Dr. K's Waiting Room

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January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

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Quick Facts:
This rightfully celebrated remake of the 1958 cult classic reunited screenwriter Frank Darabont with director Chuck Russell and saw Lyle Conway, Stuart Ziff, and Tony Gardner collaborate on the gruesome and inventive special effects, which utilised silk bags filled with Methyl cellulose. Though widely praised as a more cynical piece evocative of the more rebellious 1980s, attempts at another remake have constantly stalled.

The Review:
Shifting its setting to Arborville, California The Blob initially begins in a similar fashion to the 1958 original, though with some fun twists. In place of Steve McQueen we have star quarterback Paul Taylor (Donovan Leitch), a gifted youngster from a wealthy background who, despite nursing what looks like a concussion, attracts shapely cheerleader Megan “Meg” Penny (Shawnee Smith). Despite his bravado, Paul’s wingman, Scott Jeskey (Ricky Paull Goldin), gets cold feet when buying condoms ahead of his late-night tryst with Vicki DeSoto (Erika Eleniak) when football loving Reverend Meeker (Del Close) corners him in the local chemist. Wishing to appear virtuous rather than a creep who practically date rapes girls, Scott paints Paul as a wayward soul, much to the disgust of pharmacist Tom Penny (Art LaFleur). This lands Paul in hot water when he pops over (in his letterman jacket, of course) to pick up Meg and realises Tom is her father, though Meg mostly laughs it off while apologising for her bratty little brother, horror fanatic Kevin Penny (Michael Kenworthy). Unfortunately for Paul and Meg, Paul accidentally knocks down a panicked old hermit (Billy Beck). Like in the original, the vagabond investigated a flaming meteorite that crashed into the woods, poking it with a stick and ending up screaming in agony when a strange, slime-like substance latched on to his hand. Luckily for the “old dude”, ruffian Brian Flagg (Kevin Dillon) was fixing his motorcycle nearby and helped, though his presence immediately rubs Paul and Meg the wrong way as Flagg’s a known troublemaker who’s been in and out of juvenile detention centres and is very much an outsider amongst his peers and the town.

Genuinely caring for the old man, who had applauded his earlier failed attempt to jump a busted bridge with his motorcycle, and to ensure Paul doesn’t pin the incident on him, Flagg accompanies them to the doctor’s office but quickly leaves after being frustrated by red tape. Paul is horrified to discover the hermit’s skin bulging alarmingly. Panicked, he pleads with the doctor (Jack Nance) for help, only to discover the old man dissolved from the torso down! Alarmed, Paul frantically calls Sheriff Herb Geller (Jeffrey DeMunn) but his chances at being a leading man like McQueen are dashed when the titular “Blob”, now vastly grown, envelops him and leaves Meg unconscious and hysterical after she walks in on him being consumed by the organism. Unfortunately, Paul had time to name-drop Flagg, so the moody outsider is apprehended and grilled by Deputy Bill Briggs (Paul McCrane), who’s convinced that Flagg was involved despite it being literally impossible for him to have melted the two to a mess of meat. Knowing this, Sheriff Geller sets Flagg free and he’s quickly sought out by a desperate Meg, who wants to verify what she saw. While at Fran Hewitt’s (Candy Clark) diner, Flagg dismisses Meg’s wild stories and gives her nothing but resentment, but his disbelief shatters when he hears a commotion and finds Fran’s cook, George Ruiz (Clayton Landey), literally being pulled down the drain by the Blob! Horrified, Brian and Meg take shelter in the freezer, discovering that the Blob is sensitive to the cold, and seek out Sheriff Geller once the coast is clear, oblivious that he, Scott, Vicki, and Fran have all been consumed by the amorphous, acidic creature.

However, Flagg and Meg learn that Briggs is at the crash site. Looking for answers, they head over and find Doctor Christopher Meddows (Joe Seneca) leading a military operation of shady government types in haz-mat suits. While Dr. Meaddows is courteous, Flagg is a sceptical, wary bad boy who doesn’t trust or like authority figures so he’s unconvinced by Dr. Meaddows’ explanation that the Blob is an alien bacteria that once wiped out the dinosaurs. Of course, Flagg’s right to be suspicious. After escaping, Flagg overhears a conversation between Dr. Meaddows and Colonel Templeton Hargis (Jack Rader) that reveals the film has reimagined the Blob as a man-made parasite, an advanced form of warfare created during the Cold War that was launched into space in a satellite. Space radiation caused it to unexpectedly mutate and crash to Earth and Dr. Meddows is super excited at the prospect as it means one-upping those pesky Russkies. Accordingly, Dr. Meaddows orders Arborville be pacified with talk of a quarantine from a potential infection and then isolated to contain the Blob, even if it kills the town. Despite his better judgement, Flagg races to warn people using the town’s vast sewer pipes, reuniting with Meg after she was forced to flee down there with Kevin and his friend, Eddie Beckner (Douglas Emerson). Kevin and Eddie’s wholesome midnight screening of a slasher was interrupted by the Blob, which sent the cinema patrons fleeing or consumed them in a far more gruesome and bloody reimagining of the iconic scene from the original film. The Blob then doubles down by melting poor Eddie, leaving Flagg, Kevin, and shellshocked soldier (Bill Moseley) trapped in the sewers ahead of the explosive finale.

Although its origins are different, the Blob is still an amorphous, voracious creature driven only to consume and grow. Even when small, the Blob is tenacious, latching onto the hermit’s hand with a corrosive grip and melting him inside out. This sees it grow large enough to engulf poor Paul, who’s left a screaming, suffocating, melting mess within the creature’s jelly-like body. While the Blob was disappointingly absent for most of the 1958 film, it’s a persistent threat here, stalking through the grass to invade Vicki from the inside out, collapsing her in on herself to attack Scott with writhing tentacles. The Blob is far more versatile here thanks to improved practical and visual effects, appearing in various forms and sizes thanks to miniatures, animatronics, rear projection, and puppetry. Accordingly, it utilises tentacles to ensnare its prey, like when it entangles itself on Meg’s hair or yanks George down the drain. Other times, it simply engulfs its targets, slithering over the telephone booth to absorb Fran while still digesting lovelorn Sheriff Geller. The Blob’s increased screen presence delivers some fantastically gory kills and moments: Paul’s arm is ripped off and lies twitching and melting on the floor, a projectionist (Unknown) gets plastered to the ceiling and left gasping as he dissolves into the creature, and poor Eddie gets melted to a screaming, half-skeletal mush! The Blob grows “at a geometric rate” as a result, eventually becoming large enough to swat solders with giant tentacles, shrug off C4 and flamethrowers (leaving Reverend Meeker horribly burned), and growing thrashing appendages so strong they snap Briggs in half! Dr. Meaddows’ insane attempt to contain the creature and somehow turn it to his advantage see him disregard all civilian and military lives, leading to his deserved end when the Blob snags him through a manhole and leaves him a bloodstain within his suit.

Flagg’s rebellious nature and distrustful attitude see his hunch about Dr. Meaddows pay off in the worst way and, despite him planning to leave town, Flagg’s compelled to go back (he even chastises himself for having his head turned by a cheerleader!) Despite saving Meg, Kevin, and the soldier, Flagg is met with suspicion by the town thanks to Briggs’ prejudice and Dr. Meaddows insisting that Flagg is infected by some unknown pathogen and a danger to them. Flagg manages to instil some doubt into Briggs but, luckily for him, the Blob soon convinces the civilians of the true threat. After Colonel Hargis orders the Blob to eat some C4, the creature emerges bigger than ever and goes on a rampage, scooping up, swatting, and consuming everything in its path as the terrified residents flee to the town hall. Thanks to Meg, they fend off the Blob with fire extinguishers, buying Flagg time to commandeer one of Moss Woodley’s (Beau Billingslea) beloved snow making trucks and blast the Blob with freezing cold liquid nitrogen. The Blob reacts violently, overturning the snow truck and threatening to consume Flagg, so Meg completes her evolution into a forthright action heroine by distracting it with an assault rifle and priming some C4 attached to the snow truck. Though both are momentarily imperilled due to being snagged on wires or seatbelts, the two race to safety just as the explosive goes off, flash-freezing the Blob into thousands of ice crystals and bathing the town square in snow. Flagg and Meg embrace as the relieved residents come out of hiding and Moss helps transport the remains to the icehouse. However, Revered Meeker is left badly scarred and traumatised by the ordeal, which he saw as a sign of the apocalypse. Thus, some time later, he preaches of the Rapture and a coming doomsday and is seen to possess a single, writhing piece of the Blob, hinting that the creature may return for seconds…

Final Thoughts:
I was probably way too young when I first saw The Blob, but I don’t regret it one bit. This is another example of a remake done right as it takes everything that worked about the original and dials it up to eleven, with the twist that The Blob takes its premise very seriously and is much more of a monster movie/body horror than a cheap (if ambitious) B-movie. As over the top as Flagg’s roguish depiction is, I really liked his characterisation as an outsider who’s been abandoned by his family and is constantly misjudged but who has a good heart and rises to the occasion. Shawnee Smith did a decent job being more than just a pretty, screaming face but I did find her a bit weak compared to Kevin Dillon, though Flagg and Meg made for a good odd couple. I really enjoyed how closely the film sticks to the premise of the original but puts little twists on things, like having the bad boy be the lead protagonist, featuring the creature more to showcase the effects, and altering its origin to make it a man-made parasite as an example of humanity’s hubris and war-like nature. Every complaint I had about the original is addressed here as we see the Blob in full glory for each kill, which are suitably ghastly and disturbing thanks to some truly remarkable practical effects. I loved how the Blob consumed its victims, engulfing them and melting their flesh and bone and leaving them shrieking, helpless messes of meat within its churning body. The Blob was extremely aggressive, sprouting tentacles and changing form to overwhelm its prey and truly depicted as unstoppable rather than being downplayed as a prank. The Blob even has the balls to kill off a kid, something rarely seen in horror, and never fails to entertain me no matter how many times I see it.

My Rating:

Great Stuff

Do you agree that The Blob is one of the best horror remakes out there? Were you a fan of bad-boy Flagg and his rebellious attitude? Did you like the changes made to the Blob’s origins or do you prefer it to be a purely space-bound creature? Were you impressed by the gruesome special effects and gory kills? Are you disappointed that we never got a sequel to this film? What sci-fi movies are you watching this January? Tell me what you think about The Blob in the comments, check out my other sci-fi reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest more sci-fi content for the site.