer the more action-orientated episodes. For me, a Star Trek movie needs to hit all of those beats to have the most appeal and, while Star Trek: Insurrection does try to do this, it falls a little flat for me and comes across as a far too subdued production as a result. It’s a shame as there are some interesting elements here; the continued narrative of Picard’s age, for one thing, and the presentation of Starfleet as a less benevolent entity. Picard shines through his staunch defence of the Ba’ku but it’s interesting to learn that he had completely different stance on the same matter in “Journey’s End”. I liked seeing the crew be affected by the metaphasic particles, even if it is largely just played for laughs, and it’s mildly adorable to see Data explore what it means to be a child and Picard to consider settling down, even if neither of these plot points carry through to the next film. F. Murray Abraham was great as the conniving, desperate Ru’afo; I loved his frustration with Dougherty and his rules, but it’s not enough to salvage the film for me, especially when you remember the lacklustre special effects. Ultimately, it’s a more subdued and grounded Star Trek adventure but one I rarely find myself revisiting or really thinking about, so I’d still choose to watch Star Trek: First Contact any day.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

What did you think to Star Trek: Insurrection? Where does it rank against the other Next Generation and Star Trek films for you? Do you prefer its more light-hearted, grounded story? What did you think to Ru’afo and the gruesome depiction of the Son’a? Did you enjoy seeing the crew be more playful and relaxed? What did you think to the idea that Starfleet would so brazenly abandon their principles? How are you celebrating Captain Picard Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Star Trek: Insurrection, or Star Trek in general, go ahead and share them below and be sure to check out my other Star Trek reviews.

Movie Night: The A-Team

07/06/202411/04/2024Dr. KLeave a comment

Released: 11 June 2010
Director: Joe Carnahan
Distributor: 20^th Century Fox
Budget: $100 to 110 million
Stars: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Quinton “Rampage” Jackson, Sharlto Copley, Jessica Biel, Brian Bloom, and Patrick Wilson

The Plot:
Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith (Neeson) and his crack Alpha Team (or “A-Team”) – narcissistic Lieutenant Templeton “Face” Peck (Cooper), former Army Ranger Sergeant Bosco “B.A.” Baracus (Jackson), and unstable pilot Captain H.M. “Howling Mad” Murdock (Copley) – are dishonourably discharged and imprisoned after being framed for murder. After escaping from their prisons and reuniting, these highly adaptable and skilled soldiers must uncover a plot by a corrupt CIA operate and clear their names in the process.

The Background:
Between 1983 and 1987, viewers were treated to the exploits of the A-Team, soldiers of fortune created by writers and producers Stephen J. Cannell and Frank Lupo as a spiritual successor to other action-packed television shows, but with Mr. T as a selling point. To the surprise of many, The A-Team proved a big hit and bolstered Mr. T’s career, and development of a feature film began as early as the 1990s. After a proposed Ice Cube-helmed production fell through in 2008, the film finally got underway with Liam Neeson and MMA fighter Rampage Jackson attached to star. Stars Bradley Cooper and Sharlto Copley rode in to the premiere on a real Army tank, but The A-Team was met with middling reviews and an unimpressive $177.2 million box office. With critics and even the cast of the TV series attacking the film’s incomprehensible plot and mindless action sequences, a proposed sequel was unceremoniously cancelled, but I’ve always had a soft spot for it and figured today was a good excuse to revisit it since it’s Liam Neeson’s birthday!

The Review:
Since I grew up in the nineties, I never actually got to watch The A-Team as a kid. The show’s initial broadcast was right around the time I was just a little baby, and I don’t remember seeing too many re-runs on television, so I wasn’t as aware of it as other shows from that time, like Knight Rider (1982 to 1986) and Quantum Leap (1989 to 1993) since re-runs and broadcasts of those shows were much more accessible. However, I knew of the show, its distinctive theme music and opening narration, and the mainstream iconography of star Mr. T but, even now, my primary experience of the franchise is through this movie. The film begins with an extended opening and action sequence that brings the titular team together and establishes some of their defining character traits. Hannibal begins in cuffs and mercilessly beaten and threatened by corrupt Mexican Federal officers, who mock his lack of foresight and underestimate his tenacity. Easily freeing himself and cuffing two attack dogs, the seasoned Colonel sparks up a trademark cigar and heads out to rescue Face, who’s facing a slow and painful death at the hands of the vengeful General Javier Tuco (Yul Vazquez). Along the way, providence strikes as Hannibal crosses paths with B.A., a dishonourably discharged Army Ranger who first aids him in rescuing Face and then proves instrumental in helping them liberate their pilot, Murdock, from an Army hospital for a daring escape back to American soil. This opening tells us that Hannibal always has a plan and is highly adaptable, Face is impulsive and often doesn’t understand his commander’s plans, B.A. is a tough-ass brute who hates flying, and that Murdock is absolutely out of his mind…and that these four comprise an almost superhuman Army unit when teamed together.

*When his team is framed, Hannibal uses all his resources to fight to prove their innocence.*

Thus, when the film jumps ahead to eight years, the A-Team has become well-established and well-respected. Essentially a dysfunctional family dynamic (with Hannibal as the patriarch and the others as his unruly “children”), they share the banter of siblings, chastising Murdock’s unpredictable nature but also finding it amusing when off-mission. While stationed in Iraq under the command of Hannibal’s old friend, General Russell Morrison (Gerald McRaney), Hannibal is approached by Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) Special Activities Division operative Vance Burress (Wilson), who operates under the codename “Lynch”, and offered a mission to recover United States treasury plates and over $1 billion from Iraqi insurgents. Though Defence Criminal Investigative Service Captain Charissa Sosa (Biel) tries to warn them off, Hannibal personally insists that they take point over glorified mercenaries Brock Pike (Bloom) and his private security firm, Black Forest, convincing Morrison to approve an elaborate black ops mission into Baghdad. It’s tough to think of a more competent and honourable leader than Hannibal; even after his team is framed for the theft of the plates, Hannibal tries to shoulder responsibility for the unsanctioned mission, but his men are so loyal that they refuse to be tried separately and thus all receive the same punishment. Experience has taught Hannibal to distrust the likes of Lynch and his CIA cronies due to their clandestine nature and he also doesn’t approve of the likes of Pike and Black Forest. Instead, Hannibal believes in the Army, specifically the Ranger division, since they have their boots on the ground and are doing all the fighting (and the dying) in the name of national security. A well-respected and decorated veteran, there’s little Hannibal hasn’t seen and done and he’s been in enough wars to know the value of planning; he meticulously plots out every detail of every engagement and follows the plan to the letter, even having backup plans prepared for the worst case scenario, so he is astonished and appalled when Morrison’s mission goes awry and the country he fought to protect turns against him so readily. Yet, even when dishonourably discharged and incarcerated, Hannibal is always thinking and planning; through his outside contacts and resources, he acquires better intel on Pike’s Arab backer than even Lynch and his entire motivation for throwing in with Lynch is predicated on the assurance that he and his team receive full pardons and their freedom.

*Face strives to live up to Hannibal’s example while Murdock regularly throws caution to the wind.*

While Hannibal is clearly the brains of the group, Face is his charming, charismatic protégé; a fast talker and notorious womaniser, Face is mainly defined by his carefree nature, immaculate good looks, and snarky sense of humour even in the face of his own execution. However, while Face’s arrogance and wise-ass nature border on the insane at times, it’s clearly depicted as a façade; deep down, Face is wracked by insecurity since he admires Hannibal so much and aspires to follow his example but worries that he’s not good enough to formulate plans as intricately as his mentor. Face’s impulsive nature raises Hannibal’s ire, primarily because Hannibal knows his protégé has the potential to be better and because the Colonel places such emphasis on preparation and planning. Face’s womanising ways are also depicted as both an asset and a weakness; it allows him to seduce and charm his way through missions but caused him unexpected pain it comes to his relationship with Sosa, the one woman he ever considered getting serious with before she got scared off by the prospect. Now immune to his charms, Sosa has a contentious relationship with Face, one exacerbated after his actions cause her to be demoted to Lieutenant. While Sosa is determined to track down the A-Team, she’s equally driven to identify and expose the conceited Lynch, who degrades her (and all women, it seems) and tracks her progress to mitigate her interference. Because of this, Face is forced to go off-mission to protect her from Pike and plead his innocence as part of Hannibal’s elaborate plan. She begrudgingly aids Face and the others to expose Lynch and redeem herself in the eyes of her peers and Face sees this as an opportunity to reconnect with her, which opens his eyes to his potential as a leader rather than simply being the point man. If there’s a word to summarise Murdock, it’s definitely “insane”. Whether he’s mentally unstable or simply having a good time is up for debate, but his skills as a pilot are not. Thanks to some physics-defying CGI and bonkers scenarios, Murdock pulls off some crazy stunts in anything from a helicopter to a tank and his unpredictable flying skills are so outrageous that they cause B.A. to develop a fear of flying and often place his team in more danger due to Murdock’s suicidal nature.

*While Murdock is on point, B.A. is hampered by a pacifist angle and Rampage’s inferior acting ability.*

Despite his lunacy, Hannibal believes wholeheartedly in Murdock’s abilities and inspires him to fully commit to the A-Team and their mission, and Murdock is deceptively smart. He easily fools hospital orderlies, press staff, and even border patrol with his uncanny way with languages and assumed personas. While Murdock’s erratic nature makes him a dangerous asset, one just as likely to set his friends on fire for a laugh as he is to rescue them from tight situations, he’s an unparalleled pilot and more than willing to risk his life for the cause, something demonstrated to the fullest when he willingly takes a bullet to the head in the finale. As far as I can tell, the character most different from his television counterpart is B.A.; initially a brave and aggressive former Ranger forged in airborne combat, B.A. is hampered by a crippling fear of flying thanks to Murdock’s insane aerial manoeuvres and becomes a pacifist while in prison. While Rampage certainly looks the part, being a large, tough dude with a bad-ass mohawk and acquitting himself well in his few fight scenes thanks to his MMA background, he’s easily the weakest of the cast. I can’t help but think Ving Rhames or Michael Clarke Duncan would’ve been much better choices for the role as Rampage just doesn’t have the acting chops to stand alongside his peers. B.A. is an extremely loyal and prideful character; he adores his sadly underutilised GMC Vandura but is fully committed to Hannibal’s cause during his time with the A-Team. However, incarceration brought B.A. a clarity he had never known and, by the time he’s freed by his former teammates, he’s reached a state of enlightenment that means he’s willing to help but refuses to kill, thereby robbing B.A. of many of his defining characteristics. B.A. offers a different type of comic relief compared to the blunt Hannibal, slick Face, and madcap Murdock; his street-based slang and attitude makes him an expressive and amusing figure and it is funny seeing him being subdued and coerced into getting back in the air, but the film strangely decides to base much of B.A.’s comedic appeal around his newfound pacifism.

*Lynch and Pike’s efforts to acquire the plates require Hannibal’s meticulous planning to stop.*

The A-Team crafts a narrative that paints regular soldiers as daring men and women who risk their lives for the greater good; any authority figures or shady government types who appear on-base rather than in the thick of it are treated with suspicion and hostility, which extends to both Lynch and Pike. Both Morrison and Hannibal note that Lynch is simply another expendable government stooge who’s not to be trusted, and Hannibal has nothing but contempt for Pike and his mercenaries, who he sees as a “frat boys with guns”. Hannibal and the others are distraught when Morrison is killed before their eyes and Pike is seen destroying the plates and the money, but these threats are waylaid when the A-Team and arrested and dishonourably discharged for violating their orders since Morrison is unable to corroborate their story. The A-Team’s subsequent focus is on avenging themselves against Pike and clearing their names and they are again forced to make a deal with Lynch to facilitate this when Pike tries to sell the plates to an Arab backer. A smug, arrogant pen-pusher, Lynch has no code of honour and no military experience; he’s a man of secrets and subterfuge who operates behind the scenes. Although he agrees to clear their names, he leaves the specifics of Hannibal’s escape to him and can’t be seen to be directly involved with their mission, making him as much of a liability as Sosa, who makes it her mission to track down the A-Team and bring them back in since she’s convinced that they’re in league with Pike. Lynch’s sole motivation is to acquire the plates for the benefit of the CIA, but he secretly plotted with Pike to steal the plates for himself and was double-crossed by the mercenary and never had any intention of honouring his deals with Hannibal. Unlike Lynch, and despite Hannibal’s disrespect, Pike is well trained and capable; he might take shortcuts and be a glorified mercenary, but he knows how to uncuff himself, handle various firearms, and how to approach a combat situation. Thus, while Lynch panics when in conflict and is heavily reliant upon others, Pike is perfectly happy to wield a rocket launcher and get his hands dirty with some gunplay.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Perhaps unsurprisingly, The A-Team is distinctly pro-military. If you’re in the Army or a Ranger then I’d imagine you’d get a lot more out of the film (or maybe not, I can’t speak to the accuracy of the Army’s depiction) but the message is pretty clear: soldiers are to be celebrated and mercenaries like Black Forest and government stooges are not to be trusted. Hannibal’s reputation is so strong he’s able to talk his way onto an Army plane despite being dishonourably discharged and his men follow him out of a deep sense of loyalty, which really sells the bond these men have forged through combat and adversity. For the most part, The A-Team delivers some exhilarating, PG-13 action; there’s a lot of bullets and explosions and stunts but it seems that the filmmakers originally wanted to be a little more risqué. Twice the film uses an “Adios Mike Foxtrot” gag that gets interrupted by big boom-booms and even B.A.’s “Bullshit” is drowned out by a slamming gavel, neither of which are particularly clever methods of censorship and make me wish the lines had been re-dubbed to something more acceptable for the film’s rating. Long-term fans of the TV show may also be somewhat disappointed that the entire film is essentially an origin story and to set up for the status quo of show, where the team were soldiers of fortune rather than simply trying to prove their innocence.

*The action is massively over the top, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun!*

Still, the action is loud, bombastic, and frenetic; it largely harkens back to the 1980’s action films of old, but with a modern flair such as quick cuts and wonky CGI in places. Things kick off well with B.A. slamming his van into fools and Hannibal single-handedly cutting down Tuco’s forces while Face rolls around in flaming tyres. This is followed by a fun, if over the top, aerial escape that sees Murdock avoiding heatseeking missiles by purposely stalling a helicopter in mid-flight and B.A. clinging on for dear life against an obvious blue screen as the crazed pilot fights to restart the chopper and fly the team to their reinforcements across the border. From there, we’re treated to a montage as the team enacts Hannibal’s outrageous plan to steal the plates, which involves Face and Murdock posing as South African reporters to steal cameras and press passes, B.A. constructing a powerful magnet to fit into a camera, and the liberation of batteries and resources from Black Forest to cobble together the kit they need to intercept the convoy carrying the plates. Thanks to Hannibal’s meticulous nature, the plan goes off without a hitch but ends with them being double-crossed and dishonourably discharged; with six months to plan an escape, Hannibal fakes his own death (with a specially poisoned cigar that almost sees him roasted alive), liberates Face from his comfortable prison cell, retrieves B.A. from a prison bus, and literally busts Murdock out of a mental hospital. This leads to easily the most ridiculous (but no less entertaining) sequences of the film where the team are forced to escape from their plane in a tank! Plummeting in freefall, Face engages in a dogfight with some drones before Hannibal directs Murdock to fire some carefully aimed shots that, thanks to a complete disregard for physics, slows their descent and lands them safely in a lake. Thanks to his intel, Hannibal pinpoints an opportunity to reacquire the missing plates; this involves a daring skyscraper heist that sees the Arab tossed out a window and his parachute being snagged in mid-air by Murdock’s chopper and a zip-line gunfight between B.A. and Pike that requires Hannibal’s intervention since B.A. refuses to take a life.

*With Morrisons’s deception revealed, it’s up to Face to plan the team’s payback against Lynch*.

Still, the mission succeeds and Hannibal’s worst suspicions are realised when the Arab is unmasked as a disillusioned and embittered General Morrison in disguise, having faked his death to screw Lynch out of the plates alongside Pike. Fully aware of this, Lynch offers Hannibal his freedom in exchange for killing Morrison, but it’s merely another deception to stall him while he calls in an airstrike on their location. Although Morrison is killed in the attack and Lynch frees Pike from Sosa’s custody to help recover the plates, Hannibal lets Face take point on concocting a double-cross. Knowing that Lynch is listening to Sosa’s phone, the two arrange to hand over Morrison and the plates in return for their pardons, planning to distract and intimidate Lynch using theatricality and Murdock doubling for Morrison, his head hidden and protected by a heavily armoured helmet. This plan brings all the character’s individual personalities and arcs together: Hannibal places his faith in his young protégé, Face steps up with a plan of his own and overcomes his insecurities, B.A. realises that he needs to fight to have his freedom (which culminates in him crushing Pike’s neck to protect Face), and Murdock gets his closest “near-death experience” yet. While the finale is hampered somewhat by some dodgy CGI on the shipping containers, some frantic editing, and chaotic explosions, it’s suitably thrilling and goes exactly to plan. Lynch is completely thrown off by all the theatrics, forcing Pike to take charge with a rocket launcher. With no choice but to get his boots on the ground, Lynch proves relatively competent with his martial arts but is thrown off when “Morrison” stirs to life and ends up exposed and in the custody of another Lynch (Jon Hamm). Despite Sosa’s protestations, the A-Team are also arrested for escaping federal custody; however, a key slipped to Face through a kiss from the re-promoted Sosa allows the team to immediately escape and begin new lives as soldiers of fortune.

The Summary:
I feel like The A-Team doesn’t get talked about a whole lot; it came out at a time when the action stars of the 1980s were returning to cinema screens and team-based, explosive action films were as prominent as smaller scale, intense-action thrillers and the first entries of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, so it’s easy to see how it would’ve slipped under the radar a bit. This is a shame as it’s a pretty enjoyable action romp; the cast (with the exception of Rampage) are all solid and have a lot of chemistry, with a snarky wit laced throughout the script and characters like the smarmy Lynch and arrogant Pike. Even though I don’t rate Rampage as highly as his co-stars, I enjoyed the titular team’s interactions and chemistry; I believe they’re firm friends, almost like family, and it’s fun seeing them bounce off each other. The A-Team really shines in its use of elaborate plans and amusing, enjoyable montages; I like seeing the team use various flimsy disguises, sleight of hand, and subterfuge as much as when they perform death-defying stunts and it’s very engaging seeing Hannibal’s meticulous plans come together. Unfortunately, it is a little too over the top at times; the CGI and ridiculous sequences like the “tank flying” and Murdock’s piloting are almost cartoonish even for a bombastic action movie, but it’s all in good fun and I think it comes together quite nicely in the end. I wonder how long-time fans of the TV series reacted to the film but, as a lover of many of these actors and the action genre, there’s more than enough here to keep me coming back for more. It’s a shame we didn’t get to see a sequel that was maybe more in-line with the show, but that doesn’t diminish the appeal of The A-Team and I’d say it’s definitely worth a re-watch if you’ve previously disregarded it.

My Rating:

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy The A-Team? Were you a fan of the TV show and, if so, how do you feel the film holds up compared to it? Which of the team was your favourite and what did you think to the cast, specifically Rampage? Did you enjoy the over the top action sequences or was it a little too much for you? Would you have liked to see a sequel or a revival of The A-Team? How are you celebrating Liam Neeson’s birthday and what is your favourite Liam Neeson film? Whatever your thoughts, feel free leave them below or drop a comment on my social media and check out my reviews of other Liam Neeson films across the site.

Movie Night [RoboCop Day]: RoboCop 3

03/06/202403/06/2025Dr. K7 Comments

To celebrate the release of the dismal RoboCop (Padilha, 2014) on home media, June 3^rd was declared “RoboCop Day” in the city of Detroit. While that movie wasn’t too impressive and had nothing on the original RoboCop (Verhoeven, 1987), this does give us the perfect excuse to talk, and celebrate, all things RoboCop on a specific day each year.

Released: 5 November 1993
Director: Fred Dekker
Distributor: Orion Pictures / Columbia Pictures
Budget: $22 million
Stars: Robert Burke, John Castle, Remy Ryan, Bruce Locke, CCH Pounder, Jill Hennessy, and Nancy Allen

The Plot:
Cyborg law enforcer RoboCop (Burke) is torn between upholding his pre-programmed directives and assisting desperate civilians when Paul McDaggett (Castle) and his violent militia aggressively evict people on behalf of Omni Consumer Products (OCP) to begin construction of Delta City.

The Background:
In 1987, director Paul Verhoeven turned Edward Neumeier and Michael Miner’s satirical take on 1980s commercialisation and media into RoboCop. A modest critical and commercial hit, RoboCop was followed by a sequel in 1990. Unfortunately, not only was Frank Miller’s script judged “unfilmable” (though many aspects were later repurposed into a comic book and this third entry), but Irvin Kershner’s RoboCop 2 was met with mixed reviews and a reduced box office. Miller returned to write the third film and was again frustrated by the lack of influence he had on the production; he concluded that the only way to circumvent this was to become a director. Although RoboCop’s supporting cast returned for the third film (despite some reservations), star Peter Weller declined to appear in favour of joining the cast of Naked Lunch (Cronenberg, 1991). He was replaced by Robert Burke, who struggled with the impressive Robo-Suit since he was taller than his predecessor and the costume wasn’t altered to accommodate this. Although RoboCop 3 was completed by 1992, the film’s release was delayed almost an entire year due to Orion Pictures going bankrupt and to increase its odds at the box office. Consequently, not only was the plot revealed by the tie-in videogame ahead of schedule, RoboCop 3 also failed to reach $50 million at the box office. RoboCop 3 was also subjected to scathing reviews; critics targeted the film’s tone, derivative plot, and mindless narrative, and very few have anything positive to say about this toned-down entry in the series. Ironically, RoboCop continued to be marketed as a family-friendly franchise going forward and it would take over five years for anything even remotely resembling the violent satire of the original to be evoked in a new production.

The Review:
It goes without saying that RoboCop has earned its place as a classic sci-fi action flick; it’s perfect blend of social satire, gory violence, and endlessly entertaining action was expertly balanced with some top-notch special effects and a poignant message about humanity and identity. I might be alone in thinking this, but RoboCop 2 remains an under-rated entry in the franchise for me; sure, it regresses RoboCop’s character a bit and retreads some of the same narrative beats, but it’s still got that same tongue-in-cheek sense of humour and some impressive practical effects make it well worth a re-evaluation. Since both films were such a big part of my childhood, I remember being excited for a third entry and things get off to a decent enough start in RoboCop 3. Detroit is worse than ever now that OCP has finally started breaking ground on Delta City, with eviction notices being served to the poorest and most destitute areas of the city like Cadillac Heights, demolition crews flooding the streets with the homeless, and fascist ex-military Urban Rehabilitators (or “Rehabs”) forcing people from the city or simply out-right executing them.

*Sporting some new toys, RoboCop protects the innocent despite being surprisingly fragile here.*

When we’re first introduced to RoboCop, we’re once again back to square one. While RoboCop still retains some aspects of his former personality and exhibits human compulsions such as loyalty and independence, he’s still bound by his four Prime Directives and subject to the whims of his creators. He’s packing some new toys this time around, most prominently his new arm cannon that lets him blast perps with a machine gun, fire rockets, and blast out a flamethrower, but he later also makes use of a prototype flight pack that also doubles as a recharge point for him. All these bells and whistles are great, but they don’t make up for the fact that Peter Weller has been replaced by the far less capable Robert Burke. Burke does a decent job emulating Weller’s performance but it’s just not the same, especially in his stilted delivery. While RoboCop is tended to by newcomer Doctor Marie Lazarus (Hennessy), his independence riles up the OCP’s newest representative, Jeffrey Fleck (Bradley Whitford), a leering, slimy corporate stooge who’s so frustrated by RoboCop’s humanity that he orders his emotions be circumvented with a special chip. Luckily, Dr. Lazarus recognises that RoboCop’s instincts and Murphy’s lingering personality are essential to the cyborg’s humanity and destroys the chip, allowing RoboCop to continue his duties. This does, however, bring him into further conflict with OCP’s more totalitarian methods; the Rehabs conflict with RoboCop’s Prime Directives but, in the end, his morals and humanity win out and he chooses to defend the helpless and homeless from McDaggett, a choice that leaves him severely damaged and branded a murderous fugitive by OCP’s PR team. RoboCop ends up in a hell of a state; a single blast from McDaggett’s grenade launcher is enough to almost do him in and leaves him in the struggling hands of the city’s destitute, who are led by feisty and outspoken Bertha (Pounder).

*Although his partner dies, RoboCop is supported by some new allies, including an affectionate little girl.*

Things don’t go so well for Robo’s long-time friend and partner, Anne Lewis (Allen). Both Dr. Lazarus and Lewis care for RoboCop; they’re the closest things he has to friends and can tell that he’s clearly conflicted regarding OCP’s “urban rehabilitation” project, which brings up painful memories of his former wife and child. Although she’s able to hold her own against the “splatter punks” at the start of the film, Lewis makes the rookie mistake of forgetting her body armour when she rushes to help RoboCop track down the resistance. Out of loyalty to her partner and seeing the state of the displaced residents of Cadillac Heights, Lewis joins RoboCop in opposing McDaggett and is summarily gunned down for her troubles, dying in RoboCop’s arms. Though he inexplicably forgets this promise to avenge her, RoboCop immediately storms the Rehab base after being repaired by Dr. Lazarus, unopposed by Sergeant Warren Reed (Robert DoQui) and his fellow officers despite the warrant for his arrest, to confront McDaggett, only to learn that Coontz (Stephen Root), a disgruntled member of Bertha’s resistance, has sold them out to McDaggett. RoboCop arrives too late to help, leaving Bertha and most of her followers dead, and both Dr. Lazarus and young orphan girl Nikko Halloran (Ryan) taken as hostages. Yes, inexplicably RoboCop, the all-action cyborg who made his name blasting would-be rapists in the dick, is saddled with a bright-eyed kid who’s conveniently a genius hacker capable of reprogramming an Enforcement Droid-209 (ED-209) and who helps RoboCop rekindle his paternal instincts. After being separated from her parents, who are subsequently executed, Nikko is taken in by Bertha and the resistance and encourages them to shelter RoboCop after he’s damaged defending them. Although they’re woefully under-equipped, outgunned, and forced to hide out in the sewers, the resistance is surprisingly capable; they boobytrap manholes to keep out unwanted visitors, use gadgets to change traffic lights and cover their escape, and it only takes about four of them to carry RoboCop into their hidden base whereas it took a dozen or so men in the last film. Although Nikko is a tech-savvy Robo fan and Moreno (Daniel von Bargen) repairs RoboCop’s body work, the resistance have no hope of repairing the cyborg so Nikko goes to Dr. Lazarus for help.

*Desperate to get Delta City underway, the CEO turns to the ruthless McDaggett and the Kanemitsu Corporation.*

Although OCP are making major progress preparing Detroit for aggressive renovation, the malevolent company is deep in the red; close to bankruptcy and being bought out by the Japan-based Kanemitsu Corporation, the new OCP Chief Executive Officer (CEO) (Rip Torn) and returning aide Donald Johnson (Felton Perry) have no choice but to rely on McDaggett and his Rehabs. Thanks to OCP controlling the media, the Rehabs are sold as a gentle, peacekeeping force who have people’s best interest at heart but the truth couldn’t be more different. McDaggett and his mercenaries are cruel and violent and tear through Cadillac Heights like a bull in a China shop. McDaggett is easily the best part of the film, chewing the scenery at every opportunity, calling everybody “chum” with a snarky sneer, ruthlessly waging war against the destitute civilians, and exhibiting an open prejudice against RoboCop and the idea of him being assigned to the Rehabs. When Nikko broadcasts the truth about McDaggett to the world, OCP’s stock plunges and, unwilling to shoulder the blame or listen to the CEO’s blustering threats, McDaggett plots to recruit the city’s police force in stamping out the resistance once and for all. However, when Reed and the other cops give up their badges and pensions rather than compromise their moral integrity, McDaggett is just as happy to arm the splatter punks, leading to an all-out war on the streets pitting the cops and the resistance against McDaggett’s forces. Unable to make good on their debts and promises, OCP lose all favour with the Kanemitsu Corporation, who send their unnervingly human “Otomo” androids (Locke) to make up for the CEO’s blunders. As you might expect from Japanese-manufactured product, the Otomos are far more versatile and capable than RoboCop, who looks like a tinker toy in comparison. Although silent and stoic, the Otomos are not only more outwardly human (one even smokes!) but they’re more agile, adaptable, and mobile, meaning they’re easily able to best RoboCop in combat and re-endanger his life with just a few blows and only losing out to him due to Robo packing superior firepower.

The Nitty-Gritty:
RoboCop 3 once again retreads the same ground as the last two movies when it comes to RoboCop’s story arc. Still lacking the fully human personality he fought so hard to regain at the end of the first film, RoboCop is again portrayed as struggling to discover and showcase his humanity due to his stringent programming and directives. Although it’s been very well established that he’s just as human as he is a machine, and everyone in the precinct openly and affectionately refers to him as “Murphy”, RoboCop’s emotions are again questioned by OCP, who seek to suppress them to make him a cold, calculating machine. More than ever before, RoboCop openly defies his creators despite the conflict this causes his system; perhaps it’s his defiance of Directive Four (“Never oppose an OCP officer”) which explains why RoboCop is so damn weak in this film. It seems he’s constantly on the brink of death and is easily disabled by shots he would previously shrug off, though this frustrating element does add to his vulnerability as a character. This is further emphasised in his empathy for the resistance, particularly Nikko, who forms a fast bond with RoboCop out of sheer awe (she is a proper techno-geek, after all) and he awkwardly rediscovers his former paternal instincts through his relationship with her. Again, it ties into an exploration of RoboCop’s vulnerable humanity (and is certainly less questionable that the weird sequence where Dr Lazarus purges RoboCop’s Prime Directives…again…and it seems to imply he has romantic feelings for the women in his life) but it just doesn’t fit the tone of the franchise. Maybe the filmmakers wanted to appeal to the little kids who had inexplicably latched onto the character, maybe they wanted to emulate Terminator 2: Judgment Day (Cameron, 1991) but, whatever their reasons, all they ended up doing was subjecting audiences to an annoying little brat who’s too smart for her own good.

*Despite some ambitious ideas,* RoboCop 3 fails to impress with its toothless violence and weak effects.

And it’s a shame as RoboCop 3 has a few redeemable elements to it. Basil Poledouris returns with his rousing score and the suit looks better than ever, especially RoboCop’s fancy new arm attachment that he sadly doesn’t use often enough (probably because it’s ridiculously overpowered and that doesn’t fit the theme of the movie for fragile old RoboCop). The city is even more dangerous and depressing as ever; described as a “warzone”, riots and violence run rampant from all sides, leading to the police department and oppressed citizens joining forces to fight back against the tyrannical OCP. While the film definitely veers more towards family friendly content, RoboCop 3 continues to be violent and full of social satire; in this case, it’s a commentary on how big corporations can control the media to twist the narrative in their favour and the juxtaposition of the Rehabs’ squeaky-clean public face with the brutal reality of their actions. This is best evidenced not just in the returning Media Break sections but also in the amusing animated advertisement for “Johnny Rehab” apparel that seems to be a commentary on R-rated movies like RoboCop being sold to children as toys. Although ED-209 makes a reappearance here, it’s little more than a cameo that further demeans the unreliable ‘droid and we’re denied a rematch between it and RoboCop. Thanks to spending most of the movie close to death, RoboCop can’t simply gun down his enemies like usual, meaning anticipation is high for his battle against Otomo. Unfortunately, as great and under-rated as Bruce Locke is, this fight is hampered by the slow, sluggish RoboCop, who lacks the reflexes and range of movement necessary to match his faster, more competent rival. Luckily for RoboCop, the Otomos prove as weak as he is in this movie and are easily dispatched, but these fights are definitely a far cry from the cyborg-on-cyborg action from the aforementioned Terminator 2. RoboCop 3 tries to make up for it with RoboCop’s new jet-pack attachment, which allows him to swoop in and save the day in the final act, but sadly this only appears very briefly and the composite effect used to bring it to the screen is pretty poor, which is a shame considering how cool the idea of a flying RoboCop is and how good the fire stunt on RoboCop was in the opening scenes.

*After aiding his allies, RoboCop rescues his friends and OCP is finally brought to its knees.*

After being slandered in the media, RoboCop is branded a fugitive, allowing McDaggett to fulfil his ambition of destroying the cyborg officer, which both he and the CEO believes will dishearten the resistance and allow them to sweep through Cadillac Heights and salvage their reputation. When Johnson suggests recruiting the city’s cops to join the effort, Reed and the others walk out and add their numbers to the resistance, co-ordinating the rag-tag rebels in standing against the Rehabs and the crazed splatter punks. Although RoboCop loses his chance at nailing McDaggett following a comical car chase in a pimped out lowrider, McDaggatt gets the last laugh by massacring the resistance base and even betrays the CEO after colluding with Kanemitsu (Mako) to level Cadillac Heights to make room for their own designs for the city. After barely besting Otomo and levelling the playing field for the cops and resistance, RoboCop storms into the OCP tower to confront McDaggett. Though two Otomos attack him, Nikko is able to reprogram the two androids into targeting each other using her magic laptop. Despite him having gone “war wacky” and craving all-out conflict, McDaggett is incensed by this as the Otomos are rigged to self-destruct, spelling doom for everyone in the tower. Luckily, RoboCop latches onto his jet-pack and flies Dr. Lazarus and Nikko to safety, leaving McDaggett and everyone in the building to perish in the blast. In the aftermath, a humbled Kanemitsu bows to RoboCop out of respect and summarily fires the CEO for his incompetence since OCP’s stock is in the toilet and RoboCop resolves to return to duty policing the streets, now once again free from his restrictive Prime Directives and able to think for himself.

The Summary:
How the mighty have fallen! RoboCop 3 is such a massive disappointment because it comes so close to being a halfway decent entry in the franchise but fumbles its execution in almost every way possible. The score is back, the suit still looks amazing, and I really enjoy RoboCop’s new toys and gadgets, but the man in the suit is an uninspiring void who tries far too hard to emulate Peter Weller’s incomparable performance rather than putting his own stamp on the iconic cyborg. I enjoy the central premise of the film, which sees a desperate OCP using all their resources (and brutal violence) to speed up their development plans for Detroit, but any intrigue this plot may have is quashed by some strange attempts at humour. RoboCop 3 feels like a pale imitation of the previous films; it tries to be comparably violent but it’s a toothless execution, and any attempts at satire and social commentary land flat as it feels like everyone’s just phoning it in. It’s a shame as Lewis’s death is actually quite emotional, but the new cast just isn’t as inspiring or memorable; Nikko, especially, stands out as a particularly grating inclusion, one that showed just how far the franchise had fallen into impotency since the uncompromising first film. There is some decent action and special effects sequences, but they’re juxtaposed with RoboCop’s clunky ineffectiveness in a straight-up fight and some awful composite effects that really have me longing for the stop-motion techniques of the last two films. One saving grace is John Castle, who really hams it up as the despicable McDaggett, but even his performance can’t excuse Rip Torn’s bombastic turn as the CEO, which lacks any of the subtlety we saw from previous OCP executives. Ultimately, RoboCop 3 is a film geared more towards kids and young teenagers, those who aren’t quite old enough to watch the first two films but want to dip their toe in the franchise. Even so, I’d recommend simply waiting until they’re old enough to watch the first movie, or bite the bullet and show them that film ahead of time, and just skip this one completely as there’s very little on offer here beyond RoboCop’s new toys.

My Rating:

Terrible

Did you enjoy RoboCop 3? Were you disappointed by the more toothless approach the film took? What did you think to RoboCop opposing his creators to defend the city’s oppressed citizens? Were you also annoyed to see him partner with a child? What did you think to the Otomos and RoboCop’s new toys? Which RoboCop movie is your favourite? How are you celebrating RoboCop Day today? Whatever you think about RoboCop 3, feel free to drop your thoughts below or leave a comment on my social media and be sure to check out my other RoboCop content!

Movie Night [Dinosaur Day]: Jurassic Park III

01/06/202401/06/2025Dr. K8 Comments

Sixty-five million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. These massive beasts existed for about 180 million years and came in all shapes and sizes, before finally going extinct following a cataclysmic event that forever changed our world and rendered these creatures mere fossils to be discovered and studied. Fittingly, “Dinosaur Day” is actually celebrated twice a year, giving dino fans the world over ample opportunities to pay homage to this near-mythical titans.

Released: 18 July 2001
Director: Joe Johnston
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $93 million
Stars: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Trevor Morgan, Alessandro Nivola, and Laura Dern

The Plot:
When Paul (Macy) and Amanda Kirby’s (Leoni) son, Eric (Morgan), is stranded on Isla Sorna, the estranged couple enlist Doctor Alan Grant (Neill) to help them brave the genetically resurrected dinosaurs that reside there and rescue him.

The Background:
In 1993, legendary director Steven Spielberg teamed up with special effects wizards Stan Winston, Phil Tippett, and Dennis Muren to turn Michael Crichton’s bestselling Jurassic Park (ibid, 1990) into a pioneering blockbuster. Despite grossing over $1.030 billion at the box office and overwhelmingly positive reviews, both Crichton and Spielberg were reluctant to work on sequel. Ultimately, while The Lost World: Jurassic Park (ibid, 1997) broke box office records, it was met with mixed reviews and even Spielberg believed it failed to match expectations. Thus, he passed the director’s chair to his friend Joe Johnston since he felt the series needed fresh blood behind the camera. Initial ideas to have Dr. Alan Grant stranded on a dinosaur-infested island were scrapped, as was a sequence involving a motorcycle chase against a pack of Velociraptors, but the idea of characters being marooned on the island continued to persist. Star Sam Neill eagerly signed on, believing he could improve on his original performance, and Stan Winston and Industrial Light & Magic returned to provide the dinosaur effects. Various versions of the film’s newest dinosaur, the Spinosaurus, were created; it was purposely chosen as a more horrifying counterpart to the returning Tyrannosaurs rex and was so powerful that it tore the animatronic T. rex’s head off! Although Spielberg afforded Johnston complete creative freedom, he had a chair reserved for him on set and insisted that Pteranodons were included after the were cut from the last two films. With a box office gross just shy of $370 million, Jurassic Park III became the lowest-grossing film in the franchise and was subjected to near unanimous negative reviews that criticised the redundant narrative, muddled tone, and ridiculous moments. In time, Jurassic Park III has been re-evaluated and come to be regarded as the black sheep of the franchise, but this was far from the end for the series, which made a dramatic comeback in 2015 that (more or less) successfully revived the franchise.

The Review:
I think a lot of us take for granted just how big Jurassic Park was when it first released; undeniably, the film redefined what a modern blockbuster could be and brought cutting-edge CGI effects and animatronics to the forefront of cinema, to say nothing of the wave of “Dinomania” it unleashed. Although I have no love for the book or its literary follow-up, I, like pretty much my entire generation, was captivated by Jurassic Park and much of this enthusiasm meant that I was overly generous towards the sequel movie for the longest time. It made sense: I liked Jurassic Park, I liked Jeff Goldblum, so of course I had to like The Lost World. Unfortunately, time has not been kind to The Lost World, which fumbled in areas where the first film succeeded, but I definitely think that it pretty much tapped out the appeal and reach of the concept, especially once it showed dinosaurs in the outside world. All this is to say that I’ve always been disappointed by Jurassic Park III; sure, it features some new dinosaurs and even recycles sequences from the book into its content, but there’s a reason why it’s the shortest and most universally disliked of the franchise. In a word, the film is just unnecessary, and offers very little to entice fans of the original back, to the point where you may as well just watch Jurassic Park three times and you’d probably get more enjoyment than suffering through the surprisingly disappointing follow-ups.

*Grant is horrified to find he’s been duped into* *fighting off his beloved dinosaurs once again.*

The first indication that we’re simply retreading old ground is that the film immediately returns to Isla Sorna and the majority of it takes place in this setting. It makes sense; the unfamiliarity of an isolated island adds to the wonder and danger of the franchise, but we’d seen everything this setting could offer in the last two movies and Jurassic Park III really could’ve done with trying something different, especially after The Lost World established that dinosaurs were basically free to roam as they desired, within their capabilities. One way Jurassic Park III attempts to stand out is by addressing the scientific inaccuracies in the dinosaurs; even though the first film did cover this quite conclusively, Grant makes a point to clearly spell out that the island’s genetically-engineered dinosaurs were “theme park monsters” and that the real science is found in fossils, a sentiment that remains true today. However, the dinosaurs were real enough to haunt not only Grant’s scientific career but also his nightmares. While he remains awestruck at having seen close approximations to dinosaurs up close and personal, he has no desire to ever return to the island, much less encounter them again. But, as ever, he can’t turn down the chance to inject some serious cash into his Velociraptor research when Paul Kirby comes asking for his expertise in taking him and his wife on a tour of the island. Of course, this is all a ruse; the couple have no money to offer him and have simply tricked him into helping them navigate the island’s dangers to rescue their son, but Grant’s experience is immediately hampered by the fact that he’s never actually been to Isla Sorna before, to say nothing of the Kirbys’ foolishness when it comes to heeding Grant’s advice and warnings about the local wildlife.

*Unlike their son, the Kirbys are woefully incompetent and in way over their heads.*

Despite Paul being little more than a painter and decorator, he and his estranged wife somehow pull together the funds not just to fly to Isla Sorna, but to hire some unscrupulous characters to transport them and stave off the ravenous dinosaurs with some serious firepower. However, these would-be mercenaries prove as ill-equipped as the Kirbys, who are immediately in over their heads and realise that they’ve vastly underestimated the dangers of the island. It doesn’t help that Amanda is painfully idiotic; not only does she yell into a megaphone as soon as they land but she, more than any of the other characters, constantly ignores or disregards Grant’s expertise, putting herself and the others in danger when the carnivores come sniffing around for their next meal. Grant is incensed to learn the truth and even more perturbed when the survivors are stranded after the Spinosaurus destroys their plane and devours their satellite phone, but even then his main concern is reaching the safety of the coast rather than actively searching for the couple’s lost son, Eric (indeed, it’s heavily implied that Grant thinks the boy is dead). Following a Velociraptor attack, Grant is separated from the couple but runs across Eric, who has done a decent job of surviving by himself thanks to his adaptability, knowledge of dinosaurs from Grant’s research, and resources afforded by InGen’s abandoned facilities. Grant, now far more comfortable with children thanks to his experiences in the first film and his close relationship with former flame Doctor Ellie Sattler’s (Dern) infant son Charlie (Blake Bryan), is very impressed by Eric’s survival instincts over the last eight weeks. Eric uses tear gas and even Tyrannosaurs rex urine to keep the dinosaurs at bay but he’s more upset at the prospect of his estranged parents trying to work together than he is by the locals. However, their shared trauma and determination to find Eric brings the two closer together but their joy at being reunited is cut short when they’re separated by a massive fence, with the Spinosaurus hot on their heels, and driven into the dilapidated aviary. Once he’s back with his parents, Eric reverts back to being a scared kid and fades into the background; he consoles Grant over the apparent loss of his assistant, Billy Brennan (Nivola), but basically just becomes another screaming would-be meal for the Spinosaurus.

*Trumping any other dinosaur, the* Spinosaurus *obliterates every threat and constantly dogs the humans.*

As ever, the humans are under constant threat from the genetically-recreated dinosaurs; while there’s a sense of wonderment about herbivores like the Corythosaurus and Parasaurolophus, the Velociraptors remain a persistent danger to the group. Grant continues to be enamoured with the pack hunters, which now sport rudimentary feathers and an intelligence beyond even his expectations as they call to each other, signal for help, and even use live, injured humans as bait to lure in other victims. This time around, the Velociraptor threat is only escalated thanks to Billy secretly stealing their eggs to sell on the black market to help fund Grant’s research, which causes the creatures to furiously hunt them throughout. For the first time, winged dinosaurs play a key role in the events of the franchise; in one of Jurassic Park III’s better sequences, one ripped right out of the first book, the group stumble into the twisted, rusted remains of a Pteranodon aviary and the giant, bat-like creatures briefly carry Eric off to their young before Billy successfully rescues him in what appears to be redemptive act of self-sacrifice but which the would-be black marketeer inexplicably survives. The franchise’s most recognisable dinosaur and brand mascot, the Tyrannosaurs rex, also reappears but, sadly, it’s little more than a cameo; the T. rex is primarily here to show off the bigger, badder Spinosaurus, which not only makes an immediate impression by splattering Cooper (John Diehl) all over the Kirbys’ plane but easily bests the T. rex and snaps its neck in a startling show of power. Unfortunately, this means that we’re denied a proper battle between the two or a suitable opponent to slay or challenge the Spinosaurus in the finale, though the Spinosaurus’ threat lingers over the entirety of the film and recalls the constant sense of dread the characters faced from the T. rex in the first. Far larger, with a crocodile-like jaw and massive talon-like claws, the Spinosaurus is Isla Sorna’s undisputed apex predator, unhindered by any weaknesses and capable of fending off any obstacle, swimming through water, and even…somehow…sneaking up on its prey despite not only its massive size but the constant ringing of the satellite phone in its stomach!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Jurassic Park III tries so hard to emulate the epic wonder of the first film but there’s just not enough material left to support it. John Williams’ sweeping, iconic theme still permeates the picture despite him being replaced by composer Don Davis, and the awesome sight of seeing dinosaurs brought to life onscreen remains, but it’s undeniable that it’s just not as impressive as it was the first time around. These issues are only compounded by some absolutely detestable characters; Paul and Amanda Kirby are clueless, deceitful morons who are difficult to root for, especially in the case of the foolhardy Amanda, whose desperate need to rescue her son costs the lives of three other people and endangers them all on numerous occasions. Téa Leoni is easily the worst part of this film; she’s so wooden and rigid and just mumbles her way through the narrative, dragging every scene down and making Amanda a thoroughly unlikeable and moronic character. Paul is a spineless fool who’s in way over his head and I can absolutely understand Grant’s exasperation at being surrounded by such ridiculous characters, and his admiration for Eric at somehow breaking the chain and being a smart and capable young boy. Billy’s side plot where he plans to sell the Velociraptor eggs is an interesting wrinkle, but it really doesn’t go anywhere and is basically a scaled down version of the plot seen in The Lost World, plus it’s difficult to really care about Billy’s betrayal of his mentor or his apparent death because about he only thing Billy has going for him before his greed is revealed is that he has a “lucky backpack”.

*Somehow, the effects have worsened and, with some exceptions, everything seems rushed and lazy.*

As ever, the main selling point is the dinosaurs. While, for the most part, they still look as amazing as ever, it’s clear that the quality of the animatronics and CGI have taken a hit despite Jurassic Park II having the highest budget of the original trilogy. The animatronic dinosaurs, especially, look far less realistic than before; it’s almost as if the filmmakers got lazy or rushed the process, coasting on the influential effects of the first film and putting in less effort, with the brief appearance by the Ceratosaurus being a particularly poor effect, but a lot of the CGI is surprisingly awful. I can’t help but be disappointed at how unconvincing the ’raptor puppets are this time around; it might not have been so bad if the film didn’t choose to explore the depths of Grant’s trauma by having him experience a nightmare involving a talking ’raptor (though, admittedly, I do find this scene hilarious!) A ’raptor does make an impression when the characters are exploring the ruins of an InGen facility, chasing them through the dark corridors, scaling cage walls to reach its prey and even signalling for help, much to Grant’s horror and amazement, though this does result in a pretty lacklustre chase through a herd of herbivores that is, again, a pale imitation of the first film. Although the Spinosaurus often also looks cartoonish and its battle with the T. rex is disappointingly brief, it is truly horrifying. Clearly chosen for its fearsome appearance and for looming over even the T. rex with an ominous poise, the Spinosaurus is a nightmarish creature that really pushes Jurassic Park III into monster movie territory as it glares at its prey and stalks them with vicious purpose. Indeed, Jurassic Park III’s better moments are when it leans into horror; the Pteranodon attack is especially evocative of this, with the massive prehistoric bird/lizards looming and flapping through the mist like something out of a slasher movie, to say nothing of the terrifying way the Spinosaurus cuts through the water in the dead of night during a torrential downpour. Although the Jurassic Park films have often strived to be more than monster movies, these more terrifying and intense sequences are a definite highlight and demonstrate that there was still some gas left in the tank for the franchise, it was just sadly hampered by an overall poor execution.

*After inexplicably scaring off* Spiney and placating the ‘raptors, the survivors are saved by the Navy!

After narrowly escaping the Pteranodons, the survivors finally manage to retrieve Paul’s annoying satellite phone from a pile of Spinosaurus excrement (again evoking imagery from the first film) and Grant makes a frantic call for help to Ellie. The Spinosaurus attacks, however, while the group is sailing on a barge; since we were denied a proper T. rex vs Spinosaurus showdown, though, the franchise’s newest, most dangerous predator yet is simply scared off after Grant ignites some oil with a flare gun, making for a painfully unsatisfying final showdown with the vicious carnivore. Instead, as ever, Jurassic Park III falls back on the Velociraptors for one last scare; having tracked the humans and the eggs Billy stole, the Velociraptors corner them on the beach and appear ready to strike; however, Grant manages to confuse the pack by randomly blowing into a replica ’raptor larynx. Just then, the film simply comes to an end when Ellie was somehow not only able to understand that Grant was on the island but was also able to get the US Navy to storm the beach for a rescue, scaring off the ’raptors, who reclaim their eggs and run into the jungle. Just like in the first movie, Grant and the other survivors (even, inexplicably, Billy) are airlifted to safety and left to contemplate the beauty, awe, and danger of the long-extinct dinosaurs, but again this is simply the same ending as in Jurassic Park but with an additional bit of family drama slapped on top of it! The tension and horror of the island rekindles the relationship between the Kirbys, who are overjoyed to be reunited with their son, who is equally pleased to see his parents finally getting along, and all it took was a few lives and the threat of mortal danger to bring them back together. Although he isn’t going to get the funding he was promised, it seems as though Grant is content to have faced his fears, though I would argue that his experiences on Isla Sorna only galvanised his dislike for InGen’s genetically-engineered monstrosities.

The Summary:
It’s really hard to rate Jurassic Park II very high as the entire film just feels like an unnecessary cash-grab, one final desperate attempt to wring the life out of a franchise that, at the time, really only had enough gas for two movies (and even then, the second one was a questionable effort). Certainly, there’s enough material in Michael Crichton’s books and the prehistoric to be reconfigured into another movie, but Jurassic Park III plays things way too safe. It’s just a shorter, less fanciful, and far less thrilling retread of the first film: Grant is a grouchy traditionalist forced to adapt to a dangerous situation, he’s forced to bond and work alongside a kid, there are ill-prepared morons running around just looking to get eaten, and there’s a monstrous prehistoric predator stomping around looking to snap everybody up. Even the sub-plot about stealing the ’raptor eggs is half-baked and familiar, and the effects somehow look worse than in the original Jurassic Park despite the higher budget and what I would assume would be the refinement of those original techniques. Sam Neill puts in a great performance but even he can’t save this grating cast; Téa Leoni is always dreadful, and William H. Macy just lacks the charisma to be all that compelling. I did enjoy the sadly underutilised Pteranodons and the monstrous Spinosaurus, but the filmmakers really dropped the ball by not having a longer, more brutal fight scene between ol’ Spiney and the T. rex. Thankfully, the revived entries would correct this, and many of Jurassic Park III’s mistakes, but that doesn’t help wash the sour taste of this ill-conceived, rushed, and lazy entry out of the mouth. Just watch the first one again and then jump to the fourth, it’s the best way.

My Rating:

Terrible

Are you a fan of Jurassic Park III? Do you think I’ve judged the film too harshly and that there are actually some positives to be found here? Were you happy to see Dr. Alan Grant return and what did you think to the Kirbys? What did you think to the Spinosaurus and would you have liked to see a more competitive fight between it and the T. rex? Do you agree that the film was too lazy and that the concept was tapped out by this point? Which of Jurassic Park’s sequels is your favourite or do you consider the first one to be the best? How are you celebrating Dinosaur Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Jurassic Park III, and dinosaurs in general, leave them below or drop a comment on my social media.

Movie Night [Turtle Tuesday]: TMNT

14/05/202421/05/2024Dr. K5 Comments

The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. Even now, the TMNT continue to be an influential and popular commodity, proving that some fads don’t die out…they just get stronger!

Released: 23 March 2007
Director: Kevin Munroe
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures / The Weinstein Company
Budget: $34 million
Stars: James Arnold Taylor, Nolan North, Mikey Kelley, Mitchell Whitfield, Patrick Stewart, Zhang Ziyi, and Mako Iwamatsu/Greg Baldwin

The Plot:
Since defeating Oroku Saki/The Shredder, the TMNT have drifted apart; leader Leonardo (Taylor) is training in Central America and hot-headed Raphael (North) is secretly busting heads as the masked vigilante the Nightwatcher. However, the brothers are forced to come together again when thirteen mythical creatures rampage through New York City as part of an ancient ritual.

The Background:
Created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird as a violent pastiche of comic book tropes, the TMNT were catapulted to mainstream success by the unbelievably popular 1987 cartoon. Perhaps naturally, this success led to a live-action feature film. Hiwey, although Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Barron, 1990) proved to be a technically impressive financial success and the under-rated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (Pressman, 1991) did well despite comparatively mixed reviews, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (Gillard, 1993) broke the cycle and both bombed at the box office and was widely derided as one of the lowest points in the franchise. After plans for a fourth film were scrapped and an attempt to produce an all-CGI revival in early-2000 fell through, production on a new TMNT project finally got underway after fifteen years away from cinema screens. The decision to go all-CGI was based on a desire to tell a more surreal story and the escalating budgets of the previous films. Director Kevin Munroe aimed to tell a darker story to appeal to a more mature audience while still staying true to the core appeal of the characters and the continuity established by the previous films. The animation was handled by Imagi Animation Studios, who looked to film noir and Hong Kong action movies to create the film’s visual style, and the movie was dedicated to screen legend Mako after he sadly died shortly after completing his work on the film. With a box office of $95.6 million, TMNT became the second-highest-grossing movie in the franchise but was met with largely negative reviews; critics questioned the overly serious tone, the focus on style over tangible substance, and the nonsensical plot, though the visual style was praised. Although accompanied by a five-issue prequel comic and a mediocre videogame tie-in, plans for a sequel were ultimately scrapped due to TMNT’s poor reception and the later collapse of Imagi Animation Studios, resulting in a completely unrelated live-action/CGI hybrid reboot in 2014 before returning to animation in 2023.

The Review:
It’s always surprising to me how a premise as bonkers as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles finds ways to go even further out there with its content and stories. As early as their initial issues, the TMNT were battling robots, travelling across the galaxy, and encountering strange semi-cybernetic alien lifeforms. As much as I prefer the street-level adventures of the TMNT, I have enjoyed their more bizarre escapades and enemies, which have come from different dimensions, timelines, and worlds and have long expanded the TMNT’s world beyond simply battling ninjas on the streets of New York City. However, for the most part, the TMNT’s cinematic adventures tend to be more grounded; this, as much as anything, made Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle III stand out as quite the anomaly, but TMNT also offers up a surreal plot for the mutant brothers, though the differences between the two can be chalked up to their execution and tone. It helps that TMNT opens with a narration from the always-awesome Laurence Fishburne that not only positions this film into the loose canon of the existing movies (Splinter’s (Iwamatsu/Baldwin) trophy shelf also reinforces this, containing mementos from the previous films, even if the TMNT’s characters are slightly different) but also gives some insight into the legend of warlord Yaotl. Three thousand years ago, the warrior king and his brotherhood carved a path of destruction and conquest across the globe that culminated in him opening a portal into a parallel universe to gain immortality but at the cost of his generals being turned to stone and thirteen immortal monsters being unleashed from the rift, eventually serving as the inspiration for famous mythical monsters over the centuries.

*While Leo has been off training, the TMNT have fractured and lost their camaraderie.*

When we rejoin the titular turtles, they’ve been fractured; Leonardo has spent over a year in Central America on the orders of his master and father-figure, Splinter. Although Leo’s training ended some time ago, he feels he hasn’t yet fulfilled his mission to become a better leader and has come to believe his efforts to protect the locals as the “Ghost of the Forest” is more important than his duties back home. However, Leo is stunned when his old friend and former news reporter turned-antiquities-dealer April O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) arrives in Central America looking to source rare pieces for her boss, business tycoon Max Winters (Stewart), and tells him all about how Donatello (Whitfield) now “does machines” by working an exasperating job as a remote tech support, Michelangelo (Kelley) dresses up as “Cowabunga Carl” to act as a children’s entertainer, and Raphael (North) has largely ostracised himself from the group, sleeping all day to recover from his nightly jaunts as the armour-clad vigilante the Nightwatcher. Each of Leo’s brothers are aggravated by their situation in their own way; while Don appears content to let the past go and focus on contributing to their welfare, even Mikey, traditionally the most jovial of the bunch, expresses frustration at how boring their lives have become. While Mikey is in awe of the Nightwatcher, Don isn’t so convinced, believing he’s doing more harm than good, while Raph is obviously all for the vigilante filling the void his “has-been” brothers have left behind. Proud of his son for having grown stronger, Splinter encourages Leo to bring his brothers back together as a team before they return to vigilantism and encourages each of them to see their situation as a learning opportunity to acknowledge their flaws and grow stronger, though there’s a definite sense of scepticism amongst his sons even when Leo returns as they’ve gotten a little rusty working together.

*Resentful of Leo’s leadership, Raph frequently clashes with his brother and lashes out in frustration.*

Strangely, Leo is also unimpressed by the Nightwatcher’s efforts; while he accepts fellow vigilante Casey Jones (Chris Evans) as a trusted ally and the TMNT have their ninja training to fall back on, Leo believes the Nightwatcher is putting himself in unnecessary danger by meddling in crimefighting. While the others may be unaware of Raph’s nightly activities, Casey isn’t; constantly shirking his chores and missing appointments as April’s muscle thanks to his late-night excursions, Casey not only delights in busting heads alongside Raph but also opens up to him about his fears of a long-term commitment with April since he doesn’t feel mature enough to be the man she needs. Raph also opens up about his frustrations with Leo, which are surprisingly complex; he resents his brother for leaving, but also admits that he would probably do the same if he could only let go of his love for the noisy, violent city they call home. Despite Raph constantly criticising him, Leo tries his best to pull his brothers together but they’ve grown impulsive and immediately disregard his (and even Splinter’s) orders to avoid fighting, which results in them not only failing to subdue the Bigfoot but also taking quite a beating, too. Raph’s recklessness and loyalty to his friend later sees him drugged by a Foot dart and once again finds himself unconscious in April’s care. Luckily, he has one of the Stone Generals’ throwing stars stuck in his shell, and April’s knowledge of ancient lore allows her to piece together not just an explanation behind the monsters that’ve cropped up in the city but also Winters’ involvement in the plot.

*Although he seems evil, Winters actually wants to atone for his past and end his immortality.*

April is now capable enough to work with Don to calculate when and how the dimensional rift will open and also showcases enough ninja training to join her allies in the finale. April also assists Winters in obtaining the legendary petrified generals but, while he assumes the façade of a charming and affluent collector of ancient relics, Winters secretly hires the remnants of the Foot Clan, led by Shredder’s former lieutenant, Karai (Zhang), to capture the thirteen monsters and bring them to him. When inside Winters’ vast skyscraper, the film veers towards the absurd somewhat; Winters favours a distinct stone-and-marble aesthetic, one that’s made up of centuries of relics and an unnaturally long life amassing an impressive fortune, but that’s also home to an impossibly large, steampunk-themed facility specifically designed to siphon the interdimensional power of the rift by sacrificing the captured monsters. No mere businessman, Winters easily intimidates Karai and the Foot after awakening his old allies, General Aguila (Kevin Michael Richardson), General Serpiente (Paula Mattioli), and General Gato (Fred Tatasciore), imposing, nigh-immortal warriors who eventually conspire against Winters when they realise that his goal is no longer world conquest. Although thirteen monsters cause havoc throughout the city, only a handful feature prominently, and some are barely glimpsed. The first one seen is the gargoyle-like Succubor, which feasts on birds and Raph and Casey witness being captured by the Foot and the Stone Generals. However, the first monster that the TMNT encounters is the Bigfoot, a rampaging, ape-like yeti that manhandles the Foot atop a construction site before being captured by General Aquila. Through the power of a montage, the Foot and the Stone Generals subdue all but two of the legendary monsters in quick succession, meaning the most prominent monster is the diminutive, voracious Jersey Devil, which the Nightwatcher battles in a diner kitchen. After deciding to maintain their immortality and unleash a legion of monsters upon the world, the Stone Generals turn against Winters and substitute Leo for the final monster, reducing these visually interesting creatures to mere plot points.

The Nitty-Gritty:
As much as I enjoyed the first two TMNT movies and admire the excellent suits and animatronics used to bring them to life, there’s no doubt in my mind that going all CGI is a much better way to bring these bizarre characters to screen. In fact, the only downsides I have about the TMNT’s appearances in this movie are that they’re not as easy to tell apart as their predecessors and successors. Yes, they have different weapons, voices, and bandanas but they’re not as physically distinct; like, usually they have different colourings or Raph is bulkier, for example. Additionally, they’re a little too frog-like in their movements. I’m okay with this, however, as they move and fight with a kinetic, superhuman quality that results in some fun and fast-paced sequences. TMNT also gets extra points not just for evoking the original Mirage Comics in its visuals, especially when the TMNT are traversing the city at night, but in its violence. While there’s no blood or bodily dismemberment, there’s a surprising amount of explicit and implicit violence in TMNT; Leo is very heavily implied to have killed the soldiers who ransacked the village under his protection and the film opens with Yaotl and his brotherhood ruthlessly cutting down their enemies. Committing to an all-CGI production certainly allows TMNT to maintain a consistent visual style; while the TMNT and the various monsters are obviously fantastical creatures, this is a hyper-realistic animated world, where stick-thin characters like April co-exist alongside the absurdly broad-shouldered Winters. The entire film is steeped in a murky darkness that really adds to the atmosphere and again harkens back to the original Mirage Comics; Leo’s brutal confrontation with the Nightwatcher notably stands out due to the rain and storm effects adding to the emotional conflict. Although the city can appear a little barren at times, there are a few instances of armed street punks running afoul of the Nightwatcher to help give the location a bit of life.

*Raph’s hot-headed attitude leads to him clashing with Leo and being forced to make amends.*

It’s not uncommon for TMNT stories to focus on themes of family and brotherhood, but TMNT is the first movie to really delve into these aspects beyond just depicting a sense of camaraderie and rivalry between the four. The film begins with the family dynamic splintered (no pun intended) in a way we rarely see; Leo is in Central America, honing his ninja and leadership skills, leaving his brothers to fend for themselves with menial jobs and a general lack of excitement. Feeling abandoned by his brother and frustrated by being stuck in their underground lair all the time, Raph has taken to stalking the streets as the Nightwatcher; as ever, his hot-headedness and antagonistic attitude causes friction between him and Leo when the latter returns since Raph is slighted by Splinter’s apparent favouritism towards his brother. Thus, while Mike and Don are elated to be reunited with their brother, it’s clear that the group’s effectiveness has waned in his absence and a central aspect of the movie is about them learning to trust each other and work collectively as an ass-kicking unit once more. Raph’s resentment towards Leo eventually boils over, causing him to quit the team and his family. When Leo goes to make amends, he confronts the Nightwatcher and, unaware that it’s Raph under the helmet, tries to reason with him following a thrilling rooftop chase across the city. Leo easily dodges the Nightwatcher’s heavy chains but is stunned to find his hot-tempered brother beneath the helmet; the two have a heated exchange and, with their tempers and egos flared, they engage in a brutal scuffle to settle their differences. Although seemingly evenly matched, Raph comes out on top after breaking Leo’s katana but he’s so ashamed at how close he came to killing his brother that he flees into the rainswept night and is unable to keep Leo from being captured by the Stone Generals. Guilt-ridden, Raph confesses his shame to Splinter; after his father commends Raph’s strength of character, Raph resolves to work with his family and friends to storm Winters’ tower and rescue Leo in order to make amends for his recklessness.

*After reuniting as a team and family, the TMNT bring Winters the peace he’s longed for.*

The theme of family permeates further as it turns out that Winters’ entire motivation is not for conquest or power, but to rid himself and his generals of their immortality and remove the monsters from the world so they can all finally be at peace. As they have no desire to lose their immortality, the Stone Generals capture the monsters for their own ends and force Karai and the Foot Clan to swear allegiance to them. Thus, the TMNT and their allies are forced to fight through an entire legion of Foot Soldiers in a large-scale fight scene that’s far and away beyond anything we’ve seen in a live-action TMNT movie; even Splinter, April, and Casey get in on the action, easily fending off the Foot’s greater numbers to the infectious beat of P.O.D.’s “Lights Out”. With an intense sky beam acting as a ticking clock before the dimensional rift is reopened, the TMNT breaches the tower and successfully rescue Leo; Raph apologises, gifts Leo new katana, and finally recognises his brother’s place as their leader. To his credit, Leo also acknowledges Raph’s importance to the team and family dynamic, and the heroes are surprised to find Winters actually desire the same goal as them: to save the city, dispense of the monsters, and end his long centuries of agonising immortality. Remaining loyal to Winters out of a sense of honour, Karai forges a temporary truce with her enemies. While Casey and April join her and her ninjas in tracking down the final monster, the TMNT finally come together as an efficient and co-ordinated unit to oppose General Aquila and his stone brethren with Winters and Splinter try to contain the beasts from escaping the swirling vortex. Due to the Stone Generals’ immortality, it doesn’t matter how hard or well the TMNT fight but, luckily for them, the Foot and their allies find the last monster, dispel the portal, and finally free Winters of his immortality. Despite Karai threatening that she and the Foot will resume hostilities on their next meeting, the TMNT return to the city streets finally reunited and stronger than ever; Splinter adds a few more mementos to his collection and the brothers head out into the night ready to defend their city from injustice…together at last.

The Summary:
I really enjoyed TMNT; when I first saw it, the “Heroes in a Half-Shell” had been absent from cinema screens for way too long and I was really digging the visual presentation of the film at the time. While the TMNT had returned to their darker, more violent roots in the intervening years, it always hits a little different when the TMNT make it to the big screen and push those boundaries a little further. While TMNT adopts a very different visual style, one that’s clearly very different from the previous films, it emulates the same tone and gritty atmosphere as the first film and works nicely as a semi-connected continuation of those movies. I really enjoyed the kinetic action and the animation style used to bring the TMNT to life; for the first time on film, they could hop about and perform all kinds of crazy moves that no suit performer could ever match and could encounter many visually interesting creatures. While it’s unfortunate that the monsters and even the Stone Generals aren’t spotlighted more, the focus on the family dynamic more than makes up for this; this wouldn’t be the first or last time that Leo and Raph would butt heads but it’s realised in an intriguing way here. Raph’s resentment towards Leo clashes with his begrudging respect for him, but he’s ultimately unable to contain his temper, leading to them having one of their most intense battles in the entire franchise. I enjoyed the sub-plot of Raph operating as the Nightwatcher and that there was a little more for April, Casey, and even Splinter to do in the finale, but the twist of the bad guy actually seeking to release himself and his family from their never-ending torment was greatly appreciated. I do think TMNT might have benefitted from playing things a little safer and focusing on Karai’s revenge against the TMNT, but I appreciate that the filmmakers tried to do something new and make the most of the revised genre to deliver a fun, mature, and apparently under-rated return to form for the fightin’ mad mutant turtles.

My Rating:

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of TMNT? How do you think the film holds up against the other TMNT films? Did you like the all-CGI format or do you prefer the live-action/CGI hybrid format of the previous films? What did you think to the fractured relationship between the TMNT? Did you enjoy seeing Raph operate as the Nightwatcher and go at it with Leo? What did you think to Winters and were you disappointed by the brief screen time of the thirteen monsters? Which of the TMNT is your favourite and why? How are you celebrating the TMNT’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on the TMNT, leave a comment down below or share your thoughts on my social media, and be sure to check out the other TMNT content across my site.

My Rating:

Fantastic

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My Rating:

Could Be Better

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My Rating:

Great Stuff

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My Rating:

Fantastic

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My Rating:

Pretty Good

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My Rating:

Could Be Better

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My Rating:

Pretty Good

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My Rating:

Terrible

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My Rating:

Terrible

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My Rating:

Great Stuff

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