Dr. K's Waiting Room

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Sixty-five million years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth. These massive beasts existed for about 180 million years and came in all shapes and sizes, before finally going extinct following a cataclysmic event that forever changed our world and rendered these creatures mere fossils to be discovered and studied. Fittingly, “Dinosaur Day” is actually celebrated twice a year, giving dino fans the world over ample opportunities to pay homage to this near-mythical titans.

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Released: 18 July 2001
Director: Joe Johnston
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Budget: $93 million
Stars: Sam Neill, William H. Macy, Téa Leoni, Trevor Morgan, Alessandro Nivola, and Laura Dern

The Plot:
When Paul (Macy) and Amanda Kirby’s (Leoni) son, Eric (Morgan), is stranded on Isla Sorna, the estranged couple enlist Doctor Alan Grant (Neill) to help them brave the genetically resurrected dinosaurs that reside there and rescue him.

The Background:
In 1993, legendary director Steven Spielberg teamed up with special effects wizards Stan Winston, Phil Tippett, and Dennis Muren to turn Michael Crichton’s bestselling Jurassic Park (ibid, 1990) into a pioneering blockbuster. Despite grossing over $1.030 billion at the box office and overwhelmingly positive reviews, both Crichton and Spielberg were reluctant to work on sequel. Ultimately, while The Lost World: Jurassic Park (ibid, 1997) broke box office records, it was met with mixed reviews and even Spielberg believed it failed to match expectations. Thus, he passed the director’s chair to his friend Joe Johnston since he felt the series needed fresh blood behind the camera. Initial ideas to have Dr. Alan Grant stranded on a dinosaur-infested island were scrapped, as was a sequence involving a motorcycle chase against a pack of Velociraptors, but the idea of characters being marooned on the island continued to persist. Star Sam Neill eagerly signed on, believing he could improve on his original performance, and Stan Winston and Industrial Light & Magic returned to provide the dinosaur effects. Various versions of the film’s newest dinosaur, the Spinosaurus, were created; it was purposely chosen as a more horrifying counterpart to the returning Tyrannosaurs rex and was so powerful that it tore the animatronic T. rex’s head off! Although Spielberg afforded Johnston complete creative freedom, he had a chair reserved for him on set and insisted that Pteranodons were included after the were cut from the last two films. With a box office gross just shy of $370 million, Jurassic Park III became the lowest-grossing film in the franchise and was subjected to near unanimous negative reviews that criticised the redundant narrative, muddled tone, and ridiculous moments. In time, Jurassic Park III has been re-evaluated and come to be regarded as the black sheep of the franchise, but this was far from the end for the series, which made a dramatic comeback in 2015 that (more or less) successfully revived the franchise.

The Review:
I think a lot of us take for granted just how big Jurassic Park was when it first released; undeniably, the film redefined what a modern blockbuster could be and brought cutting-edge CGI effects and animatronics to the forefront of cinema, to say nothing of the wave of “Dinomania” it unleashed. Although I have no love for the book or its literary follow-up, I, like pretty much my entire generation, was captivated by Jurassic Park and much of this enthusiasm meant that I was overly generous towards the sequel movie for the longest time. It made sense: I liked Jurassic Park, I liked Jeff Goldblum, so of course I had to like The Lost World. Unfortunately, time has not been kind to The Lost World, which fumbled in areas where the first film succeeded, but I definitely think that it pretty much tapped out the appeal and reach of the concept, especially once it showed dinosaurs in the outside world. All this is to say that I’ve always been disappointed by Jurassic Park III; sure, it features some new dinosaurs and even recycles sequences from the book into its content, but there’s a reason why it’s the shortest and most universally disliked of the franchise. In a word, the film is just unnecessary, and offers very little to entice fans of the original back, to the point where you may as well just watch Jurassic Park three times and you’d probably get more enjoyment than suffering through the surprisingly disappointing follow-ups.

The first indication that we’re simply retreading old ground is that the film immediately returns to Isla Sorna and the majority of it takes place in this setting. It makes sense; the unfamiliarity of an isolated island adds to the wonder and danger of the franchise, but we’d seen everything this setting could offer in the last two movies and Jurassic Park III really could’ve done with trying something different, especially after The Lost World established that dinosaurs were basically free to roam as they desired, within their capabilities. One way Jurassic Park III attempts to stand out is by addressing the scientific inaccuracies in the dinosaurs; even though the first film did cover this quite conclusively, Grant makes a point to clearly spell out that the island’s genetically-engineered dinosaurs were “theme park monsters” and that the real science is found in fossils, a sentiment that remains true today. However, the dinosaurs were real enough to haunt not only Grant’s scientific career but also his nightmares. While he remains awestruck at having seen close approximations to dinosaurs up close and personal, he has no desire to ever return to the island, much less encounter them again. But, as ever, he can’t turn down the chance to inject some serious cash into his Velociraptor research when Paul Kirby comes asking for his expertise in taking him and his wife on a tour of the island. Of course, this is all a ruse; the couple have no money to offer him and have simply tricked him into helping them navigate the island’s dangers to rescue their son, but Grant’s experience is immediately hampered by the fact that he’s never actually been to Isla Sorna before, to say nothing of the Kirbys’ foolishness when it comes to heeding Grant’s advice and warnings about the local wildlife.

Despite Paul being little more than a painter and decorator, he and his estranged wife somehow pull together the funds not just to fly to Isla Sorna, but to hire some unscrupulous characters to transport them and stave off the ravenous dinosaurs with some serious firepower. However, these would-be mercenaries prove as ill-equipped as the Kirbys, who are immediately in over their heads and realise that they’ve vastly underestimated the dangers of the island. It doesn’t help that Amanda is painfully idiotic; not only does she yell into a megaphone as soon as they land but she, more than any of the other characters, constantly ignores or disregards Grant’s expertise, putting herself and the others in danger when the carnivores come sniffing around for their next meal. Grant is incensed to learn the truth and even more perturbed when the survivors are stranded after the Spinosaurus destroys their plane and devours their satellite phone, but even then his main concern is reaching the safety of the coast rather than actively searching for the couple’s lost son, Eric (indeed, it’s heavily implied that Grant thinks the boy is dead). Following a Velociraptor attack, Grant is separated from the couple but runs across Eric, who has done a decent job of surviving by himself thanks to his adaptability, knowledge of dinosaurs from Grant’s research, and resources afforded by InGen’s abandoned facilities. Grant, now far more comfortable with children thanks to his experiences in the first film and his close relationship with former flame Doctor Ellie Sattler’s (Dern) infant son Charlie (Blake Bryan), is very impressed by Eric’s survival instincts over the last eight weeks. Eric uses tear gas and even Tyrannosaurs rex urine to keep the dinosaurs at bay but he’s more upset at the prospect of his estranged parents trying to work together than he is by the locals. However, their shared trauma and determination to find Eric brings the two closer together but their joy at being reunited is cut short when they’re separated by a massive fence, with the Spinosaurus hot on their heels, and driven into the dilapidated aviary. Once he’s back with his parents, Eric reverts back to being a scared kid and fades into the background; he consoles Grant over the apparent loss of his assistant, Billy Brennan (Nivola), but basically just becomes another screaming would-be meal for the Spinosaurus.

As ever, the humans are under constant threat from the genetically-recreated dinosaurs; while there’s a sense of wonderment about herbivores like the Corythosaurus and Parasaurolophus, the Velociraptors remain a persistent danger to the group. Grant continues to be enamoured with the pack hunters, which now sport rudimentary feathers and an intelligence beyond even his expectations as they call to each other, signal for help, and even use live, injured humans as bait to lure in other victims. This time around, the Velociraptor threat is only escalated thanks to Billy secretly stealing their eggs to sell on the black market to help fund Grant’s research, which causes the creatures to furiously hunt them throughout. For the first time, winged dinosaurs play a key role in the events of the franchise; in one of Jurassic Park III’s better sequences, one ripped right out of the first book, the group stumble into the twisted, rusted remains of a Pteranodon aviary and the giant, bat-like creatures briefly carry Eric off to their young before Billy successfully rescues him in what appears to be redemptive act of self-sacrifice but which the would-be black marketeer inexplicably survives. The franchise’s most recognisable dinosaur and brand mascot, the Tyrannosaurs rex, also reappears but, sadly, it’s little more than a cameo; the T. rex is primarily here to show off the bigger, badder Spinosaurus, which not only makes an immediate impression by splattering Cooper (John Diehl) all over the Kirbys’ plane but easily bests the T. rex and snaps its neck in a startling show of power. Unfortunately, this means that we’re denied a proper battle between the two or a suitable opponent to slay or challenge the Spinosaurus in the finale, though the Spinosaurus’ threat lingers over the entirety of the film and recalls the constant sense of dread the characters faced from the T. rex in the first. Far larger, with a crocodile-like jaw and massive talon-like claws, the Spinosaurus is Isla Sorna’s undisputed apex predator, unhindered by any weaknesses and capable of fending off any obstacle, swimming through water, and even…somehow…sneaking up on its prey despite not only its massive size but the constant ringing of the satellite phone in its stomach!

The Nitty-Gritty:
Jurassic Park III tries so hard to emulate the epic wonder of the first film but there’s just not enough material left to support it. John Williams’ sweeping, iconic theme still permeates the picture despite him being replaced by composer Don Davis, and the awesome sight of seeing dinosaurs brought to life onscreen remains, but it’s undeniable that it’s just not as impressive as it was the first time around. These issues are only compounded by some absolutely detestable characters; Paul and Amanda Kirby are clueless, deceitful morons who are difficult to root for, especially in the case of the foolhardy Amanda, whose desperate need to rescue her son costs the lives of three other people and endangers them all on numerous occasions. Téa Leoni is easily the worst part of this film; she’s so wooden and rigid and just mumbles her way through the narrative, dragging every scene down and making Amanda a thoroughly unlikeable and moronic character. Paul is a spineless fool who’s in way over his head and I can absolutely understand Grant’s exasperation at being surrounded by such ridiculous characters, and his admiration for Eric at somehow breaking the chain and being a smart and capable young boy. Billy’s side plot where he plans to sell the Velociraptor eggs is an interesting wrinkle, but it really doesn’t go anywhere and is basically a scaled down version of the plot seen in The Lost World, plus it’s difficult to really care about Billy’s betrayal of his mentor or his apparent death because about he only thing Billy has going for him before his greed is revealed is that he has a “lucky backpack”.

As ever, the main selling point is the dinosaurs. While, for the most part, they still look as amazing as ever, it’s clear that the quality of the animatronics and CGI have taken a hit despite Jurassic Park II having the highest budget of the original trilogy. The animatronic dinosaurs, especially, look far less realistic than before; it’s almost as if the filmmakers got lazy or rushed the process, coasting on the influential effects of the first film and putting in less effort, with the brief appearance by the Ceratosaurus being a particularly poor effect, but a lot of the CGI is surprisingly awful. I can’t help but be disappointed at how unconvincing the ’raptor puppets are this time around; it might not have been so bad if the film didn’t choose to explore the depths of Grant’s trauma by having him experience a nightmare involving a talking ’raptor (though, admittedly, I do find this scene hilarious!) A ’raptor does make an impression when the characters are exploring the ruins of an InGen facility, chasing them through the dark corridors, scaling cage walls to reach its prey and even signalling for help, much to Grant’s horror and amazement, though this does result in a pretty lacklustre chase through a herd of herbivores that is, again, a pale imitation of the first film. Although the Spinosaurus often also looks cartoonish and its battle with the T. rex is disappointingly brief, it is truly horrifying. Clearly chosen for its fearsome appearance and for looming over even the T. rex with an ominous poise, the Spinosaurus is a nightmarish creature that really pushes Jurassic Park III into monster movie territory as it glares at its prey and stalks them with vicious purpose. Indeed, Jurassic Park III’s better moments are when it leans into horror; the Pteranodon attack is especially evocative of this, with the massive prehistoric bird/lizards looming and flapping through the mist like something out of a slasher movie, to say nothing of the terrifying way the Spinosaurus cuts through the water in the dead of night during a torrential downpour. Although the Jurassic Park films have often strived to be more than monster movies, these more terrifying and intense sequences are a definite highlight and demonstrate that there was still some gas left in the tank for the franchise, it was just sadly hampered by an overall poor execution.

After narrowly escaping the Pteranodons, the survivors finally manage to retrieve Paul’s annoying satellite phone from a pile of Spinosaurus excrement (again evoking imagery from the first film) and Grant makes a frantic call for help to Ellie. The Spinosaurus attacks, however, while the group is sailing on a barge; since we were denied a proper T. rex vs Spinosaurus showdown, though, the franchise’s newest, most dangerous predator yet is simply scared off after Grant ignites some oil with a flare gun, making for a painfully unsatisfying final showdown with the vicious carnivore. Instead, as ever, Jurassic Park III falls back on the Velociraptors for one last scare; having tracked the humans and the eggs Billy stole, the Velociraptors corner them on the beach and appear ready to strike; however, Grant manages to confuse the pack by randomly blowing into a replica ’raptor larynx. Just then, the film simply comes to an end when Ellie was somehow not only able to understand that Grant was on the island but was also able to get the US Navy to storm the beach for a rescue, scaring off the ’raptors, who reclaim their eggs and run into the jungle. Just like in the first movie, Grant and the other survivors (even, inexplicably, Billy) are airlifted to safety and left to contemplate the beauty, awe, and danger of the long-extinct dinosaurs, but again this is simply the same ending as in Jurassic Park but with an additional bit of family drama slapped on top of it! The tension and horror of the island rekindles the relationship between the Kirbys, who are overjoyed to be reunited with their son, who is equally pleased to see his parents finally getting along, and all it took was a few lives and the threat of mortal danger to bring them back together. Although he isn’t going to get the funding he was promised, it seems as though Grant is content to have faced his fears, though I would argue that his experiences on Isla Sorna only galvanised his dislike for InGen’s genetically-engineered monstrosities.

The Summary:
It’s really hard to rate Jurassic Park II very high as the entire film just feels like an unnecessary cash-grab, one final desperate attempt to wring the life out of a franchise that, at the time, really only had enough gas for two movies (and even then, the second one was a questionable effort). Certainly, there’s enough material in Michael Crichton’s books and the prehistoric to be reconfigured into another movie, but Jurassic Park III plays things way too safe. It’s just a shorter, less fanciful, and far less thrilling retread of the first film: Grant is a grouchy traditionalist forced to adapt to a dangerous situation, he’s forced to bond and work alongside a kid, there are ill-prepared morons running around just looking to get eaten, and there’s a monstrous prehistoric predator stomping around looking to snap everybody up. Even the sub-plot about stealing the ’raptor eggs is half-baked and familiar, and the effects somehow look worse than in the original Jurassic Park despite the higher budget and what I would assume would be the refinement of those original techniques. Sam Neill puts in a great performance but even he can’t save this grating cast; Téa Leoni is always dreadful, and William H. Macy just lacks the charisma to be all that compelling. I did enjoy the sadly underutilised Pteranodons and the monstrous Spinosaurus, but the filmmakers really dropped the ball by not having a longer, more brutal fight scene between ol’ Spiney and the T. rex. Thankfully, the revived entries would correct this, and many of Jurassic Park III’s mistakes, but that doesn’t help wash the sour taste of this ill-conceived, rushed, and lazy entry out of the mouth. Just watch the first one again and then jump to the fourth, it’s the best way.

My Rating:

Terrible

Are you a fan of Jurassic Park III? Do you think I’ve judged the film too harshly and that there are actually some positives to be found here? Were you happy to see Dr. Alan Grant return and what did you think to the Kirbys? What did you think to the Spinosaurus and would you have liked to see a more competitive fight between it and the T. rex? Do you agree that the film was too lazy and that the concept was tapped out by this point? Which of Jurassic Park’s sequels is your favourite or do you consider the first one to be the best? How are you celebrating Dinosaur Day this year? Whatever your thoughts on Jurassic Park III, and dinosaurs in general, leave them below or drop a comment on my social media.