Dr. K's Waiting Room

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January celebrates two notable dates in science-fiction history: “National Science Fiction Day” on January 2 to coincide with the birth of world renowned sci-fi writer Isaac Asimov, and 12 January being when Arthur C. Clarke’s HAL 9000 was created. Accordingly, I dedicate January to celebrating sci-fi in all its forms.

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Quick Facts:
Based on 1950 reports of a strange substance falling from the sky and undergoing several title changes, The Blob was a showcase for rising star Steve McQueen. The special effects were created by Valley Forge Films using silicone mixed with red vegetable dye, time-lapse photography, and miniatures. A critical flop at the time, this cult classic inspired a far worse 1972 sequel, a well-regarded 1988 remake, and an annual “Blobfest” celebration and re-enactment in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania.

The Review:
What starts as a cosy night in the forest for “teenagers” Steve Andrews (Steven McQueen) and Jane Martin (Aneta Corseaut) quickly turns into an exasperating experience trying to convince their small Pennsylvania town of an unusual threat. Initially, Steve and Jane’s biggest concerns are making sure their relationship is legitimate. Jane seems reluctant to go too far with smooth talking Steve and he’s anxious to prove he’s not a hot-shot frat boy, dutifully keeping his hands to himself and offering to drive her back to town so he can apologise. However, Steve almost hits a panicked old man (Olin Howlin), who stumbles into the road after investigating a nearby meteorite crash. While poking around the red-hot rock, the old man witnessed the titular “Blob” seeping from the rock, which quickly affixed itself to his hand, driving him into a frenzy. Naturally eager to help, Steve loads him into his prized car and races to Doctor T. Hallen’s (Stephen Chase) office, unwittingly insulting fellow “teens” Tony Gressette (Robert Fields), “Mooch” Miller (James Bonnett), and Al (Anthony Franke) by outpacing Tony’s car. Although Steve gets the old man to Dr. Hallen in time, the doctor is stumped by the strange, parasitic growth on his hand, which has doubled in size and appears to be absorbing and dissolving the limb. After anesthetising the old man, Dr. Hallen asks Steve to find some clue as to what happened, causing Steve to attract kindly but authoritative Police Lieutenant Dave Barton (Earl Rowe) after accepting Tony’s challenge for a drag race. Luckily, Steve sweet talks his way out of it and makes amends with Tony’s crew, who reluctantly join Steve and Jane in discovering the remnants of the meteorite.

While Tony and the others head to the cinema, Steve finds Dr. Hallen being consumed by the now larger and more voracious Blob. Rattled, Steve races to the police station for help, only to be met by aggressive scepticism from war veteran Sergeant Jim Bert (John Benson), who believes Steve’s talk of murder and monsters is an elaborate hoax. Dismissing Bert’s accusations, Dave checks out the doctor’s office with Steve, Jane, and Bert, finding it ransacked and Dr. Hallen missing, which only furthers Bert’s suspicions. Steve’s so flustered by what he saw and Bert’s accusations that he briefly questions himself, concerned that he somehow imagined the Blob, though Jane strengthens his resolve and he goes to recruit Tony’s crew in warning the town. Steve’s concerns only double when he spots his father’s (Hugh Graham) grocery store unlocked and he and Jane encounter the far larger and more bulbous Blob inside. They hide in the meat freezer and decide to set off the air raid sirens to get the town to listen. Surprisingly, most of The Blob is focused on this adolescent drama as Steve and the others desperately try to convince the town of the danger, with only Dave taking them seriously as Steve’s a good (if cheeky) kid who’s clearly terrified. Bert, however, is as unconvinced as the townsfolk, who constantly dismiss Steve’s warnings and regard the kids as delinquents pulling an elaborate prank. Jane’s father, Henry Martin (Elbert Smith), is particularly aggrieved by it all, seeing Steve as a bad influence, and Tony and his crew don’t help with that perception. Ironically, Tony and his friends are instrumental in stopping the Blob in the finale, working alongside Henry and even Bert to gather the town’s fire extinguishers. However, as many as forty deaths occur prior to that, primarily because the kids weren’t taken seriously.

And, I mean, why would they be? These “kids” all seem to be in their late twenties for starters and all they do is lounge around, having drag races and rotting their brains with bad horror movies (that, ironically, even the older townsfolk enjoy). Even when the townsfolk are warned of the danger, they’re more concerned about having their sleep disturbed and how they should dress for the crisis. It doesn’t help that Steve cannot accurately describe what he saw, mainly because it was so surreal and he barely caught a glimpse of the Blob as it devoured Dr. Hallen. There’s also no trace of the creature in the doctor’s office and any who encounter it (like an unsuspecting mechanic (Ralph Roseman)) are simply absorbed by the gelatinous creature. The Blob is an unknowable, mysterious thing that crash-lands in the forest near Steve and Jane. Silent and caustic, the Blob appears to be a parasite rather than a thinking, malicious alien organism, consuming living flesh and adding to its mass simply on instinct rather than actively stalking its prey. We barely see what the Blob is capable of as it mostly attacks offscreen, meaning we’re left relying on Steve’s shaken explanations and a few brief glimpses of the Blob. Although it’s accompanied by a jazzy theme song that’s as tone-deaf as some of the acting, the Blob largely disappears for a huge chunk of the movie as Steve runs around trying to convince people of the threat. Unsurprisingly, the amorphous creature’s effects have aged as badly as the re-dubbing peppered throughout the film, largely seen attacking miniatures or as stop-motion-esque goo badly spliced into the film. The creature is immediately said to be unstoppable after only minimal attempts to stop it. Bullets do about as much against it as acid, live wires, and fire, and that’s about all the townsfolk have to use, meaning they’re powerless to keep the animated glob from enveloping a diner Steve, Jane, and her well-meaning but naïve little brother, Danny Martin (Keith Almoney), shelter in.

Of course, The Blob’s big showcase moment is its attack on the local cinema, where Tony and his crew enjoy a cheesy black-and-white horror flick with their girlfriends. Although they saw the remains of the meteorite, they’re clueless to the Blob’s threat but are begrudgingly convinced to help Steve and Jane warn the town, though their efforts are largely wasted until they cause a ruckus. While most of the town gathers outside in the shopping district, the cinemagoers remain glued to their film, unaware that the Blob has seeped through the vents and attacked the projectionist (Eugene Sabe). They soon realise what happened when the movie abruptly stops and the Blob oozes from the projectionist’s area, sending them fleeing and screaming into the streets. Sadly, we never get to see what the Blob does to those too slow to escape; we only hear from Dave that it’s a gruesome site. Enlarged to gigantic proportions, the Blob seeps from the cinema, finally convincing Bert of its threat, and summarily traps Steve, Jane, and Danny in the diner. Though Dave tries to electrocute the Blob, this just sets the diner ablaze, threatening a grisly end for those trapped inside. Luckily, Steve recalls that the Blob recoiled from the cold in the freezer and manages to radio Dave and have him gather up all the fire extinguishers they can find and aim them at the creature, successfully causing it to recede and freeze in record time. The film then abruptly ends with the frozen Blob being dumped in the Arctic by the Air Force and then shoehorns in a forced environmental message that warns that global warming will cause the creature to revive and threaten the world anew. Although the meat freezer scene established the Blob’s aversion to the cold, this is an extremely sudden and anti-climactic ending to a disappointingly dull B-movie that stretches logic to breaking point and leaves the movie on a cliff-hanger was certainly an ambitious choice, to say the least.

Final Thoughts:
I vaguely remember watching The Blob many, many years ago. Or, at least, parts of it. But I grew up with the 1988 remake, which was a gruesome piece of body horror cinema that I still regard as one of the best remakes. Watching the 1958 original only reinforces that as this is a ridiculously dull and toothless B-movie sci-fi flick. While Steve McQueen makes for a good leading man, I didn’t believe for a second that he was a teenager, and his performance is hampered by the comical, overly theatrical performances rampant in 1950s movies. Jane was essentially a blank piece of wood, there to worry about Dr. Hallen’s dog, cling to Steve when frightened, and bolster his resolve when it faltered. I quite liked Tony and his crew; they were fun anti-heroes who came through in a pinch, but extremely underdeveloped as characters. Bert was the dirt worst, judging the kids as delinquents due to his prejudices and embodying the town’s dismissive and apathetic attitude towards the youngsters, who are seen as nothing but troublemakers. Sadly, we’re stuck with these boring-ass characters for most of the film as the Blob disappears after eating that mechanic and is only talked about until Steve spies it in the grocery store, grinding the film to a halt as we watch these “kids” desperately try to warn the town of the creature’s threat. When the Blob does appear, it’s an impressive and ambitious series of special effects that haven’t aged too well but are still more entertaining to watch than the lead actors. The cinema sequence is an all-time moment, for sure, but I liked the gooey Blob effects when it attacked people and slithered under doors. Sadly, The Blob is largely forgettable beyond this. The ending comes out of nowhere and is a masterpiece of convenience, the environmental message is lacklustre and tacked on, and the overall plot of the kids having to prove themselves just didn’t grab me.

My Rating:

Could Be Better

Do you consider The Blob a sci-fi classic? Did you enjoy the focus on the teens trying to prove the creature’s threat or did you always find it boring? Were you impressed by the Blob’s special effects or were you disappointed by its lack of screen time? Would you poke alien goop with a stick? Have you ever attended Blobfest? Would you like to see a new version of The Blob and how are you celebrating sci-fi this January? Leave a like and a comment with your thoughts, check out my other sci-fi reviews, and donate to my Ko-Fi to suggest other sci-fi content you’d like to see.