Oh, good lord, it was worse than I could have imagined. Now, I’m not arrogant enough to say that I “called” how Super Showdown was going to turn out as I think we all knew what was going to go down, even if we had buried our doubts deep at the back of our minds, but man, do I hate being right.
The WWE really do like to blow their load on these Saudi Arabia shows, though; I kind of feel like, if you are going to put on these shows and destroy your new generation of superstars, it might make more sense to have them mid-year and November, well away from WrestleMania and SummerSlam, so we could at least spend some time building back towards a WrestleMania that won’t feature a whole mess of over-the-hill performers from days gone by shitting all over their modern equivalents.
Anyway, it is what it is, so let’s go through what went down…
We were gifted with this bonus match to kick things off, like it mattered in the grand scheme of things. This was clearly just a throwaway match as the O.C. and the Viking Raiders haven’t really been butting heads for a while, but I’m surprised that the WWE didn’t take the opportunity to dust of Triple H and Shawn Michaels to plough through the O.C.
Winner: The O.C. by pin fall.
The most prestigious price in all of the WWE turned out to be this weird, cheap-ass looking chunk of piss-coloured quartz. Super.
R-Truth and Bobby Lashley started this match off in a short sprint that saw Lashley, the guy who has been lugging around Rusev and having big, power-orientated matches with the Bulgarian Brute, get unceremoniously rolled up and pinned by R-Truth (R-Truth!!) after missing a Spear.
Lashley beat the snot out of R-Truth afterwards but he was still able to fluke his way to a win over Andrade (The United States Champion, in case you forgot!) and get past Erick Rowan after Rowan got all pissed off about his mysterious cage and got himself disqualified for beating Truth even more senseless.
Then, after all that, AJ Styles flew in and got R-Truth to tap out to the Calf Crusher in almost no time at all; I guess the aim was to spotlight a hot, babyface run with some comedic spots but my God! Anyway, Rey Mysterio wasn’t able to make it to the ring as the O.C. had taken him out backstage…so the Undertaker sauntered out, hit a really sloppy Chokeslam, and pinned AJ to win the trophy. I mean…sure? I guess? Honestly, this brief interaction, ending, and the events of later in the night don’t exactly have me clamouring for a face-off between Styles and ‘Taker at WrestleMania.
My prediction: R-Truth by pin fall.
Actual winner: The Undertaker, by absolute bullshit.
So, despite John Morrison and the Miz not having teamed up for quite some time, they not only immediately got a shot at the Tag Team Championships but also worked as a well-oiled machine here. And this was against Big E and Kofi Kingston, two guys who are seemingly inseparable and have more Tag Team Championships that most people have had hot dinners.
Anyway, things took a little while to kick in and Kofi and Big E took it in turns to play “face in peril” but, in the end, Kofi crashed and burned in the worst way after missing a dive of the top rope and nearly killing himself. A sneaky chair shot by Morrison and Miz grabbing the tights lead to the New Day abruptly losing the belts.
My prediction: John Morrison and the Miz by pin fall.
Actual winner: John Morrison and the Miz by pin fall, new champions crowned.
Another bonus match here that existed purely to slap together yet another match between these two and to continue this odd offshoot of the Humberto/Andrade feud. Considering the WWE seemed to be pushing Humberto as this new, up-and-coming babyface, they sure do like to have him lose a lot; I get that there’s value in an underdog babyface but Humberto’s quite a big guy and it kind of makes him look bad to be on the back foot so often.
Winner: Angel Garza pin fall.
I don’t really get what the WWE are doing with the Street Profits; since being called up to Raw, they haven’t really had that many matches (I’m struggling to think of even one; I think they were in a tag match that main evented Raw once?) It’s probably because of that that I didn’t really think the Street Profits had much of a shot here; well, that and the fact that they were only introduced into Seth Rollins and Murphy’s business literally the week before Super Showdown.
Still, this was a semi-decent showcase for the Street Profits as it hinted at what they are capable of and what they could do but it didn’t really mean a lot in the grand scheme of things as, after Montez Ford was tossed into the barricade and taken out of the match, Murphy picked up the pin fall after pinning Angelo Dawkins following a Stomp onto the ring apron.
My prediction: Seth Rollins and Murphy to win, probably through shenanigans, and retain the championships.
Actual winner: Seth Rollins and Murphy by pin fall, championships retained.
Yet another bonus match as, everything the WWE heads to Saudi Arabia, they feel the need to dust off Mansoor, a guy who pretty much never factors into WWE programming at all otherwise. And how better to highlight this rarely-seen performer than randomly throwing him into a match with Dolph Ziggler?
Ziggler worked a predictable, safe style here; he grounded Mansoor, talking smack, and kept Mansoor fighting for every little bit of momentum. As you might expect, though, Mansoor turned things around, landed a Moonsault, and took the victory. I think Mansoor may have the most “home town” wins out of any WWE competitor.
Winner: Mansoor pin fall.
So, in the weeks leading up to Super Showdown, and even during the event, the WWE did everything they could to plug the notion that Ricochet had a fighting chance against Brock Lesnar. The commentary team mentioned more than once that Lesnar, traditionally, struggles against smaller opponents…despite the fact that he decimated Kofi Kingston without any issue at all.
And that is exactly what happened here: the bell rang, Ricochet leapt right in there, and Lesnar ended him with a single F5 after tossing him about for a few seconds. I literally don’t get it; if Lesnar has better matches with smaller guys, why wouldn’t you actually let that happen when he faces smaller guys? Instead, he beats Kofi and Ricochet lightning fast but has protracted, brawl-out bore fests with Roman Reigns?
My prediction: Brock Lesnar by murder-death-kill to retain the championship.
Actual winner: Brock Lesnar by murder-death-kill to retain the championship.
So, perhaps in a reflection of how God-awful this feud has been, this match was a slog from start to finish; maybe it’s because everyone is sick of seeing these two fight or maybe it’s just because they were having an off night but both guys were lacking any kind of motivation or intensity…and when you’re inside a steel cage, that’s a bit of a problem.
Amidst the slow, plodding exchange of power moves, Corbin continually tried to escape the cage (which is pretty good character work for him, to be honest) or, predictably, kept Reigns on the offense (because God forbid that we see Reigns as a focused, monster of a machine who just destroys his opponent; he’s always got to be on the back foot no matter who he is facing).
In the end, Corbin got caught short on the top rope and ate a Superman Punch; then Reigns wrapped a chain around his fist and hit another Superman Punch to mercifully bring this to an end. While this was complete rubbish, you’ll be happy to hear that Reigns has since finally moved on to another opponent as per this week’s Friday Night SmackDown but, considering how that came about, I cant say I’m too pleased about that either.
My prediction: Roman Reigns by pin fall.
Actual winner: Roman Reigns by pin fall.
Once again, the WWE tossed some long clothes and shirts over their women so that they don’t incur the wrath of the Saudi Arabians; you could bitch and moan about that but, again, it is what it is and would you rather the women not be on the show or that they compromise and wear a shirt?
Anyway, this was supposed to be Naomi’s big shot but, as I said during my predictions, there’s just very little reason to care because surely nobody thought Naomi really had a shot at winning here? It all felt so last minute and slap-dash; I doubt that Naomi will even feature on Elimination Chamber or appear on WrestleMania outside of that obligatory women’s battle royal they do so I don’t really feel any great loss to see her lose here.
My prediction: Bayley, by nefarious means, to retain the championship.
Actual winner: Bayley, by nefarious means, to retain the championship.
And here we go. Honestly, the show fell off a cliff way before this match but this match was everything you didn’t want to see (well, I’m sure there are some idiots out there who did want to see this and to them I say: get the fuck off my blog!)
The bell rang and Goldberg hit a Spear. The Fiend, Bray Wyatt, kicked out at two and, for daring to try and slap on the Mandible Claw, then got pummelled by not one, not two, but three more Spears and, without a doubt, the shittest-looking Jackhammer I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, it literally just looked like Goldberg hit a regularly-ass Suplex! Then, he lazily made a cover (he could barely be bothered to hook the leg) and won the fuckin’ belt!
The next night, on SmackDown, Roman Reigns made the challenge to Goldberg and they will now be officially facing off at WrestleMania, while Wyatt has been lumbered with a WrestleMania rematch against John Cena and, I have to say, why not bring some of that booking here? Why not have Goldberg face Cena at Super Showdown? That’s a marquee, main event, “dream match” we’ve never seen and, best of all, it keeps Goldberg away from the damn belt!
Reigns could then have challenged Wyatt and ended his reign of terror at WrestleMania but, no; apparently, Goldberg’s brief, phoned-in appearances on the last two SmackDown’s were enough for the WWE to put the breaks on, piss all over everything Wyatt has done to make himself relevant once again, simply to get a little more money out of people who are stupid enough to think Goldberg (Goldberg!!) being a World Champion is a good idea in 2020.
My prediction: Goldberg, by shitting all over the Fiend’s mystique (and pin fall).
Actual winner: Goldberg, by shitting all over the Fiend’s mystique (and pin fall).
What did you think about Super Showdown? Comment below with your feedback (unless it’s pro-Goldberg; I’m sorry but you just cannot convince me that it was a good move).