Author: Dr. K

Movie Night: Terrifier 2

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 6 October 2022
Director: Damien Leone
Distributor: Cinedigm / Iconic Events Releasing
Budget: $250,000
Stars: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Elliott Fullam, Sarah Voigt, Kailey Hyman, and Casey Hartnett

The Plot:
After being mysteriously resurrected, the demonic Art the Clown (Thornton) stalks grieving Sienna Shaw (LaVera) on Halloween night, unaware that Sienna may hold the key to stopping his senseless slaughter for good.

The Background:
The fear of clowns (also known as Coulrophobia) is a surprisingly common trope in both horror and everyday life thanks to fictional “Evil Clowns” like Stephen King’s Pennywise and twisted killers like John Wayne Gacy. Writer director Damien Leone tapped into this fear with his short film, The 9th Circle (2008), a which included a prototype of Art the Clown (Mike Giannelli). Despite his small role, Art proved popular enough for Leone to revisit the character in his subsequent films, Terrifier (2011) and All Hallows’ Eve (2013). Seeing Art as a chance to create a truly iconic slasher villain for a modern audiences. Terrifier made a modest profit and attracted largely positive reviews that praised David Howard Thornton’s performance as Art as much as the stunning gore. Dissatisfied with some elements of the film, Leone sought to craft a truly captivating and well-rounded protagonist for the sequel, while also expanding the scope of the franchise. Despite the discomfort of her Valkyrie costume, Lauren LaVera enjoyed her time on setand worked closely with Leone to give Art a heroic counterpart. With an increased budget thanks to a successful Indiegogo campaign, Leone worked around the COVID-19 pandemic to depict a prolonged and arduous murder scene that attracted much controversy. Despite some criticisms regarding the unnecessary brutality towards women and reports of audiences vomiting or fleeing screenings, Terrifier 2 was a critical and commercial success, with reviews praising LaVera’s nuanced and appealing protagonist as much as Thornton’s continued physical commitment to the killer clown. Sweeping the 2023 Fangoria Chainsaw Awards, Terrifier 2’s success more than justified another sequel in 2024 and unquestionably established that Leone had a franchise on his hands, for better or worse.

The Review:
Terrifier 2 picks up right where the first one ended. After terrorising Miles County, Art the Clown shot himself in the head to avoid arrest, leaving a sole survivor – the horribly mutilated Victoria Heyes (Samantha Scaffidi) – confined to a mental hospital after going mad from the experience. Despite his fatal injury, Art bursts to life and attacks coroner, Seth Bolton (Cory DuVal), slicing his throat, ripping his eye out to temporarily “replace” his own, and finally bashing his head in with a surgical mallet. Garbed in a blood-soaked clown outfit, Art retrieves his bin bag full of “toys” and heads to a laundromat to freshen up, silently giggling over the bad news in the local paper and being approached by a mysterious cherub dressed almost identically to him. This “Little Pale Girl” (Amelie McLain) appears to be an unidentified demonic spirit, one only Art or those close to him can see, and it’s implied she causes his otherwise inexplicable resurrection. The Little Pale Girl appears throughout Terrifier 2, often sporting glowing eyes and imitating voices, and is seemingly a spiritual guide to the murderous mime as she encourages and somewhat directs his actions. The film then jumps ahead to the following Halloween Eve, when the fallout from Art’s killing spree is still felt throughout Miles County. Jonathan Shaw (Fullam) is strangely obsessed with Art, who’s presumed dead but also missing, to the point where he wishes to dress up as Art for Halloween, a decision his overworked and short-tempered mother, Barbara (Voigt), vehemently shoots down. Jonathan’s macabre imagination and fascination with serial killers disturbs his older sister, Sienna, though her concerns fall on deaf ears since her mother is more concerned with work and expressing her grief by scolding her children for any right- or wrongdoings.

Alluring Sienna makes for a sympathetic, relatable, and well-rounded protagonist.

The Shaws are in turmoil following the death of their patriarch, a talented artist who once envisioned his daughter as a Valkyrie warrior before succumbing to an unnamed disease. While Sienna remembers her father fondly, spending months constructing an elaborate recreation of her father’s drawing to wear to a Halloween party and “feel close” to him, it’s heavily implied that her father underwent a dramatic character change as his disease worsened. He barely knew who he was by the end and is said to be abusive towards Sienna, which perhaps is what drove him to drown his sorrows and kill himself in a car wreck. Either way, the Shaws deal with their grief in different ways: Barbara focuses on work and has a short fuse, Jonathan veers down a more morbid path, and Sienna focuses on her costume project. Having already struggled with her mental health and still relying on pills to curb her anxiety attacks and nightmares, Sienna is barely holding together; all she has is her project and the ornate sword her father gifted to her. Well, that and her friends, Brooke (Hyman) and Allie (Hartnett), who treat her like an adopted sister. While the three are close, Sienna’s condition and trauma keeps a wedge between them. She’s easily triggered by talk of gore and Brooke later chastises her for being so uptight and doom-and-gloom all the time. Sienna’s life is made more difficult by Jonathan, who lands in hot water when visions of Art and the Little Pale Girl see him reprimanded at school, aggravating his already borderline abusive mother. Haunted by ominous dreams of Art and his “Clown Café”, Sienna’s mental state is often questioned, especially when her room spontaneously combusts, to the point where few share her concerns when she sees Art in the flesh. While the main protagonists victims of Terrifier were largely forgettable, Sienna is a far more well-rounded character. Vulnerable, beautiful, and creative, she’s determined to make an impression with her costume and goes to great lengths to try and keep Jonathan safe by the finale.

Sienna rightfully gets most of the screen time, though her friends and family do add to her plight.

After going through their father’s sketchbook, Jonathan surmises that he was aware of Art and depicted Sienna as angelic warrior to combat the evil clown. Her outfit echoes this, painting her as a Valkyrie and setting her up as a flawed and suffering representation of light versus Art’s twisted evil. Focusing on Sienna and her family strife was a fantastic idea; it removes some of the grimy “Grindhouse” atmosphere of the first film but gives us someone to sympathise with and root for. Unfortunately, Allie is just kind of…there…empathetic to Sienna’s troubles but struggling to fully relate to them. Brooke is much more outspoken and reckless, snorting coke with her boyfriend, Jeff (Charlie McElveen). Still, they exude more personality than their predecessors and we care about them by proxy since they’re close to Sienna rather than simply being throwaway victims. However, Elliott Fullam seems out of his depth, portraying Jonathan as a weird, obnoxious, conflicted brat who hyperventilates his way through most scenes and spends most of his time riling everyone up or wailing on the floor. It’s clear that he and Sienna have a bond, one that’s frayed since their father died, and they come together nicely in the end when Art kidnaps the boy to lure in his sister. To be fair, it’s no wonder Jonathan and even Sienna are messed up with a mother like Amanda. She can barely hold herself together to care for her kids and is far more likely to strike them than encourage or comfort them. Amanda’s inability to keep her cool sees her literally lose her head courtesy of Art, further scarring Jonathan when he finds the clown he’s been obsessed with stuffing mashed potatoes into the remains of his mother’s head! The Little Pale Girl callously uses Sienna’s family against her, imitating Jonathan’s voice and even assuming Amanda’s form just to trap and taunt the girl, and learning of their condition only serves to further agonise the already suffering Sienna, who’s literally put through hell in order to realise her father’s destiny for her.

Art gets a supernatural, demonic edge that makes him even more cruel and sadistic than before!

While Art was previously portrayed as a disturbing but nonetheless human figure, he’s now got one foot in the supernatural. Reborn not as a zombie or some undead spirit, Art retains the same twisted sense of humour and sadistic streak as before, but we spend more time with him between kills. We see him swiping supplies from Seth’s office, washing his clothes with mirth, constructing new weapons, and express visible disgust and frustration when his prey fights back. Art becomes fixated on Sienna, possibly because they seem to share a strange mental connection (Sienna often dreams about or has visions of Art, for example). When he finally gets his hands on Sienna, Art doesn’t rip her to pieces like his other victims; he brutally beats her and leaves her alive. Indeed, Art is far more elaborate with his kills this time, stalking and taunting them with his clown-like antics and then drawing out their deaths with a cruel malice. Art is functionally superhuman now, shrugging off gunshots, spiked implements to the head, and easily ripping off limbs and through chest cavities. He remains vulnerable, however, being slowed by weapons, bleeding, and being temporarily subdued by a sawn-off shotgun. However, he returns each time, spurred on by the Pale Little Girl, and eager for his victims to scream in agony. When Jonathan lays unconscious at his feet, for example, Art is visibly disappointed and resorts to chewing on the boy’s ankle to hear his screams. As his victims scream and bawl, Art gleefully mocks them, his silent laughter and crocodile tears mirroring the very real pain and suffering of his prey, who are forced to endure more agony than appears humanly and scientifically possible. We also get a few titbits about a possible backstory for Art: he holes up in an abandoned theme park, specifically the Terrifier fun house where it’s said the Pale Little Girl died some years prior, and it’s almost implied that he was somehow brought to life by Sienna’s father’s drawings. Naturally, Terrifier 2 doesn’t go into detail with this but the Pale Little Girl’s presence, Art’s seemingly supernatural edge, and the breadcrumbs offered by Sienna and Jonathan certainly go a long way to suggest that there’s more to Art than simply being a mute, killer clown.

The Nitty-Gritty:
The visual and narrative upgrade from Terrifier to Terrifier 2 is both impressive and very welcome. While the first was a grimy, shocking piece of splatter-gore, the second is a far “cleaner” and more mainstream horror offering. However, while its indie, Grindhouse-inspired roots may have been downgraded, Terrifier 2 remains a disturbing and twisted watch. The increased budget clearly allowed Damien Leone to utilise better camera, better lighting, more elaborate gore effects, and far more visually interesting locations. I liked the gritty, back alley setting of the first film, but it did become stagnant at times and very much felt like Terrifier was merely an appetiser for what Leone and Thornton are truly capable of. Terrifier 2 opts for a suburban setting for a disturbing amalgamation of the suburban horror of John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978) and the “Gallio” horror cinema. In Terrifier, the horror wasn’t so much the over-the-top gore but more the randomness of Art’s attacks; he seemingly picked victims at random and was unpredictable. That unpredictability is still present in Terrifier 2, only now locking yourself in your home isn’t enough. Art simply forces his way into Allie’s house, and the Shaw’s, brutalising his victims and cropping up in a laundromat and Halloween store without a care in the world. Art’s presence is unnerving even considering the spooky season since he acts so aloof; even him trying on goofy sunglasses and honking horns at Sienna is enough to rattle her. This is given a raw edge through Sienna’s visions and nightmares, where Art massacres a children’s television show as a figure of mirth warped into a violent psychopath. Just researching Art and seemingly being fascinated by his legend is enough to cause Jonathan to see the Little Pale Girl, though Terrifier 2 suggests there’s more to this and some mysterious link between the Shaws and Art since Barbara is incensed by the mere mention of him and Sienna is seemingly positioned as Art’s polar opposite.

Art gleefully subjects his victims to gruesome, brutal torture before tearing them to pieces!

Art is now obsessed with raking flesh and tends to target eyes, possibly because he’s missing one at the start. He pulls out Seth’s eye, stabs the Halloween store clerk (Johnath Davis) in the orbital area with a broken bottle, and slices a scalpel through Allie’s eye to start her torturous death. No one is spared Art’s wrath, even an exhausted laundromat patron (Thomas Smith) gets a broken mop jammed into his head just because he woke up! Art’s bag of tricks has been expanded; he carries corrosive acid that he tosses in Brooke’s face and a sawn-off shotgun to blow Amanda away. Art also brutalises the melting Brooke with a custom-made nail bat and other implements, used a tommy gun and blowtorch in Sienna’s dream, and even stabs Jeff in the dick and hacks it off to taunt Brooke! Art lashes Sienna and Jonathan with a barbed whip, slashes them with a scalpel, and hacks off the clerk’s head with a rusty hatchet! However, Allie takes the prize for the film’s most memorable and morbidly fascinating kill! When Art breaks into her house, he chases her to her bedroom and slashes her eye, then savagely descalps her with a pair of scissors before slicing into her back to expose her ribcage. He then wrenches off one arm, splits the other down the middle, and dumps bleach and acid over her as she whimpers, bleeding on the floor. Art then tears half her face off and mutilates her to the muscle and bone when Allie’s mother (Amy Russ) returns home. Despite being little more than a flayed corpse, Allie still has the strength to call for her mother, leaving the woman a screaming wreck as Art silent cackles away, Allie’s flesh still stuck in his teeth! It is, honestly, a painfully disturbing sequence of brutality that I just cannot turn away from. The sheer ruthless nature of Allie’s suffering trumps anything, even that kill, from the first movie and certainly suggests that Art exudes an aura that prolongs his victim’s suffering and empowers him, since he clearly gets off on their agony!

Although Sienna powers up and defeats Art, the demonic clown is reborn through his former victim…

After suffering a panic attack thanks to her condition and Brooke spiking her drink, Sienna heads home with Brooke and Jeff. However, Sienna forces them to redirect to the abandoned funfair when Jonathan calls for help. This is, however, a trap laid by Art and the Little Pale Girl. As Sienna searches for her brother, Art castrates Jeff in an attack that’ll make your eyes water and brutalises Brooke, ripping out and partially eating her heart. Although Sienna valiantly attacks Art, she gets cut up and beaten unconscious, though this is where Terrifier 2 loses much of its momentum as the final act descends into an extended chase and attack sequence where Sienna and Jonathan run around looking for each other. Art delights in cutting Jonathan with a scalpel, shrugs off having his own bat lodged in his skull, and maniacally whips both Shaw siblings, gouging their flesh and repeatedly throttling Sienna. Although Jonathan tries to help, Sienna ends up stabbed in the abdomen with her own sword and drops down a mysterious hole from which the screams of Art’s victims echo. Transported to the Clown Café, Sienna ultimately drowns in a glass chamber. While Art feasts on Jonathan’s ankles, Sienna hears his screams and is mysteriously resurrected by her father’s blade, which heals her stomach wound (though not her others) and allows her to claw out of whatever part of Hell spawned Art and the Little Pale Girl. Sienna attacks Art with the magical sword and fatally wounds him. Like the last film, Art offers no resistance to this; indeed, he not only joyfully offers his neck but also seems to nod in respect for Sienna’s strength. Full of righteous vengeance, Sienna hacks off Art’s head but is too traumatised and injured to stop the Little Pale Girl taking it. A mid-credits scene sees an agonised Victoria Heyes spewing vile liquids from her nether-regions. Drawn to the normally docile patient’s cries, Victoria’s nurse (Leah Voysey) finds she has written curses and a declaration of love to Art on the walls with her blood and faeces. Oh, and Victoria is also seemingly possessed by the Little Pale Girl, since she sports the same glowing eye…and chortles maniacally as she cradles Art’s newly born severed head!

The Summary:
Terrifier 2 certainly improves on many of the flaws and shortcomings of its predecessor. Not only is the scope widened, but the locations and effects greatly benefit from the additional budget, to say nothing of Rostislav Vaynshtok and Paul Wiley’s synth-style score. The greatest trump card Terrifier 2 has over the first film is in Sienna. Lauren LaVera captivates with a natural beauty, charismatic appeal, and sympathetic vulnerability. She may get the lion’s share of screen time and characterisation, but it greatly benefits the film and her friends, while less developed characters, still add to her plight. Terrifier 2 does a decent job of exploring how grief affects different people, from Amanda focusing on work and lashing out at her kids to Jonathan’s odd obsession with serial killers like Art. Sienna choses to focus on her artistic expression to remember the good times she had with her father and feel closer to him, honouring his memory with her attractive (but clearly uncomfortable) Valkyrie outfit. As a pure, almost angelic figure, she’s perfectly positioned as Art’s archenemy and opposite, being traumatised and insecure where he’s bold and colourful. While Art’s mystery is only deepened here, with supernatural and potentially demonic elements being weaved into his character and him showing a burning rage at times, he’s also more unhinged and brutal than ever! Terrifier 2 turns the dial up to twenty-one, never mind eleven (!), with its deranged and sadistic kills that border on torture porn. It’s shockingly gruesome seeing Art maim, hack, and assault his victims and the film certainly isn’t forgetting its Grindhouse roots in these long, uncomfortable sequences that will have you questioning your obsession with horror. While this is enough to satisfy me as a horror fan, and to rate Terrifier 2 as the superior compared to its sequel, everything about this film justifies this rating since its so much more polished compared to the original. Whereas Terrifier seemed like an expensive proof of concept, Terrifier 2 has an actual plot, a developed main character, and adds a touch more intrigue to its inhuman villain. It feels less like a random assortment of grimy, shocking gore and more like a more complete and nuanced movie. It’s still not for everyone, the third act drags a bit and squanders the momentum of the second half, and some may even be offended by its content, but Terrifier 2 was a far more enjoyable experience for me as a film and horror fan and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking to take a dive bomb into the more extreme end of the genre.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Do you think Terrifier 2 surpasses the original? What did you think to the additional supernatural elements given to Art? Were you also a fan of Sienna, her eye-catching outfit, and her position as Art’s reluctant opposite? What do you think is happening with the Little Pale Girl? Do you agree that the gore was far more brutal this time, or did you find it too unrealistic? Are you scared of clowns and, if so, why? Which of the Terrifier films is your favourite and how are you celebrating horror this month? Share your thoughts about Terrifier 2 in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror content!

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

Dr. K1 Comment

October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day” so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 19 December 1969
Director: Peter R. Hunt
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $7 million
Stars: George Lazenby, Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Gabriele Ferzetti/David de Keyser, and Ilse Steppat

The Plot:
While posing as a genealogist to uncover terrorist mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld’s (Savalas) mad plot to cause bacteriological warfare through brainwashed agents, British secret agent James Bond/007 (Lazenby) reluctantly romances and falls for the reckless Contessa Teresa “Tracy” di Vicenzo (Rigg).

The Background:
Created by former Navy intelligence officer Ian Fleming. MI6 super spy James Bond was famously brought to life by Sean Connery, beginning a long-running cinematic franchise. However, Connery’s decision to retire from the role sent producers Albert R. Broccoli and Harry Saltzman’s plans for the sixth 007 film out of whack as much as the ongoing rights issues regarding Blofeld and the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE). When their top choice to replace Connery, Roger Moore, became unavailable, the producers cast Australian model George Lazenby, who had little acting experience. Director Peter R. Hunt also chose to recast Blofeld with Telly Savalas, seeking a more physical presence for the villain, while Diana Rigg became the latest “Bond Girl” after producers were impressed with her work on The Avengers (1961 to 1969). Although the tabloids claimed Rigg despised Lazenby, the actor later quashed these rumours, though he did refuse to return as 007 out of fears of being typecast. Largely filmed in Switzerland, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service became as famous for its ski sequences as its tragic ending, which saw Hunt purposely wear Lazenby down to force the required emotion from him. Despite its $82 million box office being one of the highest of 1969, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service made considerably less than the previous Bond movies and critics loathed Lazenby’s portrayal and unfairly compared him to Connery. While this led to the producers desperately offering Connery an unprecedented deal to return in the following movie, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is now generally seen as an under-rated entry in the franchise, one praised for its visual beauty and stirring performances.

The Review:
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (OHMSS) features the one and only appearance of George Lazenby as the world-famous super spy. Amusingly, the film sets a tone for subsequent newcomers to the role by largely obscuring Lazenby’s features in the traditional pre-title sequence and slowly introducing his new interpretation of Bond. This is all done with a mixture of brutal action, intrigue, and tongue-in-cheek humour as Bond comments on his inability to get the girl. Once the titles are done, OHMSS apes Bond’s first appearance in these films by sitting him at a poker table and piling up the winnings with casual confidence. Once again, Bond runs into the alluring woman from the opening, whom he saved from an apparent suicide attempt, only to get the cold shoulder even after he bails her out from her poor card playing. Though she agrees to meet him in her hotel room, Bond is once again jumped from behind and gets into another fist fight. When Bond returns to his room and finds the woman, the stubborn Tracy, she denies any knowledge of his attackers and spends the night with him, only to disappear in the morning and for Bond to be coerced into a car. Thus, our introduction to this new Bond is somewhat inconsistent. On the one hand, he has the same look, penchant for cigarettes and fine dining, and card skills as his predecessor and is pretty good in a fight. On the other hand, he’s constantly being jumped at random, keeps getting the brush off from Tracy (who seems to resent his interference), and has no choice but to go along when he’s kidnapped as he’s powerless to do much else. Sure, Sean Connery was in similar positions, but I think it might’ve helped if the opening established Bond was following Tracy as part of his investigation into SPECTRE.

Newcomer Lazenby is as ill-suited to the role as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary.

Bond is taken to meet Tracy’s father, Marc-Ange Draco (Ferzetti/de Keyser), a charismatic mob boss who despairs of his wayward daughter and wishes Bond to “dominate her” to set her straight, even offering him £1 million if he woos and marries her. Though he’s attracted to Tracy, Bond rejects the offer, aghast at being tied down or compromising himself, but changes his mind when Draco agrees to offer information on the whereabouts of Blofeld, SPECTRE’s elusive mastermind. Thus, Bond sets to work cooling Tracy’s cold heart but is angered when he returns to London and his cantankerous superior, “M” (Bernard Lee), relieves him of the Blofeld mission. Although ready to quit in protest, Bond’s granted two weeks leave thanks to the intervention of Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell) and heads to Portugal for Draco’s birthday. There, Tracy is incensed to learn that her father is using her as a bartering tool and angrily forces Draco to give Bond the information so he won’t be obligated to waste time with her. However, this is merely a front for the feelings Tracy has developed for the suave secret agent and, having grown fond of her as well, Bond smooths things over and the two properly fall for one another. However, this romance takes a noticeable backseat when Draco points Bond to a law firm, which he swiftly breaks into to discover that Blofeld is posing as Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp and has established a restricted clinical allergy research institute in the Swiss Alps. Bringing his evidence to M, Bond is swiftly allowed to meet with and assume the identity of Sir Hilary Bray (George Baker), a genealogist who’s been asked to verify Blofeld’s ancestry. Adopting an exaggerated accent, ill-fitting clothes, and glasses, Bond is taken to Piz Gloria by Blofeld’s number two, the grim-faced but accommodating Irma Bunt (Ilse Steppat), and a curious game of cat-and-mouse begins.

Womanising Bond falls for headstrong Tracy, who loses her edge after having her heart melted by 007.

Unfortunately, this is where OHMSS really falls apart for me. It’s ludicrous to think that Blofeld wouldn’t immediately recognise Bond, whose disguise is somehow worse than the Japanese cosplay he adopted in the previous film, especially after they’ve already met. It’s pretty obvious that Blofeld is aware of the deception from the start and simply plays along to prove his superiority over Bond, or perhaps because he finds it amusing, genuinely believing he has a legitimate claim to being Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp since he has (presumably forged) documentation and has cut off his ear lobes to match the Bleuchamp bloodline. While Bond is as well versed in many subjects as ever, he spends some time with Sir Hillary to learn about genealogy and mimic his mannerisms, appearing to be a meek intellectual who, while exceedingly polite, has little interest in the beautiful women being treated for allergies at Piz Gloria. However, since his disguise is little more than a pipe and a kilt, Bond naturally catches the eye of the patients, who are incredibly horny. Thus, while Bunt enforces strict rules within the clinic, both Bond and the girls sneak out for a few bunk ups, though this seems to merely be a passing distraction for Bond. It also proves to be his undoing, as Bunt surprises him and Blofeld chastises his lustful ways since it was just one of many signs that “Sir Hillary” wasn’t who he claimed to be. Bond’s far more capable when it comes to escaping Blofeld’s compound, skiing to safety only to be relentlessly hounded in Lauterbrunnen. This is when Tracy finally returns, rescuing Bond, and he spontaneously decides he’s so in love with her that he wants to marry her and give up his violent lifestyle and womanising ways.

Blofeld and his operation have undergone a significant facelift but are still bent on chaos.

After finally being revealed as a scheming, disfigured criminal mastermind in the previous film, Blofeld has spent the last two years transforming into the fetching, silver-tongued director of a special clinic for those suffering from crippling allergies. Charismatic and sophisticated, Blofeld charms his patients and commends their progress and is so confident in his allure that he even tries to seduce Tracy after kidnapping her from an avalanche. To the outside world, Blofeld is a reclusive and private individual whose clinic is so restricted that unauthorised visitors are shot at and turned away on sight. Oddly, it seems Blofeld has the perfect setup at Piz Gloria but he draws undue attention to himself by claiming to be Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp, something which has little relevance to his true, mad plot. While Blofeld has successfully cured or aided his patients’ allergies using hypnosis, he’s also been brainwashing them into being his unsuspecting “Angels of Death”, charging them with unleashing a biological agent that will render all plant and animal life impotent. Blofeld’s endgame is to hold the world to ransom, threatening famine and extinction unless he’s given amnesty for his crimes and the title of Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp. While we don’t get to see this chemical agent in action, Blofeld provides a small sample to the United Nations and keeps Bond prisoner to verify his threat, confident that his demands will be met before a cure is inevitably found. So horrifying is Blofeld’s threat that the world’s governments agree to roll over, pointedly refusing Bond’s demands to launch a strike on Piz Gloria and cut Blofeld off from commanding his Angels of Death. Thus, Bond turns to his future father-in-law, Draco, who happily agrees to lead an assault on Piz Gloria to both rescue Tracy (though their haphazard gunfire says otherwise) and stop Blofeld’s mad scheme.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve always found OHMSS to be a particularly dull Bond movie, and Lazenby’s mediocre turn as the character is only part of it. The film lacks a punchy title song, preferring excerpts of Louis Armstrong’s “We Have All the Time in the World”, a fittingly smoochy and emotional tune that hits doubly hard during the tragic finale.  Additionally, Bond noticeably lacks any fun gadgets; “Q” (Desmond Llewelyn) is merely a cameo and the best we get is a massive safe picking machine, a deconstructed sniper rifle, and a bog-standard printer/copier. I am a fan of the romance angle, though, of Bond learning there’s more to life than random hook ups and his staunch commitment to Queen and Country. However, the execution is lacking. I liked that Tracy initially appeared forthright and almost dismissive of Bond, barely caring that he was getting roughed up or giving him the time of day. However, Draco is right when he notices that Tracy “likes [him]” but is hiding behind a stubborn façade as Tracy falls for Bond like any other woman. She even acknowledges that Bond is unlikely to return those feelings, and yet helps him Lauterbrunnen and is so delighted by his proposal that she cries tears of happiness every time he’s around. The shadow of Tracy’s former, headstrong self resurfaces when she’s held captive by Blofeld as she attempts to disarm him with her beauty and even puts up a decent fight against his men, but she loses so much of her edge so quickly that it’s hard to see why Bond falls for her as she simply becomes another pretty girl who’s besotted by him. I also rate OHMSS poorly because it’s such a slog, churning along at a snail’s pace and placing so much focus on Bond’s ridiculous infiltration of Piz Gloria that wouldn’t have fooled a blind man!

A beautiful, but largely dull movie best known for its snowy locations and ski-chase sequences.

Still, there are some positives to OHMSS. The film is very beautiful, with the snowy Swiss Alps providing a gorgeous backdrop for Blofeld’s compound. While his facility isn’t as memorable as a hollowed-out volcano launch base, it is very slick and futuristic, forcing Bond to find ways to escape his confinement and brainwashing the girls to follow Blofeld’s commands. Bond gets into a lot of scuffles in OHMSS, generally emerging unscathed after summarily drowning his foes, flinging them off the Swiss Alps or tumbling into a wood chipper, and constantly lashing out to catch his capturers off-guard. Naturally, most chases occur either in the snow or down the dangerous Swiss Alps, with the finest rear projection money selling the illusion that the actors are in the thick of it. All joking aside, the skiing sequences are really fun. It is bizarre that Blofeld’s henchman can’t hit their target when there’s no cover around, but then they are rocketing down a mountain at high speed so I’ll forgive it. Seeing them careen off the side is quite harrowing, and watching Blofeld set off an avalanche to bury his hated foe made for an exciting sequence (though it’s a little unbelievable that Bond survived). There are also a couple of car chases here, but the big action set piece comes when Bond and Draco assault Blofeld’s lair. Strangely, considering how fortified the compound appears, Blofeld has no anti-aircraft guns and is initially easily deceived by Draco’s claims to be on a mercy mission. His men are thus ill-equipped against a full-scale assault, easily being gunned down and blown over balconies when Bond attacks. OHMSS utilises some impressive miniatures to showcase Piz Gloria’s destruction, though there’s a painfully noticeable delay (even by Bond movie standards) between Draco’s wristwatch, the bomb timer, and Bond and Blofeld escaping the compound before it blows.

Blofeld spitefully returns to deliver a tragic blow to Bond in the shocking finale.

Having narrowly escaped, Blofeld stumbles down the mountainside with Bond in hot pursuit. Any sense of poise, composure, and authority is evaporated once Blofeld speeds off in a bobsleigh, desperately taking pot shots at Bond and comically fumbling with a grenade! Desperate to get his man, Bond doesn’t let a little thing like being blown from his bobsleigh slow him down and gets into a clumsy fist fight with the SPECTRE head that ends with Blofeld seemingly killed by a branch. Seemingly victorious, Bond makes good on his promise and marries Tracy before friends and family. Though obviously heartbroken, even Miss Moneypenny is pleased for Bond and the ceremony allows former enemies M and Draco to reminisce on previous encounters between their organisations. Elated to have found a woman worth settling down for, Bond and Tracy drive towards a seemingly happy future, already planning to build a family together. However, their overly decorated wedding car draws much attention and Bond realises that he never bought his wife a gift, or flowers, so he pulls over to strip the vehicle and share a sweet moment with Tracy. Unfortunately for him, Blofeld not only survived their anti-climatic battle but returns with a vengeance, barrelling towards them at high speed (comically sporting a neck brace) alongside Bunt. Bond barely has time to flinch before Bunt unloads with a machine gun but is determined to chase after the villain. However, Bond’s horrified to see that Tracy has been killed by a bullet to the forehead. As a passing motorist stops by, Bond cradles his dead wife, barely holding back tears, and briefly taking solace in denial before succumbing to a grief that would come to define much of his later characterisation.

The Summary:
I’ve never been a fan of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and have long held the belief that the film would’ve struggled to impress me even if Sean Connery or Roger Moore had been in the role. Connery being Bond would’ve made things simpler, for sure, but I doubt even his magnetic presence would help with the uneven tone, slow pacing, and more ridiculous elements. As I understand it, many consider George Lazenby to be an under-rated Bond actor, though I disagree. He barely has the look, certainly doesn’t have the acting chops or screen presence, and is as thoroughly unconvincing as Bond as Bond is at impersonating Sir Hillary. Lazenby’s flaws are only exacerbated whenever he shares the screen with the charismatic Draco, the stunning Tracy, or the captivating Blofeld. While it annoys me that Blofeld is no longer scarred or a devious psychopath, Telly Savalas oozes charm and commands the screen, easily overshadowing Bond and yet portraying Blofeld so differently that he may as well have been a different villain. I did like the concept behind Tracy and her romance with Bond, but it was a mistake to make this a glorified side-plot and for her to disappear for the middle portion of the film. It might’ve been better to have her infiltrate Blofeld’s compound under the guise of needing treatment, or for her to have attended Blofeld’s facility and need to be freed from his control…anything to get her involved in the second act and avoid the nonsense Sir Hillary aspect. Admittedly, it was amusing seeing Bond work his way through the Angels of Death, but also a shitty move considering he was supposed to be in love with Tracy. The skiing sequences and explosive finale were decent, but the bobsleigh chase was laughable and OHMSS greatly suffers from a lack of memorable gadgets. The only reason anyone remembers it is the tragic and dramatic ending, which shows Bond at his most vulnerable and hits like a blow to the gut. However, this isn’t enough to elevate OHMSS, which remains one of my least favourite Bond movies and a mere footnote in the character’s history, which is a shame considering how relevant its finale was to future interpretations of the character.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Do you think I’m being too harsh on On Her Majesty’s Secret Service or do you agree that it’s one of the weaker Bond movies? Are you a fan of George Lazenby or do you agree that he was miscast? What did you think to Telly Savalas’s less monstrous version of Blofeld? Were you left devastated by the ending? Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating James Bond this month? Whatever you think about On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, or James Bond in general, feel free to leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more 007 content for the site.

Back Issues [Brightest Day]: Green Lantern Vol 2 #7

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Although February 2014 was dubbed “Green Lantern Day” (because, by the American calendar, the date matched the sector of space assigned to Earth in DC Comics “2814”), the significance of this date has passed as the years have changed. Instead, I celebrate the October 1959 debut of perhaps the most popular Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, who first appeared.

Story Title: “The Day 100,000 People Vanished!”
Published: August 1961
Writer: John Broome
Artist: Gil Kane

The Background:
In July 1940, Martin Nodell and Bill Finger debuted Alan Scott, the first Green Lantern, a magically empowered railroad engineer who became a founding member of the Justice Society of America (JSA). However, following the successful reinvention of the Flash in 1956, fighter pilot Harold “Hal” Jordan became the first of a whole corps of Green Lanterns. Widely regarded as the greatest Green Lantern, Hal soon amassed a colourful domestic and intergalactic rogues’ gallery, though none are more prominent than Thaal Sinestro, Created by John Broome and Gil Kane and modelled after British actor David Niven, Sinestro was formally the most celebrated of the corps before it was revealed that he enforced peace through a dictatorship, disgracing him and positioning him as Hal’s mortal enemy since Hal exposed Sinestro’s true nature. A Machiavellian foe, Sinestro joined the villainous Legion of Doom and Injustice League, led his own yellow-hued counterpart to the Green Lantern Corps, and has regularly waged war against not just Hal, but both the Earth and the entire universe! As Hal’s greatest  villain, it should be no surprise that Sinestro has regularly appeared in cartoons and videogames, and was even brought to life by Mark Strong (with scenery-chewing relish) in the much maligned live-action adaptation. 

The Review:
Hal’s first encounter with the devilishly alluring villain who became his most recurring and dangerous foe begins on the West Coast of the United States, specifically the town of Valdale, where Green Lantern is scheduled to attend the opening ceremony of the new boys’ settlement house. Luckily for him, Hal’s too busy tying up another case so he’s unexpectedly delayed, meaning he’s absent when the bustling metropolis is suddenly enveloped in an ethereal light (not unlike an aurora borealis) and a strange thunderclap sound, which causes all 100,000 residents to disappear! After learning of this phenomenon, Green Lantern investigated and confirmed to his friend, mechanic, and confidant, Tom Kalmaku/Pieface, that Valdale’s inhabitants have vanished. Green Lantern’s doubly concerned as the incident occurred at nine o’clock, exactly when he was scheduled to be in Valdale but, before he can ponder further, Hal’s suddenly sent a bit queasy by a mind blank. It turns out this wasn’t just a bout of nausea and that Hal’s “astral self” was summoned across the galaxy to Oa, the home of the Green Lantern Corps and their enigmatic alien masters, the Guardians of the Universe. Brought before his masters, Green Lantern was told of Thaal Sinestro, the Green Lantern of sector 1417, a fearless native of Korugar who used the awesome, nigh-unlimited power of his power ring to satisfy his vanity with a throne. Sinestro had people line up and plead for his aid, quickly bored by their petty squabbles and requests and desiring more. When one of his people questioned him, chastising his arrogance and accusing Sinestro of being mad with power, Sinestro flew into a rage and shot down the complainant (non-fatally, it turns out).

Hal is dispatched to thwart a renegade Green Lantern’s plot to attack the Guardians.

Sinestro then decided to depose the ruling council of Korugar and establish himself as the planet’s dictator who forced his people to live peaceful lives or be mysteriously removed from society. Upon discovering Sinestro’s totalitarian ways, the Guardians admonished him and stripped him of his status as a Green Lantern before banishing him to the antimatter universe of Qward. However, the Guardians later learned that Sinestro rallied the malevolent “Weaponers” of Qward to strike back against his former masters and destroy Green Lantern. Thus, Sinestro developed a “viso-teleporter” to transport Green Lantern to Qward, and the Guardians instruct Hal to journey to the antimatter universe to confront the renegade Green Lantern and save those he’s captured. Since his usual route to the antimatter universe is blocked, Hal reasons that Sinestro will attempt to target him again so he uses himself as bait, turning the residents of Coast City invisible, and is soon forcibly transported to Qward. Although Green Lantern easily shields himself from the Weaponers’ attacks, Sinestro forces him to surrender in exchange for returning his captives home. Sinestro encases Hal in a yellow bubble, rendering him powerless, planning to destroy him once his power ring runs out of charge. Despite his ring being ineffective against yellow, Hal’…somehow…manipulates a clock to trick Sinestro into thinking time has passed faster than it actually has. Once he’s freed from his bubble, Green Lantern zaps Sinestro, washes away his allies, and pins Sinestro to a wall with green needles. Sinestro mocks Hal’s morals and lack of killer instinct and arrogantly reveals that he cannot be punished for his crimes since he’s been banished to Qward. However, Hal gets the last laugh by imprisoning Sinestro in an impenetrable bubble of green willpower before returning home to inspire Valdale’s youngsters with a speech about how good will always triumph over evil.

The Summary:
I’ve always liked Sinestro. I grew up in the 1990s, so I have a bit of a thing for dark doppelgängers of righteous heroes and Sinestro’s one of comic’s most memorable and visually interesting corrupt counterparts to a beloved hero. However, I haven’t read many stories that feature the character and many Green Lantern stories I’ve read either don’t feature him or take place during one of his many real or faked deaths. However, I definitely feel I’ve been spoilt by the likes of Emerald Dawn II (Giffen, et al, 1991), which went into far greater detail about Sinestro’s complex character and his unique relationship with Hal Jordan. Emerald Dawn II set a new standard for their dynamic, casting Sinestro as Hal’s mentor and the greatest of the Green Lantern Corps, only for it to be revealed that he wasn’t just a pompous, arrogant taskmaster with high standards but also a totalitarian dictator who enforced order with an iron fist. You can imagine my surprise, then, to find Sinestro’s first appearance was a twenty-page story based around a bizarre plot to teleport Hal into the antimatter universe. Now, I’m no expert on Qward or the Weaponers; it’s entirely possible Green Lantern had run-ins with them in the past, hence why they’d relish Sinestro’s aid. However, they are the most useless and ineffective people I’ve ever seen. Sinestro doesn’t even utilise their tech, instead creating his own devices, and they blindly follow the charismatic devil as he conjures a clock and boasts about how he’s going to destroy their enemy rather than just doing it. I’d be questioning Sinestro’s effectiveness the moment his viso-teleporter transported a bunch of randomers to my home world, to say nothing of asking why Sinestro doesn’t just pluck the power ring from Hal’s finger or suffocate him to death inside his yellow bubble.

Though visually and thematically interesting, Sinestro is little more than an inconvenience here.

On the plus side, a sizeable portion of the story is spent exploring Sinestro’s backstory, even if it is just the highlights. The idea of a celebrated and formidable Green Lantern falling from grace and abusing his power is a powerful one and perfectly places Sinestro as Hal’s polar opposite, especial as Hal is such a bland do-gooder during these days. He’s the unscrupulous bastion of “right” and “good”, eagerly obeying his masters and opposing Sinestro simply based on the Guardians’ warnings. Sinestro shows a glimpse of how dangerous a Green Lantern can be if they become obsessed with power, first constructing a “sumptuous headquarters”, then forcing people to beg for his help, and finally deposing the ruling government to become absolute authority on Korugar. It’s not stated how long Sinestro ruled his people, but he presumably would’ve continued enslaving his people had the Guardians not stopped by to check on him. His punishment is severe, but strangely humane, with the Guardians simply banishing Sinestro rather than executing him despite it being implied that he executed anyone who spoke out against his rule on Korugar. The Guardians also shoot themselves in the foot since, although they can teleport individuals to Qward and observe the antimatter universe, they “have no power there” and thus cannot intervene when Sinestro plots his revenge. Thanks to a one-way cosmic “back door” of sorts, Hal does return home but cannot truly punish Sinestro because Hal’s too righteous to take a life and Sinestro cannot leave Qward. Thus, Hal leaves Sinestro in what sounds like a fate worse than death but, to me, seems like a prison he’ll easily escape from, making for a pretty lacklustre ending. Everyone starts somewhere, that’s for sure, but Sinestro’s first appearance is an unfortunately forgettable, villain-of-the-month story that really should’ve been given the entire book to be told. Sinestro has a great look, with his devil-red skin, pencil-thin moustache, and striking black-and-blue colour scheme, and his backstory is certainly intriguing. However, it’s undercooked and basically a throwaway story that’s memorable only for introducing one of DC Comic’s best villains, whose future plots definitely extended further than clock-watching!

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Sinestro’s debut story? Do you think the Weaponers of Qward should’ve been portrayed as a greater threat? What did you think to Sinestro, his backstory and characterisation? Were you disappointed by how pedestrian Sinestro’s first appearance was? What are some of your favourite Sinestro stories and moments? Which Green Lanterns your favourite and why? How are you celebrating this pseudo-Green Lantern day today? Whatever you think about Sinestro, or Green Lantern in general, leave your thoughts below, drop me some change on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other Green Lantern content.

Movie Night: Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein

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Released: 4 November 1994
Director: Kenneth Branagh
Distributor: TriStar Pictures / Sony Pictures Releasing
Budget: $45 million
Stars: Kenneth Branagh, Robert De Niro, Helena Bonham Carter, Aidan Quinn, and Ian Holm

The Plot:
Obsessed with preventing death, eccentric scientist Victor Frankenstein (Branagh) patches together a monstrous being (De Niro), who embarks on malicious crusade when its creator rejects it.

The Background:
In a bid to tell a story that spoke to “the mysterious fears of our nature” while snowed in in Geneva, eighteen year old Mary Shelley dreamed up Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus in 1818, attracting much controversy for its blasphemous content and producing a celebrated piece of literary fiction. Following a short silent film in 1910, Frankenstein saw considerable success on the stage and silver screen thanks to James Whales’ 1931 horror classic and Boris Karloff’s iconic performance. Following numerous additional reinterpretations, and the incredible critical and commercial success of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Coppola, 1992), director Francis Ford Coppola wanted to helm a more faithful adaptation of the book before moving into a producer role. Coppola’s first mandate was that Robert De Niro be cast as the tragic creature and that Kenneth Branagh should direct. Next, Frank Darabont was drafted to rewrite Steph Lady’s initial script, though he later lamented that Branagh had heavily altered his vision for the film. Alongside a far more fantastical depiction of the Monster’s reanimation, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein presented a dramatically different version of the creature, one far closer to Shelley’s text than other adaptations. With a box office of $112 million, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein was a modest financial success met with mostly mixed reviews that criticised the manic pace and surprisingly bland execution, while praising De Niro’s heart wrenching performance and the intriguing exploration of Victor’s haunting obsessions.

The Review:
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein immediately gets off on the right food by establishing a framing narrative the echoes the original text, beginning by following Captain Robert Walton as he leads his crew in a desperate bid to find a path through the ice to the North Pole. Unfortunately, the journey is so perilous and difficult that his crew are close to breaking point. Even when the ship gets trapped in ice, Captain Walton refuses to turn back, having spent his entire fortune funding the trip and being driven by an obsession with etching his name in history, no matter the cost. As the crew frantically try to free the ship and entertain thoughts of mutiny, they’re startled by an inhuman howl and amazed when a dishevelled cloaked figure appears from the storm, babbling about some “thing” out on the ice. Captain Walton takes the exhausted stranger in and cares for him, curious about what’s waiting in the frigid wasteland, only to be introduced to the manic, wild-eyed rantings of Victor Frankenstein, who begs Captain Walton to give up his crusade due to the danger of the mysterious thing pursuing him. When Captain Walton refuses, scoffing and enraged at the idea of being denied his destiny, Frankenstein is distraught to see the stubborn captain shares his madness and, in a bid to convince him to turn back before he destroys himself and his crew, tells Captain Walton his life story. This is related through the remainder of the film, with some correspondence between Frankenstein and his adopted sister, Elizabeth (Carter), and excerpts from Frankenstein’s journal mirroring the epistolary nature of the novel, and being bookended by Captain Walton’s reaction to Frankenstein’s crazed story of scientific obsession turned to destruction.

Obsessed with defeating death, Frankenstein employs immoral and outlawed sciences to create life.

Frankenstein met Elizabeth when they were children (Rory Jennings and Hannah Taylor-Gordon) and spent his whole life caring for her as though she were his own, as instructed by his beloved mother, Caroline (Cherie Lunghi), and expert surgeon father, Baron Alphonse Frankenstein (Holm). Even from an early age, Frankenstein hungered for knowledge and conducted many eccentric experiments using ancient tomes, mostly concerning the transfer and nature of energy, to the amazement of his family. Unfortunately, Frankenstein’s youth was marred by tragedy as his mother died giving birth to his younger brother, William/Willie (Charles Wyn-Davies/Ryan Smith), an event that traumatised Frankenstein and began his obsession with defeating death. Upon arriving at the University of Ingolstadt to follow in his father’s footsteps, Frankenstein immediately gains notoriety for studying and championing unconventional texts and authors long considered heretics or sorcerers, angering his more rational and scientifically minded tutors, who believe their focus should be on saving lives using the scientific method. Obstinate and arrogant, Frankenstein secretly continues his experiments alongside his enthusiastic (if medically conventional) friend Henry Clerval (Tom Hulce), but his outbursts attract the curiosity of Professor Waldman (John Cleese), who touted similar beliefs in the past and was tarnished because of it. Frequent discussions and experiments with Professor Waldman further Frankenstein’s obsession with preventing or reversing death, discovering that the applying electricity to key areas of the body can reanimate corpses, though even Professor Walden refuses to share his notes and divulge how close he came before giving up his crusade. Frankenstein, however, is undeterred and only redoubles his efforts after his mentor is senselessly murdered trying to prevent an outbreak of cholera. Despite Clerval’s objections, Frankenstein studies Professor Walden’s notes and arrogantly believes he can succeed where his mentor failed by acquiring the right “raw materials” for his “reanimate”, locking himself in his attic laboratory and ignoring his friends and loved ones as he works himself to exhaustion stitching together a monstrosity that he believes will be both smarter, stronger, and superior to man.

Frankenstein’s work sees him shun those closest to him, including his devoted adopted sister and lover.

Frankenstein’s fixation on overcoming death sees him become a recluse; he locks Clerval out and stops writing letters to his family and Elizabeth, who’s particularly distraught as the two became so close over the years that they couldn’t deny their feelings and vowed to be married once Frankenstein finished his studies. While it is admittedly quite disturbing to see these “siblings” suddenly lustful for each other, no one bats an eyelid at their romance because it’s been obvious to everyone, especially nursemaid Justine Moritz (Trevyn McDowell), who’s been in love when Frankenstein since they were children, that that two have always cared deeply for one another, Elizabeth is besotted by Frankenstein, eagerly anticipating consummating their relationship on their wedding night and desiring to bring new life to their family home through their children. Encouraged by Justine, Elizabeth travels to Ingolstadt to be with her lover, concerned for his welfare, only to find him a physical and emotional wreck living in squalor. Erratic and fixated on his work, Frankenstein shuns Elizabeth and sends her away, breaking her heart. However, when he’s discovered in a feverish stupor by Clerval, Frankenstein is nursed back to health by his friend and his love, reconciling with Elizabeth and suddenly vowing to give up his bizarre and secretive experiments. Frankenstein returns to his family home in Geneva, ready to commit himself to medical science alongside Clerval, and joyously announcing his engagement to his father, who celebrates the union as a blessed event. However, Frankenstein remains tight-lipped about his dark days isolated in his lab and refuses to speak of what transpired there, taking solace in his newfound happiness. Elizabeth and Alphonse are left devastated when Frankenstein’s past comes back to haunt him, however, as poor little Willie is brutally murdered on the family grounds and poor Justine is unfairly and unlawful lynched as the primary suspect, thrown off the prison roof and hanged by the bloodthirsty local despite the true culprit being a hideous creature of Frankenstein’s own making.

Robert De Niro disappears behind the creature’s monstrous make-up.

Following Professor Walden’s notes, Frankenstein cobbles together a brutish patchwork creature from bits and pieces of others, including the man who killed his mentor and Professor Walden’s brain. Using a bizarre contraption filled with amniotic fluid and powered by electric eels, Frankenstein maniacally sees his experiment through and is initially overjoyed when his creature comes to life. However, he immediately regrets his actions, echoing Professor Walden’s own conclusions, when the Monster appears ungainly, deformed, and brain damaged. Believing the creature to be dead, a remorseful Frankenstein forgets the entire thing, unaware that his creature stumbled through Ingolstadt in a daze before being driven to the countryside by paranoid locals who, upon seeing the monstrous visage, assumed it was the cause of the cholera outbreak. While in the woods, the Monster shelters in the barn of a kindly family of farmers, who are struggling to survive due to the bitter winter cold. Touched by their kindness towards each other and their plight, the creature secretly helps harvest their crops and learns (or, as it later says, remembers) how to read and write by observing them. When the creature defends the family’s blind grandfather (Richard Briers), it’s welcomed by the grateful old man, who shows compassion, only for the rest of the family to misread the situation and drive the Monster away before fleeing. Learning of its origins from Frankenstein’s journal, the enraged creature hunts down its creator and confronts him on “the sea of ice”, desperate to learn the purpose of its existence. Though a deeply sympathetic and pitiable creature, it’s hard to feel too bad for Frankenstein’s being when it delights in detailing how it crushed the life from Willie and set Justine up for her execution. It vows to indulge its insatiable rage if Frankenstein refuses to build it a mate, promising to disappear from the world if it has a companion to ease its suffering, and is presented as the personification of Frankenstein’s folly.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s been a while since I read the book, but Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is certainly the most accurate adaptation of the text I’ve ever seen. It has the framing narrative, showcases his family life, details his studies, and presents the Monster as being intelligent and articulate, all things largely ignored in the 1931 version. Frankenstein has always been a favourite of mine, largely because of this movie, which I believe was my first exposure to the story. It’s amusing to watch in some ways, however, since Frankenstein’s rantings about hair and fingernails regrowing after death have long been proven to have nothing to do with the body still being alive. Similarly, his experiments with electricity are shown to literally reanimate a frog when we know that any convulsions and movements are due to the electrical current. Frankenstein does touch upon some valid aspects of medicine in his rantings, however, like organ transfers, very much making him ahead of his time (and thus a heretic to the God-fearing scientific community). I’ve always found it odd, though, that Frankenstein stitches together his creation. Professor Walden’s notes state that the right “raw materials” may result in success, though it’s not clear what makes any of the body parts Frankenstein gets more “right” than others except when he harvests “the very finest brain” from his mentor. It seems like it’d be much easier to simply zap Professor Walden’s body to bring him back but, instead, Frankenstein cobbles together a creature he feels will be the perfect lifeform, only to be disgusted and ashamed of his feeble creation once he realises he’s made a massive mistake. I really enjoyed that we got to see the Monster learning from the family and the exploration of how its mind works. Many of its memories and abilities are presented as “trace memories”, as though each body part remembers something different from its previous life and the creature can use that knowledge to learnt to speak and play the flute while also being a completely unique personality, one driven by incredible love and equally powerful rage.

A visually memorable, gory, and faithful adaptation of the thought-provoking text.

It’s astounding to me that Robert De Niro, of all people, was cast as the creature but he does an excellent job depicting the Monster’s confusion, anguish, and hatred. Initially a mindless, wailing creature acting on instinct, the Monster comes to realise it is a living thing (in a sense) and has been abandoned by its creator. Its conversation with Frankenstein echoes the bitter resentment a man may have towards God and Frankenstein’s blunt, clinical answers about the creature’s purpose and origin speak to the disappointment one might feel upon asking God, “Why am I here?” Rather than being a bulky, block-headed giant lumbering about with bolts through it sneck, the Monster is a patchwork of skin and body parts, with De Niro’s eyes conveying the bulk of the emotion as the impressive make-up distorts his features. Instead of channelling a lightning bolt into his creation, Frankenstein constructs an elaborate and frankly ridiculous contraption that uses special chemicals, electrodes, and electric eels in an unsettlingly sexualised sack to birth his creature, somewhat overcomplicating the process but providing some unique visuals, if nothing else. The creature is depicted as being incredibly unstable, boasting superhuman strength and agility and seemingly impervious to the cold, and flip-flopping between loving and gentle and abhorrently brutal as it relishes killing Willie and tormenting Frankenstein. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein gets very gory, with death, especially, depicted as a messy and traumatising affair. Caroline and Professor Walden’s deaths are particularly gruesome, leaving the Frankenstein’s covered in blood, and Justine’s is notably harrowing given the senselessness of it all. Things come to a head when the Monster, enraged when Frankenstein breaks his vow, makes good on its promise and brutally murders Elizabeth on their wedding night, ripping out her heart and mangling her corpse with glass and fire. It’s no wonder that Frankenstein is so obsessed with defeating death considering these experiences, but his obsession is tainted by arrogance and a God complex that makes him foolhardy and stubborn, refusing to entertain any notions contrary to his or apply his admittedly keen mind towards perfecting surgeries and medicines to achieve his goal.

Frankenstein’s obsession ends in heartbreak and death when his creation demands recompense.

Although Frankenstein reluctantly agrees to create a mate for the Monster, desperate to atone for his mistakes and to give his creation some peace, he backs out on the deal when the experiment again alienates him from Elizabeth. Marshalling his family guards, Frankenstein abandons his work to marry Elizabeth, only to be devastated and horrified when the Monster tears out her heart in recompense. With his lover dead and his father dying of a broken heart following Willie’s murder, a grieving Frankenstein shuns Clerval’s objections and frantically stitches Elizabeth’s disfigured head to Justine’s corpse and recreates his experiment, desperate to be reunited with his love and lost to his insane obsession once more. Even when the confused, clearly disfigured and inept Elizabeth returns to life, Frankenstein refuses to realise what he’s done, begging her to say his name, slipping on her wedding gown and ring, and dancing with her with manic joy even as she flops around like a lifeless puppet. Frankenstein’s bliss is shattered when the Monster appears and claims Elizabeth for itself, her being drawn to the monstrous being on some primal instinct. While Frankenstein is elated when she finally chokes out his name, Elizabeth is horrified when she catches sight of her mangled reflection and incensed when the two fight over her, eventually choosing to immolate herself, taking Frankenstein’s home with her. Returning to Captain Walden, we learn that Frankenstein pursued his creature for months, always being drawn north, intent on killing the beast. However, Frankenstein succumbs to pneumonia and dies, much to the despair of his creation, who weeps for its “father”. Taking pity on the Monster, Captain Walden organises a funeral, only for the ice to crack and the Monster to choose to die alongside his father rather than return to the world of man. Finally, after seeing how destructive obsession can be and touched by Frankenstein’s story, Captain Walden agrees to abandon his crusade before he’s destroyed in the same way.

The Summary:
I’ve always had a soft spot for Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it was my introduction to the story and sparked a lifelong fondness for the text, its stirring themes, and its complex, monstrous creature. However, it’s not a film I watch all that often as it is quite long and it does have some flaws. While Kenneth Branagh did an excellent job conveying Frankenstein’s obsession and mania, I think it was quite self-indulgent to cast himself in the movie. I’m not always convinced by Helena Bonham Carter or her relationship with Frankenstein, which is a bit questionable in this day and age, and the film overly complicates iconic moments like the construction and birth of the Monster, seemingly to be more grounded and realistic despite how fantastical the story is. Robert De Niro did a surprisingly great job as the Monster, however. I never would’ve pegged him for a role like this, but he showcases an unexpected emotional depth that perfectly captures the creature’s intense love and blinding fury, presenting a very different and much more accurate portrayal of the creature that challenges the popular depiction of it as a mindless, lumbering giant. This is a very beautiful film, with some fantastic sets and costumes, that really captures the period setting. It’ll always be weird to seeing the bizarre equipment used to bring the creature to life but it’s certainly memorable, and doubly unsettling when viewed as an allegory for birth. Frankenstein’s obsessions are very relatable, as is the Monster’s rage, and both are flawed, justified characters in different ways that really make you think about the nature of “good” and “evil”. The creature is like the personification of karma, relentlessly causing death and torment for its creator, literally destroying Frankenstein’s entire family for revenge. Had Frankenstein embraced and nurtured his creation, or simply destroyed it, much of the anguish he suffers could’ve been avoided but Frankenstein’s arrogance and superiority complex constantly prove his undoing. Ultimately, I can understand why many dislike Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as it’s not the easiest film to watch, but it’s always been a not-so-guilty pleasure of mine and it remains as evocative today as it did when I was a teenager, so I have a lot of fondness for this flawed creation.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you also a fan of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein or did you find it too much of a slog to sit through? What did you think to the cast and their performances and were you surprised to see Robert De Niro in such a role? Did you like how different the creature’s make-up effects were? Do you consider this the most faithful adaptation of the text? How are you celebrating horror this year? Leave your thoughts on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more Frankenstein content.

Movie Night: Frankenstein (1931)

Dr. K5 Comments

Released: 21 November 1931
Director: James Whale
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $262,007
Stars: Colin Clive, Boris Karloff/?, Mae Clarke, Dwight Frye, and Edward Van Sloan

The Plot:
Obsessed with playing God, eccentric scientist Henry Frankenstein (Clive) cobbles together a monstrous being (Karloff/?) whose child-like nature sees it embark on a rampage.

The Background:
“I busied myself to think of a story […] One which would speak to the mysterious fears of our nature, and awaken thrilling horror…” And so it was that Mary Shelley, while effectively snowed in in Geneva, thought up the concept for Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus at just eighteen years old. First published anonymously in 1818, what began as a ghost story that attracted much controversy due to Shelley’s gender and its blasphemous content, evolved into a celebrated piece of literary fiction whose scientific, gothic, and religious themes have been discussed endlessly for over two hundred years. Frankenstein was first adapted into a short silent film in 1910 but saw considerable success on the British stage, courtesy of Peggy Webling, despite numerous changes to the source material. Following their surprising success with Dracula (Browning, 1931), Universal Studios gave producer Carl Laemmle Jr. the go-ahead to produce more horror movies, with them acquiring the rights to the Frankenstein stage play. Though Laemmle Jr. initially planned to play the Monster, Dracula star Bela Lugosi was approached for the role but (in)famously turned it down as the initial script had stripped the creature of all nuance and humanity. Instead, the Monster was famously embodied by Boris Karloff, who endured long, painful hours in make-up to bring the creature to (un)life with a look that was noticeably removed from the book. Though subjected to rigorous censorship demands, Frankenstein was a remarkable box office hit at the time thanks, in part, to clever marketing. Despite its many differences from the book, Frankenstein was widely praised for Karloff’s captivating performance and as one of the best films of its year. The film stood the test of time as a horror classic, popularising this interpretation of the Monster for generations and leading to numerous sequels and reinterpretations of the text.

The Review:
Surprisingly, I do have some experience with Shelley’s Frankenstein, having studied it at secondary school and during my undergraduate years, if only briefly. Although I’ve read and written about the text before, it has been a while since I revisited the book and most of my experiences come from the movies, as with all the Universal Monsters characters. Still, I remember enough to know that Frankenstein is a very loose adaptation, missing many details and supplanting them with others, though some of the missing material was utilised in the sequel, Bride of Frankenstein (Whale, 1935), so literary purists may have a better time watching both back-to-back. The first and most obvious change is that Frankenstein is named “Henry” here, with his title given to his cantankerous father, Baron Frankenstein (Frederick Kerr) and his original first name given to his friend, Victor Moritz (John Boles), who’s essentially an adaptation of the book’s Henry Clerval. Frankenstein also has a simple-minded, hunchbacked assistant in the movie (named Fritz (Frye) rather than the more mainstream “Igor”) rather than working alone, the Monster is deathly afraid of fire and never speaks, and many events are shuffled around. This is largely because, like Dracula, Frankenstein is based more on the stage play than the text, but it does mean the movie hits differently and explores alternate, if tangentially similar, themes regarding science, playing God, and the nature of man. The very fact that Frankenstein deals with such issues, no doubt shocking to a God-fearing world, potentially explains why the film opens with star Edward Van Sloan warning audiences to turn away if they’re shocked by such content. Indeed, the horror of Frankenstein, at the time, was just as much about a man playing God as it was the titular (or not so titular) Monster, since the idea that anyone but God can create life would’ve been deeply blasphemous and the fear of the unknown (in this case, science) would’ve made the subject matter particularly upsetting, I’m sure.

Despite warnings from his friends and loves ones, Frankenstein creates monstrous life with science.

Anyway, in Frankenstein, Henry comes from a wealthy family with a great deal of influence on a small village in the Bavarian Alps. While the curmudgeonly Baron Frankenstein despairs of his son’s bizarre experiments and decision to isolate himself in an ominous stone tower laboratory with Fritz, Henry’s correspondence to his fiancée, Elizabeth Lavenza (Clarke), tells of his need for privacy and solitude. This is primarily because he and Fritz are sneaking out at night and digging up bodies, selecting organs and body parts for a patchwork man Henry aims to bring to life through the awesome power of electricity. While they scavenge everything they need for the body, Henry’s frustrated that the recently deceased can’t provide a viable brain, so he has Fritz steal a preserved brain from his old mentor, Doctor Waldman (Van Sloan), not realising that it’s a “criminal brain” seemingly hardwired for evil (that’s also further damaged by the clumsy Fritz). Concerned for her love’s welfare, Elizabeth politely shrugs off Victor’s advances and convinces him to ask Dr. Waldman for advice, with the three braving a horrific thunderstorm to visit Henry. Though frustrated by their interference, Henry invites them to witness his crowning achievement when Victor (fully aware of his intentions) accuses him of being mad. While Henry denies this claim, it’s obvious that he is a little bonkers, as seen in his exuberant and iconic cry of “It’s alive!!”, his claims to “be God”, and his initial denial regarding his creation once it comes to life. Ecstatic to have brought the creature to life, Henry insists that the childlike being needs time to adjust rather than rejecting it on first sight as in the novel. This is despite the protests of Dr. Waldman, who correctly warns that the “Monster” is an abomination to God and a threat to all due to its capacity for evil and its unpredictable nature.

Thanks to its unnatural origin, Frankenstein’s Monster is confused and quick to wild emotions.

Despite his efforts to teach the Monster, Frankenstein is forced to agree when the creature flies into a rage at the sight of fire and acts like a wild animal while chained in the basement, murdering Fritz, attacking Dr. Waldman, and almost throttling Henry before Dr. Waldman subdues it with what’s supposed to be a lethal injection. During Henry’s recuperation, his madness lifts and he returns to a normal life, finally marrying Elizabeth (to the joy of his father and the village). Ever the curious scientist, Dr. Waldman leads the vivisection on the Monster, becoming its second victim when it reanimates and strangles him to death. Though initially oblivious to the threat, Henry (and the entire village) are alerted of a wicked murderer after learning that local girl Maria (Marilyn Harris) has been drowned, Dr. Waldman killed, and after Elizabeth is attacked. Much of this is similar to the book, such as the Monster stumbling across a little girl, murdering a child, and going on a bit of a killing spree, but it’s framed as the actions of a confused and misunderstood creature rather than acts of wickedness. While the film goes to great lengths to assert that Frankenstein’s experiments are immoral and inhuman, the tone is awkwardly balanced between Henry’s madness, the darker sequences, and some strange comedic moments. These largely involve the blustering Baron Frankenstein, who’s convinced his son’s having an affair, demands that he forget his experiments, and constantly rambles about his grandmother’s wine. The Baron has no patience for Burgomaster Herr Vogel (Lionel Belmore) or the expectant masses…until Henry snaps out of his obsession and returns to the real world, and then the Baron’s all smiles and jokes. Elizabeth is the quintessential supporting fiancée, deeply devoted to Henry despite him isolating himself and Victor being right there, and far more suitable. Victor is basically a blank slate, shouting accusations at Frankenstein and offering little else, and honestly his role could’ve easily been merged into Dr. Waldman’s to speed things up.

Madness and science birth a confused and potentially dangerous abomination.

As ever, “Frankenstein” is both the Monster and the creator as Henry brings the wretch to life and is the subject of the film but does so through abhorrent acts like grave robbing and stealing. The Monster is seemingly a mishmash of different parts and pieces, with no true personality of its own, but it does retain rudimentary memories. These initially encourage Frankenstein as the Monster’s capable of stumbling about and obeying basic instructions, but his enthusiasm quickly dies when he sees how savage the Monster becomes when confronted by fire. The Monster’s rage is only fuelled when Fritz beats it and Henry gives up on it, reluctantly agreeing to kill the creature only to find Fritz strung up. Depicted as simple-minded but incredibly strong, the Monster easily overpowers two or three men at once and gleefully throttles Dr. Waldman, perhaps out of sheer muscle memory from its “criminal brain” or perhaps because it recognises the threat those around him pose to its existence. Indeed, when the Monster stumbles upon Maria, it sits and plays, laughing and seemingly content. However, it misunderstands the girl’s game of tossing flowers into the river and chucks her in for a laugh, drowning her despite her landing in the shallow end and unintentionally whipping the villagers into a lynch mob. It’s not clear why the Monster pays a visit to Elizabeth, especially as it seemed to be wandering at random, but she’s horrified by its grotesque appearance, and it attacks her when she tries to flee. Luckily for her, it leaves her alive, which only motivates Frankenstein to join the mob. Although the Monster looks nothing like Shelley’s descriptions, its design is certainly iconic and striking. A tall, lurching, shambling wretch with its eyes largely rolled back, two bolts in its neck, and misshapen skin, the Monster is an unnatural man-thing that mocks the beauty of natural life. Yet, interestingly, Henry isn’t immediately disgusted by it and the Monster is shown only to be confused and scared, lashing out accordingly and in need of guidance rather than persecution.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Frankenstein was certainly ambitious for the time. Boris Karloff’s make-up looks both impressive and extremely uncomfortable, with the actor perfectly stomping about and making stiff, jerky movements to show the creature is unnatural and undead. Although the film lacks a score to emphasis dramatic moments, there’s some great use of sound during the thunderstorm, which delivers the film’s most impressive moment. Sure, it’s weird that Henry’s visitors aren’t drenched when they enter the laboratory and his whole setup takes a lot of liberties with the source material, but Frankenstein’s laboratory is the quintessential “mad scientist” setup and a wonderful way to show the awesome and seemingly unknowable power of nature (in this case, lightning). Baron Frankenstein’s residence also impressed in its opulence, and I liked that Frankenstein incorporated many different locations, though some sets were a bit too obvious (which is to be expected). The film utilised a decent miniature to depict the windmill and its destruction and I was impressed by how often flaming torches appeared onscreen, and how fast and loose everyone played with getting up close to them! While the Monster’s jerky movements made his “fight scenes” a joke, I did like seeing these normal guys and scientists struggling to subdue the savage Monster, who easily overpowered them and left a decent body count in its wake. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see the Monster learning to speak or being more than a near-mindless creature, but the intention seems to be to emphasise that Henry came so close to playing God but screwed it up because man isn’t meant to meddle in such things. It’s always amused me as it surely would’ve been easier for Frankenstein to reanimate a fresh body than to stitch together a grotesque behemoth, and he arguably pays the price for that approach since the Monster is as much a victim of its disparate pieces as it is the situation it finds itself in.

A dramatic showdown between man and creation ends this startling loose adaptation.

Upon discovering Maria’s dirty, drowned body, her shellshocked father (Michael Mark) carries her through the village and to the Burgomaster to warn of a murderer and immediately incites a lynch mob. The seething masses are only further incited when Dr. Waldman is found dead and Elizabeth is attacked, for the village holds the Frankensteins in high regard and is outraged at such an act. Frankenstein joins the search, which is split between different areas of the village and the surrounding grounds, with Henry venturing into the jagged mountains alongside rabid dogs and villagers wielding flaming torches. Unaware that his Monster is to blame for the deaths (since Henry believes the creature perished from Dr. Waldman’s serum), Henry is stunned when the Monster attacks him in the wastelands. The scuffle is brief and one-sided, with Frankenstein easily bested and hauled to a nearby dilapidated windmill with the mob in hot pursuit. Desperate to escape to the high ground, the Monster tangles with Frankenstein when he wakes, with Henry proving no match for his creation and being tossed from top floor. Luckily for him, the slow-moving windmill blades break his fall, leaving Frankenstein a gravely injured (but inconceivably alive) wreck on the ground. While some villagers carry Henry home, the others set the windmill on fire, sending the trapped Monster into a frenzy and seemingly causing its destruction when it’s consumed by the fire. In the aftermath, Frankenstein recovers at home alongside Elizabeth and his father celebrates with another shot of the family wine, toasting his family house and blissfully unaware that the rampage was caused by another “son of the house of Frankenstein”. It’s obviously a very different ending from the book, with the entire sub-plot and bookend of Captain Robert Walton dropped, Elizabeth and Henry surviving the events, and the omission of the Monster’s bride and vengeance upon Frankenstein’s family. Still, the Monster does seemingly perish in a fire like in the book and I don’t expect filmmakers from 1931 to try and bring the Arctic to life.

The Summary:
Since the stage play that Frankenstein is more directly adapted from has essentially been lost to the mists of time, it can be difficult to reconcile how loose an adaptation the film is from the source material. The film omits and changes many elements from the book, distilling the key events and themes to a feature-film length and losing much of the complex charm and horror of Shelley’s book. Yet, these elements are still present and, even in this modern day, there’s still a chilling message about man’s arrogance in using science to play God. While Henry Frankenstein insists that he’s the model of sanity, he is out in the dead of night digging up corpses, isolating himself from friends and family, and practically frothing at the mouth when his Monster comes to life. Though he lacks much of the nuance of the source material, Frankenstein is depicted as an egotistical and obsessed scientist who claws back some sympathy after initially appearing somewhat unlikeable, ultimately paying for his arrogance not with his life, but with a traumatic experience. Frankenstein’s lasting legacy is, without a doubt, the design and portrayal of the Monster. Boris Karloff gives a remarkable physical performance, lumbering about, throwing clubbing blows, and growling at his prey as the Monster struggles to adapt to its newfound unlife. The visual of the Monster, with its cuboid head, large suit, and metal bolts, is enduring and iconic and is so burned into the cultural consciousness that I’d wager most people don’t realise that the Monster looks nothing like that in the book. Frankenstein also impresses in its ambition, featuring many different locations and sets, some superb set design, and a surprisingly high body count (including a child, no less!) The film distils the book’s warnings about meddling in the unknown into a far more simplistic message about reaping what you sow, but it’s still a decent watch, despite some unavoidable flaws, that no doubt galvanised this version of Frankenstein’s Monster into the cultural zeitgeist.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Are you a fan of Frankenstein’s big-screen debut? What did you think to the changes to the source material and which parts did you miss the most? Did you also find Baron Frankenstein a bizarre character? What did you think to Boris Karloff’s performance and the dramatic redesign of the Monster? Where do you stand on who should or shouldn’t be called “Frankenstein”? Which adaptation of Frankenstein, or Universal Monsters movie, is your favourite? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Share your opinions on Frankenstein in the comments, check out my other horror reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you want to see more Frankenstein content.

Back Issues: The Tomb of Dracula #1

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Story Title: “Dracula”
Published: 16 November 1971 (cover dated: April 1972)
Writer: Gerry Conway
Artist: Gene Colan

The Background:
Inspired by famous butchers like Vlad II/Vlad Dracula/Vlad the Impaler, Count Dracula first appeared all the way back in 1897 courtesy of author Bram Stoker’s classic Gothic novel, which became the great-great-grandfather of what we now know as the vampire mythology. An instant classic, Dracula was adapted many times over the years as plays, movies, videogames, and even comic books. Indeed, when publishers like Marvel Comics were finally allowed to print stories involving vampires and other supernatural creatures, writers like Gerry Conway and artist gene Colon selected the infamous Count to spearhead the Tomb of Dracula series. Heavily inspired by classic Hammer Horror films, The Tomb of Dracula saw numerous writers and artists come and go as it struggled to find its identity and is perhaps best known for introducing Eric Brooks/Blade to Marvel readers. Still, Dracula went on to clash with many Marvel heroes, especially those who were involved with the supernatural. Dracula worked alongside the Avengers to fend off the Dread Dormammu, spawned a Nazi vampire, established a vampire colony on the Moon, and even matched wits with various cosmic beings. Perhaps surprisingly, Dracula also appeared in many Marvel cartoons but was most infamously brought to life by Dominic Purcell in the much-maligned Blade: Trinity (Goyer, 2004).

The Review:
Marvel’s version of the enigmatic Count was first introduced, fittingly enough, against the backdrop of a storm swept Transylvania, where Count Dracula’s mighty, gothic castle stands ominously on a hilltop. Despite the torrential weather and poor visibility, Frank Drake and his girlfriend, Jeanie Ovington, brave the storm alongside Clifton Graves, Frank’s cantankerous long-time friend who chastises Drake’s decision to fly from London just to sell the castle, which he recently inherited. While the three lament their misfortunes, hopelessly lost, residents of the nearby village discuss Frank’s impending arrival. While Fritz Burgeister predicts only sorrow will come from continuing to mess with the long-abandoned castle, a local barmaid hopes that Frank will bring some much-needed tourism and revenue to their sleepy Romani town. Just then, the three stumble into the Baron’s Inn seeking transportation to Castle Dracula from Fritz. However, Fritz refuses to take them to the castle and is adamant that none of the townsfolk would volunteer to replace him. While Clifton scoffs that the locals believe the wild tales spun by Bram Stoker, one of the patrons, Otto, volunteers to take them…for a small fee. Naturally, this is by horse and carriage and, on the way, Otto shares tales of how Dracula’s legend is debatable for, while such a man possibly existed, none can be sure if he were actually a vampire as Stoker claimed. Regardless, fear of the Count and his kin drives many of the locals to bar their windows, leave wolf’s-bane at their doors, and wear crucifixes to ward off any evil spirits. While Otto claims to be an exception in this regard, he’s no fool and refuses to take them right to the castle door, forcing the three to walk the rest of the way and costing Clifton his last ten bucks for the pleasure.

Broke Frank Drake is forced to visit his alluring, Gothic ancestral home to recoup his losses.

While Frank’s distracted by the grandeur of Castle Dracula, Clifton tries to put the moves on Jeanie. However, while they used to be a thing, she ended it months ago and is sick of his refusal to accept that she’s moved on. Frank, however, is lost in memories of how he stupidly blew his father’s fortune, how Jeanie stuck by him despite his money woes, and him being refused financial aid from banks and friends alike. While sharing his woes with Clifton, Frank mentions how all he has left is an old castle, one passed down through his family line and which his family has struggled to sell. This is where we learn that Frank is a descendant of Dracula’s and that it was actually Clifton’s idea to capitalise on his lineage by turning the castle into a tourist attraction. While reading through a family journal (strongly implied to be Stoker’s novel, reinterpreted as a historical document), Frank felt the stirring of “some ancestral memory” and was captivated by the descriptions of Dracula. The book also told of his ancestor’s shame and fear of being associated with the Count and of how Abraham van Helsing (referred to as “van Helfing”) seemingly destroyed the vampire lord by driving a wooden stake through his heart. Haunted by the text, Frank nevertheless agreed to head to Transylvania with Clifton and Jeanie in hopes of turning the castle into a museum though, as he stands in the shadow of the gothic structure, Frank can’t help but be unnerved by the strange feelings of home and destiny exuded by the dark building. As they tour the interior, Frank’s odd behaviour worries Jeanie, who’s startled when a cloud of bats suddenly swarms them. Although Frank fends them off, Jeanie’s left traumatised and wanting to leave, noting that Frank’s changed and is no longer the sweet man who gifted her a silver compact mirror.

The enigmatic count mesmerises Jeanie, corrupting her despite Frank’s best efforts.

Determined to force Jeanie back into his arms and screw his friend over, Clifton takes off and ends up tumbling into a dungeon. There, he discovers a narrow stone stairway leading to an ancient tomb, where Dracula’s coffin rests. Seeing only dollar signs, Clifton draws a gun and arrogantly opens the crypt, discovering the skeletal corpse of Dracula, stake and all, lying within. Excited, Clifton removes the stake and sets out to kill Frank so he can reap all the rewards, unaware that this act causes Dracula to reconstitute and rise again! Weary and famished from his long slumber, the eloquent Count pounces upon Clifton, shrugging off his gun shot and tossing him into a deeper dungeon for safekeeping. Entranced by the sound of others, especially a woman, Dracula heads to the upper floors in his bat form, frightening Jeanie and then horrifying both her and Frank when he reveals his true self. Thanks to his silver tongue and hypnotic eyes, Dracula easily sways Jeanie to leave Frank’s side, so he knocks her out with a right hook to keep her safe (!) and sends Dracula fleeing by flashing her silver compact. As Frank rushes Jeanie upstairs (since she’s somehow “close to dying!”), Dracula flies to the village and feeds upon the barmaid, turning the locals into an angry mob when they rightly assume that Frank and the others disturbed the legendary vampire. Returning to his castle, Dracula spies on the unconscious Jeanie and, though tempted by her purity and innocence, is again denied another meal by the glittering crucifix around her neck. Frank takes credit for this and confronts his ancestor, warding the vampire off with the compact’s mirror, enraging Dracula and casing him to strike his cousin, knocking him out. Although Dracula compels Jeanie to remove her crucifix, the angry mob sets the castle alight and Frank recovers in time to flash the compact once more, forcing Dracula to flee. Unfortunately, Frank was too late to stop Jeanie being bitten and she awakens as a vampire, mocking his grief and fleeing into the misty night.

The Summary:
This had a bit of potential, but didn’t fully deliver on its premise. I quite like the idea that Dracula is treated as folklore, a retelling of factual events whose veracity is disputed. For the Transylvanian locals, Castle Dracula is all-too real and the fear of the vampire lord within is strong enough to stir up superstitions and debate between them. While none of them dispute that Dracula did exist, some aren’t convinced he was a vampire and yet many take precautions nevertheless because…why tempt fate? Fritz takes these concerns very seriously, presumptuously speaking for his fellow villagers and claiming that no one will help Frank and the others. This isn’t quite true as Otto’s assistance can be bought, though even he’ll only go so far despite boasting of his disbelief of such superstitious nonsense. Whether they believe it or not, Castle Dracula stands as an ominous monument. Its very presence evokes fear and it’s become a symbol of all their superstitions, though ironically may hold the key to bring some much-needed revenue to the struggling villagers as it could lure in tourists. The ill-fated barmaid is almost as excited by this prospect as the opportunistic Clifton, who maliciously manipulates Frank into buying into his family’s account of the Count and profiting off his inheritance, with no understanding of what truly lurks within Castle Dracula. He’s perfectly happy to use his friend, openly complaining and criticising him and gaslighting Frank into believing the troubles they’ve suffered from the trip are his fault, all with the aim of profiting both financial and by regaining Jeanie’s affections. While she has no time for Clifton (and even Frank quickly loses patience), Clifton refuses to take no for an answer and is even prepared to off Frank just so that he can weasel his way back into Jeanie’s bed, a selfish ambition that blinds him and makes him easy prey for the rejuvenated vampire lord.

Despite his visual appeal, Dracula is strangely weak and fails to match his filmic counterparts.

Yes, Dracula is very real here. Clearly modelled after Christopher Lee’s iconic portrayal from Dracula: Prince of Darkness (Fisher, 1966), the Count is a tall, alluring figure with hypnotic eyes and even more hypnotic voice. A gothic figure of ancient legend, he’s ripped straight from Bram Stoker’s novel and sports many of the same tropes and weaknesses. He can transform into a bat, mesmerise his prey, feeds on their blood, and is warded off by wolf’s-bane, silver, crucifixes, and mirrors. The Drake journal reveals that their bloodline largely distanced themselves from Dracula out of fear and tells how an old vampire hunter finally slayed the creature, revealing that Dracula can be killed with a wooden stake (though this doesn’t come into play, except to revitalise the fiend). Immune to Clifton’s bullets, Dracula’s scared off by Jeanie’s convenient silver combat mirror and heads into town to feed, though seems displeased by the barmaid’s blood and desires purer, sweeter blood. Thus, he targets Jeanie, a caring spouse who worries about Frank’s distracted state and fends off Clifton’s advances, though she crumbles like paper whenever bats appear, much less Dracula. Dracula seems a bit weak here, which is understandable since he just woke up, but it’s weird that his strike didn’t kill Frank. The story’s also incomprehensible at times; Frank seems to think Jeanie’s in danger of dying after simply passing out and she gets bitten between panels, which wasn’t very clear. In the end, this was an alright story with some unique visuals. I like the gothic depiction of Castle Dracula and the torrential rain, and Dracula’s very Lee-esque appearance and unique, haunting way of talking. However, it was quite a repetitive story (Frank relied on that silver compact way too much) that didn’t fully deliver on all its plot threads (Clifton being a prime example). I can only hope that future issues of The Tomb of Dracula characterised the titular Count as less of a weakling as this wasn’t a great showing for him here, even if he did get the last laugh by turning Jeanie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Count Dracula’s debut story? Were you disappointed by how weak he was depicted? What did you think to Frank Drake and the depiction of Dracula’s legend? Did you ever read The Tomb of Dracula books and, if so, did you enjoy them? What are some of your favourite Dracula moments from Marvel Comics? Have you ever read Stoker’s novel, and what are some of your favourite vampire stories? No matter what you think, good or bad, feel free to share your thoughts below, show me some love on Ko-Fi, and check out my other Dracula content.

Back Issues: Hellboy #1-4

Dr. K4 Comments

Story Title: “Seed of Destruction” (Part One to Four)
Published: March 1994 to June 1994
Writers: Mike Mignola and John Byrne
Artist: Mike Mignola

The Background:
Born in Berkeley, California, artist and comic creator Mike Mignola grew up with a fascination of monsters and a love of gothic, Victorian fiction. Mignola started his career as a comic book artist working for The Comic Reader before bringing his trademark dark, moody art style to mainstream publications DC and Marvel Comics. After years of working for hire, Mignola teamed with legendary writer and artist John Byrne for his first creator-owned comic book, Hellboy. Hellboy’s visual appearance evolved over Mignola’s career, beginning as a drawing for the 1991 Great Salt Lake Comic Convention booklet before eventually becoming the “World’s Greatest” gruff and witty paranormal investigator. Hellboy’s adventures began with these four distinctively Lovecraftian, widely successful issues and expanded into a wealth of further comics, spin-offs, and crossovers thanks to Mignola’s unique blend of folklore, horror, and pulp adventure. Hellboy has also seen not inconsiderable success beyond the comic books, featured in a handful of largely mediocre videogames, some well-regarded animated ventures, and some amazingly detailed action figures. Hellboy also made a splash on the big screen, especially in Ron Perlman’s peerless portrayal of the character in Guillermo del Toro’s cult favourite films. While Hellboy’s subsequent silver screen ventures was somewhat divisive, he remains one of the most enduring and visually iconic cult comic characters whose adventures have seen him effortlessly jump between multiple genres.

The Review:
Hellboy’s story begins in 1944 at the tail end of World War Two where a special squad of Army commandos, representatives from the British Paranormal Society, and costumed adventurer Paul Gibney/The Torch of Liberty gather in a remote village in East Bromwich to tackle a lingering Nazi threat known as “Project Ragna Rok”. While First Sergeant George Whitman is sceptical, Professor Malcolm Frost, “paranormal Wiz Kid” Trevor Bruttenholm/Broom, and medium Lady Cynthia Eden-Jones believe that Adolf Hitler’s “spook squad” are experimenting with black magic to raise the dead. Thanks to Broom’s meticulous research and Cynthia’s clairvoyance, the squad learns that maniacal mage Grigori Rasputin is performing a dark ritual powered by a mystical incantation and bizarre equipment, including two hefty gauntlets worn by Rasputin. Although Klaus Werner von Krupt is unimpressed by Rasputin’s light show, Broom and the others are surprised by a sudden burst of supernatural fire and the appearance of a child-like demon. Despite Professor Frost wishing to kill the creature, Broom accidentally names it “Hellboy” and the demon is adopted by the regiment, spending the next thirty-five years being raised by Broom, whom he sees as a surrogate father. Thus, Hellboy is pained to see his mentor aged and struggling with his memory of the “Cavendish expedition”. Thanks to Hellboy’s encouragement, Broom recalls that he accompanied the renowned Cavendish explorers to the ruins of an ancient temple. There, flanked by a statue of the monstrous, cephalopod-like Sadu-Hem, Broom discovered Rasputin in deep hibernation. Barely escaping from or remembering the carnage that followed, Broom summoned Hellboy for aid, only for his adopted son to watch in horror as a plague of frogs herald the arrival of a vicious frog-like monster, which kills Broom and attacks the enraged Hellboy.

When his father is murdered, Hellboy investigates a cursed family and uncovers an apocalyptic threat.

At a disadvantage in the dark, Hellboy is disarmed and wounded by the creature’s caustic tongue, so Hellboy gives the frog-thing a taste of his mysterious, stone-like right hand and sends it crashing into a sarcophagus. When the creature tries to flee, Hellboy puts it down with a single shot from his pistol, stunned when the monster disintegrates. Concerned, Hellboy calls the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (BPRD), receiving condolences from Doctor Thomas “Tom” Manning and ordered to assemble a team to investigate. Hellboy recruits pyrokinetic Elizabeth “Liz” Sherman and fish-man Doctor Abraham “Abe” Sapien to accompany him to the decrepit Cavendish Hall to question Lady Emma Cavendish about her sons. Welcoming their direct questions, Lady Cavendish relates that her family were keen explorers for nine generations and that their fortune was built by Elihu Cavendish, who cursed his bloodline seeking the temple Broom found in the mountains. While she offers them sanctuary, the trip seems to be a dead end and the group are unaware that Rasputin is manipulating Lady Cavendish from the shadows, promising to return her sons for her co-operation. While the group rests, Hellboy’s inner monologue provides some background on Liz and Abe, revealing that Liz accidentally killed her family and several others before mastering her pyrokinesis with the BRPD and Abe was discovered in an abandoned basement of Saint Trinian’s Hospital on the day President Abraham Lincoln died. After Abe and Hellboy ponder Lady Cavendish’s butler, who seems familiar to them, Abe takes to the water to scout around and is horrified when Liz mentions frogs being in her room. Rushing to her aid, Hellboy finds only a smouldering cigarette and the aforementioned butler, who turns out to be a frogman in disguise! While Hellboy fights and ultimately defeats the creature, Abe discovers only “old death” beneath the flooded mansion and Hellboy is distraught to find Lady Cavendish has been killed in the same manner as his father.

Overpowered, Hellboy’s forced to endure Rasputin’s many monologues and rabid boasts.

While mourning the old lady, Hellboy is approached by the enigmatic Rasputin, who takes credit for bringing him into the world and demands he kneel in his presence. When Hellboy naturally declines, he’s suddenly ensnared by a gigantic tentacle and dragged into the darkness to fulfil what Rasputin calls his “destiny”. Hellboy is deposited in a dark, cavernous pool beneath the house, which Rasputin declares is rich with the screams of those sacrificed to the “Serpent”. For eight centuries, mortal men sought to free the unknowable “Seven Beasts”, the Ogdru Jahad, who whispered to Rasputin (through his dreams) the means to release them. Though Rasputin claims to be able to command Hellboy, the demon blasts him in the head with his pistol, only to be sent reeling from an incantation by the seemingly immortal wizard. Stunned, realising the talismans he’s collected over the years have been neutralised, Hellboy opts to stall Rasputin until he can think of a solution. This leads to another long monologue about how Rasputin has constantly evaded death thanks to the Ogdru Jahad, who wish him to cause the apocalypse. Hellboy is then attacked by another, even bigger frogman, one of the Cavendish twins hideously transformed by black magic, and is hopelessly manhandled. While Abe follows the trail left by the other frogmen, the battered Hellboy learns of Rasputin’s travels to Europe, how he researched Ragna Rok and allied with the Nazis to gain the resources to enact the Ogdru Jahad’s plot. Though disheartened after Hitler’s death, Rasputin took solace in knowing he’d summoned Hellboy and was drawn to the temple where, while hibernating, he learned from the Sadu-Hem that the horrific Ogdru Jahad is actually seven creatures imprisoned beyond our understanding and longing to avenge themselves upon the Earth.

Though Hellboy triumphs with some help from his allies, he’s left shaken by Rasputin’s words…

After untold years of planning and preparing, Rasputin prepares to fulfil his master’s wishes using Liz’s raw power, much to Hellboy’s dismay, alongside the restored (and enlarged) Sadu-Hem. While using the enchanted Liz as an unwilling a conduit, Rasputin offers Hellboy the chance to join them in death and destruction, which Hellboy naturally rejects despite being near-paralysed from the frogman’s saliva. As Rasputin begins his incantations, Hellboy forces himself to retrieve a concussion grenade from his belt and stuffs it down the frogman’s throat, obliterating it. Rasputin’s dark magics see the Ogdru Jahad slowly awaken and attack their prison, but his mad plot is suddenly interrupted by Abe, who’s possessed by Elihu’s vengeful spirit and first impales the wizard on a spear before releasing Liz from his grasp, sparking an inferno. As Sadu-Hem and the Cavendish estate erupt in flames, the restored Abe rushes Liz to safety, leaving Hellboy behind as he insists on finishing the wraith-like Rasputin. Despite Rasputin boasting incredible power, Hellboy easily trounces the wizard, rejecting him and his offer to know the truth of his origins and shattering Rasputin with his mighty stone fist. From the ruins of Cavendish Hall, Abe relates his confusion about his possession, which Hellboy believes was the old man’s way of putting things right and avenging the many years of losses suffered by his family. While Liz also doesn’t remember much from her time under Rasputin’s spell, she feels an inexplicable relief at having unleashed her full power for once. Though Abe and Liz show concern for Hellboy, he keeps quiet about Rasputin’s final words and his own doubts about himself, and the story ends with the awakening of Rasputin’s old allies, Ilsa Haupstein, Karl Kroene, and Leopold Kurtz, in an abandoned Nazi laboratory…

The Summary:
I’ll be the first to admit that my primary source of exposure to Hellboy comes from the movies and cartoons. In fact, “Seed of Destruction” is the only Hellboy story I’ve ever read as of this writing, which may or may not be blasphemy. It’s not that I don’t like the character and his world, which has a fun, gothic horror aesthetic that speaks to the Lovecraft fan in me. My hesitancy is largely because of my dislike of Mike Mignola’s art style which, again, is probably sacrilegious. I liken Mignola’s heavy use of shadows and simplistic forms to Frank Miller, who made a career out of exaggerated shadows and sketches. It’s a very eccentric and unique art style, for sure, and don’t get me wrong: it really works for Hellboy. However, it’s just not very visually appealing for me so I tend to veer away from Mignola’s works. That’s a “me” thing, obviously, as like I say the art really adds to this unique comic book world. Mignola clearly has a reverence for horror, gothic architecture, the arcane arts, steampunk-style technology, and Lovecraft, seeping every panel and page in dark, brooding inks, sparingly using bold colours and relying on silhouettes and murky darkness to create a constantly foreboding atmosphere. Mignola’s writing is also far better than a lot of Miller’s, if I’m comparing the two, with Hellboy being a somewhat snarky, eccentric character who’s respectful to Broom and treats his associates with respect but isn’t afraid to talk a bit of trash to his enemies. Hellboy’s inner monologue reveals a half-human creature fully aware of his flaws (his quick temper, rash decisions, and poor marksmanship chief among them), somewhat curious about his true origins, and with fifty-odd years of paranormal investigating under his belt.

While the unique Hellboy makes a visual impression, he’s a largely mysterious figure in his debut.

Unlike the films, where he’s portrayed as an unruly child at times, Hellboy is largely professional here, calling in situations for the BRPD to investigate and largely conducting himself well while at Cavendish Hall. While Liz admonishes his curt demeanour, Lady Cavendish welcomes the discourse and, most notably, shows no fear or panic when met by a literal demon. While it doesn’t play a big role in this story, it’s clear Hellboy and his allies are far more public figures in the comics and have been accepted by society. Interestingly, the only person who shows any fear or suspicion of Hellboy is Professor Frost; everyone else accepts, respects, and shows concern for him. While Hellboy and Liz have a purely platonic relationship here, unlike in the films, he seemingly admires her for overcoming her traumatic past and she asks if he’s okay in the finale, showing they’re more than just colleagues. Hellboy is seen to be closer to Abe, discussing their suspicions and the case, and these three have clearly worked together in the past. Interestingly, Broom is offed very early on and his relationship with Hellboy isn’t as deep as in the movies. Sure, Hellboy thinks of him as a father figure and is seen to be angered by his murder and driven to track down those responsible, but he’s noticeably more blasé about it, even in his inner monologue. Similarly, Hellboy seems to either be not bothered by his true origins or hiding it extremely well, sparing little thought of where he came from and what his true purpose is. Although Rasputin inspires him to think differently about this, the true extent of Hellboy’s origin and purpose is merely alluded to here, with him said to have a part in the end of the world but it’s not clear what that is. Hell, Rasputin doesn’t even use him in his summoning ritual, instead focusing his power through Liz, leaving me with a sense of intrigue regarding Hellboy’s true purpose in the comics.

The horror and Lovecraftian themes are an undeniable highlight in this intriguing introduction.

Indeed, we learn more about the maniacal Rasputin that we do Hellboy, which has its pros and cons. The pros come from maintaining a sense of mystery about Hellboy to be explored in subsequent issues, while the cons come from having to suffer through panels and panels of exposition and monologuing from the depraved mage as he rambles on about his past. It’s somewhat necessary as it shows just how long the Ogdru Jahad have been influencing him and longing for their release, and how many others have tried to free them through less refined rituals and means, but it does get a bit tedious after a while. I liked that the Ogdru Jahad are kept largely mysterious despite Rasputin’s many words, appearing to be interdimensional, alien, demonic, or even divine monsters trapped within a crystalline prison somewhere beyond our comprehension. They establish a foothold on Earth through the equally monstrous Sadu-Hem (a similarly Lovecraftian beast that barely factors into the plot as it just looms there, grabs Hellboy, and then bursts into flames) and Rasputin, who’s revealed to be unnaturally long-lived and partially undead. Wielding incredible arcane magic and having manipulated the Nazis into providing him the resources to summon Hellboy, Rasputin is obsessed with being the linchpin for the apocalypse, delighting in deceiving others into doing his bidding and giddy at the thought of his masters raining destruction upon the Earth (though, again, it’s unclear what role Hellboy would play in this apocalypse). I feel it might’ve been better to have Rasputin merge with Sadu-Hem rather than take Liz hostage, or as well as using her powers, to give a bit more punch to the ending. It was interesting seeing Elihu get his revenge through Abe, but it did mean Abe and Liz played diminished roles in the finale. Still, while this isn’t a perfect story, I enjoyed this introduction to Hellboy, the familiar elements I recognise from the films, and I am interested in reading more of his adventures…I’m just not sure where to go from here.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Were you a fan of Hellboy’s first four issues? Did you pick these up at the time or did you discover Hellboy later, as I did? Do you think I’ve committed blasphemy by criticising Mike Mignola’s art style? What did you think to Hellboy’s appearance and demeanour? Which Hellboy stories are your favourite? Whatever you think about Hellboy, feel free to leave your thoughts below, check out my other horror-related content on the site, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Hellboy stories for me to review.

Movie Night: Terrifier

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 15 May 2018
Director: Damien Leone
Distributor: Epic Pictures Releasing
Budget: $35 to 55 million
Stars: David Howard Thornton, Samantha Scaffidi, Jenna Kanell, Catherine Corcoran, and Matt McAllister

The Plot:
After being creeped out by a lewd, mute clown named Art (Thornton) on Halloween night, Tara Heyes (Kanell) and her best friend, Dawn Emerso (Corcoran), are hounded and brutalised by the sadistic killer.

The Background:
Coulrophobia (or the fear of clowns) is a common trope not just in horror, but in everyday life. Personally, I’ve never found clowns to be scary but the media is full of examples of “Evil Clowns”, with two of the most notable being the Joker and Stephen King’s It. It’s this fear that writer director Damien Leone tapped into when he made his directorial debut with The 9th Circle (2008), a short film that introduced the first prototype of Art the Clown (Mike Giannelli). Though only a supporting character, Art proved popular with audiences and Leone revisited the character in his next short film, Terrifier (2011), and the feature-length anthology All Hallows’ Eve (2013). Afterwards, Leone decided to make an entire film focusing on the character, one that would pay homage not just to slasher film icons and franchises, but to Giallo and splatterpunk cinema. Primarily geared towards showcasing gory, practical effects at the expense of characterisation, Leone put a lot of care into his kill scenes, ensuring Catherine Corcoran’s safety in what became one of the film’s most notorious moments. Seeking to create a truly iconic slasher villain for a new millennium, Leone recast Mike Giannelli as Art the Clown after being impressed by David Howard Thornton’s physical awareness and penchant for improvisation. After premiering at the 2016 Telluride Horror Show, Terrifier released in a handful of cinemas and made a modest profit considering its low budget. Reviews were largely positive, praising the performances and the jaw-dropping gore, However, while Thornton’s portrayal of Art was lauded, some felt the film didn’t quite live up to its potential, a sentiment Leone agreed with and aimed to address in the sequel. Indeed, Terrifier impressed enough not just to earn a critically and commercially successful sequel in 2022, but to kick-off a whole new slasher franchise (for better or worse).

The Review:
Terrifier establishes a few things right from the opening sequence, in which shots of Art applying his makeup and getting dressed for a jaunt on the streets are interspersed with talk show host Monica Brown (Katie Maguire) interviewing a severely disfigured woman. This sets the stage for how creepy and off-kilter Art is; he seemingly purposely adopts a clown-like guise to unsettle his victims and disguise his cruel intentions. These shots of Art getting ready and hauling his bin bag full of tricks echo the opening of A Nightmare on Elm Street (Craven, 1984), a clear influence given the reference to “Craven’s” Halloween supplies and Art’s depiction as a silent version of Freddy Kruger (Robert Englund). Next, this opening establishes that the film isn’t going to be pulling any punches as Monica’s guest is horrendously disfigured after surviving an attack from Art a year previously, to the point where she chooses to isolate since her appearance is so horrifying. Finally, this opening shows that there’s a mean streak in Terrifier that extends beyond its mysterious and silent killer. While Monica appears sympathetic and attentive on-air, she ridicules her guest to her boyfriend after the cameras stop rolling. The embodiment of beauty and drive, Monica arrogantly dismisses her guest’s suffering and expresses disgust and even fear at even being sat with her. Luckily, it turns out Monica was right to be afraid as her guest pounces on her, brutally maiming Monica’s face and cackling like a witch as she lays a bloody, equally disfigured mess on the floor. Therefore, within around ten minutes, we learn everything we need to know about Terrifier: it’s going to be an unsettling spectacle of gore and depravity featuring somewhat unlikeable characters being torn apart in ways that may shock and disgust.

Fun loving Dawn and sensible Tara run afoul of a cruel-hearted and vicious killer clown.

As a long-time horror fan, I’m here for it. I’ve become largely desensitised to a lot of horror and much prefer it when movies don’t hold back. And Terrifier certainly isn’t holding back at times. Unfortunately, it does suffer from an uneven pace and comes across more like an extended proof of concept for what Damien Leone and his instantly iconic killer are capable of. Although the film’s set on Halloween night, the spooky season is primarily used to semi-explain Art’s clown-like appearance. It is the perfect excuse for Tara and Dawn to hit the town and get wasted, however. Clearly long-time friends, these two are an incorrigible duo, teasing each other and having a fun rapport. Dawn is the more promiscuous and reckless of the two, joking about her sexual lusts, drunkenly accosting Mike the Exterminator (McAllister) to let Tara pee, and insisting on a selfie with Art when they spot him leering at them in a pizzeria. While Tara is instantly creeped out by Art, Dawn brushes off her worries and chastises her for being a buzzkill, lamenting that Tara always has to be the “good girl” and overthink things. Rattled by the encounter in the pizzeria, Tara’s anxiety only increases when they find Dawn’s tyres slashed. Luckily, Tara calls her sister, college student Victoria (Scaffidi), who heads out to pick them up, and Tara convinces Mike to let her pee inside the house he’s spraying for rats. Unfortunately, Tara’s concerns about Art catch up to them when he attacks and subdues them both. Strapped and bound to a chair, Tara can only watch helplessly as Dawn is strung upside down and sawed in two from her crotch to her head with a rusty hacksaw! Though Tara shows some fighting spirit and manages to escape and even attack Art, she’s slowed by a severe injury to her ankle and unceremoniously executed by multiple gunshots when Art surprises her with a pistol.

In a film full of underdeveloped characters, Victoria might be the least fleshed out of them all.

Thus, Leone pays homage to Psycho (Hitchcock, 1960) by spending a good half-hour or so building up Tara as the film’s plucky, underdog “Final Girl” only to abruptly kill her off and switch the focus to her sister, Victoria. It takes Victoria some time to reach Tara’s destination and, when she does, she’s too late to help and is distraught to see Dawn’s remains and her sister’s mutilated corpse set up to taunt her. A college student studying for her midterms, Victoria drops everything to help her sister but is extremely out of her depth when confronted by Art, who delights in mocking and tormenting her. When Victoria stumbles upon what she believes is her sister’s injured body, her first thought is to call for help, but she’s horrified when it turns out to be Art in disguise, having ripped the scalp and much of the torso off a deluded resident (Pooya Mohseni). This disturbed but ultimately harmless lady shared a moment with Tara and tried to offer Art a mother’s comfort to spare her baby, a simple child’s doll, only to be left a gory mess. After Art relentlessly shreds her body with a cat-o’nine-tails, Victoria is saved by Mike, who survived a mallet to the face and gets her to safety, finally calling the cops. However, Mike gets his head literally caved in when Art renews his attack, leaving Victoria to desperately try and escape the building and the crazed maniac pursuing her. Although Tara’s characterisation is pretty paper-thin (she’s a fun loving but ultimately sensible young girl), I think it’s a lot better than Victoria’s. We don’t learn much about Victoria except that she’s studying for her midterms (we don’t even know what her major is) and that she’s loyal to her sister. Beyond that, she’s just a vessel to follow and witness and react to Art’s brutality and honestly has less appeal than Tara because at least she was dressed in the Halloween spirit. Horror films, especially slashers, aren’t generally known for their compelling victims but the “Final Girl” is usually more well-rounded and memorable. Sadly, Victoria and her fellow victims are simply window dressing in Art’s first outing, failing to really make much impact until the film’s twist is revealed.

Art’s cruelty and unpredictability make him an especially dangerous and bloodthirsty killer.

Therefore, Terrifier lives and dies through the depiction of its mean-spirited killer. Art barely tries to mask his creepiness, sporting a leering grin, crooked nose, and mangled teeth and setting people on edge simply by walking into a room. To make matters worse, he follows this with some truly disturbing physicality, beaming at Tara with an upsetting sneer and creeping her out by presenting her with a ring. While Steve (Gino Cafarelli) from the pizzeria is aggravated by Art’s nonchalant stare and refusal to speak, he’s incensed to find the clown defecated all over the toilets and throws him out, much to Art’s feigned chagrin. Of course, the slighted Art has the last laugh, hacking Steve’s head off with a hatchet and leaving it burning on the counter like a jack-o-lantern for Steve’s fellow employee (or possible his brother?) Ramone (Erick Zamora) to find. Lugging a bin bag full of hacksaws, knives, ammo, and other implements, Art’s unpredictability is as shocking as his brutality. You never know what weapon he’s going to whip out next or what he’ll do with it, leading to him hacking Ramone’s hand in two with a clever, sawing through and then ripping off another exterminator’s (Michael Leavy) head, and drawing a pistol to repeatedly blast Tara in the face. We learn nothing about Art except that he’s on a killing spree and that he relishes in torturing and maiming his victims. He never utters a single word, not even a cry or breath, though his visible frustration at being out of bullets and his agony when stabbed or beaten is clear thanks to Thornton’s masterful physical performance. What really seals it, however, is that Art will silent cackle when assaulting his victims, toying with them and mocking their suffering while delighting in the arterial spray and steaming organs spilling to the floor. At one point, it seems Art is subdued by a mother’s touch, however this proves only a temporary reprieve and Art is truly depicted as a chaotic force without mercy who tortures and kills for the sheer fun of it.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I can respect this approach. Although horror is full of iconic killers, many lose much of their mystique when too much of their backstory is revealed, humanising them and making them sympathetic. There is absolutely nothing sympathetic about Art, who gleefully mocks his prey, smears his faeces over walls, and chortles manically (but silently) when sawing Dawn in half. Still, there’s something to be said about giving some hint about who Art is and what drives him. He’s clearly mortal, since he bleeds and reacts to pain, and clearly a nomad, holing up in whatever filthy squalor he finds and seemingly targeting people at random. He’s capable of anger, since he flips Victoria off when she stabs him and spitefully maims anyone who dares to fight back. He also appears inhumanly strong, taking a beating from Tara and manhandling his victims at times. Despite appearing a very childish and immature figure, Art is cold, calculating, and vindictive, slashing Dawn’s tyres and drugging Tara and even texting Victoria to lure her into the building. Consequently, Terrifier presents what little narrative it has as a series of random and shocking events that could’ve happened to anyone. This is where the film’s true horror lies as while Art’s murderous acts are enough to traumatised unsuspecting audiences, they’re so over the top that they’re less scary and more disgusting. While none of the actors give particularly stirring or award-winning performances, they’re depicted as normal, everyday folk who unwittingly attract a depraved serial killer and I think the random nature of this is far more (dare I say it…) terrifying than all the hacksaws and knives. The idea that you, or anyone, could just be walking the streets and be set upon by such a crazed maniac is unsettling, to say the least, and Art only serves to heighten this fear by brutalising his victims in ways that would make Ed Gein blush.

Terrifier supplants characterisation with shocking splattergore and unapologetic brutality.

Yes, you shouldn’t really go into Terrifier expecting some game-changing plot or emotionally charged characters. I like the three female leads but there isn’t much to them and, let’s not mince words, it’s clear that Terrifier is simply an excuse to show off incredible and revolting gore and unsettling practical effects. Things start strong with Monica’s host appearing more like a mincemeat skeleton than a person, sporting an emaciated grin and one barely functional eye. She leaves Monica in an even worse state, clawing at her face and leaving her a gibbering mess of bloody, meaty chunks, and Tara is repeatedly stabbed in the ankle, hobbling her to keep her from running at full speed. While we only see Steve’s burning head, we get to watch Art hack up Ramone on the pizzeria floor and see in gory detail when he crushes Mike’s had under his heel. Tara’s death is easily the film’s weakest and least creative kill, but there’s something shocking about the cold-hearted nature of her being mercilessly shot to death. The other exterminator, Will, gets a more spectacular end as he’s stabbed in the skull before he can even react and then has his head partially sawn off before Art nonchalantly kicks it away. The doll-pampering resident pays for her kindness by getting scalped and having most of her skin torn off; Art then parades around in her flesh, clearly enjoying his new look. However, it’s Dawn’s death that’s the showstopper. Strung upside down by chains and hanging completely nude, she’s sawn in half and we (like Tara) are forced to watch as her guts spill to the floor and Art silently cackles maniacally. It’s a truly sadistic and brutal moment made more uncomfortable by where he starts sawing, and the sheer shock of the sequence is enough to keep you from questioning how a simple hacksaw easily cuts through flesh, bone, and muscle.

Art somehow reanimates after blowing his brains out and Victoria’s left a mangled mess.

Although Tara fights back, she lets rage cloud her judgement and is caught off-guard when Art pulls out a pistol, leaving her writhing helplessly on the floor as he blasts her face full of bullets. When Victoria arrives, she discovers a full-blown massacre, with bodies strewn everywhere and Art relentlessly pursuing her. Unprepared and overwhelmed, the grief-stricken Victoria can only run, scream, and cower as Art targets her next. Though she exhibits some of the same fighting spirit as her sister, Victoria’s ultimately more reliant on Mike to help fend off the psychotic clown. Unfortunately, Art quickly recovers from Mike’s attack, kicking and finally crushing Mike’s skull with his oversized clown shoes. Victoria manages to squeeze through a locked door to safety, only to be mercilessly taunted by Art as he swipes at her and blows a clown horn in her face. Although she appears to have escaped him, Victoria is blindsided when Art suddenly drives Mike’s van through the doors and into her, knocking her unconscious. Luckily, Mike got through to the cops and a couple of officers (Jason Leavy and Steven Della Salla) show up to apprehend Art. Clearly frustrated at being interrupted, Art toys with the cops and then whips out his gun. However, rather than fire at the cops, he instead shoots himself in the head rather than be arrested. Art’s mangled body and those of his victims are then bagged and taken to the county coroner, Seth Bolton (Cory Duval), who begrudgingly agrees to process the corpses in return for a bacon sandwich. However, after unzipping Art’s body bag, Seth’s perplexed by a sudden and mysterious power outage. Though he shrugs it off, he’s horrified when Art suddenly springs to life, a disgusting grin on his face, and starts choking him. This cliff-hanger ending then cuts to a hospital, where Victoria was taken after surviving Art’s assault. Unfortunately, Art decided to eat her face, leaving her with a mangled and hideously disfigured visage and revealing that she was the mutilated guest who attacked Monica at the start of the film…!

The Summary:
Terrifier is, perhaps, the most notable independent horror of the last ten years. Shot and styled very much like a “Grindhouse” picture, the film wears its influences on its sleave and is very much a celebration of the splatterpunk and slasher genres. While this is a positive, it also works against it, particularly in the characterisation of its leads. Damien Leone has since stated dissatisfaction with these elements and I’m forced to agree. While I didn’t mind Tara, Victoria was essentially a blank slate and many performances were questionable, at best. It’s irrelevant, in many ways, however, since Terrifier is just an excuse to show off some depraved gore and showcase its sadistic serial killer. Accordingly, it’s no surprise that David Howard Thornton steals the show as he throws his all into Art, embodying the character with manic glee and showcasing a range of emotions simply through body language and facial expression. Art’s unlike many horror icons as he’s silent but entirely expressive, cruel and vicious and yet wholly unpredictable and spontaneous. His entire visage is his gimmick rather than any one weapon and he kills simply for the thrill, and the mindlessness of his character and actions add not only to Terrifier’s allure and mystery, but its horror. It’s increasingly all-too-easy to imagine some sick fuck stalking the streets, accosting young women and engaging in deplorable acts and the random nature of Art’s killing spree is just as unsettling as his gore-drenched kills. And damn, does Terrifier deliver on the gore! Leone’s twisted imagination is a joy to see; even if the effects stretch the limits of physics and logic at times, it all comes together as a celebration of the genre. However, I do feel Terrifier was lacking in some regards that keep it from being a true classic. It certainly gave the genre a kick up the ass and it’s worth a watch, but Terrifier views more as an extended pitch for a bigger, more refined movie, especially in retrospect having seen the sequels. I’m therefore not as impressed or awed by the film as I would like as it’s lacking in some basic filmmaking areas, resulting in a special effects and physical acting showcase whose soul appeal are the disturbing gore and instantly iconic serial killer.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you get a kick out of Terrifier? What did you think to Art and David Howard Thornton’s performance? Were you also disappointed that his victims were largely forgettable? Did the gore make up for these moments or did you find it a bit too depraved and over the top? If not, which of Art’s sickening acts was your favourite and what did you think to these effects? Would you have liked to learn more about Art or do you think it’s better he stayed mysterious? Which of the Terrifier films is your favourite and how are you celebrating horror this month? Share your thoughts about Terrifier down in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and go check out my other horror content!

Movie Night [00-Heaven]: Dr. No

Dr. K1 Comment

To celebrate the release of this movie, the first of many filmic outings for James Bond, October 5th is officially recognised as “Global James Bond Day”. Today, 007 is one of the most recognised and popular movie icons of all time so I’m dedicating some time to revisiting some firsts in the long-running franchise.

Released: 5 October 1962
Director: Terence Young
Distributor: United Artists
Budget: $1.1 million
Stars: Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, Jack Lord, John Kitzmiller, and Ursula Andress

The Plot:
After an MI6 liaison is murdered in Jamaica, suave spy James Bond/007 (Connery) discovers a plot by malformed mad scientist Doctor Julius No (Wiseman) to disrupt an American rocket on behalf of the Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion (SPECTRE).

The Background:
Super spy James Bond was the brainchild of writer Ian Fleming in 1953, heavily inspired by Fleming’s years as a Navy intelligence officer. 007 first came to life not through Sean Connery’s immortal and iconic performance or even the bizarre comedy loosely based on Fleming’s first Bond book, but a one-hour CBS television adaptation of that same book that was heavily altered for American audiences. Bond was next adapted into a South African radio drama in 1958 and Fleming’s books became a long-running series of comic strips starting in 1957, before Casino Royale (1953) finally came to the big screen in 1967 after years of Development Hell and rights disputes. Though initially reluctant, Fleming eventually sold the rights to all his Bond novels (except Casino Royale and, most infamously, 1961’s Thunderball) to producer Harry Saltzman. Saltzman partnered with Albert R. “Cubby” Broccoli to spearhead an adaptation of the 1958 novel of the same name, bringing in director Terence Young to define the onscreen portrayal of the super spy for decades to come. Though hampered by a paltry budget, Young chose to innovate and spend what little money had had wisely, while the script included many alterations from the source material, including painting Dr. No as an agent of SPECTRE. While the producers initially envisioned Cary Grant as Bond, Richard Johnson claimed to have been tapped for the role, and Rod Taylor rejected the pitch, former bodybuilder Sean Connery impressed with his devil-may-care attitude and cemented his career (for better or worse) with his now-iconic performance. Although Dr. No received a mixed reaction at the time, it proved a box office success that kick-started a cinematic franchise, with each subsequent film out-performing the last at the box office. In the years since its release, Dr. No has been critically re-evaluated in a more positive light, with the film named as one of the top 100 British films of all time and praised for delivering some of the most memorable moments in the series.

The Review:
I think it’s only fair to start off by admitting that I’ve never been a fan of Dr. No. While it’s easy to explain away a lot of its flaws by pointing to the era it was made and it being the first of a series, so many of the recognisable Bond elements hadn’t been refined yet (even if they make their debut here), I’ve just never been a fan of the pacing and plot. Indeed, one thing I often joke about is that, even now, I don’t really know what Dr. No is about or what the titular mad scientist is  after. Therefore, I went into this viewing really trying to pay attention and grasp what the plot was and what was happening. Surprisingly, Dr. No’s stakes are surprisingly low; the world isn’t at stake here. In fact, no nations, cities, or lives seem to be at risk at all, save those who venture to Dr. No’s private island, Crab Key, uninvited or those who stand in his way. The film’s events kick off when John Strangways (Timothy Moxon/Robert Rietti), a keen fisherman, poker player, and head of MI6’s Kingston station, and his secretary, Mary Trueblood (Dolores Keator), are murdered by, of all things, three assassins posing as blind beggars. After a few hours trying to re-establish contact with Strangways, the cantankerous and officious head of MI6, “M” (Bernard Lee), pulls Bond from a game of Baccarat and orders him to find out what happened, advising him to liaise with his Central Intelligence Agency (C.I.A.) counterpart, Felix Leiter (Lord), and to not waste any time. Though Bond happily takes the assignment, he drags his feet a little by flirting with M’s secretary, Miss Moneypenny (Lois Maxwell), and hooking up with the alluring Sylvia Trench (Eunice Gayson), firmly establishing that, while Bond is loyal to King and Country, he’s got a soft (well, more accurately a hard) spot for the ladies and the finer things in life, such as a good smoke and a stiff drink.

While Connery mesmerises as Bond, 007’s painfully mundane in his first outing.

Sean Connery immediately embodies the now-world famous super spy with a relaxed, confident poise and charm. He greets every situation, even admonishments from M, with a wry smile and a biting wit, seemingly fearless and maintaining his composure even when he’s being followed or clearly duped by enemy agents. While this is Bond’s first screen outing, it’s clearly not his first assignment as he’s been licensed to kill for some time (though M’s dialogue suggests Bond may only be a year or so into this career as a 00 agent) and is generally hyper aware of his surroundings. Even when he’s welcomed by Chief Secretary Pleydell-Smith (Louis Blaazer) and given lodgings at Government House, Bond checks for bugs and preps his room to alert him to intruders. Unlike later Bond movies, 007 is rather ill-equipped; Major Boothroyd (Peter Burton) simply furnishes him with the standard issue Walther PPK in place of his unreliable Beretta M1934 and that’s it. Not that Bond really needs any gadgets here, just a rental car and a working telephone suffice for most of the film. Bond’s first official big screen adventure is much more of an investigative thriller than anything else. Bond wanders about Kingston meeting with those who knew or saw Strangways last, piecing together what happened, knocking back vodka martinis (“Shaken, not stirred”) and other vices as he goes. After a brief misunderstanding, Bond meets with Leiter, visits a few more locations, and eventually suspects Professor R. J. Dent (Anthony Dawson), a geologist and one of the last people to see Strangways alive. Bond’s investigation alerts him to Crab Key, a forbidden island owned by the mysterious Dr. No, which Strangways regularly visited. It’s all very mundane and dull, sadly, with only Connery’s magnetic screen presence holding my interest as Bond simply stumbles upon breadcrumbs to discover that Dr. No obviously had something to do with Strangways disappearing.

Sadly, scene-staler Quarrel meets a toasty end when he insists on aiding Bond.

Bond’s eventually aided by Leiter, though Felix at first suspects 007 of being corrupt since Bond willingly allows obvious enemy plants to drive him around and lure him into bed. Bond does this in hopes of questioning and/or boning said agents, though his investigation is often frustrated since many of his would-be assassins choose death by cyanide over talking. Leiter reveals that he worked closely with Strangways to discover the source of a radio jamming signal that has been disrupting America’s space exploration rockets. Leiter’s also instrumental in cooling tensions between Bond and Quarrel (Kitzmiller), a Cayman Islander whose boat Strangways took to Crab Key and collect samples. Initially giving Bond the brushoff, Quarrel confronts him and knifepoint and the two scuffle until Leiter intervenes and they all get on the same page. While Leiter isn’t that interesting, simply being a friendly face to give Bond some intel and call out his womanising ways, Quarrel is quite an enjoyable addition, being an upbeat and friendly seaman who affectionately calls Bond “Cap’n”. Rather than rely on sea chats or coordinates, Quarrel follows his instincts but is extremely hesitant to go to Crab Key due to rumours of a fire-breathing “dragon” dwelling there. While Bond initially gives Quarrel the option of staying behind, his patience with these stories grows thin, especially when they bump into the beautiful Honey Ryder (Andress) and she echoes Quarrel’s fears. Still, Quarrel proves useful to Bond’s investigation and subdues Annabel Chung (Marguerite LeWars) when she spies on the trio. Bond seems genuinely distraught when Quarrel meets his horrifying (and ridiculously abrupt) end at the hands of Dr. No’s “dragon” (an armoured tank with a flamethrower) and adds the seaman’s name to the list of people he wishes to avenge.

Dr. No is sadly absent for most of the film and his scheme is very vaguely defined.

As if Dr. No wasn’t disappointing enough, the titular scientist is quite a letdown as well. Like Honey, Dr. No doesn’t fully appear until the final act, which is pretty incredible considering his unique affliction and his admittedly captivating screen presence. While I appreciate the fear and awe given to Dr. No throughout the film, with the locals scared of Crab Key and Dent terrified of his master’s reprisals, I think the film suffers from not including him at least once before Bond reaches Crab Key. A mysterious and isolated figure, Dr. No initially appears as a disembodied voice reprimanding Dent and ordering him to kill Bond using a tarantula (an effective means, to be sure!) Dr. No has agents all over Kingston, it seems, with him sending a driver (Reginald Carter) to try and kill Bond soon after he lands, placing Miss Taro (Zena Marshall) as a double agent, and employing some goons to try and run Bond off the road. Despite Dr. No voicing an explicit desire to have Bond killed, he does a complete 180 once Bond arrives on Crab Key. His loyal soldiers give Bond, Quarrel, and Honey multiple chances to surrender peaceful and end up roasting Quarrel alive when they disobey, but Dr. No treats Bond and Honey as distinguished guests and has them decontaminated and confined to a room that’s more deluxe suite than a dungeon. Dr. No is impressed by Bond’s repeated interference (even though I’m not sure what Bond did to cost him time and money…) and believes him an intellectual equal, only to be angered by Bond’s dismissive and condescending attitude. Although Dr. No claims his genius is as formidable as his physical strength thanks to his painfully limited artificial hands, he’s clearly a madman. So much so that neither the East or the West wished to employ his services and even SPECTRE seems somewhat embarrassed by him. This could be because Dr. No uses his vast and overly complicated nuclear-powered facility to disrupt Cape Canaveral simply for his own self-gratification as he issues no threats and demands no ransom, seemingly embodying only the “Revenge” aspect of SPECTRE as he wishes to prove himself superior to those who mocked and dismissed him.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Dr. No is obviously the blueprint which all future Bond movies were based, establishing many of the tropes, elements, and recurring themes for the series. Accordingly, we get out first gun barrel sequence (with stuntman Bob Simmons as Bond), first utterance of “Bond… James Bond”, and our first title sequence (though there’s no cold open here). Unfortunately, Dr. No fails to impress with its opening titles, which are simply a mess of colours, dancing girls, and “007” plastered over the screen while Monty Norman’s “James Bond Theme” blares. Bond’s iconic overture oddly crops up when he’s doing such exciting tasks as… walking, searching his room, or using the telephone. Rather than have an artist or group write a unique song for the film as would later become a key component of the franchise, Dr. No repeatedly falls back on renditions of “Under the Mango Tree”, a tune I’d happily never have to listen to again after sitting through this snore fest. The basic frameworks of future Bond films are established here, however, meaning it’s perfectly natural for M to simply show up to give Bond his mission and Miss Moneypenny to give Bond someone to flirt with in MI6 headquarters. Long-time Bond fans may be surprised that Desmond Llewelyn isn’t playing “Q” here (though Major Boothroyd is the same character). Consequently, there’s no visit to Q-Branch, no Aston Martin, and Bond’s even light on the quips, only dropping a couple of deadpan comments after outwitting his would-be assassins. Bond is a largely apathetic character, seemingly bored with the routine aspects of his job and preferring to be in the field, where he does his own thing regardless of his orders. This sees him getting a dressing down for carrying a Berretta and taking many detours in his investigation to get his end away or have a drink or smoke. Indeed, both M and Leiter comment on Bond’s lackadaisical attitude, though his methods always return to his primary mission one way or another.

While Bond’s women are attractive, it would’ve been nice to expand Honey’s role.

Despite getting second billing alongside Sean Connery, Ursula Andress only appears in the third act and has such a small role that it’s barely worth discussing. Of course, she makes a lasting impression on both audiences and Bond with her dramatic emergence from the sea, clad in a sultry bikini and inspecting her coveted seashells, but it might’ve been nice to include her a bit sooner to break up the monotony of watching Bond mingle around rooms. Though initially appearing naïve and almost childlike in her demeanour, Honey’s actually a well-travelled young lady, an accomplished diver, and has experienced by heartache (she believes Dr. No murdered her father) and strife. As a child, she was sexually assaulted (or possibly raped) and took her revenge by killing her attacker with a black widow spider (though oddly reacts in horror when Bond offs one of Dr. No’s henchmen). Still, she plays basically no role in the finale, with Bond successfully convincing Dr. No to send her away for their parlay and is simply there to have a pretty face onscreen at the tail end of the film. She’s nice on the eyes, for sure, and somewhat aids Bond with her familiarity with Crab Key, but her demeanour is a bit odd and it’s difficult to really care that much about her since she appears so late in the film. Similarly, while Sylvia gets a lot of play at the start of the film, she’s simply an attractive Baccarat player Bond seduces with his card game rather than an undercover SPECTRE agent like Miss Taro, Pleydell-Smith’s secretary. Indeed, it’s possible Sylvia and Taro would’ve been combined into one character in a later Bond film (and, truthfully, that would’ve made more sense here) to give Bond a tertiary threat while playing detective. Though she acts coy about listening into Bond’s meeting and the conveniently missing files on Dr. No, Miss Taro tries to lure Bond into a trap and then uses her body to distract him, only for him to effortlessly see through her ruse and simply use her for his own gratification (and to lure Dent into outing himself as another of Dr. No’s agents).

While I’m still not sure what Dr. No’s endgame was, he’s ultimately foiled by Bond.

After knobbing around Kingston for a few days, dodging death every other night and following leads on Strangways, Bond becomes very suspicious of Crab Key and its mysterious Dr. No. After using Miss Taro and easily fooling Dent, Bond decides he has enough evidence to visit Crab Key, convincing Quarrel to give him a lift and having Leiter on standby with the Marines. After Quarrel’s killed, Bond and Honey are welcomed as Dr. No’s distinguished guests, furnished with a luxurious room, drugged coffee, and a fine dinner. Dr. No’s patience and reverence for Bond quickly grows thin when 007 insults him and refuses to join SPECTRE, however, leading to Bond being beaten and tossed into a cell. Despite the electrified grate, and his injuries, Bond easily escapes through the facility’s massive ventilation shafts, kills one of Dr. No’s technicians (Anthony Chinn), and assumes his role in the control room. There, himself and his underlings protected from the radiation that cost him his hands, Dr. No directs a test on his nuclear reactor, apparently to disrupt America’s latest rocket launch. Despite his genius, Dr. No’s so distracted by his monitors that he fails to notice Bond overloading the reactor until its too late. With the facility in meltdown and his minions fleeing for their lives, Dr. No awkwardly confronts Bond on the gantry. Rather than treating us to a slugfest where the underdog 007 must use his wit and wiles to compensate for the crushing power of Dr. No’s prosthetic hands as the environment goes up in flames around them, this final battle is merely a clumsy scuffle on a small platform descending into a cool pool and Dr. No’s superior strength fails him as his crappy plastic hands can’t grip for shit. With everyone more concerned with escaping, Bond easily convinces Dr. No’s panicked employees to point him in Honey’s direction, and he rescues her from…being slowly drowned, I guess? The two then commandeer a convenient boat and drift away from Crab Key just as Dr. No’s facility explodes, ending whatever vague threat he posed. Though Leiter comes by to tug the two to safety, Bond opts to release his line so he and Honey can canoodle in their boat during the credits.

The Summary:
I was honestly dreading watching Dr. No again as, like I say, I’ve never been a fan of it. I want to respect it for laying the foundation for one of my favourite cinematic franchises, and that (alongside Sean Connery’s magnetic performance) is what gives it its second star, but this is always a tough watch for me. There’s so much working against it, from the dull opening titles, the Bond theme blaring in the most mundane scenes, and the dull focus on Bond’s investigation rather than action, women, or suspense. I understand that this was a different time and there was only so much the filmmakers could do (painfully obvious during Bond’s big car chase…), and that Dr. No is more of an investigative thriller than a bombastic action movie, but my lord is this painfully slow to watch. Bond meanders from scene to scene, easily piecing together clues when you’d think Dr. No would want to cover his tracks, and happy to waste his time bedding and toying with Dr. No’s obvious agents rather than getting to business. Dr. No is painfully absent throughout, meaning his motivations and character are poorly developed, to say the least. SPECTRE is little more than a name drop, Dr. No is simply a maniacal cripple childishly lashing out at a world that rejected him, and his plan is painfully ill defined. I still have no idea what the stakes are or why I should care about Dr. No’s plot when he makes no demands and seems to just be messing with America for shits and giggles, and we’re even robbed of him matching wits (and brawn) with Bond since Dr. No prefers to let his underlings or spiders do the work rather than just bloody shoot him! Ursula Andress may be gorgeous and have captivated a generation, but Honey Ryder shows up far too late to be that interesting. Had she been featured throughout, or perhaps been Dr. No’s unwilling concubine, then maybe I would care but, as is, she’s just kind of there. Sean Connery, Joseph Wiseman, and John Kitzmiller are the stars of this show but even they can’t keep me from tuning out every time I watch Dr. No and I’m honestly surprised we got a Bond franchise after this tedious slog of a movie.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Am I being too harsh on Dr. No? Where would you rank it against the other James Bond films? Were you impressed by Sean Connery’s first outing as 007? What did you think to the focus on his investigation and the film’s slower pace? Do you agree that Dr. No and Honey Ryder should’ve shown up sooner? Were you disappointed when Quarrel got roasted? Can you tell me what Dr. No’s plan was, because I still don’t know… Which Bond actor, film, story, villain, or moment is your favourite? How are you celebrating Global James Bond Day today? Whatever your thoughts on Dr. No, or James Bond in general, leave a comment below, check out my other James Bond reviews, and suggest some 007 content you’d like me to cover by donating to my Ko-Fi.

Wrestling Recap: Kane vs. Austin (King of the Ring ’98)

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The Date: 28 June 1998
The Venue:  Civic Arena; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
The Commentary: Jim “J.R.” Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler
The Referee: Earl Hebner
The Stakes: First blood match for the WWF Championship and Kane’s life!

The Build-Up:
The day after my twelfth birthday (and clashing with Global James Bond Day), on October 5th 1997, Glenn Jacobs made a dramatic debut as Kane, the scarred, monstrous younger half-brother of the Undertaker. Following this, Kane ran wild throughout the then-World Wrestling Federation (WWF), attacking everyone in a bid to force his reluctant brother to face him in the ring. Eventually, the Undertaker acquiesced, leading to two defeats for the Big Red Machine. However, on 1 June 1998, Kane defeated the Undertaker on Raw is War to become the number one contender to the WWF Championship, the company’s top prize, which was held by the phenomenonal “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. At the time, Austin was embroiled with an industry-defining feud with WWF Chairman Vince McMahon, refusing to confirm to Vince’s demands and openly defying the chairman’s authority with a brazen attitude. After repeatedly fending off Vince’s misguided stooge, Dude Love, Austin faced a physical threat like no other when Kane challenged him to this “First Blood” match. Speaking for the first time via a voice modulator, Kane drenched Austin with a blood bath and raised the stakes of the match by promising to immolate himself if he didn’t win the title!

The Match:
I think Kane said it best when he once stated that few people remember him winning the WWF Championship on this night thanks to the absolute war the Undertaker and Mankind enacted in the previous match! They didn’t even put a match between the Hell in a Cell and the main event to cool the audience down! I always remember it, though, since I was such a huge Kane fan back in the day and it saw him capture the WWF’s biggest prize from their most successful superstar, and all so soon after his initial debut. Proving that he isn’t some muscle-bound meathead, Kane sported a new attire for this match that completely covered every part of his body, making it seem all-but impossible that any trace of blood could be detected by the referee. Austin fearlessly stormed to the ring, his right arm heavily bandaged following a staph infection, and immediately hit his signature Lou Thesz Press and running elbow drop. Austin then clobbered Kane with the championship belt and removed a turnbuckle pad, though neither man could take advantage of the exposed bolt. Kane quickly ended Austin’s onslaught with some powerful strikes and chokes, shrugging off Austin’s blows but failing to hit the Tombstone Piledriver and being pushed outside. As they brawled around the ring, Austin bounced Kane’s face off the ring steps and the Hell in a Cell started to lower, much to J.R.’s anger. After whipping Austin into the steel steps, Kane ran him into the lowering cage and tried to crush Austin under the cell as it locked into position. Austin’s face bounced off the cage once more and J.R. quickly explained that the minor scratch on the Rattlesnake’s back wouldn’t count towards the match stipulation, allowing Kane’s decimation of the champion to continue. Austin began a comeback by ramming Kane’s head into the cell door, leading to Kane being lifted off the ground when the cage inexplicably rose! After a nasty tumble, Kane was repeatedly rammed into the security guardrail and walked up the entrance ramp, only for Austin to take an ugly back body drop to the concrete and a suplex on the rampway.

Despite a dominating performance, Kane didn’t look like a winner by the end of this mediocre match.

Kane smashed Austin’s head off a light and tossed a security railing at his head as McMahon watched anxiously from his luxury skybox. Austin brought the action back to the ring and finally bashed Kane’s head off that exposed ring bolt, choking him on the ropes and then taking him back outside to smash him over the head with an electrical fan. A touch more brawling led to Earl Hebner being taken out when Kane choke-tossed Austin at the railing. Kane then nailed his Diving Clothesline, though Austin countered a second attempt and stomped on Kane in the corner. This led to Mankind (somehow still not dead) inexplicably running in with a steel chair, though he never got a chance to use it as Austin quickly fought him off and planted him with a Stone Cold Stunner. This distraction allowed Kane to recover, though Austin booted Kane in the balls when he went for a Chokeslam and blasted him with a Stone Cold Stunner as well. J.R. just about had a coronary when the Undertaker came limping out to swing a steel chair at Mankind, but blasted Austin when Foley dodged the shot. The Undertaker clobbered Kane and Mankind and manhandled the referee back into the ring, reviving him with one of the gasoline cans, only to be smacked from behind by Kane. Austin frantically fought Kane off and damn near took his head off with a chair shot, but it was ultimately academic as Austin was bleeding profusely from the Undertaker’s chair shot! Thus, the unconscious Kane was declared the winner and a stunned, bloody Austin was left arguing with the referee. It would’ve been tough for any match to top the Hell in a Cell that preceded this one, but this match lacked a lot of energy. It told a good story of Austin being physically dominated by Kane, who clearly had the upper hand and allowed Austin to be a scrappy underdog, but there wasn’t much to this one. The ending has always irked me as it seemed like the Undertaker didn’t mean to hit Austin, yet he revived the referee to help Kane win, despite the two still attacking each other. Kane also looked pretty weak in the end as he was flat on his back when he was announced as the winner.

The Aftermath:
While many people might remember King of the Ring 1998 more for the brutal Hell in a Cell match, a greater and far less impressive footnote came out of the match as Austin confronted Kane over his tainted victory the very next night on Raw is War, challenging him to be a man and grant him a rematch. Austin won the match, regaining the championship and ending Kane’s title reign at around twenty-four hours, and all because the WWF had booked themselves into a corner with the ludicrous immolation stipulation! Still, Kane and Austin continued to feud into July, where the Undertaker and Austin defeated Kane and Mankind to become WWF Tag Team Champions. After defeating the Undertaker at SummerSlam, Austin was pinned by both Brothers of Destruction at Breakdown: In Your House, leading to the title being vacated and Austin being fired at Judgment Day: In Your House when he referred a match between the two and it ended in a no contest. This led to the infamous “Deadly Game” tournament at Survivor Series, where the Rock captured his first WWF Championship and the escalation of Austin’s war with the McMahons. As for Kane, it would take ten years for him to win another World Championship when he captured the revived Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) title at WrestleMania XXIV, and twelve years before he became a WWE Champion again, with him finally besting his brother in a heated rivalry over the World Heavyweight Championship at the 2010 Bragging Rights event.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Kane’s anti-climactic title win at King of the Ring 1998? Were you surprised when Kane won or did you really think he was going to set himself on fire? Do you think it was a mistake to air this match after the Hell in the Cell match? What did you think to Kane dropping the title the very next night? How are you celebrating Kane’s debut this year? What are some of your favourite matches and moments from Kane’s long and complex career? Whatever your thoughts, drop a comment below to let me know what you think about Kane, and go support me on Ko-Fi.