adaptation

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: Live and Let Die

Dr. K1 Comment

October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day” so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 12 July 1973
Director: Guy Hamilton
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $7 million
Stars: Roger Moore, Yaphet Kotto, Jane Seymour, Julius W. Harris, and David Hedison

The Plot:
Renowned super spy James Bond/007 (Moore) travels to New Orleans to investigate mob boss Mister Big/Doctor Kananga (Kotto), a drug baron planning to mass distribute his particularly addictive strain of the heroin.

The Background:
MI6 agent James Bond is the creation of writer Ian Fleming and was heavily inspired by his time and experiences as a Navy intelligence officer. The unparalleled James Bond cinematic franchise famously got started with Sean Connery in the lead role before he tired of the part. Although Connery was lured back by a whopping $1.25 million deal, this was a temporary reprieve and suave Roger Moore finally took the role after finishing up with The Saint (1962 to 1969). Loosely based on the 1954 novel of the same name, screenwriter Tom Mankiewicz purposely emphasised the racial undertones of the story, inspired by the Black Panther movement and “Blaxploitation” movies of the era and to include a crocodile farm after spotting one during location scouting. Mankiewicz also worked with Moore to tweak Bond’s characterisation, making him a more light-hearted character, though it took some time for this to solidify. While Mankiewicz wanted signer Diana Ross for Solitaire, the producers cast up-and-comer Jane Seymour, while the late Yaphet Kotto reportedly had issues with the racial clichés of the script and his villain. The production was littered with issues, from Moore’s kidney stones, stuntmen being injured, and many struggling with the live snakes. Live and Let Die’s $161.8 million box office got the franchise back on track after the previous films underperformed, though some criticised Moore’s performance and the more over-the-top elements. Others praised the film’s more innovative moments and its fun chase sequences, though Dr. Kananga has been cited as one of the worst Bond villains and the comedic moments divided some. Still, Moore returned as Bond the following year and finished up with an unprecedented seven-film run as the character, and is often regarded as the best actor to ever portray the legendary super spy.

The Review:
Live and Let Die uses its opening moments to establish that something fishy is going on with Dr. Kananga, the proud and outspoken dictator of the small Caribbean nation of San Monique. Those monitoring him are killed in subtle, yet amusingly theatrical ways, prompting MI6 director “M” (Bernard Lee) to visit Bond at home and send him to New York City to investigate. Our new Bond is introduced in bed with an Italian special agent (Madeline Smith) and, most crucially, in his home, which I don’t believe we’d seen before. Moore’s Bond is a charmer and a little more comedic than his predecessors, dancing around distracting the exasperated M to keep him from spotting the girl. While M had little time for Connery’s antics, he seems visibly aggravated by Bond’s cavalier attitude. This is possibly because “Q” (Desmond Llewelyn) is uncharacteristically absent and elements of his irritated opinion of Bond have been splicing into M, especially apparent by their discussion of Bond’s fancy new magnetic watch. Thanks to a quick intervention from Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), Bond avoids any repressions and heads to New York to liaise with his Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) counterpart, Felix Leiter (Hedison), who’s been monitoring Dr. Kananga. Despite his cheerful and confident disposition, Bond is caught somewhat unawares when his driver (Joie Chitwood) is murdered at the wheel, but quickly gains control with minimal damage and even providing the registration number of a suspicious pimpmobile. So, right away we can see that Moore is capable and charismatic, greeting every situation with a wry grin and a disarming pun, but also observant and adaptable, using any means necessary to overcome danger.

Moore’s portrayal of James Bond would rather use his charm and wit than resort to violence.

While investigating the pimpmobile, Bond tails Dr. Kananga and his colourful entourage to a “Fillet of Soul” restaurant in downtown Harlem, receiving a suspicious welcome from the predominantly Black clientele and meeting the aggressive and demanding Mr. Big, a strangely deformed mobster who orders his execution. Luckily for Bond, Mr. Big’s henchmen take their sweet time marching him to his death and Bond turns the tables before pondering the situation with Felix and fellow CIA agent Harry Strutter (Lon Satton). Since Dr. Kananga has flown back to San Monique, Bond follows and is again threatened in his bugged bungalow suite, first by a snake and then by a gun-toting assassin who turns out to be fledgling CIA operative Rosie Carver (Gloria Hendry). Though she’s unsure of herself and terrified by local voodoo superstitions popularised by the mysterious, seemingly immortal Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder), Bond sweet talks Rosie into bed and onto his side as she’s his only link to investigating one of the MI6 murders. Thanks to a chance encounter with Mr. Big’s medium, the beautiful Solitaire (Seymour), and quickly brushing up on tarot cards, Bond is tipped off about Rosie’s duplicitous nature and his kindly (if somewhat condescending) demeanour turns sour as he threatens her for information. However, when Rosie’s killed to keep her silent, Bond’s forced to use even less gentlemanly means to seduce the naïve Solitaire, easily tricking her by stacking her beloved cards in his favour, only to be frustrated to learn that she knows nothing of Dr. Kananga’s operation and simply gives him readings to help guide his actions. Despite this, Bond clearly sees that Solitaire’s life is in danger now that she’s lost her virginity and her uncanny abilities and promises to protect her. She’s thus with him when he discovers Dr. Kananga’s priceless poppy plantation, one protected by voodoo superstitions and ritualistic killings.

While Bond’s surrounded by some kooky allies, Solitaire impresses with her naïve allure.

Although almost every Black person in the movie secretly works for Dr. Kananga/Mr. Big as an undercover operative, Bond has a fair bit of backup. Felix freely shares his findings into Dr. Kananga, and conducts damage control when Bond commandeers an aeroplane and traumatises trainee pilot Mrs. Bell (Ruth Kempf). Oddly, Felix doesn’t accompany Bond for his late-night raid of the poppy plantation, instead handing over the weapons and explosives to 007 and stoic sailor Quarrel Jr. (Roy Stewart). Quarrel Jr. provides some backstory to the island but is basically just there to drive the boat so it’s a little odd seeing him sulking around with explosives instead of Felix. Initially, Rosie seems like she’ll be a comedic foil for Bond, a clumsy, untested field agent who succumbs to his charms and grows into her own by the film’s end. However, Rosie’s soon revealed to be working for Dr. Kananga and is quickly offed (which is odd as the bullet could’ve just as easily hit Bond). After escaping from Dr. Kananga’s crocodile farm, Bond annoys Sheriff J.W. Pepper (Clifton James) and the Louisiana State Police, who scramble to chase him and his pursuers as they race around in speedboats, only to be comedically foiled time. Finally, there’s Solitaire, whom Bond is immediately entranced by and wastes no time turning her cards against her by uncovering the “Lovers” card. While Bond seems disturbed by Solitaire’s ramblings regarding the “Gods” and her “powers”, he resolves to protect her, and she willingly goes along with him since she knows Dr. Kananga will kill her once he discovers her gift is gone.

Dr. Kananga’s largely overshadowed by his more visually interesting and colourful henchmen.

Dr. Kananga is actually two villains in one, since the bombastic president doubles as a mob boss thanks to peculiar disguise, quickly revealing his dual identity to Bond. While Mr. Big is a gruff, severe mob boss, Dr. Kananga is a loquacious and mostly charming psychopath who delights in his plot to distribute his heroin free of charge to ensure his dominance over the drug trade. Dr. Kananga’s actions are guided by Solitaire’s insight, though he’s angered when Bond defies her predictions and laments having to punish her, clearly harbouring an affection for her that leans towards something more sinister as he is both enraged and betrayed to learn she gave herself to Bond and not him. Surrounded by his colourful entourage, Dr. Kananga fosters local superstition to protect his operation and spread fear, relying on the voodoo legend of Samedi to bolster his reputation and the unnerving muscle of the sadistic Tee-Hee Johnson (Harris), a brutish man with an infectious smile and a particularly nasty prosthetic arm. Tee-Hee relishes taunting Bond, bringing him to the crocodile farm to be eaten alive and gladly returning for one last shot at killing 007 in the finale. The soft-spoken Whisper (Earl Jolly Brown) crops up to lure Bond into traps and Dr. Kananga delights in executing his foes in the most theatrical way possible, even leaving Bond’s fate to a shiver of sharks rather than simply shooting him dead.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s undeniable that Live and Let Die is “Bond Meets Blaxploitation”. I’m no expert and probably not the best person to comment on how “appropriate” any of this is these days, but it was certainly a style at the time, and it does bring a certain uniqueness to the film. Many characters criticise Bond for wandering around Harlem and into exclusively Black territory, though the only Black characters to give him grief are those working for Mr. Big. Even then, Dr. Kananga’s henchman all have a jive and swagger to them that’s far more visually interesting than most disposable minions, spitting racially charged insults at Bond, sassing the locals, and have an air of confident cool about them that nicely contrasts with Sheriff Pepper’s bluster. I think it’s also important to note that neither Bond or Dr. Kananga exhibits a discriminatory attitude: Bond never comments on anyone’s race, seducing Rosie as eagerly as Solitaire, and Dr. Kananga gleefully makes his product available to everyone. Ironically, he also delivers a stirring tirade calling for his people to rise up and happily encourages superstition if it means deterring outsiders. These voodoo rituals probably veer on the offensive as people writhe about in loincloths carrying snakes and chanting like stereotypical depictions of island “savages”. The supernatural is treated very ambiguously, with Bond believing it a smokescreen but Dr. Kananga trusting Solitaire’s predictions, which are all seen to be true. I’m also at a loss to explain the cackling Baron Samedi, who turns to porcelain when shot and returns from death time and again, with little logical explanation beyond the presence of lifts beneath his gravesites.

Bond’s stunts and action sequences are noticeably more cartoonish in Moore’s debut.

Despite Q’s absence, Bond gets a few memorable and bizarre gadgets. His new wristwatch emits a powerful magnetic force said to be capable of stopping a bullet, but which is simply used to attract a compressed gas pellet (though Bond also uses its buzzsaw function to escape his vines). When scoping out his bungalow, Bond whips out a gadget to detect surveillance bugs then taps at another gadget at the window (though I’ve no idea why) and even uses a hang glider to reach Solitaire’s abode. While he loses his signature Walther PPK thanks to Tee-Hee’s bionic claw, Bond later blasts Dr. Kananga’s henchman with a miniaturised shotgun and proves adept with a speedboat. Sadly, this chase becomes a slapstick farce as the cartoonish Sherriff Pepper repeatedly fails to apprehend his man. This sequence quickly outlives its welcome, depicting Bond and Dr. Kananga’s henchmen blasting across grass, through a wedding, and crashing into a local’s swimming pool. Bond’s escape through Mister Bleeker’s (Stephen Hendrickson) flying school is equally outrageous, with Bond somehow outpacing his pursuers and causing them to crash just by casually driving around a Cessna 140, which the henchmen run despite having a clear shot. On the plus side, there’s very little of that awful rear projection early Bond films were so notorious for and the car chase and crashes are pretty good. I liked how subtly the pimpmobile rolled up and executed Bond’s driver, Bond’s use of an abandoned double decker bus, and the jive cab driver (Arnold Williams) who constantly obstructs Bond’s investigation. Moore’s Bond isn’t much of a fighter, however, and is more apt to walk into elaborate traps and be clobbered from behind Instead, his Bond tries to talk his way out of every situation, or at least distract his captors with dry wit, mocking Tee-Hee’s disability even as he’s at risk of having his finger…and more…severed. Moore’s Bond is extremely adaptable, however, seen to be quick thinking and using his surroundings to his advantage, including an overhead ladder, a makeshift blow torch, and hopping across crocodiles!

While Dr. Kananga’s death is ludicrous, Bond’s final fight with Tee-Hee is quite enjoyable.

After giving Bond the chance to escape, Solitaire returns to Dr. Kananga but endures his wrath for her betrayal, ending up tied to an altar to be executed in a voodoo ritual. Luckily, Bond and Quarrel Jr. show up to blow up the poppy plantation and Bond rescues Solitaire, seemingly killing Baron Samedi and descending into Dr. Kananga’s surprisingly high-tech underground hideout, which where he monitors his operation and plans to move heroin from the island. Naturally, Dr. Kananga greets Bond and Solitaire as guests and treats them to a drink before disarming them and strapping them to a winch, amused by Bond’s gadgets but even more excited to slice his arms and get his sharks in a frenzy for a fittingly theatrical and bloody execution. Cool as a cucumber, Bond surreptitiously uses his watch to snag one of his compressed gas cannisters and cut his binds, subduing the oafish Whisper and facing Dr. Kananga, who’s practically giddy at the prospect, baiting him and waving a hunting knife in 007’s face. There isn’t much to this fight, however, as Bond easily sidesteps Dr. Kananga and they tumble into the water, where the drug baron panics at the sight of his sharks, allowing Bond to stuff the cannister into his mouth and inflate him like a balloon for perhaps the most comical and ludicrous death of the entire franchise. Bond and Solitaire’s hopes for a long, relaxing train ride back to New York are dashed when Tee-Hee attacks. Despite the brute’s augmented strength, Bond’s wiles again prove the difference maker as he cuts some wires in Tee-Hee’s arm, locking him in place to be easily tossed out the window to his death. Having been bested at cards by Solitaire, Bond prepares to “test an old adage” about being luckier at love, unaware that Baron Samedi inexplicably survived and is laughing like a maniac on the front of the train…

The Summary:
Fun fact: Live and Let Die was the first of what I call the “Classic Bond” movies I watched all the way through and is the reason Roger Moore is my favourite Bond of this era. While Sean Connery was charismatic but cold-blooded and George Lazenby was just a guy pretending to be Bond, Roger Moore is a suave, charming, jovial character who’s all business when he needs to be but would rather disarm his enemies with his quick wit and make up his escape plans on the fly than shoot or fight his way out of situations. Generally, this works pretty well for him and Bond utilises some absolutely comical methods to elude and dispatch Dr. Kananga’s henchmen, but he’s just as apt to be knocked out and placed in an elaborate death trap that requires an equally over the top method to escape. Still, Moore oozes charm and fits nicely into the role, and I liked that he still had a bit of an edge to him but seemingly disliked resorting to violence. Bond’s nicely out of his depth in Harlem and San Monique, seen as a “honky”, sticking out like a sore thumb, and refusing to entertain the local superstitions. While the “Blaxploitation” aspects are probably problematic, I really liked the swagger and theatricality given to Dr. Kananga and his underlings as it made them more lively and enjoyable to watch than the usual stone-faced Russians. Jane Seymour is easily one of the most gorgeous of the Bond Girls and delivers a suitably alluring, almost childlike performance and I really enjoyed Julius W. Harris as Tee-Hee, how he relished each encounter with Bond, and continue to be fascinated by the theatrical Baron Samedi. As much as I love Yaphet Kotto, however, Dr. Kananga is a strange villain who constantly flip-flops between being sinister, aggrieved, and insane, being just as likely to delight in conversing with Bond as he is to lash out in anger. His death was ludicrous even for this film, which largely ruins every action sequence with slapstick buffoonery and cartoonish supporting characters. While I think Moore acquitted himself well in Live or Let Die, the overall plot and most of the execution is somewhat questionable, despite the jive cool that permeates the film, making this one of his more forgettable outings as the suave super spy.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Roger Moore’s debut as 007 in Live and Let Die? How do you think he compared to his predecessors? Do you find the “Blaxploitation” angle problematic? Would you agree that Dr. Kananga has one of the worst deaths in the franchise? Do you think there is a supernatural element present in this film? Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating James Bond this October? Whatever you think about Live and Let Die, leave a comment below, check out my other 007 content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Bond movies for me to review.

Movie Night: Candyman (1992)

Dr. K4 Comments

Released: 16 October 1992
Director: Bernard Rose
Distributor: TriStar Pictures
Budget: $8 to 9 million
Stars: Virginia Madsen, Tony Todd, Xander Berkeley, Kasi Lemmons, and Vanessa Estelle Williams

The Plot:
While researching urban legends for her university thesis, student Helen Lyle (Madsen) learns of Daniel Robitaille (Todd), the hook-handed “Candyman”, and is tormented by his restless spirit after trying to disprove his legend.

The Background:
Volume five of visionary British horror writer Clive Barker’s Books of Blood (1984 to 1985) featured the short story “The Forbidden”. Set in Barker’s native Liverpool, the story offered a horror take on segregation and the culture of poor urban areas. After Barker caught Hollywood’s attention with The Hellbound Heart in 1987 was heralded as “the future of horror” by iconic horror author Stephen King, more of his works made the jump to the silver screen. When director Bernard Rose signed on to bring “The Forbidden” to life, he opted to radically change both the setting and Candyman’s race to comment upon inner city violence, racial issues, and the tumultuous history of the Cabrini-Green housing estate. Eddie Murphy was the original choice for the title role but, when he proved too expensive, the late, great Tony Todd fought for the opportunity, negotiating a sweet $1000 bonus for every bee sting he suffering during filming. Virginia Madsen, a friend of Rose’s then-wife, joined the project and was placed into a hypnotic trance to add to Candyman’s otherworldly allure. Todd worked closely with make-up artist Bob Keen to refine Candyman’s appearance, while bee wrangler Norman Gary supervised the nearly 200,000 real honeybees, many being stingerless new-borns. Though its $25.8 million worldwide box office made Candyman a minor hit, the film attracted controversy for its depiction of race, though reviews were largely positive. Now regarded a horror classic, Candyman was praised for its terrifying atmosphere, social commentary, and haunting score courtesy of Philip Glass. While Candyman was followed by two sequels of varying quality and a lauded 2021 half-sequel, half-remake, Candyman cemented its place in horror history and turned star Tony Todd into an enduring icon for his captivating performance.

The Review:
Set in downtown Chicago, Candyman follows semiotics graduate student Helen Lyle and her mischievous best friend, Bernadette Walsh (Lemmons), as they research urban legends. Helen and Bernadette interview undergraduate students at the University of Illinois Chicago, with most repeating versions of the same modern-day campfire story of mysterious “Candyman”. While Helen and Bernadette are as sceptical (and even mocking) as Helen’s husband, Trevor (Berkeley), who teaches a course debunking such urban legends, their interviewees firmly believe the tall tales. Many of these accounts are from second- or even third-hand information, news reports, or rumours passed between friends and the generations and growing more elaborate over time. Helen and Bernadette are fascinated that so many are convinced that the hook-handed Candyman is real, that if you say his name five times in a mirror he’ll appear to split you from groin the gullet, and have aspirations of changing the understanding of such myths. While typing her notes, Helen learns of a very real and very feared Candyman holed up in Cabrini-Green Homes, a destitute tower block run by violent gangs. While researching Cabrini-Green, Helen learns her building was also built as a cheap housing project before being turned into luxury condos, but on the cheap, so residents could easily pass between apartments using a poorly covered up hole in the bathroom. Helen theorises that Cabrini-Green is very much the same and that a local thug uses this method to sneak into people’s homes and butcher them, building a reputation for himself as a nigh-supernatural killer.

Helen’s determined to prove that “Candyman” is nothing but a campfire tale used to scare people.

Against Bernadette’s protests, Helen insists on checking out Cabrini-Green and, fooling the catcalling residents that they’re cops, they investigate the squalid tower block. Inside, Helen not only proves her theory but finds graffiti of the mythical Candyman and the ominous warning “Sweets to the Sweet”. Wary local Anne-Marie McCoy (Williams) and streetwise kid Jake (DeJuan Guy) provide eyewitness statements and further hearsay regarding the Cabrini-Green bogeyman. Anne-Marie knew Candyman’s latest victim but was powerless to help since her first priority is keeping her baby, Anthony (Lanesha Martin), safe, while Jake tells how Candyman once castrated a local “retarded” kid. While their stories are incredibly gruesome and Bernadette’s unnerved by Cabrini-Green’s hostile residents and reputation, Helen excitedly documents this evidence as it proves her theory that Candyman is a ghost story. She correctly assumes that a local gang leader (Terrence Riggins) uses a hook and exploits this myth to spread terror throughout the area, which Helen believes will change the perception of urban legends. Ironically, despite her arrogance and gusto, Helen’s surprisingly ill-informed about the real Candyman, Daniel Robitaille, and must learn his true origins from pompous scholar Professor Philip Purcell (Michael Culkin). Though captivated by Robitaille’s tragic story, Helen continues on and runs afoul of the local gangster, being brutally assaulted but fingering her assailant to Detective Frank Valento (Gilbert Lewis), effectively ending “Candyman’s” reign of terror by exposing him as a normal (if violent) man. Despite concerns about her husband’s fidelity and support, Helen heals and is excited to debunk the Candyman myth, only to find Robitaille’s unquiet spirit insulted at having his legend tarnished and herself haunted by him after she speaks his name five times into a mirror.

Candyman’s influence sees Helen pegged as violent and unstable.

Candyman skews into a supernatural thriller once Helen first encounters Robitaille’s besmirched spirit and wakes up in Anna-Marie’s apartment covered in blood, baby Anthony missing, Anna-Marie’s rottweiler decapitated, and the mother in a distraught state. The cops find Helen defending herself with a meat cleaver and naturally arrest her and Detective Valento’s formally friendly demeanour is replaced with a disgusted, demanding tone as Helen is pegged for violent assault and abduction. After enduring a humiliating strip search, Helen’s finally bailed out by Trevor, who promises to stick by her despite being strangely absent when she called for help. Unfortunately, Helen’s haunted by Candyman, who mesmerises her and promises to make them immortal by establishing a new urban legend with her as his “victim”. This is bad news for Bernadette as she’s disembowelled by the resentful spirit and Helen’s once again pegged as the prime suspect. Due to her erratic behaviour and seemingly being murderously violent, Helen is committed, tormented by Candyman’s silver-tongued visage and forced to evoke Robitaille’s name when cross examined by sceptical Doctor Burke (Stanley DeSantis). Helen desperately flees the sanitorium by posing as a nurse and returns to Trevor, only to find he’s moved in his young lover, Stacey (Carolyn Lowery), and now deathly afraid of Helen. With her life in ruins, Helen pivots towards trying to at least save baby Anthony and decides to trade her life for the baby’s to satisfy Robitaille’s desire to be re-empowered as a terrifying ghost story.

The enigmatic Candyman wishes to renew his legacy as an urban legend through mayhem and murder.

Candyman shows that young, horny, and stupid kids test the urban legend on a dare, never quite believing it was true, and pay the price. Helen’s efforts to debunk Candyman’s legend see Robitaille’s spirit manifest to correct this affront, with him haunting and partially hypnotising her to “be [his] victim” and kick-start a new urban legend. Robitaille was born wealthy and was well-educated, with a talent for art back in the late-1800s. After falling for and impregnating a young white woman, Robitaille was set upon be a lynch mob, had his right hand severed, and was stung to death by bees. Thus, the “Candyman” became a ghost story told in hushed tones and allowed Robitaille to live on in a form of immortality. Robitaille seems satisfied by this, only spilling innocent blood to further his legend, but is forced to step in when Helen causes his “congregation” doubt. Candyman appears only to those who summon him but personally haunts Helen, tormenting her and painting her as a mad woman who kills her best friend and abducts babies. Candyman brutally butchers anyone to further this assumption, turning everyone against Helen and driving her to perish along with him to spare Anthony. Graffiti of Candyman’s past shows that Helen resembles his lost love, partially explaining his obsession with her and, while the gangster who steals his name and gimmick is very human, Candyman is clearly a wraith of some kind. Appearing out of thin air, floating, mesmerising with a look and his gravelly voice, Candyman easily manhandles and slaughters his victims with his bloody hook hand, summoning bees and shrugging off Helen’s desperate attempts to fight back, even if he still bleeds and requires rest.

The Nitty-Gritty:
You can’t talk about Candyman without mentioning Philip Glass’s haunting overture. This almost religious and whimsical tune bolsters the foreboding atmosphere and adds as much gravitas to Candyman’s presence as his long, thick coat, bloody hook, and the immortal Tony Todd’s raspy, mesmerising voice. Equally, race is obviously front and centre in the titular wraith and Cabrini-Green. Obviously, I’m no expert on gentrification or segregation, but both Helen and Bernadette are aghast to learn that their fancy building was also once a glorified ghetto. Residents live in fear of Cabrini-Green, with the cops having little presence and the inhabitants are either violent gang members or terrified locals. There’s a sense that places like Cabrini-Green are both cursed (Candyman was tortured and killed there generations ago) and separated from “normal”, “polite”, white society as people actively avoid the violent area. Anna-Marie dislikes being painted as a “gangbanger” or lowlife just for living in a bad area, but the gangs certainly don’t help Cabrini-Green’s reputation as they accost any outsiders and go around killing and maiming people without punishment. Even Bernadette, an African American woman, feels uncomfortable there, more than Helen, who fearlessly and confidently (and naively) braves the danger for her thesis. Unlike the locals, who fear the gangster Candyman, Helen’s not afraid to go to the cops and finger her attacker, but even she’s disgusted by how quickly the cops (even African American detective Valento) react when a white woman is attacked there, especially as they turned a blind eye when a black woman was killed there. Obviously, Robitaille’s murder was also due to prejudice, though he doesn’t seek revenge for this or even seem that bothered by it, indiscriminately killing only to keep his legend alive.

Blood and gore are used sparingly but are brutal when they appear thanks to Candyman’s savagery.

Although Candyman opts more for an ominous tone, things do get disturbingly bloody. At first, Candyman’s appearance and his victims are largely obscured, tying into his status as an ever-shifting ghost story. As Helen learns more, the brutality and clarity of the gore become more apparent, with Jake’s story of how “Candyman” castrated a young boy being particularly unnerving due to how malicious and random the attack is. Typically, we’re treated to the aftermath of Candyman’s attacks, with Helen waking up covered in blood, Anna-Maria’s apartment and Anthony’s crib being similarly bloodstained, and even Bernadette’s gruesome death depicted offscreen and through her butchered corpse. The only death we see clearly is Dr. Burke’s, whose back is split open when Helen calls Candyman. It’s a disturbing and savage end to a character who really didn’t deserve such horrifying treatment, just like Bernadette’s death, which has a distressing sexual undertone as all we hear are her screams of agony and Robitaille’s grunting. Dr. Burke’s death is similarly sexualised, almost an act of unwanted sexual aggression, and this ties into Robitaille’s designs for Helen. He mesmerises her and effectively date rapes her before rendering her docile for a kiss. Given that Helen resembles his lost love, this sexual subtext makes perfect sense and also goes hand in hand with his desire for them to burn alive like tragic lovers. Therefore, while Candyman uses gore sparingly, the blood is thick, viscous, and unnerving whenever it appears. Much of the movie is about building a tense atmosphere and Candyman’s magnetic presence, then suddenly the score drops or Robitaille appears for a jump scare that often leads to a savage murder. It’s extremely effective, largely because of Todd’s allure and Candyman’s horrifying hook hand, and more than makes up for some dodgy moments like when he’s floating above Helen or comically flies out of a window.

After submitting to Candyman, Helen becomes an urban legend through her sacrifice.

While Helen starts with good intentions, she quickly discovers that Daniel Robitaille is very real when he confronts her. Thanks to his influence, Helen is pegged as an abductor, murderer, and crazy woman, losing her husband to a younger, perkier student and being committed for her crimes. Eventually, realising she cannot escape him, Helen resolves to at least try and save baby Anthony from a squalid apartment in Cabrini-Green. When Helen confronts Candyman, he offers to spare the boy if she submits to him, which she willingly does. However, he immediately welches on the agreement by placing Anthony beneath a pile of debris the locals were assembling for a bonfire party, forcing Helen to scramble into the wooden construct to rescue him. Unfortunately, Jake spots the hook and assumes that “Candyman” has returned. Thus, he leads a mob of Cabrini-Green’s residents in burning the pyre to finally rid themselves of their tormentor. Though Candyman restrains her in the flames, relishing the legend their deaths will birth, Helen stabs him through his bee-encrusted ribs with a flaming piece of wood and causing Candyman to combust. While thrashing in agony and heartbreak, Candyman causes the structure to partially collapse, briefly pinning Helen under a beam and setting her back and hair on fire. Despite the pain, Helen safely returns Anthony to Anna-Marie, then succumbs to her horrific burns and dies. Surprisingly, Jake, Anna-Marie, and the other residents of Cabrini-Green join Trevor at Helen’s grave to both pay their respects and put Candyman to rest. Guilt-ridden, tormented by memories of a marriage he took for granted, the distraught Trevor locks himself in the bathroom, dismisses Stacey’s concerns, and mutters Helen’s name five times in anguish. She then appears before him, now also a wraith, and orgasmically dismembers him, leaving another brutalised corpse to further the legend of the hook-handed killer.

The Summary:
While I didn’t grow up with Candyman like I did other horror franchises, it remains one of the most haunting and striking of its genre even to this day. The score and atmosphere work in tandem with Tony Todd’s eye-catching look and voice to essentially create a modern-day gothic icon not unlike Count Dracula. These comparisons are especially apt when you consider Candyman as a tragic, romantic figure and that Helen even attempts to “stake” him with a hook while he’s slumbering. Candyman tackles relatable themes like segregation and racial prejudice and uses them as a backdrop for its supernatural elements, presenting a world where there’s a clear class and race divide that breeds resentment and violence. This is the perfect kindling for Candyman’s legend, which is so prevalent that street thugs are copying his look and gimmick to spread fear. Virginia Madsen delivers a nuanced performance as Helen, going from a fearless investigator to being captivated by Candyman’s allure and descending into near madness due to his actions. Tony Todd cemented his status as a screen and horror icon with this role, presenting Candyman as a loquacious, irresistible, and horrifying figure who, unlike his killers, doesn’t discriminate when choosing victims. Candyman wishes only to live as a feared memory, only taking lives when called forth and to bolster his legend, but actively torments Helen to start a new story and help him live on. While gore is used sparingly, it makes a hell of an impact when it appears and Candyman’s kills are disturbingly psycho-sexual in their brutality. It’s a very beautiful and atmospheric film, sneaking some chilling and startling moments amidst its painfully relevant story, and remains perhaps the greatest urban gothic horror of its time.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of Candyman? If you’ve read the source material, how do you think the film works as an adaptation? What did you think to Tony Todd’s magnetic performance and the surprising tragedy behind Candyman? Did you enjoy the foreboding atmosphere and Helen’s investigation into the Candyman legend? Which of the Candyman films is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on Candyman, feel free to share them below, check out my other horror content, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you’d like to see me cover the other Candyman movies.

Movie Night: The Mummy (1999)

Dr. K3 Comments

Released: 7 May 1999
Director: Stephen Sommers
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $80 million
Stars: Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, Arnold Vosloo, John Hannah, Kevin J. O’Connor, and Oded Fehr

The Plot:
Coerced into leading a team to the fabled “City of the Dead”, Hamunaptra, roguish former Legionnaire Rick O’Connell (Fraser) faces the wrath of cursed, undead priest Imhotep (Vosloo) after they unknowingly disturb his ancient tomb.

The Background:
When British archaeologist Howard Carter and his benefactor, Lord Carnarvon, discovered Tutankhamun’s tomb in 1922, they unearthed an elaborate sarcophagus. This inspired producer Carl Laemmle Jr. to task Richard Schayer to produce a Mummy-centric horror movie to go alongside Universal Studios’ previous success with Dracula (Browning, 1931) and Frankenstein (Whale, 1831). The result was The Mummy (Freund, 1932). a modest box office success heralded as a classic of it era. After decades of reinterpretations of this original concept, producers James Jacks and Sean Daniel pitched an updated version in the late-1980s, though Universal only agreed if they kept the budget small. Zombie godfather George Romero and horror maestro Clive Barker were initially attached to the project, which spent some time in Development Hell before the studio agreed to finance a bigger budget period piece and lifelong fan Stephen Sommers came onboard. Reimagining the concept as a romantic-adventure-horror piece inspired by the Indiana Jones trilogy (Spielberg, 1981 to 1989), Sommers cast rising star Brendan Fraser for his swashbuckling allure, while Arnold Vosloo both lost weight and put his theatre background to good use as the tortured Imhotep. While prosthetics were implemented wherever possible, $15 million of the budget was spent on cutting-edge CGI effects, such as painstakingly creating the desiccated Imhotep and an ambitious CGI sandstorm. Though criticised for its historical accuracy, The Mummy’s $818.1 million box office made it an unexpected blockbuster success praised for its action-packed narrative, adventurous spirit, and impressive special effects. Fraser was especially praised and the film was followed by two sequels, an animated spin-off, kickstarted the Rock’s acting career, and is widely regarded as one of the best adventure movies of its era.

The Review:
As this is the story of disgraced High Priest Imhotep, The Mummy opens with a flashback to ages past, narrated by the Medjai warrior later known as Ardeth Bay (Fehr), to show how Imhotep came to be cursed. It seems the horny priest couldn’t keep his hands off Pharaoh Seti I’s (Aharon Ipalé) alluring young bride, Princess Anck-su-namun (Patricia Velásquez), and the two were so besotted that they conspired to murder the pharaoh. The ever-watchful Medjai instantly acted, leading Anck-su-namun to commit suicide, believing her lover would resurrect her with the fabled Book of the Dead (not that one). Unfortunately for Imhotep and his loyal followers, the ceremony was interrupted by the Medjai, who subjected the priest to the worst fate imaginable. He was mummified alive, buried with flesh-eating scarabs, and cursed to exist in a state of limbo, not quite dead or alive. However, this punishment carried a hefty and ridiculous upside, namely that Imhotep would gain incredible supernatural powers if disturbed. He would be a living cataclysm, bringing about the fabled “Ten Plagues of Egypt” (a locust swarm, rivers turning to blood, all that jazz) and herald the end of the world. In hindsight, it seems it would’ve been far easier and less trouble to simply execute Imhotep as the Medjai then spent lifetimes guarding his tomb in Hamunaptra. Hundreds of years later, soldier Rick O’Connell stumbles upon the accursed sight while fighting a losing battle against the Tuareg. This sees Rick’s entire garrison but himself and cowardly opportunist Beni Gabor (Kevin J. O’Connor) wiped out in search of the ancient treasure buried in the long-forgotten “City of the Dead”.

Roguish Rick leads Evy and her brother on an expedition to a forgotten, cursed city.

Three years later, Rick (now a dishevelled mercenary) is imprisoned in Cairo and sentenced to be hanged by lecherous warden Gad Hassan (Omid Djalili). Luckily for Rick, he was recently pick-pocketed by unscrupulous Jonathan Carnahan (Hannah) who brings his prize to his bookish, scholarly sister, Evelyn “Evy” Carnahan (Weisz). Though intrigued and baffled by the artefact, Evy immediately recognises that it contains a map to Hamunaptra and eagerly requests to get some much-needed field experience searching for the fabled city, only for her superior, Doctor Terence Bey (Erick Avari), burns a vital part of the map, ostensibly to protect them from running off on a fool’s errand. Undeterred, Evy has Jonathan take her to the man he stole it from and, though aghast by Rick’s boorish nature, successfully barters for his freedom in return for leading an expedition to Hamunaptra. Although Rick has no love for Hamunaptra, he feels he owes Evy a debt and is obviously captivated by her beauty, innocence, and drive to prove that she’s more than a simple clumsy librarian. Evy finds herself constantly daydreaming of the spontaneous kiss she shared with Rick and excited by the adventure, seemingly naïve to any danger, excitedly explaining local legends and superstitions and identifying the best places to dig. While unimpressed by Rick’s impudence, Evy’s nevertheless besotted by him and, honestly who could blame her? Brendan Fraser excels as a gunslinging rogue and is a constant highlight, bringing a wit and determination that makes Rick an easy character to root for. Rick has fantastic chemistry with Evy, who’s essentially the exact opposite of him, and admires her determination, though he’s reluctant to face the danger after Imhotep is unleashed and only does so to keep Evy safe.

Evy’s scholarly knowledge and Ardeth’s experience help combat the malicious mummy.

While travelling to Hamunaptra, Rick finds Beni leading some well-funded and well-equipped Americans to the same location. Thanks to Beni being a snivelly little weasel and a constant screw up, Rick successfully leads Evy to Hamunaptra first and the two groups continue to try and one-up each other as they search the site. Thanks to Evy, Rick and the others uncover Imhotep’s long-forgotten tomb, though Egyptologist Doctor Allen Chamberlain (Jonathan Hyde) discovers the Book of the Dead but cannot open it without Evy’s artifact. Knowing this, Evy “borrows” the hefty tomb and reads from it, despite Rick’s objections, unwittingly reawakening an ancient evil. Imhotep’s powers immediately manifest, causing a swarm of locusts to drive both groups into the underground chambers, where Imhotep ruthlessly robs short-sighted Bernard Burns (Tuc Watkins) of his eyes and tongue before being stunned by Evy’s likeness to Anck-su-namun and procuring Benji’s services since he speaks the “language of the slaves”. Both groups are then hounded by the Mummy, who finishes off Burns and similarly absorbs the flesh from Isaac Henderson (Stephen Dunham) and David Daniels (Corey Johnson), quickly regaining confidence and power, much to the horror of the Medjai. Despite attacks by the Medjai and Ardeth’s warnings, the groups persist and struggle to comprehend what they’ve unleashed, though Ardeth eventually joins them in combatting the Mummy despite mortal weapons having little effect on the creature. Even Jonathan, largely lethargic and cowardly, steps up, gunning down Medjai and hiding amongst the brainwashed civilians once Imhotep’s powers increase and proving himself useful in the finale, despite his distinct disadvantages compared to his sister when it comes to reaching ancient hieroglyphics.

Though driven by love, Imhotep’s Biblical powers are a threat to the world.

Although Imhotep is motivated by a burning desire to reunite with his beloved, the Mummy is a fearsome and formidable adversary. He seemed to have no interest in world destruction in ancient times but happily calls forth Biblical plagues once resurrected, smiting foes with falling meteorites, siccing his undead loyalists upon those who defy him, and even manifesting a sandstorm to knock Rick from the sky after he drafts drunken, suicidal World War I pilot Captain Winston Havelock (Bernard Fox) to help rescue Evy. Despite initially awakening as a decrepit, desiccated skeleton and fearing cats (the “guardians of the underworld”), Imhotep wields awesome power, easily shrugging off bullets, ripping out organs, and sucking the flesh from his victims with a supernatural scream. Each victim restores more of him, eventually returning the glorious Arnold Vosloo to the screen, where he exudes a quiet, confident menace with a simple glance. Though Beni acts as his translator, Imhotep’s intentions are always clear through his smirk, glare, and body language, to the point where he and Rick understand each other during their tense showdown in Cairo. While it’s not emphasised much as we only see the effects of Imhotep’s actions in the nearby area, it’s stated that Imhotep will destroy the entire world once reunited with Anck-su-namun. However, the primary concern is rescuing Evy before she’s sacrificed to complete Anck-su-namun’s resurrection. Anck-su-namun is Imhotep’s greatest weakness (aside from cats…) as he constantly stops to gaze upon Evy. Evy even uses this to her advantage, kissing Imhotep to dispel his sandstorm, though he has no hesitation in ordering his undead followers to pin her down to be killed so her true love can return.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The Mummy is a great example of a remake done right as it reinterprets the 1932 original as a period-piece adventure film. The basic plot of the original film is here but mainly condensed to the opening sequence and the general threat of an undead mummy trying to resurrect his former love. Comparisons to the Indiana Jones movies are suitable, but not entirely apt. Rick is nothing like Doctor Henry Jones Junior/Indiana Jones except that they’re both rugged, capable heroes. Indeed, Indy’s academic traits are ascribed to Evy (and, to a lesser extent, Jonathan) as Rick’s knowledge comes from experience and hearsay. While the film veers towards horror, it’s noticeable light on gore. When Burns gets his eyes and tongue removed, for example, they’re merely gaping voids in his pained face and it’s always obscured when characters get their flesh melted or devoured. Still, The Mummy doesn’t need to be a gore-fest and is much more enjoyable as a more accessible horror adventure film, and it still has some unsettling visuals. Imhotep’s rotting form is quite disturbing and the flesh-eating scarabs are probably very disturbing for entomophobes. The Mummy also has a great sense of humour, especially in the banter between Rick, Evy, and Jonathan and the depiction of many action scenes. There’s a goofy quality to the mummy fights as their limbs and heads are hacked off and it’s fun seeing Rick’s completely understandable reactions, like screaming in Imhotep’s face, fleeing when his mummified hoards advance, and openly criticising poor decisions like returning to Hamunaptra, reading from the Book of the Dead, and fighting the functionally invincible Imhotep.

While some effects are better than others, there’s still a lot of fun action in this adventure.

While I have a lot of nostalgia for The Mummy, I’d be lying if the CGI has stood the test of time. At times, it works really well, generally in low lighting or alongside practical effects, and it’s clear that a lot of effort went into rendering Imhotep’s “juicy”, skeletal corpse. However, it can look quite cartoonish, especially when the lighting’s off or he appears in broad daylight, scarabs scuttling under his flesh and his jaw hanging crooked. It was pretty ground-breaking at the time, though, and they’re still impressive shots, they’ve just not aged well. Paradoxically, it’s somewhat disappointing when the alluring Arnold Vosloo returns as a CGI mummy, a big selling point, but he still showcases some supernatural abilities, such as reattaching his severed limb and turning into sand. Surprisingly, these sentient sand effects have held up really well and I love the added detail of Imhotep’s screaming, smirking face in the effect. The plagues also look great, especially the meteor shower and the disgusting boils that appear on Imhotep’s brainwashed slaves, though his mummified cronies are hit or miss. I think the budget was stretched thin by the finale and the filmmakers were a tad ambitious in bringing a dozen or so mummies to the screen. This is best evidenced when you compare Imhotep’s followers to Anck-su-namun, who looks much better (and creepier) for being a practical effect. There are some fun gunfights though, with Rick impressing with his dual pistols, constant supply of firearms, and adaptability as he wards off the Medjai and waves Evy’s cat at Imhotep. The sets are also impressive, ominous recreations of Egyptian tombs and catacombs to really give a sense of foreboding when the characters are stumbling around in the dark.

Imhotep’s plot to be reunited with his lover are undone, with Rick and Evy finding love instead.

Having hunted down the Americans, Imhotep reaches full power, recovering the Book of the Dead and kidnapping Evy so she can be sacrificed at Hamunaptra. Determined to rescue her and stop the Mummy using the fabled Book of Amum-ra, Rick drafts Jonathan, Winston, and Ardeth into helping him and successfully braves Imhotep’s storm (with some quick thinking from Evy), though Winston is lost in the crash. Since Imhotep needs time to read the incantations and return Anck-su-namun from the underworld, he conjures his mummified acolytes for a fun action sequence where Rick hacks at some mummies and Ardeth blasts them with a machine gun. After retrieved the Book of Amum-ra, Jonathan uses it to distract Imhotep, allowing Rick to free Evy, though she’s attacked by the wretched, undead corpse of Anck-su-namun as Imhotep’s soldiers prepare to finish Rick. Thanks to Evy, Jonathan gains control of Imhotep’s minions, ordering them to hack Anck-su-namun to pieces, much to Imhotep’s rage. He takes his anger out on Rick, manhandling him and preparing to throttle him, only for Evy and Jonathan to read a second incantation that sees Anubis strip Imhotep’s powers. Undeterred, Imhotep prepares to finish his foes off, only to stupidly walk right into Rick’s sword. Startled, Imhotep stumbles into a pool of tar-like liquid, where wailing spirits rapidly decompose him (though he does manage ominously state, “Death… is only the beginning.”) Though victorious, Rick and the others are forced to flee when Beni, who decided to ransack the temple, accidentally triggers a boobytrap. Despite all his flaws and misdeeds, Rick makes a valiant effort to save Beni, but he gets distracted by his haul and left behind with the scarabs. Still, our heroes escape, earning Ardeth’s gratitude, and they ride off with a haul of riches and Rick and Evy finally sharing a passionate and consensual kiss.

The Summary:
While I generally prefer the sequel, The Mummy still holds up really well. Considering how much I disliked the original film and how awful the later reboot was, this is a fun action/adventure with a lot of heart and humour mixed with some light horror elements and thrilling action. Brendan Fraser excels as roguish gunslinger Rick O’Connell, who is immediately likeable and extremely capable while still flawed and vulnerable. I loved how he was so smitten by Evy that it occasionally rattled his confidence, and how he threw himself into every situation regardless of how sceptical he was. His banter with Evy and Jonathan was a constant highlight and he’s honestly a joy to watch, as is the disgustingly beautiful Rachel Weisz, who perfectly embodies this meek but feisty academic who eventually finds the courage to speak her mind. Jonathan was a great counterbalance to them both and I was always intrigued by the mystery surrounding Ardeth Bay, who really should’ve gotten a spin-off. Arnold Vosloo makes for a deliciously menacing villain, yet one who’s still quite tragic and sympathetic since he’s motivated by love and cursed to be a horrific creature. Although I stand by my criticism of the CGI, The Mummy still boasts some impressive special effects that largely hold up and the desiccated mummy design is very well done. I liked how the film expertly balanced its accessible horror with more action-orientated elements and kept the stakes grounded, but with the suggestion that the world was also at stake. In the end, The Mummy is still a fantastic film that far surpasses the original and has stood the test of time as a hugely enjoyable romp with some memorable characters, fun action, and impressive (if, let’s be honest, dated) special effects.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy this action-orientated remake of The Mummy? Did you enjoy Brendan Fraser’s performance as the roguish Rick? Do you agree that the CGI effects haven’t aged too well or do you think they still hold up? Did you like the blossoming romance between Rick and Evy or did you find it a bit nauseating? Why do you think Imhotep wasn’t simply executed? Would you read from the Book of the Dead? Which of Mummy trilogy is your favourite and how are you celebrating Halloween this year? Let’s see your thoughts on The Mummy below, then read some of my other horror reviews and donate to my Ko-Fi for more Mummy content.

Movie Night: The Mummy (1932)

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 22 December 1932
Director: Karl Freund
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $196,000
Stars: Boris Karloff, Zita Johann, David Manners, Edward Van Sloan, and Noble Johnson

The Plot:
Mummified for attempting to resurrect his dead lover, Egyptian high priest Imhotep (Karloff) reanimates when his tomb is disturbed and sets about wooing Helen Grosvenor (Johann) under the guise of an Egyptian historian.

The Background:
In 1922, British archaeologist Howard Carter and his, benefactor Lord Carnarvon, discovered the tomb of ancient Egyptian pharaoh Tutankhamun, uncovering a cache of riches and an elaborate sarcophagus that wowed and inspired generations. Producer Carl Laemmle Jr. was also inspired by this event, and the so-called “Curse of the Pharaohs” and commissioned story editor Richard Schayer to find a novel for a Mummy-centric horror movie to mirror Universal Studios’ previous success at adapting Dracula (Stoker, 1897) and Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus (Shelley, 1818). Schayer and writer Nina Wilcox Putnam discovered Alessandro Cagliostro’s Cagliostro, a nine-page treatment with some similarities to Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Ring of Toth, which was then retooled by screenwriter John L. Balderston into The Mummy. Taking inspiration from ancient, real-world figures, Balderston’s script became cinematographer Karl Freund’s first gig as a director in America and saw Boris Karloff flex his acting muscles in the title role. Still, Karloff endured a lengthy and uncomfortable make-up process as Jack Pierce transformed him into a desiccated corpse, slathering his face with cotton, collodion, and spirit gum and wrapping him in linen bandages treated with acid and burnt in an oven! While the film’s historical accuracy was debated, The Mummy was a modest box office success met with mixed reviews that has since been regarded as a classic horror for its unique blending of romanticism and horror. The film inspired a few loose sequels and spin-offs before being expertly reconfigured into a highly regarded blockbuster adventure in 1999 (which also spawned sequels and some questionable spin-offs). Although that goodwill was undone by an ill-fated remake in 2017, the visual of an undead creature wrapped in bandages has been an enduring horror figure regardless.

The Review:
The Mummy begins in 1921, where archaeologist Sir Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron) uncovers Imhotep’s sarcophagus alongside his assistant Ralph Norton (Bramwell Fletcher). While the two are excited to examine the find, Whemble’s friend and colleague, Doctor Muller (Van Sloan), warns that the sarcophagus carries a terrible curse, which Whemble scoffs at, but Dr Muller insists is a warning of the wrath of the ancient Egyptian Gods. While the two wax philosophical, Norton opens the tomb and discovers Imhotep’s surprisingly well preserved remains, the priest having been mummified alive (rather than having his “viscera” removed) for some terrible affront, alongside the “Scroll of Thoth.” Despite Dr. Muller’s warnings, the curious Norton reads from the scroll, unintentionally awakening Imhotep, who lurches to life, swipes the scroll, and leaves Norton so out of his mind that he eventually dies laughing in a straitjacket. The film then jumps ahead some ten years to find Whemple’s son, Frank (Manners), following in his now deceased father’s footsteps, digging for ruins in Egypt alongside Professor Pearson (Leonard Mudie) but having nothing to show for it but a lot of wasted money and a few trinkets. Frustrated and disheartened, the two prepare to leave when they’re visited by the enigmatic and mysterious “Ardath Bay”, Imhotop’s dishevelled but largely human pseudonym, who points them to the long-lost tomb of Princess Ankh-es-en-Amon (Johann). Although they’re initially sceptical, the two are overjoyed when their enthusiastic (but surely underpaid and overworked) dig team uncover the tomb, though Frank is mildly scorned that their discovery is claimed by the Cairo Museum as per the terms of their contract. In contrast, Professor Pearson is overjoyed, welcoming their mysterious benefactor to the museum and holding Ardath Bay in high regard despite his odd demeanour and superstition about being touched and digging up his people’s dead.

Imhotep has little trouble using incantations to fool and manipulate the unsuspecting characters.

Whemple returns to Cairo to bask in the find and Frank is soon enamoured by the beautiful half-Egyptian Helen, a patient of Dr. Muller’s, who suddenly becomes entranced when Imhotep mutters an incantation over a cauldron to show him the reincarnation of his lost love, Ankh-es-en-Amon. Mumbling a language she couldn’t possibly know, Helen is compelled to answer Imhotep’s call, only to be stopped by a locked door and promptly faint, with little to no recollection of what happened. Transfixed by the girl, Frank promptly flirts with her with his stories of how they discovered and unwrapped Ankh-es-en-Amon’s tomb, only for Helen to react with distaste for his sacrilege and somewhat mock him for being smitten by a rotting corpse. While this is somehow enough to earn him a snog, the two are horrified to learn that a museum guard was murdered and that the Scroll of Toth (which Whemple somehow recognises despite him never seeing it) was discovered with the body. While Frank and Muller suggest burning the cursed object, they’re interrupted by Ardath Bay, who’s immediately captivated by Helen and her striking resemblance to his long-dead lover, entrancing the confused girl with the faded memories of her past life. Suspicious of Ardath Bay, Frank and the others confront and quiz him, compelling him to reveal his true identity and to demand the scroll or die (a strange demand considering he had the scroll) and showcasing his ability to hypnotise anyone with Egyptian blood as he brainwashes their Nubian servant (Johnson). Although Whemple resolves to burn the scroll, Imhotep watches from his cauldron and commands the Nubian to intercept him, murdering the old man but ultimately fooling no one with some burned newspaper. Unable to resist Imhotep, Helen returns to the museum and, while spellbound, learns of her past like in ancient Egypt.

Condemned for sacrilege, Imhotep is determined to be reunited with his long-dead love.

Back in the day, Imhotep was besotted by Ankh-es-en-Amon but heartbroken when she died of some illness. Defying the Gods and her father, “Pharoh” Amenophis (James Crane), Imhotep stole the Scroll of Thoth but was buried alive with it when his scheme to resurrect her was discovered. Though Helen’s conflicted, she begs Frank to confine her to her room, terrified of what might happen, leading Imhotep to further manipulate his underlings to reunite his love’s soul with her reincarnated body. Luckily, Boris Karloff provides an enigmatic performance as the titular mummy as this was a chore to sit through. While Imhotep gives Karloff the chance to showcase his range, he’s hardly a terrifying force, even when a decomposing figure, and comes across more like a bored narcoleptic who watches events from his cauldron and threatens people with his scarab ring. The film is more of a bizarre love story, with Imhotep professing a timeless love that he’s carried throughout a restless death and which has seemingly allowed Ankh-es-en-Amon to resurrect throughout the ages. Though Frank can’t compete with Imhotep’s lovelorn declarations, he’s at least alive and doesn’t look like a dried-out sultana so Imhotep plots to kill him, thus removing his rival and any doubt in Helen’s heart. Helen seems into both men, even though she barely knows Frank and Imhotep essentially hypnotises her to make her docile and thus vulnerable for him to kill and perform some mumbo-jumbo to return Ankh-es-en-Amon’s soul to her restored body. While Imhotep seemingly murders those in his way, he seems quite careless as he lost the Scroll of Toth and was forced to demand it. Equally, he’s held at bay (Ardath Bay, you might say…) by a protective amulet and prefers to let the Nubian do all his busy work since he must sit around mumbling incantations, spying on people, or creeping them out with his odd appearance and behaviour.

The Nitty-Gritty:
While I don’t believe for a second that the production filmed in Egypt, I was impressed by the sets and interiors, which are filled with Egyptian artifacts to sell the illusion. Many may not be historically accurate, and the flashback to 1800 BC isn’t very convincing, but there was a clear attempt to make things look a little more elaborate than most Universal Monsters movies. I also appreciated the surprising violence, with a convincing spear impalement and Imhotep describing how the slaves and soldiers present for his burial were executed, and that the film incorporated music (though sporadically) to punctuate dramatic moments. I wish I could say more about Karloff’s make-up but it’s not really that impressive as Imhotep mostly looks drawn and wrinkly. When he’s a desiccated corpse, things are more impressive, but I think a gaunt dummy would’ve been more effective than slathering Karloff in make-up and prosthetics that barely appear for that long. Rather than shambling about as a withered corpse wrapped in tattered bandages, Imhotep waltzes about in a fedora as Ardath Bay, conjuring spells and directing his minions, making him more of a warlock than a mummy. His horror comes from his supernatural abilities, which are limited to hypnotism (and further limited to only affecting those with Egyptian blood). He showcases no superhuman strength or wizardry, instead being a letch who relentlessly pursues, mesmerises, and manipulates others, meaning The Mummy is more about the fear of being controlled than the fear of some ancient creature.

In the end, the ineffectual Imhotep is undone by the Gods in anti-climactic fashion.

Confined to her room and watched like a hawk, Helen’s condition worsens the more she’s kept from Imhotep and the more he tries to reach her with his curses. Luckily, Frank is stupid enough to remove his amulet and take a nap, barely saving himself from Imhotep’s killing curse but nonetheless powerless to keep the Mummy from bewitching Helen. When Helen reaches the museum, her personality has been replaced by Ankh-es-en-Amon, though Imhotep still plans to murder Helen with the most unconvincing dagger I’ve ever seen and then reading from the Scroll of Toth to return Ankh-es-en-Amon’s soul to Helen’s body, allowing them to rekindle their love as undead mummies. Surprisingly, Ankh-es-en-Amon resists this, wishing to inhabit Helen’s young and supple body, and Helen’s personality also struggles against the Mummy, though neither can resist Imhotep’s hypnotic power. After being revived, Frank and Muller rush to Helen’s aid, only to be held back by Imhotep’s spooky scarab ring. This distraction is enough for Ankh-es-en-Amon to beg the Goddess Isis for aid. Incredibly, this works and the statue of Isis lurches to life, pointing an ankh at Imhotep that dispels his power over the Nubian and burns the Scroll of Toth. This also causes Imhotep to (somewhat) rapidly rot and turn to a mere skeleton, clattering to the floor. If you thought this was an abrupt end, the film then doubles down by suddenly cutting to black and the end credits after Frank calls to Helen to return to her body. Admittedly, it’s potentially left ambiguous whether this worked as it could’ve just as easily been Ankh-es-en-Amon who woke up, but I was so bored and annoyed by the film that I really didn’t care and was glad that it was finally over!

The Summary:
My God, this was a chore to watch. I’ve seen The Mummy before and didn’t remember it being this bad, but it really is one of the most boring Universal Monsters movies I’ve seen. I’ve never been the biggest fan of the concept, despite my love for Egyptian superstition and history, but The Mummy really impressed with its sets, attention to detail (historical accuracy be damned), and overall presentation. Sure, we never get a proper look at Cairo or any exteriors, but the interiors and artifacts and such really sold the illusion for me. It’s a shame it’s filled with a bunch of stupid-ass characters who are little more than walking clichés. Zita Johann captures the camera with her beauty, effortlessly showcasing Helen’s confusion and allure, though I would’ve liked to see more of Ankh-es-en-Amon’s personality and how it differed from Helen’s. Frank was just kind of there and I honestly got some of the male leads mixed up as I struggled to sit through this one, though it was amusing seeing them all rendered ineffectual and the day being saved by both a woman and a Goddess. Boris Karloff stole the show with his acting and range, rather than being buried under heavy make-up, but I found the titular Mummy to be a weak and ineffectual character. He wasn’t scary (unless you’re afraid of being hypnotised), he didn’t really do anything (any kills that could be attributed to him were offscreen), and he was defeated with ridiculous ease. Even if you view The Mummy as a bizarre love story rather than a horror, it falls apart under close scrutiny thanks to a questionable script, bone-headed characters, and the concept running out of steam early on. It’s such a shame as there could’ve been something really special here but there aren’t even any impressive make-up effects or chilling moments to salvage this one and it’s easily the most forgettable of the Universal Monsters movies, in my opinion, and far surpassed by the 1999 remake.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Do you think I was too harsh on The Mummy? Perhaps you’re a fan of this one; if so, why? Were you disappointed that Imhotep wasn’t more monstrous or did you enjoy seeing Boris Karloff’s range? What did you think to the presentation of the film and the depiction of ancient Egypt? Were you entranced by the love story angle or did you also find the film a slog to sit through? Which version of the Mummy is your favourite and how are you celebrating Halloween this year? Share your thoughts on The Mummy in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Mummy reviews.

Screen Time: Agatha All Along

Dr. K1 Comment

Air Date: 18 September 2024 to 30 October 2024
Network: Disney+
Stars: Kathryn Hahn, Joe Locke, Aubrey Plaza, Debra Jo Rupp, Sasheer Zamata, Ali Ahn, and Patti LuPone

The Background:
Created by the legendary writer/artist duo of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, aged witch Agatha Harkness first appeared in Marvel Comics back in 1970 and has been at the forefront of many magical adventures, tutoring Wanda Maximoff/The Scarlet Witch and often associated with the mystical Darkhold tome. After becoming an unprecedented cinematic success, the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) expanded into television ventures through the Disney+ streaming service. WandaVision (Shakman, 2021) was one of their first and most successful efforts for its exploration of Wanda’s (Elizabeth Olsen) fractured mental state and fun exploration of television eras. The miniseries also introduced Katherine Hahn as a radically different version of Agatha Harkness, one who became a breakout character thanks to her catchy theme song. After WandaVision head writer Jac Schaeffer signed a three-year television deal, he repeatedly suggested Agatha in his pitches, prompting MCU head honcho Kevin Feige to sign off on a dark comedy Agatha-centric spin-off that was to be the second part of a loosely connected trilogy. Initially titled Agatha: House of Harkness, the show underwent numerous title changes before eventually settling on Agatha All Along as a metatextual joke. A team of writers were assembled to offer further insight into Agatha’s character, casting her as a manipulative anti-hero through whom they could further satirise television genres and expand upon the supernatural aspects of the MCU by drawing from popular culture. With many effects realised through practical means and boasting another popular earworm, Agatha All Along sparked much debate over its inclusion of Lady Death and bringing back actors from WandaVision. Agatha All Along attracted 9.3 million global views in its first week and was widely regarded as one of the better MCU streaming shows. Reviews praised the focus on character relationships, Agatha’s theatrical (yet nuanced) performance, and its depiction of queer characters. While some criticised the show’s repetitive formula and bloated premise, the overall reception was very positive and Hahn was enthusiastic about reprising her role in future MCU projects.

The Plot:
Three years after being trapped by a spell, witch Agatha Harkness (Hahn) escapes and travels the mythical “Witches’ Road” to regain her powers alongside a new coven of witches.

The Review:
Much like WandaVision, Agatha All Along begins in something of a fantasy world, with Agatha living a crime drama fantasy as “Detective Agnes O’Connor” that the residents of Westview tolerate and even encourage to keep her placated. While Agnes of Westview only lasts for the first episode, “Seekest Thou the Road” (Schaeffer, 2024), the spirit of WandaVision is further evoked when Agatha and her coven journey across the Witches’ Road and revisit the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s, dressing accordingly and even dealing with supernatural elements not dissimilar from The Exorcist (Friedkin, 1973) and Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead films (1981 to 1992). Enchanted by Wanda as recompense for her heinous actions, Agatha spends three years believing herself to be a tough, no-nonsense Westview detective called to solve a murder frustrated by Federal Agent Rio Vidal (Plaza). While Agnes begrudgingly shares her theories with Vidal, the agent appears coy, questioning her lifestyle choices and her ties to Westview, adding to Agnes’s frustration and unease. This is only exacerbated when Agnes almost pieces together that the victim’s book was the Darkhold, a mythical tome that corrupts anyone it touches. When questioned by Vidal over pizza and beer, Agnes as a mind blank regarding her life outside of Westview and cannot remember why she hates Vidal beyond Agnes being naturally abrasive. After apprehending a teenage thief (Locke) who breaks into her house searching for the “Road” and unnerves Agnes with an incantation, Agnes’s true memories finally return (with some prodding by the mysterious Vidal). Incensed that Wanda has taken her powers, Agatha scuffles with Vidal, seemingly a fellow witch who begrudgingly allows Agatha to regain her full strength for a more competitive battle but alerts the venge-seeking “Salem Seven” to Agatha’s location.

After a lifetime of killing witches, Agatha forms a new coven to travel the Witches’ Road.

Though initially dismissive of “Teen” (whom she comes to regard as a “pet”), Agatha’s intrigued when she cannot learn his name or anything about him due to a “glamour” cast by a magical sigil. Impressed that Teen broke the Scarlet Witch’s curse, Agatha uses him as a chauffeur and he enthusiastically joins her in recruiting a new coven to walk the Witches’ Road, a legendary pilgrimage that promises power to those who overcome its trials. Agatha All Along reveals that Agatha has a horrendous reputation as a witch killer not just because she sacrificed her coven and mother, Evanora (Kate Forbes), but also because she actively murdered her fellow witches alongside her reluctant son, Nicholas Scratch (Abel Lysenk). “Maiden Mother Crone” (Monteiro, 2024) reveals that Agatha provoked other witches into attacking her, allowing her to drain their magic and lifeforce, and the miniseries repeatedly states that Agatha is largely responsible for the negative reputation associated with witches, who were generally kind and compassionate before Agatha inspired lynch mobs to hunt them down. Consequently, Agatha encounters resistance when recruiting her coven, with Lilia Calderu (LuPone), Jennifer “Jen” Kale (Zamata), and Alice Wu-Gulliver (Ahn) only signing up because they’ve also lost their powers or become shells of their former selves. While Teen is very supportive of Agatha and enthusiastic about the quest, the others are sceptical, unified only by their mutual dislike of Agatha and their desire to regain their powers. Since Agatha claims to have walked the Witches’ Road before, they’re forced to defer to her experience, only to find her reluctant to participate in many of the trials and constantly withholding key information from them, leading either to their deaths or dissension as the journey becomes more perilous. Indeed, Agatha knows far more than she’s letting on, constantly manipulating events to suit her grander plan, though she does become very protective of Teen, primarily because he reminds her of her lost son.

While the Witches’ Road spells doom for the coven, they briefly benefit from their time with Agatha.

While Lilia has no interest in joining the coven and is content as a fortune teller, Jen runs a successful (if dubious) skin care business, and Alice is perfectly happy believing the Witches’ Road is merely a fairytale that made her mother (Elizabeth Anweis) a rock star and led to her death, the three begrudgingly join the coven to regain their magic and out of curiosity regarding the Road. Each is chosen according to the legendary “Ballad of the Witches’ Road”, which calls for witches proficient in different magics, and each has their craft testing by the Road. Jen, who was accidentally bound by Agatha a hundred years ago, is pushed to cobble together an antidote in “Through Many Miles / Of Tricks and Trials” (Goldberg, 2024) and even saves Teen’s life after he’s injured conjuring the winged demon that’s cursed Alice’s bloodline. Alice learns that her mother performed “The “Ballad of the Witches’ Road” to protect her from this curse and gets to put it to rest before unexpectedly dying trying to save Agatha. Equally, the Road gives Lilia the chance to finally feel a sense of belonging after being left despondent at failing to save her previous coven with her clairvoyancy, which sees her experience time in a non-linear way and therefore appear crazy. The one outlier is Agatha’s kindly neighbour, Sharon Davis (Rupp), returning from WandaVision, who’s duped into joining the coven and dies during their first trial since they’re too busy squabbling to work together. She’s replaced by Vidal, an unpredictable and sadistic green witch who refuses to elaborate on her true relationship with Agatha, which is repeatedly depicted as frosty. Although the group are largely suspicious of each other, particularly the enthusiastic Teen and the untrustworthy Agatha, they soon bond, sharing stories of their personal tragedies and regrets, resulting in Jen being distraught when Lilia sacrifices herself in “Death’s Hand in Mine” (Schaeffer, 2024).

Initially supportive of Agatha and enduring the Road’s trials, Teen’s true power comes to the forefront.

Much of the miniseries revolves around the mystery of Teen, a talented but inexperienced witchling who carries a pocketbook of spells and is eager to travel the Road to gain ultimate power. Agatha is intrigued by his true nature and becomes very attached to him, pleading with Jen to save him in “If I Can’t Reach You / Let My Song Teach You” (Goldberg, 2024), but ultimately unable to deny her selfish nature. Like Agatha, Teen gets a spotlight episode in “Familiar by Thy Side” (Monteiro, 2024) that reveals he’s more than just a familiar face from WandaVision. Originally William Kaplan, Teen died in a car crash caused by Wanda’s Westview Hex and was possessed by the soul of her son, Billy. However, Kaplan awoke with amnesia and to find he could read minds, finding only worry in the heads of his parents (Maria Dizzia and Paul Adelstein) and living the next six years with no idea of who he really was. Supported by his boyfriend, Eddie (Miles Gutierrez-Riley), Kaplan meets with traumatised former Westview resident Ralph Bohner (Evan Peters) and learns of Wanda, her kids, and Agatha, realising what happened and believing that the Witches’ Road could lead him to his twin brother, Tommy (Jett Klyne). Thus, Teen breaks into Agatha’s house where she was living out her cop drama fantasy and deceives her into letting him tag along, unaware that she suspected his true identity when the Witches’ Road turned out to be real and not a con she’d made up. Though protected by Lilia’s sigil, Teen’s powers are unstable, manifesting when his emotions are at their peak, yet Agatha sees the potential in him to wield the same destructive powers as his mother. While Teen comes to resent and reject Agatha, refusing to trust her and renouncing the Witches’ Road, her tutelage allows him to locate Tommy’s soul and bind it to a dying boy, resurrecting him somewhere in the world. Teen also embraces his dual identity and even receives a glow up in “Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End” (Monteiro, 2024), wearing a variation of his Wiccan costume and coming to Agatha’s aid against Death.

Death easily eclipses the forgettable Salem Seven with her alluring and psychotic charisma.

While Agatha is pursued by the twisted, malformed Salem Seven throughout the miniseries, they’re a minor nuisance, at best. A monstrous hive mind comprised of the children of Agatha’s first coven, they occasionally accost the group across the Witches’ Road before being killed by Liana’s sacrifice. The Witches’ Road also causes the coven a lot of grief, forcing them to complete trials based around dubious riddles, which sees them cobbling together an antidote, summoning and destroying the demon plaguing Alice, and battling the spirit of Agatha’s vengeful mother, who possesses Agatha and encourages the coven to leave her deceitful ass behind. Despite her faults, the coven sticks by Agatha to see the journey through, only for her villainous behaviour to repeatedly bite them since she can’t help but be selfish and abrasive. Liana’s tarot reading reveals that Vidal is actually the personification of death, who’s depicted as a terrifying figure with a job to do. Having had a past sexual relationship with Agatha, Death is more compassionate towards her than others, “gifting” Agatha six years with her son and demanding Billy’s life in exchange for Agatha’s as he’s an insult to the natural order. Though Agatha initially delivers on this promise, she’s convinced to sacrifice herself since Billy reminds her of her son and dies protecting him, knowing her spirit would return. In truth, the true enemy in Agatha All Along is Agatha herself as she spent centuries draining the magic and life from her fellow witches, deceiving them with stories of the Witches’ Road only to dupe them into attacking her. When the Witches’ Road suddenly became real thanks to Billy’s unpredictable magic and vivid imagination, Agatha adapted and fostered the myth, manipulating events to gain the power she so lusted after. However, Agatha’s horrified when Billy tries to banish her to the afterlife since she cannot face her son and, somewhat remorseful for her past deeds, agrees to help him find Tommy as promised.

The Summary:
Agatha All Along acts as the perfect companion to WandaVision and Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Raimi, 2022), being coy about Wanda’s fate and showing the effect her actions had on others. Indeed, Westview remains fearful of the Scarlet Witch, choosing not to say her name or interfere with Agatha’s eccentricities since they all suffered greatly at both their hands. Ralph is especially scarred by his time as Agatha’s puppet, reduced to a paranoid hermit who sells tales of his experiences to Reddit users. While Teen never regains William’s memories and largely puts on a front to keep his parents from worrying about him, he also doesn’t acknowledge Wanda as his mother and is simply looking to discover who he is. That Teen is a queer character with a clear goth fixation only adds to this, painting him as an outcast in his own skin who’s just trying to belong. Teen believes that reuniting with Tommy will fill the void in his life but, while he’s elated to locate Tommy’s soul, he’s torn at having to nudge Tommy into the body of a recently drowned boy. Indeed, Billy is horrified to learn that he subconsciously created the Witches’ Road, making him responsible for Alice, Liana, and Sharon’s deaths. Agatha tries to alleviate his guilt by stating that she was going to kill them anyway and pointing out that he technically saved Jen, who regains her magic and confidence and flies off to an uncertain future, but it’s the search for Tommy that really gives Billy a sense of focus by the end. Though he’s the son of her enemy, Teen has a significant impact on Agatha as she sees him as a surrogate son and she repeatedly keeps him out of harm’s way across the Road. While this is for her own selfish ends, she goes out of her way to help him in “Follow Me My Friend / To Glory at the End” and ultimately choses to die in his place after initially being happy to hand him over to Death.

Travelling the Witches’ Road is perilous but nonetheless brings the coven together in entertaining ways.

I was happy to see Agatha All Along lean into the horror genre, presenting a unique take on witches (that they’re naturally kind-hearted and only have a bad reputation because of Agatha) and finally bringing Lady Death into the MCU, casting her as a necessary companion to those who have passed, a spurned lover, and a sadistic psychopath. The clear influence of classic horror films is felt throughout the miniseries, with possessed characters bending, contorting, and scurrying in unnatural ways, the coven messing around with a Ouija board, and introducing ghosts to the MCU. The miniseries also draws upon fairy tales and classic cinema, which subconsciously influence Billy’s interpretation of the Witches’ Road, and tells a heart-warming story of these down-and-out misfits coming together for a common cause. Each of the coven has been wronged by Agatha, either directly or indirectly, and each is looking to gain something from the Road. Poor Sharon is the exception, whisked along with the promise of adventure and being poisoned and constantly dismissed by Agatha after her death. While Alice also ends up dead, she dies protecting someone and finally exorcises her literal demons, though she’s initially dismayed at not getting to live free from the curse. Jen and Liana greatly benefit from the pilgrimage, finally regaining their confidence and their abilities, with Liana finally feeling like she belongs after being alone for so long. Each has heard of the Witches’ Road thanks not just to Alice’s mother’s popular song but the story being popular among the witch community, and each finds themselves tested by the increasingly dangerous and obtuse trials presented to them. The Witches’ Road is a perilous place that constantly pushes the coven onwards and shows them their worst fears, forcing Agatha to be confronted by her past misdeeds and exposing her deceitful nature for all to see.

Scheming, deceitful Agatha seemingly seeks atonement by the conclusion of this enjoyable miniseries.

Katherine Hahn stole the show as Agatha, being just the right level of theatrical and dramatic and slowly depicting Agatha’s desperation manifest in aggression and spite as the miniseries progressed. A despicable, selfish character, Agatha seeks only more power and relishes stealing from others, leading them on with stories of the Witches’ Road and caring little for integrating into the witch community (or any society). It’s not made clear why she’s driven to kill, but she doesn’t stop, even when raising Nicholas, and seemingly turns her grief against her kind after he’s taken from her. Bitter and twisted, she’s perfectly happy to manipulate anyone she can and easily adapts to any situation to turn it to her advantage, encouraging stories about her and flaunting her feared reputation. Agatha All Along avoids descending into a big CGI light show battle, emphasising the futility of fighting Death, and instead hinges its confrontations and finale on interpersonal drama and overcoming physical and emotional challenges. The visual identity of the miniseries was captivating, fully committing to its horror aspects and presenting a twisted forest full of dangers and surprises. I liked that the witches couldn’t use their magic and had to come up with different ways to pass their trials, and that Agatha was forced to manipulate events when Billy conjured the Witches’ Road. Even dying was part of her plan, with her continuing on as a spirit and seemingly committed to atoning for (some of) her past by guiding Billy to Tommy and even honouring her coven. It was fun spotting all the references to classic horror films, and enjoying the different variations of “The Ballad of the Witches’ Road”, and learning more about how witches function in the MCU. The miniseries shines most in the way the characters interact, begrudgingly forming a coven and learning to work together and care for each, bickering the entire time and bringing a lot of energy to the show. I’m interested to see what’s next for Agatha and Billy and how this all pays off in the wider picture of the MCU, but I’d be more than happy to see future miniseries for both and in this world going forward.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Agatha All Along? What did you think of Katherine Hahn’s performance and the additional lore afforded to Agatha? Which of the coven was your favourite and did you guess that there was more to Teen and Vidal? What did you think of the Witches’ Road and the way Agatha fostered the legend for her own ends? Were you disappointed that there wasn’t a more spectacular fight between Agatha and Death? Would you like to see more from these characters, and are there any specific Agatha Harkness stories and moments you’d like to see in the future? Whatever your thoughts on Agatha All Along, leave them below, check out my other Marvell content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more reviews like this.

Movie Night: Hellboy: Director’s Cut

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 19 October 2004
Originally Released: 2 April 2004
Director: Guillermo del Toro
Distributor: Columbia Pictures / Revolution Studios[
Budget: $60 to 66 million
Stars: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, Doug Jones/David Hyde Pierce, Rupert Evans, Karel Roden, and John Hurt

The Plot:
Raised by the kindle Professor Trevor Bruttenholm/Broom (Hurt) to be a paranormal investigator, unruly half-man, half-demon Hellboy (Perlman) finds his dramatic life upended when immortal warlock Grigori Rasputin (Roden) conspires to bring about the apocalypse.

The Background:
After years of bringing his trademark dark, moody art style to both independent and mainstream comics, monster-loving artist and comic creator Mike Mignola got his big break in 1993 with Hellboy, a character he evolved over time into distinctively Lovecraftian comics and spin-offs. Long-time fan and celebrated auteur Guillermo del Toro campaigned for years to bring the character to the big-screen with Ron Perlman in the role, forming a close relationship with Mignola when the artist consulted on Blade II (del Toro, 2002), with production finally starting after that film’s critical and commercial success. Largely inspired by Hellboy’s debut story, del Toro tweaked both his origin and characterisation to focus on Hellboy being torn between right and wrong and add a tragic romanticism to his character. Jake Garber brought Hellboy to life with some impressive make-up and prosthetics, which required Perlman to spend at least four hours getting kitted out, while Rick Baker designed his prosthetic stone hand and the CGI was handled by Tippett Studios. David Hyde Pierce provided the voice of Abe Sapien but refused to take credit or be associated with the marketing out of respect for Doug Jones’s physical work while Spectral Motion handled the many practical effects used to bring Mignola’s distinctive art to life. Though it attracted criticism for its controversial title its $99.8 million gross made it a box office bomb, Hellboy became an instant cult classic. Reviews praised the fun action, horror-adjacent visuals, and Perlman’s engaging performance, while criticising some of the characterisations. This Director’s Cut released to home media the same year, offering a little over ten minutes of additional footage, a critically and commercially successful sequel followed four years later, but plans for further entries stalled and, much to the dismay of many, led to some comparatively inferior reboots.

The Review:
Much like Hellboy’s first story, “Seed of Destruction” (Mignola, et al, 1993), Hellboy begins near the end of the Second World War. In fact, Hellboy quite faithfully recreates and expands upon the circumstances which led to Hellboy coming to our world, with a young Professor Broom (Kevin Trainor) joining an Army regiment to intercept a Nazi ritual off the coast of Scotland. While the Army is understandably sceptical of the “parabnormal”, Professor Broom’s fears are realised when they find zealot warlock Rasputin in the midst of merging arcane magic with the Third Reich’s advanced technology alongside his lover and devout right hand, Ilsa Haupstein (Bridget Hodson), and Adolf Hitler’s top assassin, the mute, semi-undead Karl Ruprecht Kroenen (Ladislav Beran). Although Rasputin successfully opens a portal to a nightmarish realm beyond our understanding, where the Lovecraftian terror known as the Ogdru Jahad slumber, the Allies interrupt them and successfully close the portal, seemingly killing Rasputin and Kroenen in the process. However, while the portal was open long enough to bring through a tiny demon child. Though startled by the demon’s unsettling appearance, the regiment stands down when Professor Broom proves he’s just a curious and frightened little boy and he’s soon adopted by both the troop and the “unready father”, nicknamed Hellboy and spending the next sixty years secretly working to stop supernatural threats as part of the Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD). While Professor Broom ages in that time, Hellboy is said to be barely out of his twenties and is presented as both an urban legend and unruly child who constantly yearns to be in the public eye, shaving his horns to “fit in” and being grounded whenever he breaks out of the BRPD’s super-secret facility.

Professor Broom despairs of his reckless son, who he sees as the saviour of humankind.

While Professor Broom is exasperated by Hellboy’s irresponsible nature, Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) director and BRPD liaison Thomas “Tom” Manning (Jeffrey Tambor) is tired of doing damage control whenever Hellboy makes headlines and eager to shut the “freak show” down. Realising that his time is running short and concerned that Rasputin and his followers are making a return, Professor Broom recruits FBI agent John Myers (Evans) to take over as Hellboy’s caretaker, confidant, and mentor, casting Myers as our audience surrogate and earning him much distrust and resentment from the unimpressed Hellboy. Presented as a cat-loving, physically imposing and nigh-superhuman figure, Hellboy is fireproof, extremely durable, and well versed in the mystic arts. While he’s a lousy shot with his massive handgun, the “Samaritan”, he loads it with special rounds and carries numerous trinkets, charms, and reliquaries to ward off curses and such. Yet, Hellboy is restless and stubborn, eager to be amongst the public and refusing backup, even from long-time allies like merman-like Abraham “Abe” Sapien (Jones/Pierce) and Agent Clay (John William Johnson), the closest he has to friends. Though deeply ashamed whenever he disappoints his father, Hellboy is snarky and constantly gives Myers a hard time for being a glorified nanny while also being recklessly confident that he can overcome any foe. To be fair, he’s usually right but Hellboy’s arrogance sees him constantly run afoul of the bestial Sammael (Brian Steele), leading to him being beaten up a fair bit, having eggs laid in his forearm, and the deaths of a BRPD squad, much to Manning’s disgust. Having known no other life than the BRPD, Hellboy sees it as “[his] job” to protect the innocent and regards any risk worthwhile to stop monsters and demons from threatening others. While he’s crushed when Abe and Clay are seriously wounded because of his actions, Hellboy lashes out at Manning and Myers, seeing them as threats to both his livelihood and his ego.

Myers makes for a dull surrogate and the chemistry between Hellboy and Liz is severely lacking.

As tough as Hellboy is, his emotions often get the better of him. Indeed, he often escapes from the BRPD to visit Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman (Blair), a troubled pyrokinetic and former BRPD agent who committing herself to an asylum. It’s obvious that Hellboy is madly in love with Liz, but he struggles to articulate these emotions and often makes a fool of himself, descending into a bitter jealousy when Myers gets close to Liz initially to convince her to return and then because he also develops feelings for her. Traumatised by her unpredictable pyrokinetic abilities, Liz chooses the discomfort and security of an asylum over the BRPD largely because it helps her control her abilities and because she wants to fit in, not be surrounded by monsters who remind her that she’s a freak. This draws her closer to the boyish, everyman Myers but she can’t help but be pulled towards Hellboy, who she largely sees as a sibling but clearly has an attraction to since he’s so devoted to her. Abe councils Hellboy, trying to help him move on and using his telepathic and empathic powers to give him advice, but Hellboy’s stubborn nature sees him desperately find the words to express his love for Liz. As awesome as Perlman’s performance is as Hellboy, Jones impresses as the unnerving Abe, who moves like liquid in water and uses his clairvoyance to offer valuable insight. Sadly, Selma Blair lets the trio down, appearing bored and delivering her lines with a distinct lack of emotion. While this does tie into her adopting a stoic guise to keep her powers under control, it makes for a distinct lack of chemistry between her and Hellboy that isn’t helped by some dodgy CGI flame effects.

Though they have their disagreements, Hellboy’s pained by his father’s death and forced to rely on others.

As far as I can tell, Myers has no comic book counterpart and sticks out like a sore thumb. Clay has far more charisma and already has a rapport with Hellboy and the others, so it would’ve been much more interesting to follow a day in his life for the first twenty minutes or so than be stuck with the forgettable Myers, who only exists to give Professor Broom someone to exposit to. As you’d expect, the late, great John Hurt excels as Hellboy’s strict, but fair, father figure. Commanding a wealth of paranormal knowledge and experience, Professor Broom is committed to protecting the world from supernatural threats and sees Hellboy not only as the bridge between the two worlds, but also as the saviour of humankind. This is why he’s so disappointed whenever Hellboy goes off half-cocked. Knowing that he hasn’t got much time left, Professor Broom works to ensure that Hellboy will be both cared for and helped stay on the straight and narrow. His fears about Rasputin again turn out to be true when the BRPD investigates the museum break in that kickstarts the plot, leading to Hellboy’s many run-ins with Sammael, Agent Clay’s ill-fated confrontation with Kroenen, and Professor Broom’s discovery of a message leading them to Moscow. Professor Broom is the. confronted by the mad mage and his clockwork assassin, afforded a brief glimpse of the apocalyptic future Hellboy is destined to bring about, but fearlessly defies Rasputin, ready to face his death. Naturally, Hellboy is devastated by his father’s murder, falling into a brief depression, but willingly joins the BRPD strike team, stomaching Manning’s antagonistic demeanour to get a chance to settle the score and surprisingly finding himself in the hostile director’s debt after finishing off Kroenen, the two developing a mutual respect that again dwarfs Myers’ inclusion.

Rasputin and his monstrous, nigh-immortal followers are fixated of ushering in the apocalypse.

As in “Seed of Destruction”, Hellboy’s primary antagonist is the mad warlock Rasputin, a mysterious and functionally immortal wizard granted incredible dark magic by the Ogdru Jahad. Using an ancient tome and bizarre Nazi science, Rasputin almost achieves his goal of unleashing the “Seven Gods of Chaos” before he’s stopped by the Allies. Death is a mere inconvenience for Rasputin, however, thanks to his eternally youthful and equally immortal followers, who return their master to life with a blood sacrifice and willingly follow him in resurrecting Sammael, a ferocious beast whom Rasputin empowers to resurrect twofold each time it falls. Eager to capture Hellboy, knowing that his stone hand is the key to unleashing the Ogdru Jahad, Rasputin keeps Hellboy occupied and drive him towards his elaborate mausoleum in Moscow to complete his ritual. Returning from death more powerful, and with more of the Ogdru Jahad’s influence in him, Rasputin is a malicious, cold-hearted villain who nonetheless shows respect towards Professor Broom and permits him a merciful death. Though Ilsa doesn’t get much to do beyond lusting after her master and following his every whim, Kroenen makes a hell of an impression with his wind-up body, deft skill with blades, and intimidating masked visage. A heavily scarified, zombie-like figure, Kroenen easily cuts down groups of armed foes (though largely bloodlessly) and seems to delight in murdering anyone who gets in his way, easily fooling the BRPD by playing dead and killing those closest to Hellboy. Hellboy primarily tussles with Sammael and its kin throughout the film, finding the creature ruthless and as pig-headed as him thanks to its supernatural ability to rapidly heal and resurrect upon death. A slobbering, voracious beast who pounces upon its prey, Sammael tears through the BRPD, injures Abe, and constantly dogs Hellboy in some fun, action-packed fights.

The Nitty-Gritty:
My knowledge and experience of Hellboy may be lacking since I mainly know him from the films, but as far as I’m aware Hellboy sticks somewhat close to the source material while also diverging in numerous ways. For starters, Hellboy is presented as an urban legend, one Manning is keen to keep under wraps, rather than being the “World’s Greatest Paranormal Investigator”. This acts as the backbone for much of the plot and Hellboy’s arc, with him eager to get into the spotlight and relishing showing off before the public. Secondly, Hellboy changes Hellboy’s relationship with Liz, giving him a long-standing crush on the apathetic pyromaniac and presenting a largely humorous side plot of him sabotaging Myers when he gets close to Liz. Ironically, Hellboy asks Myers for help in articulating his feelings and Myers reluctantly offers him advice, despite his own feelings for Liz. Ultimately, Professor Broom’s death gives Hellboy the courage to admit his devotion to Liz, understanding that his demonic visage reminds her that she’s different and she’s looking for someone who makes her feel normal, seemingly stepping aside in favour of Myers while still vowing to always be there for her. Thirdly, Hellboy places far greater emphasis on Hellboy’s relationship with Professor Broom, who was offed pretty quickly into “Seed of Destruction.” Here, we see the dynamics of the unlikely father/son relationship, with Professor Broom despairing of Hellboy’s reckless antics and this brutish demon reduced to an ashamed child whenever his father gives him a disapproving look. It’s a great twist and makes Professor Broom’s death even more of a blow since we see how close they are, best showcased when Professor Broom refuses to learn Hellboy’s true name from Rasputin since he already knows what to call him: son.

Despite some dodgy CGI, the practical effects and prosthetics are genuinely impressive throughout.

While Hellboy’s personality may be noticeably different from the source material, painting him as an arrogant and rowdy teenager who pointedly refuses help and must learn to grow up, Ron Perlman delivers a fantastic performance. He nails every nuance of Hellboy’s characterisation, which sees him be sarcastic, enraged, and lovelorn throughout the film. despite clearly being swamped by uncomfortable make-up and prosthetics, Perlman’s emotions still shine through, and I’ve always been a fan of his gravelly delivery. Hellboy looks incredible, sporting a sledgehammer-like stone fist and prehensile tail, crashing through walls and wrestling his foes into submission. While the CGI does the practical effects a disservice, making Hellboy and Sammael unfortunately cartoonish at times, the practical effects more than make up for it. Hellboy and Sammael demolish a subway station, crash through stone walls in a hidden cavern, and tear through the busy night-time streets, with Hellboy flipping a car to protect Myers and Sammael eventually being smushed by a subway train. Kroenen equally impressed in his appearances, slinging his blades around with superhuman dexterity and cutting foes down with a supernatural efficiency. When his true, gruesome form is revealed, it’s a hideous and wholly practical sight that makes me want to know more about this bizarre half-zombie. Practical effects also take centre stage when Hellboy resurrects the desiccated corpse of Ivan Kilimatovich (Unknown), a skeletal torso who guides them through Rasputin’s boobytrapped mausoleum. While many of the hazards contained within are equally practical, such as the heavy doors and crumbling bridge, much of the danger is lost when the obvious CGI rears its head, but it’s all good fun for the most part. The Director’s Cut largely splices deleted and slightly extended scenes back into the film, giving us a scene where Ilsa gifts Rasputin artificial eyes, showing Liz has a touch of OCD and adding a bit more depth to her time with Myers, but there’s nothing all that substantial added.

Hellboy ultimately rejects his demonic heritage to save the world and finally express his love for Liz.

Journeying to Moscow to avenge Professor Broom and stop Rasputin’s maniacal scheme, Hellboy buries the hatchet with Manning after they work together (somewhat) to finish off Kroenen, impaling him on spikes and trapping him under a giant gear. While all the BPRD agents who accompany them are lost to the mausoleum’s booby-traps, Liz destroys Sammael’s nest with a burst of unbridled fury. However, this leaves her and the others weakened, easily allowing Rasputin to capture them. Even Hellboy is rendered powerless by a heavy trap that can only be unlocked by saying his true name, which he’s compelled to do when Rasputin maliciously sucks out Liz’s soul. Defeated and disheartened, Hellboy reluctantly whispers his name (“Anung Un Rama”) and undergoes a horrific transformation, his horns growing out and a flaming crown appearing on his brow. He then willingly uses his stone hand to free the Ogdru Jahad from their crystalline prison and have them begin to manifest amidst a blood moon. However, just as he’s about to unlock the final seal, Hellboy’s brought to his senses by Myers, who begs him to remember his father’s teachings, leading him to break his horns and mortally wound Rasputin with them, having chosen to be a man rather than a demon. Though the Ogdru Jahad are prevented from invading, Rasputin’s death frees a spawn of theirs, the gigantic, tentacled Behemoth, that Hellboy tackles alone after make amends with Myers. Thankfully, Hellboy brought a grenade belt, which he uses to blow the beast to bloody chunks. Heartbroken by Liz’s death, Hellboy whispers a threat to those “on the other side” to let her go or face his wrath, prompting her swift resurrection and the two to finally embrace as lovers. Myers, having earned Hellboy’s trust, delivers the film’s closing narration about nature versus nurture, echoing Professor Broom’s opening narration, though Manning is left waiting impatiently to be rescued!

The Summary:
Although I had no idea who Hellboy was when I first saw this film, I was intrigued by the premise, its ludicrous main character, and the promise of a fun, action-packed supernatural adventure. Indeed, the only reason I am a fan of Hellboy is because of this movie, which is still a favourite of mine. Sure, I have some issues with Myers (he makes for a painfully bland audience surrogate), Linda Blair’s performance (if it’s meant to be this way, it really misses the mark), and some of the dodgy CGI, but the pros far outweigh the cons. Hellboy has a great tongue-in-cheek sense of humour that makes the title character a joy to watch since he’s such a smart ass doofus, while also delivering some decent action sequences that have stood the test of time thanks to top-notch practical effects. The make-up and prosthetics are fantastic, with Hellboy, Abe, and Sammael all having a very tangible and tactile quality to them. Little touches like Abe’s blinking, his malformed hands and gills, and Sammael’s bone-wrenching healing add so much life to these characters, to say nothing of how imposing and impressive Perlman appears under all that getup. Although Hellboy’s characterisation is noticeably different from the comics, it works really well in this context, giving him a meaningful and surprisingly emotional character arc as he learns to focus on the big picture and stop messing around while also accepting help from his allies. I loved his father/son relationship with Professor Broom, his dynamic with Manning, and even appreciated his devotion to Liz, despite their lack of chemistry. Mignola’s art and Lovecraftian inspirations were brought to life wonderfully here, with the Ogdru Jahad being horrifically bizarre, vivid colours popping when necessary and heavy, ominous shadows being used effectively where possible. It’s got some flaws, for sure, but Hellboy is still an extremely enjoyable romp that doesn’t really get talked about all that much these days, which is a shame as there’s a hell of a lot to like here.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Hellboy’s big-screen debut? What did you think to Ron Perlman’s performance, his appearance, and the changes made to Hellboy’s character? Did you also find Myers a dull audience surrogate and the chemistry lacking between Hellboy and Liz? Were you happy with the way the film adapted elements from the comic books? Which Hellboy adaptation is your favourite? Share your thoughts on the first Hellboy movie in the comment and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Hellboy content for the site.

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

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October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day” so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 19 December 1969
Director: Peter R. Hunt
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $7 million
Stars: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti/David de Keyser, and Ilse Steppat

The Plot:
While posing as a genealogist to uncover terrorist mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s (Savalas) mad plot to cause bacteriological warfare through brainwashed agents, British secret agent James Bond/007 (Lazenby) reluctantly romances and falls for the reckless Contessa Teresa “Tracy” di Vicenzo (Rigg).

The Background:
Created by former Navy intelligence officer Ian Fleming. MI6 super spy James Bond was famously brought to life by Sean Connery, beginning a long-running cinematic franchise. However, Connery’s decision to retire from the role sent producers Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman’s plans for the sixth 007 film out of whack as much as the ongoing rights issues regarding Blofeld and the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE). When their top choice to replace Connery, Roger Moore, became unavailable, the producers cast Australian model George Lazenby, who had little acting experience. Director Peter R. Hunt also chose to recast Blofeld with Telly Savalas, seeking a more physical presence for the villain, while Diana Rigg became the latest “Bond Girl” after producers were impressed with her work on The Avengers (1961 to 1969). Although the tabloids claimed Rigg despised Lazenby, the actor later quashed these rumours, though he did refuse to return as 007 out of fears of being typecast. Largely filmed in Switzerland, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service became as famous for its ski sequences as its tragic ending, which saw Hunt purposely wear Lazenby down to force the required emotion from him. Despite its $82 million box office being one of the highest of 1969, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service made considerably less than the previous Bond movies and critics loathed Lazenby’s portrayal and unfairly compared him to Connery. While this led to the producers desperately offering Connery an unprecedented deal to return in the following movie, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is now generally seen as an under-rated entry in the franchise, one praised for its visual beauty and stirring performances.

The Review:
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (OHMSS) features the one and only appearance of George Lazenby as the world-famous super spy. Amusingly, the film sets a tone for subsequent newcomers to the role by largely obscuring Lazenby’s features in the traditional pre-title sequence and slowly introducing his new interpretation of Bond. This is all done with a mixture of brutal action, intrigue, and tongue-in-cheek humour as Bond comments on his inability to get the girl. Once the titles are done, OHMSS apes Bond’s first appearance in these films by sitting him at a poker table and piling up the winnings with casual confidence. Once again, Bond runs into the alluring woman from the opening, whom he saved from an apparent suicide attempt, only to get the cold shoulder even after he bails her out from her poor card playing. Though she agrees to meet him in her hotel room, Bond is once again jumped from behind and gets into another fist fight. When Bond returns to his room and finds the woman, the stubborn Tracy, she denies any knowledge of his attackers and spends the night with him, only to disappear in the morning and for Bond to be coerced into a car. Thus, our introduction to this new Bond is somewhat inconsistent. On the one hand, he has the same look, penchant for cigarettes and fine dining, and card skills as his predecessor and is pretty good in a fight. On the other hand, he’s constantly being jumped at random, keeps getting the brush off from Tracy (who seems to resent his interference), and has no choice but to go along when he’s kidnapped as he’s powerless to do much else. Sure, Sean Connery was in similar positions, but I think it might’ve helped if the opening established Bond was following Tracy as part of his investigation into SPECTRE.

Newcomer Lazenby is as ill-suited to the role as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary.

Bond is taken to meet Tracy’s father, Marc-Ange Draco (Ferzetti/de Keyser), a charismatic mob boss who despairs of his wayward daughter and wishes Bond to “dominate her” to set her straight, even offering him £1 million if he woos and marries her. Though he’s attracted to Tracy, Bond rejects the offer, aghast at being tied down or compromising himself, but changes his mind when Draco agrees to offer information on the whereabouts of Blofeld, SPECTRE’s elusive mastermind. Thus, Bond sets to work cooling Tracy’s cold heart but is angered when he returns to London and his cantankerous superior, “M” (Bernard Lee), relieves him of the Blofeld mission. Although ready to quit in protest, Bond’s granted two weeks leave thanks to the intervention of Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) and heads to Portugal for Draco’s birthday. There, Tracy is incensed to learn that her father is using her as a bartering tool and angrily forces Draco to give Bond the information so he won’t be obligated to waste time with her. However, this is merely a front for the feelings Tracy has developed for the suave secret agent and, having grown fond of her as well, Bond smooths things over and the two properly fall for one another. However, this romance takes a noticeable backseat when Draco points Bond to a law firm, which he swiftly breaks into to discover that Blofeld is posing as Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp and has established a restricted clinical allergy research institute in the Swiss Alps. Bringing his evidence to M, Bond is swiftly allowed to meet with and assume the identity of Sir Hilary Bray (George Baker), a genealogist who’s been asked to verify Blofeld’s ancestry. Adopting an exaggerated accent, ill-fitting clothes, and glasses, Bond is taken to Piz Gloria by Blofeld’s number two, the grim-faced but accommodating Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat), and a curious game of cat-and-mouse begins.

Womanising Bond falls for headstrong Tracy, who loses her edge after having her heart melted by 007.

Unfortunately, this is where OHMSS really falls apart for me. It’s ludicrous to think that Blofeld wouldn’t immediately recognise Bond, whose disguise is somehow worse than the Japanese cosplay he adopted in the previous film, especially after they’ve already met. It’s pretty obvious that Blofeld is aware of the deception from the start and simply plays along to prove his superiority over Bond, or perhaps because he finds it amusing, genuinely believing he has a legitimate claim to being Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp since he has (presumably forged) documentation and has cut off his ear lobes to match the Bleuchamp bloodline. While Bond is as well versed in many subjects as ever, he spends some time with Sir Hillary to learn about genealogy and mimic his mannerisms, appearing to be a meek intellectual who, while exceedingly polite, has little interest in the beautiful women being treated for allergies at Piz Gloria. However, since his disguise is little more than a pipe and a kilt, Bond naturally catches the eye of the patients, who are incredibly horny. Thus, while Bunt enforces strict rules within the clinic, both Bond and the girls sneak out for a few bunk ups, though this seems to merely be a passing distraction for Bond. It also proves to be his undoing, as Bunt surprises him and Blofeld chastises his lustful ways since it was just one of many signs that “Sir Hillary” wasn’t who he claimed to be. Bond’s far more capable when it comes to escaping Blofeld’s compound, skiing to safety only to be relentlessly hounded in Lauterbrunnen. This is when Tracy finally returns, rescuing Bond, and he spontaneously decides he’s so in love with her that he wants to marry her and give up his violent lifestyle and womanising ways.

Blofeld and his operation have undergone a significant facelift but are still bent on chaos.

After finally being revealed as a scheming, disfigured criminal mastermind in the previous film, Blofeld has spent the last two years transforming into the fetching, silver-tongued director of a special clinic for those suffering from crippling allergies. Charismatic and sophisticated, Blofeld charms his patients and commends their progress and is so confident in his allure that he even tries to seduce Tracy after kidnapping her from an avalanche. To the outside world, Blofeld is a reclusive and private individual whose clinic is so restricted that unauthorised visitors are shot at and turned away on sight. Oddly, it seems Blofeld has the perfect setup at Piz Gloria but he draws undue attention to himself by claiming to be Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp, something which has little relevance to his true, mad plot. While Blofeld has successfully cured or aided his patients’ allergies using hypnosis, he’s also been brainwashing them into being his unsuspecting “Angels of Death”, charging them with unleashing a biological agent that will render all plant and animal life impotent. Blofeld’s endgame is to hold the world to ransom, threatening famine and extinction unless he’s given amnesty for his crimes and the title of Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp. While we don’t get to see this chemical agent in action, Blofeld provides a small sample to the United Nations and keeps Bond prisoner to verify his threat, confident that his demands will be met before a cure is inevitably found. So horrifying is Blofeld’s threat that the world’s governments agree to roll over, pointedly refusing Bond’s demands to launch a strike on Piz Gloria and cut Blofeld off from commanding his Angels of Death. Thus, Bond turns to his future father-in-law, Draco, who happily agrees to lead an assault on Piz Gloria to both rescue Tracy (though their haphazard gunfire says otherwise) and stop Blofeld’s mad scheme.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve always found OHMSS to be a particularly dull Bond movie, and Lazenby’s mediocre turn as the character is only part of it. The film lacks a punchy title song, preferring excerpts of Louis Armstrong’s “We Have All the Time in the World”, a fittingly smoochy and emotional tune that hits doubly hard during the tragic finale.  Additionally, Bond noticeably lacks any fun gadgets; “Q” (Desmond Llewelyn) is merely a cameo and the best we get is a massive safe picking machine, a deconstructed sniper rifle, and a bog-standard printer/copier. I am a fan of the romance angle, though, of Bond learning there’s more to life than random hook ups and his staunch commitment to Queen and Country. However, the execution is lacking. I liked that Tracy initially appeared forthright and almost dismissive of Bond, barely caring that he was getting roughed up or giving him the time of day. However, Draco is right when he notices that Tracy “likes [him]” but is hiding behind a stubborn façade as Tracy falls for Bond like any other woman. She even acknowledges that Bond is unlikely to return those feelings, and yet helps him Lauterbrunnen and is so delighted by his proposal that she cries tears of happiness every time he’s around. The shadow of Tracy’s former, headstrong self resurfaces when she’s held captive by Blofeld as she attempts to disarm him with her beauty and even puts up a decent fight against his men, but she loses so much of her edge so quickly that it’s hard to see why Bond falls for her as she simply becomes another pretty girl who’s besotted by him. I also rate OHMSS poorly because it’s such a slog, churning along at a snail’s pace and placing so much focus on Bond’s ridiculous infiltration of Piz Gloria that wouldn’t have fooled a blind man!

A beautiful, but largely dull movie best known for its snowy locations and ski-chase sequences.

Still, there are some positives to OHMSS. The film is very beautiful, with the snowy Swiss Alps providing a gorgeous backdrop for Blofeld’s compound. While his facility isn’t as memorable as a hollowed-out volcano launch base, it is very slick and futuristic, forcing Bond to find ways to escape his confinement and brainwashing the girls to follow Blofeld’s commands. Bond gets into a lot of scuffles in OHMSS, generally emerging unscathed after summarily drowning his foes, flinging them off the Swiss Alps or tumbling into a wood chipper, and constantly lashing out to catch his capturers off-guard. Naturally, most chases occur either in the snow or down the dangerous Swiss Alps, with the finest rear projection money selling the illusion that the actors are in the thick of it. All joking aside, the skiing sequences are really fun. It is bizarre that Blofeld’s henchman can’t hit their target when there’s no cover around, but then they are rocketing down a mountain at high speed so I’ll forgive it. Seeing them careen off the side is quite harrowing, and watching Blofeld set off an avalanche to bury his hated foe made for an exciting sequence (though it’s a little unbelievable that Bond survived). There are also a couple of car chases here, but the big action set piece comes when Bond and Draco assault Blofeld’s lair. Strangely, considering how fortified the compound appears, Blofeld has no anti-aircraft guns and is initially easily deceived by Draco’s claims to be on a mercy mission. His men are thus ill-equipped against a full-scale assault, easily being gunned down and blown over balconies when Bond attacks. OHMSS utilises some impressive miniatures to showcase Piz Gloria’s destruction, though there’s a painfully noticeable delay (even by Bond movie standards) between Draco’s wristwatch, the bomb timer, and Bond and Blofeld escaping the compound before it blows.

Blofeld spitefully returns to deliver a tragic blow to Bond in the shocking finale.

Having narrowly escaped, Blofeld stumbles down the mountainside with Bond in hot pursuit. Any sense of poise, composure, and authority is evaporated once Blofeld speeds off in a bobsleigh, desperately taking pot shots at Bond and comically fumbling with a grenade! Desperate to get his man, Bond doesn’t let a little thing like being blown from his bobsleigh slow him down and gets into a clumsy fist fight with the SPECTRE head that ends with Blofeld seemingly killed by a branch. Seemingly victorious, Bond makes good on his promise and marries Tracy before friends and family. Though obviously heartbroken, even Miss Moneypenny is pleased for Bond and the ceremony allows former enemies M and Draco to reminisce on previous encounters between their organisations. Elated to have found a woman worth settling down for, Bond and Tracy drive towards a seemingly happy future, already planning to build a family together. However, their overly decorated wedding car draws much attention and Bond realises that he never bought his wife a gift, or flowers, so he pulls over to strip the vehicle and share a sweet moment with Tracy. Unfortunately for him, Blofeld not only survived their anti-climatic battle but returns with a vengeance, barrelling towards them at high speed (comically sporting a neck brace) alongside Bunt. Bond barely has time to flinch before Bunt unloads with a machine gun but is determined to chase after the villain. However, Bond’s horrified to see that Tracy has been killed by a bullet to the forehead. As a passing motorist stops by, Bond cradles his dead wife, barely holding back tears, and briefly taking solace in denial before succumbing to a grief that would come to define much of his later characterisation.

The Summary:
I’ve never been a fan of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and have long held the belief that the film would’ve struggled to impress me even if Sean Connery or Roger Moore had been in the role. Connery being Bond would’ve made things simpler, for sure, but I doubt even his magnetic presence would help with the uneven tone, slow pacing, and more ridiculous elements. As I understand it, many consider George Lazenby to be an under-rated Bond actor, though I disagree. He barely has the look, certainly doesn’t have the acting chops or screen presence, and is as thoroughly unconvincing as Bond as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary. Lazenby’s flaws are only exacerbated whenever he shares the screen with the charismatic Draco, the stunning Tracy, or the captivating Blofeld. While it annoys me that Blofeld is no longer scarred or a devious psychopath, Telly Savalas oozes charm and commands the screen, easily overshadowing Bond and yet portraying Blofeld so differently that he may as well have been a different villain. I did like the concept behind Tracy and her romance with Bond, but it was a mistake to make this a glorified side-plot and for her to disappear for the middle portion of the film. It might’ve been better to have her infiltrate Blofeld’s compound under the guise of needing treatment, or for her to have attended Blofeld’s facility and need to be freed from his control…anything to get her involved in the second act and avoid the nonsense Sir Hillary aspect. Admittedly, it was amusing seeing Bond work his way through the Angels of Death, but also a shitty move considering he was supposed to be in love with Tracy. The skiing sequences and explosive finale were decent, but the bobsleigh chase was laughable and OHMSS greatly suffers from a lack of memorable gadgets. The only reason anyone remembers it is the tragic and dramatic ending, which shows Bond at his most vulnerable and hits like a blow to the gut. However, this isn’t enough to elevate OHMSS, which remains one of my least favourite Bond movies and a mere footnote in the character’s history, which is a shame considering how relevant its finale was to future interpretations of the character.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Do you think I’m being too harsh on On Her Majesty’s Secret Service or do you agree that it’s one of the weaker Bond movies? Are you a fan of George Lazenby or do you agree that he was miscast? What did you think to Telly Savalas’s less monstrous version of Blofeld? Were you left devastated by the ending? Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating James Bond this month? Whatever you think about On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, or James Bond in general, feel free to leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more 007 content for the site.

Movie Night: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

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Released: 4 November 1994
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Distributor: TriStar Pictures / Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $45 million
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Robert De Niro, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn, and Ian Holm

The Plot:
Obsessed with preventing death, eccentric scientist Victor Frankenstein (Branagh) patches together a monstrous being (De Niro), who embarks on malicious crusade when its creator rejects it.

The Background:
In a bid to tell a story that spoke to “the mysterious fears of our nature” while snowed in in Geneva, eighteen year old Mary Shelley dreamed up Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus in 1818, attracting much controversy for its blasphemous content and producing a celebrated piece of literary fiction. Following a short silent film in 1910, Frankenstein saw considerable success on the stage and silver screen thanks to James Whales’ 1931 horror classic and Boris Karloff’s iconic performance. Following numerous additional reinterpretations, and the incredible critical and commercial success of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Coppola, 1992), director Francis Ford Coppola wanted to helm a more faithful adaptation of the book before moving into a producer role. Coppola’s first mandate was that Robert De Niro be cast as the tragic creature and that Kenneth Branagh should direct. Next, Frank Darabont was drafted to rewrite Steph Lady’s initial script, though he later lamented that Branagh had heavily altered his vision for the film. Alongside a far more fantastical depiction of the Monster’s reanimation, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein presented a dramatically different version of the creature, one far closer to Shelley’s text than other adaptations. With a box office of $112 million, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was a modest financial success met with mostly mixed reviews that criticised the manic pace and surprisingly bland execution, while praising De Niro’s heart wrenching performance and the intriguing exploration of Victor’s haunting obsessions.

The Review:
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein immediately gets off on the right food by establishing a framing narrative the echoes the original text, beginning by following Captain Robert Walton as he leads his crew in a desperate bid to find a path through the ice to the North Pole. Unfortunately, the journey is so perilous and difficult that his crew are close to breaking point. Even when the ship gets trapped in ice, Captain Walton refuses to turn back, having spent his entire fortune funding the trip and being driven by an obsession with etching his name in history, no matter the cost. As the crew frantically try to free the ship and entertain thoughts of mutiny, they’re startled by an inhuman howl and amazed when a dishevelled cloaked figure appears from the storm, babbling about some “thing” out on the ice. Captain Walton takes the exhausted stranger in and cares for him, curious about what’s waiting in the frigid wasteland, only to be introduced to the manic, wild-eyed rantings of Victor Frankenstein, who begs Captain Walton to give up his crusade due to the danger of the mysterious thing pursuing him. When Captain Walton refuses, scoffing and enraged at the idea of being denied his destiny, Frankenstein is distraught to see the stubborn captain shares his madness and, in a bid to convince him to turn back before he destroys himself and his crew, tells Captain Walton his life story. This is related through the remainder of the film, with some correspondence between Frankenstein and his adopted sister, Elizabeth (Carter), and excerpts from Frankenstein’s journal mirroring the epistolary nature of the novel, and being bookended by Captain Walton’s reaction to Frankenstein’s crazed story of scientific obsession turned to destruction.

Obsessed with defeating death, Frankenstein employs immoral and outlawed sciences to create life.

Frankenstein met Elizabeth when they were children (Rory Jennings and Hannah Taylor-Gordon) and spent his whole life caring for her as though she were his own, as instructed by his beloved mother, Caroline (Cherie Lunghi), and expert surgeon father, Baron Alphonse Frankenstein (Holm). Even from an early age, Frankenstein hungered for knowledge and conducted many eccentric experiments using ancient tomes, mostly concerning the transfer and nature of energy, to the amazement of his family. Unfortunately, Frankenstein’s youth was marred by tragedy as his mother died giving birth to his younger brother, William/Willie (Charles Wyn-Davies/Ryan Smith), an event that traumatised Frankenstein and began his obsession with defeating death. Upon arriving at the University of Ingolstadt to follow in his father’s footsteps, Frankenstein immediately gains notoriety for studying and championing unconventional texts and authors long considered heretics or sorcerers, angering his more rational and scientifically minded tutors, who believe their focus should be on saving lives using the scientific method. Obstinate and arrogant, Frankenstein secretly continues his experiments alongside his enthusiastic (if medically conventional) friend Henry Clerval (Tom Hulce), but his outbursts attract the curiosity of Professor Waldman (John Cleese), who touted similar beliefs in the past and was tarnished because of it. Frequent discussions and experiments with Professor Waldman further Frankenstein’s obsession with preventing or reversing death, discovering that the applying electricity to key areas of the body can reanimate corpses, though even Professor Walden refuses to share his notes and divulge how close he came before giving up his crusade. Frankenstein, however, is undeterred and only redoubles his efforts after his mentor is senselessly murdered trying to prevent an outbreak of cholera. Despite Clerval’s objections, Frankenstein studies Professor Walden’s notes and arrogantly believes he can succeed where his mentor failed by acquiring the right “raw materials” for his “reanimate”, locking himself in his attic laboratory and ignoring his friends and loved ones as he works himself to exhaustion stitching together a monstrosity that he believes will be both smarter, stronger, and superior to man.

Frankenstein’s work sees him shun those closest to him, including his devoted adopted sister and lover.

Frankenstein’s fixation on overcoming death sees him become a recluse; he locks Clerval out and stops writing letters to his family and Elizabeth, who’s particularly distraught as the two became so close over the years that they couldn’t deny their feelings and vowed to be married once Frankenstein finished his studies. While it is admittedly quite disturbing to see these “siblings” suddenly lustful for each other, no one bats an eyelid at their romance because it’s been obvious to everyone, especially nursemaid Justine Moritz (Trevyn McDowell), who’s been in love when Frankenstein since they were children, that that two have always cared deeply for one another, Elizabeth is besotted by Frankenstein, eagerly anticipating consummating their relationship on their wedding night and desiring to bring new life to their family home through their children. Encouraged by Justine, Elizabeth travels to Ingolstadt to be with her lover, concerned for his welfare, only to find him a physical and emotional wreck living in squalor. Erratic and fixated on his work, Frankenstein shuns Elizabeth and sends her away, breaking her heart. However, when he’s discovered in a feverish stupor by Clerval, Frankenstein is nursed back to health by his friend and his love, reconciling with Elizabeth and suddenly vowing to give up his bizarre and secretive experiments. Frankenstein returns to his family home in Geneva, ready to commit himself to medical science alongside Clerval, and joyously announcing his engagement to his father, who celebrates the union as a blessed event. However, Frankenstein remains tight-lipped about his dark days isolated in his lab and refuses to speak of what transpired there, taking solace in his newfound happiness. Elizabeth and Alphonse are left devastated when Frankenstein’s past comes back to haunt him, however, as poor little Willie is brutally murdered on the family grounds and poor Justine is unfairly and unlawful lynched as the primary suspect, thrown off the prison roof and hanged by the bloodthirsty local despite the true culprit being a hideous creature of Frankenstein’s own making.

Robert De Niro disappears behind the creature’s monstrous make-up.

Following Professor Walden’s notes, Frankenstein cobbles together a brutish patchwork creature from bits and pieces of others, including the man who killed his mentor and Professor Walden’s brain. Using a bizarre contraption filled with amniotic fluid and powered by electric eels, Frankenstein maniacally sees his experiment through and is initially overjoyed when his creature comes to life. However, he immediately regrets his actions, echoing Professor Walden’s own conclusions, when the Monster appears ungainly, deformed, and brain damaged. Believing the creature to be dead, a remorseful Frankenstein forgets the entire thing, unaware that his creature stumbled through Ingolstadt in a daze before being driven to the countryside by paranoid locals who, upon seeing the monstrous visage, assumed it was the cause of the cholera outbreak. While in the woods, the Monster shelters in the barn of a kindly family of farmers, who are struggling to survive due to the bitter winter cold. Touched by their kindness towards each other and their plight, the creature secretly helps harvest their crops and learns (or, as it later says, remembers) how to read and write by observing them. When the creature defends the family’s blind grandfather (Richard Briers), it’s welcomed by the grateful old man, who shows compassion, only for the rest of the family to misread the situation and drive the Monster away before fleeing. Learning of its origins from Frankenstein’s journal, the enraged creature hunts down its creator and confronts him on “the sea of ice”, desperate to learn the purpose of its existence. Though a deeply sympathetic and pitiable creature, it’s hard to feel too bad for Frankenstein’s being when it delights in detailing how it crushed the life from Willie and set Justine up for her execution. It vows to indulge its insatiable rage if Frankenstein refuses to build it a mate, promising to disappear from the world if it has a companion to ease its suffering, and is presented as the personification of Frankenstein’s folly.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s been a while since I read the book, but Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is certainly the most accurate adaptation of the text I’ve ever seen. It has the framing narrative, showcases his family life, details his studies, and presents the Monster as being intelligent and articulate, all things largely ignored in the 1931 version. Frankenstein has always been a favourite of mine, largely because of this movie, which I believe was my first exposure to the story. It’s amusing to watch in some ways, however, since Frankenstein’s rantings about hair and fingernails regrowing after death have long been proven to have nothing to do with the body still being alive. Similarly, his experiments with electricity are shown to literally reanimate a frog when we know that any convulsions and movements are due to the electrical current. Frankenstein does touch upon some valid aspects of medicine in his rantings, however, like organ transfers, very much making him ahead of his time (and thus a heretic to the God-fearing scientific community). I’ve always found it odd, though, that Frankenstein stitches together his creation. Professor Walden’s notes state that the right “raw materials” may result in success, though it’s not clear what makes any of the body parts Frankenstein gets more “right” than others except when he harvests “the very finest brain” from his mentor. It seems like it’d be much easier to simply zap Professor Walden’s body to bring him back but, instead, Frankenstein cobbles together a creature he feels will be the perfect lifeform, only to be disgusted and ashamed of his feeble creation once he realises he’s made a massive mistake. I really enjoyed that we got to see the Monster learning from the family and the exploration of how its mind works. Many of its memories and abilities are presented as “trace memories”, as though each body part remembers something different from its previous life and the creature can use that knowledge to learnt to speak and play the flute while also being a completely unique personality, one driven by incredible love and equally powerful rage.

A visually memorable, gory, and faithful adaptation of the thought-provoking text.

It’s astounding to me that Robert De Niro, of all people, was cast as the creature but he does an excellent job depicting the Monster’s confusion, anguish, and hatred. Initially a mindless, wailing creature acting on instinct, the Monster comes to realise it is a living thing (in a sense) and has been abandoned by its creator. Its conversation with Frankenstein echoes the bitter resentment a man may have towards God and Frankenstein’s blunt, clinical answers about the creature’s purpose and origin speak to the disappointment one might feel upon asking God, “Why am I here?” Rather than being a bulky, block-headed giant lumbering about with bolts through it sneck, the Monster is a patchwork of skin and body parts, with De Niro’s eyes conveying the bulk of the emotion as the impressive make-up distorts his features. Instead of channelling a lightning bolt into his creation, Frankenstein constructs an elaborate and frankly ridiculous contraption that uses special chemicals, electrodes, and electric eels in an unsettlingly sexualised sack to birth his creature, somewhat overcomplicating the process but providing some unique visuals, if nothing else. The creature is depicted as being incredibly unstable, boasting superhuman strength and agility and seemingly impervious to the cold, and flip-flopping between loving and gentle and abhorrently brutal as it relishes killing Willie and tormenting Frankenstein. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein gets very gory, with death, especially, depicted as a messy and traumatising affair. Caroline and Professor Walden’s deaths are particularly gruesome, leaving the Frankenstein’s covered in blood, and Justine’s is notably harrowing given the senselessness of it all. Things come to a head when the Monster, enraged when Frankenstein breaks his vow, makes good on its promise and brutally murders Elizabeth on their wedding night, ripping out her heart and mangling her corpse with glass and fire. It’s no wonder that Frankenstein is so obsessed with defeating death considering these experiences, but his obsession is tainted by arrogance and a God complex that makes him foolhardy and stubborn, refusing to entertain any notions contrary to his or apply his admittedly keen mind towards perfecting surgeries and medicines to achieve his goal.

Frankenstein’s obsession ends in heartbreak and death when his creation demands recompense.

Although Frankenstein reluctantly agrees to create a mate for the Monster, desperate to atone for his mistakes and to give his creation some peace, he backs out on the deal when the experiment again alienates him from Elizabeth. Marshalling his family guards, Frankenstein abandons his work to marry Elizabeth, only to be devastated and horrified when the Monster tears out her heart in recompense. With his lover dead and his father dying of a broken heart following Willie’s murder, a grieving Frankenstein shuns Clerval’s objections and frantically stitches Elizabeth’s disfigured head to Justine’s corpse and recreates his experiment, desperate to be reunited with his love and lost to his insane obsession once more. Even when the confused, clearly disfigured and inept Elizabeth returns to life, Frankenstein refuses to realise what he’s done, begging her to say his name, slipping on her wedding gown and ring, and dancing with her with manic joy even as she flops around like a lifeless puppet. Frankenstein’s bliss is shattered when the Monster appears and claims Elizabeth for itself, her being drawn to the monstrous being on some primal instinct. While Frankenstein is elated when she finally chokes out his name, Elizabeth is horrified when she catches sight of her mangled reflection and incensed when the two fight over her, eventually choosing to immolate herself, taking Frankenstein’s home with her. Returning to Captain Walden, we learn that Frankenstein pursued his creature for months, always being drawn north, intent on killing the beast. However, Frankenstein succumbs to pneumonia and dies, much to the despair of his creation, who weeps for its “father”. Taking pity on the Monster, Captain Walden organises a funeral, only for the ice to crack and the Monster to choose to die alongside his father rather than return to the world of man. Finally, after seeing how destructive obsession can be and touched by Frankenstein’s story, Captain Walden agrees to abandon his crusade before he’s destroyed in the same way.

The Summary:
I’ve always had a soft spot for Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it was my introduction to the story and sparked a lifelong fondness for the text, its stirring themes, and its complex, monstrous creature. However, it’s not a film I watch all that often as it is quite long and it does have some flaws. While Kenneth Branagh did an excellent job conveying Frankenstein’s obsession and mania, I think it was quite self-indulgent to cast himself in the movie. I’m not always convinced by Helena Bonham Carter or her relationship with Frankenstein, which is a bit questionable in this day and age, and the film overly complicates iconic moments like the construction and birth of the Monster, seemingly to be more grounded and realistic despite how fantastical the story is. Robert De Niro did a surprisingly great job as the Monster, however. I never would’ve pegged him for a role like this, but he showcases an unexpected emotional depth that perfectly captures the creature’s intense love and blinding fury, presenting a very different and much more accurate portrayal of the creature that challenges the popular depiction of it as a mindless, lumbering giant. This is a very beautiful film, with some fantastic sets and costumes, that really captures the period setting. It’ll always be weird to seeing the bizarre equipment used to bring the creature to life but it’s certainly memorable, and doubly unsettling when viewed as an allegory for birth. Frankenstein’s obsessions are very relatable, as is the Monster’s rage, and both are flawed, justified characters in different ways that really make you think about the nature of “good” and “evil”. The creature is like the personification of karma, relentlessly causing death and torment for its creator, literally destroying Frankenstein’s entire family for revenge. Had Frankenstein embraced and nurtured his creation, or simply destroyed it, much of the anguish he suffers could’ve been avoided but Frankenstein’s arrogance and superiority complex constantly prove his undoing. Ultimately, I can understand why many dislike Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it’s not the easiest film to watch, but it’s always been a not-so-guilty pleasure of mine and it remains as evocative today as it did when I was a teenager, so I have a lot of fondness for this flawed creation.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you also a fan of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or did you find it too much of a slog to sit through? What did you think to the cast and their performances and were you surprised to see Robert De Niro in such a role? Did you like how different the creature’s make-up effects were? Do you consider this the most faithful adaptation of the text? How are you celebrating horror this year? Leave your thoughts on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Frankenstein content.

Movie Night: Frankenstein (1931)

Dr. K4 Comments

Released: 21 November 1931
Director: James Whale
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $262,007
Stars: Colin Clive, Boris Karloff/?, Mae Clarke, Dwight Frye, and Edward Van Sloan

The Plot:
Obsessed with playing God, eccentric scientist Henry Frankenstein (Clive) cobbles together a monstrous being (Karloff/?) whose child-like nature sees it embark on a rampage.

The Background:
“I busied myself to think of a story […] One which would speak to the mysterious fears of our nature, and awaken thrilling horror…” And so it was that Mary Shelley, while effectively snowed in in Geneva, thought up the concept for Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus at just eighteen years old. First published anonymously in 1818, what began as a ghost story that attracted much controversy due to Shelley’s gender and its blasphemous content, evolved into a celebrated piece of literary fiction whose scientific, gothic, and religious themes have been discussed endlessly for over two hundred years. Frankenstein was first adapted into a short silent film in 1910 but saw considerable success on the British stage, courtesy of Peggy Webling, despite numerous changes to the source material. Following their surprising success with Dracula (Browning, 1931), Universal Studios gave producer Carl Laemmle Jr. the go-ahead to produce more horror movies, with them acquiring the rights to the Frankenstein stage play. Though Laemmle Jr. initially planned to play the Monster, Dracula star Bela Lugosi was approached for the role but (in)famously turned it down as the initial script had stripped the creature of all nuance and humanity. Instead, the Monster was famously embodied by Boris Karloff, who endured long, painful hours in make-up to bring the creature to (un)life with a look that was noticeably removed from the book. Though subjected to rigorous censorship demands, Frankenstein was a remarkable box office hit at the time thanks, in part, to clever marketing. Despite its many differences from the book, Frankenstein was widely praised for Karloff’s captivating performance and as one of the best films of its year. The film stood the test of time as a horror classic, popularising this interpretation of the Monster for generations and leading to numerous sequels and reinterpretations of the text.

The Review:
Surprisingly, I do have some experience with Shelley’s Frankenstein, having studied it at secondary school and during my undergraduate years, if only briefly. Although I’ve read and written about the text before, it has been a while since I revisited the book and most of my experiences come from the movies, as with all the Universal Monsters characters. Still, I remember enough to know that Frankenstein is a very loose adaptation, missing many details and supplanting them with others, though some of the missing material was utilised in the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein (Whale, 1935), so literary purists may have a better time watching both back-to-back. The first and most obvious change is that Frankenstein is named “Henry” here, with his title given to his cantankerous father, Baron Frankenstein (Frederick Kerr) and his original first name given to his friend, Victor Moritz (John Boles), who’s essentially an adaptation of the book’s Henry Clerval. Frankenstein also has a simple-minded, hunchbacked assistant in the movie (named Fritz (Frye) rather than the more mainstream “Igor”) rather than working alone, the Monster is deathly afraid of fire and never speaks, and many events are shuffled around. This is largely because, like Dracula, Frankenstein is based more on the stage play than the text, but it does mean the movie hits differently and explores alternate, if tangentially similar, themes regarding science, playing God, and the nature of man. The very fact that Frankenstein deals with such issues, no doubt shocking to a God-fearing world, potentially explains why the film opens with star Edward Van Sloan warning audiences to turn away if they’re shocked by such content. Indeed, the horror of Frankenstein, at the time, was just as much about a man playing God as it was the titular (or not so titular) Monster, since the idea that anyone but God can create life would’ve been deeply blasphemous and the fear of the unknown (in this case, science) would’ve made the subject matter particularly upsetting, I’m sure.

Despite warnings from his friends and loves ones, Frankenstein creates monstrous life with science.

Anyway, in Frankenstein, Henry comes from a wealthy family with a great deal of influence on a small village in the Bavarian Alps. While the curmudgeonly Baron Frankenstein despairs of his son’s bizarre experiments and decision to isolate himself in an ominous stone tower laboratory with Fritz, Henry’s correspondence to his fiancée, Elizabeth Lavenza (Clarke), tells of his need for privacy and solitude. This is primarily because he and Fritz are sneaking out at night and digging up bodies, selecting organs and body parts for a patchwork man Henry aims to bring to life through the awesome power of electricity. While they scavenge everything they need for the body, Henry’s frustrated that the recently deceased can’t provide a viable brain, so he has Fritz steal a preserved brain from his old mentor, Doctor Waldman (Van Sloan), not realising that it’s a “criminal brain” seemingly hardwired for evil (that’s also further damaged by the clumsy Fritz). Concerned for her love’s welfare, Elizabeth politely shrugs off Victor’s advances and convinces him to ask Dr. Waldman for advice, with the three braving a horrific thunderstorm to visit Henry. Though frustrated by their interference, Henry invites them to witness his crowning achievement when Victor (fully aware of his intentions) accuses him of being mad. While Henry denies this claim, it’s obvious that he is a little bonkers, as seen in his exuberant and iconic cry of “It’s alive!!”, his claims to “be God”, and his initial denial regarding his creation once it comes to life. Ecstatic to have brought the creature to life, Henry insists that the childlike being needs time to adjust rather than rejecting it on first sight as in the novel. This is despite the protests of Dr. Waldman, who correctly warns that the “Monster” is an abomination to God and a threat to all due to its capacity for evil and its unpredictable nature.

Thanks to its unnatural origin, Frankenstein’s Monster is confused and quick to wild emotions.

Despite his efforts to teach the Monster, Frankenstein is forced to agree when the creature flies into a rage at the sight of fire and acts like a wild animal while chained in the basement, murdering Fritz, attacking Dr. Waldman, and almost throttling Henry before Dr. Waldman subdues it with what’s supposed to be a lethal injection. During Henry’s recuperation, his madness lifts and he returns to a normal life, finally marrying Elizabeth (to the joy of his father and the village). Ever the curious scientist, Dr. Waldman leads the vivisection on the Monster, becoming its second victim when it reanimates and strangles him to death. Though initially oblivious to the threat, Henry (and the entire village) are alerted of a wicked murderer after learning that local girl Maria (Marilyn Harris) has been drowned, Dr. Waldman killed, and after Elizabeth is attacked. Much of this is similar to the book, such as the Monster stumbling across a little girl, murdering a child, and going on a bit of a killing spree, but it’s framed as the actions of a confused and misunderstood creature rather than acts of wickedness. While the film goes to great lengths to assert that Frankenstein’s experiments are immoral and inhuman, the tone is awkwardly balanced between Henry’s madness, the darker sequences, and some strange comedic moments. These largely involve the blustering Baron Frankenstein, who’s convinced his son’s having an affair, demands that he forget his experiments, and constantly rambles about his grandmother’s wine. The Baron has no patience for Burgomaster Herr Vogel (Lionel Belmore) or the expectant masses…until Henry snaps out of his obsession and returns to the real world, and then the Baron’s all smiles and jokes. Elizabeth is the quintessential supporting fiancée, deeply devoted to Henry despite him isolating himself and Victor being right there, and far more suitable. Victor is basically a blank slate, shouting accusations at Frankenstein and offering little else, and honestly his role could’ve easily been merged into Dr. Waldman’s to speed things up.

Madness and science birth a confused and potentially dangerous abomination.

As ever, “Frankenstein” is both the Monster and the creator as Henry brings the wretch to life and is the subject of the film but does so through abhorrent acts like grave robbing and stealing. The Monster is seemingly a mishmash of different parts and pieces, with no true personality of its own, but it does retain rudimentary memories. These initially encourage Frankenstein as the Monster’s capable of stumbling about and obeying basic instructions, but his enthusiasm quickly dies when he sees how savage the Monster becomes when confronted by fire. The Monster’s rage is only fuelled when Fritz beats it and Henry gives up on it, reluctantly agreeing to kill the creature only to find Fritz strung up. Depicted as simple-minded but incredibly strong, the Monster easily overpowers two or three men at once and gleefully throttles Dr. Waldman, perhaps out of sheer muscle memory from its “criminal brain” or perhaps because it recognises the threat those around him pose to its existence. Indeed, when the Monster stumbles upon Maria, it sits and plays, laughing and seemingly content. However, it misunderstands the girl’s game of tossing flowers into the river and chucks her in for a laugh, drowning her despite her landing in the shallow end and unintentionally whipping the villagers into a lynch mob. It’s not clear why the Monster pays a visit to Elizabeth, especially as it seemed to be wandering at random, but she’s horrified by its grotesque appearance, and it attacks her when she tries to flee. Luckily for her, it leaves her alive, which only motivates Frankenstein to join the mob. Although the Monster looks nothing like Shelley’s descriptions, its design is certainly iconic and striking. A tall, lurching, shambling wretch with its eyes largely rolled back, two bolts in its neck, and misshapen skin, the Monster is an unnatural man-thing that mocks the beauty of natural life. Yet, interestingly, Henry isn’t immediately disgusted by it and the Monster is shown only to be confused and scared, lashing out accordingly and in need of guidance rather than persecution.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Frankenstein was certainly ambitious for the time. Boris Karloff’s make-up looks both impressive and extremely uncomfortable, with the actor perfectly stomping about and making stiff, jerky movements to show the creature is unnatural and undead. Although the film lacks a score to emphasis dramatic moments, there’s some great use of sound during the thunderstorm, which delivers the film’s most impressive moment. Sure, it’s weird that Henry’s visitors aren’t drenched when they enter the laboratory and his whole setup takes a lot of liberties with the source material, but Frankenstein’s laboratory is the quintessential “mad scientist” setup and a wonderful way to show the awesome and seemingly unknowable power of nature (in this case, lightning). Baron Frankenstein’s residence also impressed in its opulence, and I liked that Frankenstein incorporated many different locations, though some sets were a bit too obvious (which is to be expected). The film utilised a decent miniature to depict the windmill and its destruction and I was impressed by how often flaming torches appeared onscreen, and how fast and loose everyone played with getting up close to them! While the Monster’s jerky movements made his “fight scenes” a joke, I did like seeing these normal guys and scientists struggling to subdue the savage Monster, who easily overpowered them and left a decent body count in its wake. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see the Monster learning to speak or being more than a near-mindless creature, but the intention seems to be to emphasise that Henry came so close to playing God but screwed it up because man isn’t meant to meddle in such things. It’s always amused me as it surely would’ve been easier for Frankenstein to reanimate a fresh body than to stitch together a grotesque behemoth, and he arguably pays the price for that approach since the Monster is as much a victim of its disparate pieces as it is the situation it finds itself in.

A dramatic showdown between man and creation ends this startling loose adaptation.

Upon discovering Maria’s dirty, drowned body, her shellshocked father (Michael Mark) carries her through the village and to the Burgomaster to warn of a murderer and immediately incites a lynch mob. The seething masses are only further incited when Dr. Waldman is found dead and Elizabeth is attacked, for the village holds the Frankensteins in high regard and is outraged at such an act. Frankenstein joins the search, which is split between different areas of the village and the surrounding grounds, with Henry venturing into the jagged mountains alongside rabid dogs and villagers wielding flaming torches. Unaware that his Monster is to blame for the deaths (since Henry believes the creature perished from Dr. Waldman’s serum), Henry is stunned when the Monster attacks him in the wastelands. The scuffle is brief and one-sided, with Frankenstein easily bested and hauled to a nearby dilapidated windmill with the mob in hot pursuit. Desperate to escape to the high ground, the Monster tangles with Frankenstein when he wakes, with Henry proving no match for his creation and being tossed from top floor. Luckily for him, the slow-moving windmill blades break his fall, leaving Frankenstein a gravely injured (but inconceivably alive) wreck on the ground. While some villagers carry Henry home, the others set the windmill on fire, sending the trapped Monster into a frenzy and seemingly causing its destruction when it’s consumed by the fire. In the aftermath, Frankenstein recovers at home alongside Elizabeth and his father celebrates with another shot of the family wine, toasting his family house and blissfully unaware that the rampage was caused by another “son of the house of Frankenstein”. It’s obviously a very different ending from the book, with the entire sub-plot and bookend of Captain Robert Walton dropped, Elizabeth and Henry surviving the events, and the omission of the Monster’s bride and vengeance upon Frankenstein’s family. Still, the Monster does seemingly perish in a fire like in the book and I don’t expect filmmakers from 1931 to try and bring the Arctic to life.

The Summary:
Since the stage play that Frankenstein is more directly adapted from has essentially been lost to the mists of time, it can be difficult to reconcile how loose an adaptation the film is from the source material. The film omits and changes many elements from the book, distilling the key events and themes to a feature-film length and losing much of the complex charm and horror of Shelley’s book. Yet, these elements are still present and, even in this modern day, there’s still a chilling message about man’s arrogance in using science to play God. While Henry Frankenstein insists that he’s the model of sanity, he is out in the dead of night digging up corpses, isolating himself from friends and family, and practically frothing at the mouth when his Monster comes to life. Though he lacks much of the nuance of the source material, Frankenstein is depicted as an egotistical and obsessed scientist who claws back some sympathy after initially appearing somewhat unlikeable, ultimately paying for his arrogance not with his life, but with a traumatic experience. Frankenstein’s lasting legacy is, without a doubt, the design and portrayal of the Monster. Boris Karloff gives a remarkable physical performance, lumbering about, throwing clubbing blows, and growling at his prey as the Monster struggles to adapt to its newfound unlife. The visual of the Monster, with its cuboid head, large suit, and metal bolts, is enduring and iconic and is so burned into the cultural consciousness that I’d wager most people don’t realise that the Monster looks nothing like that in the book. Frankenstein also impresses in its ambition, featuring many different locations and sets, some superb set design, and a surprisingly high body count (including a child, no less!) The film distils the book’s warnings about meddling in the unknown into a far more simplistic message about reaping what you sow, but it’s still a decent watch, despite some unavoidable flaws, that no doubt galvanised this version of Frankenstein’s Monster into the cultural zeitgeist.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Frankenstein’s big-screen debut? What did you think to the changes to the source material and which parts did you miss the most? Did you also find Baron Frankenstein a bizarre character? What did you think to Boris Karloff’s performance and the dramatic redesign of the Monster? Where do you stand on who should or shouldn’t be called “Frankenstein”? Which adaptation of Frankenstein, or Universal Monsters movie, is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Share your opinions on Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Frankenstein content.

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: Dr. No

Dr. K1 Comment

To celebrate the release of this movie, the first of many filmic outings for James Bond, October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day”. Today, 007 is one of the most recognised and popular movie icons of all time so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 5 October 1962
Director: Terence Young
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $1.1 million
Stars: Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, Jack Lord, John Kitzmiller, and Ursula Andress

The Plot:
After an MI6 liaison is murdered in Jamaica, suave spy James Bond/007 (Connery) discovers a plot by malformed mad scientist Doctor Julius No (Wiseman) to disrupt an American rocket on behalf of the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE).

The Background:
Super spy James Bond was the brainchild of writer Ian Fleming in 1953, heavily inspired by Fleming’s years as a Navy intelligence officer. 007 first came to life not through Sean Connery’s immortal and iconic performance or even the bizarre comedy loosely based on Fleming’s first Bond book, but a one-hour CBS television adaptation of that same book that was heavily altered for American audiences. Bond was next adapted into a South African radio drama in 1958 and Fleming’s books became a long-running series of comic strips starting in 1957, before Casino Royale (1953) finally came to the big screen in 1967 after years of Development Hell and rights disputes. Though initially reluctant, Fleming eventually sold the rights to all his Bond novels (except Casino Royale and, most infamously, 1961’s Thunderball) to producer Harry Saltzman. Saltzman partnered with Albert R. “Cubby” Broccoli to spearhead an adaptation of the 1958 novel of the same name, bringing in director Terence Young to define the onscreen portrayal of the super spy for decades to come. Though hampered by a paltry budget, Young chose to innovate and spend what little money had had wisely, while the script included many alterations from the source material, including painting Dr. No as an agent of SPECTRE. While the producers initially envisioned Cary Grant as Bond, Richard Johnson claimed to have been tapped for the role, and Rod Taylor rejected the pitch, former bodybuilder Sean Connery impressed with his devil-may-care attitude and cemented his career (for better or worse) with his now-iconic performance. Although Dr. No received a mixed reaction at the time, it proved a box office success that kick-started a cinematic franchise, with each subsequent film out-performing the last at the box office. In the years since its release, Dr. No has been critically re-evaluated in a more positive light, with the film named as one of the top 100 British films of all time and praised for delivering some of the most memorable moments in the series.

The Review:
I think it’s only fair to start off by admitting that I’ve never been a fan of Dr. No. While it’s easy to explain away a lot of its flaws by pointing to the era it was made and it being the first of a series, so many of the recognisable Bond elements hadn’t been refined yet (even if they make their debut here), I’ve just never been a fan of the pacing and plot. Indeed, one thing I often joke about is that, even now, I don’t really know what Dr. No is about or what the titular mad scientist is  after. Therefore, I went into this viewing really trying to pay attention and grasp what the plot was and what was happening. Surprisingly, Dr. No’s stakes are surprisingly low; the world isn’t at stake here. In fact, no nations, cities, or lives seem to be at risk at all, save those who venture to Dr. No’s private island, Crab Key, uninvited or those who stand in his way. The film’s events kick off when John Strangways (Timothy Moxon/Robert Rietti), a keen fisherman, poker player, and head of MI6’s Kingston station, and his secretary, Mary Trueblood (Dolores Keator), are murdered by, of all things, three assassins posing as blind beggars. After a few hours trying to re-establish contact with Strangways, the cantankerous and officious head of MI6, “M” (Bernard Lee), pulls Bond from a game of Baccarat and orders him to find out what happened, advising him to liaise with his Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) counterpart, Felix Leiter (Lord), and to not waste any time. Though Bond happily takes the assignment, he drags his feet a little by flirting with M’s secretary, Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), and hooking up with the alluring Sylvia Trench (Eunice Gayson), firmly establishing that, while Bond is loyal to King and Country, he’s got a soft (well, more accurately a hard) spot for the ladies and the finer things in life, such as a good smoke and a stiff drink.

While Connery mesmerises as Bond, 007’s painfully mundane in his first outing.

Sean Connery immediately embodies the now-world famous super spy with a relaxed, confident poise and charm. He greets every situation, even admonishments from M, with a wry smile and a biting wit, seemingly fearless and maintaining his composure even when he’s being followed or clearly duped by enemy agents. While this is Bond’s first screen outing, it’s clearly not his first assignment as he’s been licensed to kill for some time (though M’s dialogue suggests Bond may only be a year or so into this career as a 00 agent) and is generally hyper aware of his surroundings. Even when he’s welcomed by Chief Secretary Pleydell-Smith (Louis Blaazer) and given lodgings at Government House, Bond checks for bugs and preps his room to alert him to intruders. Unlike later Bond movies, 007 is rather ill-equipped; Major Boothroyd (Peter Burton) simply furnishes him with the standard issue Walther PPK in place of his unreliable Beretta M1934 and that’s it. Not that Bond really needs any gadgets here, just a rental car and a working telephone suffice for most of the film. Bond’s first official big screen adventure is much more of an investigative thriller than anything else. Bond wanders about Kingston meeting with those who knew or saw Strangways last, piecing together what happened, knocking back vodka martinis (“Shaken, not stirred”) and other vices as he goes. After a brief misunderstanding, Bond meets with Leiter, visits a few more locations, and eventually suspects Professor R. J. Dent (Anthony Dawson), a geologist and one of the last people to see Strangways alive. Bond’s investigation alerts him to Crab Key, a forbidden island owned by the mysterious Dr. No, which Strangways regularly visited. It’s all very mundane and dull, sadly, with only Connery’s magnetic screen presence holding my interest as Bond simply stumbles upon breadcrumbs to discover that Dr. No obviously had something to do with Strangways disappearing.

Sadly, scene-staler Quarrel meets a toasty end when he insists on aiding Bond.

Bond’s eventually aided by Leiter, though Felix at first suspects 007 of being corrupt since Bond willingly allows obvious enemy plants to drive him around and lure him into bed. Bond does this in hopes of questioning and/or boning said agents, though his investigation is often frustrated since many of his would-be assassins choose death by cyanide over talking. Leiter reveals that he worked closely with Strangways to discover the source of a radio jamming signal that has been disrupting America’s space exploration rockets. Leiter’s also instrumental in cooling tensions between Bond and Quarrel (Kitzmiller), a Cayman Islander whose boat Strangways took to Crab Key and collect samples. Initially giving Bond the brushoff, Quarrel confronts him and knifepoint and the two scuffle until Leiter intervenes and they all get on the same page. While Leiter isn’t that interesting, simply being a friendly face to give Bond some intel and call out his womanising ways, Quarrel is quite an enjoyable addition, being an upbeat and friendly seaman who affectionately calls Bond “Cap’n”. Rather than rely on sea chats or coordinates, Quarrel follows his instincts but is extremely hesitant to go to Crab Key due to rumours of a fire-breathing “dragon” dwelling there. While Bond initially gives Quarrel the option of staying behind, his patience with these stories grows thin, especially when they bump into the beautiful Honey Ryder (Andress) and she echoes Quarrel’s fears. Still, Quarrel proves useful to Bond’s investigation and subdues Annabel Chung (Marguerite LeWars) when she spies on the trio. Bond seems genuinely distraught when Quarrel meets his horrifying (and ridiculously abrupt) end at the hands of Dr. No’s “dragon” (an armoured tank with a flamethrower) and adds the seaman’s name to the list of people he wishes to avenge.

Dr. No is sadly absent for most of the film and his scheme is very vaguely defined.

As if Dr. No wasn’t disappointing enough, the titular scientist is quite a letdown as well. Like Honey, Dr. No doesn’t fully appear until the final act, which is pretty incredible considering his unique affliction and his admittedly captivating screen presence. While I appreciate the fear and awe given to Dr. No throughout the film, with the locals scared of Crab Key and Dent terrified of his master’s reprisals, I think the film suffers from not including him at least once before Bond reaches Crab Key. A mysterious and isolated figure, Dr. No initially appears as a disembodied voice reprimanding Dent and ordering him to kill Bond using a tarantula (an effective means, to be sure!) Dr. No has agents all over Kingston, it seems, with him sending a driver (Reginald Carter) to try and kill Bond soon after he lands, placing Miss Taro (Zena Marshall) as a double agent, and employing some goons to try and run Bond off the road. Despite Dr. No voicing an explicit desire to have Bond killed, he does a complete 180 once Bond arrives on Crab Key. His loyal soldiers give Bond, Quarrel, and Honey multiple chances to surrender peaceful and end up roasting Quarrel alive when they disobey, but Dr. No treats Bond and Honey as distinguished guests and has them decontaminated and confined to a room that’s more deluxe suite than a dungeon. Dr. No is impressed by Bond’s repeated interference (even though I’m not sure what Bond did to cost him time and money…) and believes him an intellectual equal, only to be angered by Bond’s dismissive and condescending attitude. Although Dr. No claims his genius is as formidable as his physical strength thanks to his painfully limited artificial hands, he’s clearly a madman. So much so that neither the East or the West wished to employ his services and even SPECTRE seems somewhat embarrassed by him. This could be because Dr. No uses his vast and overly complicated nuclear-powered facility to disrupt Cape Canaveral simply for his own self-gratification as he issues no threats and demands no ransom, seemingly embodying only the “Revenge” aspect of SPECTRE as he wishes to prove himself superior to those who mocked and dismissed him.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Dr. No is obviously the blueprint which all future Bond movies were based, establishing many of the tropes, elements, and recurring themes for the series. Accordingly, we get out first gun barrel sequence (with stuntman Bob Simmons as Bond), first utterance of “Bond… James Bond”, and our first title sequence (though there’s no cold open here). Unfortunately, Dr. No fails to impress with its opening titles, which are simply a mess of colours, dancing girls, and “007” plastered over the screen while Monty Norman’s “James Bond Theme” blares. Bond’s iconic overture oddly crops up when he’s doing such exciting tasks as… walking, searching his room, or using the telephone. Rather than have an artist or group write a unique song for the film as would later become a key component of the franchise, Dr. No repeatedly falls back on renditions of “Under the Mango Tree”, a tune I’d happily never have to listen to again after sitting through this snore fest. The basic frameworks of future Bond films are established here, however, meaning it’s perfectly natural for M to simply show up to give Bond his mission and Miss Moneypenny to give Bond someone to flirt with in MI6 headquarters. Long-time Bond fans may be surprised that Desmond Llewelyn isn’t playing “Q” here (though Major Boothroyd is the same character). Consequently, there’s no visit to Q-Branch, no Aston Martin, and Bond’s even light on the quips, only dropping a couple of deadpan comments after outwitting his would-be assassins. Bond is a largely apathetic character, seemingly bored with the routine aspects of his job and preferring to be in the field, where he does his own thing regardless of his orders. This sees him getting a dressing down for carrying a Berretta and taking many detours in his investigation to get his end away or have a drink or smoke. Indeed, both M and Leiter comment on Bond’s lackadaisical attitude, though his methods always return to his primary mission one way or another.

While Bond’s women are attractive, it would’ve been nice to expand Honey’s role.

Despite getting second billing alongside Sean Connery, Ursula Andress only appears in the third act and has such a small role that it’s barely worth discussing. Of course, she makes a lasting impression on both audiences and Bond with her dramatic emergence from the sea, clad in a sultry bikini and inspecting her coveted seashells, but it might’ve been nice to include her a bit sooner to break up the monotony of watching Bond mingle around rooms. Though initially appearing naïve and almost childlike in her demeanour, Honey’s actually a well-travelled young lady, an accomplished diver, and has experienced by heartache (she believes Dr. No murdered her father) and strife. As a child, she was sexually assaulted (or possibly raped) and took her revenge by killing her attacker with a black widow spider (though oddly reacts in horror when Bond offs one of Dr. No’s henchmen). Still, she plays basically no role in the finale, with Bond successfully convincing Dr. No to send her away for their parlay and is simply there to have a pretty face onscreen at the tail end of the film. She’s nice on the eyes, for sure, and somewhat aids Bond with her familiarity with Crab Key, but her demeanour is a bit odd and it’s difficult to really care that much about her since she appears so late in the film. Similarly, while Sylvia gets a lot of play at the start of the film, she’s simply an attractive Baccarat player Bond seduces with his card game rather than an undercover SPECTRE agent like Miss Taro, Pleydell-Smith’s secretary. Indeed, it’s possible Sylvia and Taro would’ve been combined into one character in a later Bond film (and, truthfully, that would’ve made more sense here) to give Bond a tertiary threat while playing detective. Though she acts coy about listening into Bond’s meeting and the conveniently missing files on Dr. No, Miss Taro tries to lure Bond into a trap and then uses her body to distract him, only for him to effortlessly see through her ruse and simply use her for his own gratification (and to lure Dent into outing himself as another of Dr. No’s agents).

While I’m still not sure what Dr. No’s endgame was, he’s ultimately foiled by Bond.

After knobbing around Kingston for a few days, dodging death every other night and following leads on Strangways, Bond becomes very suspicious of Crab Key and its mysterious Dr. No. After using Miss Taro and easily fooling Dent, Bond decides he has enough evidence to visit Crab Key, convincing Quarrel to give him a lift and having Leiter on standby with the Marines. After Quarrel’s killed, Bond and Honey are welcomed as Dr. No’s distinguished guests, furnished with a luxurious room, drugged coffee, and a fine dinner. Dr. No’s patience and reverence for Bond quickly grows thin when 007 insults him and refuses to join SPECTRE, however, leading to Bond being beaten and tossed into a cell. Despite the electrified grate, and his injuries, Bond easily escapes through the facility’s massive ventilation shafts, kills one of Dr. No’s technicians (Anthony Chinn), and assumes his role in the control room. There, himself and his underlings protected from the radiation that cost him his hands, Dr. No directs a test on his nuclear reactor, apparently to disrupt America’s latest rocket launch. Despite his genius, Dr. No’s so distracted by his monitors that he fails to notice Bond overloading the reactor until its too late. With the facility in meltdown and his minions fleeing for their lives, Dr. No awkwardly confronts Bond on the gantry. Rather than treating us to a slugfest where the underdog 007 must use his wit and wiles to compensate for the crushing power of Dr. No’s prosthetic hands as the environment goes up in flames around them, this final battle is merely a clumsy scuffle on a small platform descending into a cool pool and Dr. No’s superior strength fails him as his crappy plastic hands can’t grip for shit. With everyone more concerned with escaping, Bond easily convinces Dr. No’s panicked employees to point him in Honey’s direction, and he rescues her from…being slowly drowned, I guess? The two then commandeer a convenient boat and drift away from Crab Key just as Dr. No’s facility explodes, ending whatever vague threat he posed. Though Leiter comes by to tug the two to safety, Bond opts to release his line so he and Honey can canoodle in their boat during the credits.

The Summary:
I was honestly dreading watching Dr. No again as, like I say, I’ve never been a fan of it. I want to respect it for laying the foundation for one of my favourite cinematic franchises, and that (alongside Sean Connery’s magnetic performance) is what gives it its second star, but this is always a tough watch for me. There’s so much working against it, from the dull opening titles, the Bond theme blaring in the most mundane scenes, and the dull focus on Bond’s investigation rather than action, women, or suspense. I understand that this was a different time and there was only so much the filmmakers could do (painfully obvious during Bond’s big car chase…), and that Dr. No is more of an investigative thriller than a bombastic action movie, but my lord is this painfully slow to watch. Bond meanders from scene to scene, easily piecing together clues when you’d think Dr. No would want to cover his tracks, and happy to waste his time bedding and toying with Dr. No’s obvious agents rather than getting to business. Dr. No is painfully absent throughout, meaning his motivations and character are poorly developed, to say the least. SPECTRE is little more than a name drop, Dr. No is simply a maniacal cripple childishly lashing out at a world that rejected him, and his plan is painfully ill defined. I still have no idea what the stakes are or why I should care about Dr. No’s plot when he makes no demands and seems to just be messing with America for shits and giggles, and we’re even robbed of him matching wits (and brawn) with Bond since Dr. No prefers to let his underlings or spiders do the work rather than just bloody shoot him! Ursula Andress may be gorgeous and have captivated a generation, but Honey Ryder shows up far too late to be that interesting. Had she been featured throughout, or perhaps been Dr. No’s unwilling concubine, then maybe I would care but, as is, she’s just kind of there. Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, and John Kitzmiller are the stars of this show but even they can’t keep me from tuning out every time I watch Dr. No and I’m honestly surprised we got a Bond franchise after this tedious slog of a movie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Am I being too harsh on Dr. No? Where would you rank it against the other James Bond films? Were you impressed by Sean Connery’s first outing as 007? What did you think to the focus on his investigation and the film’s slower pace? Do you agree that Dr. No and Honey Ryder should’ve shown up sooner? Were you disappointed when Quarrel got roasted? Can you tell me what Dr. No’s plan was, because I still don’t know… Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating Global James Bond Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Dr. No, or James Bond in general, leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and suggest some 007 content you’d like me to cover by donating to my Ko-Fi.