Movie Night [Judgment Day]: Terminator: Genysis


“Three billion human lives ended on August 29th, 1997. The survivors of the nuclear fire called the war Judgment Day. They lived only to face a new nightmare: the war against the machines”.


Released: 21 May 2009
Director: Alan Taylor
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Budget: $155 to 158 million
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Emilia Clarke, Jai Courtney, Jason Clarke, and J. K. Simmons

The Plot:
After being saved and raised by a benevolent T-800 (Schwarzenegger), stoic Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke) reluctantly teams with her would-be protector, Kyle Reese (Courtney), to prevent the creation of Genysis, an operating system destined to wipe out humanity as Skynet.

The Background:
Although The Terminator (Cameron, 1984) was an unexpected financial hit, Terminator 2: Judgment Day (ibid, 1991) was a blockbuster success that is largely regarded as one of the greatest movie sequels ever made. Despite its definitive ending, the franchise made an unexpected return with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (Mostow 2003), a near-universal critical flop. However, Terminator 3’s surprising box office meant the franchise was still viable, leading to new creatives to step in with a prequel film. Unfortunately, Terminator Salvation’s (McG, 2009) dismal box office and onslaught of unfair reviews derailed plans for sequels as much as another slew of legal issues. As the franchise rights did the rounds, plans for a 3D animated film fell apart and pitches to return star Arnold Schwarzenegger to the franchise were raised, ultimately resulting in Megan Ellison and Annapurna Pictures consulting with Terminator creator James Cameron with how to incorporate an aging T-800 into a new film. With Paramount Pictures onboard to distribute the film, Alan Taylor signed on to direct out of his love for the franchise and desire to correct its mistakes. Largely inspired by the first two films, the filmmakers opted for a new spin on the established lore with an older T-800 and a story hoped to be the first of a new trilogy. Jai Courtney beat Boyd Holbrook and Tom Hardy for his leading role and Emilia Clarke was chosen over Brie Larson and Tatiana Maslany, with both training extensively for their roles. The production team convinced Nike to reproduce the Vandal sneakers from the first movie, the visual effects teams toiled for hours to render the new nanotechnology effects, and the film painstakingly recreated sequences from The Terminator, digitally recreating Schwarzenegger’s youthful visage so he could fight himself. Though its box office (over $440 million) was impressive, Terminator: Genysis underperformed and was largely mauled by critics who attacked its redundant plot, shallow nostalgia bait, and unimaginative CGI. While some reviews and even Cameron praised the film, the latter later rescinded this statement and Emilia Clarke expressed relief that the planned sequels fell through. Despite this, the franchise was revived again in 2019, only to produce an even more maligned critical and commercial flop.

The Review:
Although Terminator: Genysis could’ve easily opened a little differently, skipping the scene of young Kyle Reese (Bryant Prince) meeting legendary resistance leader John Connor (Jason Clarke) and thus implying that Terminator Salvation is still canon, it offers yet another alternative version of the Future War that initially presents itself as the true version of events before the first Terminator, before John was retroactively given a wife and such. While I’m disappointed to see Salvation swept away, I do enjoy seeing scenes set in the Future War, especially as I’ve long believed the Terminator franchise would’ve been better served focusing on this time period for a series of prequels. Genysis goes a step further by giving the resistance fighters their phased plasma rifles and accurately recreating the bleak, war-torn future depicted by Cameron. Like in Salvation, John is seen by many as a prophet since his unique insight into Skynet leads humanity to many victories, including a final two-pronged campaign against the Skynet system core and a hidden bunker in the remains of San Francisco. Since Reese is both John’s right-hand man and a good friend, Kyle naturally joins the latter assault, amazed by John’s seeming clairvoyance as Skynet is finally defeated and the Resistance discovers their time displacement equipment. These scenes remind me of the Terminator 2 novelisation from back in the day and essentially show how Reese volunteered to pursue the T-800 (Brett Azar/Schwarzenegger) back to 1984. This also gives the most detailed depiction of the time travel device and how it works, and emphasises the close bond between John and Reese, whom the leader kept close since the soldier is destined to be his father.

Loyal soldier Kyle Reese travels back in time to find forthright Sarah in little need of protection.

Reese gladly volunteers to protect Sarah not just because he’s John’s most loyal soldier, but also because he’s developed a love for her after being gifted a photograph and told stories about her. Unfortunately for Reese, things immediately go awry as John is attacked by the T-5000 (Matthew Smith), an avatar of Skynet, and Kyle’s deposited in a version of the past that seems very similar but is strikingly different from the first film. For one thing, Sarah isn’t some naïve, terrified waitress and is instead closer to her Terminator 2 counterpart, being proficient with guns, knowledgeable about Terminators, and fully aware of her fate. Reese is confused by this, and by their roles being reversed as Sarah is the one saving him from a liquid metal T-1000 (Byung-Hun Lee) sent back to kill him. Already overwhelmed by this and even more out of his depth than his original counterpart, Reese also struggles with an influx off new memories from a childhood he never had in which he’s enamoured by Sarah and memorising a warning about Genysis being the progenitor of Skynet. Reese’s confusion is only compounded by Sarah’s companion and protector, “Pops”, a reprogrammed T-800 that has acted as her guardian since she was a child. Naturally distrustful of the machine, Reese first leaps to destroy it and then develops a fun rivalry with Pops where they compete for Sarah’s affection and to see which is the more efficient protector. Reese is further perplexed to find Sarah is cold and almost dismissive of him, keeping him at arm’s length as she knows he’s destined to die after falling in love with her. This creates a rift between them, one compounded by her demanding nature and lack of social skills, that slowly mends as they fight and spend time together since she can’t deny her attraction to him despite being frustrated by her fate seemingly being predetermined.

Raised by her “Pops”, Sarah’s reluctant to fall for Kyle lest his destiny play out as intended.

I really liked Emilia Clarke’s work as Sarah here. She does a great job of embodying elements of Linda Hamilton’s performances from the first two films while bringing something new to the table in her relationship with Pops. Sarah is incredibly affection towards her guardian, though frustrated by him dictating her life and pushing her towards a destiny she hopes to avoid. While I find Jai Courtney to be quite wooden and his muscular stature is at odds with Michael Biehn’s more “Everyman” look, I dug Kyle’s chemistry with Sarah and the rivalry between him and Pops, which eventually sees the two come to a mutual respect as they both care about Sarah. Still, Reese is initially hesitant to trust Pops and his plan to bump them forward to 2014, and at Sarah’s refusal to follow his lead. This sees them run afoul of the local cops, unwittingly leading police detective O’Brien (Simmons) to descend into obsession and alcoholism after encountering them in the past. Though his assistance is ultimately not required as Pops constantly pulls the two out of the fire, it provides a background for Reese and Sarah to work out their issues, especially after Kyle learns of his true parentage. The two are further divided when John inexplicably arrives in the past and is revealed to have been forcibly transformed into a T-3000. While Reese is determined to try and reason with John, to bring out his personality and have him fight back against what he sees as invasive programming, Sarah is callous and aggressive towards John, rightfully surmising that her son no longer exists and that he’s been reconfigured into Skynet’s newest creation. The fact that Pops verifies this, explaining that the T-3000 is simply mimicking John’s personality and manipulating them into dropping their guard, Reese naturally pushes back. But even he’s forced to admit that his friend and mentor is gone and to take up arms against him to save Sarah and prevent a cataclysmic future.

More a father figure than ever, Pops struggles to match up against the advanced T-3000.

Once again, the T-800 returns as a protector, now aged since he’s been protecting Sarah since she was a girl (Willa Taylor). Although Pops has no memory of where he came from or who sent him, his mission to protect Sarah and ensure the survival of humanity (either by destroying Skynet or having her “mate” with Reese) is clear. Unlike Terminator 3, where the T-850 was an “obsolete design”, Pops regularly asserts that he’s “old, not obsolete” and constantly asserts himself to keep Sarah safe and belittle Reese, either by overpowering him or openly mocking him. Unlike his predecessors. Pops has developed a stunted paternal relationship with Sarah where he’s constantly giving her life lessons and acts as her father, while still remaining somewhat stoic to deliver some funny moments. Notably, Pops is the most loquacious of his predecessors, with Genysis lumbering poor Arnold with lengthy exposition regarding the design and function of the time displacement equipment, theories on conflicting and overlapping timelines, and other technical jargon. Sarah’s efforts to teach Pops to blend in are about as successful as those in Terminator 2, leading to Pops having a dry sense of humour and being as awkward in social situations as she is. Pops ages further when he takes the “long way” to 2014, his body noticeably malfunctioning as he struggles to function. Despite his assertions and how well-armed the group is, Pops is no match for the T-3000, who’s essentially a more powerful T-3000. John can shapeshift and form knives and stabbing weapons and instantly heal from all wounds thanks to nanotechnology, though his most potent weapon is his words as he spitefully uses John’s knowledge and visage against Reese and Sarah. John masquerades as a robotics genius specifically to manipulate Miles and Danny Dyson (Courtney B. Vance and Dayo Okeniyi) into funding and creating the Genysis operating system, an artificial intelligence that John protects and fosters so that it can rapidly evolve into Skynet and kick-start the machine uprising.

The Nitty-Gritty:
While I’ve never found the time travel elements of the Terminator franchise to be that confusing, Genysis goes out of its way to muddy the waters more than any film before it. You might not like the retcons of Terminator 3, but at least that stuck to a fairly linear timeline. Here, we see for the first time that the franchise is explicitly made up of multiple timelines and alternative pasts and futures, with the opening sequence appearing as a prologue to The Terminator and then tossing in the T-5000 to shake things up. I loved the idea of revisiting the original film but with elements of Terminator 2 spliced in, but this is largely abandoned once the group jumps to 2014 and there’s a massive question mark hanging over Pops. He has no memory of who sent him back and even John seems confused by his presence, referring to him as a “relic of a deleted timeline”, with the film simply stating that someone sent the T-800 back to ensure Sarah’s survival. This is all clearly sequel bait, as indicated by the post-credits scene showing Skynet survived the group’s assault on the Cyberdyne building, that’s was sadly never paid off as I’d love to know what the deal with Pops and the T-5000 was. Genysis tackles similar themes to the previous movies regarding fate and predestination, with Sarah frustrated that her life is predetermined, Reese struggling to comprehend how the past has changed, and Skynet’s creation being bumped even further forward. Once again, it seems Judgment Day is inevitable as the changes to the timeline simply see Skynet assume a new form, a vague operation system called Genysis, though this time its creation is explicitly linked to the future since Genysis only comes about when John comes back to invent it. These competing timelines are largely embodied through Reese’s new memories, which co-exist alongside his original memories (though they’re noticeably fragmented compared to his memories of the Future War) and this new timeline seemingly solidifies as the “prime” timeline by the film’s end.

The film’s at its best when it’s relying on nostalgia, though this isn’t enough to sustain it.

Although Terminator: Genysis suffers from an overabundance of CGI (and some wonky CGI, at that), it initially makes a decent impression by recreating the dismal, war-torn future and finally bringing the time displacement facility to life. I also really enjoyed how the film recreates key moments from The Terminator, such as Reese being chased by the cops and the T-800 accosting some punks. It’s obviously toned down from the original and given a new spin as Reese tangles with a T-1000 and the T-800 is immediately attacked by Pops and Sarah, who put it down with a high-powered round. The action is pretty frantic and exciting in these sequences as a confused Reese struggles to comprehend the T-1000’s capabilities, which see it change appearance, spawn blades, and even resurrect the T-800. The T-800’s endoskeleton attacks in impressive fashion, finally moving with a danger and grace befitting the machine but lacks the tangible charm of a physical prop. Conversely, I felt the T-1000 was wasted here as it’s neutralised pretty quickly and effectively by a fun acid trap. I think I would’ve liked to see this new spin on the first two films carried through, with the T-1000 perhaps masquerading as John and being the primary antagonist throughout the film as the T-3000 doesn’t offer much more in terms of its abilities, save for a black metal endoskeleton that’s both horrific and poorly rendered. There are some fun action sequences here, however, such as a chase across the Golden Gate Bridge that sees a school bus be impressively flipped (to the extend I question how Reese, especially, survived). There’s also a great helicopter chase where our heroes try to keep John from reaching the Cyberdyne building, resulting in Pops diving onto John’s helicopter. However, Terminator: Genysis is sadly very tame and bloodless; even shots of bare asses are obscured and deaths are limited to simple stabbings and shootings. When the T-800s are damaged, their endoskeletons appear through cleanly ripped flesh rather than being splattered with blood, with gore completely absent when Pop’s arm is melted to the machinery by an acid spray. Though outmatched against the T-3000, the characters rig up a portable magnet and subdue the machine with high-powered magnetic devices, but John simply recovers time and again and the characters continually use useless small arms fire rather than wielding grenade launchers or high-powered shotguns.

Though the day is saved and Pops is upgraded, there’s a lingering concern over the uncertain future…

Though reeling from John’s betrayal (well, “corruption” is probably a better word), Reese eventually gets onboard with a plan to destroy the T-3000 and kill Skynet before its born. Thanks to Pops working on the Cyberdyne building, the group have all the intel and access they need to infiltrate the complex and plant explosives, only to find the Genysis A.I. rapidly aging and the T-3000 hot on their tails. Interestingly, both the T-3000 and Skynet make valid points about humans always destroying what they don’t understand, yet both are determined to wipe out humanity so there’s no hint towards a peace between the two. While the finale is essentially a more action-packed and over the top recreation of Terminator 2’s Cyberdyne destruction sequence, it does give us a bit more robot-on-robot action as Pops throws himself into battle with the T-3000. Though Pops was evenly matched against the T-800 and still came up short due to being older, and was largely outclassed against the T-1000, he had help both times and gets it again in this fight, with Sarah and Reese chipping in to distract and delay John long enough to Pops to attempt a self-sacrifice. Pops throws himself and the T-3000 into a prototype time displacement chamber, the gravitational forces ripping John apart and destroying him right before their explosives take out the building. Luckily for Pops, he’s thrown into a vat of mimetic polyalloy, upgrading him to a T-1000 so he can reunite with Sarah and begrudgingly offer kudos to Reese. Though still confused about the lingering questions regarding the future and the timeline Pops came from, Sarah finally feels free from the burden of her destiny and embraces her feelings for Kyle, the three forming a dysfunctional family unit as they face an unknown future together. To close the loop, they visit young Kyle (who Sarah ran into while escaping police custody) and implant the memories Reese has been seeing throughout the film, ensuring events play out as expected in this new timeline. However, they’re unaware that, despite their efforts, Skynet still exists as a threat in a deeper bunker…

The Summary:
I remember being quite excited for Terminator: Genysis back in the day. The film’s marketing and first half hour or so was all cleverly geared towards nostalgia, revisiting the first movie, splicing in the T-1000, and promising an alternate take on The Terminator. While this is still technically true by the end, I think Terminator: Genysis suffered a bit from having an unnecessarily complicated script and setting up hints towards sequels that never happened. While I’m no fan of Jai Courtney, I didn’t mind him here. He’s not the Kyle Reese we grew up with, but he works as an alternative version of Kyle, one perhaps better trained and prepared for his mission. He had decent chemistry with Emilia Clarke, who sizzled and impressed as Sarah. She captured the romantic elements of the character and married them with her no-nonsense, mercenary attitude from Terminator 2 while also being a little bratty and lamenting her destiny. Arnold Schwarzenegger is given a lot more to do here beyond looking like an Adonis; he has a lot of technical jargon to exposit while also presenting the T-800 as a true father figure. I enjoyed Pops’ rivalry with Reese and his relationship with Sarah, which felt like an evolution of his Terminator 2 counterpart, and how the film emphasised that the T-800 is still a force to be reckoned with despite Skynet’s superior models. For me, Genysis is let down by retreading the same ground as Terminator 2 but with a new, comparatively lazier A.I., wasting Matt Smith, and focusing on Jason Clarke as the main antagonist. While I like the twist that John was corrupted and this somewhat recalls the proposed ending for Terminator Salvation, I didn’t buy Jason Clarke as a threat and I would’ve much preferred seeing Byung-Hun Lee or Matt Smith take the lead as a T-1000…or had John arrive in the past to help his family. Ultimately, while Terminator: Genysis is better, overall, than Terminator 3 and has a lot of appeal in its nostalgic recreations of the first two movies, I would’ve preferred a direct sequel to Salvation and your nostalgia will be better satisfied by simply re-watching the first two movies.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What did you think to Terminator: Genysis? Were you also annoyed that it erased Salvation from the timeline? What did you think to Jai Courtney’s performance as Kyle Reese and Emilia Clarke’s version of Sarah Connor? Did you enjoy seeing the T-800 as an overprotective father or did you find his portrayal a bit cheesy? Where do you think Pops came from and were you disappoint that the cliff-hanger was never resolved? Did you like the twist that John was a Terminator or do you agree that this was poorly executed? How are you celebrating Judgement Day today? Whatever you think about Terminator: Genysis, and the Terminator franchise, leave a reply below and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more Terminator reviews.

Movie Night [Spidey Month]: The Amazing Spider-Man 2


Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the meaning of power and responsibility in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in cartoons, movies, videogames, and countless comic books. To coincide with his day of celebration, I’m dedicating every Monday of August to everyone’s favourite web-head!


Released: 2 May 2014
Director: Marc Webb
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $200 to 293 million
Stars: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Dane DeHaan, and Sally Field

The Plot:
Already struggling to keep his love Gwen Stacy (Stone) safe from his double life, Peter Parker/Spider-Man’s (Garfield) troubles are compounded when downtrodden electrical engineer Maxwell “Max” Dillon (Foxx) is transformed into pure electricity!

The Background:
Following his debut issue becoming a best selling title for Marvel Comics, Spider-Man became their flagship character and appeared in numerous videogames, cartoons, and even a live-action series. Despite script and legal issues infamously delaying Spidey’s big-screen debut, Sam Raimi’s one-two punch of Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002) and Spider-Man 2 (ibid, 2004) gave us not only critical and commercial hits but also one of the greatest superhero movies ever made, and even the divisive Spider-Man 3 (ibid, 2007) was a huge commercial success. Although Raimi’s plans for a sequel were scrapped in favour of a reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man (Webb, 2012) somewhat reinvented Spider-Man to tell an exciting, if familiar, new story. Its $758.7 million worldwide gross also meant it did well enough for Marc Webb to return for a sequel. The cast also returned, Spidey got a revamped costume, and Sony Pictures Imageworks outdid themselves with an impressive and complex action sequence in Times Square. Yet, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 was plagued by a troubled production that saw an entire character excised and a bloated script. As part of their ongoing plan for multiple Spider-Man spin-offs, Sony insisted on shoe-horning in as many Easter Eggs and as much sequel bait as possible, ignoring Marvel Cinematic Universe head honcho Kevin Feige’s notes and alienating many fans. The film grossed the least of any Spider-Man movie to date and has been ridiculed by critics for years. They tore apart the questionable reimagining of classic Spidey villain Electro, decried the nonsensical side plots, and lamented the overstuffed narrative. Still, Garfield continued to be praised in the lead role, the tragic ending was seen as a highlight, and both Garfield and co-star Jamie Foxx reprised and redeemed their roles about ten years later for the multiversal adventure Spider-Man: No Way Home (Watts, 2021).

The Review:
In a first for Spider-Man’s big-screen outings, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 skips the usual title sequence and jumps straight into expanding upon the fate of Peter’s parents, Doctor Richard Parker (Campbell Scott) and his wife, Mary (Embeth Davidtz). It’s revealed that Richard packed himself and his wife up and dropped young Peter (Max Charles) with his doting aunt, May Parker (Field), after being threatened by his former financial backer and partner, Norman Osborn (Chris Cooper). Although Doctor Curtis “Curt” Connors (Rhys Ifans) is briefly mentioned a few times, he’s missing from these extended flashbacks, which instead focus on Richard and Norman splicing human DNA with spiders so their incredible ability to “self-heal” will not only cure Norman of his terminal, genetic illness (“Retroviral Hyperplasia”), but also help those suffering from life-threatening diseases. Unfortunately, the illness not only deformed and agonised Norman, it also drove him to desperation, leading to him making shady deals with military backers. When Richard discovered how corrupt Norman and Oscorp had become, he sought to expose his wrongdoings and went on the run for Peter’s safety. It’s not clear why Oscorp wouldn’t (and apparently never thought to) target Peter at May’s and the film spends more time focusing on a tense and horrific mid-air confrontation between Richard and an Oscorp assassin (Demián Bichir) that leaves both Parkers dead. Still, Richard and Mary’s shady past and their connection to Oscorp is fed to us (and Peter) through breadcrumbs, revealing that Richard deeply regretted his work being perverted and secretly sought to keep Norman from using his research by infusing the genetically engineered spiders with his DNA, somewhat attributing Peter’s spider powers to his father. The loss of his parents still weighs heavily on Peter, who laments their absence at his graduation as much as his beloved Uncle Ben’s (Martin Sheen) and who confesses to old friend Harry Osborn (DeHaan) that he actively avoids thinking about his parents. When his curiosity leads him to investigate his father’s satchel, Peter seeks to discover more about his late father, leading to a sweet moment between him and May where she chastises his father and vehemently asserts her place as Peter’s mother. Indeed, Peter and May’s relationship continues to be a highlight, with her despairing of her nephew’s strange behaviour and absences but still showing him nothing but love and affection.

Peter’s haunted by the previous film and forced to keep Gwen at arm’s length to protect her.

Unfortunately, despite still revelling in his abilities as Spider-Man and enjoying his spark-filled relationship with the gorgeous Gwen Stacy, Peter is haunted by Gwen’s father, Captain George Stacy (Denis Leary), whose grim visage serves as a reminder of his promise to keep Gwen safe. Though he loves Gwen dearly and the two still have amazing screen chemistry, Peter’s burdened by guilt, agonised at the thought that he could endanger her. Although Gwen loves Peter and is willing to take the risk, she ultimately ends their relationship when she becomes sick of his flip-flopping. Heartbroken, Peter throws himself into his antics as Spider-Man, dividing public opinion as the Daily Bugle’s smear campaign paints Spider-Man as a menace despite many praising him. Still, try as he might, Peter can’t keep himself away from Gwen and watches over her in a way that could be creepy but comes across as sad and sweet. While Spider-Man saves lives, Gwen faces a dilemma when she’s offered a prestigious scholarship in London, one she’s excited to take despite her unresolved feelings for Peter. Peter’s stunned and equally torn between his love for her and wanting the best for her, meaning he doesn’t react well upon learning of her news and embarrasses Gwen prior to her interview for the scholarship. Ultimately, Gwen chooses to go, believing that’s better for them both, compelling Peter to finally confess (in elaborate fashion) his true feelings, and even his willingness to go to London with her. As much as I love Andrew and Emma’s onscreen banter and chemistry (their escape from Oscorp was a particular highlight), I do think the film suffers a bit from Peter immediately reneging on his promise at the end of the last film. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 may have benefitted from Peter and Gwen’s relationship being frosty and unresolved from the start to focus more on how Peter has to choose a difficult path since he doesn’t want to risk endangering or losing someone he loves, though this would make the first half of the film too similar to Spider-Man 2.

When Peter and Spidey refuse to help him, a desperate Harry turns to Electro.

Following Norman Osborn’s death, Peter’s compelled to reconnect with Harry Osborn, a hitherto-unknown childhood friend who was sent to boarding school at eleven and spent most of the intervening years travelling the world and resenting his father for sending him away. Thus, Harry is spiteful and dismissive of his father, and rightfully so as Norman spends his final hours spitting insults at his son and effectively cursing him with the same degenerative illness. In the aftermath, Harry (…somehow…) assumes control of Oscorp, riling up Vice President Donald Menken (Colm Feore) and revelling in flaunting his newfound power, appointing Norman’s secretary, Felicia Hardy (Felicity Jones), as his second-in-command. Though delighted to reunite with Peter, Harry’s clearly maladjusted and his erratic behaviour only spirals as his disease takes greater hold, giving him the shakes and strange lesions (despite Norman living many years with the illness). Desperate for a cure, Harry accesses Oscorp’s secure files and believes the answer lies in Spider-Man’s blood, begging and even offering to pay the web-slinger for a sample, only to be incensed when Spidey refuses out of fear for Harry’s safety. This, and Menken’s machinations, sends Harry over the edge and leads to him making a deal with Electro to access Oscorp’s secret basement of origins special projects laboratory, where he finds the means to first cure himself and then avenge himself against those who’ve wronged him. Overall, I liked DeHann’s depiction of Harry. He was a bit sullener and more vindictive and flaunted his authority compared to James Franco, and he presented an interesting dilemma for Peter, who wanted to help his friend but was worried about killing him or turning him into a monster like the Lizard. Harry’s vendetta against Spider-Man is a touch rushed and I think it would’ve been better for him to put two and two together when he first approached Peter for help, just to put a further spin on their relationship. It also would’ve benefited to save Harry’s descent into manic Green Goblin mode for a third film.

Spidey super fan Max is driven to rage and insanity upon becoming powerful enough to be noticed.

Rather than being a simple electrical engineer who turns to a crime after being zapped by lightning, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 recasts Electro as a hopeless outcast who’s socially awkward and bumbling. Pushed around and ignored by everyone, from pedestrians to his boss, Alistair Smythe (B. J. Novak), Max is a sad, worthless nobody who becomes enamoured by Spider-Man after Spidey saves his life and offers him encouragement. This leads to Max imagining  conversations between the two and describing the webslinger as his best friend since he was the first person to “see” and “need” him. This later extends to Gwen, who also shows kindness to Max where everyone else treats him like shit, with Smythe forcing him to fix a maintenance issue (on his birthday, no less!) and leading to Max falling into a vat of genetically engineered eels. These not only fix Max’s crooked teeth but also transform him into Electro, a man of first partial and then almost pure electricity, allowing him to see, sense, and control electrical currents. The experience leaves him disoriented, confused, and enraged, leading to him first accidentally and then purposely endangering others when cops fire at him, Spidey hesitates to remember him, and the newfound voices in his head compel him to lash out. Although subdued, Electro is tortured by the sadistic and overly theatrical Doctor Ashley Kafka (Marton Csokas), though Max invites the experience to test his power and is fuelled by the pain to accept Harry’s offer for a partnership and avenge himself on his captors. Once freed, Electro assumes a more menacing form and demeanour, having now mastered his powers to ensnare and kill with a flick of his hands and desperate not only to destroy Spider-Man after he “betrayed” him, but also to plunge the city into darkness so they can feel his pain. Although somewhat similar to the sympathetic angle applied to some of his predecessors in Raimi’s films (and a far more well-rounded character than the comic Electro, who was just a crook with powers who rarely reached his full potential), I do have an issue with depicted Max as the stereotypical outcast “geek”. It rarely works well and seems a waste of Jamie Foxx’s acting prowess, though I did like Electro’s obsession with being “seen” and his turn towards a crueller and more malicious demeanour after aligning with Harry.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 benefits from a much more distinctive score, which is less a rehash of Danny Elfman’s work and more a stirring overture for the titular hero. Electro’s theme was particularly memorable; I loved how it incorporated the voices in Max’s head fuelling his rage. However, while the film treads less of the same ground as Raimi’s films compared to its predecessor, it does rehash some of the same beats concerning Richard and Mary from The Amazing Spider-Man. Sure, we learn a bit more about Richard’s relationship with Norman and that he had a weird subway lab that somehow still works after nearly fifteen years, but it still feels like the filmmakers are unsure of the endgame to this sub-plot (though, thankfully, they excised the nonsensical reveal that Richard was still alive, which would’ve tipped this already bloated plot into overdrive). The Amazing Spider-Man 2 touches upon themes of choices, not letting the past define you, and living each day rather than taking things for granted. Although Peter struggles with all of this, Gwen is all for it; her valedictorian speech is all about it and she urges Peter to stop letting her father’s death hold him back. Gwen’s adamant that they should embrace what they have, regardless of her father or the risk, and insists that she makes her own choices, even if it means she’s in danger. While there is a lot happening in the Amazing Spider-Man 2, I don’t think it’s not as badly paced as some would say. As much as I hate to say it, they made the right choice to cut Shailene Woodley as I’m not sure how she would’ve factored into the plot, though it was weird to include Felicia when she was just a secretary rather than a cat burglar. I also think it might’ve been better to end the story on a cliffhanger concerning Harry, not just because the finale with his Green Goblin is a bit rushed but also because we’d seen the Green Goblin done to death and I could’ve done without retreading that narrative (even if it was a little different here).

Despite some great effects and sequences, the film is bloated with characters and sub-plots.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2’s costume is, for my money, the best and most comic accurate depiction we’ve ever seen (though I miss the distinctiveness of the one from the last film). Harry’s final Green Goblin form is also more monstrous and closer to the comics, though still a bit lacking (and rushed) and we were denied a truly gruesome transformation sequence. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 ups the focus on action thanks to not having to waste an hour of its runtime redoing Spidey’s origin, giving us a handful of montages and fun action sequences that continue to showcase why Andrew Garfield is the best Spider-Man. There’s more emphasis on slow-mo sequences to show how Spider-Man reacts to danger and thinks about saving people. It’s used to great effect in the Times Square sequence, giving us a fantastic depiction of Spidey’s speed and strength alongside his compassionate nature as he first tries to appeal to Max’s reason. Electro is depicted as an unpredictable threat, especially when he first emerges since his powers are unstable. While it’s disappointing that he doesn’t resemble his mainstream comic counterpart, and that Max didn’t take on aspects of this design after being freed by Harry, Electro is very to his Ultimate comics counterpart and is depicted as both incredibly powerful and emotionally unstable. Electro can fly, dissolve bullets, and absorb and emit electricity, so Peter has to science up solutions to counteract and ultimately overload Electro’s powers. Although the first-person sequences are gone, Spider-Man’s web-slinging and Electro’s bolts all popped off the screen when viewed in 3D and I enjoyed the opening sequence where Spidey toys with the crazed Aleksei Sytsevich (Paul Giamatti). While Spidey maybe mocks the brutish mafia thug a bit too much and endangers a few lives, this was a great showcase of how Peter’s embraced his role as Spider-Man, something reinforced in the finale when Aleksei returns in a mechanised rhino suit…only for the film to end right before we get to see the fight! I really wish we’d gotten at least an animated rendition of Spidey’s battle with the Rhino in the credits as I loved the lumbering mech and its many weapons, and Giamatti’s scenery-chewing performance as Aleksei, though his return probably should’ve been left for a third film.

Harry’s revenge leaves Peter heartbroken, though sadly immune from future threats…

Desperate to avoid his father’s fate, Harry begs first Peter and then Spider-Man for help and is enraged when he’s denied, believing Spidey is a fraud despite him reasonably worrying about the effect his blood would have on the emotional Osborn. After being double-crossed by Menken, Harry begs Max to help him access Oscorp’s hidden bunker, where he forces Menken to inject him with a serum derived from Richard’s spiders, believing it to be a “cure”, only to be horrifically mutated as it both accelerates his condition and further alters him. Luckily, a convenient “healing” battlesuit keeps Harry from dying but the whole ordeal drives him as batty as Max, whose reward for helping is the freedom to absorb power from the electrical grid he created and was denied credit for to plunge the city into darkness and strike back at everyone who ignored him and idolised Spider-Man. Peter and Gwen’s reconciliation is interrupted by Electro’s revenge and Gwen insists on helping Spider-Man, putting herself in danger despite his protests. Spidey holds off Electro, done trying to reason with him, and risks his life grounding the misguided villain so Gwen can overload and seemingly destroy Electro. Their victory is short-lived, however, as the now demonic Harry swoops in on an Oscorp glider looking for revenge, figures out that Peter is Spider-Man, and spitefully threatens Gwen. This leads to a short and sadly rushed (but also brutal fight) between Spider-Man and the cackling Green Goblin that ultimately ends with Harry being knocked out and Gwen plummeting down a bell tower. Despite Peter’s best efforts and a heart wrenching image of him (and his webbing) reaching for her in freefall, Gwen suffers a similar (but far more horrific) fatal fall and Peter is left devastated. So much so that he spends five months so stricken by grief than he constantly visits Gwen’s graves and denounces Spide-Man. However, Peter suits up once more after a pep talk from Aunt May, reviewing Gwen’s speech about embracing life, and to confront the Rhino. Oh, and that mysterious gentleman (Michael Massee) also colludes with the incarcerated Harry to recruit a few individuals to use Oscorp’s secret projects to destroy Spider-Man.

The Summary:
I’ve always quite liked The Amazing Spider-Man 2. I remember liking it more than the first film when I first saw it and was glad to see it mostly leaning into new territory, though I could’ve done without the retread of the Osborn/Green Goblin plot. Still, the suit was fantastic and Andrew Garfield cemented his status as the best live-action Spider-Man in this film, still showcasing the wit, brains, and charisma I associate with the character. His chemistry with Emma Stone remains a highlight, though it does feel like the filmmakers walked back the ending of the last film after rushing to the rekindling of their romance. While I’m not a fan of the changes made to Electro’s personality, he grew on me as the film progressed, and I liked how he was desperate to be acknowledged and became obsessed with proving his worth and power. Dane DeHaan was a great Harry Osborn, though it’s weird that his illness is so advanced when it took decades for Norman to die, and his characterisation is a bit all over the place at times. While it’s utterly heartbreaking to witness Gwen’s death and Andrew sells it so well, I do think the Green Goblin, Rhino, and Gwen’s death should’ve been saved for a third film to devote the proper amount of screentime to those plots rather than rushing through them right at the end. There’s a lot happening in The Amazing Spider-Man 2 thanks to Sony’s obsession with bringing the Sinister Six to life and it definitely would’ve benefitted from a few more sub-plots being trimmed, but I still think it’s better than most people think. The exploration of guilt and grief is great, the effects and action are exhilarating, and it delivers a hell of a gut punch at the end, ultimately resulting in a film that’s still pretty decent despite some flaws.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you agree that The Amazing Spider-Man 2 isn’t as bad as its reputation? What did you think to Electro’s depiction and were you disappointed he didn’t resemble his classic look? Were you happy to see Peter don a more familiar suit? What did you think to the drama between him and Gwen and Harry’s depiction? Do you agree that there’s too much happening in the film? Would you have liked to see a third entry for these characters? How are you celebrating the wall-crawler this month? Whatever you think about The Amazing Spider-Man 2, leave a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Spider-Man reviews.

Movie Night [K-Month]: Kong: Skull Island


In the absolutely bonkers science-fiction film Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), the monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity on 10th August 2013, which was subsequently branded “K-DAY”. To celebrate this event, and giant monster movies, I dedicated every Sunday in August to one of cinema’s most prolific monsters: King Kong!


Released: 10 March 2017
Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget: $185 million
Stars: Tom Hiddleston, Brie Larson, Samuel L. Jackson, Terry Notary/Toby Kebbell, John Goodman, and John C. Reilly

The Plot:
Hired by the super-secretive Monarch, ex-British Special Air Service (S.A.S.) Captain Joseph Conrad (Hiddleston) and photographer Mason Weaver (Larson) accompany an Army unit to the mysterious Skull Island, where Lieutenant Colonel Preston Packard (Jackson) becomes obsessed with challenging the rule of the island’s guardian, Kong (Notary/Kebbell).

The Background:
Amazingly, former World War I aviator turned filmmaker Merian C. Cooper’s vision of a giant gorilla climbing the Empire State Building first appeared over 100 years ago, resulting in one of the most influential movies ever made, However, King Kong (Cooper and Schoedsack, 1933) was followed by a comedic sequel, a questionableSuitmation” film that ended Toho’s short stint with the character, and remakes ranging from ambitious to big-budget showcases. Somewhere in there, the mighty Kong even clashed with Godzilla in a profitable (if polarising) affair, and took a giant step towards renewing this rivalry as part of Legendary’s “MonsterVerse” following the critical and commercial success of Godzilla (Edwards, 2014). Initially, Adam Wingard and Guillermo del Toro were tapped to direct a sequel to Peter Jackson’s 2005 remake before the project was reconfigured into a MonsterVerse film. Writers Max Borenstein and John Gatins specifically avoided the traditional King Kong narrative in favour of a wartime setting inspired by Apocalypse Now (Coppola, 1979). Visual effects supervisor Stephen Rosenbaum and conceptual artist Carlos Huante redesigned Kong to return to his roots and act as a cantankerous, but benevolent, protector, and turned to anime to design Skull Island’s other monstrous inhabitants. After Tom Hiddleston took the lead role, John C. Reilly joined the project after scheduling conflicts saw Michael Keaton drop out and Toby Kebbell pulled double duty by providing motion capture for Kong’s facial expressions. Accompanied by a tie-in comic book designed to flesh out Kong’s backstory, Kong: Skull Island was a smash hit at the box office and with critics, who praised it as a fun, action-packed adventure, though many of the performances were criticised. Although a spin-off and direct sequel never materialised, the MonsterVerse Kong went on to co-star with Godzilla in some big, if mindless, blockbuster team ups.

The Review:
Set in 1973, amidst the backdrop of the end of America’s disastrous campaign into Vietnam, Kong: Skull Island tells a very different King Kong story, one not about the giant ape’s obsession with a pretty girl and one greedy opportunists attempt to profit off his stature. Instead, Kong: Skull Island is more of a war movie, taking very obvious inspiration from Apocalypse Now for many shots, characters, and the depiction of the United States military. At first, the story is framed as a scientific expedition, spearheaded by the eccentric William “Bill” Randa (Goodman), a former World War I sailor whose life was changed when he was left the sole survivor following an attack on his vessel by a titanic creature. Randa took this experience with him throughout his career at Monarch, a government research team created specifically to track and investigate such “Titans”, snapping up geologist Houston Brooks (Corey Hawkins) after he wrote a paper suggesting the presence of a “Hollow Earth” where such monsters dwell. However, with Monarch’s funding at risk following the end of the Vietnam War, Randa must beg Senator Al Willis (Richard Jenkins) to let them join an expedition to a recently discovered, uncharted island in hopes of finding precious minerals, medicines, and other notable discoveries before those pesky Russkies. Amazingly, Randa gets his wish, and his demand for a military escort, and enthusiastically braves Skull Island’s torrential, perpetual storm to finally feel vindicated after years of being branded a crackpot for his wild theories regarding Titans and the lost, prehistoric island. This means that the mission is less a geological, scientific voyage and more a personal vendetta for Randa, who hopes to both warn and inform the world that monsters exist by bringing back irrefutable proof. Yet, even he realises the dangers of Skull Island and the folly of man trying to battle against its monstrous inhabitants.

Conrad takes Marlow’s expertise to heart to lead the survivors through Skull Island’s dangers.

Since Randa, Brooks, and largely insignificant biologist San Lin (Jing Tian) are ill equipped to navigate Skull Island’s hazardous jungles, they recruit S.A.S. serviceman turned mercenary/tracker Joseph Conrad to lend his experience to the mission. Though initially sceptical due to the unforeseen dangers awaiting them, Conrad’s convinced by the promise of cold, hard cash and is intrigued by Skull Island, and the mystery surrounding Monarch’s true intentions. Striking up a subtle, but unmistakable attraction with anti-war photographer Mason Weaver, Conrad immediately adapts to the alien terrain and leads the survivors of Packard’s team though the jungle, taking charge of one group and prioritising reaching a preset rendezvous point while Packard directs another group in an increasingly insane attempt to avenge their losses against Kong. Though respectful of Packard’s command and experience, Conrad soon finds himself as the voice of reason when Packard threatens to risk his life (and the lives of his men) in a futile assault against Kong, consistently managing to appease the crazed Colonel into letting the civilians trek to safety rather than join his vendetta. Adaptable and a keen marksman and swordsman, Conrad is a dashing, enigmatic hero with an affable personality, constantly keeping a cool head and being respectful to those he meets. While the soldiers have itchy trigger fingers, Conrad peacefully greets the mysterious and silent Iwi tribe and is both sympathetic towards and intrigued by marooned U.S. Army Air Forces Lieutenant Hank Marlow’s (Reilly) plight and insight into Kong and his island. While Weaver is worthy of attracting even a giant ape’s lust and attention, Kong: Skull Island avoids having the ape become fixated on her and she instead documents the trip, snapping shots of the island, its inhabitants, and echoing Conrad’s call for peace and extraction rather than fighting an unwinnable war. She ends up in the thick of the action when Packard riles up the vicious “Skullcrawlers” that threaten Kong’s rule but plays a role in distracting the creatures to aid Kong and, like her predecessors in previous Kong movies, requires the Titan’s aid when he battles to curb the Skullcrawler threat.

Packard’s men are unprepared for Skull Island’s monsters and burned out from futile war.

Having been shot down in World War II alongside Japanese pilot Gunpei Ikari (Miyavi), Marlow has been stranded on Skull Island for nearly thirty years and left a little kooky as a result. While the Iwi are far more benevolent than previous Skull Island natives, they’re largely mute and he’s been left to his own thoughts ever since Gunpei was killed by a Skullcrawler. He’s thus ecstatic when Conrad and the others arrive and enthusiastically warns of the island’s dangers while delivering exposition regarding Kong, who’s recast as a bad tempered but ultimately benign God to the locals. While Marlow’s been unable to escape, warrant officer Reg Slivko (Thomas Mann) cobbles together the remains of his plane and a rudimentary raft to carry them to the rendezvous point, leading Marlow to bid an emotional farewell to his saviours, learn how the world has changed during his absence, and anxiously contemplate returning to his wife and son (Beth Kennedy and Will Brittain). Though Conrad defers to Marlow’s expertise, Packard isn’t as convinced and largely dismisses the pilot, refusing to heed his warnings about venturing into Skullcrawler territory and challenging Kong. Packard’s men, though exhausted from the futility of the Vietnam War and eager to return home, attack their new mission with gusto, convinced they can brave any threat. While many are one-dimensional characters, they provide enough charisma to make an impression, from warrant officer Glenn Mills (Jason Mitchell) being obsessed with his beloved mother, Silvo being torn between his duty and his morals, and Captain Earl Cole (Shea Whigham) maintaining a stoic calm no matter how many monsters he encounters. Even Cole reaches his limit, however, after everything he’s witnessed and Packard’s lunacy, leading to him attempting a dramatic sacrifice only to be undone when the Skullcrawler simply swipes him into a cliff. Major Jack Chapman (Kebbell) may as well be wearing a bullseye the entire film with all his pining for his son, Billy, which predictably leads to his gruesome death at the jaws of a Skullcrawler, adding further fuel to Packard’s obsession.

Packard’s obsession with killing Kong sees his men devoured and killed by some horrific monsters.

Portrayed as a grizzled war veteran who’s reached his limit, Packard has more than a few similarities to the likes of Colonel Walter Kurtz (Marlon Brando) and Captain Ahab. Feeling disillusioned and cheated out of victory in Vietnam, Packard jumps at the assignment to breach Skull Island’s storm front and venture into a new land, seemingly determined to assert his dominance rather than be humiliated by underequipped natives. Packard is personally affronted when Kong lashes out at his men when they drop Monarch’s seismic charges, becoming deadset on avenging his losses and continuing his war, no matter what it costs. Since his men are loyal to him, Packard’s fixation of reaching a weapons cache is only questioned by the likes of Conrad and Marlow, who emphasise safety and retreat over conflict. Packard, however, has none of this, threatening his allies at gunpoint when they disagree with him and being determined to kill Kong, despite the greater threat of the Skullcrawlers. As you’d expect, this obsession becomes Packard’s undoing as he refuses to set aside his grievances and only causes more death as even his seasoned troops are no match for Skull Island. Rather than being populated by dinosaurs, this Skull Island is full of unique, gigantic insects and other creatures that expertly camouflage into the jungle and easily get the drop on the unsuspecting grunts. While the Sker Buffalo is mostly harmless, the gigantic and frankly unsettling Mother Longlegs masquerades as mambo trees and skewers or webs up many of Packard’s men and Chapman is briefly spooked when a giant log turns out to be a Spore Mantis! Packard’s causal sniping of ugly “birds” unsettles a slew of voracious, bat-like Psychovultures who rip poor Victor Nieves (John Ortiz) to pieces and give Conrad a chance to show off his sick sword skills. Kong tangles with and partially devours a Mire Squid in a call-back to King Kong vs. Godzilla (Honda, 1962) but even his mighty strength and dominance is tested by the ferocious Skullcrawlers, who pop up from natural vents to devour everything in sight.

The fiercely territorial Kong is now a cranky but benevolent protector who defends his land.

Since Skullcrawlers wiped out Kong’s species, Kong has a natural vendetta against them and is duty bound to wipe them out lest their gigantic alpha re-emerge. This drives him to attack Packard’s helicopters as their seismic charges awaken the Skullcrawlers, who chow down on Chapman and Randa, spewing up their bones and clothing in surprisingly gruesome scenes and snagging prey with their frog-like tongues. In keeping with the MonsterVerse portraying Godzilla as a benevolent force, the large (but still growing) Kong is seen as a protector figure. The Iwi’s wall isn’t to keep Kong out, but to deter the Skullcrawlers, who terrorised their people for a thousand years before the Apus Giganticus defended them. Depicted as “king” of Skull Island, Kong again carries many scars and wounds from his constant battling to maintain his position as the land’s alpha. Marlow relates some of Kong’s backstory, depicting him as the last of his kind and we again the skeletal remains of his people, this time littering the Skullwalker’s turf and that the Iwi revere Kong’s protection through paintings (though they seemingly don’t offer him female sacrifices). Kong is largely disinterested in humans, ignoring them until they become a threat and barely interested in even the alluring Weaver. No longer simply an enlarged ape, Kong is depicted as an unknowable, unique entity, standing upright and having anthropomorphic tendencies while also emphasising his intelligence. Kong utilises makeshift weapons, such as an uprooted tree or the propeller of a scuttled ship, when battling Skullcrawlers alongside his usual brute strength, with him again favouring snapping his foe’s jaws. Kong becomes the embodiment of Packard’s obsession, a dangerous an alien “other” he can vent his insanity and frustration on, and is seen as a threat to the world despite him simply defending his territory. While Kong largely dismisses Packard, the irrational Colonel earns the Titan’s wrath through a napalm attack, leading to the enraged Kong simply crushing his would-be adversary like a gnat.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Kong: Skull Island makes the bold decision to focus basically its entire runtime on Skull Island, stranding its characters there and giving them a ticking clock to get to a rendezvous point before they’re potentially trapped like Marlow was. Unlike previous Kong movies, however, Kong: Skull Island emphasises action and a constant battle for survival, with the burned out and overwhelmed soldiers adding a touch of flavour to the proceedings as they’re slightly better equipped than the usual film crews and sailors who venture to the island. The film also cleverly limits their  encounters with the island’s inhabitants, emphasising quality over quantity to offer horrific insectile creatures and ensure that the CGI holds up far better than in Peter Jackson’s overstuffed remake. The film’s pacing also benefits from this, with the action moving at a steady pace and a sense of urgency in both teams as they battle to their objectives, while still giving poignant moments with Marlow and allowing Hiddleston and Larson to sizzle with their subtle chemistry. Not only does Kong not become protective of Weaver, he’s also one of the few Kongs to not only survive but also remain on the island, dramatically presenting Kong as a key player in the MonsterVerse. This is further emphasised in the post-credit scene, where Conrad and Weaver (who sadly never appear again) are given a taste of Kong’s true destiny, which is to defend the Earth from other, less benevolent Titans. The film also changes the Iwi to be far more altruistic than previous natives, with them welcoming outcasts while also being a deeply prideful people. They offer shelter and exposition and are said to have moved past concepts of war and personal possessions, providing a stark contrast to the “Oorah!” gusto of Packard’s soldiers, who cannot deny the call to take up arms even if they’re tired of the futility of war. Indeed, Packard’s men were looking forward to going home when the call came in, though their burned-out Colonel is consumed by the need to not be denied a victory of a native, seemingly primitive force like in Vietnam.  

A quality over quantity approach allows the film’s monsters to be more impressive and horrifying.

Rather than being hidden by an impenetrable fog, Skull Island is now protected by a violent storm that deters ships and planes from venturing further but is easily bypassed by Packard’s helicopters. The island is still a prehistoric lost world, home to many unique, gigantic, and dangerous creatures, but is also seemingly ground zero for the Hollow Earth, immense underground tunnels where Titans and unknowable monsters dwell. Fiercely territorial, Kong fights off any incursions from the Hollow Earth, primarily the voracious Skullcrawlers, but isn’t against asserting his dominance over the likes of the Mire Squid. Each is brought to life through some startlingly detailed CGI, with Kong being the obvious standout. The biggest he’s ever been (at that time), Kong dominates the horizon, rendered as an ape/man hybrid of sorts who leaps and crashes about rather than swinging through the trees. With thick, impressively rendered fur, a war-torn body, and a deeply expressive face, Kong exudes both a cantankerous attitude (like he’s sick of Packard’s shit) and a gruff intelligence, especially in his determination to battle the “Big One” and take up makeshift arms. While the Mire Squid looks a little dodgy, the water and blood effects on Kong are otherwise remarkable, with this easily being the most impressive version to date and him often appearing in daylight. The Skullcrawlers are effective nightmare fuel, being strange, lizard-like mutates with a voracious appetite and unnerving exposed skull. It’s the other insectile inhabitants that really caught my eye, though, as Kong: Skull Island presents new monsters rather than dinosaur variants, giving us horrific creatures like the Mother Longlegs to force us (and the characters) to question everything about their surroundings. Although the soldiers pack some serious firepower and later upgrade to napalm, they’re constantly depicted as out of their depth on Skull Island and it takes every resource they have to battle even one Skullcrawler, forcing them to flee just like they withdrew from Vietnam as their weapons are ultimately useless against the prehistoric land’s occupants.

Kong’s strength and intelligence see him victorious and ready to face now Titan threats…

Upon first seeing Kong, Packard’s already fragile mind snaps like a twig. While he initially frames his vendetta as a search party for Chapman, Packard’s true intention is to find the weapons cache and gain the means to kill Kong. When Marlow balks at this, Packard turns violent, lashing out and threatening him and Conrad at gunpoint before being convinced to pursue his vendetta with his few loyal men. However, as Kong is the only thing keeping the Skullcrawlers from running rampant and potentially threatening the world, Marlow convinces Conrad to intervene when Packard sets a trap not laced with chloroform, but with napalm, luring Kong with seismic charges and thus unleashing the alpha Skullcrawler. After fending off multiple smaller beasts, Kong battles the Titan-sized threat, which Marlow warned could be more than the ape’s match since it previously killed his parents. Indeed, while Kong easily dispatches of the smaller creatures, the Big One is a far greater threat, sending Kong hurtling across the swamp. While Kong is briefly tangled up in a scuttled ship’s chains, he uses this to his advantage, wrapping it around his arm and swinging the rusted propeller to gain the upper hand. When Weaver gets a little too close to the action, she ends up in Kong’s massive fist when he dramatically and gruesomely wrenches the Big One’s insides out tongue first to establish himself as the dominant Titan of Skull Island. Exhausted, overwhelmed, and in awe of Kong’s feat, Conrad leads the survivors to the rendezvous point and leaves Kong to roar his victory across the land. In the aftermath, a nervous, freshly shaved, and decorated Marlow finally returns home, embraced by his wife and stunned son while Conrad and Weaver are warned that other Titans are still to be discovered and their experiences have only justified Monarch’s existence…

The Summary:
I’ve always been a big fan of Kong: Skull Island. On paper, there are some elements that I wasn’t sure would work as it changes the concept of King Kong quite a bit, but it all comes together really nicely and presents a new, if familiar, version of the world’s most famous ape. Setting the film against the background of the Vietnam War and making allusions of Apocalypse Now was a great way to present a new spin on the Kong concept and Samuel L. Jackson gave a terrific, scenery chewing performance as the crazed Packard. While many of his soldiers weren’t as fleshed out, they shined enough through their identifiable traits and Tom Hiddleston and John C. Reilly went a long way to making up for any of their shortcomings. Hiddleston makes for a convincing action hero and I remain disappointed that he never got to reprise this role in the MonsterVerse films. I also loved Marlow’s blend of comic relief, wackiness, and poignant emotion. Kong: Skull Island equally impresses with its action-packed narrative, which breaks the tradition of presenting dull, boring boat and island sequences in Kong films, and by offering unique and well-crafted monsters to provide some tension. Kong was beautifully brought to life as a fantastic throwback to his origins and recast as a curmudgeonly protector, one as intelligent as he is fierce, and it was great to see him portrayed as something more than just a tragic beast. Kong: Skull Island also stands the test of time as a more grounded, intense entry in the increasingly over-the-top MonsterVerse films, laying the foundation of big, world-shaking blockbusters with a gritty, captivating discussion on the trauma of war and man’s obsession with conquering both nature and perceived primitive forces.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Were you a fan of he MonsterVerse version of King Kong? What did you think to him being presented as a protector figure? Which of Skull Island’s monsters was your favourite? Did you like the allusions to Apocalypse Now and Packard’s obsession with killing Kong? Would you have liked to see a Kong solo sequel and which MonsterVerse movie is your favourite version? How are you celebrating Kaiju this month? let me know what you think about the MonsterVerse in the comments, donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more MonsterVerse content, and go check out my other King Kong and Kaiju reviews!

Movie Night [K-Month]: Peter Jackson’s King Kong


In the absolutely bonkers science-fiction film Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), the monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity on 10th August 2013, which was subsequently branded “K-DAY”. To celebrate this event, and giant monster movies, I’m dedicating every Sunday in August to one of cinema’s most prolific monsters: King Kong!


Released: 14 December 2005
Director: Peter Jackson
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $207 million
Stars: Adrien Brody, Naomi Watts, Jack Black, Andy Serkis, Kyle Chandler, and Thomas Kretschmann

The Plot:
Vaudeville performer Ann Darrow (Watts) joins struggling filmmaker Carl Denham (Black) on a venture to Skull Island, only to be kidnapped by the might giant ape “Kong” (Serkis), prompting playwright Jack Driscoll (Brody) to lead a rescue.

The Background:
About a hundred years ago, filmmaker, adventurer, and former World War I aviator Merian C. Cooper brought his vision of a giant gorilla ascending the Empire State Building to life with King Kong (Cooper and Schoedsack, 1933), one of the most influential movies ever made. Followed by a comedic and divisive sequel that same year, a profitable but polarising clash with Godzilla, and a “Suitmationblunder that ended Toho’s brief stint with the creature, an ambitious remake impressed critics and turned a profit in 1976. Although the 1986 sequel was critically and commercially panned, Universal Pictures pursued life-long King Kong fan Peter Jackson about a remake during the mid-nineties. Though initially hesitant, Jackson eventually agreed to the project, though production stalled due to studio concerns and wouldn’t pick up again until Jackson’s Lord of the Rings films (ibid, 2001 to 2003) proved box office hits. Though this gave Jackson carte blanche to revive King Kong, the budget ballooned during pre-production, which included the restoration of a lost scene of the original. The filmmakers spent hours reviewing footage of real-world gorillas and star Andy Serkis threw himself into the role, playing an integral part in the character’s motion capture process. Weta Digital supervised the visual effects, which reimagined Kong as a less anthropomorphised creature and pitted him against various dinosaur-like creatures. On the human side of things, Jack Black played against type as the opportunistic Denham, Adrien Brody enjoyed the challenge of such an effects-heavy film, and Jackson kept and released comprehensive production dairies during filming. The result was a nearly-$600 million blockbuster that was accompanied by an innovative videogame and wowed audiences with its visuals, Serkis’s captivating performance, and impressive reimagining of the original. Although some criticised the runtime and bloated script, there were plans for a sequel, and then a prequel, before both were scrapped in favour of a “MonsterVerse” reboot in 2017.

The Review:
While some visuals and shots appear to have been inspired by the 1976 remake of King Kong, Peter Jackson’s big-budget, CGI-stuffed epic is a love letter to the 1933 original at its core. Thus, King Kong is a period piece taking place in the middle of the Great Depression, when times are so hard that theatres are largely empty, working class people struggle to make ends meet, and the streets are filled with the destitute and homeless. Naturally, the 1% are still thriving and there’s still money to be thrown around and made, but it’s all firmly in the hands of the upper class and the rich, meaning aspirational filmmaker Carl Denham must beg for funding for his projects and struggling stage actress Ann Darrow resorts to stealing and being sorely tempted by to the burlesque scene. Whereas the original King Kong moved at a brisk pace, quickly spiriting characters between scenes, Peter Jackson’s movie takes its sweet time, building atmosphere and giving audiences ample time to become familiar with its bloated cast. Thus, we spend the first twenty minutes following Denham and Ann as their divergent paths cross due to happenstance. Hoping to film a romantic adventure in the jungle, Carl (…somehow…) acquires a map to the mysterious and uncharted Skull Island, where he plans to wow audiences with sights and sounds they’ve never experienced. Unfortunately, his producers are unconvinced by his bold claims and impulsive nature and eventually issue a warrant for his arrest, to say nothing of his lead actress quitting and forcing him to trawl the burlesque scene for a quick replacement. This is where he spots Ann, who he’s immediately entranced by and whom he woos with talk of high adventure and romance, convinced she’s the perfect fit not just physically but also emotionally since she’s the “saddest girl [he’s] ever seen”. Known more for her comedy, Ann is sceptical of Denham and, despite being close to starvation, initially rejects his offer before finally acquiescing since his project’s being penned by her idol, Jack Driscoll.

Duped by Denham, Driscoll and Ann find love and brave the dangers of Skull Island.

Thanks to Denham being a natural showman with a silver tongue and his fearless, convincing nature, the filmmaker convinces everyone of his vision even though they all seem to know that he’s bullshitting and they’ll never get paid. Cameraman Herb (John Sumner) and Denham’s personal assistant Preston (Colin Hanks) are touchingly loyal but the mysteriously gruff and confrontational Captain Englehorn (Kretschmann) is extremely sceptical and only convinced to cast off by promises of more money. This is exactly how Denham stalls Driscoll when he turns in his rough fifteen-page draft and tries to leave, only to be trapped onboard the ship and forced to work on the script in the animal pen (because Englehorn conveniently specialises in live animal captures). Despite this, Driscoll seems happy to join the venture, inspired by the mysterious allure of Skull Island and captivated by Ann, who admires his work and is equally attracted to him (despite a rocky start). Ann changes once on the ship, seemingly putting on the façade of a Hollywood starlet, and throws herself into the gig, delivering cheesy lines alongside arrogant film star Bruce Baxter (Chandler) and inspiring Driscoll to write a stage comedy tailored to her strengths. By the time they reach Skull Island, the two are unquestionably lovers and Driscoll shows a surprising amount of guts, desperately trying to shield Ann from the wild natives and partially leading the rescue attempt when she’s taken by Kong. While it takes time for Bruce to live up to his reputation as a screen hero, Driscoll eagerly arms himself and heads into the jungle, fighting giant bugs, outpacing rampaging dinosaurs, and even going alone when separated. Luckily, Driscoll encounters no further obstacles and goes right to where Kong has Ann captive and even returns to the native village in record time. However, the experience changes him (and all the survivors) and he distances himself from Denham’s Kong circus, sharing Ann’s shame in separating the giant beast from his homeland. Driscoll’s then inspired by his own writing to reunite with Ann and recaptures the fire he showed on Skull Island to brave Kong’s rampage and lure him away from civilians.

While Carl’s obsessed with fortune, Ann comes to bond and care for the lonely, misunderstood Kong.

This is true of Ann as well. Although she’s initially horrified by Kong, Ann keeps her head and tries numerous ways to disinterest the beast, from playing dead, to running away, and finally performing her comedy routine. While the film heavily implies that Kong has toyed with and devoured his previous offerings, Ann’s dancing and buffoonery amuses him and spares her. Even when she admonishes him for pushing her around, Kong throws a tantrum and sulks rather than simply squashing or eating her, and Ann comes to be taken by not only him, but the beauty of Skull Island. This is matched only by the dangers living there and Ann is tossed about, firmly held in Kong’s grasp as he battles ferocious Vastatosaurus rexes, leading to her not only sympathising with his great loneliness and constant strife but also being indebted to him. While almost reluctant to leave Kong’s side, Ann is grateful to be saved but horrified when Kong is wounded and knocked unconscious by chloroform. She’s so guilt-ridden that she refuses to star in Denhem’s Kong show but seemingly senses Kong’s anguish, willing approaching him on the frigid streets of Broadway and sharing a few tender moments before the National Guard attack. While Driscoll echoes this sympathy, Denham does not; he misleads the crew from the start and is obsessed with making his picture, no matter the danger. Even when his crew are killed, he spins it into a positive and urges the survivors to rally, his enthusiasm turning to a malicious spite when his footage is wrecked. This sees him pivot towards capturing the beast, challenging Captain Englehorn’s reputation and being the one to KO Kong. Denham then fully transforms into a conniving showman under the bright lights of New York City, despite the survivors judging him for his actions, and never receives any comeuppance aside from his show and reputation being left in tatters.

A lot of screen time is spent on characters who either die horribly or disappear once Kong is captured.

Had King Kong focused on these three and the way their experiences change them, it might’ve benefitted the run time. Ann is stunned by how hardened Denham is when she’s rescued from Kong and it’s clear all three are traumatised by their near-death experience, but the film focuses its runtime on the Venture’s motley crew. First, there’s Lumpy (Serkis), the gruff and disgusting chef who shares stories about Skull Island and its mysterious beast and who meets a gruesome end courtesy of some monstrous (if cartoonish) worms. Then there’s Ben Hayes (Evan Parke), a natural leader thanks to his days in the military who acts as a mentor to young Jimmy (Jamie Bell), whom he found as a savage stowaway some years ago. These two eat up a lot of screen time on the lengthy journey to Skull Island, with Jimmy eager to impress his mentor, strangely determined to rescue Ann despite them never sharing any screen time, and making not-so-subtle allusions to Heart of Darkness (Conrad, 1899) to emphasise the dangers of Skull Island. I do feel this dialogue and these allusions could’ve easily been given to Driscoll (he is a writer, after all) to reduce or even remove these two from the film as they don’t add anything and stick out like a sore thumb. Jimmy’s forced to step up after Hayes suffers a surprisingly violent death at Kong’s hands, comically saving Driscoll from some giant bugs, but he vanishes once they get to New York. Similarly, while I enjoyed Captain Englehorn’s strangely confrontational nature, he also vanishes after Kong’s subdued. He plays a vital role in rescuing the group when they’re trapped in the bug pit, however, and conveniently has enough chloroform to knock out a giant ape since he coincidentally deals in live animal capture, something that doesn’t come up until Denham decides to capture Kong. Finally, screen star Bruce turns out to be a complete coward but, considering none of them were prepared for Skull Island’s dangers, he’s absolutely right to be. Though he steps up to encourage Englehorn’s rescue, Bruce reverts to type when he’s cast as the “hero” in Denham’s Kong circus and then flees during the ape’s rampage, his sole focus on saving his own skin.

The savage natives live alongside a bunch of monstrous, prehistoric predators.

While it’s never made clear how Denham got the map to Skull Island, the Venture discovers it easily, only struggling with the thick fog, rough seas, and jagged rocks. Though the island appears deserted, it casts a distinctly ominous and malevolent appearance with its Kong-like rocks and the gigantic wall adorned with skeletons of previous sacrifices. The native tribe are more vicious and animalistic than ever, resembling Orcs from Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies and often shot with shaky cam to highlight how savage they are. A primitive tribe who both worship and fear Kong, the natives assume more ape-like characteristics, appear to be cannibals, and are shockingly violent, murdering some of the crew with spears and skull bashing. Though scared off by gun fire, they comically pole vault to the Venture to abduct Ann, subjecting her to a ritual that is far more ghastly than usual thanks to torrential rain and their wild movements. Even the wall and its massive door is so much more elaborate here, with Ann suspended over a gorge filled with flames and magma like something out of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (Spielberg, 1984). However, like the Venture’s crew, the natives disappear after Kong abducts Ann, never interfering with Denham’s capture plan or suffering Kong’s wrath when he chases her. Skull Island’s jungle is equally hostile, being a veritable lost world populated by giant, disgusting bugs and dinosaurs. Although there’s a palpable danger, isolation, and unpredictability and I appreciate that it’s populated by prehistoric creatures, they don’t always look good and there’s a definite sense of quantity over quality. The stampeding Brontosaurus baxteri are particularly cartoonish, especially when they fall and pile up, and I’m not sure we needed the bug pit scene. It’s great that Jackson revived it but it goes on way too long and it would’ve been much faster to have some of the crew perish from the fall or be picked off by a few giant bugs as they explore.

The fierce jungle king is reduced to a mere spectacle in the U.S.

Unlike in previous King Kong movies, Kong is unmistakably a gigantic ape, with mannerisms and influences from various primates and Homo sapiens thanks to Serkis’s experience with portraying these creatures. Kong leaps, swings, clambers, and moves on all four limbs rather than being anthropomorphised. While this certainly makes him more realistic, he does lose some allure as he appears to be a unique and undiscovered prehistoric ape rather than some mythical beast. Still, there’s a lot of intrigue around Kong as the giant ape bones hint that he’s the last of his kind and he’s a very lonely creature who constantly fights for his position as “king” of the island. While Kong toys with his prey and is clearly an ancient being, he throws tantrums, reacts violently to trespassers, and flies into such a rage when Driscoll rescues Ann that he blunders into an obvious trap. Kong is a savage fighter, brutalising opponents and even devouring people, but is also capable of great sadness and emotion. He fiercely protects Ann from the V. Rexes and scoops her onto his shoulder, sharing his quiet place with her and being so captivated by her that he flies into a rage when Denham presents him with a substitute (Julia Walshaw). Strangely, despite nearly an hour on the Venture, we never see how Kong is brought aboard the ship or the conditions he’s kept in on the (presumably long) journey home. However, when Denham unveils Kong, he’s weak, possibly malnourished, and completely defeated. He’s enraged by the substitute and the flash bulbs, tearing through Broadway and scooping up any screaming blonde he comes across. Kong is as out of his depth in the concrete jungle as Denham’s party were on the island, struggling to navigate the cramped streets and being drawn to the highest point on pure instinct. Kong is probably his most impressive and nuanced here and a great deal of time and effort has gone into him, but I can’t help but be a little disappointed by how familiar he is. Like how many critics attacked Godzilla (Emmerich, 1998) for being an enlarging an iguana, I remain disappointed that Kong wasn’t more unknowable and bestial.

The Nitty-Gritty:
King Kong is an adventure into the unknown, with Denham selling his entire crew on the fortune and glory of the mysterious Skull Island. It’s honestly strange that more characters don’t call him out on this, with even the gruff Captain Englehorn going along despite not being paid and orders to turn Carl in. I really enjoyed the references to Fay Wray and Merian C. Cooper, the lines spoken by Ann and Bruce aboard the Venture mirroring the clunky dialogue of the original film, and even the photographers clambering on Kong’s corpse like in the 1976 film. While I appreciate the film fleshing out its characters, it really should’ve focused on Ann, Carl, and Jack. It takes twenty minutes for the Venture to cast off, almost an hour to reach Skull Island, over an hour for Kong to appear, and over two hours to get back to New York! Every aspect of the original is bigger, longer, and more grandiose but that doesn’t necessarily make it “better” as Jackson takes twice as long to make the same points. The pacing is also really strange as we spend so much time blundering though the jungle and yet Ann and Driscoll get back to the village in record time (even with the Terapusmordax obscenus’ assist). We have time to waste with a slow-motion reveal of the island’s name but not showing how Kong gets on the ship, or any of the return trip. Similarly, we get to see Ann and Kong slipping about on a frozen pool (an admittedly sweet scene) but interactions between her and Kong on the ship that could’ve achieved the same goal and been less cheesy. Finally, it’s bizarre that so many characters we’ve been forced to follow vanish once the film returns to New York. There’s no real payoff to Jimmy’s sub-plot and even Bruce reverts to type, with only Preston reappearing to cast judgement on Denham during his circus.

While Kong and the period aesthetic look great, some effects suffer and are too cartoonish.

Still, King Kong’s greatest strengths are its visuals. The film emphasises that this is the 1930s with the accents, attitudes, and society of the time. I would’ve liked Ann to be more motivated by her desperate hunger and desire to avoid stripping off for money, but I liked how tactile and gritty the Venture was. Skull Island makes an immediate impression thanks not only to how menacing it’s portrayed but how real-world locations are used alongside practical effects, miniatures, and CGI. This makes the many pitfalls the crew suffer more believable, but sadly also makes obvious green screen moments stand out more. To be fair, Jackson may be evoking old school rear projection techniques, but that’s a generous excuse as the Brontosaurus baxteri stampede, Ann fleeing the V. Rex, and her and Hayes being manhandled by Kong are all times instances where the effects take a hit. The dinosaurs, especially, are far too cartoonish and I think Jackson was being far too ambitious here. Like, pick between the bug pit and the dinosaur stampede and put more time, effort, and money into one big effects scene rather than two. Jackson’s desire to outdo the original is most apparent when Kong fights three V. Rexes while clutching Ann, tumbling over a cliff, and being entangled in vines! Still, this is a big, heroic moment for Kong and he’s easily the best effect here, even in full light, with detailed fur and facial expressions conveying many emotions. Covered in scars from constant battle and sporting a cracked tooth, there’s a real sense of power, speed, and size when Kong’s crashing through the jungle and leaping about. These sequences cleverly focus on Ann to make them more harrowing, but Kong still lacks the true impact of a physical effect. There’s nothing practical about him, which is a shame as he really does look great, and I give the film credit for staging its finale in broad daylight to fully showcase Kong’s effects and dramatic end.

Despite Ann’s best efforts and his valiant fight, Kong’s rampage ends with his tragic death.

Even when his most loyal followers are killed, Denham persists with his obsession, only pivoting towards capturing Kong after he loses his precious footage. To his credit, Denham does mention the lives lost in capturing the “Eighth Wonder of the World” but goes full P.T. Barnum when introducing Kong, revelling in the accolades and spotlight and never once showing any remorse, even after Kong dies. Though weak, Kong flies into a rage during the show and easily breaks his heavy chains, rampaging through the theatre and charging through the slippery New York streets, desperate to reunite with Ann and causing destruction and death in his wild pursuit. Indeed, Kong Kong is surprisingly violent and bloody at times, with people impaled by spears, having their skulls crushed, being tossed aside or eaten by Kong, and Kong tearing apart the V. Rexes. Ann seems to sense Kong’s distress and goes to him to calm him after Driscoll valiantly tries to lure him away from people. Sadly, their sweet reunion is interrupted by the National Guard and Kong is soon scaling the Empire State Building, attracted by its lights and height. Ann goes with him willingly, no longer afraid and seeking only to calm Kong’s anger, and the two share another moment basking in the beauty of the city before the biplanes close in. As ever, Kong protects Ann first and foremost, even saving her from a plummet even as he’s bleeding to death from bullet wounds, but he’s noticeably more aggressive in the finale. Kong challenges the planes, swatting them from the sky when they fly too close, but ultimately succumbs to his wounds when they relentlessly fire upon him. Though Ann desperately pleads for them to stop, they attack when Kong’s back is turned and he collapses, sharing his final breaths with Ann on the top of the Empire State Building before plummeting to the street below. Though powerless to assist in this tragic end, Driscoll does push past the military to comfort Ann after the fall, which sees Kong reduced to a sad spectacle once again as the discredited Denham looks on.

The Summary:
As a big Kong Kong fan, and someone who loved Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings movies, you better believe I was hyped for this remake at the time. I remember going to see it at the cinema and being so disappointed and bored that I never bothered to pick it up on DVD and have largely avoided it whenever it’s on television. Visually, this King Kong is unparalleled even to this day. Skull Island has never been so terrifying and alive as it is here, with the natives giving off Cannibal Holocaust (Deodato, 1980) energy and the many dinosaurs evoking the Jurassic films (Various, 1993 to present). Oddly, though they’re unprepared for Skull Island’s dangers, Denham’s crew adapts remarkably well to the environment, braving the unknown to rescue Ann simply to be crushed or devoured by the wildlife. Sadly, though, “bigger” doesn’t always mean “better” and Jackson seems to have been far too ambitious here, cramming so much into the film that it takes away from Kong’s spectacle. And it’s a shame because Kong is spectacular here, despite essentially just being a giant ape rather than some otherworldly beast, showcasing a range of emotions and being a brutal, savage fighter who openly mocks his prey. Jackson’s efforts to pay homage to the film that inspired his career leads to a bloated, tedious film whose pacing is all over the place. While it’s nice to have more three-dimensional characters, it’s bizarre that so much screen time goes to characters who either die or disappear rather than to the three leads, who would’ve benefitted from this extra exposure. The film oddly glosses over some key points and seems strangely rushed at the end, with little emphasis placed on the juxtaposition of Kong in the concrete jungle versus the real jungle. I did like how Kong was more aggressive and fought so valiantly in the finale as it matched his fighting spirit on Skull Island, and his death remains as tragically hollow as ever, but it all lacks a lot of punch because the film is just way too long. The runtime would’ve greatly benefited from trimming or cutting some scenes because, as it is, King Kong is an undeniable visual spectacle and an amazing modern take on the concept, but too self-indulgent, too ambitious, and crippled by its lengthy runtime that does nothing but make it an obnoxious and tedious chore to sit through.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Peter Jackson’s version of King Kong? Do you agree that it’s far too long and focuses on too many side characters or did you appreciate the characterisations? Were you surprised at how violent the natives were and the viciousness of Skull Island’s inhabitants? What did you think to Kong, his appearance, and his more animalistic portrayal? Which version of Kong is your favourite how are you celebrating K-Day today? Whatever your thoughts on this big-budget King Kong remake, or other monster movies, drop a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other King Kong and Kaiju content!

Movie Night [Spidey Month]: The Amazing Spider-Man


Easily Marvel Comics’ most recognisable superhero, unsuspecting teenage nerd Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and learned the meaning of power and responsibility in August 1962. Since then, the Amazing Spider-Man has featured in cartoons, movies, videogames, and countless comic books. To coincide with his day of celebration, I’m dedicating every Monday of August to everyone’s favourite web-head!


Released: 3 July 2012
Director: Marc Webb
Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $200 to 230 million
Stars: Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Sally Field, and Martin Sheen

The Plot:
Bitten by a genetically enhanced spider, Peter Parker (Garfield) tries to atone for the death of his beloved Uncle Ben (Sheen) as Spider-Man while romancing science-whiz Gwen Stacy (Stone) and opposing Doctor Curtis “Curt” Connors’ (Ifans) mad plot to turn New York City into lizard people like him!

The Background:
After his debut issue became one of Marvel’s best selling titles, Spider-Man’s popularity cemented him as their flagship character, though his cinematic debut was infamously delayed by rewrites and legal issues. Eventually, Sam Raimi and Sony Pictures Entertainment produced a critical and commercial success with Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002), and one of the greatest superhero movies ever made with Spider-Man 2 (ibid, 2004), before closing the trilogy with the profitable but divisive Spider-Man 3 (ibid, 2007). Initially, Sam Raimi and star Tobey Maguire were set to return for a fourth movie and Raimi even got as far as casting and storyboarding the film before creative and deadline issues saw the sequel scrapped and Mark Webb hired to helm a reboot. Determined to reinvent Spider-Man, Webb insisted upon including Spidey’s web shooters and worked with costume designer Kym Barrett to create a darker, sleeker costume. Andrew Garfield, a fan of Tobey’s portrayal, took over the title role and went to a lot of effort to research how to move in the suit, as well as legitimately falling for co-star Emma Stone during filming. Though striving for a grounded approach to the action, 3ality Technica presented the new Spidey’s swinging and like never before with their 3D conversion process, and Sony Pictures Imageworks brought classic, tragic Spidey villain the Lizard to life using a mixture of stand-ins, motion capture, and star Rhys Ifans’ performance. The result was a film that earned a little under Spider-Man 2’s final gross and somewhat divided critics. While most of the cast, particularly Garfield, were as praised for their performances as the impressive Spidey effects, the Lizard’s CGI was slated and many labelled the film as an unnecessary rehash of Raimi’s previous efforts. Still, The Amazing Spider-Man did well enough to get a notoriously lambasted sequel two years later, and both Garfield and Ifans reprised their roles about ten years later for the multiversal epic Spider-Man: No Way Home (Watts, 2021).

The Review:
Personally, I’ve always felt it was a bit odd to do a full-on Spider-Man reboot just five years after the end of Sam Raimi’s trilogy. Considering how much The Amazing Spider-Man borrows and rehashes form Raimi’s films, I’ve often wondered if it might’ve been better to simply recast and continue in the world he established, like with the James Bond films or Joel Schumacher’s Batman movies. Even The Amazing Spider-Man’s title sequence is a truncated version of Raimi’s, and James Horner’s score is stylistically similar to Danny Elfman’s. Still, The Amazing Spider-Man tries to separate itself in the early going by showing a glimpse into Peter’s past, where young Peter (Max Charles), is spirited away in the middle of the night by his parents, his heartbroken mother, Mary (Embeth Davidtz) and his secretive scientist father, Richard (Campbell Scott), after his father’s office and work was ransacked during the night. Of course, the confused and scared Peter is left with his doting Aunt May (Field) and Uncle Ben Parker, who raise him after his parents die, offscreen, in a plane crash. The loss of Peter’s parents weighs heavily on him, despite his close relationship with Ben and May, and he’s left with many questions regarding their disappearance and feeling an outcast at home and at school, since he inherited his father’s aptitude for science. However, while Tobey Maguire was a moronic geek who clammed up at the first sign of confrontation, Andrew Garfield is a snarky, skateboarding kid who stands up to the bullish antics of Eugene “Flash” Thompson (Chris Zylka) despite being physically outmatched and who’s more quirky and reclusive than a stereotypical bookworm. When he’s not skateboarding or studying, Peter’s taking photographs for the school bulletin board and helping his uncle with odd jobs, which is how he discovers his father’s battered old briefcase and discovers a bunch of scientific documents and a photograph of his father with a mysterious, one-armed scientist. This piques Peter’s curiosity and leads Ben, remorseful at rarely speaking about Richard, to identify the scientist as Dr. Curt Connors.

Greif-stricken outcast Peter embarks on a vigilante quest for revenge after his beloved uncle is killed.

This leads Peter to amusingly tag along with an intern group at the towering, high-tech Oscorp skyscraper, where the beautiful Gwen Stacy works alongside Dr. Connors as his head intern. There, Peter impresses Dr. Connors (while shocking Gwen with hiss appearance) with his knowledge of cross-species genetics, the very subject Dr. Connors and Richard Parker worked on in the hopes of curing diseases and ailments by infusing the DNA of other species into sick or maimed people. Despite Gwen warning Peter to behave, his curiosity gets the better of him and he wanders into a restricted laboratory, where he discovers a batch of genetically modified spiders created by his father and, while being chastised by Gwen, receives a painful bite. As in Raimi’s first film, Peter experiences bouts of nausea and passes out, only this time he blacks out on the subway and discovers his powers purely on instinct when he’s accosted by other passengers, suddenly springing and clinging to the ceiling and demonstrating superhuman strength and reflexes. This Peter is far more unnerved by his powers, which initially make him anxious and eccentric as he reacts to his enhanced senses, leading to an insatiable hunger, him snatching a fly in mind-air, and some pratfalls as he adapts to his incredible strength. This also gives him the edge to humiliate Flash, much to his uncle’s chagrin, and the additional confidence to up his adorable flirting with Gwen. However, while the film wastes a good hour with all this setup and exploring Peter’s abilities with a skateboarding montage, the euphoria again leads him to forget his responsibilities, leading to a chewing out by his uncle that sees Peter storm out. This time, Peter runs afoul of a convenience store clerk (Michael Barra) and is therefore dismissive when a thuggish gunman (Leif Gantvoort) robs the place. Unfortunately, Uncle Ben gets shot when confronting the robber, leaving Peter grief-stricken and embarking on late-night searches for the killer, accosting any street thugs he encounters and continuously coming up short, eventually crafting a disguise after punks see his face and being inspired by luchador masks.

While Dr. Connors get some spotlight, it’s the chemistry between Peter and Gwen that really impresses.

However, this Spider-Man far less virtuous. Although Peter later gets into a heated debate with Police Captain George Stacy (Leary) he’s about “protecting people” and “stopping bad guys”, Spider-Man is obsessed with finding his uncle’s killer, neglecting his aunt, constantly bruised and morose, and only saves innocents by proxy. It isn’t until Dr. Connors’ first rampage as the monstrous Lizard that Peter realises Spider-Man is capable of more, saving saves young Jack (Jake Ryan Keiffer) from a fall and earning his father’s (C. Thomas Howell) eternal gratitude. This Spider-Man is also far more scientifically gifted, cobbling together his trademark webshooters, piecing together the solution to the “decay-rate algorithm” that’s been dogging Dr. Connors’ work, and helping to synthesise a cure for the Lizard alongside Gwen. Gwen is far more capable than her predecessor as well. Not only does she have fantastic sexual chemistry with Peter, but she’s just as much of a science nerd as he is and aids him in created the cure in the finale. Though attracted to Peter, Gwen’s interest skyrockets when he impulsively reveals his identity, and she remains infatuated despite her apprehension due to her father’s dangerous profession. Similarly, I adored Sally Field as Aunt May. She’s a lot younger than Rosemary Harris and much more of a working-class Aunt May than a doting old woman, but her grief at losing her husband and her anguish at Peter’s constant injuries is palpable. Yet, her love for him remains strong and she desperately tries to reach him even when he’s consumed by anger and guilt, something reflected in the change in Peter’s relationship with Flash. While he starts out as a jock asshole, Flash awkwardly tries to connect with Peter after Ben’s death, leading to them forming a more stable friendship by the film’s end.

While the Lizard suffers from questionable CGI, Stacy embodies the spirit of J. Jonah Jameson.

Although Peter investigates Oscorp and Dr. Connors works there, and the criminally underutilised Doctor Rajit Ratha (Irrfan Khan) exudes the same shady menace as the laughably faceless Norman Osborn, the company merely facilitates the film’s drama and action. Dr. Connors has dreamed of improving himself (and curing others) with his research, only to be labelled a mad scientist and be frustrated by roadblocks, both scientifically and politically. When Peter offers a solution, Dr. Connors’ hope and excitement is reignited, especially after they successfully implant lizard DNA into a rat and regrow its limb. However, when Ratha steals his research and fires him for his hesitance to start human testing, a desperate Dr. Connors injects himself with the serum and is elated when his arm grows back. This quickly turns to horror, however, as he undergoes a startling and monstrous transformation, losing his rational mind to animalistic rage. Stunned by the Lizard, Peter investigates and stupidly leads the crazed scientist to him by leaving his name on one of his cameras! Thirsty for revenge, the Lizard attacks Midtown Science High School and, when Spider-Man pursues him to his makeshift sewer lab, Peter discovers his identity and his plot. Dr. Connors, driven mad, plots to use a mutagenic solution to twist his dream of making everyone “equal” and healthy by transforming them into lizards! As much as I enjoyed finally seeing the Lizard get his time to shine, I have to admit I’ve always been disappointed by his appearance. He looks very off and far too dinosaur-like, sadly shedding his signature tattered lab coat. The film also wastes so much time retreading Spidey’s origin that Dr. Connors’ family is omitted, meaning he lacks a lot of the sympathy often associated with the character. Though Peter tries to warn Captain Stacy of the threat, he’s dismissed, largely because Stacy was unimpressed by Peter’s defence of what he sees as a dangerous and unpredictable vigilante. Indeed, while J. Jonah Jameson is absent, his spirit lives on in Captain Stacy, who publicly denounces Spider-Man, orders his arrest, and hounds him on sight. Still, Stacy’s sharp enough to investigate Dr. Connors and later sees the true threat first-hand, leading to an unlikely team up between the webslinger and the police captain in the finale.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The Amazing Spider-Man initially advertised itself as the “untold story” of Spider-Man and, if you squint, some of that remains amidst all the rehashing of Raimi’s films. The sub-sub-plot about Richard and Mary Parker is intriguing, but sadly little more than a tease as we learn nothing about what happened to them beyond a brief flash of a headline and it’s left somewhat vague about what they were working on and why that was a threat. While threatening Dr. Connors, Ratha suggests the Parkers’ deaths were due to Oscorp but it all feels very tenuous and isn’t as big a deal as I would’ve liked. Instead, The Amazing Spider-Man wastes a lot of time retreading familiar ground, dwelling on Peter’s pre-Spidey life, showing him exploring his powers and making his suit, and detailing how he abandons his selfish crusade for a higher purpose. As much as I loved all the actors and performances, I really think this is a detriment to the film and things could’ve been sped up. It means Dr. Connors doesn’t get much screen time and it makes it harder for Andrew to stand out from Tobey, despite being a far better fit for the role with his uncanny physical performance and much more natural smart mouth. I absolutely think rewriting the film to be a continuation of Raimi’s movies would’ve been far better. We could’ve reduced the origin to a montage and jumped into the action, with Gwen still being the love interest and exploring Peter’s relationship with Dr. Connors in more detail. To its credit, The Amazing Spider-Man does a lot better than Raimi: the webslinging is much more exciting, Peter’s characterisation is a vast improvement, and even the webshooters are a fun addition (as much as I like and prefer organic webbing). It just really hurts the pacing to waste a whole hour redoing the origin rather than getting to the action, especially when the chemistry between Peter and Gwen is so captivating…and hot! Seriously, these two are horny for each other and I am all for it!

While Spidey has never looked or been embodied better, the Lizard’s CGI is questionable, at best.

Still, The Amazing Spider-Man separates itself from Raimi’s films in a few ways, most obviously the redesigned Spidey suit. While I recall many hating the redesign, I’ve always been a fan of it and I was actually a bit disappointed that they switched to a more traditional costume for the sequel. Just as Andrew’s performance and poses are more animalistic and bug-like, so too is his suit more menacing and insectile, sporting a slick, almost wet-looking texture that makes it seem otherworldly. Another way the film stands out is by his dark it is! So much of The Amazing Spider-Man takes place at night, obscuring a lot of the action and CGI (a conscious decision, I’m sure) and also giving an additional menace to Spider-Man, especially when he’s unloading on thugs and evading the cops. Ironically, this Spider-Man is the wittiest and most amusing yet; I especially loved when he feigned horror when a carjacker (Keith Campbell) pulled a small knife on him! This Spidey is faster and leans into his bug-like nature more than ever, cocooning the Lizard in webbing, making a spread of webs to detect the Lizard in the sewers, and being hyperaware of his surroundings in a way not seen before. I was strangely okay with the first-person shots and odd camera choices, and even the obvious moments shot for 3D viewings, especially as I first saw this in 3D and it absolutely worked like a charm. It’s unfortunate, then, that the Lizard looks so awful. I’ve always been forgiving and understanding of this since it’s a difficult, CGI-heavy character and the film had a reduced budget compared to the last film, but the rest of the movie looks so slick and gorgeous (when you can make out the actions) that the Lizard can’t help but be a letdown. Perhaps if the filmmakers had gone for a gradual transformation, using prosthetics with CGI enhancements and saving the final, complete transformation until the end (or using the heavy shadows), it might’ve been executed better. It’s a shame as the Lizard is pretty impressive, slashing and smashing everything in sight and giving Spider-Man not only a far greater physical challenge but also a mental one, as he (and Gwen) must science-up a way to reverse the mad scientist’s formula.

While Spidey foils the Lizard’s plot, the cost is high and a mysterious threat lingers in the background…

This culminates in an action-packed and emotionally charged finale. After clashing with Captain Stacy over branzino and their different opinions on Spider-Man, Stacy goes all-out to try and apprehend Spider-Man even after confirmation of the Lizard’s threat. After realising Dr. Connor’s plot, Spidey races to stop him and is accosted by the cops, eventually shot mid-swing with a taser bolt and left unmasked before the police captain. Stunned, realising he’s been mistaken and yet conflicted between his duty and his morals, Stacy reluctantly allows Peter to leave but Spidey takes a bullet in the process. Luckily, Jack’s father organises some crane operators to clear a path to Oscorp Tower, though the injured Spidey is physically outmatched by the monstrous scientist. Luckily, Stacy (…somehow…) arrives in time to help with a shotgun and the anti-lizard cure, courtesy of the resourceful Gwen. Unfortunately, though Stacy slows the Lizard with repeated shots and some well-placed liquid nitrogen, he gets skewered through the gut, though Spidey just manages to insert the cure before the device activates. The results are near-instantaneous, painfully reverting the Lizard and restoring his sanity in time to not only save Peter and lament the loss of his arm but to realise the gravity of his murderous actions. Though Peter tries to save him, the mortally wounded Stacy begs him off and reconciles with the young hero, begging Peter, with his dying breath, to leave Gwen out of his double life for her safety. Though grief stricken, Peter honours Stacy’s wishes, ending the relationship, only for Gwen to realise it’s because of her father and for Peter to almost immediately walk back his promise, which I think was supposed to be a subversion of Spider-Man’s ending but came across as a bit awkward and spiteful on Peter’s part. Though Peter heads out into the night for a celebratory swing, now fully embracing his newfound purpose as Spider-Man, he’s unaware that a mysterious individual (Michael Massee) visits the remorseful, incarcerated Dr. Connors regarding the Parkers, hinting at some deeper plot concerning Peter’s parents…

The Summary:
Despite the circumstances surrounding its creation, I think time has been quite kind to The Amazing Spider-Man and, on the whole, removed from the confusion and disappointment of the time period, it holds up pretty well. Andrew Garfield remains my favourite Peter Parker/Spider-Man, embodying the character like never before at the time with his physicality, his wit a d his quirky performance. His absolutely raw emotional range and chemistry with Emma Stone oozes off the screen and I loved how capable and smart and sassy Gwen was, a far cry from the source material and her wooden predecessor. The cast, all around, is superb here, with Rhys Ifans giving a sombre and magnetic performance that turns into the right level of over-the-top camp once he transforms and Denis Leary grumbling his way through every line. I just wish we’d gotten more time with some of the actors. Spidey’s suit, movements, and action sequences were top-notch as well, far beyond anything Raimi’s films did, and I loved the subtle edge given to him, where he’s initially driven more by anger and revenge. Unfortunately, The Amazing Spider-Man stumbles due to a hesitancy to go all-in with the reboot idea. Visually and thematically, it’s very similar to Raimi’s films and it retreads far too much of Spidey’s origin to truly stand alone, again making me wish it had simply been a soft reboot set in the same world. Any intrigue surrounding Peter’s parents is swept under the rug and it’s simply there as sequel bait and to make you think this is something new and the reliance on Oscorp was disappointing after three movies of Osborn shenanigans. As much as I enjoyed Ifans as Dr. Connors, the Lizard is painful to watch at times, barely resembling the source material and losing many of the qualities that made him such a strong and sympathetic villain, meaning the film falls back on the tired “crazy scientist” trope that Raimi drove into the ground. It’s a thrilling and exciting adventure at times with some incredible visuals and moments, but a lot of it is lost in all the darkness and poor lighting, meaning Spider-Man doesn’t pop with colour like he should. It’s a shame as there’s a lot to like here, but The Amazing Spider-Man stumbles more than it strides and it’s difficult to look past some of its failings, despite the appeal of its charismatic cast.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Were you a fan of the Amazing Spider-Man or were you surprised to see a reboot so soon after Raimi’s films? What did you think to Andrew Garfield’s performance and his suit? Were you also disappointed by how much of the origin was rehashed and how dark the film was? What did you think to the chemistry between Peter and Gwen? Which Spider-Man film is your favourite and how are you celebrating the wall-crawler this month? Let me know what you think about The Amazing Spider-Man in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Spider-Man content.

Movie Night [K-Month]: King Kong (1976)


In the absolutely bonkers science-fiction film Pacific Rim (del Toro, 2013), the monstrous Kaiju first attacked humanity on 10th August 2013, which was subsequently branded “K-DAY”. To celebrate this event, and giant monster movies, I’m dedicating every Sunday in August to one of cinema’s most prolific monsters: King Kong!


Released: 17 December 1976
Director: John Guillermin
Distributor: Paramount Pictures
Budget: $23 to 24 million
Stars: Jeff Bridges, Jessica Lange, Charles Grodin, Rick Baker/William Shepard/Peter Cullen, and René Auberjonois

The Plot:
Ruthless oil executive Fred S. Wilson (Grodin) discovers a primitive world ruled by the giant ape “Kong” (Baker/Cullen/Shepard). When the beast kidnaps beautiful castaway Dwan (Lange), stowaway primate palaeontologist Jack Prescott, (Bridges) tries to save her amidst Wilson’s plot to commercialise the creature.

The Background:
As hard as it may be to believe, it was nearly a hundred years ago that filmmaker, adventurer, and former World War I aviator Merian C. Cooper dreamed up the iconic visual of a giant gorilla ascending the Empire State Building and wowed audiences with King Kong (Cooper and Schoedsack, 1933), largely regarded as one of the most influential movies of all time. Amazingly, King Kong was followed by a sequel that very same year, though Son of Kong (Schoedsack, 1933) leaned more into comedy and largely divided critics. After a planned revival fell through in the 1960s, the concept and character were repurposed into a battle against Godzilla, much to Cooper’s displeasure, resulting in a profitable but divisive clash. After a stint in animation, King Kong returned to cinema screens for a loose tie-in, King Kong Escapes (Honda, 1967), a much-maligned entry that ended Toho’s brief stint with the legendary ape monster. About ten years later, the idea of a then-modern remake was pitched, though there are conflicting reports about who we have to thank for this: some say it was Michael Eisner and veteran producer Dino De Laurentiis, while De Laurentiis claims it was all his idea. Regardless, Paramount Pictures financed the project and De Laurentiis worked with screenwriter Lorenzo Semple Jr. to update the story to focus on the energy crisis and culminate at the World Trade Center. To save on costs, all dinosaurs were omitted and an elaborate suit, animatronic, and puppets were used in place of laborious stop-motion techniques. Special effect artist Carlo Rambaldi constructed an impressive £500,000 mechanical Kong that infamously failed to work when the cameras rolled, forcing the production to rely on what Rick Baker saw as an inferior suit. Thousands of onlookers flocked to the World Trade Center for the dramatic finale, many being paid to be extras, and an extended cut of the film was assembled for home media. King Kong was largely praised for revamping the original unorthodox love story and for its impressive practical effects, though it’s also been criticised for its janky editing and composition and its strange balance of humour and drama. Though De Laurentiis was disappointed by the film’s $90.6 million box office, a critically and commercially panned sequel followed ten years later and the franchise remained dormant until Peter Jackson’s big-budget remake in 2005.

The Review:
Though it’s narratively very similar to the classic 1933 original, this King Kong separates itself in a few ways to put a different spin on the formula. I don’t mind this so much as I’ve always argued that remakes should try to do something new with their properties rather than being shot-for-shot or beat-for-beat recreations. In this case, we’re not following an adventurous film crew and their misadventures on Skull Island, but instead Fred Wilson, executive of the childishly named Petrox Oil Company, who assembles a crew to sail to an uncharted island. Since Petrox has been in a slump and the world is facing an energy crisis – and competition from other oil and petrol sellers is high – Wilson is banking everything on claiming a hitherto-undiscovered oil reserve on the mysterious Skull Island. Thanks to paying off an unnamed official in Washington, D.C., Wilson obtains top secret satellite imagery of the island which, as his resident science expert Roy Bagley (Auberjonois) explains, reveals the landmass hidden by a thick and mysterious fog. Their data indicates that the island is rich in oil and other minerals and Wilson is determined to get his hands on it to turn Petrox’s fortunes around, though stowaway associate professor Jack Prescott offers another, far more sinister perspective on the island. Prescott talks of journals and other evidence indicating that the island is not only inhabited, but ruled over by some gigantic, unknowable beast and attempts to persuade Wilson of Skull Island’s dangers and to let him join the expedition out of sheer scientific curiosity. Believing he has the inside track on Skull Island, Wilson is naturally sceptical and accuses Prescott of being a spy from a rival oil company, ordering Captain Ross (John Randolph) to lock the troublemaker up and doing a deep dive into Prescott’s background to figure out who he is. When this only corroborates Jack’s story, Wilson reluctantly allows him to join the crew as their official photographer but, for a good while, the two seemingly reach a mutual respect, especially when leading their later rescue mission.

Wilson’s search for oil and Jack’s awkward romance are scuppered by a giant, horny ape!

This comes about when Wilson’s ship happens upon a stray life raft carrying beautiful aspiring actress Dwan, who was left adrift when her yacht  suddenly exploded. Dwan joins the crew as something of a mascot and a fancy, immediately catching Prescott’s eye and flirting with him, sharing her dreams of being a big star. While the romance angle was extremely rushed in the original film, I understood it as the film was much shorter and that was in keeping with the style at the time. Here, I’m not sure why Jack is so smitten with Dwan beyond her looks as she’s a bit of an airhead who wanders around with big doe eyes, chattering about her dreams, blabbering about how beautiful things are, completely oblivious to obvious dangers and being painfully naïve. Though she’s more likely to babble about her star sign than anything meaningful, it seems Prescott is captivated by her whimsical, carefree nature and he becomes very protective of her, as does the rest of the crew since she’s initially ordered to stay behind when they reach Skull Island. Instead, she accompanies the group and, predictably, observes the native’s rituals with a naïve wonder compared to Prescott’s more measured caution. When the tribe’s shaman (Keny Long) spots her, he immediately orders (in his native tongue) for her to be handed over as a sacrifice to their God, even offering six of the native women in return for Dwan, though both Prescott and Wilson naturally decline. This sees the natives kidnap Dwan in the dead of night and force her to be strung up as Kong’s latest bride and, like Prescott, Kong is immediately taken by the blonde-haired maiden. Dwan is helpless in Kong’s grasp, resorting to screaming and begging and then lashing out in fear and anger since she’s afraid of heights. Not wishing to anger the beast, whom she and Wilson believe intends to eat her, Dwan tries to soothe him with kind words, though her attempts to flee fail and she’s reduced to a mere damsel in distress. This gives Jack the chance to step up as he leads the rescue mission, exasperated by Wilson being more concerned with his oil (which turns out to still be gestating and thus unsuitable for mining), though he’s ultimately left to rescue Dwan alone when Kong kills most of the rescue party.

Though a king in his native land, Kong’s reduced to a wild animal by Wilson’s theatrics.

Since his plan has gone awry, Wilson comes up with a new plot to capture Kong and parade him around the United States as Petrox’s mascot. After calling in some supplies, he orders Captain Ross and his men to prepare an elaborate trap rather than send out a search party, digging a huge pit to chloroform the giant ape. While Kong’s busy battling a giant snake, Prescott grabs Dwan and bring her back to the native’s village. However, when the angered Kong pursues, he falls into Wilson’s trap and is soon being transported to America. The gas and lack of food and water take their toll on Kong, who sits heartbroken and throws a tantrum as they near the mainland, with his rage only soothed by Dwan. Once they reach America, Wilson turns from a greedy but otherwise reasonable man into a full-blown megalomaniac as he wins over Dwan by casting her in the lead role in Petrox’s new advertising campaign to recreate her time on Skull Island before the braying masses as Kong is held in chains. While Prescott initially signs on for this, his moral compass sees him reject the offer and urge Dwan to leave with him, but she’s so obsessed with being a star that she can’t turn Wilson down. While Dwan is terrified of Kong, she feels a great deal of sympathy for him and puts her life on the line to calm him when he threatens to sink the boat. Similarly, she begs Kong not to let her go in the finale so he’ll be spared death and even Jack is cheering Kong by the end after he’s double-crossed. Thanks to his extremely expressive face, Kong is more human and emotive than ever, showing great affection, pain, and anger as required. Though revered as a God by the natives, Prescott sees Kong as a unique species that needs to be preserved. He’s aware of the beast’s danger and desperate to get Dwan away from him, but constantly advocates for Kong to be left unharmed and is deeply disturbed when Wilson takes Kong from his homeland.

The Nitty-Gritty:
One of the things I love about the original King Kong is how it moves at a brisk pace and yet still showcases a lot of amazing effects and action. The romance subplot is hammy, for sure, but it’s all in good fun. Sadly, this King Kong suffers from a bloated runtime. It’s not as bad as the next remake, but the film chugs along at a snail’s pace, spending way too much time on the boat and trying to make us care about the blossoming attraction between Jack and Dwan. While Bridges and Lange have chemistry, Dwan’s portrayed as such a fickle and flighty bimbo that I find it hard to believe Jack could stand being with her beyond a quick bunk up. Hell, he even says to her (after she interrupts their desperate escape from Kong’s rampage for a drink) that she’d quickly grow bored of him since he can’t afford to keep her in the lifestyle she’s accustomed to. While she seems to genuinely deny this, I’m on Jack’s side here; Dwan would be seeking the next thrill after a month or two, for sure. I enjoyed Grodin’s bombastic performance as Wilson, who becomes quite affable during the second act but quickly descends into a spiteful villain who cares only about making a theatrical showcase of Kong. Having sacrificed many lives and shown a complete disregard for others, and Kong’s welfare (seriously, how did the big ape survive the trip back to America?), it’s only fitting that Wilson goes out in the stupidest way possible: running right into Kong and being crushed under his foot, despite him literally being able to flee in any direction! The natives don’t get much play here and disappear after sacrificing Dwan, but they’re portrayed as a stereotypical, primitive tribe who seek only to appease their God. They regularly repair the great wall to keep Kong out and send him women to satisfy his needs and Jack states that the tribe will most likely be disillusioned and downcast after they kidnap their deity.

While Kong is impressive, the effects don’t land or age as well as the ambitious original.

Though comprised of various real-world locations and elaborate sets, Skull Island isn’t as impressive as in the original film as this King Kong chooses not to have dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures on the island. Indeed, the only other giant creature is a massive snake that Kong awkwardly wrestles with, which is a shame as I would’ve much rather seen more time spent exploring the island’s dangers than trapped on the boat with these assholes. Skull Island’s threat is thus in its landscape, which is comprised of a thick jungle and deep chasms and Kong who, despite his obnoxiously loud roar and thundering footsteps, can apparently sneak up out of nowhere and send Jack’s rescue party plummeting from their log bridge. As you’d expect, Kong is the film’s most impressive aspect and the suit really does look amazing. Kong towers over the miniatures and has a far greater range of movement than stop motion can provide, though he looks janky and awkward when briefly substituted for a robotic duplicate or filmed against rear projection. There’s obviously a lot of that (and forced perspective) here and it hasn’t aged as well as the black and white original, which gets more slack due to being limited by the technology of the time. Here, it’s painfully obvious when a giant Kong hand is holding Dwan before a projection of Kong and when Kong is smashing through miniatures. To be fair, these look far more impressive during Kong’s rampage through New York City, where he overturns a train and terrorises the public, though he looks extremely ungainly when climbing the World Trade Center. Kong’s most impressive feature is his highly expressive face, which sees him gaze upon Dwan with lovesick eyes, glare at people when they shoot him, and illicit a great deal of sympathy when trapped on the ship or suffering mortal wounds. Kong’s definitely more human than in the original, standing upright and lumbering about like a man, though the little head tilts and constant roaring tie into his animal side, as does his confusion and rage when surrounded by the unfamiliar sights and sounds of New York City.

Kong’s rampage is tragically ended in spectacularly gory fashion!

Remarkably, despite being unprepared for Skull Island’s true danger and having lost the chance to rape its oil deposits, Wilson snatches victory from the jaws of defeat by hastily trapping Kong. Being drugged, malnourished, and separated from his land and new love seems to physically drain Kong, allowing him to be chained up in a seemingly inescapable cage and paraded before the masses amidst Petrox’s massive billboards. However, Kong’s rage is stoked when reporters rush Dwan and push her about, giving him the strength to break free and rum amok, crushing people under his feet and terrorising the streets in his pursuit of her. While Jack gets Dwan to safety, she randomly demands a drink, sure that the river will deter the ape, and is naturally snatched by Kong when he simply wades through the water without issue. Luckily for Dwan, Prescott intuits that Kong will be drawn to the World Trade Center since the Twin Towers resemble a rock formation on Skull Island. Though Jack barters with the city officials to take Kong alive, he’s immediately double-crossed when soldiers shoot flamethrowers at Kong. Though unable to reach the roof of the South Tower, Jack’s even more helpless when Kong leaps to the North Tower, kills his assailants, and is approached by three attack choppers. Though the pilot (George Whiteman) orders his men not to fire with Dwan in the ape’s hand, Kong seemingly recognises the threat and accepts his fate, placing the aghast Dwan on the roof and prepares to face his attackers. While Kong does take a couple of the choppers down when they fly a little too close, he’s basically dead meat the moment they fire their massive chain guns. It’s honestly disturbing seeing bloody chunks and spray fly from Kong’s chest, neck, and belly and seeing his fur matted by gore, his breathing becoming more laboured and his screams more anguished as he’s riddled by seemingly explosive bullets. In the end, the assault is too much and Kong collapses first to the roof and then to the ground below. As reporters clamber on his prone body and Dwan desperately tries to comfort him, Kong’s heart slowly beats to a stop. The masses celebrate, jostling Dwan about and trying to snap her picture, all while a despondent Jack looks on, unable (and seemingly unwilling) to reach her.

The Summary:
This is the King Kong I grew up with. As a kid, I remember being awestruck by the Kong suit, which still holds up really well and is a fantastic way to give Kong more movement and expression than stop-motion or animatronics. While he lacks a lot of the charm of the original and doing a man-in-a-suit might seem a bit cheap, Kong is still incredibly impressive, especially his emotions and face, and he’s only let down by some dodgy rear projection and questionable performances. I didn’t mind Jeff Bridges here, he took the lead pretty well and seemed very charismatic, but he had more chemistry with Charles Grodin than Jessica Lange. Dwan is one of the weakest aspects of the film, being a shallow and wholly uninteresting character who seems too fickle and flighty for Jack to waste his time on. Wilson was great as a bombastic, greedy antagonist who takes any opportunity to turn his fortunes around. Sadly, King Kong is a slog to watch, with the film dragging on and offering little but a dull romance sub-plot and actors fumbling about on a jungle set. Things pick up in the finale but, by then, I wouldn’t blame you if you’d tapped out from boredom as the film lacks the magic of the original and doesn’t pace out its set pieces well. It’s a shame as I have fond memories of this one from my childhood but this King Kong is tough to rewatch, despite how unsettling the ending is and its ambitious suit effects.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever seen the this 1976 remake of King Kong? If so, did you like it and how do you think it compares against the original and other King Kongs? What did you think to the suit effects and animatronics? Were you disappointed we didn’t get more giant monsters on Skull Island? Did you also find the film boring at times? What did you think to the changes it made to the original? Which version of Kong is your favourite and how are you celebrating K-Day this month? Whatever your thoughts on King Kong, Kaiju, or monster movies in general, leave a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other King Kong and Kaiju content!

Movie Night: The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Released: 25 July 2025
Director: Matt Shakman
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Budget: $200 million
Stars:
Pedro Pascal, Vanessa Kirby, Joseph Quinn, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, Julia Garner, and Ralph Ineson

The Plot:
On a 1960s-inspired retro-futuristic parallel Earth, the celebrated superpowered adventures, the Fantastic Four, are called to save the world when a mysterious silver entity (Garner) heralds the arrival of the planet-consuming Galactus (Ineson).

The Background:
Considering the controversy behind the creation of Marvel’s dysfunctional First Family of superheroes, it’s poetic that Stan Lee and Jack Kirby’s colourful adventurers have had some ups and downs on the big screen. German producer Bernd Eichinger’s first attempt at an adaptation saw the production shut down and the negatives confiscated, Tim Story’s efforts were modest successes met with mixed reviews, and Josh Trank’s gritty reboot was a universally panned box office flop. 20th Century Fox thus quietly removed a sequel from their slate and the characters became the property of Marvel Studios when Disney purchased 20th Century Fox in 2017, eventually leading to a new reboot set in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). MCU head honcho Kevin Feige was excited to do the characters justice and Jon Watts was initially tapped to direct, before stepping away from superhero films and being replaced by Matt Shakman, who was attracted to the sci-fi elements and family dynamic. Although John Krasinski and Chris Evans portrayed variants of Doctor Reed Richards/Mister Fantastic and Johnny Storm/The Human Torch in the MCU, Pedro Pascal took over as Reed after an extensive search and Joseph Quinn took on Johnny. The filmmakers went to great lengths to find the perfect actress for Susan Storm/The Invisible Woman, attracted mindless bigots by featuring the Shalla-Bal incarnation of the Silver Surfer, and surprised audiences by including Galactus right away. Pitched as a retro-futuristic family drama, the film chose to gloss over the team’s origin and utilise practical effects wherever possible, leading to star Ralph Ineson being fitted into a fully practical armoured suit to portray the world-devourer. Alongside a box office gross of over $470 million, The Fantastic Four: First Steps broke the trend of its predecessors by being widely praised. Reviews praised that the film jumped right into the action with a pre-established team, the unique setting of the movie, and the riveting performances by the lead actors.

The Review:
In keeping with the whole “Multiverse Saga” the MCU was going through at the time, The Fantastic Four: First Steps takes place on an alternative version of Earth, Earth-828, a world that’s essentially a live-action version of The Jetsons (1962 to 1963; 1985 to 1987). This world is very much trapped in the swinging sixties, but with a super fun sci-fi twist. Flying cars are everywhere and the Fantastic Four’s Baxter Building is kitted out with all sorts of funky, throwback tech, including their adorable and much appreciate robot helper, Humanoid Experimental Robot B-Type Integrated Electronics/H.E.R.B.I.E. (Matthew Wood). This world doesn’t seem to have any superheroes apart from the titular team, who are so beloved and world renowned that they’ve monopolised space travel and saved the world countless times from the likes of the sadly excised Ivan Kragoff/Red Ghost (John Malkovich) and the maniacal Harvey Elder/Mole Man (Paul Walter Hauser). The Fantastic Four are more than just superheroes, though; they’re celebrities and even politicians, establishing the “Future Foundation” to share their knowledge with other world leaders and broker peace dealers while also hosting science programmes and advertising products. In a welcome change of pace, their origin is largely glossed over with a montage: four years ago, Doctor Reed Richards (Pascal) led his wife, Susan Storm (Kirby), her hotshot brother Johnny (Quinn), and ace pilot Benjamin “Ben” Grimm (Moss-Bachrach) on a space expedition and, due to an unforeseen event, the group were forever changed by cosmic radiation. In another nice change of pace, the team has been active for four years at the start of the film and well acclimatised to both their powers and their celebrity status. Thus, while it’s clear Mister Fantastic still carries a lot of guilt for his friend’s transformation into a gruesome rock-thing (and it’s implied this is why the team hasn’t returned to space since their ill-fated voyage), Ben has accepted his appearance and is a cherished national treasure.

The dynamic between the team is not only at the forefront, but better and richer than ever before.

As the team live in the limelight, it’s no surprise that the world is deeply invested in the Invisible Woman’s surprise pregnancy, an event that brings Reed much joy but also sees his over analytical brain kick into overdrive babyproofing the building and running countless tests to ensure their baby hasn’t been negatively affected by their mutated DNA. This concern also comes from a place of guilt (he clearly worries his mistakes may harm Sue and the baby) but also doubt as he finds himself out of his depth concerning fatherhood and Reed, being the smartest man alive, is thrown off when he doesn’t know all the answers. The Human Torch and the Thing delight in ribbing Reed about this, which is just one way First Steps perfectly captures the spirit of these characters being more than a team: they’re a family. Rather than Johnny being a mean-spirited prankster or an egotistical skirt-chaser, he’s seen to be surprisingly smart in his won right, approaching problems from a different angle and figuring out a way to communicate with the implacable Shalla-Bal/Silver Surfer when she comes heralding the destruction of the world. While Johnny and Ben bicker at times, it’s nowhere near as hostile as in previous films and is very light-hearted, with Johnny giving backhanded compliments about Ben’s rock beard that see him rock the unconventional look. The group has fantastic chemistry together, with Reed and Sue working perfectly as a duo and yet still butting heads when contemplating Galactus’s outrageous demands. Nowhere is the team’s dynamic more apparent than when they take the Excelsior into space to confront Galactus and work in harmony to guide and maintain the ship. Later, they work in unison to collaborate with the world’s governments on defence plans, though they constantly underestimate Johnny and are therefore stunned when he figures out the Silver Surfer’s native tongue and attempts to parlay with her.

When the Silver Surfer heralds Galactus, the team desperately try to find solutions to the threat.

The Fantastic Four’s elation at their pending arrival is dashed when the Silver Surfer suddenly arrives to warn the planet of its eventual destruction at the hands of Galactus. While immediately smitten by the stoic, metallic alien, Johnny tirelessly goes over recordings to learn her origin and try to save the world from another angle. With the world under threat, Reed reluctantly agrees to refit the Excelsior and utilise his faster-than-light technology to get intel on Galactus, assuring the world that they will confront and defeat the treat as ever. Despite Sue being heavily pregnant, she joins them for the jaunt, arriving in time to see a faraway world decimated by Galactus’s titanic world-breaker. The Silver Surfer greets them and dispassionately allows them to converse with her master, easily evading their futile attacks and chasing them through a wormhole when they flee following Galactus’s demands, yet she vehemently defends her master when the team oppose him. It’s only when Johnny reminds her of her tragic past and the bargain she made with Galactus, and the countless lives she’s ended in serving him, that the Silver Surfer is taken off the board (no pun intended). Rather than being some stupid space cloud or shying away from his outrageous appearance, Galactus is a towering, God-like celestial being who is intrigued by the Fantastic Four’s curiosity and bravery but nonetheless determined to devour their world since he’s driven by an insatiable hunger. However, Galactus offers to spare the Earth if the four hand over Sue’s child. Franklin (Various/Ada Scott), whom the world-eater sees is a being of such vast cosmic power that he could be his successor. Naturally, Sue and the others strongly reject this offer, causing the world to turn against them since they refuse to sacrifice one life for billions. While Sue is outraged that Reed would even consider the possibility of acquiescing, he steadfastly refuses to entertain the idea, and she eventually placates the masses with the promise that the team will do whatever it takes to fend off the looming threat.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I was surprised to find that First Steps is sent entirely on Earth-828 and that the team appear to be natives of this world. I suspected that they would’ve been trapped there somehow and even speculated that they’d fail to save their world and be driven to the mainstream MCU by the end. Instead, the Fantastic Four inhabit this retro sci-fi world and act is its guardians and leaders, with the Thing exchanging pleasantries with the Yancy Street locals, Sue acting as a diplomat, Johnny being a poser boy, and Reed teaching science. This world has become so reliant on the fantastic Four that they’re almost powerless without them as they dictate politics and defend the masses from numerous supervillains. The world is thus amazed to learn that the team couldn’t defeat Galactus and turn to anger and resentment when a shellshocked Reed makes the bizarre choice to tell them of Galactus’s demands. This raises many ethical and moral quandaries that the film briefly touches upon, with the public largely calling for Franklin to be sacrificed and the team desperately exploring other options. Reed finds himself at a loss to think of alternative plans but ultimately embraces the uncertainty about Franklin’s destiny and fatherhood, taking inspiration from Sue’s speech to adapt his teleportation technology in a desperate bid to move the Earth. This sees the second act of the film emulate classic doomsday movies as the team scramble to assemble giant devices and conserve energy to enact the plan, only for it to be immediately undone when the besmirched Silver Surfer returns from a black hole and wrecks their toys. I love seeing Reed’s hopeless desperation as he struggles to conjure up the formulas to present alternatives, and that Ben and Johnny remained optimistic, searching for other ways to defend themselves and eager to take the fight to Galactus if necessary.

For the first time, these bizarre characters were done justice in live-action.

Though it’s a shame the Fantastic Four aren’t based in the mainstream MCU, this unique world allows them to take centre stage and steal the show. For the first time since the 1994 movie, the team have been ripped right out of the comic books, sporting throwback outfits that appear functional and comfortable. While I usually prefer practical suits wherever possible, the Thing has never looked better, perfectly emulating Jack Kirby’s art style and sporting some nifty threads throughout the film (including his iconic trenchcoat and hat). While First Steps largely deals with the interpersonal drama between the team and preparing for Galactus’s arrival, they do get a chance to shine in fun montages, including a recreation of their first appearance and numerous good deeds. Of all the team, Sue really impressed here. Not only was she a strong-willing and believable matriarch and team member, but she displayed some awesome feats of power, being so desperate to protect Franklin that she threw even mighty Galactus off-balance. Sue’s powers are represented wonderfully here, appearing as shimmering tricks of light rather than cartoonish bubbles or blue aura, while Johnny’s flame effects also looked better than ever. Reed was a little short-changed as his stretching powers are used sparingly, but his genius intellect and leadership skills were emphasised instead. Reed is a little awkward and analytical at times, but he also isn’t afraid to tackle Galactus when diplomacy fail, strategically targeting vents on the giant’s back to slow him down and get his attention. Reed’s smarts also enable the construction of the main generators the team initially hope to use to teleport Earth to safety, led to the creation of the versatile H.E.R.B.I.E., and see the team fly around in a super sleek modified Firebird IV. However, it was Galactus that caused me to smile from ear to ear as we finally got to see him in all his glory and watching him nonchalantly stride through the streets of New York City, absently swatting away the Fantastic Four’s attacks, was like seeing Alex Ross’s beautiful artwork come to life.

After refusing Galactus’s demands, the team pushes their fantastic abilities to the limit to fend him off.

Desperate to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve handing their newborn son over to a cosmic being, Reed hits upon the idea of co-ordinating the world’s resources into building teleporter relays to get the Earth to safety. When the Silver Surfer destroys all but one of these and flees after being grief-stricken by the Human Torch, Sue begrudgingly agrees to use Franklin as bait and the team enact a risky plan to first convince the Mole Man to shelter the city’s inhabitants and then lure Galactus onto the teleporter pad and send him to parts unknown. At first, the plan works: Galactus heads to baby Franklin despite the obvious signs of a trap, barely registering when the team attack him. Thanks to Sue’s forcefield, Johnny temporarily blinds Galactus, allowing Franklin to be switched for a decoy. Right at the last second, almighty Galactus senses something’s wrong and reacquires his target, easily snatching Franklin from the Baxter Building and finally readying himself to be free of his cursed existence. In a fit of motherly rage, Sue unleashes her full power upon Galactus, restraining him long enough for Reed to rescue the baby and then overexerting herself to force Galactus into the teleporter. When Galactus attempts to reemerge in a rage, Johnny prepares to sacrifice himself for his family, only for the Silver Surfer to take his place, determined to atone for presumably eons of death caused by her master. Though Galactus and the Silver Surfer are teleported away, Sue’s efforts prove fatal and, despite Reed’s desperate attempts, she dies on the street. However, it turns out Franklin really does have some cosmic significance as his mere touch brings Sue back to life, much to the relief of her family. Although the team is uncertain what the future holds for Franklin, they resolve to face it together and spend the next four years raising him as a normal boy, only for Sue to be shocked when a cloaked, iron-masked figure (Robert Downey Jr.) suddenly appears before the boy in the mid-credits sequence…

The Summary:
I was really looking forward to The Fantastic Four: First Steps and the team’s introduction to the MCU, having previously speculated on casting and the direction the film should go. While the movie obviously went in a very different direction, I think this was for the best as it allowed the movie to be solely focused on the team, their relationship with each other, and how they react to the crisis at hand. The retro sci-fi aesthetic of Earth-828 resulted in a unique visual treat, one that expertly brings Jack Kirby’s characteristic art to life while also showcasing the Fantastic Four’s incredible powers.  was surprised, maybe even sceptical, when Galactus was chosen as the antagonist, but I was so happy to finally see him brought to life with near-perfect fidelity to the source material. Depicted as a somewhat tragic and apathetic force of nature, Galactus simply is and I really enjoyed how disinterested he was in “little people”, at least until he senses Franklin’s awesome potential. The sense of scale given to Galactus was honestly awe-inspiring and terrifying and it was super fitting to see the middle half of the film resemble end of the world movies. I also liked the twist of using Shalla-Bal as the Silver Surfer and Julia Garner captured the tortured essence of the herald well. The chemistry between the four leads was easily the best we’ve ever seen from live-action interpretations of the characters, with them portrayed as a well-established and celebrated group and a functioning team and family dynamic. I loved the changes made to Johnny’s character, how he was a quick study and not just some hotshot with a hard on, and that Ben had fully come to terms with his position while still showcasing some regret when tempted by beautiful schoolteacher Rachel Rozman (Natasha Lyonne). Reed and Sue were the main draws for me, though. Sue was such a strong character, both in her convictions and her raw power, and I loved seeing Reed struggle with considering the worst decisions and being at a loss to think of alternatives. For me, this was the most faithful filmic adaptation of Marvel’s First Family to date, one that perfectly represented their unique family dynamics and presented them as an intelligent, quirky, and formidable team to hopefully make an unforgettable impact in the wider MCU.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy The Fantastic Four: First Steps? How do you think it compared against the previous live-action films? Were you surprised to find it set on an alternative Earth? Did you enjoy the cast, their chemistry, and the way their powers were represented? Were you glad to see Galactus finally brought to life in full armour? Would you have given up your child to save the world? Where would you like to see the MCU take the Fantastic Four? Let .e know your thoughts on The Fantastic Four: First Steps in the comments, go check out my other Fantastic Four content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to support the site.

Movie Night: Conan the Barbarian (1982)

Released: 14 May 1982
Director: John Milius
Distributor: Tri-Star Pictures
Budget: $20 million
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Earl Jones, Gerry Lopez, Bergman, Ben Davidson, and Mako

The Plot:
Cimmerian barbarian brute Conan (Schwarzenegger) is freed from slavery, falls in with a gang of thieves, and quests for revenge against Thulsa Doom (Jones), the mystical cult leader who slaughtered his family.

The Background:
Readers were first introduced to Robert E. Howard’s Conan in the pages of Weird Tales, after he expanded on the lore while vacationing by repurposing a previously rejected Kull of Atlantis story. Before his unfortunate suicide in 1936, Howard had written twenty-one complete Conan stories, published seventeen of them, and left behind multiple unfinished fragments. Development of a film adaptation can be traced back to the 1970s when, after a lengthy battle, Edward R. Pressman acquired the franchise rights. Eager to helm a Viking-inspired film, director John Milius joined the project (despite having no knowledge of Conan) and Oliver Stone penned a costly script that was reworked after Dino De Laurentiis provided additional funding. After considering Sylvester Stallone and Charles Bronson for the lead, the producers cast relative unknown Arnold Schwarzenegger after being impressed by his bodybuilder physique. In addition to undergoing rigorous training and learning sword fighting for the role, Schwarzenegger was forced to do all his own stunts, resulting in some nasty injuries during filming. The magnetic James Earl Jones was cast as the main antagonist and offered Schwarzenegger many pointers on set and the filmmakers used incredibly detailed miniatures to save money on expensive sets, alongside a large-scale animatronic snake. With a box office of somewhere between $68.9 and 79.1 million, Conan the Barbarian was a modest success met with mixed reviews. While some praised it as a fantasy thriller and championed the gory action, others decried the violence and criticised Schwarzenegger’s performance. Praised for its adaptation of Howard’s writing and for re-popularising the sword-and-sorcery genre, Conan the Barbarian shot Schwarzenegger to superstardom. Unfortunately, its sequel failed to recapture the same success, the 2011 reboot proved unfairly divisive, and a third movie has been stuck in Development Hell for decades.

The Review:
Conan the Barbarian is set during a fictional, lost age of mankind – the “Hyborian Age”, as stated in the books – a time of much conflict and where scattered tribes and pockets of civilisation worshipped many Gods. For young Conan (Jorge Sanz) and his people, the Viking-like Cimmerians, the only God worth talking about is Crom, a miserable, Odin-like figure who sits atop a mountain and actively ignores the prayers of those who worship him. Those who die worshipping Crom must answer a simple question to take a seat in Valhalla: What is the riddle of steel? Conan’s father and tribe leader (William Smith) impresses upon him from a young age how important steel is to their culture, stating that a man can only trust his blade and that steel came about after man harnessed the “secret of fire” following a battle between the Gods and the Great Giants. Conan listens attentively and seems a willing student, yet he can only watch in horror when Thulsa Doom and his cohorts – namely Rexor (Davidson) and Thorgrim (Sven-Ole Thorsen) – suddenly attack their village and slaughter his people. While his father fights valiantly, Conan watches, shielded by his mother (Nadiuska), as he’s mortally wounded by an axe and then torn apart by attack dogs. Thulsa Doom then claims his father’s sword and mesmerises his mother, lopping her head off and forcing the surviving children to toil day and night, through all seasons, pushing the “Wheel of Pain”. This entire opening sequence is conveyed without any dialogue (beyond the wizard Akio’s (Mako) narration and the teachings of Conan’s father), so we don’t learn the reason behind the attack until much later, when a nonplussed Thulsa Doom muses that he once pursued steel before learning of the strength of flesh. This strength comes to be embodied by the largely silent and stoic Conan, who pushes the wheel seemingly non-stop for years, outlasting his peers and growing to maturity as a man so massive and musclebound that he can push the wheel alone without exerting himself. Conan’s seemingly forgotten in that time and is therefore forcibly taken from the wheel and pushed into vicious pit fights where he quickly gains acclaim as a natural gladiator and efficient killer.

From orphan to gladiator to warrior, Conan’s life of hardship prepares him for battle.

Turning a profit for his captors, Conan is afforded  luxuries like language and writing, beautiful women to “breed” with, and training from master swordsmen. Eventually, Conan earns his freedom and is let loose into the wilderness, with no home and little understanding of anything other than violence. Chased by wild dogs, he stumbles into the tomb of a long-dead warrior and acquires a sword, garbing himself in wolf skin and embarking on a quest to track down those responsible for the death of his people. All he knows is Thulsa Doom’s symbol (“two snakes coming together… facing each other… but they’re one!”) but, luckily for him, an extremely horny and animalistic witch (Cassandra Gaviola) points him in the right direction… “for a price!” Conan’s mission is one of vengeance; he wants the man who killed his parents and stole his father’s sword, and braves any hardship without fear to accomplish this goal. A towering man-mountain, Conan is effectively superhuman at times, easily sprinting long distances while carrying his gear and besting multiple enemies not just with his incredible strength, but his skill with a blade. Conan is described as a barbarian but isn’t just some mindless brute; he’s more of a nomad, with allegiance to none other than himself. He’s a man of great honour and loyalty, however, and is surprisingly affectionate towards women (unless he’s drunk, and then they’re “all sluts!”) Conan becomes more loquacious and carefree after meeting Subotai (Lopez), a thief and archer he quickly befriends despite them worshipping different Gods, and who teaches him to be a thief. Subotai’s far less serious than his cohort, unless it comes to jewels and gold, though he aids Conan in investigating the Thulsa Doom cult. This leads them to cross paths with fearless fellow thief Valeria (Bergman) and King Osric (Max Von Sydow), a burned-out monarch who’s impressed by their gall at defying the much-feared death cult. Their raid gives Conan a rare chance to come out of his shell as he tosses his jewels around and indulges in alcohol and passionate sex with Valeria, only for his revelry to comically take a toll on him. When brought before King Osric, Conan shows visible shame for his actions but gladly accepts the king’s plea to rescue his wayward daughter, Princess Yasmina (Valérie Quennessen), from Thulsa Doom.

Conan’s colourful allies not only aid him in a fight but also help to humanise the stoic barbarian.

Subotai and Valeria are not so keen to get involved however, so the stoic Conan infiltrates Thusla Doom’s temple alone. Along the way, he bumps into Akio, an eccentric and aged wizard who keeps a tentative commune with the Gods and offers Conan some advice. When he’s discovered, beaten, and brought to Thulsa Doom a blood mess, Conan’s angered to learn that his lifelong vendetta is of little consequence to Thulsa Doom, who callously dismisses and lectures the barbarian on the superiority of flesh over steel. Thulsa Doom orders Conan to be crucified and, by the time Subotai tracks him down, the barbarian is near death. Desperate to save her man, Valeria first begs and then threatens Akio to pull any mystical strings he can, gladly prepared to pay the “price” the Gods demand for sending wrathful spirits to heal Conan. Fully restored, Conan continues his quest, seemingly set on murdering Thulsa Doom but ultimately heeding Subotai’s reasoning and simply rescuing Princess Yasmina from the Temple of Set. However, Thulsa Doom’s retaliation is swift and brutal as he fires a snake like an arrow and mortally wounds Valeria. Though Conan’s creed means he’s incapable of showing true emotion regarding his lover’s death (hence why Subotai “[cries] for him”), he visibly mourns her, ensures she gets a proper send-off, and is clearly enraged by her death. His subsequent retaliation sees him lure Rexor, Thorgrim, and Thulsa Doom’s disposable soldiers into a confrontation. In this instance, Conan fights with his head rather than pure, brute strength and he and his remaining allies triumph through wiles, determination, specially laid traps…and a touch of divine intervention as Valeria briefly returns as a Valkyrie to make good on her promise to fight by her lover’s side in the event of her death.

The strange and enigmatic Thulsa Doom is bolstered by mindless slaves and soldiers.

Although much of Conan the Barbarian is very grounded (people talk of Gods but they’re largely absent, save of Valeria’s brief return), there are supernatural elements here, specifically regarding Thulsa Doom. Said to be thousands of years old, Thulsa Doom is an enigmatic and mysterious individual who boasts hypnotic powers that work in tandem with his silver tongue to brainwash countless numbers into become his slaves, followers, and soldiers. Initially, Thulsa Doom seems merely a raider, slaughtering people, stealing their steel, and using their children as slaves. Thulsa Doom seems nonplussed by his actions and even somewhat bored during the sacking of Conan’s village, leaving the heavy lifting to Rexor and Thorgrim, and basically never needs to take up a blade since his hypnotic eyes leave all powerless before his gaze. While Conan grows and embarks on his quest, Thulsa Doom builds a feared and oppressive cult worshipping the snake-God Set, and spends his days overseeing orgies and twisting people to his whims. While we never learn the source of his power or much about him, Thulsa Doom reveals that he once coveted the “Riddle of Steel”, as the Cimmerians did, and ultimately found that flesh had more power over steel. Thulsa Doom’s subsequent exploration of the flesh sees him brainwash even princesses into concubines so blindly loyal that they call him “father” and hang on his every word, die in his name (or at his command), and are seemingly willing to commit mass suicide to embrace the ”emptiness” he often touts. Though Thulsa Doom carries blades, he rarely uses them. Instead, he relies on his mysterious command over snakes, firing them as arrows and even transforming  into one. Thorgrim echoes his master’s love of snakes, raising a giant serpent to guard Thulsa Doom’s greatest treasures and flying into a rage after Conan hacks the creature to pieces. Indeed, both Rexor and Thorgrim take after Conan with a vengeance after being repeatedly humiliated by him. Armed with a giant Warhammer and Conan’s father’s sword, respectively, the two largely silent henchmen are formidable warriors and carry their master’s standard into battle, though are ultimately deemed as worthless to Thulsa Doom as any of his underlings.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve never read any of the Conan books or even the comics. My knowledge of the character is exclusively limited to the films, though I have heard that Conan the Barbarian has more in common with Robert E. Howard’s other pulp creation, Kull the Conqueror. However, I am a big Arnold Schwarzenegger fan and Conan was one of the first (if not the first) films of his I saw as a kid. However, I’ve not always been its biggest fan. The film’s a bit too long and drags quite a lot. It doesn’t help that there isn’t much dialogue, especially from Conan, which may be off-putting for some. It certainly gives the film a moody, introspective atmosphere, one bolstered by the late, great Basil Poledouris’ thumping orchestra. I also appreciate that much of the nuance is conveyed through body language, but it does make Conan a less attractive watch than some of Schwarzenegger’s other films. Still, he looks phenomenal here, swelling with muscles and yet swinging his sword with a deftness and skill that’s almost unmatched. Though Conan is a stoic and silent character, he showcases a fair bit of personality at times, especially with Subotai or when seducing women. Conan has a very charismatic presence that instantly catches the eye, and is absolutely merciless in a fight, cutting down foes with a near-superhuman strength and coming out of every encounter unscathed. Yet, he remains vulnerable, as seen when he’s beaten and tortured basically to death by Thulsa Doom’s minions. This is the only time we see Conan as a mere man, bloody and raging at his tormentor, and powerless to fight back. Even when crucified on the tree of wool, Conan fights against a vulture picking at his wounds and, upon being healed by the dark spirits, has only a moment of quiet, internal reflection before returning to his quest for revenge.

The brutal, bloody violence helps break up the slow pacing, and even includes a monstrous snake!

And what a quest it is! Conan the Barbarian is a hell of a bloody time, with blood splattering from neck and gut wounds in nearly every fight and most conflicts seeing limbs and heads being hacked off. Our three anti-heroes show absolutely no mercy to their opponents, whether they’re regular guards or Thulsa Doom’s soldiers, and happily stab them in the neck, cut open their bellies, and bash their heads against stone walls. Conan is depicted as a fierce and formidable fighter when without a weapon, enduring horrific beatings in pit fights and overpowering even heavily armed foes with his superior strength. He knows when to take a stealthier approach and is smart enough to use his environment as a weapon, muscling over a giant cauldron of stew to fend off Thulsa Doom’s soldiers and beating one of his followers to steal his robes. Conan faces a daunting opponent when attacked by Thorgrim’s snake, but it’s one he handily overcomes (with some assistance from Subotai) through sheer tenacity. This is a man who’s spent his entire life fighting and is “survival of the fittest” in physical form, giving Conan incredible endurance both when running and when faced with torture. Yet, even Conan is mortal and can’t take on Thulsa Doom’s entire army. Luckily, Subotai is handy in a fight, attacking from afar with arrows and using stealth and cunning to shop down foes. Valeria is similar as, like Subotai, she can’t rely on brute strength to win the day. Instead, she sticks to the shadows, scales walls using ropes, and utilises disguises to gain an edge. As a more carefree and impulsive spirit, she’s more likely to taunt her opponents to throw them off balance and to throw herself off a building while laughing. Yet, she and Subotai also recognise a good deal and urge Conan to simply take King Osric’s riches and disappear, but Conan refuses, both because of his vendetta and to rescue the princess. While they lose a formidable adversary and close friend when Valeria is killed, Conan, Subotai, and Akiro outfit the area with booby-traps and weapons to whittle down Thulsa Doom’s forces. This is by far the film’s biggest action set piece and sees Conan settle the score with Rexor and Thorgrim, impaling Thorgrim on a massive wooden spike and going toe-to-toe with Rexor. This fight sees Conan briefly overwhelmed but, after Valeria’s spirit buys him some time, he redoubles his attack, shattering his father’s sword and cutting down his foe to avenge his people and being sure to offer praise to Crom after.

A touch of divine intervention sees Conan get his revenge and prepare for greater adventures…

Thulsa Doom’ s campaign sees him spread across the lands like a plague, pillaging and converting over the years until he’s amassed incredible wealth and power. His symbol is feared by many and his actions abhorred, but none, not even King Osric, can stand against him. Conan and his allies, however, have no fear of the cult and strike critical blows against Thulsa Doom by infiltrating his temples, stealing his treasure, killing his giant snake, and kidnapping Princess Yasmina from under his nose. While Thulsa Doom retaliates with a vengeance, his greatest flaw is his arrogance. Seeing himself as an all-powerful messenger for his God, Set, Thulsa Doom is visibly disturbed when Conan and his friends cut down his stories with their traps and weapons. Before fleeing like a coward, Thulsa Doom attempts to execute Yasmina, thereby convincing the princess to lead Conan into the cult leader’s main base after seeing her beloved “father” turn against her so callously. Conan easily slips into the temple via a back entrance as Thulsa Doom prepares his followers to set themselves on fire in hopes of being granted eternal life upon their death. Thanks to his commanding voice and hypnotic powers, they stand as poised to follow his command as the poor girl he convinced to leap to her death earlier. Luckily, Conan confronts him but, rather than being enraged or engaging the barbarian in a sword fight, Thulsa Doom greets his foe as a wayward son. Indeed, Thulsa Doom confidently quells Conan’s rage by claiming that the barbarian would have no purpose if he were to strike down his “father” and, for a moment, Conan seems to be as mesmerised as his mother was in the opening. However, Conan quickly comes to his senses and strikes with the shattered remains of his father’s blade, hacking Thulsa Doom’s head off and tossing it to his stunned followers. Freed from the villain’s spell, the cultists abandon their religion and, after some quiet brooding, Conan sets the temple ablaze and leaves to return Princess Yasmina to her father…and to go on to further adventures!

The Summary:
As I alluded to earlier, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Conan the Barbarian. It’s rare that I make the effort to put it on and, when I do, it’s the kind of movie that demands my attention since you have to endure a lot of long, intense moments without much dialogue or even much happening. Then, it suddenly spikes to eleven and you’ve got blood splattering the camera, brutal sword combat, a giant snake and what-not! Arnold Schwarzenegger gives a commanding performance as the titular Conan, drawing the eye with his impressive, God-like physique and portraying Conan as a fairly nuanced character. He’s a man of few words, unless he’s drunk or totally relaxed and having fun, and a man of unbreakable conviction. He’s determined to avenge his people, no matter the odds, and fights past every obstacle. Even the death of his lover doesn’t break him, so strong is his upbringing and stoic fortitude, and Conan even denounces his cantankerous God when faced with seemingly impossible odds, so powerful is his defiance. Conan’s surrounded by some fun supporting characters: I really enjoyed Mako’s unhinged, scenery-chewing performance as Akio and Subotai made for a likeable and light-hearted counterpart to Conan’s stone-faced resolve. Valeria was also great, being as fierce and formidable as her male peers but also showcasing a devil-may-care attitude and a devotion so strong it allowed her to return from the beyond. Of course, it’s James Earl Jones who steals the show here, delivering a magnetic performance as the mesmerising and callous Thulsa Doom. He demands your attention every time he appears and delivers every line with the right level of silky-smooth, bombastic glee that it’s not hard to see why so many tripped over themselves to follow his every command. The film’s bolstered by an infectious score and some brutal, bloody action sequence, impressive animatronics, sweeping locations, and painstakingly crafted costuming, and there’s even some sex and boobs to keep the slower, more introspective pace moving. It’s not a typical action flick, that’s for sure, and Schwarzenegger is somewhat limited in the role, but he makes up for it with his larger-than-life presence and endlessly quotable lines. While Conan the Barbarian isn’t really a favourite of mine and avid fans of the character may not enjoy how much was changed during the adaptation process, there’s a decent amount to like here if you can give the film your full attention.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you enjoy Conan the Barbarian? If you’re a fan of the books, what did you think of this adaptation and where would you rank it against Arnold’s other films? What did you think of Conan’s portrayal as a stoic and determined warrior? Were you shocked when Valeria died and happy to see her brief return? What did you think of Thulsa Doom, his sway, and this strange ability to turn into a giant snake? Can you answer the Riddle of Steel? How are you celebrating Schwarzenegger’s birthday today and what is your favourite Schwarzenegger film? Whatever you think, go ahead and leave your thoughts below, support the site on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Schwarzenegger content on the site.

Movie Night: Superman

Released: 11 July 2025
Director: James Gunn
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget: $225 million
Stars: David Corenswet, Rachel Brosnahan, Nicholas Hoult, Edi Gathegi, Nathan Fillion, and Gabriela de Faría

The Plot:
When xenophobic madman Lex Luthor (Hoult) orchestrates a smear campaign against and conspires to murder Clark Kent/Superman (Corenswet), the Man of Steel must prove to the world that he is its protector.

The Background:
When Superman was brought to the big-screen with Superman (Donner, 1978), it resulted in a critical and commercial (if chaotic) success. Although this was echoed with Superman II (Lester, 1980), things quickly took a nose dive, despite Christopher Reeve’s iconic performance. After a nearly twenty year hiatus from cinema screens, Bryan Singer tried to to recapture the magic of Richard Donner’s original film with Superman Returns (Singer, 2006), a critical failure that derailed sequel plans and led to Zack Snyder reinventing the character with Man of Steel (Snyder, 2013). Although a box office hit, Man of Steel divided critics and, while Henry Cavill’s portrayal was widely praised, the subsequent DC Extended Universe (DCEU) struggled to find its footing and, despite long-running plans for a Man of Steel sequel and Cavill (eventually) reprising his role, Warner Bros. opted for a complete reboot of the DCEU with James Gunn at the helm. Initially titled Superman: Legacy, the film was the first live-action chapter in Gunn’s DC Universe (DCU) and was inspired by many of Superman’s most beloved stories. This was reflected in the new Super-Suit; designed by Judianna Makovsky, it combined elements from many different comic book sources. With Cavill out, David Corenswet won the role specifically because he embodied Gunn’s vision of a younger, more optimistic interpretation of the character and it was Corenswet who insisted the costume had the iconic red trunks. After missing out on previous DC roles, Nicholas Hoult was cast as Lex Luthor, shaving his head and studying the work of Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely for the role. Gunn chose to skip the origin story and focus on a Superman in a world where costumed heroes are well established and was compelled to include Krypto the Superdog after connecting with his own adopted pup. Despite childish backlash from misguided die-hard Snyder fans, Superman was met with overwhelmingly positive reviews that praised a return to form for the inspirational hero, the action-packed fun, and the heartfelt narrative. Though some criticised the overreliance on CGI and cluttered runtime, Superman made over $560 million at the box office and paved the way for future DCU projects,

The Review:
In a fantastic change of pace for DC’s live-action efforts, Superman takes place in a world where superhuman individuals (or “metahumans”) are not only commonplace but accepted. In James Gunn’s DCU, metahumans have been public knowledge for about 300 years and Superman has been active for at least three by the time the movie starts, dropping us in a world where Guy Gardner/Green Lantern (Fillion), Kendra Saunders/Hawkgirl (Isabela Merced), and Michael Holt/Mister Terrific (Gathegi), the corporate sponsored “Justice Gang”, respond to alien, interdimensional, and metahuman threats alongside the world’s most powerful metahuman, Superman. In another change of pace, Superman distills the origin to a simple line of text and dialogue, giving us a Clark who’s already established as a reporter at the Daily Planet (one known for his exclusive interviews with Superman) and already in a relationship with feisty reporter Lois Lane. This also means that the world is well accustomed to Superman and other metahumans, with the Man of Steel celebrated as a symbol of hope and benevolent protector, though Superman is undergoing some scrutiny at the start of the film (and throughout) for taking it upon himself to intervene in a conflict between warring nations Boravia and Jarhanpur. While Boravian president Vasil Ghurkos (Zlatko Burić) launches a public tirade against Superman, the United States government refuses to act against the Man of Steel without proof of malicious intent, with General Rick Flag Sr. (Frank Grillo) being especially supportive of Superman, though even normal citizens question Superman’s unilateral actions when the “Hammer of Boravia” attacks. When grilled by Lois, Clark vehemently defends himself, claiming he did what was right and intervened to save lives. Thus, Superman sees the good in everyone and who has a very black and white view of the world; he knows what’s right and doesn’t hesitate to use his powers to help those in need.

Superman finds his relationships tested by his determination to put his powers to good use.

This desire stems from a damaged message from his long-dead Kryptonian parents, Jor-El (Bradley Cooper) and Lara Lor-Van (Angela Sarafyan) in which they express their love and hopes for him to serve humanity as a protector. Superman takes great comfort in these words, finding solace in the knowledge that he has a higher purpose even if his people are long dead. Additionally, Clark was raised with the standard virtues of right and wrong associated with the character thanks to his adopted parents, Jonathan and Martha Kent (Pruitt Taylor Vince and Neva Howell), who nurtured his kindly nature and contributed greatly to his characterisation as a loveable goof. Despite his amazing powers, Superman struggles as much as any normal man, constantly swooping in to save those in danger and checking to make sure those around him are okay and always pushing to end conflicts with as little violence and death as possible. He’s therefore irritated when the Justice Gang mortally wound a rampaging kaiju and aghast at the idea that he should just stand back and let people die when he could intervene. While Clark and Lois have a very passionate relationship behind closed doors and keep up the pretence of being bickering co-workers, their views on this matter drive a wedge between them early on. While Clark wears his emotions on his sleeve and expects Lois to cut him some slack, Lois is more hesitant about long-term relationships and isn’t afraid to ask the big questions, even of Superman. Though she considers breaking up with him because of her doubts, Lois not only stands by Superman, she comforts him when Lex Luthor launches a smear campaign against him, and teams with Mr. Terrific to rescue him after he willingly surrenders to the authorities. This comes after Luthor raids his Fortress of Solitude and broadcasts the entirety of his parents’ message, which surprisingly reveals that Kal-El was sent to rule a backwoods people, severely shaking Superman’s outlook on himself and his mission to safeguard his adopted world.

While Lois has a lot to do, even teaming with Mr. Terrific, the rambunctious Krypto steals the show!

Superman may well give Lois more to do than any previous Superman-centric movie as she gives the Justice gang (particularly the conceited Guy Gardner) a grilling for abandoning their friend, braves Luthor’s unstable “pocket dimension” to locate her lover, and even pilots Mr. Terrific’s T-Craft to ferry him around when he’s injured. While Lois doesn’t hold back when questioning Superman, her deep-rooted desire for the truth sees her digging deeper into Luthor’s malicious vendetta against Superman. She’s aided by peppy photographer Jimmy Olson (Skyler Gisondo), who uses his unexpected way with the ladies to convince Luthor’s current squeeze, Eve Teschmacher (Sara Sampaio), to give them the clues to both locate Superman and reveal that Luthor financed Ghurkos in return for half of Boravia. Lois is depicted as more than Superman’s equal, braving any danger for a scoop and meticulously presenting her evidence to crabby Daily Planet editor Perry White (Wendell Pierce), who supports her efforts to expose Luthor as a liar and a traitor. While his people are long gone, Superman’s aided by a handful of robotic helpers at his crystalline Fortress of Solitude and begrudgingly cares for the energetic and disobedient Krypto, the Kryptonian dog of his unruly cousin, Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Milly Alcock). While this isn’t Krypto’s first venture outside of the comic books, he steals the show here with his unruly and feisty behaviour, causing chaos due to his super speed and strength much to Superman’s exasperation as he’s struggled to train the pup. An all-CGI creation (though you’d never know it), Krypto’s an adorable superpup who pounds around in a cape, goes for the face when threatened, and nips at Superman’s heels at every opportunity. Though he reluctantly tolerates the dog, Superman is enraged when Luthor pupnaps Krypto, further damaging his reputation by storming into Lex’s office, and endures horrendous torture at the hands of the reluctant Rex Mason/Metamorpho (Anthony Carrigan) when he surrenders to rescue the dog.

While the Justice Gang’s methods clash with Superman’s, it’s nice to see established metahumans.

Although the Justice Gang are clearly the tools of corporate mogul Maxwell “Max” Lord (Sean Gunn), garbed in uncomfortable matching outfits and showing up to avert any crisis and get some much-needed publicity, they are extremely competent superheroes in their own right. While we don’t get any meaningful backstory on any of them, especially the alluring and deliciously battle hungry Hawkgirl, beyond some snarky comments from Guy about how he was chosen to be a Green Lantern, the team is well established and close enough to Superman to know his true identity. Although Mr. Terrific takes centre stage, I enjoyed the abrasive and egotistical Guy Gardner the most and was very pleased to finally see a Green Lantern on the big screen again. Guy is rude, belligerent, and full of himself, believing himself the leader of the Justice Gang and stepping up to anyone who questions his motives, authority, or even the group’s name. Guy is the most vocal of the group in turning on Superman, immediately condemning him as an alien threat, while Hawkgirl is more dismissive and Mr. Terrific is more concerned with the facts. Shown to be a somewhat stoic but unrivalled genius, Mr. Terrific utilises various tech, most notably his T-Spheres, to analyse a threat and determine the best, most efficient course of action, lethal or otherwise. While Superman bemoans their recklessness, the Justice Gang disregard his complaints as they don’t hold themselves accountable for property damage or loss of life, painting them as very rough around the edges. Mr. Terrific is both impressed and horrified to learn the Luthor has harnessed a black hole to create dimensional portals all over the world and kit out a hazardous pocket dimension as his own prison, where the egomaniac throws any dissenters and forces monkeys to slander Superman online. Metamorpho is kept under heel there to save his baby son and forced to transmute his body into Kryptonite to torture Superman. While he initially demands that Superman not try to talk or reason with him, Metamorpho has a change of heart after witnessing how cruel Luthor is and restores Superman to full health, assisting him in fending off Luthor’s goons and even joining the Justice Gang to curb the invasion of Jarhanpur.

Vindictive Luthor schemes to discredit and destroy Superman with his self-made enforcers.

After years of enduring subpar or wildly eccentric cinematic interpretations of Lex Luthor, Superman finally gives us easily the greatest and most despicable version of the balding madman ever seen on the big screen. Nicholas Hoult excels in the role, effortlessly commanding every scene and bringing a cold, clinical focus to Lex that’s matched only by his ruthlessness and descent into abject tyranny. Already resentful of metahumans, Lex is driven to a self-confessed envious rage by Superman, whom he sees as an alien interloper who is stunting human growth and stealing the spotlight from hard-working, natural geniuses like himself. Committed to first discrediting Superman and then destroying him, Luthor concocts a convoluted scheme to turn the public against the Man of Steel to gain authority to apprehend and destroy him, all while funding the Boravia/Jarhanpur conflict to profit from the war. Constantly in command of every situation, Luthor easily infiltrates the Fortress of Solitude and steals Superman’s personal data, employing his homegrown metahumans – the cybernetic Angela Spica/Engineer (de Faría) and the mysterious Ultraman – to distract Superman while directing a team of all-too-willing underlings to commit horrendous atrocities. Sacrificing her humanity for Luthor’s dream, able to turn her body into any weapon she can imagine, the Engineer attacks with nanotech, easily hacking the Fortress of Solitude and almost suffocating him. Equally, Superman meets a physical match in the ruthless Ultraman, who mirrors his abilities and is directly controlled by Luthor, who’s meticulously studied Superman to counteract and predict his every move. Beneath his silky-smooth facade, however, Luthor is a raving lunatic who condemns anyone who questions him to his pocket dimension, happily tortures and executes those who get in his way or is even remotely tied to Superman, and who relishes the chance to prove his intellectual superiority over the Man of Steel.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s clear that James Gunn is influenced by many different sources for this film. Obviously, the classic Richard Donner films are the most prominent, with composers John Murphy and David Fleming sampling the iconic John Williams theme and giving it a glam-rock edge and the opening and closing titles mirroring Donner’s films. The design of the Fortress of Solitude is also ripped directly from Donner, though Gunn populates it with distinctly “Silver Age” Kryptonian automatons who tend to Superman’s needs. The entire film pops with colour and exciting action, just like a comic book, and Superman is purposely given a corny edge to make him a loveable throwback to a simpler time. Superman also takes place in a world where metahumans, Gods, and monsters have become an accepted part of everyday life. Therefore, while civilians still flee for their lives when the Hammer of Boravia and a fire-breathing kaiju attack, it’s treated as another day in Metropolis, with even Superman and Lois barely acknowledging an interdimensional imp threatening the city during their reconciliation. Superman goes one step further with this, introducing pocket dimensions, establishing the Hall of Justice as the Justice Gang’s headquarters, and hinting at a larger universe beyond our world through a Green Lantern and certain dialogue. Everything feels very “lived in”, like we’ve jumped into the third film in a franchise, without being overwhelming or difficult to follow as the focus is on the characters, their interactions and relationships, and their different dynamics. The world is in awe of Superman but turns on him immediately once Luthor broadcasts his message, with even his allies questioning his true purpose, and this twist is used to push Clark away from being beholden to his lost and unknown people and back towards his true heritage: namely, his Earth parents and their lessons.

Even when Luthor turns people against him, Superman strives to do the right thing.

Although I wasn’t sold on the costume at first, seeing it as a mishmash of different elements from various Super Suits over the years, it looks fantastic on screen. It’s so gratifying to see the trunks and the cape symbol make a return and Corenswet fills the suit out beautifully, appearing as visually iconic as Christopher Reeve did all those years ago. Superman isn’t some invincible demigod here, either. Like in the John Byrne stories I grew up with, Superman is extremely powerful but still physical vulnerable, suffering a brutal defeat by the Hammer of Boravia and enduring incredible agony to return to full strength using a concentrated dose of solar radiation. Superman visibly struggles with his bigger, more impressive feats, increasing the stakes as it’s not always certain that he’ll succeed. Superman also makes a point to rescue civilians wherever possible, something the Justice Gang see as secondary, and even tries reasoning with the Engineer and Ultraman as he always sees the good in people. Superman’s greatest weakness here, however, isn’t just the Kryptonite Metamorpho synthesises to poison him but his own insecurities. Superman believed he was embarking on a sacred mission and is overwhelmed by doubt upon hearing his parents’ full message, but continues to fight anyway, determined to prove that he’s there to help regardless of what people say. The Kents, especially Jonathan, greatly contribute to this, encouraging him to forge his own path based on what he knows is right. To that end, Superman surrenders and allows himself to be imprisoned and tortured, all with the goal of rescuing Krypto and ending Luthor’s schemes, even if it causes him great pain, trusting that his actions will prove that he’s not a threat. Luckily for him, Lois helps turn public opinion back in his favour as Eve’s clandestine selfies reveals Luthor’s plot, though the people of Jarhanpur still believe in Superman since he helped liberate their people from tyranny.

Superman rallies to redefine his mission, battle his crazed clone, and disrupt Luthor’s mad scheme.

Thanks to Lois, Mr. Terrific activates one of Luthor’s interdimensional portals and, after convincing Metamorpho to aid him, Superman escapes from the pocket dimension, recuperating at the Kent farm, reconciling with Lois, and determined to stop Luthor. In his mad ambition to publicly discredit and destroy Superman, Luthor overloads one of his portals and causes a rip in space and time to tear through Metropolis, literally splitting the city in two. Though a mandatory evacuation spares many lives, the entire planet is threatened by this tear, which can only be stopped using Luthor’s access codes. After narrowly escaping being suffocated by the Engineer’s nanites, Superman is horrified to learn that Ultraman is a mindless, brutal clone of his grown by Luthor with the sole purpose of destroying and replacing him. This revelation comes quite late in the film and is easily telegraphed as we never see Ultraman’s face and he’s there when Luthor access the Fortress of Solitude, and I don’t feel it landed all that well. It might’ve been better if Ultraman had been revealed to be a degenerating clone like Bizarro, but I feel the image of Superman battling his mirror image wasn’t as strong as the visual variety offered by the Engineer. It’s moot either way as Ultraman gets tossed into a black hole, leaving Superman free to confront Luthor and engage in a slanging match, one ended when Lois’s story breaks and Krypto manhandles Luthor. His reputation in tatters and his plans undone by Mr. Terrific’s genius, Luthor ends the film disgraced and incarcerated and Metropolis is sewn back together when the rip is shut down. Having declared their love for each other, Superman and Lois rekindle their relationship, the Justice Gang gets a new member in Metamorpho, and the world’s faith in Superman is seemingly restored. Although Superman despairs when his rowdy cousin returns from a bender out in space, he now finds comfort in viewing his memories of his childhood with his Earth parents.

The Summary:
I’ll be the first to admit that I was annoyed that we got another Superman/DC reboot after years of false starts and troubled efforts to get a live-action DC universe off the ground. I was hoping for a course correction with Henry Cavill and slightly sceptical of the new suit, but the colourful atmosphere and light-hearted action of the trailer gave me hope…and James Gunn certainly follows through on that promise. Superman is easily the best big screen adaptation of the Man of Steel perhaps ever, taking inspiration from many different interpretations and comic books and stitching together possibly the most accurate live-action distillation of the character and his chief nemesis. David Corenswet was fantastic in the title role, thankfully spending more time in the suit and just being a good man doing good things, while also not being infallible or so invulnerable that he’s not relatable. Nicholas Hoult was equally captivating as, in my opinion, the best Lex Luthor we’ve ever seen. He brought a malicious spite and smug energy to the role that blew his cinematic predecessors away, appearing as a true threat with an immense hatred for Superman. While I admit some of the supporting characters weren’t as developed as they could be, I’m intimately familiar with all of them so I’ll accept that in favour of a rich, fully realised world where superheroes are the norm. It is a bit odd that Supergirl never told Superman what Kryptonians were really like and somewhat reduces the emotional impact of Superman’s robots being trashed when they’re fully repaired by the end, but the engaging action and thought-provoking character interactions made up for it. I liked that Superman was questioned but not to the point where he was hated and feared, and the painfully relevant metacommentary on the state of politics and social media, and how people rallied behind Superman regardless of his bad press as they could see he was a good person. This was the Superman we should’ve gotten a decade ago, an inspirational hero who can spearhead a colourful and comic accurate live-action universe that finally does justice to these beloved characters while still offering a few fun twists along the way.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Superman? What did you think to David Corenswet’s performance and his suit? Did you enjoy seeing him portrayed as fallible and vulnerable? Were you glad to see metahumans are the accepted norm in his new world? What did you think to Lex Luthor and would you agree this is the best cinematic portrayal of the villain? Were you a fan of Krypto and did you guess Ultraman’s true identity ahead of time? Feel free to share your thoughts on this new version of Superman, even if you’re a hardcore Snyder fan, in the comments, check out my other Superman content, and donate to my Ko-Fi to support more reviews like this.

Movie Night: Jurassic World Rebirth

Released: 2 July 2025
Director: Gareth Edwards
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $180 million
Stars: Scarlett Johansson, Mahershala Ali, Jonathan Bailey, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, and Rupert Friend

The Plot:
Five years after Jurassic World: Dominion (Trevorrow, 2021), with dinosaurs limited to remote, tropical locales, Zora Bennett (Johansson) leads a team to an abandoned InGen research facility to locate potentially life-saving dinosaur DNA, only to encounter horrific dinosaur mutates!

The Background:
Michael Crichton’s 1990 cautionary tale about the dangers of genetic engineering was well received and caught the eye of famed director Steven Spielberg, whose 1993 adaptation not only revolutionised computer-generated effects but also became one of the most influential movies of its era. While its sequels weren’t as well received, the ridiculously successful Jurassic World (Trevorrow, 2015) revived the franchise and kick-started a new trilogy. However, time is a circle as reviews were notably mixed for Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (ibid, 2018) and Dominion, despite both making over $1 billion at the box office. It was Spielberg who pitched the idea of another Jurassic World film, leading writer David Koepp to mine new material from Crichton’s books in an effort to recapture the tone of the first movie with a focus on scientific accuracy and humans exploring a dinosaur environment. Gareth Edwards, no stranger to giant monster movies, and Scarlett Johansson jumped at the chance to join the franchise and Edwards insisted on filming on location as often as possible. As ever, the dinosaurs were created through a mixture of animatronics and CGI, courtesy of Industrial Light & Magic, with the team redesigning a more scientifically accurate Spinosaurus and taking inspiration from sci-fi and horror classics to present the tragically monstrous Distortus rex. Garnering largely mixed reviews and a box office of over $322 million, Jurassic World Rebirth was generally regarded as a retread of the previous films, offering some new elements and mindless entertainment, but was mostly seen as a disappointing and predictable rehash that more resembled a generic monster movie than the heights of the franchise’s peak.

The Review:
Honestly, Jurassic World Rebirth gets off on the wrong foot almost immediately from my perspective. Firstly, I feel we could’ve waited a good ten years for a new entry. Second, the title irks me no end. Why not just Jurassic Rebirth or Jurassic Island, just something to differentiate it like the revival trilogy separated itself from the original trilogy, especially as Jurassic World Rebirth takes a more back-to-basics approach. Third, the film takes place seventeen years after Jurassic World, only to find that the revived dinosaurs cannot survive in the modern-day climate. It’s too polluted, for one thing, and the world has changed too much to facilitate their long-term survival, so any surviving creatures have emigrated to the equator. No humans are allowed to travel to these areas and the world has lost interest in dinosaurs, to the point where palaeontologist Doctor Henry Loomis (Bailey) is in despair as museums are closing and all the dinosaur exhibits are being packed up. We got glimpses of this in Jurassic World (though the park’s packed attendance said otherwise) but that would never, ever happen. People go to zoos and museums all the time so they would flock to see real, live dinosaurs in urban areas. Also, to make matters worse, these films never delivered on the potential of seeing dinosaurs in the real world. The revival trilogy glossed over it and the creatures have been returned to near extinction, and Jurassic World Rebirth essentially wipes the slate clean and brings the franchise back to where it was around the second and third movies…only this time, Brachiosauruses are causing traffic jams and there’s a sense of apathy towards the creatures. Indeed, shady Martin Krebs (Friend) of pharmaceutical company ParkerGenix is only interested in dinosaurs since he (and the Board) believes that their largest specimens hold the key to curing or preventing heart diseases.

Zora and her motley crew brave dinosaur danger to obtain samples for medicinal purposes.

Determined to beat his competitors to this lucrative discovery, Krebs enlists mysterious mercenary Zora Bennett to lead an expedition to Saint-Hubert to collect blood samples from the three biggest dinosaurs ever to live. Though these creatures were conveniently resurrected by InGen, they currently inhabit an island where the dubious corporation dabbled in monstrous gene splicing and hybrids, leaving behind anything deemed too ugly or ferocious and eventually being slaughtered, the facility left in shambles, when the ghastly Distortus rex broke lose. Though initially sceptical, largely because she’s still processing the loss of her mother and a friend, Zora’s eventually convinced to join the highly illegal expedition by the promise of cold, hard cash. She plays Krebs like a fiddle, easily manipulating him into doubling his offer to get her long-time friends Duncan Kincaid (Ali) and Bobby Atwater (Ed Skrein) on the mission. While Duncan captains the ship and Zora oversees the weaponry, Kreb preps the special darts they use to extract their samples, which must be fired within ten feet of a live target. Strangely, none of them find this prospect scary, despite Zora later claiming they were underequipped against a dinosaur assault, and Loomis even being elated to see the prehistoric beasts up close. While Duncan’s other crew are largely expendable and may as well have targets on their backs, he exhibits some personality in the vaguely defined loss of his child and his believable relationship with Zora. Zora, however, is all over the place, being teary eyed one minute, cracking jokes the next, then being all business. It’s like her personality changes scene by scene, with her initially scoffing at Loomis’s suggestion that they make the dino medicine free for everyone and then refusing to leave anyone behind, making for a very unpredictable (if capable) character. At least Krebs is predictably untrustworthy, clearly having ulterior motives for collecting the dinosaur samples and even endangering Teresa Delgado (Luna Blaise) to keep her from calling for aid.

Beyond a semi-decent (if ridiculous) T.rex scene, this family added nothing to the film.

Yes, as if Zora’s rag-tag crew of barely defined misfits wasn’t enough, Jurassic World Rebirth clogs its runtime by introducing a civilian family stupidly taking a leisurely jaunt nearby. Led by patriarch Reuben (Garcia-Rulfo) and comprised on his youngster daughter, Isabella (Audrina Miranda), Teresa, and her lazy-ass stoner boyfriend Xavier Dobbs (David Iacono), the family get upended by a pack of Spinosauruses that aid the colossal Mosasaurus. Incredibly, the family stay adrift long enough for Zora’s group to rescue them but get separated from the others when the dinosaurs attack Duncan’s ship. Thanks to being present for much of their conversations, Reuben knows enough to lead his family through the perilous jungle and towards the abandoned InGen facility, acting as a thematic callback to Doctor Alan Grant’s (Sam Neill) own trek through Isla Sorna in Jurassic Park. Unfortunately, the family seem like an afterthought, a relic of a separate script for this largely redundant movie, as they contribute very little and barely have character arcs between them. It seems like the film’s building towards Xavier stepping up and earning Reuben’s respect, but every time he does (rescuing Teresa when she goes overboard, watching for predators while they rest), he immediately reverts to type and says the dumbest shit. Oddly, Xavier and Theresa barely say anything to each other, making me think he may as well have been Reuben’s unruly son since we don’t even get any romance between him and Theresa. Isabella is cute and somewhat raises the stakes and gives Reuben the chance to show what a devoted dad he is, but I never believed she was in real danger, even when the group are accosted by a hungry Tyrannosaurus rex. Isabella kind of gets a mini arc as she starts off hating dinosaurs and yet, despite being so traumatised by the events that she falls semi-mute and gorges on liquorice, she bonds with and adopts a cute baby Aquilops. Duncan is also quite taken by her and initially disgusted that Reuben would knowingly put his kids in such danger, eventually pledging to defend the youngster however he can, but even this is a half-baked idea as the two groups are separated for much of the runtime.

Since regular dinosaurs aren’t enough, we’re bombarded by these ghastly genetic freaks.

While it makes sense that InGen would have a separate island to conduct their more bizarre experiments, it does feel like overkill for there to be a third island. Jurassic World Rebirth could’ve easily taken place on the other side of Isla Nubar, where the other dinosaurs were developed before being shipped off, and very little would be different. InGen were apparently so rich that they could afford three islands, to build a whole bunch of high-tech facilities and stock them with as much product placement as you could want, and to afford the minimum $75 million a head for each dinosaur. When Loomis learns that InGen just let their mutations roam free rather than euthanise them, he’s aghast when Krebs gives a half-assed explanation that it was somehow better for the bottom line to not destroy the abominations, which I guess is designed to paint InGen as a morally bankrupt corporation but just seems insulting to me. This island is full of both regular dinosaurs and monstrous crossbreeds that finally push the franchise right over the line into generic monster movie territory. Whenever a regular dinosaur does appear, they’re often largely obscured or easily dispatched by one of their genetic offshoots, with the film sadly failing to deliver a compelling redebut for the Spinosaurus. Indeed, the dinosaurs oddly retreat once the group escapes to dry land, which is weird as they’re seen to be capable of exiting the water, unlike the larger Mosasaurus. While I’m grateful that the film doesn’t rely on the overexposed Velociraptors for a change, it does evoke both these creatures and the iconic kitchen scene from Jurassic Park with the Mutadons, weird ‘raptor/Pterosaur hybrids that return from a semi-tense chase in the finale. Krebs’ missions sees Zora and her team extracting samples a the Mosasaurus, a Titanosaurus, and a Quetzalcoatlus, with the latter proving especially terrifying and dangerous, especially as the group opt to take a sample from the beast’s eggs! The T.rex pops up for a cameo in an adaptation of the raft/rapids section of the original book, showcasing an amazing ability to swim that I never associated with it before, but we’re denied any dinosaur-on-dinosaur action this time around as the film ends with a desperate escape from both the relentless Mutadons and the horrifying D.rex.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Jurassic World Rebirth certainly leans into its horror aspects, that’s for sure. The body count is quite high, with the forgettable Bobby and Nina (Philippine Velge) both being offed by a Spinosaurus once the group finally reach the island. LeClerc (Bechir Sylvain), who’s single defining character trait is that he’s French, doesn’t far much better, being devoured by a Quetzalcoatlus while frantically escaping its nest. However, you can clearly see him being swallowed by the creature and Krebs is later bitten in half by the D.rex which, coupled with the dark, intimidating aesthetics and the overall more gruesome appearance of these dinosaur hybrids, certainly pushes Jurassic World Rebirth into a horror-adjacent monster movie. There’s an attempt at delivering something more here, but it’s very on the nose and nothing we haven’t seen a hundred times before. Loomis delivers a not-so-subtle soliloquy about how humans are an arrogant and destructive species that are destined to destroy themselves and/or been shaken off by the planet, and the film beats you over the head with the idea that the modern world is too polluted and unstable for the revived dinosaurs. The commentary about the public being sick of dinosaurs also harkens back to the metatextual undertone of Jurassic World, which suggests that we are sick of dinosaurs and want something more monstrous and exciting in these films, when that’s clearly not true given how much money the franchise makes. Jurassic World Rebirth stumbles somewhat by taking far too long to get going, lumbering us with forgettable characters for the first hour or so and building anticipation for the dinosaurs, which sounds great on paper but is unnecessary by the seventh movie. Not only that, but the film simply rehashes many of the narrative beats and visual cues of the pervious films, with characters stumbling through the jungle, being in awe of gigantic sauropods, fleeing from voracious carnivores, and sneaking about abandoned facilities. It’s all very familiar, making the film about as redundant as Jurassic Park III (Johnston, 2001) was back in the day because we’ve seen all this before, and done better.

The usual awe and grandeur is downplayed in favour of a more horror-focused approach.

It’s doubly frustrating as the film could’ve presented something new by exploring the impact dinosaurs have in the modern world, something barely touched upon in the last two films and constantly swept under the rug because God forbid we have a Jurassic movie not set in the jungle! Even Duncan complains about the jungle setting, and rightfully so as there’s nothing new here at all. I thought we were in for a treat with all those Spinosauruses, but we barely get a glimpse of one on land and they conveniently just swim away once the survivors beach themselves. Xavier gets stalked by some Velociraptors at one point but the scene’s played for laughs as a Mutadon pounces on them while he’s peeing, ostensibly to establish this flying ‘raptor hybrid as the latest threat but falling way off the mark as they’re essentially the same creature…but with wings they barely use. It was fun to see the T.rex/rapids scene make it onscreen, and it was quite tense watching Theresa drag the lift raft to the water, but it fell apart the moment the family jumped into the raft and tried to paddle away from the T.rex. As if that wasn’t crazy enough, they amazingly survive this encounter and the T.rex just gives up, despite clearly being able to walk around the rocks, never to be seen again. While it was nice to see something new in the Titanosaurus, they’re literally just bigger, more awesome variations on the Brachiosaurus and their weird, whip-like tails looked ridiculous. The star of the show is meant to be the D.rex, an honestly gruesome T.rex mutation that boasts four colossal legs, two spindly arms, and a massive, Xenomorph-like head. I’m torn, though, as the creature is used sparingly, adding to its horror and mystery, but it might’ve been good to get a sense of it stalking the island, perhaps having characters come across dismembered corpses, to help build towards its big reveal. I was also impressed by the Quetzalcoatlus, even if I didn’t get the sense of scale Loomis kept exaggerating. It would’ve been nice to see this and/or the Mutadons and T.rex factor into the ending to battle the D.rex, but Jurassic World Rebirth seemingly goes out of its way to avoid any big dinosaur fights…which, again, can be seen as either good or bad.

The terrifying finale with the D.rex is undercut by some bizarre narrative choices and dull characters.

I think I fall into the latter camp. The film seems to be trying very hard to evoke the spirit of the first movie, alternating between awe and horror and not big dinosaur fights, but that doesn’t make for a very exciting finale as the characters obviously stand no chance against the D.rex and yet still manage to avoid it without any outside assistance. After being separated, both groups head towards the InGen facility, with Zora’s group stopping off to collect their samples with a minimum of fuss, to rendezvous with Zora’s helicopter extract team. Theresa is eager to reunite with them and get some revenge on Krebs after he leaves her to die, only for him to pull a gun on them, take the samples, and attempt to flee without them. Obviously, this goes very badly for him as, in his last moments, he’s too obsessed with money and the dino samples to avoid being munched on by the D.rex. This monstrous abomination easily devours Zora’s helicopter in a startling sequence and stomps about the facility, largely missing its prey as Duncan leads them through a convenient series of underground tunnels. Though pursued by Mutadons, the creatures are easily evaded through a combination of bullets and convenience, though the group faces disaster when they struggle to lower the one remaining boat on the island. Realising that everyone’s in jeopardy, Duncan makes the brave decision to lead the D.rex away using a flare, much to Zora’s dismay, fading into the jungle and seemingly being eaten. However, barely two minutes after his heroic sacrifice, a flare goes up and he wades out completely unharmed, having miraculously survived the encounter with no explanation. Somehow speeding away from the island without the D.rex or any of the aquatic dinosaurs following them, Zora decides to agree with Loomis’s earlier suggestion and provide their ill-gotten samples to the world for free, thereby allowing countless people to benefit rather than the top one percent. And that’s kind of it. All the characters you’d expect to survive make it out, with barely a scratch, and all those hideous dinosaur hybrids are just left to wander around for the inevitable sequel (assuming they’re not killed off between films, which is what I expect to happen).

The Summary:
I was sceptical of Jurassic World Rebirth right from the first trailer, and with good reason. I feel we needed a longer break between films as the last trilogy definitely suffered from diminishing returns by the end, and nothing here makes me think otherwise. While it desperately tries to revisit the smaller scale approach of the first film, Jurassic World Rebirth comes across as a “best-of” compilation of moments from the previous movies, wrapped up in a largely generic monster movie that somewhat betrays the spirit of the franchise. It doesn’t help that there are far too many characters. It might’ve been better to reduces Zora’s crew to four and follow four survivors on the island as that family added nothing to the film, apparently being left over from earlier drafts and kept in to pad the runtime. The main plot of the film is laughable as I don’t believe that anyone would choose to visit this island, regardless of the money offered, unless they were poachers, a rescue team, or had wandered off course. I struggled to connect with any of the main characters as they were incredibly one-dimensional or kept switching personality from scene to scene, with even Loomis proving adept in the field because the plot required it. The dinosaur action was impressive, except for the Titanosauruses, but there’s not enough of it because the film wastes time building unnecessary anticipation. I liked that it leaned into horror, and the D.rex was pretty damn horrific, but I think we needed a bit more to keep things moving and the keep a sense of dread and urgency to the film (Zora’s group, especially, never seems to be in a rush despite literally facing a ticking clock). Ultimately, I think Jurassic World Rebirth may be more appealing to newcomers but, for long time fans of the franchise, there’s little here than hasn’t been done in previous films and it just feels like a big-budget cash grab designed to wring more money out of the franchise, whether it makes sense or not.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Jurassic Word Rebirth? Were you disappointed that the dinosaurs were driven back to extinction again? Do you agree that there were too many characters in the film and that they lacked personality? Which of the mutated dinosaurs was your favourite and did you like seeing the rapids scene finally make it to the big screen? Which Jurassic film is your favourite and where would you like to see the franchise go next? Whatever your thoughts on Jurassic Word Rebirth, leave them below and then go read my other Jurassic reviews and donate to my Ko-Fi to support the site.