For me, the Console Wars extended well past the 16-bit era of videogaming. Unlike a lot of my friends, I did not have the income to justify doubling down so, while they were all off playing PlayStation and PlayStation 2 while alsoa playing Nintendo 64, I stuck with the Nintendo 64 and GameCube since SEGA were no longer in the business of making consoles. As previously detailed, this means that I didn’t have much exposure to Resident Evil (Capcom, 1996 to present) apart from the Nintendo 64 port of Resident Evil 2 (ibid/Rockstar San Diego/Factor 5, 1999). Although I enjoyed the GameCube remake (Capcom, 2002) and Resident Evil Zero (ibid), I yearned for the chance to take up arms as Leon S. Kennedy once again. Resident Evil 4(Capcom Production Studio 4, 2005) changed that while simultaneously changing the franchise significantly. Slowly, as Capcom released more and more titles with newer control schemes and gameplay mechanics, Resident Evil shifted away from being a survival-horror series, where supplies were limited and caution was the preferred choice, and became far more action-orientated. Resident Evil 4 laid the groundwork for this, moving the camera behind Leon’s shoulder and allowing full 360-degree movement, and changed the franchise’s focus away from zombies and the machinations of Umbrella and more towards parasites and mutations.
Gone are the days of collecting medieval-themed keys.
Staying the course, Resident Evil 5 (Capcom, 2009) took these aspects and ramped them up to eleven. Returning Chris Redfield to the series, Resident Evil 5 dropped players into a complex plot revolving around Albert Wesker’s attempts to destroy the human race with the Oroburos virus. Teamed with Sheva Alomar, Chris finds himself on a path towards not just saving the human race but also of vengeance; prior to the game’s events, Redfield’s partner, Jill Valentine, was presumed dead at Wesker’s hands and Chris, having bulked up to stand a better chance against Wesker’s superhuman abilities, is determined to have his revenge.
Think of Sheva as a walking Item Box…
Unlike Leon, who was lumbered with protecting and rescuing Ashley Graham in Resident Evil 4, Chris and Sheva operate as a unit. Two players (or one with the CPU) can progress side-by-side throughout the main campaign; Chris and Sheva each have their own limited inventory slots meaning that, with no Item Boxes present in the game, trading and combining items is essential to survival, similar to the partner system of Resident Evil Zero. Ideally, you’ll want to play Resident Evil 5 with a friend as the CPU is extremely basic; your partner will shoot at enemies, pass you ammo, and heal or resuscitate you when necessary but is just as likely to be found stuck behind objects or running against a wall. They also seem incapable of using any weapon other than the one assigned to the top of their inventory, meaning you’ll probably end up using them as a walking, talking storage system.
Use your hard-earned gold to buy and upgrade weapons.
Supplies are plentiful, however, even more so than in Resident Evil 4; dispatched enemies will often drop herbs, ammo, gold, or other trinkets while breakable pots, chests, and other objects will yield similar provisions. Other treasures can also be located throughout the story and can be sold at the end of each chapter to purchase new weapons; while it is sad to see the Merchant absent from the title, this does make inventory management a lot simpler and easier. In terms of gameplay, the control scheme of Resident Evil 4 remains intact here, with some additions; at certain points, the player must command their partner to pull levers, open doors, or otherwise assist with various, simple puzzles. Quick-time events still pepper certain cutscenes, meaning you have to remain on your toes the entire time whilst playing, which adds a nice level of spice and interaction to otherwise passive gameplay moments.
It’s safe to say that Wesker’s lacking calm in this entry.
The enemies in Resident Evil 5 are many, varied, and plentiful; the first mission alone sees Chris and Sheva swarmed with a seemingly endless horde of Majini and the number of enemies onscreen at any one time is easily double that seen in its predecessor. Beyond the regular zombie-like enemies, players will also face the hulking Executioner, spear and shield wielding foes, the return of the Lickers and chainsaw Majinis, and even a gigantic troll-like creature. The ultimate confrontation comes against Wesker, who faces the player at first largely unarmed except for his superhuman abilities and, ultimately, in a mutated form that closely resembles that of a Tyrant. Beyond the main campaign, players can also take part in the Mercenaries mode (where they must eliminate as many enemies as possible within a strict time limit) and a Versus mode (where players take part in online battles as part of one of two factions) . The story is further fleshed out in two DLC campaigns, ‘Lost in Nightmares’ and ‘Desperate Escape’, which sees players once again back in control of Jill Valentine.
Resident Evil 5 is very enjoyable when playing with a friend.
When I first played Resident Evil 5, I remember being quite underwhelmed and disappointed; I had enjoyed Resident Evil 4 quite a lot, despite the hindrance of Ashley’s dead-weight, and it felt as though something had been lost in trying to do more and more. I don’t really mind the added emphasis on action or co-op as it makes the game a breeze to play; checkpoints and autosave locations are plentiful, meaning you can get a good feel of how to progress past more difficult sections and the freedom of movement is unparalleled. Since playing the HD remake on Xbox One, though, I have found that the title is a lot more fun and interesting than I previously believed. Admittedly, a great deal of my enjoyment has come from playing online co-op with a friend of mine but, even when playing alone, I have found myself returning to the game’s campaign, earning Achievements, stocking up my inventory, and earning more BP to spend on costumes, figurines, and upgrades for my weapons.
Relish the opportunity to wipe that smug smirk off Wesker’s face.
All-in-all, Resident Evil 5 is a great action-horror title; it is not the classic Resident Evil formula but, should you wish to play a game that is, there are plenty of previous titles that are readily accessible. I think the game may have gotten a bad reputation back in the day for straying so far from the survival-horror genre but, now, with the benefit of hindsight and subsequent titles, I can appreciate the faster pace of the title and Capcom’s attempts to keep the franchise relevant in a difficult market.
How powerful is nostalgia? That is the question Yooka-Laylee (Playtonic Games/Team17, 2017) poses. The spiritual successor to one of the greatest 3D platrformers/collect-a-thons ever, and one of my personal favourite videogames, Banjo-Kazooie(Rare, 1998), Yooka-Laylee once again throws players into a vibrant world full of colourful, squawking characters but, released some twenty years after Banjo’s heyday, is it enough to satisfy modern gamers? Obviously, this is a question many have debated and answered long before I got around to playing Yooka-Laylee and, if you listen to those opinions, you’ll largely hear a sense of apathy, disappointment, and frustrating with some of Yooka-Laylee’s design choices and gameplay mechanics. It amuses me, however, to imagine the same people who criticised Yooka-Laylee’s gameplay are probably some of the same people who were disappointed that Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (ibid, 2008) was just a kart-constructor and not a fully-fledged 3D platformer. But then, as I’ve always said, you can’t please everyone. Luckily, my needs are far simpler: all I wanted was a throwback to all the things I loved about the Banjo games on modern consoles and, in that sense, Yooka-Laylee delivered.
Yooka and Laylee must search high and low for their missing Pagies.
Rather than the classic bird and bird duo of yesteryear, Yooka-Laylee sees players taking control of the titular Yooka (a green lizard capable of rolling, attacking with his tail, and spitting fire, ice, and grenades) and Laylee (a purple bat who allows a degree of flight and whose sonar highlights secrets and acts as a protective shield) who must fight against the minions of the nefarious Capital B, who plans to use a magical book to take control of the world. Yooka and Laylee happen to be in possession of the book and, when its pages are scattered across various worlds, they take it upon themselves to journey far and wide to collect the missing Pagies and put an end to Capital B’s plans. The world of Yooka-Laylee is both familiar and new; boosted by the power of modern consoles, Yooka and Laylee are able to traverse diverse worlds that are tall, deep, and wide, with numerous side quests, hidden treasures, and additional content that keeps them busy. Worlds are accessed from the game’s central hub, Hivory Towers: Yooka and Laylee can jump into Grand Tomes and enter any of the game’s five worlds, each with a familiar theme (ice, space, casino, etc).
Yooka-Laylee‘s worlds have many hidden secrets.
Once they have collected a certain number of Pagies, players have the option of using some of their Pagies to expand each world, opening up new areas and, in some cases, adding entirely new sections to existing worlds where more collectables can be found. In order to reach Capital B, players have to collect a set number of Pagies but, in order to complete the game fully, players must find all 145 Pagies, each of which is protected by either a boss battle, a puzzle of some sorts, mandatory on-rails kart sections, races, and retro-style arcade games. Players can also find and collect various other objects; Quills can be collected to purchase new moves from Trowzer, a shady sales-snake (and finding all 1010 is necessary to obtaining every Pagie), Power Extenders extend your power meter and allow you to use the duos abilities for longer, butterflies can be eaten to restore health and your power meter and there are Health Extenders to get an extra hit point, and five hidden pieces of pirate treasure are also hidden within each world.
You can purchase new moves and abilities.
To assist with their exploring and collecting, players can access a wide variety of moves upon their purchase. Eventually, players will be able to fly, turn invisible, absorb the properties of beehives to access new areas (eating fire-flies to light dark areas, for example), and even encase themselves in a bubble to walk underwater. Completing certain objective will also allow players to assign one of Vendi’s tonics, which all grant the duo certain buffs (such as an extra hit point, a faster regenerating power meter, or removing damage from falls).
A variety of wacky transformations are at your disposal.
Furthermore, Dr. Puzz can be found in each world and will transform Yooka and Laylee into a variety of other forms, similar to Mumbo-Jumbo in Banjo-Kazooie. Players can become a plant, a snowplough, a helicopter, a swarm of piranha, and an adorable little pirate ship; each transformation allows players to solve puzzles and earn new Pagies as well as access other areas of their respective world. Yooka and Laylee also have to contend with a boss battle in each world, each more ridiculous than the last (they range from a giant ice block and a lovesick, anthropomorphic asteroid). While most of these aren’t particularly difficult and can be bested with a combination of skill, memorisation, and having enough health and power, some can be quite tricky and frustrating, with the final boss battle in particular proving quite the headache. Similar to the final confrontations with Gruntilda in the Banjo games, Capital B takes numerous forms and requires the uses of all of Yooka and Laylee’s skills to win the day.
Even Shovel Knight shows up. How indy is that!?
One of the criticisms I heard about this game long before finally getting it was that the worlds are perhaps too large and too sparsely populated and, in truth, it feels like there could have been ten very distinct worlds instead of five that are extended further and basically force the player to remain in each one for extended periods of time with little reprieve. However, each world is alive with gorgeous, colourful characters and locations; they stretch far up, deep down, and right across and each one has so much to see, do, and explore. The downside to this is that there is so much ground to cover and so many areas and sub areas in each world that it can be difficult to know where to go, where things are, and how to proceed. This is a good thing, in that the game doesn’t hand-hold the player, but it does make finding the game’s many collectables (especially those damn Quills) very difficult and frustrating, especially when you have searched every square inch numerous times. However, each world has a lot packed into it and their own unique theme; players will find themselves completing a variety of mini games in capital Cashino, for instance, in exchange for coins that can be further exchanged for Pagies but, in Moodymaze Marsh, have to traverse a murky swamp filled with spiked plants.
Seriously, screw this guy and his damn kart sections!
Playing Yooka-Laylee is, mostly, a breeze; Pagies can be found and collected without too much difficulty but, if you want to get everything in the game, you’re going to have to endure some frustrating sections. Kartos, the anthropomorphic kart, can be found in each world and beating one of his increasingly-difficult on-rails kart sections is mandatory for earning all Pagies. Similarly, Rextro the Dinosaur’s arcade-style mini games must be beaten twice to earn two Pagies; these are nice, fun distractions but can be annoying to have to play due to the controls, janky hit boxes, and equally-janky controls. It’s nothing you can’t get through with time and patience, though, and adds some variety, if nothing else.
There’s lots to see, do, and collect. What more could you want?
Honestly, it annoys me that Yooka-Laylee wasn’t more praised upon its release. Sure, there could be a lot more available in the game, but for a crowd-funded, independently-produced title, it has a lot going for it and is more than a worthy successor to Banjo-Kazooie. I would love to see the Platronics guys get folded back in to Rare and a true Banjo-Kazooie sequel be produced but, until then, Yooka-Laylee scratches that particular itch quite nicely with its large worlds, gorgeous visuals, fun gameplay, biting wit, and some brilliant new tunes from Grant Kirkhope. In the end, nostalgia was powerful indeed, certainly enough for me to have a great time with this fun little throwback to an era sadly neglected in modern day videogames.
Despite my affinity for the Resident Evil (Capcom, 1996 to present) franchise, my love for the series actually began with the Nintendo 64 port of Resident Evil 2 (ibid/Rockstar San Diego/Factor 5, 1999) because, as a kid, I was too poor to ever own a PlayStation and hedged my bets on the N64 instead. While this means I had to retroactively catch up with the original title and was forced to play catch-up ever since with each subsequent release, I have attempted to keep the series at the forefront of my videogame library. However, considering I prefer to stick to the main series titles, Resident Evil: Revelations (Capcom, 2012) passed me by. Originally released for the Nintendo 3DS, a HD port of the title was released for Xbox One in 2013 and, fresh off of Christmas, a copy of this version recently landed in my lap. Set between Resident Evil 4 (Capcom Production Studio 4, 2005) and Resident Evil 5(Capcom, 2009), Revelations took main series stars Jill Valentine and Chris Redfield, saddled them with new partners, and dropped them in the deepest of shits on two cruise ships.
Revelations jumps back and forth between many characters.
The story, in true Resident Evil fashion, is both complex and simple: a viral outbreak has occurred on the Queen Zenobia and Jill and Parker Luciani have been sent in to investigate and find Chris and his partner, Jessica Sherawat. Things quickly become far more complicated when the terrorist organisation Veltro seemingly re-emerges, monsters and mutations stalk the corridors and extravagant interiors of the Zenobia, and twists, turns, and betrayals start to take shape. Additionally, the story jumps between three teams of two characters (the two already mentioned and a couple of BSAA hot-heads conducting a further investigation) and various different time points; players will take Jill through the Zenobia at one moment, before flashing back to events prior to the game’s story and taking control of Parker, before jumping into Chris’s shoes at another end of the ship. It all gets very confusing and annoying, especially when you’re trying to put the narrative in some kind of order, but I appreciated the variety in characters, who all play slightly different and have different missions, weapons, and enemies to encounter. Revelations adopts the over-the-shoulder, action-orientated approach popularised by Resident Evil 4 and yet still returns the series to its claustrophobic, atmospheric roots through the effective use of narrow hallways and the isolation offered by the ships being adrift in the middle of the ocean. Therefore, weapons, ammo, and health are in plentiful supply (especially by Resident Evil standards) but you still can’t go in all guns blazing.
Revelations’ enemies are as unique as they are dangerous.
The Queen Zenobia is swarming with monsters the likes of which have never been seen before in Resident Evil; as with all titles after Resident Evil 4, Revelations moves away from the traditional shambling zombies and more towards mutations and monstrosities. Given the naval setting of the videogame, Revelations sees players battling against weird aquatic creatures that sprout tentacles at a moment’s notice or throw spear-like claws at you, bulbous atrocities with fuckin’ buzzsaws for hands, and even a gigantic, mutated octopus.
The scanning mechanic was quite obtrusive.
The enemy design is very unique and makes for far more formidable monsters to fight to the point where even bog-standard enemies will soak up your bullets like a sponge. Luckily, players are equipped with a device called the “Genesis” which allows them to scan enemies and the environment to locate hidden items and build up a percentage score; once this hits 100%, you are awarded with a health item. Unfortunately, this device is cumbersome and you cannot attack while using it; I assume it worked a lot better with the 3DS’ touch-pad capabilities but, on the Xbox One, it reminded me of the scanning mechanics that I remember dragging down Ghostbusters: The Video Game (Terminal Reality, 2009). On the plus side, though, player control has never been better or more fluid; in Revelations, players can move and shoot (or reload) at the same time and healing items can be used at the push of a button without equipping them from a menu screen (in fact, I hardly ever had a need for the menu at all!), making combat much faster, easier, and fluid. The map is pretty poor, especially compared to the one in Resident Evil 5, and it’s pretty easy to get lost on the ship’s many floors and increasingly grandiose locations but, to be fair, that is part of the charm of a Resident Evil title.
Whoever designed these swimming sections needs to be shot!
There are also a couple of fun on-rails sections where players use Gatling Guns to blast at giant tentacles and even bigger bosses. One new feature I did not enjoy, however, were the sections that force you to endure the game’s terrible swimming mechanics. I can only assume that this was originally something players controlled with the 3DS’ gyroscopic feature, which would have made it even more nauseating and difficult to control. Revelations’ single player campaign is broken down into numerous chapters and acts, making the game very easy to pick up and play in short bursts; I often find Resident Evil titles very intense and absorbing and have to play them in long sessions but Revelations was a lot less stressful in this regard and you can play as much or as little as you like. The better you do in each chapter, the more points and rewards you will receive; these can be used in the game’s Raid Mode, which is a pretty nifty little feature similar to the Mercenaries mode of previous Resident Evil videogames.
Raid Mode offers a variety of bite-sized challenges.
In Raid Mode, players can pick a character (usually one of the main story protagonists), assign them weapons, buffs, and items, and take on a series of short missions based on the single player levels. Although these missions will be much shorter, they can be quite tough; players encounter enemies of varying levels (the higher the level, the tougher the enemies are), far less items (and no access to the Genesis device as far as I have seen), and are also encouraged to finish each mission in a decent time while also shooting at tokens for bonus points.
The sea provides some gigantic bosses to battle!
Overall, Revelations was a pretty good time; it was a blast to see some classic Resident Evil characters and enemies recreated and the story, while over-the-top even by Resident Evil standards, was tolerable and entertaining. It’s fun to blast through the main story mode and take on these new, unique enemies even if a lot of them are frustrating and annoying, especially when you’re low on ammo and can’t be bothered to waste time scanning with the Genesis to get more health. While I found myself getting lost quite a lot due to the poor map and would rather bite a limb off than ever take Jill swimming again, I otherwise really enjoyed the more action-orientated combat and the tense, claustrophobic atmosphere afforded by the game’s narrative and setting.
Released: December 2018 Director: James Wan Distributor: Warner Brothers Budget: $160 to $200 million Stars: Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Patrick Wilson, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Willem Dafoe, Temuera Morrison, and Nicole Kidman
Plot: Fresh off saving the world in whichever version of Justice League (Snyder/Whedon, 2017) you consider canon, Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Momoa) returns to Atlantis when his half-brother, Orm Marius (Wilson), prepares to war with the surface world. Assisted by Princess Y’Mera Xebella Challa/Mera (Heard), Arthur is tasked with finding and retrieving a legendary trident and claiming his birth right as the rightful King of Atlantis.
The Background: The character of Arthur Curry, everyone’s favourite fish-talking aquatic superhero, was created by Mort Weisinger and Paul Norris way back in 1941 when National Comics (the precursor to DC Comics) were eager to capitalise on the success of Clark Kent/Superman and Bruce Wayne/Batman with more costumed heroes. Despite being unfairly ridiculed over the years, Aquaman has been a part of DC’s biggest stories and proved popular enough to feature in numerous DC cartoons, a diabolical videogame, and even almost got his own teen drama show. Development of a live-action solo film can be traced back to 2004, when Robert Ben Garant was hired to write a screenplay; when that project fell through, the character was slated to appear in the ill-fated Justice League: Mortal, but development didn’t truly take off until the successful of Man of Steel(Snyder, 2013) heralded the birth of the DC Extended Universe (DCEU). With Aquaman now a priority, the character cameoed in the divisiveBatman v Superman: Dawn of Justice(ibid, 2016) and was one of the standout elements of Justice League, meaning excitement was high for his solo venture. Filming primarily took place in Australia and Europe and much of the production was focused on bringing Atlantis to life and showcasing Aquaman’s underwater abilities; there were over 700 shots for hair simulations alone, to say nothing of the many ships, architecture, and visual effects required to have the actors move dynamically and believable when seen underwater. Aquaman proved a smash hit; with a worldwide gross of $1.148 billion, it became the fifth-most-profitable release of 2018 and reviews were generally very positive. While some criticised the plot and dialogue, the performances and spectacle drew much praise and a sequel was quickly greenlit. The film was also followed by a short-lived animated spin-off on HBO Max and there was even, strangely, talk of director James Wan revisiting his horror roots in a spin-off movie focusing on the monstrous Trench that, thankfully, never materialised ahead of the sequel.
The Review: Aquaman has always been a bit of a divisive character; thanks to decades of misconceptions about his powers, he’s often portrayed as a useless and ineffectual superhero despite basically being the Superman of the sea and having the potential to be one of the most formidable metahumans in all of comics, much less in DC Comics. Personally, because of this, I’ve always had a soft spot for the character; I’m not massively well-read on his adventures but I really enjoyed Peter David’s run, which transformed him from a white-meat goody two-shoes into a bitter, rugged monarch with a harpoon for a hand! It’s fair to say that attempts to adapt Aquaman outside of the comics haven’t fared too well either, so I was genuinely excited to see that Jason Momoa, who had impressed me with his performance in the surprisingly enjoyable Conan the Barbarian (Nispel, 2011), had been cast and been done up into a barbarian-of-the-sea appearance to tie into his Polynesian heritage. His brief appearance in Batman v Superman and the marketing for that movie (which was oddly focused on the fledgling Justice League) made me anxious for his reinterpretation and I was very happy with Momoa’s portrayal of the character in Justice League as this bad-ass, arrogant loner who was kind of a mixture of Aquaman and Thor Odinson (Chris Hemsworth), showcasing the same brash pride as the latter alongside a genuine love for battle that made him a joy to watch in an otherwise mediocre superhero movie (regardless of which version you’re watching).
The film delves into Arthur’s origins and his resentment towards Atlantis for taking away his mother.
Thanks to Zack Snyder hastily introducing Aquaman and the other Justice Leaguers in Batman v Superman and rushing into a team-up movie before the DCEU could be properly established, Aquaman’s opening moments (and, indeed, much to the plot) revolve around addressing his origin, his powers, and establishing him has a well-rounded character with complex motivations. Because of this, it’s perhaps unsurprising that the film is bookended by Arthur’s narration, with Aquaman taking us through the unlikely romance that built between simple lighthouse keeper Thomas Curry (Morrison) and Atlanna (Kidman), the Queen of Atlantis who fled her arranged marriage and literally washed up outside Tom’s lighthouse. Confused, injured, and bewildered, it naturally takes Atlanna some time to adjust to the surface world, but she quickly becomes enamoured by Tom’s kindness and simple life and the two fall in love and give birth to a young son, Arthur, whom she sees as the potential bridge between humanity and Atlantis. When Atlantis’s soldiers come to force her return, Atlanna showcases some of the fighting spirit her son would eventually be known for, but this is more an emotional outburst and she’s forced to return to Atlantis, and her arranged marriage, to keep not only Tom and Arthur safe but also prevent a war between Atlantis and the surface world. Despite this, Atlanna commands her vizier, Nuidis Vulko (Dafoe), to continue training Arthur, allowing him to master communicating with marine life using a form of echo-telepathy, survive and see in the ocean depths, and blast through water at subsonic speeds. Jason Momoa is an absolute highlight of the movie and is perfect for the title role; Justice League briefly touched upon the resentment he feels towards Atlantis (although that sentiment is revisedhere so that he’s not bitter about his mother leaving him for Atlantean duties and is instead aggrieved that Atlantis shunned him and his mother) and portrayed him as a free-spirited individual with a taste for the booze and adulation. Aquaman develops this further by showing that Arthur holds a grudge against Atlantis for apparently murdering Atlanna for her forbidden love. Despite having saved the world in Justice League, Arthur’s loyalties to the surface world are equally tenuous; he’s uncomfortable being celebrated as the Aquaman and carries a true sense of conflict and sadness over his unresolved issues regarding his heritage that really hammers home that he’s torn between wanting to be left alone and reclaiming his birthright.
A reluctant Arthur must reclaim his birthright to keep his half-brother from destroying the surface world.
Atlantis comes calling, however, when the ridiculously gorgeous Mera arrives to bring Arthur back to his people. Like Vulko, Mera has been feigning loyalty to Orm’s throne but secretly desires to displace him with Arthur; while Mera has no love for the surface world, she prefers Atlantis to remain hidden and in peace rather than at war. Mera is more than capable of holding her own due to her unique hydrokinetic powers, which allow her to hold and command water, extract water from bodies, and turn wine into deadly spiked projectiles in addition to being highly skilled with a blade. Witnessing Orm’s first strike against humanity and the devastation it causes, Arthur reluctantly follows Mera to Atlantis to reunite with Vulko, a man he greatly respects as a mentor despite being sceptical of his plans. Arthur’s reluctance to assume this role is seeped as much in his self-doubt as it is his animosity towards Atlantis; seeing himself as unworthy, the legend of King Atlan (Graham McTavish) as nothing more than a fairy tale, and believing he has no standing or authority within the undersea realm, Arthur is only spurred into embarking on a quest to find King Atlan’s lost tomb and trident after being humbled in mortal combat against Orm. Though she struggles to adjust to Arthur’s snarky, dismissive attitude and is constantly exasperated by his unfamiliarity with Atlantean customs, Mera warms to him while on their quest. Just as he was a stranger in Atlantis, she too is a stranger to the surface world; disgusted by the polluted, overcrowded nature of Arthur’s world, she manages to find some beauty in flowers and the kindness of others and, united in their common goals and the exhilarating of their experiences, an unlikely romance blossoms between the two that sees Mera realise that it’s the very qualities Arthur believes hold him back that make him suitable to be king.
Orm is maniacally driven to unite the undersea kingdoms in a war against the surface world!
I’ve always said that for any good action movie to really work, you need an accomplished actor to portray the villain and offset the musclebound protagonist and Aquaman has the distinction of casting Patrick Wilson in a far more action-heavy role than we’re used to seeing. A stickler for tradition, Orm longs to return the seven Kingdoms to prominence as a united underwater civilisation against the destructive surface world and believes it’s his birthright to lead the united underwater realms in a pre-emptive strike against the surface. While King Nereus of Xebel (Dolph Lundgren) believes that humanity will destroy themselves and aren’t a concern, Orm is insistent that it’s only a matter of time before their conflicts come to the ocean. King Nereus, however, sees through Orm’s golden tongue; with only four of the seven Kingdoms still standing, and the armies of Xebel the only reliable fighting force outside of Atlantis, Orm requires King Nereus’s allegiance if he’s to unite the empire as “Ocean Master” and wage his war. An alliance with David Kane (Abdul-Mateen II), a mercenary with a grudge against Aquaman, allows Orm to stage an attack that convinces King Nereus of mankind’s threat, painting Orm as a scheming and manipulative, power-mad dictator who is determined to wage way regardless of the consequences. However, Orm isn’t simply some conniving armchair villain; he delivers a scathing warning to the surface world by ejecting decades of ships, waste, and wreckage out of the sea as an act of aggression and almost kills Tom in the process. Additionally, Orm is armed with the full knowledge of Atlantean society, well aware of what commanding the united kingdoms, possessing King Atlan’s trident, and trial by combat really means. Because of this, and having lived his entire life under the sea, Orm is an accomplished fighter underwater who easily bests Arthur’s sloppier fighting style. Orm’s mental state, however, is clearly on a razor’s edge; desperate for war, he lashes out and makes demands of all those around him, fully willing to kill to fulfil his ends, and yet is intelligent enough to understand the importance of allegiances and allies. This leads him to keeping Vulko close, despite being fully aware of his betrayal, and to marry Mera to secure the loyalty of King Nereus, all while preparing to destroy countless human lives in his quest for power and glory.
Out for revenge, David Kane outfits Atlantean tech to become the dangerous sub-villain Black Manta.
As mentioned, Orm allies with David Kane (Abdul-Mateen II), a pirate we’re introduced to in the film’s first act. Alongside his father, Jessie (Michael Beach), David sports intimidating advanced diving gear (with a Baraka-like blade built into his gauntlets) and commands a squadron of similarly-clad minions in hijacking a nuclear-powered submarine. Having planned and taken the lead on the heist, David is not only afforded his father’s respect but also gifted a blade, a family heirloom, as a rite of passage. His pride at this touching moment is almost as strong as his deep-rooted desire to lock horns with the fabled Aquaman, believing it to be an inevitable conflict, but his fervour to best Arthur soon turns to desperation when Jessie is left pinned under a torpedo and subsequently drowns despite David’s pleas for mercy. Seething with rage, David demands Orm gives him the means to avenge himself on Aquaman, which the would-be conqueror initially balks at but, after Mera helps Arthur to escape to the Sahara Desert, Orm gives David advanced Atlantean technology that allows him to assume the identity of Black Manta so he can track them down and kill them before they can find King Atlan’s trident. While Black Manta could have been featured a little more in the film, which juggles many different stories and ideas simultaneously, his appearance is a welcome one as he fully embraces the all-encompassing outfit and manages to project his rage and lust for vengeance despite being completely obscured. His presence here is primarily to give Arthur a secondary villain to butt heads with in the second act and to set him up for a greater, or recurring role, in future films, possibly alongside disgraced scientist Doctor Stephen Shin (Randall Park).
The Nitty-Gritty: Aquaman released at a time when there was a conscious effort to lighten up the bleak, grim-dark DCEU; while I appreciate the DCEU’s attempts to separate itself from the more family-friendly jaunts of Marvel Studios, I have to admit that there’s something very off about a morose Superman (Henry Cavill) and a disillusioned Batman (Ben Affleck) swearing and going on a murder spree so I, for one, enjoyed the infusion of more comedic aspects into the DCEU and embracing some of the source material’s more outrageous notions to focus on bombastic, blockbuster fun rather than melancholic deconstruction of the genre. Consequently, there’s a great balance of action, drama, and humour in Aquaman right from the start when Queen Atlanna hurls her trident at an episode of Stingray (1964 to 1965). Much of the film’s humour is delivered by the super charismatic Jason Momoa; his Aquaman is a bit of a bonehead at times and never short of a smart-ass quip, resulting in him making a bit of a fool of himself around Mera, subverting expectations by having him drinking with some overzealous fans rather than engaging in a barroom brawl, his own disgust at his personal hygiene, and, my favourite gag, the “Drunk” graphic listed as one of his cons during his ritualistic combat against Orm. The film is also rife with familial themes; Arthur’s life has been ruled by the belief that Atlantis killed his mother, but he’s very close to Tom, drinking with him and sharing mutual respect even while being exasperated by this father’s efforts to push him to be more. The central conflict between Arthur and Orm is essentially a clash between slighted brothers not unlike what we saw in Thor(Branagh, 2011) except the two are far more equally matched; it’s telling that Orm’s conquest against the surface world only ends upon seeing his mother alive and well, after all. Mera also has a complex relationship with her father; she wants to do right by him but isn’t happy about being forced to marry Orm, nor does she agree with his war against the surface world, and she openly defies both and risks being charged with treason in order to bring Arthur back so he can prove his birthright, no matter how unworthy he may initially be.
Aquaman‘s costume design and visual spectacle is a true highlight of the movie.
To the delight of many viewers, I’m sure, Arthur spends most of the film topless, showing off his impressive physique and his array of tribal tattoos; although he donned Atlantean armour in Justice League, he appears to have ditched this in favour of his more streamlined appearance but, after meeting the Lovecraftian Karathen (Julie Andrews) and reclaiming the trident of the legendary King Atlan, he emerges garbed in the king’s golden scale armour, effectively wearing a comic-accurate suit that turns the orange scales and green tights and turns into this absolutely bad-ass armoured look that really works (though at the cost of those abs). I was similarly taken by Mera; Amber Heard might be persona non grata these days (and rightfully so), but my God does she cut an alluring figure in that slick, skin-tight outfit and with the glossy red hair (wig or not). I was equally blown away by the film’s villains; not only does David end up sporting an extremely faithful Black Manta suit, complete with oval head and laser blasts, but Patrick Wilson cuts an intimidating figure even in the ridiculous Ocean Master armour, which boasts a flexible cowl to allow him greater emotional range during the film’s climactic fight scene. When not garbed in his own ostentatious golden armour, Orm prefers a darker attire and rides vicious sharks outfitted with concussive cannons to demonstrate his command over one of the sea’s most aggressive predators; conversely, King Nereus and his people don striking emerald and gold ceremonial armour and traverse the waterways on great seahorses. Atlantis is but the central kingdom of a vast and diverse underwater society comprised of numerous fish-like races; the most human of them all, Atlantis’s citizens are physically impeccable, with Atlanna, Orm, Mera, and Arthur himself all being beautiful and strong physical specimens. Their technology is fantastically advanced, allowing their soldiers to wield concussive staffs and pilot underwater craft that are not only futuristic but almost alien in their design. Convenient air pockets exist within the underwater kingdom, and can be created by Mera’s powers, but only the “Highborn” are capable of breathing water and air, meaning Orm’s soldiers use breathing equipment outside the water. There are many layers to Atlantis, from the enigmatic dwellings of the Highborns to the harsh traditional of the Ring of Fire (complete with a drum playing octopus!), and Aquaman really goes all-in to bring the spectacle of Atlantis and her technology; ships and weapons have a bioluminescent glow that makes them magical and also a little alien and the entire kingdom is a mixture of ancient ruins and highly advanced, futuristic technology where beautiful luminous structures and sleek structures exist side by side.
Alongside thrilling action, Aquaman dabbles in horror to keep things visually exciting.
Hidden beneath the depths of the Atlantic Ocean is the lost civilisation of Atlantis, a submerged civilisation comprised of seven underwater kingdoms, of which only five are thriving: Atlantis itself, where Orm has taken the crown; Xebel, ruled by King Nereus birthplace of Mera; the Trench, home to a vicious and aggressive tribe; the Brine, a race of anthropomorphic crustaceans; and the Kingdom of the Fishermen, who are ruled by King Ricou (Andrew Crawford/Djimon Hounsou). Mera also mentions the Deserters during their excursion to the Sahara Desert; though she claims their civilisation was destroyed, remnants of their technology are still present and easily reactivated with just a drop of sweat. To use another Marvel comparison again, it’s very much like a mixture of Asgard and Wakanda but underwater; the underwater kingdom brings a true sense of history, one that really expands the lore of the DCEU by relating the history of Atlantis, a technologically advanced civilisation seeped in magic not unlike Themyscira, but which paid the price of their ambition by being submerged beneath the ocean and lost to mythology. There, they ether evolved or regressed and its these differences that really make Aquaman a visual treat; when conversing underwater, there’s an echo effect applied to the dialogue to indicate the affect the depths of the ocean has on communication; while telepathy probably would’ve made more sense, this method allows the actors to properly convey emotions and also ties into the somewhat fantastical nature of Atlantis. Characters are also almost constantly depicted swimming, floating, or otherwise drifting in the ocean, with their hair and ceremonial robes and such all being affected by the constant movement of water to really help make the underwater scenes both immersive and accessible to audiences. When venturing into the Kingdom of the Trench, Aquaman allows director James Wan’s horror background to shine in bringing these nightmarish, carnivorous creatures to life; their mindless brutality is in stark contrast to the more elegant Alanteans and even the otherworldly beauty and outrageousness, respectively, of the Fishermen and the Brine. Thankfully, Aquaman’s visuals hold up really well; the choking depths of the ocean help to mask more CG-heavy effects such as the Karathen, but the film certainly doesn’t pull any punches for the massive conflict that rages throughout the final act.
Explosive and hard-hitting fight and action scenes break out at the drop of a pin.
With the narrative building towards an epic climax, Aquaman certainly isn’t short on action sequences; amusingly, the movie is constantly interrupting dialogue and exposition scenes with explosions and action scenes, almost to the point of ridiculousness as it happens three times (during the Orm’s discussion with King Nereus, interrupting Vulko’s mission debriefing to Arthur and Mera, and right as Arthur solves King Atlan’s riddle in Sicily). I mentioned before that Aquaman is basically the Superman of the sea and this is reinforced with Arthur’s bad-ass introduction, in which he hefts a submarine to the surface, shrugs off bullets and even grenades to the chest, and decimates Kane’s soldiers with a brawling, no-nonsense fighting style that unwittingly creates his resentful archvillain, Black Manta. Arthur is also depicted as leaping out of the water and darting through the depths in very much the same way Superman flies through the sky and his half-breed physiology certainly hasn’t dampened his superhuman abilities and he only encounters a challenge when he goes toe to toe with Orm’s soldiers due to their advanced technology and his inexperience with underwater fighting. Arthur has a couple of run-ins with David throughout the film; their first fight is ridiculously one-sided, despite David’s passion and swordsmanship, as he cannot make a dent on the metahuman half-breed and is left beaten, humiliated, and swearing revenge. The second time they fight, it’s in Sicily and David has rechristened himself Black Manta; now able to fly and emit concentrated blasts of concussive plasma from his saucer-shaped helmet, Black Manta is finally able to fight Aquaman on equal ground thanks, in no small part, to the addition on Atlantean steel and a plasma-like whip to his arsenal. The first time Arthur battles Orm, it’s on the would-be conqueror’s turf, surrounded by water and the jeers of the crowd. Having lived his whole life underwater, training to be the best, Orm easily humbles Arthur, unleashing all of his spite and disgust for his older brother, even severing their mother’s trident in the battle to prove his dominance. Indeed, it’s only due to Mera’s interference that Arthur is saved from death, and he learns from the experience to challenge Ocean Master outside of the water for the finale.
Ultimately the rugged Arthur reclaims his birthright and defeats his half-brother’s mad ambitions.
Arthur and Mera’s journey leads them on a globe-trotting quest to solve King Atlan’s riddle, which takes them to the Kingdom of the Trench, a vast and hazardous pitch-black underwater kingdom full of the carnivorous beasts that also hides a wormhole to the centre of the Earth, where Atlanna is revealed to be alive and well. Arthur is conflicted by this revelation; clearly overwhelmed, he’s brought a sense of closure by his remorseful mother, who’s first concern is to reassure him and to ask about Tom, who still waits for her return. Before any of them can escape, however, Arthur must face his fears and brave the dwelling of the Karathen to claim King Atlan’s trident, something he’s able to succeed at thanks to his ability to communicate with sea life. With Orm having killed King Ricou to force the Fishermen’s loyalty, and Vulko imprisoned for treason, the newly crowned Ocean Master leads his army against the forces of the crustacean Brine race to force them to submit to him. However, Aquaman and Mera arrive, with the former commanding the mindless Trench and triumphantly riding the Karathen into battle, and wielding King Atlan’s trident, its power amplifying his own and allowing him to turn Orm’s steeds against him and his allies. Although this is enough to finally convince King Nereus to stand down, Ocean Master is not so easily swayed and so stubborn in his refusal to yield that he recklessly battles Aquaman on the surface of his ship against the backdrop of a raging thunderstorm as the sea people watch on. Thanks to a technique of Vulko’s, which sees Aquaman generate a swirling shield of hard water, and his experience with fighting on land, Arthur topples Ocean Master but, in defiance of Atlantis’s ways and Orm’s desperate pleas, refuses to kill him. Orm finally yields upon seeing his mother alive and is imprisoned, with Arthur extending the olive branch to his wayward little brother and assuming his rightful place as the King of Atlantis. However, though Black Manta appeared to suffer a fatal fall at the hands of Arthur and a handed ball and chain, a mid-credits scene reveals he’s alive and well thanks to Dr. Shin and willing to lead the marine biologist to Atlantis in return for his assistance in repairing his armour.
The Summary: Aquaman is, in a word, bad-ass. It takes some of the best elements of superhero, science-fiction, and fantasy films and smashes them together in a glorious, over-the-top thrill ride that never slows down and never has a dull moment. It was great giving Arthur a platform to shine so we could learn more about his origins and motivations, with the plot literally centring around Arthur’s heritage and his grudge against all of Atlantis. Jason Momoa shined in this role and carries the film with his physique and endless charisma; he carries himself with such a swagger and confidence while also being a loveable goofball that it’s impossible not to like him or root for him reclaiming his birthright. Patrick Wilson was equally amazing as Orm; so much of Orm’s motivation stems from his disgust at having a half-breed older brother and his quest to become the Ocean Master is layered in a desire to destroy Aquaman, dominate the surface world, bring Atlantis back to glory, and his personal lust for power. The film’s pacing is really fun, as well, with massive action scenes breaking out at the drop of a pin and it also does a great job keeping things visually interesting by contrasting cinematic genres, such as when Arthur and Mera journey to the Kingdom of the Trench and the film suddenly becomes a monster/horror movie but, by the time they return to Atlantis, it shifts easily into a massive full-scale war movie! I cannot stress enough how much fun Aquaman is; the film is bright, constantly moving, full of action, and has a real dramatic weight to the story. While it’s obviously a big CGI-fest at times, all the effects look great, with special props to the costume design, and the film is also full of humour and hard-hitting action. Ultimately, while I disagree with the decision to fast-track to a Justice League film before the DCEU was properly established, I’m so glad that Jason Momoa got the chance to bring this character into the mainstream in such an entertaining way and Aquaman definitely went a long way to changing the public’s perception of the character for the better, in my opinion.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
What did you think to Aquaman? Did you enjoy Jason Momoa’s portrayal and the changes made to his character for the film? Do you think we should’ve gotten more solo DC movies before a Justice League film was made? What did you think to the conflict between Aquaman and Ocean Master? Would you have liked to see a bigger role for Black Manta? What did you think to Atlantis, the different undersea tribes, and the film’s costume design? What Aquaman stories, characters, and moments would you like to see adapted in the future? Whatever your thoughts on Aquaman, feel free to leave a comment below and be sure to check out my other Aquaman reviews.
It seems blasphemous to say it but, sometimes, films do deserve a modern remake. The stigma that remakes are “bad” or “unnecessary” is one that I have already contested before, as some of the best films in cinema history are actually remakes. However, whether because they haven’t aged too well, or sequels ruined the original concept or expanded upon it in ways that actually affect the original negatively, or there is the potential that some films could just be done better, I put it to you that there are some movies that totally are in need of a remake and here are just some of them.
10 X-Men
I’ve already discussed, at length, my ideas for the surely-inevitableX-Men reboot that will come once Marvel Studios decides to integrate Mutants into the Marvel Cinematic Universe but it needs repeating here: the X-Men franchise is a mess! 20th Century Fox could have rebooted the franchise with X-Men: First Class(Vaughn, 2011) but, instead, they chose to produce a sloppy mish-mash of sequel, reboot, and retcon because God forbid that they lose the revenue produced every time Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine pops his claws. Similarly, X-Men: Days of Future Past (Singer, 2014) could have straightened things out using time travel but that clearly was asking too much; the focus was on powering through with a nonsensical, confusing timeline, not on any sense of continuity or logic. Therefore, X-Men really needs to have the plug pulled and a whole new retelling to help bring some kind of order and logic to one of Marvel’s biggest and most profitable franchises.
9 Street Fighter
What’s that, you say? “Street Fighter already had a reboot; Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (Bartkowiak, 2009)!” Really? You’re happy for that atrocity to stand as your Street Fighter adaptation? Jeez, at least Street Fighter (de Souza, 1994) was fun; dumb, yes, but fun. The only things Legend of Chun-Li had going for it were higher production values, Robin Shou, and the use of chi; literally everything else was a slap in the face to any fan of the videogames or action movies in general. Now, you might also be wondering why I didn’t pick Mortal Kombat (Anderson, 1995) and the answer is simple: it is a fantastic film; fun, witty, with some great fight scenes and decent effects. Street Fighter, however, is still waiting for a halfway decent adaptation; go old-school with it, make it a gritty, Kickboxer (DiSalle and Worth, 1989)/Bloodsport (Arnold, 1988)-style action movie; maybe throw in some inspiration from Warrior (O’Connor, 2011). In today’s climate, where MMA and UFC are mainstream and popular, Street Fighter has the potential to be a pretty solid action film if handled correctly.
8 The Mask
Our first remake where my overriding advice is simple: “Go back to the source material!” Don’t get me wrong, I love The Mask (Russell, 1994); it’s a great vehicle for Jim Carrey’s talents and looks fantastic as a live-action cartoon but it’s not really a great adaptation of Mike Richardson’s original comic book. In the comics, “Big-Head” was a complete and utter psychopath and the titular Mask was anything but a force for wacky comedy. Therefore, rather than simply trying to ape Carrey’s performance, do a complete 1800 and make a super-stylised, hyper-violent action/horror movie. Honestly, given how successful Deadpool (Miller, 2016) and its sequel were, I am surprised that we haven’t heard rumblings of a new Mask movie as it’s basically the same premise but even more over the top, if you can believe that!
7 Resident Evil
Easily the most inevitable of all of these films given recent news that a director has already been picked, I once again would advise revisiting the source material this time around (or, you know, actually bother to look at the source material at all) as the movies churned out by Paul W. S. Anderson have little to no resemblance to Capcom’s survival-horror series. Seriously, stop trying to copy Aliens(Cameron, 1986) and concentrate on making a dark (literally and figuratively), tense, atmospheric movie where two characters have to survival against some gory, fucked up zombies and gristly, practically-created (CGI just for enhancement, please!) monsters. It’s a bad sign when Doom(Bartkowiak, 2005) is a better Resident Evil movie than any of the actual Resident Evil movies so, come on, bring back the splatter-gore zombies movies of old and make a real Resident Evil adaptation for once!
(Side note: I actually love Doom. Fight me).
6 The Crow
Here’s one that’s been in and out of development hell for decades now. We have come so close to getting a new Crow movie so many times, with names like Bradley Cooper and Jason Momoa both attached at one point, only to have it snatched away at the last second. Honestly, I am fine with this as The Crow(Proyas, 1994) remains one of the most haunting and beautiful movies (and adaptations) of all time. However, while I am in no hurry to see a remake, if we do ever get one I again urge those behind it to look a little closer at James O’Barr’s original 1989 comic book, if only to differentiate the new film from the original. Go for a moody, stylised, neo-noir piece, taking inspiration from Sin City (Miller and Rodriguez, 2005), and craft a dark, sombre film that has little to do with heroism and more to do with cold, uncompromising vengeance.
5 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Ah, yes, the film that notoriously caused Sean Connery to retire from Hollywood altogether. Again, I am actually a bit of a fan of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Norrington, 2003); it’s not perfect but I liked seeing all these literary characters come together and the steampunk aesthetic of the movie. However, I would not be against Hollywood giving this one another go as it could definitely be done better. Keep the steampunk aesthetic but really emphasise the gritty, world-weary nature of these characters; you’re bringing together some of the most beloved, nuanced, and interesting fictional characters ever created so don’t belittle them with goofy antics. Go back to Alan Moore’s comic books, maybe take some inspiration from the second volume in which Moore has the League participate in the War of the Worlds (Wells, 1897) and for God’s sake do not promote the movie as “LXG”!
4 Fantastic Four
Another pick that is surely inevitable given Disney’s purchase of 20th Century Fox, I could go into a lot of detail about how the first family of Marvel Comics should be introduced into the Marvel Cinematic Universe (and hey, maybe I still will!) but, suffice it to say, the Fantastic Four really need a movie deserving of their longevity and popularity. There were things I liked about both of Tim Story’s movies, and even the much-maligned reboot by Josh Trank, but all three films failed to capture the essence of the Fantastic Four and really do them justice. This is a chance for Marvel Studios to make a film with actual responsible adults in it; bring in an older cast for Reed Richards and Susan Storm (Bruce Campbell is a great choice for Reed but may be a bit too old; I’d suggest Pierce Brosnan, if he isn’t used for Magneto), get a popular, utterly handsome guy in his mid-twenties-to-late-thirties for Johnny Storm (Zac Efron?), and use that patented Marvel CGI wizardry (preferably in conjunction with practical effects) to create a truly lifelike Thing (voiced by, I dunno, Danny DeVito?). Whatever they do, though, it is crucial (and I mean absolutely crucial) that they get Doctor Doom right (and I mean pitch perfect); Doom should be a premier villain in the MCU and they shouldn’t shy away from his mystical origins. Get someone who isn’t afraid to wear a mask the entire time and who has the presence and gravitas to pull off such an enigmatic role (again, I would go the older route, maybe try and bring in Arnold Vosloo?)
3 Spawn
Oh, Spawn, you’re so very nineties! A Spawn remake/reboot has also been kicking around for decades, with creator Todd McFarlane constantly banging on about how it’s being scripted, in production, coming soon, won’t feature Spawn much (which is insanity!), will be super dark, super scary, and loads of other talk but, until we see a poster, a trailer, and the film in cinemas it’s just that: talk. Spawn(Dippé, 1997) is not a great film; you could argue that it’s not even a good film. It’s rushed, sloppy, disjointed, and some of the effects have aged terribly. This is the reason we need a new movie, one that isn’t afraid to go dark, be super violent, and really do justice to the character and his original run. Take the effects work from Venom (Fleischer, 2018), go balls-deep with the violence and surreal nature of the concept, take notes from the excellent animated series, and bring in Denzel Washington to play the titular hellspawn and you could have a winning formula.
2 Hellraiser
Here’s another remake that’s been doing the rounds for a while. Despite all the talk and anticipation of a remake, however, it seems we’re doomed to getting ashcan sequels and direct-to-DVD releases that keep this franchise limping along on life support (would you believe that there are ten films in this series!?) Hellraiser makes the list because the original 1987 movie and its immediate sequels have not aged well; in fact, they have aged terribly. I applaud them for using practical effects and making the most of their obviously limited budget but it’s clear to see that this movie could be made so much better with modern filmmaking techniques. Indeed, one of the few good points of the later sequels is how much better the effects are and, done right, a Hellraiser remake could really surprise at the box office. So, I say to you: Go back to Hellraiser and Clive Barker’s original novel, look at the lore and legacy of the series, and put some time, effort, and money into making a truly nightmarish, surreal, and atmospheric horror movie. And if you’re not going to cast Doug Bradley as Pinhead, at least have him dub the lines or something.
1 Highlander
Oooh, boy, this film. Similar to Hellraiser, Highlander (Mulcahy, 1986) makes the list because it just doesn’t hold up; the effects are bad, the fight sequences are shit, and, thanks to all of the nonsense introduced in the sequels, the original movie is a laborious chore to sit through. Yet, the concept is a good one; the franchise clearly had some staying power as well, if the television series is anything to go by. However, we really need to look at the lore and iron out some specifics: what is the Prize? How many Immortals are there and will we address where they come from? What is the exact nature of the Quickening? Seriously, these concepts are so ill-defined in the original and bogged down with retcons and illogical additions in the sequels that I have no idea what’s going on. Either get a clear picture and make a decent fantasy film based on that or ignore some of the sequels and bring back Christopher Lambert in the mentor role; either way, you absolutely must cast Thomas Jane in the title role…and maybe Dave Bautista as the Kurrgan.
Released: 16 June 2011 Originally Released: 21 November 1998 Developer: Grezzo Original Developer: Nintendo EAD Original Version Also Available For: GameCube, Nintendo 64, Nintendo Switch, Nintendo Wii, Nintendo Wii U
The Background: I’ve talked before about how my first introduction to the Legend of Zelda series (Nintendo EAD/Various, 1986) was with The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening(ibid, 1993) on the original Game Boy, but even that brief experience was enough to suck me into the hype that surrounded Zelda’s highly anticipated jump to 3D. Development of Ocarina of Timebegan alongside other Nintendo 64 launch titles like Super Mario 64(Nintendo EAD, 1996) and was originally planned for the ill-fated 64DD add-on and was originally conceived to use a similar painting-based world progression as Super Mario 64. While series co-creator Shigeru Miyamoto spearheaded the development of an expansive world and versatile combat, it was director Yoshiaki Koizumi who championed the use of the Z trigger to target enemies and Takumi Kawagoe who crafted the cinematic cutscenes to convey the game’s epic narrative. Initially released alongside some limited edition gold cartridges, Ocarina of Time was a phenomenal success, regularly amassing perfect review scores. Reviews were unanimous in their praise and the game became an instant classic that has stood the test of time. Ocarina of Time was ported numerous times over the years but development of a remake for the Nintendo 3DS was first hinted at in 2010, with the team taking the time to meticulous recraft the game for a new generation of players. The project was undertaken by Grezzo, who purposely left some of the original bugs in the game as fan service and not only included but reworked the rarely-seen “Master Quest” mode to be more challenging for even seasoned players. Like the original, Ocarina of Time 3D was met with universal critical acclaim; reviews praised the graphical overhaul and timeless gameplay, and the sales and perfect scores were more than enough to justify Nintendo and Grezzo collaborating to remake its sequel.
The Plot: Kokiri boy Link is ecstatic to finally be assigned a fairy companion. However, Navi’s presence begins a sprawling adventure that sees Link realise his destiny to oppose the evil Gerudo King, Ganondorf. To do this, Link journeys through time to collect the mystical artifacts needed to rescue Princess Zelda and confront the King of Evil in his foreboding lair.
Gameplay: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D is a remastered version of the classic Nintendo 64 action/adventure game. Players assume the role of Link, a young elvish child in a green tunic whose name they can customise when starting a new save file, of which there are three. Link’s journey takes him all across the land of Hyrule, and through time itself, and the Nintendo 3DS version of the game makes this quest more accessible than ever thanks to some much-needed improvements to the control scheme. Although Young Link starts out with only the ability to automatically jump from ledges, crawl through gaps, lift and toss puts with A, and roll along to smash crates with the same button, he soon acquires his first sword, which is mapped to the B button. The jump to 3D vastly improves Link’s combat prowess; not only can you hold B down or rotate the control stick to unleash a Spin Attack, but Link will also swipe with a series of slashes and can even duck and jab at foes. To make combat even easier, Link is joined by a fairy companion, Navi, who will target any enemies, non-playable characters (NPCs), or points of interest with a press (or hold) of the Left bumper. You can consult Navi for advice on an enemy’s weakness, chat to NPCs from long distance, or use the control stick, B, and A to hop, back flip, and leap at enemies to deal additional damage. Once you acquire a shield, this is mapped to the Right bumper, allowing you to press and hold R to block incoming attacks (and, later reflect certain elemental beams). In place of the Nintendo 64’s C-buttons, players can now map items to the X and Y buttons or to two additional item slots on the touch screen. Similarly, Link’s ocarinas, camera controls, and inventory and map options are also displayed on the touch screen, giving you greater ease of access to everything you need.
Link’s world, arsenal, and options have been blown open by the expansive 3D engine.
The touchscreen also displays a map of the current area, a miniature version of which also appears on the main heads-up display (HUD), though you can toggle this on and off with the directional pad; his health (represented by hearts), magic meter, and current Rupees (the currency of Hyrule) are also displayed on the touchscreen, significantly decluttering the HUD. Key items you collect to advance the narrative will appear in your ‘Gear’ menu, while equippable items appear in the ‘Items’ menu, which you can customise to suit your preference. In addition to acting as your companion and aiding you in combat, Navi will frequently chime in to remind you of the plot of where you need to head next, ask if you need to take a break, or offer other hints. This can be annoying, especially for seasoned players, as are the constant interruptions from the mysterious owl Kaepora Gaebora, who pops up throughout Young Link’s journey to offer encouragement and advice. Thankfully, you can skip through their dialogue (or ignore Navi entirely, shutting her calls down by entering new areas) with the B button, though this version of the game also includes the ability to receive “visions” from special, obnoxious Sheikah Stones if you ever find yourself stuck. Thankfully, despite this handholding, the game remains as enjoyable as ever; now a fully realised 3D world, Hyrule is large and expansive and you’re free to explore as much as possible depending on what equipment you have. Link can enter water to swim along, for example, but won’t be able to dive until he acquires the Zora Scales, Zora’s Tunic, and Iron Boots. Similarly, destructible blocks, high temperatures, and impassable bridges will block your way until you find specific items or travel through time, though you can still explore much of the overworld field and surrounding areas right from the start.
The ocarina is part of the game’s time travel mechanic, which affords Link greater options as an adult.
One of the game’s biggest gimmicks is the titular ocarina; by touching the bottom screen, players can play magical tunes to talk to Link’s childhood friend, Saria, for more tips, warp across Hyrule, open new paths, or even make blocks appear or disappear. As you explore and talk to NPCs, such as the mysterious Shiek, you’ll learn more songs that allow you to change the environment, such as turning day to night or causing rain. Link’s quest is split into two distinct parts: first, as a child, he needs to locate the three Spiritual Stones. Then, after awakening as an adult, he can explore new regions of Hyrule in search of five Sage Medallions, all of which are necessary to first access the Temple of Time and then confront Ganon in the desolate future. Link will need to both fight, sneak, and talk his way to these goals; one of your first objectives when you leave Kokiri Forest is to sneak into Zelda’s Castle, a task accomplished only by staying out of sight of her inept guards. When in Kokiri Forest, Link will have to bypass a rolling boulder to get the Kokiri Sword and slap down some Rupees for his first rudimentary shield, before putting these weapons to the test to try and save the Great Deku Tree. Indeed, the first three dungeons lay the ground work for the puzzles and actions you will need to overcome throughout the game; you’ll be lighting Deku Sticks on fire to burn away cob webs, climbing walls and plunging to new levels, hopping to moving platforms, hitting, standing on, or weighing down switches, and defeating all enemies to acquire keys, maps, and compasses all with the goal of acquiring the dungeon’s weapon and defeating its boss. Young Link is eased into all this quite well; the challenge increases with each dungeon he enters, putting new obstacles such as a raging volcano, destructible walls, a hungry fish deity, and a stubborn Zora princess in his path. Although his options are limited as a child, Young Link is key to forging relationships in the future; you’ll only tame the wild Epona by visiting Lon Lon Ranch as a child, for example, navigating the confusing maze of the Lost Woods is far easier as a child, and it’s only by returning to the past that Link can complete a brain-melting paradox, venture into a spooky well, and acquire the Lens of Truth.
You’ll need both Links’ attributes to beat the game’s dungeons and enemies.
After acquiring the three Spiritual Stones, Link is sealed within the Light Temple until he’s old enough to wield the legendary Master Sword. Upon waking, he’s now older and tougher, but unable to use some of his childish items like the slingshot or boomerang. Adult Link, however, has access to a far greater arsenal of weapons, in addition to NPCs taking him seriously as a hero, though this is countered by the Temples he must conquering being longer and far tougher. Adult Link will explore strange winding corridors, rescue imprisoned Gorons, continuously alter water levels, hop to invisible platforms, and redirect sunlight in his quest for the Sage Medallions, frequently having to travel back to the past to help solve specific puzzles. He’ll also need to collect Silver Rupees to open gates, dissolve red ice, pound rusted switches, lift gigantic blocks and columns, and dodge spinning blades to progress. Adult Link also has the benefit of being big enough to ride Epona, who greatly speeds up foot travel; you can call Epona at any time when in Hyrule Field and mount her with A, speeding her up with taps of A for as long as you have carrots available and clearing fences with ease. If you ever need a break from all the adventuring, there’s a fishing hole available, shooting galleries to earn Rupees and weapon upgrades, a fun (if erratic) variation on bowling, and numerous side quests to complete to keep you playing.
Graphics and Sound: When it first released on the Nintendo 64, Ocarina of Time was the pinnacle of what the console could achieve; a large open(-ish) world with many varied locations, a sprawling narrative, and numerous NPCs and enemies to interact with. It had a day and night cycle, with skeletal enemies and ghosts spawning at night, areas changed as you journeyed through time, and Link was at his most expressive yet, swinging his sword, shivering and sneezing, or gasping when low on health. Unfortunately, the Nintendo 64 version hasn’t aged all that well; the graphics were quickly surpassed by its successor, which fixed multiple issues with Link’s model and other textures, and the presentation was soon noticeably lacking against subsequent games, though the performance and sheer impressiveness of the original still holds up overall. This version of the game gives Ocarina of Time a much-needed graphical overhaul; not only are the menus made far more intuitive, allowing you to quickly apply tunics and boots to Link, but all the character models (especially Link’s) have been given an upgrade to be more expressive and detailed, even on the Nintendo 3DS’s smaller screen. Speaking of which, there’s obviously the option to enable the 3D features of the system, though I’d recommend leaving it off as it can really make your eyes hurt after a while and it distracts from all the funky new textures and colourful revamp given to Hyrule, the text, and basically every aspect of the game.
Hyrule’s colourful and ever-changing locales have been given a much-needed graphical boost.
Unfortunately, this hasn’t extended to expanding upon the admittedly barren Hyrule Field; while an impressive overworld, bolstered by a triumph theme song, Hyrule Field quickly becomes annoying to cross through even with the benefit of Epona and there’s not much happening there even in the grim future. Thankfully, the game’s towns and regions make up for this, Hyrule Market, Kakariko Village, and Goron City are all bustling urban environments with lots of back alleys, houses, and nooks and crannies to explore and you’ll marvel at the beauty of Zora’s Domain and the magical wonder of Kokiri Forest. Even better, every area always has ore toit; each opens up when you acquire new equipment or return as an adult, allowing you to brave the intense heat of Death Mountain, dive to the bottom of Lake Hylia, and tackle to hazardous Gerudo Desert. Each area is full of lively NPCs, from condescending guards to overbearing monarchs and mischievous forest imps. Each will flesh out the world and offer clues, both vague and explicit, on how to progress, with some even tasking you with fetching or delivering an item for them and others, like Mido, showing outright aggression towards you. Over the course of your adventure, the lives of Hyrule’s inhabitants and the nature of the world will noticeably change; in the seven-year time jump, the grotesque Dampé will die, Hyrule Market will fall into desolate ruin, construction work will be completed, Lake Hylia will dry up, and Zora’s Domain will be irreversibly frozen. Sometimes, you can impact these events, such as restoring the waters to Lake Hylia, reducing the windmill operator to tears, and restoring the family in the House of Skulltula, and other times monuments to Ganon’s evil will remain in the world, like the deceased Great Deku Tree and boiling lava pit where Zelda’s Castle once stood.
Dungeons are more distinct than ever and the cutscenes and models have been nicely retextured.
Link’s journey also takes him into a variety of dungeons; the first three are visually very distinct, with you exploring the cobweb-infesting insides of the aforementioned tree, venturing into a dangerous rocky cavern, and trudging through the insides of Lord Jabu-Jabu while carrying (and tossing) the self-entitled Princess Ruto. Puzzle elements such as switches, platforms, and gated areas are personalised in these dungeons and noticeably more uniform when tackling the elemental Temples as Adult Link, though these make up for this by being bigger, more challenging, and no less visually distinct. Each dungeon has a memorable theme assigned to it, whether strangely upbeat or darkly ominous, and Link must utilise all his arsenal to best them, including returning as a child to solve puzzles or acquire new items. No two Temples are the same here; you’ll be tracking down naughty Poes and pushing puzzle blocks together in the Forest Temple, hopping over lava and vertically traversing the Fire Temple to free Gorons, desperately sinking, swimming, and altering the water level in the Water Temple (something made much easier by this version’s colour-coded areas), crossing an eery river on a large barge and uncovering invisible hazards in the Shadow Temple, and using sunlight and time travel to overcome the Spirit Temple. In addition, there are many smaller challenges to overcome; you can uncover fairy fountains to gain helpful buffs, endure the frigid dangers of the Ice Cavern, sneak around Gerudo’s Fortress sniping the all-female guards from afar to rescue the construction workers, and push gravestones to uncover secrets. While characters (and especially Link) will grunt, laugh, and make rudimentary sounds, all of the game’s dialogue and story is told through text, though it’s no less engaging, and each cutscene grabs your attention, with the tale of the three Goddesses, Link’s triumphant rescue of Epona, and the emotional reunion between him and Zelda being just three standout moments.
Enemies and Bosses: Almost all of the franchise’s classic enemies make their 3D debut here, with Link slashing at bat-like Keese, dropping bombs to destroy crazed Armos statues, reflecting projectiles back at Octoroks, avoiding the squeeze of Wallmasters, frantically chasing down Leevers, and cutting Tekties in two. Many of Link’s enemies are memorable for their disturbing nature; Gibdos and ReDeads, for example, will shamble and crush you with their embrace, screaming to freeze you in place, while disgusting Like Likes will shallow you (and your shield and optional tunic) whole, and Cuccos will take a spiteful revenge if attacked. Many enemies are specifically designed to take advantage of Link’s new combat abilities; you’ll engage the formidable Stalfos, Lizalfos, and Dinolfos in sword combat, striking when their guard is down and defending against their sword swings, and similarly only be able to attack the Wolfos when they’re not defending against your sword strikes. Likewise, you must wait for the Skulltula’s to show their bellies to destroy them, Poes will only be vulnerable for a short time, club- and lance-wielding Mobiles cannot be attacked directly and require the use of stealth and your ranged weapons, which will also keep you from getting shocked by Biris, and be temporarily unable to use your weapons upon touching bubbles. Other enemies, such as Fire Keeze and Dodongos, can set you on fire, burning any wooden equipment you have attached, freeze you in place, or are disguised as regular objects like doors to keep you on your toes.
Young Link’s dungons and bosses will expertly teach you ky gameplay mechanics.
Young Link will have to defeat three bosses to obtain the Spiritual Stones which, like the dungeons themselves, set a precedent for the game as they are best fought with the weapons you obtain in their lair. First up is Queen Gohma, a massive, slobbering spider-like creature that scuttles about on the ceiling, drops Gohma Larva to attack you, and lurches or drops on you. Fortunately, you can shoot a Deku Seed at her big, glaring eye to stun her, easily allowing you to destroy her with a few sword swings. King Dodongo is a little tougher as he’s much bigger and rolls around an arena with lava in the middle. When he pauses to breath fire at you, you need to toss a bomb in his mouth to stun him for an attack, with the biggest issue here being avoiding his cannonball-like rolling. After chasing a Big Octo around a rotating spiked platform and slashing at its ass, you’ll battle Barinade within Lord Jabu-Jabu. This pulsating, electrical monstrosity protects itself with Giant Biri, which must be destroyed to expose its core, and blast of electricity from its artery-like appendages. Your best bet is to hang back with your guard up and continuously toss your boomerang to take care of Barinade’s defences, then leap in sword attacks when its stunned. Later, Young Link will need to venture to the Bottom of the Well to retrieve the Lens of Truth, which is guarded by the unsettling Dead Hand, which teleports in a burst of dust and holds you in place with a field of disembodied hands while it closes in to take a bite. Similarly, Young Link will battle an Iron Knuckle in the Spirit Temple, though this fight is both slightly easier and slightly harder than battling them as an adult. It’s easier because Young Link can completely hide under his Hylian Shield, but harder because his Kokiri Sword does way less damage; you also can’t get too close as the Iron Knuckles deals massive damage with its axe, though it can be tricked into destroying nearby columns to restore your health.
Thankfully, the versatile combat system is capable of tackling even the most monstrous bosses.
Adult Link has a far greater challenge ahead of him as he must battle five monstrous bosses to acquire the Sage Medallions, with each Temple also sheltering at least one mini boss. The four Poe Sisters will give you the runaround in the Forest Temple before leading the way to Phantom Ganon, an apparition of the King of Evil who randomly appears from paintings strewn around the arena. Pick the right painting and fire an arrow at him until he ditches his steed and then engage in a game of dead man’s volley, smashing his magical projectiles back at him to bring him to his knees, but make sure you keep your distance as these exchanges intensify very quickly. After chucking bombs at the Flare Dancer and avoiding its explosive demise in the Fire Temple, you’ll take on the fire-spewing dragon Volvagia. Volvagia will fly around the small island, diving into and bursting from pools of magma strewn about; when it does, you’ll need to avoid its flame-like whips and smash it with the Megaton Hammer, then take shelter on the climbable walls of the island as Volvagia causes rocks to rain down. In the Water Temple, you’ll have a surreal encounter with Dark Link that’s easily won with the Megaton Hammer or Biggoron’s Sword before taking on the most annoying boss of the game, Morpha. Morpha is a sentient nucleus that brings the arena water to life, sprouting tentacles that will grab and throw you into the spiked walls that line the room, and which can only be damaged by snagging to with the Longshot and pummelling it before it can hop away. After besting another Dead Hand in the Shadow Temple, you’ll battle perhaps the strangest boss of the game, Bongo Bongo, a grotesque beast that can only be seen with the Lens of Truth. This battle is made tricky by the arena floor, which will vibrate as Bongo Bongo hits it, ruining your aim as you shoot arrows at its hands to stun them or its eye to open it to a more meaningful counterattack,
All of Link’s weapons and skills will lead him to a climatic confrontation with the King of Evil!
After overcoming another Iron Knuckles as Adult Link (revealed to be Nabooru in disguise), Link will battle Ganon’s surrogate witch-mothers, Kotake (who controls ice) and Koume (who controls fire). As they fly well out of range, you’ll need to use the Mirror Shield to reflect one element back at the other to bring them down; after enough hits, they’ll fuse together into the strangely alluring Twinrova and wield both elements. This time, you need to absorb three consecutive hits of each element on your Mirror Shield to blast them with a flame or ice burst, all while avoiding being charbroiled or frozen solid. Once you have all the Sage Medallions, the Six Sages will create a magical bridge for you to enter Ganon’s Castle, which contains mini challenges themed around each Temple, more Iron Knuckles, and a two-stage showdown with the King of Evil himself. In the first phase, you need to hang right back and avoid falling down to the lower levels as it’s a long journey back up to his throne room; Navi is useless here but you can still L-Target Ganondorf, reflecting his bolts back at him in another game of dead man’s volley that’s actually easier than when fighting Phantom Ganon as Ganondorf is largely stationary (though he does have a more powerful multi-blast attack). Damage Ganondorf enough and he’ll bring the whole castle down, forcing Link to run for safety as Princess Zelda magically opens gates, before transforming into the gargantuan, rampaging pig-beast, Ganon. This fight is ridiculously easy, though, even with the scripted loss of the Master Sword; simply roll between Ganon’s legs when he swipes at you and attack his tail with either the Megaton Hamme or the Biggoron’s Sword until you can retrieve the Master Sword. Eventually, Zelda will hold him in place with her magic, meaning all you have to do is land the final blow with the Master Sword to banish Ganondorf and restore peace to Hyrule.
Power-Ups and Bonuses: As ever, you can replenish Link’s health using hearts, fairies, or potions; enemies, crates, and bushes will drop hearts to restore your health bit by bit or you can assemble four Heart Containers by searching about, or gain an extra heart with each boss you defeat. Fairies and their larger variants will also restore your health and you can even capture them in one (or all, as I do) of the game’s bottles to restore some health when you’re defeated; similarly, potions will also replenish your health in the same way. You’ll also find Magic Jars to refill your magic meter, which drains as you cast spells, and Great Fairies will increase your meter just as they teach you these spells. These power-up your Spin Attack, allow you to cast a blaming attack, let you setup a mid-dungeon teleport that’s super useful in the Water Temple, and surround you with a temporary protective shield. Some weapons, like the elemental arrows, and items like the Lens of Truth also drain your magic, so use them sparingly to avoid being caught short.
Link’s weapons, gear, and magic can all be upgraded to counter new enemies and areas.
Many of Link’s trademark items and weapons are featured here, either in chests, gifted to you by NPCs, or bought from shops. You can fire Deku Nuts and arrows with the slingshot and Fairy Bow, respectively, with the latter also able to fire flaming, freezing, and light arrows for additional damage, retrieve items, hit switches, and stun or damage enemies with the boomerang, and cross distances by latching onto special surfaces with the handy-dandy Hookshot. The Megaton Hammer will activate rusted switches, the iron Boots let you sink to and walk on the bottom of lakes, the Hover Boots let you briefly run on thin air at the cost of your traction, and you can toss bombs, let loose Bombchus, or stun enemies with a blinding Deku Nut. Link can also earn (or buy) coloured tunics to withstand extreme heat and breath underwater, dive deeper with Zora Scales, and acquire swords so powerful they need to be held with both hands. Additionally, Link can acquire three different shields and upgrade his wallet, ammo, and the range of the Hookshot by completing mini games and exploring dungeons, as well as use bracelets and gauntlets to heave large objects with ease. Secret grottos and areas can be sought out once you earn the Shard of Agony by destroying Gold Skulltulas, Link can rescue Epona from the greedy Ingo by outracing him as an adult, and Young Link can buy and plant Magic Beans that will sprout into floating leaf platforms in the future to find yet more goodies.
Additional Features: There are thirty-six Heart Containers to find here, which will increase your health to twenty hearts. This can then be doubled by visiting a Great Fairy outside Ganon’s Castle, who will effectively half the damage you take from enemies. There are also 100 Gold Skulltula’s hidden all over the game and they’re well worth seeking out, at least to start with, as destroying increments of ten will restore the family in the House of Skulltula and award helpful gear like a bigger wallet, the Shard of Agony, and a Heart Piece, though the final reward of a Huge Rupee is very disappointing. Both Young and Adult Link can choose to complete trading quests; Young Link’s is based around trading masks with various NPCs, sometimes being stiffed on the sale, all to acquire the Mask of Truth so he can talk to Gossip Stone, while Adult Link’s trading sequence is tougher, but yields a far better reward; by racing across Hyrule without warping, often against a tight time limit, and trading items back and forth, you can eventually acquire the unbreakable, super powerful Biggoron’s Sword that makes mincemeat of enemies and bosses. If you can’t be bothered and don’t mind wasting your Rupees, you can buy the destructible, nigh-useless Giant’s Knife instead, but this is a complete waste of time. It’s also worth completing the shooting galleries, even though the Gerudo one can be tricky due to being an auto-shooter and the tight window for landing bullseyes, as these will increase the ammo for your ranged weapons. Similarly, you can take on the Gerudo Training Ground, solving puzzles and besting enemies for keys to grab the Ice Arrows, but this is entirely optional and mainly for completion’s sake.
Hunt down Gold Skulltulas, test yourself against the bosses, or take on the “Master Quest” challenge!
This version of the game comes with some lucrative additional features; while it unfortunately doesn’t add back in the Sword Beam or Unicorn Fountain, Ocarina of Time 3D includes a “Boss Challenge”, accessible from Link’s house after clearing the Forest Temple, which is essentially a boss rush against all the game’s bosses against a time limit and with limited health and items. However, a far more substantial inclusion is “Master Quest”, which is unlocked upon first beating them game. Although previously included in the “limited edition” releases of The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (Nintendo EAD, 2002), this much tougher version of the game has been tweaked here to mirror the entire game. “Master Quest” also noticeably mixes up the puzzles and enemy placements, offering a substantial challenge even for seasoned players as tougher enemies and more difficult puzzles appear as early as Kokiri Forest; even the Gold Skulltula locations have changed, and you can also test yourself against the “Boss Challenge” for this mode, too, which stands as a much appreciated inclusion for long-time players of Ocarina of Time. Finally, you can still teach a friendly scarecrow a custom song, win yourself a cow by racing Ingo, hunt down the Big Poes haunting Hyrule Field, try and snag the elusive Hylian Loach, and this version of the game gives the option of using the Nintendo 3DS’s gyroscopic controls (which, again, I wouldn’t recommend), and removes and changes some of the blood effects.
The Summary: When I was a kid, there were a handful of games everyone owned for the Nintendo 64 and Ocarina of Time was one of time. Although I’d only had a brief flirtation with the franchise when Ocarina of Time released, I knew it was a big deal as all the gaming magazines hyped it up and it was exciting to delve into this sprawling, action-packed, nuanced adventure. I replayed Ocarina of Time over and over, finding every secret and obtainable item possible, even exploring it with an Action Replay to wring more out of it. It was a seminal title, one that hooked me on the franchise forever more, and this 3DS revamp is everything the original was plus more. The graphical overhaul is very much appreciated, to the point where I’m sad that this port is stuck on the 3DS’s small screen because Ocarina of Time has never looked better. The quality-of-life features offered by the touchscreen and the additional hints are great, addressing every issue gamers had with the original version and offering even more content, including the fabled “master Quest” challenge. While I would’ve liked to see the game tweaked and expanded like its successor, Ocarina of Time 3D is still the definitive version of this classic game in my eyes. Being able to play on the go, reliving those memories and conquering those challenges and losing myself in this immersive fantasy adventure is a thrill that’s only gotten better with age. Everything from the memorable NPCs, the fun side quests, then intuitive and surprisingly deep combat, to the massive bosses, the quirky humour, and the entertaining time travel mechanics keep me as hooked now as they did as a teenager, and I still regularly plug this cartridge in to relive those memories. Honestly, you don’t need me to say it; Ocarina of Time has more than earned its flowers and all I’ll say here is that I highly recommend you add this version to your library as soon as possible, or dust off your Nintendo 64 and start a new playthrough today!
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 5 out of 5.
Fantastic
Have you ever played the Nintendo 3DS remaster of Ocarina of Time? If so, what did you think to the graphical overhaul and additional features included? Would you like to see this version ported to the Nintendo Switch to make it more accessible? Did you own Ocarina of Time back in the day? If so, which of the game’s bosses and dungeons was your most or least favourite? What did you think to “Master Quest”; did you manage to beat it? Which Zelda titles would you like to see remade in the future? I’d love to hear your memories of Ocarina of Time so leave a comment below or on my social media, and be sure to check out my other Zelda content across the site!
Released: October 2018 Director: David Gordon Green Distributor: Universal Pictures Budget: Approximately $10 to $15 million Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak, Will Patton, Haluk Bilginer, and James Jude Courtney
Plot: Forty years after surviving an attack by serial killer Michael Myers (Courtney), Laurie Strode (Curtis) has become a recluse, alienating her entire family as she prepares for Michael’s inevitable return. When Michael escapes from captivity, Laurie is forced to confront both her past and her worst fears.
Background: In 1978, legendary director John Carpenter brought us Halloween for the first time and, with it, effectively gave birth to what became known as the slasher genre of horror movies. Make no mistake, without Halloween we may never have seen the popular portrayal of masked, silent killers stalking suburban teenagers, and the film created and popularised many other troupes of the genre for years to come. Given Halloween’s success, it is perhaps of no surprise that a sequel soon followed. Halloween II (Rosenthal, 1981) continued the story, picking up immediately where the first film left off and introducing the idea that Michael Myers and Laurie Strode were brother and sister. Following this, a whole slew of sequels soon followed, with each one adding new dimensions to Michael’s backstory and diluting his mysterious nature. It soon reached the point where Michael’s backstory was so convoluted and confusing that the only things worth watching about the films were the kills and the Donald Pleasence’s scene-stealing performance. Rob Zombie’s 2007 remake was met with mixed results, though I quite enjoyed how violent and insane this film was. Despite earning a sequel (which was inarguably much, much worse), Zombie’s turn with the franchise effectively left it dead in the water. Now, forty years after the original movie, Carpenter, Curtis, and many of their collaborators have returned to the franchise with a direct sequel to the 1978 original that ignores every other entry in the series. Of course, this isn’t the first time this has happened; before Zombie’s remake, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (Miner, 1998) ignored every entry after Halloween II and even returned Curtis to her famous role for a final showdown with her brother. As a result, this new sequel feels largely unnecessary, but does it return the franchise back to its genre-defining roots and throw further dirt onto the grave of Michael Myers?
The Review: As mentioned, Halloween takes place forty years after the end of Halloween (the 1978 one…not the 2007 one…) and slightly alters the ending of Carpenter’s original; Myers was apprehended shortly after his killing spree and has been incarcerated under the care of Dr. Ranbir Sartain (Bilginer). In all that time, Michael has not uttered a single word despite Sartain’s attempts to reach him. Two British podcasters arrive to try to learn more about Michael’s motives but are unsuccessful; they are equally unable to convince Laurie Strode to visit Michael before he is transferred. Traumatised by her experiences decades earlier, Laurie has become a recluse who has shut herself off from the world and her family in preparation for Michael’s return; however, while her relationship with her daughter, Karen (Greer) is strained, she is much closer to the granddaughter, Allyson (Matichak). When news breaks that Michael’s transport bus has crashed and Michael has escaped, Laurie is forced to try and convince her family to return to her fortified house for safety so she, aided by Officer Frank Hawkins (Patten), can hunt Michael down and end him once and for all.
Despite their advanced age, both Michael and Laurie are more capable than ever.
Halloween is a masterful return to form for a franchise that has, to say the least, lost its way through numerous sequels, knock-offs, and convoluted additions to the narrative. Rather than worry about any of that, the film ignores everything after Halloween II, including the Carpenter-crafted idea that Laurie and Michael are related, and returns Michael to a mysterious serial killer. Michael’s face, though clearly scarred from his many battles in 1978, is kept hidden either behind his trademark mask or though clever editing so we never truly see his face and the emphasis on character’s desperately trying to get him to speak and explain his motives keeps Michael as a mysterious, unstoppable force of nature rather than a puppet or spelling out his motivations. Halloween closely apes Carpenter’s original, returning to many of the same themes and even recreating shots from new perspectives to bring perhaps the best and most effective sequel in the franchise, and marries this with some truly violent kills. While nowhere near the level of Zombie’s splatter-gore, this Halloween portrays Michael as being more powerful than ever, capable of twisting heads around backwards and stamping heads into mush. The kills are sudden and violent, with many taking place off screen and most of them being completely random (even more random than the kills in the original movie), which only adds to their horrific nature. This is Laurie’s movie, first and foremost, and she is portrayed as being very damaged from her experiences but also incredibly well prepared. Her house is rigged with flood lights, booby traps, and guns and other weapons to arm herself with against Michael but, at the same time, she’s clearly very vulnerable and afraid. In H20, Laurie was ruled by her fear and desperate to hide away, only becoming a proactive individual once Michael returned and she was forced to face him. Here, though, Laurie has been preparing her entire life to face Michael again and kill him, for better or worse.
While the kids did okay I couldn’t buy into the random knock-off of Dr. Loomis.
Curtis is joined by a decent supporting cast, who are all written pretty well and naturally and appear believable. More time could perhaps have been devoted to Karen’s equally-traumatic upbringing, as this is only really touched upon, and many of Allyson’s friends are nothing more than disposable filler, but they’re fine for the most part. Sartain, however, is a poor substitute for Loomis (Laurie even outs him as “the new Loomis” at one point, which was a bit too on the nose for my tastes); even Malcolm McDowell’s Loomis wasn’t as obtrusive to the plot as this guy, who gets a whole sideplot that really never goes anywhere. And that’s quite a problem at a few points, really. There are characters who have little impact on the plot, plot threads that are underdeveloped and just dropped or don’t go anywhere, and plot holes that go against what the film has already established (for example, Laurie’s house is all decked out and fortified but she doesn’t flood the inside with lights and instead prefers to sneak around in pitch blackness). It also doesn’t help that we have seen much of this film already from other entries in the franchise, particularly Halloween, Halloween II, and Halloween H20. While it may do a lot of things well, it doesn’t change the fact that this entry is perhaps the least necessary of all the sequels.
The Nitty-Gritty: It’s Halloween, so there really isn’t too much to spoil; Michael escapes, goes on a killing spree, and evil is vanquished in the end (…or isit?!) The biggest change here is that Michael and Laurie are no longer brother and sister, which is apparently being heralded as a good thing but I kind of disagree. John Carpenter created this as part of his forced involvement in Halloween II and, while he has since lamented this addition and regretted it, it has been a pivotal plot point of the franchise ever since and disregarding it, and outright mocking it as Allyson does at one point, leaves a sour taste in my mouth. Without this motivation, Michael returns to being an emotionless, remorseless killer with no objective other than to kill. However, the 1978 Halloween seemed to suggest that he had a particular fondness for killing babysitters and teenagers, especially girls, but here he just…kills everyone and anyone he comes across. Which is fine but, as I say, seems way more random than originally depicted; I always liked the idea that Michael’s attacks seemed random but were premeditated and methodical in some way, but that no longer seems the case.
This certainly was the Shape of a decent Halloween film…
The big twist of this movie is that Dr. Sartain actually turns out to be a complete nutjob; he suddenly stabs Hawkins to death in an attempt to “feel” what Michael feels when he kills and even briefly wears Michael’s mask. It was at this point that I was really worried as, for a moment, it seemed as though Sartain was going to take over as the villain of the film. Instead, he is summarily executed by Michael only a short time later; it seemed like they were in cahoots and that Sartain had been aiding Michael but, no…he just went nuts and then got killed and that as it. It was such an out-of-nowhere twist and was dropped so quickly that it really makes you question what the purpose was at all. Sartain should have died in the bus crash as he really wasn’t integral to the plot at all; between both Laurie and Hawkins we had enough of a Loomis type of character without Sartain clogging up screen time. Perhaps if he had died in the crash instead, more time could have been spent on developing Karen’s character, which was sorely lacking; she doesn’t want anything to do with her mother because of a hard upbringing, but it was hardly abusive or traumatic.
The Summary: Halloween is an entertaining return to form for the series; Michael returns to his murderous ways as an unstoppable force of nature and the franchise appears to be back on track, rather than being bogged down in trying to add new kinks to the narrative. It’s easily the best Halloween sequel we’ve had in a long time but, for me, seems so unnecessary that I can’t, in all honesty, rate it too high. It retreads familiar ground and, while it seems new and fresh since it’s been so long since we saw this from the franchise, it’s still the same ground we have seen before, and better in many ways, so maybe it would be better recommended for those more unfamiliar with the franchise. For me, this movie was already told with Halloween H20, which is one of the stronger entries in the franchise in my view. It really allowed Laurie to gain some closure and put an end to Michael’s threat but, instead, we have to tread the same ground again only this time it’s far more ambiguous. Laurie manages to trap Michael in her basement and sets it, and her whole house, on fire, which appears to have forever killed Michael but, of course, Michael mysteriously vanishes and his body is not seen so the assumption is that he could still return for more kills (though, I still prefer the visual of Laurie lopping his head off with an axe; it was the definitive end we needed).
Surprising no-one, I’m sure, but I have been a big, big fan of South Park (Stone and Parker, 1997 to present) since it first started airing on television. Over the years, the show has gone from strength to strength and, even though the last couple of seasons haven’t been as good as others (the show’s fascination on giving Randy such a large role at the expense of the kids is a little annoying), I still make an effort to tune in when new episodes air and appreciate how Matt Stone and Trey Parker have tried to do new things with their controversial series to spice things up a bit. South Park has, however, had a tumultuous history when it comes to videogame adaptations. Back in the day, for some unknown reason, the show was first adapted into a first-person shooter; South Park (Iguana Entertainment/Acclaim Entertainment, 1998) allowed players to control Stan, Kyle, Kenny, or Cartman as they traversed a number of landscapes practically swamped in fog as they battled against a slew of enemies inspired by the first series of the show. It was…okay…but hardly evocative of what the series was known for. Following this, South Park dabbled with a videogame genres, including a quiz/party game in South Park: Chef’s Luv Shack (Acclaim Studios Austin/Acclaim Entertainment, 1999) and a pretty entertaining kart racer with South Park Rally (Tantalus Interactive/Acclaim Entertainment, 1999), before striking gold with the fantasy/RPG genre in South Park: The Stick of Truth(Obsidian Entertainment/Ubisoft, 2014).
Stick of Truth was a great title let down only by its length.
Stick of Truth benefitted from three very simply ideas: simple but surprisingly deep controls and turn-based gameplay mechanics, a close collaborating with Stone and Parker on the content of the title, and presenting itself as a continuation and extension of the show. If there was one thing going against Stick of Truth, it was that it was too short; I was perfectly happy with how easy the videogame was, as it meant playing through as a breeze and extremely fun, but it definitely felt like it ended a few hours too short. Luckily, Stick of Truth was received well enough to justify a sequel; it took a while but we finally saw this in the form of South Park: The Fractured But Whole (Ubisoft San Francisco/Ubisoft, 2017), which was directly tied into season twenty-one of the show. Picking up pretty much the very next day from the ending of Stick of Truth, Fractured But Whole sees the boys ditch the fantasy game they were playing in favour of creating their own superhero franchise; your avatar, the New Kid, is then drafted into Coon and Friends and charged with proving himself (or herself…) once again.
When Scrambles goes missing, Coon and Friends assemble!
The Coon and Friends have a simple objective: find the lost cat, Scrambles, and be the most successful superhero franchise in town. Opposing them are the Freedom Pals, who want exactly the same thing but refuse to follow Cartman’s lead, and various other enemies such as the Sixth Graders, the malevolent Crab People, homeless bums, ninjas, and waitresses from Raisens. However, due to the New Kid’s very real superpowers and mysterious origins, the kids soon become embroiled in a plot by Mitch Conner to take over the town using cat pee and end up travelling through time in order to set things right.
There’s plenty to do in South Park.
Technically speaking, Fractured But Whole isn’t much different from Stick of Truth; all of South Park is once again available to explore, with some new additions like SoDoSoPa, the Shi Tpa Town, and Mephisto’s laboratory, and some exclusions, such as the South Park Mall and Canada. The town is full of non-playable characters, including all of the recognisable and familiar faces from the show, and you are encouraged to interact with them all to gain access to side quests or take a selfie to post on Coonstagram, increase your followers, and therefore improve the reputation and reach of Coon and Friends.
Combat now involves navigating a grid.
The turn-based mechanics of Stick of Truth return but with a twist; the awkward move wheel and restrictive battlefield are gone, replaced with a simple horizontal interface and a grid that players can freely move about. The party has also increased from two to four (or even five or six, in some cases), allowing for more varied combat, and attacks can be targeted against groups of enemies across the grid to deal additional or knockback damage. It’s a great overhaul that allows for a real sense of strategy and thought to be put into early battles; once you have levelled up enough and mastered the game, however, battling becomes less about strategy and more about using the most powerful attacks to sweep the opponent as quickly as possible. The gameplay remains as simple as before but, as with Stick of Truth, the mechanics cane be surprisingly deep. Players can pre-emptively fart on or strike enemies for a turn or combat advantage, inflict bleeding, burning, vomiting, freezing, or confusion upon opponents, and are encouraged to use a variety of different abilities to win battles. Some enemies, for example, are immune to status afflictions; some bosses cannot be attacked directly and must have enemies hit into them to damage them; and some battles involve the player being pursued by an invincible opponent.
You can mix and match from a variety of superhero classes.
As before, players can choose from a number of classes, now based on popular superhero tropes; the New Kid can be a Brawler or a Speedster, or maybe you’d prefer to be a Cyborg or a Psychic. Each brings different abilities to the combat and results in a funny little training simulation in which Cartman amends and expands upon your simple and crude backstory. Eventually, as you progress, you can dual and even multi-class, gaining access to every available class and all the moves associated with each. You can only assign three moves and one super move, however, so choosing what suits your play style is key. Battling earns you experience points, a handful of cash, items, Artefacts and DNA Strands. As you do no equip weapons like in Stick of Truth, these last two can be equipped to the New Kid to increase or decrease certain attributes (Strength, Health, etc) or affect your abilities, and those of your party, in combat. Eventually it comes down to equipping the most powerful of these but your experience may vary; I always favour boosting attack power and health over speed, but there’s plenty of choice here.
Gotta find those Yaoi pictures.
You can also buy and/or pick up various items and junk all around the town to be used in the game’s deep crafting system; this is where you will craft health, revives, power-ups, mission-specific items, and even Artefacts. It’s fun to explore and pick up everything you see and the cost of crafting these items decreases the more you play and the more you invest. You can search every square inch for yaoi pictures of Tweek and Craig, which replace the Chinpokomon collectables from Stick of Truth, unlock buddy assist moves to clear lava (red Lego bricks) and reach new areas, and learn new fart techniques to assist you in opening new areas, advancing the plot, or for use in combat,
You can change your profile at any time, that’s fine.
The player is given complete freedom to design their avatar from the ground up; the New Kid, silent as always, is completely customisable, from the type of hair or headwear you want to the superhero outfit and gloves. You are also tasked with filling out the character’s profile; this involves talking with Mr. Mackey at various points to determine your gender, race, phobias, and sexual orientation; while these don’t necessarily massive impact how the game is played and can be altered at any time, choosing to have a black avatar is set to be the game’s Hard mode, which is fitting for South Park’s controversial sense of humour. Fractured But Whole is a big, involved title, easily answering my desire for a long gameplay experience through the main story campaign. While the plot is arguably not as strong near the end (the finale just kind of…happens…and the game ends), the story is an enjoyable and fun experience. Just wandering around town, looting through people’s houses and playing the toilet mini game is a blast and, like before, it really is like playing an episode of the show.
There’s some decent DLC available.
This time around, we also got some quite substantial downloadable content; not only can you unlock addition costumes and gear from Ubisoft’s Club, you can also pay to download a combat simulator and two additional story-based campaigns. One sees you uncovering a mystery at Lake Tardicaca, the other sees you battling vamp kids at Casa Bonita. Both are lengthy and involved, bringing new character classes and abilities to the entire game, and well worth the purchase. Also, if you’re lucky enough to buy the game with the code inside of it, you can download a digital copy of Stick of Truth when you purchase the title, making this a no-brainer for any South Park fan.
Once again, a solid experience overall.
In the end, Fractured But Whole is everything Stick of Truth was and more. Some things are missing or not as prominent but the additions far outweigh the exclusions; the environments, characters, and writing are all classic South Park, making for an extremely fun experience, especially if, like me, you prefer your RPGs to be a brisk stroll rather than a jungle expedition. This is the way videogame adaptations or tie-ins should be produced, being as close to the source material as possible while still being accessible to all players, making for a win/win experience all around.
Released: October 2018 Director: Ruben Fleischer Distributor: Sony Pictures Releasing Budget: $100 million Stars: Tom Hardy, Michelle Williams, and Riz Ahmed
The Plot: Disgraced reporter Eddie Brock (Hardy) is bonded with a psychotic symbiotic alien lifeform and becomes a superhuman anti-hero forced to choose between protecting the innocent and enacting revenge.
The Background: A Venom spin-off had been in the works since Spider-Man 3 (Raimi, 2007), if you can believe that. Sony, once a studio capable of making good decisions and responsible for kicking off the modern superhero crazy with Sami Raimi’s first two Spider-Man movies (2002; 2004), have been determined to produce a Venom movie, even after the character was unceremoniously killed off in Spider-Man 3, and when the Amazing Spider-Man (Webb, 2012; 2014) series was ended prematurely, and now, when the rights to Spider-Man are shared with Marvel Studios. This means that, while Sony can produce spin-offs of Spider-Man characters like Venom, it doesn’t look like they can actually include Tom Holland’sversion of the web-head. This has created some confusion, even amongst the two studios, with some at Sony stating that Venom exists adjacent to the Marvel Cinematic Universe and others proclaiming that it is a standalone story, and still others claiming that it’s both! Seemingly inspired by the success of R-rated, violent superheroes like Wade Wilson/Deadpool and Logan/Wolverine, Sony fast-tracked Venom and brought the production back to life, even managing to snag Tom Hardy in the process. Unfortunately, it seems that, at the last minute, someone at Sony lost their balls and, rather than a violent R-rated affair, Venom is more a watered down, studio-friendly version of the character in order to sell more tickets.
The Review: Venom takes inspiration from three prominent arcs of the character’s self-titled series: Lethal Protector (Michelinie, 1993), Separation Anxiety (Mackie, 1994-1995), and Planet of the Symbiotes (Michelinie, 1995), whilst also taking some inspiration from the character’s origins and portrayal in the Ultimate Spider-Man (Bendis, 2000). This means that Venom is quite a talkative, violent character who isn’t necessarily interested in saving lives but is also driven to punishing only those who do wrong by others, which should result in an interesting and layered character and, instead, produces a fun, if kind of dumb, action movies that could have been really violent but was hampered by studio interference.
Hardy really captures the duality of Eddie and the symbiote.
Therefore, Venom is an interesting beast; the film lives and dies by the strength and versatility of its star and Tom Hardy is brilliant as a likeable, downtrodden underdog who is trying to do what’s right but is tempted by the power offered by the symbiote to strike back at those who have wronged him. Hardy pulls double duty in this film, playing both Eddie Brock and voicing the alien symbiote, and is portrayed as a loser who screws up his life and blames others for it.
Here’s an eccentric in a suit. He’s a bad guy.
Unfortunately, the same praise can’t really be said for some of Hardy’s co-stars. Carlton Drake (Ahmed) is every wacky evil corporate villain you’ve seen on film before and, while I didn’t exactly hate him or dislike his performance, I am personally just tired of seeing guys in suits being evil for no real reason. Rounding things out are Anne Weying (Williams), Eddie’s former fiancée who is serviceable enough but sure drops Eddie’s ass pretty quickly after he screws up an important interview. One person who did stand out for me was Dr. Dora Skirth (Jenny Slate), who was super cute and spunky and had a nice little character arc going on. I almost wish that Eddie had started the film with nothing and developed a romance with her rather than trying to find ways to repair his relationship with Anne as Dora had a lot more potential in her.
The symbiote offers Brock the power…but at a price.
Effects wise…well, Venom by its very nature requires substantial special effects and CGI to create the brain-eating anti-hero and it definitely seems like the studio put all of the money into making Venom look as good as possible and, honestly, Venom does look fantastic when he’s on screen. The problem is he’s just not on screen enough; a lot of the runtime is focused more on Eddie as a character and slowly developing his rapport with the symbiote and discovering what it can do, which is great as we really didn’t get to spend enough time with Brock (Topher Grace) in Spider-Man 3 but, as a massive fan of the character, I just wanted to see more Venom in my Venom movie. Other effects, though, are a bit hit and miss; in its non-bonded form, the symbiote is little more than writhing, liquid-like goo that honestly looked a bit dodgy. The effects used in Spider-Man 3 actually looked better and made the symbiote appear more vicious and dangerous; similarly, I wasn’t a fan of how the symbiote formed tentacles and appendages from seemingly nowhere with no ill effect on people’s clothes or skin. In the comics, the symbiote’s mimic clothing and cling and tug at skin like sticky webbing (an effect also nailed in Spider-Man 3) but none of that happens here; it’s seemingly just generated without any noticeable issues. Instead, Venom focuses on the duality between Brock and Venom, with the symbiote constantly talking and expressing itself to Eddie and threatening to devour his organs or takeover his body completely. This is a smart move, as it means we get a much more accurate version of Venom than anything seen before, but the symbiote’s motivations and behaviour is questionable at times, almost as much as those of Drake, and no amount of character work or amazing effects can change that some of those aspects are jarring and glaring flaws.
The Nitty-Gritty: The Life Foundation obtains the symbiotes and hopes to use them to save humanity from extinction (which is kind of daft but okay, I guess); Eddie stumbles upon their plot and becomes bonded with the symbiote, which helpfully doesn’t kill him in the same way that others were killed from exposure. In an odd addition, the symbiote refers to itself as “Venom” right from the start, which is normally a name the two create to describe their union, and it is driven by hunger for living flesh and the desire to destroy humanity. However, it has a complete change of heart after being bonded to Eddie and decides to protect humankind instead because it randomly decides that it likes life on Earth. Drake, meanwhile, also bonds with another symbiote to become Riot, who wants to bring the rest of their kind to Earth to take the whole show over.
When he’s actually on screen, Venom looks fantastic!
A lot of fans will probably be annoyed at the decision to include Riot, who is a forgettable footnote in Venom’s character history compared to someone like Carnage, and is simply a return to the tired old formula of a villain who is exactly like the hero but eeeeevil! Riot even looks almost exactly like Venom in the right (or wrong, I guess) lighting, though he is separated by a distinct colour scheme and the ability to form different weapons. Carnage would have been a better choice by far but the neutered rating means that Sony would never have done the character justice. Cletus Kasady (Woody Harrelson) appears in a mid-credits scene, promising to unleash “carnage” when he escapes from prison, which is great as it might mean that the studio finds their balls and does a really violent sequel but it’s weird because the scene is so random and out of nowhere and so obviously put in for fan service. I would have preferred to see Brock chasing Kasady for an interview throughout the movie as his big break and stumble upon the Life Foundation’s plot that way, maybe have Cletus be a captive of theirs. But, still, if they get a sequel and if they go full on with the violence, I look forward to seeing Carnage unleashed in full the next go around.
The Summary: Venom is loud and fun and full of potential but doesn’t exactly do anything new or even that exciting. Tom Hardy is great and Venom looks amazing, but the rest of the film kind of crumbles around them and the inclusion of Spider-Man would not have helped to stop that from happening, I love Venom and I wanted this movie to be great but, in the end, it only turned out to be just okay. Here’s hoping for an extended, bloodier cut on DVD and a more violent sequel if it makes enough green.
This review has been supported by Chiara Cooper. If you’d like to support the site, you can do so at my Ko-Fi page.
Released: 14 September 2018 Director: Shane Black Distributor: 20th Century Fox Budget: $88 million Stars: Boyd Holbrook, Brian A. Prince and Kyle Strauts, Jacob Tremblay, Olivia Munn, Sterling K. Brown, Trevante Rhodes, and Thomas Jane
The Plot: When Captain Quinn McKenna’s (Holbrook) unit is slaughtered by a fugitive alien hunter (Prince/Strauts), he’s shipped off to a mental hospital while government agents, led by Will Traeger (Brown), examiner the Predator. However, when a larger, more powerful Predator (Prince/Strauts) arrives to finish off the fugitive, McKenna must team up with a bunch of military misfits to combat the creature, who targets his autistic son Rory (Tremblay) in a bid to breed the ultimate prey.
The Review: As much as I hate to admit it, the Predator franchise has had a bit of a tumultuous history. Despite the success of Predator, the underrated Predator 2(Hopkins, 1990) didn’t really match the worldwide gross or critical reaction of its predecessor. We then had to wait fourteen years to see the ultimate hunter return to cinema screens, this time for the much-maligned and mishandled AVP: Alien vs. Predator(Anderson, 2004). While I actually really enjoyed the follow-up, AVP: R: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem(The Brothers Strause, 2007) was a box office bomb and the franchise seemed to be dead in the water. As I mentioned in my review of Predators, I had high hopes of the franchise’s third entry, which was both pretty well received and made over double its budget in worldwide gross yet somehow didn’t earn a direct follow-up. Instead, 20th Century Fox made the bizarre decision to bring back Shane Black, who had featured in the first film and even contributed uncredited rewrites to the script and made a name for himself as a director in the years since. Predators’ cliff-hanger was ignored in favour of returning to Earth for a more suburban jungle escapade with a ridiculous title and a strange mish-mash of the previous films that was supposed to act as a soft reboot…despite Predators having already done. The movie opens promisingly enough; the credits font and outer space beginning recall the opening of Predator and Alan Silvestri’s iconic Predator theme is nicely resampled by Henry Jackman into something noticeably punchier and more action-packed, and this emphasis is furthered by the depiction of a space laser battle between the “Fugitive Predator” and its peers. When its ship is damaged and ultimately crashes, the hunter escapes to the dense jungles of Mexico just in time to disrupt a hostage retrieval operation led by crack sniper Quinn McKenna.
Crack sniper McKenna finds the Predator’s gear and is soon fighting to keep his gifted son safe.
McKenna stumbles upon the crash site and swipes the Predator’s helmet and gauntlet before witnessing his entire unit be slaughtered by the Fugitive. McKenna survives thanks to the gauntlet and beats a hasty retreat right as shady, arrogant Traeger and his team arrive to claim the Predator and its tech. Recognising that he’s stumbled into something far beyond his paygrade, McKenna has his loot mailed away for safety and is quickly apprehended and marked as the patsy. Far more than some mindless, musclebound soldier, McKenna is wise enough to see he’s being set up to take the fall yet continues to sport a snarky, bad-ass attitude throughout the film; though the damaged veterans he forms a bond with aggravate him with their bickering, tics, and childish behaviour, he’s fiercely loyal to them and sees them as his “unit” but, above all else, his priority is his family. Realising that his autistic son has been placed in mortal danger after the Predator tech he stole ends up at their house, McKenna pulls his team of misfits together and orders them to get their shit together to keep Rory safe. Similar to AVP: R, much of The Predator’s plot is focused on a suburban town where McKenna’s estranged wife Emily (Yvonne Strahovski) raises their son Rory as best as she can considering McKenna’s long stretches away from. As the wife of a military man, Emily is pretty capable in her own right; she doesn’t stand for any shit from McKenna’a loony new friends and openly defies Traeger’s authority, though her impact on the overall plot is minimal compared to Rory’s. A child savant of sorts, Rory is a quiet little boy with a penchant for puzzles and languages; the subject of ridicule amongst other kids, Rory’s autism sees him extremely sensitive to sounds and changes to his routines. He’s therefore hesitant to go out trick-or-treating, even with a mask on, and would much rather fiddle around with the Predator’s helmet when it accidentally gets redirected to their house. Inquisitive and curious, he quickly activates the Predator’s technology, inadvertently triggering a signal that brings bigger, badder “Upgrade Predator” to come hunting for the Fugitive. Rory’s condition means he struggles in social situations; alongside this outspoken nature is a lot of the same fighting spirit as his parents as he also openly mocks Traeger’s attempts to talk down to him and cannot help but put his extraordinary mind to use even when taking hostage by the Upgrade Predator. Rory’s even strangely desensitised to death and violence; he attains a body count of his own thanks to the helmet’s auto-fire capabilities and is noticeably unfazed when McKenna uses lethal force to rescue him from Traeger.
McKenna is forced to work with a misfit team of damaged veterans, each with their own odd quirks.
Despite impressing Traeger with his wit and demeanour, McKenna is fingered as a dangerous and unstable threat and shipped off to a nut house. On the bus, he meets a bunch of clinically-discharged fellow soldiers, all of whom have their own little quirks and character traits that make them all pretty entertaining. These five – Gaylord “Nebraska” Williams (Rhodes), Baxley (Jane), Coyle (Keegan-Michael Key), “Nettles” (Augusto Aguilera), and Lynch (Alfie Allen) – are already very familiar with each other thanks to attending group therapy together, with the film even suggesting by the end that Baxley and Coyle have a homosexual relationship, and have built a rapport based on mutual respect and dislike. Consequently, they’re very childish and like to rib on each other and their conditions; Baxley makes the most obvious impression such he suffers from Torrette’s syndrome and cannot help blurting out crude remarks, swears, or having facial and body tics. For the most part, this is played as comic relief and leads to some amusing banter between him and the rest of the group, and awkward situations when he accidentally slips out vulgar terms to the film’s female characters. Similarly, Coyle exhibits the most childish demeanour of them all; damaged after accidentally opening fire on his own men, he resorts to jokes, winding the others up, and rarely takes anything seriously, even the threat of extraterrestrial hunters, leading to some moments of contention between him and the others (and, even then, he continues to crack wise). “Nettles” is the most, shall we say, “socially awkward” of the group; he showcases a perverse nature that’s not really very appropriate and threatens to get him in trouble whenever female characters are around. Even Lynch, probably the most forgettable of the group, showcases a talent for close-up magic and has a penchant for overkill in his methods. Of them all, McKenna forms the closest bond with cool-as-a-cucumber Nebraska, a man who was once so disturbed and horrified by the constant cycle of death and conflict in his life that he shot himself in the head to try and end it. McKenna quickly becomes the default “adult” of the group, giving them something to focus on and orders to carry out once things get serious, although there are times when their dialogue is needlessly mumbled or drowning out by ambient noise.
Dr. Bracket is caught up in Traeger’s obsession with acquiring the Predator’s technology.
McKenna and his bunch of misfits prove surprisingly effective; they might be damaged but their proclivity for violence and combat is not only beneficial once the Upgrade Predator comes to town but is even enhanced by their instability, despite their more lewd traits bringing the ire of Emily and evolutionary biologist Doctor Casey Bracket (Munn). Much like Special Agent Peter Keyes (Gary Busey) in Predator 2, Traeger is well aware of the Predators (with this now being the official designation of the creature and his race since it “cooler”), their methods and their technology, and is overjoyed to finally have a live specimen to examine. However, since alien biology is a little outside of his area of expertise, he arranges for Dr. Bracket to help study the creature under the enthusiastic guidance of Sean Keyes (Jake Busey). While the government is growing antsy at the increased frequency of Predator sightings, Keyes couldn’t be more excited at the prospect of studying an actual extraterrestrial lifeform; Dr. Brackett is similarly awestruck (though not enough to criticise the government’s naming of the creature’s as “Predators”, a running self-deprecating gag that really doesn’t land for me) though her excitement turns to horror when she learns that the Fugitive Predator’s genetic makeup is infused with human DNA, suggesting the creatures are either mating with other species or partaking in genetic engineering. barely surviving the Fugitive’s escape, Dr. Bracket bumps into McKenna and, while they awkwardly try to impress her and continually make fools of themselves due to their eccentricities, she tolerates them out of necessity and is forced to rely on them for protection after Traeger orders her execution to keep everything nicely covered up. Traeger’s concern is that the hunters are looking to invade, to supplant humanity before we destroy ourselves through war, social upheaval, or global warming, whichever comes first, and correctly guesses that the Fugitive was bringing humanity a weapon to fight back before they can strip-mine human DNA for their own purposes. Fundamentally, his concern is for the safety of the world, but Traeger’s methods make him a reprehensible individual since he’ll happily kill or threaten anyone, women and kids included, in order to get his hands on the Predator’s technology.
It’s hard to believe that one of these two is supposed to be on our side…
For the majority of the film, the Fugitive Predator is depicted and viewed as an antagonistic force and it’s difficult to argue against this; despite having ejected from its crashing ship, it still goes out of its way to stalk and kill McKenna’s unit, skinning one of them, luring them in with its voice imitator while cloaked, and blasting away with its signature plasma cannon. When it awakens in Traeger’s lab, the Fugitive goes on a tear, even biting the arm of one of his scientists with its mandibles, effortlessly manhandling others, slashing with its claws, and even using surgical equipment and a rifle to add to its body count. However, the film introduces the twist that this Fugitive is actually on our side; a renegade who disagreed with the gene-splicing program, it sought to not only warn humanity of an impending invasion but also prepare them to combat this, but you’d never know it as it slaughters humans at the slightest provocation. The Fugitive displays more personality than any Predator since, even the purposely humanised “Scar” (Ian Whyte) from AVP, showcasing a morbid sense of humour as it uses severed limbs to escape the facility, motioning to McKenna’s group to drop their weapons, and exhibiting the same understanding of human speech as its counterpart from Predators. The Fugitive Predator sports all of its usual weaponry and abilities but also brings some new toys to the table courtesy of its gauntlet, which shoots shurikens and spits out a small orb that allows him to cloak. We also see more of the Predator’s ship this time around; not only do we get to see it producing a wormhole for space travel and firing its armaments, but the Upgrade Predator’s craft results in some explosive ariel action sequences and plays a significant part in the finale. The Fugitive is modelled almost exactly like its counterpart from the first movie (Kevin Peter Hall); its armour, helmet, and even the design of its butt-ugly face all draw from Stan Winston’s classic design, evoking a sense of familiarity with the creature similar to Predators’ “Classic Predator” (Derek Mears). The Upgrade Predator is ridiculously tall and bulky; rendered entirely in CGI, this nightmarish abomination is not only bigger and stronger, it’s the first of its kind to have its words translated onscreen not just through subtitles but also a piece of in-film technology; like Predators’ “Super Predators” (Brian Steele and Carey Jones), the Upgrade hunts using hounds, but forgoes both the traditional helmet and armour thanks to its impenetrable exoskeleton and cybernetic implants. The Upgrade is the Fugitive’s superior in every way, easily crushing its rival’s head and ripping it off, and showcases both hyper aggression and hunting wiles that present it as the most dangerous Predator yet.
The Nitty-Gritty: There’s a surprising amount of depth to The Predator, certainly far more than the usual themes of survival of the fittest, man vs. monster, and nature vs. technology that’s normally at work in these films (though these elements are still prominent). However, I’m not entirely sure if all of them are suitable, appropriate to the genre, or even work; obviously, I’m no expert on autism and don’t really know much about it beyond the fact that it can take many different forms. Still, I don’t think it’s ever been touted as the next step in human evolution, or depicted as being some kind of “superpower” than an alien race would want to harvest for their own benefit. The depiction of the condition is all over the place, with Rory being ostracised, socially awkward and hesitant, and prone to panic attacks as much as he is capable of seeing patterns that others miss and displaying an almost genius-level intellect at times. I guess we’re supposed to figure that the Predators would be able to extract the “benefits” of autism form Rory’s DNA to mitigate the disadvantages but it’s still a strange execution; it’s possible that the film was going for a sense of empowerment and inclusivity for the autistic community, but I wonder if it actually managed to accomplish that. Similarly, unlike every previous Predator movie, The Predator deals with the fallout of post-traumatic stress and focuses on a misfit group of soldiers who have been psychologically damaged from years of killing and warfare; even the relatively “normal” McKenna is depicted as being twisted and somewhat broken on the inside, meaning it doesn’t take much to label him as psychologically unstable, but his newfound unit exhibit far more explicit signs of emotional and psychological trauma. Again, I’m no expert; I know soldiers see and go through a lot and they need all the support available to them since they sacrifice so much for others, and I think it’s an interesting dichotomy to depict more vulnerable characters as opposed to the all-action, gun-toting soldiers seen in previous Predator movies, but a lot of their quirks are played as comic relief so again I have to question whether these depictions were wholly appropriate or respectful to our military veterans.
I enjoyed the gory violence and references but the new elements were awkward, at best.
The Predator is, at times, a little at odds with itself; there’s a degree of comedy in the film that doesn’t always land, and it’s not always surrounding McKenna’s socially inept group. Traeger is constantly cracking wise and giving it the big-I-am, which helps to make him a thoroughly unlikeable character even when he’s not threatening a confused little kid and culminates in an extremely anti-climactic death when he blows his own head off with the Predator’s plasma cannon, and even the Fugitive Predator’s rampage in Traeger’s lab is played for laughs here and there. The Predator also attempts to expand upon and broaden the nature of the Predators, suggesting that they hunt not just for trophies and glory but also to acquire the best genetic sampling from spinal fluids in order to genetically enhance themselves. The film also suggest one of the reasons for increased Predator sightings is because humanity is drawing closely to self-extinction, infusing this action/sci-fi romp with a clunky environmental message, and depicts the Fugitive Predator as wanting to give mankind a fighting chance before its genetically superior peers wipe us all out and claim the planet as their own. While these all make for unique elements in the film, The Predator stumbles to stand out since it mashes together many plot threads and ideas from every previous Predator movie: The Fugitive hunts and stalks through forest areas like in Predator, is hunted and targeted by government types as in Predator 2 (it’s not explicitly stated in the film but Sean Keyes is actually the son of Peter Keyes), dips its toe into the Predator society like in AVP, depicts a suburban area being attacked like in AVP: R, and even features alien hounds and two warring Predator classes as in Predators. Predators also introduced the idea that the hunters change their weapons, armour, and tactics with each hunt and kill but The Predator takes that concept to the nth degree, resulting in the revelation that they’re artificially jump-starting their evolution by sampling DNA from other species. On the plus side, photographic evidence, dialogue, and weapons at Traeger’s facility all reference not only the first film but, finally, explicitly reference the events of the second; even Alexa “Lex” Woods’ (Sanaa Lathan) makeshift spear and Ms. Cullen Yutani (Françoise Yip) make brief appearances, subtly suggesting that the AVP movies are still canon in the Predator universe.
Despite losing his team, McKenna bests the Upgrade Predator and prepares himself for war.
After Rory sketches a map to the Fugitive’s crashed ship, Traeger takes him hostage to acquire their technology; thanks to a conveniently tamed Predator hound, McKenna is able to lead his rag-tag group of soldiers there to rescue Rory. The two groups are forced to put their differences aside, however, when the Upgrade arrives, makes mincemeat of Traeger’s disposable grunts, blows Lynch’s arm off, and retakes the ship. Before destroying the ship, it challenges “McKenna” to lead the survivors in a traditional hunt, with “McKenna” as his prize; while this results in quite the body count, it’s Traeger and his men who suffer the most due to their arrogance, stupidity, and naivety, resulting in the Upgrade picking them off easily and Traeger blowing his own head off. In comparison, McKenna’s group work to lure the Upgrade into a trap using themselves as bait; while the Upgrade is damaged during the assault, this unfortunately results in Coyle and Baxley being mortally wounded and forced to mercy kill each other. When the Upgrade kidnaps Rory (the “McKenna” is spoke of), it attempts to leave on its ship and McKenna, “Nettles”, and Nebraska leap onto it to try and force it down; although McKenna and Nebraska manage to avoid being sliced up by the ship’s forcefield, “Nettles” isn’t so luckily and Nebraska ultimately chooses to sacrifice himself to destroy one of the ship’s engines and send it crashing to the forest below. Although outmatched by the Upgrade, McKenna is aided by the timely and ballsy intervention of Dr. Bracket and is…somehow…able to send the creature tumbling over a cliff; Rory then severs the creature’s arm with its ship’s forcefield and McKenna finally finishes it off by firing its own explosive bolt back at it using the blade from its severed arm. One final subversion of the classic “What are you?” line sees McKenna end the creature once and for all and he and Rory sombrely pay their respects to their fallen comrades. This would’ve been a decent place to end the movie but, instead, we get one final scene before ethe credits where a fully reinstated McKenna finally gets to see what the Fugitive brought for humanity: a ridiculously over the top nanotech battle suit that he plans to use to stave off future incursions for yet another unresolved cliff-hanger ending. Personally, I would’ve preferred to see Royce (Adrien Brody) and Isabelle (Alice Braga) emerge from the pod with a bunch of stolen Predator tech but what the hell do I know?
The Summary: Honestly, as great as it is to see some vicious Predator action there are some flaws that cause The Predator to stumble, primarily revolving around the film’s pacing. It’s like Shane Black wanted to cram as much as possible as he could into the movie and set up for a sequel and, as a result, the focus is very sporadic. It seems that every time the narrative starts to get bogged down by all of the many different ideas Black is trying to incorporate and every time you begin to question the plot and things that don’t make sense, a gory action scene is thrown at you to distract from these issues. I feel it might’ve been simpler to paint the Upgrade Predator as the villainous rogue trying to engage in genocide rather than the Fugitive Predator as the later sure kills a hell of a lot of people for a creature that claims to be trying to save humanity with a “gift”. I like the acknowledgement, however brief, of previous Predator films but it does annoy me that The Predator didn’t actually try to wrap up the franchise’s loose ends and instead focused on setting up for a sequel that never happened. It’s is a shame as there was so much potential for The Predator to be a decent action/sci-fi film; it did a great job reminding audiences why the Predator is such a bad-ass creature but there’s nothing really new here as so much of it is simply remixed elements from all the previous Predator films. What new elements we do get are clunky at best and uncomfortable at worst; I really enjoyed the rapport and personalities of McKenna and his group, even if they are a bit too cartoonish at times, and I liked that the protagonists were all broken veterans struggling with their violent experiences. But the depiction of autism is problematic, the weird environmental message is very misplaced, and the sub-plot of the Predators genetically modifying themselves doesn’t have much impact as the Upgrade Predator is dispatched pretty easily all things considered. In the end, it’s a decent entry, but nowhere near as good as the originals or Predators and it’s easily the black sheep of the mainline Predator series.
My Rating:
⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 3 out of 5.
Pretty Good
So, what did you think to The Predator? What did you think to the depiction of autism and PTSD? Which of the film’s characters did you like the most, or the least? What did you think to the Upgrade Predator and the idea of the creatures splicing genetic traits from other species? Were you disappointed that the film wasn’t a continuation of Predators and which of the Predator movies is your favourite? Whatever your thoughts on The Predator, do please leave a comment below or on my social media and be sure to pop back for more Predator action.
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