movie night

Movie Night [Sci-Fanuary]: John Carpenter’s The Thing

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January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

Released: 25 June 1982
Director: John Carpenter
Distributor: Universal Pictures

Budget: $15 million
Box Office: $20,847,529
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 85% / 92%

Quick Facts:
The second big screen adaptation of John W. Campbell’s iconic 1928 novella Who Goes There?, The Thing was almost helmed by horror maestro Tobe Hooper before John Carpenter got involved and pushed for a story closer to the source material. Bill Lancaster modernised the story to focus on paranoia and fear while Rob Bottin delivered the gruesome practical effects to meld numerous bizarre and horrific alien aspects into the titular “Thing”. A critical and commercial failure at the time, John Carpenter’s The Thing is now widely regarded as a sci-fi/horror classic and spawned comic books, videogames, and a divisive 2011 prequel.

The Review:
Life within the remote, frigid United States Outpost 31 is suddenly turned upside down when a couple of Norwegian researchers suddenly circle their snowed-in facility, where the isolated inhabitants wile away in the rec room or, in pilot R. J. “Mac” MacReady’s (Kurt Russell) case, swigging whiskey and being beaten at computer chess. The Norwegians are chasing a sled dog (Jed) through the snow and, when they fail to shoot it, land to try explosives. The commotion alerts Mac and his cohorts, who rush into the snow to see what’s up and unknowingly shield the dog, leading to the desperate and ranting Norwegian (Norbert Weisser) to threaten them at gunpoint after accidentally blowing up his helicopter and co-pilot. Startled, the Americans open fire, with station commander M. T. Garry (Donald Moffat) executing the Norwegian with his prized revolver. Confused by all this, Mac takes station physician Doctor Copper (Richard Dysart) to the Norwegian base, despite the inclement weather, and finds it a burned out, frozen wreck full of gruesome bodies. While Dr. Copper gathers the Norwegians’ notes to try and understand what happened, Mac discovers the frozen remains of a mysterious ice-like tomb and a charred, inhuman corpse that’s hideously malformed. They transport the remains back to base for analysis, only for microbiologist Doctor Blair (A. Wilford Brimley) to be bemused by the Thing’s malformed, misshapen biology. Still puzzled by whatever fate befell the Norwegians and the bizarre, steaming corpse sitting in their medical room, the team return to their games, pondering the day’s events and niggling each other, unaware that the sled dog has snuck into one of their rooms.

Mac and the others discover a horrifying alien parasite that assimilates anything it touches.

Sombre dog handler Clark (Richard Masur) later takes the adopted dog to the kennels, where it suddenly and violently erupts into a writhing, thrashing, screaming alien creature! Ensnaring the other dogs and spraying them with goop, it assaults the panicked dogs, drawing Clark and the others. Horrified, Mac and Garry blast the Dog-Thing and the other dogs, much to Clark’s dismay, and surly mechanic Childs (Keith David) incinerates the creature with a flamethrower. Dr. Blair’s subsequent autopsy reveals that the burned corpse isn’t a dog, but an “imitation” of one that was attempting to absorb and imitate the other dogs. Reviewing the Norwegians’ data, which includes video footage similar to the 1951 film, the crew discovers that the Norwegians discovered an alien space craft buried deep in the ice. They risk another helicopter ride to the site and find the craft, which is estimated to have crashed thousands of years ago and which was uncovered when the Norwegians used explosives, leading them to recover a frozen occupant who subsequently overran their base. Shaken by the implications, Dr. Blair runs some tests and determines that the parasitic organism aggressively latches onto and absorbs living cells, perfectly imitating any living creature it samples and sprouting teeth, tentacles, and other appendages from potentially thousands of other worlds. Realising that the Thing could overtake the entire world within three years if it reaches civilisation, Dr. Blair snaps and wrecks the outpost’s communications array and much of their equipment before he’s subdued and isolated. This leaves out of his depth assistant biologist Fuchs (Joel Polis) to pour over Dr. Blair’s mad ramblings for a solution and Garry shell-shocked when the Dog-Thing’s remains slither to life and absorb his friend, meteorologist George Bennings (Peter Maloney), forcing the others to set his half-transformed form alive and burn every trace of the alien from the outpost.

Paranoia and fear run rampant as the Thing assimilates those around it and feeds their distrust.

With radio operator Windows (Thomas Waites) unable to call for help and their vehicles trashed during Dr. Blair’s breakdown, the survivors prepare to weather an incoming storm, tensions flare when soiled long johns appear in cook Nauls’ (T. K. Carter) kitchen and the shredded remains of Mac’s clothing are found out in the snow. Dr. Copper suggests they use the blood bank to test who’s human and who’s the Thing, but this is scuppered when someone destroys the blood bank and they descend into arguments and finger pointing when this is discovered, accusing Garry since he’s the only one with the keys and Dr. Copper since he regularly accesses the blood. The distrust being thrown around knocks Garry’s confidence and, after a tense showdown with Windows when he frantically grabs a shotgun, Garry relinquishes his revolver and command to Mac. While Mac tries to hold the group together, being the coolest and most logical head despite his growing fear and paranoia, the others descend into anger and distrust after Fuchs is mysteriously burned alive and any chance of employing Dr. Copper’s blood test. However, but soon decide Mac is the most untrustworthy  and strand him in the blizzard. They’re even more convinced he’s the Thing when he stumbles back to base without a guideline and, enraged by their betrayal and wracked by the cold, Mac threatens to blow them all up with dynamite if they don’t listen to reason. The tense standoff sees Mac and Childs clash and Clark, also a chief suspect due to his close proximity to the dogs, ready to shank Mac at the first opportunity. During the scuffle to disarm Mac, terrified geologist Norris (Charles Hallahan) is tossed aside and seemingly dies from a heart attack, only to be shockingly revealed to be the Thing! This revelation does little to allay Mac’s suspicions and, after the ghastly Norris-Thing and its offspring are incinerated, Mac forces those he begrudgingly trusts to tie up those he doesn’t and ventures that their blood with violently react to a hit needle if they’ve been assimilated.

Recovered from a crashed ship, the Thing is a hideous amalgamation of various organisms.

Rather than being a strange vegetable creature, the titular Thing is a parasitic organism like in the book. Although we see its flying saucer crash to Earth in the pre-title sequence, there’s no way of knowing if the Thing was the pilot or was simply held captive on the ship (though I’d venture to say the ship crash-landed after the Thing broke out). The Thing has no true form and instead hides behind imitation, perfectly replicating living creatures and even mirroring their personalities, to the point where the assimilated seem unaware that they’re the Thing until they’re threatened. Assistant mechanic Palmer (David Clennon), for example, appears completely human until Mac performs his blood test, whereupon Palmer violently explodes into bloody, gnashing jaws. Norris also appears normal, even tackling Mac alongside the others, until he appears to die and Dr. Copper performs CPR and Norris’s chest splits open and rips his arms off! The Thing’s only goal is to assimilate and procreate everything it can, picking off potential threats and fighting to survive when threatened. Although it appears inhumanly strong and durable, shrugging off shotgun blasts and easily manhandling Windows, it’s not invulnerable. Fire is especially effective, as is dynamite, with the creature being most vulnerable mid-transformation, as seen with the Bennings-Thing. Rather than being a singular organism, every cell of the Thing is alive and thinking, allowing it to disgustingly detach part of itself when the main “body” is destroyed and meaning it can infect multiple targets at once. The Thing is also seen to be very shrewd and intelligent, allowing the survivors to waste their energies on paranoia and accusations rather than formulating strategies, and having intelligence enough to cobble together a miniature flying saucer in the case of the Blair-Thing. The Thing is also incredibly patient, happy to let the humans destroy themselves and hibernate in the snow until the rescue team arrives and then assimilate them…and the rest of the world, in short order.

Although Mac destroys the Blair-Thing, there are lingering questions about who can be trusted. 

When Mac’s blood test outs Palmers and leads to him and Windows dying, a slither of trust is reignited as the cleared survivors go to test Dr. Blair. However, they find he’s built a small flying saucer and tunnelled his way out, revealing himself to also be a Thing. After the Blair-Thing destroys the outpost’s power generator, Mac realises it’s willing to outlast them in the cold to escape and that they’re unlikely to make it out alive without any heat and rescue far away. Resolving to keep the Thing from reaching civilisation, Mac and the others prepare to bring the whole outpost down by setting dynamite charges. However, paranoia rears its ugly head as Nauls and Childs go missing; the Blair-Thing also ambushes Garry in the tunnels, leaving Mac alone. The Blair-Thing then spectacularly erupts from the floor as a massive, mewling amalgamation of repulsive alien and vaguely animal parts in a fantastic combination of practical effects, stop motion techniques, and puppetry. While the monstrous Blair-Thing is quite lumbering and mainly just stands there roaring, its tentacles whipping about as it emits that disturbing hissing, it devours Mac’s detonator and seems poised to take him. Defiant until the end, the rugged, exhausted Mac tosses a stick of dynamite at the creature and destroys it, along with the entire outpost. Barely escaping the blast, Mac stumbles through the burning debris and finally collapses from fatigue, whiskey in hand. Childs emerges from the blizzard, claiming to have gotten lost while pursuing Dr. Blair, and sits with him, both too tired to argue or to fight. Realising the flames will die out soon and they’re likely to perish from the cold, the two acknowledge the futility of their situation and their mutual distrust and resolve to simple share a drink and wait to see what happens, leaving their ultimate fate up to the audience…

Final Thoughts:
John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the quintessential remakes of all time. While the original film was an ambitious B-movie that took huge liberties with the source material, The Thing stays very close to Who Goes There? in its interpretation of the titular alien parasite and the destructive paranoia that tears the humans apart. There’s a sense that many of the characters barely tolerated each other to begin with, meaning tensions fray very quickly once they realise the Thing can perfectly imitate them down to their memories and behaviour. The film perfectly conveys this by rarely, if ever, showing who’s been assimilated and when, meaning we never really know who to trust as everyone – even rugged protagonist Mac – is a suspect. It’s thus shocking when characters turn out to be human or suddenly explode into a thrashing, shrieking mess of flesh and teeth and even destroying the Thing and performing tests doesn’t stamp out the unease felt by the survivors. Kurt Russell did a great job as reluctant leader Mac, who seems ready to pack it all in at a moment’s notice. I liked his heated rivalry with the immortal Keith David and how easily he took charge, and how physically and emotionally exhausted he was by the whole ordeal. Some aspects, like Dr. Blair’s computer simulation, are rather quaint but they get the job done and the gruesome special effects more than make up for them. The Thing is constantly sprouting new appendages and forms and surprising audiences by springing to the ceiling, becoming a scurrying spider-like head, or clamping down on its prey with its massive teeth. It’s a spectacularly ghastly creature that’s nauseating to look at as you never know what it’s going to do next as it clearly retains knowledge of other alien creatures and is a highly adaptable and versatile parasite. The ending may be one of cinema’s greatest cliff-hangers and the simple story of distrust and desperation remains as palpable as ever, making John Carpenter’s The Thing a timeless sci-fi/horror classic that’s difficult to beat.

My Rating:

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Great Stuff

Do you agree that John Carpenter’s The Thing is one of the greatest remakes of all time? How do you feel it works as an adaptation? Which character were you most surprised to find out was human (or the Thing)? Did you enjoy Kurt Russell’s performance and his rivalry with Keith David? How amazing were those gruesome special effects? How did you interpret the ending and what sci-fi films are you watching this month? Use the comments below to hap some praise on John Carpenter’s The Thing and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other sci-fi films you’d like to see me cover.

Movie Night [Christmas Day]: Violent Night

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Released: 2 December 2022
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $20 million
Stars: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Leah Brady, Alex Hassell, Mike Dopud, and Beverly D’Angelo

The Plot:
When the malicious “Mister Scrooge” (Leguizamo) and his mercenaries raid the mansion of disgustingly rich Gertrude Lightstone (D’Angelo) and take her family hostage, it’s up to the embittered, drunken, Santa Claus (Harbour) to save them by rediscovering his warrior roots.

The Background
Despite attracting mixed reviews, Die Hard (McTiernan, 1988) was a financial success that revitalised 20th Century Fox, redefined the action hero stereotype, and inspired not just a bunch of sequels…but a slew of knock-offs! Soon, all the action stars of the eighties and nineties were aping burned out cop John McClane to give us “Die Hard…but on a boat!”, “Die Hard…but in a hockey stadium!”, and “Die Hard…but on a train!”, among others, and this “elevator pitch” for action movies continued into the 2000s and beyond. In 2022, this concept reached its logical conclusion with Violent Night, which began as an original screenplay by Pat Casey and Josh Miller. Tommy Wirkola signed on to direct after impressing the producers with his 2021 action/comedy, The Trip, and David Harbour joined as the disgruntled Santa after being won over by the script. With a box office of just over $76 million, Violent Night was a surprise success met with largely positive reviews that praised the over-the-top violence and Harbour’s nuanced performance. Wirkola’s tentative plans for a sequel soon came to fruition as a follow-up is scheduled for December 2026.

The Review:
When Violent Night begins, Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick is downing pints in a British pub and questioning his relevance in a world increasingly swamped by greed and selfishness. Santa Claus has lost sight of why he even started delivering presents to those on his “Good” list and coal to those who have been naughty, especially as kids have become extremely ungrateful over the years. Despite being way over the legal limit, Santa continues on, flying along on a sleigh pulled by eight magical reindeer, while contemplating quitting. While Santa may have lost the spirit of Christmas, young Gertrude “Trudy” Lightstone (Brady) still firmly believes in Santa Claus and the hope for reconciliation between her parents, Jason (Hassell) and Linda (Alexis Louder), who’ve been estranged for some time. This is primarily due to Jason constantly being at the beck and call of his demanding mother, Gertrude, who runs the family business with an iron fist and favours Jason over her daughter, borderline alcoholic sycophant Alva (Edi Patterson). It’s not clear what business the Lightstone family dabbles in beyond a mention of her essentially laundering money for the United States government, but it’s certainly profitable, earning Gertrude an opulent, private mansion and even her own kill squad. Linda watched for years as Jason bowed to his mother’s every whim before she finally had enough and, realising this, Jason secretly raids her vault for a cool £300 million, hoping to entice Linda away with promises of a clean break. First, Jason and his family must endure the obligatory Christmas with Alva’s self-absorbed influencer son, Bertrude/Bert (Alexander Elliot), and her clueless prima donna lover, actor Morgan Steel (Cam Gigandet). While Alva, Bert, and Morgan constantly suck up to Gertrude, desperate for her approval and recognition, Jason hangs back, safe in the knowledge that a new life awaits him by the night’s end.

Mr. Scrooge’s plot to rob the wealthy Lightstones turns to venting his anger on Santa Claus.

However, Jason’s scheme is interrupted by the unexpected arrival of Mr. Scrooge and his festively named cohorts, who infiltrated the usually air-tight Lightstone manor by posing as caterers and quickly off Gertrude’s private security, taking the family hostage to gain access to her vault. Gertrude defiantly stands up to Mr. Scrooge at every opportunity, taking a punch and a verbal berating for her arrogance, confident that her family’s reputation and her feared kill squad – led by Commander Thorp (Mike Dopud) – will scare off the intruders. However, thanks to months of planning and having Commander Thorp in his pocket, Mr. Scrooge is well informed of Gertrude’s security measures and has meticulously planned the operation to perfection. While Mr. Scrooge laments that such operations aren’t as simple as the old days, Commander Thorp’s knowledge of the security codes means his team easily break into the vault once the kill team arrives, only to find it empty as Jason already cleaned it out. Before that, Mr. Scrooge relishes tormenting the Lightstones, employing the sadistic “Krampus” (Brendan Fletcher) to intimidate the family and use a large nutcracker on Jason when he learns of an unexpected “gopher” screwing up his plan. Mr. Scrooge is unimpressed by rumours of a Santa Claus offing his team, and even less impressed when he communicates to Santa directly via Trudy’s walkie-talkie and meets the big man face-to-face. While the towering “Gingerbread” (André Eriksen) and, especially, the alluring but vicious “Candy Cane” (Mitra Suri) are awestruck by Santa’s magical presence, Mr. Scrooge remains angrily sceptical about the entire situation until coming across Santa’s “Naughty” list and seeing his name and all his misdeeds listed. From there, Mr. Scrooge’s operation takes a decidedly personal turn and he relishes taking a lifetime of anger and resentment out on the battered and bloody Santa, blaming the festive icon for his troubled childhood as much as disrupting his operation.

Disgruntled Santa’s forced to rediscover his Viking roots to save the Lightstones.

Santa is shown to be at the end of his tether in Violent Night. Old, worn out, and disheartened, he’s ready to call the whole thing quits as more kids ask for cash or videogames and care little for the Christmas spirit. Depicted as an ancient Viking warrior once called “Nicomund the Red”, Santa was once a violent, bloodthirsty barbarian before adopting the hat and suit, though the film actively avoids delving too deeply into Santa’s past or the specifics of his magic, which often fails him and even he doesn’t understand. When gunfire scares off his reindeer, Santa prepares to leave after killing “Tinsel” (Phong Giang) in self-defence but reluctantly opts to return to the mansion to help the Lightstones. Like John McClane, Santa wages a surreptitious hit-and-run battle, using the Naughty list to keep track of his targets and communicating with his sole ally (Trudy) via walkie-talkie. Emboldened by Santa’s presence, Trudy cobbles together boobytraps like in Home Alone (Columbus, 1990) and encourages him to rekindle his old warrior spirit, with him using a nearby sledgehammer as a substitute for his warhammer, “Skullcrusher”. Santa’s a very mysterious figure, utilising a magic sack that always contains the next present and sewing up his wounds like he’s John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) thanks to his warrior background. Having somehow lived for centuries and operating out of the North Pole alongside his unseen wife and elves, Santa unsettles Mr. Scrooge’s minions with his knowledge of their pasts as much as he fucks up their shit with his brutal attacks. Though as vulnerable as any man, ending up a bloodied mess by the finale, Santa’s very adaptable, utilising tinsel and candy canes as much as his sledgehammer to off his targets, relishing the violence and the chance to feel needed once more.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Violent Night isn’t the first film to depict Santa Claus as disillusioned and cranky, but it sure is one of the more unique. The Die Hard influences are immediate and much appreciated, with Santa’s cat-and-mouse game with Mr. Scrooge echoing McClane’s campaign against the odds in his film/s, but obviously with a more fantastical slant as this is a world where Santa Claus and Christmas magic are very real. It’s therefore fair to call this “The Santa Clause (Pasquin, 1994) meets Die Hard” as Santa can (sporadically) transform into pixie dust to go in and out of chimneys, carries magical scrolls telling him who’s been good or bad, and has lived for centuries thanks to his magic. However, he’s also alone in a massive structure against a superior, well-armed force and takes a hell of a beating along the way, only succeeding through stubbornness and fortitude. As harrowing as the whole escapade is, it couldn’t have come at a better time for Santa, who’s ready to pack the gig in after this Christmas. Judging by the likes of Bert, it’s easy to see why, but Trudy pulls him back from the brink with her unwavering belief, even after Jason’s forced to reveal that Santa Claus isn’t real. Ironically, Santa finds the strength to persevere not through doubling down on good deeds, but by rediscovering his warrior roots to knock off Mr. Scrooge’s men, reinvigorating his fighting spirit and his commitment to the children of the world in the process. It’s doubly ironic considering Gertrude and Alva are deplorable people who arguably don’t deserve to be saved, Morgan and Bert are selfish in different ways, and even Jason is hinted to have been as ruthless as his mother in the past. Thankfully, their family drama leads to some enjoyable moments as they bicker while being held at gunpoint and find a common threat in the likes of Krampus to vent their frustrations onto.

Some fun, brutal, gory action works alongside the humour to make the film standout from its peers.

This mixture of comedy and brutal action helps Violent Night stand out from other Die Hard clones. The film doesn’t take itself too seriously, and yet also doesn’t skimp on the gore, delivering some enjoyable kills and action sequences, mainly involving the half-drunk and cynical Santa. At first, Santa’s desperate to avoid the situation and only fights Tinsel because his magic fails him. Originally trying (poorly) to hide or talk his way out of the situation, Santa ends up falling through a window with Tinsel in tow, accidentally impaling the mercenary on an icicle that’s part of Gertrude’s many elaborate Christmas displays. Such icicle-based gore is rife in Violent Night, with Santa and Linda using icicles to stab their assailants, usually in the eye. Santa’s fight with “Frosty” (Can Aydin) in the den is a decidedly more gruelling affair, one that ends with Frosty taking a star-shaped Christmas tree topper to the eye and being summarily electrocuted, his face briefly catching fire in the aftermath. Santa takes his fair share of punishment in each fight, which is to be expected given how well armed and capable the mercenaries are, enduring the agony of stitching up a gut wound and getting cut up pretty badly in the finale. Although dismayed when the kill squad shows up to make things worse, Santa grabs a sledgehammer and puts a beating on Commander Throp’s squad after some encouragement from Trudy, breaking bones and skulls with brutal grace. Santa also employs ice skates to cut, stab, and behead his foes and even feeds a couple into a woodchipper and drops a grenade into another’s clothing, stopping for a moment to enjoy the explosion, though he’s clueless about guns. Trudy proves equally sadistic, setting up obvious boobytraps to mask others, leading to Gingerbread being impaled through the mouth, ass, and forehead by nails and Candy Cane to be battered by bowling balls. She also gets partially scalped by sticky glue and ends up having her head smashed in by Santa while Trudy happily distracts herself singing “Jingle Bells”.

Though the brutal fight takes a lot out of Santa, his faith is renewed and he rediscovers himself.

Despite Mr. Scrooge’s well-laid plans, he comes up short thanks to Jason and Santa’s interference. Driven to frustration, he threatens to kill Linda, forcing Jason to come clean and lead him to the cash, which is stored in another of Gertrude’s Christmas displays. After she, Bert, and Alva beat and stab Krampus to death and Santa arms her, Linda provides enough cover fire to scare Mr. Scrooge and Commander Thorp into the woods, leaving Linda and Jason to finally reconcile after working together to kill off Peppermint (Rawleigh Clements-Willis). Santa finally catches up to Mr. Scrooge at a nearby cabin, where the psychotic burglar is first amazed and then enraged to discover that Santa is the real deal. Armed with a baton and an ice axe and maintaining his balance using spiked shoes, Mr. Scrooge vents his anger upon Santa, easily dodging most of his wild wings and enduring his relentless counterattack to stab and beat Santa. Their brawl brings them towards the remains of a chimney, where Mr. Scrooge impales Santa through the hand and prepares to end to Christmas once and for all. However, Santa rips himself free and finally gets his Christmas magic to work, flying them up the chimney and turning Mr. Scrooge into little more than a bloody spray and a mangled torso. Santa’s victory is short-lived as a confused Commander Thorp guns him down, though Thorp gets a bullet to the head courtesy of a slighted Gertrude. Grateful to their mysterious, colourful saviour, Jason and Linda desperately try to keep Santa warm as Trudy weeps by his side and Alva sickeningly begs them to stop burning money to keep Santa alive. Regardless, Santa succumbs to his wounds but makes a miraculous return when Trudy’s steadfast belief in him is echoed by his family, restoring him to life thanks to mysterious Christmas magic. His faith renewed, a grateful Santa says his goodbyes to Trudy and Jason but rages at his reindeer when they return too late to help. However, his anger subsides when he sees they brought him his spare sack and his beloved Skullcrusher and he heads back into the night to continue his deliveries, leaving Bert to livestream a warning to all the kids out there to be stay off the Naughty list.

The Summary:
I’m a huge fan of Die Hard and its knockoffs. The formula is very simple and easily translates into many different scenarios, though it can be tough to find many films of this kind with the writing and actors/performances good enough to make them work. Thankfully, Violent Night is one of them thanks to its fantastical hook and surreal premise of pitting an embittered, over the hill Santa Claus against a bunch of well-armed mercenaries. There’s just the right balance of craziness, gore, humour, and action to make Violent Night one of the better Die Hard knockoffs and an enjoyable Christmas romp where a very different version of Santa behaves in ways most kids would never imagine. Although I would’ve loved to find out more about this Santa, his past and his operation, I liked that the film kept these things vague. Even he isn’t sure how his magic works and he can’t rely on it, meaning he’s as vulnerable as any other man and must channel his former warrior spirit to win the day. I enjoyed the resentful Santa’s ramblings about how ungrateful kids are these days and seeing him so broken that he’s ready to quit, especially as it made scenes of him wielding his sledgehammer even more empowering. The family drama between the Lightstones and the bickering and banter between them and Mr. Scrooge and his minions was surprisingly enjoyable, as were the festively named mercenaries, who are completely taken aback when Santa comes at them with a sledgehammer. The action was nice and brutal, with a very meaty, gory feel to every fight and kill, and David Harbour embodied the cantankerous ole with gusto. It’s not perfect and it drags a little in the middle, but Violent Night as a fun film to throw on in the background over the Christmas season with a nice sentimental message about the true meaning of Christmas co-existing with some wonderfully ridiculous action and amusing character beats.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Are you a fan of Violent Night? Did you enjoy the twist on the Die Hard formula? What did you think to Santa Claus and his sorry state? Would you have liked to learn more about Santa’s past and how he came to be or did you like that it was kept vague? Which kill was your favourite and is Violent Night a Christmas tradition for you? What are your plans for Christmas Day today? Whatever your thoughts, leave a comment below and have a great Christmas!

Movie Night [Doomsday]: The Day After Tomorrow

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Over the years, there have been many theories about when the world will end but one of the more prevalent was the mistaken belief that doomsday would hit on December 21st 2012 based on the Mayan calendar ending on this day.

Released: 28 May 2004
Director: Roland Emmerich
Distributor: 20th Century Fox
Budget: $125 million
Stars: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Emmy Rossum, Dash Mihok, Kenneth Welsh, Sela Ward, and Ian Holm

The Plot:
After paleoclimatologist Jack Hall’s (Quaid) warnings about a pending modern-day Ice Age caused by climate change are ignored, the world is besieged by catastrophic weather that traps Jack’s son, Sam (Gyllenhaal), in the New York Public Library and millions displaced or dead from horrendous cold.

The Background:
Although doomsday and end of the world movies had existed long before the likes of Armageddon (Bay, 1998), the much criticised film’s blockbuster box office meant the genre was revitalised in the new millennium. Indeed, German-American filmmaker Roland Emmerich made a career out of being the “Master of Disaster” for his effects-heavy tales of worldwide disasters. After taking a break from the genre following the massive success of Independence Day (Emmerich, 1996) and the critical mauling launched at Godzilla (ibid, 1998), Emmerich was inspired by Art Bell and Whitley Strieber’s The Coming Global Superstorm (1999), which warned of the catastrophic consequences of climate change. After Emmerich and Fox Studios successfully secured the script, the filmmakers set out to make a politically- and culturally relevant (if severely dramatised) disaster film. It took over 1,000 artists over a year to create the film’s 416 visual effects shots, which included a fully 3D recreation of New York City to be flash-frozen and massive sound stages laced with fake snow and ice alongside traditional miniatures and filmmaking techniques. Bringing in over $552 million at the box office, The Day After Tomorrow was another financial success for the genre, though reviews were mixed. Critics largely questioned the silly premise, questionable science, and inconsistent performances, though the visual effects were mostly praised and the film raised awareness of climate change, if nothing else.

The Review:
The Day After Tomorrow bookends itself by starting in Antarctica (specifically the Larsen Ice Shelf) and ending with the entire northern hemisphere of America covered in ice and snow. These events are directly linked by the sudden shifting of an ice shelf and workaholic palaeoclimatologist Jack Hall, who starts the film digging for ice-core samples alongside long-time friend Frank Harris (Jay O. Sanders) and somewhat bungling newbie Jason Evans (Mihok). Jack has a strained relationship with his paediatrician wife, Lucy (Ward), and his stroppy but incredibly intelligent son, Sam. Accordingly, Lucy admonishes Jack for being away from his family and his attempt to make good by driving Sam to the airport for an academic decathlon in New York City largely fall flat as he’s late for the pick-up. Even Jack’s long-suffering colleague, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) administrator Tom Gomez (Nestor Serrano), comments on Jack’s inherent ability to rub people the wrong way. However, I doubt sceptical Vice President Raymond Becker (Welsh) would’ve taken Jack’s “sensationalist” claims about an impending global catastrophe any more serious if Jack was more amiable. Jack’s discovery sees him discuss global warming before a United Nations summit, only to be met with disbelief and outrage at the suggestion that the world’s governments sink money into sparing future generations. Refusing to heed the warning, and the science, Becker dismisses Jack even when his predictions unexpectedly and disastrously come true. Indeed, even when the US is ravaged by freak tornados and flash floods, Becker pigheadedly refuses to listen to reason simply to be a dissenting voice amidst a room full of scared and confused politicians.

When his warnings of a global catastrophe are ignored, Jack braves deadly weather to reach his son.

Jack bumps into noted oceanographer Terry Rapson (Holm) at the conference, who finds his Ice Age research models fascinating, and eventually gains additional support from National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) meteorologist Janet Tokada (Tamlyn Tomita). Using data from the International Space Station and evidence from Rapson’s buoys, Jack uses magic pseudo-science to produce an impossible forecast model that shows a global warming calamity coming in days! Although Rapson and his colleagues are beyond help, conveniently (and, admittedly, tragically) trapped at the epicentre of a superstorm, their phones helpfully last long enough for them, and Jack, to emphasise the gravity of what’s coming. Despite this magic forecast model, Jack is repeatedly met with mockery and scorn even as Los Angeles is obliterated by massive twisters and gigantic hail decimates Tokyo. While Lucy refuses to leave Peter (Luke Letourneau), a sick boy who needs constant medical care, and with New York about to be flash-frozen by a sudden temperature drop, Jack warns his loved ones to stay inside and warm (with Lucy and Peter eventually rescued before the worst hits) and braves the sheer cold alongside the sadly doomed Frank and the terrified Jason to rescue Sam and his friends. Before this, Jack delivers one last warning directly to President Richard Blake (Perry King) and his surviving cabinet. Despite previously being strangely absent, President Blake is all ears when Jack strongly advises a mass evacuation, declaring that the northern hemisphere a write-off and that the survivors must head south. While President Blake reluctantly agrees, he’s a little late abandoning the White House and is killed (offscreen), leaving Becker to assume his role and eat some humble pie down in Mexico.

Sadly, the young, sexy cast have little to no chemistry and sleepwalk through the film.

While Jack laments the rift between him and Sam, it’s clear he cares for the boy and encourages his smart mouth and intelligence. While they start with a frosty relationship, Sam defers to his dad’s warnings once things go south, desperately warning Officer Campbell (Phillip Jarrett) and the other survivors in the New York Public Library not to venture into the storm. While I like Gyllenhaal, this is a nothing role for him and he appears bored most of the time, sleepwalking through even intense scenes where he’s fending off awful CGI wolves. He does have decent banter with Arjay Smith, who plays Sam’s self-confessed “geek” friend Brian Parks, but doesn’t have much chemistry with the always gorgeous Emmy Rossum. Indeed, while Laura Chapman clearly likes Sam and is just as smart as him, warming him with her body heat after he nearly drowns in the basement, she largely follows his lead or is laid up with sepsis. At first, it seems Sam has a rival for Laura in rich kid J.D. (Austin Nichols), but this drama is thankfully set aside in favour of survival. While librarian Judith (Sheila McCarthy) is aghast when Sam burns books, Jeremy (Tom Rooney) saves a 15th century Gutenberg Bible in a desperate attempt to cling onto civilisation and Sam’s quick thinking sees his troop survive largely unharmed. As if being as smart as his dad wasn’t enough, Sam’s also a bit of an action hero as he braves the entombed city streets in search of penicillin for Laura. While he luckily (and conveniently) finds some on a stranded Russian freighter, he, Brian, and J.D. must contend with voracious wolves and literally outrun the cold to get the medicine safely to Laura.

Mother Nature’s about as much of a bitch as the awful CGI and human arrogance.

There are essentially two “villains” in The Day After Tomorrow: human arrogance and Mother Nature. The film bashes you over the head warning about global warming and climate change, which paradoxically sees the raping of the world’s natural resources heat up the globe, disrupt the North Atlantic Ocean current, and trigger freak weather and a modern-day Ice Age. Though Jack’s initial projections were a warning for future generations, this event is spontaneously triggered for maximum dramatic effect as massive tornados crash through Los Angeles, combine together, and the devastating weather literally roars as it sweeps away people and landmarks alike. Naturally, sceptics like Becker are hopelessly lost in denial, delaying mass evacuations and costing millions of lives. Unlike many doomsday scenarios, there is no “stopping” The Day After Tomorrow: there’s simply surviving and adapting. Jack seems oddly hopeful that humankind will bounce back since it survived a previous Ice Age and Sam equally tries to encourage the briefly despondent Laura that there’s still hope (namely, them being together). Because of the threat, there’s basically nothing anyone can do but gather data, shout warnings, and survive. When Officer Campbell spots survivors in the snow-swept streets, he encourages others to follow in hopes of reaching better shelter or rescue. Ignoring Sam’s half-hearted pleas, they freeze to death, just as Jack predicted. Despite this, I’d say Jack’s a questionable expert, at best. While his data models are impressive and his predictions are so true that it’s like he read the script, he repeatedly braves cold so bad that it literally freezes helicopters, buildings, and people in an instant, often shunning gloves and exposing his face just to get some screen time. There are more tangible threats here (Becker, the wolves, the threat of sepsis) but, oddly, little dissension between the survivors. There are no instances of Sam’s group turning on each other, for example, or depictions of humanity’s worst nature once the storm hits. Instead, sceptics are forced to admit their mistakes, and everyone earns a new level of respect for the wrathful spite of Mother Nature.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Interestingly, despite the devastation that hits the world the US in The Day After Tomorrow, the destruction and death seem toned down in some ways. Sure, Los Angeles and the Hollywood sign are torn apart, cars are flipped and crushed, and buildings are ravaged, but it’s rare for the deaths to be glorified or depicted onscreen. The Day After Tomorrow opts for a kind of bizarre, beautiful “clean sweep” of humanity, blanketing cities in ice and snow and leaving corpses strewn about as though sleeping. It’s tragic, for sure, but not as gratuitous as other disaster films. Even Frank, who dramatically sacrifices himself, dies offscreen like Rapson and his colleagues. Also, the finale shows many survivors in New York City alone, playing into the themes of survival and adaptability the film so desperately tries to emphasise between all the dull performances and ridiculous weather effects. Naturally, The Day After Tomorrow is an extremely exaggerated example of global warming and climate change. It’s undeniable that humans have damaged the world, from puncturing the ozone layer, mining natural resources, and causing the ice caps to melt. While there’s no way things would ever go this bad this quickly, even I can attest to the changes in weather patterns in my lifetime (some forty years) so it’s not much of a stretch to see how pertinent the warnings are. They’re just delivered in the most extravagant ways to wrap real-world concerns in the colours of a mindless popcorn flick (at least, whenever Jack isn’t delivering a not-so-subtle lecture to other characters/the audience).

Despite a strong visual identity, the film is dull and handicapped by dodgy characters and science.

Although The Day After Tomorrow is handicapped by some cartoonish, one-dimensional characters and many of the leads lack chemistry or seem embarrassed by the script, it claws some credibility back in its disaster sequences. These are the best parts of the film (despite some surprisingly sombre moments) and they’ve aged surprisingly well considering the abundance of CGI (not counting those awful wolves). While rain and large chunks of hail in Tokyo are an ominous sign of things to come, things escalate when Los Angeles is ravaged by multiple tornadoes and twisters that combine to devastate the city. Jack’s forecast model predicts three superstorms across the globe that become a giant storm, though we only see this impact the US. The tumultuous weather sees a massive tsunami sweep through New York City, forcing Sam and the others into the library and leaving the flooded city ripe for a dramatic flash-freeze. While it makes some sense for characters to run away from the literal wall of water crashing through the city, it’s sheer ridiculousness that they can outrun cold itself, even keeping it at bay by shutting doors! This cold instantly kills those exposed to it, drops helicopters and planes from the sky, and ushers in a new Ice Age, blanketing New York in snow and ice. While this means it’s physically possible to walk around outside, Jack and Sam repeatedly advise against this due to the super low temperatures, though they and their friends survive the cold with only one death and minor injuries between them. The visual of New York being enveloped by snow is a powerful one and it’s fun seeing the Statue of Liberty flash frozen and upturned ships stranded in the snow. However, it’s also a visual that loses power the more you think about it and the more the film progresses. The library ends up almost completely buried by snow, yet Sam and the others stave off hypothermia and freezing by tossing books on a fire. Jack and Jason also struggle through the storm, sure, but they make it through, often without wearing gloves, despite the cold being said (and seen) to be deadly.

By the time the brief Ice Age passes, the world has apparently been healed of its ills…

While Becker’s aggravating scepticism costs millions of lives, the doomed President Blake ensures many are saved by a mass evacuation to the south. We never get to see this, so I have no idea how they outran the Ice Age, but all the principal characters make it to Mexico to review additional data from the space station and reflect on the enormity of what’s happened. Stubborn to the end, Jack braves the snow to reunite with Sam, losing Frank along the way but otherwise reaching New York with little issue, despite the storm being at its peak. Thanks to a desperate gamble, Sam, Brian, and J.D. (who…somehow…suffers no ill effects from his wolf bite) successfully bring penicillin to Laura, allowing her to be lucid enough to give the disappointingly wooden Gyllenhaal a snog and ensuring she’s as alive as the others when Jack and Jason dig them out. Jack’s good fortune stretches even further as he sends word of survivors to Tom, who relates the message to the now humbled President Becker. Becker then delivers a suitably dramatic address where, incredibly, he apologises for his stupidity and expresses gratitude to formally Third World countries for sheltering them. Encouraged by Jack’s message, President Becker sends helicopters to New York (and, presumably, other cities) to rescue survivors, with Jack and Sam sharing goofy smiles while airlifted from the frozen remnants of New York. Incredibly, Jack’s forecast model proves right again and the world-changing superstorm subsides after about a week, bringing the new Ice Age to a close and leaving much of the northern hemisphere encased in ice. It’s even suggested that the devastating storm has somehow purified the air, rendering it leaner than ever, and all it cost was billions of lives, the devastation of cities and crops, and the sure-fire extinction of many animals. But hey, “all’s well that ends well”, I guess.

The Summary:
Although I’m a big fan of disaster films, I’ve never liked The Day After Tomorrow for many reasons. First, the performances are lacking throughout. Ian Holm does his best to offer some gravitas, but Dennis Quaid is a grim-faced brute blundering through scenes, shouting wild claims that ridiculously come true and surviving things that immediately kill others. Jake Gyllenhaal and Emmy Rossum are the worst offenders here, sleepwalking through every scene and constantly looking like they’d rather be anywhere else than mucking about with fake snow. Next, the film’s “science” is laughable, at best. Obviously, I’m no scientist or anything but even I struggle with the technobabble and exaggerated events forced onto us here. The film repeatedly shuts down solar flares as a cause for the sudden catastrophe, but I almost wish this had contributed to it as it might explain why the weather’s suddenly acting up. The Day After Tomorrow limps along with its scenes of destruction but even these aren’t as powerful as other disaster movies as it banks everything on the visual of a flash-frozen New York City. While this is a striking visual and it certainly separates the film from other disaster movies, it’s not as powerful or as meaningful as seeing the city in ruins, mainly because the “science” used to stitch together a new Ice Age is so unbelievable. Obviously, you’re supposed to ignore these aspects with movies like this and focus on the visuals, the destruction, and the very real warnings of global warming, but it’s hard to do that when anyone with even a cursory understanding of the subject knows that this scenario is ridiculously unlikely. Add to that scenes of characters running from cold air, warning of the deadly cold and then exposing their bare flesh to it, and the over the top depiction of the weather events and you’re left with a movie whose very apt message is lost beneath a muddy haze of disaster sequences that make it largely inferior to many other films in the genre.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Did you enjoy The Day After Tomorrow? How do you feel it compares to other disaster films? Did you also struggle with the exaggerated depiction of global warming? Were you also surprised by the performances and how bored everyone seemed? What did you think to the visual of New York being covered in snow? How important is scientific accuracy and realism to you in disaster films like this? How are you celebrating the end of the world today? Whatever you think about The Day After Tomorrow, disaster films, and overblown predictions of the end of the world, drop a comment down below and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other films in the genre for me to review.

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 9 November 2018
Director: Scott Mosier and Yarrow Cheney
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $75 million
Stars: Benedict Cumberbatch, Cameron Seely, Rashida Jones, Kenan Thompson, and Pharrell Williams

The Plot:
Since the ill-tempered Grinch (Carrey) despises Christmas so much, he tricks impressionable Cindy Lou Who (Seely) into kidnapping Santa Claus and then plots to literally steal Christmas from Whoville! 

The Background: 
Poet and children’s author Theodor Seuss Geisel (more widely known as “Dr. Seuss”) produced “The Hoobub and the Grinch” in 1955, the prototype for How the Grinch Stole Christmas!, which was inspired by the rampant commercialisation of Christmas. The character became an instant and surprisingly complex festive icon. Dr. Seuss once again teamed with the legendary Chuck Jones to adapt the story into a universally loved, animated feature that became a Christmas classic. Though Dr. Seuss refused to sell the film rights to his works, his widow, Audrey Geisel, negotiated a lucrative merchandising deal that eventually led to Ron Howard and Jim Carrey collaborating on a live-action project in 2000. Though a box office success, with Carrey’s performance being widely praised, Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas was met with mixed reviews. After their adaptation of The Lorax (Seuss, 1971) proved a commercial, if divisive, success, Illumination produced a new, CGI animated adaptation of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Benedict Cumberbatch was cast in the title role and insisted on employing an American accent to vibe with his fellow actors and a 3D CGI model of Whoville was crafted using software applications like Maya. With a worldwide box office gross of $540 million, Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch was a commercial success met with mostly positive reviews. Critics praised the heart-warming story and colourful visuals, though it was also criticised for being noticeably lifeless and predictable compared to its predecessors.

The Review:
This adorable, all-CGI animated retelling of The Grinch puts its own spin on the original story, and the live-action version, by presenting a familiar but somewhat different incarnation of the titular, miserable creature. As ever, the Grinch lives atop Mount Crumpit with his loyal canine companion, Max (Unknown), who brings him coffee and goes along with his schemes with a boundless enthusiasm. This time, the Grinch is not a feared figure in nearby, Christmas-loving Whoville or a miserly bogeyman they actively avoid, or a figure of hatred and ridicule. In fact, the locals barely acknowledge him! The Grinch isolates in his cosy cave and only begrudgingly ventures into Whoville for groceries, where few bat an eyelid at his noticeably different appearance and nobody reacts with anything but kindness and friendliness. This is most embodied by the energetic Bricklebaum (Thompson), a decidedly Santa Claus-like Who whose Christmas spirit is infectious and who regards the Grinch as his best friend, much to the Grinch’s loathing. Even when he actively shuns and bullies Whos, pushing over snowmen and refusing to help them, the Grinch is simply frowned upon as being a “mean one”. Nobody wonders who he is or where he came from, or why he hates Christmas so much. Indeed, our omniscient narrator (Williams) asks us not to question these things and simply states that the Grinch’s heart is “two sizes too small”. However, while wandering through the bustling seasonal town, the Grinch suffers a small panic attack and is reminded of his childhood, where he was left alone in an orphanage while the Whos celebrated Christmas, coming to despise the season as he was ignored and forgotten.

As Cindy hopes to appeal to Santa Claus, the moody Grinch plots to steal Christmas from Whoville.

While stocking up for his annual self-imposed Christmas isolation, the Grinch literally bumps into lively, kind-hearted Cindy Lou Who as she’s frantically trying to deliver her letter to Santa Claus. Disgusted by the Whos’ greedy attitude and demanding ways, the Grinch mocks Cindy Lou and sarcastically tells her to visit Santa if her wishes are so important. Inspired, but overly ambitious, Cindy Lou is only stopped by her overworked mother, Donna Who (Jones), who points out that it’d take Cindy Lou at least a month to reach the North Pole. However, as her Christmas wish is incredibly important to her, Cindy Lou resolves to think of an alternative plan with her best friend, Groopert (Tristan O’Hare), a friendly (if dozy) Who boy whom Cindy Lou shares that her wish is for her mother to have some help and happiness as she’s always working to provide for her three children. Thus, Cindy Lou drafts a plot to stay awake on Christmas Eve to trap Santa Claus and beg for his help, sure that he can work his Christmas magic. This side-plot is completely unrelated to the Grinch until the last act as the titular, furry creature is more distracted trying to scupper the town’s tree lighting ceremony. When this goes awry, the Grinch vows to end Christmas once and for all, sickened by Whoville’s insatiable Christmas spirit and wishing them to pay for being so happy and materialistic all the time. After some half-assed research, the Grinch tries to recruit some reindeer, only to attract a particularly loud mountain goat and be lumbered with “Fred”, and cute, curious, oafish reindeer who nonchalantly becomes part of the Grinch’s plot before he’s revealed to have a family. Begrudgingly, the Grinch substitutes Santa Claus’s traditional eight reindeer for Max, who eagerly pulls the sleigh they stole from Bricklebaum despite how large and heavy it is and even helps the Grinch steal Whoville’s Christmas using his gadgets.

Embittered by a lifetime of loneliness, the Grinch has grown to despite the festive season.

The Grinch is as emotionally complex, and conflicted, as always. Thanks to his troubled childhood, he developed an intense dislike for Christmas and forced himself into exile with Max since loneliness is all he’s ever known. This motivates him to steal Christmas so everyone feels as bad as he does. However, it’s clear that the Grinch desires more deep down in his small heart as he sadly watches as Whoville prepares and celebrates Christmas and allows Fred to return to his family despite needing him for his plot, showing that the Grinch isn’t entirely heartless. Indeed, he enjoys spending time with Max in montages, playing/cheating at chess and going on rides, and greatly appreciates Max’s kindness and companionship, especially as he puts Max through a lot, like rigging him up to a helicopter harness to get intel on Whoville. Thankfully, this film ignores the backstory and Grinch/Who nonsense from Jim Carrey’s film, though I do think it suffers a bit from there being such a disconnect between the Grinch and Cindy Lou. As the Grinch barely interacts with Whoville, there are less scenes of him harassing the Whos or their reactions to him, and the focus is more on how they’re happily obsessed with Christmas rather than fearing the cantankerous Grinch, who has almost no impact in their daily lives. Cindy Lou isn’t mesmerised by him, instead, focusing on Santa Claus and her exhausted mother; the Mayor (Angela Lansbury) is merely a cameo rather than a rival; and the Grinch spends more time conducting tests with his sleigh than causing chaos in Whoville. Still, Benedict Cumberbatch was super enjoyable in the role, putting on a sarcastic voice that gave way to some emotional scenes as the Grinch relives his past and steps up his campaign against Christmas.

The Nitty-Gritty:
As is to be expected from Illumination, The Grinch looks fantastic. There’s an adorable aesthetic to the entire film that makes it very appealing and the animation is much more suitable to Dr. Seuss’ unique art style, which frankly looks horrific in live action. Cindy Lou was especially adorable, easily melting the Grinch’s heart with her big, expressive eyes and pure-hearted plea, but I also enjoyed how colourful and lively Whoville looked. Although the Grinch isn’t said to have superhuman strength like in the live-action version, cartoon logic and physics make him incredibly durable and allow him to perform bizarre feats like lugging around a massive, overloaded sleigh and muscle his haul to safety after his change of heart. Surprisingly, The Grinch omits the traditional “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” during his malicious scheme (which also sadly lacks him gobbling up Christmas presents). Whoville still sing their usual Christmas melody, “Welcome Christmas” around their gigantic tree, but the film’s more likely to use traditional Christmas carols than original songs, though I did like the use of “Zat You Santa Claus?” by Buster Poindexter and His Banshees of Blue. The Grinch is depicted as more of an inventor, though sadly this is mostly offscreen and comes quite late into the film. He cobbles together extending shoes and grappling hooks for himself and little mech suits for Max, which help him to steal Christmas in record time. I would’ve liked to see the Grinch tinkering away with some of these inventions throughout the film or using some tech to try and wrangle reindeer rather than a simple horn and a lasso.

Cindy Lou melts the Grinch’s heart and shows him the true meaning of the season.

Thanks to Groopert and their other friends, Cindy Lou hatches a foolproof scheme to trap Santa Claus. Realising that she could never hope to stay awake all night, she booby-traps an enticing cookie to trap Santa with a snare. Unbeknownst to her, the Grinch and Max are methodically stripping Christmas from Whoville. While raiding Cindy Lou’s house, the Grinch falls into her trap and is stunned when the Who-girl asks not for presents, but for “Santa” to help her mother. Though he tries to forget the whole thing and dump his haul, the Grinch is haunted by Cindy Lou’s plea and outraged to find that Whoville’s Christmas spirit hasn’t been dampened in the slightest. Still, touched by Cindy Lou’s words and realising that the spirit of Christmas means more than gifts, the Grinch finds his spirits lifted and his heart triples in size, bringing him a sense of joy and happiness. Immediately remorseful, the Grinch decides to return everything he’s stolen, only for his overloaded sleigh to plummet off Mount Crumpit! Luckily, Fred and his family and Max help the Grinch save the sleigh, and the Grinch slides down the mountain the apologise to Whoville, and to Cindy Lou specifically. Even then, Whoville barely acknowledges the Grinch except for a general sense of awe and Bricklebaum’s enthusiastic shouting. They simply look on, stunned, to see their stolen Christmas return and make no comment. The Grinch slinks home, awkwardly gifting Max a squeaky toy, before Cindy Lou invites the Grinch to Christmas dinner. Though anxious and unsure, the Grinch tags along, awkwardly interacting with the guests and reluctantly enjoying the Christmas cheer. Finally part of the festivities and accepted for the first time, the Grinch realises that he didn’t really hate Christmas; just the feeling of loneliness he associated with the season. With that, the Grinch accepts the Whos’ friendship and honours them with a toast, fully embracing the spirit of the season.

The Summary:
I was surprised by how much I liked Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch. Although the live-action version is a Christmas tradition of mine and I love Jim Carrey, I’ve always found it to be a bit of a slog and just bizarre to look at. This beautifully animated film addresses at least this latter criticism, bringing Dr. Seuss’ surreal characters and story to life with adorable grace and crafting a colourful, visually enjoyable world for them to inhabit. Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch does drag a bit in the middle, however, as filmmakers continue to dream up ways to pad the short story out, providing an alternative backstory for the Grinch and following his quest to rid Whoville of Christmas. I enjoyed some of these aspects, such as his simple but tragic childhood and the continuing emphasis on him being a sad, lonely figure, but I wasn’t a fan of how little he interacted with Whoville. Benedict Cumberbatch did a delightful job in the role so it’s disappointing not to see his Grinch interacting with the Whos, especially Cindy Lou, all that much. It ironically ties into the Grinch’s feelings of abandonment and exile to have the town basically ignore him rather than living in fear of his antics, but it created an odd disconnect for me that I struggled to reconcile. It’s also bizarre that there aren’t more musical numbers in the film (though others may disagree) and that more focus isn’t placed on the Grinch as an inventor since he comes up with some fun gadgets. Ultimately, Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch is a relatively harmless Christmas cartoon for kids that has a few gags and moments that may make adults chuckle. It carries the same heart-warming message about the true meaning of Christmas as ever and has some fun moments kiddies will probably get a kick out of, but it feels like it’s lacking an extra spark to make it a true Christmas classic.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy the all-CGI Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch? How do you think it compares to the book and other adaptations? Did you enjoy the additional lore added to the Grinch or did you also find it unnecessary? What did you think to Benedict Cumberbatch’s performance? Can you be a Grinch around Christmas? Which Christmas movies and specials are you watching this year? Whatever your thoughts on Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch, leave them in the comments and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other festive films for the site.

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Terrifier 3

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Released: 11 October 2024
Director: Damien Leone
Distributor: Cineverse / Iconic Events Releasing
Budget: $2 million
Stars: David Howard Thornton, Lauren LaVera, Antonella Rose, Samantha Scaffidi, and Elliott Fullam

The Plot:
Supernaturally reborn Art the Clown (Thornton) and his demonic cohort, Victoria Heyes (Scaffidi), torment traumatised Sienna Shaw (LaVera) and her family at Christmas.

The Background:
The fear of clowns (or “Coulrophobia”) crops up a lot in horror and reality, largely thanks to fictional “Evil Clowns” like Stephen King’s Pennywise and twisted psychos like John Wayne Gacy. Though I’ve never found clowns particularly scary, writer and director Damien Leone touched upon Coulrophobia with The 9th Circle (2008), a short film that featured a prototype of Art the Clown (Mike Giannelli). Though merely a supporting character, Art was popular enough for Leone to bring him back in Terrifier (2011) and All Hallows’ Eve (2013), and to expand the character into a modern-day slasher icon in Terrifier (2016). Though a modest success met with largely positive reviews (especially for David Howard Thornton’s performance and the sickening gore), Leone was dissatisfied with some his characterisations of the protagonists and sought to address this in the 2022 sequel. Weathering criticisms about its brutal content, Terrifier 2 was a critical and commercial success and Leone was excited to add additional nuance to Samantha Scaffidi’s returning character. Leone also gave wrestler Chris Jericho additional screen time, reaped the benefit of a vastly increased budget, and sought to emulate John Carpenter by shooting the film with Panavision anamorphic lenses. With a $90 million box office, Terrifier 3 was the most successful of the franchise at the time, and the reviews mirrored this. While the narrative and extreme content continued to be criticised, critics praised the ever-expanding lore and characters, with many reviews lauding the various complex and captivating performances, and this success all-but ensured the continuation of the controversial slasher franchise.

The Review:
Terrifier 3 opens with pure, unadulterated shock value: a home invasion around the festive season where Art’s dressed as Santa Claus and which establishes the slightly different direction of the film. Namely, Leone relies far more on long, lingering shots and a tense build-up to the brutal gore. Thus, we follow cute youngster Juliet Thomas (Luciana VanDette), who’s awakened by the sounds of commotion on the roof she adorably believes is Santa. While her mother, Jennifer (Krsy Fox), encourages her imagination to get her back to sleep, neither her father or brother (Mark (Alex Ross) and Timmy (Kellen Raffaelo), respectively) have any time for her wild claims. Juliet’s ecstatic when she creeps downstairs and sees Santa lingering near the family tree, but enters a state of awestruck shock when Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick pulls out a fire axe and tip-toes upstairs to hack Timmy to death (off camera, but still rather shocking) and brutalise Mark. Yes, it’s Art the Clown in his newest festive guise, as spiteful as ever. He relishes Jennifer’s screams as he bludgeons Mark and gleefully chases her downstairs before caving in the distraught mother’s head. Art then helps himself to milk and cookies and even does the dishes. Art spies Juliet hiding in a kitchen cupboard, though her fate’s ultimately left ambiguous and I wouldn’t be against seeing her return in a future film. This opening is extremely unsettling, mainly because it’s easy to imagine it happening. Mark tends to leave the front door unlocked and ajar and he and his son are slaughtered before they even knew what hit them. To say nothing of Jennifer’s horrified reaction to her son’s body parts strewn around his bloodstained room and the trauma Juliet suffered as she tries to comprehend the horror happening before her eyes. It’s extremely effective, mainly because of the time Leone takes to build anticipation and the way he teases us with bits and pieces of the kills. I am surprised that Terrifier 3 didn’t go the whole hog and show Art hacking a child to death, considering the franchise isn’t exactly known for pulling its punches.

Traumatised by her encounter with Art, Sienna struggles to realise her seemingly divine destiny.

A security guard (Chris Jericho) at the mental hospital where the horrifically disfigured Victoria Heyes has been incarcerated since the first movie then stumbles open the scarified wretch consuming a nurse, Art’s disembodied head joining in and connected to Victoria by a ghastly umbilical cord! Victoria lets out a plea for help that appears to be her last gasp of sanity and humanity before the demonic force (the “Little Pale Girl” (Amelie McLain) from the last film) possesses her. The demonic Victoria then cheerfully joins Art in tearing the guard’s head to pieces, Art’s headless body having sprung to life and travelled across town after ripping off a cop’s (Stephen Cofield Jr.) head. This reanimation and possession seems to exhaust them as they travel to an abandoned house and enter a strange hibernation, Art reclining in a rocking chair and Victoria slitting her wrists in a bathtub, where they wait for five years. It’s not entirely clear why: potentially exhaustion, as I said (Art seems visibly annoyed with Victoria’s antics, as though cranky and needing a nap) or possibly because the dark power of the Halloween season is leaving them. Regardless, they lie dormant and the “Miles County Clown” becomes a modern-day myth discussed on true crime podcasts like Mia’s (Alexa Blair Robertson), a fangirl who’s hooking up with Jonathan’s (Fullam) roommate, Cole (Mason Mecartea). We catch up with Sienna as she’s being discharged from five years in therapy following her bizarre and brutal encounter with Art. Jonathan, however, is in college and seemingly happy to survive on a diet of denial, pills, and isolation, despite initially being so obsessed with demonology and possession that he wrote Sienna letters about his wild theories regarding Art, the demonic forces behind him, and the strange, seemingly angelic destiny bestowed upon Sienna by their father, artist Michael Shaw (Jason Patric). With her mother dead, Sienna stays with her aunt and uncle, Jess (Margaret Anne Florence) and Greg Shaw (Bryce Johnson), though their compassion wanes as Sienna becomes agitated and aggressive after first sensing Art’s presence and then receiving conformation that her tormentor is still alive.

Though Sienna tries to find peace with her extended family, Jonathan remains in denial.

Sienna is very different from the last movie but is initially determined to get back on track and rediscover herself by rekindling her sisterly relationship with her cousin, Gabbie (Rose). Gabbie is in awe of Sienna and looks up to her as an idol and older sister, admiring Sienna’s scars and reading her journal, a private musing of the nightmares that still haunt our traumatised heroine. Sienna tries to rebuild bridges with Jonathan using the festive season and is dismayed to find her little brother deep in denial and refusing to believe that Art is still alive. Despite her years of therapy, Sienna is still very fragile; she relies on medication to sleep and is shaunted by screams and visions from her experiences. She’s either hearing the dreaded “Clown Café” jingle or seeing delusions of her brutalised best friend, Brooke (Kailey Hyman), feeding her survivor’s guilt and leaving her a neurotic mess. However, as good as LaVera continues to be, I would’ve liked to see more emphasis placed on Sienna’s fractured mental state. Brooke could’ve shown up more, for example, and Sienna’s scars could’ve been more prominent. Her relationship with Gabbie was adorable, though, and there’s a sense that Sienna relies on this normalcy to move on from her past, but Sienna is quick to anger when Mia badgers her and erratically lashes out at Jonathan when he seemingly turns his back on her, unaware that he’s hiding his panic attacks. Terrifier 3 delves a little more into Sienna’s past where, as a child (Luciana Elisa Quiñonez), she was doted on by her father, who depicted her as an angelic warrior. Jonathan also claims Sienna was “chosen”, presumably by angelic forces seeking to counterbalance the demon that possessed Art and Victoria, and the film teasing with a bizarre nightmare depicting the statuesque Virgin Mary (Juliana Lamia) forcing a bound demon (Michel Vidal) to forge Sienna’s magical sword.

Joined by the demonic Victoria, Art’s more supernatural and malicious than ever.

Though he may have started as a theatrical, but still mortal, serial killer, Art has become something far worse. He was essentially supernatural in Terrifier 2, but it’s taken up a notch here, with his headless body lumbering about and killing and his disembodied head being reborn through Victoria. Yet, though Art can reattach his head, shrug off bullets, and hibernate for years, he still feels pain when attacked by Sienna and her sword, and his abilities remain rooted in his bag of tricks (now given a festive makeover). Art cobbles together a liquid nitrogen spray device and later boobytraps gifts with a homemade bomb, and cosplays as Santa seemingly on a whim. He spots Charles Johnson (Daniel Roebuck) drinking in a bar and excitedly accosts him, believing he’s the real Santa, only to steal his outfit and leave Johnson a frigid, bloody mess. Art delights in luring victims with his festive guise, enjoying the same degree of anonymity his clown outfit gave him at Halloween, making his horror even more visceral since he targets children. Art’s joined by Victoria, a demonic presence who literally (and gruesomely) gets off on Art’s antics. Although Victoria’s very loquacious, she’s very aloof about who and what they are. Jonathan’s theory that the demonic force possessed the worst person imaginable (a serial killer) and is seeking to inhabit another, stronger body seems as true as his belief that Sienna’s been “chosen” to oppose these forces. Victoria first mocks Sienna’s status as a saviour then compliments her strength, and then literally tries to break Sienna by murdering what little family she has left so she (as in Victoria) can forcibly possess her. Unfortunately, this finale kind of relegates Art to Victoria’s henchman as she dictates the torture and is presented as something of a puppet master. It’s only a fleeting suggestion and the two are depicted more as equals when they do appear onscreen, but I would prefer Leone steer away from diminishing Art like that in future instalments.

The Nitty-Gritty:
I’m not going to get into a debate about whether or not Terrifier 3 is a Christmas movie. It’s set during the festive season, there are Christmas trees, mall Santas, presents, and trappings everywhere, and Art’s going around dressed as Santa, which is enough for me! I will, however, debate the evolving lore. While it seems like Leone is simply making up the story as he goes, suggesting things that may or may not be relevant in the future, there’s a strong suggestion of biblical forces at work. Jonathan believed the Little Pale Girl was the key to it all the film suggests that Art was once a serial killer who, upon his death (either in Terrifier or before), was possessed by a demonic force like the demon in Victoria. Someone, presumably angels or another divine presence, then seemingly chose Sienna to counter these forces and worked through her father to prepare her for this destiny, bestowing her with a magical sword forged by a captive demon. However, while this is said to be the only weapon capable of stopping Art and Victoria, Art still recovered after being beheaded by it and he survives another stabbing from the blade here, though the sword does heal Sienna’s wounds. Sienna previously fell down some kind of Hell hole in Terrifier 2 and another pops up here to swallow Gabbie and the sword, and Sienna’s haunted by memories of the Clown Café, an unsettling upbeat corner of whatever Hell these demons are from that seemingly relishes the suffering of others. It’s intriguing and there are some interesting visuals and suggestions here, though Terrifier 3 stubbornly refuses to provide any explicit details, perhaps to maintain a sense of mystery or perhaps because Leone hasn’t figured out how it all fits together yet. Instead, the film uses it as a backdrop to Sienna’s fractured mental state, which leaves her on edge and tormented by nightmares, though I would’ve liked to see more of these so we could get a better sense of how much she’s struggling with her guilt.

The film certainly delivers the brutal kills you’d expect, though with more suspense than before.

Terrifier 3 had an uphill battle trying to top the last film’s gruesome kills and, perhaps in recognition of this, puts more effort into building tension before Art strikes. Naturally, there are exceptions: Art’s headless body pounces upon the cop that discovers it, for example, Victoria viciously stabs an unassuming exterminator (Michael Genet) through the neck with a shard of glass, and Art opts to simply gun down the bar patrons before torturing Charles. Interestingly, some kills are kept off-screen: we never see what Art and Victoria do to the Art cosplayer (Peter Mitchell), for instance, and both Greg and even Jonathan die off camera. This was an odd choice for me, and it felt like some scenes were cut from the movie, so jarring was their end, to the point where I’m assuming Jonathan is either still alive or we’ll get a flashback in Terrifier 4. Of course, there’s plenty of onscreen brutality and it’s just as macabrely fascinating and disturbing. While Art starts rather pedestrian with a fire axe, he and Victoria are soon ripping Chris Jericho’s jaw off and it’s not long before demented clown is slicing through another exterminator’s (Jon Abrahams) head with a Stanley knife and ripping his skin down his skull! Art’s particularly proud of his liquid nitrogen contraption, which he uses to flash-freeze Charles’ leg, hand, and face before bashing the limbs with a hammer and ripping his beard off. The film’s standout kill sequence sees Art attack Cole and Mia in the college showers with a chainsaw, cutting through bone and muscle and leaving Mia a gibbering mess of sliced meat as he grants her wish to be face-to-face with pure evil. Cole gets the worst of it, having half a hand chopped off, then his leg severed in sickening fashion, before being sliced up the rear and then from the groin to his belly, leaving him little more than steaming meat on the tiles. While it’s truly bizarre that Jonathan’s supposed death happens offscreen, it leads to a particularly ghastly end for Jess as she gets a plastic tube hammered down her throat and is forced to swallow rats before having her throat cut. It’s a scene eerily similar to a sequence form American Psycho (Ellis, 1991) and one that, again, I feel could’ve been even more extreme, like the rats could’ve come clawing out her nether regions or something!

Although Sienna dispatches Victoria, Gabbie falls to Hell and Art escapes into the night…

Perhaps the most distressing kills, however, are those that befall the unsuspecting children fooled by Art’s disguise. After posing as Santa at the mall, Art leaves a bunch of kids and their parents splattered across the festive scenery with a bomb, which deeply unsettles Sienna to the point where she starts screaming for Jonathan to be brought to them so they can get to safety. Although Greg begrudgingly goes to get him, Sienna wakes from a disturbing dream to find her uncle beheaded and nailed to the lounge wall and Art and Victoria in her home. Bound and gagged and beaten with a mallet, Sienna’s forced to watch her aunt’s horrific death. Her relief at finding Gabbie alive is short-lived since the girl’s held at knife point by Art and Victoria triumphantly presents Jonathan’s gory skull to her captive. When her first attempt to possess Sienna fails, Victoria prepares to kill Gabbie to finally break Sienna’s spirit but decides it’d be amusing to watch Sienna open Gabbie’s Christmas present first. After Art bashes Sienna’s hands to a pulp, Victoria demands she open the gift but she and her mute cohort are horrified when it turns out to be the magic sword (which Sienna recovered from the Terrifier funhouse, though I’ve no idea why she left it there or why we never see her get it…) Empowered by the sword, Sienna stabs and beheads Victoria and then jousts with Art, who attacks with his chainsaw. Although Sienna pins Art to the wall, she’s forced to abandon him when Victoria’s remains rot away and open a portal to Hell right under Gabbie! Despite Sienna’s best efforts, she fails to save her cousin, who’s sucked into the void alongside the sword. Although Sienna’s wounds heal and she’s determined to save her surrogate sister, Art escapes into the night to continue unsettling the populace, ending the festive slasher on a cliff-hanger…

The Summary:
I had high hopes heading into Terrifier 3. The first one might’ve been a bit rough around the edges, but the sequel was such a vast improvement, with memorable gore and a relatable and adorable main character to root for. Terrifier 3 seems to struggle with its momentum right from the start, substituting gruesome kills for suspense, which would be fine if this wasn’t a series known for its in-your-face splatter gore. While there are some standout kills and many of the dismemberments and torture sequences are as brutal as you’d expect, it’s jarring when the camera cuts away or significant characters like Jonathan are seemingly killed onscreen. If Leone is going for pure shock value by killing kids, the least he can do is follow through and present some nightmarishly unsettling deaths rather than merely showing us the bloody aftermath. It doesn’t help that Terrifier 3 feels like it’s making the story up as it goes along, clumsily suggesting a coherent narrative through exposition and teases but potentially setting up for an underwhelming payoff. Art’s still very mysterious but the supernatural, demonic context takes some of the allure off him, as does relegating him to Victoria’s henchman in the finale. It’s a fleeting moment and one that’s inconsequential compared to the carnage Art unleashes throughout the film, but I wonder if it might’ve been just as good, if not better, if Victoria had accompanied him throughout and joined in with the kills, if only to cement them as equals. Similarly, while I enjoyed Sienna’s struggles with her trauma and her desperate attempts to continue on after everything she went through, I don’t think the film focused on her delusions and nightmares enough. It could’ve been so much more harrowing if she was having visions of her loved ones so that she (and we) question her sanity. Instead, it’s kind of swept under the rug near the end. It feels like some of this (like other sequences and deaths) were cut to save time, resulting in an uneven narrative that left me unsatisfied at times. David Howard Thornton and Lauren LaVera still give excellent performances, newcomer Antonella Rose is everything Elliott Fullam isn’t, and I did like seeing Victoria depicted as a cackling witch and the hints towards some greater biblical endgame…I just hope the payoff is satisfying and it all fits together in the end.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Did you enjoy Terrifier 3? What did you think to Victoria joining Art as a demonic partner? Do you agree that more focus should’ve been placed on Sienna’s fractured mental state? Which of the kills was your favourite and what did you think to the greater emphasis on tension? Did you also feel like key moments were cut from the film? What’s your favourite Christmas-themed scary movie and which Terrifier film is your favourite? Let me know your thoughts about Terrifier 3 in the comments, support me on Ko-Fi, and check out my other horror and Christmas content!

Movie Night [Christmas Countdown]: Black Christmas (1974)

Dr. K2 Comments

Released: 11 October 1974
Director: Bob Clark
Distributor: Ambassador Film Distributors
Budget: $686,000
Stars: Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, Margot Kidder, James Edmond, John Saxon, and Nick Mancuso/Bob Clark/Albert J. Dunk

The Plot:
Jess Bradford (Hussey) and her Sorority Sisters are tormented by obscene phone calls from “The Moaner” (Mancuso/Clark) that soon turn violent when the bodies pile up over Christmas.

The Background:
While John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978) can be said to have popularised the “slasher” sub-genre, and copycats like the equally iconic Friday the 13th franchise (Various, 1980 to present) established its enduring tropes, slasher films can more accurately be traced back to this seminal, Christmas-themed horror. Initially developed by Canadian screenwriter Roy Moore and inspired by both urban legends and a gruesome string of murders, Black Christmas aimed to present realistic protagonists and challenge perceived notions of female leads with a socially relevant character arc. The late Olivia Hussey took the lead on the advice of a psychic, while Margot Kidder was allegedly attracted to how wild her character was and director Bob Clark was said to have meticulously storyboarded the entire film. Clark employed first-person shots to portray the mysterious killer and his techniques genuinely shocked both cast and crew. Briefly retitled Silent Night, Deadly Night upon release, Black Christmas was an unexpected box office hit that initially garnered mixed reviews. Over time, the film was heralded as a classic of the genre that was especially celebrated for its feminist subtext and subverting expectations of the festive holiday. While it massively influenced subsequent slashers, Black Christmas never spawned a sequel, though it was eventually remade over the years and fan film continuations later emerged,

The Review:
Black Christmas is set almost entirely within a sorority house around the Christmas season. This provides a good sense of space and the rooms in the house, but it does get a touch repetitive being stuck in the same location 90% of the film. Interestingly, despite there only being a handful of residents cared for by alcoholic and incorrigible housemother Barbara MacHenry/Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman), the house seems to shrink as the film goes on, becoming more claustrophobic and ominous, especially as many scenes are shot from the perspective of the killer hiding in their attic. This largely unseen, mysterious figure approaches the house in the dead of night at the start of the film and easily clambers to the attic, watching the sorority sisters muddle about with their various dramas. Chief among them is the repeated obscene phone calls they receive from a raspy, vulgar voice they’ve dubbed the Moaner. At least once a day, the Moaner calls and growls aggressively sexual threats and comments to the girls, who are disgusted and amazed by this. While Jess is appalled and quiet newcomer Clare Harrison (Lynne Griffin) is disturbed, headstrong, domineering Barbara “Barb” Coard (Kidder) fearlessly challenges the voice and barks equally obscene insults. Barb’s efforts only exacerbate the deranged Moaner, leading to the voice screaming, arguing with itself, and threatening to kill her. Already upset by the calls and Barb’s snide comments, Clare prepares to spend Christmas with her father (Edmond) only to be surprised and suffocated by their unwanted house guest. Her corpse is toyed with by the killer (let’s call him “Billy”) and undiscovered for the entire film but driving much of what follows.

As if obscene phone calls aren’t bad enough, Jess is dealing with an unwanted pregnancy.

A big and very unusual sub-plot of Black Christmas revolves around beautiful and determined Jess, who ironically usurps many of the tropes of a “Final Girl” as she’s in a sexual relationship with Peter Symthe (Dullea) and it can be inferred she enjoys drinking with her sisters. Jess discovers she’s pregnant early on, leading to disagreements between her and her piano playing “artist” boyfriend about what to do. Jess decides it would be unfair to have an abortion without telling Peter first, but he’s stunned by her decision and comes across as very condescending and neurotic when she tells him. Any time Peter questions her, Jess stands her ground, determined to decide what to do with her body and only informing him as a courtesy. It’s telling that Jess only replies with “I know you do” when Peter says he loves her, especially as she later shoots down his marriage proposal and insists that she doesn’t want to give up her dreams (whatever they are) just because he’s decided to drop out. Although they initially seem to have a very loving relationship, the baby revelation rocks Peter to the point where he messes up his piano playing and takes a very draconian view on the matter. While I agree that Peter is allowed to be upset and deserves to know that she’s pregnant, Jess makes very valid points about not being ready or willing to be a mother or throwing her youth away on a marriage that likely won’t last. It’s a very mature and pragmatic attitude and it’s clear she’s thought it all through, just as it’s clear she’s disappointed not to have his support but not very bothered since she knows she’s better off without him. When the Moaner’s calls emulate a baby’s screams and seemingly mock her, Jess finally reports the calls and concerned Lieutenant Kenneth Fuller (Saxon) immediately suspects Peter after seeing and hearing of his attitude about the abortion.

The sorority sisters have no idea that they’re being stalked by a deranged killer.

This relationship drama is as much a focal point of Black Christmas as the mystery of the calls and the stranger in the sorority house, though it’s married with Mr. Harrison’s concerns for his daughter. When she no-shows their rendezvous, he visits the sorority house to look for her, dismayed at the idea of his daughter picking up boys and partying rather than studying. While Mrs. Mac tries to alleviate his concerns, he remains unimpressed by Barb’s outspoken demeanour and taste for the booze. Regularly swigging back shots and even encouraging minors to drink, Barb drowns her sorrows, clearly upset that her mother would rather go off with her new fancy man than spend Christmas with her. Though her sisters rally around her, Barb is a prickly and difficult person to love and her drinking only makes her worse as she humiliates herself before the worried Mr. Harrison and alienates the others with her selfish and confrontational attitude. This is only worsened by growing concerns about Clare and a local teenager being killed in the park, with most of our main characters helping to search for the girl. Lieutenant Fuller leads this effort, immediately taking Mrs. Quaife’s (Martha Gibson) concerns for her daughter to heart and organising a search party. Lieutenant Fuller equally takes the report of Clare’s disappearance very seriously, and the obscene calls reported by Jess, chastising inept Sergeant Nash (Douglas McGrath) for dismissing them and withholding what he sees as irrelevant information. Determined to help, Lieutenant Fuller taps the sorority house phone and encourages Jess to keep the Moaner on the line to trace the source, only to grow increasingly suspicious of Peter when he overhears them arguing about the abortion.

The Nitty-Gritty:
This was my first time watching Black Christmas, which I can immediately tell inspired John Carpenter. The shots from Billy’s perspective, the disconcerting breathing, the sense of dread surrounding the sorority sisters as we know there’s someone in the house but they don’t is all mirrored in Halloween. In some ways, however, it might’ve been better to not show Billy entering the house or any shots from his perspective except when he’s killing as it makes the iconic reveal that “The calls are coming from inside the house” less impactful since we know Billy is behind the calls. Still, it is disturbing knowing Billy is rattling around upstairs and could strike at any moment, and seeing the characters be so oblivious to this. And, honestly, why wouldn’t they be? Jess is notably very distracted by her unwanted pregnancy and her issues with Peter, delivering an extremely progressive (and no doubt controversial, then and now) sub-plot regarding a woman’s decision to do what she wants with her body and how insensitive and entitled men can be about that. Personally, I think she’s right to have an abortion if she’s not ready. She never says she wouldn’t want children some day; she just wants a chance to live her life first rather than being trapped with an asshole and his baby, resenting both. The search for Mrs. Quaife’s daughter was an odd sub-plot, however. It might’ve been better if Lieutenant Fuller and the others were searching for Clare instead, though it was odd that the police never thought to search the sorority house or Clare’s room, where her lifeless corpse is left rocking in a chair for Billy’s amusement. While Barb is clearly the loudest and most obnoxious, she’s clearly upset about her mother and people judging her. Phyllis “Phyl” Carlson (Andrea Martin) is easily the weakest of the sisters in terms of screen time and characterisation, portrayed as the voice of reason when Barb gets drunk, but Mrs. Mac was a delight every time she was on the screen sneaking booze, searching for her cat, or coyly apologising for the sisters’ behaviour.

Thanks to Peter’s bad attitude, Billy goes as undiscovered as some of his victims.

Although Black Christmas is more of a suspenseful thriller than a stab-happy slasher and the body count is very low, the deaths are pretty decent and harrowing. Clare is asphyxiated with cling film and her corpse is left rocking in a chair, eyes bulging and mouth silently screaming, for Billy to toy with. Although Mrs. Mac gets a roped hook to the neck offscreen, we do hear her strangled cries and see her hanging there, blood dripping down her body, as undiscovered as Clare. Mrs. Quaife’s little girl is killed offscreen and we never see her body or how Phyl and Officer Jennings (Julian Reed) die (though we do see their bodies and that Jennings has had his throat slit). Barb’s death is thus the showcase of the film. Sent to bed by Phyl after making a fool of herself, Barb is brutally stabbed by Billy with a glass unicorn, giving a rare glimpse of the killer (his bulging eye against his darkened silhouette), though the kill is mostly from his perspective. Billy is a demented and disturbing figure who seems to have multiple personalities, mood swings, and to despise women, hinting at an abusive childhood and a deranged psyche. Delighting in tormenting the sisters, he strikes from the shadows and goes largely unnoticed as they’re more concerned with his phone calls. After Sergeant Nash urges Jess to leave the house immediately as the killer’s in there, she naturally disregards his warnings and investigates, discovering her dead friends and being forced into the basement by the crazed stranger. When Peter breaks into the basement to help her, the panicked Jess reacts without thinking (or possibly assuming Lieutenant Fuller’s suspicions were correct) and beats Peter to death with a fire poker. In the aftermath, Lieutenant Fuller wraps the case up, believing Peter went nuts after being spurned by Jess, completely oblivious that Billy is still hiding in the attic.

The Summary:
As I said, this was my first time seeing Black Christmas, much to my shame. I was well aware of its place in horror history, and its twist ending, and somewhat familiar with the plot since I’ve seen the 2006 remake a few times but never found time to watch the original. Consequently, much of my opinion comes from love of Halloween, which clearly borrowed many elements from this film, especially regarding the mysterious and stalkerish nature of its disturbed killer. It was interesting seeing how much focus was placed on the sorority sisters and how relatable they were, Jess especially. She’s making difficult decisions at a difficult time of her life and dealing with a difficult boyfriend, all while being increasingly unnerved by the Moaner’s ghastly phone calls. Barb might’ve been an obnoxious and rowdy character, but I appreciated her subtle layers and the insecurities she was dealing with. Mrs. Mac was a fantastic addition and John Saxon brought a lot of authority to his role, especially in how he chastised dismissive Sergeant Nash, whose ineptitude cost lives and time. Billy’s obscene language and deranged behaviour becomes increasingly harrowing and malicious as he specifically targets each girl, and I loved the mystery surrounding him as we never learn anything about him or even see what he looks like. My only complaint is that we’re fully aware that Billy is in the sorority house and that Peter is innocent, meaning there’s little suspense around who’s behind it all, but it was still thrilling knowing Billy was always lurking and watching and could strike at any moment. Ultimately, I feel this is a fair rating as Black Christmas laid the foundation for the slasher sub-genre but many of its most distinguishable features were done far better in subsequent films, though I did enjoy the character drama and the sense of dread that built throughout the film.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Is Black Christmas a Christmas tradition for you? Which of the sorority sisters was your favourite? Were you shocked to see the film tackling abortions? Do you think it detracted from the horror to know that Billy was in the house? Which of the kills was your favourite? What’s your favourite Christmas-themed scary movie? Use the comments below to discuss Black Christmas, check out my other horror content, and donate to my Ko-Fi if you’d like to see me review the other Black Christmas movies.

Movie Night: Creepshow

Dr. K6 Comments

Click here to listen to my guest spot on the Anthological podcast discussing this film

Released: 10 November 1982
Director: George A. Romero
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
Budget: $8 million
Stars: Carrie Nye, Jon Lormer, Stephen King, Leslie Nielsen, Ted Danson, Hal Holbrook, Fritz Weaver, E. G. Marshall, and Joe King

The Plot:
Abused Billy Hopkins (Joe King) takes solace in Creepshow, a horror anthology comic with tales of a cursed family’s Father’s Day, a simple-minded yokel’s encounter with a meteorite, a heartless millionaire’s spiteful vengeance, a mysterious crate, and a germaphobe’s battle against cockroaches.

The Background:
Horror has a long and successful association with anthologies for many decades. Books, comics, and television shows have benefitted from telling episodic or short-hand horror tales over the years, with celebrated horror author Stephen King using the medium to deliver some of his finest works. In 1982, King collaborated with the grandfather of the zombie genre, George A. Romero, on this cult classic horror anthology movie. While two of King’s existing short stories were adapted for the film, the remaining shorts were written specifically for the movie, with King and his young son appearing as actors. Star Ted Danson endured a gruelling experience shooting in a specially prepared pit to simulate being drowned while co-star Leslie Nielsen (then known as a dramatic actor) kept things light on set with a hidden fart machine. Additionally, although 20,000 live cockroaches were utilised for the “They’re Creeping Up on You” segment, horror legend Tom Savini bolstered their numbers with nuts and raisins. With a box office gross of over $21 million, Creepshow was a surprise success that proved popular with critics for its quirky blend of comedy and horror and became a horror classic. However, while Creepshow led to a comic book and two sequels of varying quality, distribution issues led to a planned television spin-off being reworked into the thematically similar Tales from the Darkside (1983 to 1988), though a well-regarded TV series revival did eventually emerge in 2019.

The Reviews:
As Creepshow is an anthology film comprised of five short stories and a framing narrative to tangentially link them together, it’s just logical that I go over each one individually and then discuss the overall film. The prologue and epilogue reveal that Creepshow is a horror anthology comic with pulp horror stories and advertisements for prank toys like x-ray glasses and voodoo dolls. Billy Hopkins (an avid horror fan judging by his bedroom) loves the comic but is berated by his cruel and strict father, Stan (Tom Atkins), for wasting his time on such trash. When Billy dares to speak back to his father, he gets a smack for his troubles, much to the chagrin of his loving but ultimately helpless mother (Iva Jean Saraceni). When Billy tries to appease his father and apologise, Tom sees through the trick and demands that he give up his comics and horror, forcing him to go to bed and tossing Creepshow in the trash. Unbeknownst to him, there is inexplicable supernatural power in those pages as the comic’s skeletal host, the Creep, lingers outside Billy’s window as he wishes death upon his father. The segments that follow are then presented as adaptations of the comic stories, complete with the occasional comic book panelling and colour effects to tie everything together. Once they’re all finished, two garbagemen (Marty Schiff and Tom Savini) retrieve the comic from the Hopkins’ trash and find the voucher for an “authentic” voodoo doll removed. Inside the Hopkins residence, the still grouchy and aggressive Tom complains of neck pain before experiencing stabbing pains all over. As Tom collapses in agony, Billy cackles gleefully in his bedroom as he repeatedly stabs at the voodoo doll, the image turning into the cover art for the next issue of Creepshow.

The wealthy Granthams are horrified when their patriarch reanimates and avenges himself upon them.

The first full-length story to spring to life is “Father’s Day”, which revolves around the filthy rich Grantham family. Every year, Sylvia (Carrie Nye), gathers the family for a special dinner. This year, her niece, Cass Blaine (Elizabeth Regan), brings her husband, Hank (Ed Harris), to meet her condescending aunt, her self-absorbed cousin, Richard (Warner Shook), and her great aunt, Bedelia (Viveca Lindfors). Between criticising Cass’s healthy appetite, Sylvia nonchalantly tells Hank that Bedelia, the family matriarch, once murdered the disgustingly wealthy and miserly Nathan Grantham (Lormer). Having accumulated vast wealth through unscrupulous and criminal means, the aged patriarch became aggressive, demanding, and paranoid, believing everyone was using him for his fortune and making constant, abusive demands of Bedelia, who was forced to care for him and endure his belittlement. Bedelia finally snapped after her father orchestrated the death of her fiancé, the only man who’d shown her any kindness, to keep her in check. Unable to take her father’s barrage of insults and childish demands for his Father’s Day cake, Bedelia cracked him in the head with an ash tray. Though free of Nathan’s abuse, Bedelia remained scarred and traumatised, placing a flower at his gravesite every Father’s Day. While drunkenly reminiscing about the murder, (which Sylvia helped cover up to profit from her inheritance), Bedelia is horrified when her father’s gaunt, gruesome corpse suddenly bursts from his grave and throttles her to death, still slurring demands for his cake. While having a smoke, Hank wanders into the family cemetery and ends up crushed when the zombified Nathan telekinetically drops a gravestone on him. When Cass expresses concern for her husband, Sylvia begrudgingly volunteers to look for him (hinting at her desire to seduce him), only to end up with her head twisted backwards by Nathan. Impatient and frustrated, Cass demands the lackadaisical and half-cut Richard help search for their missing party, only to be appalled when Nathan’s ghastly, maggot-ridden corpse bursts from the kitchen and proudly presents his cake: Sylvia’s severed head on a silver platter, covered with frosting and candles!

Unlucky halfwit Jordy is transformed by alien vegetation due to his stupidity.

Stephen King takes centre stage in “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” as the titular, dim-witted, hillbilly farmer. After being amazed by a falling meteorite, Jordy investigates and, dreaming of collecting a cool $200 from the “Department of Meteors” at the local college, touches the red-hot rock without thinking. Jordy’s dismayed at his characteristic bad luck and thinks he’s cost himself a payday when he tries to cool the meteorite and it cracks and is so preoccupied by his overactive imagination that he misses the strange goo that spills from the rock and touches his skin. Retreating home, hoping to repair the meteorite in the morning, Jordy enjoys a beer and some wrestling, sucking his fingers out of habit, but is perplexed and horrified to find a strange, green vegetation growing there. Though he immediately thinks to call a doctor, he stops himself when he imagines it leading to a painful amputation and resolves to simply ignore the problem. As the night continues, the vegetation rapidly spreads across his land, his house, and his body, causing him dreadful itching and to drink himself into a stupor after seeing the vegetation consume his face. Unable to take the itching, Jordy tries to relieve his discomfort with a bath, only to be inexplicably warned against it by his deceased father (Bingo O’Malley), who warns that water will only feed his condition. Realising that he’s beyond help anyway, Jordy gratefully plunges into the bath for some momentary relief but, by the morning, his entire farm, house, and body are consumed by the alien vegetation. Despite the short opting for bizarre, dumbfounded comedy, the finale is unexpectedly grim and emotional as the transformed Jordy cocks his gun, prays for some good luck for once in his life, and blows off what used to be his head. While this ends his torment, the alien vegetation continues to spread beyond Jordy’s land, potentially spelling doom for humanity.

Psychotic spurned husband Richards finds his revenge revisiting him in the form of drowned ghouls!

If you’re anything like me, you’ll be surprised to see the late, great comedy actor Leslie Nielsen delivering a seemingly uncharacteristic performance as maniacal, spurned millionaire Richard Vickers in “Something to Tide You Over”. In actuality, Nielsen started his career in more dramatic roles, though his comedic flair seeps through here as Richard is disturbingly jovial and avuncular in his vengeance. After learning that his wife, Becky (Gaylen Ross), is having an affair with square-jawed Harry Wentworth (Danson), Richard visits Harry, coldly dismissing his feelings and simply looking to assert his right over his property. Unimpressed by Harry’s threats, Richard lures his rival to Comfort Point, a private beach he owns, where he implies Becky is in danger. Since he has no choice, Harry makes the trip, only to find a shallow grave in the sand, which he’s forced into at gunpoint by the menacingly aloof millionaire. Harry’s forced to bury himself neck-deep in sand and to watch a live feed of Becky in the same position, slowly succumbing to the tide as it washes over her. Dismissing Harry’s pleas and bribes, Richard simply drives off, watching with glee from his high-tech home as the two struggle to hold their breath. While a glimmer of sanity seems to suggest Richard has some remorse for his actions, a stiff cocktail quickly alleviates such emotions and he dispassionately returns to tidy up the crime scene hours later, sure that his victims were washed out to sea. However, Richard is stunned when Becky and Harry return as drenched, shuffling revenants bent on revenge. Though initially nonplussed and confident his pistol can hold off the ghouls, Richard’s reduced to a cackling, terrified wretch as the two shrug off his assault and use their supernatural powers to grab him, subjecting him to the same fate they suffered and leaving the raving lunatic to see just how long he can hold his breath.

The crate’s ravenous inhabitant represents the perfect chance for Henry to off his abusive wife.

“The Crate” is easily the longest segment and centres on good friends Dexter Stanley (Weaver) and Henry Northrup (Holbrook), professors at Horlicks University. Meek and mild-mannered, Henry daydreams of murdering his emotionally abusive, borderline alcoholic wife, Wilma/Billy (Adrienne Barbeau), who frequently belittles and embarrasses him in front of his friends. Though Dexter feels for his timid friend’s predicament, he’s powerless to intervene, but this drama is superseded when university janitor Mike Latimer (Don Keefer) discovers a mysterious crate hidden under a basement staircase. Though apparently originating from an Arctic expedition, the crate is a mystery to Dexter, who forces it open and is horrified when the bizarre, voracious ape-like “Fluffy” (Darryl Ferrucci) bursts out and devours Mike’s hand (and then the rest of him!) Fleeing, the shellshocked Dexter babbles of the horror to a passing graduate student (Robert Harper) who, first sceptical and then curious of the creature, is promptly mauled and dragged off by Fluffy, which returns to its crate after each kill. The half-mad Dexter shares the gory story with Henry, begging him to help dispose of the creature in a nearby quarry. Though loyal to his clearly traumatised friend, Henry sees this as the ideal way to dispose of his abusive wife and promptly drugs Dexter, clears up the crime scene, and lures Billy to the university on the pretence of helping a young girl who’s been assaulted by Dexter. Eager to both mock the girl’s ordeal and further demean Henry, the tanked-up Billy races over and, suspecting nothing from her meek husband, willingly enters the creature’s hovel without fear. Seizing his opportunity, Henry finally enacts his fantasies and desperately calls for the monster to awaken and kill his wife, only to be met with silence and a barrage of insults from Billy. Just as she’s done criticising his manhood, Fluffy pops out to feed. Though disgusted, Henry finds the courage to reseal the crate and dump it (and the bodies) in the quarry as Dexter suggested. Despite some apprehension, both men agree to stay quiet, though henry’s insistence that the ravenous creature has drowned turns out to be false when we see Fluffy tearing through the submerged crate.

Cruel germaphobe Pratt gets his comeuppance when he’s set upon by a swarm of cockroaches.

The final story, “They’re Creeping Up on You!”, forces us to share about twenty minutes with uncompromising, belligerent, and extremely wealthy businessman Upson Pratt (Marshall), a germaphobe who lives in a sparse, air-tight penthouse apartment and conducts all his business via telephone and computers. Pratt begins the story battling a cockroach infestation, spraying and stamping the bugs, demanding an exterminator, and threatening to rob people of their livelihoods if his demands are not met. Pratt is delighted to learn that his company’s recent successful corporate takeover resulted in the suicide of his business rival, Norman Castonmeyer, and dismissive towards Norman’s grieving widow, Lenora (Ann Muffly). When Lenora blames him for her husband’s death and wishes all kinds of pain upon the cruel entrepreneur, Pratt simply laughs, having fended off such insults all his life just as effectively as he’s stamped out bugs. Still, Pratt is increasingly disgusted and troubled by the cockroaches, which appear in his food, his equipment, and soon swarm throughout his apartment during a blackout. Having insulted an alienated anyone who could help him, Pratt never wavers in his desire to avenge himself on those who have subjected him to the infestation but is soon overrun by persistent bugs. In his panic, Pratt flees to a more secure panic room only to be mocked by another call from Lenora, who wishes death upon him, and promptly suffers a fatal heart attack upon seeing cockroaches scuttling around his bed. When the blackout lifts, the aggrieved, unsympathetic building handyman (David Early) stops by to check on the unresponsive Pratt. While the cockroaches seem to have disappeared, perhaps vanished now Norman’s death has been avenged or being manifestations of Pratt’s isolation and paranoia, they soon burst from his corpse, tearing through his skin and enveloping his shredded remains.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Although Creepshow offers a unique premise, with its segments being stories in a comic book, the comic book hook isn’t used much. Sure, some shots are framed by comic book panels, actors are rendered against colourful backdrops, and each story fades into an artist’s depiction of the ending, but it’s a tangential link, at best. While the Creep is a questionable animatronic creation, he has a fun, creepy design and it would’ve been nice to see him (and/or Billy) thumbing through the pages of Creepshow and reacting to the stories between segments. The film is an interesting, if occasionally awkward, blend of horror and comedy, with “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” being the worst offender. I’d like to say King is doing his best but Jordy is such a cartoonish buffoon that it’s hard to take his plight seriously, what with his bizarre fantasises about college professors and doctors. This seems to be a bait and switch, however, as the segment has an unexpected and emotional conclusion where Jordy blows what can loosely be described as his head off, but it doesn’t land quite as well since he’s such a bizarre moron prior. Creepshow really has an issue with pacing, to be honest, as the film is way too long at just over two hours and some stories drag on needlessly. I can’t help but think “The Crate” could’ve easily skipped right to Mike and Dexter examining the titular crate and cut out much of the dull build up. Sure, it effectively paints Billy as an abusive bitch and Henry as a timid, put upon husband, but we clearly see that in every interaction they have and dwelling upon how awful Billy is takes too much focus away from the monstrous Fluffy. While it’s likely it was intentional to paint Fluffy as an afterthought as the true horror was Billy’s belittling and vindictive ways, this segment outstayed its welcome by tacking on an odd final exchange between Henry and Dexter.

Though occasionally questionable, the practical effects are mostly gruesome highlights.

Even my favourite segment, “Something to Tide You Over”, suffers from uneven pacing. Richard’s threat and Harry’s awful predicament are well conveyed but things linger a little too long rather than focusing on Harry’s desperation and slow, painful death. It’s fun seeing Leslie Nielsen be such a despicable, crazed lunatic and there’s a fair bit of nuance to Richard as he shows glimmers of regret and madness throughout. The same can’t be said for Sylvia or any of the Grantham family, who were all obnoxious and thoroughly unlikable characters, or Pratt, who we delight in seeing tortured by the relentless cockroaches. While there’s not much gore in Creepshow and many of the scares are played for laughs, the practical effects are impressive. The squelching, zombified Nathan Grantham sets an early standard, rendering him as a grinning, rotting corpse who strangely exhibits telekinetic powers alongside superhuman strength, all while demanding his special cake. Harry and Becky’s waterlogged corpses are equally impressive, sporting sunken eyes, shrivelled features, and gushing bloody seawater when shot. Equally, the alien vegetation was really good in “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”, with grass, moss, and vines rapidly overtaking the simple-minded goon’s land, house and, most terrifyingly, his body. This is a slow process more akin to an infection than body horror, though the depiction of the fungus gradually consuming him and eventually transforming him into a vaguely humanoid grass man nicely tied into his desperation for relief from his suffering. Fluffy may be one of the most obvious hand puppets but it’s certainly a unique creature, being some kind of rabid monkey. It’s a little weird and incredibly convenient that it always returns to its crate and only attacks when it’s most dramatic, but Fluffy delivers the most gruesome gore of the movie as it claws, gouges, and bites at its victims.

Despite some intriguing performances, the wraparound is bland and the pacing drags the film down.

“They’re Creeping Up on You!” was probably my second favourite of the segments (“The Crate” is just too long for me to rate it at number two), but it still felt lacking at times. Pratt is a suitably deplorable excuse for a human being and I enjoyed seeing him squirm and get increasingly agitated as cockroaches swarm his germ-proof apartment. There definitely seems to be a suggestion of the supernatural here, even knowing how quickly cockroaches can infest buildings, as they increase the more he belittles others and delights in the death and grief he’s caused. Lenora’s calls, especially her ominous final message, suggest she is putting a death curse upon him, or that her husband is enacting a gruesome and fitting revenge for all the pain Pratt’s caused. Although Pratt’s corpse is also quite obviously a highly detailed dummy, it was quite unnerving to see the cockroaches burst through his skin and envelop him, with this final segment certainly bringing more of a creepy vibe to the proceedings as opposed to the black comedy and unsettling atmosphere of its predecessors. There’s something deeply disturbing about the usually jovial Leslie Nielsen coldly describing what he plans to do to Sam Malone, forcing Harry to bury himself in sand at gunpoint and watch his lover struggle against the tide. Richard has a madcap nature to him that makes him extremely unpredictable, with him coolly commanding every situation with a few curt words and threats rather than physical violence. It’s tough to pick whether Nathan Grantham was more cruel and vindictive than Billy as both are aggressive, patronising, and demanding individuals who push their victims to breaking point, meeting fitting ends as a result (though Nathan’s so stubborn and malicious that he literally returns from the dead to get his Father’s Day cake!)

The Summary:
Although I’m a big fan of horror, horror comedies, comedies, and comic books, Creepshow missed the mark for me in many ways. It’s always to be expected that some segments in an anthology film will be stronger than others. Creepshow certainly offers a variety of stories, but the film is just too long and some segments really outstay their welcome rather than telling fun, gory horror tales. I liked that each one had a different flavour, from bickering families faced with a spiteful zombie patriarch to a spurned husband enacting a chilling revenge and a bizarre monster living in a box and ready to eat an abusive wife. The practical effects were an obvious highlight, with the rare instances of gore being quite shocking, the undead appearing very tactile and disturbing, and even the unconvincing Fluffy making an impression since it’s so weird and wild. I enjoyed seeing some famous faces pop up here, especially Ted Danson and Leslie Nielsen, though it might’ve been a mistake to give Stephen King such a prominent role. Jordy is so dim-witted he makes Tom Cullen seem like a genius (M-O-O-N, that spells “genius”!) and I felt the comedic buffoonery of the character really lessened the emotional impact of his transformation and suicide. Similarly, while it helps to build sympathy to see just how put upon Henry is, “The Crate” is crippled by its overly long run time, which is doubly disappointing considering most of the other stories deliver on their premise in an acceptable length of time. I enjoyed seeing the likes of Pratt and Richard get their comeuppance, and how different each story was, but the wraparound segments felt lacking to me as they didn’t capitalise on the unique aspect of the Creepshow comic book. Ultimately, I can’t help but feel a little dissatisfied with Creepshow, which maybe crams too much into its runtime to be as effective as other horror anthologies and definitely has a format that’s more suited to an anthology television show than the big screen.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

How offended are you by my disappointment with Creepshow? Which of its short stories was your favourite? Do you agree that the pacing is off and it runs too long or were you satisfying by the length? What did you think to the special effects and sparing use of gore? Were you surprised to learn that Leslie Nielsen used to be a dramatic actor? Which of Creepshow’s sequels and counterparts is your favourite? Whatever you think about Creepshow, leave a comment, go check out my other horror anthology reviews and my guest spot on the Anthological podcast, and donate to my Ko-Fi to fund more reviews like this.

Movie Night [Godzilla Day]: Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla

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Toho’s famous atomic beast first emerged to wreck Tokyo on this day in Godzilla (Honda, 1954), and, in 2016, the day was subsequently declared “Godzilla Day”.

Released: 21 March 1974
Director: Jun Fukuda
Distributor: Toho
Budget: $1.2 million
Stars: Keisuke Shimizu, Isao Zushi, Saeko Kanagusuku, Kazunari Mori, Akihiko Hirata, and Kin’ichi Kusumi

The Plot:
Following the discovery of a doomsday prophecy regarding Godzilla (Zushi), the King of the Monsters seemingly goes on a rampage, only for the true culprit to be a mechanised doppelgänger (Mori) sent by aliens to destroy humanity!

The Background:
On 6 August 1946, and the height of the Second World War, the United States dropped two nuclear weapons on Hiroshima and Nagaski, killing tens of thousands of people and forcing the surrender of the Japanese Imperial Army. The radioactive fallout killed thousands more and left post-war Japan gripped with nuclear fear, a terror that took physical form with Gojira, the living embodiment of nuclear destruction. Although initially framed as Japan’s destructor, the King of the Monsters soon became the country’s reluctant saviour. Following the critical and commercial mauling of Godzilla vs. Megalon (Fukuda, 1973), Toho sought to reverse their fortunes by pitting Godzilla against a mechanical doppelgänger, Mechagodzilla, now one of Godzilla’s most persistent and popular enemies. Apparently the brainchild of producer Tomoyuki Tanaka and inspired by robot-themed anime and a similar metal duplicate of King Kong, Mechagodzilla was designed by Akihiko Iguchi and said to be made from a polyethylene material and fibre-reinforced plastic. While Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla performed slightly better at the box office compared to its predecessor, the film was ridiculed for its laughable plot, goofy presentation, and continuing the downward spiral of the franchise into childish nonsense. Still, the special effects were praised and Mechagodzilla returned in many forms to hound its organic counterpart, lending some credibility to this film being considered one of the better Godzilla movies of the 1970s.

The Review:
While visiting Okinawa, brothers Keisuke (Daimon) and Masahiko Shimizu (Kazuya Aoyama) witness Princess Nami (Beru-Bera Lin) suddenly collapse from apocalyptic visions of a monster (suspiciously echoing King Ghidorah). While the brothers rush to her side, they largely brush it off as Masahiko is more focused on excavating the Gyokusen Cave. Fortuitously, Masahiko discovers a strange piece of metal just as government archaeologist Saeko Kanagusuku (Reiko Tajima) arrives to document the ominous cave drawings depicting the Azumi’s guardian deity, King Caesar, and artifacts also foretelling a catastrophic monster event. While flying to Tokyo to consult renowned Professor Wakura (Hiroshi Koizumi), who’s also Keisuke’s uncle, Saeko bumps into Keisuke and is accosted by a shady man in dark glasses (Shin Kishida) who claims to be a reporter. Saeko also spots an ominous black cloud that eerily mirrors the prophecy’s “black mountain” that heralds the arrival of a destroyer. While Masahiko brings his discovery to Professor Hideto Miyajima (Hirata) at Mount Fuji (which has been beset by earthquakes), who identifies it as the ridiculously named “Space Titanium”, Wakura’s research is suddenly interrupted by an armed man, Yanagawa (Daigo Kusano), though he’s fended off by Keisuke after a comical scuffle. Mt. Fuji later erupts and what appears to be Godzilla emerges, apparently ready to enact the prophecy. “Luckily” for the locals, one of the lamest kaiju ever, Anguirus (Kusumi), opposes Godzilla, ending up badly beaten, having his jaw broken, and forced to retreat. Still, Anguirus chips Godzilla’s skin and reveals metal underneath, lending credibility to Keisuke’s suspicions that something isn’t right with the King of the Monsters.

While studying space metal and prophecies, our characters are shocked when two Godzillas appear!

Keisuke retrieves a sample from the fight that Professor Miyajima also identifies as Space Titanium, leading the brothers to join the professor and his daughter, Ikuko (Hiromi Matsushita), investigating “Godzilla” as it’s obliterating the local port and confronted by a second, more recognisable Godzilla! The group watches, stunned, as the two fight and the battle is overseen by mysterious, silver clad onlookers in a hockey sci-fi set resembling Star Trek (1966 to 1969). The titular Mechagodzilla initially appears to be the Big G himself, its metallic appearance concealed by flesh so convincing that the nation believes Godzilla has gone mad, just as the prophecy foretold, despite him having a distinctly different roar, very different atomic breath, and even walking different. Their first battle destroys Mechagodzilla’s façade, revealing it as a cyborg controlled by the sneering, malevolent Simeon Supreme Commander Kuronuma (Goro Mutsumi) of “Black Hole Planet 3”. When Mechagodzilla requires extensive repairs, the Simeons force Miyajima to assist in return for Ikuko’s safety. Kuronuma also orders Yanagawa to steal the King Ceasar statue (to keep the deity from threatening their plans), only for Keisuke to again intervene, revealing the Simeons’ grotesque ape-like appearance, and leaving Yanagawa dead when the shady reporter reveals himself to be Interpol agent Nanbara. Revealing that Interpol knows of the bizarre alien plot, Nanbara aids Keisuke in infiltrating the Simeon base to save Professor Miyajima and Ikuko from a laughable death chamber that threatens to boil them alive. While aliens are commonplace in Godzilla movies, the Simeons are some of the most unimpressive, descending into animalistic grunts and snarls when their human façade is lost and memorable only because of their ultimate weapon (and even that’s a rip-off!)

Mechagodzilla impresses by brutalising Anguirus and cutting an intimidating (if clunky) figure.

By this point, Godzilla’s firmly been established as Japan’s protector, so our heroes are stunned when he appears to go on a mindless rampage. Like Anguirus, Godzilla seems enraged by his doppelgänger as much as he is fiercely territorial over his people, leading Godzilla to attack Mechagodzilla with all his might and bathe in a lightning storm to boost his power. Sadly, Godzilla plays second fiddle to a handful of forgettable and interchangeable characters. I’m not sure what the benefit of having two professors was, for example, or why the female characters were so overlooked…or honestly what the point of having the brothers was since Keisuke and Nanbara would’ve made for a more entertaining duo. Most of the runtime focuses on a mad scramble to understand and then protect King Caesar’s artifacts, though I remain underwhelmed by the bizarre beast (Kusumi) and question why this screen time couldn’t have been allotted to Godzilla so he could battle his doppelgänger more. The film seems to depict King Caesar as the new kaiju on the block, but he looks so foolish and lacks the screen presence of Godzilla. Plus, thematically, it makes far more sense of Godzilla to be at the forefront considering Mechagodzilla is modelled after him, even if I’m not sure why the Simeons bothered. They barely managed to frame Godzilla, the prophecy seems to refer to another kaiju, and their motivations for conquest are so ill defined that I still don’t really know what they’re after. Indeed, they only seem to be included because someone behind the scenes was a fan of the then-recent Planet of the Apes films (Various, 1968 to 1973), with their true appearance being cheap, knockoffs of those movies.

The Nitty-Gritty:
So much of Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla hinges on this bizarre Azumi prophecy, which warns that a monster will appear after a series of warnings and destroy the world. Princess Nami specifically has visions of this, and the characters initially believe the prophecy refers to Godzilla when he goes nuts, but it all leads to a mystical energy beam that reveals King Caesar’s hiding place. King Caesar is a benevolent deity worshipped by the Azumi and, upon being awakened, immediately battles Mechagodzilla alongside Godzilla. So… who is this prophecy referring to? As I said, it paints King Ghidorah as the true threat, though could also refer to Titanosaurus (Tatsumi Fuyamoto), who appears in the next film as another Simeon minion (alongside a repaired Mechagodzilla). However, in the context of this film, the prophecy makes no sense and takes up screen time that could’ve been spent fleshing out the Simeons or giving us more Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla action. Interpol is depicted as a key organisation in combatting alien and kaiju threats, with Nanbara being a fun and mysterious ally to Keisuke, but very little about Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla makes sense, even by Godzilla’s standards. All the Simeons want to do is use their ultimate weapon to terrorise the landscape and kill the local kaiju, feats that Mechagodzilla becomes incapable of performing. Sure, it bests Anguirus but he’s like the weakest monster. Once it meets Godzilla, Mechagodzilla is critically damaged, and the aliens are forced to kidnap a human scientist to accelerate its repairs…when you’d think the Simeons would be the best people to fix Mechagodzilla considering they created the damn thing!

Mechagodzilla’s powerful arsenal briefly keeps Godzilla and his derpy ally at bay.

Godzilla’s looking pretty derpy here. His design has been softened and diluted to make him much kinder and more anthropomorphic, with him assuming a boxing stance and showing frustration when his atomic breath misses. Although Mechagodzilla is quite clunky and cumbersome and clearly limits Kazunari Mori’s movements, it’s an extremely striking and ambitious design. Sporting a version of Godzilla’s atomic breath, rainbow eye lasers, missile-like fingers, jet-like feet rockets, and a nigh-indestructible hide made of Space Titanium, Mechagodzilla sports quite the formidable design. However, it’s both directly controlled by the Simeons and prone to mechanical failures, requiring constant repairs and upgrades to enact the aliens’ diabolical plan. Mechagodzilla gets a serious power boost thanks to Professor Miyajima, gaining a cartoonish lightning bolt emitter from its chest and a fun jet form, and even spinning its head around to blast King Caesar and Godzilla at the same time! As ever, however, Anguirus looks absolutely awful. I’ve always hated this creature, with its weird squat legs, goofy face, and rubbery spiked back and tail, and he’s never struck me as a threat to anyone, so seeing him fighting the far superior Mechagodzilla was a joke. Anguirus tries his best, but I’d be lying if I didn’t take a perverse pleasure in seeing him tossed around and left a bloody, broken mess. King Caesar, a bizarre, lion…bear…thing that (a bit like Mothra) is woken from hibernation by a passionate (and super cheesy) song from Princess Nami. King Caesar’s meant to be a feared, all-powered protector but he looks like a raggedy puppet with his floppy, bat-like ears and his frayed hide flapping like a cheap costume. On the plus side, King Caesar is far more mobile than Godzilla and his metal double, moving much faster and hitting rugby tackles, but he just looks ridiculous and pathetic next to Godzilla and especially the impressive (if bulky) Mechagodzilla.

In the end, team work makes the dream work and sees Mechagodzilla reduce to scrap metal.

After Professor Miyajima repairs Mechagodzilla and their agents fail to acquire King Caesar’s statue, Kuronuma sends the supped-up Mechagodzilla against the Azumi deity. Unfortunately, Mechagodzilla’s trademark eye lasers prove ineffectual against King Caesar, who simply reflects them, and it’s so cumbersome that the spritelier King Caesar easily tackles it and tosses it with judo-like throws. Mechagodzilla’s finger missiles and chest bolt bring King Caesar close to suffering the same fate as Anguirus before Godzilla enters the fight. Mechagodzilla proves more formidable in their rematch, erecting an energy shield and fending off both kaiju with laser blasts, lightning bolts, and missiles. Mechagodzilla’s upgraded eye lasers and bolts even cause Godzilla to bleed, with arterial spray bursting from Godzilla’s wounds! However, Godzilla’s inexplicable new lightning powers grant him absurd magnetic abilities that attract his metallic foe and leave Mechagodzilla vulnerable to King Caesar’s tackles, and finally sees Godzilla wrench his metallic doppelgänger’s head off in an explosion of sparks. Aghast that his ultimate creation was defeated, things go from bad to worse for Kuronuma when Nanbara uses Professor Miyajima’s special magnetic pipe to disrupt the Simeon’s computer array, with Nanbara killing Kuronuma and his cohorts with ridiculous ease and he, Keisuke, and Miyajima fleeing from the alien’s base as it conveniently self-destructs. Oddly, the film and Masahiko’s dialogue imply Miyajima didn’t make it out of the base before it exploded, despite us clearly seeing that he did. Regardless, Princess Nami returns King Caesar’s statue and the Azumi deity returns to his slumber, while Godzilla heads back into the ocean for a rest, shards of Space Titanium raining all over for some other fool (benevolent or otherwise) to doubtless utilise in future movies.

The Summary:
It’s hard to expect much from many Godzilla movies. They have a formula and they stick to it, and I commend them for that but it’s clear to see that the formula was becoming very stale by this point. Godzilla lacks all the raw edge and menace he once had, being little more than a cartoon character come to life to fight on our behalf, which is potentially why he’s absent for so much of this movie as you can’t have your hero smashing cities! Indeed, it’s telling that this is exactly what Mechagodzilla does and that’s how we know “Godzilla” isn’t himself, beyond the obviously different roar and atomic breath. There was a lot of potential behind the Simeons using Mechagodzilla to turn the public and the military against Godzilla, but it is quickly squandered when Mechagodzilla’s obvious ruse is discovered and the mech goes in for repairs and Godzilla inexplicably vanishes. We’re then left following a bunch of idiots whose names I barely remember as they scrat about protecting King Caesar from Planet of the Apes and worrying about a prophecy that gets no payoff! The Simeons are some of the most ridiculous aliens I’ve ever seen, even for a Godzilla movie, and King Caesar is easily the worst kaiju design of them all, looking like a demented Muppet or a dog’s used chew toy! The only saving grace is Mechagodzilla, and even that’s a clunky, awkward, obviously plastic suit that looks extremely uncomfortable and cumbersome. Mechagodzilla has a fun array of weapons and could’ve been the catalyst from some really fun, bombastic fights, but again this all plays second fiddle to the Simeons and Godzilla ends up pulling some random lightning powers out of his ass to win (ironic, considering King Caesar could’ve been used as a substitute to tip the balance, but he sucks, so it’s no surprise). I was bitterly disappointed by Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, which promised so much and delivered so little, and I would honestly recommend simply watching clips of the titular fight that wasting your time on this mess of a film.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Am I being too harsh on Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla? Maybe you think it’s one of the best Godzilla movies of its era. Perhaps you can explain the Simeon plot and why I should care about an overblown prophecy with no payoff. Maybe you have no taste and you like King Caesar and Anguirus and think Godzilla’s magnetic powers make perfect sense. Perhaps you prefer a different incarnation of Mechagodzilla, or have another favourite Godzilla you want to share? Whatever the case, celebrate Godzilla leaving a comment below, check out my other Godzilla and kaiju reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other Godzilla movies for me to cover!

Movie Night [Day of the Dead]: 28 Days Later

Dr. K4 Comments

The Day of the Dead (or Dia de los Muertos) is a traditional Latin American holiday celebrated every November 1st. This is the perfect excuse to spotlight the long-running and ever-changing zombie genre, which is often used to parallel society and culture.  

Released: 1 November 2002
Director: Danny Boyle
Distributor: Fox Searchlight Pictures / 20th Century Fox
Budget: $8 million
Stars: Cillian Murphy, Naomie Harris, Megan Burns, Christopher Eccleston, and Brendan Gleeson

The Plot:
Twenty-eight days after rabid chimpanzees infected with a “Rage” virus spread an aggressive plague, bicycle courier Jim (Murphy) awakens to find London in shambles. After encountering other survivors, Jim follows a military broadcast promising sanctuary from the infected…

The Background:
Zombies have featured in movies in some form since the 1930s, initially portrayed as mindless slaves and popularly portrayed as the shambling undead thanks to the legendary George A. Romero. Like many, writer Alex Garland was directly inspired by Romero when dreaming up 28 Days Later, which came when zombies were having one of their many resurgences in horror cinema. Director Danny Boyle joined the project, impressed by Garland’s screenplay, which he saw as more of a post-apocalyptic story than a traditional zombie tale. 28 Days Later reimagined the living dead as voracious, aggressive infected individuals and achieved its iconic shots of deserted London streets by filming in short bursts early in the morning. Funding was a constant headache during production, leading to multiple alternate endings. Things took an eerie turn when filming coincided with the September 11 terrorist attacks, and rights issues have limited the film’s availability on streaming services, though 28 Days Later proved a massive box office success. Although zombie genre purists debated the film, 28 Days Later was universally praised for revitalising the concept, its stirring performances, unsettling atmosphere, and savage, fast-paced editing. The film inspired a wave of violent new takes on the genre and was followed by a similarly regarded sequel in 2007 and (eventually) the first of a proposed follow-up trilogy in 2025.

The Review:
28 Days Later has one of the most startling and dramatic openings in all of cinema. After a brief prelude where animal rights activists break into a secret laboratory to free some chimpanzees, the action picks up literally twenty-eight days later to find Jim alone in a dishevelled hospital. Confused and disorientated, he wanders the deserted hallways and stumbles onto the equally lifeless streets of London, seemingly left behind during the Rapture. For Jim, this is very puzzling as, from his perspective, he was ferrying a package across the city when he was hit by a car, only to wake up apparently the last man alive in the nation’s capital. Loading up on sugary drinks and venturing into the city on a whim, desperately calling out for anyone else, Jim gets his first glimpse of what’s happened when he sees headlines warning of a mass evacuation and military deployment. Bewildered, Jim finds a church full of bodies being feasted on by a handful of the infected, who immediately chase him, roaring and ravenous, into the streets. Malnourished and unprepared, Jim’s completely ill-equipped to escape or fight the infected horde. Indeed, much of Jim’s character arc is transitioning from a near useless, clueless bystander and into a more capable and proactive survivor, one who doesn’t hesitate to kill to defend himself and others and who actively makes plans to outwit the infected and any disreputable survivors. While Jim’s initially in disbelief that the Rage virus effectively wiped out the government and civilised society, the undeniable truth quickly sinks in after repeated attacks from the voracious infected and after he pays a sombre visit to his parents’ (Christopher Dunne and Emma Hitching) home and finds they’ve committed suicide rather than fall victim to the virus.

Jim wakes up to find London deserted and society in tatters from the infected.

Yet, despite the United Kingdom being a post-apocalyptic wasteland where bodies, abandoned cars, ransacked shops, and highly aggressive, zombie-like creatures lurk, Jim carries a glimmer of hope that not everything has gone to shit. This largely contrasts with Selena’s (Harris) perspective as she’s so hardened by the sudden destruction of everyday norms that she’s initially cold, pragmatic, and willing to hack apart her allies if there’s even a small chance of infection. Indeed, Mark (Noah Huntley) shares his harrowing escape from the infected, we never learn what Selena went through to go from chemist to cold-blooded survivor and are simply presented with a grim woman who refuses to let anyone slow her down or give in to hope. Despite her best efforts, Selena’s demeanour cools throughout not just Jim’s influence (regardless of her no-nonsense attitude, she fights to save him in the early going) but also spending time with Frank (Gleeson) and Hannah (Burns), a father/daughter duo who shelter them in their tower block flat and beg Jim and Selena to help them reach safe harbour at a military outpost. Moments of levity and normality are fleeting in 28 Days Later, but they flicker to life as the two stay, travel, and bond with Frank and Hannah, with Frank being a father figure to both and caring for Hannah’s welfare melting Selena’s ice-cold heart. The four make a good, fun surrogate family unit, bouncing ideas and opinions off each other and sticking together to gather resources and push through obstacles. While Jim advises against travelling through a tunnel, the four work together to replace a flat tyre and share some carefree moments. Jim’s so relieved to experience a brief flash of normality that he’s understandably horrified when he dreams of waking up alone once more, and noticeably hesitates when Frank is accidentally infected when they reach the military blockade.

In a world where it’s kill or be killed and a battle for survival, the slither of hope remains.

While Selena initially believes that Frank and Hannah, despite being good people, will inevitably be a burden, she warms to them and, despite her hardened attitude, can’t help but care for and protect others. She easily could’ve left any of them at any time but chooses to stick around and even becomes attracted to Jim, even if she still has walls around her heart. Selena is thus heartbroken for Hannah’s loss, equally distraught at first seeing her grouchy but affable father turn into a mindless monster and then witnessing him being gunned down. Although Selena was sceptical of salvation or a cure, she’s as grateful as Jim is when Major Henry West (Eccleston) rescues them and takes them into his heavily fortified mansion and offers the protection of his renegade soldiers. Like Major West, there’s a sense that all Selena has seen is death and violence, meaning she’s largely numb to it. By contrast, Jim’s noticeably rattled by it all, especially when he’s forced to kill an infected boy (Justin Hackney). Even then, Jim simply reacts to what happens, whereas Selena is always prepared, carrying a backpack of supplies and wielding a machete. By comparison, Hannah isn’t a fighter and even her dad, despite his cool riot gear setup, is more about first hunkering down and then travelling to a safer place where others can do the fighting. While Major West and his soldiers are more than capable of defending their turf, setting up trip wires, landmines, floodlights, and being well armed, their intentions are far from noble. Faced with a squad close to breaking point, Major West ordered them to make preparations and set up a false radio broadcast to bring in women and thus hope for the future, though Sergeant Farrell (Stuart McQuarrie) refuses to participate in sexual slavery and believes his commanding officer has gone mad.

While Major West shines as a reprehensible madman, the soldiers drag the film down for me.

I’ve always felt like 28 Days Later loses its way once Major West and his soldiers appear. The bleak, desolate atmosphere so meticulously established is replaced with a bunch of assholes who just want to muck about and bully struggling chef Private Jones (Leo Bill). To be fair, even douchebags like Corporal Mitchell (Ricci Harnett) and Private Bedford (Ray Panthaki) are quick to defend against the incoming infected. However, even their resources (which, strangely, include piles of electronics) cannot last forever and the restless men soon turn their eyes towards Selena and Hannah. While Major West initially chastises them, preferring a softly-softly approach, he’s quick to reveal his true intentions to Jim, hoping to coerce him to their side, but shows no hesitation in ordering Jim and the rebellious Sergeant Farrell to be killed. Though Private Jones objects to Corporal Mitchell choosing to stab Farrell rather than just shoot him, the others can’t wait to get their hands on Selena and Hannah. Amusingly though, despite all their training and weapons and preparation, the soldiers are easily overwhelmed by Jim and a few infected, showing that they were all bluster and no balls. In a film full of questionable, if relatable, performances (with Megan Burns being the weakest), 28 Days Later is elevated by Christopher Eccleston’s enigmatic presence. Major West exudes authority and initially welcomes the three, offering a sympathetic ear to their plight. However, his charming demeanour falters as the men grow increasingly restless and is soon shown to be a stone-cold pragmatist who sees their current situation as nothing out of the ordinary and has no compunction about chaining up the infected Private Mailer (Marvin Campbell) or letting his men rape women. For Major West, this is what’s necessary to learn more about the infected and rebuild society, but even he and his soldiers barely represent the worst of humanity as some are reluctant to follow his orders. While this shows that human nature is just as implicitly ugly as the infected are explicitly hideous, I do feel the film loses a lot of momentum once it clutters the screen with largely interchangeable soldiers.

The Nitty-Gritty:
For me, 28 Days Later is at its best when it’s showcasing the bleak, empty streets of London and the deserted motorways of the United Kingdom. It’s startling to see the normally busy and bustling city a literal ghost town as Jim wanders through the remnants of a once thriving society. Today, in a post-COVID world, these scenes hit even harder, with Jim discovering numerous posters of lost loved ones and left confused and horrified at the idea of some virus wiping out or driving away the populace. Jim’s initial goal is simply to find people and find out what’s happened, but he must work through the stages of grief before accepting the new status quo, insisting on visiting his parents and struggling to fight the infected. Conversely, Selena attacks with a viciousness that rivals that of the infected and keeps others at arm’s length, whereas Jim is still hopeful that there’s a chance for humanity, especially after seeing Frank and Hannah’s love and a plane flying overhead. Thus, 28 Days Later isn’t just about “survival” but what it means to live, with even Selena finding something more beyond violence thanks to their surrogate family. Still, things are pretty damn hopeless for the UK here as the government’s been wiped out (no big loss, really) and cities are abandoned or in flames. It’s left intentionally vague how many escaped before the UK was locked down, and Mark’s harrowing story of the masses literally trampling over each other again strikes a nerve post-COVID, but there’s also the suggestion that the rest of world is perfectly fine, meaning there’s a vague hope for the future even if the UK has been quarantined. For those left behind, it’s an endless fight for survival and some meaning beyond just living another day, with Major West having high hopes for rebuilding society with his morally skewed soldiers.

Those infected by Rage are voracious, aggressive, and far more capable than zombies ever were.

Of course, 28 Days Later isn’t a “zombie” film in the strictest sense but it’s clearly inspired by the genre and absolutely reinvigorated it, popularising fast and aggressive undead (or zombie-like creatures) that endure to this day. You know it’s not a typical zombie film right from the start, however, as 28 Days Later provides an explanation for its events with the vaguely defined Rage virus. This appears to be a man-made pathogen (though it can also be implied to have been inherent to the chimps) that drives the infected into a mindless, ravenous aggression where they attack and devour anyone on site. A bite or even a single drop of blood into a wound or orifice is enough for the Rage to near-instantly take hold, with Selena stating that you have between ten and twenty seconds to kill an infected before they fly into a wild rage, and there’s said to be no cure (largely because the chimps were released before the infection could be properly understood). The infected don’t seem to eat their victims, though they are driven by insatiable hunger and violently vomit blood and guts when starved. Major West is particularly curious about how long it takes the infected to starve and the film’s epilogue, which takes twenty-eight days after the initial twenty-eight days, indicates they need flesh to survive. The infected are extremely aggressive, exhibiting superhuman speed and strength and apparently having enhanced senses, particularly smell and hearing. If you see one, others soon swarm in a ravenous horde, crashing through windows and tearing through barricades in a desperate search for sustenance. Still, they’re easily killed (bullets, landmines, blades, baseball bats, and Molotov cocktails all work extremely well) and won’t return once killed, nor do they need their brains destroyed to be put down, but their sheer numbers and aggression make even one a formidable obstacle.

Jim fights back against the disreputable soldiers and miraculously survives a near death experience.

As pressing as the infected are as a threat, they are largely contained to cities and appear only sporadically. Like any good zombie (or zombie-adjacent) film, 28 Days Later is thus more concerned with the threat of human nature than its infected, with Major West and his soldiers posing more of a threat to Jim, Selena, and Hannah than the infected, whom they largely avoid on their road trip. The soldiers easily fend off the external threat but cannot deny their base instincts, relishing the thought of passing around Selena and Hannah and caring more about their sexual lusts than their dwindling numbers. Their overconfidence in their weapons is their greatest weakness as the untrained, scrawny Jim easily picks them off both by himself and by releasing the starving Private Mailer, who easily infects the soldiers and bring down their fort. Though Selena tries to spare Hannah the trauma of being raped by doping her on Valium, her feisty nature is quelled by the lustful Corporal Mitchell, leading Jim to leap to her defence and gouge the soldier’s eyes out in a rage. Selena’s so stunned by Jim’s animalistic behaviour that she almost mistakes him for an infected, yet she hesitates to kill him due to her feelings and is relieved to find he’s simply embraced his killer instinct to save them. As the three escape, however, Major West takes his revenge and shoots Jim, leading Hannah to feed him to his infected soldiers and Selena to desperately save Jim’s life at a nearby hospital. This is also where 28 Days Later falls apart a bit as the ending is so haphazard and nonsensical, with Jim miraculously surviving the gunshot and the three signalling a passing jet for aid. It’s clear that Jim was supposed to die, as in the alternative endings, and this slapdash “happy ending” just doesn’t gel well as a result. It would’ve been far easier to reshoot the scene with Major West to show him missing his shot than pretend like Selena could’ve ever saved Jim from a bullet to the gut.

The Summary:
It’s probably sacrilege to admit this but I’ve never been a fan of 28 Days Later. I find the film quite inconsistent and dull at times, the script is kind of all over the place with inconsistencies and obvious rewrites and changes, and the film loses so much momentum once Major West and his cronies show up. It’s a real shame as it starts so strongly, with Cillian Murphy wandering the eerily deserted streets of London and a palpable sense of dread and confusion presented through the visuals. Murphy does a good job as Jim, starting as a confused and somewhat useless leftover and eventually gaining a killer instinct that almost makes him indistinguishable from the infected. I enjoyed Selena’s no-nonsense portrayal as well, and that we never learn what made her so hardened to the post-apocalypse, and her character arc in learning there’s more to life than just surviving. I liked the surrogate family unit they built with Frank and Hannah, which was obviously doomed to end in tragedy but was far more appealing than having a bunch of dickhead soldiers eat up the screen time. Granted, Christopher Eccleston gave a captivating and chilling performance, standing out as the diamond in the rough, and Major West’s soldiers represented the worst of humanity, but I feel this angle stopped the film dead. There’s something here about the nature of humanity and the juxtaposition of an explicitly monstrous external threat being as dangerous as humanity’s base instincts, but I don’t think it was executed very well. I did like the depiction of the infected as ravenous, hyper aggressive, mindless animals and how quickly they spread the Rage virus. They’re not zombies at all and that’s made very clear, but they’re a significant threat and it’s still chilling seeing the United Kingdom left deserted and in shambles after just a few weeks of exposure. I absolutely consider 28 Days Later an influential film for many reasons and can see why so many like it and so many zombie purists abhorred it, especially back then, but I can’t say that it’s a favourite of mine or a film I’m inspired to watch much. It just feels too haphazard by the end, like there were too many ideas on the table and the simple, startling premise got muddled by rewrites and changes, making it an overall mediocre experience for me to this day.

My Rating:

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Pretty Good

Do you think I was too harsh on 28 Days Later? Were you a fan of the more aggressive and faster infected compared to slower zombies? What did you think to the bleak, empty city streets? Do you agree that the pacing and ending were a bit off? Which character was your favourite and did you like how the genre was changed by this film? What is your favourite zombie film and how are you celebrating the Day of the Dead today? Whatever your thoughts on 28 Days Later, and zombie films in general, feel free to leave a comment below, check out my other zombie content, and donate to my Ko-Fi for more.

Movie Night [Halloween]: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

Dr. K1 Comment

Starting as the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, Halloween is largely associated not just with ghosts, ghouls, and confectionery but also a long-running series of horror movies. Beginning with John Carpenter’s Halloween (Carpenter, 1978), largely credited with birthing the “slasher” sub-genre and one of the most influential films in all of horror.

Released: 13 October 1989
Director: Dominique Othenin-Girard
Distributor: Galaxy International Releasing
Budget: $5.5 million
Stars: Donald Pleasence, Danielle Harris, Don Shanks, Wendy Kaplan, Beau Starr, and Ellie Cornell

The Plot:
A year after a lacklustre defeat, serial killer Michael Myers/The Shape (Shanks) returns to Haddonfield to pursue his niece, Jamie Lloyd (Harris), who was left traumatised from their previous encounter and in the care of Michael’s increasingly manic former doctor, Sam Loomis (Pleasence).

The Background:
Widely dismissed upon release, John Carpenter’s Halloween became one of the most successful independent films thanks to its $63 million+ box office. It also heralded the start of a long-running and convoluted horror franchise bolstered by the commercial success of Halloween II (Rosenthal, 1981). After John Carpenter tried to turn Halloween into a horror anthology movie series with the abject failure of Halloween III: Season of the Witch (Wallace, 1982), the studio scrambled to bring Michael back with the aptly-named Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (Little, 1988), a commercial (if not critical) success that saw a fifth entry fast-tracked for the following year. The initial script capitalised on Halloween 4’s dramatic ending by having Jaime Lloyd join Michael Myers in his newest killing spree while another draft sought to humanise Myers, but producer Moustapha Akkad insisted on retaining much of Myers’ established character. A later script introduced the mysterious “Man in Black”, an element eventually downplayed and returned to in the troubled follow-up. Although Donald Pleasence and Danielle Harris returned, Ellie Cornell was disappointed when she was killed early on and Don Shanks took over as the iconic Shape, receiving an accidental broken nose from the deeply committed Pleasence! With a box office of $11.6 million, Halloween 5 was met with mixed reviews criticising Pleasence’s performance and the confusing inclusion of the Man in Black. Its poor reception led to a noticeable gap between the fifth and sixth films as Akkad sought to re-evaluate how to get the series back on track, with disastrous results.

The Review:
Halloween 5 opens with a truncated recap of the ending of Halloween 4, primarily focusing on Michael’s inauspicious end where he fell down a mine shaft. Naturally, the Shape survived and was washed away. Wounded and exhausted, Michael attempts to kill a kindly old hermit (Harper Roisman) but collapses from his injuries and spends the next year in a coma. The film implies that Michael’s running out of juice, as though he only “activates” every Halloween and must kill to keep his energy up, something explored further in the sequel. Jamie Lloyd was last seen attacking her stepmother, Darlene Carruthers (Karen Alston) while dressed in the same clown outfit Michael wore for his first kill but Halloween 5 goes to great lengths to downplay the seriousness of that. It’s not shown in any great detail, Dr. Loomis’s anguished reaction and attempt to kill Jamie is omitted, and it’s casually revealed that Darlene survived the attack. Halloween 5 this clearly walks back this ending, leaving Jamie severely traumatised in a local children’s clinic and rendered mute for the first half of the film. Consequently, Halloween 5 loses me right from the start. The filmmakers had a great opportunity to do something different with the franchise, to show Jamie teetering between following in her uncle’s footsteps and rejecting his murderous ways, to give Dr. Loomis a chance to atone for his failure with Michael, and to perhaps retire the Shape in favour of a new killer who could explore the later shenanigans with the Cult of Thorn without screwing up Michael’s character. Instead, Halloween 5 plays it safe by delivering a by-the-numbers slasher with very few new elements that progress the franchise.

Traumatised by her experiences, Jamie struggles to make sense of her connection to her uncle.

One of these elements is the continued exploration of Jamie’s convenient and chaotic psychic link with her uncle. Presumed to be because she’s his last living relative (that we know of at this point), Jamie senses Michael’s whereabouts and intentions and is haunted by nightmares where he’s either stalking her or she’s seeing through his eyes. These visions, coupled with the trauma she endured, leave Jamie a distressed mute subjected to a battery of tests and whose only links to the real world is her stepsister, Rachel Carruthers (Ellie Cornell), Rachel’s cheerful best friend, Tina Williams (Kaplan), and their dog, Max (Unknown). The three regularly visit, sneaking Max into the clinic and helping her prepare for the Halloween costume contest. Jamie later attends this with her friend, shy stutterer Billy Hill (Jeffrey Landman), and becomes increasingly concerned for their safety when her visions grow stronger on “Halloween Eve”. When Michael awakens, kills the hermit, and reclaims his mask, Jamie suffers seizures, convulsions, and panic attacks, scrawling warnings on her chalkboard and muttering gibberish, which both excites and drives Dr. Loomis frantic since he’s desperate to put an end to Michael for good. Jamie spends most of the first half in bed or in the clinic, routinely being shaken and accosted by the increasingly demented Dr. Loomis, who thinks nothing of yelling at her and badgering her to get a lead on Michael or who the Shape’s next victim is. Scarred, half crippled, and seemingly on the verge of madness from all the death and violence, Dr. Loomis has degenerated into the raving lunatic he was thought to be in the first movie and only receives assistance from Sheriff Ben Meeker (Beau Starr) because of their shared experiences in Halloween 4. Dr. Loomis is livid with Jamie, convinced she’s protecting her uncle (why she would do that isn’t clear) and guilt-tripping her into helping despite her being terrified and confused by her visions. Ultimately, Jamie agrees to help after being chased by Michael and seeing Billy and Tina attacked by her uncle, but by then Dr. Loomis has seemingly lost all reason and regularly uses the petrified child as bait (and even a human shield!)

In a town full of forgettable and oddball characters, it’s easy for rambunctious Tina to stand out.

Although Rachel still offers Jamie comfort, she doesn’t last long. Jamie is assaulted by visions of her stepsister and tries to warn her, but Michael inevitably kills Rachel offscreen. Although Tina goes to check on her friend and finds the house empty, Rachel’s all-but forgotten about until Jamie stumbles upon her lifeless corpse in the dilapidated Myers house. While this sucks for Rachel, Tina is more than a worthy substitute; a bubbly bundle of enthusiasm and energy, Tina is an infectious and adorable personality who treats Jamie like a little sister. Outrageous and outgoing, she regularly teases her boyfriend, Mike (Jonathan Chapin), an angsty greaser who’s obsessed with his car, and encourages their friends, Samantha Thomas (Tamara Glynn) and grocery store clerk “Spitz” (Matthew Walker), to dress up for a Halloween party at a local farm. Thanks to Jamie’s visions, Tina’s rescued after Michael masquerades as Mike but, upon seeing how unstable Jamie is, chastises Dr. Loomis and ignores his warnings. Embracing her nature as a free spirit, Tina goes and has fun, thinking nothing of it when Sam and Spitz sneak off to the barn (after Spitz fakes Sam (and us) out by imitating Myers), but doesn’t hesitate to get Jamie and Billy to safety when they escape the clinic to warn her of the danger. With Michael poised to kill the children, Tina steps in, taking a knife to the shoulder and promptly vanishing on a gurney, her fate unknown, and leaving Jamie forced to rely on Dr. Loomis. Indeed, while Sheriff Meeker tries to hunt Michael down, he and his men are always one step behind. Two of his patrolmen, Nick Ross (Frank Como) and Tom Farrah (David Ursin), are so woefully inept that they not only openly admit to being bad cops but are accompanied by ridiculous clown-like sound effects.

Sporting one of his worst looks, Michael’s shown to be cursed be an insatiable rage.

Now played by Don Shanks, Michael is as determined and unstoppable as ever but moves with a more deliberate, robotic grace. Stalking his prey in broad daylight from behind bushes, commandeering police cars, and driven by an insatiable rage to hunt down and kill his bloodline, Michael is cast as a horrific bogeyman for Jamie and the object of Dr. Loomis’s obsession. Sporting an ill-fitting mask and a mysterious rune tattoo on his wrist, Michael slaughters anyone in his way and seemingly goes out of his way to target Tina’s friends to both quench the rage driving him and, perhaps, sustain him as Halloween drags on. Still sporting severe scars to his hands (at the very least), Michael’s stoic visage contrasts with Dr. Loomis’s increased hysteria. Having similar scars and limping on a cane, Dr. Loomis and Michael are more similar than different by Halloween 5, especially as Dr. Loomis blatantly ignores local authority and hounds Jamie almost as much as Michael, waving her around in front of him like a dog’s chew toy. After luring Michael to the Myers house, Dr. Loomis tries to reason with him by promising to deliver Jamie to him, understanding that Michael believes killing Jamie will end his agonising rage. In these moments, the old Dr. Loomis shines through but his efforts are ultimately useless. Jamie also tries to reach her uncle, even convincing him to remove his mask and revealing that he’s suffering from the curse that drives him, but Michael lashes out both times. Haddonfield is also stalked by a mysterious “Man in Black” (also Shanks), who also has a rune tattoo and lurks around the Myers household, the town streets, and assaults the police station in the finale. This same rune is painted on the wall in Michael’s house, reinforcing a previously teased pagan connection to his rage and killing spree, but these elements are ultimately teasers for the sequel rather than anything significant here.

The Nitty-Gritty:
Halloween 4 teased that Michael’s bloodlust was somehow genetic and that Jamie was destined to follow the same dark path. This is largely downplayed in favour of a more supernatural bent to Michael’s character. The bond between him and Jamie is definitely implied to be supernatural and her visions and nightmares help spare some lives (at least for a while), though they’re forgotten by the third act, which descends into screaming and running and hiding. There’s the suggestion that Dr. Loomis is still trying to atone for failing Michael, but only in his interactions with the Shape, which are framed more as Dr. Loomis trying to subdue Myers so he can be captured or killed. Even Dr. Loomis’s plot to use Jamie as bait is part of this rather than true malicious intent on his part, but the line sure is blurred since Dr. Loomis is more unstable than ever. Dr. Loomis suggests that Michael is driven by rage that can only be quelled by killing and that he believes ending his bloodline will give him peace, something Dr. Loomis strongly suggests is a lie. We see Michael’s rage flare numerous times but, when he unmasks, a single tear runs down his cheek. This, coupled with those strange runes, strongly suggests that Michael’s not in full control of his actions. The film further suggests the Man in Black is part of this but also suggests it’s a supernatural element to Michael’s character. It’s all very vague and thus you can argue it doesn’t dilute the traditionally cryptic Myers, but it’s also explicit and bonkers enough to show that the franchise is on a slippery downhill slope.

Sadly, Halloween 5 is bogged down by toothless kills and half-baked ideas that go nowhere.

Still, one good reason to watch any slasher film is the kills. And the sex, of course. Halloween 5 is very light on the sex and nudity; Tina teases and straddles Mike a few times but is never seen engaging in sexual activity (though it’s heavily implied she has, and is perhaps high most of the time, directly violating the “rules” for a “Final Girl” and perhaps explaining her ambiguous fate). Sam and Spitz get it on in a barn thanks to some suspiciously redubbed moaning, but their sexy time is brutally interrupted when Michael skewers Spitz with a pitchfork. Michael then stalks Sam (who, credit to her, at least attempts to fight back) with a scythe, which makes for an awesome visual and makes me wish Myers had adopted this weapon over his traditional kitchen knife. Sadly, the way Sam’s death is framed implies Michael cuts her throat rather than beheading her and he inexplicably attacks Ross and Farrah with the pitchfork afterwards. If Myers did behead her, it’s not shown on camera; neither are Ross and Farrah’s deaths, just the aftermath, which are just two examples of how toothless Halloween 5 is. Similarly, while we see Rachel get stabbed, the film cuts away before going into detail, robbing her of a dignified death scene and reducing her to a jump scare when Jamie later finds her body. Many of Michael’s victims are strung up in his house in the finale, though none of their deaths are particularly inspiring. Mike’s was good, though. Michael toys with him at first, raising his ire by scratching his beloved car and then impaling him through the head with a garden claw. The editing is particularly disheartening in Halloween 5, robbing the kills of their impact and even making me question Tina’s ultimate fate. There is a cool shot of Michael chasing after Jamie in a car that’s really well lit, though, and I loved the derelict Myers house (even if it’s a recycled location for the finale). Otherwise, Halloween 5 can’t even bolster some goodwill through some decent sex and gore, leaving us to settle for the half-baked mystical connection between him and Jamie and Jamie’s obviously fractured mental state.

Thanks to Dr. Loomis’s bizarre choices, Michael is freed from captivity by a mysterious Man in Black…

To her credit, Danielle Harris does a great job in scenes where she’s suffering from her nightmares and in her interactions with Donald Pleasence. The shared fear and madness between the two is a highlight and certainly more appealing than the uninspired depiction of Myers, who’s mostly going through the motions. After escaping the clinic, Jamie and Billy desperately try to warn Tina, only to witness her being attacked by Myers. Determined to put Michael down, Dr. Loomis challenges the Shape to meet him at the rundown Myers house, where he waits with Jamie as semi-willing bait. After sending away the cops, Dr. Loomis tries to talk Michael down, only to get slashed across the chest and manhandled by the Shape, who then angrily pursues Jamie. Just as he’s poised to kill her, Michael falters and reveals he’s tortured by his nature, only to fly into a renewed rage and fall right into Dr. Loomis’s trap. Weighed down by a chain net, Michael’s an easy target for Dr. Loomis to blow away with a shotgun. Oh no, sorry, that doesn’t happen…instead, Dr. Loomis tranquilises Michael and bashes him over the head with a wooden plank? An odd decision considering Dr. Loomis spends the whole movie heavily implying he wants to kill Michael and even screams at him to “Die!” during the beat down (which also leaves Dr. Loomis collapsed from exhaustion and potential heart attack). Thus, Michael is arrested (!) and chained up in a cell to be transferred to a maximum-security prison. The shellshocked Jamie is taken from the station, only to be drawn inside by the sound of gunfire and screaming courtesy of the enigmatic Man in Black. Venturing into the ransacked station, Jamie finds Michael’s cell blown open and empty and is horrified by the realisation that her murderous uncle is once again on the loose…

The Summary:
I gave Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers a bad time for simply being a carbon copy of John Carpenter’s seminal original, and for adding very little to the franchise and effectively keeping it on life support by introducing Jamie Lloyd. However, that film ended with the tease that something new would happen in its sequel and, unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Just like how the Friday the 13th franchise (Various, 1980 to present) got cold feet about replacing Jason Voorhees (Various), Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers wimps out on going all-in with Jamie as a replacement for the Shape. This could’ve been an opportunity to explore Jamie’s descent into madness, to show the parallels between her and Michael, to show Dr. Loomis desperately trying to atone for his past and perhaps resolving to kill her by the end. Michael still could’ve gone on a killing spree in the background, perhaps getting slower and more fatigued as he goes, as though his essence were transferring to Jamie, who could’ve killed Dr. Loomis and been spirited away by the Man in Black. But, no. Instead, we get the psychic connection between the two that’s interesting but underdeveloped and forgotten about, another mindless killing spree from Michael, and another half-baked retread of the previous films as Dr. Loomis tries to reason with and destroy Michael. I did enjoy the dark turn Dr. Loomis takes here; seeing the physical and mental toll on his morals was really interesting and I loved that he was willing to put Jamie at risk and even let her die just to get his hands on Michael. Danielle Harris also did a great job, particularly in the first half where she’s mute and traumatised, and I adored Wendy Kaplan’s rambunctious character. However, the bungling cops, bizarre sound cues, and toothless gore all made Halloween 5 a shallow and dull experience, overall. The teases about the Cult of Thorn felt as random as everything else in this movie, as though the screenwriters were just making shit up as they went along and hoping for the best, and this diluted what could’ve been dramatic scenes, such as Dr. Loomis and Jamie trying to reach Michael. In the end, Halloween 5 is just another slasher that fails to capture the magic of the original and simply serves to show that we didn’t need to make a franchise out of this series.

My Rating:

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Could Be Better

Did you enjoy Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers? Were you also disappointed that Jamie didn’t take over as the killer? Were you annoyed that Rachel was killed off so unceremoniously? What did you think to Dr. Loomis’s fractured mental state and questionable morals? Were you disappointed by the lacklustre kills and cliff-hanger ending? How are you celebrating Halloween this year? Whatever your thoughts on Halloween, and the Halloween franchise, drop a comment below, support me on Ko-Fi, and have a spook-tacular Halloween!