movie night

Movie Night [Christmas Day]: Die Hard

Dr. K5 Comments

Released: 15 July 1988
Director: John McTiernan
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $25 to 35 million
Stars: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Reginald VelJohnson, Paul Gleason, and William Atherton

The Plot:
New York City police detective John McClane (Willis) arrives at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles to reconcile with his estranged wife, Holly Gennero-McClane (Bedelia). Things quickly turn south when Hans Gruber (Rickman) and his gang of terrorists take the building hostage, leaving McClane to wage a one-man war.

The Background
In 1979, writer Roderick Thorp published a sequel to his 1966 thriller, The Detective; inspired by The Towering Inferno (Guillermin, 1974), Nothing Lasts Forever was well-received and soon shopped around Hollywood, with Thorp hoping Frank Sinatra would reprise his role from the adaptation of The Detective (Douglas, 1968). Instead, the concept ended up in the hands of struggling screenwriter Jeb Stuart, who was given free reign as long as he retained the Christmas-in-Los-Angeles setting. Drawing from personal experiences with married life, Stuart reimagined Thorp’s aging detective, Joe Leland, into a flawed everyman, though remained largely faithful to the spirit of the source material. After Sinatra turned down the lead role, the project was offered to some of Hollywood’s biggest action stars, including Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, before Bruce Willis (then known more for his comedic efforts) was cast as the wisecracking John McClane and subsequently redefined not only his career, but the portrayal of action heroes in general. Die Hard was the silver screen debut for the late, great Alan Rickman, who was won over by the wit and intelligence of the script and even had some creative input on his character thanks to his theatre background. Screenwriter Steven E. de Souza came onboard for a rewrite, which framed the narrative as though Hans Gruber were the protagonist, though director John McTiernan allowed Willis and the other actors room to improvise during the shoot, which was based almost entirely in and around the Fox Plaza in Central City. Willis performed many of his own stunts, suffering partial hearing loss as a result; the stunts were dangerous and complex for cast and crew alike, though McTiernan couldn’t resist dropping Rickman early to produce a genuine look of fear for Gruber’s fall. In defiance of low expectations, Die Hard was a massive financial success, making around $140 million at the box office, revitalising both 20th Century Fox and the action genre. Although initial reviews were mixed, praising the direction and stunts but questioning Willis’s performance, the film was seen as a breakout role for the actor, one that redefined the action hero stereotype into a more vulnerable and snarky tough guy. After proving to be equally popular on home video, this success naturally translated into a sequel two years later, a venture that proved even more profitable and led to an entire franchise of additional sequels, videogames, and ancillary media of varying quality that nonetheless cemented Willis’s status as a smart-mouthed action hero.

The Review:
Believe it or not, but there was a time when I wasn’t much of a Die Hard fan. Despite growing up on action movies, specifically those starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, kid me always found Die Hard to be a little too slow and “grown up” compared to the Austrian Oak’s films. Eventually, however, I grew up a bit and did a binge watch of the then-trilogy of Die Hard films and realised what I’d been missing out on. Specifically, Bruce Willis establishing himself as a mainstream action icon with these films, in particular this first Die Hard movie, which is still the undeniable best of a surprisingly strong action franchise. McClane separates himself from his action movie counterparts by being the quintessential “Everyman”; he’s physically fit, yes, but not some musclebound brute and he’s far from invincible, gradually becoming more injured and fatigued as the movie goes on. He’s easy to relate to because he’s a very flawed character; his marriage is on the rocks, he’s seen as insubordinate and a liability by his peers, he makes mistakes, and he’s forced to adapt, always one wrong move away from certain death. This is in stark contrast to the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone; while they have certainly portrayed more grounded, vulnerable, and human characters, they’re best known for being virtually unstoppable and overcoming the odds through sheer brute force, whereas McClane has to use his wits, cunning, and sheer force of will to triumph.

Smart-mouthed John McClane is the only man tenacious enough to rescue the terrified hostages.

John McClane is portrayed very much as a fish out of water since he is both a New York City cop in the unfamiliar surroundings of Los Angeles and a rugged working man amidst a skyscraper full of well-heeled business types. Although rough around the edges, he’s treated warmly and with respect by Joseph Takagi (James Shigeta) and invited to join the Nakatomi Christmas party, but he’s focused solely on reconnecting with Holly, who has managed to build a successful career for herself without McClane, much to his chagrin. While he’s clearly still in love with her and wants to build bridges, if only for the sake of their young children, McClane is handicapped by a natural immaturity that causes only further arguments rather than him simply admitting to his mistakes. A career cop, McClane is always taking in his surroundings and has a suspicious nature that allows him to separate bullshitters like Harry Ellis (Hart Bochner) from the honest, like Argyle (De’voreaux White), his overly chatting limo driver. This talent goes hand in hand with his adaptability and stubborn nature, from which the film takes its title; though outnumbered and outgunned and definitely in way over his head, McClane keeps his wits about him and is always trying to find some way to get help or pick off his assailants and is intuitive enough to assess the threat posed by the terrorists based on their accents, firearms, and tactics. Basically caught with his pants down, McClane finds himself the only one capable of raising the alarm when Hans Gruber and his goons take over the tower, executing Takagi and taking his employees hostage while they work on breaking into the vault. Outnumbered, outgunned, and without even his shoes, McClane’s first instinct is to call for help, only to be repeatedly met with scepticism, endangering himself and forcing him to flee or fight, with tenacity in equal measure. Though armed only with his service pistol, McClane soon acquires a machine gun (“Ho-ho-ho”), but it’s not enough to tackle Gruber head-on. Instead, McClane fights with a brutal and rabid animal spirit; often physically outmatched by his foes, he takes quite a beating in every encounter and only emerges victorious due to his stubborn nature or taking risks that further damage his body, slicing his feet on glass shards, tumbling down stairs, getting shot, crawling through ventilation ducts, and defying physics and death alike with a desperate leap from the rooftop with only a firehose as a lifeline!

McClane’s only ally and supporter in rescuing his equally spirited estranged wife is Powell.

If anyone knows about McClane’s stubborn nature, it’s his wife, Holly. A driven and determined career woman, Holly moved to Los Angeles with their kids to make a go out of it in the corporate world and, despite McClane’s doubts (and hopes), actually succeeded in her new role. Though warm, kind, and friendly, Holly is sick of McClane’s thick-headed ways and bullish nature; she has no problem calling him out or standing up to him and just wants to be treated with some respect. Although he knows what he needs to do to repair their relationship, McClane struggles to express himself and often falls back on accusations and jealousy, widening the gap between them. When she’s taken hostage, Holly remains calm and composed but brings the same fiery energy when she’s forced to speak up for her fellow colleagues in place of Takagi; even Gruber comments on her dependable and forthright nature, which helps her act as a mediator between the groups in a far more effective way than her coked-up colleague, Ellis. When she learns that McClane is at large in the building and causing Gruber trouble, Holly begins to hope; despite their differences, she knows that McClane will fight to the bitter end to get the job done, but even she is shocked by the state he’s in by the end. While Los Angeles’ finest are often more of a hinderance than help to the fatigued and aggravated McClane, his most vocal supporter outside of the tower is Sergeant Al Powell (VelJohnson), a Twinkie-loving father to be who’s struggling with guilt after accidentally shooting a kid. Alerted to gunfire and a disturbance at Nakatomi Plaza, Powell is horrified by what’s happening inside. Going with his gut, Powell becomes McClane’s primary contact, much to the ire of Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Gleason). While Robinson believes McClane is as much of a problem as the terrorists, if not one of them, and prefers to go by the book and suck up to Agent Johnson and Johnson (Robert Davi and Grand L. Bush) of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Powell is much more “boots on the ground” and helps McClane stay sane and motivated and to stop and think about the big picture regarding the takeover.

McClane feels very unappreciated by the bureaucratic and arrogant pen-pushers on the outside.

Although he means well, Robinson is clearly not used to being in the field; he refuses to listen to McClane’s warnings and outright criticises his attempts to help and desperately tries to negotiate with Gruber, completely oblivious to the fact that he’s being played for a fool. When the LAPD’s Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team try to storm the tower by force, he witnesses a taste of Gruber’s firepower when Gruber’s men shoot out their spotlights and destroy the armoured transport vehicle (APV) with a rocket launcher. Rather than thank McClane for his assistance, which sees him kill several of Gruber’s men with a hastily-constructed bomb, Robinson chastises him for damaging the building, but even his ineffectual nature pales in comparison to the arrogant and self-righteous FBI agents. Even Powell can see that the FBI are just like Robinson, working from a checklist and foolishly believing that they’re in charge of the situation without realising that they’re just expediating Gruber’s plan and causing unnecessary danger. Indeed, the agents are so arrogant that they personally accompany the helicopters to retrieve the hostages, relishing the chance to kick some ass and paying the ultimate price for it when they’re caught in an explosion, despite McClane’s best efforts to ward them off (which almost get him killed!) As if that wasn’t bad enough, snivelling reporter Richard Thornburg (Atherton) learns of the commotion and forces himself into the investigation, doing a deep dive on McClane and his family in order to advance his career. This directly impacts the finale when Gruber learns of Holly’s connection to McClane from Thornburg’s invasive and wholly inappropriate report, which see her kids and family plastered all over the media. This is enough to earn him her undying wrath and she gives him a good sock to the jaw after finally being rescued, proving that her drive to protect her family is just as strong as her husband’s.

Composed psychopath Hans and his goons are riled up by McClane’s cowboy vendetta.

So, to say McClane is against the odds is putting it mildly. With only a single security guard on duty, he has no backup inside the building against Gruber’s heavily armed and physically imposing forces. McClane immediately antagonises Gruber’s most brutish henchman, Karl Vreski (Alexander Godunov), after he kills Karl’s brother, Tony (Andreas Wisniewski), in a brutal scuffle. A cold-blooded and merciless killer, Karl swears revenge and his burning need to kill McClane sees him disregard Gruber’s orders, warn his allies not to rob him of his quarry, and ends with him hanging from a chain, seemingly dead because of his vendetta. Gruber’s other most notable ally is Theo (Clarence Gilyard), the group’s wisecracking and enthusiastic tech specialist who happily applies his skills to cracking Takgaki’s safe, seeing it as a personal challenge, and directs his allies in fending off the SWAT team, laughing with glee at how outmatched the LAPD are against their firepower and his intellect. And then there’s Hans himself, a smooth talking, eloquent, unnervingly polite terrorist who commands not just the respect and loyalty of his crew but the attention of every room and scene he’s in. While he’s a reasonable man, Gruber is as psychotic as his underlings when pushed; he thinks nothing of executing Takagi and Ellis and is fully prepared to kill everyone in the building to pull off his heist, despite agreeing to Holly’s terms to treat the hostages humanely. Although positioned and selling himself as a revolutionary terrorist fighting against oppression, he’s actually little more than a common thief as his goal is to steal $640 million in untraceable bearer bonds from Takagi’s vault and abscond to a faraway beach, free from persecution thanks to his elaborate and well-executed plan. While he’s largely the commanding voice of reason and directs his men to focus on the big picture, such as retrieving his C4 explosives rather than wasting time and energy hunting McClane, he didn’t factor a lone New York cop into his schemes and his demeanour noticeably becomes more frustrated the more his operation is scuppered by this smart-mouthed “cowboy”. Gruber even comes face to face with McClane at one point when looking for his detonators and gains a deeper understanding about his foe; though Gruber’s accent and charade are good, McClane shows he’s more than a meathead by seeing through the act, but Gruber matches him at every turn, ordering Karl to “shoot the glass” when he notices McClane’s bare feet and even taking Holly hostage to ensure their escape in the finale.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve never understood the debate regarding Die Hard’s status as a Christmas movie. Every year, memes and posts and arguments rage about whether it “counts” as a Christmas movie when the evidence is pretty clear that it absolutely is a festive film. For starters, it takes place on Christmas Eve and at the Nakatomi Christmas party; that alone is enough to qualify in my book, but we’ve also got an abundance of Christmas decorations (including trees and presents), a hip Christmas song, and a Christmassy jingle laced into the film’s score. For me, all it takes is for a film to be set during the Christmas season for it to be considered a Christmas movie, making the entire debate redundant from my perspective; plus, it’s a great excuse to watch Die Hard while the turkey’s roasting. The Christmas setting is a great excuse to have Nakatomi Plaza be empty save for its partying employees; it also helps set up some great puns and aggrieved commentary from McClane, who regularly laments about how unfair the situation is. Thanks to a combination of fear, adrenaline, anxiety, and his own juvenile nature, McClane provides a running commentary throughout the film to himself, Powell, and his foes. It’s clear he does this to cope with the extreme danger of his situation, but it also showcases his investigative mind as he ponders the accents and gear of Gruber’s gang, chastises his own reckless behaviour and bad ideas at every opportunity, and assaults his enemies with colourful insults as much as bullets and body blows.

John McClane embodied a different type of action hero, a vulnerable, flawed, smart-ass everyman.

Whilst studying for my PhD thesis, I did a lot of background research into action cinema and, unsurprisingly, Die Hard came up quite a bit, especially regarding discussions of masculinity in Hollywood (and, specifically, this genre). For decades, action cinema and gender roles were defined by physicality; masculinity, especially, was embodied by hyper-masculine heroes like Schwarzenegger and Stallone, but this perception was challenged by the AIDS crisis and smaller, less troublesome statures and heroes became more prominent. Thus, not only did Stallone dramatically reconfigure his persona at this time, but McClane represented something very different to his peers; defined “through the voice, more wise-guy than tough-guy” (Tasker, 1993: 239), McClane was a “perpetual adolescent [who seemed] to be playing games”, cracking jokes and carrying “a sense of surprise and confusion that [the] explosive events are happening to him”. He thus personified the more relatable, rugged “Everyman” action hero; proactive individuals who faced danger not just with a fist or a gun but a smirk and a hefty amount of icy dialogue (ibid). However, McClane remains a figure of masculine power like his peers; Barry Grant (2007) noted that McClane survives multiple milestones throughout and ultimately triumphs, believing McClane’s heroics were linked to masculinity, patriarchy and their mythic representations since he conquers a clearly phallic structure, overcomes numerous male henchmen who challenge his masculinity, and ultimately defeats these villains to reclaim both his masculine potency and his wife. Indeed, Die Hard was noted by Steve Neale (2001) to be progressive in these gender codings as “fantasies of class- and gender-based resistance to the advent of a post-feminist/post-Fordist world [and] all the old lines of force and division between races, classes and genders are both transgressed and redrawn”. While you can read gender and political messages into almost any narrative, there’s some really interesting reading on the subject out there, especially in relation to Die Hard. I think what impresses me the most about this is how it allows the film, and this largely dismissed genre, to gain a bit more legitimacy in the eyes of academics; sure, it’s a bombastic action flick filled with blood squibs, wise cracks, and elaborate stunts but that doesn’t stop it from having intriguing academic appeal and opening discussions regarding gender roles.

Amidst the explosions and gunfights, Die Hard has a raw and brutal edge to its set pieces.

Indeed, while Die Hard is easily the most grounded and subdued of the franchise, which upped the ante to almost ridiculous (but no less entertaining) degrees, it still has some impressive set pieces, especially for a film set largely in one location. There’s the aforementioned APV assault, which sees the foyer rocked by explosions and ends with an impressive (if slightly dodgy) composite shot of McClane chucking C4 down an elevator shaft. And before this we have fun stuff like McClane blasting Marco (Lorenzo Caccialanza) through a table and then tossing him out a window, where he crashes onto Powell’s car and finally gets the LAPD out in full force. McClane’s fist fights with Tony and Karl are very brutal affairs; McClane takes quite a beating in each case and survives only by the skin of his teeth and is left sweaty and bloodied as a result. The damage he accumulates racks up to the point where he starts to consider that the odds aren’t looking too good in his favour; as he gingerly pulls glass shards from his feet, he tries to confide in Powell, who remains the steadfast voice of encouragement and hope. Things continue to escalate when Theo finally cracks the vault and Gruber enacts his final deception; he agrees to let the hostages go in exchange for safe passage on a helicopter, knowing full well that the FBI will double-cross him and rigging the rooftop landing pad to blow. Thanks to McClane, the hostages get to safety but Johnson and Johnson aren’t so lucky as their chopper is engulfed by the explosion. McClane, however, proves as resourceful as ever, leaping from the roof with a firehose as a makeshift safety line and smashing his way back into the building, narrowly avoiding a fatal fall in the process. Indeed, the film’s title is certainly apt as McClane continually avoids death even when he should probably have died several times over, though this takes a visual toll on his body and his mind as the film progresses, with him becoming noticeably bloodier and more desperate as things escalate.

An injured and exhausted McClane ultimately topples Gruber and reunites with his wife.

Thankfully, Powell in on hand to keep him together; their many radio exchanges see Powell shamefully admit to his mistake, which saw him transfer to a desk job and holster his revolver, an emotional arc that reaches a crescendo in the film’s final moments when Powell is forced to shoot Karl dead when he suddenly springs to life, thus allowing Powell to regain his confidence (and, if you want to read it that way, his own sense of masculinity; guns are a very phallic object, after all). After spending the whole movie pretending to be this cultured, intellectual terrorist revolutionary, Holly is disgusted and stunned to learn that Gruber’s simply in it for the money. Although many of his men have been killed by McClane, Gruber finally gets into Takagi’s safe and prepares to make his getaway, taking Holly as his hostage for collateral. However, McClane stumbles out from the embers, exhausted and bloody, to confront Gruber once more; as ever, though, he’s outnumbered and outgunned and dare not make a move since Gruber has Holly at gunpoint. With no other choice, McClane drops his gun and surrenders to Gruber, who prepares to shoot him and mockingly repeats a taunt McClane had flippantly thrown his way earlier, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuker”, causing them both to break out in laughter. This is all the distraction McClane needs to enact his final, desperate gambit; with his hands behind his head in a submissive gesture, he retrieves a pistol he taped to his back, guns down Eddie (Dennis Haden), and incapacitates Gruber with a shot, despite taking another bullet in the process. This sees the mortally wounded Gruber topple out the window, but he proves as persistent as his nemesis; caught up on Holly’s wristwatch (a gift from Takagi for her hard work), he prepares to shoot McClane only to be sent suddenly plunging to his death when McClane rips the watch from his wife’s wrist, symbolically shedding Holly from her career and returning her into the arms of her grateful and remorseful husband, their relationship having been galvanised by the whole traumatic ordeal.

The Summary:
Christmas is a great time of year. The food, the atmosphere, the presents…and the movies! Every year, I get to re-watch some of my favourite Christmas-themed films and Die Hard absolutely makes that list. Yes, you can (and should) watch it any time of the year but why not at Christmas, when the movie is set? Honestly, this is one of the all-time greats of the genre; more of an action/thriller, the film is a hugely entertaining depiction of one tenacious man’s fight against overwhelming odds and, while it can sometimes feel a little lengthy, it’s very fun and always enjoyable to watch every time. John McClane is a very different type of action hero; he’s vulnerable and flawed and has a smart mouth and a never-say-die attitude. He’s the perfect monkey wrench in Hans Gruber’s meticulous plot to get rich quick and the dichotomy between the two is half the fun of the movie. Even though they share very little screen time together, you can see them both growing more desperate and riled up and eager to take the other out as the film progresses, and this rising tension is both palpable and reflected in the escalating violence and destruction. I loved McClane’s snarky attitude, his quips and one-liners, and the humanising relationship between him and Al Powell, which really helps you remember that these action heroes are just normal people, deep down beneath the machismo. Another thing I love is how raw Die Hard is; it’s grounded and dirty and gritty and it really makes you feel it every time McClane takes a shot or a beating or a fall. Although it’s easy to just turn your brain off and enjoy a good time, I do like how the film invites deeper readings and academic discussion with its depiction of gender, masculinity, and violence. For me, Die Hard has endured the test of time; it reinvigorated the action genre and created one of the best protagonists of action cinema and it’s one of those films I both genuinely look forward to watching time and time again and which just gets better the more you watch it.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Are you a fan of Die Hard? Did you like how it reinvigorated the action genre with a snarky everyman hero or are you a fan of the more over-the-top protagonists? What did you think to Hans Gruber’s plan, his portrayal, and his crew? Did you enjoy McClane’s tenacity and snarky attitude? What did you think to the set pieces? Do you consider Die Hard to be a Christmas movie? What are your plans for Christmas Day today? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to comment down before and have a great Christmas!

Movie Night [Doomsday]: Snowpiercer

Dr. KLeave a comment

Over the years, there have been many theories about when the world will end but one of the more prevalent was the mistaken belief that doomsday would befall us on December 21st 2012 based on the Mayan calendar ending on this day. Of course, not only did this not happen but it wasn’t even based on any actual fact to begin with. Still, doomsday scenarios and depictions of the end of the world have been an enduring genre in fiction so I figure today was a good day to dedicate some time to this popular concept.

Released: 29 July 2013
Director: Bong Joon-ho
Distributor: CJ Entertainment/Lionsgate
Budget: $40 million
Stars: Chris Evans, Song Kang-ho, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, and Ed Harris

The Plot:
After an attempt to reverse global warming causes an ice age to render the Earth uninhabitable, the remnants of humanity are crammed into a circumnavigational train, the Snowpiercer, where the elite thrive in the extravagant front cars and the poor struggle in squalid tail-end compartments. With tensions rising, Curtis Everett (Evans) prepares to lead an uprising against the train’s domineering authority, represented by Minister Mason (Swinton).

The Background:
Snowpiercer began life as a French language graphic novel, Le Transperceneige (Lob, et al, 1982); after discovering a copy in a South Korean comic book shop in 2005, director Bong Koon-ho was immediately fascinated by the story’s depiction of social classes desperately vying for survival in a claustrophobic, post-apocalyptic scenario. Despite his fascination with the graphic novel, and having secured the rights to a live-action adaptation thanks to his friendship with fellow director Park Chan-wook, development of the film took a great deal of time to get off the ground. Star Chris Evans came on board (no pun intended) in 2012; although he brought with him a mainstream star power thanks to his prominence in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bong had to employ some clever filmmaking techniques to hide the actor’s muscular physique during filming. Featuring some complex practical and computer effects to render the titular train’s numerous cars and the desolate frozen wasteland of the outside world, Snowpiercer had the largest film budget of all time for any film with Korean investors but its theatrical release was limited to South Korea at the time. Still, while Snowpiercer’s box office may not have been the most spectacular, the film received largely positive reviews, was widely regarded as one of the best films of 2014, and eventually led to a television adaptation in 2020.

The Review:
Snowpiercer presents a unique spin on the concept of a global disaster movie; while we’ve seen ice ages and frozen Earth films before, I’m hard pressed to think of one where we were directly, unequivocally responsible for the planet becoming a block of ice and snow much less one where the few remnants of humanity were crammed inside a world-spanning, perpetual motion train.

The tail section lives in abject poverty and is routinely abused by the upper classes.

Immediately, the film’s depiction of class and social segregation is made explicitly clear; Curtis, his young friend Edgar (Bell), and his fellow lower classes are forced to live in abject poverty and extremely cramped, disgusting conditions like homeless vagrants. Muddy, dishevelled, and little more than meek, subservient cattle, the lower ends are fed nauseating protein blocks and held at the mercy of the upper classes and the train’s armed guards, who do not hesitate to beat them mercilessly or tear children away from their mothers. Curtis, a principal figurehead amidst the dregs of the train, is very much a reluctant leader and uncomfortable with his position after a traumatic experience in the past. Indebted to Gilliam (Hurt), the aged, half-crippled true leader of the resistance movement, Curtis begrudgingly uses his powers of observation and force of will to help co-operate with prisoner Namgoong “Nam” Minsoo (Kang-ho) in a desperate attempt to storm the train’s length to seize control of the engine (and, thus, the “world”), and kill its operator, Wilford (Harris).

Much to Curtis’s chagrin, Edgar worships and looks up to him as a leader and a brother.

Much to Curtis’s chagrin, Edgar worships him as a hero and leader and sees him as something of an older brother; optimistic and full of fight, Edgar is willing to follow Curtis into the fray, which greatly disturbs Curtis as he believes that Edgar is willing to die for nothing. Their relationship is one based on both necessity and a lifetime of lies as Curtis carries tremendous guilt after he nearly killed and ate Edgar when he was just a baby. Such abject mania and cannibalism was rife in the early days of the train and many of the back-end’s inhabitants, such as Gilliam, are missing limbs after being willingly (or forced) to offer sustenance to their fellow passengers.

Snowpiercer features a diverse cast, making communication another source of contention.

Snowpiercer features an extremely diverse cast, with many of the supporting characters being South Korean actors; the most prominent of which is Curtis’s contact, Nam, and his seventeen-year-old daughter, Yona (Ko Asung). Both are addicted to a coal-like waste by-product, Kronole, which offers abusers a hallucinogenic high, yet Nam is instrumental to their efforts since he designed all the doors and locks on the train and his daughter exhibits some degree of clairvoyance. Since Namgoong mainly communicates in Korean, Curtis and the others are forced to communicate with him through the use of an unreliable mechanical translation device, though there are many instances of subtitles as well.

Mason is an abominable, despicable coward who’s only looking after her own self interests.

The upper classes are condescending, well-kept, and ruthless individuals who regularly lord their position and power over the lower classes; none embody Wilford’s order or the will of the upper class more than the detestable Minister Mason. A comical figure in many ways, sporting a pompous Yorkshire accent, an elaborate sense of style, and a self-righteous attitude, she stresses the importance of social order and subjugation through capital punishment and fully believes that everyone, and everything, must adhere to their pre-ordained place to maintain society and order.

Against overwhelming odds and cruel oppressors, Curtis’s rebellion is a bloody and brutal affair.

Even after decades of suppression and failed revolutions, which have resulted in countless deaths and mutilations, the lower classes maintain a degree of resistance and fighting spirit; thankfully, those same years have taken their toll on the upper classes, who have not only become complacent but have also run out of bullets over the years. As a result, Curtis’s campaign to seize the train takes the guards completely off-guard and is, initially, somewhat successful. Along the way, they discover to repulsive truth behind the protein bars and are enamoured by seeing the sun, the outside world, and the opulence of the upper classes. Much death and violence accompany this push to the front, however, resulting in the sudden death of Edgar and turning Curtis’s mission into one of revenge as much as liberty.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Snowpiercer is an extremely bleak and claustrophobic tale, full of dark, desolate lighting and a surprising variety of environments considering the entire film takes place on overcrowded train carts. The back end is a grim, gloomy area that is little more than a slum but, as Curtis’s revolution proceeds through the train, environments become much more elaborate and ornate as we see the luxury and indulgence that the upper class surround themselves in.

The train’s construction and stability raises some questions but it’s definitely a unique premise.

This includes a fully-functioning school (which teaches the children of the upper class to respect and pay reverence to the train and to Wilford as though they are some kind of religious icon), lavish first-class cabins equipped with lighting, heating, and actual cooked food, and such extravagances as musicians and even a greenhouse, aquarium, and hot tubs. Of course, as with many post-apocalyptic tales, there are some questions raised by Snowpiercer’s concept and left unanswered: the train is, by definition, a perpetual motion engine that circles the world endlessly thanks to being powered by small children but, while we see it precariously clinging to the tracks throughout the film, it’s pretty obvious that the train, its tracks, or the many bridges would surely have degraded or been destroyed by the extreme cold.

It’s a hard life in an even harsher world and revolution carries a heavy cost.

Still, I can forgive a lot of these questions mainly because the film does go to some lengths to address some of the main ones (by explaining that Wilford had the foresight and the capital to prepare his train tracks and engine before the world went to Hell) and the rest are best left to one side as a degree of suspension of disbelief is necessary to allow the film to actually happen. Additionally, the overall concept of the subjugated lower classes rising in a desperate suicide mission to take control of the train is compelling enough to carry the film even through its more preposterous ideas. After a particularly bloody and costly battle through the train, Curtis secures safe passage through the train by taking Mason hostage and is disgusted to see the extent to which the upper classes indulge themselves. At the mercy of the lower classes, Mason’s previously haughty attitude and lofty position is shattered as she is force-fed the protein blocks and sells out her beloved Wilford purely to save her own wretched hide. Thankfully, as satisfying as it is to see her reduced to a blubbering wreck, she gets her ultimate comeuppance when she is duly executed by Curtis not only for the deaths and suffering she has willing taking part in over the years but also for indirectly being responsible for Gilliam’s death.

After Curtis rejects Wilford and derails the train, the two survivors face an uncertain future.

There are a number of dramatic twists that await Curtis at the head of the train; the first is that Gilliam and Wilford conspired to inspire Curtis’s rebellion simply to maintain the train’s delicate and ghastly self-sustaining ecosystem by killing off a large portion of the tail section. The second is that Wilford, seeing the need for a successor, offers Curtis the opportunity to take over as the train’s operator but, while he is tempted, having lost everything and in the face of mass executions, Curtis violently refuses when Yona reveals that the engine is powered by children from the tail section. In that moment, Curtis finally sacrifices not just a limb for his fellow passengers but also himself to derail the train and leave Yuna and the boy, Timmy (Marcanthonee Reis), to an uncertain future in a world that may be slowly thawing.

The Summary:
Snowpiercer is a fantastically dreary and depressing tale about the decaying and desperate remnants of humanity being forced into a claustrophobic space, separated by class and social standing, and forced to either scramble for survival and scraps and eek out a pathetic existence in the tail end or indulge in their every desire and whim at the front end. Trapped under the thumb of their oppressors and driven by hunger and desperation, Curtis is determined to see his mission through simply because of the suffering and death he has witnessed first-hand and his hatred of both himself and Wilford for forcing them to live in such conditions. As far as post-apocalyptic tales go, you could do a lot worse than Snowpiercer, which expertly focuses its narrative on this fragile ecosystem and presents a desolate, desperate tale of survival within a suffocating, oppressive space that separates it from its competition and results in a bleak and intense story of desperation and survival.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Snowpiercer? How do you feel it holds up against other post-apocalyptic tales? Were you a fan of the social and class issues represented in the film and or did its bleak atmosphere put you off? Have you read the original graphic novel and, if so, how do you feel Snowpiercer works as an adaptation? Perhaps you were more a fan of the later television adaptation; if so, why is that and how does it compare to the film? How are you celebrating the end of the world today? Whatever your thoughts on Snowpiercer, feel free to leave a comment down below.

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Home Alone

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 16 November 1990
Director: Chris Columbus
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $18 million
Stars: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, and Roberts Blossom

The Plot:
When bratty eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Culkin) acts out the night before a family trip to Paris, his mother, Kate (O’Hara), makes him sleep in the attic. After the McCallisters mistakenly leave without Kevin, he is left to defend his home from career burglars Harry (Pesci) and Marv (Stern).

The Background:
A serious contender for the greatest Christmas movie ever made, Home Alone was the brainchild of writer and producer John Hughes, who conceived of the general premise while on holiday. Hughes parlayed with both Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox to give himself a safety net should the film go over budget, and turned to Chris Columbus to direct after the latter had a falling out with star Chevy Chase. Although Hughes pushed for Macaulay Culkin to be cast, Columbus auditioned over two hundred children for the lead role before finally agreeing that Culkin was the best fit, and filming of nighttime scenes was restricted to accommodate his age. Co-star Joe Pesci proved more troublesome to the shoot than the child actor, however, as he was angered by the early starts and struggled to keep himself from swearing. The severity of the film’s stunts also caused some tension during filming, which resulted in Culkin being permanently scarred and a real tarantula being placed on co-star Daniel Stern’s face. Home Alone was a ridiculous success at the time, grossing over $475 million at the box office and being met by largely positive reviews. While the plot and its elaborate traps were criticised, the heart-warming comedy, performances, and Culkin gained the most praise. Over the years, it’s been pegged as a Christmas classic, despite sequels diluting the premise with redundant retreads, and is a Christmas tradition more many, including myself, over the festive season.

The Review:
It’s difficult to think of a movie more synonymous with the Christmas season than this one; maybe Miracle on 34th Street (Mayfield, 1984) or Santa Claus: The Movie (Szwarc, 1985), but it’s a tough call. It’s one of those Christmas movies that’s always on every year and has become as much of a tradition as crackers and pigs in blankets. The film is a whimsical family comedy, but you wouldn’t really know that from the opening moments; when we’re introduced to the lavish McCallister family home, it’s the definition of chaotic, with screaming kids running everywhere, arguing, and their parents being just as bad. They’re all in a tizzy because they’re leaving for the airport in the morning for a luxurious Christmas getaway to France, and so preoccupied with their own problems that none of them notice (or question) the uniformed police officer desperately trying to get their attention. Although they don’t suspect a thing since this was a simpler time, the cop is actually Harry in disguise, covertly casing the neighbourhood to get a sense of its security precautions, something that McCallister patriarch Peter (Heard) really doesn’t seem all that bothered about. Peter’s happy to rely on his automatic lights and locks and such, which really goes a long way to show you how much this unexplainably rich family takes their home (and everything, for that matter) for granted. All the stress of packing and organising such a huge trip means that matriarch Kate (O’Hara) has even less patience for her youngest son’s bratty behaviour than usual; the smallest of his siblings, Kevin is ridiculed by brutish older brother Buzz (Devin Ratray) and snobby sister Linnie (Angela Goethals) for his helplessness since he’s so reliant on his mother that he can’t even pack his own suitcase for the trip.

Fed up of his neglectful family, Kevin revels in finally having his freedom.

There’s a sense that Kevin is frequently forgotten or dismissed even without his extended family in the house; with them there, he hasn’t a chance of being attended to, loses his room to his tight-fisted and grouchy uncle Frank (Gerry Bamman), and is horrified at the prospect of sharing a bed with his young cousin, Fuller (Kieran Culkin), due to his bedwetting. In a house full of noise, Kevin’s only outlet is to be louder than everyone else; he brazenly backchats his mother, offers false apologies when he’s punished for acting out, and causes the ire of his entire family when he rightly lashes out at Buzz for eating his pizza. Despite there being plenty of blame to go around, it’s easier for Kate to punish Kevin by sending him up to the third floor, and Kevin spitefully protests this injustice by wishing that she (and all of them) would disappear and leave him alone. Of course, he has no idea that fate has conspired to make this wish come true; Kevin’s plane ticket was accidentally thrown away while cleaning up his mess, Peter accidentally unplugs the alarm clock and causes them to oversleep and rush around in a panic in the morning, and an annoying neighbourhood kid (Jeffrey Wiseman) throws off Heather McCallister’s (Kristin Minter) head count, meaning nobody notices that Kevin is missing until they’re halfway to Paris (and even then it’s a strange intuition Kate suddenly has for no real reason other than a mother’s instinct). Thus, Kevin’s stunned when he finds his house empty, but this turns to elation when he remembers all the awful things his family has said and done to him, and he immediately indulges his every whim. He robs Buzz’s “life savings” (accidentally trashing his room and setting his pet tarantula loose in the process), orders himself a cheese pizza, eats copious amounts of ice cream and junk food while watching trash TV, and generally has the time of his life, all while narrating to himself and occasionally calling out to his family to punish his behaviour. Of course, it’s not all fun and games for Kevin; he applies aftershave and ends up screaming in agony and is forced to go shopping for a new toothbrush and groceries, overpacking his bags and inadvertently shoplifting after being spooked by his neighbour, Old Man Marley (Blossom), whom he’s terrified of thanks to Buzz’s wild stories of his bloodlust.

As if scary Old Man Marley wasn’t bad enough, Kevin must protect his home from the Wet Bandits.

Although continuously terrified by the old man’s grim façade, this fear is just the start of Kevin’s troubles; unbeknownst to him, Harry and Marv have systematically been robbing every house in the neighbourhood since everyone’s gone away for the holidays and left their homes vulnerable. Although far from an intelligent crook, Harry is clearly the brains of the operation; he cases out each house, evaluating their potential and noting when their security measures, and chastises the dim-witted Marv for his perverse fixation on flooding houses to earn them a reputation as the “Wet Bandits”. While Harry is methodical and meticulous, Marv is loud and bumbling, focused more on haphazardly filling his swag bag rather than searching for high value items. Harry pegs the McCallister’s as the “silver tuna” (mainly because they live in a palace!) and is astonished to find the house seemingly occupied when they go to enter it. Night after night they are dissuaded by Kevin’s elaborate deceptions, mannequins and pulleys to trick them into thinking the house is occupied. Obsessed with ransacking the house, Harry follows Kevin and quickly deduces that he’s home alone; confident that the two of them and their crowbars can handle one little boy, Harry resolves to use force but even doesn’t account for how adaptable (and cruel) Kevin is when backed against the wall. What follows is an absolute massacre that sees the two thieves beaten up, knocked about, and brutalised by Kevin’s homemade traps, each one driving Harry further and further over the edge. Pesci shines in his role as the bad-tempered thief, and you can really tell from his indistinct mumbling, garbled curses, and rising frustration that he was really living his character’s aggravation with this obnoxious little foe.

With their trip ruined, a distraught Kate desperately tries to get back home to her son.

As this is going on, the story continuously jumps over to the McCallister’s, whose Christmas vacation is effectively ruined by the realisation that they left Kevin behind; though Buzz and Frank aren’t concerned, the fun and excitement of the trip has been sucked out of everyone else, compounded by them being stuck in an apartment with nothing to do while Peter waits to hear about potential flights. Wracked with guilt and determined to make it back by any means necessary, Kate stays at the airport and wait for a cancellation after every attempt to call their neighbours and elicit the police’s assistance conveniently fails. Although Kate convinces a kindly old couple (Bill Erwin and Billie Bird) to trade some cash and valuables for a plane trip back to the United States, she’s forced to bounce around airports since she can’t get a direct flight back and naturally becomes frustrated from exhaustion and desperation. Luckily for her, friendly polka musician Gus Polinski (John Candy) takes pity on her; after rambling about his band, their success overseas, and their own transportation issues, he offers her a ride in their van, which she gratefully accepts. Although relieved to finally be on her way, and finding kindred spirits in the band since they’ve lost a lot of time with their families while on the road, she’s bombarded by upbeat polka music and endures Gus’s bizarre story of the time he left his own son in a funeral parlour. While this makes for good comedy and helps to humanise Kate after she was such a snappy bitch, I do feel there could’ve been more to this, I assume they were only able to get the late, great John candy for a day or two so he’s just a glorified cameo but I would’ve liked to see Kate spend more time reflecting on her relationship with Kevin with Gus and the band and less time screaming at airport employees. Speaking of humanising, Kevin is surprised to find that Old Man Marley isn’t the grouchy killer he’d been led to believe; while seeking solace in church after regretting taking his family for granted, Kevin speaks with Marley and learns he’s been branded by cruel lies and is actually a kindly old man who’s estranged from his family. The conversation helps Kevin to better understand his own relationship with his family, galvanises his fighting spirit, and sees Marley become an unexpected saviour in the finale, all while reinforcing the true meaning of Christmas: family.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Home Alone is certainly a product of its time and is far from perfect, but it has a quaint charm that only increases with time. Nowadays, this situation would be resolved in a heartbeat as Kevin could easily call or message his family, but that wasn’t really possible in 1990. It also doesn’t help that the power and phone lines are temporarily (and conveniently) knocked out in the opening scene, limiting Kate’s options, or that everyone in their neighbourhood also happens to be out of town at the same time. I can excuse this just by looking at the McCallister’s house and their neighbourhood; this is clearly a wealthy area, populated by the same kind of people as the McCallister’s, so it makes sense that the well-to-do would jet off over Christmas. However, one thing I’ve never been able to believe is that the McCallister’s were able to get up, get changed, load all their shit into the airport buses, get to the airport, and still make their flight in less than an hour! Even if they hadn’t overslept, I find it very difficult to believe that they’d even get to the airport on time; the lack of airport security is somewhat believable as things were different back then but, realistically, they would’ve been stuck in traffic, at the airport waiting for a later flight, or forced to head home anyway since they should’ve gotten there a good two hours early. Does this detract from my enjoyment of the film? Not at all. It’s a fun little eccentricity that, as I say, only gets more amusing the further we get from the antiquated nineties.

Thanks to his traps, Kevin fends off the thieves and gratefully reunites with his family.

Although he’s just a little boy who is apparently incapable of doing anything without parental guidance, Kevin proves to be a capable and adaptable defender thanks to his many toys, his vast imagination, and his devious and sadistic nature. In less than an hour, he draws up a battle plan that sees him planting a nail on the cellar stairs, flash freezing the stone pathways and steps, leaving broken Christmas ornaments by the window, rigging paint cans, irons, and other items to bash the crooks, and even scorches Harry’s head with a blowtorch! Kevin shoots his foes in the face and crotch, sets up Micro Machines to trip them, and even makes use of Buzz’s pet tarantula when in a tight pinch. It’s all very amusing and entertaining stuff but, while Harry and Marv suffer only superficial and comical injuries as the film turns into a live-action cartoon, the implications of these booby traps are staggering as many would surely be fatal in real life! Although Kevin rigs his house with all these traps and pratfalls, he’s smart enough to have a back-up plan that sees him lure the Wet Bandits into a trap after alerting the police, only for the two to intercept him, battered and hungry for revenge. Luckily, Old Man Marley saves Kevin’s bacon and the two are apprehended, easily charged with all their crimes thanks to Marv’s flooding obsession, but Kevin is still left all alone and morose at having apparently wished away his family. Hoping for a Christmas miracle he tidies and decorates the house only to wake up and find it still empty. This is, of course, a fake-out as Kate arrives soon after, mere moments before the rest of the family, and reconciles with Kevin. Even Buzz is impressed that Kevin didn’t burn the house down, briefly showing Him respect before he sees the state of his room, and Kevin has an emotional embrace with his mother that echoes Marley’s own reconciliation with his estranged family, ending the film on a heart-warming note.

The Summary:
Christmas isn’t Christmas without Home Alone, but I do admit that my affection for the film has waned as I’ve gotten older and more cynical. There’s something about live-action, feel-good family movies that just doesn’t age as well as animated films, particularly when it comes to Looney Tunes-style violence that turns what was a grounded (if whimsical) film into a live-action cartoon, somewhat lowering the stakes even when Harry and Marv get their hands on Kevin. It also doesn’t help that I’ve never been a big fan of Macaulay Culkin; sure, he’s just a little boy here and he definitely does well in the role, but his delivery is a bit cringey at times and Kevin is so unlikeable in the opening and obnoxious when left alone that I find it hard to root for him. I enjoy the wish-fulfilment aspects of the film, where Kevin just goes nuts around the house and with food and acting like a grown-up while still being a little kid, and it’s definitely heart-warming seeing both him and Kate (and the rest of the family) realise how much they mean too each other. But, for me, the appeal of the film is the Wet Bandits; Marv might be an idiot, but Harry is so alluring as a cantankerous, scheming thief whose patience is pushed to the limit by Kevin’s traps and antics. Seeing them fall afoul of Kevin’s booby traps is still the best part of the film, even if it does drastically shift the tone, and I enjoyed the imagination and mischievousness behind Kevin’s antics and traps, I just wish that we’d had some inkling of his ability to set these up beforehand. He goes from a bratty, underappreciated kid to a free-spirited child to setting potentially lethal traps pretty quickly, which I guess speaks to how everyone (even he) underestimates him, but I could’ve done with this being fleshed out a little since we were specifically told that he was Les Incompétents. Ultimately, these are minor gripes from a bitter and aging film nerd; kids and youngsters will still find plenty to enjoy here, even if the film is heavily dated in some aspects, and Home Alone is still a staple of the festive season despite its flaws.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What do you think to Home Alone? Is it a Christmas tradition of yours or do you prefer another Christmas movie; if so, what is it? What did you think to Macaulay Culkin’s performance? Did you enjoy seeing his bobby traps in action? What did you think to the Wet Bandits and Kate’s desperate attempts to get home to her son? Have you ever been left home alone? What did you think to the film’s sequels? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and be sure to check out my other Christmas movie reviews!

Movie Night: The Marvels

Dr. K3 Comments

Released: 10 November 2023
Director: Nia DaCosta
Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures
Budget: $270 million
Stars: Brie Larson, Teyonah Parris, Iman Vellani, Zawe Ashton, and Samuel L. Jackson 

The Plot:
Whilst investigating a universal threat as a favour to Nick Fury (Jackson), Captain Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (Larson) discovers an anomaly in the fabric of space and time caused by venge-seeking Kree commander Dar-Benn (Ashton). Coincidentally interacting with the anomaly at the same time as Captain Monica Rambeau (Parris) and Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel (Vellani) use their own cosmic powers, Danvers finds herself switching places with the two heroes and forced to join forces with them to prevent Dar-Benn from destroying the people dearest to her. 

The Background:
After a 1953 lawsuit regarding Fawcett Comics’ Billy Batson/Captain Marvel, Marvel Comics got to trademark and publish their own “Captain Marvel” stories. While Stan Lee and Gene Colan’s Kree warrior is mostly remembered for his death from cancer in 1982, Mar-Vell was followed by a numerous successors, including Carol Danvers, who overcame online trolls with her critical and commercial debut. Talk of a sequel began before Captain Marvel’s (Boden and Fleck, 2019) release, with star Brie Larson wishing to see Kamala Khan/Ms. Marvel included and MCU head honcho Kevin Feige stating that Marvel Studios had some exciting ideas for a follow-up. After Larson cameoed in adjacent spin-off Ms. Marvel (Various, 2022), which introduced Kamala to the MCU, and Teyonah Parris portrayed a grown-up and superpowered Monica Rambeau in WandaVision (Shakman, 2021), the stage was set for a team-up of the cosmically-empowered heroines, especially after director Nia DaCosta was announced to be helming the sequel and exploring new perspectives on these characters. When other MCU productions caused changes to the script, the filmmakers shifted to focus on the dynamic between the three main characters, with numerous special effects studios contributing to the film’s cosmic scope. Following several delays, The Marvels finally released to polarising reviews; many criticised the surreal moments and rushed narrative and branded it as the worst MCU film to date, while others praised the performances (specifically Iman Vellani) and its fun, kinetic action sequences, Still, as of this writing, The Marvels has barely cleared $165 million at the box office, had the lowest opening weekend of any MCU movie, and is on track to be a box office bomb, leaving the future for these characters murky.

The Review:
I really enjoyed Captain Marvel. At the time, I was fully expecting the film to dictate the next phase of Marvel movies, positioning Captain Marvel as a powerful force in the MCU and establishing the shape-shifting Skrulls as an ongoing threat to these colourful characters. Sadly, however, that didn’t really happen; the movie subverted expectations and cast the Skrulls in a sympathetic light and attempts to make them more antagonistic were questionable, at best. Indeed, the Skrulls barely feature in The Marvels except for a brief sub-plot where Dar-Benn arrives on Tarnax, where they have established a refugee colony under the leadership of Emperor Dro’ge (Gary Lewis), under the guise of a peace treaty simply to create an unstable jump point that strips Tarnax of its atmosphere and forces the Skrulls from their world once more. Despite Captain Marvel having helped settle the colony, and the assistance of her and her new allies in evacuating much of Tarnax and arranging safe refuge with King Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), Emperor Dro’ge is seen to have lost faith in Captain Marvel, primarily because he believes she ruined a chance for the Skrulls to return to prosperity in the Kree Empire and resents her for inviting conflict. Captain Marbel also ended with the promise of Carol avenging herself against her warmongering Kree superiors, a plot point that sadly sets a precedent for The Marvels as it’s simply rushed through, brushed aside, and barely explored, especially considering Carol’s destruction of the now-comic-accurate Supreme Intelligence is the catalyst not just for the slow destruction of the Kree home world, Hala, but also Dar-Benn’s entire vendetta against Captain Marvel. It’s a shame as I would’ve liked to see Carol fighting to free her adopted people from the manipulation and influence of the Supreme Intelligence, but it feels as though there was a Captain Marvel 2 we never got that actually told this story, including a rematch with Yon-Rogg (Jude Law) and her former Starforce allies, as all of this is relegated to a quick flashback and a brief scene where Carol awkwardly expresses guilt over setting the paper-thin plot of this movie in motion. 

Carol and Monica finally reunite, brush past their issues, and join forces.

So, what are we left with instead? Well, Captain Marvel has effectively lost herself to her work; she’s so busy investigating and confronting cosmic threats and trying to atone for essentially dooming Hala to destruction that she’s largely closed herself off to others. The only person she regularly talks to is Fury and the closest thing she has to a friend is the cat-like Flerken, Goose (Nemo and Tango); her shame at being labelled the murderous “Annihilator” has kept her away from Earth and her surrogate niece, Monica, earning her the new-empowered Captain’s resentment. Though haunted by the gaps in her memory and anxious about opening herself up to others, Carol is nonetheless excited to reunite with the grown-up Monica, even more so when she sees that Monica’s not only gained light-based powers of her own that allow her to become intangible, fire bursts of energy, and (eventually) fly, but also followed in and surpassed the footsteps of her mother, Captain Maria Rambeau (Lashana Lynch) by joining Fury’s Strategic Aerospace Biophysics and Exolinguistic Response (S.A.B.E.R.) crew. New to, and resistant towards, the superhero game (she actively resists being labelled with a code-name), Monica struggles to reconcile her conflicting emotions towards her Aunt Carol; on the one hand, she’s glad to be with her again but, on the other, she begrudges Carol for leaving her to face her mother’s death and life after the Blip alone. Still, Monica acquits herself well in this fast-paced cosmic adventure; her powers may be strangely defined, but she takes a commanding role in the threesome and quickly embraces and enjoys teaming up with Carol and Kamala. Because Captain Marvel has definitely been shown to be one of the (if not the most) powerful characters in the MCU, it can be difficult to imagine her struggling against any enemy or ever requiring a team, even though we saw that she is far from an infallible, unstoppable one-woman army in Avengers: Endgame (Russo and Russo, 2019).  

Kamala is the adorable heart and soul of the film and awestruck by her hero.

Still, The Marvels gets around Carol’s incredible and unmatched power through a unique and enjoyable body-swapping mechanic. Thanks to Dar-Benn’s actions and the similarities in their cosmic, light-based powers, Carol, Monica, and Kamala switch places whenever they use their powers in unison; this causes a great deal of distress for the young Ms. Marvel, who suddenly finds herself dumped halfway across the galaxy and fighting Kree warriors and her family – overbearing Muneeba Khan (Zenobia Shroff), astonished Yusuf Khan (Mohan Kapur), and exasperated Aamir Khan (Saagar Shaikh) – threatened by those same forces. Still, Kamala is the shining light in this film; her adorable, infectious enthusiasm is a joy to see and she’s genuinely excited to meet, and team up with, her lifelong hero. When there’s tension between Carol and Monica, Kamala acts as the intermediary, dishing out sympathy, excitement, and hugs despite how in over her head she is. Since Dar-Benn possesses the other mystical bangle, Kamala becomes a target for the fanatical Kree, who wishes to have both so that she can enact the full extent of her diabolical plan, and Kamala is determined to prove herself to Carol, Monica, Fury, and her family. However, as thrilling as it is for Kamala to bond with Carol and Monica (and they do develop a true, charming sisterhood over a few montages), she also learns how dangerous and bleak the superhero life is. Carol’s actions are not always virtuous and she’s forced to make hard choices as often as she is to visit planets like Aladna, where the inhabitants can only communicate through song and dance, though the experience galvanises Kamala’s spirit and inspires her to seek out other young heroes to form a team of their own. Fury was also quite enjoyable here; although he doesn’t work alongside Carol in the same way as the first film, The Marvels repositions him as the principal figurehead for Earth/galaxy relations and he takes an active role in guiding the Marvels and evacuating S.A.B.E.R.’s inhabitants using a clowder of Flerkens in another of the film’s strangely bizarre sequences. 

The vengeful Dar-Benn is a disappointingly bland and forgettable villain.

While the relationship between the Marvels is naturally at the forefront here, and is easily the best element of the film, other aspects are underdeveloped and rushed; The Marvels is the shortest MCU movie to date and really ploughs through all its characterisations and plot, which means things like Monica’s relationship towards Carol and Carol’s shame at her actions are touched upon and then quickly cast aside. However, the real casualty of the film’s brisk pace is the lead villain. Essentially just Ronan the Accuser (Lee Pace) again, Dar-Benn even wields Ronan’s mallet-like staff (which strangely still glows and demonstrates the same properties it did when it had the Power Stone in it), which just lends further credibility to my argument that Ronan should’ve been a recurring threat in the MCU. Dar-Benn sadly ends up as a throwback to villains like Ronan and Malekith (Christopher Eccleston), underdeveloped, one-dimensional bad guys who do “bad guy stuff” simply because the movie needs a bad guy. Dar-Benn’s vendetta is based on Carol destroying the Supreme Intelligence, an act that…somehow…had cataclysmic ramifications for Hala, including destroying its atmosphere, oceans, and even its sun, driving Dar-Benn to use the vaguely-defined bangle to rip open holes in space and time to suck these resources from Carol’s adopted worlds in what is, essentially, the villainous plot from Spaceballs (Brooks, 1987). A driven, fanatical patriot, Dar-Benn is a hero by her people and poses a significant threat to the Marvels thanks to her bangle absorbing their blasts, the power of her mallet, and the confusion caused by them switching bodies, but is ultimately overwhelmed without much trouble and destroyed by her own obsession. She’s sadly far from a memorable villain, despite her posing a legitimate threat to the universe, and is just another aspect of the film that’s not given enough time to flourish onscreen; it’s a real shame as I thought we were past the age of unforgettable, wasted villains in comic book movies but here’s The Marvels to prove me wrong and harken back to lacklustre movies like Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (Story, 2007). 

The Nitty-Gritty:
There are some themes at work in The Marvels, but they’re severely rushed and take a backseat to keeping the narrative and the action moving ever forwards. It’s as though the film is afraid to linger too long on complex emotions and characterisations, or like a good hour or so of the plot was excised in favour of wacky nonsense that bogs down the otherwise intriguing relationship between the Marvels. Monica resents Carol for leaving her and prioritising work over her friends and family, something we learn is as much because of Carol’s humiliation at dooming Hala to destruction as it is because of her duties to the cosmos. Carol believed she was liberating the Kree when she destroyed the Supreme Intelligence but was horrified by the consequences of her actions, which see the Kree brand her as the feared “Annihilator” and target her allies in recompense. While fangirl Kamala is overjoyed to meet and fight alongside her idol, she quickly learns how dangerous the superhero life is when she’s placed in constant danger (much to the concern of her family) and sees that, sometimes, heroes can’t save everyone. Her enthusiasm remains boundless, however, and she’s very much the heart that binds the Marvels together and makes their training montages and interactions even more enjoyable, but The Marvels is handicapped by some truly bizarre sequences. They trio travel to Aladna to warn of Dar-Benn’s threat, a planet where Carol is revered as a princess and married to the forgettable Prince Yan (Park Seo-joon), and where the inhabitants communicate through singing and dancing, forcing a really surreal musical number into the film that feels more at home in Taiki Waititi’s Thor movies (2017; 2022).  

Some fun action mechanics and impressive visuals can’t atone for the film’s more surreal moments,

The Marvels may also alienate those who haven’t seen the Ms. Marvel Disney+ series. Although Kamala and her family are introduced to unaware viewers, they still kind of appear from nowhere for the uninitiated, not unlike the mentions of Westview in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (Raimi, 2022). I firmly believe we’re at a point where MCU fans are digesting every product the MCU puts out, so there probably aren’t many people who are confused when the Disney+ shows are referenced or appear in the movies, but this could escalate into a bigger problem in the future. Still, the inclusion of Ms. Marvel adds to the film’s frantic action sequences; it’s fun seeing the three stumble about, suddenly deposited in different locations and having to quickly adapt to save themselves, and others, as the situation dictates. Through some fun montages and learning to communicate, the Marvels overcome the issue of their body swapping to form a cohesive unit that both allows them to overwhelm Dar-Benn and keeps the ultra-powerful Captain Marvel from simply ending every threat by herself. Cosmic, space-based action is kept to a minimum this time around, with most of the special effects reserved for planetary destruction and depicting rips in the fabric of reality. I will say, though, that Ms. Marvel’s powers look a little iffy at times, though the film’s costumes make up for this, with Carol sporting some snug, sexy uniforms and Kamala getting a nice upgrade that sees her gain a whip-like scarf, though I didn’t care for Monica rejecting adopting a code name and tearing off the disco-wings of her Aladna outfit as, again, I thought we were past the age of mocking superhero tropes. 

The Marvels work together to defeat Dar-Bonn, but Monica sacrifices her freedom to save the galaxy,

So, Dar-Benn’s revenge sees her scour the universe for the sister bangle to Kamala’s heirloom; when combined with Ronan’s staff, this allows her to create unstable jump points that suck air, water, and the sun from worlds that are close to Carol, with the goal of restoring the Kree home world and delivering a decisive blow to Carol. Although she has an army of loyal soldiers at her back, this doesn’t really factor into Dar-Benn’s plan and the Kree exist primarily as cannon fodder for the Marvels to beat up as they save lives and try to confront the head of the snake. This confrontation takes place, naturally, on Dar-Benn’s command ship as she arrives to suck the life out of Earth’s sun and sees the Marvels working in unison to overwhelm their foe, ultimately (and inadvertently) mortally wounding her. Carol echoes Kamala’s compassion for the fallen Kree and, on Monica’s suggestion, offers to reignite Hala’s sun to atone for her actions, which Dar-Benn seems to agree to but she ultimately can’t let go of her vendetta and destroys herself after creating a massive tear in the fabric of reality. Luckily, the Marvels surmise that Carol and Kamala can recreate the energy used to create this tear and use it to empower Monica so she can close it, an action that must be performed from inside the rift and ultimately results in Monica seemingly sacrificing herself to save the universe. Changed by the experiences, Carol decides to spend more time on Earth to wait for Monica’s inevitable return, and Kamala heads out to start her own superhero team, with Fury spearheading the repairs to S.A.B.E.R. to monitor future intergalactic threats. Of course, Monica isn’t dead as a mid-credits scene shows her waking up in a hospital, overjoyed and overwhelmed to find her mother at her side. However, this is a variant of Monica’s mother, one who has adopted the Captain Marvel powers and codename of Binary and works alongside Doctor Henry “Hank” McCoy/Beast (Kelsey Grammer) at the X-Mansion. This was a fun stinger since recent MCU products have laid the groundwork for the X-Men and I enjoyed the inspiration from the nineties’ cartoon, but Beast was an unsightly CGI creation and I remain incredulous to Marvel’s resistance towards recasting new actors as the X-Men, and the idea that Mutants need to step through a tear in reality to exist in the MCU. 

The Summary:
I had high hopes for The Marvels; I really enjoyed Captain Marvel, and Ms. Marvel, and was interested to see Carol and Kamala meet onscreen, and explore the relationship between Carol and Monica. These aspects were, thankfully, exceedingly well realised; the three had some great chemistry, obviously had fun working together, and formed a fun sisterhood that perfectly balanced their different characters and experiences (and inexperiences, in some cases). I don’t normally like body swap narratives (and, in truth, it started to wear out its welcome here in the early going) but, for the most part, it was a fun inclusion; it was a unique way to nerf Captain Marvel’s vast cosmic powers and show her the benefits of working with others, and to repair the rift between her and Monica and induct Ms. Marvel into the wider superhero community. Sadly, that’s about where my praise for The Marvels ends; Dar-Benn is in the running for weakest MCU villain of all time, the plot was slapdash and simple, and any nuance or intrigue laced into the narrative was breezed through to get to the next wacky sequence. It honestly felt like major cuts were made, or we missed an entire movie, and I didn’t care for the half-assed characterisation of Dar-Benn or the mockery of superhero tropes, which are both negative elements of the genre that I thought we had moved on from. On the one hand, I liked that the film didn’t outstay its welcome and had a brisk pace, but I think the overall plot and characterisations (outside of the titular trio) suffered because of it. This is definitely a miss-fire for me, ultimately coming across as a film that exists for the sake of existing and setting up future MCU products rather than delivering a solid follow-up worthy of the principal cast.  

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy The Marvels? What did you think to the dynamic between the trio and which of the three is your favourite? Did you like the film’s brisk pace, or do you agree that certain elements were rushed? Were you also disappointed in Dar-Benn? Are you also annoyed that the X-Men are being introduced as part of the multiverse? Would you like to see the Marvels join forces in a future MCU movie? Whatever your thoughts on The Marvels, leave a comment down below.

Movie Night [Godzilla Day]: Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster

Dr. K2 Comments

Toho’s famous atomic beast, and easily the most recognisable kaiju in the entire world, Gojira first emerged to wreck the city of Tokyo on this day all the way back in 1954 and, in 2016, the day was subsequently declared “Godzilla Day”.

Released: 20 December 1964
Director: Ishirō Honda
Distributor: Toho
Budget: Unknown
Stars: Haruo Nakajima, Yosuke Natsuki, Shoichi Hirose, Akiko Wakabayashi, Masanori Shinohara, and Takashi Shimura

The Plot:
An alien prophetess (Wakabayashi) predicts catastrophic attacks from Godzilla (Nakajima) and Rodan (Shinohara), leading to Mothra intervening to defend humanity. However, when the hydra-like space dragon King Ghidorah (Hirose) appears, the warring kaiju must set aside their differences to battle this devastating new foe.

The Background:
6th August 1946. The height of the Second World War. The Americans dropped two nuclear weapons on Hiroshima and Nagaski, killing tens of thousands of people and forcing the Japanese Imperial Army to surrender. The radioactive fallout saw thousands more dying, and post-war Japan was gripped with nuclear fear, a fear that birthed Gojira, the living embodiment of nuclear destruction. However, soon after this debut in Godzilla (Honda, 1954), the King of the Monsters turned from Japan’s destroyer to its reluctant saviour, defending the country from other kaiju attacks as a matter of principal. Following the commercial success of Godzilla’s last two movies, Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster was rushed into release; it included the return and redesign of fellow kaiju Rodan after a nearly ten-year absence, a recycled Mothra animatronic with marginal changes, and Toho’s most complex kaiju yet, the three-headed dragon King Ghidorah. Arguably Godzilla’s greatest nemesis, King Ghidorah was conceived by Godzilla creator Tomoyuki Tanaka and inspired by the Lernaean Hydra and the Orochi of Japanese folklore, and its debut feature was so successful that it reappeared in Toho’s next giant-monster film the following year.

The Review:
Our story opens with reporter Naoko Shindo (Yuriko Hoshi) visiting a communications centre that’s trying to contact extraterrestrials. Headed by their resident expert (Someshô Matsumoto), they truly believe that “flying saucer people” are out there, and wary of non-believers, so much that Naoko’s scepticism is blamed for their failure to communicate with the aliens. For a group of presumed scientists and academics, they’re oddly fanatical about this; since the world is experiencing an unseasonable heat wave, they’re concerned that a catastrophe is looming and believe the saucer people are their only chance of salvation and find Naoko’s ditzy disinterest to be insultingly narrow-minded…even though she’s simply there to do a job and desires proof. You know, the kind of evidence scientists strive to gather. A small meteor shower interrupts their meeting and draws Naoko’s friend, Professor Murai (Hiroshi Koizumi), and his team to investigate. They discover a large cocoon-like meteor that randomly emits magnetic waves and leaves them baffled. Naoko’s brother, Detective Shindo (Natsuki), likes to tease Naoko about her friendship with Murai; although grown adults, they still bicker like children, and she doesn’t appreciate his remarks or him getting in the way of her career. Shindo is stunned when he’s assigned to protect the visiting Princess Salno of Selgina (Wakabayashi), who’s facing assassination from her ruthless uncle (Shin Ôtomo), who desires her throne. Shindo is even more stunned when Salno appears to be killed when her plane explodes and she crops up as a doomsaying Prophetess who claims to be from Mars and warns that the world faces impending doom unless humanity changes their ways and takes better care of the environment, much to the jeers and doubts of the public.

Shindo and his sister are caught up with a mysterious woman who claims to be from Mars!

Assuming that Salno faked her death to escape her uncle’s assassin (Hisaya Ito), Shindo volunteers to bring her into protective custody, causing a brief conflict when he finds Naoko shielding her in hopes of getting an exclusive story. Drawn from her plane before the explosion by a disembodied alien presence that possesses her, psychiatrist Doctor Tsukamoto (Shimura) later reveals that the Prophetess is just one of a displaced, highly advanced alien race that fled to Earth and assimilate themselves into humanity, losing many of their fantastic abilities in the process, when the Red Planet was decimated by Ghidrah. One of the deadpan Prophetess’ remaining abilities is the ability to predict pending disasters that are repeatedly mocked and ignored; she warns people away from Mount Aso, where the prehistoric kaiju Rodan emerges from the volcano, and advises the fairy-like Shobijin (Emi and Yumi Itō) not to sail home to the benevolent Mothra on Infant Island, which they heed and are thus spared a violent death from Godzilla’s atomic breath. Despite the looming kaiju threat, the assassin and his cohorts continually hound the Prophetess, determined to kill her as per their orders, in a bizarre side-plot that honestly distracts from what we’re all here to see (but I guess it makes a change from following a soldier or a reporter as these films often do). Even with the three kaiju battling in the foreground, the assassin tries to complete his mission and yet somehow misses the easiest kill shot in the world! Although Shindo rushes to her aid and a brief firefight ensues, the assassin is ultimately crushed under falling rocks from the kaiju battle. In all the chaos, Shindo is wounded from a bullet and the Prophetess takes a grazing shot to the head and a nasty fall that conveniently sees the alien presence driven from her body…

Mothra is asked to unite rivals Godzilla and Rodan when Ghidrah goes on a rampage.

By this film, kaiju are well established; despite them slumbering for great lengths of time and occasionally defending humanity, they’re generally regarded as unpredictable and dangerous. One of the most popular and benign is Mothra, who’s such a celebrity that his fairy companions appear on television to reveal that one of the Mothra larvae has died since the previous film and that the remaining larvae is worshipped as a God. Sadly, for a film that boasts four kaiju, it takes ages to see them onscreen, and over forty minutes for Godzilla to show up! Even worse, although Godzilla’s clearly enraged at Rodan’s presence and they awkwardly exchange blows, the film initially focuses on dull political debate and fades to black right as things are getting interesting. The meteor eventually yields the most visually striking aspect of the film, and Godzilla’s greatest nemesis, the titular Ghidrah, a three-headed dragon covered in golden scales. With the Japanese military refusing to employ atomic weapons, they turn to the Shobijin to plead for Mothra’s help. Unfortunately, the fairies admit that Mothra alone isn’t strong enough to battle Ghidrah and the only hope for victory is for the larvae to convince Godzilla and Rodan to team up against the demonic dragon. It takes some time for Ghidrah to cross paths with its foes; until then, the focus is on Godzilla and Rodan, who battle furiously with neither one having a clear advantage (Rodan’s fight allows it to keep Godzilla off-balance and even pick him up and dump him on some power lines, but Godzilla’s functionally indestructible and simply grows more enraged the longer the fight rages on). Their pig-headedness means Ghidrah causes havoc unopposed by either the kaiju or the miliary; indeed, the military don’t even mobilise their tanks or planes to engage Ghidrah and, instead, the ineffectual government places all their faith in Mothra and his desperate plan to join forces with Godzilla and Rodan.

The Nitty-Gritty:
You may have noticed a few inconsistences in my review; these are due to me watching the English dub, which has the Prophetess and her people originate from Mars rather than Venus, pronounces and spells Ghidorah’s name differently and drops its regal title, and changes the traditionally female Mothra to a male. While some purists may argue that the original Japanese audio and English titles are superior (and they’re often right), I usually always go with the dubbed version just to make things easier and because of the often-hilarious line delivery. The film contains an environmental message that echoes sci-fi classic The Day the Earth Stood Still (Wise, 1951); decades before global warming was the hot buzz word, Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster warns about such disastrous concerns as climate change and global warming. The Prophetess foretells that humanity is doomed if they don’t change their ways, but this message falls a little flat as her warnings are not actually about mankind directly and instead refer to the monstrous kaiju that threaten their world. While technically these creatures (with the exception of Ghidrah) could be said to be man-made, given they were mutated by radiation and such, they’re usually always more depicted as a force of nature. Godzilla, especially, is usually always the embodiment of nature’s wrath and man’s hubris taking destructive revenge upon the world, so it’s a little weird to say “you’re dooming yourselves” when actually you mean “a big-ass alien monster’s gonna wreck shit”.

The film is definitely ambitious with its suit effects, though maybe a little too ambitious at times.

Although it takes forever for Godzilla to finally make an appearance, he’s as impressive as ever; while the suit is bulky and incapable of blinking, it’s always a joy to see Godzilla trampling model buildings as people flee in terror. Emerging from its cocoon in a shower of sparks and animated lights, Ghidrah makes for an intimidating foe with its three screeching heads and chaotic lighting blasts; like Rodan, Ghidrah devastates everything in its path with a supersonic crash and, like Godzilla, it emits destructive energy beams, but in the form of wild and crackling lightning. Unfortunately, it does look incredibly ungainly with its bulbous body and lack of arms; while its three dragon-like heads go some way too make up for this handicap, biting and attacking with malicious intent, they also look a bit dodgy flopping and flailing all over the place and I really do think Ghidrah would be even more threatening if it had arms and talons to grab and attack with and just make its body look a little less comical. Unlike their counterparts, Rodan and Mothra are far less versatile and clunky; Rodan may still be a man in a suit but his flying scenes are realised through obvious wires and a powerful wind machine, while Mothra is purely a partially animatronic creature that bumbles about the place spitting silly string because, maddeningly, the filmmakers decided to keep Mothra in his larvae form rather than utilise the more visually interesting (if equally restrictive) moth form. Rodan’s flying scenes are, admittedly, pretty ridiculous; I admire the filmmakers for trying to inject some variety with their kaiju designs and have always had a soft spot for Rodan, but it’s laughable seeing the static model being strung along on wires (alongside a jet engine sound effect) and bashing into Godzilla. Godzilla still uses his atomic breath rather than a destructive beam of energy, meaning both are noticeably weaker than I’d usually expect from the King of the Monsters; Rodan can take the breath at point-blank range and even comically disorientates Godzilla by pecking him repeatedly in the head!

Eventually the three kaiju come together to scare Ghidrah off with ridiculous ease.

Honestly, the fight between Godzilla and Rodan is pretty ridiculous thanks to the filmmakers just being a little too ambitious; Rodan flies about, pecks at Godzilla and its tail, and pushes the Big G back with powerful wind blasts, and Godzilla mostly flails his little arms, whacks Rodan with his tail in a glorified slap fest, and sends rocks flying at his foe that fail to hit with any convincing impact. The two even play dead man’s volley with the boulders, which is presented as two Apex Predators looking to prove their might, and they’re only subdued when Mothra tangles them up in silly string to plead for their co-operation. The Shobijin are on hand to translate; despite their differences, Godzilla and Rodan agree that they have nothing to gain from helping humans and have no interest in getting involved and would rather fight each other. However, the two quickly change their minds when they see Mothra bravely taking on Ghidrah alone and be easily overwhelmed by its lightning bolts. Not that Godzilla or Rodan initially fare much better; Godzilla gets blasted into a bridge and engulfed in raging flames and Rodan injures itself more than its monstrous foe when it knocks Ghidrah out of the air. With Rodan forced to take cover from Ghidrah’s lightning, Godzilla literally drags Mothra back into the fray and goes back to his tried-and-true strategy of chucking and kicking rocks and gets blasted in the crotch for his troubles! Eventually, Godzilla, Rodan, and Mothra come together as best as they (and their cumbersome suits) allow to overwhelm Ghidrah; Godzilla wrestles with it, absorbing the brunt of its attacks, while Mothra nips at its tail and engulfs it with String Shot while being carried on Rodan’s back. Somehow, this is enough to force the hydra to flee, bringing the battle to an anti-climatic end. In the aftermath, Princess Salno exhibits no memories of her time as a Martian beyond a lingering gratitude for Shindo and Mothra heads back to Infant Island with the Shobijin, bidding a fond farewell to his new allies, who have set aside their grievances.

The Summary:
Geez, I may apologise for Godzilla movies a lot and cut them some slack, but this was a pretty awful movie to sit through! The tone is all over the place, emphasising the importance of respecting the world and avoiding global disaster on one hand and then having slapstick kaiju violence the next. While Ghidrah may look intimidating and is depicted as a crazed, destructive alien beast, it’s defeated with a pathetic amount of ease; the film makes a big deal about how Mothra isn’t strong enough to defeat the creature, yet all Godzilla does is hold it still and all Rodan does is carry Mothra so he can string it up! The bulk of the monster madness is focused on Godzilla and Rodan, which would be fine if the fights weren’t so laughably bad! This is only Godzilla’s fifth movie so I understand that all the kinks weren’t figured out yet, and I get that there’s only so much you can do with puppets and suitmation, but maybe the filmmakers should’ve set their goals a little lower and simply focused on Godzilla battling with Mothra and left Rodan out of this since it really didn’t do much against Ghidrah that couldn’t have been accomplished without it. The film also spends way too much time focusing on this batshit crazy Martian presence, or whatever, when it should’ve been focused on the mystery of the glowing meteor. I would’ve skipped the Prophetess and incorporated her environmental message into Shindo, rewritten him to be a scientist investigating the meteor, and had Naoko cover the emergence of the kaiju. Again, I get that we need to follow human characters, but they dominate the film’s runtime and just aren’t very interesting, especially compared to what should’ve been an epic assembling of four bad-ass kaiju with the fate of the Earth at stake. Instead, I never felt like humanity was threatened by Ghidrah and the kaiju action was severely lacking due to the imitations of the suits, meaning Ghidrah’s big debut film ended up being a dull and ultimately forgettable experience for me.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to King Ghidorah’s debut film? Were you also disappointed by the bonkers human sub-plot, or did you enjoy the alien narrative? What did you think to the build up to King Ghidorah’s appearance and powers? Did you also find the kaiju battles lacking? Which incarnation of King Ghidorah is your favourite? What is your favourite Godzilla movie and why? How are you celebrating Godzilla Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Godzilla and King Ghidorah, feel free to leave a comment below and be sure to check out my other Godzilla and kaiju reviews across the site!

Movie Night [Day of the Dead]: Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Dr. K2 Comments

The Day of the Dead (or Dia de los Muertos) is a traditional Latin American holiday on which, every November 1st, the lives of deceased loved ones are celebrated with food, drink, parties, and a great deal of masquerade involving the calacas and calaveras (skeletons and skulls). For me, this seems like the perfect excuse to look back on the long-running and ever-changing zombie genre that was largely popularised by director George A. Romero, which I devoted a great deal of my PhD thesis towards and which has often been used as a parallel to various aspects of society and culture.  

Released: 1 October 1968
Director: George A. Romero
Distributor: Continental Distributing
Budget: $114,000 to 125,000
Stars: Duane Jones, Judith O’Dea, Karl Hardman, Marilyn Eastman, and Kyra Schon

The Plot:
When the recently deceased suddenly return to life, traumatised Barbra (O’Dea) takes shelter in a farmhouse alongside pragmatic Ben (Jones) and antagonistic Harry Cooper (Hardman). With tensions rising and the walking dead closing in, the group struggles to survive, co-exist, and make sense of this strange phenomenon.

The Background:
Ever since the 1930s, zombies have appeared in movies in one form or another, either as mindless slaves, voracious cannibals, or in their most famous form: the shambling undead. After growing bored with directing television commercials, George A. Romero and his friends, John Russo and Russell Steiner, decided to capitalise on growing trends for more bizarre content and produce a horror movie. Initially conceived of as a horror comedy about adolescent aliens, it was Russo who decided the creatures being flesh-eating reanimated corpses, which Romero infused with heavy inspiration from the macabre revolutionary themes of I Am Legend (Matheson, 1954) and its first screen adaptation, The Last Man on Earth (Salkow and Ragona, 1964). Although the role of Ben was written as a Caucasian, Duane Jones impressed Romero in his audition and the script was revised based on his input; his casting and portrayal inspired numerous racial readings and made the film surprisingly progressive for the time. The low-budget impacted the options available to the filmmakers; chocolate syrup, entrails from butcher shops, and simple make-up effects brought the gore and ghouls to gruesome life and, while simplistic by today’s standards, proved shocking and outrageous at the time. Despite the controversy it caused, Night of the Living Dead was a massive hit with its box office gross of over $30 million; although critics dismissed it at the time, Night of the Living Dead has since been regarded as a horror classic, one of the best of its era, and it was preserved in the National Film Registry in 1999. The film was not only followed by subsequent sequels (both official and unofficial) and (thanks to an agreement between Romero and Russo) a similarly-named adjacent series) that expanded and refined the zombie concept, but heavily influenced the portrayal of zombies for decades. Remade in 1990 to recoup some profit after legal issues saw the original become public domain, Night of the Living Dead is also the most remade film in history.

The Review:
When I decided to spend a year of my PhD discussing the original Resident Evil movies (Various, 2002 to 2016), I found myself deeply entrenched in the rich and lengthy lore of zombie cinema, tracking their origins as voodoo slaves in White Zombie (Halperin, 1932), their vampire-like depiction in I Am Legend and the first of its many adaptations, The Last Man on Earth, and, of course, charting the history of Romero’s genre-defining depiction of the living dead. I found that zombies are one of the most enduring horror creatures not just in cinema, but in mainstream media; they’ve been as persistent as they appear in movies, changing from shambling ghouls to rage-filled savages, and continue to be popular inclusions in horror media thanks to how versatile they are. Honestly, though, this kind of research and in-depth exposure to zombie cinema kind of ruined my appreciation for zombie movies; many are low-budget, derivative affairs or simply repeat the same lessons established by Romero decades ago, meaning it can be hard to find quality zombie movies. Although well renowned as the grandfather of this sub-genre of horror, Romero’s first effort in bringing zombies to un-life is fraught with issues, ranging from the obvious low budget and stilted performances to inconsistences in the portrayal and behaviour of the titular living dead as these aspects wouldn’t be refined until the far more visually and philosophically interesting (but, blasphemously, still quite tedious, in my opinion) sequel. I also feel compelled to specify here that I’m looking at the black and white original rather than the many different re-releases or the bastardised colour version, simply to give my thoughts on Romero’s original vision as depicted so controversially decades ago.

Unlike Ben, who takes charge as a resourceful leader, Barbra is little more than a traumatised mouse.

We open with Barbra and her brother, Johnny (Russell Streiner), reaching the end of a regular 200-mile round trip to place a wreath on their father’s grave at the behest of their mother. Johnny, exasperated at regularly having to waste his days commemorating a man he barely even remembers, just wants to get back home and stop throwing away good money for sentiment. While Barbra is happy to make the trip and thinks fondly of her father, Johnny has no time for lingering and amuses himself by teasing Barbra since she’s still scared by cemeteries. Indeed, Barbra’s previous resolve in chastising Johnny’s attitude falters when he starts bullying her, but they’re both horrified when a strange, shambling man (Bill Hinzman) suddenly attacks them. Although Johnny bravely (if awkwardly) tries to fight the man off, he ends up bashed into a gravestone, leaving Barbra fleeing in terror. After…somehow…crashing her car, Barbra is forced to take refuge in a nearby farmhouse; though she arms herself with a knife, she’s unable to call for help due to mysterious interference on the line but, luckily, Ben shows up and immediately takes charge. If you’re hoping for a strong, capable female lead then you’re out of luck, Barbra is so crippled by fear that’s practically catatonic, sleepwalking through the rest of the film and completely giving into despair while Ben is forthright and bravely tackles the ghouls with a tyre iron. Although he’s just as scared as her, his thoughts are on practical matters such as food, lights, and arming himself with a rifle; Barbra’s distressed state aggravates him, but he keeps his cool and puts her to work helping to secure the house against further attacks to await rescue. Eloquent, intelligent, and charismatic, Ben hides his fear and confusion behind productive tasks and narrating his observations and the horrors he’s seen aloud, something he’s forced to do since Barbra too shocked to be much conversation. When Barbra descends into hysteria, so desperate to save Johnny that she almost runs out into further danger, Ben’s forced to physically subdue her to keep her calm, allowing him to finish fortifying the house and glean insight into the crisis from a radio broadcast.

Tensions rise between the survivors, who are faced with a clash of ego and the undead.

Considering it takes Ben some time (presumably a couple of hours) to finish fortifying the house, it comes as a surprise to both them and the audience when other survivors emerge from the cellar. Naturally, Ben is incensed to learn that Harry, his wife and daughter, Helen (Eastman) and Karen (Schon), and lovers Tom (Keith Wayne) and Judy (Judith Ridley), chose to hide rather than investigate the screaming and commotion. Ben’s natural instinct is to help people, no matter the danger, whereas Harry reasoned it wasn’t worth risking their lives and their safety helping others. Having witnessed the strength and tenacity of the ghouls, Harry is adamant that they’re all safer in the cellar, regardless of the fortifications, and both make valid arguments since the cellar allows them to better fend off attacks, but the house gives them a fighting chance and more escape routes. Tom does his best to play peacekeeper, but Harry stubbornly refuses to listen to reason, primarily due to fear, his shame at feeling said fear, and a deep-seated need to protect his family. Although the ghouls briefly breaking through the windows seems to prove Harry’s point, he’s aggrieved when Ben refuses to share any of the upstairs food or resources; it seems Harry wants it both ways, but Ben firmly draws a line and delivers a stern ultimatum: “You can be the boss down there. I’m boss up here”, enraging the overprotective and stubborn father. Taking his chances upstairs, Tom has the anxious and caring Judy join them while Harry barricades himself and his family downstairs out of a pig-headed fixation on being “right”. Weary of his bullish ways, Helen echoes Ben’s remarks about Harry’s shortsightedness, which cuts them and their sick daughter off from information and potential rescue. Like Tom, she emphasises co-operation and compromise, allowing them to trade places with Judy to learn more about the crisis, though he continues to rile Ben up with his antagonistic and cynical attitude. Helen is encouraged by news of rescue centres nearby and Ben devises a plan to hold off the ghouls with flaming torches so they can refuel his truck and get medical help for Karen, but the plan goes horribly awry, resulting in Tom and Judy’s fiery deaths, and Ben unloads his rage onto Harry when he refuses to let him back into the house, leading to the two tussling for the rifle.

Night established and popularised many of the characteristics of zombie media.

In their first appearance, Romero’s living dead are noticeably different to what we’d see in his sequels and subsequent zombie media. The first thing to note, of course, is that the living dead are never referred to as “zombies”; this term would be as fastidiously avoided and mocked as Romero’s opinions on running zombie variants, meaning the living dead have more in common with Matheson’s interpretation of vampires than the brain-devouring zombie of mainstream imagination. Consequently, the living dead are referred to as anything but zombies; described as “ghouls”, “things”, “them”, and “assassins”, the living dead are also noticeably less gruesome than in later movies, potentially because the zombie outbreak is so recent and the undead so freshly turned. Similarly, Romero avoids explaining the sudden return of the living dead; a news report speculates radiation from an exploding space probe, but divine will is also implied (Johnny mocks Barbra’s prayer and admits to no longer attending church, and is the first to die). The zombie outbreak is treated as a sudden and confusing attack, almost like an epidemic; at first, characters ignore or mock the signs but they’re soon relying on radio broadcasts for scant information and how to combat the voracious ghouls. Night of the Living Dead establishes the basic rules of the undead: for whatever reason, the recently-deceased return in a near-mindless state, driven only by the need to consume human flesh. Rather than infecting people, their bites simply expedite the deaths of their victims; because of radiation from the Venus prove, anyone who dies will then reanimate with a taste for murder and cannibalism. Though slow and shambling and driven back by fire, the ghouls are incredibly persistent and dangerous in large groups; they can only be permanently put down with a blow to the head, destroying their brain, or removing the head entirely, and people are encouraged to forgo proper funeral procedures and immolate the corpses as soon as possible. Unlike most iterations of zombies, however, the ghouls are decidedly less monstrous here; many are more like entranced slaves or crazed maniacs, meaning they can use tools or rocks where brute strength fails and young Karen even uses a trowel to stab her mother to death rather than going for the jugular as you might expect.

The Nitty-Gritty:
There’s a certain classic charm to revisiting the old black and white horrors of yesteryear; everything has a distinctly old-timey and almost gothic atmosphere, which is only extenuated by the greyscale visuals. Yes, it does make some of the night-time action difficult to make out and it’s not for everyone, but I always appreciate this era of cinema as it evokes feelings of nostalgia and appreciation for these filmmakers, who did the best they could on a limited budget and with the technology of the time and, in many cases, pioneered filmmaking effects that we still see in cinema to this day. Even in this first tentative outing for the living dead, Romero positions the ghouls as social commentary; their mindless, savage, almost primal nature explicitly reflects the dichotomy between the survivors, particularly Ben and Harry, who constantly butt heads. There’s a startling message related to this through the simple depiction of the ghouls co-existing and even working together, despite being incapable of communication, to problem solve and better devour their prey; in contrast, the survivors are equally unable to communicate due to fear, tension, and ego and absolutely incapable of working together for these same reasons. It’s these emotional responses that see other survivors uniting against their monstrous foes as a paranoid, trigger-happy mob that’s as inhuman as the ghouls they target, creating a thematic parallel that begs the question who the real monsters are, us or “them”? Naturally, you can read into this even further thanks to Ben being a Black man; though the most level-headed and practical, he’s met with suspicion (even from Barbra, initially) and hostility, which opens itself up to racial prejudice due to his skin colour and Harry’s overly aggressive demeanour, and the ghouls are also framed as being this unknowable threat not unlike  foreign invader that “normal” folk struggle to understand and fight back against with extreme prejudice.

Despite surviving the horrifying night, Ben is callously shot dead as humanity blindly fights back.

Although Johnny’s death is disappointingly lame and bloodless, the suddenness and brutality of is where the true horror lies; still, Night of the Living Dead contains a fair amount of gore, including a partially mangled (presumably eaten) corpse in the farmhouse, some rudimentary decomposition effects, a surprising amount of flaming bodes, and sickening scenes of ghouls feasting on Tom and Judy’s entrails and chargrilled flesh. Still, Night of the Living Dead focuses more on tension and both internal and external threats. Although Harry covers their exit with Molotov cocktails, he takes advantage of the situation to claim dominion over the entire house. Unsurprisingly, given they’ve been measuring dicks the entire time, Ben fights him for control of the only gun, resulting in Harry being fatally shot due to his hubris. Having succumbed to her injuries, Karen reanimates and feasts on her father’s body before stabbing her mother to death. As she and the other ghouls close in, Barbra finally snaps out of her stupor, only to be dragged into the writhing masses by Johnny, and this irony is quickly followed by Ben, the sole survivor, being forced to take refuge in the cellar when his barricades fail. After putting down the reanimated Harry (which seems as much out of spite as it for survival) and Helen, Ben waits it out and survives the night; since the ghouls go down pretty easily when you have the right weapons, the danger seems to be mostly contained by the authorities and gun-toting locals, who pick the living dead off with ease. When they come to dispatch the ghouls near the farmhouse, Ben emerges from the cellar, attracted to the gunfire, but his caution proves his undoing; since he’s skulking around in the darkness, he’s mistaken for a ghoul and promptly executed on the spot. As the credits play, his body (and those of all the characters, ghouls and human alike) is dispassionately dumped onto a bonfire and burned in one of the bleakest endings in all of horror cinema.

The Summary:
There’s a reason Night of the Living Dead is considered a horror classic and the forefather of zombie media. A low-budget affair that made the most of its resources, the film is a bleak mediation on humanity; simple ideas such as co-operating, coming together in a crisis, and working together to overcome an aggressive foe are present and resonate even to this day, where we’re more likely to turn against each other than set aside our differences. Although not as explicit as in his later movies, the ghouls are clearly utilised as an allegory for these matters, and various others; the fear and inevitability of death, the danger of the unknown, the savage nature of man are all valid readings of Night of the Living Dead.  It’s also incredibly progressive in terms of Black representation; Ben is a keen, intelligent, and proactive survivor haunted by what he’s seen but determined to help others and make a fighting stand until rescue comes. While he can be as abrasive as Harry, his stubborn demeanour comes from a place of logic and reason and he’s constantly trying to increase their chances of survival, only to be met with pig-headed resistance. Harry might be an asshole, but you can see where he’s coming from; he’s scared and wants to protect his family, even if it means sacrificing others. Sadly, Helen (and women in general) don’t fare quite as well; portrayed as meek and generally useless, women just kind of get in the way or are oppressed and bossed about rather than contributing anything meaningful, though this does allow discussions about gender equality and machismo. Night of the Living Dead also established many of the “rules” for zombie cinema; although its ghouls aren’t as monstrous as later zombies and are more like entranced slaves, there’s a mystery and a danger to them when they gather in large numbers against vulnerable victims. However, it’s true that the film hasn’t aged very well; the performances and some themes are questionable, and there have been better zombie movies made since (by Romero himself, no less) that both overshadow this one and expose its flaws, though it remains recommended viewing for any fans of the genre, for sure,

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you consider Night of the Living Dead a classic of the genre? Were you surprised to see a Black man take such a proactive role? What did you think to the tension and rivalry between Ben and Harry? How did you interpret the ghouls and what did you think to their characterisation here? What do you think caused the zombie outbreak and how do you think you would react in such a scenario? What is your favourite zombie film and what do you think of the genre in general? How are you celebrating the Day of the Dead today? Whatever your thoughts on Night of the Living Dead, and zombie films in general, feel free to leave a comment below or leave your thoughts on my social media, and check out my other zombie content across the site.

Movie Night [Halloween]: Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Dr. K4 Comments

Starting life as the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts, Halloween is largely associated not just with ghosts, ghouls, and confectionery but also a long-running series of horror movies. Beginning with John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978), the franchise is largely credited with birthing the “slasher” sub-genre of horror films and has endured numerous remakes and reboots and is one of the most influential films in all of horror.

Released: 22 October 1982
Director: Tommy Lee Wallace
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $2.5 million
Stars: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Brad Schacter, Dick Warlock, and Dan O’Herlihy

The Plot:
Doctor Dan Challis (Atkins) and Ellie Grimbridge (Nelkin), the daughter of a murder victim, uncover a terrible plot by small-town mask maker Conal Cochran (O’Herlihy) to mass murder of children on Halloween using an ancient Celtic ritual and a triggering device contained in a television commercial.

The Background:
Despite critics largely dismissing it at the time, John Carpenter’s Halloween’s box office gross of over $63 million against a paltry $300,000 to 325,000 budget made it one of the most successful independent films ever made. The film not only popularised the clichés of the slasher genre, but is also now regarded as one of the most influential movies of its genre, all of which meant that a sequel was all-but-inevitable. Writer/director John Carpenter wasn’t enthusiastic about this, or his final script, but (despite the usual critical mauling), Halloween II (Rosenthal, 1981) was a box office success, so the studio pushed for a third entry. Carpenter and his producer partner Debra Hill only agreed to deliver another film if it went in a different direction, one that didn’t focus on the iconic Michael Myers/The Shape (Various). They, and director Tommy Lee Wallace, instead wanted to create a horror anthology movie series, with yearly films focusing on different aspects of the season and this one drawing inspiration from the sci-fi classic, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Siegel, 1956). The film’s creepy Halloween masks were created by special effects guru Don Post out of latex and the cast was comprised of character actors and former Carpenter collaborators (though veteran actor Dan O’Herlihy later admitted that he didn’t think much to the film), and Wallace later stated that he enjoyed the entire experience and was disheartened by the film’s negative response. Indeed, Halloween III: Season of the Witch brought in just $14 million at the box office and was met with largely negative reviews; critics disliked the execution, the nonsensical plot, and the ludicrous antagonists, with Michael’s absence being particularly noted for many. Although some regard the film as an under-rated horror classic, Carpenter’s experiment didn’t pay off and the decision was made to bring Michael back some six years later, and he’s been the star of the franchise ever since.

The Review:
This one’s a tough one for me. Unlike, say, the Friday the 13th series (Various, 1980 to present), which potentially could’ve lived on (at least for a film or two) with other killers donning the iconic hockey mask of Jason Voorhees (Various), I’m not entirely certain if Halloween was meant to involve anyone or anything other than Michael Myers. I think maybe if the second film hadn’t been a direct sequel then this anthology format might’ve had more legs, but it feels weird to do two Myers-centric movies and then suddenly veer into anthology territory. Honestly, more than anything I’m surprised it got made at all; the idea of producing a horror sequel without its main villain and with no ties to the previous movies seems unusual today but even more so back in the eighties, when horror franchises were churning out yearly films featuring their popular slasher villains. Although Myers was very clearly and definitively killed off in Halloween II, it took the bare minimum of handwaving to explain his return in subsequent films, and I’m genuinely baffled that the producers didn’t simply accelerate that logic for a Carpenter-less third movie and produce this film as a separate endeavour, but clearly it was an attempt to cash-in on Halloween’s success and placate John Carpenter, because why wouldn’t you want him around? The film begins in October, some eight days before Halloween, and finds shop owner Harry Grimbridge (Al Berry) pursued by mysterious, stoic men in suits. Exhausted, hurt, and clutching one of Silver Shamrock’s coveted Halloween masks, he’s barely able to escape and is taken to a hospital, where he’s placed under the care of Dr. Challis.

Dr. Challis and Ellie investigate the mysterious Silver Shamrock company and stumble upon a mad plot!

As if being consumed by a demanding and stressful job wasn’t bad enough, Dan’s relationship with his ex-wife, Linda (Nancy Kyes), is further strained by him being a borderline alcoholic. His attempts to be a good and doting father are admirable, but he’s constantly one step behind; he brings his kids, Bella (Michelle Walker) and Willie (Joshua Miller), Halloween masks but they already have two of the Silver Shamrock ones and he’s constantly being called back to work. Dan’s attempts to treat Harry are made more difficult by his ranting, which nobody notices is triggered by the Silver Shamrock commercials, and the arrival of one of the men in black, who cracks his skull through the eye sockets! For a doctor, Dan sure does enjoy extracurricular activities; while his flirtations towards Nurse Agnes (Maidie Norman) seem to all be in good fun and appreciated, it’s still inappropriate behaviour in the workplace and he seems very friendly with the assistant coroner, Teddy (Wendy Wessberg), which leads me to believe that his marriage broke down due to him being unfaithful. Indeed, after Harry is murdered and his killer immolates himself, all it takes is one look at Harry’s daughter, Ellie (Nelkin), and Dan abandons his patients and responsibilities and travels to the Silver Shamrock factory in Santa Mira, California to investigate further. Ellie is absolutely heartbroken and incensed at her father’s random and vicious murder; after spotting Dan at the funeral, Ellie tracks him down to find out more and he reluctantly reveals that Harry was paranoid that he was going to be killed. She takes him to her father’s store and shares her research into her father’s records, which points them towards Santa Mira, and Dan’s so moved by her plight that he passes up seeing his kids (much to Linda’s fury) to join her. She’s surprisingly happy to share a bed with him without much coercing (it must be the moustache because he looks old enough to be her father!…unless that’s what she’s into…) and to masquerade as potential customers to get a tour of Cochran’s factory, which is like something out of Roald Dahl. While she has a fair amount of spunk and is determined to get to the bottom of her father’s death, there’s not much to Ellie; she’s certainly not shy about her sexuality but, despite claiming to be “older than she looks”, she’s still prone to emotional outbursts and is thus easily captured by Cochran’s men, disappearing for a big chunk of the film and returning simply to be a pretty hostage for our surprisingly gung-ho male protagonist to rescue.

Despite his friendly persona, Cochran employs killer androids and plans to murder countless children!

Silver Shamrock made its fortune manufacturing toys; with Halloween fast approaching, they’ve embarked on an aggressive and aggravating marketing campaign for their special Halloween masks, which all the kids are dying to get their hands on. The company is headed by Irish entrepreneur Cochran, whose factory and business brings prosperity to Santa Mira; played with an alluring glee by expert villain Dan O’Herlihy, Cochran is a magnetic and generous old man who takes great pride in his work, his attention to detail, and the prosperity he’s brought to Santa Mira. Although he brought in his own workers from overseas and much of the town is made up of his fellow Irishmen, hardly anything happens in town without his say-so or involvement and he’s extremely eager to please his customers and investors with accolades and generosity. However, while he appears a friendly and courteous old man, Cochran hides a dark secret within his factory walls and, thanks to O’Herlihy’s presence, is constantly shrouded in a sinister cloud. Many of his workforce are mute, relentless android assassins who carry out his every whim without question; garbed in suits and pursuing their targets relentlessly, they are superhumanly strong, capable of gouging out eyes, ripping off heads, and enduring a great deal of punishment. In many ways, their silent implacability conjures memories of Michael Myers (fitting since the head android was played by the Shape himself, Dick Warlock), but even these unsettling minions are just a fraction of Cochran’s true intent. It turns out that his masks contain a special microchip that gruesomely kills whoever is wearing them and causes writhing snakes and bugs to burst from their heads!  This is all part of his insidious plot to evoke an ancient pagan ritual from his native Celtic lands of sacrificing children during the time of Samhain, a plot that requires a chunk of Stonehenge which he was somehow able to steal and transport to the United States without being detected!

The Nitty-Gritty:
You can tell that Halloween III is going for something completely different right away; gone is the haunting, atmospheric “Halloween” theme and unsettling pumpkin in the credits, replaced by an ominous synth theme courtesy of John Carpenter and Alan Howarth, basic credit text, and a decidedly eighties computer-generated credit sequence that merges the themes of Halloween and technology (specifically evoking the pixelated aesthetic of television and computer screens). The film also goes out of its way to make it clear that its events aren’t set in the same continuity as the previous films since a trailer for Halloween plays on a television at one point. However, while the score is fitting for what basically amounts to a techno/horror piece and evokes memories of John Carpenter’s The Thing (Carpenter, 1982) and The Terminator (Cameron, 1984), your days will be tormented forever more by the incessant Silver Shamrock jingle, which cheerily counts down the days until Halloween to the tune of “London Bridge is Falling Down”. The intention is pretty obvious, to capture kids’ attention with dancing images, a memorable song, and encourage them to buy the masks and it’s pretty evocative of the aggressive and shameless marketing campaigns of toys and videogames over the years, but the subtext is quite clever as well: it can’t be a coincidence or just a financial decision that “London Bridge is Falling Down” is used as the base tune since Cochran’s ultimate plan is the cause widespread death and destruction, after all.

Some gory scenes and bizarre events help make the film a little more memorable, as weird as they are.

If there’s one thing Halloween III has going for it, it’s a somewhat decent sense of atmosphere; when Dan and Ellie roll into Santa Mira, they’re met with suspicion and intrigue by the townsfolk since. For the most part, the film is a bit of a murder-mystery tale, with Dan and Ellie posing as a couple and trying to find out more about the company and investigating the strange town with its many surveillance cameras and even a curfew (which doesn’t stop Dan going out at night to an open liquor store, making you wonder why there’s a curfew in the first place…), and Dan proves to be quite the sleuth. Of course, his habitual lying and infidelity goes a long way to helping with his subterfuge; Linda is so fed up of his constant excuses and lies that she offers little support or compassion when he’s rattled by the deaths at the hospital and he gets so into his little charade with Ellie that it’s not long (barely a day) before they’re getting it on in their motel room. While they suspect that there’s more going on behind Silver Shamrock’s walls, they could never have guessed the truth but we get to see it in gory detail as one of Cochran’s androids trips the head off a hobo (Jon Terry) for daring to disparage the company’s name. Disgruntled buyer Marge Guttman (Garn Stephens) also indirectly feels Cochran’s wrath after she fiddles around with a mask and gets a mouthful of laser due to a “misfire” that leaves her a mutilated husk for creepy-crawlies to wriggle out of! After Ellie is kidnapped by Cochran’s androids, Dan is fights one off, punching right through its stomach and rendering it immobile, but the realisation that Cochran utilises life-like machines leaves him shellshocked and he’s easily apprehended by the toymaker. Instead of killing the nosy doctor, Cochran decides it’s far better to take him into the hidden laboratory beneath his toy factory and to explain his master plan in minute detail (well, except for explaining how the fuck he got that chunk of Stonehenge there, which he simply laughs off).

Although Dr. Challis destroys Cochran’s operation, it’s left ambiguous whether he stopped his evil scheme…

Fascinated and enamoured by the power of even a fragment of the ancient rock, Cochran delights in showing off exactly what his masks can do by forcing Dan to watch as his best seller and his family (Ralph Strait, Jadeen Barbor, and Brad Schacter) are subjected to the final Silver Shamrock commercial, which sucks the life out of the boy and sees him torn apart by bugs and snakes, which then attack his family. As kids all over the country eagerly await the “big giveaway” at nine, and Teddy is murdered via a drill to the head by one of Cochran’s androids (a scene that might’ve worked better if it had come earlier in the film before we knew for sure that they were androids…), Cochran straps Dan to a chair, fits him with a mask, and explains his motives: not only does he think it’s a lark, but he’s disgusted that people have forgotten Halloween’s roots and relishes bringing back the old ways of ritual sacrifice. With little more than an hour and ten minutes to go, Dan cuts himself free without much effort and escapes using a conveniently oversized ventilation shaft. His caricature of John McClane (Bruce Willis) continues as he sneaks across the factory roof and through the warehouse to rescue Ellie (…her door wasn’t even locked…) and he even reaches the control panel, figures out its controls, and activates the Silver Shamrock commercial without being spotted! He then dumps a load of the microchips over Cochran’s androids and equipment, shorting them both out and sending everything haywire, earning him a little appreciative applause from Cochran before he’s zapped by the rock. Fleeing from the horrendously rendered factory explosion, Dan races to interrupt the commercial, only to be attacked by Ellie, who turns out to be a robot duplicate (or…maybe she was a robot all along? Who even knows at this point!) Luckily, he avoids having his head ripped off and beheads her with a tyre iron, but we’ll never know if he succeeded in shutting off all the deadly commercials since the film dramatically cuts to the credits right as he’s desperately screaming at the television network to cut the feed…

The Summary:
I think everyone can agree that Halloween III: Season of the Witch is a bit of an anomaly; not only does it not include or even have anything to do with Michael Myers or the previous two films, it doesn’t even have anything to do with a witch beyond a brief reference to the pagan rituals of Samhain. I’d wager that this film is known for two things: not including the franchise’s masked killer and its surprisingly bleak ending, and only one of those points actually works in its favour. An altogether bizarre film from start to finish that awkwardly blends together technology and the supernatural, I think Halloween III was maybe trying a little too hard to be something different. Cochran’s plot might’ve been easy to swallow if it had fallen into one side or the other but having these lifelike android assassins existing alongside a magical piece of Stonehenge that he was…somehow…able to turn into killer microchips that spawn insects from Halloween masks and leave countless children dead is all very hodgepodge and none of it really feels like it fits together. It’s like the film was two scripts that got jumbled up and, while I applaud the attempt to try something different, the bleak ending, and the dark, sinister undertones (it’s rare that even horror films kill kids, after all), the final execution is quite sloppy. Tom Atkins does a decent job but he’s not much of a leading man; the visual of this middle-aged, womanising alcoholic being our unlikely protagonist doesn’t inspire much confidence, though I did enjoy his investigation into Silver Shamrock and his wife constantly admonishing him for being a lying, selfish asshole. Dan O’Herlihy’s captivating, menacing screen presence and some deliciously gory death scenes help this film limp along towards its memorably grim ending but, overall, you can easily skip this one in favour of any other horror film and have a far better time. I do believe that there was some potential in a Halloween anthology series, but the third film wasn’t the time to do that and this concept certainly wasn’t capable of matching its predecessors; I’d also wager that if this film didn’t have “Halloween” in its title then no one would have ever seen it and it’d be lost to the mists of time, which really tells you everything you need to know about this misfire of a movie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Halloween III : Season of the Witch? What did you think to the attempt to take the series in a new direction with an unrelated story? How clued up are you on Samhain and the pagan origins of the season? Did you enjoy the mystery element of the film and the gory kills? What did you think to Cochran’s plan and his execution? Were you a fan of the sudden, potentially bleak ending and do you think Dan was able to interrupt the broadcast? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, and the Halloween franchise, drop a comment below, or leave a comment on my social media, and have a spook-tacular Halloween!

Movie Night: The Crow: City of Angels

Dr. K7 Comments

Released: 30 August 1996
Director: Tim Pope
Distributor: Miramax Films
Budget: $13 million (estimated)
Stars: Vincent Pérez, Mia Kirshner, Richard Brooks, Thuy Trang, Iggy Pop, Thomas Jane, and Eric Acosta

The Plot:
Mechanic Ashe Corven (Pérez) and his young son, Danny (Acosta), are brutally murdered by zealot Judah Earl (Brooks) and his thugs. After being resurrected by a mysterious and supernatural crow, Ashe is guided by the aloof Sarah Mohr (Kirshner) and assumes the guise of a tragic clown to avenge his loss using his newfound superhuman abilities.

The Background:
Beginning as a comic book published by Caliber Comics in 1989, The Crow was the brainchild of James O’Barr. The main character, named simply “Eric”, was modelled after prominent rock musicians and brutally slayed those who killed him and his fiancée as a reaction to the pain and loss O’Barr felt after losing his own fiancée. The Crow became an underground success and, since dark comic book narratives were becoming popular in Hollywood, transitioned into a critically and commercially successful film adaptation despite the accidentally on-set death of star Brandon Lee. While The Crow (Proyas, 1994) is regarded by many as a cult hit, the same accolades can’t be said about its sequel, which came as a direct response to the financial success of the first film. Initially, director Tim Pope and writer David S. Goyer planned to take the sequel in a different direction to avoid copying or emulating the original movie. They pitched having Sarah become a female Crow (a concept later explored in the comic books) or setting the story in the 19th century before ultimately settling on another tale of urban vengeance. It was the producers, however, who most directly engineered the film to be more of a carbon copy of the first, dramatically cutting down Pope’s original 160-minute cut into a jumbled mess of muddy visuals and confusing plot points. Despite the popularity of the first film, The Crow: City of Angels failed to recapture the magic of its predecessor; it barely grossed over $25 million at the box office and has been met with scathing criticism for its awful execution, lacklustre lead actor, and woeful narrative and pacing. Despite this, Miramax continued producing Crow movies and spin-offs, and some have even argued that The Crow: City of Angels is an under-rated entry in the franchise. Spoiler alert: I am not one of them but, as The Crow is one of my favourite movies and tonight is “Devil’s Night”, I figured this would be a good opportunity to look back on this shambles of a film and see how it holds up.

The Review:
I’ve been a huge fan of The Crow ever since I was a kid and randomly stumbled upon it on one of our many VHS tapes; it took me a little while to be equally impressed with the bleak and harrowing comic book, but the film had a huge impact on me at a time when I was really getting into dark and gritty comic book comics, stories, and anti-heroes. While the story didn’t really lend itself to a sequel since everything was wrapped up nicely in the film and it seemed very self-contained, the concept leaves plenty of wriggle room for other avatars to be resurrected and seek justice (or revenge, depending on your perspective) for the wrongs they suffered in death. It’s not as if it should really be all that difficult, either; there was plenty of material in James O’Barr’s comic that hadn’t been used in the first film, or was left on the cutting room floor, that could’ve been worked into a new movie, or a reboot. In this regard, I’m okay with new actors taking on the iconic role as the Crow’s very nature allows legacy characters, and I can understand the studio wanting to try and emulate the look, feel, and narrative of the first film, and there’s even some interesting new wrinkles in the lore and concept of The Crow: City of Angels, but the final product and overall execution is lacking in almost every regard beyond the soundtrack and the general moodiness of the film. The first and biggest problem is the lead himself; while I had the faintest idea of who Brandon Lee was prior to The Crow thanks to a vague familiarity (at the time) with the legendary Bruce Lee, I have no idea who Vincent Pérez is and, frankly, still don’t. I have no idea why he, of all people, was cast in such an iconic role; it’d be hard for any actor to fill Lee’s shoes, especially after the tragedy he suffered during filming, but Pérez is incapable of matching Lee’s tortured, charismatic performance and comes across as a pale imitation in his attempts to channel the same mixture of grief, anger, and morose conviction of his predecessor.

Reborn from a violent death, Ashe embarks on a mission of vengeance with a manic theatricality.

Ashe is quite a different character to Eric Draven; rather than being a loved-up rockstar, he’s a mechanic and a single father living in Los Angeles, here rendered as a bleak, gritty, crime-infested hellhole swamped with drugs and rampant violence thanks to the fanatical Judah Earl. Though there are few places free from Judah’s influence; Ashe lived a simple, quiet life near the pier with his beloved son, Danny, but the two were brutally tortured and executed by Judah’s maniacal followers, primarily Kali (Trang) and “Curve” (Pop), after accidentally witnessing them murdering another drug dealer. Some time later (in the first film it was a year; here, we don’t really know, but it can’t be that long as Ashe’s garage/home is largely untouched since his death), the mysterious and semi-supernatural crow brings Ashe back from his watery grave to seek vengeance but, whereas the crow guided Eric and assisted in his similar quest, Ashe is primarily aided by Sarah Mohr (Kirshner), who is all grown up from the last film and working as a melancholic tattoo artist. While Eric rose in a state of confusion, he became committed to his cause after the crow helped him relive his traumatic death; Ashe similarly reawakens confused and disorientated, but is overwhelmed by his situation, as related by Sarah, and reacts with denial and hostility before reluctantly accepting that he’s now an undead spirit of vengeance after being bombarded with memories. Sarah uses Danny’s paints to make Ashe into an imitation of her former friend (even his make-up is a poor facsimile of Eric’s, however, with the white barely visible in the film’s poor lighting and the black only going around his lips rather than covering them) and he throws on a bad-ass trench coat, hops on an equally bad-ass motorcycle, and heads into the misty and filth-ridden streets to track down his killers. Thanks to the crow, Ashe is led to “Spider Monkey” (Vincent Castellanos), where he showcases his dramatic flair, performing sleight of hand and card tricks while toying with his prey, while also exhibiting just how corny and bad Pérez’s acting and line delivery is. This becomes a common theme, with his weird screaming, cackling countenance, odd appropriation of the “One for sorrow” nursery rhyme to now include crows, and desperate attempts to appear menacing only serving to make him appear unhinged. Whereas Eric somewhat revelled in the virtual invincibility and superhuman abilities afforded to him, Ashe wallows in the constant cycle of pain and healing his body goes through when he’s hurt (which, to be fair, is somewhat similar to the comic book Eric) and fluctuates between being violently, maniacally unbalanced when facing his killers, and miserable and brooding when with Sarah or contemplating his newfound afterlife.

Though seeking revenge for his son’s death, this new Crow is tempted to stay behind with Sarah.

While this is reminiscent of his predecessor, Ashe comes off as far gloomier and sullener than Eric, and it’s not like he makes up for it with any decent fight scenes. The few he does have are brief, poorly shot, and completely one-sided in his favour until the end, and we’re even denied decent shoot outs this time around as Ashe largely forgoes firearms (except for when hunting Curve), though he does evoke the crow imagery by stuffing a paper crow into “Nemo’s” (Thomas Jane) mouth, forming Kali’s blood into a crow upon her death, and leaving Curve surrounded by a crow outline of petals. Naturally, Ashe isn’t just out to avenge his death, but is primarily driven to avenge the brutal murder of his son; this causes him the most pain, as Danny was just an innocent, wide-eyed kid (a stupid one, but an innocent one nonetheless) and reliving his murder causes grief and rage to wrack Ashe’s body and, in many ways, makes his plight far worse than Eric’s but this tragedy really belongs in a better movie (or in the hands of a better actor). He goes out of his way to retrieve Danny’s corpse and give him a proper burial and is even visited by Danny’s spirt when he starts to lose his way. This wrinkle is added because, for whatever reason, Ashe develops a strong attraction to Sarah; surprising, as the two have very little chemistry and, while she seems fascinated to see another reborn by the crow and is sympathetic to him, I never got any romantic feelings from her. A snappy, somewhat feisty goth girl who partially narrates the film and has a familial bond with her boss, Noah (Ian Dury), Sarah’s influence over Ashe becomes so strong that he considers staying behind with her. This is juxtaposed by the Day of the Dead festival that’s being celebrated in the city, and through a conversation with a priest (Reynaldo Duran), who tells Ashe that wandering souls can get lost, believing themselves to be alive, and need guidance to achieve eternal rest. Honestly, the idea of a Crow wandering the Earth with no memory of how or why they got there is a fascinating one, and one I believe was strongly emphasised in the original cut of the film, where Ashe decides to stay behind rather than join his son, and Sarah, in death.

Some terrible performances stunt whatever menace Judah and his followers are meant to have.

Of course, this plot is barely notable in the finished film and is used more as motivation to keep Ashe fighting and help him overcome the loss of his powers, courtesy of Judah Earl. I hate to keep making comparisons, but Judah Earl is no Top Dollar (Michael Wincott); he exudes a decent menace and is a reprehensible and zealous figure in his own right, but Richard Brooks’ performance is all over the place as well, ranging from stoic and gravelly to over the top theatre as he proudly proclaims: “I’m your shadow, Ashe! […] I’ve tasted the blood of the crow and taken your power!” Like Top Dollar, Judah Earl is surrounded by a gaggle of cackling, shit-kicking underlings, none of which have any of the personality (however one-note and despicable) of Top Dollar’s and most of whom are constantly out of their minds on Judah’s tainted crack to be little ore than a knock-off combination of Skank (Angel David) and Funboy (Michael Massee). The most notable exceptions, beyond Nemo’s eccentricities, are Kali and Curve. Kali is a sadistic bitch who takes great pleasure in mocking and killing Danny; she also exhibits some martial arts prowess, giving Ashe his first real physical competition, and is one of three characters who I actually enjoyed seeing offed due to her aggravating nature. The other was Curve, played with manic abandon by rock icon Iggy Pop; I’m no fan of Iggy Pop’s music, or his acting, however, and Curve comes across as completely off his rocker, constantly raging about a tattoo Sarah gave him and assaulting the senses with his weird line delivery and atrocious acting (his “Do you think I’m afrai-i-id?” spiel is probably the worst performance I’ve ever seen). While Top Dollar seemed to have his hands in everything and was more about anarchy, Judah’s deal is drugs; he swamps the city with the stuff and has little concern over how badly his merchandise affects people. Once a product of the streets, Judah has taken to spending his time in his penthouse surrounded by the macabre and supernatural, and conveniently has a blind seer on hand Sybil (Tracey Ellis) to fill him (and us) in on the nature of the crow and how harming or killing it can hurt Ashe and render him mortal. Judah Earl takes this one step further, however, and drinks the crow’s blood to become “The Shadow”, a dark version of Ashe who gains all of his supernatural abilities for their final climatic showdown in the streets.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s so interesting and weird to think about the Crow franchise; the premise is incredibly simple and shouldn’t really be that hard to make a gritty, gothic, somewhat low budget film that’s a mixture of action, horror, and romance. It turns out, however, that The Crow was lightning in a bottle; not only did everything about its presentation work exceptionally well, but its reputation was bolstered by Brandon Lee’s tragic death, which has elevated the film above whatever shortcomings it might have to make it a monument to a young actor cut down in his prime. In that regard, you could argue that it didn’t make sense to follow it up, especially so soon after, but to do so with this knock-off, poor quality effort is a real insult to both Lee and O’Barr and comes across as a poor man’s attempt to recapture the magic. While the soundtrack is still pretty strong thanks to Graeme Revell’s haunting score (even if it is basically the same as last time) and some notable names, like White Zombie and Deftones, contributing to the film, the quality of acting takes a dramatic nosedive. Rather than a strong assortment of character actors and charismatic performers, The Crow: City of Angels features a bunch of one-dimensional, underdeveloped scumbags or aggravating performances from people who never should’ve been cast in the first place or actors who had yet to really hit their stride in their art.

Whatever visual appeal this film may have is lost beneath a muddy filter and poor special effects.

Easily the worst aspect of The Crow: City of Angels, though, is the presentation; this was legitimately the first film I’ve ever watched where I’ve criticised the direction and cinematography, and the look and feel of this film is a far cry from the harsh, rugged streets seen in the first film, which was almost a noir thriller in its aesthetic. The sequel swamps every scene in this grimy, mustard-yellow glare; mist and smoke covers everything, making the city appear to be either a poorly-constructed miniature or obscuring sets and real-world locations, and everything looks cheap and rushed, as though the filmmakers were trying to cover their inadequacies with this ugly, choking fog. Honestly, it looks like a homemade movie filmed on a soundstage or in a back garden, it’s that bad and, while the city occasionally seems like one of the worst places you can ever imagine, with its seedy underworld, sex clubs, and bars and such, everything just seems more fake and staged compared to the first movie, and this carries through to the action scenes. Sure, Ashe looks awesome cutting through the fog on his motorcycle, but he gets none of the rooftop-running action of Eric and doesn’t really acquit himself well in fight scenes. More often than not, Ashe simply slaps around and scuffles with his victim rather than threatening them with Poe or mutilating his body to intimidate his opponents, and the only physical challenge he’s presented with comes from Kali, whom he easily dashes out a window thanks to his invulnerability. Otherwise, Ashe’s mission of vengeance is an absolute mess of murky visuals, jerky camera moments, and awful acting; Pérez desperately tries to come off as intimidating when confronting Spider-Monkey but it’s a poor effort made worse by some dodgy CGI effects, and seeing him mock Nemo with a pouting countenance is more disturbing than menacing. Even Ashe’s big fight scene with Kali is ultimately disappointing, being a plodding affair with slow, awkward movements, erratic editing, and some weird contorted body language from Pérez, and his rundown of Curve ends up being a pitiable chase and confrontation thanks to such memorable lines as “Fuck you, bird dick!” and the down-right ugly visual presentation of the film.

Although rendered powerless and unable to save Sarah, Ashe is…somehow…able to destroy Judah Earl.

Fittingly, Ashe’s greatest physical challenge comes in the film’s conclusion; desiring to take the Crow’s power for his own, Judah Earl takes Sarah hostage and, after capturing the crow with a ridiculous amount of ease, has her witness a bizarre ritual where he kills the bird, inflicting Ashe with stigmata for a very on the nose Christ allusion and causing him to plummet from Judah’s high-rise dwelling and be rendered vulnerable. This fulfils Judah’s life-long fascination with death; his stoic demeanour and callous nature isn’t just to try and paint him as a malicious threat, but is because he’s completely numb to the concept of death since he has already experienced, and survived it, before. Having “liked what he saw” in his brief time in Hell, the only pleasure Judah has been able to take since is in the suffering of others, and the power of the crow allows him to indulge this to the fullest extent…however, while much of this is inferred and implied throughout the film, it really only becomes explicit when you know that, apparently, the original script went into greater detail about Judah’s near-death experience as a child. Regardless, thus empowered, Judah (or “The Shadow”, or whatever-the-fuck he’s supposed to be) easily manhandles Ashe, who’s completely helpless against Judah’s superior strength. The cruel zealot takes a sadistic pleasure in stringing Ashe up and lashing him before a raucous crowd but, when he goes to finish him off, Sarah intervenes and takes a knife to the stomach (without him even trying), dying in Ashe’s arms. Spurred on by Danny, who eagerly awaits his return, and enraged at Sarah’s death, Ashe skewers Judah on a piece of scaffold and…somehow…calls up a murder of (presumably) supernatural crows to tear the cruel kingpin into a mess of dodgy CGI. Again, quite how Ashe does this considering he has no powers at this point isn’t explained, nor is it really made clear exactly what the hell’s happening; it’s just another of the many drawbacks to huge chunks of the story being excised from the film, and this is only further reinforced in the rushed and vague ending, which suggests Ashe actually did stay behind rather than what the film is actually going for (which is that he rode off into the fog to be with Danny and, most likely, Sarah).

The Summary:
What happened to Brandon Lee on the set of The Crow was a tragedy. What happened to James O’Barr as a hopeful teenager was a tragedy. The Crow: City of Angels is a tragedy. The whole film is just an ugly, distorted, incoherent mess from start to finish; oh sure, there’s flashes of a somewhat decent sequel here, but everything that’s good about it is based on what worked in the first film and is a mere copy (a shadow, if you will) of it. Rather than taking the formula of its predecessor and expanding upon it, offering more action and bloodshed and more visually interesting fights and kills, The Crow: City of Angels ends up looking like a direct-to-video rush job that completely squanders not only its own premise, but everything that the first movie did so well. The idea of a father returning to enact revenge on those that killed his son is palpable, as is the concept of a crow avatar falling in love with a living female and resisting returning to the grave; hell, even the idea of a sadistic thug stealing the powers of the crow has some merit, but the execution of all of these ideas is ruined by muddy visuals, piss-poor performances, and an absolutely butchered narrative pacing. There’s some cool visuals of the Crow on his motorcycle and dramatically stalking and toying his prey or brooding in the dark, but Vincent Pérez is absolutely terrible here; he does the more melancholic aspects quite well, but his madcap buffoonery, grating accent, and stilted line delivery leave him a charisma-less void, especially compared to his predecessor. Iggy Pop desperately tries to hog every scene but he’s in way over his head here, and I doubt a better script or direction could’ve helped his tone-deaf performance, and Richard Brooks fails to exude any type of menace, even when he’s trying his hardest, thanks to his random descents into mania. Overall, it’s baffling to me that the studio managed to butcher a sequel to The Crow so badly; when its aping the first film, there’s some appeal here, but no one in their right mind would ever choose to watch this over the first movie and it does nothing but leech off of The Crow’s cult appeal in the laziest and most insulting ways possible, leaving us with a patchwork imitation of its predecessor that deserves nothing but scorn and derision.

My Rating:

Rating: 1 out of 5.

Terrible

Am I being too harsh on The Crow: City of Angels? Do you think the film had any chance of living up to the popularity and reputation of its predecessor? What did you think to Vincent Pérez’s performance and Ashe as the new Crow? Did you buy his romance with Sarah, or enjoy his flair for the theatrical? What did you think to Judah Earl and his crew? Did you enjoy the murky, foggy presentation of the film or was it also a struggle to endure? Which of The Crow’s sequels was your favourite, if any, and would you like to see the character return in some form or another in the future? How are you celebrating Devil’s Night tonight? Whatever you think about The Crow: City of Angels, join the discussion below or leave a comment on my social media.

Movie Night: The Cabin in the Woods

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 13 April 2012
Director: Drew Goddard
Distributor: Lionsgate
Budget: $30 million
Stars: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, and Bradley Whitford

The Plot:
Five college students retreat to a remote forest cabin for a well-deserved break and find themselves stalked by a family of backwoods zombies. However, all is not as it seems as the group find themselves manipulated by technicians in an underground facility who are attempting to appease ancient, slumber deities with human sacrifices.

The Background:
The Cabin in the Woods was the result of an intense two-day writing session between noted filmmaker Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, who had previously worked together on Whedon’s television projects. The film came from Whedon’s desire to revitalise the horror genre with a love letter to all of horror’s most enduring clichés. While much of the movie was shot in Vancouver, the film necessitated a great deal of designs and hands to bring to life the many and varied monsters and special effects for the film’s finale; these were handled by AFX Studios, who had nearly a thousand people turning in hundreds of creature designs for the film’s climax. When the initial studio suffered financial difficulties, the film was delayed until Lionsgate stepped in to save it, and it eventually released to positive reviews and came to be regarded as an instant cult classic despite barely clearing $66 million at the box office.

The Review:
If there’s one overused cliché in horror, it’s got to be the “cabin in the woods” formula of a bunch of twenty-somethings teenagers heading out into some desolate woods in the middle of nowhere to stay in a rotting cabin and be terrorised by zombies or ghosts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of the Evil Dead franchise (Various, 1981 to present) and the concept has birthed some great horror films, but I always found the cliché to be really odd. Maybe it’s a “me” thing; I grew up in a village here in the UK and prefer my holidays or breaks to be somewhere hot, like the beach, or to at least be near to a city or civilisation. Buggering off to a shitty cabin with no real mod-cons seems like one of the worst getaways I can imagine, so I always find it odd how characters in these films are so gung-ho about going there. It must be a “thing” when you live in a massive city like those in the US; you just wanna reconnect with nature and get drunk without the cops kicking your door in. All this is to say that, on paper, The Cabin in the Woods sets itself up as being little more than a continuation of this tried-and-tested cliché; indeed, that ends up being the entire point and our main characters are even forced to assume traditional stock horror roles like “The Virgin” and “The Athlete” thanks to the machinations of those controlling the horrors in and around the cabin.

The Facility staff are desensitised to the violence and moral implications of their job.

Of course, this is all part of a carefully constructed scenario orchestrated by the mysterious “Facility” located on the grounds near the cabin. All throughout the film, the story cuts to technicians Gary Sitterson (Jenkins) and Steve Hadley (Whitford), two long-term employees of the Facility who have been manipulating youngsters and sacrificing them to appease the slumbering, malevolent  “Ancient Ones” so often that they’ve become completely desensitised to the lives that are frequently lost in their bizarre ritual. This is true of all employees of the Facility, save for newcomer Daniel Truman (Brian J. White), a security officer who is not only stunned by how routinely the technicians go about manipulating and killing their victims but disgusted to find they place bets on the monsters the kids unwittingly conjure to pursue them and who dies first, though technician Wendy Lin (Amy Acker) explains it’s their way of “letting off steam” to cope with the horror of their everyday lives. Presumably a government-sanctioned operation, the Facility is just one of many all over the world; the US branch has the second-best track record of success, while the Japanese is the most efficient at appeasing the Ancient Ones, though it’s suggested on numerous occasions that the rituals often fail and come down the US and Japanese branches, hinting that this isn’t exactly a fool proof or even competent system. This is only further reinforced by numerous barely noticed and easily ignored missteps throughout the film; the likes of Sitterson and Hadley have become so complacent and numbed to the routine of it all that they don’t treat serious flags like a failure to communicate changes or electrical glitches or the ineffectiveness of their drugs as an issue until its too late. Indeed, the Facility noticeably shakes numerous times to indicate the Ancient Ones’ displeasure but this is mistaken as them being satisfied by the kills, with Sitterson and Hadley and the others often prematurely celebrating the sacrifice of their victims without confirming an actual kill since they’re more concerned with perving on the girls, making fun of their “Harbinger”, Mordecai (Tim de Zarn), and hastily celebrating their victory with tequila.

Our heroes are forced into roles that don’t fit them thanks to the Facility’s influence.

Our group of unsuspecting victims are four college friends, with Dana Polk (Connolly) being our main protagonist and ultimate “Final Girl”. Although she’s pigeon-holed by the Facility as “The Virgin”, Dana’s actually more suited to the “Whore” role that they force upon her friend, Jules Louden (Hutchison), since Dana just got out of an illicit affair with a college professor, walks around in her undies, and is more than willing to partake of alcohol and pot. Jules, a pre-medical student who has recently unwittingly dyed her hair blonde using the Facility’s products to make her more promiscuous, is the girlfriend of sociology major Curt Vaughan (Hemsworth), a well-read and responsible young man who also happens to be on the college football team, so he’s designed “The Athlete” by the Facility despite his friend, Holden McCrea (Williams), being more suitable since he’s much more about the game. A newcomer to the group, Holden is manipulated into taking on more scholarly attributes to fit the Facility’s tropes but is there in the hopes that he and Dana will connect so she can move on. While there’s an obvious attraction (both can’t resist the temptation to make use of the two-way mirror between their rooms) and they become closer as the film (and the horrors) progress, Dana is still dealing with the abrupt end of her affair and there’s a third wheel in their would-be romance. Namely, Marty Mikalski (Kranz), a pot-head and conspiracy theorist who spouts observational philosophy that sounds ridiculous but actually makes him the first to notice that something isn’t quite right at the cabin. He’s probably the most amusing and memorable of the group since he’s not just baked out of his mind; he stands up for Jules when gas attendant Mordecai insults her and questions Facility-influenced decisions that split the group up or having them poking around with things they should leave well alone.

Of all the monsters, the victims unwittingly summon a family of undead rednecks.

Thanks to the Facility’s influence, our protagonists are easily re-routed from their intended destination by the organisation’s agents, such as Mordecai (who takes his job as the local doomsayer a little too seriously), and unable to escape thanks to both a rockfall sealing the only exit and a massive, semi-translucent electrical barrier trapping them in the area. The cabin (and, indeed, the entire grounds) is full of surveillance devices that allow the Facility to monitor their every move and manipulate them more effectively; pheromones, drugs, and other intoxicating influences subtly alter their personalities into their intended roles, increase their libido, and hinder their rational thinking (with Marty proving somewhat immune to this thanks to his special batch of pot). This pushes them to investigate the cabin basement, which is a treasure trove of bizarre objects and cursed memorabilia, each of which is tied to a specific monster held in an elaborate series of holding cells within the Facility. Where these monsters came from or how they were ensnared by the Facility is left intentionally vague (they’re said to be remnants of the “Old World” and the things that inspired our nightmares), but they’re evoked through such staples as medallions, musical boxes, obscure puzzles, and mirrors. However, it’s the diary of Anna Patience Buckner (Jodelle Ferland) that wins out; when Dana reads the diary aloud (encouraged by all except Marty), the zombified Patience and her family (Mathew (Dan Payne) and Father Buckner (Dan Shea)) rise from the grounds and attack the protagonists with trowels and hatchets. With a 100% clearance rate, the Buckners also represent the Facility’s last hope at appeasing the Ancient Ones when all their sister facilities meet with failure, even the much-lauded Japanese site.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The Cabin in the Woods is an extremely clever and interesting spin on the horror genre; laced with metatextual context and humour, the film is as much a commentary on the genre as it is a subversion and love letter to the tropes associated with it. Sitterson and Hadley stress that, while they may rig the “game”, the victims ultimately choose their own destiny: they could ignore Mordecai’s warnings, but they continue on; they don’t have to go down to the cellar, but are compelled to do so; and they have no idea that they’ll be conjuring a monster until it’s too late because free will is all part of the “system”. Similarly, the Ancient Ones are cleverly positioned as an allegory for film audiences and horror fans, who constantly want more of the same and expect clichés like drunken, horny teens swimming in the lake or getting it on in misty woods in the dead of night. Thanks to the Facility, Curt starts acting like a jock alpha male, Holden starts wearing nerdy glasses, and Jules becomes a promiscuous slut; Marty’s warnings go unheeded since he’s off his nut and they all end up to out of it to properly defend themselves, much to the delight of the Facility staff, who watch with gaping mouths as the group first becomes hornier and then suffers at the hands of the Buckners, though this redneck zombie torture family proves to be far less effectual than they would like.

The Facility’s monsters go on a blood-soaked rampage after being let loose!

As undead killers, the Buckners are unrelenting, zombie-like monsters; armed when jagged, rusty saws and hatchets, they attack Curt and Jules, beheading the latter and offering the first humble blood sacrifice to the Ancient Ones. The true intentions of the cabin and the Facility are hinted throughout from the early going; not only is imagery of ritualistic killings prevalent in the opening credits, but the cabin itself is filled with macabre pictures and stuffed animals representing hunting and sacrifice. There’s a lot to spot on the monitors in the Facility as other subjects are met with failure around the world, with the most prominent being the Japanese school girls imprison an onryō (Naomi Dane) in a frog, but the true extent of the monsters on show is delivered in spectacularly bloody fashion during the finale after Dana hits a convenient big red button that unleashes all the monsters so they can run rampant throughout the Facility. There’s so much to see here that you’ll probably spot something new on each watch: there’s giant snakes and bats and other insects, reptiles and animals; a killer clown (Terry Notary), a stoic hell monster with buzz saws imbedded in its face (Greg Zach), a family of masked psychopaths, rabid dogs, vampires, witches, werewolves, mutants, eldritch abominations, and even a unicorn! Many of these are based on popular horror movie monsters and all of them are extremely aggressive and tear the Facility’s staff apart without mercy. While all the staff bet on which monsters they want to see appear, Hadley is obsessed with having a merman (Richard Cetrone) take the win, only to suffer an extremely ironic and violent death when a merman waddles over and devours him, spewing his blood from the blow-hole like vent on its back!

With the rituals having all failed, the Ancient Ones rise to destroy the world.

This mass purging of the monsters comes after Dana and Marty avoid the Buckners, despite appearing to die on more than one occasion, thus unintentionally convincing the Facility that they’ve succeeded. After repeated failed escape attempts result in the spectacularly abrupt and explosive death of Curt (who arrogantly tries to jump a ravine on his motorcycle and collides with the forcefield as a result) and Holden is skewered through the throat, Dana and Morty stumble upon the Facility and realise they’ve been manipulate the entire time. Although they take their revenge by unleashing the monsters, they’re ultimately confronted by the Director (Sigourney Weaver), who explains the whole purpose behind the ritual sacrifice and demands that Dana kill Marty to spare the world the apocalypse the Ancient Ones’ awakening would bring. It’s easily one of the best gags in the film that the victory over the monsters is actually a bad thing as it brings humanity one step closer to oblivion so, while you’re rooting for these characters to survive (as per the “system”), it’s actually better if they fail so that the Ancient Ones will be appeased. Ultimately, while Dana seems to contemplate compliance, she is injured by a werewolf (Richard Cetrone) before she can go through with it; after the Director is killed by Patience, the two friends reconcile and decide that humanity isn’t worth saving after all. At the start of the film, Marty haphazardly shares his belief that society deserves to crumble in order to escape the control, pressure, and influence of outside sources; this is revisited in the end, when he and Dana are the last ones left alive and have no way of stopping the inevitable apocalypse, so they simply share a joint and watch as it happens.

The Summary:
At first glance, The Cabin in the Woods is every cursed cabin, zombie horror film you’ve ever seen; the characters fall into their intended roles simply enough and it’s not long before the drinks are flowing, tongue spit is being exchanged, and blood is splattering everywhere as the kids are whittled down and attacked in classic slasher fashion. However, it’s actually one of the cleverest subversions and deconstructions of the genre I’ve ever seen; similar to parody movies and self-aware, meta-heavy horror films like the Scream franchise (Various, 1996 to present), the film offers wry commentary on the clichés of horror, the expectations of those watching, and suggests that all horror is purposely manufactured to appease the masses (which, of course, it is). Featuring some fun performances and some really impressive practical effects, The Cabin in the Woods is bolstered by the sharp dialogue and gags and the absolute bloodbath that features in the darkly bleak ending. It’s easily one of the most unique and entertaining twists on the genre I’ve ever seen; I love the idea that our darkest imaginations and fictional nightmares are born from these eldritch horrors and how it expands upon the concept of rooting for the killer so prevalent slasher films so there’s a mixture of relief and resentment towards Dana and Marty for surviving. Above all else, the film is worth a watch for the blood-soaked finale and the absolutely pitch-black final shot, which offers the briefest glimpse of the Ancient Ones and the end of all humanity. Fans of horror will be well placated with all the allusions, references, and gore on offer here but I think this one’s worth a watch from even casual horror fans, and especially sceptics, for the way it analyses and subverts the genre.  

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Are you a fan of The Cabin in the Woods? Which of the main characters was your favourite and what did you think to the staff at the Facility? Which of the monsters would you have put your money on? Did you enjoy seeing the monsters let loose at the end? Which was your favourite and what did you think to the Buckners? Did you enjoy the self-aware horror and commentary in the film? Would you like to see some kind of follow-up exploring what happened after the Ancient Ones rose? You can leave your thoughts on The Cabin in the Woods in the comments below or comment on my social media, and be sure to check back for more horror content!

Movie Night: Man-Thing

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 30 April 2005
Director: Brett Leonard
Distributor: Sci-Fi Pictures
Budget: $5 million
Stars: Matthew Le Nevez, Rachael Taylor, Jack Thompson, Steve Bastoni, and Conan Stevens

The Plot:
New Sheriff Kyle Williams (Le Nevez) arrives in the sleepy town of Bywater, only to find the area subjected to a series of gruesome murders. As he investigates, Kyle uncovers a plot to pollute and desecrate the sacred swamp waters, and the presence of a horrific swamp creature (Stevens) looking to enact revenge!

The Background:
Due to the implementation of the Comics Code Authority (CCA) in 1954 following widespread public concern, comic book publishers like Marvel had to dance around nonsensical rules to avoid corrupting vulnerable child readers from such horrors as violence, supernatural threat, and sexual content. Consequently, publisher Martin Goodman cancelled the none-CCA-approved Savage Tales after just one issue, though it released long enough to introduce Doctor Theodore “Ted” Sallis/Man-Thing. A creation of writers Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Gerry Conway, and artist Gray Morrow (and entirely different from DC Comics’ Alec Holland/Swamp Thing), Man-Thing has had a not insignificant impact in Marvel since his debut but, it’s fair to say, is one of their more obscure monstrous characters so it was a little surprising to see him included in Marvel’s deal with Artisan Entertainment to produce at least fifteen adaptations of Marvel properties. Development of a Man-Thing movie can thus be traced back to 2000, where the project flip-flopped between a straight-to-video and a cinematic release before the then-recent success of superhero movies like Blade (Norrington, 1998), X-Men (Singer, 2000), and Spider-Man (Raimi, 2002) made a theatrical release more financially viable. Filming took place entirely in Sydney, Australia, which producer Avi Arad later blamed for the film’s failures as Marvel Studios were unable to properly micromanage and supervise the production to ensure a higher standard of quality. A low-budget production meant that the titular creature’s screen time was often rushed, causing the impressive practical effects and suit to become mired in sub-par CGI and, while the film had a very limited theatrical release, it eventually saw the light of day on the Sci-Fi Channel and home video. Consequently, Man-Thing made a paltry $1.1 million gross and was torn apart by scathing reviews that attacked everything but the special effects. Largely forgotten these days, the Man-Thing rights eventually reverted back to Marvel Studios and, after a few subtle allusions to the character, the Man-Thing officially joined the MCU in the Werewolf by Night special (Giacchino, 2022).

The Review:
If I’m being completely honest, I barely had any knowledge of the Man-Thing prior to this movie; I think he cropped up in an issue of Howard the Duck or a Hulk comic I once read as a kid, but it could’ve just as easily been someone like Taboo or Joseph Timms/The Glob. I was slightly more familiar with his DC Comics counterpart, Swamp Thing, thanks to watching (and being unimpressed by) Wes Craven’s 1982 movie and hazy memories of his short-lived cartoon from the nineties but, suffice it to say, I was not some die-hard Man-Thing fan, and in the years since I first picked up this movie the most I’ve really experienced of the character is this movie and his debut story. Still, back when this film came out, I was intrigued by the footage I’d seen; being a big fan of monster and horror films and gory practical effects, I was well on board for experiencing a different kind of comic book movie at a time when the genre was properly moving into a “safe zone” of family-friendly action spectacle. All of this means that I had relatively low expectations, couldn’t really get worked up about any changes made to the source material, and was mildly satisfied upon my first viewing and, even now, I often chuck Man-Thing on if I’m in the mood for a gore-fest that’s not something more mainstream.

Kyle Williams is new in town and beset by local issues and a string of grisly murders.

That’s not to say that Man-Thing is very impressive, by any means; it has a definite made-for-television presentation in the camera work and the quality of the actors, with the cast made up of mostly Australian television and bit-part players, which is fine for this kind of B-movie but keeps it from living up to the standards (however low they may be) for similar films released around this time, like Doom (Bartkowiak, 2005) and Hatchet (Green, 2006), which were both B-movie horrors that were bolstered by a bigger budget, bigger stars, or from being throwbacks to the slasher genre of old. Nowhere is this more evident than in our lead character; a kind of Ben Browder knock-off, Matthew Le Nevez does what he can, but his fish-out-of-water character is nothing we haven’t seen a million times. Looking for a fresh start and a chance to prove himself in a position of authority, the new sheriff is flustered to find his hideously departed predecessor has left him only one deputy, Eric Fraser (Alex O’Loughlin), and that the town is torn between preserving the sacred swamplands of Dark Water and welcoming the profits brought in by industrialist Frederick Schist (Thompson). Still, while Fraser is amicable enough towards Kyle, there’s a degree of distrust and scepticism levelled towards him not just because he’s new in town but also because of his youth and perceived lack of experience, especially considering the many missing people and gruesome deaths in the small town. Though he’s very much a by-the-book sheriff, Kyle’s also quite fair and humble; he doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers and is eager to ensure total co-operation with his department, but is equally sympathetic towards schoolteacher Teri Elizabeth Richards’ (Taylor) attempts to oppose the desecration and pollution brought by Schist’s operation. The feisty and moralistic Teri immediately clashes with Kyle, kicking him to the dirt and winning herself a stay in the cells for her disruptive actions; however, Kyle admires her fighting spirit and soon turns to her for assistance with the swamp and the legends that permeate it. Naturally, as the two most attractive characters in the film, a mutual attraction sparks up between the two as they’re both captivated by their shared sense of moral justice and desire to do what’s right, and they find a common cause to rally against once the extent of Schist’s violent nature becomes apparent.

Local industrialist Schist has no problem killing or rolling over those who threaten his operation.

Kyle’s most pressing concern, however, isn’t local politics or superstition, but the number of violent deaths that have recently occurred in Bywater and around the Dark Water swamp. Initially, the most obvious suspect (at least, according to Schist) is Mestizo extremist Rene LaRoque (Bastoni), who has been sabotaging Schist’s facilities. Schist resents the backlash from locals and the Seminole community of Bywater since he legally appropriated all of his land from Ted Sallis, the Seminole shaman and chieftain, who then disappeared after stealing the money for himself. However, in truth, LaRoque helped broker the deal to improve things for the tribe, while Sallis was vehemently opposed to it and, in an effort to make up for his greed, LaRoque has been disrupting Schist’s operations ever since. Schist is a force to be reckoned with, however; firmly seeing himself as nothing more than an industrialist, Schist is protected by his wealth and influence and the fact that all the paperwork says he hasn’t broken any American laws. With no time for mysticism or mumbo-jumbo, Schist is concerned only with profit and expanding his empire but, while Kyle is smart enough to initially be respectful and amicable to Schist, it’s pretty clear that he’s a shady character not just through his boisterous and somewhat condescending nature but also in the startling similarity between his company logo and the Nazi swastika. Since he’s a prominent entrepreneur and wealthy businessman, Schist holds a lot of sway in Bywater; he can influence the hiring and firing of sheriffs, encourages Kyle to play the game and pursue LaRoque, and even orders people to be arrested for disturbing his building and oil digging. Naturally, he’s also an extremely ruthless and shady character; bolstered by his son, Jake (Pat Thompson), and local thugs Wayne (John Batchelor) and Rodney Thibadeaux (Ian Bliss), Schist has no problem ordering LaRoque’s death, aggressively leaning on those who get in his way, or getting his own hands dirty since he killed Sallis and photographer Mike Ploog (Robert Mammone) when they threatened his empire.

Ted Sallis is transforming into a monstrous creature that slaughters anyone who threatens its swamp.

At first, all evidence points to LaRoque being behind the sabotage and even the strange events in town, no matter how bizarre they may be; despite Teri’s insistence that LaRoque is innocent of murder, Kyle has no choice but the venture into the swamp to find him to get to the bottom of what’s going on. Of course, Schist’s operation has a far bigger threat, one that’s caused the murky swamps of Bywater to become a hazardous land and violently takes lives, such as Fraser’s, with an inhuman brutality. The region, which is seeped in mysticism and dark supernatural power, is regarded by Native Americans like Peter Horn (Rawiri Paratene) to be the “Nexus of All Realities”, a place where a malevolent spirit dwells that brutally attacks any trespassers, especially those who taint its lands. This is the force that transforms Sallis after his murder at Schist’s hands; while the locals have long believed in a swamp guardian, it’s only after Sallis’s corpse is buried in the Dark Water that this actually comes to life in the form of a hulking swamp creature the obsessive and eccentric Ploog haphazardly dubs the “Man-Thing, man!” While many scoff at such local superstitions, they still actively avoid the swamp because of how dangerous it can be, but Horn knows full well the extent of the dark magic that dwells within it. Horn explains that the angered creature seeks blood to atone for the blood spilled on its sacred land, and has determined that everyone will die, though this is a bit misleading as the creature seems satisfied once Schist’s pump is destroyed in the finale (raising the question why the Man-Thing didn’t just destroy the pump itself, especially considering it was formed right in front of it!) Although the creature shows no real signs of intelligence or humanity, appearing more a force of nature (or supernatural wrath) than anything, it’s driven to slaughter those who venture into its waters, especially any that try to desecrate its swamp. It does this through increasingly brutal means, such as tearing its victims apart, causing roots and foliage to burst from their bodies, or pumping him full of Schist’s polluting oil. Those who know fear have no chance of burning at this Man-Thing’s touch as its whipping tentacles and huge, claw-like hands are far more likely to leave its prey little more than bloody, swamp-covered remains. Even people like Plooq and LaRoque, who routinely visit and live in the swamp, and Sallis’s friends and fellow Seminole aren’t safe from the Man-Thing’s rage; the monstrous being rids its swamp of all interlopers and violatiors, friend or foe and, to make matters worse, is functionally immortal and impervious to harm, even to ancient rituals and sacrifices designed to appease its wrath.

The Nitty-Gritty:
While Man-Thing might be a decidedly low-budget (and low-brow) affair, I have to give it props for going all-in with its genre and its premise. It’s fascinating re-watching these licensed properties from before the Marvel Cinematic Universe found a winning formula in family-friendly productions that only touch upon horror or violent elements, and Man-Thing is far more a throwback to the violent, carefree slashers and monster movies of the eighties than anything else. This is evident right from the beginning thanks to a raucous sex scene out on a canoe in the wilds of the swamp that leaves busty Sarah (Imogen Bailey) a screaming, bloody mess and the frequent, barking use of curse words and dark, sticky blood effects. As you might expect, the swamp is very much a big part of Man-Thing; a dark, murky, overgrown mess of withered trees, vines, gloopy muck, and full of alligators and bugs, the swamp is unsightly and hazardous place. While Teri regards it with a great deal of affection, Horn is filled with a respect for its dark power, and Schist just wants to plunder its natural resources, Kyle is completely out of his depth when he ventures into those dark and muddy waters and the film does a decent job of presenting it as a very ominous and mysterious place. Personally, however, I have no love for swamp settings; they’re invariably murky and suffer from low lighting and green filters, all of which is true here, but you can’t really make Man-Thing without a swamp and, considering the time the film takes in building up to the Man-Thing’s first full appearance, the swamp makes for a visually unsettling compromise.

The impressive Man-Thing monster takes its brutal revenge.

Still, if there’s one thing Man-Thing has going for it, it’s the impressive and ambitious special effects. The Man-Thing itself is introduced slowly, building tension and anticipation towards its big reveal, which comes about an hour into the film’s runtime when it stalks and slaughters the Thibadeaux’s before ripping Fraser apart like an insect. Before that, we get an idea of how the creature came into being in flashbacks that resemble the grisly horror of Hellraiser (Barker, 1987) and we see the gruesome aftermath of its unique methods of killing, with Fraser left sickened by the awesome brutality (though both Kyle and coroner Val Mayerick (Brett Leonard) are surprisingly nonplussed by the mangled corpses, which have long been chalked up the alligator attacks). The creature itself is an incredibly impressive combination of a practical suit enhanced by CGI, which is the perfect blend when creating a movie monster, and it’s pretty clear that a big chunk of the budget (if not all of it) went to bringing Marvel’s monstrous swamp-man to life. A hulking beast dripping with vile vines and oozing menace, the Man-Thing easily manhandles and rips apart even the likes of Pete Horn after he tries to sacrifice himself to quell its rage, glaring at its prey with burning eyes and pursuing Kyle and Teri relentlessly for trespassing in its swamp. Determined to track down and kill LaRoque, who seeks to destroy his drilling tower in the Dark Water, Schist ventures into the swamp only to find Kyle and Teri being chased by the Man-Thing in their own attempts to get to LaRoque. Although Schist confesses to killing Sallis and wounds both LaRoque and Kyle, he ultimately meets his grisly end when the Man-Thing impales him with vine-like tentacles and pumps Schist’s own oil back into his body for a fitting and gory demise. Devoid of all humanity and fixated only on eliminating intruders, the Man-Thing turns on Kyle and Teri, forcing LaRoque to sacrifice himself by blowing up the drilling tower, taking himself and the Man-Thing with it. The blast doesn’t actually destroy the beast, however; it simply absorbs the flames and then, after seeing that Schist’s destructive influence has been driven from the Dark Water, it is reclaimed by the swampland to slumber once more until needed, allowing the injured and stunned Kyle and Teri to gingerly make their way back to what passes for civilisation in those parts.

The Summary:
For many, Man-Thing will be little more than a low-budget, made-for-television B-level monster movie that pales in comparison to other films in its genre, especially those it owes much of its horror and imagery to. For fans of the titular character, many may also be put off by how different the film is from the source material, which casts the Man-Thing as an uncompromising force of vengeful nature rather than a more sentient and complex character like I assume it is in the comics. For me, though, as a fan of gory monster movies of this type, there’s a lot to like about Man-Thing; the atmosphere, the sense of dread and horror building throughout the film thanks to the near constant darkness and the disgusting murkiness of the swamp really give the film a foreboding ambiance. Of course, the main selling point is the Man-Thing itself; kept in shadow and blending in with the trees and vines of the gloomy swamp, the creature is an extraordinary and terrifying mixture of CGI and practical effects and impresses every time its on screen, which isn’t often, and always makes an impact. Unfortunately, the acting and overall presentation is very cheap and befitting of its made-for-television status; you don’t really watch a film like this for the performances or any kind of nuance beyond one-dimensional villains, gratuitous sex and violence, and somewhat capable lead characters, and Man-Thing definitely doesn’t try to deliver anything beyond these clichés. Overall, I do feel it’s an under-rated and often forgotten Marvel film that can be fun at times, but I can see why this didn’t really make much of an impact, though I am interested in seeing how the MCU utilises the Man-Thing going forward.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Have you ever seen Man-Thing? Were you a fan of the film or did it leave you disappointed? What did you think to Schist and his plot to besmirch the sacred land, and the lead characters and their performances? Were you impressed by the Man-Thing’s special effects and brutal kills? If you’re a fan of the source material, what did you think to this adaptation? Whatever your thoughts on Man-Thing, leave them below and go check out my other horror content!