Dr. K's Waiting Room

The Build-Up:
Debuting in 1988, Pat Patterson’s Royal Rumble concept became a staple of the then-World Wrestling Federation (WWF), though even this crucial event had an uphill battle in 1995, a notoriously troublesome year for the WWF. There were few major storylines heading into the Royal Rumble beyond Pamela Anderson promising to accompany the winner at WrestleMania XI, though HBK and the British Bulldog continued their rivalry in the match, a star-making performance for the unruly Shawn Michaels.

The Match:
In keeping with her promise to be present at WrestleMania XI, Baywatch (1989 to 1990; 1991 to 2001) star Pamela Anderson came out and sat at ringside of the 1995 Royal Rumble match, which saw HBK saunter out at number one and pander to the crowd. Unfortunately for the cocksure Michaels, the British Bulldog came out at number two and they immediately rekindled their rivalry from the past year. The British Bulldog showcased his power early, easily dominating HBK but opting to throw him around the ring and put a beating on Shawn rather than tossing him over the ropes with a military press. Elu Blu interrupted their brawl (to no fanfare), leading the rivals to unwittingly team up to attack the big man, though they struggled to heft Eli over the ropes. Duke “The Dumpster” Drose allowed HBK and the Bulldog to split off against their larger foes, with Drose squeezing HBK with a bearhug an Eli beating the Bulldog down in the far corner. “Gigolo” Jimmy Del Ray was out next and immediately targeted the Dumpster, causing Eli and Drose to batter him in the corner while HBK returned to attacking the Bulldog. When HBK randomly went for Del Ray, HBK almost got muscled out of the ring, only to come back with a diving double axe handle to the Bulldog. Sione was next in the ring, replacing the eliminated Jimmy Del Ray, and the competitors were left to wander about until Doctor Tom Prichard came out to avenge his partner, Jimmy Del Ray. This saw him hammer away on Eli as HBK slipped out of Sione’s press, the Dumpster struggled with the Bulldog in a corner, and Doink the Clown entered the fray. Doink immediately targeted Sione, leading Eli to join the Wild Samoan in beating down the clown as HBK choked Drose on the ropes.

Kwang was next out as the competitors continued to race to the ring in record time, leading to more mindless brawling before Royal Rumble veteran Rick “The Model” Martel joined the action. Kwang almost got HBK a couple of times, and Owen Hart was attacked by his brother, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, on the outside on his way to the ring. Timothy Well sprinted past the downed Owen, only to be quickly tossed out by the Bulldog. HBK eliminated Drose and Prichard, Sione threw out Martel, Kwang blasted Doink off the ring apron with a martial arts kick, before Eli took himself and Kwang out of the match with a big clothesline. Bushwacker Luke was almost immediately tossed out by Shawn Michaels so he could get back into it with the British Bulldog, choking and stomping on Davey Boy Smith and taking a stalling suplex for his trouble. Eli’s brother, Jacob Blu, went after both men with some big shots but his exuberance cost him when HBK sent him tumbling out. The Bulldog tried to muscle HBK from the ring, but Shawn grabbed the ropes for dear life and gained a reprieve when King Kong Bundy plodded out to clumsily manhandle the Bulldog. HBK tried to help Bundy eject his rival but resorted to attacking the brute when his failed. Bundy then swiftly sent Mo flying over the top seconds after he entered the ring. With HBK and the Bulldog unable to lift Bundy’s bulk, Mabel came in to try his luck, eventually (and clumsily) muscling Bundy out with a bit of help from HBK, who then made short work of Bushwhacker Butch seconds later. Mabel immediately asserted himself by working with the Bulldog to try and eliminate HBK, only for Lex Luger to easily throw the big man from the ring. Despite tossing Shawn Michaels around with ease, Luger also struggled to get him out, even with the Bulldog’s assistance, as Mantaur lumbered into the match. Mantaur instantly decimated the Bulldog as HBK and Luger continued to battle, though Davey Boy got some help from Luger when HBK split off to get into it with Aldo Montoya.

Henry O. Godwinn (who Vince laughably labelled a “favourite” to win) threw his name in the hat as the action slowed to a crawl once more with more mindless brawling and time wasting. Billy Gunn sprinted to the ring and went right for Mantaur but couldn’t get the big goof out and even his brother, Bart Gunn, couldn’t do much when he popped out next. Bob Backlund was also attacked by Bret Hart on the outside and was quickly dumped by Luger when he finally got in the ring. Steven Dunn entered as the competitors continued to mess about, fighting Godwinn before Dick Murdoch returned to the WWF and Adam Bomb popped in as Mantaur crushed Luger in a corner before Lex muscled him from the ring as Fatu and Billy Gunn busied themselves in a corner. Crush rounded out the entrants and immediately helped Murdoch dump the Smoking Gunns (who were randomly grappling near the ropes), Montoya tossed Wells soon after and, after what felt like an ice age of relentlessly pounding and choking in the various corners, Crush tossed Adam out. HBK finally got rid of Montoya and Crush got rid of Fatu after the Samoan spent some time working him over. Murdoch then impressed with a dropkick to Godwinn but ended up tumbling out when the hog farmer reversed his aeroplane spin, though Luger bested Godwinn soon after. Luger desperately fought against Crush and HBK, who formed a fragile alliance against the big man and the Bulldog, one that resulted in Luger taking a tumble (courtesy of Michaels) while hammering on Crush in the corner. HBK further convinced Crush to work over the British Bulldog, only for Crush to turn on Shawn and threaten to launch him out and the Bulldog to send Crush flying from the ring with a clothesline. Thus, HBK and the Bulldog continued from where they started, much to the delight of the raucous crowd. Although the exhausted Bulldog easily overpowered HBK and seemed to have it won following another clothesline over the ropes, Shawn held on (barely avoiding touching the floor with both feet) and blindsided Bulldog during his celebration, becoming the first man to win the Royal Rumble from number one.

The Aftermath:
This as easily one of the worst Royal Rumble matches I’ve ever seen. There were hardly any viable competitors in the match, with the entrants mostly being nobodies or disposable bodies to plod around the ring and drag things out. It didn’t help that the wrestlers were coming out every minute or so, causing the ring to fill up with bodies and leaving the competitors with little to do but stomp around and gingerly brawl near the ropes and in the corners. After his historic win, Shawn Michaels went on to face his former bodyguard, Diesel, at WrestleMania XI in a losing effort; Diesel even convinced Pamela Anderson to ditch Shawn at the event! Still, HBK spent most of 1995 as the Intercontinental Champion and repeated his Royal Rumble victory the following year, finally capturing his first WWF Championship at WrestleMania XII. WrestleMania XI also saw the British Bulldog and Lex Luger teamup to defeat the Blu Brothers and Bret Hart settle his differences with Bob Backlund. Owen Hart, the Smoking Gunns, and King Kong Bundy all made it onto WrestleMania XI as well, though the less said about Bundy’s match against the Undertaker, the better!

My Rating:

Terrible

Did you enjoy the 1995 Royal Rumble match? If so…why? Who was your pick to win at the time? Which of the entrants do you think was most out of place? Were you surprised to see Dick Murdoch return or do you have no idea who he is? Were you impressed that Shawn (and the Bulldog) lasted the entire match? Which Royal Rumble match is your favourite and who’s your pick to win this year? Whatever you think of this awful Royal Rumble match, like the review and leave a comment and then donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest another Royal Rumble match for me to review.