Wrestling Recap: Hell in a Cell Predictions

I can’t help but notice that the WWE hasn’t really put that much effort into putting together a match card for this year’s Hell in a Cell event; only a few days ago, there were just four matches announced for the pay-per-view, with two of them, of course, being Hell in a Cell matches.

Instead, the WWE has largely been concerned with screwing up yet another draft, which saw a majority of their talent simply staying on the same show and a couple of weeks of complete mess as they scrabbled to explain their bullshit rules regarding the whole thing. They did make the surprising decision to split Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods from Big E, which I honestly didn’t expect, but then they made the boneheaded decision to swap the Raw and Smack Down Tag Team Champions and literally have them exchange belts in a backstage segment because that was the “easiest” thing to do. I mean…it’s not really and that’s never happened before; I would honestly have preferred to see both team stripped of their belts. They also did that classic annoy thing where guys who are in the middle of a feud are drafted to the same show so we can all bask in the joy of the never-ending issues between Rey Mysterio, his family, and Seth Rollins.

Jeff Hardy vs. Elias

One good thing to come out of the draft, I guess, is that Jeff Hardy jumped over to Raw and, unlike many of the other draftees, was actually inserted into a whole new feud that, hopefully, won’t focus on his more…questionable character flaws. Instead, he was blindsided by a returning Elias, who is back to being an obnoxious heel because…the status quo is always best? Seriously, Elias is always better as a heel and I never bought into his weird face run; similar to Kevin Owens, I see Elias as a lifetime layered villain in the mould of Chris Jericho so I’m glad to see he’s back to what works and, since he just came back, I’m assuming he’ll steal a win here thanks to his acoustic equaliser.

My prediction: Elias by pin fall (following a sneaky guitar shot)

Smack Down Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Bayley (c) vs. Sasha Banks

So, if you’ve followed my blog and this article over the last few months, you’ll know that I’ve been itching for the WWE to actually pull the trigger on the Bayley/Sasha Banks feud so you’ll probably think that I’m glad to finally see these two going at it. But, of course, I’m not and for a couple of reasons.

The first is that Sasha is a terrible babyface; she just doesn’t fit the look, what with her smarmy face and holier-than-thou attitude. You might think I’m biased since I really don’t care for Sasha and think she’s massively over-rated and…well, yeah, that’s true but I’ll never understand how the WWE messed up natural babyfaces like Bayley and Sami Zayn so badly. The second issue is that their first match since the trigger was pulled is a Hell in a Cell match. Now, call me a traditionalist but Hell in a Cell really should be the culmination of a blood feud, not the start of it! I mean…literally, how do you top this match when they inevitably clash again? Well, knowing the WWE, probably with an hour long ironwoman match than main events the next event…

My prediction: Bayley by pin fall, championship retained

Money in the Bank Contract Match: Otis vs. The Miz

Remember when Otis won the Money in the Bank briefcase instead of Aleister Black? I would forgive you if you had forgotten this fact as his television time has been a bit inconsistent over the last few months (Mainly because of COVID-19, I’m sure…but still) and he hasn’t really been getting much of a push or significant spotlight considering he has the briefcase. Instead, he’s been running afoul of the Miz and John Morrison for…two ice ages? And, as a result of a kangaroo trial, now has to put the briefcase on the line against the Miz. Personally, I’d love to get the briefcase off of Otis but we live in an age where Jey Uso is challenging off the Universal Championship so I’m guessing he’s keeping hold of it here…

My prediction: Otis by pin fall, briefcase retained

WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell I Quit Match: Roman Reigns (c) vs. Jey Uso

So, unfortunately for me, the WWE’s experiment with Jey Uso was not simply a one-and-done thing and he’s inexplicably getting another shot at Roman Reigns here. Add to that the fact that things between them have rapidly escalated to the point where the WWE is putting a bit of a unique twist on events by splicing an “I Quit” stipulation into a Hell in a Cell match, which is actually really interesting…I just think it would be more suitable to more technically-orientated wrestlers. Like, can you imagine Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero or Shawn Michaels in an I Quit Hell in a Cell match?

I was kind of hoping to see Jimmy Uso join forces with his brother to pad this feud out with a handicap situation, of sorts, but I guess he’s still not 100%. Either way, I still feel that the WWE has massively dropped the ball with this feud; they were experimenting with a Big E push so they should have had Reigns kick the crap out of Jey, decimate him and Jimmy, and Big E make the save because of mutual respect, or whatever, to insert him into the title picture rather than a nobody like Jey but, hey, what do I know, right?

My prediction: Roman Reigns by submission, championship retained

WWE Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Randy Orton

Boy, am I sick to death of this feud! Sure, you can argue that its escalated nicely to get to this point as the two have gotten more and more aggressive and personal the more they clash but it’s just a bit dull, isn’t it? Unlike the Bayley/Sasha match, though, this surely, surely, has to be the end of this rivalry, right? Now with a few new names on Raw, it’s the best time to put this to rest and move Drew McIntyre on to more interesting and dynamic opponents.

Specifically, I’m thinking AJ Styles, since he’s on Raw now, would be a great way to occupy McIntyre’s time, and Braun Strowman is over there too so I think it’s inevitable that those two will butt heads at some point but I would love to see what he and Cesaro could do if the WWE would stop lumbering the poor bastard with meaningless tag teams and

My prediction: Drew McIntyre by pin fall, championship retained

How excited are you for this year’s Hell in a Cell? Do you agree that forcing an annual event where superstars must compete in Hell in a Cell matches is derivative or do you look forward to the potential for carnage the event has? Who are your picks to win and lose? Whatever you think, drop a comment below and be sure to check out my follow-up article discussing the results from the night.

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