Winners: The Usos, Bayley, Rey Mysterio, Shane McMahon, Tony Nese, Becky Lynch, Charlotte Flair, Bayley, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Kofi Kingston, Brock Lesnar.
So, it turned out that the SmackDown! Live Tag Team Championships weren’t actually up for grabs in the match between Daniel Bryan and Rowan and the Usos, which was good, as the Usos shouldn’t really be challenging for the belts as they’re Raw guys, but bad because the Usos won the match…which seemingly means they will be getting an actual title shot. Maybe, though, we’ll see the WWE weave the Uso’s issues with the Revival back into the matter and throw in Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins for a bit of a unification match at…oh, let’s say, SummerSlam.
Naomi, Nikki Cross, Bayley, Natalya, Ember Moon, Carmella, and Mandy Rise fought for the women’s Money in the Bank briefcase afterwards in a match with some pretty rough spots; at one point, Bayley took a hard shot on the hip from a ladder and there was a bit of a pause in the action as Ember ran wild for a bit. In the end, though, Bayley was able to take out Mandy and Sonya to snag the briefcase, which was a great was to finally shine some spotlight on Bayley as a serious contender.
We got a new United States Champion as Rey Mysterio went right after Samoa Joe, weathering Joe’s stiff shots, and got a flash pinfall off a Hurricanrana counter to a Powerbomb attempt. Joe went nuts after the match though we we’ll no doubt see these two go at it at least one more time.
Unfortunately, it looks like we’ll see more from Shane McMahon and the Miz as well as Shane managed to grab the ropes after Miz hit the Skull-Crushing Finale on to a steel chair in their steel cage match, which shouldn’t have broken the pinfall but it did and then, as they climbed the cage wall, Shane slipped out of his shirt to win the damn match. So Miz went to all that trouble to turn babyface and now he can’t even beat Shane McMahon two matches in a row? Even if he wins the next match/the blowoff match, Miz looks super weak at being bested at every turn but Shane.
The Cruiserweight Championship actually made it on to the main card for a change, so someone backstage must have made some kind of mistake. In any case, Ariya Daivari put up a decent fight, hitting a Frog Splash and the Hammerlock Lariat, but it was all Tony Nese once he hit the Running Nese to retain the championship.
Becky Lynch pulled double-duty next, taking on Lacey Evans first of all for the Raw Women’s Championship; Lacey managed to endure Becky’s offense and targeted Becky’s arm but got a bit screwed over by shoddy refereeing (a theme for the entire night, apparently) when she had Becky pinned for more than three seconds but the referee never counted the pin. Becky then locked in the Dis-Arm-Her to retain and then immediately had to defend the SmackDown! Live Women’s Championship against Charlotte Flair which, unfortunately, didn’t go as well; Lacey hit Becky with the Women’s Right, which was enough for Charlotte to take advantage and get the win…only for Bayley to immediately cash-in her briefcase and pin Charlotte to win the belt for herself. I really wish Bayley had cashed-in mid-match so that we would be spared yet another title victory for Charlotte but at least Bayley got the title and is back on top and is a big deal again.
Elias attacked Roman Reigns backstage but ended up being hit with a Superman Punch and a Spear and pinned within about ten seconds regardless because…fuck him! Luckily, AJ Styles and Seth Rollins put in a far better effort in their match for the Universal Championship; this was every bit the match of the night it looked to be on paper, with both guys throwing all their best and big moves at each other to really ramp up the action and the tension. In the end, AJ countered the Stomp into the Styles Clash for a super-close near-fall but Seth then countered the Phenomenal Forearm into THE KNEE~!!, hit the Superkick, and retained the title with a Stomp. After the match, AJ reluctantly shook Seth’s hand, meaning I guess we’ll see him turn heel the next night on Raw.
Kofi Kingston defended the WWE Championship against Kevin Owens next; they started the match with a brawl but Owens quickly took control but brutalising Kofi on the outside, taunting his efforts, and targeting his legs. Kofi managed to counter the Pop-Up Powerbomb into an SOS in a great spot for a near-fall, kicked out both the Pop-Up Powerbomb at the Stunner at two (not sure I agree with the Stunner kick-out…), and then had his boot taken off by Owens for…reasons…nothing came of it though as Kofi got the knees up on Owens’ Senton Bomb and immediately hit the Trouble in Paradise to retain.
The night ended with the men’s Money in the Bank ladder match; Randy Orton, Drew McIntyre, Ali, Ricochet, Andrade, and Finn Balor all threw themselves at each other, smashed each other off ladders and with ladders, and busted their asses for nearly twenty minutes and all of it was for nothing as, right at the last minute, Brock-fuckin’-Lesnar showed up (having attacked Sami Zayn earlier in the night, it turned out), to shove Ali over, climb the ladder, and grab the briefcase. I mean…sure, why bother actually doing something new and having McIntyre get the briefcase, which he actually needs, when you can have Brock carry it into Super Show-Down and reap all that Saudi Arabian cash.
Brock Lesnar showed up on Raw, hopping about like a complete fool with the Money in the Bank briefcase over his shoulder like a boom box. Seth Rollins came out to confront him, soon followed by Kofi Kingston, and Paul Heyman basically said they’ll have to wait and see when Brock chooses to cash in and on whom…though it’ll most likely be at Super Show-Down…
Braun Strowman then chased Sami Zayn backstage, mutilated him on the entrance ramp, and then made short work of him in the ring in what was basically a complete squash match. Poor Sami; for a brief moment there it actually seemed like he was going to be getting a decent push towards the upper-mid-card.
Ricochet and Cesaro were up next, which saw Cesaro take advantage of the fact that Ricochet was still selling the effects of his match at Money in the Bank and get a win after a pretty short-but-sweet match. Afterwards, Roman Reigns had a run-in with Shane McMahon, which resulted in them setting up a match at Super Show-Down…how messed up would it be if Shane was able to beat Reigns, too!?
The Usos and the Revival then made up for the weird cross-brand nonsense from the Usos and all the stupid comedy shit by actually having a solid, hard-fought match; even better, after going back and forth for just over ten minutes, the Revival actually got the win…so I guess they’ll be destroyed by the Viking Raiders next week or by the Undertaker and Kane at Super Show-Down or something…
All the women got in the ring for a bit of a verbal exchange, which of course led to a six-person tag team match pitting Becky Lynch, Alexa Bliss, and Nikki Cross against The Iiconics and Lacey Evans. Alexa chose to spend most of the match just hanging out by the ring apron with a cup of coffee, which was pretty amusing; in the end, the disadvantage didn’t matter much was Becky picked up the win, once again undermining the Women’s Tag Team Champions.
Mick Foley made a welcome return to WWE television to unveil the all-new 24/7 Championship, which was then fought for when a bunch of jobbers and nobodies ran to the ring to grab the belt and become the inaugural champion. Although Titus O’Neil ended up holding the belt, he was immediately pinned by Robert Roode; however, Roode was outsmarted by R-Truth later in the night so I guess the championship will be a cross brand thing (like the majority of the WWE roster these days…)
The Miz and Drew McIntyre were up next; Shane McMahon was at ringside, which eventually factored into the finish when, after Miz seemed to be building some momentum, Shane hit him with a cheap shot and distracted him enough for Drew to hit the Claymore and get the win. After the match, Reigns saved Miz from being hit with a Coast-To-Coast and all I can think is that a Drew/Miz team would be a much better angle…
Baron Corbin and Lashley ended the night across the ring from Kofi Kingston and Seth Rollins in a no-disqualification match; Kofi ended up being isolated for a while but Rollins fended off the heels with a steel chair and the faces got the win after Kofi pinned Corbin with the Trouble In Paradise. Afterwards, though, Lashley took Kofi and Seth out and Brock teased a cash-in before Heyman announced that we’ll find out who Brock will cash-in on next week…gee, I can’t wait…
Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods opened the show this week to welcome back Big E; this caught the attention of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn to set up a match between Zayn and Kofi later in the evening.
Ali and Andrade continued their mini feud with another match; Andrade had control for the majority of the match until Ali made his comeback, only to get dumped to the outside. In the end, though, Ali kicked out of the Double Knees and got a fluke win by rolling up Andrade. Man, it didn’t take long at all for these two hot prospects to start just spinning their wheels…
Mandy Rose and Carmella were up next but the match got called off when a whole mess of guys came rushing out to try and get their hands on R-Truth and his 24/7 Championship. Kofi and Zayn had their match afterwards; Sami only got to put up a bit of a fight before Kofi bested him with the Trouble in Paradise but it’s still very refreshing to see Sami involved in the title picture. Afterwards, Paul Heyman teased a cash-in but Dolph Ziggler returned to absolutely murder Kofi.
Becky Lynch and Bayley then teamed up against Charlotte Flair and Lacey Evans in a pretty solid contest; Bayley got the win by pinning Charlotte once again, which helps keep her strong and lends a lot of legitimacy to her new title reign. Afterwards, Ziggler explained (in a very passionate promo) that he attacked Kofi basically out of envy; either way, this was the most fired up Dolph’s been in a while and, again, it’s nice to see him back involved in the title scene.
Roman Reigns got the main event (because of course…) to have an actual match against Elias; Shane McMahon was at ringside, however, which dragged the match out a bit but Roman still won (because…of course). Shane attacked after the match and, when Roman fought him off, Drew McIntyre laid him out with a Claymore. So, what I learned from this is that Roman’s issues with Shane and his goons is more important than Kofi Kingston and the WWE Championship…