Author: Dr. K

Movie Night [Sci-Fanuary]: Judge Dredd

Dr. K3 Comments

January sees the celebration of two notable dates in science-fiction history, with January 2 christened “National Science Fiction Day” to coincide with the birth date of the world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and HAL 9000, the sophisticated artificial intelligence of Arthur C. Clarke’s seminal 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), being created on 12 January. This year, however, I’m spending every Thursday of January celebrating sci-fi’s toughest lawman, Judge Joseph Dredd!

Released: 30 June 1995
Director: Danny Cannon
Distributor: Buena Vista Pictures / Cinergi Productions
Budget: $85 to 90 million
Stars: Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Diane Lane, Rob Schneider, Jürgen Prochnow, and Max von Sydow

The Plot:
In the year 2080, the world has become a scorched wasteland and the Judges enforce martial law in the overpopulated Mega-Cities and Mega-City One’s most efficient and decorated officer, Judge Joseph Dredd (Stallone), is framed for murder by his own half-brother, the psychotic Rico (Asante), who plots to usurp the oppressive regime with an army of superhuman clones. 

The Background:
It was thanks to British science-fiction comic book 2000 AD and the work of John Wagner, Carlos Ezquerra, and Pat Mills that readers were introduced to Judge Joseph Dredd in March 1977, a tough-as-nails lawman known for his extreme political satire. Dredd’s subsequent popularity meant that Hollywood soon came calling, and long-time fan Danny Cannon pursued the project with a passion, even turning down the chance to helm Die Hard with a Vengeance (McTiernan, 1995) in favour of this adaptation. Although development stalled somewhat thanks to the similarly-themed action/sci-fi satire RoboCop (Verhoeven, 1987), production soon got underway once Sylvester Stallone was cast in the title role, beating out his action movie rival Arnold Schwarzenegger despite being unfamiliar with the character. The filmmakers looked to Blade Runner (Scott, 19982), to bring the sprawling Mega-City One to life and rejected designs from famed fashion mogul Gianni Versace for the film’s costumes. Initially shot to be an R-rated feature with a darker, satirical bent, Cannon clashed with Stallone over the direction of the film and was left so disappointed with the star’s insistence towards comedy that he vowed never to work with the Italian Stallion again. This was largely reflected in subsequent reviews, which criticised the film’s confused tone and disappointing production. While the visual appeal of the film has been praised, Stallone’s performance was not; the tie-in videogame was also a disappointment and a box office gross of under $115 million made the film a commercial flop. Both Stallone and Dredd co-creator John Wagner expressed disappointment with the film and it would take nearly twenty years for the character to return to cinema screens.

The Review:
As I mentioned in my review of Judge Dredd’s debut story, I’ve been a big fan of the character since I was a teenager, largely because of my dad. I was always ore drawn towards Dredd’s clashes against the Dark Judges and his more momentous storylines, such as “The Cursed Earth” (Mills, et al, 1978), “The Day the Law Died” (Wagner, et al,1978 to 1979), and “The Judge Child” (ibid, 1980), which is fitting since Judge Dredd draws several influences from these stories for its core narrative. I was just the right age for Judge Dredd; while I was regularly enjoying violent sci-fi romps like RoboCop, I also enjoyed colourful, action-packed sci-fi comedies like Demolition Man (Marco Brambilla, 1993), so my expectations for the film were simply to enjoy seeing a stern lawman of the future kicking ass in a visually entertaining environment. This means I have a certain level of nostalgia for the film; it was, after all, the only live-action Judge Dredd movie available for decades and it’s not as if the character had a more violent animated series to fall back on. At the time, if you wanted Judge Dredd, it was either this, the comics, or a handful of videogames, but that doesn’t mean that my opinion of the film hasn’t changed as I’ve gotten older and come to appreciate the subtle dark comedy and violent nature of the source material. It’s a shame as well since Judge Dredd gets off to a good start (it’s always a plus when James Earl Jones provides an opening narration) and has more positives in it than a lot of people like to acknowledge, but it fumbles on some of the most basic characterisations of its title character in order to appeal to a wider, more mainstream audience.

Hard-nosed Dredd is framed for murder and forced to confront his psychotic brother.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand this. R-rated movies like RoboCop might kick all the ass but they’re a bit of a risk for producers and investors, especially when it comes to comic book properties and especially back in 1993, when many superheroes where being bastardised commercialised for maximum profit. Thus, Judge Dredd, the straight-laced, grim-faced, by-the-book lawman of the future who is just as likely to prosecute innocent bystanders to nail a perp, is transformed from a tough, no-nonsense future cop into a more heroic figure over the course of the movie. Dredd starts out as a pragmatic and uncompromising officer; he shows no fear, even when outnumbered and outgunned, and has not hesitation in gunning down criminals to quell a riot. Similarly, he doesn’t hesitate to slap former convicted hacker Herman “Fergee” Ferguson (Schneider) with the maximum prison sentence simply for trying to save himself from being caught in the crossfire. Dredd’s rigid enforcement of the law has earned him quite the reputation; ordinary street punks fear him, and rightfully so, and his lack of humanity and propensity to favour summary execution draw criticism from fellow Judge Barbara Hershey (Lane) and Dredd’s mentor and father figure, Chief Justice Eustace Fargo (von Sydow), who orders him to spend time at the academy training the future generation of Judges not in combat but in the enforcement of ethics in an attempt to inject some humanity and compassion into Dredd’s approach. Although Dredd is clearly unhappy with this assignment, he follows his orders because he has such respect for his mentor and he truly believes in the world of the law, following the literal book to the letter and committing his very life and soul to upholding its ideals, even at the expense of his emotions and empathy.

Whether through compassion or “humour”, both Hershey and Fergie help to humanise Dredd.

Dredd’s cold demeanour is contrasted by Hershey, the closest thing he has to a friend. Although Dredd has respect for all of his peers, he openly acknowledges that Hershey is “one of the smartest of the new breed” and turns to her to defend him when he’s accused of murder out of respect for her capabilities. Unlike Dredd, Hershey is far more empathetic; she chastises herself when her rookie Judge is murdered on her watch and openly disagrees with Dredd’s philosophy that Dredd’s must commit their lives to the law until they either die on the streets of venture out into the Cursed earth for “retirement”. Indeed, she’s perfectly happy to openly criticise him for being too harsh and lacking in humanity and is both hut and betrayed when the evidence condemns him as a traitor. Moved by the emotional depths Dredd displays after learning of his true origins, she agrees to help him track down Rico both out of a genuine loyalty and affection for him and to avenge the losses her and her fellow Judges have suffered at Rico’s hands. Much of Judge Dredd comedy is focused on Dredd’s stoic demeanour and the awkwardness of him relying on others after he’s betrayed by the very system he dedicated his life to. Have no fear, though, as Fergie is here to act as the comic relief of the film and boy, does it start to grate very quickly. Unlike his simple-minded comic book counterpart, Fergie is a former hacker who, after serving his sentence, finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Naturally, he objects to Dredd’s harsh sentencing and cannot help but laugh at the irony of the grim Judge being convicted for a crime he didn’t commit, but Fergie has no choice but to rely on Dredd when they crash in the Cursed Earth and end up in the clutches of the notorious Angel Gang. From there, Fergie acts as Dredd’s bungling sidekick; a dead weight he’s forced to lug around. Indeed, Fergie’s hacking talents really have no relevance until the last act; Dredd has Hershey and tech-savvy cadet Nathan Olmeyer (Balthazar Getty) to offer more practical help, so Fergie is literally just there to offer manic “humour” that basically amounts to him being a nuisance. However, his presence does tie into the film’s attempts to humanise Dredd; Dredd’s stoic façade and aggravation towards Fergie noticeably lifts as they spend more time together and there’s a genuine sense that the two have become begrudging friends by the finale.

Fargo reluctantly opts to step down to protect Dredd and the sanctity of the justice system.

The Judges have a great deal of resources at their command, from Lawgiver pistols that fire an array of ammo to Lawmaster bikes that let them blast through the skies (when they actually work). What they don’t have, however, is manpower; with the city growing more volatile, Judges such as Dredd are forced to rely on more extreme measures to safeguard the citizens, and this draws them much criticism from the likes of news reporter Vartis Hammond (Mitchell Ryan). Hammond’s sentiments are echoed by Chief Justice Fargo, a well-respected and long-tenured senior Judge who is burdened by the responsibilities he feels towards the welfare of Mega-City One. He’s reluctant to enforce harsher methods as he wants the Judges to stand for freedom and justice rather than oppression and, while he’s a figure that commands great respect, it’s undeniable that his beliefs are opposed by Dredd and even those in his council, like Judge Jürgen Griffin (Prochnow). Fargo is equally reluctant to reactive “Project: Janus”, an abortive attempt at cloning Judges rather than recruiting them, and is conflicted by his guilt and affection for Dredd, whom he sees as a son since he was cloned from his genetic material. After seeing Rico, Dredd’s clone brother, descend into madness, Fargo fears that he’s made a mistake in placing so much faith in Dredd but ultimately agrees with Griffin’s suggestion to take the Long Walk and spare Dredd’s life rather than risk the truth about Project: Janus being released and what little faith the people have in the justice system being compromised. A compelling and commanding presence, Fargo delivers much of the film’s emotional gravitas thanks to Max von Sydow’s alluring performance; his death is an emotional moment not just for the audience but for Dredd, too, who struggles with his turmoil of emotions his mentor’s revelations and passing stir up in him.

As if the corrupt Griffin wasn’t enough, Dredd has to contend with the cannibalistic Angel Gang.

Of course, it turns out that Fargo’s retirement is orchestrated by Judge Griffin in a conscious effort to remove him from the council, ascend to the role of Chief Justice, and coerce his fellow councilmembers into reactivating Project: Janus. Griffin sees the escalation of crime and violence in the city as an epidemic, one that must be stamped out with every resource at their disposal, in order to bring about “an ordered society”, even if it means suppressing basic human rights. To this end, he conspires to release Rico from his imprisonment, frame Dredd for the murder of Vartis Hammond and his fellow councilmembers, and instil his own brand of order to the city through the deployment of a new batch of genetically enhanced clones. Of all the character sin the film, I’d say that Griffin is the most changed from his comic book counterpart; here, he’s an ambitious and antagonistic schemer who wants to reshape the Judges into his own image, but even he is aghast when Rico tampers with the clones so that they’re born from his genetic material rather than the wise and benevolent council. Griffin is contrasted by the admirably faithful Angel Gang; a mutated group of in-bred misfits who have turned to cannibalism and madness in the wastelands of the Cursed Earth, the Angel Gang are comprised of patriarch Pa Angel (Scott Wilson) and his backwoods sons Junior (Ewen Bremner), Link (Phil Smeeton), and Mean Machine (Christopher Adamson). Unfortunately, we don’t learn too much about them except that they’re God-fearing misfits who openly torture and kill anyone who stumbles into their territory; Mean Machine Angel, always the most visually interesting and tragic of the family, is an obvious standout thanks to his raging temper and cybernetic enhancements but, sadly, they’re mainly included as a brief obstacle for Dredd to overcome while stranded in the radioactive wastelands and could’ve easily been replaced by the same nameless, faceless Judges who later enter the scene anyway, but I appreciate the effort used to translate them to the screen, however brief it was.

Bolstered by his robotic bodyguard, the psychotic Rico plans to cause cause across the city.

Our primary antagonist is, of course, the psychotic and strangely alluring Rico. Like in the comic books, Rico is Dredd’s clone brother but, unlike in the source material Dredd is unaware of this until late into the second act. While Dredd embodies the law and everything it stands for, Rico embodies chaos; a former Judge and Dredd’s only true friend, Rico turned to wholesale mayhem and destruction and was sentenced to death as a result, which directly contributed to Dredd adopting his cold-hearted demeanour. However, Judge Griffin intervened and saw to it that Rico was simply incarcerated so he could use him as his agent to bring about his new order for Mega-City One. Griffin unleashes Rico, hoping he’ll stir up anarchy, but quickly loses control over the maniacal killer, who reprograms a battered old Atomic, Bacterial and Chemical Warrior (ABC Warrior) to act as his bodyguard, murders the council, and sets about birthing his own bath of clones. Rico is an undeniable highlight of the movie thanks to Armand Asante’s snake-like performance; he’s constantly walking the fine line between reason and insanity, flipping on a dime between the two and coming across as a volatile and unpredictable personality with a surprising amount of depth. Rico was hurt when Dredd brought him to justice and feels betrayed by him, but also wishes Dredd to join him in restructuring the justice society, with Dredd as Chief Justice, in a bid to build a true family. Rico is also assisted by Doctor Ilsa Hayden (Joan Chen), a woman who’s primarily there to help Rico with the clone science and to give Hershey someone to fight in the finale; otherwise, she may as well not be there and she’s just a one-dimensional piece of ass-kicking eye candy that just stands next to Rico and reacts to his monologues.

The Nitty-Gritty:
It’s interesting that the tone of the film veers so far away from the more violent and dark humour of the source material, especially as the opening credits consist of a collage of various Judge Dredd and 2000 AD comic book covers as an acknowledgement of the film’s roots. To be fair, there is an attempt at evoking the violence of the comics throughout the movie; squibs and blood effects are prominent when characters are shot, especially during the opening Block War and subsequent shootouts, and Warden Miller (Maurice Roëves) suffers a particularly brutal shot to the throat during Rico’s escape. A lot of the more gruesome violence is rendered offscreen, but this is actually beneficial; when Rico orders the ABC Warrior to rip off Chief Justice Fargo’s arms and legs, the noise is enough to know how horrific that fate is, and there’s even a brief shot of the Angel Gang’s latest meal being chargrilled on a spit roast. It’s pretty obvious that the film was cut to avoid being slammed with a higher rating, but my main issue with the tone is the over-reliance on Fergie’s comedic mishaps to counterbalance the few, fleeting violent moments, though I do enjoy the dynamic between him and Dredd, especially when Dredd begrudgingly considers Fergie’s usefulness as a good luck charm and some of the Judge’s stoic one-liners. And Stallone has some great quips here, from his booming declaration of “I am…the law!”, his surly growl of “Courts adjourned”, and his explosive outburst in the trial scene! I also have to compliment Alan Silvestri’s rousing score; it strikes a fantastic balance between heroic, military-esque, and stirring and really bolsters the onscreen action as only Silvestri can.

While some effects haven’t aged well, overall the film holds up and impresses with its visuals.

One area where Judge Dredd really excels is in its visual aesthetic and presentation; obviously drawing much of its inspiration from Blade Runner, the film’s rendition of Mega-City One is as a sprawling, technologically advanced, overcrowded super-city that merges recognisable landmarks like the Statue of Liberty with impossibly high, futuristic skyscrapers. Neon signs, holographic projectors, and impressive technology such as flying cars, artificial intelligence, and mechanical conveniences are commonplace and many of them, like the Judge’s Lawmaster motorcycle, are comically unreliable. Indeed, there’s a definite sense of the city being cobbled together and everything has a very “lived-in” look; while the Judges have access to sleek toys and vehicles in contrast to the gritter back alleys where riots are frequent, there’s a definite sense that everyone’s just trying to make the best of what they have on offer, which ties in perfectly to the rising tensions in the streets over strained resources and overcrowding. The special effects hold up really well thanks to being a combination of miniatures, matte paintings, and practical effects; even the Cursed Earth and the exterior of Mega-City One have a grand sense of scale and CGI use is sporadic and not too glaring, though the Lawmaster chase through the city skyline does look a bit suspect. I can forgive this, however, as the flying vehicles and visual presentation is, overall, very impressive and very reminiscent of the source material. This is true of the Judge’s uniform; if anything, the film adheres too close to the source material here, translating the uniform into a form-fitting body suit bolstered by gleaming armour when it should probably be realised as something a bit more practical. Still, the Judges look great, especially Dredd; their helmets, badges, and armour are all extremely faithful to the source material and the same is true of Mean Machine Angel. My favourite of the Angel Gang, this psychotic cyborg is brought to gruesome life through the use of heavy prosthetics and my only complaint is that he doesn’t get much screen time. Similarly impressive is Rico’s recommissioned ABC Warrior; styled after Hammerstein and brought to live as a fully functioning practical effect, the ABC Warrior has a real weight and presence in the film and all of these real-life special effects make up for the few wonky special effects and help Judge Dredd stand the test of time even to this day, at least in terms of its visual appeal.

After a strong start, the movie commits the cardinal sin of removing Dredd’s helmet and making him a hero.

Of course, Judge Dredd betrays the very essence of the character within the first twenty minutes of its runtime when Dredd “[stands] at ease” and removes his helmet! I absolutely understand why this decision was made; if you’ve hired Sylvester Stallone, you want to see his face and it helps the character, and the actor, to express a greater range of motions but it undeniably goes against everything the character is known for. In the comics, Dredd essentially loses his humanity and individuality after Rico turns against the law, becoming the embodiment of the justice system, flaws and all, rather than a simple man. While he’s still that here and Dredd gives a particularly rousing speech to the young cadets regarding the level of commitment he expects from every Judge, the film is much more focused on humanising Dredd, turning him from a grim, almost robotic character and into a more compassionate, heroic figure… not unlike the narrative arc seen in RoboCop. Unfortunately this really doesn’t fit with Dredd’s characterisation and appeal; the whole point is that he’s a tough, but fair, enforcer of the law in an increasingly lawless society. Any political or social commentary is dumbed down in Judge Dredd, which approaches such aspects with a disappointingly toothless attack, but Dredd removing his helmet is basically a slap in the face to the audience, a way of saying “We’re here to make money”. The biggest irony of this is that the film has the perfect excuse to have its cake and eat it too; all they had to do was cast Stallone in a dual role, playing both Dredd and Rico, then he could’ve kept the helmet on and still been allowed to act with his face unobscured. Asante could’ve been cast as Judge Griffin since Prochnow isn’t exactly the most compelling presence in the movie (his performance is strangely exaggerated at times) and the script could’ve been rewritten to accommodate these alterations. I don’t know if that would’ve necessarily made the movie better but it would’ve at least stayed true to the spirit of the character and perhaps spared us the visual of the citizens cheering Dredd on in the finale like he’s a conquering hero, something his comic book counterpart would probably have deemed a public nuisance.

Dredd destroys his clones, dispatches Rico, and returns to duty as a street Judge.

Still, it’s hard to deny the gravitas that Asante brings to Rico and how captivating his performance is; Stallone definitely can act and has always stood out from his action hero peers as being more than a slab of meat, but he’s a little in over his head here and largely bolstered by his supporting cast as he focuses entirely on tweaking Dredd’s persona from an uncompromising man of the law to a more empathetic individual. Dredd undergoes a great deal of emotional turmoil in the film, from being betrayed and convicted by the system to discovering that he’s a clone of Fargo and that Rico is his genetic brother. The trial is particularly hard on Dredd, who knows he’s innocent but is convicted because of irrefutable genetic evidence, forcing him to see the flaws in the system, but he’s absolutely devastated when Fargo dies before his eyes after revealing the truth to him. After finally opening up to Hershey, Dredd gears up to confront his brother in the remains of the Statue of Liberty, where Project: Janus is situated. In this elaborate laboratory, Rico has spawned a new crop of clones using his own genetic material and, after Dredd refuses to join him in his campaign, Rico orders that the clones are hatched before they’re fully gestated, briefly forced Dredd to contend with the gruesome copies that are little more than monstrous drones. Although injured (by a shot that really should’ve been fatal…), Fergie is able to disable to ABC Warrior and Hershey fends off Dr. Hayden as the laboratory explodes around them, leaving Dredd and Rico to face off in a brutal fist fight in Lady Liberty’s head after just… ignoring the clones, which are basically just there for a jump scare. Despite clearly being Rico’s physical superior, Dredd ends up dangling precariously over a fatal drop after they exchange blows; luckily for Dredd, Rico can’t pass up the chance for one final monologue in which he chastises his brother’s lack of loyalty and vision, given Dredd the opportunity he needs to distract Rico with a flare, deliver one last one-liner, and sent him plummeting to his death. In the wake of Rico’s death, the truth about Griffin’s actions is broadcast, exonerating Dredd and leaving him in prime position to ascend to the role of Chief Justice. Surprisingly, the movie adheres to the spirit of the comics by having Dredd decline and recommit himself to his daily duties, and then deviates from it wildly by having him exhibit only confusion and intrigue rather than insult when Hershey plants a kiss on his lips.

The Summary:
So, yeah… I’m a little torn. If anyone knows the complexities of adaptation, it’s me, and I totally get that some things need to change to bring a concept to life. generally, I go into an adaptation looking to see how it stands by itself, what it does differently, and how it works in its new medium and genre and judge it according to those standards. By that measure, Judge Dredd is a pretty by-the-numbers sci-fi action/comedy; it’s colourful and visually stunning, with some decent action set pieces and humour (when Rob Schneider isn’t trying too hard) that has a certain appeal, especially for younger viewers. If you’ve seen Demolition Man, which came out only a couple of years before this, and Blade Runner, this is very much a mash up of those two, with a sprinkling of RoboCop in there; it’s not exactly ground-breaking, but the practical effects and visual presentation go a long way to making it an entertaining flick. Stallone does a decent job here; honestly, he was a great choice to play Judge Dredd and (literally) fills the boots well, carrying himself with a grim, stoic demeanour that perfectly contrasts with his stellar supporting cast. Unfortunately… it’s just not really Judge Dredd for me. it captures some of the essence of the source material, but not enough to truly do it justice. I can understand toning down the violence and changing some aspects, but removing the helmet was a big no-no. Obviously, it would’ve been a very different movie if Stallone had kept it on (and again, I don’t know if it’d really be “better”), but the key thing here is that Dredd’s character is changed to make him a more heroic figure, when that’s really missing the point of what Dredd’s all about. Ultimately, I think the filmmakers just played things too safe; this wasn’t a time when comic book movies were known for taking risks and that really shows here, resulting in a fun action romp but one that is more like a taster introduction to Dredd’s world rather than truly being representative of it, which is a shame.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to Judge Dredd’s live-action debut? Were you annoyed that he removed his helmet or do you think it made sense considering who was in the role? What did you like to Stallone’s performance and this interpretation of Dredd? Were you impressed by the film’s visuals, costume design, and special effects? What did you think to the plot regarding Dredd’s framing and his clash against Rico? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments or on my social media and be sure to check out my other Judge Dredd content.

Game Corner [Sci-Fanuary]: Metroid (Nintendo Switch)

Dr. K7 Comments

January sees the celebration of two notable dates in science-fiction history, with January 2 christened “National Science Fiction Day” to coincide with the birth date of the world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and HAL 9000, the sophisticated artificial intelligence of Arthur C. Clarke’s seminal 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), being created on 12 January.

Released: 14 November 2018
Originally Released: 6 August 1986
Developer: Nintendo
Original Developer: Nintendo R&D1 Intelligent Systems
Also Available For: GameBoy Advance, GameCube, Nintendo Entertainment System (NES), Nintendo Wii, Nintendo Wii U

The Background:
It’s probably fair to say that, compared to Nintendo’s other heavy-hitters like Super Mario and The Legend of Zelda (Various, 1986 to present), the Metroid franchise (Various, 1986 to present) is maybe one of the company’s more under-rated properties. I actually have had very little experience with the series outside of the Super Smash Bros. series (Various, 1999 to 2018) and brief experiences with Metroid II: Return of Samus (Nintendo R&D1, 1991) and Super Metroid (Nintendo R&D1 Intelligent Systems, 1994), though this is mainly due to growing up as a SEGA guy. Metroid came about after Nintendo had seen success with their early titles for their industry-saving console, the NES. Producer Gunpei Yokoi and directors Satoru Okada and Masao Yamamoto collaborated on the title, which was heavily influenced by Alien (Scott, 1979). The developers sought to create an action-orientated game in which power-ups would be not only permanent, but necessary to completion, and with a strong emphasis on non-linear exploration. Metroid ended up being so successful in this regard that it, and Castlevania (Konami, 1986), spawned an entire videogame subgenre dubbed “Metroidvania”. Metroid was well-received upon release; reviews praised its challenging gameplay and it has since been recognised as one of the greatest games ever made. Metroid would spawn a number of sequels and spin-offs, and was ported to many subsequent Nintendo consoles either as an unlockable bonus or as a full-blown remake. Considering how popular and influential the series, and this first game, have become over the years, it’s no surprise that Metroid was included in the Nintendo Switch Online service soon after it launched, which also allowed me the chance to play it for the first time.

The Plot:
Bounty hunter Samus Aran journeys to the planet Zebes to retrieve the parasitic Metroid organisms from the malicious Space Pirates, who plan to replicate the Metroids by exposing them to beta rays and then use them as biological weapons in their mad plot for galactic conquest.

Gameplay:
Metroid is a 2D, sidescrolling, action/platformer with a strong emphasis on run-and-gun action, horizontal and vertical jumps, backtracking, and exploration. Players take on the role of Samus Aran, an armoured bounty hunter with a blaster for an arm, and must explore the planet Zebes, which is comprised of five relatively distinct areas all joined together in a huge game map. Samus begins the game able to shoot directly ahead or above and to jump, and you’ll quickly find that ground-based enemies are beyond your ability to destroy in the early going as Samus can’t shoot downwards or defeat enemies by jumping on them. You’ll also, literally, run face-first into a wall if you give into your gamer’s instinct and head to the right; instead, you should go left from the starting area, where you’ll find your first Chozo Statue and your first power-up, the Morph Ball, which lets you curl up into a ball by pressing down and thus slip into small tunnels and areas. From there, the sheer scope of your mission quickly becomes very daunting; not only do enemies respawn when you leave the immediate area (not the immediate screen, as you can scroll to the left and then go back to the right and your enemies will be back) but you’re missing the most crucial aspect a game like this needs: an onscreen map. I have absolutely no idea how gamers managed to play Metroid without this simple convenience, and have heard that they either drew their own maps or consulted magazines at the time just to get an idea of where the hell you’re meant to go. Since you acquire different upgrades along the way that help you access new areas, and a lot of the areas look very similar save for some different colours and flourishes, you’ll need a good memory and a lot of experimentation to figure out where you’re going and what you’re doing.

Explore a large, interconnected map finding upgrades to reach new areas.

Thankfully, you can at least hold down B or X for a rapid fire function and hold A to jump a little higher, and Samus is relatively durable; her health is measured in numerical units, and her default weapon has unlimited ammo, but you will have to deal with some difficult jumps (made all the more frustrating by some horrendous enemy placement and movements) and knockback damage that can send you dropping into lava or spikes, where your health will whittle away to nothing in no time at all. Metroid gives you just one chance to finish the game; if (well, when, really) you die, the game is over and you’re given a ludicrously long password to continue but, thankfully, the Nintendo Switch version allows for both save states and a rewind function if (again…when) you make a mistake. Health and ammo is dropped by enemies and there are numerous points where you can simply stand there, blasting at constantly respawning enemies to farm health or missiles, but take care as enemies can pounce from behind and more spawn in the moment you pick up your item. Your primary goal in Metroid is to find and defeat two bosses to create a bridge that leads to the final area, Tourian, to confront Mother Brain but, to reach these bosses, you’ll need to find new upgrades to open doors or reach new areas with a higher jump, temporary platforms, or dropping down through destructible blocks. Although areas start out pretty simple, it’s not long before you need to blast at stone blocks to create pathways and platforms (though you need to be careful as the blocks will damage you if you’re standing there when they spawn back in), hopping over tiny rocky platforms floating over lava, and dodging past tougher enemies. Luckily, there are no instant death hazards here, but you can easily get trapped in a dangerous position where enemies and hazards drain your health, or you’re left with such little health that you’ll die soon after anyway. All of this means that Metroid is a pretty touch experience, even with the quality of life features offered by the Nintendo Switch; it doesn’t take much for a simple mistake to lead to disaster, enemies can take quite a few hits before being dispatched, and it’s ridiculously easy to get turned around and completely lost. Luckily, there’s no time limit to worry about, and the game is much more enjoyable with a detailed map to help you out.

Graphics and Sound:
Given that it’s an 8-bit title, Metroid is quite the pixelated adventure; Samus, especially, stands out against all of the game’s dark backgrounds thanks to her orange armour but, as you might expect, doesn’t really have many frames of imagination. She ambles along at a decent pace, even able to shoot and run at the same time, but you’ll notice that the game suffers from severe slowdown when too many enemies or items are onscreen at the same time. Each area of Zebes is accompanied by a funky little tune, with the now-recognisable Metroid theme being the catchiest of them, but you won’t encounter any context or story-related text until the final moments of the game, meaning you’ll need the instruction manual to have any idea of what the hell’s going on.

While areas can be distinctive, there are many screens and sections that are confusingly similar.

Planet Zebes is split into five areas: Brinstar, Kraid’s Lair, Norfair, Ridley’s Lair, and Tourian, with each one connected by stone or mechanical tunnels and lifts that you can descend and ascend. Each area has a different colour scheme to help differentiate them a little (blue, green, grey, purple, etc) but they’re also very similar and feature nearly identical tunnels and screens in each area, meaning that it’s very easy to lose track of where you are. Some areas feature cloud platforms, stone columns, lava, bubble or monstrous platforms and ceilings, while others are long vertical shafts you need to make your way up. These long shafts can be safer spaces where you can restock on your supplies, but you’ll also need to make use of your Bomb to blow up blocks and descend downwards to give your Morph Ball a little boost to enter into seemingly impassable walls. While lava pits are best avoided, some are actually fake and lead to new areas; other times, you’ll need to navigate through tubes, avoiding or blowing up enemies and hoping you don’t end up being boiled alive. Little touches like moss, different types of stones or foreground elements, and minor visuals help to make some screens a little more distinct but it’s very easy to get confused as some screens are literally identical but at different points on the map and you’ll no doubt be driven made by the constant beeping when your health is low.

Enemies and Bosses:
Planet Zebes is host to all manner of alien baddies who will hop, swoop, and fly right at you without a second’s hesitation. While some of the smaller, weaker enemies can be destroyed in one shot, others take multiple shots and even the simplest of enemies can cause a major problem as they respawn constantly from all angles and it’s easy to get hit by one (and knocked into lava…) Spiked Zoomers are the easiest and most frequent enemy, though you’ll probably be farming pick-ups from Zebs quite often as well. Skree drop from the ceiling and will explode if you don’t destroy them quickly, Wavers, Rios, Multivolas, and Sidehoppers bounce around the screen erratically, Dragons spit fireballs at you in an arc from lava, and Rippers travel back and forth and make for useful temporary platforms oney you acquire the Ice Beam. In Tourian, you’ll encounter the titular Metroids, bug-like parasites that float around and home in on you to suck your energy away and which can only be destroyed with your limited supply of missiles.

After besting Ridley and Kraid, you’ll face your toughest challenge yet in Mother Brain’s defenses.

Considering the size of its map, Metroid only features three bosses; I assume you can theoretically tackle Kraid and Ridley in whatever order you like (assuming you take the right paths using a guide) but I fought Ridley first. This stubby little purple dragon hops up and down in the middle of the arena shooting projectiles at you. These also form a kind of protective shield that will block your shots, but can be destroyed with your weapons. Ridley doesn’t really need to do much else as he can absorb a huge amount of punishment before finally exploding, and the same can also be said about Kraid. Kraid is a little more formidable; he meanders back and forth across a platform surrounded by acid and constantly fires missiles and throws bladed projectiles at you, all of which you must dodge and shoot through in order to land the necessary multiple hits on the bulbous monster. There’s also a fake version of Kraid hiding in his lair, which will respawn upon defeat, and only by destroying the real Kraid can you complete the bridge and enter the game’s toughest and most unfair area by far. Mother Brain is a stationary brain inside a glass jar but is protected by an intricate and unrelenting arsenal of wall-mounted lasers, bubble-like projectiles, and barriers which you must blast through with your missiles. As if that isn’t bad enough, you’re given precarious platforms to stand on to shoot at her and must battle over a lava pit, constantly dodging and being pummelled by projectiles as you desperately try to fire your missiles at her through the narrowest of openings. Once she’s defeated, you’re then given about 999 in-game seconds to navigate up one final shaft and get to safety before the whole place explodes, making for a heart-poundingly tense and massively frustrating finale to an already challenging game.

Power-Ups and Bonuses:
Samus will find a wide variety of useful, permanent power-ups to gradually make her journey a little easier. It’s well worth taking the time to explore (or use a map…) to seek these out as you can increase her health by finding Energy Tanks (which will add another block of 99 health units to your total) and increase her maximum supply of missiles up to 255 with Missile Tanks. Since you need missiles to open doors and deal the maximum amount of damage to enemies, and will find yourself absolutely crucified in Tourian without these, these are both well worth seeking out. As mentioned, you’ll need the Morph Ball to progress past the first few screens, and soon acquire the Bomb to use in this form to destroy ground-based enemies or propel Samus into tunnels. The Long Beam will extend the range of Samus’s default weapon, which can also be upgraded to the Ice Beam (which, naturally, freezes enemies and turns them into temporary platforms but be warned as a subsequent shot will unfreeze them) and, eventually, the Wave Beam (which increases the firing range of your main attack). Samus can also find the High Jump Boots to extend her vertical jump, the Screw Attack to damage enemies with a spinning jump attack, and the Varia Suit to reduce the amount of damage she takes from enemies and hazards.

Additional Features:
As mentioned, the Nintendo Switch version allows for up to three save states and includes a rewind feature, both of which are incredibly useful for when you land in a sticky situation or want to take a break. If you fancy jumping ahead, you can also play an “SP” version of the game that bestows you with all the available equipment and upgrades and drops you right outside of the battle with Ridley. Unlike many videogames of its era, Metroid doesn’t feature a high score system but it does include multiple endings; the faster you finish the game, the more of Samus’s true form will be revealed in the ending. Additionally, after finishing the game, you’ll automatically start over in a new game with all of your power-ups (though without the additional Energy and Missile Tanks you acquired) or even garbed in a skin-tight outfit rather than armour.

The Summary:
I may not have ever properly played a Metroid game before, but I was fully aware of the franchise and its emphasis on backtracking and exploration. Consequently, I was a little intimidated to play through Metroid, especially as my limited experience with the series had left me struggling to find my way around. Although it is a real problem that Metroid doesn’t feature any kind of map (which is weird, as The Legend of Zelda (Nintendo R&D4, 1986) released earlier that same year and featured a rudimentary map system), it’s nothing you can’t solve with a quick Google search, meaning your only remaining hurdle is the challenge offered by the gameplay. While the controls are tight enough, Samus is a bit slippery and floaty at times, and her inability to fire in all directions makes things problematic, but nowhere near as annoying as the respawning, erratic enemies and tricky platforming sections. The various upgrades definitely help with this, and once you have a bit more health and a more powerful main attack and have gotten used to the repeating rooms and enemies, the game becomes a lot of fun. It’s definitely rough around the edges, though; when playing retro games on modern consoles, I always try to imagine how gamers coped back in the day and, in the case of Metroid, I can only assume they got through it with a great deal of patience and trial and error. Still, this was a decent experience and I’m glad that I finally played through it; it’s maybe a little too challenging and confusing at times for just a casual playthrough, though, so I’m interested to see if I find the later releases more appealing with their improved graphics and controls.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Have you ever played Metroid? If so, what did you think to it and how do you think it holds up today, both against its subsequent titles and other games from that era? Did you struggle to navigate the inter-connected game map? Which of the bosses and upgrades was your favorite? Have you ever finished the game without using modern enhancements, and what’s the best ending you’ve achieved? Which Metroid game is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below or leave a reply on my social media, and be sure to check out my other Metroid reviews.

Back Issues [Sci-Fanuary]: 2000 AD #2

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January sees the celebration of two notable dates in science-fiction history, with January 2 christened “National Science Fiction Day” to coincide with the birth date of the world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and HAL 9000, the sophisticated artificial intelligence of Arthur C. Clarke’s seminal 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968), being created on 12 January. This year, however, I’m spending every Thursday of January celebrating sci-fi’s toughest lawman, Judge Joseph Dredd!

Story Title: “Judge Dredd” (also known as “Judge Whitey”)
Published: 5 March 1977
Writer: John Wagner
Artist: Carlos Ezquerra

The Background:
Everyone knows DC and Marvel Comics; they’re unquestionably the top two comic book publishers in the United States and have birthed some of the greatest comic characters. Over here in the United Kingdom, comics are a little different; generally focusing on slapstick strip characters, British-made superheroes are a little more niche compared to those in the US. And then there’s 2000 AD, a sci-fi comic book that began life in February 1977 and is still published to this day; although the comic wasn’t expected to last long, 2000 AD briefly revitalised British pulp icon Dan Dare before crafting an entirely original character to appeal to their readers’ love of anti-authoritarian attitudes and narratives. Created by John Wagner, Carlos Ezquerra, and Pat Mills, the uncompromising Judge Dredd was the logical extreme from Wagner’s previous hardened cop, Jackson McBane/One-Eyed Jack and his name came from modifying the title of Mill’s unproduced horror strip, Judge Dread. Inspired by the leather-clad appearance of Death Race 2000’s (Bartel, 1975) “Frankenstein” (David Carradine), artist Carlos Ezquerra developed Dredd’s signature look of body armour, zips, and chains and placed Dredd into a futuristic setting far beyond the original intention, necessitating script alterations, with more reportedly coming about after the original story proved too violent. Known for keeping his face entirely obscured, aging in real time as the years went on, and his steadfast dedication to upholding law in a lawless futuristic society, Judge Dredd became one of the most popular and iconic British comic book characters of all time. Essentially an extreme parody of the US politics and judicial system, Judge Dredd has been involved in some violent and politically-charged tales in his nearly fifty years on the force, including crossovers with DC and Dark Horse properties and even meeting his two live-action counterparts in a one-off special. Judge Dredd has also made the leap into prose texts, videogames, and movies (with varying success) and even inspired the concept of the all-action sci-fi classic RoboCop (Verhoeven, 1987), proving that this ultra-violent lawman is one of the UK’s most enduring and influential fictional characters.

The Review:
Like all my comic book, sci-fi, and action fondness, I owe my love of Judge Dredd to my dad; my dad is a big fan of the character and 2000 AD comics and is responsible for getting many of Dredd’s collected adventures and individual issues into my hands when I was a kid. Personally, I prefer Dredd’s more epic and horror-themed tales, especially those involving the Dark Judges, but I’m always up for reading more of his adventures and have familiarised myself with a fair few of this escapades over the years. His earliest stories are a little different to later tales, with Dredd’s character being noticeably different and his appearance more subdued compared to the stony-faced grimace and imposing physique he’s now known for and this is noticeably right from the first impressive splash page of his debut tale. “Judge Dredd” introduces us to New York in the year 2099 A.D., so right away we have a few things different compared to established Dredd canon; rather than operating within the overcrowded walls of Mega-City One, Dredd enforces the law on the futuristic and crime-ridden streets of New York some seventy-five years from now (and over 120 years into the future from the date the story was published), with even the ruins of the Empire State Building factoring into the narrative over more recognisable Mega-City One structures and trappings. It’s a moot point in many ways since Mega-City One encompasses New York but an interesting observation that the story initially had its roots more firmly planted in real-world locations. Similarly, the captions tell us: “Judges are special lawmen of the 21st century. Elected by the people to enforce the law” which, as far as I’m aware, is decidedly at odds with the more totalitarian nature of the Judges, who are often a borderline dictatorship since crime and social chaos are so rampant within the city walls.

Judge Dredd doesn’t hesitate to show some Judge-killing punks who’s the law in the far future!

Anyway, one of these Judges races along a futuristic highway to intercept a gang of criminals, led by the sadistic and Judge-hating Whitey, only to be cut down by Whitey’s high-impact laser blast. Although he and his disreputable cohorts are disappointed to find they murdered Judge Alvin instead of the legendary Judge Dredd (who already has a reputation as “the toughest of the Judges” even in his first appearance), Whitey consoles himself with the promise of killing more Judges, especially Dredd, and in taking Judge Alvin’s helmet and badge for his own, rechristening himself “Judge Whitey”. Whitey’s true target, Judge Dredd, is in the middle of being praised by the “Grand Judge” for his efforts in reducing the crime rate in Section Six when they’re interrupted by the arrival of Judge Alvin’s dead body strapped to his motorcycle with a threatening note from Judge Whitey. Incensed, the Grand Judge prepares to order an air strike to obliterate Whitey at the Empire State Building but Judge Dredd volunteers to go in alone to teach people to have “respect for the law”. Dredd easily avoids Judge Alvin’s fate by distracting them with his bike, which he sets to automatic so he can get the drop on them from behind. Despite being outnumbered and outgunned, Judge Dredd lives up to his reputation and his skill as a lawman by gunning down Whitey’s minions and taking it to the would-be Judge with his bare hands. Although no match for the Judge, Whitey promises to escape from prison and continue his vendetta, only to be reduced to a tears when Dredd sentences him to life at “Devil’s Island”, a huge traffic island in the middle of a dangerous and bustling inter-city highway complex where any escape attempt is comparable to suicide. The Grand Judge approves of Dredd’s stern sentencing and laments that it’s perhaps the fate of all Judges to die in service of their duties, a destiny Dredd fully supports if it means upholding the law.

The Summary:
Although a brisk, five-page story with some notable differences to later Judge Dredd canon, Judge Dredd’s debut appearance establishes much of the lore and characterisation that would become so synonymous with the lawman and his world for the next fifty-plus years. What little we see of this proto-Mega-City One is beautifully rendered as a bustling futuristic landscape full of oddly-shaped buildings, dangerous stretches of highway, and clogged with traffic all amidst the ruins of New York City. Although the strip is brought to life in black-and-white, there’s a level of detail here that really gives a depth and intrigue to this far-flung world, where criminals use high-powered laser rifles, the Judges ride around on supped-up motorcycles, and the technology of the time is rendered with a kind of 1960s-esque fantasy that makes everything feel lived in and somewhat anachronistic. It’s interesting seeing so many references to the Judges acting on behalf of the public and being talked about as celebrated civil servants by the righteous citizens; my experience with Judge Dredd is that he’s just as likely to arrest or punish an innocent bystander for being a public nuisance as he is a violent criminal so it’s kind of fascinating seeing that the Judges were initially painted as being more virtuous rather than an exaggerated pastiche of militant, martial law.

The groundwork for Judge Dredd’s long and colourful history is all nicely established here.

A tougher, more violent law enforcer for a chaotic futuristic society, Judge Dredd is seemingly the embodiment of law and order, willing diving head-first into even the most dangerous situations simply to set an example to the people. Although there’s a sense that he’s just as angered by Judge Alvin’s death as the Grand Judge, his motivation for tackling Whitey and his gang is more about sending a message to criminals and the general public that the Judges are a force to be reckoned with; he believes that an air strike would diminish the people’s faith in their law enforcers and so volunteers to re-establish that there are consequences to killing one of their number. Judge Dredd’s faith in the system is so total that he considers dying in the line of duty to be the highest honour and he respectfully places Judge Alvin’s badge amongst the dozens hanging from a commemorative wall at “Justice H.Q.”. His sentencing of Whitey to such an inhumane punishment is also motivated by his disgust at the death of a comrade, something he would rather see Whitey suffer for than be granted a merciful death. Judge Dredd is clearly younger and a bit less stoic than I’ve come to know him; he shows respect and appreciation towards the Grand Judge and even cracks a bit of sass with Whitey’s gang before executing them. While many characters talk about Dredd’s reputation, we immediately see that he’s a far more skilled and wily Judge than Judge Alvin as he’s not only smart enough to avoid being so easily gunned down but effortlessly kills Whitey’s comrades and brings the perp in without breaking a sweat. Overall, this was an enjoyable little romp; the basic sense of Judge Dredd and his crime-infested world is all here and it’s fascinating to witness the character’s origins and trace his evolution as a more complex and multifaceted character as time goes on. It’s maybe a little too short and probably lacking in deep characterisations and world-building, but there’s enough here to whet the appetite and give a sense of this no-nonsense lawman of the future.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What did you think to Judge Dredd’s debut story? Did you like that he started out in a futuristic New York City or do you prefer the more unique setting of Mega-City One? What did you think to Dredd’s characterisation as an uncompromising lawman? Did you find Whitey and his gang to be disappointing first enemies for Dredd or do you prefer seeing him effortlessly gun down punks? What are some of your favourite Judge Dredd stories, characters, villains, and moments? Share your thoughts on the lawman of the future in the comments below and be sure to check out my other Judge Dredd content.

Wrestling Recap: Elimination Chamber Match (New Year’s Revolution ’06)

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The Date: 8 January 2006
The Venue: Pepsi Arena; Albany, New York
The Commentary: Joey Styles, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Jonathan “The Coach” Coachman
The Referee: Mike Chioda
The Stakes: Six-man Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship

The Build-Up:
In 2006, World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) was the undisputed titan of the sports entertainment industry. After buying their competition, the company split their expansive roster into two brands; Raw and SmackDown! each had exclusive wrestlers, belts, creative teams, and even pay-per-view events. While this gave a platform for the fabled “SmackDown! Six” and frustrated audiences with Triple H’s “Reign of Terror”, it inevitably led to an expensive prospect for wrestling fans and an overall sense of brand dilution. Dubbed the “Ruthless Aggression” era, this period saw the rise of up-and-coming stars like John Cena and Batista, the in-ring return of the “Heart Break Kid” Shawn Michaels, the ascension of long-time tag team performer Edge to the main event, and the debut of some ground-breaking match concepts such as the Money in the Bank ladder match and the six-man Elimination Chamber match. Long before he became one of their most divisive figures, John Cena captured his first WWE Championship at WrestleMania 21 and was immediately drafted to the Raw brand to capitalise on his popularity, where he clashed with Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff. Although he triumphed over Bischoff’s hand-picked opponents throughout the year, many of his rivals came back with a vengeance after winning qualifying matches to earn a spot in this Elimination Chamber match, which was the fourth time the company had produced this stipulation. However, waiting in the wings was Edge, who had captured the first ever Money in the Bank briefcase, which allowed him the opportunity to cash-in the contract within for a championship match anytime, anywhere, meaning that the deck was constantly stacked against the streetwise champion.

The Match:
As ever, the first five minutes or so prior to the start of the match was dedicated to selling the brutality of the structure and the rules of the Elimination Chamber before the competitors came to the ring. First up was Kane, right in the middle of his psychotic unmasked gimmick and a World Tag Team Championship run alongside the Big Show, closely followed by one of two rising stars who really didn’t fit in this match, “The Masterpiece” Chris Masters, a ‘roided up freak whose only selling point was his physique and his lame-ass Full Nelson submission that, somehow, managed to get over. The second unlikely star in this match was Carlito, who had history with Cena from their feuds over the United States Championship but was another guy I just found to be bland no matter how many apples he spat in people’s faces. Thankfully, the star power returned to the match when Kurt Angle came to the ring, accompanied by chants of “You suck!” and his unnecessary manager at the time, Daivari, meaning it would be the champion, John Cena, going the distance and starting off against Shawn Michaels. Thanks to finally having a Sky subscription around this time, I was very much invested in the Blue Brand and remember John Cena’s inauspicious debut against Kurt Angle and his evolution from a white-meat rookie into an annoying, self-entitled rapper. However, I never really had strong feelings for or against Cena and it wouldn’t be until the WWE kept going back to Cena as champion again and again at the expense of new stars that I tired of his shtick, but he definitely got his fair share of boos here as the crowd had already started to turn against him.

Although Angle came in all intense, a single superkick was enough to eliminate him in quick fashion…

Thanks to the will of WWE Chairman Vince McMahon, Shawn Michaels and John Cena got the match started (to chants of “Cena sucks!” that the commentary team unsuccessfully tried to explain away) with a bit of chain wrestling that quickly turned into a slap-and-slug-fest and the two trying to ram each other into the heavy chains that made up the cage walls. Back in the ring, HBK won the favour of the crowd with some stiff chops and a dominating performance, scoring the first near fall of the match, though it wasn’t long before Cena turned the tide and HBK was flailing like a fish on the top rope. After HBK took a clothesline over the ropes, Carlito joined the match and immediately attacked Cena, hitting a dropkick and crushing HBK with an impressive somersault senton over the ropes and to the steel floor on the outside! The crowd continued to boo everything Cena did and cheer even Carlito when he planted Cena with a modified flapjack, though Carlito made things worse for himself by targeting both the champion and Shawn Michaels, leading to the two working together to shut him down with a double flapjack for a two count. This two on one situation evened out when Kurt Angle joined the fray and started planting everyone with German Suplexes over and over in an explosion of intensity. Angle specifically targeted Cena and Michaels, two men he’d been feuding with throughout 2005, splitting HBK’s forehead open on the chains, ramming him into a plexiglass pod, and mercilessly beating Cena down in the corner. With his rivals down, Angle tried to score the first elimination when he caught Carlito in his patented Ankle Lock, but Carlito’s ally, Chris Masters, rushed the ring and floored everyone with stiff lariats and power moves. However, when he tried to put the Master Lock on Angle, the Olympic Gold Medallist slipped out and put him in the Ankle Lock, before immediately switching to slapping the hold on Cena after slipping out of the FU, but Angle’s time in the match was suddenly ended when HBK hit the Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere for a three count!

Sadly, the star power was removed from the match, leaving Cena with Masters and Carlito.

Carlito and Chris Masters then isolated Cena and HBK, wearing them down with sluggish, uninspired offense and repeated tosses into the steel mesh of the cage. Any attempt by Cena to fight back was instantly shut down by the double team attack, leaving the two rivals beaten on the mat when Kane finally entered the match. Kane went right for the two men standing, planting Carlito and Masters with a big boot and a sidewalk slam before planting both Shawn Michaels and John Cena with Chokeslams. Chris Masters saved Carlito from the same fate, receiving a sock to the jaw for his troubles, but this bought Carlito enough time to briefly down Kane with the Backstabber. When Kane continued to sit up and fight back, the two took him down again and then anticlimactically scored the second elimination of the match after Master press-slammed Carlito onto the Big Red Monster and the two piled on top of him to pin him down. Consequently, the match returned to the previous formula of Carlito and Masters squaring off against Cena and HBK, with Carlito punishing Shawn on the outside and Masters manhandling Cena in the ring before they isolated HBK. Shawn Michaels made a sudden comeback, however, taking both men down and even delivered his patented diving elbow drop to Cena. Though he was too exhausted to go for a pin, Shawn tuned up the band in the corner and damn-near took Cena’s head off with the Sweet Chin Music but Carlito and Masters made the bizarre decision to rush him before he could eliminate the champion from the match and Carlito even pinned Shawn after hitting one of the lamest and piss-poor finishers I know, the damn Cross Rhodes!

Although Cena survived the Elimination Chamber, Edge cashed in to steal his first WWE Championship!

So, rather than have this lacklustre match at least end with John Cena versus Shawn Michaels, the final stretch was a protracted two on one situation pitting the champion against Carlito and Chris Masters, two young prospects, yes, but guys simply lacking the charisma to get the crowd as invested as an HBK/Cena clash. The crowd, already against Cena, instantly saw this as an attempt to paint the champion as an underdog so the jeers filled the arena as Cena overpowered his two assailants with his “Five Moves of Doom”. Masters saved Carlito from the FU and delivered a brutal DDT to the steel floor, busting him open and leaving him helpless to save himself from being rammed into the steel or being bludgeoned by a beatdown. After planting Cena with a double back body drop from the top rope, Masters tied him up in the Master Lock but was unexpectedly betrayed when Carlito hit a low blow and rolled him up to take him out of the match. Unfortunately Carlito couldn’t capitalise as Cena immediately rolled him up to retain the WWE Championship. Bloody and battered, Cena celebrated to a mixture of cheers and boos, but his night took a turn for the worst when Vince McMahon appeared and announced that Edge was cashing in his Money in the bank contract! Accompanied by Lita, Edge rushed the ring and attacked Cena, frantically trying to pin him quickly and stomping away at the battered champion. Fatigued and caught off-guard, Cena was easy prey for a Spear, but shockingly got his shoulder up off the pin attempt! Stunned, Edge charged ahead with a second Spear and finally put Cena down for the three count to win his first-ever WWE Championship for a much-celebrated feel-good moment for the dastardly heel that almost made this bore of a match worth sitting through.

The Aftermath:
Edge’s win set the standard for future Money in the Bank cash-ins; rarely would a briefcase holder name a time and place for their championship opportunity as it was much easier to cash-in on a beaten and tired champion and the briefcase was generally used as a tool to spotlight an up-and-coming future champion. For Edge, it was his ticket to the main event scene and he began a short feud with John Cena over the WWE Championship. Sadly, Cena would regain the belt from Edge at the Royal Rumble but it wouldn’t be the last time Edge won a World Heavyweight Championship and he was compensated with a star-making performance against Mick Foley at WrestleMania 22. At that same event, Cena defended the belt against Triple H and Shawn Michaels’ issues with Mr. McMahon came to a head in a bloody and brutal no holds barred match between the two. As for Kurt Angle, he jumped back to SmackDown! and captured the World Heavyweight Championship, which he then lost at WrestleMania 22 to Rey Mysterio in a triple threat match, thereby setting Rey on a course for his first emotional, if poorly booked, main event run. Finally, Carlito and Chris Masters would tangle with Kane once more when they challenged the Big Red Monster and the Big Show for the World Tag Team Championships in a losing effort at WrestleMania 22; they would then split up and face off in a short feud that ultimately led to Carlito coming out on top. Of course, this wouldn’t be the last Elimination Chamber match; the infamous “Extreme” Elimination Chamber was held in December 2006 and audiences were guaranteed to see at least one a year when it graduated to a self-titled pay-per-view in 2010, however the following year’s New Year’s Revolution event would be the last carrying that brand name.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to the fourth Elimination Chamber match? Do you enjoy the match concept? Were you a fan of John Cena or were you already sick of his schtick at this point? What did you think to the competitors in this match? Were you shocked to see Edge steal the victory at the end? What’s your favourite Elimination Chamber match and Money in the Bank cash-in? Did you enjoy the New Year’s Revolution event and would you like to see it revived? Whatever your thoughts on the 2006 Elimination Chamber and its participants, share them below or leave a comment on my social media.

Wrestling Recap: Kurt Angle vs. Sting (Bound for Glory ’07)

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The Date: 14 October 2007
The Venue: Arena at Gwinnett; Duluth, Georgia
The Commentary: Mike Tenay and Don West
The Referee: Rudy Charles and Andrew Thomas
The Stakes: Main event singles match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship

The Build-Up:
On the 27 May 1996 edition of WCW Monday Nitro, Scott Hall declared war on World Championship Wrestling (WCW). He, Kevin Nash, and their “third man”, Hulk Hogan, hijacked WCW programming as the New World Order (nWo) and WCW dominated the “Monday Night Wars”. WCW’s saviour in this period was Sting, who disappeared into the rafters for almost a year before returning in a persona heavily inspired by The Crow (O’Barr, 1989; Proyas, 1994) to defeat “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan for the WCW Championship in an infamous match on this day in 1997. By 2007, however, the wrestling landscape had vastly changed; the unthinkable happened on 26 March 2001 when Vince McMahon, chairman of World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE), appeared on Monday Nitro to officially announce his purchase of WCW, thus ending the Monday Night Wars. While a handful of WCW wrestlers jumped to the WWE for an ill-fated “Invasion” angle, many chose to sit out their big-money contracts, and one WCW star who repeatedly turned down WWE was “The Icon”, Sting. Instead, Sting signed on with upcoming promotion Total Nonstop Action (TNA), an alternate to mainstream WWE founded by Jeff and Jerry Jarrett and initially part of the National Wrestling Alliance (NWA). Initially, Sting’s time in TNA was focused on opposing Jeff Jarrett, who held a stranglehold over the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, and in various feuds with Christian Cage and Abyss. When the NWA stripped TNA’s champions of their belts, Sting briefly captured the newly-christened TNA World Heavyweight Championship in a match mired in controversy. While Sting was undoubtedly one of TNA’s biggest signings, so too was former Olympic champion Kurt Angle, who made a shocking debut on October 6, 2006 and captured TNA’s top belt by making Sting tap out earlier in the year. After a short run with the TNA World Tag Team Championships, Sting earned himself another shot at the big belt and these two wrestling legends met once more in this one-on-one contest.

The Match:
As much of a wrestling fan as I am, it’s always been difficult for me to watch WWE on a consistent basis; over here in the United Kingdom, we usually have to pay extra for sports channels to watch the weekly shows, which is something I’ve never been interested in, so it was rare and exciting to have wrestling programming available on channels I was already paying for as part of my television package. TNA was one of those shows, and I dipped in and out of the product for quite some time; I watched some of the early years in the Asylum, where many of the low-tier WCW and WWE guys would battle it out over that piece of scrap tin the NWA called a championship and got my first taste of future stars such as AJ Styles, Abyss, and Samoa Joe as well as seeing personal favourites like Raven return to the ring. My peak for the company was when it transitioned to Impact Wrestling, a move I still disagree with, but I remember them signing big names like Sting and Kurt Angle and it really making me sit up and take notice. Sadly, a series of blunders meant that TNA/Impact never quite managed to reach the same level as the WWE but, for a while there, it was easily the number two wrestling promotion in the United States and things were legitimately very exciting in this much-needed alternative to the WWE mainstream. Where else, after all, would you get to see Sting and Kurt Angle battle for a World Heavyweight Championship? All this context is to say that, while TNA wasn’t quite as polished as the WWE powerhouse, they did the best they could to provide a different brand of wrestling and put on some truly exciting matches, and their hype package for this main event was emblematic of that as the video, while not to the standards of WWE’s production, set the stage for these two wrestling icons clashing in Georgia, the birthplace of WCW and Sting’s most memorable moments and of Angle’s Olympic gold medal victory.

A lengthy feeling out process soon saw Kurt Angle take control.

A couple of things I really enjoyed about TNA, especially during this time, was that they used a six-sided ring instead of the traditional four; while I’m sure this was difficult for many performers to adjust to, I always thought this helped the promotion stand out from the competition and thought it was a dumb move to remove that feature when Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff came along. Mike Tenay and Don West also liked to breakdown the match and its performers in a “Tale of the Tape” segment, which always lends an air of legitimacy to the contest in my eyes and essentially paints both competitors as being on somewhat even ground, although Angle was benefiting from a recent edge to his character and an association with Kevin Nash. Sting came out first to the unanimous support of the admittedly small audience and his absolutely dreadful TNA theme (nothing beats Metallica’s “Seek and Destroy”, in my opinion) and carrying his trusty baseball bat; Kurt Angle followed and man, it is weird not hearing the crowd chant “You suck!” at him and to see his vices still taking their toll. Once the bell rang, the two seemed a little cautious; they exchanged collar and elbow tie-ups and go-behinds at the start as part of a feeling out process, with Sting backing away whenever Angle grabbed the ropes to break his holds, but Angle’s wrestling prowess saw him get the upper hand in the early going with a takedown and a wrist lock. Sting showed he wasn’t just some showboat, however, by giving as good as he got; both men targeted the wrist and arm (a strange strategy considering both favour a leg-based submission hold…) and tried to out-wrestle each other with headlock takedowns. Things finally started to speed up once Sting whipped Angle off the ropes; Angle scored with a shoulder block, but Sting landed a beautiful hip toss that was enough for Angle to flee to the outside. Angle took his time getting back into the ring and switched from indulging him with tie-ups and went on the offensive with a gut kick, a European uppercut, and some knife-edge chops against the ropes.

Sting’s tenacity took a beating thanks to Angle’s resourcefulness and Nash’s interference.

A burst of adrenaline saw Sting shrug these off, however; he landed some chops of his own followed by the ten punches in the corner. An awkward reversal exchange saw Angle block Sting’s next attempt to whip him into the ropes, but he ate a dropkick and took a clothesline to the outside after Sting frantically kicked him off a potential Ankle Lock attempt. Sting eventually followed and rammed Angle into the guard rail and onto the announcer’s table before tossing him back into the ring. Angle’s attempt to regain some momentum saw him fly shoulder-first into one of the ring posts but a rake to the eyes allowed him to escape the Scorpion Death Drop. Suddenly, the match turned in Angle’s favour; he planted Sting with a snap German Suplex, followed up with a backbreaker and a couple of unsuccessful pin attempts, before once again beating on Sting and choking him in the corner. A vertical suplex scored a two count, then Angle locked in a body scissors around Sting’s ribs, which he transitioned into a headlock and ended with a belly-to-belly suplex that tossed Sting across the ring. Angle continued the pressure with a chin lock to keep Sting grounded, allowing both men to catch their breath and building tension as Sting rallied for support to power back to his feet. A double clothesline saw led to a dramatic ten count and another chance to the clearly winded competitors to recuperate; a slugfest followed, which saw Sting repeatedly plant Angle with a series of clotheslines and a big spinebuster. Sting’s first cover of the match resulted in a two count and directly led to him hitting his patented Stinger Splash on an absolutely drenched Angle, and then another to the champion’s back followed by a running faceplant. Oddly, Sting then went to the top rope; not sure why or what the hell he was thinking but it was a moot point as Angle leapt up and tossed him down with a big suplex for another near fall. Sting slipped out of an Olympic Slam and tried a roll-up for another close two count, then Angle got pissed and started pounding the life out of Sting with not one, not two, but three successive German Suplexes. Feeling the intensity raging through him, Angle dropped the straps and slapped on the Ankle Lock, but Sting was able to roll over and, inexplicably, reverse it into the Scorpion Deathlock! Unfortunately for the Icon, Angle’s wife, Karen, rushed to the ring the distract him and the referee, which allowed Kevin Nash to plant him with a clothesline.

In the end, Sting’s trusty bat and finishing move secured him his first, if brief, TNA Championship.

Angle then scored with the Olympic Slam but the referee was busy dealing with Karen so he was a little too late for the count, meaning Sting kicked out. Angle then sat Sting on the top rope but, while Sting was able to fight out of a belly-to-belly suplex, his attempt at a diving splash saw him eat nothing but knees, though he still kicked out of the pin. Angle then planted Sting and hit this trippy somersaulting knee drop, like a version of the 450 Splash, but it still only got a two count. Frustrated by Sting’s tenacity, Angle went for the Ankle Lock again, this time right in the middle of the ring; Stin rolled out and sent Angle flying into Nash. However, when Sting ducked Angle’s wild clothesline, referee Rudy Charles got taken out and thus Sting was left frantically motioning for a new referee after planting Angle with the Scorpion Death Drop. Referee Andrew Thomas tried to make the three count but Nash yanked him out of the ring and punched him out before putting a beating on Sting in the corner. Sting took both Nash and Angle down with a double clothesline, however, but got a good ol’ shot to the nuts from Angle for his efforts. Tenay tried to say that Sting managed to block a shot from Angle with his own baseball bat but he clearly wasn’t fast enough as you can see the bat hit him and he ends up bleeding as a result. Still, Sting snatched the bat away and busted Angle open before finally taking Nash out of the equation. Sting then hit another Scorpion Death Drop and Rudy Charles came around long enough to make the final three count, thus awarding Sting another World Heavyweight Championship, much to the delight of the crowd, the announcers, and Sting himself. Sadly, though, this was quite the lethargic affair; considering the two had a bit of a grudge heading into the match, the energy was lacking and it was a very slow and by-the-numbers affair, possibly to cover for Sting’s limitations and Angle’s physical issues. Both guys seemed to get winded very quickly and the referee bumps and interference weren’t really necessary, and the whole contest felt like it was on the verge of kicking into a higher gear but just never got around to it.

The Aftermath:
Sting’s first of four reigns as the TNA World Heavyweight Champion wouldn’t last long; he dropped the belt back to Kurt Angle two days later on an episode of TNA Impact! after interference by Kevin Nash. The two then faced off again the following month at Genesis in a tag team match; Sting and the recently-debuted Booker T took on Angle and Nash, with Angle again emerging victorious. Sting then took a bit of time away from TNA and even teased his retirement, before returning in 2008 and joining forces with Angle, Nash, and Booker T and Scott Steiner as the Main Event Mafia to battle TNA’s younger stars in a turf war. This not only saw Sting reclaim the top belt but reignited his feud with Angle, which eventually led to the stable turning on the Icon, and he and Angle continued to trade wins, losses, and the championship belt even as Sting’s sanity began to slip. Sting and Angle last shared a TNA ring together in 2013 when they reformed the Main Event Mafia to oppose the Aces & Eights stable; both men were inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame (with Sting being the very first inductee) and the WWE Hall of Fame and even showed up on WWE programming later down the line. However, while Angle officially retired from in-ring competition in April 2019, Sting bounced back from what seemed like a career-ending injury to become an active mentor and competitor in All Elite Wrestling (AEW).

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

What did you think to the contest between Sting and Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory 2007? Were you excited to see Sting and Angle be a part of the TNA roster at the time? Did the pacing and interference bother you? What did you think to Sting and Angle’s time in TNA and what are some of your favourite matches and moments from their time there? Were you a fan of TNA? Which of Sting’s “Crow” eras, personas, and matches are your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on Sting, and this match in particular, feel free to voice them below or leave a comment on my social media.

Movie Night: Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Dr. K1 Comment

Released: 17 March 2023
Director: James Wan
Distributor: Warner Brothers
Budget: $205 million
Stars: Jason Momoa, Patrick Wilson, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Randall Park, Temuera Morrison, and Amber Heard

The Plot:
Desperate to find the means to avenge himself against Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Momoa), pirate David Kane/Black Manta (Abdul-Mateen II) stumbles upon the mythical Black Trident, which possesses him and compels him to unleash an ancient threat so powerful Aruthur is forced to join forces with his deposed brother, Orm Marius (Wilson).

The Background:
Back in 1941, Mort Weisinger and Paul Norris created the character of Arthur Curry as part of DC Comics’ (then known as National Comics) desire to capitalise on the success of Clark Kent/Superman and Bruce Wayne/Batman. Although subject to unfair ridicule over the years, Aquaman ultimately had the last laugh when, after years of Development Hell and aborted projects, his live-action debut was met with critical and financial success. Following a short-lived animated spin-off on HBO Max, a planned horror-themed spin-off was thankfully cancelled and a sequel was quickly greenlit; both Momoa and director James Wan were enthusiastic to explore other kingdoms and regions of Atlantis and the vast underwater realm, though the film attracted unwanted media attention when star Amber Heard was accused of abusing her husband, Johnny Depp. Many called for her to be recast and, while Warner Brothers initially shot this request down, it was reported that her role had been significantly reduced as a result of the circus of a trial that followed. The production also stalled due to the COVID-19 pandemic, which changed the release date numerous times but did give the visual effects team more time to work on the film. This apparently also involved excising cameo appearance from one or more Bruce Wayne/Batman actors as James Gunn geared up towards completely restarting the DCEU, with Gunn apparently providing some notes to the filmmakers. After much drama and delays, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom finally released to largely negative reviews; critics attacked the brainless plot and clunky pacing, though Wan’s direction and Momoa’s enthusiastic performance were praised. As of this writing, the film has currently grossed $340.6 million at the box office but it’s largely academic; Momoa isn’t expected to reprise the role in Gunn’s new DC Universe and no new Aquaman projects have been announced yet, leaving the character essentially dead in the water no matter how much money the sequel makes,

The Review:
I was pleasantly surprised by Aquaman; it was big, colourful, mindless fun in an era when the DCEU was unnecessarily dark and bleak, and it altered Aquaman’s characterisation in a way that made him so much more entertaining and relatable. Jason Momoa attacks the role with such relish and natural charisma that it’s easy to overlook flaws in logic or pacing, and that same charm returns in this sequel. Of course, it helps that he’s disgustingly good looking and absolutely shredded, but Momoa’s Aquaman has the kind of Dude/Bro mentality and whimsical childishness that really brings a smile to my face. In this film, a lot has changed for the slovenly brute who once shunned humanity and responsibility; he’s now the King of Atlantis, doting father to Arthur Junior (Various), and loving husband to Y’Mera Xebella Challa (Heard). First, let’s address the elephant in the room: yes, Mera is in this movie but no, she does not have much of a role. In fact, given all the controversy surrounding Amber Heard, I was expecting Mera to be killed off and it does seem like that almost happened; instead, she’s merely severely wounded by Black Manta and taken out of the second act of the movie, only to make a minor reappearance at the end to help Arthur and Orm and get the baby to safety. I can fully understand this, and it’s not like her presence is really missed; she still impresses in her skin-tight outfit and gets to show off her hydrokinetic powers, but the plot doesn’t require her presence and it’s better she was given less prominence considering everything that happened. Interestingly, much of her character development from the first film is repeated with Orm; he’s prejudiced against the surface world like Mera was, confused by their words and ways, and slowly comes to enjoy some of our customs by the movie’s end, though these lessons are reframed in the context of Arthur encouraging a stronger bond between them and him pulling pranks on his relatively naïve younger brother by tricking him into thinking cockroaches are a delicacy!

Now a father dissatisfied with the crown, Arthur teams up with his brother to face a powerful threat.

So, there’s not much focus on the romance here; even Arthur’s father, lighthouse keeper Tom (Morrison) and Queen Atlanna (Nicole Kidman) don’t share a scene together until the start of the third act, and Arthur’s initial conversations with his father even somewhat imply that Atlanna is dead. She’s not, but her role here is equally minimal and simply the catalyst to unite her two estranged sons into joining forces. Instead, we’re left with Arthur, but that’s more than enough! Despite his big victory in the first film, Arthur is bored by the crown, his duties, and the endless politics of the Atlantean council, which handicap him with bureaucracy. A child of both worlds, he spends as much time out of the sea as he does in it to care for his son, something with many of his kingdom resent, and his desire to reveal Atlantis to the surface world and work with them to reduce pollution and climate change are continuously shot down. Frustrated by self-doubt about his role as a leader, Arthur is almost giddy when David Kane returns armed with a powerful trident of his own and wielding forgotten Atlantean technology. Kane’s plot to steal Atlantis’s highly volatile stockpiles of Orichalcum and exacerbate the heating of the world (which also causes a deadly plague to kill many Atlanteans, including Arthur’s mentor, Nuidis Vulko (Willem Dafoe), between movies) causes Arthur great distress. With no way of tracking Black Manta, Arthur enlists the help of King Nereus (Dolph Lundgren) and Topo the octopus to sneak into the desert prion where Orm is held captive and enlist his help since he’s the only one who may be able to lead them to Kane. Arthur jumps at the chance for some action, even if it risks all-out war breaking out, as he’s desperate to get into the thick of it again, to say nothing of trying to connect with his brother and settle the score with his old rival.

Orm is disgusted by his brother’s childishness but proves surprisingly trustworthy.

This dysfunctional dynamic is where the heart of Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom lies, and where much of its entertainment value comes from. Emaciated from his time in prison and embittered by his brutish brother’s lack of decorum when it comes to the throne, Orm is depicted as a conniving, untrustworthy bigot who lusts for power. Yet he agrees to help Arthur, and even stats he will willingly return to custody afterwards, out of loyalty to Atlantis, and never misses an opportunity to chastise his brother’s buffoonery and overreliance on his muscles. Orm emits a more stately persona, attempting to use diplomacy rather than brute force; he’s able to lead them to an underwater den of debauchery and an aquatic crime boss, the appropriately named Kingfish (Martin Short), to get information on Black Manta’s location and even drops condescending advice to Arthur about what it means to be a king. The banter and bickering between Arthur and Orm is great; Orm is visibly disgusted by his older brother, and the humiliation he felt at his hands, while Arthur tries to win him over with his boisterous personality and surface world benefits such as beer and cheeseburgers. Although King Nereus cautions about trusting Orm, the former Ocean Master proves surprisingly reliable; he never runs from a fight, doesn’t attempt to kill or sell out Arthur, and doesn’t even show envy at learned Arthur married Mera. Although it seems like Orm is happy to leave King Nereus to die, he saves the king and earns his respect in the process, and even readily joins Arthur in battling Black Manta when he could easily slip away and let them kill each other. Orm proves equally invaluable in delivering exposition about the Black Trident and the titular lost kingdom of Necrus, though the two brothers are briefly set against each other in the finale when Orm claims the Black Trident and briefly falls under its malicious sway.

Possessed and empowered by the Black Trident, Black Manta’s threat is significantly increased,

Established in the first film as a vengeful, sadistic mercenary, David Kane has become obsessed with discovering the secrets of Atlantis so he can repair his Black Manta suit and avenge himself on Aquaman. Kane’s fascination with Atlantis is shared by his reluctant scientific advisor, Doctor Stephen Shin (Park), who’s longing to see Atlantis is manipulated by Kane into helping him figure out Necrus’s ancient weapons. Once he finds the Black Trident, Kane is bombarded with visions, promises of power, and a superhuman lust to free the imprisoned King Kordax (Pilou Asbæk), who’s dark magic slowly infests Black Manta and drives him to the brink of insanity. Even Orm is stunned to learn of Black Manta’s newfound viciousness, which sees him threaten the entire world with climate instability simply for the sake of it rather than for any kind of ransom, and Kordax’s influence means Black Manta can now go toe-to-toe with both Aquaman and Orm without his power suit. However, he still utilises his technology, blasting his enemies with beams of intense energy and combines both science and magic (and a massive disrupter cannon on a repurposed Necrus ship) to showcase his new might. Black Manta’s need to awaken King Kordax and his list for revenge are so powerful that he targets Arthur’s family, critically wounding Mera and Tom and even kidnapping his son with the intention of using his blood to destroy the magic seal imprisoning the undead king. As for King Kordax, he’s more of an ethereal spirit, a ghastly skeletal wraith who whispers in Kane’s ear, possesses any who touch the Black Trident, and formally commanded a legion of undead warriors in battle against his brother, King Atlan (Vincent Regan). Desperate to return to unlife once more, he feeds the ego of whoever wields the Black Trident, compelling them to spill the blood of Atlan’s bloodline so that he and his army can ransack the entire globe!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom charts the natural next chapter in Arthur’s story; this loveable manchild feels increasing pressure on all sides to grow up and be more responsible as a husband, father, and leader, roles that he attacks with his usual juvenile vigour but which he finds himself questioning at times. Though devoted to his family, he finds the politics of the crown tedious and expresses dissatisfaction with the role, which he only fulfils out of obligation to his mother and his people. There’s no question that he’s a good father (indeed, Tom encourages Arthur to have more children!) or that he wants what’s best for Atlantis, but he desires a worldwide unity that the council aren’t willing to risk and struggles to balance both sides of his life. These issues are explored through his tumultuous relationship with Orm; both were denied a childhood together and are wary, if not frustrated, by each other, with only their love for Atlanna and Atlantis keeping their fragile alliance alive throughout most of the film. They’re two halves of the same coin, though, and both learn a lot from the other; Arthur learns more about what it takes to be a king and Orm learns to not be such a dick and enjoy other cultures. However, while they’re one of the best parts of the film, I would’ve liked to see a little more of this; perhaps a scene or two where Orm does abandon Arthur, or one where Arthur’s knowledge of the surface world helps Orm, or seeing Orm’s stoic disdain crack upon learning that he’s an uncle. The galvanising love show to them both by Atlan helps fill these gaps, as does the presence of King Nereus and the Brine King (John Rhys-Davies), who have their own issues with Orm, but it does feel like some scenes were left on the cutting room floor to keep the pace up.

The visuals and costumes continue to impress, and the fight are more personal this time.

Not that that’s a bad thing; Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom has a very brisk pace that doesn’t waste too much time, but it’s also learned to not interrupt every character moment with a dramatic explosion (there’s even a tongue-in-cheek reference to that at one point. The underwater realms are as captivating as ever, being a neon-drenched wonderland of strange, almost monstrous undersea races and futuristic technology alongside rusted apparatus and long forgotten ancient ruins. Aquaman’s ridiculously good orange/gold armour returns, looking better than ever, and he even gets a sleek, form-fitting black/blue suit and makes him invisible for a few moments at a time, perfect for sneaking into the arid desert prion and battling the dried-out, horrifying guards who dwell there. Although Orm is shafted in the costume department this time around, Mera still catches the eye in her tight little number and Black Manta steals every scene in his ludicrous saucer-like helmet. The fight sequences are much more intense this time, too; moving away from full-scale undersea battles to focus on gritty melee combat, the fights between Aquaman and Black Manta are great now that Kane has received a power boost and is a significant threat able to hideously burn even Atlantean flesh. There are a fair few visually interesting locations on offer as well, from the throne room and market square of Atlantis to the scorching desert and the overgrown, hazardous forest on Black Manta’s island (complete with volcano lair) thanks to the presence of polluting Orichalcum. A fair bit of the film involves ice and frozen locations, too, with Necrus and his army encased in an icy tomb, but overall I found the CGI and action sequences to be really well done; perhaps a bit less bombastic at times, but the focus on crafting meaningful fight scenes benefitted the plot greatly, I feel.

Arthur and Orm come together to defeat Black Manta and repair their relationship.

Despite working surprisingly well as a team, Arthur and Orm are unable to defeat Black Manta; they disrupt his operation, with the help of the remorseful Dr. Shin, but find Kane is willing to sacrifice Arthur Junior to set King Kordax free, leading to a more concentrated assault against Black Manta and the quickly rising undead army of the entrapped king. Determined to save his son, Aquaman battles Black Manta once more, only to find Kane has been fully overtaken by the malicious Kordax. Luckily, Mera and Orm are both on hand to get the baby to safety, but Orm falls under Kordax’s spell when saving Mera and his nephew from certain death. Although it seems like the two brothers are about to fight once more, Arthur tries a different approach, one influenced by his time with Orm and his desire to build bridges between them. Instead of fighting, Arthur also grabs the Black Trident and tries to reason with his brother, with both struggling against Kordax’s influence, and successfully talks Orm down. Orm then provides Arthur with the means to destroy the awakened undead king and finally acknowledges him as his brother in the aftermath, where all involved agree to say that Orm perished in the battle as thanks for his help. With Orm out exploring the surface world for the first time, Arthur makes the decision to finally reveal Atlantis to humanity, directly addressing the United Nations and calling for a global effort in reversing the damage done to the environment and thus ending the DCEU on a surprisingly hopeful message. Sure, the climate change aspects of the film are a little ham-fisted, but I think they’re to be expected in an Aquaman story, especially as suspicion of humankind is such a prominent aspect of the mistreated Atlanteans.

The Summary:
I was excited for an Aquaman sequel; I’ve loved Jason Momoa in the role right from the start and really enjoyed the first film, so it bugged me that Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom was delayed and pushed back and mired in controversy and said to be awful. It really isn’t, to be fair; it’s not as good as the first (though repeated viewings may change that opinion) but it’s not an incomprehensible mess, an ugly noise of awful CGI, or a lacklustre bore-fest either. It’s a fun, thrilling, and surprisingly intense adventure; Black Manta’s vendetta against Aquaman is deeply personal, as are the issues between Arthur and Orm, and the performances of those three actors really sell that. Kane is a cold-blooded, merciless pirate who blood on his mind; Orm is a bitter and resentful fallen king; and Arthur is just trying to do the right thing but struggling with his suitability to the throne. While the actors all do a fantastic job of embodying their roles, the visual effects are absolutely top-notch; I love seeing these characters come to life, Atlantis is a gorgeous undersea society, and the various dishevelled ruins and repurposed technology really give a sense of scale and time to this world. The bickering between Arthur and Orm more than makes up for Mera’s dramatically reduced role and makes this more of a dysfunctional buddy comedy at times, but the more personal and fierce fight sequences are just as appealing to me. It’s shame that the DCEU died out so quickly; I don’t relish having to restart Aquaman’s story and find a new actor for the role, but at least we have these two movies to show us what the character is capable of in the right hands. Ultimately, Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom may not be the best DCEU or superhero movie you’ll ever see, but I think it’s definitely high in the ranks and worth your time for the lead actor alone, but there’s plenty to enjoy beyond that if you’re simply looking for a fun and surprisingly intense action film.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Did you enjoy Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom? How do you think it compares against the first film and other DCEU movies? Did you enjoy Jason Momoa’s performance and Arthur’s relationship with Orm? Were you glad that Arthur Junior was spared the fate of his comic book counterpart? What did you think to Black Manta and his newfound power boost? Were you annoyed by the climate change plot, or did you find it suitable for the film? Who would you like to see portray Aquaman in James Gunn’s new DC Universe? Whatever your thoughts on Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom, and Aquaman in general, drop a comment below or on my social media.

Movie Night [Christmas Day]: Die Hard

Dr. K5 Comments

Released: 15 July 1988
Director: John McTiernan
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $25 to 35 million
Stars: Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, Reginald VelJohnson, Paul Gleason, and William Atherton

The Plot:
New York City police detective John McClane (Willis) arrives at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles to reconcile with his estranged wife, Holly Gennero-McClane (Bedelia). Things quickly turn south when Hans Gruber (Rickman) and his gang of terrorists take the building hostage, leaving McClane to wage a one-man war.

The Background
In 1979, writer Roderick Thorp published a sequel to his 1966 thriller, The Detective; inspired by The Towering Inferno (Guillermin, 1974), Nothing Lasts Forever was well-received and soon shopped around Hollywood, with Thorp hoping Frank Sinatra would reprise his role from the adaptation of The Detective (Douglas, 1968). Instead, the concept ended up in the hands of struggling screenwriter Jeb Stuart, who was given free reign as long as he retained the Christmas-in-Los-Angeles setting. Drawing from personal experiences with married life, Stuart reimagined Thorp’s aging detective, Joe Leland, into a flawed everyman, though remained largely faithful to the spirit of the source material. After Sinatra turned down the lead role, the project was offered to some of Hollywood’s biggest action stars, including Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone, before Bruce Willis (then known more for his comedic efforts) was cast as the wisecracking John McClane and subsequently redefined not only his career, but the portrayal of action heroes in general. Die Hard was the silver screen debut for the late, great Alan Rickman, who was won over by the wit and intelligence of the script and even had some creative input on his character thanks to his theatre background. Screenwriter Steven E. de Souza came onboard for a rewrite, which framed the narrative as though Hans Gruber were the protagonist, though director John McTiernan allowed Willis and the other actors room to improvise during the shoot, which was based almost entirely in and around the Fox Plaza in Central City. Willis performed many of his own stunts, suffering partial hearing loss as a result; the stunts were dangerous and complex for cast and crew alike, though McTiernan couldn’t resist dropping Rickman early to produce a genuine look of fear for Gruber’s fall. In defiance of low expectations, Die Hard was a massive financial success, making around $140 million at the box office, revitalising both 20th Century Fox and the action genre. Although initial reviews were mixed, praising the direction and stunts but questioning Willis’s performance, the film was seen as a breakout role for the actor, one that redefined the action hero stereotype into a more vulnerable and snarky tough guy. After proving to be equally popular on home video, this success naturally translated into a sequel two years later, a venture that proved even more profitable and led to an entire franchise of additional sequels, videogames, and ancillary media of varying quality that nonetheless cemented Willis’s status as a smart-mouthed action hero.

The Review:
Believe it or not, but there was a time when I wasn’t much of a Die Hard fan. Despite growing up on action movies, specifically those starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, kid me always found Die Hard to be a little too slow and “grown up” compared to the Austrian Oak’s films. Eventually, however, I grew up a bit and did a binge watch of the then-trilogy of Die Hard films and realised what I’d been missing out on. Specifically, Bruce Willis establishing himself as a mainstream action icon with these films, in particular this first Die Hard movie, which is still the undeniable best of a surprisingly strong action franchise. McClane separates himself from his action movie counterparts by being the quintessential “Everyman”; he’s physically fit, yes, but not some musclebound brute and he’s far from invincible, gradually becoming more injured and fatigued as the movie goes on. He’s easy to relate to because he’s a very flawed character; his marriage is on the rocks, he’s seen as insubordinate and a liability by his peers, he makes mistakes, and he’s forced to adapt, always one wrong move away from certain death. This is in stark contrast to the likes of Schwarzenegger and Stallone; while they have certainly portrayed more grounded, vulnerable, and human characters, they’re best known for being virtually unstoppable and overcoming the odds through sheer brute force, whereas McClane has to use his wits, cunning, and sheer force of will to triumph.

Smart-mouthed John McClane is the only man tenacious enough to rescue the terrified hostages.

John McClane is portrayed very much as a fish out of water since he is both a New York City cop in the unfamiliar surroundings of Los Angeles and a rugged working man amidst a skyscraper full of well-heeled business types. Although rough around the edges, he’s treated warmly and with respect by Joseph Takagi (James Shigeta) and invited to join the Nakatomi Christmas party, but he’s focused solely on reconnecting with Holly, who has managed to build a successful career for herself without McClane, much to his chagrin. While he’s clearly still in love with her and wants to build bridges, if only for the sake of their young children, McClane is handicapped by a natural immaturity that causes only further arguments rather than him simply admitting to his mistakes. A career cop, McClane is always taking in his surroundings and has a suspicious nature that allows him to separate bullshitters like Harry Ellis (Hart Bochner) from the honest, like Argyle (De’voreaux White), his overly chatting limo driver. This talent goes hand in hand with his adaptability and stubborn nature, from which the film takes its title; though outnumbered and outgunned and definitely in way over his head, McClane keeps his wits about him and is always trying to find some way to get help or pick off his assailants and is intuitive enough to assess the threat posed by the terrorists based on their accents, firearms, and tactics. Basically caught with his pants down, McClane finds himself the only one capable of raising the alarm when Hans Gruber and his goons take over the tower, executing Takagi and taking his employees hostage while they work on breaking into the vault. Outnumbered, outgunned, and without even his shoes, McClane’s first instinct is to call for help, only to be repeatedly met with scepticism, endangering himself and forcing him to flee or fight, with tenacity in equal measure. Though armed only with his service pistol, McClane soon acquires a machine gun (“Ho-ho-ho”), but it’s not enough to tackle Gruber head-on. Instead, McClane fights with a brutal and rabid animal spirit; often physically outmatched by his foes, he takes quite a beating in every encounter and only emerges victorious due to his stubborn nature or taking risks that further damage his body, slicing his feet on glass shards, tumbling down stairs, getting shot, crawling through ventilation ducts, and defying physics and death alike with a desperate leap from the rooftop with only a firehose as a lifeline!

McClane’s only ally and supporter in rescuing his equally spirited estranged wife is Powell.

If anyone knows about McClane’s stubborn nature, it’s his wife, Holly. A driven and determined career woman, Holly moved to Los Angeles with their kids to make a go out of it in the corporate world and, despite McClane’s doubts (and hopes), actually succeeded in her new role. Though warm, kind, and friendly, Holly is sick of McClane’s thick-headed ways and bullish nature; she has no problem calling him out or standing up to him and just wants to be treated with some respect. Although he knows what he needs to do to repair their relationship, McClane struggles to express himself and often falls back on accusations and jealousy, widening the gap between them. When she’s taken hostage, Holly remains calm and composed but brings the same fiery energy when she’s forced to speak up for her fellow colleagues in place of Takagi; even Gruber comments on her dependable and forthright nature, which helps her act as a mediator between the groups in a far more effective way than her coked-up colleague, Ellis. When she learns that McClane is at large in the building and causing Gruber trouble, Holly begins to hope; despite their differences, she knows that McClane will fight to the bitter end to get the job done, but even she is shocked by the state he’s in by the end. While Los Angeles’ finest are often more of a hinderance than help to the fatigued and aggravated McClane, his most vocal supporter outside of the tower is Sergeant Al Powell (VelJohnson), a Twinkie-loving father to be who’s struggling with guilt after accidentally shooting a kid. Alerted to gunfire and a disturbance at Nakatomi Plaza, Powell is horrified by what’s happening inside. Going with his gut, Powell becomes McClane’s primary contact, much to the ire of Deputy Chief Dwayne T. Robinson (Gleason). While Robinson believes McClane is as much of a problem as the terrorists, if not one of them, and prefers to go by the book and suck up to Agent Johnson and Johnson (Robert Davi and Grand L. Bush) of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), Powell is much more “boots on the ground” and helps McClane stay sane and motivated and to stop and think about the big picture regarding the takeover.

McClane feels very unappreciated by the bureaucratic and arrogant pen-pushers on the outside.

Although he means well, Robinson is clearly not used to being in the field; he refuses to listen to McClane’s warnings and outright criticises his attempts to help and desperately tries to negotiate with Gruber, completely oblivious to the fact that he’s being played for a fool. When the LAPD’s Special Weapons and Tactics (SWAT) team try to storm the tower by force, he witnesses a taste of Gruber’s firepower when Gruber’s men shoot out their spotlights and destroy the armoured transport vehicle (APV) with a rocket launcher. Rather than thank McClane for his assistance, which sees him kill several of Gruber’s men with a hastily-constructed bomb, Robinson chastises him for damaging the building, but even his ineffectual nature pales in comparison to the arrogant and self-righteous FBI agents. Even Powell can see that the FBI are just like Robinson, working from a checklist and foolishly believing that they’re in charge of the situation without realising that they’re just expediating Gruber’s plan and causing unnecessary danger. Indeed, the agents are so arrogant that they personally accompany the helicopters to retrieve the hostages, relishing the chance to kick some ass and paying the ultimate price for it when they’re caught in an explosion, despite McClane’s best efforts to ward them off (which almost get him killed!) As if that wasn’t bad enough, snivelling reporter Richard Thornburg (Atherton) learns of the commotion and forces himself into the investigation, doing a deep dive on McClane and his family in order to advance his career. This directly impacts the finale when Gruber learns of Holly’s connection to McClane from Thornburg’s invasive and wholly inappropriate report, which see her kids and family plastered all over the media. This is enough to earn him her undying wrath and she gives him a good sock to the jaw after finally being rescued, proving that her drive to protect her family is just as strong as her husband’s.

Composed psychopath Hans and his goons are riled up by McClane’s cowboy vendetta.

So, to say McClane is against the odds is putting it mildly. With only a single security guard on duty, he has no backup inside the building against Gruber’s heavily armed and physically imposing forces. McClane immediately antagonises Gruber’s most brutish henchman, Karl Vreski (Alexander Godunov), after he kills Karl’s brother, Tony (Andreas Wisniewski), in a brutal scuffle. A cold-blooded and merciless killer, Karl swears revenge and his burning need to kill McClane sees him disregard Gruber’s orders, warn his allies not to rob him of his quarry, and ends with him hanging from a chain, seemingly dead because of his vendetta. Gruber’s other most notable ally is Theo (Clarence Gilyard), the group’s wisecracking and enthusiastic tech specialist who happily applies his skills to cracking Takgaki’s safe, seeing it as a personal challenge, and directs his allies in fending off the SWAT team, laughing with glee at how outmatched the LAPD are against their firepower and his intellect. And then there’s Hans himself, a smooth talking, eloquent, unnervingly polite terrorist who commands not just the respect and loyalty of his crew but the attention of every room and scene he’s in. While he’s a reasonable man, Gruber is as psychotic as his underlings when pushed; he thinks nothing of executing Takagi and Ellis and is fully prepared to kill everyone in the building to pull off his heist, despite agreeing to Holly’s terms to treat the hostages humanely. Although positioned and selling himself as a revolutionary terrorist fighting against oppression, he’s actually little more than a common thief as his goal is to steal $640 million in untraceable bearer bonds from Takagi’s vault and abscond to a faraway beach, free from persecution thanks to his elaborate and well-executed plan. While he’s largely the commanding voice of reason and directs his men to focus on the big picture, such as retrieving his C4 explosives rather than wasting time and energy hunting McClane, he didn’t factor a lone New York cop into his schemes and his demeanour noticeably becomes more frustrated the more his operation is scuppered by this smart-mouthed “cowboy”. Gruber even comes face to face with McClane at one point when looking for his detonators and gains a deeper understanding about his foe; though Gruber’s accent and charade are good, McClane shows he’s more than a meathead by seeing through the act, but Gruber matches him at every turn, ordering Karl to “shoot the glass” when he notices McClane’s bare feet and even taking Holly hostage to ensure their escape in the finale.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’ve never understood the debate regarding Die Hard’s status as a Christmas movie. Every year, memes and posts and arguments rage about whether it “counts” as a Christmas movie when the evidence is pretty clear that it absolutely is a festive film. For starters, it takes place on Christmas Eve and at the Nakatomi Christmas party; that alone is enough to qualify in my book, but we’ve also got an abundance of Christmas decorations (including trees and presents), a hip Christmas song, and a Christmassy jingle laced into the film’s score. For me, all it takes is for a film to be set during the Christmas season for it to be considered a Christmas movie, making the entire debate redundant from my perspective; plus, it’s a great excuse to watch Die Hard while the turkey’s roasting. The Christmas setting is a great excuse to have Nakatomi Plaza be empty save for its partying employees; it also helps set up some great puns and aggrieved commentary from McClane, who regularly laments about how unfair the situation is. Thanks to a combination of fear, adrenaline, anxiety, and his own juvenile nature, McClane provides a running commentary throughout the film to himself, Powell, and his foes. It’s clear he does this to cope with the extreme danger of his situation, but it also showcases his investigative mind as he ponders the accents and gear of Gruber’s gang, chastises his own reckless behaviour and bad ideas at every opportunity, and assaults his enemies with colourful insults as much as bullets and body blows.

John McClane embodied a different type of action hero, a vulnerable, flawed, smart-ass everyman.

Whilst studying for my PhD thesis, I did a lot of background research into action cinema and, unsurprisingly, Die Hard came up quite a bit, especially regarding discussions of masculinity in Hollywood (and, specifically, this genre). For decades, action cinema and gender roles were defined by physicality; masculinity, especially, was embodied by hyper-masculine heroes like Schwarzenegger and Stallone, but this perception was challenged by the AIDS crisis and smaller, less troublesome statures and heroes became more prominent. Thus, not only did Stallone dramatically reconfigure his persona at this time, but McClane represented something very different to his peers; defined “through the voice, more wise-guy than tough-guy” (Tasker, 1993: 239), McClane was a “perpetual adolescent [who seemed] to be playing games”, cracking jokes and carrying “a sense of surprise and confusion that [the] explosive events are happening to him”. He thus personified the more relatable, rugged “Everyman” action hero; proactive individuals who faced danger not just with a fist or a gun but a smirk and a hefty amount of icy dialogue (ibid). However, McClane remains a figure of masculine power like his peers; Barry Grant (2007) noted that McClane survives multiple milestones throughout and ultimately triumphs, believing McClane’s heroics were linked to masculinity, patriarchy and their mythic representations since he conquers a clearly phallic structure, overcomes numerous male henchmen who challenge his masculinity, and ultimately defeats these villains to reclaim both his masculine potency and his wife. Indeed, Die Hard was noted by Steve Neale (2001) to be progressive in these gender codings as “fantasies of class- and gender-based resistance to the advent of a post-feminist/post-Fordist world [and] all the old lines of force and division between races, classes and genders are both transgressed and redrawn”. While you can read gender and political messages into almost any narrative, there’s some really interesting reading on the subject out there, especially in relation to Die Hard. I think what impresses me the most about this is how it allows the film, and this largely dismissed genre, to gain a bit more legitimacy in the eyes of academics; sure, it’s a bombastic action flick filled with blood squibs, wise cracks, and elaborate stunts but that doesn’t stop it from having intriguing academic appeal and opening discussions regarding gender roles.

Amidst the explosions and gunfights, Die Hard has a raw and brutal edge to its set pieces.

Indeed, while Die Hard is easily the most grounded and subdued of the franchise, which upped the ante to almost ridiculous (but no less entertaining) degrees, it still has some impressive set pieces, especially for a film set largely in one location. There’s the aforementioned APV assault, which sees the foyer rocked by explosions and ends with an impressive (if slightly dodgy) composite shot of McClane chucking C4 down an elevator shaft. And before this we have fun stuff like McClane blasting Marco (Lorenzo Caccialanza) through a table and then tossing him out a window, where he crashes onto Powell’s car and finally gets the LAPD out in full force. McClane’s fist fights with Tony and Karl are very brutal affairs; McClane takes quite a beating in each case and survives only by the skin of his teeth and is left sweaty and bloodied as a result. The damage he accumulates racks up to the point where he starts to consider that the odds aren’t looking too good in his favour; as he gingerly pulls glass shards from his feet, he tries to confide in Powell, who remains the steadfast voice of encouragement and hope. Things continue to escalate when Theo finally cracks the vault and Gruber enacts his final deception; he agrees to let the hostages go in exchange for safe passage on a helicopter, knowing full well that the FBI will double-cross him and rigging the rooftop landing pad to blow. Thanks to McClane, the hostages get to safety but Johnson and Johnson aren’t so lucky as their chopper is engulfed by the explosion. McClane, however, proves as resourceful as ever, leaping from the roof with a firehose as a makeshift safety line and smashing his way back into the building, narrowly avoiding a fatal fall in the process. Indeed, the film’s title is certainly apt as McClane continually avoids death even when he should probably have died several times over, though this takes a visual toll on his body and his mind as the film progresses, with him becoming noticeably bloodier and more desperate as things escalate.

An injured and exhausted McClane ultimately topples Gruber and reunites with his wife.

Thankfully, Powell in on hand to keep him together; their many radio exchanges see Powell shamefully admit to his mistake, which saw him transfer to a desk job and holster his revolver, an emotional arc that reaches a crescendo in the film’s final moments when Powell is forced to shoot Karl dead when he suddenly springs to life, thus allowing Powell to regain his confidence (and, if you want to read it that way, his own sense of masculinity; guns are a very phallic object, after all). After spending the whole movie pretending to be this cultured, intellectual terrorist revolutionary, Holly is disgusted and stunned to learn that Gruber’s simply in it for the money. Although many of his men have been killed by McClane, Gruber finally gets into Takagi’s safe and prepares to make his getaway, taking Holly as his hostage for collateral. However, McClane stumbles out from the embers, exhausted and bloody, to confront Gruber once more; as ever, though, he’s outnumbered and outgunned and dare not make a move since Gruber has Holly at gunpoint. With no other choice, McClane drops his gun and surrenders to Gruber, who prepares to shoot him and mockingly repeats a taunt McClane had flippantly thrown his way earlier, “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuker”, causing them both to break out in laughter. This is all the distraction McClane needs to enact his final, desperate gambit; with his hands behind his head in a submissive gesture, he retrieves a pistol he taped to his back, guns down Eddie (Dennis Haden), and incapacitates Gruber with a shot, despite taking another bullet in the process. This sees the mortally wounded Gruber topple out the window, but he proves as persistent as his nemesis; caught up on Holly’s wristwatch (a gift from Takagi for her hard work), he prepares to shoot McClane only to be sent suddenly plunging to his death when McClane rips the watch from his wife’s wrist, symbolically shedding Holly from her career and returning her into the arms of her grateful and remorseful husband, their relationship having been galvanised by the whole traumatic ordeal.

The Summary:
Christmas is a great time of year. The food, the atmosphere, the presents…and the movies! Every year, I get to re-watch some of my favourite Christmas-themed films and Die Hard absolutely makes that list. Yes, you can (and should) watch it any time of the year but why not at Christmas, when the movie is set? Honestly, this is one of the all-time greats of the genre; more of an action/thriller, the film is a hugely entertaining depiction of one tenacious man’s fight against overwhelming odds and, while it can sometimes feel a little lengthy, it’s very fun and always enjoyable to watch every time. John McClane is a very different type of action hero; he’s vulnerable and flawed and has a smart mouth and a never-say-die attitude. He’s the perfect monkey wrench in Hans Gruber’s meticulous plot to get rich quick and the dichotomy between the two is half the fun of the movie. Even though they share very little screen time together, you can see them both growing more desperate and riled up and eager to take the other out as the film progresses, and this rising tension is both palpable and reflected in the escalating violence and destruction. I loved McClane’s snarky attitude, his quips and one-liners, and the humanising relationship between him and Al Powell, which really helps you remember that these action heroes are just normal people, deep down beneath the machismo. Another thing I love is how raw Die Hard is; it’s grounded and dirty and gritty and it really makes you feel it every time McClane takes a shot or a beating or a fall. Although it’s easy to just turn your brain off and enjoy a good time, I do like how the film invites deeper readings and academic discussion with its depiction of gender, masculinity, and violence. For me, Die Hard has endured the test of time; it reinvigorated the action genre and created one of the best protagonists of action cinema and it’s one of those films I both genuinely look forward to watching time and time again and which just gets better the more you watch it.

My Rating:

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Fantastic

Are you a fan of Die Hard? Did you like how it reinvigorated the action genre with a snarky everyman hero or are you a fan of the more over-the-top protagonists? What did you think to Hans Gruber’s plan, his portrayal, and his crew? Did you enjoy McClane’s tenacity and snarky attitude? What did you think to the set pieces? Do you consider Die Hard to be a Christmas movie? What are your plans for Christmas Day today? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to comment down before and have a great Christmas!

Movie Night [Doomsday]: Snowpiercer

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Over the years, there have been many theories about when the world will end but one of the more prevalent was the mistaken belief that doomsday would befall us on December 21st 2012 based on the Mayan calendar ending on this day. Of course, not only did this not happen but it wasn’t even based on any actual fact to begin with. Still, doomsday scenarios and depictions of the end of the world have been an enduring genre in fiction so I figure today was a good day to dedicate some time to this popular concept.

Released: 29 July 2013
Director: Bong Joon-ho
Distributor: CJ Entertainment/Lionsgate
Budget: $40 million
Stars: Chris Evans, Song Kang-ho, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, John Hurt, and Ed Harris

The Plot:
After an attempt to reverse global warming causes an ice age to render the Earth uninhabitable, the remnants of humanity are crammed into a circumnavigational train, the Snowpiercer, where the elite thrive in the extravagant front cars and the poor struggle in squalid tail-end compartments. With tensions rising, Curtis Everett (Evans) prepares to lead an uprising against the train’s domineering authority, represented by Minister Mason (Swinton).

The Background:
Snowpiercer began life as a French language graphic novel, Le Transperceneige (Lob, et al, 1982); after discovering a copy in a South Korean comic book shop in 2005, director Bong Koon-ho was immediately fascinated by the story’s depiction of social classes desperately vying for survival in a claustrophobic, post-apocalyptic scenario. Despite his fascination with the graphic novel, and having secured the rights to a live-action adaptation thanks to his friendship with fellow director Park Chan-wook, development of the film took a great deal of time to get off the ground. Star Chris Evans came on board (no pun intended) in 2012; although he brought with him a mainstream star power thanks to his prominence in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bong had to employ some clever filmmaking techniques to hide the actor’s muscular physique during filming. Featuring some complex practical and computer effects to render the titular train’s numerous cars and the desolate frozen wasteland of the outside world, Snowpiercer had the largest film budget of all time for any film with Korean investors but its theatrical release was limited to South Korea at the time. Still, while Snowpiercer’s box office may not have been the most spectacular, the film received largely positive reviews, was widely regarded as one of the best films of 2014, and eventually led to a television adaptation in 2020.

The Review:
Snowpiercer presents a unique spin on the concept of a global disaster movie; while we’ve seen ice ages and frozen Earth films before, I’m hard pressed to think of one where we were directly, unequivocally responsible for the planet becoming a block of ice and snow much less one where the few remnants of humanity were crammed inside a world-spanning, perpetual motion train.

The tail section lives in abject poverty and is routinely abused by the upper classes.

Immediately, the film’s depiction of class and social segregation is made explicitly clear; Curtis, his young friend Edgar (Bell), and his fellow lower classes are forced to live in abject poverty and extremely cramped, disgusting conditions like homeless vagrants. Muddy, dishevelled, and little more than meek, subservient cattle, the lower ends are fed nauseating protein blocks and held at the mercy of the upper classes and the train’s armed guards, who do not hesitate to beat them mercilessly or tear children away from their mothers. Curtis, a principal figurehead amidst the dregs of the train, is very much a reluctant leader and uncomfortable with his position after a traumatic experience in the past. Indebted to Gilliam (Hurt), the aged, half-crippled true leader of the resistance movement, Curtis begrudgingly uses his powers of observation and force of will to help co-operate with prisoner Namgoong “Nam” Minsoo (Kang-ho) in a desperate attempt to storm the train’s length to seize control of the engine (and, thus, the “world”), and kill its operator, Wilford (Harris).

Much to Curtis’s chagrin, Edgar worships and looks up to him as a leader and a brother.

Much to Curtis’s chagrin, Edgar worships him as a hero and leader and sees him as something of an older brother; optimistic and full of fight, Edgar is willing to follow Curtis into the fray, which greatly disturbs Curtis as he believes that Edgar is willing to die for nothing. Their relationship is one based on both necessity and a lifetime of lies as Curtis carries tremendous guilt after he nearly killed and ate Edgar when he was just a baby. Such abject mania and cannibalism was rife in the early days of the train and many of the back-end’s inhabitants, such as Gilliam, are missing limbs after being willingly (or forced) to offer sustenance to their fellow passengers.

Snowpiercer features a diverse cast, making communication another source of contention.

Snowpiercer features an extremely diverse cast, with many of the supporting characters being South Korean actors; the most prominent of which is Curtis’s contact, Nam, and his seventeen-year-old daughter, Yona (Ko Asung). Both are addicted to a coal-like waste by-product, Kronole, which offers abusers a hallucinogenic high, yet Nam is instrumental to their efforts since he designed all the doors and locks on the train and his daughter exhibits some degree of clairvoyance. Since Namgoong mainly communicates in Korean, Curtis and the others are forced to communicate with him through the use of an unreliable mechanical translation device, though there are many instances of subtitles as well.

Mason is an abominable, despicable coward who’s only looking after her own self interests.

The upper classes are condescending, well-kept, and ruthless individuals who regularly lord their position and power over the lower classes; none embody Wilford’s order or the will of the upper class more than the detestable Minister Mason. A comical figure in many ways, sporting a pompous Yorkshire accent, an elaborate sense of style, and a self-righteous attitude, she stresses the importance of social order and subjugation through capital punishment and fully believes that everyone, and everything, must adhere to their pre-ordained place to maintain society and order.

Against overwhelming odds and cruel oppressors, Curtis’s rebellion is a bloody and brutal affair.

Even after decades of suppression and failed revolutions, which have resulted in countless deaths and mutilations, the lower classes maintain a degree of resistance and fighting spirit; thankfully, those same years have taken their toll on the upper classes, who have not only become complacent but have also run out of bullets over the years. As a result, Curtis’s campaign to seize the train takes the guards completely off-guard and is, initially, somewhat successful. Along the way, they discover to repulsive truth behind the protein bars and are enamoured by seeing the sun, the outside world, and the opulence of the upper classes. Much death and violence accompany this push to the front, however, resulting in the sudden death of Edgar and turning Curtis’s mission into one of revenge as much as liberty.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Snowpiercer is an extremely bleak and claustrophobic tale, full of dark, desolate lighting and a surprising variety of environments considering the entire film takes place on overcrowded train carts. The back end is a grim, gloomy area that is little more than a slum but, as Curtis’s revolution proceeds through the train, environments become much more elaborate and ornate as we see the luxury and indulgence that the upper class surround themselves in.

The train’s construction and stability raises some questions but it’s definitely a unique premise.

This includes a fully-functioning school (which teaches the children of the upper class to respect and pay reverence to the train and to Wilford as though they are some kind of religious icon), lavish first-class cabins equipped with lighting, heating, and actual cooked food, and such extravagances as musicians and even a greenhouse, aquarium, and hot tubs. Of course, as with many post-apocalyptic tales, there are some questions raised by Snowpiercer’s concept and left unanswered: the train is, by definition, a perpetual motion engine that circles the world endlessly thanks to being powered by small children but, while we see it precariously clinging to the tracks throughout the film, it’s pretty obvious that the train, its tracks, or the many bridges would surely have degraded or been destroyed by the extreme cold.

It’s a hard life in an even harsher world and revolution carries a heavy cost.

Still, I can forgive a lot of these questions mainly because the film does go to some lengths to address some of the main ones (by explaining that Wilford had the foresight and the capital to prepare his train tracks and engine before the world went to Hell) and the rest are best left to one side as a degree of suspension of disbelief is necessary to allow the film to actually happen. Additionally, the overall concept of the subjugated lower classes rising in a desperate suicide mission to take control of the train is compelling enough to carry the film even through its more preposterous ideas. After a particularly bloody and costly battle through the train, Curtis secures safe passage through the train by taking Mason hostage and is disgusted to see the extent to which the upper classes indulge themselves. At the mercy of the lower classes, Mason’s previously haughty attitude and lofty position is shattered as she is force-fed the protein blocks and sells out her beloved Wilford purely to save her own wretched hide. Thankfully, as satisfying as it is to see her reduced to a blubbering wreck, she gets her ultimate comeuppance when she is duly executed by Curtis not only for the deaths and suffering she has willing taking part in over the years but also for indirectly being responsible for Gilliam’s death.

After Curtis rejects Wilford and derails the train, the two survivors face an uncertain future.

There are a number of dramatic twists that await Curtis at the head of the train; the first is that Gilliam and Wilford conspired to inspire Curtis’s rebellion simply to maintain the train’s delicate and ghastly self-sustaining ecosystem by killing off a large portion of the tail section. The second is that Wilford, seeing the need for a successor, offers Curtis the opportunity to take over as the train’s operator but, while he is tempted, having lost everything and in the face of mass executions, Curtis violently refuses when Yona reveals that the engine is powered by children from the tail section. In that moment, Curtis finally sacrifices not just a limb for his fellow passengers but also himself to derail the train and leave Yuna and the boy, Timmy (Marcanthonee Reis), to an uncertain future in a world that may be slowly thawing.

The Summary:
Snowpiercer is a fantastically dreary and depressing tale about the decaying and desperate remnants of humanity being forced into a claustrophobic space, separated by class and social standing, and forced to either scramble for survival and scraps and eek out a pathetic existence in the tail end or indulge in their every desire and whim at the front end. Trapped under the thumb of their oppressors and driven by hunger and desperation, Curtis is determined to see his mission through simply because of the suffering and death he has witnessed first-hand and his hatred of both himself and Wilford for forcing them to live in such conditions. As far as post-apocalyptic tales go, you could do a lot worse than Snowpiercer, which expertly focuses its narrative on this fragile ecosystem and presents a desolate, desperate tale of survival within a suffocating, oppressive space that separates it from its competition and results in a bleak and intense story of desperation and survival.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Snowpiercer? How do you feel it holds up against other post-apocalyptic tales? Were you a fan of the social and class issues represented in the film and or did its bleak atmosphere put you off? Have you read the original graphic novel and, if so, how do you feel Snowpiercer works as an adaptation? Perhaps you were more a fan of the later television adaptation; if so, why is that and how does it compare to the film? How are you celebrating the end of the world today? Whatever your thoughts on Snowpiercer, feel free to leave a comment down below.

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Home Alone

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 16 November 1990
Director: Chris Columbus
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $18 million
Stars: Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, and Roberts Blossom

The Plot:
When bratty eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Culkin) acts out the night before a family trip to Paris, his mother, Kate (O’Hara), makes him sleep in the attic. After the McCallisters mistakenly leave without Kevin, he is left to defend his home from career burglars Harry (Pesci) and Marv (Stern).

The Background:
A serious contender for the greatest Christmas movie ever made, Home Alone was the brainchild of writer and producer John Hughes, who conceived of the general premise while on holiday. Hughes parlayed with both Warner Bros. and 20th Century Fox to give himself a safety net should the film go over budget, and turned to Chris Columbus to direct after the latter had a falling out with star Chevy Chase. Although Hughes pushed for Macaulay Culkin to be cast, Columbus auditioned over two hundred children for the lead role before finally agreeing that Culkin was the best fit, and filming of nighttime scenes was restricted to accommodate his age. Co-star Joe Pesci proved more troublesome to the shoot than the child actor, however, as he was angered by the early starts and struggled to keep himself from swearing. The severity of the film’s stunts also caused some tension during filming, which resulted in Culkin being permanently scarred and a real tarantula being placed on co-star Daniel Stern’s face. Home Alone was a ridiculous success at the time, grossing over $475 million at the box office and being met by largely positive reviews. While the plot and its elaborate traps were criticised, the heart-warming comedy, performances, and Culkin gained the most praise. Over the years, it’s been pegged as a Christmas classic, despite sequels diluting the premise with redundant retreads, and is a Christmas tradition more many, including myself, over the festive season.

The Review:
It’s difficult to think of a movie more synonymous with the Christmas season than this one; maybe Miracle on 34th Street (Mayfield, 1984) or Santa Claus: The Movie (Szwarc, 1985), but it’s a tough call. It’s one of those Christmas movies that’s always on every year and has become as much of a tradition as crackers and pigs in blankets. The film is a whimsical family comedy, but you wouldn’t really know that from the opening moments; when we’re introduced to the lavish McCallister family home, it’s the definition of chaotic, with screaming kids running everywhere, arguing, and their parents being just as bad. They’re all in a tizzy because they’re leaving for the airport in the morning for a luxurious Christmas getaway to France, and so preoccupied with their own problems that none of them notice (or question) the uniformed police officer desperately trying to get their attention. Although they don’t suspect a thing since this was a simpler time, the cop is actually Harry in disguise, covertly casing the neighbourhood to get a sense of its security precautions, something that McCallister patriarch Peter (Heard) really doesn’t seem all that bothered about. Peter’s happy to rely on his automatic lights and locks and such, which really goes a long way to show you how much this unexplainably rich family takes their home (and everything, for that matter) for granted. All the stress of packing and organising such a huge trip means that matriarch Kate (O’Hara) has even less patience for her youngest son’s bratty behaviour than usual; the smallest of his siblings, Kevin is ridiculed by brutish older brother Buzz (Devin Ratray) and snobby sister Linnie (Angela Goethals) for his helplessness since he’s so reliant on his mother that he can’t even pack his own suitcase for the trip.

Fed up of his neglectful family, Kevin revels in finally having his freedom.

There’s a sense that Kevin is frequently forgotten or dismissed even without his extended family in the house; with them there, he hasn’t a chance of being attended to, loses his room to his tight-fisted and grouchy uncle Frank (Gerry Bamman), and is horrified at the prospect of sharing a bed with his young cousin, Fuller (Kieran Culkin), due to his bedwetting. In a house full of noise, Kevin’s only outlet is to be louder than everyone else; he brazenly backchats his mother, offers false apologies when he’s punished for acting out, and causes the ire of his entire family when he rightly lashes out at Buzz for eating his pizza. Despite there being plenty of blame to go around, it’s easier for Kate to punish Kevin by sending him up to the third floor, and Kevin spitefully protests this injustice by wishing that she (and all of them) would disappear and leave him alone. Of course, he has no idea that fate has conspired to make this wish come true; Kevin’s plane ticket was accidentally thrown away while cleaning up his mess, Peter accidentally unplugs the alarm clock and causes them to oversleep and rush around in a panic in the morning, and an annoying neighbourhood kid (Jeffrey Wiseman) throws off Heather McCallister’s (Kristin Minter) head count, meaning nobody notices that Kevin is missing until they’re halfway to Paris (and even then it’s a strange intuition Kate suddenly has for no real reason other than a mother’s instinct). Thus, Kevin’s stunned when he finds his house empty, but this turns to elation when he remembers all the awful things his family has said and done to him, and he immediately indulges his every whim. He robs Buzz’s “life savings” (accidentally trashing his room and setting his pet tarantula loose in the process), orders himself a cheese pizza, eats copious amounts of ice cream and junk food while watching trash TV, and generally has the time of his life, all while narrating to himself and occasionally calling out to his family to punish his behaviour. Of course, it’s not all fun and games for Kevin; he applies aftershave and ends up screaming in agony and is forced to go shopping for a new toothbrush and groceries, overpacking his bags and inadvertently shoplifting after being spooked by his neighbour, Old Man Marley (Blossom), whom he’s terrified of thanks to Buzz’s wild stories of his bloodlust.

As if scary Old Man Marley wasn’t bad enough, Kevin must protect his home from the Wet Bandits.

Although continuously terrified by the old man’s grim façade, this fear is just the start of Kevin’s troubles; unbeknownst to him, Harry and Marv have systematically been robbing every house in the neighbourhood since everyone’s gone away for the holidays and left their homes vulnerable. Although far from an intelligent crook, Harry is clearly the brains of the operation; he cases out each house, evaluating their potential and noting when their security measures, and chastises the dim-witted Marv for his perverse fixation on flooding houses to earn them a reputation as the “Wet Bandits”. While Harry is methodical and meticulous, Marv is loud and bumbling, focused more on haphazardly filling his swag bag rather than searching for high value items. Harry pegs the McCallister’s as the “silver tuna” (mainly because they live in a palace!) and is astonished to find the house seemingly occupied when they go to enter it. Night after night they are dissuaded by Kevin’s elaborate deceptions, mannequins and pulleys to trick them into thinking the house is occupied. Obsessed with ransacking the house, Harry follows Kevin and quickly deduces that he’s home alone; confident that the two of them and their crowbars can handle one little boy, Harry resolves to use force but even doesn’t account for how adaptable (and cruel) Kevin is when backed against the wall. What follows is an absolute massacre that sees the two thieves beaten up, knocked about, and brutalised by Kevin’s homemade traps, each one driving Harry further and further over the edge. Pesci shines in his role as the bad-tempered thief, and you can really tell from his indistinct mumbling, garbled curses, and rising frustration that he was really living his character’s aggravation with this obnoxious little foe.

With their trip ruined, a distraught Kate desperately tries to get back home to her son.

As this is going on, the story continuously jumps over to the McCallister’s, whose Christmas vacation is effectively ruined by the realisation that they left Kevin behind; though Buzz and Frank aren’t concerned, the fun and excitement of the trip has been sucked out of everyone else, compounded by them being stuck in an apartment with nothing to do while Peter waits to hear about potential flights. Wracked with guilt and determined to make it back by any means necessary, Kate stays at the airport and wait for a cancellation after every attempt to call their neighbours and elicit the police’s assistance conveniently fails. Although Kate convinces a kindly old couple (Bill Erwin and Billie Bird) to trade some cash and valuables for a plane trip back to the United States, she’s forced to bounce around airports since she can’t get a direct flight back and naturally becomes frustrated from exhaustion and desperation. Luckily for her, friendly polka musician Gus Polinski (John Candy) takes pity on her; after rambling about his band, their success overseas, and their own transportation issues, he offers her a ride in their van, which she gratefully accepts. Although relieved to finally be on her way, and finding kindred spirits in the band since they’ve lost a lot of time with their families while on the road, she’s bombarded by upbeat polka music and endures Gus’s bizarre story of the time he left his own son in a funeral parlour. While this makes for good comedy and helps to humanise Kate after she was such a snappy bitch, I do feel there could’ve been more to this, I assume they were only able to get the late, great John candy for a day or two so he’s just a glorified cameo but I would’ve liked to see Kate spend more time reflecting on her relationship with Kevin with Gus and the band and less time screaming at airport employees. Speaking of humanising, Kevin is surprised to find that Old Man Marley isn’t the grouchy killer he’d been led to believe; while seeking solace in church after regretting taking his family for granted, Kevin speaks with Marley and learns he’s been branded by cruel lies and is actually a kindly old man who’s estranged from his family. The conversation helps Kevin to better understand his own relationship with his family, galvanises his fighting spirit, and sees Marley become an unexpected saviour in the finale, all while reinforcing the true meaning of Christmas: family.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Home Alone is certainly a product of its time and is far from perfect, but it has a quaint charm that only increases with time. Nowadays, this situation would be resolved in a heartbeat as Kevin could easily call or message his family, but that wasn’t really possible in 1990. It also doesn’t help that the power and phone lines are temporarily (and conveniently) knocked out in the opening scene, limiting Kate’s options, or that everyone in their neighbourhood also happens to be out of town at the same time. I can excuse this just by looking at the McCallister’s house and their neighbourhood; this is clearly a wealthy area, populated by the same kind of people as the McCallister’s, so it makes sense that the well-to-do would jet off over Christmas. However, one thing I’ve never been able to believe is that the McCallister’s were able to get up, get changed, load all their shit into the airport buses, get to the airport, and still make their flight in less than an hour! Even if they hadn’t overslept, I find it very difficult to believe that they’d even get to the airport on time; the lack of airport security is somewhat believable as things were different back then but, realistically, they would’ve been stuck in traffic, at the airport waiting for a later flight, or forced to head home anyway since they should’ve gotten there a good two hours early. Does this detract from my enjoyment of the film? Not at all. It’s a fun little eccentricity that, as I say, only gets more amusing the further we get from the antiquated nineties.

Thanks to his traps, Kevin fends off the thieves and gratefully reunites with his family.

Although he’s just a little boy who is apparently incapable of doing anything without parental guidance, Kevin proves to be a capable and adaptable defender thanks to his many toys, his vast imagination, and his devious and sadistic nature. In less than an hour, he draws up a battle plan that sees him planting a nail on the cellar stairs, flash freezing the stone pathways and steps, leaving broken Christmas ornaments by the window, rigging paint cans, irons, and other items to bash the crooks, and even scorches Harry’s head with a blowtorch! Kevin shoots his foes in the face and crotch, sets up Micro Machines to trip them, and even makes use of Buzz’s pet tarantula when in a tight pinch. It’s all very amusing and entertaining stuff but, while Harry and Marv suffer only superficial and comical injuries as the film turns into a live-action cartoon, the implications of these booby traps are staggering as many would surely be fatal in real life! Although Kevin rigs his house with all these traps and pratfalls, he’s smart enough to have a back-up plan that sees him lure the Wet Bandits into a trap after alerting the police, only for the two to intercept him, battered and hungry for revenge. Luckily, Old Man Marley saves Kevin’s bacon and the two are apprehended, easily charged with all their crimes thanks to Marv’s flooding obsession, but Kevin is still left all alone and morose at having apparently wished away his family. Hoping for a Christmas miracle he tidies and decorates the house only to wake up and find it still empty. This is, of course, a fake-out as Kate arrives soon after, mere moments before the rest of the family, and reconciles with Kevin. Even Buzz is impressed that Kevin didn’t burn the house down, briefly showing Him respect before he sees the state of his room, and Kevin has an emotional embrace with his mother that echoes Marley’s own reconciliation with his estranged family, ending the film on a heart-warming note.

The Summary:
Christmas isn’t Christmas without Home Alone, but I do admit that my affection for the film has waned as I’ve gotten older and more cynical. There’s something about live-action, feel-good family movies that just doesn’t age as well as animated films, particularly when it comes to Looney Tunes-style violence that turns what was a grounded (if whimsical) film into a live-action cartoon, somewhat lowering the stakes even when Harry and Marv get their hands on Kevin. It also doesn’t help that I’ve never been a big fan of Macaulay Culkin; sure, he’s just a little boy here and he definitely does well in the role, but his delivery is a bit cringey at times and Kevin is so unlikeable in the opening and obnoxious when left alone that I find it hard to root for him. I enjoy the wish-fulfilment aspects of the film, where Kevin just goes nuts around the house and with food and acting like a grown-up while still being a little kid, and it’s definitely heart-warming seeing both him and Kate (and the rest of the family) realise how much they mean too each other. But, for me, the appeal of the film is the Wet Bandits; Marv might be an idiot, but Harry is so alluring as a cantankerous, scheming thief whose patience is pushed to the limit by Kevin’s traps and antics. Seeing them fall afoul of Kevin’s booby traps is still the best part of the film, even if it does drastically shift the tone, and I enjoyed the imagination and mischievousness behind Kevin’s antics and traps, I just wish that we’d had some inkling of his ability to set these up beforehand. He goes from a bratty, underappreciated kid to a free-spirited child to setting potentially lethal traps pretty quickly, which I guess speaks to how everyone (even he) underestimates him, but I could’ve done with this being fleshed out a little since we were specifically told that he was Les Incompétents. Ultimately, these are minor gripes from a bitter and aging film nerd; kids and youngsters will still find plenty to enjoy here, even if the film is heavily dated in some aspects, and Home Alone is still a staple of the festive season despite its flaws.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

What do you think to Home Alone? Is it a Christmas tradition of yours or do you prefer another Christmas movie; if so, what is it? What did you think to Macaulay Culkin’s performance? Did you enjoy seeing his bobby traps in action? What did you think to the Wet Bandits and Kate’s desperate attempts to get home to her son? Have you ever been left home alone? What did you think to the film’s sequels? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and be sure to check out my other Christmas movie reviews!

Back Issues: Aquaman #35

Dr. K1 Comment

Story Title: “Between Two Dooms!”
Published: August 1967
Writer: Bob Haney
Artists: Nick Cardy

The Background:
In November 1941, readers of More Fun Comics were introduced to Arthur Curry/Aquaman for the first time; while superficially appearing to be a knock-off of writer/artist Bill Everett’s Prince Namor McKenzie/The Sub-Mariner, the two aquatic supermen are actually very different characters. Mort Weisinger and Paul Norris created the character as part of DC Comics’ (then known as National Comics) call for new costumed heroes to captialise on the success of Clark Kent/Superman and Bruce Wayne/Batman, and Aquaman proved popular enough to prominently feature throughout the 1950s and beyond. In addition to seeing his cast of supporting characters expand to include a wife and ill-fated son, Aquaman amassed quite the gallery of nautical rogues; while his half-brother, Orm Marius/Ocean Master, tops most lists as his archnemesis, one of his most persistent antagonists is David Hyde/Black Manta. Initially debuting without a definitive origin, Black Manta was revealed to have a deep-seated hatred for Aquaman (and the sea as a whole) and proved to be a malicious and dangerous adversary;. Utilising a number of weapons and technology built into his distinctive battle suit, Black Manta was responsible for the death of Aquaman’s aforementioned son and frequently clashed with the Atlantean King alongside the Injustice Society. Black Manta has proven persistent enough to appear in DC’s animated ventures and videogames and made his live-action debut in Aquaman (Wan, 2018), where acclaimed actor Yahya Abdul-Mateen II shined in the role of secondary antagonist and promised to further explore the character in the sequel.

The Review:
Our story begins deep beneath the ocean at the long-lost underwater city of Atlantis, now prosperous and protected by an impenetrable dome and home to the Atlantean Royal family: Aquaman, his wife, Mera, their babbling baby, Arthur Curry, Jr./Aquababy, and Aquaman’s teenage sidekick, Garth/Aqualad. Like their fellow citizens, the three are startled when a menacing submarine begins orbiting their city, but both Mera and Aqualad are aghast when Aquaman volenteers to investigate alone; he states, very plainly, that it’s his duty as the Guardian of Atlantis and that he relies on Aqualad to safeguard the city in his absence, and then torpedoes himself towards the sinister-looking craft. Upon latching onto the submarine, a slew of comically expressive mutated Manta-Men burst forth, cluing Aquaman in that it’s the work of his old enemy, Black Manta. Black Manta has come more than prepared, trapping Aquaman to the ship’s hull through “bio-magnetics” and leaving him an open target for the Manta-Men’s deadly stun blasts and unable to intercept the villain’s assault on Atlantis. In an altogether different, far sleeker underwater craft, Black Manta heads towards Atlantis; garbed in an armoured outfit and sporting two enormous, glowing eyes on his helmeted head, Black Manta mocks Aquaman’s foolishness as he attaches a strange tube to the outer dome that protects the city. Within, Atlantis’s leading scientist, Doctor Nuidis Vulko assures Queen Mera and Aqualad that the dome cannot be penetrated, but both of them are horrified to see Aquaman under attack on their “radar-video” and, despite Aquaman’s orders, marshal themselves to go to his aid, with Mera using her command over water to open the heavily-guarded main lock and Aqualad commanding two giant seahorses, Imp and Storm, to carry them to their king.

Black Manta leads a life-changing assault on Atlantis and even kidnaps Aquababy!

They arrive just as Aquaman is heaving the ship into a spin, thereby making himself a more difficult target, and Mera promptly destroys Black Manta’s craft with a massive hammer made from “hard water”. Despite Dr. Vulco’s assurances, Black Manta throws Atlantis into chaos by using a “photon transducer ray” to bombard the dome with concentrated light particles that flash-boil the city’s water, forcing Dr. Vulco to empty Atlantis of the life-giving liquid and dooming its inhabitants to death as they cannot survive outside of water for longer than one hour. Although grateful for the assistance, Aquaman chastises Aqualad for leaving Atlantis undefended and orders the three of them back to the city to intercept Black Manta, where Aquaman is aghast to find the city empty of water. Black Manta’s efforts have succeeded all too well; Dr. Vulco’s attempts to refill Atlantis with water are met with disaster and he’s equally unsuccessful at removing the chemical substance the villain has affixed to the dome, potentially dooming the Atlanteans. With no options left, Aquaman orders Dr. Vulco to employ “Project X”, a radical solution that sees every Atlanetan administered with a serum that enables them to breathe air, with the exception of the Royal Family as they’re needed to protect the waters. The serum has a near-instantaneous effect, thereby nullifying Black Manta’s threat and temporarily causing his tactical retreat. Aquaman takes Aqualad into the ocean to ensure that the threat has finally passed and, mere moments after they’ve gone, Black Manta threatens the city once more, this time by launching a missile at them and kidnapping Aquababy after rendering Mera unconscious with a strange mist emitted from his craft. With the leverage swung back in his favour, Black Manta orders Aquaman to surrender in return for his son’s life and Aquaman has no choice but to give in to the villain’s demands.

Surprisingly, it’s the villainous Ocean Master who comes to the aid of Aquaman and his son.

Although Black Manta goes back on his word and attempts to have both Aquaman and his child as his prize, the villainous Ocean Master just happens to be passing by, himself swearing revenge against Atlantis and his half-brother, and intercepts Aquababy simply to have the pleasure of destroying Aquaman for himself. Helpless within Black Manta’s strange, unbreakable capsule…thing…Aquaman can only watch as his two foes wage war on each other using their crafts, with Aquababy at risk from the devastating missile salvo. Following an underwater dogfight, Ocean Master lands a crippling blow to Black Manta and causes his craft to crash into a coral reef. However, Black Manta scuppers Orm’s ship with one final missile, leaving him unconscious and at the mercy of his monstrous Manta-Men. Thankfully for the would-be despot, Aquababy has taken a shine to him and uses his own command over hard water to fend off the mutated monstrosities, much to Ocean Master’s chagrin as he’s humiliated to owe his life to the son of his worst enemy. Meanwhile, Aquaman asks two whales to free him and he engages Black Manta head on, only to be wounded by the villain’s harpoon gun and left staring death in the face. At the last second, Aquaman’s life is spared by a begrudging Ocean Master, who grapples with Black Manta and the two engage in a brutal fist fight even as they’re being carried away by a powerful (and convenient) current. Black Manta’s fate is left ambiguous, but Ocean Master returns to find Aquababy crawling alone, so he delivers him to his unconscious foe; however, this one act of charity is accompanied by the promise of one day battling and ending Aquaman in the near future. When he comes to, Aquaman is overjoyed to find Aquababy safe and sound; Mera and Aqualad are equally happy to find them both alive, and the threat having been ended, but none of them notice an envious Ocean Master glaring at them from the murky depths and swearing to conquer Atlantis.

The Summary:
A lot has changed between Aquaman’s debut story and this issue; Atlantis is now a thriving underwater community, a city inhabited by sea-breathers and protected by its impenetrable dome. Aquaman also appears to be somewhat revised, now installed as king of Atlantis and having bolstered his social circle with friends and family. His overall demeanour remains unnervingly chirpy; his dialogue is a little too “hip” for my tastes at times and it’s a little cringy to see him refer to Aqualand as “Tadpole”, but this is nothing compared to Aqualad’s excited exclamations. In the style of quintessential boy sidekick Dick Grayson/Robin, Aqualad is not only impulsive and eager to battle at the side of his mentor and king, but also prone to spitting out such cries as “Holy Haddocks!”, “Suffering Swordish!”, and “Wailing Wolf Fish!” While he doesn’t really get much to do in this story, Aquaman clearly trusts Aqualad to safeguard Atlantis in his absence and he appears to share many of the same abilities as his mentor, but he’s not depicted nearly as capable as the water-bending Mera. While Mera is largely defined by her role as a wife and a mother, and thus has some of that air-headed demeanour that was commonplace in female comics characters back in the day, her ability to create hard water constructs and willingness to battle at Aquaman’s side show there’s more to her than just being a bit of arm candy.

A dramatic debut sadly somewhat overshadowed by Aquaman’s extended cast and villains.

Aquaman himself is generally depicted as a proud and dutiful defender of his city and its people; at the first sign of danger, he volunteers to meet it head-on, but his impulsiveness leads to him falling for Black Manta’s trap and almost being blasted to smithereens by his ridiculous Manta-Men. Although this is Black Manta’s first appearance, the dialogue indicates that this isn’t the first time he’s battled Aquaman or Ocean Master; we don’t get any kind flashback hinting at the villain’s origin or true name and appearance and he’s largely absent for most of the story, represented mainly by his various armoured crafts and his monstrous underlings. When he does appear, he’s a pretty intimidating figure with his armoured outfit and distinctive helmet, and he makes quite an impression by constantly fooling Aquaman, boiling Atlantis’s water and forcing them to undergo physiological (and presumably permanent) changes in order to survive, and even stooping so low as to kidnap Aquababy all to get his hands on Aquaman, who he injures and drives to the point of exhaustion. Black Manta also goes toe-to-toe with Aquaman’s half-brother Ocean Master, whose appearance somewhat pads this story be is actually quite beneficial to his character; though he has every reason to hate Atlantis and Aquaman and is as driven to destroy both as Black Manta, Ocean Master actively opposes Black Manta simply to have the honouring of conquering Atlantis and killing Aquaman. Him going out of his way to save Aquababy also shows that Orm has a code of honour unlike most villains and he ends the story being reasonably well-rounded as a character rather than just mercilessly evil for the sake of it like Black Manta. Unfortunately, this means that the story does more for Ocean Master, overall, than its debuting villain but I still think Black Manta came off pretty well here and proved himself to be a cunning and vindictive new foe for Aquaman.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

What did you think to Black Manta’s debut story? Were you impressed by his cunning and guile or were you put off by his lack of physical presence? What did you think to his attack on Atlantis and the last-second intervention of Ocean Master? Are you a fan of Aquaman’s family and extended cast? What are some of your favourite Black Manta stories and moments and are you excited for his return to the big screen? Whatever you think about Aquaman and Black Manta, feel free to leave a comment below or start the discussion on my social media.