She wanted everything to be “perfect”, so I booked the bridal suite and every pamper session the hotel offered.
Of course, the first thing she did was criticise. The view wasn’t right, the bed sheets were slightly rumpled, there weren’t enough towels.
“Yes, dear,” I smiled and nodded. “Whatever you say, dear”.
I wasn’t mad. How could I be?
I drew her bath with enthusiasm and, when she stepped in, she didn’t even notice her camomile infusion was laced with sulphuric acid until I was holding her head under the bubbles.
Her choking screams were worth the burns I suffered.
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