Movie Night [Superman Month]: Man of Steel


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I expanded Superman Day to “Superman Month“ and have been spending every Monday of June celebrating the Man of Steel.


This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Released: 14 June 2013
Director: Zack Snyder
Distributor:
Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget:
$255 to 258 million
Stars:
Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Antje Traue, and Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner

The Plot:
Just before the planet Krypton is destroyed, scientist Jor-El (Crowe) sends his young son to Earth. Raised by a kindly couple, Clark Kent (Cavill) hides his superhuman powers from the world but, when he discovers the truth of his alien heritage, he finally assumes the mantle of Earth’s greatest protector, Superman, just in time to defend his adopted home world from the maniacal General Zod (Shannon), a Kryptonian warrior seeking to terraform Earth into a new Krypton!

The Background:
For Superman’s big-screen feature back in 1978, producers Ilya and Alexander Salkind and Pierre Spengler initially convinced Warner Bros. to produce a two-part film, a decision which led to both financial and creative issues as director Richard Donner frequently clashed with the producers. Still, Superman (Donner, 1978) was a critical and commercial success and, despite all the behind the scenes drama, Superman II (Lester, 1980) was equally successful, but things quickly took a nose dive, despite Christopher Reeve’s iconic portrayal of the character, and Superman was absent from cinema screens for nearly twenty years. After numerous abortive and attempts to bring the Man of Steel back, director Bryan Singer attempt to recapture the magic of Richard Donner’s original film with Superman Returns (Singer, 2006) but, despite making $391.1 million at the box office, the film was maligned by critics and derailed plans for a sequel. Two years later, Warner Bros turned to notable Superman writers like Grant Morrison and Mark Waid to consider options for a reboot and, after settling a lawsuit, brought in writer David S. Goyer and director/producer Christopher Nolan to collaborate on a new Superman movie following their success with the Dark Knight trilogy (Nolan, 2005 to 2012). After Nolan won the studio over with his pitch to completely reboot the franchise in a similarly grounded way, director Zack Snyder was brought in to helm the project, and he immediately set about redesigning the character’s iconic costume with a slick, modern aesthetic that owed a lot to his Kryptonian heritage. British actor Henry Cavill finally won the chance to take on the role after having lost out to it before and underwent rigorous physical training to prepare for the role, while veteran actors Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe were cast to portray Superman’s two fathers who would raise the ethical and moral quandaries faced by the character. Weta Digital, MPC, and Double Negative created the film’s extensive visual effects, which were bolstered by documentary-style filmmaking techniques, infused Krypton with a whole new liquid geometry and alien landscape, and aimed to bring a real physical weight to the flying and fight scenes. Man of Steel was a massive success at the box office, where it made nearly $670 million, but reviews were somewhat mixed; while the action and performances were praised, critics questioned Superman’s characterisation, the widespread death and destruction, the Superman’s execution of General Zod. Regardless, Man of Steel was the start to the rocky and needlessly complicated DC Extended Universe (DCEU); it was followed by the divisive (to say the least) Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (Snyder, 2016) and a Justice League team-up that was fraught with its own issues, and both fans and Cavill were left salivating for another solo film for the titular superhero.

The Review:
Those who’ve read my reviews of the Richard Donner/Christopher Reeve films, and Superman Returns, will know that my relationship with those movies is a contentious one. While Reeve was undoubtably iconic in the role, and the first two films not only helped establish Superman in the eyes of the general audience but influenced comic books and their adaptations for decades, I also grew up reading the Post-Crisis version of Superman as written by John Byrne and firmly believed that the character had significantly changed since his wacky Pre-Crisis days. In the comics I read, Clark Kent wasn’t some bumbling reporter, Lois Lane wasn’t an obsessed stalker, and Superman was a relatable and at times vulnerable character; he got married, died and came back, and, crucially, had a humanity at the heart of his character and was far less God-like than in the sixties and seventies. Consequently, I was quite excited to see a new version of the character brought to the big screen, with a revised origin and no ties to the films that had come before it. I believe this is the route Warner Bros. should have taken with Superman Returns and, if they had, the nature of the DCEU could be quite different today. I was doubly excited since the studio not only had Christopher Nolan onboard as a producer but brought in Zack Snyder, who had impressed me with his visuals and brutal action-orientated storytelling in 300 (Snyder, 2006) and Watchmen (ibid, 2009), and even roped in Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe in pivotal roles.

Amidst a chaotic opening, Jor-El is able to spirit his infant son to safety before Krypton is destroyed.

As is tradition at this point, Man of Steel opens on Krypton, a world decidedly different from what we’ve seen onscreen and in the comics before. While many interpretations of Krypton like to draw upon Donner’s cold, crystalline wasteland, Man of Steel presents a vast alien world whose technology is based around a sort of fluid nanotech, genetic engineering, and artificial intelligence. The landscape is also much more alive and vibrant, with massive creatures roaming the ground and the skies, other planets dominating the horizon, and a tint of copper red/orange applied to the world, whose architecture is a curious mixture of almost Aztec-like structures and advanced anti-gravity technology. In this version of events, Krypton is quite the lackadaisical race; having grown weary of colonising other worlds, they’ve allowed themselves to become somewhat stagnant on their home world. Their society is comprised of genetically engineered individuals pre-programmed into specific roles, such as warriors, scientists, and politicians, and thus the infant Kal-El is the first natural birth in centauries. However, their hubris remains as steadfast as ever and they ignore Jor-El’s warnings that the planet’s core is quickly destabilising after (presumably) decades of mining it following an energy crisis. Realising the planet is doomed, Jor-El pleads with the Kryptonian Council to allow him access to the “Codex”, a complete record of their society and genetic history, in order to ensure that a new generation of Kryptonians survives the calamity, but his demands are quickly interrupted by a coup d’état led by General Zod, who disposes the council and causes the planet to erupt in all-out war despite the looming danger. Consequently, Man of Steel has an extremely chaotic opening where we’re bombarded with information and explosive visuals; Kal-El is born, Krypton is said to be close to destruction, war breaks out!, Kal-El is imbued with the vaguely-defined Codex and rocketed to safety, Zod kills Jor-El before his insurrection is quashed and is banished to the Phantom Zone alongside his cohorts, and then the planet explodes all within the first twenty minutes! While this is clearly important to give us a glimpse of Kryptonian society and the sacrifices his parents made, and absolutely a narrative device used in Superman media time and time again, I can’t help but feel like the opening could have been trimmed down a little and scattered throughout the film, especially as Jor-El’s holographic interface later gives Clark the rundown on these events, and Zod also relates things from his perspective, meaning we essentially learn the same information twice.

Having struggled with his powers, and guilt over his father’s death, Clark with his place in the world.

This bombastic and visual cacophony then gives way to a much more nuanced, grounded, and undeniably Nolan-influenced portion of the film where we jump ahead some thirty years to find the now grown-up Kal-El travelling Earth as Clark Kent and trying to get a better understanding of himself and the nature of humanity in order to figure out how best to utilise the fantastic abilities afforded him by our yellow sun. This narrative device makes far better use of the film’s run time to parallel Clark’s journey as an adult with his childhood growing up in Smallville, Kansas, where young Clark (Cooper Timberline and Dylan Sprayberry) was initially overwhelmed with his developing abilities, which cause him pain, discomfort, and fear and are framed very much as an allegory for puberty. Clark’s superhearing and x-ray vision are depicted as being harrowing for the young boy, who has a full-blown panic before his kindly adopted mother, Martha Kent (Diane Lane), helps him to focus himself, to block out the noise and the visions that plague him, and to master his abilities. As he grows older, he comes to resent having to hold himself back and to hide his powers, which very much sets up an ongoing moral conflict within the film. Indeed, his adopted father, Jonathan Kent (Costner), even suggests that he should have let a busload of his classmates drown rather than risk revealing himself since he’s of the firm belief that the world isn’t ready to accept the truth of what he is. However, Jonathan and Jor-El both believe that Clark, and his gifts, have world-changing implications; his presence will inspire both fear and hope, reverence and hostility, as humankind realises that they’re not alone in the universe and that their world has been forever changed. Jonathan recognises that this is not only a huge burden but will result in Clark being viewed as something other than human, whether for good or ill, and just wants his son to be prepared to either face up to this great destiny or to walk away from it without regret. Clark’s fear and confusion eventually turn into resentment and adolescent rage as he grows older and becomes tired of having to hide himself and lashes out at Jonathan without thinking, only to have to watch, helplessly, as his adopted father is swept away by a tornado since he was forbidden to act and expose himself before he was ready. While this death is overly dramatic and lacks the subtle nuance of Jonathan succumbing to a simple heart attack thus teaching Clark that even he cannot stop nature, it does result in him being so guilt-ridden that he travels the world to try and find himself and learn how best to honour his father.

Lois is integral to Clark’s decision to reveal himself as Superman and is at the forefront of the chaos.

By the time he’s an adult, Clark has experienced much of the conflicting nature of humanity; there are bullies and assholes but also those who will go out of their way to save others, proving that humankind has a spark of decency buried deep beneath the conflict. When he discovers the Kryptonian scout ship and meets the holographic representation of his birth father, Clark learns of his true heritage and the reason for his existence and finally discovers the means to reconcile the conflict within him. Donning an absolutely glorious alien suit and flowing cape, and inspired by both his fathers, Clark finds he has only begun to realise the true extent of his abilities as he defies Earth’s gravity, clearly basking in the feelings of liberation brought not only from flying through the air but from finally accepting his birthright. Clark is shown to have always had a strong relationship with Martha, who only ever showed him love and affection and tried to help him to focus his abilities. While both her and Jonathan loved him unconditionally, their methods at helping him through his adolescence and his burgeoning powers differed somewhat, as she was perfectly happy to just let him grow up, fully confident that he’d make the right decisions, whereas Jonathan continually went out of his way to stress that Clark is there for a reason and has a greater destiny. After Jonathan’s death, Clark’s bond with Martha grows even stronger, partially due to his guilt but also because she’s all that he has left and he flies into a rage when her life is threatened by Zod and his cronies later in the film. Of course, intrepid reporter Lois Lane (Adams) remains a central influence in Clark’s decision to embrace his destiny and put his powers to good use; depicted as a strong-willed, curious, and empathetic woman, Lois is a fearless reporter who doesn’t hesitate to put herself in harm’s way, or the most extreme environments, in order to get a good story. When she learns that a centuries-old Kryptonian scout ship has been located in the Canadian Arctic, she doesn’t hesitate to head out there, immediately establish herself as a woman of some fortitude before the somewhat disapproving Colonel Nathan Hardy/Guardian (Meloni), and even brave the frigid environment to get up close and personal with the ship. After she’s attacked by the Kryptonian security droids and Clark saves her life, she throws herself into trying to track down her mysterious saviour, much to the chagrin of her editor, Perry White (Lawrence Fishburne), and is intrigued by the many and varied reports of a superpowered do-gooder helping others before disappearing.

Strong supporting characters flesh out the world and ask new questions about Superman’s presence.

In a fantastic change of pace, Lois experiences Clark’s abilities and is privy to his identity right away, doing away with the need for him to assume the guise of a bumbling fool. Lois not only gives him the name Superman (in a roundabout way), but also plays an important role as an audience surrogate as she uses her reputation as a celebrated reporter to accompany and talk to him after he surrenders himself to the distrustful Lieutenant General Calvin Swanwick (Harry Lennix) and even goes with him to Zod’s ship after Superman willingly agrees to give himself up to spare his world. Cavill and Adams have a real tangible onscreen chemistry and Lois very much acts as a mediator between Clark’s somewhat sheltered upbringing, the awe that his presence (and unparalleled physicality) inspires, the suspicion of Swanwick and some others, and the demands of Zod. General Zod announces his arrival by broadcasting an ominous message across all media platforms and in all languages to deliver Clark with an ultimatum, thereby giving him another moral quandary over whether to surrender himself to the Kryptonians or to humanity, neither of which are particularly trustworthy. Zod isn’t alone in his mission, of course. He’s joined by a number of Kryptonian followers, the most prominent of which are Faora-Ul (Traue) and an unnamed towering brute who ransack Smallville to draw Superman out for a conflict. Much like Ursa (Sarah Douglas), Faora-Ul is absolutely devoted to General Zod and follows his every order without question. Interestingly, she sparks up a rivalry (and, apparently, a mutual attraction and respect) with Colonel Hardy during the conflict between the military and the Kryptonians that eventually drives them to go out in a burst of glory during the finale. Perry White also has quite a prominent role here; not only does he bust Lois’s balls over daring to suggest the Daily Planet print a story about aliens, but he’s also less than impressed that she protects Superman’s identity and actually takes an active role in helping his staff (and others) during the cataclysmic finale. Lieutenant General Swanwick takes the lead in the military’s investigation of Superman; legitimately concerned and thrown off by the revelation that an alien has been living amongst them for thirty-three years, he treats Superman with a great deal of apprehension since he has such incredible power but acts independently of anyone’s interests, to say nothing of those of the United States government.

Zod is a cruel and malicious warrior who is dedicated to ensuring the survival of the Kryptonian race.

I do think that the film would have benefitted from a slight restructuring to allow for a time jump between Clark discovering his suit and Zod’s arrival; Clark is Superman for barely a day before the Kryptonians arrive to cause havoc, meaning his first real test is right in the deep end against a bunch of fanatical warriors and I think it would have benefitted the film (and the sequel) to have had a bit of a montage that showed him performing superheroic feats across the world and lay the seeds for the hope and fear his presence inspired in people. Kryptonian society is a little different to what we saw in the old films; genetic engineering is the norm, so everyone has a predefined role; while Clark, as the first natural-born Kryptonian in centuries, is the exception to this rule, General Zod is a warrior through and through whose desire to ensure Krypton’s survival drives him to extreme and devastating actions that he couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. Having spent a great deal of time in exile and spurred by the perceived betrayal of his fellow Kryptonians, Zod is an interesting dichotomy; he’s both one-dimensional and multi-dimensional since he is fixated on ensuring Krypton’s survival and yet he’s genuinely hurt when Jor-El refuses to join forces with him in meeting this goal, and at being forced to fight against his old friend. Rather than being a criminal and a conqueror simply for personal glory, Zod seeks to terraform Earth and extract the Codex from Clark in order to rebuild Kryptonian society and is disgusted that Clark shares the same compassion and weakness as his father. As much as I was glad to see that Man of Steel avoided using typical Superman villains and devices like Lex Luthor and Kryptonite, I was a little disappointed that Zod was used as the main antagonist; Michael Shannon is amazing in the role, don’t get me wrong, exuding an intelligence and a malice that help him be as distinct from Terence Stamp’s memorable rendition of the character as Cavill is from Reeve, but I do think the film could’ve been largely the same, and actually somewhat superior, if Zod had been replaced with Brainiac. By taking influences from Superman: The Animated Series (1996 to 2000) and elements of the Eradicator and Zod’s fanatical fixation on rebuilding Kryptonian society, Brainiac could have helped the film stand out even more from its predecessors, and Michael Shannon could have brought the same calculating intensity to that role as he does to Zod, but I very much enjoyed how Zod was such a devious, manipulative, and brutal foe here.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Man of Steel owes more than a little to Nolan’s grounded and gritty take on Bruce Wayne/Batman in the Dark Knight trilogy; like those films, Man of Steel is a very serious and thought-provoking deconstruction of easily the most iconic superhero in all of comicdom. The film is front-loaded with themes regarding destiny, nature/nurture, and realising oneself in a world that’s not as black and white as we’d like. More than ever, Superman and General Zod are presented as thematic opposites; while Zod is pained to have killed his friend and is acting only in the interest of preserving his long-dead society, Superman is determined to safeguard his world and others but has struggled for his entire life with finding the means to do so. Both Jor-El and Jonathan see him as a world-changing symbol of hope and the capacity to achieve something greater, and he even wears his family crest (the symbol of hope) as Superman, but a prevailing concern throughout the film (which later turns out to be true) is that humanity will stumble, to say the least, in their efforts to keep pace with him. As ever, Superman is accompanied by strong religious themes; one of Jonathan’s many worries about him exposing himself is how it will change humanity’s perception of their beliefs in both scientific and religious teachings, when Zod arrives Clark communes with a priest (Coburn Goss) before surrendering himself (fitting, considering his dialogue with Jor-El clearly evokes a conversation with the Creator), and of course Superman adopts the image of the crucifix before dashing off to rescue Lois’s escape pod.

Superman, his enemies, the tech, and the entire film shines thanks to a strong visual identity.

One of the benefits of bringing in Zack Snyder is his strengths as a visual storyteller; Man of Steel is beautifully shot, utilising a subdued colour scheme that gives the film a very tangible, grounded aesthetic. Shots of Krypton, and Superman, are given a suitably grandiose sheen, making for some of the most impressive flying sequences in a Superman film yet and ensuring that Superman makes a lasting impact every time he’s onscreen. Snyder is far from a subtle storyteller, however, though, here, his tendencies are clearly tempered by Nolan’s more measured and intellectual approach. Still, Snyder’s propensity towards spectacle and engaging visuals results in some harrowing sequences; one of the standouts is a dream-like confrontation between Superman and Zod where the Man of Steel sinks beneath the skeletal remains of billions of murdered humans. Superman’s powers are somewhat subdued here, potentially to maintain the grounded tone of the film; Superman exhibits superhearing, vision, and strength but he and the other Kryptonians primarily rely on their heat vision, superspeed, and flight rather than freezing breath. Thanks to fully utilising modern technology, Man of Steel has the best flying sequences of any Superman movie, taking the lessons learned in Superman Returns and cranking them up to eleven. Snyder loves him some dramatic camera zoom; it’s a little overused but actually makes it feel as though the camera is tracking the action and flying in real-time. Of course, I have to gush about Cavill’s super-suit; yes, debates will rage seemingly for all eternity about whether he should have trunks or not but this is, for me, the best Superman costume we’ve ever seen in live-action. The symbol is alien, and yet familiar, and the texture work is sublime. His cape is nice and long and flowing, making for some dramatic shots as it billows out behind him, and the colour grading allows it to be both colourful and realistic without being overly comic book-y. While the Kryptonian suits are all CGI, you’d never know it since they never appear to be fake; I love how they’re all garbed in this functional dark armour, which is a brilliant thematic and visual parallel between their dark designs for Earth and Superman’s heroism. Krypton and its technology are far more alien than is the norm, comprised of squid-like robotic aides, a sort of nanotechnology used for communication, and a life-like holographic projection of Jor-El that guides Superman and helps Lois. When Superman arrives on the Kryptonian ship and learns about his society, there’s a distinct visual contrast between himself and the world he knows on Earth and this unknown alien society, which is similar to ours but fundamentally different and far more advanced in so many ways.

Metropolis is wrecked by the destructive conflict in scenes analogous to a disaster movie.

Superman ultimately embraces aspects of both worlds by donning a Kryptonian suit and his father’s crest and using his powers to benefit his adopted world while also being mindful of his adopted father’s fears that society will never fully trust, or embrace, him due to how different he is. Thanks to having lived on Earth for his entire life, Clark has fully mastered all of the sensory bombardment that comes from his powers, however he’s still learning and is untested in operating in public. Onboard Zod’s ship, Superman is rendered powerless and as vulnerable as they are when exposed to Earth’s atmosphere, which initially causes them crippling pain. However, the Kryptonians are born and bred warriors, trained to master their senses and their environment, so quickly adapt to the atmosphere and the powers that come with it; they’re also far more adept at fighting than Clark, and not only outnumber him but have devastating terraforming technology at their disposal, meaning Superman faces a very real and formidable physical threat throughout the film. This results in Man of Steel being almost the exact opposite of Superman Returns, and its other predecessors, as it features more action, fight scenes, and depictions of gratuitous destruction than you could ever hope for…and it’s pretty freakin’ glorious! Even Jor-El gets in on the action, donning both the Superman suit and Kryptonian armour, blasting at Zod’s forces, flying through the battle that rages in Krypton’s sky, and even going toe-to-toe with Zod himself to help establish that Superman’s fighting spirit and defiance is potentially inherited from his father. The action is intense and brutal, with a huge area of Metropolis and Smallville being destroyed as Superman ploughs his opponents through buildings and Zod’s World Engine machine devastating the city with its energy cannon. This Superman is an extremely emotional and reactive character who flies into a rage and is determined to tackle his enemies using brute force, meaning untold collateral damage in the process that received a lot of backlash but is clearly evoking the imagery of cataclysmic events such as 9/11 to show how these God-like beings pose a real danger to the world. While I can’t deny that Snyder definitely went way overboard with the destruction caused during the finale (Metropolis literally looks like it’s been entirely wiped out at one point, and Superman sends Zod’s ship crashing right into the heart of the city, which absolutely killed thousands of people), Clark’s just become Superman and is being threatened by a formidable force who won’t listen to reason, so he’s not as experienced as his predecessor or comic book counterpart. Plus, I think it’s important to remember that Superman does make an effort, wherever possible, to save lives; hell, the entire reason Colonel Hardy learns to trust Superman is because he saved his life, and he pushes himself to the absolute limit to destroy the World Engine in the Indian Ocean, thus saving the entire world from destruction.

Superman takes drastic action to end Zod’s threat and settles into his new life as an unassuming reporter.

With his ship downed, his World Engine destroyed thanks to Superman and Hardy’s sacrifice, and his followers all dead, General Zod is left utterly devastated; he’s lost his world, the last remnants of his people, and his entire reason for living (nay, being) has been brought to ruins all because Superman, the son of his former friend and hated enemy, chose his adopted world over his birth planet. Fuelled by his rage, and his commitment to ensuring the greater good of his people, Zod flies into a brutal and merciless assault, resulting in a vicious battle between him and Superman through the remains of Metropolis. Thanks to the benefits of modern day effects, this fight isn’t restricted in the same way as the finale of Superman II was, allowing Superman and Zod to plough through buildings, tear through walls, smash through a Wayne Enterprises satellite in the upper atmosphere, and finally gives us the violent and exciting airborne fist fight we’ve wanted from a Superman film since seeing The Matrix Revolutions (Wachowski Brothers, 2003). Although the battle has already cost the lives of God-knows how many, Superman is ultimately faced with an impossible decision; trapped in a headlock, General Zod refuses to ever stop his destructive vendetta and threatens to immolate a nearby family with his heat vision, leaving Superman no choice but to break the fanatical Kryptonian’s neck to end his threat once and for all. Again, this sparked a great deal of controversy and I can fully understand that, but it’s not as if Superman hasn’t killed Zod before (he did it in Superman II (twice, actually) and famously did executed him the comics, too) and I would much rather have Superman forced to make that decision and then learn to deal with it rather than just sweep it under the rug because he’s supposed to “be better”. In the aftermath, Superman maintains that Swanwick will just have to trust that he’s there to help and isn’t a threat to humanity (something that, sadly, is a focal point of the sequel) and, in a move that I was genuinely surprised to see, goes to work with Lois at the Daily Planet. Considering how fast and loose Man of Steel played Superman’s identity, I was almost sure that Snyder would avoid using this trope but it is tradition, after all, and the film ends with the hope that the world will change for the better following Superman’s arrival (which, again, would be dashed in the sequel…)

The Summary:
After years of Superman being pigeon-holed into this outdated Silver Age characterisation as a God-like being forever embodied by Christopher Reeve, Man of Steel was a real breath of fresh air for the character and really changed the perception and portrayal of the character in interesting ways. I’ve said it before but playing Superman is no mean feat because Reeve cast a very long, dark shadow and comparisons will always be made between him and every actor to take on the tights and cape, but Cavill really brought a physicality and charisma that hadn’t been seen for some time. It helps that he’s an absolute beefcake, but his suit is incredible, and I enjoyed the deeper insight into his relationship with humanity and the burden of living up to the responsibility of his incredible powers. It’s maybe a bit too grounded and gritty and dour for a Superman film, especially as he’s meant to be a paragon of truth, justice, and the American Way, but I think it did a great job of introducing a new version of Superman to a new generation of audiences. The visual presentation and explosive action is an absolute spectacle; there’s a real sense of danger and consequence when Superman throws hands with his Kryptonian foes that may not be the most subtlest approach to take when it comes to disastrous events but absolutely makes for the most action-packed Superman film yet. Man of Steel is only bolstered by strong performances across the board; there’s a fantastic chemistry between Lois and Clark, Zod is a malicious and spiteful despot, and even the supporting actors all do a wonderful job of grounding this world and setting the stage for the coming DCEU. It’s a shame that so many people couldn’t get past the wanton destruction and more controversial aspects as there’s a lot to like here, and even more of a shame that Snyder (and Warner Bros.) squandered all the potential of this world with the follow-up by presenting Superman as a contentious figure and then killing him. While I have grown to despise die-hard Snyder fans and their antagonistic behaviour, I still really enjoy Man of Steel and am incredible happy with how it all came together to deliver a Superman much more in line with what I wanted to see onscreen.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Man of Steel? What did you think to Henry Cavill’s performance as Superman and how do you think he compares to other live-action Superman? Did you enjoy the new interpretation of Krypton? What did you think to the extended discussion regarding Clark’s powers and place in the world? Did you enjoy the way the film handled his secret identity and the new suit? What did you think to this version of General Zod? Were you put off by the destruction and Zod’s execution or did you enjoy the more violent aspects of the film? What is your favourite Superman story, character, or piece of media? How did you celebrate Superman Day this month? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to share them below or leave a comment on my social media.

Movie Night: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Released: 22 May 2008
Director: Steven Spielberg
Distributor:
Paramount Pictures
Budget: $185 million
Stars:
Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen, Ray Winstone, and John Hurt

The Plot:
When greaser Mutt Williams (LaBeouf) drops into his life with the news that his old friend, Professor Harold Oxley (Hurt), has gone insane and been captured by Nazi forces seeking the legendary Crystal Skulls, aging archaeologist and adventure-seeker Doctor Henry Jones Jr. (Ford), better known as “Indiana Jones” (or simply “Indy”), sets out on a life-changing rescue mission.

The Background:
Inspired by the pulp serials of his youth, George Lucas came up with the concept of Indiana Jones in the 1970s and, alongside director Steven Spielberg and star Harrison Ford, produced the critical and commercial hit Raiders of the Lost Ark (Spielberg, 1981), the controversially violent Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (ibid, 1984), and the highly-lauded (and highly profitable) third entry, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (ibid, 1989) to create one of cinema’s most influential franchises. Lucas and Spielberg initially made a deal to make five Indiana Jones movies for Paramount Pictures but, when they struggled to come up with a suitable story for a fourth film, focus shifted to the prequel series, The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (1992 to 1993). While filming Harrison Ford’s cameo as an aged version of Indy for this series, Lucas was inspired by the concept of an older character tangling with B-movie-style aliens in the 1950s; although both Ford and Spielberg criticised the idea, Lucas pushed forward with a script, which would include the return of Sean Connery and Indy getting married, but the idea was summarily quashed upon the blockbuster release of Independence Day (Emmerich, 1996). However, by 2000, the idea was revived and refined to centre around the mysterious crystal skulls. Work on the script, and getting the project off the ground, stalled between 2002 and 2005 as the plot shifted away from the Nazis and towards the Cold War and, when filming finally began in June 2007, the production stayed firmly in the United States so Spielberg could stay close to his family. Although practical stunts and effects were emphasised to retain the style of the previous films, with the aging Ford still performing many of his own stunts, over 450 CGI shots ended up being incorporated to create the sci-fi elements and more dangerous aspects of the action, the quality of which was the subject of scathing criticism. Indeed, while Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’s $790.7 million worldwide box office made it a huge success, reviews were mixed; while the action sequences and lead performances were praised, its execution and effects were criticised. The film was openly mocked for its more over the top elements and even star Shia LaBeouf spoke out against the film, a decision he later came to regret and potentially impacted his future in the franchise. Despite the overwhelming negative reception of the film, a fifth entry was announced soon after the franchise fell under the vast umbrella of the Walt Disney Company to continue the series, for better or worse.

The Review:
Unlike many my age, I didn’t really grow up with the Indiana Jones movies; I’d seen bits of them, maybe all of one, as a kid but it wasn’t until I was a little older that I really started getting into them. For years, it was one of the great constants and reliefs of my life that we had these three movies, a pretty consistent trilogy that was largely well regarded, and that I didn’t have to worry about any re-releases taking up more of my time, space, or money. And then, out of nowhere, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull came along. Almost twenty years after the last Indiana Jones adventure, in a climate where action cinema had not only changed so much but was on the cusp of exploding into fantastical superhero productions, Indiana Jones was set to return and I, like many, met this with a mixture of excitement and uncertainty. Harrison Ford had aged pretty well but had largely moved on from his more action-orientated roles, to say nothing of outright disowning some of them, but the concept of an aging hero returning to the fold was becoming popular at the time and, like Lucas’s epic sci-fi series, Indiana Jones is as much a popular brand as it is a character so it was guaranteed to bring audiences in on the name alone. For me, this movie also offered the first chance I’d ever had to see an Indiana Jones adventure on the big screen, adding to its allure, despite my personal dislike for Shia LeBeouf and the scepticism I had about the film, negatives that ultimately came to influence my perception of the movie, especially compared to its predecessors.

Though older and jaded, Indy still retains his adventurous spirit and curiosity despite the dangers.

As ever, Indy’s reputation proceeds him; he’s specifically captured by the Russians because of his knowledge of Area 51 and, similar to the ending of Raider of the Lost Ark, is just as intrigued and excited by the secrets that are contained within it even when he has a butt-load of guns pointing at him. Seemingly having learned nothing after his experiences both on and, presumably, off-screen, Indy continues to scoff at superstitions and legends, particularly the idea of psychic powers, and is instead driven by the science and opportunity presented by such artefacts as the titular crystal skull. Interestingly, between movies, Indy was drafted into the war effort and contributed to the fight against the Axis Powers, coming out the other side with a war record and the rank of Colonel, indicating a development from a morally grey mercenary and tomb raider, to scholar and part-time government agent, to a fully-fledged and highly decorated patriot willing to go to war for his country. He’s thus understandably infuriated to be accused of treason thanks to his association with turncoat former MI6 agent George “Mac” McHale (Winstone), and with the shroud of secrecy and paranoia that has overtaken the American government since the war, especially concerning the Roswell incident that he was forced to advise on, and force both him and his friend, Dean Charles Stanforth (Broadbent), out of the university. Interestingly, Indy has noticeably grown in other ways; he’s more likely to consider the consequences of his actions and recognises the odds are against him now that he’s older, and also encourages his students to get out of the library, which is in stark contrast to his teachings from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Yet, at the same time, it seems Indy has resigned himself to his teaching; he’s taken away from the classroom against his will and even openly introduces and refers to himself as Henry Jones, Jr. rather than his more adventurous nickname. Indy remains as well-read and learned as ever; of course, in this case, it helps that he advised on the Roswell remains and that he has first-hand knowledge of the crystal skulls thanks to his former friendship with Harold Oxley. It’s because of this that he’s able to decipher Oxley’s riddles and begin the film’s globe-trotting adventure, one that seems him decoding the old man’s mad scribbles and notes very similar to piecing together the notes from his father’s diary in the last film.

Rebellious greaser Mutt is stunned to learn this Indy is his real father.

Thanks to being set in 1957, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull takes place during a time of free-spirited teenage rebellion; fun-loving kids take joyrides through the desert for a thrill, hang out at diners, and obsess over rock ‘n’ roll music. Accordingly, image and style are important to these youths, none more so than greaser Mutt Williams, a hot-headed upstart garbed in a leather jacket, infatuated with his slicked hair, and quick to defend his mother and himself from any perceived slights. Embodying a “too cool for school” attitude, Mutt was raised by his mother, Marion Ravenwood (Allen), without any knowledge of his true father; instead, he saw Oxley as father figure after his own father died in the war and has no idea that Oxley’s old protégé, Indy, is his real father. Of course, anyone with half a brain can see this twist coming a mile away but Indy remains oblivious for some time, meaning he and Mutt initially bond as peers; Indy encourages him to do his own thing and to follow his passions, advice he immediately retracts once he learns he’s Mutt’s father. As the youngest of the film’s protagonists, Mutt naturally takes centre stage in many of the action sequences; armed with a switchblade, the fighting spirit of youth, and willing to throw or ride into danger without a thought for the consequences, Mutt is very much the rebellious boy Indy was seen as by his own father. Though he’s still capable of holding his own in a fight, venturing into the field, and pulling off some insane tricks when his back’s against the wall, even Indy despairs of Mutt’s cavalier attitude; he’s of a generation that Indy doesn’t quite understand, forcing Indy into a scolding, cantankerous role of disgruntled mentor and father not entirely unlike the strict demeanour of Professor Henry Jones, Sr. (Sean Connery). While there’s a lot he admires about Mutt, the youngster is an emotional and volatile greaser who underestimates Indy’s skills and abilities and yet is dependent on his elder to figure out what happened to Oxley since mythology and history aren’t Mutt’s strength.

Indy’s quest sees him betrayed and reunited with old flames and friends alike.

Despite the tensions running throughout the United States and federal agents being quick to point the finger at him, Indy still isn’t short on allies; while the bumbling Marcus Brody (Denholm Elliott) and Indy’s own father have died between movies (proving once and for all that, despite vague allusions to the contrary, neither Henry or Indy were granted everlasting youth or immortality by the Holy Grail), Indy still has a friend at the university, one willing to put his own career on the line to at least keep Indy tenuously connected to the institute, and eventually comes to bond with Mutt despite them both being aghast to learn of their true heritage. Indy and Marion’s reunion goes about as well as in Raiders of the Lost Ark but is given an extra wrinkle by the fact that she managed to move on after him and has become determined to shield her son from following Indy’s reckless ways to the point where she’s very overprotective of him and reluctantly reveals that his true name is Henry Jones III only when she and Indy face imminent death from a dry sand pit. From there, she gets swept up in their adventure as Indy’s deciphering of Oxley’s mad ravings leads them through the hazardous Amazon jungle to the lost city of Akator, resulting in some heated exchanges and, ultimately, the rekindling of their romance as neither can deny the attraction they still feel and are united in their affection for Mutt. Indy is distraught after seeing his old friend and mentor’s mental state when reunited with him in Peru; driven mad by prolonged contact with a crystal skull, Oxley is little more than a raving lunatic, a fact that breaks Mutt’s heart and unsettles Indy, who scoffs at the legends and rumours surrounding the crystalline artefacts. While largely relegated to comic relief, more of Oxley’s true self begins to bubble to the surface as he sees Indy in action and his research proves crucial to locating Akator, though only Indy is able to make practical use of it since Oxley’s in no state to share his knowledge and his rantings are beyond the expertise of the Russians.

Irina is determined to acquire the power of the crystal skull to dominate the minds and wills of others.

In a nice change of pace, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull uses the Soviets as its primary antagonist rather than the Nazis; while functionally not too different, the Russian antagonists rely more on subterfuge and deception that blunt execution, posing as American military personnel to force their way into Area 51 and allowing Indy to do all the heavy lifting for them. The sense of distrust and geopolitical tension between these two superpowers is best embodied by Mac, an old ally of Indy’s from the Second World War who routinely betrays both friend and foe alike, his motivations never fully known, all to serve his own ends. Mac’s constant betrayals end up coming across more as a running gag and a constant annoyance; since we’ve never seen this character before, it’s hard to care when he turns on Indy and I can’t help but feel it might’ve meant more if this had been a character like Sallah (John Rhys-Davis) who we’d had a previous relationship with. His knowledge of Indy’s methods is invaluable to the alluring and menacing Colonel-Doctor Irina Spalko (Blanchett), a cold-hearted Russian agent who seems to example some form of telepathy, or at least empathetic powers, in order to forcibly extract information from her victims. An efficient and driven individual, Irinia maintains her composure at all times, proving swift and deft with her rapier and maintaining an eerie, unblinking façade no matter what’s happening around her. With little time for Indy’s antics or pointless delays, Irina isn’t above slaughtering an entire people or threatening anyone and everyone that gets in her way, torturing Oxley and holding him captive to the point of driving him to near madness in her search for the fabled crystal skulls, with which she and her fellow comrades plan to brainwash the world into following their will. While we don’t really learn all that much about her, Irina has a strange allure to her; she and Indy have a bit of a love/hate relationship which means that actually work well together when figuring out Akator’s location, and they could’ve been allies or perhaps even lovers in another set of circumstances, but her ruthlessness and dreams of world conquest are decidedly at odds with Indy’s quest to return the crystal skull to is resting place so its masters can finally leave our world.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seeks to evoke the spirit of Raiders of the Lost Ark, essentially tarnishing Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom as an aberration, a perpetual and unfortunate black sheep whose themes and presentation are secondary to the title font, structure, and narrative of the first movie. This means we not only get a classic Paramount Pictures logo, the return of the more subdued credits font, and a chance to see Indy teaching at the university, but also that the film explicitly references the first movie by finally exploring that secret government warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant was stored at the end of Raiders. To be fair, Indy still cuts an impressive figure despite his advanced age, but there’s a gruffness and weariness about him that’s to be expected now that he’s past his prime; he’s as adaptable as ever, maintaining his adventurous spirit and still capable of tackling multiple foes at once, but he’s much less optimistic about his odds and relies far more on elaborate tricks rather than his fists. Indeed, it’s telling that he barely uses his whip in this movie (though, to be fair, he didn’t use it much in Raiders…) and that there are numerous references to his age getting the better of him. These are played for laughs and give the character a sense of vulnerability and desperation that was either lacking or framed somewhat differently in the previous movies, where he was always flying by the seat of his pants, but do make me question the logic of portraying an older Indy in such an action-orientated fashion. Sure, Harrison Ford can clearly still go, or at least to the best of his ability, but recontextualising him in a way where he’s coming to the end of his adventurous ways (or, to put it another way, getting “too old for this shit”) and having to begrudgingly rely on Mutt in a twist on Indy’s relationship with his eccentric father might’ve been a better fit for me since I feel Indy’s character works best when he’s in his physical prime.

The move really ups the ante into ridiculousness with its comical set pieces and action.

This means that Indy is even more on the backfoot than ever before which, again, is great for crafting a wily and vulnerable action hero but can lead to him looking a little foolish at times as he’s dominated by physically fitter enemies and forced to rely on pratfalls like incinerating a bunch of soldiers using a rocket engine and causing a brawl at a diner to escape the Russkies. Although I consider it an under-rated entry in the franchise, even I cant deny that Temple of Doom went a little over the top with its cartoonish humour and action sequences, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has it beaten thanks to two notorious set pieces. The first sees Indy stumble into a makeshift town designed to test the effects of an atomic bomb; literally at ground zero, Indy chooses to ride out the blast by shutting himself in a lead-lined fridge freezer. Somehow, despite being blasted clear across town by the resulting explosion, Indy emerges with barely a scratch on him and then immediately stops to admire the immense mushroom cloud left by the explosion, surely undoing whatever protection this tactic would’ve granted him and resulting in a sequence that’s so over the top that it may as well be in orbit! Mutt certainly follows in his old man’s footsteps in this regard; not only does he lash out at the Russians without a clear plan in mind, he’s able to put his fencing skills to the test against Irina while…somehow…maintaining his balance between two vehicles as the jungle swats at his crotch. Although he puts up a decent fight, he’s massively outclassed by the Russian, and most foes; like his father, Mutt has wiles and guts but not the greatest finesse in a fight. Given when the film was made, and the reputation of George Lucas at the time, it’s no surprise that CGI is a huge part of the film; even seemingly innocuous elements, like rodents, monkeys, and army ants are now rendered using dated and largely cartoonish computer effects rather than the tried-and-true practical efforts of the previous films. To be fair, there are many practical effects, car chases, and fight sequences that are more in keeping with the previous movies, especially when Indy and Mutt are exploring the ruins in Peru and the ancient hieroglyphics of Akator, but many of these are unnecessarily “enhanced” by ugly CGI.

Whether you accept the aliens’ presence in the film or not is really a matter of personal preference.

It’s been said by many that one of the reasons Kingdom of the Crystal Skull doesn’t work is because of the central narrative involving aliens, an element that many feel doesn’t belong in an Indiana Jones. I’m not entirely convinced that this is true; yes, the previous movies all had a supernatural and paranormal bent, ones deeply entrenched in religion, but Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is expanding upon real-world myths and conspiracy theories, such as the Roswell spacecraft crash and the titular crustal skulls, which have long been believed by many to be extraterrestial in origin, and these elements are framed in a way that’s in keeping with the previous films, where elements such as voodoo and religious mythology were revered in an almost magical context. Ultimately, my issue isn’t that aliens were included; in fact, I quite enjoy the depictions of the creatures and their crafts, which is in keeping with sci-fi movies and stories of the time. No, my issue is in the execution of the aliens, especially in the finale, where they’re brought to life through some truly horrendous CGI, and the explanation that they are “interdimensional beings” from “the space between spaces”, as though the filmmakers backed out at the very last minute regarding the extraterrestial nature of these beings. Another butt-ugly sequence sees Spielberg abandon practical effects in favour of cartoonish CGI and an obvious overabundance of green screen during the jeep chase through the Amazon jungle. Here, disturbingly fake trees and hazards whip by in a blur and Mutt ends up ridiculously swinging from vines alongside a gaggle of moneys, with the only thing missing being a Tarzan scream, which blasts the realms of believability right out of the water.

The aliens dispatch of Irinia and disappear, leaving Indy to undertake perhaps the greatest adventure yet…

After overcoming a series of hazards each more comical than the last, including surviving three waterfalls and the aforementioned army ants, Indy and the others finally find the lost city of Akator, where they’re attacked by a tribe of savages. Thankfully, these primitives both revere and fear the crystal skull our heroes possess, allowing them to scale the overgrown pyramid-like temple and finally figure a way inside, where they’re met by a series of suitably thrilling boobytraps such as temporary stone platforms and a spike pit filled with less fortunate tomb raiders. Even Indy is awestruck by the collection of treasures held within but, while Mac loads himself up with as much gold as he can carry to satisfy his greed, Indy uses the skull to unlock a door to an impressive chamber seemingly made of gold and in which sit the crystalline skeletons of thirteen extraterrestrial visitors, one of which is missing its skull. Betrayed by Mac one last time, Indy and the others can only watch as the captivated Irinia enters the chamber and reunites the skeleton with its skull; speaking through Oxley, the creature offers to reward them and Irinia volunteers without hesitation, desperate to know the truth and the limits of the aliens’ powers and origins. She gets far more than she could’ve ever imagined, however, when the temple whirs to life, crumbling away around them; the Russkies are swept away to another dimension, Mac is unable to control his greed and perishes as a result despite Indy’s best efforts, and Irinia is so overwhelmed by the aliens’ true nature that she immolates into nothingness from the sheer awesomeness of their psychic power. Indy and the others are swept to safety by a sudden rush of water and can only watch in awe as the flying saucer disappears out of existence, the experience having returned Oxley to his senses and brought Indy and Marion back together. Indeed, after years of messing around and denying their feelings, the two finally marry in the finale, seemingly putting an end to Indy’s adventurous ways. However, as Mutt retrieves his father’s hat and prepares to don it for himself, Indy snatches it away at the last second with a cheeky smile, indicating that he’s not quite ready to pass the torch on to the next generation.

The Summary:
If there’s a word to describe Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it’s definitely “divisive”. Like many people, I came away from this movie feeling less than impressed and, even now, it’s my least watched of the entire franchise. Whenever it’s on television I avoid it and I went into this review fully expecting to give it a sold two-star summary, but I’m actually going to be a little lenient on it and bump it up to three stars. Is it perfect? No, not even a little bit. Is it on par with any of the previous movies? Absolutely not, but how much of that is down to nostalgia raising their quality in our eyes as fans of the franchise and its star? There are some good qualities to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull; it continues the adventurous spirit of the previous films, expands and explores Indy’s character in new ways, and does a pretty good job of depicting him as a disgruntled, aging hero who’s suddenly forced into becoming the last thing he ever expected: a father. Mutt, in concept, is a pretty good counterpart to Indy; filled with the gusto of rebellious youth, he’s everything Indy isn’t and yet they share the same spirit and compliment each other well, despite my dislike for Shia LaBeouf. I enjoy the few practical effects employed in the movie and that the film uses new antagonists and goes down new avenues; even the idea of aliens being the focal point of the film is intriguing to me. However, some of the execution is flawed and it definitely hobbles the film; the CGI, some of the characterisations, and the decision to even depict an older Indy chief amongst them. Yet, I quite enjoyed this latest watch of it; it’s definitely got way more issues than any of its predecessors but it’s entertaining enough for what it is, though I’d still recommend you just re-watch The Last Crusade again instead.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? What did you think to the idea of an aging Indy? Which of the film’s more ridiculous aspects annoyed or entertained you the most? Were you a fan of Mutt and the idea of Indy being a father? What did you think to the incorporation of aliens into the franchise, and do you think they are suitable for an Indiana Jones film? If not, what would you have preferred to see in their place? What is your current ranking of the Indiana Jones movies? Whatever you think about Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, feel free to share your memories of Indiana Jones in the comments or on my social media.

Back Issues: Spider-Man 2099 #1-3

This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Writer: Peter David – Artist: Rick Leonardi

Story Title: “Stan Lee Presents Spider-Man 2099”
Published: 1 September 1992 (cover-dated: November 1992)

Story Title: “Nothing Ventured”
Published: 6 October 1992 (cover-dated: December 1992)

Story Title: “Nothing Gained”
Published: 3 November 1992 (cover-dated: January 1993)

The Background:
Back in 1962, Marvel Comics editor and head writer Stan Lee, hot off the smash hit that was the Fantastic Four, soon achieved even greater success with teenage superhero icon Peter Parker/Spider-Man. After his debut in Amazing Fantasy #15 became one of Marvel’s best selling titles, Spider-Man’s popularity saw him graduate to his own solo title barely a year later and become perhaps the most recognisable character in Marvel’s colourful repertoire. Over the years, Spider-Man has endured many changes, and not all of them for the best: there was the time he grew four extra arms, the whole clone debacle that is still widely regarded as one of the character’s lowest points, the introduction and subsequent popularity of Miles Morales, a noir-themed Spider-Man, Peter Porker the Amazing Spider-Ham, and, of course, the Spider-Man of the future, Miguel O’Hara. In 1992, Marvel Comics presented an alternative future for their costumed characters, the cyberpunk era of 2099, where many of their most recognisable heroes and villains were reinterpreted with a gloss of futuristic sheen. Spider-Man 2099 debuted in this self-titled series and was designed by artist Rick Leonardi, though it was writer Peter David who created his alter ego, whose debut issue became David’s highest-selling comic. In fact, Spider-Man 2099 would prove to be the most successful of all the Marvel 2099 comics; it ran for forty-six issues before financial issues caused the run to be cancelled, but Miguel remained a mainstay of Marvel’s far-flung future and crossed over to the mainstream Marvel universe on more than one occasion both in and out of the comics, before finally returning in an ongoing series in 2014. Spider-Man 2099 is often regarded as one of the better alternate versions of the web-slinger, and with good reason; personally, I’ve always been a fan of his costume, the unique nature of his powers, and his cyberpunk future and was very excited to see him take centre stage in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (Dantos, Powers, and Thompson, 2023).

The Review:
Considering how successful and popular Spider-Man 2099 was and still is in the grand scheme of things, it’s a shame that this original run from the early-nineties is so hard to come by. While many of his later stories are widely available, and the second collection of this run is currently quite affordable, physical copies of the first volume have skyrocketed, despite a re-release coming not too long ago. Luckily, I was able to grab a copy of the first volume to finally get a taste of Spider-Man 2099, but it does irk me that Marvel’s physical publications are often either hard to come by or extortionately expensive, especially their stories from the nineties. Nevertheless, our story begins in medias res with Spider-Man being pursued through the New York City of the future by officers of the Public Eye, the law enforcement arm of this future world. They, like practically everything in the city, are funded by Alchemax, a hugely influential conglomerate that practically owns the city; basically think if Omni-Consumer Products (OCP) actually succeeded in building and dominating Delta City. The officers chase Spider-Man relentlessly but are stunned by how fast and agile he is; no matter how hard they try, they can’t land a shot on him and they can barely keep up with him, much less compete with his web-slinging, webbed airfoils that allow him to glide and influence his airspeed, and his razor-sharp talons. These abilities allow Spider-Man to easily give the cops the slip and leave them humiliated before a gaggle of awed onlookers, and our story shifts to Babylon Towers, where an exhausted half-Mexican, half-Irish Miguel O’Hara returns to his flat (or “apartment” for you Americans) only to be greeted by a series of holographic messages that further compound his already dire mood. Messages from the likes of Tyler Stone, Miguel’s brother Gabriel “Gabe” O’Hara, and Miguel’s fiancée, Dana D’Angelo, indicate that Miguel is not only mixed up in some ethically questionable activities with Alchemax but also hooked on drugs that are seriously messing him up. But what does Miguel have to do with the mysterious new web-slinger in town? Well, for that, the story has Miguel record a journal entry that sheds some light on the connection.

When smart mouthed Miguel is addicted to drugs by his boss, he turns to genetic research to cure himself…

Miguel was the head of a project researching gene alteration at Alchemax; though a genius who envisioned recreating the amazing superhuman abilities of Spider-Man for the company’s Corporate Raiders, Miguel had little respect for the chain of command, resulting in a strained relationship between him and his superior, Aaron Delgato, a J. Jonah Jameson type who didn’t appreciate Miguel’s smart mouth or disrespectful attitude. Miguel’s quick wit even extended to Tyler Stone, the head of the Alchemax Corporation; however, Tyler countered Miguel’s brashness not with blustering frustration like Delgato but with an insistence of advancing to human testing. Although Miguel disagreed with this decision, to defy Tyler would be to leave the volunteer, Mr. Sims, in Delgato’s hands and, as Miguel didn’t trust Delgato with the technology, Miguel begrudgingly agrees to start small, planning only to slightly alter Mr. Sim’s genes to grant him superhuman strength, and was horrified when the procedure transformed the man into a feral, monstrous beast that attempted to kill its creator before dying. In many ways, this was a self-fulfilling prophecy; Miguel states he designed his “transformation chamber” after an old “holo”, The Fly (Cronenberg, 1986), so it’s only fitting that Mr. Sims would become a mindless grotesque upon first use. Still, Tyler was impressed by the display of superhuman strength, and Miguel was so disgusted by the entire ordeal that he quit from Alchemax. While Tyler wasn’t happy with this decision, he appeared to support it and even promised to give Miguel a glowing recommendation, though this was all a ruse; Tyler slipped a dollop of the drug Rapture into his wine to force Miguel to be reliant upon Alchemax to survive since they’re the only licensed distributor the highly addictive hallucinogen. The Rapture quickly took hold, driving Miguel into a rage and causing him to strike Dana; though she was forgiving and supportive of him, Miguel was incensed by the betrayal and the prospect of spending his life as a drug addict, so he returned to his lab in a bid to use his research to cure himself. However, Delgato alters the program of out spite, determined to pay Miguel back for speaking down to him and attempting to kill Miguel by infusing him with the spider DNA he was toying with earlier.

The mysterious new Spider-Man attracts Alchemax’s attention and sees him hunted by a cyborg.

Despite the system overloading and an almighty explosion, Delgato was stunned to find Miguel not only alive, but sporting fanged teeth, white eyes, and with spiked talons on his fingers. Terrified by Miguel’s monstrous appearance, Delgato opened fire, determined to both defend himself from what he saw as an attack and finish the job he started, but Miguel’s newfound agility allowed him to easily dodge the blasts. Delgato’s wild firing caused another explosion, though, that left him dangling precariously over the city below and, when Miguel tried to pull him up, his talons sliced into Delgato’s arm and caused him such agony that he plummeted to his death. Horrified by this, and with the Public Eye bursting in to investigate the lab, Miguel attempted to leap to his death, only to find himself capable of scaling walls with his talons and possessing the proportionate strength and speed of a spider. Cursing Delgato’s interference and cowardice, and finding himself unable to go through with his suicide, Miguel then caught a lift off a passing Thorite (a doomsayer dressed up like Thor Odinson who was flying around the city on a hang glider calling for people to repent). Caught up in the excitement of the escape, Miguel offhandedly referred to himself as Spider-Man, much to the delight of the Thorite, who saw it as a sure sign of his saviour’s second coming; while the Thorite was clearly nuts, he did help spirit Miguel to safety and encouraged him to mask his face like the wall-crawler of old. Thanks to the investigation of one of his elite operatives, the cybernetic bounty hunter-esque Venture, Tyler learns of the spider-powered individual; however, for all the technology of the future, all they have to go on are wireframe holographic recreations, so they have no idea of Spider-Man’s true identity and Venture was tasked with tracking him down.

When Venture comes calling, Miguel dons an awesome costume and engages him as Spider-Man.

Miguel returned home in a fever and woke to find that he has an aversion to bright lights and had shredded his bedding with his talons and that they instinctively retract whenever they come close to his skin, leaving him unharmed and with the hope that he can learn to consciously retract them in time or else he faces the prospect of shelling out for clothes made of “unstable molecules”. The only outfit he has made of this super-durable and malleable substance is a “Death’s Head” costume he wore to the Day of the Dead festival the previous year, and Miguel considers wearing it full time since his newfound condition spells the end of his normal life. After his home A.I., Lyla, tried and failed to cheer him up by changing its appearance to that of a snooty butler and frail old aunt, Gabe dropped by to check in on him; surprisingly, Miguel was very open about his condition, but Gabe naturally laughed it off in favour of lecturing him about Alchemax’s shady nature. Miguel was forced to toss Gabe out when he got an inkling of danger (a “spider-sense”, if you will) and spotted Venture outside his apartment building. Recognising the cyborg as one of Alchemax’s elite trackers, Miguel donned the Death’s Head outfit to turn Venture’s attention away from him and firmly towards Spider-Man. Although Miguel’s first attempt at intimidating the elite cyborg is less than he hoped and he struggles to work the costume’s webfoils, he managed to get the drop on Venture and catch him off-guard, only to be goaded into a fight when Venture attacked the Thorites who bravely, but foolishly, rush to the web-slinger’s aid. Since he’s a scientist and a smart mouth rather than a fighter, Miguel struggled against Venture, who easily countered Spider-Man’s style with his fighting prowess, numbing his arm with his electronic rod and giving Miguel enough pause to consider whether he’d gotten in over his head and should surrender rather than go toe-to-toe with Alchemax’s number one cyborg.

Though not a natural superhero, Miguel overcomes Venture through luck and guts rather than skill.

However, when Venture murdered one of the Thorites in cold blood and relished in the deed, Spider-Man was compelled to act; though Venture noted Spider-Man’s guts and was staggered by a fierce blow from the web-slinger, Miguel’s plan wasn’t to get into a brawl with the cyborg, but to lead him away from the crowd and back over the trail that’d led him to his apartment to again shake suspicion off his civilian identity. The trick appeared to work as Venture was focused only on nailing his target, regardless of whose apartment he trashed along the way, and the two traded barbs during their chase through the city skyline, with Venture expressing boredom and frustration at Spider-Man’s escape attempts. Although Miguel was able to surprise Venture with a sneak attack, the cyborg’s arsenal proved to be the deciding factor in their conflict; once Spider-Man was close enough, Venture stunned him with his rod and ensnared him in “molecularly dense body wrap”. However, Venture called in his success to Tyler Stone a little too early and didn’t account for Miguel’s talons, which allowed him to break free and sabotage the cyborg’s jet boots, and they were both left stunned when Venture’s attempt to rip Miguel’s arm off activated his organic webbing, blinding the cyborg and sending them crashing to the street below. Angered, Venture prepared to blindly open fire, so Spider-Man (still stunned by his incredibly strength) used a passing maglev car to relieve Venture of his weapon, hit him with it, and overload the cyborg’s systems using his own electrical rod. Although he survived the battle by the skin of his teeth, Miguel is left pondering his strange new abilities, which have cured his addiction to the Rapture but massively impacted not only his life but also that of Dana and Gabe, and the three-issue origin arc ends with Tyler knocking on Miguel’s door and asking to talk about Spider-Man…

The Summary:
Marvel’s vision for the New York City of 2099 is one of a bustling cyberpunk metropolis that owes more than a little inspiration to the likes of Blade Runner (Scott, 1982); it’s a sprawling, technologically advanced society where the skies are filled with flying cars and hoverbikes, and the people of the future enjoy the benefits of advanced technology such as voice-activated conveniences, attentive artificial intelligence and holograms, and plasma-based weapons. Unsurprisingly, even language has evolved, with the expletive “Shock!” a common curse word, and there are many hints towards how the world has changed over the last one-hundred years; the age of heroes has seemingly past, with no active superheroes being mentioned, though the Thorites are certain that the God of Thunder will return to bring judgement to the masses and people are well aware of the likes of Spider-Man. Latveria is still a governing nation and Stark Enterprises is still operational, albeit in the form of Stark-Fujikawa following a corporate merger. One key difference, at least in these issues, is the public’s reaction to Spider-Man; they are largely impressed by him, especially when he fells the Public Eye or defends them against Venture, and he’s met with awe rather than hatred and fear. The Public Eye are obviously an exception, largely due to the influence of Alchemax and Tyler’s obsession with getting his hands on Spider-Man so he can dissect how he gained such incredible powers where others were met with a gruesome end.

Alchemax is not above killing, creating monsters, or employing sadistic cyborgs to achieve their goals.

Visually, the world of Spider-Man 2099 certainly pops; there’s nothing here we haven’t really seen in countless other futuristic stories and settings but everything’s very bright, detailed, and technologically slanted. It’s not a major plot point in this story, but Alchemax is presented as this highly influential and shady mega-corporation; both Dana and Gabe openly speak out about the heinous things the company is involved in and their desire to see Miguel wash his hands of his involvement with Alchemax. It’s a general rule that any corporation that’s involved in questionable genetic research is going to be malevolent but Alchemax definitely go all-in with it; Miguel’s research is apparently geared towards a military arm of the company, or to augment their troops with superhuman abilities, and Tyler is so keen to unlock the secret of genetic tampering that he’s happy to sacrifice lives to get his way. Alchemax goes one step further by producing Rapture, a deadly and addictive hallucinogen that many of its employees are already hooked on. Although it can be acquired on the black market, it’s heavily implied that Rapture is perfectly legal as Alchemax is fully licensed to distribute the drug and many in the city are under its sway, and Tyler maliciously gets Miguel hooked on the drug in order to keep him dependent on the company for a regular fix. This is, ultimately, an important but minor plot point; it’s what drives him to use his research to cure himself, sure, but once he gains his spider powers, Miguel is seemingly cured and the matter is dropped. Alchemax is also in the business of employing (and, presumably, creating) cyborg operatives to carry out more hands-on tasks. Venture is their top cyborg and boasts infrared vision, augmented strength, a wealth of futuristic weapons that constantly give him the edge against Spider-Man, and rocket boots that allow him to fly. Venture is also a sadist who’s perfectly happy to kill innocent civilians in pursuit of his target, and so confident in his abilities (especially when faced with Spider-Man’s sloppy fighting style) that he openly mocks Spider-Man at every turn and delights in putting a beating on him.

Miguel’s wit, unique powers, and striking costume make him a relatable and appealing, if reluctant, hero.

While there’s not much to the villains of the story (Alchemax is every evil corporation, Tyler and Delgato and Venture are all quite one-dimensional, being slimy corporate types, disgruntled authority figures, or cruel bounty hunters, respectively), Miguel absolutely steals the show, and rightfully so. While he has a likeness of Peter Parker, particularly in his hairstyle, he’s a very different character; for one thing, he’s actually a successful and presumably well-valued and well-paid scientist who works for the biggest corporation in the city. For another, he has a fancy apartment, a stable love life, and a brother who, while overprotective, is always on hand to look out for him. In many ways, Miguel takes some of Peter’s most recognisable aspects and dials them up to eleven: Peter had an aptitude for science so Miguel is a geneticist; Peter had a quick wit so Miguel is smarming off to anyone and everyone, leading to some genuinely amusing exchanges between him and other characters; Peter had the proportionate strength and speed of a spider so Miguel gets fangs, talons, and an overall more monstrous appearance. Indeed, while Spider-Man 2099 is very similar to his mainstream counterpart in terms of his abilities, he’s also very different thanks to Delgato cranking up the exposure to spider DNA. His talons allow him to climb walls but also afford him a brutal offensive weapon not exhibited by Peter (and lead to him amusingly slashing people’s clothes by accident), but Miguel is less attuned to his spider-sense; it constantly goes off through this arc, but he doesn’t understand what it is or equate to it warning him of danger. Miguel also boasts one of the best Spider-Man costumes; a stark black and red number that is both fearsome and striking, with shredded web appendages that allow him to briefly glide and control himself in mid-air. Ultimately, while Spider-Man 2099 lacks the finesse and polish of Peter Parker, he makes up for it in his down-to-earth personality, biting wit, and his guts; he’s clearly not a natural hero or fighter and is mostly reacting rather than acting, with his motivations being purely selfish in this origin story, and yet he still leaps into action when Venture attacks innocents, which I think speaks volumes to his appeal and the ongoing appeal of his comics.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of Spider-Man 2099? What did you think to Miguel, his smart mouth and his characterisation as a reluctant hero? Were you a fan of his costume and altered powers? What did you think to Venture and evil mega-corporation Alchemax? Did you enjoy Marvel’s futuristic vision of 2099? What other Marvel 2099 characters and stories did you enjoy from this period? Whatever your thoughts on Spider-Man 2099, feel free to share them below and be sure to check out my other Spider-Man content!

Game Corner [Sonic Month]: Sonic the Hedgehog (2006; Xbox 360)


Sonic the Hedgehog was first introduced to gamers worldwide on this day back in 1991 and, since then, has become not only SEGA’s most enduring and popular character but also a beloved videogame icon and, in keeping with tradition, I have been dedicating the entire month to celebrating SEGA’s supersonic mascot.


This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

GameCorner

Released: 14 November 2006
Developer: Sonic Team
Also Available For: PlayStation 3

The Background:
It always surprises me how often I see people online touting the myth that Sonic the Hedgehog (henceforth Sonic ’06) is some under-rated classic and worthy of your time and attention but this really isn’t the case. As a life-long Sonic fan, I first played it on the PlayStation 3 and, while I enjoyed the cutscenes and the soundtrack, I was unimpressed with the many glitches, load times, and dreadful gameplay experience and haven’t returned to it since finishing the main campaigns some seventeen years ago. Sonic ’06’s development is an interesting story; intended to celebrate the franchise’s fifteenth anniversary, Sonic co-creator Yuji Naka was eager to reinvent Sonic for the then-current generation of high-definition consoles and even had the game take the simple title of Sonic the Hedgehog to indicate its status as a series reboot (despite its numerous narrative ties to previous Sonic games). Tools like the Havok engine allowed the developers to use new lighting options, a day and night system, and craft a far more realistic setting for Sonic and his friends, who were redesigned to better fit in with this aesthetic. Two characters whose gameplay greatly benefitted from the Havok physics engine were Shadow the Hedgehog, who was able to drive and pilot a variety of vehicles, and newcomer Silver the Hedgehog, whose telekinetic powers gave him more options for interacting with the environments. It wasn’t long, however, before Sonic ’06 ran into problems; Naka left the project, and Sonic Team, to form his own company, developing the cutscenes proved problematic, and the development team was split in two to develop a concurrent Nintendo Wii-exclusive Sonic title. Despite impressing with some pre-release footage, Sonic ’06 was met with universal derision upon release; while the graphics and music were seen as somewhat impressive, the level design and camera were heavily criticised, as was the awkward romance between Sonic and Princess Elise, and the game is generally seen as the worst in the franchise. Although it received a fair amount of downloadable content (DLC) following its release, Sonic ’06 was one of many sub-par Sonic games de-listed from online marketplaces for the longest time, and SEGA scrambled to make good on their next mainline Sonic title, which was the shot in the arm the franchise desperately needed after this travesty of a game.

The Plot:
Doctor Eggman kidnaps Princess Elise of Soleanna to harness the destructive “Flames of Disaster” within her, and only Sonic the Hedgehog can save her from his clutches. However, his quest is obstructed by the mysterious Silver the Hedgehog, who has travelled back in time to stop a disaster he believes Sonic causes, while Shadow the Hedgehog works to uncover the truth behind the evil spirit Mephiles, who has stolen his form.

Gameplay:
Sonic ’06 is a third-person, action/adventure platformer that divides its gameplay between three different main playable characters, three main story episodes, and largely attempts to focus on speed or action but also muddies its concept with janky physics, puzzle solving, and exploring a large hub world. Clearly taking inspiration from Sonic Adventure (Sonic Team, 1998), the game’s characters will wander around the large, mostly barren castle town of Soleanna, chatting to eerily lifelike non-playable characters (NPC) for hints or side missions when not taking on one of the nine main action stages. Also like in Sonic Adventure, you can only play as Sonic to start with and will unlock Shadow and Silver’s stories as you progress and encounter them and you’ll occasionally get to play as other characters during action stages and in the hub world as the story dictates, though this time you do get a rudimentary (often useless) compass to guide you around Soleanna and its other areas.

Run, grind, and spin about as Sonic but good luck controlling him in the awful Mach Speed sections.

Across the game’s three main characters and nine total playable characters, the controls are largely the same but each one has different abilities and play styles. Pressing A lets you jump or interact with characters, X will perform a special action, and you can use the Right Trigger to activate certain character abilities as dictated by a power meter that builds up as you defeat enemies (or stays constantly full if playing as Sonic). Sonic is, naturally, geared more towards speed; pressing A in mid-air will allow him to dash forwards towards the nearest enemy, spring, or other interactable object with the Homing Attack. Tapping X performs this super janky sweep kick and slide that allows you to slip under certain walls and often leaves you sliding about on your ass like an idiot, but holding X lets you charge up and release a Spin Dash. It’s worth noting that you cannot defeat enemies just by pressing A; even though Sonic’s in a ball as normal, this won’t inflict any damage and will cause you to lose Golden Rings, the life source of your characters. Sonic’s stages are full of dash pads, springs, loops, and other gimmicks designed to get him moving as fast as the sluggish game engine and messed up camera will allow; often, you’ll be battered about like a pinball and it’s usually better to simply relinquish control of Sonic or make very small inputs to the control stick or else you could miss a jump pad or just randomly fall through the environment. Sometimes, you’ll be told to “Jump!” and have to press A to hop from wall to wall to progress; other times, you can take a short cut on a rail, and you’ll soon acquire upgrades that let you dash along a trail of Rings with X (if the game actually registers your inputs) and perform a bounce move to gain extra height on your jump, along with other far more broken mechanics I’ll talk about later. Speaking of broke, though… Sonic has a unique gameplay feature wherein some stages will require him to “Speed up!” in a “Mach Speed” section. Here, Sonic will blast ahead at the speed of sound (or the closest approximation this sluggish engine allows), barely giving you any time to react to incoming obstacles and enemies. You’ll need to jump way ahead of time to clear these hazards, and sometimes the controls and camera will force you to run towards the screen or at an angle, practically guaranteeing that you’ll take damage, fall through the environment, or just be sent spiralling to your death. As a precursor to the later “Boost” mechanic, these are some broken, glitchy, messed up sections that can burn through your lives faster than the shit-ass collision detection and are easily one of the worst parts of Sonic’s gameplay.

Shadow’s geared more towards awkward combat and janky vehicle gameplay.

After clearing Sonic’s episode, I played Shadow’s story, which is kind of akin to the hard mode of the game (outside of the DLC). Shadow plays a lot like Sonic; he’s fast, performs a Homing Attack and Spin Dash, hops on the same rails and boost pads and uses the same gimmicks as Sonic, such as flying on an eagle and riding water currents. Unlike Sonic, Shadow’s gameplay is geared more towards activating switches, destroying stuff, and combat; kind of like in the under-rated Shadow the Hedgehog (SEGA Studios USA, 2005), Shadow can perform the Chaos Spear in mid-air by pressing X (or holding X to charge it up), which will stun nearby enemies, and you can mash A after a Homing Attack to do a little combo. More often than not, this will either miss or see you attacking thin air; while this often still damages enemies, so broken is this game, it usually leaves you vulnerable. Shadow can also perform the Light Speed Dash and he also has a meter that builds up as he defeats enemies; once full, he can pull off a “Chaos Boost” with RT that smashes certain rocks and seems to increase his attack power (but not his durability), and this can be upgraded with Memory Shards you purchase from shops. Although Shadow doesn’t pick up and use guns and weapons like in his solo title, he can hop into a number of vehicles; you’ll take the controls of buggies, motorcycles, hovercrafts, and gliders either as an option or by choice in order to progress. You can press Y to hop in and out, A to accelerate, X to reverse, and use the vehicle’s weapons with RT, though you can’t be too trigger happy as weapons will need to cool down or reload over time. When in the hang glider, the game switches to a kind of auto scrolling shooter and has you blasting enemies and obstacles and dodging hazards to not get hurt; the hovercraft allows you safe passage over quicksand and instant death water, but they can both be tricky to control and it’s not always clear where you need to go, with Dusty Desert requiring you to pass through a series of stone columns to open a door. Other vehicles, like the buggy and motorcycle, are more optional and often ill advised; it’s better not to have to contend with the buggy’s janky collision detection and tumbling physics in Crisis City but the motorcycle can help you to catch up to Dr. Eggman’s speeding train…if you can control its breakneck speed, of course!

Silver’s far slower and has to endure frustrating platforming and puzzles.

Last of all, I played as newcomer Silver, who’s this naïve little telekinetic hedgehog from a wrecked future who’s come back in time to kill Sonic. He’s basically Future Trunks but far more gullible. Of the three main characters, Silver is the slowest; he trots along like he has rocks in his boots and can neither Spin Dash or roll into a ball when jumping, though he can still bounce on springs and be propelled along (and through the environment…) by dash pads. His gameplay is significantly different thanks to his telekinesis, which allows him to float by holding A, grab incoming projectiles or nearby crates and objects with RT, and hurl them back at enemies or towards destructible targets with X. These powers are tied to his meter, which refills automatically as long as you’re not jumping, and Silver can also create paths, construct bridges, or turn girders and such into springs to progress onwards by holding RT on special glowing circular spots. Silver’s gameplay is much slower and more deliberate and more focused on exploration, platforming, and puzzle solving; side quests see him navigating through rings in platforming challenges, for example, or moving or tossing objects with his mental powers, and action stages are reconfigured to allow him to charge certain platforms to spring himself upwards, carry him across gaps, balance weights with boxes, or guide large balls of magnesium through laser traps. One of his most frustrating gimmicks crops up in Dusty Desert; here, you must use Silver’s telekinetic push (which can be used with a tap or charge of X) to knock giant billiard balls into holes within ten moves. Later, you have to hit one such ball down a narrow, winding corridor trying to avoid holes and such, which can be very tricky, and Silver’s piss-poor jump and expendable meter can make platforming across temporary and sliding platforms a chore in later stages.

You can briefly also control a bunch of slippery supporting characters who can break the game.

As you play through each episode, you’ll get the chance to switch to one of the other three playable characters mid-way through certain action stages as their paths cross, and each character is supported by two allies who occasionally follow them across Soleanna and throughout the action stages. Sonic teams up with Miles “Tails” Prower and Knuckles the Echidna, Shadow is joined by Rouge the Bat and E-123Ω “Omega”, and Silver falls in with Amy Rose and is supported by Blaze the Cat. Each of these has their own unique playstyles, though some are shared. Knuckles and Rouge can both glide and climb walls (though good luck detaching from some walls and fighting against the camera, which tends to freak out while following you) and can attack with punches and kicks (though not with their glide…), Tails can toss Dummy Ring Boxes at enemies with X and “snipe” at them by holding the button, which Rouge can also do with her bombs (though she can also place these on walls). Tails can also fly for a short time and will get a boost by flying through mid-air rings like in Sonic Adventure, while Omega can float along and awkwardly boost up to platforms with his jetpack, target multiple enemies by holding X or perform a big power shot by pressing X in mid-air. Amy uses her signature Pike-Piko Hammer to smash enemies, but its range is so short and broken that it’s hard to avoid taking damage; she also has a pretty broken double jump but is largely a shadow of her former Sonic Adventure self. Blaze is also pretty broken; she has this homing tornado attack that sees her just dart about like she’s possessed and can also perform a flaming twirl; she’s okay as long as you keep the reigns tight with her but she (and all of these “amigos”) are very slippery and unwieldy. Generally, you switch to them to platform across a small area, take out enemies, and hit switches but you’ll also switch to controlling them in the hub world for side quests and take on easily the most frustrating stages in the game in the final chapter. When playing as Sonic, you’ll also have to carry Princess Elise to safety a few times; in these stages, she’s constantly in your arms but you can still perform a version of your Homing Attack and she’ll even shield you from quicksand and water when you hold RT, though this is dependent on your meter.

Graphics and Sound:  
One of the best things Sonic ’06 has going for it is it’s awesome soundtrack; Sonic games have always had great soundtracks but, ever since the pop/punk-rock direction of Sonic Adventure, the 3D games just went from strength to strength during this time. The main theme, “His World”, is a suitably catchy tune from  Ali Tabatabaee and Matty Lewis of Zebrahead, while long-time Sonic collaborators Crush 40 performed an awesome cover of “All Hail Shadow” as Shadow’s theme. Even Silver’s disco-infused jive, “Dreams of an Absolution”, is pretty great and there’s even a sappy lyrical cover of Dreams Come True’s “Sweet Sweet Sweet” by Akon included. While the hub worlds don’t exactly impress in the music department, the action stages and boss battles all fare pretty well, with the music (like much of the game’s presentation) again harkening back to Sonic Adventure. Where the game falters, however, is in the voice acting; once again, the Sonic X (2003 to 2005) cast return and, once again, I remain unimpressed by Jason Griffith’s stilted, unenthusiastic portrayal of the character. Every word out of his mouth is lacking in emotion or passion and just sounds like someone reading a script, and Amy Palant is at her most grating as Tails but, to be fair, the script is absolutely awful at times with such cringe-worthy lines as “It looks like the princess has been moved to another location”, words not matching the subtitles, and even a botched take included. Thankfully, Mike Pollock is still great as Dr. Eggman and even Dan Green does a decent, if over the top, job as the unnecessarily dark Mephiles.

Despite the high-quality cinematics and music, this game is a laggy, buggy, glitched mess.

Graphically, the game is an equally mixed back; the high-quality cinematics are fantastic and another of the game’s few highlights, showcasing Sonic and his friends and enemies in all their glory. The cutscenes that use the in-game engine, however, aren’t quite as impressive; characters plod about like puppets, the physics are as all over the place as during gameplay, and there’s a distinct lack of polish to these. The NPCs are even worse, flailing their arms about and yapping their mouths just to say “Thank you” and very few of them make an impression beyond the agonising load times. Any time you want to start a side quest, you need to talk to an NPC; accept their mission and you get a load screen, then the NPC says something like “Go for it!” and you get another load screen. Clear or fail the mission and you get another load screen, then another dialogue box, then the results screen…and then another load screen. Loading screens even interrupt the action stages as well, with new areas needing to be loaded in mid-way through and this can even screw up your run as you can be dropped into the action without warning, which can cause you to miss dash pads or get hit by enemies. While the gameplay is generally okay, the controls, overall, are as slippery and finnicky as the camera; the camera never seems to be where you want it, freaks out for no reason, and is a constant source of frustration but sometimes the game just won’t register your inputs, or randomly decides it doesn’t need any inputs…until it does…or you just run head-first into an obstacle or through the environment and to your death. There are times where characters glitch out, erratically flailing all over the place, times when you can walk on vertical surfaces or ceilings, and times when the ground suddenly loses its collision detection. Collision detection, on the whole, is broken to all hell in Sonic ’06; you’ll pass right through objects, enemies can fire at you through walls and doors, and the entire game’s performance suffers as bad as an 8-bit title sometimes when too much is happening on screen.

Stages are varied, but nothing new and basically rip-offs from Sonic Adventure.

Sonic ’06 is also a bit weird in terms of its environments; taking the real-world-meets-fantasy premise of Sonic Adventure and really running with it, the game takes place in a castle town that’s similar to Venice or Europe but, while Soleanna looks pretty, it’s very lifeless and there’s not much to see or do. Action stages are accessed using mirror gates, which is a step down from Sonic Adventure, and many are just poor recreations of gimmicks from that game; we’ve got a beach (complete with killer whale), a snowy mountain (complete with snowboarding section and giant snowball), a volcano level (which includes a frustrating light puzzle that you’ll be doing at least three times), and even the Egg Carrier shows up again (though you don’t get to visit it here). You’ll also cross a desert (complete with instant death, barely tangible quicksand), a swamp-like jungle filled with ruins and featuring springboard lilies and turtles to ride, and storm through Dr. Eggman’s underwater base, which is full of annoying bubbles of magnesium and glass doors but does have some interesting visuals in its aquarium motif. Two of the worst stages in the game are Kingdom Valley, a ruined castle-like environment full of water and collapsing columns, and Crisis City, an apocalyptic city full of fire traps and besieged by a raging tornado. For the most part, the visuals actually aren’t too bad; the level of detail in Crisis City’s destruction is a stark contrast to the bright, cheery joy of Wave Ocean, and there are a few unique gimmicks in each stage; sometimes you’ll be jumping over mace-filled sand waves, or springing from ropes, or racing across the surface of the water desperately hoping that the game will stay stable, but mostly you’re just charging to the finish, ranking be damned, and trying not to die.

Enemies and Bosses:
For the most part, Sonic ’06 does away with the traditional Badniks and replaces them with very Sonic X-esque mechs; these military-style robots drop from the sky and hobble about shooting missiles, bullets, and plasma shots at you and, upon destruction, will fill your meter and award you points for your score ranking. Some hover in the air shooting lasers, some are smaller and more akin to Badniks and can be destroyed by targeting their leader, and some are much bigger, shooting their arms at you and requiring that you knock them down to target their power core. As the story progresses (or sooner, depending on who you play as), you’ll also battle Iblis Monsters that are very similar to the Black Arms from Shadow the Hedgehog; there’s leaping and fire-breathing lizards, flaming bats that swoop down at you, big projectile-spitting worms that burst up from the ground at the worst moments, and large magma-like titans who hurl rocks at you. Sonic and Shadow can chain together successive Homing Attacks to get past all of these, each of which slows the action down with a life bar, but Silver and Tails and the like will have to resort to throwing stuff at them. For the most part, they’re just obstacles, as annoying and inconvenient as the spikes and spike walls and flame plumes, but they’re incredibly generic for Sonic enemies and get repetitive very quickly.

Dr. Eggman’s contraptions are sadly few and far between, and quite repetitive.

There are eleven bosses in Sonic ’06; three are fought by all three main characters in slightly different locations in the story, two are rival battles, four are exclusive fights, and one is, obviously the final boss. First, let’s talk about Dr. Eggman’s massive mechanical monstrosities, the Egg-Cerberus and the Egg-Genesis, though neither are much of a threat. The Egg-Cerberus races around the arena smashing down columns and towers, occasionally pouncing at you, and emitting a destructive shockwave that you need to jump over. Sonic and Shadow must avoid these attacks and then grind up the robot dog’s tail to Homing Attack the control antenna on its head, then you need to awkwardly direct the machine to run into a wall to damage itself. When you’ve dealt enough damage, it’ll jump to the background and let Egg Gunners shoot at you before trying to squash you, and the fight is made trickier with Shadow as he has that janky melee function. The Egg-Genesis is much easier by comparison; this floating battleship fires missiles, Egg Fliers, and Egg Gunners at you and can only be damaged by attacking the glowing core underneath it (as Sonic) or by sending missiles and objects flying at its arms and core as Silver, Omega also battles this boss in the DLC, though this is even easier thanks to his greater arsenal of weapons, however you do have to be careful to avoid its high-powered homing laser attack and its suicide run when it’s health is drained. The only time you’ll battle Dr. Eggman one-on-one is in Sonic’s story in a variation of the Egg Viper boss from Sonic Adventure; floating amongst the clouds outside the crumbling Egg Carrier, Dr. Eggman will attack you from the Egg-Wyvern, swooping by and firing projectiles at you, blasting a big homing shot, and destroying your platforms with its harpoons. When it swoops over the gantry, you need to quickly Homing Attack the antenna and try and cause it to fly into some debris; Dr. Eggman will then send out some pods you can attack to hit him directly but, again, he’ll try and obliterate you with a suicide run near the end so be on your toes.

Iblis comes in many monstrous, frustrating forms, though Mephiles is ridiculously easy.

Another recurring boss is the flaming demon who has ravaged the future, Iblis. Essentially the fire counterpart to Chaos, this mindless beast is encountered in three different forms, with Silver having to battle two that are exclusive to him. Sonic and Shadow will battle Iblis’s second form inside a volcano after clearing Flame Core; this is a slow and boring battle that can get very annoying as you basically have a few rock platforms to jump to and Iblis will routinely cause more to drop from the ceiling while also destroying some in its attempts to attack you, which almost always manages to hurt you. Hop over the platforms to one of the three orbs and wait for Iblis to prep for its jump, dodging any flaming projectiles it sends your way. When it’s about to jump, activate the orb with a Homing Attack and Iblis will get stuck, allowing you to attack its weak spot on its head, and then the whole thing repeats with Iblis’s attacks becoming more aggressive and it even trying to ram you for the final hit. Silver battles Iblis’s first and third form at the start and end of his story and on a 2.5D pane; in the first encounter, Iblis blasts flaming rocks at you and tries to crush you with entire buildings, but you can simply avoid these attacks and telekinetically toss its projectiles back at it to break away its rocky outer shell. The last battle is a bit trickier; Iblis is constantly moves towards you, again raining projectiles across a small stone platform that it will chip away at until it’s completely destroyed. Iblis also sends out flaming shockwaves that you either need to jump over or stand under and conjures a massive flaming comet to throw at you. However, don’t be intimidated by its size; simply catch it with your telekinesis and send it back to the creature along with any other projectiles you can; eventually, it’ll collapse near your platform and you can float over to use the psychokinesis pad to deal big damage. Shadow also gets two exclusive battles against Iblis’s other half, Mephiles; in the first fight, you need to continuously attack his mini shades until you can perform a Chaos Boost, which will draw him out from your shadow and allow you to land Homing and melee attacks. After enough damage is dealt, you’ll switch to Omega and finish him off with the robot’s massive cannons, but you won’t have any help in the second battle. This time, Mephiles is protected by a shield and conjures large, laser-firing shadow monsters that you must defeat to build up your meter. Activating Chaos Boost again draws Mephiles out so you can attack him, though he darts about to make himself a harder target, commands his shades to swarm you, and fires a massive energy ball at you before forcing you to chain together Homing Attacks to reach him for the final hit.

After struggling through the rival fights, all three hedgehogs power-up to defeat Solaris.

Like in Sonic Adventure, you’ll also have to take on rival battles against Sonic, Silver, and Shadow. The first of these is probably Sonic ’06’s most infamous legacy; when you face Silver in Soleanna, he’ll throw shit at you and, if you attack him directly or even face him, he’ll grab you with his telekinesis and send you flying with a cry of “It’s no use! Ta-ake this!” Literally nine times out of then, you’ll get locked in a vicious cycle where he does this over and over either until you’re dead or you have to restart as you keep collecting one Ring upon damage, but you can get around this. Basically, you need to grab some Rings and run around and far away like an idiot; you won’t be able to see Silver because the camera is awful but, eventually, you’ll here him cry “How about this!”, which is when he gathers up projectiles to throw at you; this is your chance to attack him but for God’s sake dash away immediately after or else he’ll grab you. This is slightly harder with Shadow as you can’t easily chain Homing Attacks, meaning you’ll end up attacking the air instead of escaping, and Silver tends to blast you upwards as well. When playing as Silver, these battles are much easier but can still be annoying; both Sonic and Shadow can attack from afar with their Homing Attacks and you’ll have to run around like a moron waiting for projectiles to pop back in for you to throw at them. If you’re able to keep from rage quitting when playing through the ridiculously hard final stage, with its instant-death time rips and wonky physics, you’ll take on Solaris in the final battle. Here, Super Sonic, Super Shadow, and Super Silver have to take it in turns to attack the raging Sun God; you can switch between them with Y (the other two will “collect Rings” in the mean time so you shouldn’t ever run out of power) and attack with X (Super Sonic charges ahead, Super Shadow launches and charges Chaos Spear, and Super Silver captures projectiles with LT and tosses them at Solaris). It’s not massively clear (ironically, unlike other Sonic games, the supporting cast doesn’t give you clear direction) but, to start with, you need to destroy Solaris’s arm with Super Silver, then the other arm with Super Shadow, and finish it off with Super Sonic all while it throws projectiles and screen-filling lasers at you. In its second phase, Solaris is much more aggressive but it’s pretty simple to stay out of range of its lasers and switch to whichever hedgehog it’s not shielding against to defeat (and probably for an S-Rank as well).

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
As in pretty much every Sonic game, Golden Rings are your life source; as long as you have at least one, you’ll survive most attacks and, with a hundred, you’ll earn an extra life. As ever, you’ll also find Item Boxes strewn around the action stages that’ll grant you a speed-up (practically a death sentence with this game’s wonky physics!), the rare invincibility, an extra life (which annoyingly won’t respawn if you die after a checkpoint), a bunch of rings (either five, ten, or twenty), or fill your meter so you can perform Chaos Boost or telekinesis. You’ll also spot rainbow rings around the place, which will give you a score boost and act as shortcuts, and there are a decent number of checkpoints (though sporadically; some stages need more, some don’t need any). When you finish a mission or action stage, you’ll receive a ranking based on your score, time, and performance; the higher your ranking, the more Rings you earn and can then spend at shops around Soleanna. This allows you to buy upgrades for Sonic, Shadow, and Silver, such as the Light Speed Dash, bounce, and Chaos Boost, but you’ll also be able to perform more powerful attacks as Shadow and Silver to stun nearby enemies. Sonic’s upgrades take the form of gems and change the colour of his shoes; you can switch between these with the directional pad and activate them with RT for some truly bizarre and game-breaking effects. Sonic can toss an emerald and teleport to it, stop in mid-air to charge his Homing Attack, blast ahead with Mach Speed at any time, shrink, create a magnetic shield to attract Rings, and whip up a tornado to deal damage though, honestly, I never used any of these and found most of them were either useless or didn’t work as intended.

Additional Features:
There are twenty-three Achievements up for grabs in Sonic ’06 and they’re all pretty rubbish. You get an Achievement for clearing each episode, and then finishing the last story, and another three Achievements for fully upgrading each of the three playable characters. You’ll also get Achievements for finishing the story on Hard mode, completing every side mission (easily accessible from the main menu, thankfully), and for finding and earning every Silver and Gold Medal in the game, meaning you need to complete every mission and stage with an S-Rank. Silver Medals are scattered throughout the stages and Gold Medals are awarded for clearing stages and, as I said, getting S-Ranks so good luck in obtaining all of them with this dodgy game! Sonic ’06 was also bolstered by some DLC, which includes an even harder difficulty setting, a boss rush, and the “Team Attack Amigo” pack. This is somewhat similar to the last stage of the game and has you playing through short sections of the main story as the supporting characters (Tails, Rouge, etc), culminating in a boss fight against the Egg-Genesis as Omega.  You’ll also unlock a sound test and movie theatre and can play a rudimentary multiplayer mode similar to the one seen in Sonic Adventure 2 (Sonic Team USA, 2001) in which two players either work together to find Chaos Emeralds or race against each other, but I can’t imagine anyone wanting to play this mess of a game with you.

The Summary:
This is the first time I’ve played Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) since I first finished it on the PlayStation 3 and there’s a damn good reason for that. Yes, surprise surprise, I do not hold Sonic ’06 in high esteem; for me, this is one of the absolute worst Sonic games ever made, and one of the worst videogames ever made, and nothing and no one will ever convince me otherwise. The potential is there, and that actually makes things worse; the high-quality cutscenes, the soundtrack, even some of the new characters and concepts are all very appealing. The call-backs to Sonic Adventure are fun…on paper, but the whole game feels like a downgrade and a poor imitation of that far superior and varied classic 3D Sonic title. But what really kills the game is the gameplay; Sonic ’06 is just all over the place, juggling too much and stretching itself too thin, and the game engine cannot handle it. Slowdown, glitches, and diabolical hit detection combined with ridiculous load times and an absolutely atrocious camera are enough to drag this game down but when you factor in the almost unplayable Mach Speed sections, the janky vehicle combat, and Silver’s slow, frustrating gameplay then you hardly have a winning formula. I give the game props for having other characters be playable, even in supporting roles, but they’re poorly implemented and it’s a missed opportunity to not allow the “Amigos” to be playable in every stage and mission. A lack of boss variety, unclear objectives, and some game-breaking shit like the Silver boss and Sonic’s upgrades only exacerbate the game’s issues; the side missions basically amount to defeating enemies or passing through rings and there’s just not much on offer to keep you coming back. Sonic ’06 is more than a slog; it’s like stumbling through quicksand and it throws some ludicrous roadblocks in your way, from racing to stop or destroy a train to desperately trying to dodge instant-kill hazards. To me, there’s little saving grace to this game; it certainly wasn’t the big reboot or return to form the franchise needed and was, instead, a slap in the face to gamers everywhere and a massively rush, missed opportunity for SEGA’s high-speed mascot.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Can you think of anything good about Sonic ’06 that isn’t the soundtrack or cutscenes? What did you think to Silver and the three different gameplay styles on offer? Which was your favourite and did you enjoy playing as the likes of Tails and such? What did you think to the story, Mephiles, and the never-ending quest to rescue Princess Elise? Did you ever find all the Medals? What’s your favourite Sonic game, good or bad? How are you celebrating Sonic’s anniversary today? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic ’06, share them down below or start the discussion on my social media.

Back Issues: Flashpoint

This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Story Title: “Flashpoint” (comprised of “Chapter One” to “Chapter Five”)
Published: July 2011 to October 2011
Writer: Geoff Johns
Artist: Andy Kubert

The Background:
Robert Kanigher and artist Carmine Infantino introduced readers to Barry Allen/The Flash in Showcase #4 (1956) and heralded the “Silver Age” of comics; this new incarnation of the Scarlet Speedster may have taken the place of his predecessor, Jay Garrick, but it wasn’t too long before the two were coming face-to-face thanks to the concept of the multiverse. Barry fast became one of the most popular and iconic characters to carry the Flash mantle, and his death in Crisis on Infinite Earths (Wolfman, et al, 1985 to 1986) was long-regarded as one of the few permanent fixtures in comics. However, in the ridiculously confusing Final Crisis event (Morrison, et al, 2008 to 2009), DC finally brought Barry back and reinstated him as the Flash, a decision that irked (and continues to irk) many fans of his replacement, Wally West. Though Barry was returned to a world that had largely passed him by, a series of retcons enabled him to slip back into his old role; however, despite having already torn apart and rebuilt the multiverse just five years prior in Infinite Crisis (Johns, et al, 2005 to 2006), writer Geoff Johns decided to shake up the DC Universe with this five-issue event, which was bolstered by a number of tie-in stories. Flashpoint saw massive changes to DC’s timeline, characters, and continuity; it directly led to one of my least-favourite eras of the comics, The New 52, and both compressed, altered, and confused many of DC’s storylines. The story proved quite influential, however; not only was it partially referenced in The Flash (2014 to present), it was also adapted into a well-received direct-to-DVD animated feature, and served as significant inspiration for the Flash’s big-screen solo film.

The Review:
Flashpoint begins and is punctuated by narration from Professor Zoom, Eobard Thawne/The Reverse-Flash, Barry Allen’s long-time nemesis who has a warped hero worship of the Flash that compels him to cause the Fastest Man Alive nothing but pain and misery in a twisted attempt to make him a better hero. A series of little flashbacks establish Barry’s close relationship with his mother early on; he adored Nora as a child and the mystery of her strange and brutal death haunted him even into his adult life, where he became a forensic scientist. Once he was struck by that errant lightning bolt and gained his superspeed, the Flash found a happiness that was missing from his life: friends and colleagues in the Justice League, love with his own wife, Iris West, and a family of fellow speedsters. However, all of that randomly changes for Barry when he’s roused from sleep at the Central City Police Department to find that Central City is under the protection of a questionable hero, Leonard Snart/Citizen Cold, the Flash’s rogues gallery doesn’t exist and, to Barry’s horror, he no longer has his superspeed or identity as the Flash.

Barry finds the world has changed for the worst and that Bruce has been replaced by his violent father!

If that wasn’t bad enough, Iris is in a loving relationship with another man; however, on the plus side, Nora Allen is still alive but, while Barry is overjoyed at being reunited with his beloved mother, his analytical mind immediately sets to work trying to figure out what’s happened to the world; he still remembers heroes like Clark Kent/Superman and the Justice League, but neither of these aspects appear to exist anymore…with one exception: Batman. The story jumps over to Gotham City, now a bustling metropolis with neon billboards promoting “Wayne Resorts and Casinos” and haunted by a far darker and more violent version of the Caped Crusader. While this Batman is far more callous than his mainline counterpart, and perfectly happy with tossing costumed baddies to their deaths, he’s just as driven to hunting down the Joker, and especially motivated as the Harlequin of Hate has kidnapped Mayor Harvey Dent’s twins. His investigation is interrupted by Victor Stone/Cyborg who, rather than judging Batman’s violent methods, invites him to align with a motley crew of alternative heroes and villains in order to oppose Arthur Curry/Aquaman and Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, whose warring nations threaten to destroy the world in their conflict. Batman, however, is uninterested in joining their cause since none of them stand a chance at fighting the Atlanteans and the Amazons, and his disinterest causes many of Cyborg’s followers to cut out as well, leaving the man-machine despondent. Confused and desperate for answers, Barry is forced to endure the frustration of traffic jams in order to travel to Gotham City to ask Bruce Wayne for help. However, when he arrives at Wayne Manor, he finds Alfred Pennyworth missing, the stately home in disarray, and is shocked to discover that this Batman isn’t Bruce…but his father, Doctor Thomas Wayne!

Barry goes to extreme lengths to regain his powers before he loses his memories of the original timeline.

In this world, it was young Bruce who died that night in Crime Alley, turning Thomas into a brutal and sadistic bat-themed vigilante. Believing Barry to be delusional, and angered at his knowledge of Bruce, Thomas breaks Barry’s finger and puts a beating on him, unimpressed with his claims to be the Fastest Man Alive. The conflict with Thomas not only assaults Barry’s body, but also his mind as his memories start to change to align with this new world, one caught in the middle of a war between Atlantis and Themyscira that has devastated large parts of the world. One year previously, the hostile Aquaman and his half-brother Orm Marius/Ocean Master flooded much of Western Europe and, before that, Wonder Woman and her Amazons attacked and conquered London, re-christening it New Themyscira. Barry finds his Flash ring in the Batcave but is shocked to find Thawne’s Reverse-Flash uniform in there instead of his Flash costume and theorises that the maniacal time-traveller must be behind the changes to the timeline. Although initially sceptical of Barry’s story, Thomas is intrigued by Barry’s tragic and twisted history with Thawne, who purposely travelled back in time to cause him anguish by killing his mother and hounding his superhero career, and spurred to help him since restoring the timeline will mean that Bruce never gets murdered. However, the only way they can hope to achieve this is to restore Barry’s superspeed before he forgets everything about the previous timeline, but his initial attempt to recreate the accident that doused him with chemicals and saw him struck by lightning leaves him a charred and scarred mess. Although left in agonising pain from third degree burns over seventy-five percent of his body, Barry is adamant about trying again, with an even bigger bolt of lightning, before his new memories completely override everything he used to be and know. Thomas, of course, thinks he’s a madman for risking his life in such a desperate attempt, but the second bolt of lightning does the trick and Barry’s superspeed and connection to the Speed Force is restored, which has the added effect of speeding up his recovery time. Barry whips himself up a fresh new Flash costume and sets to work trying to figure out what else has changed in this new timeline and who else is available to help; he explains the dangers and mechanics of time travel to a cynical Thomas, that Thawne is afforded additional abilities thanks to his “Negative” Speed Force and has no compunction about screwing up the timeline, which can have serious consequences even if only small changes are made.

Since Superman’s no help, Batman joins the Resistance, but they’re hopelessly outmatched against their foes.

Believing that Thawne purposely orchestrated this new timeline to take the world’s greatest superheroes out of action, Barry discovers that the Kryptonian rocket carrying the infant Superman crashed into Metropolis and killed thirty-five thousand people, and Thomas agrees to be Cyborg’s strategist in exchange for access to classified government information on the rocket that only Victor can supply. Thomas has absolutely no problem with deceiving Cyborg since, if they’re successful, time will be forever changed and none of their strife will have happened or mattered, which is perfectly fine with this jaded, semi-suicidal version of Batman. Cyborg leads the two to a secret underground facility beneath Metropolis, the home of “Project: Superman”, which they sneak into and discover the skeletal remains of a Kryptonian canine and an emaciated, terrified Kal-El who has been routinely tortured, experimented on, and kept out of the sun’s rays his entire life. Batman is less than impressed with Barry’s so-called “saviour”, who has little to no control over his powers and deserts them the moment that General Sam Lane’s soldiers close in. Thankfully, they’re saved by Emily Sung/Element Woman, who chemically incapacitates the soldiers, but Barry continues to be plagued by the physical pain and seizures his new memories cause him; these show a life where his mother was constantly by his side encouraging him, even after his father’s tragic heart attack, and a version of Barry who continuously struggled to find a woman to settle down with. After Colonel Steve Trevor fails to liberate reporter Lois Lane from New Themyscira, the United States President is left with no choice but to employ the full might of the U. S. military, which results in Hal Jordan (who never received the Green Lantern ring in this world and resents the world’s superheroes for not getting involved in the greater conflict) being shot down and killed by the Amazon’s invisible jets. With the entire world on the brink of all-out war, and the United Kingdom threatened by a devastating tidal wave, Barry berates Thomas for writing his world off; arguing that, at any moment, Barry could completely forget Bruce and the former timeline, Barry encourages Cyborg to make contact with the superhero community to defend the world and, although their ace in the hole, “Superman”, has literally flown the coop, they’re joined by Billy Batson and his adopted family, who are collectively known as Captain Thunder in this world. Such is the allure of Batman’s urban legend that all it takes is his involvement and leadership to unite the world’s superheroes in interceding in the battle between Aquaman and Wonder Woman, however they’re betrayed by June Moon/The Enchantress, who forcibly transforms Captain Thunder back into his mortal form so that Diana can run him through with her sword.

Reverse-Flash’s boasting is cut short and Barry is seemingly able to set the timeline right…

It’s here, in the midst of a brutal war with the fate of this alternative world in the balance, that the Reverse-Flash finally makes his physically appearance. Naturally, a vicious fist fight breaks out between the two, but Barry is devastated to learn that it was he who caused this dark new timeline and not Thawne. Thawne “[resets Barry’s] internal vibrations” to reveal that Barry was so distraught after learning that Thawne killed his mother that he pushed himself further than he’d ever gone before, travelled back in time, and called upon the entire power of the Speed Force to prevent that event from ever happening. The result was a fracturing of the timeline in wild and unpredictable ways, and also that Thawne has been “removed from the timeline” so that, no matter what happens in the past, present, or future, he will continue to exist to plague his foe. This means that Thawne no longer has to rely on Barry being alive to ensure his creation in the far future, and nothing Barry does will prevent Thawne from existing. However, just as it seems like Thawne has achieved his ultimate victory, Batman stabs Thawne through the back and kills him, admonishing him for turning his back on the battlefield. Even though Superman makes a dramatic reappearance to join the fight, the war escalates uncontrollably; Atlantis plans to sink the United Kingdom and Enchantress mortally wounds Batman, who begs Barry to set things right. Reluctant to leave the world to its fate, Barry first stops by to talk to his mother, who encourages him to do the right thing since he’s literally sacrificed billions of lives and made the world a complete hellhole just to save her life. Heartbroken, but galvanised by her blessing, Barry intercepts his past self and knocks him from the Cosmic Treadmill but, when he returns to the time stream, Barry finds that there are three separate, competing timelines and a mysterious, hooded woman warns that time has been splintered and that only Barry can help merge them back into one unified timeline. When Barry awakens at his desk, the world appears to be back to normal; the first thing he does is race to the Batcave to talk with Bruce, who is once again Batman and who, surprisingly, reassurances Barry that he’s only human and couldn’t have known that saving his mother would have screwed the world up so badly. In an interesting twist, Barry retains his memories of the “Flashpoint” universe, and leaves Bruce in tears when he delivers him a letter rom his father. However, Barry fails to notice a few changes that have occurred as a result of his time meddling; not only is his Flash suit different, but so is the Batsuit, and all of the world’s heroes have been altered into their God-awful “New 52” forms, but the extent of Barry’s actions wouldn’t be revealed for some time and, for all intents and purposes, this is now the “real world”.

The Summary:
If there’s one reason to read Flashpoint, it’s the gorgeous artwork by Andy Kubert; stylistically similar to Jim Lee and John Romita Jr., Kubert really emphasises the kinetic energy of his characters, which is perfect for the Flash, while still balancing the many secondary characters in a way that’s bold and striking and crafting a far darker and more fearsome rendition of Batman. Each issue is accompanied by supplementary materials about this changed world, such as a world map that shows who controls which territory and where these new groups of alternative characters operate, and line art showing Kubert’s process. Sadly, though, just reading the main five issues doesn’t give you the entire story of Flashpoint; like pretty much every big Crisis and crossover event these days, Flashpoint was accompanied by four one-shots, two preludes, and no less than seven additional tie-in titles that further explored this alternative world and these far darker, less hopeful characters. I haven’t actually read any of these as I never felt compelled to explore it further as I subscribed to Thomas Wayne’s philosophy that it really doesn’t matter what happened to him, Aquaman, Hal Jordan, or any of the other characters changed by Barry’s actions as the timeline is reset at the end of the story. That and I really can’t afford to by the omnibus edition that collects all these issues, I don’t want any of the tie-ins taking up space on my shelves, and I really don’t care for the story enough to want to read any more about it.

Barry really comes across as a hypocritical, selfish asshole in this story.

This really isn’t a great story, or look, for Barry Allen. For someone like me, who grew up reading Wally West’s adventures as the Flash, it was already quite the insult to have him so readily supplanted by his predecessor, but to write a story where Barry’s so selfish that he screws up the entire timeline and, not only that, hesitates to set things right because he can’t stand to lose his mother? Yeah, that’s not a great look. And I get it; he’s grieving and in pain and not thinking rationally, but it’s especially odd that Bruce reassures him that he (as in Bruce) probably would’ve done the same thing…despite the fact that he turned down the chance to see the world and timeline reorganised in his favour in Infinite Crisis. The message seems to be that we have to sympathise with Barry but, while he’s obviously suffered a terrible loss at the hands of one of his worst enemies, it kind of seems like Geoff Johns wrote this twist simply because it’d be too predictable to have Thawne be behind the changes to the timeline. On the plus side, Barry certainly suffers for his selfishness; he’s nearly killed by the lightning bolts he attracts to himself and endures an unimaginable amount of agony from their impact, which is the least he deserves to go through. It’s interesting, though, as Barry feels morally obligated (or, perhaps, guilty enough) to help save this world and even has the gall to lecture Thomas Wayne about condemning the world to die. He even hesitates to undo his actions and is desperate to find a way to save his mother and the world at the same time, but finally being convinced to do, y’know, the right thing and prioritise the greater good and he doesn’t even do that right as it births the New 52 world.

Thomas Wayne’s violent, jaded Batman steals the show and delivers a heart-warming end to the story.

Flashpoint’s nightmare timeline is very different from the mainline DC Universe; it’s full of conflict, loss, and despair. A world constantly on the brink of war, under threat by two warring superpowered nations, and suffering without the world’s greatest superhero. This is a world where the public has lost faith in costumed heroes since they’re reluctant to stand against the forces of Atlantis and Themyscira and many of them have either been killed, maimed, or forced to make unlikely alliances and rely on subterfuge to survive and try to take a stand. However, the allure of Batman’s reputation remains as strong as ever; while Cyborg doesn’t approve of Batman’s violent methods, he knows that the Resistance will only really commit to fighting if Batman is onboard and goes out of his way to try and recruit the Dark Knight in order to spark some small sliver of hope. Thomas Wayne, naturally, steals the show here; his darker costume and demeanour show an alternative version of Batman who’s much older and far more cynical than Bruce Wayne. It’s consistently hinted that Thomas Wayne is in such a dark place that he’s not only completely given up on the world, but he also doesn’t really care whether he lives or dies. For him, nothing really matters anymore as not only was his entire world ripped away from him when he watched his son die before his eyes, but everything could be wiped out at a moment’s notice. He is compelled to help Barry, despite his cynicism, not to save his world, but to undo it entirely, fulfilling both of these goals, and really makes an impression with his surly demeanour, willingness to kill, and glowing red eyes. Sadly, despite appearing to die here and this timeline being erased, Thomas Wayne’s Batman would return later down the line and actually oppose his son as yet another dark analogue to the Caped Crusader, but I have to admit that he was one of the few highlights of this Crisis.

As if besmirching Barry’s character wasn’t enough, Flashpoint resulted in the dreadful New 52 era!

Overall, I really don’t care for this story specifically because it spelt the end for the DC Universe as I knew it and the beginning of my least favourite time in DC Comics, the New 52 run. I just didn’t understand the need to even do this and reset things in such an extreme way when Infinite Crisis had already done that not too long before this was published. As a self-contained, throwaway Flash tale that taught Barry a serious lesson about dealing with his grief, it could’ve worked; hell, even as a longer story the stretched over a few of the Flash titles and shook up the status quo for the Flash might have been more enjoyable, but it falls pretty flat as a reality-warping Crisis event because it’s a mere five issues and is lacking the expansive scope of these events. For me, it just doesn’t work since it paints Barry in such a poor light, and it feels completely pointless to dip into any of the tie-in stories since this was obviously never going to last as a timeline. I absolutely feel this could have worked much better if the Reverse-Flash had been the mastermind behind it and had cropped up a bit more in these five issues; this could’ve been a great showcase to show how depraved and twisted he is and could have presented a nightmare timeline where he’s the hero and the Flash is a villain, but he shows up far too late in the story to really make much of an impression and, despite boasting that he’s effectively immortal, is dispatched pretty easily by Batman and his trusty sword. In hindsight, now that the New 52 has finally been undone, Flashpoint isn’t as bad as it was when I first read it and was struggling to cope with all the rubbish decisions made in that era, but it’s still easily skipped over, I think. Just the idea that Barry, who lectures Thomas on how dangerous haphazard time travel can be, would make such a poor, selfish decision without thought to the consequences really doesn’t warm me to his character and, in many ways, makes him as reprehensible as Hal Jordan was back when he was Parallax. These are the actions of a misguided villain, not a sympathetic hero, and all the heart-warming letters from dead fathers and grief over lost mothers in the world can’t save this utter dreck of a story.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Flashpoint? If so, what did you like about it? If you read the tie-in stories, which ones were your favourite and what did you think to this alternative timeline? Were you a fan of DC’s decision to reset their continuity again? What did you think to Barry’s decision to save his mother? Did you sympathise with him or did it paint him in a bad light? Were you a fan of Thomas Wayne’s Batman? Which Flash or speedster is your favourite? What’s your favourite Flash story? Which of DC’s infinite parallel worlds is your favourite? Feel free to sign up and share your thoughts on Flashpoint below or drop a comment on my social media.

Mini Game Corner: Indy – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Action Game (Master System)

This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Released: February 1992
Developer: Tiertex Design Studios
Also Available For: Amiga, Amstrad CPC, Atari ST, C64, DOS, Game Boy, Game Gear, MSX, Mega Drive, Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), ZX Spectrum

A Brief Background:
1981 saw legendary director Steven Spielberg join forces with George Lucas and Harrison Ford to bring the first Indiana Jones film to cinema screens; inspired by the serial films of yesteryear and the James Bond franchise, the three crafted an action/adventure film that was so critically and commercially lauded that it marked the beginning of one of cinema’s most beloved franchises, propelled Harrison Ford to superstardom, and fundamentally changed the cinema rating system. Since the franchise was so successful, Indiana Jones has been adapted into books, comics, and videogames, with the first being an 8-bit adventure for the Atari. It was the third film, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Spielberg, 1989), that received the most love back in the day, however, as three titles were released across numerous platforms between 1989 and 1991. This particular game was the technically inferior version of its 16-bt counterpart that scored rather well at the time thanks to its colourful graphics and gameplay, but was also criticised for its difficulty and collision detection.

First Impressions:
Indy – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Action Game (yep, somehow the developers found a way to make the title even longer!) is a 2D, sidescrolling action/adventure game that puts you in control of the famous archaeologist and adventurer. Since the Master System only uses two buttons, you wouldn’t believe how simple the controls are in this version: Button 1 allows you to punch, crack your whip, and swing while Button 2 allows you to jump. These buttons can’t be switched around, but Indy can duck down to avoid incoming bullets and punches and attacks from below, and climb up and down ropes simply by jumping to them. It doesn’t appear that Indy can use a gun of his own this time around, and his whip is limited significantly here; you need to pick up a whip icon to even use it, and you only get a few swings before you lose it until you get the next power-up. As in the bigger 16-bit title, Indy must journey through six levels (referred to as “Scenes”) that recreate environments and situations from the movie, but there are no difficulty settings here; instead, you start with six lives and three credits and face a super tight time limit to clear each Scene, gaining additional time by picking up hourglasses and aiming to accrue a high score and some precious extra lives. As in the Mega Drive game, Indy has a daunting uphill battle ahead of him as he’s practically made of glass; not only does he take fall damage, but hitting the ceiling will drain his health, and he’ll crumble to his knees in seconds from dodgy hit detection and instant death hazards such as water.

Don’t let the impressive visuals fool you, this game is tough as balls!

While the game recreates the train scene from the film and eventually sees you scaling a castle and airship as in the film, you’re unlikely to see this as it’s more than a chore to progress any further the first few screens of the first Scene. While the game delivers a fair attempt at recreating the iconic Indiana Jones theme for the title screen, levels are completely silent save for the sounds of attacks and your continuous death, though the graphics are surprisingly impressive. Sprites aren’t exactly the most expressive but they’re colourful and quite detailed; Indy grabs his hat when he jumps, wooden platforms crumble beneath his feet, and the environments contain a decent amount of detail for a Master System title. The first Scene is primarily based around traversing the caves using ropes; you’ll need to hop to them (avoiding hitting your head, of course) and shimmy down, avoiding gun fire, and then precariously jump across lethal water to progress. As in the Mega Drive version, there are a number of hidden checkpoints in the Scenes, and you’ll even restart from these after continuing after losing all of your lives, but the constant injury you’ll take form everything around you and the ludicrously tight timer make just playing the game one of the most difficult experiences I’ve ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

My Progression:
While I couldn’t get past the first Scene in the Mega Drive game, I was at least able to give it a decent shot; here, though, there was absolutely no hope. Indy’s six lives will disappear in a blink of an eye and, before you know it, you’ll be staring at the game over screen again and again having made little progression. There aren’t even any cheat codes to help you jump ahead to other Scenes, either, so I have absolutely no idea how anyone is ever supposed to see anything other than the first Scene as the game absolutely bricks you right out the gate. Looking ahead at the game (which can apparently be beaten in about ten minutes…), it seems like you’ll face a lot of the same challenges as in the 16-bit title, including avoiding Native Americans on a circus train, fireballs and skeleton pits, even trickier jumping and swinging up the caste’s stone walls, and be faced with avoiding buzz saws and bottomless pits in a pseudo-isometric rendition of the Temple of the Sun. Although you’ll collect artefacts from the movie, there are absolutely no bosses to contend with this time around, making for an extremely frustrating and lacklustre experience, I would imagine.

After the struggle I went through with the Mega Drive version of this game, I didn’t exactly expect much from Indy – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: The Action Game; I guess part of me was hoping that it would be easier, since it would obviously be a scaled down version of its 16-bit counterpart, and it certainly offers a lot less than that version of the game but ramps up the difficulty to a ridiculous degree. The longplay I watched to get a sense of the rest of the game made it look so easy but this really was a kick in the balls to play, and I imagine would have really disappointed kids who rented (or, heaven forbid, bought) it back in the day. Indy is so fragile that the game may as well have one-hit kills, the sound is basically non-existent, and all the impressive visuals in the world can’t make up for the fact that this game is basically unplayable and not enjoyable in the slightest. I’m curious, though: what did you think to this version of the game? Did you prefer it to the Mega Drive version? What’s your favourite Indiana Jones videogame? Whatever your thoughts or experiences on these games, share them below or leave a comment on my social media.

Game Corner [Superman Month]: Superman Returns (Xbox 360)


In 2013, DC Comics declared the 12th of June as “Superman Day”, a day for fans of the Man of Steel the world over to celebrate Clark Kent/Kal-El/Superman, the superpowered virtue of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” who is widely regarded as the first ever costumed superhero. This year, I’m spending every Monday of June celebrating the Man of Steel as I expand Superman Day to “Superman Month“.


This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Released: 22 November 2006
Developer: EA Tiburon
Also Available For: Nintendo DS, PlayStation 2, Xbox

The Background:
As I mentioned in my review of the film, Superman Returns (Singer, 2006) was supposed to be a pretty big deal for DC Comics, Warner Bros. and Superman in general. Absent from cinema screens since 1987, Superman had seen a fair amount of representation in videogames in the intervening years and ever since 1979, but the Man of Steel has had a difficult history with pixels and polygons and it’s not as if videogame tie-in to movies have an esteemed reputation. Add to that the fact that Superman Returns didn’t exactly impress critically and the videogame tie-in was off to a troublesome start before it even released. Developed by a subsidiary of Electronic Arts, EA Tiburon (who had developed a handful of sports-based games for the publisher) and incorporating a large open world version of Metropolis that required players to minimise collateral damage, Superman Returns received mostly negative reviews and Superman has continued to struggle with transitioning into a successful videogame adaptation.

The Plot:
Acting as part-prequel- part-midquel, and part-retelling of the events of the film, Superman leaves Earth to investigate the remains of his home planet, Krypton. There, he incurs the wrath of the tyrant Mongul and, upon returning to Earth after five years, finds his arch enemy, Lex Luthor, enacting a diabolical plot for revenge involving Kryptonian technology while also battling some of his most notorious villains.

Gameplay:
Superman Returns is an open-world action game that places players in the cape and tights of the Man of Steel, as portrayed by Brandon Routh in the movie of the same name. The main objective of the game is to defend the impressively-realised and expansive city of Metropolis from a variety of threats using Superman’s awesome powers, all of which are available to the player from the moment the game begins. By pressing Y, players can take to the skies and can even rocket away by holding the button down. While it is a bit disorientating once you’re in the air, it doesn’t take long to adjust to it and it can be quite a thrill to blast through the air and between skyscrapers at Superman’s full speed. By holding down the Left Bumper, you can speed through the sky, going faster and faster until everything around you becomes a blur and Superman breaks the sound barrier, however it can be very difficult to make tight turns and avoid flying head-first into buildings when going at full speed. You can land with Y and, when on the ground, sprint at superspeed by holding LB, which is equally unwieldy at times.

Rocket through the sky at breakneck speeds or blast enemies with Superman’s array of powers.

You can target enemies with the Left Trigger and attack enemies with, primarily, X; repeatedly pressing X and adding in presses of Y and A will see Superman pull off more elaborate combos to deal more damage, although there is a significant input delay when trying to perform combos (in a change from most games, it seems that you have to press each button deliberately rather than as quickly as possible). Superman also has the full scope of his superpowers available to use as well; these are assigned to the directional pad and activated with the Right Trigger and allow you to blast at enemies with heat vision, freeze them with Superman’s freeze breath, or put out fires with his superbreath. All of these can also be augmented by double-tapping the direction and can even be worked into your combos but be sure to keep an eye on the power meter, which will deplete as you use your superpowers and take some time to refill (though you can speed this up by flying up into the sky to bathe in the sun’s rays). One of the constant problems with Superman videogames is that, thanks to the prerequisite for character’s to have a health bar, the Man of Steel is often neutered or susceptible to damage and death rather than being the powerful, superhuman hero he is known to be. Superman Returns comes up with a truly inspired solution to this problem; not only are Superman’s powers restricted by a power meter, not only does he come up against powerful alien foes and robots that are able to bash him about like a ragdoll, but he must also ensure that Metropolis doesn’t suffer too much damage from the constant barrage of attacks that befall it.

In an ingenious twist, Metropolis takes damage in Superman’s place.

Enemies will attack civilians, set fire to buildings, and the environment is highly destructible, meaning that cars, trees, walls, and other objects and parts of the environment can be used as weapons or destroyed and, if the city is damaged too much, Superman will fail his mission and you’ll have to either restart the chapter or reload your last save. Replenishing Metropolis’ “health” can be quite a chore; you can pick up injured civilians (one at a time) and carry them to a specific ambulance to restore a bit of the city’s health but the best way to bump its health back up is to get rid of all the enemies or the threat in play or reload your last save. Unlike the vast majority of videogames, Superman Returns doesn’t appear to autosave after you complete objectives and missions; instead, you can/must manually save from the pause menu, which also lets you view Superman’s combos, statistics, and the experience points (XP) you’ve accumulated. XP is earned by defending Metropolis from incoming comets, burning buildings, and attacks from aliens, robots, and Cadmus’ monstrous creations; when you gain enough XP, Superman will level-up and his superpowers will automatically become more powerful as a result. Superman Returns features a nice little mini map on the bottom left of the screen that shows you where enemies and ambulances are located and Superman will pick up cries of distress and be able to see objective markers thanks to his super-senses. You can also view the entire city map by pressing the ‘Back’ button but this really isn’t all that helpful as no areas, secrets, or places of interest are highlighted and the only place you can fast travel to and from is the Fortress of Solitude.

Gameplay gets extremely tedious and frustrating very quickly.

Gameplay gets extremely repetitive very quickly and the game’s pace is all over the place; you cannot progress the story until you’ve defended Metropolis from a certain number of random attacks, which occur either so sporadically that you’re flying around aimlessly like an idiot or happen so often and have so many enemies that it becomes annoying. You cannot just fly away from these incidents and ignore them, either, as that’ll cause a game over but, even though you’re playing as frickin’ Superman, you often end up getting bashed all over the place by a barrage of attacks and are forced to mash buttons to get Superman’s useless ass back into the fight. A certain amount of strategy is required to take on enemies, who can race away across the city or are vulnerable to certain superpowers, but it all gets very frustrating and mind-numbing very quickly. Incidents where you have to blast meteors from the sky, put out fires, save citizens, or tackle incoming tornados help to break the monotony up a bit but they’re few and far between.

Graphics and Sound:
Similar to the movie it’s based on, Superman Returns makes extremely poor use of John Williams’ iconic Superman theme; in fact, the rousing “DUN-dun-dun-DUN-DUN” doesn’t appear at all in the game and is replaced by a very generic soundalike that really undermines the entire experience. Stars Brandon Routh, Kate Bosworth, and Kevin Spacey all return to lend their likenesses and voices but, sadly, like many videogame adaptations of movies, the game’s interpretation of the film’s events leaves out many of the characters and sub-plots from the source material and provides only a very basic recap of the film as story-based missions.

While the cutscenes look terrible, Superman’s character model is okay, especially when he’s flying.

Plus, while these actors do lend their likenesses, only Superman appears as an in-game character model. The game’s cutscenes are quite low-quality, very blurry, and extremely limited in their detail and length but, thankfully, Superman himself looks mostly okay. When you leave him standing around, he’ll strike a heroic pose (the camera even automatically changes position for the best possible shot) and NPCs will continuous be in awe of his presence, feats, or begging for his help. Superman looks best, however, when flying at high speeds; his head and neck seem a little disproportionate to his body and, like many Xbox 360 character models, he looks a bit more like a malformed action figure than an actual person with a logical skeletal structure. Superman ragdolls around when attacked and seems quite unwieldy at times as he’s both superfast but also clunky and his attacks are slow and have a limited range; additionally, there are some wonky instances of cape physics as well but, still, it’s probably the best rendition of the character in a solo videogame I’ve seen yet.

Metropolis may be big and impressive but it’s incredibly lifeless and empty.

Superman’s enemies aren’t exactly much to shout about either; indeed, it seems like the developers put all of their time and effort into creating a vast city for you to fly around in. However, considering how good a job Superman Returns does of recreating Metropolis, it’s quite a dull and uninspiring experience; although cars drive through the streets and non-playable characters (NPCs) wander around the place, the city feels extremely empty and lifeless and there really isn’t that much to do or see beyond iconic buildings like the Daily Planet and areas such as Suicide Slum. Metropolis may be very grey and barren at the best of times but you can damage and interact with a fair amount of it (which is actually to your detriment as it’ll cost the city health) and the environment does change at the start of the game, where you fight Mongul and his warriors on Warworld, and in the final chapters when the city is bathed in an ominous darkness and a tumultuous thunderstorm but you never get to go inside any buildings or freely visit other environments so it all becomes very underwhelming and boring very quickly.

Enemies and Bosses:
There are three types of enemies Superman will have to defend Metropolis against: the alien forces of Mongul, killer robots created and controlled by John Corben/Metallo, and the various monstrous clones created by Cadmus. As you play though the game’s story, you’ll encounter each of these, and their many variants, in successive fashion and, by the end of the game, entire groups of different enemies will attack the city and its inhabitants. For the most part, enemies fall into some recognisable tropes no matter their appearance, being susceptible to heat vision or freeze breath or more vulnerable against objects (such as cars and debris) being thrown at them. Some are smaller and faster, zipping around on the ground or flying through the air and firing Kryptonite lasers, energy blasts, or elemental plumes at you; others are larger, requiring more combos to damage or blocking your attacks; and others will directly attack the environment to distract you with fires and such.

Bosses like Overcast and Metallo eventually grow to gigantic proportions.

You’ll learn the basics of combat at the start of the game, where Mongul forces you to fight his minions, Phalanx and Overcast, before taking you on himself. This teaches you how to engage with multiple enemies, use the environment to deal damage to gigantic enemies, and the importance of holding B to block or pressing B to quickly dodge behind opponents. Each group of enemies you face from that point on is directly related to the main villain who serves as the recurring and final boss of that particular chapter; thus, when trying to put a stop to Metallo, you’ll first have to stop his robot minions from attacking the city. Complete enough of these missions, and Metallo will spawn into the map and you can fight him; similar to the enemies you battle on Warworld, Metallo attacks by pummelling you, blasting you with a massive Kryptonite laser, shielding himself like a bitch, and spawning in minions to distract you. Like Overcast, Metallo eventually grows to enormous proportions and begins trashing the city, forcing you to hurl cars at him. Once you deal enough damage, he’ll try to destroy the city with a missile, necessitating that you chase after it and complete a quick-time event (QTE) to stop it and bring him down once and for all.

Unless you use your powers in the right way, Bizarro and Riot can be a right pain in the ass.

Next, a breakout at Cadmus Labs sees a whole slew of vicious, demonic monsters roam rampant around the city, attacking blimps and causing massive damage with their big explosive attacks. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Superman’s flawed doppelgänger, Bizarro, is also running rampant; compared to Brainiac, Bizarro is a much easier fight as it’s much simpler to avoid his lumbering attacks and land some combos on him. To put him down for good, however, you’ll need to chase after him and ram into him to stop him destroying the city with his heat vision and complete another QTE in a test of heat vision, all while desperately trying to fend off swarms of flying monsters who pummel you relentlessly. That’s nothing, however, compared to fighting Frederick von Frankenstein/Riot, who duplicates himself every time you land a melee attack and can only be defeated by blasting him and his doubles with your freeze breath and then your heat vision, which can get very tedious.

After taking out Mongul, you’ll battle Superman’s ultimate nemesis: a giant tornado!

In the game’s final chapters, Mongul arrives on Earth looking for revenge, bringing with him an army of Phalanx warriors and Overcast, with all three spawning into the map at inopportune times to cause massive amounts of damage. Battling Overcast’s gigantic form while also juggling an endless swarm of Phalanx warriors and contending with Mongul is a hell of a tall order but, thankfully, you can (and totally should) focus on Mongul alone in order to compete this story mission and can worry about the rest later. The opening of the game teaches you that Mongul is a cheap bastard who likes to constantly block your attacks and that’s true in the endgame as well but he’ll also attack citizens and cars and spawns in more and more minions the more damage you do. Personally, I found it easier to just keep throwing cars at him until he goes down. Ultimately, the game concludes with a series of deadly tornados threatening the city; you must blow and freeze them away, put out the fires they cause, and rescue citizens from their path before contending with Superman’s most deadly and iconic foe…a giant tornado! To dispel this swirling mass of destruction, you must blast its core with either your heat vision or freeze breath all while cars and debris relentlessly slam into you but, with enough patience, it’s pretty simple to bring this chore of a game to a close.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
There’s nothing. Seriously, you fly all over the city fighting bad guys and righting wrongs and there’s literally nothing. The only way you can replenish health is to rescue citizens, stop whatever the current threat is, or reload your save and the only tangible power-up you get is from levelling-up. Unlike most videogames, you can’t freely spend your XP upgrading Superman’s skills individually, though; instead, his powers increase automatically, taking all agency and effort out of your hands entirely.

Additional Features:
Superman Returns has a whopping eighteen Achievements for you to earn; six of these are directly tied to defeating the game’s villains and finishing the story, while there are others for fully powering Superman up, defeating enemies with cars, lifting a certain amount of weight, or playing the game for twelve hours total (as if you’re ever going to bother doing that…). Sadly, despite the size of the city, there aren’t any fun Achievements tied to, say, knocking the globe off the Daily Planet or finding all the Planet Krypton restaurants or even finding much of anything for that matter.

Rescue kittens, race against Mr. Mxyzptlk, or cause destruction as Bizarro!

That’s not to say that there isn’t nothing else to do in the game; there are a hundred kittens hidden throughout the city that you can find for an Achievement and, at various points around the map, you’ll encounter Mister Mxyzptlk who’ll challenge you to completing increasingly-challenging races against him. These are quite fun but by far the most entertaining side mission are the instances where you get to play as Bizarro and cause as much damage as possible in a time limit. You can input some cheat codes to make the game easier but you won’t earn any Achievements (except for a 0G one) if you do this. As you play and level-up and explore, you’ll also acquire trophies to view in the Fortress of Solitude and unlock a couple of additional suits for Superman, which is nice, but there’s really not much to entice you back to this game once you’re done trudging through this God-awful borefest.

The Summary:
Superman Returns may very well be the most accurate and impressive Superman game I’ve ever played; being able to fly through and across an impressively-rendered recreation of Metropolis is a real blast and giving the city a life bar instead of Superman was an ingenious solution to the problem of having Superman take damage or be killed when he really shouldn’t be. Sadly, though, these aspects are the only real saving graces of this game, which is clearly a rushed cash-in produced solely to tie-into the movie. The story is basically nonexistent, the combat and gameplay extremely repetitive and boring, and the presentation is wildly inconsistent as, while the city and Superman look pretty good, the cutscenes and music and dreadful. In the end, only die-hard Superman fans will really be able to enjoy this one and, for the rest of us, it’s just a quick game to plough through to increase your Gamer Score that is more monotonous and frustrating than fun and entertaining so I’d say that it’s best avoided.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Have you ever played the videogame adaptation of Superman Returns? If so, what did you think to it? Did you enjoy the wide, open world of Metropolis and the feeling of having Superman’s full abilities at your fingertips? Were you also disappointed by how empty the world is and how tedious the gameplay was? Which of the game’s villains was your favourite and why and what did you think to how the game expanded upon the plot of the film? What is your favourite Superman videogame and would you like to see something like this tried again but with a bit more time, effort, and money put into it? How did you celebrate Superman Day this year and what are some of your favourite Superman stories?

Movie Night: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

Released: 24 May 1989
Director: Steven Spielberg
Distributor:
Paramount Pictures
Budget: $48 million
Stars:
Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, Julian Glover, John Rhys-Davies and Denholm Elliott

The Plot:
Famed archeologist and adventure-seeker Doctor Henry Jones Jr. (Ford), better known as “Indiana Jones” (or simply “Indy”), begrudgingly teams up with his eccentric father, Professor Henry Jones, Sr. (Connery) to search for the mythical Holy Grail before it falls into the hands of Nazi forces.

The Background:
The brainchild of George Lucas, Indiana Jones was a concept first thought up after filming wrapped on American Graffiti (Lucas, 1973). Inspired by pulp serials, Lucas was initially forced to shelve the project in favour of Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope (ibid, 1977) but eventually teamed with Steven Spielberg, Lawrence Kasdan, and Harrison Ford to brave the sweltering temperatures of Tunisia for Raiders of the Lost Ark (Spielberg, 1981), a critical and commercial hit that kick-started one of cinema’s most influential franchises. Its success took Lucas on step closer to his goal of a trilogy of films; however, the sequel (which was actually a prequel) attracted mixed reviews and controversy for its darker aspects, which contributed to a re-evaluation of film ratings. Yet, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (ibid, 1984) was still one of the year’s highest-grossing movies and is often regarded as a cult classic, and the three joined forces for a third entry in 1989; originally conceived of with a haunted house premise, the plot shifted focus towards the legendary Holy Grail. Spielberg, however, was unconvinced, leading to a Chris Columbus-penned script focusing on pygmies and the Monkey King that also dissatisfied the director, who then suggested introducing Indy’s father and using their strained relationship as a thematic parallel to the search for the Holy Grail. Though initially turning down the role as he was only twelve years older than Ford, the late Sean Connery relented and significantly contributed to the characterisation of the elder Jones so he could be a match for his adventuring son. The most significant of Connery’s suggestions was a prologue that established many of Indy’s character traits, a complex and action-heavy scene involving a specially rigged train and a pit partially filled with live snakes. Equally complex was the temple set used in the finale, which was built on hydraulics and gimbals and took twenty minutes to reset for each take; Industrial Light & Magic returned to work on the film’s special effect, utilising clever camera techniques to compensate for the limitations of a tank, the Grail trials, and a combination of make-up and animatronics for the villain’s iconic death scene. With a box office of nearly $475 million, The Last Crusade was the most successful of the original trilogy; critics were largely unanimous in praising the film for returning to the light-hearted roots of Raiders and the humorous and heart-felt relationship between Indy and his dad. The film is generally regarded as the best of the series and it directly inspired a spin-off television series depicting Indy’s youth, but wouldn’t be the last time we’d see Indy on the big screen as, inexplicably, the franchise was revived for a disastrous fourth entry nearly twenty years later.

The Review:
As exciting and captivating as two previous Indiana Jones movies were, we really didn’t learn all that much about the title character; we know he’s a learned professor of archaeology, extremely capable in a pinch, has a shady past when it comes to his reputation and romances, and that he’s made both allies and enemies over the years but there was no sense of his specific background. This mystery was, honestly, a big part of Indy’s allure; there was a roguish quality to him, a subtle complexity that drives his search for lost artefacts n the name of both “fortune and glory” and preserving them for the benefit of others…and the growth of his wallet. Each movie touched upon different aspects of this and his past, with him having left Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) broken hearted, him having a cheeky kid sidekick, and seeing him walk a fine line between mercenary and patriot through dialogue, allusions to his past, and just the way he carried himself with both confidence and experience, and yet still being able to adapt on the fly when thrown off by the presence of real magic.

The opening delves into Indy’s childhood and establishes many of his character traits.

The Last Crusade immediately seeks to delve further into Indy’s character than ever before, however, by opening in 1912, where we find  young Indiana Jones (River Phoenix) as a budding thirteen-year-old Boy Scout. While exploring the caves at Arches National Park in Utah, Indy and his nervous friend, Herman Mueller (J.J. Hardy), stumble upon a group of grave robbers just as they unearth the fabled golden crucifix of Francisco Vázquez de Coronado. Even at a young age, Indy was outraged at the thought of such an important artefact being sold for profit; so much so that he charges Herman with going back to raise the alarm and takes it upon himself to swipe the cross when the robbers aren’t looking. The grave robbers are led by an unnamed individual in a fedora hat (Richard Young) whose entire look Indy would come to adopt as an adult; he’s got the chinos, the jacket, the rugged good looks, and is so impressed by Indy’s gusto that he gifts him his trademark hat after retrieving the cross through more manipulative means. If you ever wondered why Indy is afraid of snakes, this sequence also has you covered; despite initially tossing one away without a second thought, Indy was traumatised when he came face to face with a hissing serpent on a circus train and then took a dive into a literal pit of the slithering reptiles during his dramatic escape. Crucially, this opening shows Indy’s adaptability, moral integrity, and touches upon his tumultuous relationship with his father that is such a focal point of the movie. In the space of about twelve minutes, this opening sequence examples how trouble just seems to find Indy, and that he’s not some invulnerable action hero; he takes a pratfall while escaping on his horse, accidentally slices open his chin with a bullwhip, and crucially is outsmarted by a combination of his youthful exuberance being a constant headache for his father and the authority wielded by adults.

When his father goes missing, Indy uses his lifelong obsession to find the location of the Holy Grail.

When we jump ahead to 1938, we find the now-the adult Indy finally achieving his lifelong dream of recovering the Cross of Coronado from the robber’s Panama-wearing client (Paul Maxwell), which brings him not only the gratitude of his university colleague, Marcus Brody (Elliott), but also a great deal of closure. Indy is then approached by wealthy businessman Walter Donovan (Glover), a man with a “passion for antiquities” who has contributed generously to Indy’s university over the years. Donovan possesses a stone slab inscribed with Latin text that acts as a map and a guide to the legendary Holy Grail. It’s here where we get a glimpse of why Indy is always so quick to scoff at legends and superstition; not only have countless men died in the pursuit of such stories, but Indy’s father also dedicated his entire life to the pursuit of the Holy Grail at the expense of showing his son any affection, and Indy there for views the Arthurian myth and the search for eternal youth as an “old man’s dream”. Indy is stunned to learn that his father, a “bookworm” with no interest or experience in field work, was not only actively working with Donovan but has also vanished in the process; finding his father’s house ransacked, Indy recovers Henry’s Grail diary and sets out to pick up where his father left out in a bid to rescue him and discover whether the Holy Grail truly exists. Marcus, revealed to have been a close friend to Henry, accompanies Indy on his globe-trotting adventure. Although the bombastic Sallah (Rhys-Davies) tries to help Marcus, the blundering academic is quickly taken hostage; however, Sallah is able to lead the Jonses to him and even accompanies them to the Grail’s location. Indy also runs afoul of the Brotherhood of the Cruciform Sword; led by Kazim (Kevork Malikyan), this secret society is so dedicated to protecting the Holy Grail that they’re willing to die, which they ultimately do when they’re utterly decimated by the Nazi’s superior firepower.

Indy’s strained relationship with Henry is very entertaining.

As mentioned, Indy has a strained relationship with his father stemming back to his youth; as a child, Indy always resented that his father was constantly buried in his research into the Holy Grail, to the point where he barely seemed to acknowledge his son. This bitterness was only exacerbated when Henry could offer no comfort for their shared grief over his mother’s untimely passing and runs so deep that Indy preferred to take the name of the beloved family dog rather than be associated with his famous and inattentive father, and consequently Indy is confused when Henry sends him his life’s work and goes missing while working in the field. Henry’s diary contains all of his knowledge and findings about the Holy Grail, including maps, pictures, rumours, writings, and vague musings. Indy is quickly able to decipher it to follow in his fathers footsteps and pick up where he left off, completely unaware that Henry sent the diary to him to keep it safe and in the hopes that he would do the exact opposite. Thus, when Indy is betrayed by Henry’s beautiful colleague, Elsa Schneider (Doody) and left to die, Henry is disappointed and outraged to learn that Indy brought the diary with him and unwittingly helped the Nazis discover the Grail’s resting place. Indy and Henry’s relationship throughout the film is framed by awkwardness and comedy; the aloof professor smashes a vase over his son’s head after mistaking him for a Nazi, constantly carries his briefcase and umbrella, and seems continuously nonplussed, if not aggravated, by Indy’s more adventurous and violent lifestyle. Indy’s usual bravado falters around his father; he regresses somewhat to a childish state, referring to henry as “Sir”, being irritated by Henry’s insistence on calling him “Junior”, and constantly aggravated by his father’s obsession with the Holy Grail and refusal to acknowledge that he wasn’t the most loving father. In contrast, Henry believes that he taught Indy self-reliance and respected his privacy, the very tools which have made him the man he is today, and is quick to brush aside Indy’s plea for a more traditional father/son relationship to focus on the more pressing task of reaching the Holy Grail before the Nazis. Like Henry, Marcus isn’t accustomed to field work and quickly becomes the bumbling comic relief of the movie; far from being a detrimental aspect of the film, though, this results in one of my favourite sequences where Indy resolutely hypes up Marcus as being a capable and formidable adversary, only for us to see that he’s hopeless in over his head amidst the crowded streets of İskenderun and to learn that he once got lost in his own museum!

Both Elsa and Donovan betray Indy and utilise the Nazis to find the coveted Holy Grail.

Indy and Marcus are met in Venice by Elsa, an Austrian art professor who immediately catches Indy’s eye. Having worked closely with Henry throughout his investigation, she appears devastated at his disappearance especially as he had recently become uncharacteristically excited by his findings and continuously notes the similarities between the two Jonses, much to Indy’s dismay. Though angered to find that he didn’t trust her with Henry’s diary, Elsa eagerly (and practically literally) jumps at the chance to get intimate with Indy after their rooms are ransacked and dutifully plays the part of Indy’s assistant when he adopts the questionable guise of a Scottish lord to infiltrate Castle Brunwald, a Nazi-controlled castle in Austria. Indy quickly becomes besotted by her and this, as much as his animosity towards his father, leads to him being easily betrayed by Elsa, who claims the diary for her Nazi superiors, represented by brutal Schutzstaffel colonel Ernst Vogel (Michael Byrne). However, when Indy confronts her in Berlin, we see that Elsa is distraught by their xenophobic and violent ways and simply covets the Holy Grail for her own selfish ends. Thus, like in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Nazis are used as a means to an end and essentially portrayed as bumbling, glorified henchmen for Indy to shoot, beat up, and embarrass at every turn. Initially introduced as an affluent businessman who desires to locate the Holy Grail and realise every man’s dream of eternal youth, Donovan is well versed in Grail lore, such as its discovery by three Knights of the First Crusade. While Indy scoffs at these bed time stories, he is intrigued and impressed to find that Donovan not only possesses the incomplete Grail slab but also an elaborate manuscript that proves the stories are true. Having worked with Henry in a bid to uncover the Grail’s location, Donovan desperately turns to Indy to complete the quest for the benefit of all mankind but, in actuality, uses both the Jonses, and the Nazis, and even bribes the sultan of Hatay (Alexei Sayle) to realise his dreams of immortality and everlasting youth.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is a u-turn back to the free-spirited adventure and quirky action/comedy of Raider of the Lost Ark; perhaps, in some ways, too much of a u-turn. Not only is the title font now the same as in Raiders, robbing us of the more stylistic Indy logo, but Indy is seen back in the classroom teaching a bunch of lovestruck teenagers before he’s joined by Marcus, who asks all about his latest escapade, and his conscripted into going off on another adventure, just like in Raiders. Interestingly, Indy’s lesson paints archaeology as a decidedly dull profession, where he downplays clichés and excitement of the profession and urges his students to do their research rather than gallivanting across the world despite the fact that this is exactly what he does; the movie even makes this a bit of a joke as, despite Indy’s assurances, X very much does “mark the spot” later in the narrative. As someone who actually enjoyed the darker aspects of Temple of Doom, and how it offered something a little different to the franchise, it is a little disappointing to see The Last Crusade go back to the Nazis and hit many of the same beats as Raiders of the Lost Ark but, thankfully, there’s enough here to make it stand out on its own, not least in the extended opening that shows us Indy’s childhood and the most elaborate action sequences of the franchise so far, but crucially in demonstrating the relationship between Indy and his father.

Indy and Henry are more alike than they would care to admit and bond over their adventure.

This relationship is what really sets The Last Crusade from its predecessors and, in my opinion and the opinions of many, makes the film the most enjoyable of the franchise. Who out there can’t relate to trying to earn the respect and attention of their parents, after all? Indy has been striving for this his entire life; even s an adult, he just wants his father to show him some warmth and love but he’s constantly playing second fiddle to his obsession with the Holy Grail or his admiration for antiquities. Even when tied to a chair, the Jonses cannot help but bicker with each other as Henry chastises his son’s foolishness and Indy desperately tries to escape their bonds, only for his father’s clumsiness to cause the room to catch fire! Still, it’s fun seeing Indy put together the vague clues in Henry’s diary, which lead him to desecrate a church (that’s been revamped into a library) to uncover the tomb of a Grail Knight beneath the beautiful water-logged streets of Venice and complete the Grail slab. While Henry’s diary makes it clear just how close he was to uncovering the Grail’s location, he’s still thrilled and even gives Indy praise for finding the tomb and the starting point for the trail to the Grail, the ancient city of Alexandretta. Henry may be aghast at Indy’s penchant for violence and lacks his son’s more physical attributes, often taking the role of an inept hostage or accidentally trigging hidden doors or damaging their plane with erratic gunfire, he’s never short of a biting remark or a disapproving scowl at Indy’s “intolerable” actions. However, he shows a spark of capability when he sends a flock of birds flying into a Nazi plane using his umbrella and gets his hands dirty to rescue Marcus from Donovan’s tank, and is also revealed to be just as much of a ladies’ man as his son since he also shared a bed with Elsa.

The film is bolstered by exhilarating action sequences, with Indy’s battle against a tank being a highlight.

In addition to detailing how every recognisable element of Indy came to be, the opening doubles as an exciting action set piece as young Indy is chased by grave robbers to a circus train, resulting in a thrilling chase across the rooftops and through the carriages of a circus train and some close encounters with giant reptiles, an enraged rhino, and a voracious lion amidst the threat of being shot and stabbed. Even as a youth, Indy showcased an admirable fighting spirit; though outnumbered and outclassed by the grave robbers, he was still able to steal the Cross of Coronado from them, got in a few good shots, and temporarily outwit them. While retrieving it as an adult, he’s become adept at using his surroundings to his advantage in a fight, even when fighting in the midst of a raging storm at sea, and at swinging about with his whip. The Last Crusade takes Indy into the heart of Nazi Germany, where he comes face-to-face with Adolf Hitler himself (Michael Sheard), and sees him hilariously masquerading as a ticket attendant aboard the Nazi’s impressive blimp (after). This also results in a riveting chase sequence that sees Henry bungle their escape via biplane and Indy outracing the German fighters in a car. Perhaps the film’s most thrilling action sequence involves Indy chasing after a massive tank on horseback. Despite the insurmountable odds, Indy is able to jam the tank’s cannon, guns down three soldiers with a single shot, and goes toe-to-toe with Vogel atop the tank as his men are crushed underfoot. This sequence again reinforces Indy’s vulnerability as he’s constantly swarmed by armed soldiers, almost crushed against a canyon wall, and appears to go tumbling over a cliff edge along with Vogel and the tank in an amusing fake out that doubles as a poignant moment where Henry finally (if briefly) shows some love and affection for his son.

After besting the trials and choosing wisely, Indy saves his father and the two finally reconcile.

Thankfully, not all of the darker elements of the franchise have been excised; the walls of the Grail Knight’s tomb are filled with skeletal remains and the sewer-like catacomb is populated by mewling rats, recalling the bug-infested tunnel of Temple of Doom but the most disturbing effect is saved for the finale. Thanks to Henry’s diary, Donovan and Elsa are able to reach to the Canyon of the Crescent Moon, where temple where the Holy Grail is guarded behind three trials. Lacking the preparation and knowledge to best these tasks, Donovan’s soldiers are unable to keep from being beheaded by the temple’s boobytraps, so Donovan mortally wounds Henry with a gunshot to force Indy to venture inside and lead them to the Holy Grail. Once again forced to acknowledge that mysticism is all-too-real, Indy desperately relies on his father’s research to guide him through: realising that a penitent man kneels before God, Indy is able to narrowly avoid being diced by a series of buzzsaws; Indy then steps on the correct floor tiles to spell out God’s true name, though he almost falls to his death when he forgets his Latin alphabet. Finally, Indy faces a literal leap of faith when confronted with a large chasm; though he willingly takes the plunge, he’s stunned to find the path is an optical illusion that leads right to a chamber filled with dozens of different chalices and guarded by an aging Grail Knight (Robert Eddison). Donovan and Elsa follow and are captivated by the treasures; out of spite, Elsa picks an ornate golden chalice that more than meets Donovan’s expectations, but his elation turns to horror when drinking from it causes him to rapidly and agonisingly age into a howling skeleton. Indy chooses far more wisely by selecting a modest cup, which he successfully tests on himself before using to heal his father; a passing line by the Knight reveals that the Grail cannot pass beyond the temple, potentially explaining Henry’s later death and Indy’s lack of everlasting youth in future films. However, Elsa cannot give up her obsession, causing the temple to crumble apart around her; in her desperate desire to claim it for herself, she falls to her death and Indy briefly comes close to suffering the same fate when he’s left dangling precariously with the fabled chalice within reach. He’s talked away from the brink by this father, who touchingly refers to him as “Indiana” for the first time, saving his life, realising Henry’s lifelong dream, and repairing the rift between the Jonses through their shared experience.  

The Summary:
I may have some issues with how Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade regresses the narrative and direction of the franchise in some ways; it takes maybe a few too many cues from Raiders of the Lost Ark at times, which is a little disappointing, but I think it benefits from being the third entry. If it had been the second, these elements might have stuck out as being more derivative but, luckily, The Last Crusade takes everything that worked in the last two films and expands upon them in exciting and unique ways. It might be a little unbelievable that all of Indy’s most important experiences occurred on one Boy Scout expedition but this glimpse into his adventurous youth, but it really helped to show how his attitude and personality was shaped by his childhood. Of course, the heart of the film is the adorable and intricate relationship between Indy and his father. An aggravating authority figure who grates on Indy’s last nerve, the chemistry these two serves is the selling point of this movie and it’s fantastic to see new nuances added to Indy’s character through his interactions with Henry. They’re bumbling adventures with the Nazis are so much fun that I could honestly watch these two get into all kinds of scrapes and go on further adventures, which sadly wasn’t to be but really elevates The Last Crusade above its predecessors while staying true to their pulp origins. Although not as dark as the second entry, The Last Crusade more than makes up for it with some fun action sequences, elaborate boobytraps, and a truly horrific final fate for Donovan. Ultimately, while the three classic Indiana Jones films all have appealing factors and each one is great in its own way, for me The Last Crusade edges out the other two thanks to the efforts of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery and remains the standard barer for the franchise even now.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade your favourite of the series? What did you think to the chemistry between Harrison Ford and Sean Connery and the relationship between Indy and his father? Did you see Elsa and Donovan’s turn coming and what did you think to the Nazis returning as antagonists? Which of the film’s action set pieces was your favourite? Did you enjoy the opening sequence and the look into Indy’s childhood or was it a little unbelievable for you? Do you think you would’ve been able to best the trails and select the correct Holy Grail? Would you have liked to see more from Henry in a fourth movie and did you think he and Indy had been gifted with eternal youth? Whatever you think about Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, feel free to share your memories of Indiana Jones in the comments or on my social media.

Game Corner [Sonic Month]: Sonic the Fighters (Xbox One)


Sonic the Hedgehog was first introduced to gamers worldwide on 23 June 1991 and, since then, has become not only SEGA’s most enduring and popular character but also a beloved videogame icon and what better way to honour SEGA’s supersonic mascot than by celebrating his birthday all throughout June.


This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper.
If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.

GameCorner

Released: 28 November 2012
Originally Released: June 1996
Developer: SEGA
Original Developer: SEGA AM2
Also Available For: Arcade, GameCube, PlayStation 2, PlayStation 3, Xbox 360

The Background:
As you’re probably aware, Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic Team, 1991) was a massive success for SEGA; it catapulted them ahead of their rivals, Nintendo, and changed the face of the “Console Wars” forever. Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (SEGA Technical Institute, 1992) not only continued that success but also catapulted Sonic into mainstream popularity. SEGA were quick to capitalise on Sonic’s popularity, licensing the character out for comic books, cartoons, and all kinds of merchandise and producing a number of spin-off titles for all kinds of consoles and placing Sonic into many different genres, from racing games to puzzle games and, of course, a fighting game. Sonic the Fighters (also known as Sonic Championship) was developed by SEGA AM2 after the team were spotted dabbling with Sonic character models during the development of Fighting Vipers (SEGA AM2, 1995), whose game engine formed the basis of Sonic the Fighters. I was lucky enough to play Sonic the Fighters at SEGAWorld back in the day but, for many, their first experience with the game was when it was released as part of Sonic Gems Collection (Sonic Team, 2005). Although the game has been criticised for being nothing more than a basic fighting title, Sonic the Fighters was eventually brought to PlayStation 3 and Xbox Live as a digital title that not only gave the game a new coat of paint but also added additional characters and gameplay modes.

The Plot:
Doctor Eggman and his new version of Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic Model. 29 (or “Rocket Metal”), have constructed a spherical battle station, the Death Egg II in orbit. Sonic, his allies and some disreputable types, are each in possession of one of the eight Chaos Emeralds but Miles “Tails” Prower’s Lunar Fox rocket ship can only seat one so they decide to hold a one-on-one tournament to determine who will fly up to stop Dr. Eggman.

Gameplay:
Sonic the Fighters is a 3D polygonal fighter in which you pick from one of eight playable characters and battle the other remaining fighters on a series of garish 3D planes, including a mirror match against a monochrome double of your character, before blasting up to the Death Egg II and battling Metal Sonic and Dr. Eggman. You can select from series staples Sonic, Tails, Amy Rose, Knuckles the Echidna, and Espio the Chameleon and some of the franchise’s more obscure characters Fang the Sniper (also known as Nack the Weasel), Bark the Polar Bear, and Bean the Dynamite. Whichever character you pick, you’ll be tasked with pulling off a variety of rapid-fire punches, kicks, and special attacks using the Y, B, and A buttons in co-ordination with other buttons and directional inputs. You can throw your opponent, duck and sidestep attacks, and raise a barrier by pressing X to block incoming attacks. If your opponent shatters this barrier, though, and you run out of barrier energy, you’ll be left stunned and vulnerable so it’s best to time the use of your barrier to when it’ll be at its most useful. You can also press back, Y, and B to expend some of your barrier’s energy and enter “Hyper Mode”, which will bestow you with some sparkles and increase your speed and attack stats.

Each character has a variety of special moves tailoured to their unique physical attributes.

As a 3D polygonal fighter, Sonic the Fighters allows for a series of basic combos and character-specific special attacks that are awkwardly pulled off using directional inputs and button presses or combinations and change depending on where you’re standing and the position of your opponent, meaning that it’s easy to enter a button combination and simply spam the same moves over and over again. Each character controls a little differently and focus on a slightly different method of attack: Sonic is all about his trademark Spin Dash, Tails can charge at opponents head-on using his twin tails like helicopter blades, Knuckles can glide across the screen, Amy wallops her foes with her Piko-Piko Hammer, Bomb tosses a variety of bombs, Fang uses his rapid-fire popgun, Espio tosses opponents around with his tongue, and Bark is all about the grapples and high-impact punches. Each is just different enough to add a bit of variety to the fast-paced and simplistic gameplay, with Amy favouring barriers, Bark being slower but hitting harder, and Espio being notably aggressive in his attack but you can easily just mash at the buttons and come out on top more often than not.

Sonic the Fighters is all about fast-paced, frantic, cartoony combat and very little else.

Perhaps fittingly, fights in Sonic the Fighters are extremely quick and frantic; health bars seem to drain extremely quickly, especially when you’re hit with a few frenzied punches or a throw or two, and it won’t take you longer than ten minutes or so to blast through the arcade ladder on the easiest setting. You can customise the difficulty of the single-player arcade mode, the length and number of rounds, and set the strength of attacks and number of barriers characters have from the main options menu, which can make the game easier and harder depending on your setup, but it’s a rapid fighting game that bombards you with colours, cartoony slapstick, and a quick burst of adrenaline rather than being a deep or complex fighter. Unlike a lot of fighters, there’s very little to break up the action in Sonic the Fighters; there’s no bonus stages or mini games to worry about and variety only comes into play in the garish and colourful stages and the brief little cutscenes that play in the game’s final stages. Every time you play the game, you’ll battle the same opponents in the same order in the same stages, which only adds to the game’s repetitive and predictable nature, and the only option you’re really given to try and spice up your fights is that you can press the Start button to switch the perspective to slightly behind your character (though I found this a bit disorienting for a one-on-one fighting game).

Graphics and Sound:
Characters are brought to life in the finest polygonal graphics the arcades had to offer; fighters are large, colourful, and extremely expressive, spewing Golden Rings every time they’re hit, squashing when hit with big moves, and reacting with an over-the-top, cartoonish slapstick that really adds to the game’s charm. And, honestly, it’s a good job that these aspects are present in Sonic the Fighters as these kind of graphics (while impressive and trend-setting at the time when the industry was swamped with traditional 2D fighters) really haven’t aged well at all. Seriously, games like Virtual Fighter (SEGA AM2, 1993), Soul Edge (Project Soul, 1995), and Tekken (Namco, 1995) might have shown what the next generation of home consoles and 3D polygonal graphics were capable of but they look pretty ass these days and Sonic the Fighters is no exception with its harsh edges and blocky textures. Still, the game is very bright and colourful and really pops out at you…well, I say “pops” but really it screams in your face with how vibrant and garish it can be. Every character stands out from even the most colourful backgrounds thanks to their large, blocky size, cartoonish expressions, and vivid, recognisable colour schemes (Sonic is a stunning blue, Fang is a unique purple, and Bark is a big cream-coloured polar bear, for example). The character designs really are spot on, with each character having their own unique little quirks and animations to help them stand out; Fang bounces on his tail like a pogo stick, Tails flails his arms around in a little flurry, and Bean haphazardly tosses his bombs with reckless abandon.

Stages are vivid and mostly based on the franchise but very restrictive and a bit bland at times.

The game’s final bosses only continue this, with Metal Sonic rendered beautifully in 3D (he is probably the most smooth and impressive of all the game’s characters) and even Dr. Eggman’s little mech looking both cute and perfectly in character (if a bit small). Each of the game’s eight characters has their own stage and the majority of these stages are based on recognisable Zones from across the Sonic franchise but, ironically, the four core characters (Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy) seem to have been slightly misplaced in these stages. You’d think that you’d face Sonic in the Green Hill-inspired South Island and Knuckles in Mushroom Hill but, actually, you face Knuckles in South Island and Espio in Mushroom Hill, which is a bit odd. Fang, Bean, and Bark and all perfectly placed in Casino Night, Dynamite Plant (which seems like an amalgamation of Chemical Plant, Oil Ocean, and Metropolis Zone), and Aurora Icefield, however. Stages are limited to a very small, restrictive 3D plane that, yes, you can freely navigate around using movements and sidesteps but they’re not very big. You won’t have to worry about ring outs, however, which is good, and you can smack your opponent into, and bounce them off of, the walls of each stage, which can produce comical sounds from the Sonic sound effects library. One area where the game really excels in its music; jaunty, upbeat, energetic tunes accompany the start, end, and duration of each round and it (like the game’s general aesthetic) reminds me of the look and sound of Sonic 3D: Flickies’ Island/Sonic 3D Blast (Traveller’s Tales/Sonic Team, 1996) and even the Sonic the Hedgehog original video animation (Ikegami, 1999). When you win a round, you’ll also view an instant replay of the last few moments of the fight, much like in Tekken, and a handful of quick, simple cutscenes (which utilise the in-game graphics) show Dr. Eggman copying your fighter for the mirror match and relay the general plot of the game as well as the dramatic ending that sees you battling against a strict time limit.

Enemies and Bosses:
As a one-on-one fighting game, you’ll be tasked with battling every character in the game in your quest to secure the eight Chaos Emeralds and take on Metal Sonic and Dr. Eggman. No matter who you pick, though, two things are guaranteed: one is that you’ll battle a monochrome double of yourself and the other is that you’ll face the same fighters in the same order every time, meaning you can prepare accordingly for the unique traits of each fighter without being taken by surprise, though it does make the single-player arcade ladder very predictable and repetitive. I played the game on the easiest difficulty and found that the first few fights were pretty much a walk in the park: Knuckles is extremely unaggressive and rarely even tries to launch an attack against you, Amy likes to hide behind her barriers to drag out the battle, and Bark, for all his size and power, is pretty easy to dominate with the faster characters. Things always seem to take a turn for me when I go up against Espio, who appears to be much more aggressive in his approach, and Fang, who is extremely cheap to both play as or fight against since his popgun just blasts projectiles with relentless abandon.

Once you get past the tough Metal Sonic, you’re given just fifteen seconds to take out Dr. Eggman.

Once you conquer all of the fighters and secure the eight Chaos Emeralds, you’ll rocket up to the Death Egg II and do battle with the game’s toughest opponent yet: Metal Sonic. Metal Sonic is a fast, aggressive move thief, busting out a version of Tails’ helicopter drop and Knuckles’ glide by rocketing across the screen like a torpedo. He can also blast out a large laser from his chest and drain your health bar with just a few combos and is easily the most frustrating opponent in the game made all the more annoying because of the game’s dodgy controls and requirements to properly pull off special moves. Once you finally take out Metal Sonic, though, the Death Egg II’s self-destruction sequence begins and Dr. Eggman comes stomping out in his little pincer mech and tries to keep you from escaping before the space station explodes. For this battle, you’ll automatically be placed into a permanent Hyper Mode but, on the flip side, you’ll also be given fifteen seconds to defeat Dr. Eggman in a single round fight and, if you fail, it’s game over. Thankfully, Dr. Eggman is no real threat (at least on the easiest setting) and you can simply trounce him in no time at all by spamming whatever attacks and combos you know before he even has a chance to unload his best attacks against you.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
There’s no extraneous power-ups or onscreen collectibles to worry about in Sonic the Fighters; it’s about as bare bones as you can get for a fighting title and the only power-up you have at your disposal is the Hyper Mode, which can be activated for a few seconds at the cost of some barrier energy and can help turn the tide if you’re struggling. If you manage to reach Metal Sonic without losing a single round, and score the win in the first round against him, you can activate your Hyper Mode to transform into Super Sonic for the remainder of the game. Obviously, this only applies when you’re playing as Sonic and no other character gets this buff and, unfortunately, there’s no way to play as Super Sonic outside of this requirement but it’s pretty cool to wreck Metal Sonic and Dr. Eggman as a fully powered up Super Sonic if you’ve got the skills and luck to activate this form.

Additional Features:
There are twelve Achievements for you to earn in Sonic the Fighters and you should probably be able to get them all in one quick playthrough without any real difficulty. Seven of the Achievements are earned simply by completing the arcade mode on any difficulty; you’ll also nab another from playing arcade mode and battling your monochrome doppelgänger and, as long as you press the attack against a defending opponent, you’ll most likely grab another at the same time, too. The only ones that you might have to think a little harder about are ‘A Small Transformation’ (which requires you to get squashed by Amy’s hammer attack), ‘Perfect’ (which requires you to complete one round without being hit), and ‘Honey the Cat’ (which requires you to press Start when selecting Amy).

This version of the game adds three extra fighters to play as, which is a nice touch.

Speaking of Honey, this character was officially added to the game’s playable roster of fighters in this console port, which is very much appreciated. You can also play as Metal Sonic and Dr. Eggman by pressing Start when selecting Sonic or Bean, respectively, but you can only play as these two outside of the arcade mode, which is a bit of a shame. Equally disappointing is that other cut variants of the bosses were still inaccessible even in this game and that there’s no way to play a one-on-one fight against a computer-controlled opponent outside of the arcade mode. You can, however, fight against a friend in both couch co-op and online and compare your scores and winning streaks with others with the online leaderboards but, sadly, that’s it; there’s no gallery or character models or anything, which is a bit of a shame.

The Summary:
Sonic the Fighters is a fairly decent little blast of fun that should keep you satisfied for about, maybe, half an hour at the most. The arcade mode is a breeze to blast through in about ten minutes, depending on your skill level and the difficulty settings you set up, and there’s some fun to be had playing as each character and basking in their vibrant, animated 3D models. As an obscure entry in the Sonic franchise, you could do a lot worse and it’s great seeing Fang, Bean, and Bark brought to life in 3D and given a chance to shine. I’ll never understand why it took SEGA so long to bring these fantastically-designed characters back into the franchise and that, and my brief experience with the game at SEGAWorld, means I have a bit of a soft spot for this mostly forgotten entry in the franchise. However, it can’t be denied that Sonic the Fighters isn’t really that good of a gaming experience or a fighting game; it’s bright and vibrant and full of quirky, cartoonish charm but there are definitely better 3D fighters out there from the same time and the game is just too fast and too frantic for its own good, meaning it’s a disappointingly short and underwhelming experience that is only worth your time because it’s kinda cheap, the Achievements are dead easy to get, and you can breeze through it easily enough even when facing the game’s cheaper, more frustrating opponents.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Sonic the Fighters? Which of the game’s roster was your favourite and why? What did you think to the game’s aesthetic and gameplay? Did you struggle with the controls and button inputs or did you discover a depth to the gameplay that I missed while madly mashing buttons? Did you ever play Sonic the Fighters out in the wild or did you first experience it when it was ported to home consoles? Would you like to see SEGA attempt a Sonic fighting game again sometime, maybe in the mould of the Super Smash Bros. series (HAL Laboratory/Various, 1999 to present)? Whatever your thoughts on Sonic the Fighters, leave a comment down below.

Movie Night [Captain Picard Day]: Star Trek Generations


As amusing detail in the Star Trek: The Next Generation (1987 to 1994) episode “The Pegasus” (Burton, 1994) is that the crew and children of the U.S.S. Enterprise-D celebrate “Captain Picard Day” on Stardate 47457.1, which roughly translates to this day, the 16th of June. They do this by producing drawings, models, and paintings that the bewildered Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) must then judge. I, however, am using this as another good excuse to delve into some more Picard and Next Generation content.


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Released: 18 November 1994
Director: David Carson
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Budget: $60 million
Stars: Patrick Stewart, Malcolm McDowell, Brent Spiner, Jonathan Frakes, Levar Burton, and William Shatner

The Plot:
When Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Stewart) and his crew investigate a Romulan attack and rescue Doctor Tolian Soran (McDowell). Soran forces the Enterprise-D into a conflict with the Klingons so that he can return to an extra-dimensional realm known as the “Nexus”, a plot that threatens to destroy entire worlds and sees Picard entering the Nexus to recruit the help of the legendary Captain James T. Kirk (Shatner).

The Background:
Once the popular Star Trek: The Next Generation wrapped up, the crew, like their predecessors, featured in a series of feature-length films. Writers Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga were recruited mid-way through The Next Generation’s sixth season to pen the script for the crew’s first big-screen outing, which was always framed around the idea of the Original Series (1966 to 1969) crew passing the torch, or outright doing battle with, their Next Generation successors, though the writers struggled to find a way to have the multi-generational crews meet face-to-face. Determined to aim high, the writers and producer Rick Berman hit upon the idea of killing the iconic Captain Kirk, a decision which both the studio and Shatner had some concerns about. For the transition to the silver screen, production designer Herman Zimmerman improved many of the Next Generation sets, giving them a new coat of polish and designing an elaborate new area, stellar cartography, for a key scene in the narrative, while Bill George gave the Enterprise-D a touch up for cinema screens. Star Trek Generations also marked the first use of extensive CGI for many of the model, space, and battle scenes, which very quickly became the norm for future Star Trek projects. Star Trek Generations grossed $118 million at the box office, making it a financial success, but was met with mixed reviews; critics complained that it felt more like a longer episode of the TV series and relied too much on audience familiarity, and many criticised the film for killing Kirk in such an underwhelming fashion. What should have been an iconic meeting of two prominent Star Trek characters was seen as a disappointing waste of potential, with Patrick Stewart generally regarded as the superior actor of the two, and many of the film’s other plot points were seen as equally disappointing. These days, Star Trek Generations remains divisive, but it did result in a series of bonkers novels written by Shatner that returned his famous character to life for further adventures.

The Review:
I’ve talked a bit about this before, but I was firmly a Next Generation fan as a kid; my only real experience to the Original Series came from the films, as the show just wasn’t on terrestrial television when I was growing up, so it was Next Generation and onwards for me. Still, I was fascinated by the concept of the Original Series and had been won over by the cast and characters from the majority of their feature-film adventures, so the idea of seeing interactions between them both was very exciting for me as a Star Trek fan. I believe I’d seen the two-part Next Generation episode “Unification” (Landau; Bole, 1991) prior to this, or not long after, which offered a rare cross-generational moment when Picard encountered Ambassador Spock (Leonard Nimoy), but it seemed like it would be all-but-impossible to get the Enterprise-A and Enterprise-D in the same place at the same time due to the massive time gap between the generations, so Star Trek Generations had a hell of a lot of potential and promise in its premise alone.

Picard is distraught when his family is killed but is the only one strong enough to reject the idyllic Nexus.

Following a dramatic opening sequence in which he learn that Kirk was presumably lost when the ridiculously unprepared Enterprise-B was damaged by a destructive energy ribbon later identified as the “Nexus”, Star Trek Generations jumps ahead to the then-present day some eighty years later to find the crew of the Enterprise-D celebrating the promotion of Lieutenant Worf (Michael Dorn) to Lieutenant-Commander on a holodeck simulator. Unfortunately, Picard’s jovial mood soon takes an unexpected and crushing blow when he receives word that his brother and nephew, Robert (Jeremy Kemp/Ian Abercrombie) and René (David Tristan Birkin/Christopher James Miller), have perished in a fire at Château Picard. This leaves Picard in an extremely vulnerable place for the majority of the film; struggling to process his grief, he becomes irritable and snaps at his crew, most notably Commander William Riker (Frakes) and Lieutenant-Commander Data (Spiner). Sympathy from Counsellor Deanna Troi (Marina Sirtis) allows him to open up (in actual fact, he breaks down in an uncomfortably awkward sequence) about the fire, but he remains somewhat shell-shocked by the realisation that his family line has effectively ended with the death of his young nephew. Consequently, he has a contentious relationship, to say the least, with the concept of time; feeling his age and the weight of what could have been baring down on top of him, he’s fascinated by the allure of the Nexus, which promises its occupants their ideal life at the cost of denying the reality of the outside world. Despite his pain and doubts, Picard remains a stern, but fair, commanding officer and throws himself whole-heartedly into trying to predict and ultimately stop the ribbon’s destructive path. He’s also the only one of the three Nexus occupants to actively reject the paradise dimension through the sheer force of his conviction to making a difference in the galaxy and living a life worth remembering while he has the time, regardless of what he does or doesn’t leave behind.

After a social faux pas, Data installs an Emotion Chip but struggles with the new sensations it brings.

As is generally the case with the Next Generation feature-films, it’s Data who receives the biggest sub-plot out of the rest of the Enterprise-D crew; just as Picard struggles with his emotions, Data finds himself perplexed at his continued inability to grasp basic human concepts such as “humour” and is so disturbed at having misunderstood the concept and upsetting Doctor Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) that he resolves to install the “Emotion Chip” (retrieved from his twin “brother”, Lore (also Spiner), in the episode “Descent, Part II” (Singer, 1993)). Data’s struggles to process and adapt to the sudden influx of emotions is a recurring element of the film, and a significant character arc for him; at first, he’s excited at exploring positive emotions and his increased range of comprehension and emotion, and this gives Spiner a chance to be much more whimsical with the normally logical android and leads to some of the film’s more amusing moments as Data is hit with a case of the giggles and does a little sing-song when asked to scan for lifeforms. However, he soon becomes overwhelmed by them, and the accompanying negative emotions, when the chip overloads his positronic relay. After being crippled by fear, Data is left guilt-ridden when his friend, Commander Geordi LaForge (Burton), is captured by the Klingons and begs to be deactivated until the chip can be removed so he can be spared his pain. This, however, acts as a thematic parallel to Picard’s own pain and the Captain encourages Data to work through his emotions since learning to process the good and the bad is all part of being human, which includes making mistakes and learning how to overcome fear and doubt. Ultimately, Data resolves to continue on and make amends for his mistake, though Geordi shows no ill-will towards his friend, which results in him ending the film as a far more emotionally expressive character than the one we followed in The Next Generation, which would continue to be seen in subsequent Next Generation movies.

Having had a taste of the Nexus. Dr. Soren is obsessed with returning to the virtual paradise it offers.

The film’s primary, tangible antagonist is Dr. Soren, played with scenery chewing (if sadly underutilised) malice by the fantastic Malcolm McDowell. McDowell certainly has the menace and acting chops to match wits with Stewart/Picard, but Dr. Soren doesn’t really make for an especially intimidating villain, despite the fact that his obsession with the Nexus has led to the destruction of numerous starships and even entire planets. Like Guinan (Whoopi Goldberg), Dr. Soren is a long-lived El-Aurian whose race were decimated by the Borg and scattered throughout the galaxy; prior to this, he was a gentle and kind-hearted man, but the Borg attack and the loss of his beloved wife and children changed him, scarred him, for life. Dr. Soren came to regard death as in inevitability and time as a predatory animal hunting every lifeform in existence, and actively sought to defy both by losing himself to the Nexus. Having experienced a taste of paradise about eighty years previously before being torn away by the Enterprise-B, Dr. Soren has explored every possibility to re-enter the Nexus and concluded that the only way to guarantee that he survives the cross-dimensional trip is to forcibly direct the energy ribbon towards Veridian III, an action that will cause (and has caused) the cataclysmic destruction of entire worlds. Dr. Soren, however, cares little about this; he even allies with the Klingon sisters Lursa (Barbara March) and B’Etor Duras (Gwynyth Walsh) to stave off the Enterprise-D (using Geordi as an unwilling spy) long enough for him to destroy the Veridan star and enact his plan and refuses to listen to Picard’s pleas for sanity. Dr. Soren is a driven, single-minded villain who is absolutely fixated on returning to the Nexus whatever the cost; he cares nothing for the death and destruction his actions will cause, or how reprehensible his wife would find his actions, and is simply consumed by not only his selfish and maniacal desires but also his fear regarding the inevitability of death.

Kirk is convinced to leave the Nexus on the promise of making a difference to the galaxy once more.

As is only fitting, Kirk – and his Original Series cohorts Commander Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (James Doohan) and Commander Pavel Chekov (Walter Koenig) – is treated with reverence and respect by John Harriman (Alan Ruck), Captain of the Enterprise-B, and are mobbed by adoring reporters, all of whom regard the trio as “living legends”. In keeping with much of his characterisation throughout the Original Series movies, Kirk is a man at a crossroads; very much retired, he is literally itching to get back into action and only stops himself from interfering in Harriman’s actions out of a begrudging respect for the fact that he (as in Kirk) is no longer in command. While his experience and knowledge clearly outweigh those of Harriman, Kirk only gets involved when all other options are exhausted; once he does, he immediately comes up with a variety of possible solutions using the Enterprise-B’s limited capabilities to try and rescue the ships threatened by the Nexus, and even appears to die when successfully helping the ship escape the ribbon’s destructive path. However, it’s revealed that Kirk’s actually been transported to the Nexus; although Kirk’s been presumed dead for almost eighty years, from his perspective he only just arrived in the paradise dimension and, once there, his priorities immediately shift. Kirk sees the otherworldly nirvana as a second chance to make good on all the things he ignored in favour of galivanting across the galaxy and vehemently resents Picard’s suggestion that he’s turning his back on his duties as a Starfleet officer. Kirk feels he has more than paid his dues and that “the galaxy owes [him] one” but sees a lot of himself in Picard; straight-laced and obsessed with “duty and obligation” at the expense of his personal life and wants, but the pull of adventure ultimately lures Kirk into one last hurrah. The interactions between Kirk and Picard are easily the best part of the film, and the verbal jousting and banter they share for the entirety of the final act is incredibly surreal and enjoyable; Kirk represents what Picard could become if he doesn’t realise that he needs to appreciate life outside of Starfleet, and Picard offers Kirk one last chance to “make a difference” like he used to on a near-daily basis and to experience the excitement and danger he felt as Captain of the Enterprise rather than languish in a dream-like dimension.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s hard to argue with those who were disappointed that Star Trek Generations just feels like a longer, mediocre episode of The Next Generation; the film drags unnecessarily with many of its plot points and, especially, in its pacing. Not only are the film’s uniforms wildly inconsistent, constantly shifting between the Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (1993 to 1999) outfits, but it doesn’t even feature the iconic Star Trek theme until the closing credits and begins with a long, drawn out, sombre title sequence in which nothing of any great interest happens and we’re not even treated to a rousing score to get us excited. Obviously, it would be a bit misleading to act as though the film was going to be this action-packed spectacle, but the point is that Star Trek Generations could’ve, and should’ve, been so much more and it fumbles the ball right off the bat. The clue’s in the title: “Generations”, and yet we barely get much interaction between Kirk and Picard and they’re pushed together in one of the most contrived ways imaginable. Maybe it’s just me, but I would have much preferred seeing all of the Original Series crew back in action, in the Enterprise-A, and going head-to-head and battling alongside their Next Generation counterparts.

Sadly, there’s not much for the others or Klingons to do, and Riker even destroys the ship!

Unfortunately, many of the Original Series cast declined to join the production, primarily because they were reduced to glorified cameos in the opening. Consequently, while it’s fun seeing Scotty and Chekov again, it’s nothing compared to what could have been had the entire crew been a part of the film. Sadly, as is often the case, many of the supporting characters are pushed aside so the film can focus on Picard, Data, and the main antagonist. I’m no fan of Riker but Picard’s enigmatic First Officer really doesn’t get all that much to do here; he’s concerned for Picard’s welfare after the Captain is uncharacteristically snappy with him and leads the away teams that investigate the Amargosa observatory, but Generations isn’t a great character moment for Riker as the Enterprise-D is crippled, and ultimately unsalvageably downed, by a twenty-year-old Bird of Prey when he’s left in command! Still, at least he’s at the forefront of that; Deanna tries to console Picard after learning of his loss but has little else to do, Dr. Crusher is primarily there to facilitate Data’s decision to install the Emotion Chip, and Worf may as well not even be in the film since he’s mainly there for a bit of comic relief at the start and offering a tiny piece of advice regarding the aforementioned Bird of Prey (this does result in the Enterprise-D destroying their foe, but I imagine the crew would have figured out how to do that without Worf). Geordi gets a minor sub-plot after he’s captured by the Klingons and Dr. Soren installs a hidden monitoring device in his visor so the Klingons can penetrate the Enterprise-D’s shields (something I really don’t think their obsolete ship should’ve been able to do), and a surprising amount of screen time is given to Guinan, who proves to be much more than a simple bartender when she’s able to give Picard information about the Nexus since she also experienced a taste of it during the opening scene. Finally, there’s the Duras sisters, two Klingon villainesses previously encountered by Picard in the two-part episode “Redemption” (Bole; Carson, 1991) and seemingly included in a desperate attempt to inject some much-needed action and suspense into the otherwise dull main plot and because it’s tradition to have antagonistic Klingons in Star Trek.

Although Dr. Soren’s mad obsessions are ended, the Enterprise-D is destroyed and Kirk dies in the process.

Star Trek Generations is rife with many themes that fans of the Original Series will be more than familiar with; Kirk, more than anyone, embodies a sense of regret over putting his space adventures ahead of more grounded needs, such as having a family and a life of his own. He’s astounded to find that his former helmsman, Captain Hikaru Sulu (George Takei), found the time to start a family and raise a child, Ensign Demora Sulu (Jacqueline Kim), and continues to be torn between wishing he’d done things differently and the allure of being in a position of command on a starship. Family is another important theme in Generations; Dr. Soren’s entire mission and descent into villainy was precipitated by the loss of his family and Picard’s sullen demeanour is brought about by the realisation that his family line will end with him. When he’s in the Nexus, Picard is literally bombarded by the idyllic family life he has long been denied and is momentarily overwhelmed by the illusion, but ultimately rallies against it because not only is it not “real” but there are countless lives at stake should he choose to remain there. This, more than anything, is what convinces Kirk to also leave the Nexus and help Picard oppose Dr. Soren in the finale; originally, Picard was unable to deactivate Dr. Soren’s solar missile and subdue the El-Aurian since he was but one man, but Kirk’s presence is enough to change events in their favour and allow Picard the chance to rig the missile to explode on its launching pad, taking Dr. Soren with it and allowing the Nexus ribbon to harmlessly pass by. Unfortunately, not only is the Enterprise-D left irreparably damaged but Kirk is killed during the fracas when he’s literally crushed under a bridge. While it’s an admittedly anti-climatic death for Star Trek’s most iconic character, it’s still a poignant scene when Kirk dies knowing that he made a difference one last time and it’s pretty heart-breaking to see him realise that death has finally caught up with him. Oddly, Picard chooses to honour Kirk by burying him on Veridian III, but he returns to the Enterprise-D wreckage with a newfound respect for life and determined to make his mark while he still has the time rather than being consumed by his regrets and losses.

The Summary:
I’m a little torn when it comes to Star Trek Generations; it was the first Next Generation movie I saw and, having grown up watching that series more than any other Star Trek show, it was exciting to see a feature-length adventure for “my crew”, especially one that promised to include a meeting between them and their Original Series predecessors. I don’t think the plot should’ve been like “Trials and Tribble-ations” (West, 1996) but I think more effort could’ve gone into making equal roles for each generation of crewmen and bringing them together. Like, maybe the Nexus caused havoc in the past and present, and both crews were encountering and investigating it simultaneously, causing a rift in space/time that allows a brief battle and some fun interactions to take place before both ships join forces against Dr. Soren. This also would have potentially allowed the producers to avoid killing off Kirk and served as an actual passing of the torch between the two generations rather than the more private and subdued team-up between the two Captains, which arguably comes at the cost of interesting sub-plots and actions for most of the Enterprise-D crew. Instead of this, or something actually exciting and engaging, we get a largely mediocre and forgettable Star Trek film that completely fumbles the potential of its premise and doesn’t really give us any interesting space action to compensate. While its ruminations of family, loss, and obsession are interesting, and it offers significant character development for Picard and Data, there’s ultimately very little here to really make much of an impact. Thankfully, the follow-up would make up for this with some intense action sequences and equally poignant moments, but this only serves to highlight how disappointing the Next Generation’s debut feature was not just for those characters but also as a swansong for Captain Kirk.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Star Trek Generations? Where do you rank it against the other Next Generation and Star Trek films? Were you also disappointed by Kirk’s anti-climatic death and the mediocre meeting of him and Picard? What did you think to Dr. Soren and his obsessive mania? Were you a fan of Data’s struggle with his newofund emotions, and what did you think to the destruction of the Enterprise-D? Would you like to see another go-around for the Next Generation crew or do you prefer to see new, unique takes on the franchise? How are you celebrating Captain Picard Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Star Trek Generations, or Star Trek in general, share them below or drop a comment on my social media.