The first issue of Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT) was published in May of 1984. Since then, the TMNT have gone on to achieve worldwide mainstream success thanks not only to their original comics run but also a number of influential cartoons, videogames, and wave-upon-wave of action figures. This year, I’m emphasising third entries and time travel shenanigans in the popular franchise every Tuesday in May!
Released: 19 March 1993 Director: Stuart Gillard Distributor: New Line Cinema Budget: $21 million Stars: Brian Tochi/Mark Caso, Corey Feldman/Jim Raposa, Tim Kelleher/Matt Hill, Robbie Rist/David Fraser, Vivian Wu, Sab Shimono, Stuart Wilson, Paige Turco, and Elias Koteas
The Plot: When reporter April O’Neil (Turco) purchases an ancient Japanese sceptre that allows those simultaneously holding it in different centuries to switch places in time, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles travel to feudal Japan to rescue her from the clutches of the villainous Lord Norinaga (Shimono), teaming up with rebel leader Misu (Wu) and, in the process, opposing Norinaga’s oppressive campaign against her people.
The Background: As I’ve detailed previously, the TMNT were originally created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird to be a violent pastiche of comic book troupes before being catapulted to mainstream success by the unbelievably popular 1987 cartoon. It was probably inevitable that this would lead to a live-action feature film, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Barron, 1990) proved to be both a technically impressive financial success and a cult favourite. Although Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (Pressman, 1991) received comparatively mixedreviews, it still did wellat the box office and I, for one, regard it as an under-rated entry in the franchise. The TMNT’s brand remained popular and successful, however, but there were a number of noticeable changes made for the third live-action film; first of all, Jim Henson’s studio was no longer involved in the production, and the animatronics created by All Effects Company were far less impressive. Secondly, their most iconic enemy, Oroku Saki/The Shredder, was entirely absent due to a slight case of death; and, finally, the film featured a time travel plot that took the narrative out of the sewers and often has it erroneously referred to as Turtles in Time. Although some of the original cast members returned after skipping the second film, and despite debuting at number one at the U.S. box office, TMNT III’s $54.4 million worldwide gross made it the least successful of the films so far, and the film was universally panned. Thanks to its dumbed down plot and characterisations, nonsensical narrative, and childish humour, TMNT III is widely regarded as one of the lowest points in the franchise; plans for a fourth film were scrapped and it would be nearly ten years before the TMNT made it back to cinema screens.
The Review: Rather than opening up on the streets of New York City, a location more than prominent to the TMNT and the previous films, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III begins in 1603 Japan and finds Prince Kenshin (Henry Hayashi) being captured by samurai warriors as Mitsu watches on helplessly. We’re then reintroduced to the TMNT, still in their awesome abandoned subway lair, not through a fun or gritty action scene but, instead, through a musical montage that has the four show off their dance moves alongside their ninja skills. Sadly, this is one of the few times that the TMNT will actually use their weapons in the film, and an early warning sign that the film is going to be focused much more on slapstick buffoonery than its predecessors. Things haven’t changed too much for the TMNT since the last film; they’re still pushed to hone their ninja skills by their master and father figure, Splinter (James Murray), still obsessed with pizza, and Raphael (Kelleher/Hill) is still the gruff hot-head of the group who’s constantly frustrated that all of their efforts to keep people safe go unrecognised by the general public since they’re forced to hide underground. Because of this tantrum, he storms off in a huff and misses the gift that their ace reporter human friend April O’Neil shows off to them: an ancient Japanese sceptre she bought from a flea market.
The TMNT travel to feudal Japan to rescue April and end up winning over a group of rebels.
Back in the past, Kenshin, the son of powerful warlord Lord Norinaga, also stumbles upon the same sceptre alongside a scroll depicting the TMNT (or “kappa”, as he calls them) and reads aloud the inscription on the sceptre. This activates the sceptre in the present time and causes April and Kenshin to switch places (and, inexplicably, clothing thanks to the sceptre’s magic); since Donatello (Feldman/Raposa) “does machines”, he’s somehow able to use his computer to study the sceptre and work out that it operates by switching individuals of equal mass and weight in time. Oh, and there’s also an arbitrary time limit on how long the TMNT have to rescue April, meaning they only have sixty hours to complete the mission before the space/time continuum goes “out of sync”. Swapping places with four of Lord Norinaga’s Honour Guard, the TMNT find themselves garbed in ceremonial armour and in the middle of a raid upon a nearby village and, in the confusion, Michelangelo (Rist/Fraser) is captured by Mitsu and her fledgling rebellion. Luckily, he and the others soon earn the respect and admiration of the rebels after they save the life of young Yoshi (Travis A. Moon), one of the few things that Leonardo (Tochi/Caso) gets to do beyond showcasing his bizarre lack of brainpower. This, as much as the purity of the unpolluted landscape, brings Raphael a serenity he never knew existed; he also forms a bond with Yoshi, surprising himself by imparting advice about the boy’s temper and desire to fight rather than have fun and enjoy his childhood. While Donatello and Leonardo are determined to construct a replica sceptre to return them home, Mikey and Raph are actually tempted to remain in the past, where they’re accepted and revered.
While Lord Norinagauses the old ways and Walker opts for artillery, neither are intimidating villains.
There’s no question that Lord Norinaga is a poor substitute for the far more intimidating Shredder; I think one of the most undeniable failings of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III is that it lacks a strong, iconic villain like the Shredder for the TMNT to go up against. A proud man who believes in maintaining his position and family name through power, Lord Norinaga is a power-hungry warlord shamed by his son’s rebellious ways and with a staunch belief in the might of his army. Lord Norinaga is aided by Walker (Wilson), an unscrupulous English trader who gleefully supplies him with gunpowder and other armaments and resources for his war. Walker scoffs at the Japanese clan’s ancient superstitions and their out-dated ways and is more of a futurist, believing in the unrivalled power of guns and artillery rather than ancient relics and fantasies. Surrounded by a gaggle of underappreciated buffoons, Walker is nevertheless intrigued by April’s spontaneous arrival in feudal Japan and goes to great lengths to track down the missing sceptre, including sacking a nearby village using his superior weapons and manipulating Lord Norinaga into purchasing his cannons and ammunitions in order to fend off the “demons” who now threaten his empire. A sneering, manipulative, and calculating opportunist, Walker delights in the fortune and power recent events bring him but is more of a pantomime villain than a truly intimidating foe; Michelangelo likens him to Clint Eastwood, but he’s more like the late, great Rik Mayall in his appearance and mannerisms.
Despite the bigger cast with new and old faces, most of them really don’t get much to do.
Although she played a prominent supporting role in the previous two films as an audience surrogate and a valued ally to the TMNT, April gets quite a bit more screen time in this third entry; when transported to the past, she’s branded a witch by Lord Norinaga and locked in a dungeon and the TMNT’s entire motivation this time around is going back in time to rescue her. Although April spends much of the film either locked in a cell or in need of rescue, April proves herself to be rather feisty and capable; she tries to play upon the superstitions of her captors to in an attempt to intimidate them and frequently hurls abuse their way. Since the TMNT need to swap places with those from the past, Michelangelo brings in their old ally, Casey Jones (Koteas), to watch over Splinter, their lair, and the time-displaced Japanese warriors. Sadly, this means that there really isn’t anything substantial for Casey to do in the film except babysit and be used for questionable comic relief, but Koteas does play a dual role in the film as April finds herself locked up alongside Whit after he unsuccessfully tried to lead a mutiny against Walker. The film is also populated by a number of new characters; Kenshin is the rebellious son of the warmongering Lord Norinaga, who openly opposes his father’s dreams of conquest and is anxious to get back to the past and reunite with Mistu. Though the headstrong leader of a vastly outnumbered rebellion, Mitsu also ends up becoming little more than a damsel in distress when Whit betrays them and takes her, and the real sceptre, to Lord Norinaga in a misguided attempt to broker a deal with Walker.
The Nitty-Gritty: On the surface, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III tries to coast off of the success and reputation of its predecessors and the mammoth franchise as a whole; it recreates the subway set from the second film, returns many of the same voice actors from the last two movies, and even reuses the soundtrack from the first film, none of which really help to improve its presentation. While the first movie was (and, in my opinion, still is) the perfect blend between the violent source material and the more family-friendly cartoon series, the second leaned a bit more into humour and cartoony shenanigans; however, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III takes all of these latter elements and brings them right to the forefront. No longer are the TMNT shrouded by the darkness of night (which really doesn’t help hide how inferior their suits are) and they’ve been distilled down to the most basic of characterisations. Even Leonardo, typically the level-headed and intelligent leader of the group, is portrayed as a complete idiot here, and the focus of their dialogue is now firmly on cringey pop culture references, catchphrases, and idiotic statements that will probably make little kids laugh but will leave older viewers rolling their eyes. It is, essentially, a live-action cartoon and, while there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, it is a noticeable downgrade considering the first movie was also a live-action cartoon but it didn’t treat its audience like they were juvenile idiots or pander to the lowest common denominator. Here, all nuance is completely cast aside; the TMNT are generally too busy making fools of themselves and messing about, so when heartfelt moments like Raph’s bond with Yoshi do occur they fall flat because of all the tomfoolery that proceeds them.
The suits are bad, the dialogue corny, and the film’s stuck with an out of place time travel gimmick.
It’s undeniable that the TMNT suits, while still impressive practical and animatronic effects, have taken a noticeable downgrade. The actors seem to be able to move more freely in these suits, to be fair, but they look far less believable and much more like plastic, rubbery outfits than in the last two films. The heads are easily the worst aspect; the eyes are far less expressive, the mouths don’t sync up as well, and everything just feels much more cheap and low quality. By far the worst offender, though, his Splinter; not only does the wise old rat sensei look far worse than his previous incarnations, but he’s rarely ever shown in full body in a clear attempt by the filmmakers to hide his limitations and mostly just peeps out through window frames or sits in his chair. The action sequences are equally underwhelming this time around; while the TMNT are far more spritely in this film, and fights are filmed in full daylight, the TMNT continue to use their weapons either defensively or for comedic effect and everything seems far more choreographed and dumbed down, which is a shame considering how many more armed opponents the TMNT have to contend with in this jaunt. Additionally, the film is lumbered with an inexplicable time travel plot that really doesn’t seem to gel all that well with the atmosphere of the previous films; obviously, the TMNT have endured similar fantastical plots in the cartoons and comics but, for me, the natural next step is either interdimensional travel or facing an otherworldly, sci-fi threat like Krang and Dimension-X. Clearly, the decision to set the film in feudal Japan was a budgetary one, and that’s a shame as there was no way that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III could hope to out-do the mutated opponents the TMNT faced in the last film when they’re stuck in the 17th century for the majority of the runtime.
Ultimately the TMNT are victorious and opt to return home for another cringey dance number.
With time fast running out, the TMNT have no choice but to join forces with the rebels in an all-out assault on Castle Norinaga in order to rescue Mitsu and reclaim the sceptre. This leads to them discovering that Lord Norinaga’s ancestor was previously defeated by four legendary kappa, and the odd insinuation that they’re somehow descended from these mythological creatures. It also involves a number of fight scenes pitting the TMNT and Mitsu against Lord Norinaga’s guards, and the rebels against his forces, though any kind of tension or danger is largely mitigated by an overuse of comical sound effects and embarrassing one-liners. Leo finally gets something significant to do, however, when he gets into an intense sword fight with Lord Norinaga that sees the warlord trapped in a giant bell after being bested. All the fighting bizarrely stops when Walker and his men hold everyone at gunpoint, such is the fear of his weapons, but he flees in terror after Leo ducks into his shell to avoid being killed by his cannon. Although Walker distracts them by throwing the sceptre at them to cover his escape, Whit ultimately finishes him off by blasting him with a flaming projectile and sending Walker plunging to his poorly-realised demise in the sea below. Afterwards, the TMNT briefly debate whether they should return to the present; while Donnie is eager to return home and Leo considers staying, Mikey and Raph are strongly tempted to stay since Raph feels appreciated there and Mikey has, apparently, fallen for Mitsu. Ultimately, after a brief fake-out, all four return home, with April, and the status quo is restored, with Kenshin and Mistu being reunited and the TMNT enjoying one last embarrassing dance number to bring this mess to an end.
The Summary: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III was one of the first movies I remember seeing at the cinema; like almost everyone back then, I was a big TMNT fan and excited to see them on the big screen, but I honestly don’t remember what I thought to it back in the day and barely even remember going to see it. In the years since, I’ve rarely returned to the film since there are far better TMNT options out there, so it seems redundant to waste my time watching one of the more inferior productions. It doesn’t help that everyone and their mother has talked at length about how bad this film is compared to its predecessors, which really doesn’t make me excited to drop the disc in when I could just watch the first, and infinitely superior, movie instead. I guess there’s enough here for little kids to find some enjoyment; it’s very cartoony and full of one-liners and slapstick and daft fight scenes, but it’s just depressing to see how the property got some dumbed down so quickly. The whole production looks and feels so much cheaper, from the suits to the voice acting and the plot, and I’ll always find it odd how the comics and animated stories were able to do a better job appealing to their core demographic than a big-budget live-action production. Even die-hard TMNT fans will struggle with this one, and it’s best left to gather dust on the shelf.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
Did you enjoy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III? How do you think the film holds up against the other TMNT films? Which of the TMNT is your favourite and why? What did you think to the time travel plot and the increased emphasis on comedic slapstick? Would you like to see another live-action TMNT film using modern technology to create more practical versions of the TMNT? How are you celebrating the TMNT’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on the TMNT, leave a comment down below.
Released: 22 June 2001 Director: Rob Cohen Distributor: Universal Pictures Budget: $38 million Stars: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Rick Yune, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, and Matt Schulze
The Plot: Dominic Toretto (Diesel) enjoys the adrenaline of street car racing and his fans treat him like a rock star. After a blazing encounter with the ruthless Johnny Tran (Yune), Dom decides to take racing newcomer Brian (Paul Walker) under his wing, unaware that Brian is an undercover cop who’s investigating both Dom and Tran’s involvement in money laundering and hijacking.
The Background: It’s easy to forget nowadays that the outrageously bombasticFast & Furious franchise (Various, 2001 to present) originally started out as a grounded thriller revolving round street racing and knock-off DVD recorders, but the film’s origins can actually be traced back to a Vibe magazine article about street racing titled “Racer X” and more than a few influences from the similarly-themedPoint Break (Bigelow, 1991). After coming to an agreement with Roger Corman, who released a film of the same title back in 1954, the producers initially reached out to rapper Marshall Mathers III/Eminem and Timothy Olyphant for the lead roles before settling on rising musclebound star Vin Diesel (who later became a driving force behind the franchise) and the late Paul Walker. Director Rob Cohen was adamant about including the right cars to reflect the no-holds-barred nature of the street racing scene; the sheer amount of vehicular muscle involved for the film’s notable “Race Wars” scene attracted over 1500 import car owners and enthusiasts to San Bernardino International Airport, where the scene was shot. Bringing in nearly $210 million at the box office, The Fast and the Furious was a massive hit, a success it emulated when it became the second-highest single-day DVD release of all time. Critics were somewhat divided, however; while some lauded it as a mindless, high-octane action picture and praised Diesel’s performance, others criticised it as unexciting and idiotic, Still, The Fast and the Furious kicked off one of the most successful film franchises of the modern era; by going bigger and more brazen with each entry, transitioning into a heist series and even incorporating bombastic, almost sci-fi logic, the franchise has become almost unexpectedly popular despite criticisms regarding its later over-the-top nature.
The Review: If I’m being brutally honest, the Fast and the Furious franchise has never really been of much interest to me; I’m a big fan of Vin Diesel, especially his under-rated science-fiction efforts, despite his obvious limitations as an actor and bizarre off-camera antics, but cars and car racing just aren’t really my thing. The closest I come to enjoying anything about cars is watching old episodes of Top Gear (1977 to 2001; 2002 to 2012, specifically), though I was more interested in the hilarious shenanigans of its presenters than the cars themselves, and even the twist that this first film is more of an action/thriller as opposed to the more over-the-top nature of its sequels can’t really outweigh the fact that I’m just not all that thrilled by car-based action. For me, the franchise has always had its appeal in its outrageous action and stunts, the macho bravado on display, and for playing around with the genre in fun ways, such as inserting jump cuts to pedals being pressed and gears being changed instead of punches and kicks like in traditional action and fight scenes. Yet, I have had an on again/off again relationship with the franchise, mainly because two of my close friends are big fans, and I’ve had some enjoyment from it, but it’s always interesting coming back to this first, far more grounded entry after seeing how bonkers it became over time. For example, rather than opening in the sweltering heat of Brazil or a dramatic, high-speed escape from a prison van, The Fast and the Furious opens in the sweltering heat of downtown Los Angeles and with the dramatic, high-speed heist of a truck carrying a cargo full of electronics (televisions, DVD players, and the like). We don’t actually see the faces of any of the drivers involved in this heist, which creates an air of mystery surrounding the crime that is central to the main plot of the movie; Dom and his crew are extremely proficient high-speed drivers, after all, so they’re natural suspects for these types of unusual, road-based crimes.
Fresh-faced wannabe racer Brian ruffles a few feathers amidst Dom’s crew of street racers.
Next, we’re introduced to Brian Spilner and given a taste of the film’s depiction of racing; basically, this involves a lot of shaky camera work, cutting to the actors inside their souped-up vehicles, and inserts of them changing gears and stamping on pedals while the cars race along, drift, and careen past gorgeous scenery. Although clearly skilled behind the wheel, Brian is frustrated at his inability to get up to top speed on the track, something he’ll need to improve at if he hopes to stand a chance in the city’s illegal drag races. To blow off steam, Brian heads to Toretto’s, a family-run diner where he regularly visits to order the same tuna sandwich from gorgeous proprietor Mia Toretto (Brewster). Although Brian is clearly flirting with Mia, who makes no bones about sugar-coating how mundane her job is but has little time for bullshit in her life, he’s oddly fascinated by her grim, musclebound brother. However, Brian’s constant presence at the diner and obvious fawning over Mia raises the ire of one of Dom’s crew, the abrasive Vince (Schulze), who clearly has a thing for Mia himself; unimpressed by Brian’s “faggot” attitude, Vince starts a brawl in the street and it’s up to Dom to separate the two. While Dom is embarrassed by his friend’s actions, he also takes an instant dislike to Brian; he not only orders him to stay away but his clout as a famed racer almost costs him his job at the Racer’s Edge garage, which supplies fuel, add-ons, and the famed Nitrous Oxide Systems (NOS) that can give even the slowest car an almost supernatural boost of speed at the twist of a valve. Luckily for Brian, the owner, Harry (Vyto Ruginis), plays peacemaker, though he advises Brian that he needs to work on his driving technique rather than pump his car full of NOS. However, Brian feels he needs the boost if he’s ever going to have a chance at competing in the night-time races and impressing the likes of Dom; though he sticks out against the other racers primarily for his fresh-faced good looks and lack of an entourage, he manages to ruffle a few feathers by inserting himself into the race by putting up his modified 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse as collateral.
Street legend Dom is the patriarch of his crew but is up to more than just racing for cash and pride.
Dom’s reputation as an expert racer proceeds him; everyone at the races knows him, women drool over him, and men both respect and envy him. Dom’s such a prominent face at the events that he’s able to set the rules of engagement, the buy-in price, and the rewards for the participants; while Brian has to psyche himself up for a race and packs his car full of NOS to try and compete, Dom is cool as a cucumber and unnervingly confident, carefully unleashing his supply of NOS at just the right time to out-race his opponents. Victorious, Dom immediately shoots down Brian’s happiness at almost pipping him to the post; Dom offers a scathing criticism of Brian’s driving, his overreliance on NOS, and his arrogance to assume that he would’ve won had his car not failed him, delivering easily one of my favourite lines of the film (and the franchise) when he bluntly tells him that “almost” isn’t good enough in a street race. Luckily for Brian, Dom’s notoriety extends to the cops; when he’s spotted on the streets, Dom is forced to accept Brian’s offer of a ride to escape to safety, which is enough to get him in Dom’s good graces and invited into his social circle. Having served two years hard time in the past for almost beating a man to death, Dom has no desire to return to prison, but the Corona-loving brute can’t deny himself the thrill of street racing; banned from ever having the chance to race legitimately, the only true freedom Dom has left comes from the inescapable exhilaration of a quarter-mile drag race. Dom’s story about his troubled youth exposes layers to him that surprise even Brian; portrayed as a tough, methodical force with an unbridled rage seething beneath his muscles, it’s surprising to find a vulnerability to Dom, who’s been forced to set aside whatever dreams he might’ve had and become this paternal, inspirational figure who, as Mia describes, pulls people towards him “like gravity” through his sheer charisma. Of course, it turns out that Dom’s garage and diner are just the front for his real operation; to fund his racing projects, he and his crew have been pulling off death-defying heists and selling knock-off electronics on the side, an operation that is causing truckers across the city to start arming themselves for protection and has attracted more police attention than his nightly drag races.
While Dom’s crew is fiercely loyal, Brian’s presence irks Vince, who has his sights set on Mia.
Dom’s crew is comprised of hyperactive statistician Jesse (Chad Lindberg), glorified lookout Leon (Johnny Strong), the aforementioned Vince, and Dom’s main squeeze, the only one tough enough to match him on the road and in the bed who doesn’t have a dick, Letty Ortiz (Rodriguez). Jesse acts as the team’s primary mechanic and is generally there to spout off the specifics of different cars (probably to keep Vin Diesel from having to remember any complicated lines), but this is instrumental in convincing Dom to allow Brian to race since the car he wagers is an attractive prospect and also in relaying Brian’s “history” to Dom through a quick internet search that is vital to Brian infiltrating the crew. Letty is clearly enamoured by Dom and in awe of both his physical presence and his driving skills, but their relationship is a little more complex than you might think; Dom appears almost dismissive of her in their first interaction, but eventually intervenes in the fight between Vince and Brian when she and Mia yell at him long enough, yet he acts quite sheepish when Letty later warns off the “skanks” sidling up to him. While Dom’s frustration with his crew at running to the hills also extends to Letty, but she endures his ire and curries favour with him by offering her body as stress relief. While Vince is pissed to find Brian invited into their social circle, Dom vouches for Brian since he was the only one to step up when the cops came calling. Although Brian infiltrates the crew and finds himself “owned” by Dom since he owes him a ten-second car, he continues to butt heads with Vince, especially after Dom publicly humiliates the tattooed Neanderthal; he gives Brian evils at Dom’s sumptuous barbecue and throws a tantrum when Mia drops her rule about dating Dom’s friends to go out with Brian. Thus, Vince is naturally aggrieved when he finds Brian snooping around a garage and immediately pegs him as a cop, a situation that Brian is barely able to talk himself out of, but Vince is left with his life literally in Brian’s hands after he’s shot during a later heist.
Brian’s true nature as an undercover cop changes his interactions and enrages Dom.
Things look bad for Brian after he’s apprehended by the cops, but rather than being taken to prison, he’s taken to a cushty safe house and asked for an update by Sergeant Tanner (Ted Levine) and given a grilling by agent Bilkins (Thom Barry) of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) for losing his Mitsubishi. Yes, it turns out that Brian Spilner is actually Brian O’Conner, a Los Angeles cop who’s been sent undercover to find out who’s behind the recent spate of hijackings, which have reached around $6 million worth of goods. Promised a promotion to detective for his efforts, Brian is faced with a ticking clock as the truckers are close to taking matters into their own hands but is confident that following Dom is the best way to figuring out whether he or someone else is the culprit. This reveal fundamentally alters the entire perception of Brian; previously quite aloof and a bit of a naïve goofball, he’s actually quite the snarky and intelligent cop. His longing to be part of Dom’s crew is reframed as the most efficient means of finding a lead, and his affection and interactions with his team, Mia especially, appear to simply be part of the job. Mia is intrigued by Brian; she’s surprised that he frequents the diner so much when their tuna is so famously bad and is aggravated by Vince’s dislike for the handsome goof yet is also clearly quietly impressed when he puts it all on the line to take part in the races in an effort to earn the respect of the other drivers. While she acts coy around him, Mia is clearly into Brian, and while Dom warns Brian not to break Mia’s heart, he doesn’t oppose their relationship; she’s genuinely happy to be put first for a change, and even showcases her own driving skills before ultimately ending up in bed with him. Mia is understandably hurt and angered when Brian is forced to reveal his true nature to her when Dom, Letty, and Vince head out on another heist, but begrudgingly agrees to lead him to them in order to protect her friends and family from being shot by armed truckers and hounded by every cop in the city.
Although Tran is clearly positioned as the bad guy, it’s Dom’s crew who are the true culprits.
After escaping from the cops when their drag race is interrupted, Dom and Brian accidentally drift into the territory of a rival racing gang led by Johnny Tran and his cousin, Lance Nguyen (Reggie Lee). Packing heat and favouring motorcycles, Tran’s gang has a tumultuous agreement with Dom to stay out of each other’s way and he delights in intimidating Dom by opening fire on Brian’s car and blowing it up. This first meeting is just a teaser for their upcoming showdown in the Race Wars, a massive drag race event for big money and fast cars that’s due to take place out in the desert, but the issues between Tran and Dom are as personal as they are professional since they fell out over a shady business deal and Dom getting a little too frisky with Tran’s sister. While investigating one of Tran’s garages, Brian watches as Tran and Lance sadistically torture Ted Gassner (Beau Holden) to get their engines for the Race Wars but is stunned when it turns out that Tran’s gang weren’t behind the hijackings. Indeed, when it’s confirmed that Dom and his crew are actually the culprits, these shady racers who we’ve been following and grown attached to throughout the film could actually be said to be the true villains of the piece. However, the term “anti-hero” is probably far more appropriate as they’re not out to maliciously hurt or kill anyone, and even the reprehensible Vince earns himself some sympathy when he’s shot by a trigger-happy trucker during what is meant to be the team’s last heist. Morality is further blurred when Tran, incensed by the bust at his house and the disrespect he feels has been thrown his way, publicly accuses Dom of being the one who called the cops on him; when he easily outraces Jesse at the Race Wars, Tran’s anger overflows when the heartbroken mechanic flees rather than part with his father’s MK3 Volkswagen Jetta and the two gangs get into a brief scuffle. Tran’s retribution is malicious and brutal; he and Lance ride past the Toretto home and viciously gun Jesse down, forcing Dom to face his fears and chase after them in his father’s Dodge Charger.
The Nitty-Gritty: While themes of family eventually became so synonymous with the Fast and Furious franchise that it’s something of a running gag these days, it’s a reasonably subtle theme here; Dom’s crew is like his family and he acts as their undisputed patriarch, protecting, advising, and even scolding them when necessary. He issues orders with a gravelly tone and his word is the law since he’s the biggest and the best of them all; it’s very much a hybrid of a traditional, catholic Italian family unit and almost a mob situation as they look to him for guidance and direction and must follow his lead whether they agree with it or not. Of course, family is more explicitly represented in Dom’s protective relationship with his little sister, Mia; while showing off the pimped out 1970 Dodge Charger R/T he built with his father, Dom tell Brian how his father crashed and burned to death before his eyes, showcasing a vulnerability from the obvious trauma of this incident, which left him openly afraid to drive the Dodge Charger and driven into a mindless rage to punish the man responsible. Trust and loyalty are very important to Dom and key elements of the film; this, of course, makes things extremely difficult when it’s revealed that Brian is an undercover cop, something Vince takes great pleasure in learning since he had his suspicions about Brian from the start. However, while he realises that he’s jeopardised his relationships with Dom and Mia by deceiving them, Brian becomes so attached to the two that he’s forced to re-evaluate his position and set aside his orders to help Dom chase down Tran and Lance in the finale. One thing I do love about The Fast and the Furious is how utterly 2001 it is; this is reflected not just in the nausea-inducing shaky cam and perpetually sweaty, outrageously attractive cast and their loose-fitting clothes, but also the heavy rap-centric soundtrack (including one of my favourites, “Rollin’ (Urban Assault Vehicle” by Limp Bizkit). This hip-hop influence is reflected in the portrayal of many of the supporting characters, with rapper Ja Rule featuring in a small cameo, and in the thumping beats of the score; The Fast and the Furious even had the best of both worlds by releasing a second, more nu-metal-themed soundtrack that’s much more my jam.
Car racing is more of a spectacle than a selling point, with the races being mostly low-key thrills.
The opening heist gives a taste of how versatile and proficient the drivers are; not only is Dom’s team capable of driving at high speeds in the dead of night in modified cars, but they’re also packing large grappling hooks to anchor and rappel themselves to other vehicles, and wield both regular and tranquilizer guns. Their skills at driving are so sharp that they’re able to outrace most regular cars and Letty slips between and under trucks when bombing along at breakneck speeds. In The Fast and the Furious, the city’s nightly street races are a commonplace annoyance for regular citizens; Leon monitors a police scanner, and the drivers immediately disperse when they’ve been discovered, adding an element of danger to the proceedings that makes things all the more thrilling. And yes, the film’s racing is very thrilling; the first drag race pits Dom against Brian, Edwin (Ja Rule), and Danny (R.J. de Vera) and sees their exhausts literally spitting fire (thanks to an atrocious CGI sequence where their engines explode like rockets!) as they barrel through the city streets on a makeshift track. Though it’s often painfully obvious that the actors aren’t actually blasting along at nearly two hundred miles per hour and it’s pretty hilarious when Brian engages his NOS and enters warp speed, there’s an exciting sense of speed here and things only get more intense as Harry’s warnings come to pass and Brian’s car literally breaks apart from the extreme speeds. Interestingly, actual car racing is more of a side plot than a selling point of the film; much of the middle portion revolves around Brian working with Dom’s crew to get his ride ready for the Race Wars event and the mystery of who’s behind the hijackings. Considering how much it’s built up throughout the film, you’d expect that the Race Wars would be the climactic finale but it’s actually little more than a means to escalate the tensions between Dom and Tran; Brian and Dom don’t even race in the event, instead it’s just Jesse stupidly ignoring Brian’s warnings and being outclassed by Tran’s coveted Honda S2000. This leaves the team one man short for their last heist, which sees Vince clinging to and hanging from a truck as the others desperately race around trying to help him, leading to Brian dramatically jumping to the truck from a speeding car and being forced to call in emergency medical aid for the wounded Vince, thus exposing himself to Dom and the others.
Cars and sex go hand in hand here, with sparks flying between Brain and both Torettos!
The Fast and the Furious is openly, unapologetically, and explicitly car porn. If you like your cars, then this is the film for you and the movie goes to great lengths to introduce and showcase them as being as important as any of its characters. Indeed, the cars are extensions of the characters, representing their ego, bravado, masculinity, and reputation on the streets; when you hear these cars coming and see them come bombing along, you’re supposed to look up in awe and be impressed, and nowhere is this more explicit that at the drag races, where drivers stand proudly by their cars, engines exposed, and boast about their tunings and refinements. It’s a very sexual and sordid presentation; semi-naked woman and well-cut men accompany these vehicles, and the camera lingers on both with a perverse fascination; they are both to be lusted after and coveted, and this is reflected in Brian’s admiration for certain cars and desperate need to have a car powerful and capable enough to impress in the races. This, by extension, would not only raise his stock amongst the thugs, lowlifes, and braggarts who take part in the races, but also earn him Dom’s respect and Mia’s eye; in this regard, the races are not only metaphorical dick-measuring contests, a way to prove how macho and capable each racer is, but also an almost ritualistic form of courting since it’s not enough to simply “stand by your car” and look cool. Indeed, sex and cars go hand-in-hand in The Fast and the Furious; a racer’s attractiveness is explicitly related to the type of car they drive and their skill behind the wheel; this is most obviously expressed when Edwin is promised sex with his sumptuous babe (Tammy Monica Gegamian) and is denied this (and a proposed threesome) when he loses the race. It’s also seen in Dom’s relationship with Letty, which is based as much on her ability to hang with her male counterparts as it is their intense sexual chemistry, and in the way Brian desperately longs for Dom’s approval and respect. There’s an undeniable homoerotic nature to their relationship; Brian gazes at Dom with a mixture of awe, admiration, and shyness and is desperate to show that he has what it takes to hang with him and his crew. Sure, it’s all part of his cover and part of his assignment to infiltrate Dom’s inner circle (not a euphemism…), but he develops a real kinship and sense of respect for the hulking racer that directly informs his more rebellious actions in the film’s final act.
Revenge unites Dom and Brian, before Brian lets his target go free out of respect…and love…
Despite spending the entire film preparing for the Race Wars, Dom and his team never get the chance to race against anyone at the event, much less Tran and his lackeys. Instead, Jesse has a short and unsuccessful fun in the desert and ends up going into hiding rather than give up his father’s car. This leaves Dom a man down for his last heist, which sees an armed trucker open fire on him, totalling his car, Letty sent careening into the desert, Vince left severely wounded, and Brian’s cover completely blown. Although clearly seething at this revelation, Dom is forced to focus on keeping Vince alive and stable but gets into it with Brian when he goes to his house to confront him thinking that he’s going to go off half-cocked. However, after sending Letty and Leon to safety, Dom’s plan is to grab a gun and fire up his father’s Dodge Charger so he can find Jesse before Tran can get to him, but things get very heated between the two former friends before a desperate Jesse arrives begging for Dom’s protection and is gunned down by Tran and Lance. In that moment, Brian chooses to pursue the two rather than bring Dom in and he races after them through the hilly streets of suburban Los Angeles. Enraged by Jesse’s death, Dom joins the pursuit and sends Lance tumbling down a hillside while Brian manages to anti-climatically shoot and kill Tran; with the score settled, Brian immediately leaps back into his car and pursues Dom when he makes his big getaway. Dom challenges Brian to follow him in a quarter-mile drag race across a railroad line and, realising that Toretto would truly rather die than go to jail, Brian has no choice but to accept; thanks to his NOS, Brian’s able to keep up with the Dodge Charger and avoid being smashed by the train, but a spot of engine trouble and the sudden appearance of a truck see Dom taking what is clearly a life-ending barrel roll across the road. Of course, Dom survives with only minor injuries, but his beloved car is wrecked; with sirens closing in on them, Brian takes one last, lingering look at the man he’s come to admire so much and decides to hand over the keys to his car, thereby gifting Dom the ten-second car he owes him and allowing Dom to evade capture and head out to Mexico to start his life anew.
The Summary: As I said up top, I’ve never really been a massive fan of the Fast and Furious franchise or car-based action films; hell, I’m not even really a big fan of Point Break, which kind of bored me by about hallway through. Injecting cars and high-octane races into the Point Break formula definitely makes it more appealing, though, and I’m surprised by how much I enjoyed The Fast and the Furious. It’s not a film I watch very often, even amongst the others in the franchise, but there’s something comforting about revisiting this simpler time in the series where character moments, low, far more personal stakes, and thrilling bursts of nonsense car action were the order of the day before physics-defying, superhuman feats. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the mindless nonsense of this action/car/spy mash-up franchise, but the first film hits a little different; maybe it’s the 2001 trappings such as the fashion and music, maybe it’s how young and slim (though still buff) Vin Diesel looks, and maybe it’s just that there’s a gritty tension to The Fast and the Furious that’s missing from later films. There’s a constant sense that everything could just explode at any moment; scenes between characters are charged with sexual and emotional tension that often results in heated exchanges and fist fights, the streets are depicted as a dangerous place to be because of gangs, shootings, illegal drag races, and armed truckers, but the real meat of the piece is the allure of Brian’s dual nature. Once it’s revealed that he’s a cop, the complexion of the movie and his interactions change and it’s interesting seeing his layers be revealed in this way, almost as much as realising there’s more to Dom than just being a rough, gruff brute. There’s definitely a sense of danger to everything, from the races to Brain’s investigation as the context provided is of a violent life and violent people, meaning characters can get hurt, shot, or even killed at a moment’s notice rather than just shrugging everything off. While some of the effects haven’t held up too well and I would’ve liked to see a bit more racing, especially at the Race Wars, there’s a surprising amount to like here; it’s sexy and sweaty when it needs to be, bursting with content for car aficionados, and a decent enough action/thriller to throw on with a few beers Corona and a pizza barbecue when you have some friends over.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Are you a fan of The Fast and the Furious? How do you think it compares to later entries in the franchise? Do you prefer this more grounded, gritty approach or do you prefer the more outrageous, bombastic nature of the sequels? What did you think to the relationship between Brian and Dom? Did you enjoy the street races on show here and were you also disappointed by the Race Wars? Which of Dom’s crew is your favourite and what did you think to the rivalry between him and Tran? Let me know your thoughts in the comments and tell me your favourite Fast and Furious movie on my social media.
Released: 10 April 2009 Director: James Wong Distributor: 20th Century Fox Budget: $30 million Stars: Justin Chatwin, Emmy Rossum, Chow Yun-fat, Jamie Chung, Joon Park, and James Marsters
The Plot: After breaking free from two-thousand years of imprisonment, Lord Piccolo (Marsters) begins scouring the world for the seven legendary Dragonballs, which he intends to gather to summon a magical dragon and gain immortality. After his beloved grandfather is killed protecting the four-star Dragonball, young outcast and martial arts prodigy Son Goku (Chatwin) teams up with a head-strong inventor Doctor Bulma Briefs (Rossum) and eccentric martial arts master Muten Roshi (Yung-fat) to track down the Dragonballs and avert word-wide disaster!
The Background: I might be a day early for “Piccolo Day” (or “Goku Day” if you prefer) but I’m never one to pass up a good excuse to celebrate all things Dragon Ball, which debuted in the pages of Weekly Shōnen Jump back in 1984. The creation of writer and artist Akira Toriyama, Dragon Ball originally borrowing many elements from Journey to the West(Cheng’en, 1592)before delving into a far more science-fiction-orientated approach with is successor series, Dragonball Z, which would come to define the entire franchise in popular, mainstream media. Dragonball Z was first licensed by Funimation in 1996; despite the omission of its often graphic and violent content, Dragonball Z was a massively popular anime and even led to several feature-length animated films, though these were generally produced without Toriyama’s direct involvement and often failed to align with established canon as a result. Development of a live-action Dragon Ball movie can be traced back to 1995, when noted Hong Kong action star Jackie Chan expressed an interest in taking on the iconic role of Son Goku; Toriyama himself would late state that Chan would have been his choice for the role if the actor was younger, but development of a live-action adaptation wouldn’t properly get underway until 2002, when 20th Century Fox acquired the rights and set to work developing a script and finding a director. In the end, it was youngster Justin Chatwin who won the lead role, and the production was forever condemned for “white-washing” as a result. James Marsters took on the role of the film’s antagonist, Lord Piccolo, and was particularly enthusiastic about the project given his love for the anime, though both he and co-star Cow Yun-fat were unimpressed to find they’d been duped into thinking the project had a higher budget and that director Stephen Chow would be in charge of the film. Dragonball Evolution’s $58.2 million worldwide gross meant it was a box office bomb, and the reviews were scathing across the board as critics bemoaned the lacklustre story and characterisations, its lack of fidelity to the source material, and it was slammed as being a surreal mess full of poor special effects and overacting; even Toriyama was disappointed by the adaptation, and plans for a number of sequels were subsequently cancelled.
The Review: I was a bit late to the Dragonball Z party as a kid since it took me a while to be able to watch it (satellite television isn’t cheap when you’re income is low), but I’ve been a long-time fan since I was a teenager and the idea of a live-action adaptation was quite exciting. However, right off the bat, I (and the wider audiences) were having to temper our expectations; many of us in the West grew up watching Dragonball Z and, arguably, that’s still the most popular iteration of Toriyama’s long-running franchise, but it wouldn’t make a huge amount of sense to do a big screen movie that skips of Goku’s time as a youth and establishing the fantasy world he lives in, so right away the idea was that we’d have to get through an “origin” story before we started to see Super Saiyans and alien, technological, and God-like beings challenging our heroes. I get the idea in principal but there is a counter argument to that thinking: start with Goku as a young twenty-something and do a truncated version of the Saiyan Saga since that’s what many people wanted to see and, if it’s successful, you can maybe do a prequel later down the line. Instead, though, Dragonball Evolution opted to focus more on reconfiguring the lesser-known Dragon Ball anime for its story, specifically elements of the Emperor Pilaf, Tournament, and Piccolo Sagas…which is pretty convenient for me since I’m much more familiar than the start and end of Goku’s childhood journey than the middle parts. Like all great movies, Dragonball Evolution opens with an opening narration that tells the legend of a maniacal tyrant known as Lord Piccolo, who terrorised the world alongside his monstrous minion, Ōzaru, before finally being sealed away using the mysterious “Mafuba” enchantment. Thankfully, Goku is only too aware of the Piccolo/Ōzaru legend thanks to the wise and benevolent teachings of his beloved grandfather, Gohan (Randall Duk Kim).
Despite his grandfather’s best efforts, Goku just wants to fit in and be able to talk to girls.
Unlike in the manga and anime, Goku has lived only a semi-sheltered life; he essentially lives out in the countryside, not far from the main city, and has been taught martial arts, legendary scripture, and the basics of ki by his elderly grandfather, a playful and mischievous old man who delights in sparring with his grandson in frankly ludicrous displays of green screen and “wire-fu”. Although Goku is a formidable opponent, Gohan emphasises that he relies far too much on his senses rather than the strength within him; Goku’s difficulty at mastering his ki to perform air-bending techniques is a recurring element in the film and part of his larger character arc of realising the true potential that dwells within him and turning it towards good. Sadly, however, Justin Chatwin isn’t really that great of a fit for Goku; he’s got the youthful charm, for sure, but lacks the physical stature and believability to really fill out the role. Not only that but he’s really not that great an actor; some of his line deliveries are embarrassingly cheesy and not in a good way. It’s strange as he does a decent job of conveying Goku’s frustrations and social awkwardness, but whenever he has to be “serious” he stumbles quite noticeably, making for an inconsistent and disappointing depiction of the goofy Saiyan fighter. Still, Goku is depicted as overtly superhuman, easily able to dodge and subdue even multiple opponents at once without even throwing a punch. However, he’s also as an outcast and, while grateful for his grandfather’s teachings, he longs to be accepted by his peers and to get the girl; in this case, the cute and attractive Chi-Chi (Chung). Although Chi-Chi has apparently been claimed by Goku’s long-time tormentor, Carey Fuller (Texas Battle), Goku is besotted by her but even more stunned to learn that she knows about ki. Clearing interested in him, she’s sympathetic to the abuse he suffers in school and invites him to her house party, which means he isn’t there when Piccolo comes calling for the Dragon Ball and kills Gohan. Chi-Chi continues to be full of surprises when Goku and his allies travel to the Stone Temple, only to find it a training ground for the fights of the World Martial Arts Tournament; there, Goku learns that Chi-Chi is actually an admirable fighter in her own right, with designs on taking part in the tournament, and the two grow close when she helps him to focus his ki. As the battle to recover the Dragon Balls escalates, Chi-Chi gets to show off some of her fighting prowess, but ultimately end sup the victim of Piccolo’s machinations when his shapeshifting ninja-like henchwoman, Mai (Eriko Tamura), assumes her form in order to get closer to Goku and steal his Dragon Balls.
Bulma and Yamcha are two of the film’s few high points but even they can’t save it from mediocrity.
Although Gohan told Goku that gathering all seven Dragon Balls will summon the mighty dragon Shenron and grant “one perfect wish”, it seems he didn’t fully believe this story, or the threat of the Nameks, until Piccolo kills his grandfather. Although devastated by this loss, Goku vows to protect his grandfather’s Four-Star Dragon Ball from falling into the wrong hands, which causes him to form an unlikely alliance with the headstrong Bulma, who attacks Goku after thinking he stole her Five-Star “Promethium Orb”. Although she has her Dragon Radar, Bulma is smart enough to agree that she needs backup and agrees to help Goku find Gohan’s old friend and master, Roshi, but holds Goku to his promise to help her locate her missing Dragon Ball. Bulma’s technology is essential to their group’s quest; not only can she locate Dragon Balls with her radar, but she has the vehicles to transport them vast distances and can even hold her own thanks to her pistol. While she is unimpressed with Roshi’s lewd attempts to get close to her, she attempts to charm Yamcha (Park) into helping them out when they crash into a whole, only to be spurned since the desert bandit set the trap specifically to try and rob them. A selfish, arrogant thief, Yamcha is initially dismissive of Roshi’s (literal) campfire tales about the coming danger but is convinced to help them out first by being impressed with Roshi’s incredible physical prowess and then by the promise of payment. I can’t explain why, but Yamcha is one of my favourite non-Saiyan characters from the anime and, while Joon park certainly doesn’t look anything like the character, he brings a certain appealing energy to the role that, while bordering on the ludicrous, makes him a far more charismatic character than Goku. Bulma and Yamcha remain the standout characters for me, and not just because I have an unapologetic crush on Emmy Rossum or a bias towards Yamcha; they have a decent amount on onscreen chemistry (certainly more then Chatwin and Chung, despite the latter’s best efforts), capture the spirit of the characters pretty well, and I even appreciate the little blue streak in Bulma’s hair as a nod to the source material.
Roshi endeavors to teach Goku to harness his ki, a technique markedly different in this adaptation.
Another relatively faithful highlight is Master Roshi; although he lacks the character’s trademark bald head, sunglasses, and beard, he at least wears the same loud Hawaiian shirts and exhibits a lewd, playful personality. An aloof and unusual master of the martial arts, Roshi is only too familiar with the threat posed by Piccolo and Ōzaru, which heralds the coming of the apocalypse. Distraught to learn of Gohan’s death and Piccolo’s return, Roshi insists on coming along and teaching Goku how to refine his ki: this involves forcing him to run through the desert carrying all of their supplies, performing one-handed headstands, and learning to master two things at once. While he’s definitely an oddball character, Roshi is dead serious about the threat posed by Piccolo and Ōzaru and can effortlessly hold his own in most fights; however, his primary purpose is delivering exposition regarding the Mafuba (which claims the lives of those who use it) and training Goku to harness his ki and learn the most powerful of all air-bending techniques, the Kamehameha Wave. It’s interesting that the depiction of ki is quite different here than in the source material; it’s more akin to what is seen in Avatar: The Last Airbender (2005 to 2008) in that characters are manipulating elements using their inner energy rather than literally channelling that energy into destructive attacks, and I’m not entirely sure why the change was made beyond a cursory implication that Piccolo favours for fire-based energy attacks since his attacks are often depicted in red. While Roshi pushed Goku’s strength and skills to the limits through rigorous and unorthodox training methods in the source material, it’s only through the encouragement (and the incentive of a kiss) from Chi-Chi that Goku is able to pull off the Kamehameha for the first time here. Fully aware that Goku won’t be ready to face Piccolo in time, Roshi turns to Sifu Norris (Ernie Hudson) to prepare the Mafuba once more, fully prepared to sacrifice himself to save the world from destruction.
It’s pretty sad to see one of Goku’s fiercest rivals and foes reduced to a one-dimensional villain.
Another commendable aspect of Dragonball Evolution has to be James Marsters as Lord Piccolo; released from his confinement offscreen by Mai, Piccolo is a grim and ruthless individual who has no compunction about raising entire villages to smouldering ruins in his search for the Dragon Balls. Regal and menacing in his posture, Piccolo is a villain of few words and even few wasted movements; he sees all life as beneath him and wants nothing more than to enact a merciless revenge upon the world that imprisoned him for so long, and personally crushes Goku’s home using his immense power, killing Gohan in the process and thus making their antagonism very personal. Piccolo is a fearsome opponent; not only can he lay waste to entire areas and dry up bodies of water in a single blast, but his blood can also spawn monstrous minions to cause minor inconveniences to the protagonists. Indeed, Piccolo spends the majority of his time just posturing and floating around seemingly in no hurry to find the seven Dragon Balls despite literally being on a deadline. Although he’s not afraid to get his hands dirty in the search, he continuously leaves Mai to screw around impersonating Chi-Chi to steal the heroes’ Dragon Balls rather than simply take them by force like he did the others and wastes his time delivering villainous monologues rather than just bringing forth the dragon when he has the chance. He literally jumps at the chance to lord himself over Goku, especially after he’s transformed into Ōzaru, and prioritises fighting with the boy rather than locating the scattered Dragon Balls. Ultimately, Piccolo lacks any of the menace or subtle nuance of either his father or his more well-known son/reincarnation; he’s ridiculously one-dimensional, being “bad” for the sake of it, and is defeated with depressing ease when all’s said and done. While Marsters may have hoped to return and do the character justice in future sequels, and Piccolo is shown to have survived, it’s difficult to envision this version of the character ever being more than a one-note kids’ villain in a regrettably poor adaptation.
The Nitty-Gritty: Although Dragonball Evolution appears to take place in our world, or at least the near future, it’s actually surprisingly faithful to the source material in a lot of ways. Sure, there’s no anthropomorphic characters and a lot of the more fantastical elements are excised or subdued, but there’s a decent attempt to including such concepts as the Capsule Corporation’s wearable technology, Piccolo travels the world in a futuristic and elaborate airship, and Bulma not only carries her trusty Dragon Radar but also rides a bike not a million miles away from her manga counterpart. Characterisations are far more on point than some people give credit for, too; sure, this “teen” version of Goku has a bit more in common with his teenaged son, who also struggled a bit to fit in at high school, but Goku has the same voracious appetite and aptitude for martial arts in the source material and is just as wide-eyed and naïve in a lot of ways (although here that’s reconfigured as a shy awkwardness around Chi-Chi rather than a general naivety towards life outside of his sheltered upbringing. Bulma is pretty on point as well; she’s as stubborn and forthright as in the source material, but also far more independent and capable. She’s searching for the Dragon Balls to use them as an unlimited energy source for the world rather than to wish for a boyfriend, is nowhere near as objectified or insufferable, and actually proves to be a valuable asset to the quest.
Despite some half-hearted attempts, the film fails to capture the fun and action of the source material.
There are a few other notable allusions to the source material as well: Goku can sense ki, which alerts him to his grandfather’s death; he also takes up Gohan’s bō staff (a far more grounded interpretation of the extendable Power Pole Goku wielded as a child in the source material), and eventually dons a keikogi that’s admirably faithful to his traditional attire. While Master Roshi doesn’t live on a small island in the middle of nowhere, his house is on an isolated “island” of sorts in Paozu City and he’s just as excitable and inappropriate as his admittedly more iconic counterpart. While Piccolo is freely identified as a Namek rather than a demonic entity as was originally implied in his first appearances, there’s a definite sense of otherworldliness to him that hints at threats from beyond the stars; however, one of the most interesting alterations to the established Dragon Ball lore is the depiction of the Great Ape, Ōzaru. Here, Goku is able to look at a full moon without fear (potentially because of his lack of a Saiyan tail), but the impending solar eclipse triggers his transformation into a much smaller version of the iconic monster, one far closer to the Wolfman than King Kong. While the film presents Ōzaru as being a destructive monster sent to destroy the world, it also positions the creature as another of Piccolo’s henchmen in a bit of a bizarre and confusing alteration; the film’s rushed and ugly finale attempts to present a version of the usual story surrounding the Great Ape (that the Saiyan loses control of their senses and must be subdued or calmed down to stop their rampage) by indicating that Goku’s memories of his grandfather and friends allows him to master Ōzaru’s power, and thus gain mastery of his ki, but it’s a bit of a messy execution and I honestly think the film (and the effects budget) would have been better off just omitting Ōzaru entirely.
Despite some fun references to the source material, the film’s fights and CGI really let it down.
These references are tenuous at best, however, and amount to little more than Easter Eggs; Dragonball Evolution thus ends up being an adaptation that tries far too hard todumb down or omit the more fantastical elements of its source material and simply drop in a few sly winks and nods for the knowing audience. This probably wouldn’t be so bad if the film made up for it with some thrilling and visually interesting fight sequences but, sadly, there’s a disappointing lack of actual martial arts in the film. The opening sparring match between Goku and Gohan, while fun, is hardly what you’d call ground-breaking fight choreography; Dragonball Evolution takes its cue very much from films like Bulletproof Monk (Hunter, 2003) for the depiction of its martial arts, emphasising unnatural camera angles, quick cuts, and a light-hearted bending of the laws of physics. There’s a very “floaty” feeling to all the moves that means characters bend and twist and flip in ways that go against everything you’d expect in the natural world and, while this is a sour point for fans of more traditional or visually interesting martial arts films, it does fit rather well with Dragon Ball’s whimsical and over the top nature. The franchise has never really been one for realism; characters routinely float, fly, teleport, and perform superhuman feats that have no basis in reality, and Dragonball Evolution is clearly made for a younger audience who aren’t expecting long, continuous, brutal sequences like those of Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior (Pinkaew, 2003), so I don’t begrudge the film for utilising such a farfetched visual direction for its fight scenes. Still, having said that, the film really falls off a cliff around hallway through when the characters inexplicably tunnel through the dirt in the arid wastelands and find themselves at a raging volcano! While I applaud the use of practical effects to render Piccolo’s rock-like henchmen, they’re dispatched with ridiculous ease and the editing is almost as bad as the green screen.
Embarrassingly bad special effects bring this laughable effort to a merciful end.
Things only get uglier and when the film reaches what is supposed to be a dramatic conclusion and instead becomes a disappointingly underwhelming light show where the actors are clearly flailing around on a green screen and throwing poorly rendered blasts of light at each other. It gets even worse when Goku transforms into Ōzaru; thanks to fan backlash regarding the creature’s initial design, which seemed far more practical despite looking nothing like an ape, Ōzaru is rendered as a monstrously ugly CGI creature that stands out like a sore thumb even amidst the shoddy computer-generated landscape. To the film’s credit, it at least attempts to recreate the kinetic battles from the anime, some of the camera shots even evoke those from the source material and Piccolo and Goku certain throw their fair share of energy blasts at each other, but by this point it all just looks like a bad videogame. It’s amazing to me how, in a post-Matrix (Wachowski Brothers, 1999) world, Dragonball Evolution fails to even remotely capture the tangible thrill of two hated rivals exchanging blows in mid-air and crashing through rocks. Obviously, The Matrix Revolutions (ibid, 2003) had a much higher budget than this dreck of a film but it also came out six years previously and you’d think that even a throwaway kids’ movie like this would be able to learn something from its approach. While I appreciate the attempt to try and recreate Lord Piccolo’s death from the source material, the scene of Goku channelling the Kamehameha and Ōzaru’s energy into himself to launch his final attack at his foe is laughably awful and looks more like a bad fan film than a big-budget release. Even more incredible is that Goku wastes his one wish on resurrecting Roshi (why not wish for all lives lost at Piccolo’s hands to be restored, thus returning Gohan and all those senseless killed by Piccolo to life?) and that the film ends with sequel bait!
The Summary: I was actually quite sympathetic towards Dragonball Evolution when I first saw it at the cinema. I enjoyed Bulletproof Monk for what it was and the similarities between the two films, and the references to the source material, were enough for me to consider it a decent enough kids’ movie that tries its best to capture some of the spirit of Dragon Ball. But, over time, those positives have dulled and this has become nothing less than a painful chore to sit through. It’s pretty amazing how awful this film is when you consider that Casshern (Kiriya, 2004) released about five years before this and did a far better job of crafting a live-action anime on a far smaller budget. It’s not as if Dragonball Evolution is elevated by the quality of its cast; Emmy Rossum and Joon Park aside, the film is full of inconsistent, lacklustre, and over the top performances that only serve to give it a mixed tone. If it had fully committed to being an action/comedy or a fantastical martial arts tale, maybe it would have landed better but it’s just all over the place and it’s difficult to really care about the stakes as a result. Dragon Ball often has its whimsical and comedic elements but, when the battle for the world starts, things usually always get pretty serious but, here, they just become an unimpressive and ugly CGI light show that makes everyone look like a complete fool as they scream against a green screen and are awkwardly jerked around in the air in a poor attempt at recreating the intensity of the anime. I definitely feel like there’s potential for a live-action Dragon Ball, but this reeks of corporate mandates and just comes across as a cheap cash grab that tries to pay homage to the source material but ultimately fails to appeal to fans of the franchise by dumbing everything down to the point of insult.
My Rating:
⭐
Rating: 1 out of 5.
Terrible
What did you think to Dragonball Evolution? Were you a fan of Justin Chatwin’s portrayal of Goku? Which of the characters was your favourite? What did you think to the changes made to the source material? Were you also put off by the muddled tone and poor special effects? Would you like to see another live-action Dragon Ball some time? How are you celebrating Dragon Ball day today? Whatever your thoughts on Dragonball Evolution, or Dragon Ball in general, sign up to leave them below or feel free to leave a comment on my social media.
While May 4th is known the world over as Star Wars Day, many also choose to extend the celebrations of the course of three days, with one of them being the “Evil Star Wars Day” of May 6th (as in “Sith”). This year, I’ve been using the three Star Wars Days as the perfect excuse to go plug a few holes in my Star Wars reviews.
Released: 18 December 2015 Director: J. J. Abrams Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment Budget: $259 to 306 million Stars: Daisy Ridley, John Boyega, Adam Driver, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford
The Plot: Thirty years after the Galactic Empire was defeated, the “First Order” constructs a devastating, planet-sized superweapon to decimate the New Republic. The galaxy’s only hope is Rey (Ridley), reformed First Order Stormtrooper Finn (Boyega), and crack Resistance pilot Poe Dameron (Isaac), who search for a long-lost map to reclusive and disgraced Jedi Master Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) while being hounded by the First Order’s malevolent and brutal enforcer, Kylo Ren (Driver).
The Background: It’s safe to say that the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy struggled to live up to the lofty expectations set by George Lucas’ original three Star Wars films; although relatively profitable ventures, the films were divisive, to say the least, and lead to one of the most beloved spin-offs in the franchise, Lucas was so burned by the experiences and backlash that he refused to make any further films. In 2012, Lucas sold his lucrative franchise to Disney for $4 billion and they immediately set about developing a series of spin-off feature films to further flesh out the Star Wars saga, spearheaded by a long-awaited seventh entry in the space opera saga. Although he consulted with Lucasfilm’s new president, Kathleen Kennedy, on story ideas for their new trilogy, he was hurt when they discarded his input and proceeded without him, bringing in J. J. Abrams to direct, contribute to the script, and help lay plans for the trilogy. In addition to bringing back as many names from the Original Trilogy as possible, Abrams brought in fresh, young, up-and-coming faces to be part of his new film, which relied just as much on practical effects as it did CGI to evoke the spirit of the films that started it all. Naturally, anticipation was high after even the most basic of teaser trailers, and the film’s $2.068 billion worldwide box office made it the highest-grossing film of 2015. The film was also met with overwhelmingly positive reviews; critics praised the film as a return to form for the franchise, the balance between nostalgia and new content, and even heralded it as the best Star Wars film since the Original Trilogy. Others, including Lucas, found it somewhat derivative, but Disney ploughed onwards with their Star Wars plans, for better or worse, regardless, producing two additional sequels as well as new videogames and spin-off movies to turn a profit from their acquisition.
The Review: I’d like to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat: I’m a big Star Wars fan. Growing up, the franchise was something of an elusive enigma for me; my friends were huge fans, we all played the games and enjoyed the Expanded Universe novels, but actually watching the Original Trilogy was pretty difficult in the mid-nineties. Even when then the remastered versions were released, it wasn’t exactly cheap to buy or rent them, so expectations were pretty high for the Prequel Trilogy. Sadly, they largely killed off a lot of the excitement I had for the franchise; they screwed up or outright erased the Expanded Universe novels, replaced fun space adventure and action with wooden performances and dull subplots, and generally failed to meet the standards of the Original Trilogy. I was therefore glad when it seemed like we wouldn’t get any more Star Wars films, and extremely pessimistic when Disney announced the production of a new Sequel Trilogy. I found the first teaser trailer incredibly underwhelming as it showcased basically nothing except another desert planet and the return of fan favourites Han Solo (Ford) and Chewbacca (Peter Mayhew/Joonas /Ian Whyte), and I was more than a little annoyed that the new films wouldn’t be drawing inspiration from what I still consider to be the “real” Sequel Trilogy, Timothy Zane’s Thrawn books (1991 to 1993). However, the secrecy surrounding the film had me intrigued and I was excited at the prospect of seeing how the Star Wars universe had changed thirty years after the Rebellion defeated the evil Galactic Empire. Sadly, The Force Awakens gets off to a bad start right from the opening crawl: Luke’s disappeared and, without him, there’s apparently nobody to oppose the uprising of the First Order. Consequently, Princess Leia Organa (Fisher), now a General in the New Republic’s Resistance movement comprised of new allies and former Rebels, sends her best pilot, Poe, to meet her old ally, the hitherto-unknown Lor San Tekka (Max von Sydow in a completely throwaway role), to get information on Luke’s whereabouts to help turn the tide.
While the Jedi may have become myth, Poe is determined to oppose the First Order with the Resistance.
So, immediately, there’s a sense that everything that’s old is new again; I honestly thought this film would be a chance to see the roles reversed a bit and have the remnants of the Empire be reduced to a rag-tag group of ships and terrorists trying to strike back against the overwhelming benevolence of the New Republic but, instead, the Empire is essentially back in the First Order, which is somehow so powerful that it threatens the entire New Republic! Not only that, but Luke is gone, despite Mark Hamill being so prominent in all the promotional materials for the film, and his absence is another in a long list of misguided decisions by the filmmakers in this film and its sequels. One thing I found particularly aggravating was just how quickly everyone forgot important concepts like the Jedi and influential people like Luke Skywalker. Just like at the beginning of Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope(Lucas, 1977), the Jedi are all but extinct and they, and even Luke, have passed into myth because, apparently, thirty years is enough time for people to forget anything. However, I think a lot of people miss that it’s only been two yearssince Ben Solo sacked the Jedi Temple and drove Luke into exile. While I can understand someone like Rey, who lives a remote and isolated life, thinking Luke was only a myth, this seems to be the prevailing thought amongst many of the side characters and there’s a definite sense that Luke’s been missing for far longer than he actually has. One decision I do agree with, however, is the introduction of fresh, new blood to the franchise and I have absolutely no issue with having new protagonists take centre stage as it brings us such brilliant characters as Poe Dameron, a hot-shot Resistance pilot who is both completely loyal to the ideals of the New Republic but also somewhat reckless out in the field. Still, he’s not an idiot; when Kylo Ren slaughters Lor San Tekka and his villagers on Jakku, Poe is smart enough to leave the map he received from Lor with his trusty droid companion, BB-8 (Bill Hader and Ben Schwartz), but feisty enough to backtalk Kylo Ren (he even takes a shot at him in a failed attempt to save Lor’s life) even when he’s painfully left at the dark tyrant’s mercy. Poe’s reputation as the best fighter pilot in the Resistance proceeds him, and even Kylo Ren is impressed by Poe’s resilience; this, alongside his skills as a pilot and his defiance, is a defining trait of Poe’s but even he’s only able to escape from the First Order’s clutches thanks to morally conflicted Stormtrooper FN-2187. Excited at the prospect of a daring, action-packed escape (and at piloting a TIE Fighter), Poe jumps at the chance and quickly forms a bond with the desperate FN-2187, whom Poe nicknames “Finn”. Although Poe seemingly perishes in their escape attempt, he randomly turns out to be alive later in the film, leading to an emotional reunion on Takodana with his newfound friend, BB-8, and the coming together of our three new protagonists to assault Starkiller Base.
Though she’s lived a sheltered life, Rey is a gifted pilot, mechanic, and a potential Jedi!
With Poe presumed dead, BB-8 is stumbled upon by scavenger Rey who, at this point, has no idea of her true heritage and believes that she was simply abandoned when she was a child (Cailey Fleming). Rey lives a hard life on the arid sands of Jakku, one that sees her foraging derelicts for meagre portions of food and living a life of solitude in the remains of an All-Terrain Armoured Transport (AT-AT). However, although she longs to journey to the stars, very much like Luke in A New Hope, she’s compelled to stay in the hopes that her parents will return for her. Self-reliant and strong-willed, Rey is something of a savage; she’s naturally paranoid and suspicious of others since she’s clearly spent her whole life fighting for what little food and possessions she has but does have an affinity for droids, which eventually causes her to fall in with Finn when he comes looking for BB-8 to honour Poe’s final wish. This finally gives Rey the opportunity to leave Jakku and she does so in style by piloting the dilapidated Millennium Falcon, which just so happens to not only be on Jakku but also the only ship available to them. Even more conveniently, Rey is not just the jack-of-all-trades but, seemingly, the master of them all; she’s able to speak multiple languages (including “droid speak” and Wookie), can repair, fix, and build machinery, is a naturally gifted pilot, and is also strong in the Force! It’s therefore not surprising that many have labelled her a “Mary Sue” since Rey just seems to magically be able to do everything because the script demands it and is quickly befriended by faces old and new alike. However, I don’t really have that much of a problem with Rey; sure, Daisy Ridley is the weakest of the main three actors for me and I personally found Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) a far more compelling female lead in Disney’s new Star Wars films, but I enjoyed her wide-eyed hero worship of characters like Luke and Han, her feisty independent spirit, and her overall presentation as a lonely young woman trying to find her place in the galaxy and realising that she has far more potential than she ever realised.
While Finn isn’t the Jedi he seems to be, his moral compass is admirable and BB-8 adds to the charm.
BB-8 is more than just the newest cutesy mascot for the franchise, it’s a whole character in its own right; since R2-D2 (Jimmy Vee/Kenny Baker) is in standby mode for the majority of the film, and C-3PO (Anthony Daniels) is mainly just a glorified cameo who keeps banging on about his red arm (that’s never explained onscreen and disappears by the next film), BB-8 takes centre stage as the main robotic character of The Force Awakens. Despite only communicating in electronic bleeps, it’s absolutely exuding personality; you can tell that it greatly cares for Poe as a friend and is saddened when it thinks he’s died), and is both suspicious and amusingly supportive of Finn when they join forces with Rey. As fantastic as it is to see BB-8 realised as a largely practical effect (I still have no idea how they were able to pull off its rolling movement so seamlessly), it’s a bit odd that many characters understand its “droid speak”, which seems to be a lazy convenience by the writers. This is paralleled by perhaps the most intriguing of the three new protagonists, Finn. Those who have watched Star Wars’ many spin-off media may be familiar with Clone Troopers and Stromtroopers having individual identities and (probably) consciences, but this was the first time we’d seen a Stormtrooper be anything other than a nameless, faceless minion for the heroes to gun down in cold blood. Inducted into the First Order at an early age and forced into war, Finn is no mere pre-programmed clone or mindless soldier; he’s a frightened young man in over his head who is horrified at the merciless slaughter of innocents and the First Order’s oppressive ways. Finn is desperate to escape their wrath but frees Poe not just because he needs a pilot but because it’s the “right thing to do”. This edict guides Finn throughout the remainder of the film; moved by Poe’s apparent demise and trust, Finn takes up not only his newfound friend’s jacket but also his mission to return BB-8 and the map it contains to the Resistance. However, conscious that he will be unfairly judged if he openly admits that he’s a former First Order Stormtrooper, Finn desperately feigns being with the Resistance i to quickly earn Rey and BB-8’s trust, something he’s clearly unhappy about but his absolute terror of the First Order overrides his doubts. He’s seen first-hand what they’re capable of, and what they’re building, and is focused only on getting as far away from them as he can by any means necessary, but is morally unable to simply leave his newfound friends to wage a suicide war against Starkiller Base without his expertise.
Kylo Ren is a tortured, surprisingly complex, and explosive youth lashing out at everything he sees.
Another notable aspect of the film is new villain Kylo Ren; played with a magnificent imposing menace by the fantastic Adam Driver, Kylo Ren may look like a cheap knock off of Darth Vader (David Prowse/James Earl Jones) but that’s actually kind of the point and he’s much more than that. Considering that, beneath the imposing mask, he’s actually Ben Solo, Force-sensitive son of Leia and Han and grandson of Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen), it makes sense that he’d model himself after the infamous Sith Lord and the fact that he keeps the shattered remains of Vader’s helmet just goes to show just how twisted his perception of reality is. Kylo Ren makes an immediate impact not just with his emotionless helmet and deep, semi-cybernetic baritone that oozes menace, but also by exhibiting a command over the Dark Side that we haven’t really seen before as he freezes a blaster bolt in mid-air. Kylo Ren showcases a knack for forcibly drawing information from his victims using the Dark Side of the Force, penetrating their mind and feelings in order to both torture and manipulate them and learn what he needs, but he’s also an extremely explosive and unpredictable individual. Originally a Jedi prodigy, he was a student of Luke’s but found himself seemingly betrayed by his master, destroying the Jedi training grounds, and killing all but a few similarly inclined Jedi and recruiting them into his poorly defined “Knights of Ren”. Thanks to the influence of Supreme Leader Snoke (Andy Serkis), Ben is turned against his friends and family and assumes the role of “Kylo Ren” but remains a tortured and conflicted young man who lets his anger and insecurities get the best of him. Overwhelmed by these dark feelings, Kylo Ren regularly lashes out in volatile anger when he’s bested and is seemingly driven by an innate desire to destroy all remnants of his past, no matter how badly it pains him to do so.
Sadly, the film squanders many of the First Order’s more promising elements.
The First Order is largely comprised of obedient Stormtroopers and extremist military commanders, just like the Empire, but there are a few standouts amongst their ranks: first and foremost is General Hux (Gleeson), the young and cruel-hearted commander of the First Order’s military forces. A proud and stubborn man, Hux believes whole-heartedly in the training standards of his Stormtroopers and the might of his military (he’s particularly proud of his ludicrous planet-destroying Starkiller Base) and delivers rousing speeches of hatred and vitriol in a pretty explicit allusion of Adolf Hitler’s public addresses. General Hux and Kylo Ren have a tumultuous relationship, to say the least, in which they both vie for the attention, and approval, of Supreme Leader Snoke; this means they continually butt heads over the best methods to advance the First Order’s cause and have a professional rivalry that borders on antagonistic since they have little respect or liking for each other. However, all in all, The Force Awakens really squanders some of its new characters; Captain Phasma (Gwendoline Christie) looks visually impressive and intimidating with her striking reflective Stormtrooper armour and blunt commanding voice, but she does literally nothing except exist on the periphery and be easily coerced into helping the heroes infiltrate Starkiller Base. It’s not even more explicit whether she perishes in the planet’s destruction or not, and I have no idea why the filmmakers didn’t have it be her who confronts Finn on Takodana rather than a random Stormtrooper. Perhaps the most glaring and almost insulting inclusion in the film is the First Order’s malformed and malevolent figurehead, Supreme Leader Snoke; seeming to be a mutilated giant thanks to only appearing as an ominous hologram, this poorly-veiled stand-in for the far more enigmatic and memorable Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) irked me no end when I first saw the film and continues to vex me now not just for how poorly his story was cut off at the knees in the subsequent sequels but because he really wasn’t necessary to the films at all. For me, including another wizened, decrepit, malicious Sith Lord just took away from the agency and independence of Kylo Ren’s character. Once again, it was a case of the same old thing as a promising Jedi recruit fell under the sway of a dark influencer and pledged his fealty to this supposedly all-powerful Dark Sider and I just feel like characters like General Hux and Kylo Ren would’ve been stronger without this puppet master looming over them and allowed them, and Captain Phasma, to take the spotlight as the three main figureheads of the First Order.
The film’s new characters are joined by all the familiar faces, now older but larger in their same roles.
After escaping Jakku, Rey and Finn conveniently run across old favourites Han Solo and Chewbacca; having lost the Millennium Falcon some years prior and returned to his smuggling ways, Han walked away from the Republic after Ben’s turn to the Dark Side, with Chewie in tow due to his unending loyalty. Where he was once a sceptical, self-serving smuggler, Han is now a jaded veteran who has seen more than his fair share of conflict and knows the extent of the Force only too well. Both he and Chewie take an instant like to Rey over their mutual appreciation of the Falcon’s capabilities and their piloting and mechanical skills, but Han is initially more concerned with retaking his ship than joining the battle against the First Order. He’s swayed to aid them, however, after seeing the partial map BB-8 possesses; he grimly relates a version of Luke’s self-imposed exile, omitting key information like his relationship to Kylo Ren (which is just dropped in our laps with little fuss of fanfare by Snoke), and leads them to Maz Kanata (Lupita Nyong’o). This centuries-old sage very much fills the role of a Yoda (Frank Oz) archetype: she’s perceptive and wise, well versed in the nature of the Force, and even inexplicably has Anakin’s lightsaber, which Luke lost during his time in Cloud City. Han’s time on Takodana also reunites him with Leia after the Resistance fend off the First Orde’s attack; while Han is just as cynical as ever thanks to having lost his only son to the Dark Side, Leia remains the strong-willed beacon of hope that she always was. She commands respect from her Resistance fighters, who follow her lead without question and with unfaltering loyalty, and she also quickly forms an affectionate relationship with Rey. Her reunion with Han is one of both regret and joy; Han expresses remorse for all the wasted years he spent away from her, and (just as Luke did with Vader) she still maintains the hope that there’s good in Ben. Han promises to try and reach him, which ultimately proves to be his downfall; in an emotional confrontation, Han pleads with Ben to give up his crusade and ends up run through by Kylo Ren’s lightsaber in the troubled youth’s frantic desire to cut off all emotional attachments to his past. However, in his last moments, Han shows nothing but affection for his misguided son and, though it costs him his life, his sacrifice wouldn’t be in vain and would pay an integral part in Ben’s eventual (if questionable) redemption.
The Nitty-Gritty: Despite my dislike for many of the decisions made in this film and the sequels, I do have to praise the script; character dialogue is especially entertaining, with the rapport between Poe and Finn being a notable highlight. It’s not just lines like Poe’s “who talks first?” line and Finn’s “I am with the Resistance” exchange with Rey that stand out either; BB-8’s hesitation at trusting Finn and then giving him a “thumbs up” is not only a sweet moment that influences the droid with more personality than I ever could’ve imagined but also extremely amusing, and little touches like Stormtroopers slowly backing away when Kylo Ren is losing his shit and cameos by the likes of Daniel Craig really help to elevate the script and even the most insignificant characters far beyond the stilted delivery churned out in the Prequel trilogy. Indeed, the performances are commendable across the board; the wit and banter exhibited is natural and amusing, Kylo Ren’s menace is threatening and imposing, General Hux is suitably over the top, and even Harrison Ford seems to be enjoying himself. Not only that but the film is peppered with little moments that help to I remember coming out of the film the first time I saw it and being won over by the character interactions alone; The Force Awakens was a breath of fresh air after the often wooden and awkward line delivery of the Prequel Trilogy, though don’t let this fool you into thinking that the actual plot is anything other than a shameless rehash of the best and most memorable aspects of the Original Trilogy.
The film does a fantastic job of recreating the look and feel of the Original Trilogy.
Another massive positive of The Force Awakens is its visual presentation. The abundance of practical effects is greatly appreciated; the First Order Stormtroopers actually wear suits, there’s physical ships, sets, and locations for characters to get into and interact with, and even BB-8 is a wholly practical effect. While there’s obviously a great deal of green screen and CGI involved in the film, it’s nowhere near as noticeably as in the Prequel Trilogy, which makes everything much more enjoyable to watch as it feels like things are actually happening rather than being created. Even now, despite my many issues with the film and its sequels, I can’t fault the special effects; it’s pretty bloody cool to see Rey scavenging a crashed Star Destroyer and to see it buried deep in the sand, the Millennium Falcon’s exhilarating escape from Jakku is as thrilling as any of the other space battles in the film, and there’s clearly been a great deal of love and care put into recreated the “lived-in”, practical feel of the Original Trilogy to juxtapose the limited resources of the Resistance and backwater worlds like Jakku with the technological might of the First Order. When CGI is used, it’s presented far less like some PlayStation 3-era videogame and in a way that allows ships and creatures to seamlessly appear part of their environment thanks, largely, to existing alongside traditional practical make-up effects and animatronics. This makes everything feel much more “real” and believable as characters are actually, physically in a space and at the controls of their crafts, which makes the many space skirmishes and action sequences all the more exciting. Perhaps the only real downside is the baffling inclusion of the monstrous Rathtars aboard Han’s new smuggling vessel, an inclusion simply made to get Han and the others out of a bind that didn’t need to exist as calling Han’s issues with the gangs looking to collect on him really doesn’t go anywhere, but seeing all the classic Star Wars ships in action once again was an undeniable thrill made all the more commendable by them having imperfections and being presented faithfully to their original depictions abut augmented, rather than overwhelmed, by CGI.
Of all the derivative aspects from the Original Trilogy, Starkiller Base is the most glaring inclusion.
However, I remain aggravated by the many allusions to the Original Trilogy that are peppered throughout the film; I enjoy nostalgia as much as the next person but The Force Awakens pulls so much from the first three films that it’s easy to see why so many found it derivative. Rey is a lonely girl living on a desert planet who dreams of the stars (just like Luke), there’s a mystery around Luke and the Jedi that’s almost exactly like Luke experiences at the start of his journey, and the First Order is just the Empire in new clothing as they pilot the same ships and are a malevolent and overwhelming force for the heroes to fight against. It doesn’t end there, though: Han’s confrontation with Kylo Ren is very reminiscent of Luke’s iconic run-in with Darth Vader in Cloud City, Poe hides a vital piece of information in a droid just like Leia did, Kylo Ren is introduced in a manner very similar to Darth Vader and even interrogates Rey much like Vader did to Leia, Maz’s castle very much evokes the same feeling of danger and debauchery as the Mos Eisley Cantina, and even the disgusting Unkar Plutt (Simon Pegg) isn’t a million miles away from Jabba the Hutt (Declan Mulholland/Scott Schumann). But perhaps the most glaring of all is Starkiller Base itself, a planet-sized weapon capable of destroying the New Republic’s core worlds in one shot, apparently regardless of where those planets are located in the galaxy. As ominous and dangerous a threat as the Death Stars were, those were merely the size of moons; Starkiller Base dwarfs them in comparison (because bigger is always better, right?) and is five times as dangerous with its ludicrously power and impractical main cannon. It makes you wonder how the First Order are able to aim their weapon; like, what if their targets are further away, or on the other side of the planet? And how in the absolute hell did the First Order find the time and resources to build such a preposterous weapon? It took the Empire thirty years to build the Death Star and, in less time, the First Order were apparently able to partially hollow out a planet, install all their machinery, and develop the technology to harness the power of a star all to destroy five worlds. Starkiller Base is not only far more impractical and far more immobile than the Death Stars, its power is also much more finite as surely it will eventually suck that star dry? And, to make matters worse, the First Order learned nothing from their predecessors and failed to account for glaring weaknesses in their doomsday weapon that allow a rag-tag fleet of Resistance fighters and ground troops to destroy it from the inside out (a victory that you would think would spell the end of the First Order but, somehow, they’re apparent stronger than ever in the sequel despite surely the vast majority of their forces being stationed on that world?)
For me, the film really wastes a lot of the potential to do something new with the franchise.
However, The Force Awakens’ problems go beyond just banking on nostalgia; I can understand that, but what I can’t understand (and still can’t understand) is just how off the mark so much of its narrative is. As great as the new characters are the as heart-warming as the call-backs and attention to detail is, the execution is just so bafflingly off in so many ways that just caused a ripple effect that messed up the subsequent sequels as well. This includes annoyances like Kylo Ren’s unmasking not being saved for his confrontation with Han rather than being wasted on Rey’s interrogation, not getting a sense of how the galaxy has changed since the New Republic was formed, not seeing Luke training new Jedi, Han and Leia being separated, Rey’s origins being left vague simply as a sequel hook, and not getting to see anything of the last thirty years of these character’s lives. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and it’s easy to say what they “should have” done, but I was restructuring this movie in my head within minutes after leaving the cinema. I would’ve had Leia and Han be together as supporting characters and highlighted their new struggles as politicians rather than freedom fighters so we could see them as new characters, rather than the same ones but older. I would have had Rey and Ben be cousins or siblings and Luke’s finest students and have Ben’s turn to the Dark Side be a gradual thing that peaked in the second movie. Or I would have removed Snoke completely and restructured the First Order so that Hux commands the military, Kylo Ren leads his acolytes as the “muscle” (maintaining their professional rivalry), and given more screen time to Captain Phasma as the front-line commander of the troops. I definitely would have had the First Order be a small, but aggressive, terrorist force that attacked key targets (and named them something a bit less obnoxious), and maybe had Kylo Ren seek out Luke’s scattered Jedi to kill or recruit them. I would have definitely made more of Finn being Force-sensitive and carry it through, possibly even at the cost of Rey’s Force ability, and absolutely would have changed the depiction of Starkiller Base! The focus of the film should have been on intercepting a vital component or power source for an unrevealed First Order weapon; we should see only the interior and glimpses of their hidden base and recruitment centre until the finale and Starkiller Base should have been saved for the third film as the ultimate threat. The Resistance could have then destroyed a factory or facility the First Order had overtaken, not built, on a moon for a similar finale. I’m okay with Han dying but I do think it should’ve been saved for the next film so we could get more screen time with Ben and Rey and just a better sense of why we should care that this random new character turned bad beyond him being Han Solo’s kid.
Han’s sacrifice pushes Rey to find her true self, and allows the Resistance to pinpoint Luke’s location.
To be fair, though, Han’s death causes anguish not just for Leia and Chewie, but also for Rey, who had very quickly come to see him as not just an icon but a father figure of sorts. This only exacerbates her hatred and vendetta against Kylo Ren, who intimidated her, tortured her, threatened her newfound friends, and embodies all of the wanton destruction and evil of the First Order. Thanks to Han’s sacrifice, the shield generator around Starkiller Base is lowered, allow Poe to strike the thermal oscillator and set off a chain reaction that tears the planet apart; despite this, and being injured, Kylo Ren purses Finn and Rey into the nearby woods and a final confrontation goes down. Unfortunately for Finn, he’s not the potential Jedi the film leads us to believe he is and he suffers a seemingly devastating injury at Kylo’s hands; Kylo is then stunned when his attempts to reclaim his grandfather’s lightsaber are met with failure and the blade instead finds itself into Rey’s hands. Incredibly, despite having absolutely no training with the weapon and the unpredictable nature of her Force powers, Rey is able to more than hold her own against Kylo Ren, who is fascinated by her and the potential she has and attempts to sway her towards the Dark Sides. However, Rey is so incensed at Kylo’s actions that she angrily rebukes his offer and attacks with everything she has; Kylo’s fighting style is far more refined and deliberate and much different to other Force users we’ve seen so far. His lightsaber is styled after a traditional medieval sword and literally splitting with energy, but his movements are heavy-handed and fuelled by strength and rage, something he only exacerbates by repeatedly beating his chest and worsening the pain from his injury to increase his pain and anger. Ultimately, their duel is interrupted by the destruction of Starkiller Base but, while Kylo lives to fight another day, he’s left with an absolutely brutal scar across his face and the Resistance is finally able to complete the map and pinpoint Luke’s location. The ending then becomes this really rushed finale as Artoo is reactivated and Rey takes Hans place aboard the Millennium Falcon to confront Luke on the remote world of Ahch-Toh, where the film ends with an awkward stare down between the two. Personally, considering that Luke really wasn’t in the film at all, I think it would’ve been better to end the movie with the Resistance completing the map and save Rey’s trip to Ahch-To for the sequel as it really fell flat for me, despite how cool it was to see Luke as a wizened hermit.
The Summary: I find myself conflicted over Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens. On the one hand, it’s a brilliant love letter to the Original Trilogy, dusting off all the familiar ships and characters and tropes that made George Lucas’ films so iconic. The use of practical effects is incredibly appealing, and the use of physical sets, props, and locations really helps to capture the same feeling evoked in those first films, before Lucas went all crazy with the CGI. The new characters are great as well; they all exude a great deal of chemistry and charisma and have a great rapport with each other. The friendship between Finn and Poe, and Finn and Rey, was far better and more believable than any relationship seen in the Prequel Trilogy and Kylo Ren made for a surprisingly complex villain who did in one movie what three films struggled to do with Anakin Skywalker. Equally, I have few faults with the dialogue and characterisations; even one-dimensional villains and periphery characters show some personality either through some snappy line delivery or a striking visual look, and BB-8 was a fantastic little droid to add to the Star Wars ensemble who managed to stand out as unique amongst its peers. However, on the other hand, there’s the sheer banality of the whole thing; at its core, it’s just A New Hope again, with elements of the other two films tossed in and weaved into the narrative simply to cash-in on nostalgia and familiarity. There’s no real sense of progression here; yes, we have fresh new faces, but the galaxy seems to be exactly the same as we last left it except that the characters we grew up idolising have gotten older, wearier, and largely walked away from their responsibilities. We’re told a few things about what happened in the interim, but I know that I, personally, would much rather have seen it or at least seen some indication of it rather than just falling back on a safe status quo but with a new coat of paint. I think that sums up my feelings on The Force Awakens quite well: it’s too safe. There’s no real attempt to try anything new, just rehashing what we’ve seen before and underdelivering on potential new storylines as a result, and it’s especially disappointing given how experimental and different Disney’s Star Wars projects would eventually become after their Sequel Trilogy failed to live up to expectations. It’s probably still the best of the Sequel Trilogy for me, but that’s really not saying much, and The Force Awakens continues to just be a huge missed opportunity to try something new that spiralled into a nosedive with the next two sequels.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Are you a fan of Star Wars: Episode VII: The Force Awakens? Did you find it to be a decent start to the Sequel Trilogy and how would you rank it against other films in the Star Wars saga? Which of the three new protagonists was your favourite? Did you enjoy seeing a Stormtrooper have a crisis of conscience? What did you think to Rey and did you find her a little too perfect as a character? Were you a fan of Kylo Ren? What are your thoughts on the use of nostalgia and did you like the narrative presented in the film? Were you shocked by Han’s death and annoyed that Luke was basically a glorified cameo? I’d love to see your thoughts on The Force Awakens in the replies below or on my social media, so feel free to share your opinions, good or bad, and thanks for joining me for three more days of Star Wars!
Although May 4th is known the world over as Star Wars Day, many also choose to celebrate the popular, generation-spanning science-fiction saga on May 5th as a play on the word “Sith”. This can extend Star Wars Day into three day celebration of the influential science-fiction series and, as a result, is another great excuse for Star Wars fans to celebrate the beloved franchise in a variety of ways.
Released: 10 December 2016 Director: Gareth Edwards Distributor: Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures Budget: $200 to 265 million Stars: Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Ben Mendelsohn, Donnie Yen, Mads Mikkelsen, Alan Tudyk, Riz Ahmed, Jiang Wen, and Forest Whitaker
The Plot: When construction of the Galactic Empire’s planet-killing superweapon stalls, Director Orson Krennic (Mendelsohn) coerces scientist Galen Erso (Mikkelsen) to complete the space station. Years later, Galen’s daughter, Jyn (Jones), is reluctantly recruited by the Rebel Alliance to retrieve a holographic message from her father that may hold the key to destroying the “Death Star” ahead of schedule.
The Background: In 1977, George Lucas brought the world Star Wars for the very first time with the release of Episode IV: A New Hope. Essentially a “space opera” in the style of pulp science-fiction serials like Flash Gordon (Stephani, 1936), Star Wars went through many drafts before becoming the influential sci-fi masterpiece we know and love today. Almost immediately, Star Wars became a phenomenon that inspired not just one generation but, thanks to multiple sequels and lucrative merchandising, numerous generations for years to come. In 2012, Lucas sold his lucrative franchise to Disney for a cool $4 billion who immediately began developing not just a whole new trilogy of movies but also a series of spin-off feature films to further flesh out the Star Wars saga. Envisioned a more of a grounded war film compared to the grandiose space adventure of the other Star Wars movies, Rogue One had an interesting development as numerous reshoots fundamentally altered several presumed aspects of the story. Upon release, the film went on to gross over $1 billion at the box office and became the second-highest-grossing film of the year; yet, despite receiving generally positive reviews, I often see a lot of people talking down about this film. For my money, it’s better than the entire SequelTrilogy combined and probably my second-favourite Star Wars movie after Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back(Kershner, 1980).
The Review: Rogue One was quite the experimental project at the time; foregoing many of the recognisable elements and tropes of the Star Wars saga (including the traditional opening crawl), the film filled the gap between Episode III: Revenge of the Sith(Lucas, 2005) and A New Hope by telling the events that led to the Rebel Alliance acquiring the Death Star plans that kicked the entire saga in motion. The linchpin of this is Galan Erso, an Imperial scientist who, disillusioned with his work being used to subjugate and destroy others, walks away from the Empire in order to raise his daughter, Jyn, and live out his days as a simple farmer. However, when Orson Krennic arrives and murders Galan’s wife (Valene Kane) in front of him, Galan is forced to return to work in order to keep Jyn safe from Imperial reprisals. He spends the next fifteen years paying the role of dutiful, down-trodden subordinate to bring the Death Star to completion all while secretly including a well-hidden weakness into the space station and conspiring to deliver this information to the Rebel Alliance.
Jyn is inspired by Saw to take an active role in the fight against the Empire.
Galan isn’t in the film much but he’s an interestingly complex character thanks, largely, to the range and ability of Mads Mikkelsen, who commands the screen every time he appears on camera. Though the Rebel Alliance believes Galan to be a traitor and orders his assassination under the pretence of extraction, Jyn remains steadfast in her belief in her father’s morals, even more so when she views the holographic recording he made professing his true intentions and subterfuge. Jyn herself is a serviceable enough character; given when Rogue One was released, one cannot help but compare her to fellow Star Wars protagonist Rey (Daisy Ridley) and, arguably, Jyn is the stronger and more interesting character as she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder, she isn’t immediately the best at everything she does, and she is largely more interested in her own survival rather than getting swept up in the rebellion against the Empire. Her outlook changes after reuniting with her surrogate father, Saw Gerrera (Whitaker), and viewing her father’s message; after seeing the lengths her father went to to deceive the Empire and keep her safe, she does an almost immediate about-turn and is all for fighting for hope, however small, rather than emotional, misdirected rebellion. A competent and independent female character, Jones is believable enough at portraying an “Everywoman” character but is, perhaps, a little lacking in her delivery of certain lines and feeling like a truly organic piece of this universe. Compare her to Cassian Andor (Luna), for example; little more than a war-weary assassin of sorts, Andor is a bitter and pragmatic individual who may not like having to get his hands dirty for the Rebellion but is willing to do so since he is 100% committed to their cause.
As great as Krennic is, I think it would’ve been better to just cast Mendelsohn as Tarkin instead.
There are many layers to Andor’s character as he executes a friend and fellow Rebel (Daniel Mays) without hesitation rather than risk them getting caught and is more than willing to do the same to Galan until Jyn’s passionate plea causes him to question himself. Eager to atone for the blood he has shed in the name of the Rebellion, Cassian willing volunteers himself for what amounts to little more than a suicide mission against the Imperial garrison where the Death Star plans are being held and switches his allegiance just as fully to Jyn’s rogue team of Rebels. The Rebels are directly opposed by Orson Krennic, played with delicious relish by Ben Mendelsohn, who makes an immediate impact with his beautiful, clean white Imperial garb and Mendelsohn’s superb ability to steal every scene his in, chewing scenery at every opportunity to portray Krennic as a sadistic, ambitious, and self-serving scumbag. Krennic’s pride and joy is the Death Star, which was the product of his own design and direction, and he is driven to near desperation to ensure that the space station remains under his control and that credit is given to him and him alone for its unmatched power. This brings Krennic into direct opposition with Grand Moff Tarkin (Guy Henry/Peter Cushing), who openly talks down to Krennic and then immediately takes full credit for the Death Star after witnessing a mere fraction of its power. The digital effects used to bring Cushing back to life through Tarkin are impressive, if unavoidably noticeable; I can’t help but think it might have been better to either feature the character sparingly, in shadow or as a distorted hologram, or simply cast Mendelsohn in the role. The effect works but some scenes are better than others and it gets more than a little disturbing and perturbing when the character continues to crop back up again and again.
The Rogue One crew make the most of their few opportunities to shine.
While Krennic is sent into a desperate frenzy to tie up all the loose ends that might keep him from receiving his full recognition, his efforts are continually disrupted by the remainder of Jyn’s little band of misfits: while meeting with Saw in the remains of a Jedi Temple on Jedha, Jyn and Cassian successfully rescue Bodhi Rook (Ahmed), the pilot who carried Galan’s message, and hook up with the blind quasi-Jedi Chirrut Îmw (Yen) and his friend and bodyguard, of sorts, Baze Malbus (Wen). These three characters have more personality and are more likeable than the majority of the emotionally-stunted cast of the Prequel Trilogy; Bodhi is a quirky, almost neurotic pilot who acts largely as the film’s comic relief (something its bleak tone really needs at times), Chirrut is a shadow of the Jedi’s former power but no less bad-ass for it, and Baze is a hulking and devoted protector who wields a kick-ass chaingun-like laser rifle. As great as these characters are at stealing little moments and injecting personality into their roles to make the most of their screen time, they (and almost every other character) are completely overshadowed by K-2SO (Tudyk), a reprogrammed Imperial enforcer droid who acts as Cassian’s co-pilot and partner. K-2SO is a snarky, blunt, hilarious character who isn’t shy about sharing his feelings with others; I imagine that K-2SO is probably what R2-D2 (Kenny Baker/Jimmy Vee/Ben Burtt) would sound like if he could talk, just this rude, smart-mouthed droid who begrudgingly helps his allies out but always seems like he’s been put out by it. It’s truly a film-stealing inclusion and something I didn’t expect heading into Rogue One given that droids in the Star Wars saga were generally quite polite or (dare I say it…?) robotic until K-2SO.
The Nitty-Gritty: I mentioned earlier that Rogue One’s tone is bleak and don’t misunderstand me: It is a bleak film but that’s not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a good thing; it recalls the same against-the-odds atmosphere of The Empire Strikes Back and is in stark contrast to the usual adventurous and peppy feel of the saga. It’s a testament that I find the film’s bleak ending to be so affecting considering that there really wasn’t any need to kill off all of he film’s protagonists; just because we don’t see them in other Star Wars films doesn’t mean they couldn’t have survived and, arguably, given that Cassian eventually got his own Disney+ spin-off prequel series, they probably should have so that further media could have been produced to continue their story behind (and between) the scenes of the main Star Wars saga.
The Rogue One crew lead a desperate, suicidal assault to retrieve the Death Star plans.
Still, it hammers home the overwhelming odds that the Rebellion faces against the Empire and their new Death Star and really helps to further flesh out just how stacked the deck is against the Empire in the other films. When Jyn and the others break away from the Rebellion to find the plans, they know that it’s most likely going to be a suicide mission but are nevertheless committed to seeing it through even in the face of incredible odds. It seems, for a brief moment, that they may actually have a fighting chance as not only does the Rebel Alliance arrive for some much-needed backup but they have the advantage of surprise and even manage to successfully broadcast the plans to the Rebels despite Krennic’s best efforts. Still, it’s all for naught; having assumed command of the Death Star while Krennic was out chasing his tail, Tarkin doesn’t hesitate to use a small fraction of its power to decimate the Imperial garrison as the first official demonstration of the Death Star, thereby erasing Krennic’s legacy and replacing it with his own. In that white-hot flash of fire and destruction, however, the spark of hope survives thanks to the sacrifices of Jyn, Cassian, and their friends as the Death Star plans are successfully intercepted by Princess Leia Organa (Ingvild Deila/Carrie Fisher), effectively ending the film right where A New Hope begins.
Darth Vader steals the show in his brief, but brutal, appearance at the finale.
Of course, things aren’t as simple as all that; not only do the Rebels have to contend with the Imperial ground troops, walkers, and TIE Fighters, countless Rebel soldiers are cut down by the vicious swings of Darth Vader’s (Spencer Wilding/Daniel Naprous/James Earl Jones) lightsaber. Despite Jones’s voice obviously sounding noticeably aged and gravelly, Vader’s inclusion is one of the film’s biggest highlights; not only does he come across as a subtly intimidating presence when Krennic meets with him on Mustafa, the end scene where he cuts down Rebels without any mercy, quarter, or compromise is, perhaps, the most ferocious and brutal we have ever seen the character onscreen. It’s as though his uncharacteristically subdued portrayal in A New Hope was hiding this caged animal just waiting to be unleashed and it really helps add to the tension and desperation of the film’s final scenes.
The Summary: Despite the praise Rogue One received upon release, I feel as though the film is unfairly overlooked and forgotten about in favour of near-endless debates about the Prequel and Sequel Trilogies. People generally talk about Vader’s dramatic and merciless slaughter and the digital recreations of classic Star Wars actors while failing to acknowledge all of the other strengths the film has. With is bleak and gritty tone and aesthetic, Rogue One really helps to sell you on the desperation and futility of the Rebel Alliance’s efforts against the all-powerful Empire. They are outnumbered and outgunned at every turn, fighting and scratching and clawing for any advantage and this often means performing less-than-noble tasks in service of gaining just a slither of ground against the Empire. Uncompromising and original in its execution, tone, and direction, Rogue One deserves to be talked about with the same level of reverence as The Empire Strikes Back for helping to flesh out a previously-unknown story in the Star Wars saga and adamantly hammering home its message of the harsh realities of war.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
What are your thoughts on Rogue One? Did you enjoy it for its more bleak direction or did it, perhaps, fail to live up to your expectations for a Star Wars film? Do you think that some or all of the film’s characters should have lived or do you agree that it makes a far lasting impression to see them all die to facilitate the Star Wars saga? What did you think of Darth Vader’s inclusion and the digital resurrection of classic Star Wars actors? How are you celebrating May the Fourth this year? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below and go read my other Star Wars reviews!
May 4th is known the world over as Star Wars Day thanks to it acting as perhaps one of the most fitting and amusing puns ever devised (“May the Fourth be with you” in place of the traditional “May the Force be with you”). The first and most popular of what can easily become a three day celebration of the influential science-fiction series, the day stands as the perfect excuse for Star Wars fans to celebrate the beloved franchise in a variety of ways.
Released: 15 August 2008 Director: Dave Filoni Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $8.5 million Stars: Matt Lanter, Ashley Eckstein, James Arnold Taylor, Tom Kane, Dee Bradley Baker, Nika Futterman, David Acord, and Christopher Lee
The Plot: Count Dooku (Lee) orchestrates a plan to turn notorious crime lord Jabba the Hutt (Kevin Michael Richardson) against the Galactic Republic by framing the Jedi for the kidnapping of his son, Rotta the Huttlet (Acord). While Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi (Taylor) battles the Separatist army, Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker (Lanter) is lumbered with an overly enthusiastic apprentice, Ahsoka Tano (Eckstein), in his attempts to deliver Rotta back to his father and expose Dooku’s plot.
The Background: In 1977, George Lucas introduced the world to his “space opera” Star Wars saga and, almost immediately, birthed a phenomenon that inspired not just one generation but, thanks to multiple sequels and lucrative merchandising, numerous generations for years to come. Before selling his lucrative franchise to Disney in 2012, Lucas licensed the property out to multiple different multimedia ventures, including videogames, a slew of original novels, and a computer-generated animated series that looked to bridge the gap between his two trilogies. Impressed by completed footage of some early episodes, Lucas began developing a big-screen feature film to act as an introduction to what would become one of the most beloved and influential spin-offs of the mainstream Star Wars saga. Inspired by anime, Lucas urged his animators at Lucasfilm and Lucasfilm Animation to create a stylistic look rather than a realistic one, one that would be produced using similar techniques to a traditional live-action film. Although Star Wars: The Clone Wars made an impressive $68.3 million at the box office and led to the aforementioned animated series, the feature was met with largely negative reviews; reviews criticised the wooden animation, dull characterisations, and the line delivery, and the film is generally regarded as one of the worst Star Wars productions ever made.
The Review: I feel it’s only fair to preface this review by saying that I never really watched The Clone Wars (2008 to 2020; 2021) when it aired; I’ve seen a few episodes, mainly from the first season, and caught it every now and then but I just wasn’t really watching many cartoons in that time. I had seen this movie, though, and don’t remember being massively impressed by it, which may have been part of the reason why I didn’t venture into the show until I heard Darth Maul (Sam Witwer) had shown up, but a major reason why I didn’t really want to watch The Clone Wars was purely because of my immediate dislike for the character of Ahsoka Tano, but I’ll get into that a little later into the review. The Clone Wars begins in a time of considerable galactic turmoil, as told to us through a homage to military recruitment videos: the battle between the Separatists and the Republic wages, with Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus leading the droid army (Matthew Wood) and seizing control of major hyperspace lanes to cut Chancellor Palpatine (Ian Abercrombie) off from the majority of his clone army (Baker). As a result, the Jedi Order has been forced to take a far more active role in the combat, which means that peace and order across the galaxy has suffered as a consequence, and directly results in the main plot of this film coming to pass as Jabba beseeches the Jedi order to rescue his kidnapped son from a rival band of pilots.
Jabba’s so desperate that he asks the Jedi for help, who can only spare two guys knee-deep in conflict.
Although both Palpatine and Jedi Master Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) are cautious of getting involved with a crime lord like Jabba, Palpatine reasons that rescuing young Rotta would greatly aid the war effort as Jabba controls the space lanes around Tatooine. With the Jedi routed by General Grievous (Matthew Wood), Windu is only able to spare Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his Jedi Knight partner, Anakin Skywalker, to aid in the rescue. The two are currently knee-deep in battle on the planet Christophsis; their relationship is very much (and very fittingly) somewhere in the middle of Obi-Wan’s strained mentorship from Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones(Lucas, 2002) and his more peer-based camaraderie fromStar Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (ibid, 2005). Anakin is clearly not the brash, pouty youth from Attack of the Clones and has been hardened by battle (something his nifty new eye scar is a helpful indication of), but is still growing into his role as a leader of the Republic forces. Obi-Wan is thus still a much-needed counterbalance to Anakin’s more impetuous nature; the two share a brotherly relationship based on mutual trust and confidence in each other’s abilities and strengths, but Anakin remains the more hot-headed and unpredictable of the two, though they do share some battlefield banter that helps to show that they’re completely at ease with each other in the midst of even overwhelming odds. Fatigued and having suffered heavy losses and in desperate need of reinforcements and supplies, both Jedi are stunned when, rather than receiving much-needed resources, they are greeted by Ahsoka Tano, a Youngling Jedi dispatched to deliver Jedi Master Yoda’s (Kane) message regarding the situation on Tatooine.
Anakin is unimpressed to find himself lumbered with the reckless Ahsoka as his new apprentice.
For Anakin, Ahsoka’s presence is more than a shock, it’s a downright insult as he feels like the Jedi are ignorant to the struggles they’ve faced on Christophsis and has little time for fledgling Jedi. Already indifferent towards Obi-Wan’s insistence that he take up a Padawan to help train the next generation of Jedi and learn something about himself in the process, Anakin is overly dismissive of Ahsoka after being forced by Yoda to supervise her training and their relationship is noticeably frosty due to his belief that an unprepared and undisciplined Youngling would only slow him down. His abrasive attitude is only exacerbated by her snarky nature, wide-eyed optimism, and overly friendly personality; she openly greets everyone with a plucky vigour and riles Anakin up no end by tagging him with the grating nickname “SkyGuy” (to which he counters by calling her “Snips”). Eager to offer her assistance and to gain the battle experience necessary to her training, Ahsoka jumps at the chance to break through the droid army’s energy shield; even though Anakin agrees with her suggestion in theory, he’s aggravated that she continuously speaks above her position and by her refusal to respect his seniority. Although her overenthusiasm means that she’s yet to learn her place in the pecking order, Ahsoka continuously comes up with viable suggestions that even Anakin is forced to agree with, but her inexperience and immaturity continually cause friction between the two and trouble for the plot; she’s handy with a lightsaber, that’s for sure, but blunders into obvious traps due to her recklessness and her abilities with the Force lack in the finesse that comes from time and practice.
Although Rotta is rescued, the Jedi are opposed by Dooku’s mysterious disciple, Asajj Ventress.
Still, Anakin comes to offer his begrudging respect and sees a lot of himself in Ahsoka; he agrees to take her on as his apprentice and she accompanies him to the Teth system to rescue Rotta while Obi-Wan travels to Tatooine to negotiate a treaty with Jabba. Jabba is understandably anxious to see his son returned to him; he’s angered when the heads of the bounty hunters he hired are returned to him and gives the Jedi only one Tatooine day to succeed, after which he fully intends to employ the services of Count Dooku and the Separatists. Rotta’s rescue is very much a trial by fire for Ahsoka thanks to the fortress where he’s being held being heavily fortified and defended by the droid army; still, the Jedi are able to secure the fortress and find the infantile Huttling, but Count Dooku is able to use the footage to frame the Jedi as having kidnapped the child. Indeed, it transpires that Rotta’s kidnapping was part of a grand scheme by Chancellor Palpatine, who secretly leads the Separatist forces as the malevolent Darth Sidious; Dooku acts as Sidious’s commanding officer and as the public face of the army, and here further distorts the nonsensical “Rule of Two” by having an apprentice of his own, Asajj Ventress (Futterman). A mysterious and vindictive Dark Jedi, Ventress doesn’t really get much characterisation or backstory; all we really learn about her is that she’s motivated by revenge against the Jedi, commands a great deal of respect within the droid army, and wields a double-bladed lightsaber, so again we’re left with a villainous character who looks, sounds, and fights extremely well but about whom we’re forced to do extensive reading or research to find out anything about. Still, Ventress’s appearance does result in a thrilling lightsaber duel that pits her against Obi-Wan; he exhibits a familiarity with her (I believe they fought in the original Star Wars: Clone Wars (Tartakovsky, 2003 to 2005) micro-series) and their battle is easily one of the few non-clone/droid conflict highlights of the film thanks to Taylor’s enigmatic performance as Obi-Wan and the slick presentation of the fight.
The Nitty-Gritty: Star Wars: The Clone Wars definitely stands out from other animated movies of the time with its visual presentation; character models are a bit stiff and rigid, not unlike the marionettes seen in Gerry Anderson’s productions, and yet surprisingly fluid when in action. The presentation kind of resembles a more grown-up version of the LEGO videogames and feature films, resulting in visuals that maybe aren’t as technically impressive or as detailed as other animated films but are surprisingly fitting for the Star Wars universe. It’s not a stretch to see these characters as exaggerated versions of their film counterparts, and the aesthetics and filmmaking techniques all perfectly evoke the atmosphere and presentation of the Prequel Trilogy. Even though some of the main cast don’t reprise their roles, their replacements are more than capable of bringing these characters to life and, in some cases, actually do a better job (Matt Lanter is able to bring far more depth and emotional complexity to Anakin thanks to the additional screen time and context given by the film and series). However, considering it’s an animated feature, there aren’t many unique or visually interesting locations on offer; we get the usual trappings like the Jedi Temple of Coruscant and the bridge of various Republic star cruisers, but Christophsis is a largely barren and war-torn cityscape and even Teth, where Ventress ambushes the Jedi, isn’t exactly mind blowing. Of course, for me the greatest is crime is the return to the desolate wasteland of Tatooine; sand planets and settings have never been all that visually interesting to me and I remain continuously disappointed by Star Wars’ insistence of returning to this location or trope again and again, but it’s especially egregious here, where the animatiors had the freedom to dream up new characters and locations and instead the filmmakers defaulted back to tried, tested, and tired trappings like Jabba and Tatooine.
War is at the forefront of The Clone Wars, more so than other Star Wars features.
The Clone Wars definitely feels like a natural expansion of Attack of the Clones in the depiction of conflict, its presentation, and the ominous nature of Darth Sidious’s looming threat. Being that The Clone Wars is set at the height of the titular conflict, war and battle are a central focus of the film; the battle on Christophsis is indicative of that, and stylistically very similar to the final assault on Geonosis from Attack of the Clones. Here, the full force of the droid army is seen in foreboding detail as their various different mechanical attack droids lay down a veritable wall of suppressing fire against the Republic’s forces but, as is often the case, the Jedi remain the x-factor necessary to turn the tide and cause a retreat. Naturally, the clone troopers play a big role in the film and are given a surprising amount of personality and distinctiveness considering that all have the same face and voice; their co-ordination and dedication to their cause makes them a near-inexhaustible force, but they are wisely made distinct and more relatable through slight colouring and hair variations and Obi-Wan and Anakin’s familiarity with Captain Rex (Baker) and Commander Cody (ibid). Interestingly, despite being portrayed as an overwhelming, inexhaustible, and constant threat and being responsible for many clone trooper deaths, the droids are also paradoxically played for comedic effect; during the campaign on Teth, the droid commanders bicker and suffer numerous pratfalls that I guess are there to ease the tension from the conflict but result in them just coming across as an inconsistent menace. It’s not all ground- and space-based combat, either; Obi-Wan outsmarts the Christophsis general, Whorm Loathsom (Corey Burton), by feigning surrender and Anakin and Ahsoka sneak their way past the army’s forces to destroy their energy shield, indicating that the conflicts are solved by strategy and intelligence as much as brute force and reinforcements.
Ahosoka eventually became a fan favourite, but she’s a pain in the ass to me.
So, I mentioned at the top that I wasn’t a fan of Ahsoka and that is largely because of her characterisation in this feature. Ahsoka is an annoying, smart mouthed little know-it-all who grates on my patience almost as much as she does Anakin’s. She’s inexperienced and overeager, constantly rushing head-first into conflicts without thought of the consequences, and what’s worse is how often her approach or observations get results! It was her idea that allowed the energy barrier to be lowered on Christophsis, she logically pushes Anakin to prioritise Rotta’s life over aiding Rex and the clones, she even saves Anakin’s life more than once with her reckless methods, and her passion to be an active combatant and gain the experience necessary to earn respect actually pays off as both Anakin and Captain Rex are impressed by her efforts. Her insubordination and overconfidence are trying; it’s more annoying than endearing that she constantly has to comment on everything, from Anakin’s techniques, to the teachings of the Jedi, to battle plans and her surroundings, and it’s pretty clear that she was written to be as aggravating as possible so that her potential and thematic parallels to Anakin could be all the more explicit. Anakin is on the cusp of becoming a Jedi Master but has yet to properly learn what it means to be a humble and considerate member of the Jedi order; his faith in his abilities has only increased as he has won and commanded more and more battles, and Yoda purposely lumbered him with an apprentice in an effort to teach him the greater aim of a Jedi beyond combat. Indeed, Ahsoka mirrors many of Anakin’s worst personality traits and is much like he was as a child and in Attack of the Clones, but without the anger that would later spell the end of the Jedi Order. Thus, Ahsoka shows Anakin how much he’s grown and gives him a taste of his own medicine; however, while I’m sure that Ahsoka became much more likeable and interesting over the course of many episodes and years, I have little interest in seeing that growth since I just don’t really enjoy her character in principal or in context and think the idea of Anakin having a hitherto-unheard of Padawan just raises more unnecessary questions (chief among them being where was she in Revenge of the Sith?)
The timely intervention of Padmé sees Jabba agree to a treaty, though darkness still looms…
After rescuing Rotta, and stabilising his fever, Anakin and Ahsoka are attacked and shot down over Tatooine by Dooku’s forces to curry favour with the bulbous warlord; Anakin battles Dooku on the sands of Tatooine with a decoy, but is forced to rush off when he sees Ahsoko is in danger. However, he goes right to Jabba’s Palace, forcing Ahsoko to prove her mettle against the robotic MagnaGuards; although he’s elated to be reunited with Rotta, Jabba orders the two Jedi to be executed. Thankfully, though, Anakin’s secret wife, Senator Padmé Amidala (Catherine Taber) makes a late-film arrival and discovers that Jabba’s uncle, Ziro (Corey Burton), conspired with Dooku to have Rotta kidnapped as part of an elaborate plan to seize control of Jabba’s territory for himself. Having learned of the truth, Jabba agrees to grant the Republic use of his trade routes and ends his hostilities with the Jedi, however this victory is tainted somewhat by the continued threat posed by the Sith lurking in the background. While the galaxy is divided by conflict and the Jedi are distracted by war and growing unrest across the many systems, Sidious is easily able to manipulate events in his favour; kidnaping Rotta, attempting to frame the Jedi, and causing disruptions and hostilities across the galaxy all contribute to his endgame, which is larger than any one battle or single loss. Consequently, even when the Jedi score a victory in battle or succeed in winning Jabba’s favour, Sidious remains undeterred in the larger goals of his machinations against the Jedi Order.
The Summary: I don’t absolutely hate Star Wars: The Clone Wars; I wouldn’t go as far as to say that it’s the worst Star Wars film to ever be produced, but it’s not exactly the best either. I think, for me, a big issue with the feature is that it’s set during the Prequel Trilogy, which is not an era of Star Wars that I look back upon fondly. I know that, for a lot of people, the subsequent animated series really helped to redeem the Prequels by vastly expanding upon the lore, conflict, and characters portrayed so questionably in the films, but I don’t subscribe to this logic. None of the character growth from the series is reflected in Revenge of the Sith; it’s easy to assume that, between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, Anakin was hardened by battle and grew into a more competent Jedi, and there’s certainly no indication that he learned any valuable lessons from an unnecessary Padawan. I get the idea of Ahsoko Tano as a fresh face for the spin-off and a thematic parallel to Anakin to help him grow, but I can’t get over just how weird it is to see Anakin taking on an apprentice when there was no mention or indication of this in the films. The animation is pretty good, though; I get why it’s not everyone’s cup of tea but I think it’s very fitting for the Star Wars universe, especially in recreating the presentation and essence of the Prequel Trilogy, and the scenes of conflict are all very well done. I think it helps that the whole film is computer-generated, which makes everything look a lot better than slapping actors on green and blue screens with a reckless excess like in Lucas’s films, and the characterisations really go a long way to fleshing Anakin and Obi-Wan out. The greater overall threat of the Sith plot sadly takes a bit of a back seat due to the odd decision to focus on rescuing a Huttling, but it’s a decent enough animated adventure to set the stage for the popular spin-off and probably worth a watch if you’ve never seen The Clone Wars before, though it definitely isn’t as exciting or engaging as the live-action films by any means.
My Rating:
⭐⭐
Rating: 2 out of 5.
Could Be Better
How do you feel about Star Wars: The Clone Wars? Did you enjoy the film or are you in agreement with the general consensus that it’s a poor effort for Star Wars? Are you a fan of Ahosko and, if so, what was it about her that won you over and how long did it take you to become a fan? What did you think to the rescue plot and the depiction of conflict in the film? How are you celebrating May the Fourth this year? What’s the worst piece of Star Wars media you’ve ever seen? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to leave them below or drop a comment on my social media, and check out my other Star Wars content!
Released: 21 April 2023 Director: Lee Cronin Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $19 million Stars: Lily Sullivan, Alyssa Sutherland, Gabrielle Echols, Morgan Davies, and Nell Fisher
The Plot: Road-weary Beth (Sullivan) pays an overdue visit to her older sister Ellie (Sutherland), who is raising three kids on her own in a cramped Los Angeles apartment. Their reunion is cut short by the discovery of a mysterious book deep in the bowels of Ellie’s building, giving rise to flesh-possessing demons, and thrusting Beth into a primal battle for survival as she is faced with the most nightmarish version of motherhood imaginable.
The Background: The Evil Dead(Raimi, 1981) was the brainchild of now-legendary horror director Sam Raimi and his long-time friend Bruce Campbell, who eventually became a horror icon for his portrayal of long-time franchise protagonist Ashley “Ash” Williams. Audiences were horrified by The Evil Dead, which became an unexpected critical and financial hit. After reluctantly returning to the franchise for the bigger and betterEvil Dead II: Dead by Dawn(ibid, 1987), Raimi and Campbell divided audiences with the slapstick stylings of Army of Darkness(ibid, 1993), which left the franchise dead in the water (beyond videogames and comic books) for the better part of twenty years. However, Evil Dead rose from the grave with Evil Dead(Álvarez, 2013), a brutalre-imagining that proved a commercial and critical success; naturally, talk of a sequel soon followed, but Raimi also bizarrely spoke of plans to produce a sequel to Army of Darkness, which would then be followed by another film that linked the original films to the remake. Although both projects ultimately never came to fruition, Campbell reprised his role and the franchise continued on in the critically-acclaimed Starz series Ash vs. Evil Dead (2015 to 2018) before retiring as Ash, leaving the fate of another Evil Dead movie up in the air. However, Raimi, Campbell, and their long-time producer friend Robert G. Tapert officially revived the franchise in 2019; Raimi hand-picked Lee Cronin to direct and Cronin later proudly claimed that the film used over 6,500 litres of fake blood! Originally set to be released exclusively on HBO Max, test screenings proved so positive that Warner Bros. upgraded Evil Dead Rise to a theatrical release where it proved to be an unexpected financial success. Evil Dead Rise made nearly $150 million worldwide and been met with overwhelmingly positive reviews. Critics praised the lively gore, the surprisingly poignant performances, and the new direction, which focused on motherhood and family, leaving the franchise in a good place for potential follow-up movies that explore the lengthy, bloody history of the Deadites and their damnable book.
The Review: I think I detailed my opinions on the Evil Dead movies pretty well in my individual reviews; I’ve always been a bit fan of the series and really enjoyed the gritty, gory, madcap nature of the original movies. While my ranking of all four is pretty clear-cut and I have my issues with the original film and Army of Darkness, I think the franchise has, overall, hit more than it missed. Granted, a lot of this was because of the grotesque content of the first two films and Bruce Campbell’s career-defining turn as the franchise’s quick-witted, chainsaw-armed protagonist, but Evil Dead showed that the series still had plenty of gas in it even as a remake. Evil Dead is easily one of my most favourite horror movies; I loved how the filmmakers took the concept seriously, put some real money behind it, and yet still didn’t hold back with the gore. If anything, Evil Dead pushed things further than even the ghastly original movie, and I remember being super happy to see that the remake performed well, critically and commercially, and yet disappointed to find that we never got a follow-up, much less closure regarding the film’s abrupt ending. When the ridiculously fun Ash vs. Evil Dead landed, I held out hope that maybe we’d see a team up between Ash and Mia Allen (Jane Levy) but, sadly, it wasn’t to be and the closest we got to this was seeing characters from across the franchise crop up in Evil Dead: The Game (Saber Interactive 2022). I was thus sceptical when the first trailers for Evil Dead Rise landed; not only did it seem to be doing something very different with the concept (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as we’ve seen the “cabin in the woods” trope done to death at this point), but it was hard to tell where it fit into the canon; was it a continuation of Sam Raimi’s original films, the remake, the series, or its own thing entirely? Evil Dead Rise ends up subtly being all of these things at once, and it works a lot better than I thought it would.
Perpetual screw-up Beth is forced to defend her family after her sister is possessed by a demonic force.
The film begins in familiar territory; twenty-somethings Teresa (Mirabai Pease), Caleb (Richard Crouchley), and Jessica (Anna-Maree Thomas) are enjoying themselves at a secluded lakeside cabin with Jessica violently succumbs to demonic possession and attacks her friends, but this cold-open is really just there for a big of explicit fan service and homage to the original movie and to get things off to a gruesome start as the rest of the film takes place in the claustrophobic corridors and dank apartment of a Los Angeles tower block. There, struggling tattoo artist Ellie lives with her three kids – eco-warrior Bridget (Echols), wannabe disc jockey Danny (Davies), and imaginative Kassie (Fisher) – and is facing impending eviction as their building is scheduled for demolition. Their family dynamic is at the heart of the film and based on mutual respect; though they miss their father and want to see him and Ellie patch things up, they’re not lashing out or resenting her efforts to keep a roof under their heads and are all largely pragmatic about their less-than-ideal situation. This is similar to the relationship between Ellie and Beth; they used to be very close as kids but drifted apart somewhat as Beth took to the road as a “groupie” and has been so focused on getting her music career off the ground that she’s neglected to stay in contact with her sister, nieces, and nephew. Yet, despite arriving too late to help with Ellie’s messy break-up, the two power past any bitterness since Ellie can intuit that something’s bothering Beth; specifically, she’s struggling with the revelation that she’s pregnant, and much of the film’s focus is on her accepting this and being put through a gruesome trial by fire as she fights to protect her sister’s kids. I really enjoyed Beth and Ellie’s relationship; it’s clear that Beth feels bad about not staying in touch and that she wasn’t there for her sister like she’s always been for her, but she’s trying her best and Ellie doesn’t give her a hard time over it. Once Ellie gets possessed and starts violently lashing out, Beth steps into a matriarchal role with ease since she already had a good relationship with the kids as their bad-ass aunt.
The kids witness some truly horrific sights, and some even succumb to the malicious evil force!
I actually didn’t mind the kids, either; kids can often be hit or miss, especially in horror movies, but the kids in Evil Dead Rise thankfully avoided being stroppy, confrontational teenagers or whining, annoying brats. Although Danny and Bridget clash a little bit, especially when she interrupts him, and there’s a little resentment as he’s older and can drive, there’s no antagonism between them and they have some fun banter and a playful relationship with youngster Kassie, probably the standout of the three, especially considering the horrors she’s subject to throughout the film! While coming back from fetching pizza, Bridget, Danny, and Kassie are rocked by a sudden earthquake which opens up a hole in the parking garage of their tower block. Unable to resist his curiosity, Danny ventures down into a hidden vault from the building’s past as a bank and discovers a couple of vinyl records and a mysterious book sealed by fang-like thorns. Ever the budding DJ, he plays the tapes and learns of this third volume of Naturom Demonto, unwittingly unleashing the demonic force that possesses and corrupts his mother into a twisted, snarling Deadite. This is primarily where relationships briefly break down between Bridget and Danny; she begged him not to mess around in the vault, chastised him for stealing the book and records, and angrily lashes out at him after he reveals his part in the nightmarish events that have taken place. Danny’s smart enough not to object to this or even fight back; he carries a tremendous guilt knowing that he’s caused harm to his mother and is indirectly responsible for some truly shocking deaths, but Beth is on hand to cool their tempers and ensure that they all stick together as a family. Still, Danny is compelled to fight back against the demonic Ellie to try and make amends and when Bridget is also claimed by the evil force regardless, he tries to comfort Kassie, but ultimately even he ends up another victim to the spiteful evil after taking a face full of blood bile from his possessed sister and a few wince-inducing stabs to the arms.
Possessed by the evil force, Ellie may be the most formidable and wicked of all the Deadites!
I mentioned that this is the third volume of the Naturom Demonto and it’s true; the tape recording explicitly states this, which is enough of an explanation for me (it’s easy to believe that the original trilogy, the remake, and this film are all in the same canon, just with different books) and this is only bolstered when you remember that there were three books in Army of Darkness, something I somehow forgot about until after seeing this film. The evil force unleashed here is similar to what we’ve seen before, but also very different; what we see of the book is mainly ghastly prophetic drawings inked in human blood, and this particular book was discovered by a group of priests, one of whom foolishly read from it in a bid to understand the afterlife and heal the sick, and who was forced to lock it away after finding it quite indestructible. Still, the evil is still represented by a rushing, disembodied force that latches onto its victim through violent assault; poor Ellie never even sees it coming; she’s lashed up in elevator cables, has her earring ripped out, and is bent and broken by the invading spirit, which spitefully twists her love for her family against her. In previous Evil Dead films, the possessed would briefly revert back to normal but it was always a trick by the demons; here, Ellie does have brief moments of genuine lucidity, but the rest of the time it’s the demon maliciously tormenting her family and trying to trick them into letting her in, which the poor naïve Kassie almost falls for. Once possessed, Ellie demonstrates horrific superhuman strength, speed, and a contortionist’s agility; she easily manhandles the handful of other tenants, chewing out an eyeball, ripping limbs from bodies, and throwing off her attackers with ease. Unlike other Deadites, Ellie is practically unstoppable; the tape details how the possessed now shrug off all injury, even being set aflame, and that the only permanent solution is total bodily dismemberment and even then, Ellie just keeps coming back! Although her kids and Beth manage to barricade themselves in the apartment, the evil still seeps in thanks to Bridget suffering the smallest of nicks; that (and a disgusting kiss from her mother) is enough for the evil to claim her as well, turning her into a rabid, feral child who, like her mother, pounces upon her prey with snarling glee.
The Nitty-Gritty: Evil Dead Rise definitely goes back to the smaller, grittier, isolated horror that was so prevalent in the original. While this is the first time an Evil Dead movie has taken place in a major city, an all-out Deadite infestation isn’t the focus here; instead, the isolation of a cabin in the woods is replaced by a similar, claustrophobic horror of a cramped apartment in a dilapidated apartment building where the power and elevator are less than reliable. The earthquake also takes out the stairwell and causes power fluctuations, further recreating the sense of despair that permeated the previous cabin-based movies. Where Evil Dead Rise really stands out, though, is that it focuses primarily on one Deadite, the possessed form of a mother and sister, rather than a group of the undead or the ritualistic sacrifice of souls to summon a greater evil. This scaling back of the threat works really well in the context of the movie; Beth and the kids can’t just leave as they’re cut off from escape and feel a sense of obligation to tend to Ellie’s rotting corpse, then they’re forced to endure psychological and horrific bodily harm at the revived Ellie’s hands with no real hope of salvation. Indeed, the handful of other residents prove to be little more than cannon fodder to the flesh-hungry Deadite; a wonderful sequence provides just enough of a hint of Ellie’s brutality as Beth watches in horror through the peep hole in the apartment door, but that comes after she ravenously rips a bloke’s eye out and spits it into someone else’s mouth! This isn’t the only reference to Evil Dead II in the film, though; in fact, there are lots of them peppered throughout, from similar tilting shots and situations (like the stairway having collapsed like the bridge was destroyed), to explicit lines (“Come get some!” and the gaggle of zombified corpses littering the corridor chanting “Dead by dawn!” over and over), to Beth’s eventually handiness with a chainsaw, but I also appreciated that evil infecting Bridget was depicted as a putrid, tar-like corruption of her veins, similar to in the first film.
Alongside its mounting, atmospheric dread, Evil Dead Rise doesn’t skimp on the brutal gore!
Of course, one explicit way that Evil Dead Rise evokes not just Evil Dead II but the majority of the franchise is through its gore. While a surprising amount of the film is actually devoted to building tension and focusing on the mounting horror inside the apartment as Beth and the kids struggle to come to grips with what’s happened, Evil Dead Rise is unrelenting when the blood starts spilling. Things are off to a gruesome start in the cold open when the possessed Jessica rips Teresa’s scalp off, shoves a drone’s blades into her face and tosses Caleb’s severed head from the lake but Ellie’s bone-crunching possession and the way her body is twisted and contorted by the invading spirit is extremely gruelling to watch, and even evokes the controversial “tree rape” scene from the original movie. Once claimed by the evil, Ellie becomes a sneering, cackling ghoul who stabs a shard of glass into Beth’s hands, tears through the other tenants, and even tries to stick a tattoo needle in Bridget’s eye! At one point, Ellie is briefly stunned when Beth shoves a pair of scissors up her nose and blows her arms and a leg off, but her unrelenting assault sees poor Bridget get possessed as well. Bridget announces this by chewing on a wine glass, the shards piercing her throat, and gleefully runs a cheese grater down Beth’s calf, turning her skin into ribbons of gore! Bridget’s attack upon her siblings is much briefer than her mother’s thanks to Kassie’s little mop friend; when Bridget leaps to devour her little sister, she gets the broken end of the mop’s handle shoved right through her skull, but she soon recovers from this to brutalise Danny, who also turns into a Deadite after being repeatedly stabbed by his possessed, knife-wielding sister. There’s a fair bit of disgusting vomit here, too; Ellie spews up a load of creamy-white gunk before collapsing and Bridget practically drowns Danny in bloody bile before being set alight. The film even has a bit of an ode to The Shining (Kubrick, 1980) for a scene where Beth and Kassie are forced to escape in the malfunctioning elevator and it fills up with thick, bubbling gore that is deposited, alongside them, into the ground floor car park!
After enduring a gruelling assault, Beth is forced to dismember her possessed sister to dispatch the evil force.
This volume of Naturom Demonto unleashes a slightly altered demonic force, one far more durably and malicious than those we’ve seen before; sure, Ellie could be compared to the cackling witch from Evil Dead II and the possessed Mia delighted in tormenting her friends in Evil Dead, but there’s something more visceral and horrifying about a mother spitting such venom at her cowering children and twisting Ellie’s emotions against her family. Although the recordings reveal to Beth that complete bodily dismemberment could put a stop to Ellie, she’s not exactly got the tools for that in the tiny apartment, but there is a convenient woodchipper in the parking garage. At first, this isn’t Beth’s goal; she’s simply trying to get Kassie to safety, which she manages to do after subduing her attackers with a shotgun and taking the bloody express elevator to the ground floor. However, the possessed Danny and Bridget rip their way into their mother’s body and the three of them come together as a multi-limbed, screeching monstrosity known as the “Marauder”. This almost spider-like amalgamation of limbs and teeth follows Beth and Kassie to the garage and stalks them in scenes reminiscent to Mia’s final stand against the Abomination (Randal Wilson/Rupert Degas). Disturbingly quick and inhumanly powerful, the Marauder corners Kassie and revels in her horror as it closes in on her with a chainsaw, but Beth manages to save her young niece with a well-timed shotgun blast and claim the chainsaw her herself. She’s then able to hold her own against the beast, retaining all of her limbs in the process, so Kassie can activate the woodchipper; the Marauder’s foot gets caught in the spinning blades and it’s reduced to chinks of gore with an agonised wailing. However, even with its body being chewed up and when left a blinking, twitching, severed head, it continues to taunt Beth, who simply chops into it with her chainsaw and boots the head into the machine, finally finishing it off and allowing her and Kassie (both drenched in blood) to escape the apartment building. The film ends with the reveal that Jessica was also a tenant in the building and, in a homage to the ending of The Evil Dead, she’s attacked by the disembodied force while investigating the garage. Personally, I would’ve liked to see the cold-open replaced with a slightly different scene (perhaps a flashback to the book’s reading from 1923 so that Bruce Campbell could’ve made more than a voice cameo) and replaced Jessica with one of the characters from Evil Dead, just to tie things together a little better, but I appreciated the homage and enjoyed the blood-soaked finale, which worked as a cathartic, heroic evolution for the previously unsure and hesitant Beth, who has now become a battle-hardened protector figure.
The Summary: I don’t want to say I was anxious about Evil Dead Rise, but I was curious; to be honest, I was a bit annoyed that we never got a direct sequel to Evil Dead, as much as I enjoyed Ash vs. Evil Dead, and was worried that the film would either ignore the remake or just be another reboot. Thankfully, the one, throwaway line about there being three books satisfied my urge for some kind of explanation and the film provided enough entertainment to keep me engaged regardless. This is again another brilliant indication that the Evil Dead franchise doesn’t need Ash to be enjoyable, and I really liked that Evil Dead Rise mixed things up a bit by focusing on a family trapped in their apartment rather than the cliché cabin in the woods. The location was almost too perfect at evoking the same sense of isolation and dread as being trapped in a secluded cabin and the focus on the family dynamic and drama made the horror so much more impactful and meaningful. Ellie might be the most intimidating and malicious Deadite in the entire series; seeing her love for her children twisted against them and her voracious need to torment and consume them was just horrendous in ways beyond the simple terror of a rabi, zombie-like demon scratching at the door, and this was conveyed really well through the child actors. I liked how each of them stood out in their own ways; the whole family was a little alternative and had a great dynamic, and the central story of Beth needing to step up and defend her family, stand on her own two feet, and realise her role as a mother came through really well. Gorehounds should also be very satisfied with Evil Dead Rise; the film does a great job building tension and focusing on psychological terror rather than going a mile a minute with the splatter-horror but, when the blood does start flowing, it’s brutal and glorious to see! I especially enjoyed that Ellie was twisted into an all-new monstrosity at the end and the implication that each book unleashes a slightly different evil, and, overall, I was extremely impressed by the film, which again took the concept seriously (while still having a little fun) and delivered both chilling tension and shocking gore in equal amounts.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
What did you think to Evil DeadRise? Where would you rate it compared to other entries in the franchise? What did you think to the new direction and were you satisfied by its links to the other films? Which of the characters was your favourite and what did you think to the family-orientated focus of the horror? What did you think to the film’s gore and callbacks to previous Evil Dead films? Were you surprised by how durable Ellie was and what did you think to her multi-limbed Marauder form? Where would you like to see the franchise go next? Whatever your think about Evil DeadRise and the franchise, feel free to leave a comment below or on my social media, and go check out my other Evil Dead reviews!
Audiences were first introduced to the horrific, biomechanical Xenomorphs in this classic science-fiction horror filmin which an unsuspecting cargo crew investigates a beacon on the barren world of LV-426 and, as a result, the 26th of April is widely celebrated as “Alien Day”, a day to celebrate one of the greatest sci-fi/horror franchises ever created.
Released: 1 June 1991 Originally Released: 18 July 1986 Director: James Cameron Distributor: 20th Century Fox Budget: $18.5 million Stars: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Paul Reiser, Carrie Henn, Bill Paxton, Jenette Goldstein, William Hope, and Lance Henriksen
The Plot: Having survived an attack by a vicious alien creature (Bolaji Badejo), Lieutenant Ellen Ripley (Weaver) is awakened from stasis only to find fifty-seven years have passed her pay, and the desolate world where her doomed crewmates discovered the Xenomorph has been terraformed and colonised by the shady Weyland-Yutani Corporation. However, when the colony stumbles across the derelict alien craft and its gruesome cargo, Ripley is forced to join a crack team of Colonial Marines and confront her worst nightmares by returning to the planet to face the alien menace once more.
The Background: In 1979, writers Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett’s concept of “Jaws (Spielberg, 1975) in space” was brought to life by director John Carpenter as Alien; the idea of “truckers in space” was injected with the unsettling visuals of Swiss artist H. R. Giger, and the film became a surprise commercial success. Though it was met with mixed reviews at the time, Alien is now widely regarded as one of the greatest movies of all time, and the film’s financial success meant that the studio was eager to produce a sequel, but it would take seven years for the follow-up to come to fruition due to financial concerns and the viability of replicating Alien’s success. After settling a questionable lawsuit, production finally began to pick up steam when James Cameron, hot off the success of The Terminator(ibid, 1984), pitched a potential treatment for the sequel; although others warned him off trying to follow in Carpenter’s footsteps, Cameron pushed onwards and convinced the studio to invest in his idea for a bigger, more action-packed sequel. Though initially reluctant to return to her role as Ripley, star Weaver had to be convinced the sequel wasn’t simply a cheap cash-grab and negotiated an unprecedented $1 million salary to join the production; she was initially set to star alongside James Remar, but was paired up with Cameron’s Terminator star Michael Biehn after Remar was arrested for drug possession. The seventy-five day shoot was made stressful for Cameron as many of the crew were dismissive of him due to his lack of directorial experience; however, he stayed the course and used his familiarity with smaller special-effects studios to secure the services of the legendary Stan Winston. Giger was reportedly unhappy to be left out of the production, but Winston was able to convincingly create the illusion that hoards of Xenomorphs were onscreen despite only twelve practical suits being made, and film’s most impressive effect, the Xenomorph Queen, was realised through a combination of visual effects, puppetry, and complex animatronics. Although the exact figures vary, Aliens proved to be even more successful than its predecessor; it made between $131 and 183 million at the box office, far exceeding Alien’s financial return, and was also received far more favourably upon release. Critics praised the set-pieces and presentation, its intensity and horror, and it was generally regarded as being the most shockingly intense film in years. Thanks to its action scenes, themes of motherhood and the atrocities of war, Aliens has stood the test of time; regarded as one of the greatest films ever made, Aliensforever influenced the cultural and multimedia impact of the franchise, with many of its characters, designs, locations, and themes being evoked in Alien comic books, videogames, and spin-off for decades to come.
The Review: Aliens is another of those classic sci-fi/horror films that I grew up watching, and one of a number of sequels that are arguably better than the original; certainly, I struggle sometimes with which of the two I prefer. Aliens, for me, is definitely more watchable in a casual sense; I feel I have to get into a certain mind frame to watch Alien, one where it can’t just mindlessly be on in the background or else I don’t get to experience the full immersion. With Aliens, I could honestly put it on whenever and wherever and know that I’ll be in for a good time regardless of how much attention I pay, but just as Alien wasn’t merely some shlock horror film with a big space monster, so too is Aliens so much more than just a mindless action film. There are some impressively complex themes at work in this movie and it definitely established many of the lore and tropes that would become so synonymous with, and endlessly emulated throughout, the franchise and its subsequent crossovers.
A traumatised Ripley awakens to find herself 57 years out of the loop.
Aliens begins seemingly right where the first film left off, with Ripley and Jones the Cat (Boris) drifting through space in the Nostromo’s shuttle craft, safely dreaming away in hypersleep. When the shuttle is breached by a deep space salvage crew and the two are revived on a Weyland-Yutani space station in Earth orbit, Ripley is at first confused by the station’s presence and then shocked to learn from Weyland-Yutani representative Carter Burke (Reiser) that fifty-seven years have passed! However, that’s the least of her troubles as she suddenly starts convulsing from a pain in her chest; she writhes and begs the doctors to kill her and is horrified to see a Chestburster emerging from her body! Luckily, for her, this is just the first of many recurring nightmares for her; her experiences with the Xenomorph have left her severely traumatised, to the point where sleep is impossible without such nightmares plaguing her. As distressing as her memories are, however, they’re nothing compared to the heartbreak she feels at learning that her daughter (Elizabeth Inglis) has died during her absence or the betrayal she feels when a Weyland-Yutani committee, led by Van Leuwen (Paul Maxwell), grill her on the destruction of the Nostromo. They force her to retell a truncated version of the events of Alien over and over, forcing her to relive her traumatic experiences and explode in a rage when they continue to imply that she sabotaged and destroy her ship and her crew “for reasons unknown”. They discount her description of the Xenomorph and account of events due to lack of physical evidence and suspend her pilot’s license, but she’s more concerned about the fact that LV-426 is no longer an inhospitable world thanks to the efforts of terraformers.
While Apone’s marines might be gung-ho for the action, they’re as in over their heads as Gorman.
While the review board doesn’t believe that the Xenomorphs exist since they haven’t discovered any evidence of such a creature on LV-426 or any of the three-hundred-plus worlds mankind has surveyed, Ripley knows better and, wouldn’t you know it, a group of colonists stumble upon the crashed Engineer ship while out on a scouting mission and, before long, Burke is knocking on Ripley’s door with Lieutenant Scott Gorman (Hope). Understandably, Ripley is a boiling pot of emotions when they ask her to accompany a troop of Colonial Marines to investigate LV-426; not only does she feel betrayed by Burke and the Company for framing her as a patsy, she is so traumatised by her experiences with the Xenomorph that she has absolutely no desire to face her fears and believes that she wouldn’t be any use even in an advisory role. However, after suffering another of her nightmares, she begrudgingly agrees to make the trip but only after Burke swears that the purpose isn’t to capture or study the creatures, but to annihilate them. This introduces her to rowdy Sergeant Apone’s (Al Matthews) ragtag group of soldiers: privates Hudson (Paxton), Vasquez (Goldstein), Drake (Mark Rolston), Frost (Ricco Ross), Spunkmeyer (Daniel Kash), Crowe (Tip Tipping), and Wierzbowski (Trevor Steedman); and corporals Dwayne Hicks (Biehn), Dietrich (Cynthia Dale Scott), and Ferro (Colette Hiller). Although many of his troops are loudmouthed cynics or rowdy meatheads, Apone runs a tight ship and doesn’t stand for any nonsense; a proud man who is fully committed to the corps, he demands nothing but absolute focus from his team and for them to follow orders, even ones that don’t make sense to them. The marines are heavily armed and well experienced in a number of combat drops and scenarios, which mean they’re less than impressed with Gorman’s comparative lack of field experience and Ripley’s refusal to sit with “the rest of [the] grunts” in the canteen. However, while they exhibit a lack of distrust and respect for the Company and its representatives, they are a well-oiled team out in the field, sharing a level of trust and banter than brings levity without compromising their integrity.
Vasquez and Hudson standout from the pack with their memorable temperaments and characteristics.
Obviously, many of these marines are just there to add to the body count once the Xenomorphs start literally emerging from the walls and shadows but, of all the marines, there are three obvious standouts: Vasquez, Hudson, and Hicks. Vasquez is a tough-as-nails soldier who shows nothing but contempt towards Ripley and the orders to holster their weapons to avoid rupturing the colony with their gunfire. Her and Drake have a very close partnership and she is devastated when he is killed during the first skirmish with the aliens. Blaming his death directly on Gorman, she lashes out at the injured lieutenant and remains a hot-headed, explosive member of the survivors; ultimately, she’s forced to rely on Gorman to avoid being impregnated by the aliens, which sadly means them taking their own lives to be spared this fate. While all of the marines provide a measure of comic relief with their biting wit and overly macho behaviour, Hudson takes this to the extreme and beyond; he’s so confidant in his abilities and the superior firepower of his team that he’s aloof and arrogant as a result. Of the all, he’s the one who is most vocal of their bad-assery and the first to succumb to despair when they’re wiped out after being ambushed by the Xenomorphs. With limited resources and manpower and no hope of backup, Hudson’s bravado and resolve don’t just crack, they cave in to hopelessness and Ripley is forced to order him to compartmentalise his issues and get his shit together to help fortify their defences and strengthen their campaign against the aliens. Ultimately, his trigger-happy countenance and desire to strike back against his enemy lead to his downfall, as he’s pulled to his death during a particularly harrowing firefight, but the late, great Pill Paxton definitely stole the show with his performance here.
No mere grunt, Hicks is smart enough to keep his head, take charge, and utilise Ripley’s expertise.
And then, of course, there’s the calm and composed Corporal Hicks played by the massively under-rated Michael Biehn. Unlike many of his peers, Hicks is a level-headed and respectful soldier; he follows his orders without talking back to his superiors, is prepared enough to be carrying a non-explosive shotgun for “close encounters”, and, while he clearly has no love for corporate interference or figureheads like Burke, he is smart enough to know when to keep his mouth shut. With Apone lost during the initial encounter with the aliens, Hicks assumes command of the mission and, having witnessed first-hand that Ripley’s tall tales of biomechanical monsters with acid for blood make this more than the standard “bug hunt”, is fully prepared to take her expertise onboard and make preparations to destroy Hadley’s Hope despite Burke’s protests. There’s a bit of a romantic subplot between Ripley and Hicks, one that grows out of this mutual respect and admiration for each other’s ability, intelligence, and resolve; they never really get beyond the flirting stage, and their flirting is done while Hicks teaches Ripley how to handle the marines’ standard-issue Pulse Rifle, but the ease at which he steps into a position of command and supports her really helps to make his leadership qualities shine. Although clearly terrified and feeling the pressure of the situation, Hicks never gives in to despair or allows himself to become unfocused from the primary objective of survival and escape; when he’s injured by the aliens’ acid, he’s forced to take a backseat and cannot help Ripley in the film’s finale beyond ensuring that the dropship is waiting for her when she gets back, meaning that he never oversteps his boundaries to take away from Ripley’s agency as the primary protagonist and is, instead, and incredibly dependable soldier.
While Burke’s true nature is soon revealed, Bishop proves to be a trustworthy ally to the end.
Ripley’s relationship with science officer Bishop (Henriksen) is far more antagonistic; immediately revealed to be an “artificial human”, Ripley meets Bishop with a distrust that steps right into hostility based on her experience with a similar android in the first film. Throughout the movie, Ripley either ignores or irritably brushes Bishop off, convinced that he’s either a tool of the Company or a risk to herself and others just like Ash (Ian Holm), but Bishop remains nothing but polite and courteous throughout the entire movie. Having said that, though, he does seem to be as enamoured by the Facehugger and the Xenomorph species as his predecessor, and there are several moments where his intentions are cast into doubt, not least when Ripley finds the dropship missing at the finale and assumes the Bishop has left her to die. In the end, though, Bishop proves to be a trustworthy and reliable ally and earns Ripley’s respect by coming through in the end, which is more than can be said or Burke. It’s not long into the mission to Hadley’s Hope that Burke’s true nature as a corporate pen pusher comes to light; despite his assurances that they’re there to eradicate the Xenomorphs, he’s soon arguing against destroying the colony and trying to sell the survivors on the greater financial and military glory offered by the species. He even goes so far as to try and impregnate Ripley and Rebecca Jorden/Newt (Henn) with a Facehugger in order to get a specimen safely through quarantine and back to Earth, and is only spared being executed by the marines for his betrayal by an alien attack, which sees him get his just desserts.
Ripley connects with Newt, and soon takes a proactive role in fighting the alien threat to protect her.
Speaking of Newt, this resourceful and adorable little girl captures Ripley’s attention, heart, and respect for having not only witnessed the alien’s infestation first-hand but having the wherewithal to use the colony vents to stay safe and undetected. Initially a traumatised, almost animalistic girl traumatised by the horrors she’s seen, Newt proves a valuable resource to the remaining marines thanks to her knowledge of Hadley’s Hope, and Ripley does everything she possibly can to give her a sense of security and normalcy. When Newt is abducted by an alien warrior, Ripley immediately takes up arms to venture into the Xenomorph nest to rescue her before she can be impregnated, and through her finds a sense of redemption and hope thanks to the surrogate family they form alongside Hicks. As for the Xenomorphs themselves, Aliens greatly expands upon their nature, society, and screen time. It still takes about an hour for the first of many Xenomorph drones to appear onscreen, which builds a sense of dread and anticipation, and their appearances are always accompanied by ominous shadows or flashing lights to help keep them horrific creatures. Having overrun Hadley’s Hope, the aliens have not only impregnated and killed many of the colonists but also overtaken the environment with a biomechanical infestation that hides their numbers and allows them to strike undetected. Lacking the smooth, phallic skull of the original creature, and these creatures have a rigid, fearsome headpiece and are seen to be far more aggressive thanks to their superior numbers. The aliens scramble across walls and ceilings, hide in the shadows, and exhibit a great deal of intelligence by literally throwing themselves against the marines’ turrets to exhaust their ammo and getting the drop on the marines by using the vents and narrow passageways to get about. Of course, the most memorable and iconic addition to their species is the presence of a massive Xenomorph Queen; this horrific, disgusting matriarch is revealed to be the source of the eggs seen in the Engineer ship and fundamentally alters the Xenomorph’s nature from a self-sustaining biomechanical lifeform to something more akin to ants.
The Nitty-Gritty: Although Aliens is a very different movie compared to its predecessor, director James Cameron does a masterful job of maintaining a lot of the same horror elements and atmosphere through his incredibly detailed sets, fantastic use of lighting and shadows, and James Horner’s orchestral score. Both melancholy and rallying, depending on the situation, the score really goes a long way to bolstering both the tension felt when the marines are investigating the aftermath of Hadley’s Hope’s last stand against the aliens and when they’re engaging with their violent enemy with all guns blazing. Additionally, this is the film where the aliens gain their signature death squeal which, like the camaraderie between the marines, would become a staple of the franchise and its spin-offs. The marines are clearly a tight-knit group and have been through a lot together, which means they’re not ashamed to bust each other’s balls or through some shade at each other. Even Apone gets in on the action and has a very close, ground-level relationship with his troops; he easily assumes a position of command when required, and is clearly well respected by his marines, but is also clearly seen to be one of them as he sits and eats with them and is just as incredulous to Gorman’s nonsensical orders and inexperience. Many of the marines echo the anti-authority sentiment of some of the Nostromo’s crewmen; Gorman has little combat experience and is left completely overwhelmed when the aliens first attack as it goes against his by-the-book preparations, and the marines are only too happy to go against the Company’s orders (and Burke’s insistences) in order to better ensure their own survival rather than worrying about financial gain.
The additional scenes work in tandem with the practical effects to expand on the aliens’ nature.
Even now, coming up to forty years later, Aliens continues to impress thanks to its impressive sets and practical special effects; a number of tried-and-tested camera and filmmaking techniques and tricks are used to give Hadley’s Hope and the colony a sense of scale beyond what they were actually capable of. Model shots, composite shots, miniatures, and incredibly detailed practical suits are the order of the day here and help give the impression that there are hundreds of aliens scuttling through the colony at once. This is masterfully done during the first skirmish with the aliens, which is a frantic and terrifying experience told mostly through the marines’ head cameras and quick, violent cuts to the marines being picked off one by one by aliens or taken out by their own gunfire. Far more animalistic than their bipedal predecessor, the Xenomorphs are now scrambling, skeletal, hive-like creatures that seek only to cocoon and impregnate others to increase their numbers and to protect their queen. One of the biggest additional scenes added back into the film shows us life on Hadley’s Hope before the aliens infest the colony; here, we get to meet a few new characters, such as colony administrator Al Simpson (Mac McDonald) and Newt’s family, mother Anne (Holly de Jong), father Russ (Jay Benedict), and brother Timmy (Christopher Henn). While there’s a case to be made that the addition of these scenes escalates the timeline of the film somewhat (it’s not entirely clear how long passes between the alien ship being discovered and Ripley being drafted into the marines, but it seems like mere hours), I think it’s great to actually see the colonists alive and well and working away completely oblivious to the danger not far from their little outpost. This also gives Cameron the perfect excuse to recreate the Engineer ship from the first movie, and evoke the feeling of dread its crescent shape inspires in the knowing audience; furthermore, we see that Newt’s family were the ones who not only discovered the ship but also brought the infestation to Hadley’s Hope after her father was attacked by a Facehugger. Perhaps most damning of all is the explicit implication that Simpson was ordered to send the Jorden’s out there by the Company, presumably after hearing Ripley’s testimony during her emotional debriefing, thus framing the subsequent alien infestation as less of an inevitability due to the creatures being on the planet and more of a calculated plot by the Company to breed viable subjects for their bio-weapons division.
Everyone underestimates the aliens but Ripley, who knows only too well of the danger they pose.
Rather than focusing on themes of isolation, dread, and mounting horror, Aliens is the story of one traumatised woman facing her nightmares head on and a disregarded threat proving to be a formidable force. I read somewhere once (I forget exactly where) that someone thought it was amusing and ironic that so many Aliens videogames choose to place players in the role of a Colonial Marine considering that they’re kind of depicted as overconfident, unprepared buffoons who are almost completely wiped out by a superior, far more aggressive force. Some have noted that Aliens is an allegory for the Vietnam War, where a heavily armed and superior force was caught off-guard by a technically inferior native army, and the depiction of the marines definitely lends itself to this reading; all of them, to one degree or extreme, are absolutely confident to the point of arrogance that they have the skills, resources, and firepower to overcome any foe based on their training and previous success in the field. Most of them don’t take Ripley’s account of the alien seriously, which is their first mistake, but they’re left virtually defenceless (or, you could say, impotent) when they’re forced to turn in their grenades and explosive rounds, which means they’re easy prey for the aliens. There’s an argument to be made that Aliens reduced the Xenomorph threat somewhat; it went from being the “perfect organism” that “can’t” be killed to a swarm of insectile-like monsters that can be blasted apart with sustained gunfire, but I’d argue that their threat has never been greater than in this film! Yes, the marines have the weapons to gun down countless numbers of the Xenomorphs, but those weapons are finite, for a start, and continuously shown to do more harm than good thanks to the aliens’ acid blood. In the end, while Ripley may have more weapons and options available to her this time around, the sheer number and aggressiveness of the Xenomorphs makes them a force to be reckoned with and all the bravado and macho bullshit in the world means nothing when one of those ugly bastards is baring down to strike. As before, Ripley is extremely adaptable once backed into a corner; she ends up one of the few survivors thanks to her knowledge and level-headedness despite clearly being traumatised, and all the machoism in the world is nothing compared to her inner strength.
In the end, Ripley faces hear fears, saves her “daughter”, and puts her nightmares to rest…for now…
One of the most crucial scenes added to the Special Edition is the revelation that Ripley was a mother this whole time, which adds new layers to her connection with Newt; in the theatrical cut, this is famed as simply a maternal instinct kicking in and it works incredibly well just in that reading but, here, it’s so much more than that. It might have simply been easier for the effects team (and spared Weaver’s modesty) to have her nightmare Chestburster come from her abdomen but it actually ties into these themes of motherhood very well in this context. Ripley’s transformation into a bad-ass action hero is her most basic character arc in the film; faced with the slaughter of the marines and Gorman’s inability to act, Ripley has no choice but to take charge and be proactive and her expertise and survival instinct make her a valuable voice of authority once the survivors are forced to build fortifications against the aliens. Alongside this, she builds a surrogate family with Hicks and Newt, and these arcs converge for the finale; for much of the film, the survivors are concerned with holding out long enough for rescue to arrive but, when Newt is abducted, Ripley’s forced to strap together a flamethrower and a Pulse Rifle to delve into the Alien’s nest and rescue her. This turns Ripley’s final journey into the depths of LV-426 not just into a quest to retrieve her surrogate daughter from the monstrous creatures that have ruined her life, but also into a story of redemption; although she couldn’t have predicted that she’d be stuck in space for nearly sixty years thanks to a biomechanical alpha predator, Ripley is wracked with guilt over having missed out on Amanda’s entire life and determined to atone for this by rescuing Newt. Thus, she comes face-to-face not just with the ultimate manifestation of her trauma and horror but also her thematic parallel: the incredibly impressive and grotesque Xenomorph Queen. Like Ripley, the queen is incredibly protective of her young and seems to understand the threat Ripley poses to her eggs, but she explodes into a rage when Ripley turns her weapons on the eggs, gunning down drones and blasting open the revolting egg sack in a trigger happy fury that would make John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) proud. With the colony on the verge of exploding, Ripley is picked up by Bishop at literally the last second but, just like in the first film, the threat isn’t quite over yet. The queen stows onboard the dropship and makes a dramatic reappearance to rip Bishop in two and hunt down Newt, forcing Ripley to take the controls of a power loader and engage with her foe in one-on-one combat. This is a cathartic moment for Ripley, who was so crippled by her experiences that she had no intention to ever return to LV-426 and is forced to tackle her nightmares head first to overpower and force the queen into an airlock and blast her out into space to finally put her bad dreams to rest…or so it would seem…
The Summary: For me, Aliens is a similar quandary to the first two Terminator films (Cameron, 1984; 1991) in that it’s hard for me to pick which I prefer out of this one and the first one; both are very different films, with the first focusing more on atmospheric dread and mounting horror and the second being far more action-orientated, but they’re both magnificent sci-fi/horror masterpieces in their own right. If you were to put a gun to my head, though, and make me choose, I would pick Aliens every time; I think Aliens is probably my favourite in the entire franchise as well, even though I have a love of love for many of the films and remain a big fan of the franchise to this day despite the most recent efforts. The action-orientated approach definitely helps with that, especially when I first watched it as a kid; it really helped me to overcome the terror I felt watching the original film to see the Xenomorphs being blasted to shreds and in a more vulnerable light, but the film never positions them as an inferior force and they remain an aggressive and horrifying threat through their sheer tenacity, ferocity, and surprising intelligence. As I got older and more experienced, and turned my focus towards academic studies, my love and appreciate for Aliens only grew; now, the themes of motherhood and family and a technically superior force being overwhelmed because of their ill-preparedness and arrogance make the film just as engaging and impactful as its incredible practical effects. More me, Aliens is a quintessential example of just how powerful and realistic animatronics and suits can be to a film and the techniques on display here have more than stood the test of time to make it just as impressive now as it was back then. Moreover, Aliens forever changed the lore and focus of the franchise; not only would Lance Henricksen be forever associated with the franchise but from this point on, subsequent films, spin-offs, and media would continuously return to the idea of a group of well-armed marines combatting the aliens or utilise the Xenomorph Queen as the final threat and I think, even now, Aliens is probably the main reason why the franchise has had such a long life since it was able to capture a wider audience with its greater focus on action horror.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
Are you a fan of Aliens? What did you think to the additional scenes added to the Special Edition? Which of the marines was your favourite and why? What did you think to the addition of the Xenomorph Queen to the lore? Were you a fan of Ripley’s story arc here, her transformation into an action hero and surrogate mother? What did you think to the greater malevolence placed upon the Company? Which of the Alien movies is your favourite and why, and how are you celebrating Alien Day this year? Whatever your thoughts, feel free to sign up and leave them below or drop a comment on my social media. Stay frosty!
In April 1985, the first issue of the ground-breaking Crisis on Infinite Earths(Wolfman, et al, 1986) released and saw the temporary destruction of the “Multiverse”. To celebrate this momentous event, I’m discussing multiversal crossovers all throughout April in an event I dubbed “Crossover Crisis”.
Released: 25 December 2007 Director: The Brothers Strause Distributor: 20th Century Fox Budget: $40 million Stars: Steven Pasquale, Ian Whyte, Johnny Lewis, Reiko Aylesworth, Kristen Hager, and Tom Woodruff Jr.
The Plot: Following the last clash between Xenomorph and Predator, a “Predalien” (Woodruff Jr.) hybrid begins a bloody rampage in a small Colorado town. While former convict Dallas Howard (Rasquale), his troublesome younger brother Ricky (Lewis), and soldier Kelly O’Brien (Aylesworth) desperately try to survive as their town is overrun with viscous alien drones, a lone Predator, “Wolf” (Whyte), is dispatched to remove all traces of the creatures from the town by any means necessary.
The Background: Starting life in the pages of Dark Horse Comics with a three-issue short story courtesy of writer Chris Warner, the Aliens vs. Predator concept quickly expanded into multiple follow-up stories, an expansive toy line, and videogames. After a lengthy stint in Development Hell in which notable figureheads from the Alien franchise (Various, 1977 to present) openlycriticised a crossover between the two horror icons, Paul W. S. Anderson won over the studio with his pitch and turned a tidy profit with AVP: Alien vs. Predator (ibid, 2004). Though the film was subjected to largelynegativereviews, brothers Colin and Greg Strause were brought in to helm a follow-up, having previously unsuccessfully pitched a similar crossover and making a mark in Hollywood with their work as visual effects supervisors. Excited at the prospect on working on such a film, the two insisted that the bulk of the film’s effects were achieved practically, with CGI being used sparingly to render alien spacecraft, the more elaborate sets, and to bolster the practical effects wherever possible. Amalgamated Dynamics, Inc. created the monstrous Predalien suit, which incorporated visually recognisable aspects of both species and was brought to life using an animatronic head and practical suit. Despite the brothers’ attention to detail and clear love of both franchises, and making a respectable $130.2 million worldwide gross, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem failed to impress critics: many have cited it as one of the worst films in either franchise and critics dismissed the film as a mindless, violent mess akin to a videogame that suffered from dull human characters and poor lighting. While some were impressed by the film, especially compared to the first one, plans for another movie was indefinitely suspended and fans would have to settle for the 2010 videogame as a quasi-third entry as both franchises have continued onseparately on the silver screen.
The Review: As a big fan of both the Alien and Predator franchises, and of their crossover comic books and videogames, I was left pretty disappointed with the first AVP film. While I believe that the premise of pitting these two iconic extraterrestrial monsters against each other has a lot of potential, and should be a license to print money, the execution of their long-awaited clash fell flat thanks to a by-the-numbers, toothless effort on behalf of all involved. Despite some decent practical effects and an interesting expansion of the Predator lore, the film just played things far too safe and couldn’t live up to either the standards of its predecessors or the expectations set by other meetings between the two. Unfortunately, AVP: R had a bit of a mountain to climb in that regard as many audiences went into it with low expectations after the last film and because it picks up immediately where AVP left off, meaning the entire film beyond the opening sequence is set on then-modern-day Earth. And in the suburbs, no less! While I’ll never agree with the decision to set the conflict between the two creatures on Earth in the mid-2000s rather than in the far future and on another world, at least AVP: R doesn’t shy away from the gore and immediately delivers something new by quickly accelerating the birth of Scar’s (Whyte) progeny and bringing to life a truly gruesome Alien/Predator hybrid, the Predalien.
Sadly, AVP: R falters with its human characters, who are far too generic to make an impression.
After slaughtering the Predator’s on their shuttle and causing it to crash-land in the forests of Gunnison, Colorado, the Predalien immediately sets about establishing a nest for itself in the sewers under the town, while the ship’s payload of Facehuggers gets to work impregnating the unsuspecting townsfolk…including a little boy, showing that AVP: R really isn’t pulling any punches compared to the last film. One of the things I criticised about the first film was the strength and quality of its cast; however, at least AVP had Colin Salmon and Lance Henricksen to add some gravitas to the proceedings. AVP: R is completely robbed of this benefit, giving us a cast of no-name television actors who struggle to offer any kind of dimension or intrigue to the largely expendable human characters. The film ties to focus itself around Ricky, a normal, everyday high schooler who works a shitty job, is the target of farcical jock-like bullies, and pines after the unreasonably attractive Jesse Salinger (Hager). I guess we’re supposed to like and connect with Ricky because he’s just a regular kid, but he’s basically just every semi-rebellious, resentful teenager you’ve ever seen. While he’s not very appealing by himself, I ironically didn’t mind the relationship between him and his older, far more interesting brother, Dallas. A former convict with a no-nonsense attitude who’s trying to turn his life around, Dallas might be burdened by desperate attempts to make him appealing (he’s a rugged ex-con, he shares his name with Tom Skerritt’s Alien character, he shares an awkward flirtation with Kelly, and he even gets the iconic “Get to the chopper!” line) but at least he demonstrates a brief glimmer of character through his practical, if blunt, solutions to the escalating horror. Kelly is shoehorned into the mandatory “tough female protagonist” role made synonymous with the Alien films by Lieutenant Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver); sadly, like Lex Woods (Sanaa Lathan) before her, Kelly struggles in this role; she’s not nearly dynamic or captivating enough to be a strong female protagonist, despite her being given a layer of vulnerability and maternal appeal in her strained relationship with her young daughter, Molly (Gade). Kelly is barely seen processing the death of her husband, Tim (Sam Trammell), before she’s flirting with ex-cons and blasting shotguns and Xenomorphs and it seems she’s primarily there in a half-hearted attempt to call-back to the far ore memorable Ripley and to have someone in the group who can pilot them to safety in the finale.
Gunnison is caught not just between the Aliens and Predator but the rampage of the monstrous hybrid.
Gunnison is naturally a central focus of the film; the Xenomorphs nest and rampage through the town and its inhabitants are picked off and impregnated by them for the first half of the film, with the town’s homeless and gung-ho hunters particularly suffering in the early going. Law and order is maintained in the town by Sheriff Eddie Morales (John Ortiz), a childhood friend of Dallas’s and former problem child himself who makes efforts to help him get his life back on track but who’s soon overwhelmed by the sudden invasion of bloodthirsty biomechanical monstrosities. Completely out of his depth, Morales calls in the National Guard (who are promptly slaughtered) and desperately radios for military aid; however, he refuses to heed Dallas and Kelly’s advice that Colonel Stevens (Robert Joy) is misleading them with the promise of an air evacuation and therefore dooms himself and his posse, who are so terrified that they’re focused only on escaping rather than using rational thought. Gunnison is also home to some disreputable characters; bullies Dale Collins (David Paetkau), Mark (Matt Ward), and Nick (Michal Suchánek) give Ricky more than his fair share of grief, with Dale beating him in the street for giving him backchat and eyeing up his girl, Jesse. Despite their differences, they’re forced to band together when they’re attack by a Xenomorph in the school pool and hunted through the school corridors, with the bullies soon paying for their misguided machismo. For all the focus AVP: R puts on the mutual attraction between Ricky and Jesse, it’s absolutely brutal when she is unceremoniously cut in half by Wolf’s shuriken-like Smart Disc; her death is so spontaneous that it’s both shocking and amusing and indicates just how much more ruthless AVP: R is compared to its predecessor. However, nowhere is this more evident when the Predalien stalks through a maternity ward at the local hospital, where it uses its proboscis to lay a bunch of Chestbursters into the bellies of the pregnant women in there! While this kind of cruelty may understandable frowned upon by some, I’m actually a big fan of shock value and AVP: R certainly delivers in that regard thanks to being unapologetically gory and violent.
Wolf comes to clean up the Alien infestation and proves to be the film’s most interesting character.
Similar to the last film, and true to the nature of the concept, the Predator takes an active role as an anti-hero throughout the film’s events, however I’d argue that Wolf is such a presence here that he’s almost portrayed as the film’s primary character. After the Predator shuttle crashes and the Facehuggers and Predalien escape into the wild, Wolf picks up the signal (giving us our first live-action glimpse of the Predator home world) and immediately sets out to contain the outbreak. An accomplished hunter and veteran, Wolf is far more capable and experienced compared to the rookies seen in the last film; carrying the acid scars on his face and missing a mandible, Wolf is portrayed as something of a “cleaner” and damage control for unwanted or unsanctioned Xenomorph infestations, but comes across more like a detective in his investigation of the crash site, which sees him arm himself with two shoulder cannons, and his meticulous destruction of all traces of either species using a corrosive blue goop. Though largely surreptitious and focused on this mission, Wolf does stray to partake in a little hunting, recreating scenes from Predator when interrupted by the Gunnison search party in the forest (actually skinning his victims rather than just stringing them up as in the last film) and bringing undue attention to himself by causing a blackout when picking off Xenomorph’s at the town power plant. However, humans are of little interest to this Predator, meaning we’re thankfully spared any awkward and cheesy team ups between Wolf and Dallas; indeed, Wolf is largely nonplussed when the townsfolk get caught in the crossfire between him and his prey and he’s perfectly happy to blast their heads off if it means containing the outbreak. Sporting all the tried-and-true weapons and tactics associated with the alien hunter, Wolfe is given the tactical and technological edge that the humans sorely lack; he can view multiple spectrums and review recorded footage from his fallen comrades using his helmet, has all the tools and toys of his predecessors (but with two shoulder cannons), and is far more adept at dealing with Xenomorphs than any other Predator we’ve seen before.
Led by the grotesque Predalien, the Xenomorphs swarm through the sleepy, unassuming town.
As before, the Xenomorphs are portrayed as being more stereotypically and recognisably “bad” compared to Wolf, who’s firmly entrenched as a bad-ass anti-hero. Alien acid severs limbs and melts faces, and Facehuggers and scurrying to the sewers to set up a nest. The fully-grown Xenomorphs seem largely unfazed at their urban settings, easily skulking through town in the dead of night to pick off victims and being framed in a suffocating, near constant darkness that really helps to add to their terror (when you can actually see them, that is). In a nice change of pace, AVP: R doesn’t rely on the cliché of a Xenomorph Queen and instead has the creatures directed by a far more mobile and altogether more versatile and horrifying alpha, the Predalien. A hulking, drooling nightmarish mish-mash of Alien and Predator biology, the Predalien is framed very much like the original Xenomorph drone (Bolaji Badejo) and a figure of disgusting, uncomfortable sexually-charged horror rather than some disposable, squealing drone. Although I often think of the Predalien as being a masculine counterpart to the Alien Queen, it’s actually an asexual creature, able to impregnate multiple Chestbursters directly into a host using its proboscis. Not only does the Predalien sport the mandibles and dreadlocks of a Predator but it also rips the spines out of its prey much like the alien hunter; seen as an abomination by Wolf, the two have a deep-rooted instinctual hatred of one another and their inevitable conflict is so brutal that it would be a fight to the death even without the impending threat of nuclear destruction.
The Nitty-Gritty: AVP: R tends to get a bad name primarily because of its poor lighting; when I went to see it in the cinema, I don’t remember it being that dark or difficult to make out what’s happening but it’s hard to deny that sections of the film are all-but impossible to see since they’re bathed in a pitch-black darkness. On the one hand, I don’t actually mind this; it recalls the dark atmospheric horror of the first Alien film and returns these creatures to their roots as frightening monsters rather than lessening their threat through over exposure, however I think the Brothers Strause went a little too far into the dark, perhaps in an attempt to keep the film from upsetting the censors by adding unnecessary monster horror to its gore, swearing, and violence. Fiddling with your TV settings and the lighting in your home can improve things, for sure, but it’s a shame that so much of the film, suits, and brutality is lost to this impenetrable blackness. Unlike the last film, AVP: R is unapologetically R-rated; characters swear throughout the film and blood and gore are far more prevalent, bringing the film more in line with the standards set by previous entries in the series. As alluded to, this also can be taken as a detriment as the Brothers Strause go super dark by having Chestbursters burst out of children and pregnant women, but these films have always had some uncomfortable gory scenes and I’m certainly not going to complain about this considering how toothless the first AVP film was. I also have to commend the Brothers Strause for their clear affection for the source material; this is evident right from the start, where the film’s credits are a mixture of both franchise’s fonts and the ambient sound is a mash-up of the classic motion tracker beeping and the Predator’s thermal vision, and the amalgamation of the franchises continues to be felt throughout the film in Brian Tyler’s score.
The increased focus on gore and recreating both franchise’s atmospheres is very much appreciated.
As ever, the main appeal of the film are the practical effects used to bring both species to life; again, this is why the low lighting is such a drawback as the Aliens finally include their most memorable design (the rigged skull variant from the second film) and we never really get a decent look at the Predalien thanks to the all-encompassing darkness and wash of rain throughout the movie. Still, the suits, puppets, and animatronics are as good as they’ve ever been and sometimes benefit from the darkness; Wolf sticks very closely to the classic Predator look defined in the first two films, though with a more visually interesting helmet and sporting the battle scars of his many hunts. The cloaking effect is much improved this time around, as are the CGI blasts used to represent his shoulder cannon projectiles, both of which harken back to the first two films and Wolf even uses the trajectory tracking system seen in the first Predator. Best of all, his face more resembles the classic Stan Winston design rather than the butt-ugly travesty we saw in AVP, and we get an all-too-brief glimpse of the Predator home world, a searing hot planet of ancient pyramids and structures that just cries out to be revisited in more detail some time, and the additional toys Wolf gets to play with. Wolf has the spear and the gauntlets but also has little mapping devices that double as laser traps he to cover his back and cut down any Xenomorphs, he can charge up his gauntlet to burst through solid concrete, has a slick razor-sharp whip, and he’s also easily powerful and adept enough to hold multiple Xenomorphs off at once. The Aliens not only have their signature squeal, but we also get to see them feeding on human brains; they’re also slimier and more grotesque than ever, though none more so than the Predalien. This thing is absolutely abhorrent to look at, drooling and stomping about with a real weight. In many ways, it reminds me of the Newborn (Tom Woodruff Jr./Joan La Barbara/Archie Hahn) in that it’s an even more monstrous variant of one of cinema’s classic creatures, though the Predalien enforces its will far more aggressively than the Queen, striking Xenomorphs when they try to eat or act before it and slashing at its victims with its huge claw-like hands and prehensile tail.
Sadly, the brawl is interrupted by a nuke that kills the town and puts an end to the alien threat.
Many of the human survivors are whittled down in their efforts to arm themselves thanks to Wolf using them as bait and picking them off simply for being armed; the National Guard and absolutely massacred by the Xenomorphs as well, and the remaining survivors split up after disagreeing about Colonel Steven’s evacuation plan. Colonel Stevens directs the survivors to the centre of town on the pretence of an evacuation but it’s actually to ensure that the Aliens all congregate on ground zero of his tactical nuclear strike, which obliterates the entire town and all traces of the alien infestation save for Wolf’s shoulder blaster. Before the town is destroyed, however, Dallas, Kelly, Molly, and a wounded Ricky fight their way to the roof of the town hospital (which has been partially converted into a horrific Alien nest) to get to the helicopter and escape the incoming blast in tense scenes awash in darkness and flickering lights that recall Ripley’s desperate last-minute escapes as much as Kelly’s drive through the wrecked streets calls back to Ripley’s rescue of the Colonial Marines in their armoured transports. Barely able to fend off the skulking Xenomorphs with their weapons, Dallas covers their escape by wielding Wolf’s repurposed shoulder cannon, but ultimately it comes down to a one-on-one, hand-to-hand slugfest between Wolf and the Predalien. This takes place on the rooftop of the hospital, in the dead of night, and amidst a torrential downpour with their destruction an inarguable guarantee since we know Stevens has a missile inbound. And yet, as in the last film, actually seeing the Predator go at it with the Aliens and that horrific hybrid are the highlight of the film despite the low lighting; overpowered by the Predalien and ready to fight to the death, Wolf discards his weapons and battles his rival in a test of strength that sees him rip out its inner mouth, stab it through the head, and be left impaling on its spear-like tail. Unfortunately, Wolf is incinerated along with his foe and the entire town by Stevens’ missile; although our human protagonists escape, the shockwave causes their helicopter to crash and they’re apprehended by military police shortly afterwards. In the aftermath, Colonel Stevens recovers Wolf’s damage cannon from Dallas and presents it to Ms. Yutani (Françoise Yip) of the Yutani Corporation, awkwardly implying that they were somehow able to reverse-engineer enough technology from this one weapon to eventually become a universe-spanning colonising force alongside the Weyland Industries some two-hundred years in the future.
The Summary: I’m a firm believer that AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem isn’t as bad as people make it out to be, but also that it still has plenty of undeniable flaws that keep it from being classified as under-rated and which also make me hesitate to rate it much higher. I’ve always enjoyed that the film veers back to the horror atmosphere that popularised each franchise; the swearing, blood, gore, and shocking violence all make quite an impact and make this film the extreme other end of the spectrum compared to the first AVP movie. I also enjoy Wolf’s character and presence throughout the film; in many ways, I almost wish that we’d followed him more as he’s far more interesting a character than any of the disposable humans, but I would be surprised if we ever saw something like that in a live-action movie. I also really enjoyed the Prealien; as much as I love the Xenomorph Queen, she’s very played out and it’s nice when the franchise uses a similar concept but in a different, uniquely grotesque way and the Predalien is such a striking character design and vicious concept that it really helps to up the ante in a more visceral way. In these regards, AVP: R is worlds better than its predecessor; the tone, presentation, and atmosphere are far more in line with what I expect from each franchise and I would choose to watch this one out of the two on any day of the week…but sadly it’s still a mess of a movie. The film’s just way too dark, there’s no denying it; some scenes are just a blank screen of darkness with the vaguest hint of movement and the sounds of gnashing, slobbering teeth, and the impressive practical effects are almost entirely lost in this death shroud. Furthermore, the characters and setting are just awful; an urban environment might be something different from the franchise but a present-day setting just doesn’t work for this concept and the lack of any strong, recognisable faces and human protagonists means it’s almost impossible to give a damn when they’re in danger or die. Overall, this was a step in the right direction in many ways but the execution again fell short of the mark; it’s a shame that we probably won’t see a proper Aliens versus Predator film set in space and in the future and that we’re left with these two largely disappointing live-action adaptations as the premise has so much potential but the studio clearly didn’t have faith to put the money and effort behind it so we’re left with these sub-par efforts that really could’ve, and should’ve, been much better.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
Are you a fan of AVPR: Aliens vs. Predator – Requiem? How do you think it compares to the first film and other films in each franchise? Were you disappointed that it continued the modern-day setting? Did the poor lighting and shock value of the gore and horror bother you? Which of the humans was your favourite? What did you think to Wolf and his mission to erase all traces of the Aliens? Were you a fan of the Prealien or do you find it to be a little too unrealistic? Which of the Aliens vs. Predator stories or adaptations was your favourite? Would you like to see the two cross paths again in some form or another? Whatever you think aboutAlien vs. Predator, leave a comment down below or share your thoughts on my social media.
In April of 1940, about a year after the debut of arguably their most popular character, Bruce Wayne/Batman, DC Comics debuted “the sensational find of [that year]”, Dick Grayson/Robin. Since then, Batman’s pixie-boots-wearing partner has changed outfits and a number of different characters have assumed the mantle as the Dynamic Duo of Batman and Robin have become an iconic staple of DC Comics. Considering my fondness for the character and those who assumed the mantle over the years, what better way to celebrate this dynamic debut than to dedicate every Thursday of April to celebrating the character?
Released: 27 July 2018 Director: Peter Rida Michail and Aaron Horvath Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures Budget: $10 million Stars: Scott Menville, Hynden Walch, Khary Payton, Tara Strong, Greg Cipes, Will Arnett, Kristen Bell, and Nicolas Cage
The Plot: Determined to be a Hollywood star, Dick Grayson/Robin (Menville) will go to any lengths to impress director Jade Wilson (Bell) to notice him and his team! With a few madcap ideas and musical numbers, the Teen Titans try to take the limelight, but when Slade Wilson/Deathstroke the Terminator (Arnett) messes with their plans, the Teen Titans will have to become true superheroes to save the world!
The Background: About four years after the debut of the Justice League of America (JLA), their teen sidekicks came together to form the Teen Titans, presumably to appeal to younger readers. The team were a relatively consistent presence throughout the 1960s and 1970s but writer Marv Wolfman and George Pérez breathed new life into the concept with characters like Victor Stone/Cyborg and Princess Koriand’r/Starfire, who became synonymous with the team. No strangers to adaptation, the Teen Titans have seen some success in animated ventures; Teen Titans (2003 to 2006) was widely regarded as a popular spin-off of the incredibly well-regarded animated series pioneered by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini. Many long-term fans were therefore put off when the show was retooled into a more kid-friendly aesthetic with the slapstick Teen Titans Go! (2013 to 2022), though many praised the show for its bizarre nature and light-hearted humour. Additionally, the show was popular enough to spawn this feature-length production; universally praised for its metatextual comedy, its gleeful destruction of superhero tropes, and its unhinged comedy, Teen Titans Go! To the Movies also gave finally star Nicolas Cage the chance to portray Clark Kent/Superman after missing out on a live-action appearance in the nineties. With a box office gross of $52.1 million, the film was followed by a reasonably well received straight-to-DVD crossover between the Go! Titans and their more serious predecessors, as well as a couple of other similar features of varyingquality.
The Review: So, like a lot of kids my age, I watched a fair amount of Bruce Timm and Paul Dini’s DC cartoons back in the day; even into my late teenage years, I was enjoying Justice League Unlimited (2004 to 2006), and I really enjoyed the original Teen Titans cartoon. Although never explicitly stated to be a part of the same fictional universe, I always liked to think that Teen Titans was a spin-off from the main DC Animated Universe and I loved how it gave a bit of a gritty edge and a commanding presence to one of my favourite characters, Robin, and allowed him to be in the spotlight in a world where he’s oftengiven the shaft in live-action movies. I’d be lying if seeing Teen Titans Go! for the first time wasn’t a little off-putting for me in this regard; however, it was clearly aimed at a younger audience and I found it to be quite funny the few times I did watch it, the same as Batman: The Brave and the Bold (2008 to 2011), which showcased a more light-hearted version of the Dark Knight but in a fun and action-packed way. There is room for both interpretations of these characters, as much as I prefer the darker interpretations as they’re truer to the original spirit of Batman and his world, and it’s not as if there weren’t other animated ventures that showcased this side of the likes of Batman and Robin, so it was still pretty exciting when a feature-length presentation was announced, especially as it aimed to poke fun at Warner Bros.’ tumultuous history with cashing in on their DC Comics franchises.
The happy-go-lucky Titans are distraught to learn the public and their peers see them as bumbling fools.
Things get off to a loud and action-packed start as Jump City is attacked by the megalomaniacal supervillain known as Balloon Man (Greg Davies), a ludicrous character who is quite literally a gigantic, anthropomorphic balloon who can easily smash his way into a bank and squeeze through small gaps by expanding and contracting his bulbous body. Although Jump City’s police are no match for the inflated villain, the Teen Titans soon arrive to help out; what follows is a fight scene, set to an electric guitar remix of the Teen Titans Go! main theme, that helps to establish the characters and abilities of the titular team for those who are unfamiliar. Robin is the leader, jumping head-first into the fight and partially tearing Balloon Man’s hide with his shuriken; Cyborg (Payton) is the enthusiastic muscle, able to transform his body into all kinds of heavy ordinance; Starfire (Walch) is a naïve, childlike misfit from another world who wields incredible cosmic power but is easily distracted by cute things; Rachel Roth/Raven (Strong) is the dark, stoic enchantress capable of manipulating others and creating constructs out of a black magical energy; and Garfield “Gar” Logan/Beast Boy (Cipes) is the team’s goofball shape-shifter, who delights in monkeying around and transforming into a range of green-hued animals (including becoming a porcupine to pierce Balloon Man’s butt for an extended fart gag). So consumed by their own hype are the team that they completely miss that the Justice League – Superman (Cage), Diana Prince/Wonder Woman (Halsey), and Jon Stewart/Green Lantern (Lil Yachty) – take out Balloon Man and are saddened to learn that both the public, and the superhero community, see them as a team of goofballs rather than “real” superheroes worthy of their own movies. Despite the fact that people “don’t talk” about Green Lantern’s movie, Superman advises the team that they’ll never be seen as anything other than a joke unless they shape up and start acting like real heroes rather than goofing off for food and dance numbers. Despite the evidence lobbied against them, Robin is adamant that he and his friends are not only world-renowned heroes but worthy of their own movie; it’s been his lifelong dream to have his own movie franchise, after all, and he’s determined to prove that he’s worthy of this accolade.
Robin’s so determined to get his own movie that he briefly messes up with the timeline.
Unfortunately, he and his friends are aghast to learn that they’re not on the list to attend the premiere of Batman’s (Jimmy Kimmel) newest film, and even more insulted when the Challengers of the Unknown, of all people, are more known than they are. Thanks to Raven’s ability to teleport them using her extradimensional portals, the team are able to gate crash the screening and steal the Challengers’ seats, introducing them to beloved superhero movie director Jade Wilson. Robin is dejected to see first-hand that he’s not only not slated to appear in a movie, but that the entire superhero community laughs him off as simply a sidekick and a nobody. After dispelling Robin’s depression with a musical number, the team head to Warner Bros. Studios in Hollywood, determined to demand that they get their own movie from Jade. Unfortunately, she’s not interested in the prospect of a solo Robin movie and states that she would only consider it if there were no other superheroes in the world, a dismissive comment that gives him the outrageous idea to travel through time to prevent the world’s superheroes from ever coming into being using their time cycles (because their regular time machine is too “boring”). Thus, the team prevents Krypton’s destruction (using disco-synth, no less), stealing Wonder Woman’s magical lasso when she’s just a girl, cause Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Eric Bauza) to get caught up in trash and drown as a baby, prevent four turtles from coming into contact with radioactive ooze, and redirect Thomas, Martha, and young Bruce Wayne (Kal-El Cage) from going down Crime Alley. As you might expect, this results in the world being overrun by supervillains in the present day and therefore no superhero movies being produced, so the Teen Titans immediately travel back to undo their efforts…resulting in them being directly responsible for Krypton’s destruction and gleefully pushing Thomas and Martha Wayne to their deaths with a smile and a thumbs-up!
Slade’s master plan to control the world brings him into conflict with the Teen Titans.
Since rewriting the space/time continuum did nothing to improve their standing in the superhero community, the Teen Titans resolve to prove themselves the old-fashioned way. Earlier, the others suggested to Robin that they’re not taken seriously because they lack a cool archnemesis with an ominous name and they attempt to address this by confronting Deathstroke (as ever referred to simply as “Slade”) as he steals “the perfect plot device”, the Ditronium Crystal, from Scientific and Technological Advanced Research Laboratories (S.T.A.R. Labs). A bombastic villain who mocks the Teen Titans pose and easily tricks them with simple illusions and distractions, Slade is nonetheless fully capable of holding the team off using only his skill, weapons, and vast array of gadgets. Still, by taking themselves seriously, the team is able to retrieve the crystal on their second encounter, but Slade easily escapes by preying on Robin’s ego and painting himself as his archnemesis. Incensed at their interference, Slade vows to divide the team to take away their greatest advantage, something made considerably easier when jade summons the team to Warner Bros. Studios, impressed by their fight, to start shooting their movie. However, when the others embarrass him by repeatedly pooping in a prop toilet, attacking their co-star and subduing Superman with Kryptonite, causing havoc, and almost destroying her Digitally Ordering Online Movies Streaming Directly At You (D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y.) Device (Phil Morris), Robin angrily ditches his friends in order to have his own solo movie and shake the stigma of their idiocy from his character. Heartbroken at his decision, especially after they supported his dream all throughout the movie, the team leave him to indulge his greatest fantasies on the set of his very own movie, finally bringing him the adulation he has craved for so long, though all the digital enhancements and action sequences in the world can’t make up for the loss of his friends.
The Nitty-Gritty: I gather there are a lot of people who dislike the art and animation style of shows like Teen Titans Go!; many comparisons are made to the likes of Steven Universe (2013 to 2019), though I’m not sure why that’s a bad thing as, while I’ve never watched it, I always thought the show was quite popular. Again, it’s potentially because of the nostalgia and love for Timm and Dini’s traditionally dark and moody visual style, and the anime influences seen in the original Teen Titans, but I thought the change in visual direction was a great way to immediately show that Teen Titans Go! is aimed at a completely different audience to its predecessor, and enjoyed the presentation because it, like some of the line-towing humour, reminded me of TheRen & Stimpy Show (1991 to 1996; 2003). Jump City is a bright maze of skyscrapers and beaches, its inhabitants all sport comically oversized heads and cartoonish proportions, and much of the allure of the movie’s visual style comes from the short, sharp movements characters make that remind me of traditional animation techniques such those using construction paper. The movie’s tongue-in-cheek approach is also evident right from the start, as DC’s heroes are chibi-fied in the opening credits to fit with the show’s more exaggerated art style; the movie even appears to ape the traditional Marvel Studios opening by rapidly flicking through pages of Teen Titans comics, only to subvert expectations and show that it’s simply a seagull flicking through a comic book! In this cartoonish world, the DC superheroes are such huge celebrities that they have their own merchandise and movie franchises, just like in the real world, with even the grim Dark Knight playing up to the paparazzi at the premiere of his new film, Batman Again, and heroes like Kara Zor-El/Supergirl (Meredith Salenger) and even Doctor Raymond “Ray” Palmer/The Atom (Patton Oswold) being treated as Hollywood starlets.
The movie is jam packed with references, cameos, and fun musical numbers.
This is taken to the nth level when we see just how many superheroes are being given feature-films and the lengths to which Hollywood is going to milk Batman’s popularity with movies about his loyal butler, Alfred Pennyworth, his high-tech vehicle, the Batmobile, and even his utility belt! Although a hilarious gag at the time, and with some basis in truth given how much Batman content had been produced by 2018, this lands even harder now considering Alfred received his own live-action television series and we even got a Cars-like (Various, 2006 to 2022) Batmobile cartoon! Even the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device is a precursor to the stranglehold over the genre that Marvel Studios would get with the onset of Disney+, making the film scarily ahead of its time in its metacommentary. The film also stands out with its fourth-wall-breaking humour; this includes jabs not only at existing DC properties, but also gags like the Teen Titans mistaken Slade for Wade W. Wilson/Deadpool, a parody of the iconic opening of The Lion King (Allers and Minkoff, 1994), references to one of my favourite cartoons, Animaniacs (1993 to 1998; 2020 to present), Superman(Donner, 1978) and the Tim Burton Batman movies (1989; 1992), and the Back to the Futuretrilogy (Zemeckis, 1985 to 1990), a gratuitous and self-referential cameo by Stan Lee himself, a fantastic jab at the whole “Martha!” debacle during the filming of Batman vs. Superman: Part II by having the two come to blows because their fathers have different names, and having Robin’s team mates embarrass him when they kick the crap out of Shia LaBeouf (James Arnold Taylor). Musical numbers also play a huge role here; we get our first taste of this when Balloon Man insults and shocks the group by claiming not to know who they are (he thinks they’re “lesser members” of the Justice League of the Guardians of the Galaxy), leading to them performing a rap number running down their names, powers, and a bit of their background (“GO!”). Unfortunately, they get so wrapped up in their singing and dancing that they’re completely upstaged by the Justice League. Struggling with his sense of self-worth and disheartened at being mocked by everyone, even the team’s adorable hand-crafted movie fails to cheer Robin up; it takes an amusingly generic “upbeat, inspirational song” to reignite Robin’s spark and renew his enthusiasm (“Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life”). Additionally, Robin’s able to describe his perfect solo superhero through song, resulting in a montage and homages to Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (Miller, et al, 1986), Batman: The Animated Series (1992 to 1995) specifically designed to emphasise Robin’s competency, cute butt, and totally adult hands (“My Superhero Movie”). When the Teen Titans travel through time to take out their competition, the sequence is brilliantly set to A-ha’s “Take On Me” and Huey Lewis and the News’s “Back in Time”, they play Krypton’s crystals like a DJ deck to prevent the decidedly Donner-esque planet from exploding, and Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, and Beast Boy get themselves kicked out of their own movie by pulling pranks all over the Warner Bros. Studio (“Shenanigans”).
In the end, the Titans come together to defeat Slade and earn the respect of their superhero peers.
Robin is so caught up in finally getting his time in the spotlight, away from the shadow of the Batman and the goofiness of his teammates, that he doesn’t even question Jade’s motivations or inputting the code to the vault as part of his movie’s finale. All too late, he realises that he’s been tricked into opening the actual vault and that Jade has been Slade in disguise all along in a surprising, and amusing, twist. Thanks to his manipulations as Jade, Slade has effectively subdued the Justice League by distracting them with their movies, leaving him free to steal the Ditronium Crystal, insert it into the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device, and control the minds of the world’s populace as part of a diabolical scheme for world domination. Thanks to his baby hands and Bat-gadgets, Robin is able to escape the exploding Titans Tower; seeing his home and his friends’ possessions go up in smoke makes him realise how selfish and foolish he’s been but his friends enthusiastically return to his side to aid him in stopping the broadcast of Robin: The Movie to prevent Slade’s plans from coming to fruition. After unmasking Slade before their superhero peers, the Teen Titans are forced to battle the Justice League when Slade uses the D.O.O.M.S.D.A.Y. Device to turn them into his mindless slaves; thanks to a golf cart and Raven’s portal abilities, they’re able to take the Justice League out of the equation but, when Robin engages Slade in a one-on-one fight, Robin’s unable to resist watching footage of his film and is compelled to attack his friends. Robin’s brought to his senses when forced to watch the remainder of the homemade film the Titans made for him, reuniting the team in friendship just in time to battle Slade’s ridiculously oversized robot! Although Slade mocks them and boasts at his invincibility, Robin realises that their greatest asset is their goofball antics and they’re able to take out Slade’s robot using another of their dope songs (“GO! (Battle Remix)”) and an overwhelming combination of their unique powers and abilities. With the world freed from Slade’s control, the Ditronium Crystal destroyed, and Slade defeated, the Teen Titans finally earn the approval and respect of their peers, though Robin’s denied the chance to deliver a meaningful speech as everyone else insists that the movie’s over.
The Summary: Teen Titans Go! To the Movies is a ridiculously over the top, slapstick romp in this exaggerated and cartoonish spin-off of the darker DC Animated Universe. Everything from the visuals, the gags, and the action is designed to appeal to younger audiences, ones who will delight at the instances of toilet humour and the fun music numbers, yet there’s a fair amount here for older audiences to enjoy as well. From cameos, references to other movies and DC properties, and some surprisingly dark inclusions that might go over the heads of little kids but had my spitting out my drink at times. The overriding narrative of the Teen Titans trying to earn respect for being superheroes is done pretty well, and wisely focuses on Robin’s obsession with being seen as more than a sidekick and worthy of his own movie, though the film doesn’t dwell too much on the wedge this causes between him and his friends. Similarly, the time travel side plot was primarily there as a gag, a funny one to be sure but one immediately undone to focus on the campaign against Slade. I would’ve liked to see the Teen Titans realise their worth in a world without the other superheroes, but it was fun seeing Slade mock them and wipe the floor with them and be revealed to have been disguised as Jade all along. While there isn’t much here for the other Teen Titans to do beyond be goofy, say their catchphrases, and sing and fight alongside Robin, the metacommentary on the influx of superhero movies was amusing and I found myself thoroughgoingly entertained through the film. I always enjoy it when animated movies sprinkle their narratives with little Easter Eggs for adults to enjoy and Teen Titans Go! To the Movies certainly succeeds in this regard, and with including some genuinely funny gags that keep the energy high, resulting in a very enjoyable animated romp.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4 out of 5.
Great Stuff
Did you enjoy Teen Titans Go! To the Movies? Were you a fan of the cartoon or did the move towards slapstick put you off? Which member of the team was your favourite and what did you think to Robin’s desire to be taken seriously as a superhero? Did you enjoy the musical numbers and the sprinklings of dark humour laced throughout? What s your favourite incarnation of the Teen Titans? Who is your favourite Robin and how are you celebrating the Boy Wonder’s debut this month? Whatever your thoughts on this film, Teen Titans, and Robin, leave a comment either below or on my social media.
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